National Guardsman Arrested, Wanted to aid al Qaeda, Blow up LA Subway

Nicholas Teausant says, "I can has al Qaeda strong muscles?"

I know, I know, your first question is .... LA has a subway? I know I'm late to this one, but remember I have this thing called a "day job", so cut me some slack.

Apparently Nicholas Teausant was picked up on an Amtrak train heading to Canada en route to Syria, to join the Islamic State of Iraq and Syria (ISIS). From his many selfies posted at his Facebook page we can see that his extreme pencil-neckiness will help him fit right in. The other funny thing here is that his last post announces that he's en route to London, apparently getting on the Amtrak train near Tacoma Washington. This would be the same train he's arrested on so ... lulz.

His YouTube account has one video of himself discussing whether smoking is haram or not, but he has a bunch of other videos he links about Anwar al Awlaki and jihad in Syria.

The headline above is kind of misleading (but that's what most of the MSM newsies are running with) because apparently Teausant was in the process of getting kicked out of the National Guard. He was such a dumbass that he couldn't keep his grades up at a community college.

From the criminal complaint:

Beginning on October 3, 2013, and continuing to the present, there is probable cause to believe TEAUSANT, a United States citizen, has explored ways of supporting violent extremist activities and providing material support to various terrorist organizations, culminating in his attempt to join a foreign terrorist organization known as Al Qa'ida in Iraq, which has recently announced it was changing its name to the Islamic State of Iraq and the Levant, also translated as the Islamic State oflraq and Syria, as discussed below.
As for the subway angle:
On December 5, 2013, TEAUSANT texted CHS asking how he could acquire a .,firework" from China Town. CHS inquired what $,pe of fireworks and TEAUSANT responded "Mm the big loud one! With the biggest boom and the one that's also compact!! Lol or at least close to it." A later text from TEAUSANT to CHS stated: "Don't go to LA Anytime soo Akhi Please trust me on this...and ifyou do go don't use the subway."

During a phone call on the same date between TEAUSANT and CHS, TEAUSANT advised that he had been on a camping trip with seven people over the weekend
after Thanksgiving, who discussed "hitting" Los Angeles on New Year's Eve or New Year's Day, specifically targeting the subway in Los Angeles.

So, he actually never got around to the subway plot but did try to make his way to Syria to join an al Qaeda affiliate so bad, that even al Qaeda disowned them.

This guy reminds me a lot of Zach Chesser. Maybe it's the scraggly beard.

Any thoughts?

Posted by: Rusty at 12:19 PM


1 He's retarded?

Posted by: Howie at March 18, 2014 12:27 PM

2 Lousy sense of humor?

Posted by: Valerie at March 18, 2014 12:31 PM

3 Does medicinal marijuana cause delusions, or do you have to add something to it to get them?

Posted by: Valerie at March 18, 2014 12:33 PM


Posted by: Frak at March 18, 2014 12:42 PM

5 Good thing they stopped him....he might have been dangerous!
To somebody that is.

Posted by: obsidian at March 18, 2014 12:54 PM

6 I think it's pretty obvious he's a "nutcase Right-Winger Christianist"!
1.) He was in the National Guard, a haven for war-mongers, don'cha know?
2.) His name is TEA-USA-NT, which means TEA-Party, USA, New Testament!!
Based on this, we recommend our Holy god-king in DC, Barry 0Bama to arrest them all!1!

Posted by: The Media at March 18, 2014 01:11 PM

7 He could have been just stopped and questioned.
Then add files to his phone showing he is undercover CIA. Leak word to the terrorists in Syria he has Very rich parents and they hate moslimes.

Posted by: Kafiroon at March 18, 2014 01:12 PM

8 Maybe someone explain to me why "Funny Boys" love Islam so much?
I thought Mohammad tell followers to cut head off Peter Puffer.

Posted by: KIM at March 18, 2014 01:27 PM

9 Sorry this is OT but may be good:

Good news from Putin!? Doku umarov dead?

Posted by: Admiral Ackbar at March 18, 2014 02:04 PM

10 I'm glad we caught him because he revealed the existence of a new and dangerous terrorist organization, the Islamic State of Umm Kahrap. Umm Kahrap needs to be eliminated. We have to focus more attention and energies on Umm Kahrap to produce actionable items. After AQ proper, Umm Kahrap should be the #2 priority of the intelligence community.

Posted by: Tang at March 18, 2014 06:04 PM

11 Hates parents and getting even with them?
Didnt get enough attention or love from two mommies?
Stool holder??
Thinks it will lead to *fame* an bein sumbuddy instead of in reality to being bitch of Big Jimbo in prison?

Good to know that the National Guard has at least some standards, though it still might be pretty meager considering this tard.

Posted by: hillbongohuv at March 20, 2014 06:08 AM

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