Fatwa Friday Continued: Hunting the Green Birds of Paradise

Everyone knows that silver bullets kill werewolves, but these babies take care of those pesky green birds of paradise.

So how do you deal with religious extremists who believe that dying for their faith is an Express Ticket to Paradise? Killing them seems to just give them what they think they want. Only wounding them, as in this recent case, leaves the messy business of a public trial,

jihawg1.JPG
Its time to put some ham in Mohammad.

A company in northern Idaho has come up with a culturally sensitive approach. Jihawg Ammo has developed a proprietary system for infusing ballistic paint with pork. The special pork-infused paint is then applied to the bullets of loaded ammunition. The inclusion of pork in the paint makes the bullets haraam, or unclean. Under Islamic law, anyone who comes in contact with any haraam item is then unclean and must engage in a cleansing ritual. No unclean person can be admitted into Paradise. Do not pass Go. Do not collect 72 virgins.

Hat Tip: Media Matters. ;-)

Posted by: Howie at 01:01 PM

Comments

1 The old skool British Empire used a different approach. Their 17th century Puckle Gun (the first machine gun) was equipped with a choice of barrels. Regular for killing Christians and for "Turks", ones that fired a square bullet. I dont know why or how.But it was thought more fitting to use against Muslims.

Posted by: Axel at June 14, 2013 01:06 PM

2 Sorry, double load.

Posted by: Axel at June 14, 2013 01:08 PM

3 Lol @ MM comments. They think this is a serious item. They are all outraged and offended.

Posted by: DMartyr at June 14, 2013 01:10 PM

4 If your a Muslim and shot with one of these and die, you can't do the ritual, therefore no Heaven and no virgins. Sounds simple to me.

Posted by: Moshe Ben Avram at June 14, 2013 04:15 PM

5 Last time it was pork fat as the lubricant.

Posted by: Phil at June 14, 2013 04:21 PM

6
I want a bunch in 165 grain 30 caliber boat-tail!!!

Posted by: gDavid at June 14, 2013 04:53 PM

7 Once again, I must say I'm proud to be an Idahoan.

Posted by: MountainPatriot at June 14, 2013 07:59 PM

8 Pork fat pressed into a hollow point is a cheaper solution. And while you are at it etch a Christian cross on the jacket. And if you are really good with etching you can put on "In this sign I will conquer".

Posted by: faboutlaws at June 14, 2013 08:34 PM

9 I didn't get it until now about the pork ban but finally it dawned on me that he wanted to save it all for himself to tuck into in private. It's just a matter of enunciation to realise that Mo was Ham Mad.

Posted by: The Realist of Qld at June 14, 2013 08:40 PM

10 Gee that is just like the Bible.
"Nothing unclean will enter it (heaven) Rev 21:27 And the old testament forbids ham too.
Good thing that christians can sort of pick and choose from the Bible

Posted by: occam at June 15, 2013 11:13 AM

11 Sharpen your razor Occam, Christians are followers of the New Testament and Christ's teachings, not the Old Testament.

Posted by: The Realist of Qld at June 15, 2013 05:25 PM

12 If the US Gov is buying up gazillions of rounds of ammo, surely they can afford to pick up a few cases of these babies and get them to Afghanistan. Heck, the company may offer free shipping to that land of love.

Posted by: Neal5x5 at June 17, 2013 10:15 AM






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