Mars Warming Update: Polar Icecaps in Danger


For John Ryan.

Posted by: Good Lt. at 12:34 PM


1 This is what happens when we outsource are carbon credit industry to Martians. Stop Hallimartian and the Mar$ military industrial complex's neocon cabal plans for inter-planet hegemony. Thus spake Chomsky.

Posted by: wooga at April 30, 2007 01:44 PM

2 are= our. Dammit!

Posted by: wooga at April 30, 2007 01:44 PM

3 Since the increased solar activity is endangering the environment of both Earth and Mars I would like to offer my new Solar Offsets for only $19999.99. That's right only $19999.99 per 100 offset units.

For each offset we will either, paint one shingle on our roof white to reflect the offending radiation back into space or, if we raise enough money, we will launch the entire contents of the chad holder of the Sandcralwer's three hole punch into low earth orbit. These white reflective chads will circle the entire earth, again reflecting the offensive sunlight back into space.

What? you question if this will help any at all. Well, like al-Gore says, "You have to start somewhere."

So send in your 20gs today, our planet is to precious to wait.....

Howie's Moisture Farm, way ahead of the curve in solar offset technology.

Posted by: Howie at April 30, 2007 01:53 PM

4 You guys .... Geeez! Isn't the Sun just one big fusion reactor with practically infinite fuel for our projected needs? What we ned to do is figure out how to run electricity doen from the Sun to offset the carbon usage of the entire world! Of course ... carbon isn't really the issue. We learn this as science marches on. However, WE MUST NOT FORGET the feel good effect associated with totally carbon free solar/fusion energy. We can just ignore all the carbon usage required to link up wires to the Sun, and we can claim we are carbon free!And ... It's your patriotic duty to go without sunscreen, so you don't wast any precious energy.USA, all the way!

Posted by: Michael Weaver at April 30, 2007 02:25 PM

5 Um, the solar electricity wires will have to be able to 'bungee' as the Earth pursues it's eliptical orbit, so that could be expensive. Of course, if we embrace socialism, we could just make the wires extra strong, and force the Earth into total conformity with needs of society, and equalized solar energy distribution ... what good is all this variety in nature stuff anyway? USA, all the way!

Posted by: Michael Weaver at April 30, 2007 02:28 PM

6 We warned the Martians years ago thata rampant anduncontrolledincreasein harmful greenhouse gas emissions might cause this problem. However, they chose to ignore the truth and called it bad science and alarmist propaganda. Now the Martian polar bears will have no ice caps to live on and there will be a significantincrease in dust hurricane storms not to mention a dangerous rise in sand levels all across the planet. Hopefully, the Martians will act now to save their planet by buying more fuel efficent flying saucers, using alternative fuels and recycling more.

Posted by: DrTheopolis at April 30, 2007 02:32 PM

7 How about 10,000,000 giant solar operated freezer units at the north pole.

Posted by: greyrooster at April 30, 2007 02:44 PM

8 Then we can make some jello pudding pops...mmmmhmmmm...gyawww...

Posted by: DrTheoHuxtableopolis at April 30, 2007 03:25 PM

9 Its becuase MARVIN THE MARTIAN and K-9 have their own SUV and besides they need the water from the ice cap to power their ELUDIUM Q-38 EXPOSIVE SPACE MUDULATOR you see marvin wants to blow up the earth becuase it obstructs him view of venus and he also needs the water for all those intant martians SQUAWK SQUAWK

Posted by: sandpiper at April 30, 2007 04:04 PM

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