Where's Rusty? Poop Bandit Policy Edition

He's working as a policy consultant at EPA drawing up a policy that both respects workers' rights and deals with the Poop Bandit issue.

In the email, obtained by Government Executive, Deputy Regional Administrator Howard Cantor mentioned “several incidents” in the building, including clogging the toilets with paper towels and “an individual placing feces in the hallway” outside the restroom.

Confounded by what to make of this occurrence, EPA management “consulted” with workplace violence “national expert” John Nicoletti, who said that hallway feces is in fact a health and safety risk. He added the behavior was “very dangerous” and the individuals responsible would “probably escalate” their actions.

“Management is taking this situation very seriously and will take whatever actions are necessary to identify and prosecute these individuals,” Cantor wrote. He asked for any employees with knowledge of the poop bandit or bandits to notify their supervisor.

I'm like, you know, almost jealous that I'm not holding a degree in political science so I can work on the leading issues of the day.

I'm going out on a limb here, I think we can exclude any registered Republicans from the Poop Bandit suspect list. I mean I could be wrong, except I'm not.

Hat Tip: Charles.

Posted by: Howie at 12:41 PM


1 Probably someone who attempts to identify with "99%."

Posted by: Captain Harlock at June 25, 2014 01:27 PM

2 The Shitter hasgot to piss... And that doubles his capability

Posted by: Kuffar at June 25, 2014 03:25 PM

3 Greetings:

Maybe EPA should stop hiring GITMO graduates.

Posted by: 11B40 at June 25, 2014 04:38 PM

4 I don't know about you, but I like to leave an "upper deck" each time I stop by to visit EPA.

Posted by: Mullah Gitawny at June 25, 2014 06:36 PM

5 http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=upper+deck

Posted by: Mullah Gitawny at June 25, 2014 06:38 PM

6 Like there are any registered Republicans in the IRS. Frau Lerner used then to make lampshades back in '09.

Posted by: Xavier at June 25, 2014 07:41 PM

7 Mental illness. ADA. Can't fire. "Reasonable accomodation."

Posted by: Peter B at June 26, 2014 01:29 AM

8 Oh my!

Everybody Poops Agency. Even the computers crap out.

Posted by: DomM at June 26, 2014 07:24 AM

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