Scary Black Umbrella Causes NJ Transit Shutdown


Someone had reported to police that a man wearing black pants, white dress shirt, with a cast on his arm was "armed with a long barrel assault weapon" had gotten on the train. [...]

Police started scouring surveillance videos and was able to track down the man at the Exchange Place station.

Apparently, they were able to determine that the only "weapon" the man had was the umbrella he planned to use later in the day to fight off rain from hitting him. (Source)

Obama and Democrats are convening to discuss possible new regulations to purchase "assault" umbrellas.

Jim Carrey tweets, "Any1 who would run out and buy a black umbrella has very little left in their body and soul worth keeping dry."

Matt Damon confesses umbrellas "freak me out."

Piers Morgan insists the Constitution does not protect the right to carry an umbrella.

Colorado Democrat Rep. Joe Salazar encourages use of safer cocktail umbrellas.

Joe Biden says its very suspicious that it rains whenever people use umbrellas.

Posted by: DMartyr at 01:16 PM


1 The citizens are frightened of their own shadow and report all things to the government so the Progressive plan is working. If this government wanted to burn books the poor little civilians would pile the streets with every sort of written material and submit to background checks so they could buy some matches. They are desperate to obey and be ruled. Bugger.

Posted by: Storm Saxon's Gall Bladder at May 24, 2013 03:28 PM

2 Remember how doctors slap women in the faces when tney get hysterical ??

Its gonna happen when libtards will be getting fists for their disruptive hysterics when America is thoroughly sick of their attention whoring ways.

Similarly the lefists and their islamic bedfellows who try to use these things intentionally need to get painful public executions for their endless attempt to break down normalcy for the rest of us.

Suddenly the wannabees who have had it so easy because of our pantywaste politicians (and the backlash should drive them out too) will all crawl back under their rocks where they belong.

Posted by: prentishale at May 24, 2013 03:36 PM

3 Funny. good comments on "public figures"....

Posted by: grego at May 24, 2013 06:21 PM

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