Iran Bans Pizza

Howienopizza.jpgWell not pizza exactly just the word. I'd like an 18 inch super deluxe elastic loaf with extra bacon and cheese.

Washington Post: TEHRAN, Iran -- Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad has ordered government and cultural bodies to use modified Persian words to replace foreign words that have crept into the language, such as "pizzas" which will now be known as "elastic loaves," state media reported.

The academy has introduced more than 2,000 words as alternatives for some of the foreign words that have become commonly used in Iran, mostly from Western languages. The government is less sensitive about Arabic words, because the Quran is written in Arabic.

Among other changes, a "chat" will become a "short talk" and a "cabin" will be renamed a "small room," according to official Web site of the academy.

A few others I think are common.

"Nuclear Bomb Fuel" will be renamed "The good stuff".

"Tryanny" shall be renamed "Freedom".

"Israel" shall be renamed "Extinct".

Posted by: Howie at 11:31 AM


1 I'll take some Canadian bacon, sausage, ham, pepperoni, salami with mine.

Everything but a Muslim squeal.

Posted by: Darth Vag at July 29, 2006 11:50 AM

2 I think I covered some of those in the super deluxe part. Damn now posting this made me hungry.

Lunch break!

Posted by: Howie at July 29, 2006 11:59 AM

3 What the Islamic republic won't tell you, are the words that Iranian patriots have for this filthy regime and its agents
Ahmadinezhad is also called "Antar" meaing Chimp, "Meymoon" meaning Monkey, and "1K" because this mother-f**ker has personally participated in murdering 1000 Iranian Partiots. Actually this parasites name means "of the race of Mohammad"; the arsehole is NOT even Iranian. He's a f**king Arab.

For "Islam", we say "Eshal" meaning diarrhoea. This is especially appropriate, since Islam is a an afflication of the soul.

Posted by: Garduneh Mehr at July 29, 2006 12:00 PM

4 So he's going to ban "foreign words" from the Persian language? That's great! I guess he's going to start with words like "Islam", "Qur'an", and "hizb-ullah", right?

Posted by: Asher Abrams at July 29, 2006 12:09 PM

5 Asher Abrams,
Actually one of the ways in which this Arabo-Islamic regime is engaged in erasing the identity of the Iranian people is their continuous attempt at diluting the Persian language with numerous superfluous Arabic admixtures. Discouraging the use of words from Western languages is part of their strategy at creating and widening a gap between Iranians and the westerners. Actually since Persian is an Indo-European/Indo-Aryan language, Western words fit in with its grammer more seamlessly than Arabic words.

Posted by: Garduneh Mehr at July 29, 2006 12:22 PM

6 No I know we need to move on Iran. It is irrefutable. No pizza?!

Curses Be Upon Him, Ahmadingleberry!

Posted by: Good Lt at July 29, 2006 12:24 PM

7 Good Lt.
Frankly your country would've done the whole world a huge favour by eliminating the threat of the Mullahs ruling Iran and their henchmen (including Hizbullah) before dealing with that arsehole Saddam.
Put another way, although eradicating the Baa'thist regime of Saddam was morally correct, in my opinion, it wasn't as immediately urgent as regime change in Iran. And if you guys ever do decide to take on the Mullahs, I'll be happy to serve alongside you. I'm probably too bloody old to serve in a combat capacity, but I can serve as an interpretter. As you can see my English ain't half bad.

Are really a lieutenant in the U.S military?

Posted by: Garduneh Mehr at July 29, 2006 12:43 PM

8 Jihad Fries.

Posted by: MiB at July 29, 2006 12:58 PM

9 Right, sadam wasn't so bad after all! Ok, on the Kurds he was a bad ass! Besides that the only thing he did was killing shiets and making war against Iran. And guess what we up against right now, Hezbollah and its big titti Iran! Ok, that’s in the past and still busy cleaning up the mess!

To think of it, the shiets were our friend during the first golf war. Ask senior! What happened?

Posted by: Dan at July 29, 2006 01:17 PM

10 What happened?

We screwed the poor basterds. Swartzkop wanted to push to Baghdad, but who called him back, right! It would have been to costly to do with those 500.000 soldiers instead of the 150.000 understaffed right now!

I really wonder what Senior is thinking, if he looks back on that decision!

Posted by: Dan at July 29, 2006 01:29 PM

11 I got some elastic loaf for ya Ahmadinejad.

Posted by: traderrob at July 29, 2006 01:32 PM

12 For ten days after the 1991 Gulf War, Iraq was rocked by true rebellion. Many Iraqi soldiers engaged in mass mutiny and deserted, showing they did not want to fight an imperialist war. Iraq was the center for secular working class insurrection against the forces of nationalism there. The Iraqi mutineers turned their guns on their masters, the Baath Party. Baath means revival of nationalism. In the Kurdish north, it is a mistake to assume that the insurgents there were all nationalists. After the Baath regime gassed Halabja, the Kurdish pershmerga militias were chased away from some of the refugee camps and some cities there. As in the Shiite south, The reason Bush Sr. let Saddam crush the uprising was because the U.S.A. could not control the rebellion, as the purpose for rebellions is to overthrow the government. The USA government, Saddam, the Kurdish nationalists, and all other capitalist forces were threatened by the rebellion, so they all made a short pact to quell class insurgency. Governments and capitalists of all stripes can not control rebellions, period. That is why they wage wars in the first place. So you see, wars can be ended by rebellion!

Posted by: anarchistmanifesto at July 29, 2006 02:33 PM

13 Bullshit! The reason why Bush Sr backed off was Collin Powell saw the highway of death and got all teary eyed over it and pushed Bush to end it.

Posted by: Barney Coppersmith at July 29, 2006 02:43 PM

14 "Tyranny shall be renamed Freedom" Howie, you actually hit the nail on the head with your post. Give yourself a pat on the back. Muslim fundamentalists are only capitalists in disguise. In terms of Iran, the working class there is so isolated from politics here in this country. Look, neither the USA government nor this "revolutionary" theocratic Tehran government cares about the people of Iran. Radical working class revolutionaries should have never joined forces with Ayatollah Khomeini and his covenant of religious clerics during the Iranian revolution of 1978-1979. After the Islamists were firmly seated in power, they turned on the Iranian grassroots cooperatives, or shoras. Lesson learned: never join forces with authoritarians, even you have a common authoritarian enemy. The enemy of an enemy is not always a friend.

Posted by: anarchistmanifesto at July 29, 2006 02:48 PM

15 Anarch....,
A commie by any other name is still a commie.
You pinkos have a great deal in common with Islamists; both groups want to turn the world into a hive where a self-appointed handful called respectively "the Party secretariate" or "the Califite" control every aspect of peoples lives from their beliefs all the way to the content their bread-baskets.
So, F**K YOU pinko commie b*tch. It ain't gonna happen.
Totalitarianism is doomed to extinction since freedom is the the natural state of man.
Recall your recent history you pinko b*tch:
a) Nazi'ism was dispatched to hell.
b) Japanese Shoganite was reduced to ashes.
c) Soviet Union disintegrated
d) The Ottoman Islamic Califite was shattered.
And I promise you, Islamism will be flushed down the toilet of history where it belongs.
The only reason you commies support the Islamofascists is to retaliate against the U.S. for having been largely responsible for the extinction of Stalinism of which a pathetic handful like you are the only relics.

Posted by: Garduneh Mehr at July 29, 2006 02:50 PM

16 You do have a point too, Barney Coppersmith; however, governments rarely support a grassroots uprising against rival governments. Your forgetting how radical rebellions can be. There's a difference between a war and a rebellion you know. There are mutinies in all wars Barney, just on different scales. There was the massive French mutiny in 68 divisions in WW1. Look at the Vietnam War too. There were 209 fraggings in 1970 alone. Of course, that was back in the day when the country was smoldering with street revolts.

Posted by: anarchistmanifesto at July 29, 2006 03:00 PM

17 Don't you understand Garduneh Mehr? Do you not recall the repression of Kronstadt? Do you know who Nestor Mahkno was? Anarchists were massacred in many of the revolutions where Marxist-Leninists took over, including the Soviet Union. I despise all authoritarians, regardless of their political stripes. What part dont you understand Jawas? Quit slandering me by equating me with dictators. Why be on the same side with dictators in the first place? Remember the Knight of the Long Knives, or the Stalinist Purges of Trotskyists? Dictators do not want to share the world with anyone. That is why they always purge their own people. Sheesh.

Posted by: anarchistmanifesto at July 29, 2006 03:11 PM

18 Don't you understand Garduneh Mehr? Do you not recall the repression of Kronstadt? Do you know who Nestor Mahkno was? Anarchists were massacred in many of the revolutions where Marxist-Leninists took over, including the Soviet Union. I despise all authoritarians, regardless of their political stripes. What part dont you understand Jawas? Quit slandering me by equating me with dictators. Why be on the same side with dictators in the first place? Remember the Night of the Long Knives, or the Stalinist Purges of Trotskyists? Dictators do not want to share the world with anyone. That is why they always purge their own people. Sheesh.

Posted by: anarchistmanifesto at July 29, 2006 03:11 PM

19 Anar....
I assure you the advice of "by their fruits ye shall know them ... A good tree cannot bring forth evil fruit, neither can a corrupt tree bring forth good fruit" has always stood me in good stead. And for this reason it is as easy for me to see through your inane ramblings as it is to recognize Islmaic "Taqqiyah" (the deception that Muslimes are required to engage in much as you do with you pinko'ism).
You're NOTHING more than a sore loser pinko so shut the f**k up and get out.

Posted by: Garduneh Mehr at July 29, 2006 03:29 PM

20 Gees you guys are taking this way too serious.

Posted by: Howie at July 29, 2006 03:32 PM

21 You are mixed up with ideologies, Garduneh Mehr. First of all, the Islamists hate socialism and nationalism. Second, anarchists oppose Stalinism because Stalinism is just state capitalism, like Islamic fundamentalism. Third, anarchists oppose war. Fourth, I criticize all dictators, including ours. Furthermore, if all of you like war so much, go to Somalia, the Congo, or Columbia. Finally, you just do not scare me. Your slanders are too cliche. Work on new ones. Well, I'll be back sometime and blog some more. In the mean time, the Jawa Report needs to talk about other more taboo issues to spice things up because it is losing its touch.

Posted by: anarchistmanifesto at July 29, 2006 03:33 PM

22 Howie,
Yup you're right! Talking to a pinko, a commie, a Muslime, an anti-semite and any fanatic is like trying to have a conversation with a bloody tape-recorder. Ridiculing them and laughing at their lunacy is perhaps the most entertaining course of action.

Sorry, I didn't mean to take up too much space in the comments.

Posted by: Garduneh Mehr at July 29, 2006 03:48 PM

23 anarchistmanifesto: you say "Anarchists were massacred" as if anarchists are an organized political group, or something.

Do you not have a shred of logic in you?

Anarchy = a lack of order, confusion. In order for you to indulge yourself you are undoubtedly a.) a student with an allowance - have fun while you can b.) the recipient of a trust fund - you lucky dog or c.) French.

So which is it, mon petit? Remember that wonderful romantic, Leo Ferre? He had fame and money (...en dix mille ans!) while his stupid fans self-destructed around him. He was talented, though.

Posted by: Heroic Dreamer at July 29, 2006 04:02 PM

24 Where were you all guys when Americans renamed "French fries" to "Freedom fries"?. So in nutshell if USA does the same it is good if others do then beat the hell out of them. Wow. Hypocracy thy name is America!!!.

Posted by: Gurmit Singh at July 29, 2006 05:05 PM

25 Garduneh Mehr, dictators do not always join forces with one another. Why do you think the terrorist Abu Nidal committed "suicide"? Because Saddam saw him as a threat to his power, and so he ordered him to be assassinated.
The government's enemies can not join forces because they are too segregated by ideology. Herioc Dreamer, anarchists are organized. Just because in school you were not taught about the anarchist movement does not mean that they were unorganized. I'll tell you about one of my favorite anarchists: Nestor Makhno. You see, Nestor was besieged by a variety of enemies: the Russian White Army, the Ukraine nationalists, and the Bolsheviks. The peasant insurgents he organized actually won some clashes with those forces. Unfortunately, they were defeated by the Bolsheviks. If none of you believe that then go to the Nestor Makhno Archive.
Sorry Heroic Dreamer, I am not French. They treat the Algerian immigrants as bad as they treat Jews. It is not easy being the only one that thinks differently here. Actually debating different thoughts is what blogs should be about, not segregating themselves. Isn't that what controversy is all about? Facing ideas in sharp contrast to yours? I think I will take some time off from this blog. Trying to spread some political diversity by yourself is no easy task, especially if the whole blog is against you. Oh well, I think I'll pursue my studies at college. One more think, not all anarchists are white, ok? Peace out.

Posted by: anarchistmanifesto at July 29, 2006 05:10 PM

26 You don't get it. It's fun to screw with the French.

Posted by: Howie at July 29, 2006 06:08 PM

27 HA HA - anarchist - you're a college student - I was right.
Only a college student would try to argue that anarchists are organized.

You need to locate your common sense. I'm sure it's in there somewhere.

Word of advice: don't follow someone just because they're charismatic. I knew a few French "anarchists" - art and literature students - ended up taking drugs. romantic. self-destructive. idiotic. waste of time.

Posted by: Heroic Dreamer at July 29, 2006 06:52 PM

28 anarchrist - the Afghan Northern Alliance may disagree with you.

Posted by: Barney Coppersmith at July 29, 2006 07:45 PM

29 The difference with the "Freedom Fries example Gurmit is it wasn't an edict from the government by penalty of getting ones Nads removed if violated.

Posted by: traderrob at July 29, 2006 08:09 PM

30 New Iranian Words just in.

A sheep will be a "cock glove"
A boy will be a "pin cushion"
A butt plug will be a "rectal buddy"
And a 4 inch dildo will be a "by Allah why is it twice as big as ours"

Posted by: Randman at July 30, 2006 02:17 AM

31 Why so much animosity just because a nation wants to keep its language free from foreign words? Are we all going to give up our languages and speak foreign one day? Don’t French and Japanese and Chinese do the same thing and have local words for foreign words? I am 100% behind the concept as long as the recommended alternatives are practical and make sense. I am not sure about “Small Room” as an alternative for cabin!
God bless Iran.

Posted by: Kiumars at July 30, 2006 08:30 AM

32 Garduneh Mehr
Why people give wrong email address here? My email to Garduneh Mehr bounced because the email address does not exist! That says a lot about the person who even has not got the ball to give an email address! We cannot find you by your email address don’t worry!

Posted by: Kiumars at July 30, 2006 08:47 AM

33 Kiumars - Anything your little goat cock sucking mouth needs to say to anyone here should be posted here - understand asshole?

Who the fuck wants to trade e-mails with your stank muzzie ass? I bet you're an expert on not having balls.

Posted by: Barney Coppersmith at July 30, 2006 09:03 AM

34 The most damaging foreign influence in Iran has been the filthy demonic pseudo-religion of the Arab barbarian and his ugly language.
And if you are an Arab-worshipping Muslime, as I suspect you are, then you are definitely a traitor, likely a terrorist sympathizer, and possibly a terrorist yourself.
Mecca and Medina must be nuked NOW

Posted by: Garduneh Mehr at July 30, 2006 09:10 AM

35 Thanks Barney Coppersmith,
I suspect this "Kiumars" guy is most likely an agent of the Islamic Regime ruling Iran. The Mullahs have a well-funded well-oiled propaganda machine. They spend around 1 billion U.S. dollars every year on Muslime propaganda in the U.S. alone; one facet of this propaganda is to pollute the media including the internet and radio/TV talk-shows etc etc.
F**k Islam and those who follow it.

Posted by: Garduneh Mehr at July 30, 2006 09:19 AM

36 pedagogyfilter/enabled

Posted by: Last gasp Larry at July 30, 2006 10:06 PM

37 Warms the heart to see the Mad Hatter in such a dither! Gee! I hope we havn't pissed him off too much! /sarcasm/allow

Posted by: Last gasp Larry at July 30, 2006 10:09 PM

38 Look! Mad Hatter is using the pointed fingerrestrained by thumb technique as introduced by Bill Clinton and further developed by Rummy Rumsfeld! Sure to be a success!

Posted by: Last gasp Larry at July 31, 2006 11:13 AM

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