I read this story and it reminded me of someone. Hmmm... oh yeah. This guy.
Although, his bit from The Dice Man Cometh on the subject was funnier.
"The first thing I do in a movie theater is light up. There's always that couple that says 'oh look, he's smoking.' So I says 'yeah, and I'm jerking off too, come a little closer and I'll butter your f*cking popcorn, eh!"