Dude, Don't Play With That

You'll shoot your penis off!


A security guard in the Brazilian town of Rio Claro arguably had the worst day ever after he reportedly shot his penis off with an illegal gun. To make matters worse, he also faces charges for illegal possession of a firearm.

Police found the 33-year-old man slumped over in the driverís seat of his car after a resident reported hearing gun shots. Police say the man was bleeding from his groin area when they arrived. The man was reportedly in possession of a .38 caliber handgun with four rounds of ammunition in his pocket.

Posted by: Stable Hand at 09:55 PM


1 natural selection is a wonderful thing...

we shouldn't get in its way anywhere near as much as we do.

Posted by: redc1c4 at January 23, 2013 10:09 PM

2 Greetings:

I've been watching a good bit of foreign TV lately and one of the things that kind of sticks in my mind is the way that they give an exact count of the number of bullets when a gun is involved in a crime. I saw a Chinese report recently that said the criminal had a pistol and nine bullets.

Posted by: 11B40 at January 23, 2013 11:13 PM

3 Wait, 38 specials are illegal in Brazil? Even for security guards in a country with a major kidnapping problem?

BTW, kidnapping for ransom is only a major problem in countries with gun control.

Posted by: You Have An Ugly Goat at January 23, 2013 11:19 PM

4 Is there a sub-set Darwin Award for killing any chance your sperm had by stupidity?

Posted by: Kafiroon at January 24, 2013 12:04 AM

5 Penis, huh? But he missed his brazil nutz, right? Tell me he missed his brazil nutz.

Posted by: EROWMER at January 24, 2013 12:13 AM

6 #4, actually I have heard of them giving Darwin rewards for serious injuries that left you alive, but unable to reproduce, since the idiot is still effectively removed from the jean pool.

Accidental gun injuries are most common when carrying a gun without a holster, or "Mexican Style" as it is often called. It is the favored technique of illegally carrying a gun, as you can ditch the gun quickly if needed, without leaving a holster as a give away that you ever had it on you.

Posted by: You Have An Ugly Goat at January 24, 2013 01:36 AM

7 Mexican style is also a great way to ditch your penis quickly, YHAUG....leaving little evidence that you ever had one.

Posted by: Herr Wilson at January 24, 2013 01:59 AM

8 This is what can be called a double whammy. Going to jail without a penis means that all action for you is only going one way....into your rectum.

Posted by: Arawak at January 24, 2013 05:49 AM

9 A dickhead who shot off his Johnson. Nice work sport.

Posted by: Moshe Ben Avram at January 24, 2013 07:38 AM

10 I like the story at the end about the guy in FL who shot off his dick "while cleaning it at a party".
Who HASN'T cleaned their gun in the middle of a party?

Posted by: Exador at January 24, 2013 08:11 AM

11 Ouch!
That happened to me on my 14th birthday. Hurts like hell.

Posted by: Rachael Maddow at January 24, 2013 11:50 AM

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