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Theses on "Woke"


stop oppression.jpg
Some "Woke" Gals


13 I'm not up on the current "hip kid lingo", so what exactly does "woke" mean?

It sounds stupid, so I am guessing it is not something achieved by hard work and discipline.

Posted by: moki at March 09, 2017 02:22 PM

1. "Woke" is pretty much the same as what the old-time Marxists called "class consciousness", i.e knowing that the human race is divided by economic class and that the "proletariat" class needs to overthrow the "bourgeois" class in order to establish the epitome of human perfection, the world-wide communist state.

2. The Marxists also had a term they called "false consciousness." I think it means something like this: you know what "class consciousness" is but you reject it, because you know it's bullcrap.

3. I once heard erg use this term to describe ace.

4. Don't know if there is any comparable term like "false woke". Maybe sleepwalking?

5. Anyway, the point is, "woke" is a concept that was basically lifted from rat bastard commies.

6. Eventually, as blue vs. blue conflict increases, we're going to start seeing "woke fights."

7. They won't be called that, but that's what they are.

8. At some point, the various factions of woke will start making distinctions between "woke" and "woke woke."

9. And these woke groups will be all "woker than thou" to each other

10. To a "woke" person, the only thing worse than not being "woke" is being "woke", but insufficiently "woke."

11. These blue-on-blue slap fights will be hilarous to watch.

12. Even better with popcorn

13. "Woke" is just a way for the in-group kids to communicate their bona fides to other in-group kids and to signal the exclusion of the out-group kids they don't want to let in to the in-group.

14. Yes, we're all living in one big high school now.

15. And "woke" people don't like the new principal.

16. By the way, this is all thanks to progressive politics.

17. A "woke" person's life is consumed by progressive politics, 100% of the time.

18. For example, when he takes a dump, the "woke" guy worries that his poo is opressive to women.

18a. i.e. fart rape.

19. I would not be surprised if they did a survey of "woke" people and discovered above-average rates of mental illness.

20. The opposite of "woke" is normal. That is, if you're not "woke", that means you're a normal person living a normal life.

21. The founding fathers would not have considered "woke" to be an especial virtue.

22. Even if it was their kind of "woke", and not the progressive kind, which they undoubtedly would think was lunacy.

23. The government they implemented is designed to function without everyone having to be "woke."

24. And that's a major selling point of the American system.

25. You know who else was "woke"? Hitler.

26. Also Stalin. And Mao.

27. You don't have to work hard or achieve anything in order to be "woke".

28. You just have to have the proper attitude about things progressives care about.

29. For example, Anita Sarkesian's "wokeness" is what got her on Twitter's Committee For Public Safety where she helps decide who gets censored and who gets banned.

30. In other words, being a "woke" internet loudmouth was pretty much her only qualification.

31. "Woke" people tend to be very adept at this, i.e. worming their way into positions of decision-making authority.

32. Telling normal people what to do is what "woke" people like doing best.

33. And normal people just want to be left alone.

34. But what not many normal people understand is that while they may not be interested in "woke", "woke" is very interested in them.

Posted by: OregonMuse at 11:40 AM




Comments

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1 FIRST

Posted by: fixerupper at March 10, 2017 11:39 AM (8XRCm)

2
Muhahahaha

Posted by: fixerupper at March 10, 2017 11:39 AM (8XRCm)

3
Wait.. wut?

Posted by: fixerupper at March 10, 2017 11:39 AM (8XRCm)

4 May they all Woke-Off.

Posted by: Anna Puma at March 10, 2017 11:39 AM (29TTH)

5
Did I miss the Rapture???

Posted by: fixerupper at March 10, 2017 11:40 AM (8XRCm)

6 I don't want to be woke. Give me 10 more minutes in bed.

Posted by: joe, living dangerously at March 10, 2017 11:40 AM (KUaJL)

7 I'm not up on the current "hip kid lingo", so what exactly does "woke" mean?

"Woke" is the adjective form of "wake" ... as in a funeral.

Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair at March 10, 2017 11:40 AM (zc3Db)

8
Me and Anna are the last humans alive on the planet.

Posted by: fixerupper at March 10, 2017 11:40 AM (8XRCm)

9 I woke up early today. Does that mean I'm down with the struggle?

Posted by: #neverskankles at March 10, 2017 11:40 AM (iI2Iz)

10 People using the word "woke" in the above-referenced fashion spends a night in the box.

Posted by: Insomniac - sin valor at March 10, 2017 11:40 AM (0mRoj)

11 Have you been listening to Fab Five Freddy again?

https://youtu.be/pHCdS7O248g

Posted by: Anna Puma at March 10, 2017 11:41 AM (29TTH)

12 Fart rape is like toe rape.

Posted by: Dick Morris at March 10, 2017 11:41 AM (X+rUO)

13 Woke = if you are white you tell everyone you can what detestable piece of shit you are for having made the mistake of existing in the first place.

Posted by: Max Power at March 10, 2017 11:41 AM (q177U)

14 TL DR

Posted by: steevy at March 10, 2017 11:42 AM (r/0kC)

15
I hate the term "woke".

And "totes". Hate it with a passion.

Posted by: fixerupper at March 10, 2017 11:42 AM (8XRCm)

16 Woke Men? Please go back to sleep...

Posted by: It's me donna at March 10, 2017 11:42 AM (O2RFr)

17 Classic, Ace!

The NYT "truth" ads need to be rewritten to replace "truth" --> "woke"

Posted by: Lizzy at March 10, 2017 11:42 AM (NOIQH)

18 I'd be more inclined to listen to those people if they would use the more proper "awakened" to describe themselves....




Well, actually, that's a lie. They're a bunch of assholes and I'd just as soon punch their mishes and dicks off then even look at 'em.....

Posted by: SSBN 656 (G) at March 10, 2017 11:43 AM (jjaLl)

19 Its "awakened" -- with the frisson of a streety, ebonic-esque locution.

Posted by: xnycpeasant and literally a grammar nazi at March 10, 2017 11:43 AM (QtQaN)

20 best poat evah

Posted by: Pendejo at March 10, 2017 11:43 AM (yKJ+U)

21 Woke Men? Please go back to sleep...

Posted by: It's me donna at March 10, 2017 11:42 AM (O2RFr)


Hey, now!

Posted by: Herman Woke at March 10, 2017 11:43 AM (zc3Db)

22 >>Eventually, as blue vs. blue conflict increases, we're going to start seeing "woke fights."

We already are. Look at all the black BLM supporters telling the white BLM supporters they need to shut up and check their privilege because they don't know what it means to be black.

This is the inevitable end of identity politics.

Posted by: JackStraw at March 10, 2017 11:43 AM (/tuJf)

23 First world problem.

Posted by: Malik at March 10, 2017 11:43 AM (X+rUO)

24 The 34 Theses

Posted by: bluebell at March 10, 2017 11:43 AM (sBOL1)

25 4. Don't know if there is any comparable term like "false woke". Maybe sleepwalking?
----------

Faux Woke?

Sounds like an Asian dish, or perhaps a name.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at March 10, 2017 11:44 AM (ZO497)

26 >>These blue-on-blue slap fights will be hilarous to watch.



Oh, yeah, have already seen this with some guy attempting to be woke about the women's march and being slapped down by feminists, or some white person attempting to display "wokeness" about #BLM and being told to SDASTFU, whiteboy!

Posted by: Lizzy at March 10, 2017 11:44 AM (NOIQH)

27 Feeling woker that woke today

Posted by: Blanco at March 10, 2017 11:44 AM (tGBt6)

28 Woke-a woke-a

Posted by: Fozzie Bear at March 10, 2017 11:44 AM (IqV8l)

29 For example, a "woke" woman is one who sees Wonder Woman not as a strong woman superhero, but as a fetishistic male sex object who is beholden to the patriarchy and is complicit in not only her own oppression, but the oppression of all women.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Assault Hobbit & Vaginassassin, aka Beth at March 03, 2017 12:36 PM [/ at March 10, 2017 11:44 AM (4df7R)

30 Rule 34 in reference to 'Woke'?

Posted by: Blanco at March 10, 2017 11:45 AM (tGBt6)

31 When I was a kid "woke" was a general past tense term for wake. IOW "He woke up when the bed crashed".

Posted by: Vic We Have No Party at March 10, 2017 11:45 AM (mpXpK)

32 Fake Asian? Talcum X is now Asian? Or Dozeal?

Posted by: Anna Puma at March 10, 2017 11:45 AM (29TTH)

33 Well done, OregonMuse.

So "woke" is an actual social construct ...

Posted by: ShainS at March 10, 2017 11:45 AM (mt8X9)

34 TIL that Fart Rape is a thing. Also, that's it's essentially on par with Men Exist Rape.

The more you know.

Posted by: adc at March 10, 2017 11:45 AM (wz420)

35 >>Don't know if there is any comparable term like "false woke".


"ignorant"

That applies to anyone who is not woke, or who thinks they are woke and is rejected.

Posted by: Lizzy at March 10, 2017 11:45 AM (NOIQH)

36 Woke means being brainwashed by progressive ideology.

Posted by: Insomniac - sin valor at March 10, 2017 11:45 AM (0mRoj)

37 Funny they call it woke because they're living in a day dream.

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks. Now worse than Hitler! at March 10, 2017 11:45 AM (Nwg0u)

38 You know where people don't use the term woke? In the slums of Rio or Calcutta. That's cuz they're busy getting through the day withoutbstarving.

Posted by: #neverskankles at March 10, 2017 11:45 AM (iI2Iz)

39 And "woke" implies that one's commie-identity politics are simply an observation of organic reality, to be taken in as a singular truth. So of course it's manipulative as sh*t.

Posted by: xnycpeasant and literally a grammar nazi at March 10, 2017 11:45 AM (QtQaN)

40 Oops - Sorry, OM, assumed this was written by Ace.
Guess I am waaay not woke

Posted by: Lizzy at March 10, 2017 11:46 AM (NOIQH)

41 Hmm. How about 'bewoke', or 'bewoken'.

"I bewoke the dog, and took her for a walk."

Movie title: "The Unbewoken"

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at March 10, 2017 11:46 AM (ZO497)

42 Screaming, "triggered" nutcases on college campuses are "woke."

Posted by: Insomniac - sin valor at March 10, 2017 11:46 AM (0mRoj)

43 So.....I'd be more woke if I had a pussy? And a grill for my teef? Am I getting teh hang of this yet?

Posted by: Pendejo at March 10, 2017 11:46 AM (yKJ+U)

44 All the kids at 4chan use "red pilled."

/be careful if you go there. it's a strange place...

Posted by: shibumi at March 10, 2017 11:46 AM (J5mC3)

45 Woka woka

- Fozzie Bear

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks. Now worse than Hitler! at March 10, 2017 11:47 AM (Nwg0u)

46 Telling normal people what to do is what "woke" people like doing best.

Wannabe dominatrixes, then, who are too fugly for the job?

Posted by: Mary Poppins' Practically Perfect Piercing at March 10, 2017 11:47 AM (X6fMO)

47

I fear all we have done is to woke a sleeping giant and fill him with a terrible resolve.

Posted by: Isoroku Yamamoto at March 10, 2017 11:47 AM (IqV8l)

48 40 Oops - Sorry, OM, assumed this was written by Ace.
Guess I am waaay not woke
Posted by: Lizzy at March 10, 2017 11:46 AM (NOIQH)

Can't spell Ewok without woke.

Posted by: Insomniac - sin valor at March 10, 2017 11:47 AM (0mRoj)

49 Sorry, I don't speak hood rat, no matter how many 17 year old suburban white girls make it sound mainstream.

Posted by: IP at March 10, 2017 11:47 AM (yV4wg)

50
Big Chinese pan. Two handles.




Posted by: Mortimer - FINISH HER ! at March 10, 2017 11:47 AM (/hasf)

51
And "totes". Hate it with a passion.

Posted by: fixerupper at March 10, 2017 11:42 AM (8XRCm)

Yeah, "totes" is horrible. I love using it to make fun of just how idiotic it is, though.

I'm woke like that, dog.

Posted by: Moron Robbie at March 10, 2017 11:47 AM (/f1mm)

52 I awoke this morning to a raging Schadenboner.

Posted by: Under Fire at March 10, 2017 11:47 AM (X+rUO)

53 So, Hollywood is "woke."

Ponder this for a moment, folks.

Posted by: Circa (Insert Year Here) at March 10, 2017 11:47 AM (B+qrE)

54 So the two women in that photo are being oppressed because they're walking by not just one, but two manholes?

Posted by: ShainS at March 10, 2017 11:47 AM (mt8X9)

55 Very amusing post. Each line numbered just like in the Bible.

Loved #30, delightful. Loved 'em all, really. (((OM)))

Posted by: Miley, the Duchess at March 10, 2017 11:47 AM (tHwdc)

56
Oh.

And "throw shade". Cant stand that one either.

Posted by: fixerupper at March 10, 2017 11:47 AM (8XRCm)

57 When I toke I become woke.

Posted by: #neverskankles at March 10, 2017 11:47 AM (iI2Iz)

58 Moar Winning, a new oil field has been found in Alaska. About 1.2 billion barrels. Even Carl Sagan would have to admit that is a big deal.

Posted by: Anna Puma at March 10, 2017 11:47 AM (29TTH)

59 44 All the kids at 4chan use "red pilled."

/be careful if you go there. it's a strange place...

Posted by: shibumi at March 10, 2017 11:46 AM (J5mC3)

Red pilled =|= "woke"

Posted by: Insomniac - sin valor at March 10, 2017 11:48 AM (0mRoj)

60
"ignorant"

That applies to anyone who is not woke, or who thinks they are woke and is rejected.


Posted by: Lizzy at March 10, 2017 11:45 AM (NOIQH)


But in keeping with the pop cultural linguistic nature of "woke," it would be pronounced "ig'nant."

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Assault Hobbit & Vaginassassin, aka Beth at March 03, 2017 12:36 PM [/ at March 10, 2017 11:48 AM (4df7R)

61 35. No matter how "woke" you think you are, it will never. ever. be. enough.

CoverGirl's first male spokesmodel angers Twitter with insensitive Africa tweet

Posted by: Nathan R. Jessup at March 10, 2017 11:48 AM (TixTl)

62 Bathe them.
Perfume them.

Have them sent to my tent.

Posted by: garrett at March 10, 2017 11:48 AM (+VANB)

63 Quoke.

Posted by: Moron Robbie at March 10, 2017 11:48 AM (/f1mm)

64 Translation: "Woke" is the word white liberals use to mean "I'm not a racist even though I think you black people need to be cordoned off and led around."

Posted by: joncelli, Longbow Afficianado and Phalangist at March 10, 2017 11:48 AM (RD7QR)

65 15
I hate the term "woke".

And "totes". Hate it with a passion.
Posted by: fixerupper at March 10, 2017 11:42 AM (8XRCm)

We should be besties!

Posted by: Insomniac - sin valor at March 10, 2017 11:49 AM (0mRoj)

66 Check my privilege?
Like on a coatrack for a ticket?

Posted by: Old drunk lady at March 10, 2017 11:49 AM (QtQaN)

67 Or maybe two Ks.

I'm quokke, yo.

Posted by: Moron Robbie at March 10, 2017 11:49 AM (/f1mm)

68 Also I would oppress Miss Coach purse on the left like a broken screen door.

Posted by: Mortimer - FINISH HER ! at March 10, 2017 11:49 AM (/hasf)

69 I don't want to be woke. Give me 10 more minutes in bed.

Posted by: joe, living dangerously at March 10, 2017 11:40 AM (KUaJL)

6 rounds of snooze button this morning.

Posted by: Miley, the Duchess at March 10, 2017 11:49 AM (tHwdc)

70 I just had to check...and it is glorious.

WOKE is a radio station in Garrison, Kentucky.

It plays southern gospel music.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Posted by: Circa (Insert Year Here) at March 10, 2017 11:49 AM (B+qrE)

71 And "totes". Hate it with a passion.

Posted by: fixerupper at March 10, 2017 11:42 AM (8XRCm)

Yeah, "totes" is horrible. I love using it to make fun of just how idiotic it is, though.

I'm woke like that, dog.
Posted by: Moron Robbie
-----------------

Totes woke.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at March 10, 2017 11:49 AM (NBHj5)

72 I was woke to fart rape by a fart tube.

Posted by: Mary C. from Brattleboro at March 10, 2017 11:49 AM (vtcmf)

73 I have a question for some of the 'ettes on this fine blog.

As a 'woke' supporter, is it possible to get a pink crocheted headcovering with both cat ears and a 'pouch' behind it that fits my man bun?

It would make dressing appropriately so much more comfortable while I'm out actively supporting the cause, and, incidentally, hoping to impress some ladies.

Posted by: J. Random Woke at March 10, 2017 11:49 AM (DMUuz)

74
I presume that the feminists and their ilk live in a fictional reality, as opposed to the sane people.

Is this a correct presumption on my part?

Posted by: irongrampa at March 10, 2017 11:50 AM (X35Yt)

75 Speaking of gender as a 'social construct,' this heart-breaking story refutes that.

https://www.amazon.com/As-Nature-Made-Him-Raised/dp/0061120561

Posted by: Anna Puma at March 10, 2017 11:50 AM (29TTH)

76 "Quoke"

Loves that game, had a job where we played it after work. Even made our own levels and custom weapons. The incindiary grenade was a blast.

Posted by: Robert Crawford at March 10, 2017 11:50 AM (QddDi)

77 Woke is a different tense of "awake".

As in the standard nut job insistence that everyone else is "asleep" and only he is awake to reality.

Posted by: wooga at March 10, 2017 11:50 AM (3I7wr)

78 Can woke be up talked.?
He's like woke??

Posted by: Under Fire at March 10, 2017 11:50 AM (X+rUO)

79 Woke up.
Got outta bed.
Dragged a cracker by the hair.

- John Lennon

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks. Now worse than Hitler! at March 10, 2017 11:50 AM (Nwg0u)

80 "Woke" can be cured. Percussive brain therapy with a lead-filled sap usually will put them right back into blissful sleep.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at March 10, 2017 11:50 AM (WDdjT)

81 >>Red pilled =|= "woke"


Yup - polar opposites.

Woke = Integrated with the progressive hive
Red-pilled = Become aware of the progressive hive and choosing to detach from it

Posted by: Lizzy at March 10, 2017 11:51 AM (NOIQH)

82 If Johann Sebastian Bach had scrapped the Saint Matthew Passion for an oratorio about Joan of Arc, would he have been woke in the Baroque?

Posted by: Mary Poppins' Practically Perfect Piercing at March 10, 2017 11:51 AM (X6fMO)

83 Now everybody, have you heard, if you're in the game
Then then WOKES the word
Don't take no rhythm....
Don't take no style...
Gotta thirst for killin.....
Grab your vial huh.

Put your right hand out, give a firm handshake
Talk to me about that one big break
Spread your ear pollution, both far and wide
Keep your contributions by your side

and WOKE me, WOKE me
Could be a winner boy you move mighty well
Woke me, Woke me ...WOKE
Woke me, Woke me
You got your number down
Woke me, Woke me
Say you're a winner but babe, you're just a sinner now

Posted by: fixerupper at March 10, 2017 11:51 AM (8XRCm)

84 Most of the woke also toke that smoke.



Jim
Sunk New Dawn
Galveston, TX

Posted by: Jim at March 10, 2017 11:51 AM (v5iqM)

85 "Woke" is "Class Consciousness, Intersectionality Edition."

Then you have to explain Intersectionality, which is "Marxism, Even More Factionalized Edition."

Actually, it's technically the "Factions Work Together Edition," but that's not what *actually* happens.

Posted by: Merovign, Dark Lord of the Sith at March 10, 2017 11:51 AM (wB8Tg)

86
Another name for it is "enlightened". Which probably annoys me even more than "woke".

PalinSteele used "enlightened" fairly often as well. Which is probably why the word pisses me off so much.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at March 10, 2017 11:51 AM (XWkhW)

87
Woke = Doubleplusgoodthink

Posted by: Mortimer - FINISH HER ! at March 10, 2017 11:51 AM (/hasf)

88 I happen to be a white male, so I guess for me, "woke" means being aware that I was born on third base, but nevertheless, I am incapable of thinking anything other than that I hit a triple.

And knowing that I am part of a rightfully despised class, and that essentially everyone in the world is my better other than similarly detested white males.

Now, after we finish the calisthenics and the three minute hate, may I go back to work?

Posted by: RM at March 10, 2017 11:51 AM (U3LtS)

89
And "throw shade". Cant stand that one either.

Posted by: fixerupper at March 10, 2017 11:47 AM (8XRCm)

I would charge handsome sums of money if I could will shade upon people. Imagine how much more pleasant you could make sporting events and craft festivals.

The NFL alone would probably make you a multimillionaire in the first year. If not, providing shade for college athletes would be a very lucrative service, too.

Posted by: Moron Robbie at March 10, 2017 11:51 AM (/f1mm)

90 "Woke" is the thing that kids in 40 years or so will all laugh and make fun of.

Kind of like "groovy" or "far out, man!"

Posted by: Tom Servo at March 10, 2017 11:51 AM (KeRkT)

91 Moar Winning, a new oil field has been found in Alaska. About 1.2 billion barrels. Even Carl Sagan would have to admit that is a big deal.

Posted by: Anna Puma at March 10, 2017 11:47 AM (29TTH)


Billions and billions...

Posted by: OregonMuse, deplorable since 2004 at March 10, 2017 11:52 AM (Ms8OA)

92 "fart rape" sounds like one of those weird foreign food products from eastern europe where those two words are totally innocuous in the native language, but look funny in english.

Or possibly one of those Engrish translations on the Chinese menu kind of deals.

Posted by: Warai-otoko at March 10, 2017 11:52 AM (sK2fh)

93 Whatever happened to Up-Twinkles?

Posted by: garrett at March 10, 2017 11:52 AM (+VANB)

94 76 "Quoke"

Loves that game, had a job where we played it after work. Even made our own levels and custom weapons. The incindiary grenade was a blast.

Posted by: Robert Crawford at March 10, 2017 11:50 AM (QddDi)

That was the one where you flew around on the ostrich and tried to bop the other ostrich-riders on the head, right?

Posted by: Moron Robbie at March 10, 2017 11:52 AM (/f1mm)

95 *waves to Merovign*

Marxism is about grinding the little gears into powder so the big wheels can live like lords.

Posted by: Anna Puma at March 10, 2017 11:52 AM (29TTH)

96 FATHER! THE SLEEPER IS WOKE!!!

Posted by: Paul Mod Dib at March 10, 2017 11:53 AM (KeRkT)

97 I never trust anyone who declares he is awake (or "woke") and everyone else is asleep. The reality is not that the general public is asleep and only you are awake. The reality is that the general public doesn't care about the same things you do.

I.e., I'm not "woke" to the 10th Amendment. I'm resigned to the fact that nobody else gives a shit about it.

Posted by: wooga at March 10, 2017 11:53 AM (3I7wr)

98 Their bwains be bwoke.

Posted by: irright at March 10, 2017 11:53 AM (pMGkg)

99 "That was the one where you flew around on the ostrich and tried to bop the other ostrich-riders on the head, right?"

I thought that was "Loused".

Posted by: Robert Crawford at March 10, 2017 11:53 AM (QddDi)

100 I remember when fart rape was called a dutch oven.

Posted by: Mary C. from Brattleboro at March 10, 2017 11:53 AM (vtcmf)

101 Moar Winning, a new oil field has been found in Alaska. About 1.2 billion barrels.

Saudi dude on line one.

He sounds upset.

Posted by: Circa (Insert Year Here) at March 10, 2017 11:53 AM (B+qrE)

102

Then I awoke
Was this some kind of joke
Much to my surprise
I opened my eyes.

Posted by: In Another Land at March 10, 2017 11:53 AM (IqV8l)

103 Can't spell Ewok without woke.
Posted by: Insomniac
--------

That is quite possibly the Thread Winner.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at March 10, 2017 11:53 AM (ZO497)

104 >>And "throw shade". Cant stand that one either.



Also: "bae"

Posted by: Lizzy at March 10, 2017 11:54 AM (NOIQH)

105 Community Organizer yelling as Xir's Identity Monster tears the lab apart. "What do you mean I put an abnormal brain in my beautiful monster!"

Posted by: Anna Puma at March 10, 2017 11:54 AM (29TTH)

106 "Woke" can be cured. Percussive brain therapy with a lead-filled sap usually will put them right back into blissful sleep.
Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at March 10, 2017 11:50 AM (WDdjT)


Down here we call that a "hickory shampoo".

Posted by: OregonMuse, deplorable since 2004 at March 10, 2017 11:54 AM (Ms8OA)

107 So... still not sure what Woke is...

or is it just a virtue signal thing, where you are the most Progressed Progressive?

Like... a Commisar was to the Communists?

Posted by: Don Q.... at March 10, 2017 11:55 AM (NgKpN)

108 >>>"That was the one where you flew around on the ostrich and tried to bop the other ostrich-riders on the head, right?"



Believe that was Joust...... good game, so was Defender and Robotron

Posted by: SSBN 656 (G) at March 10, 2017 11:55 AM (jjaLl)

109 Also: "bae"

I don't know what this is.

Posted by: Circa (Insert Year Here) at March 10, 2017 11:55 AM (B+qrE)

110 It's all a bunch of Gnostic shit in the end.

Posted by: Brother Cavil at March 10, 2017 11:55 AM (V1M8q)

111 This new Woke is gonna fail and people will be begging for me.

Posted by: Classic Woke at March 10, 2017 11:55 AM (W6Ch1)

112
Woke up big this Chelsea morning

Posted by: Joni Mitchell at March 10, 2017 11:55 AM (ZO497)

113
Woke... at its core.... is just another way to say:

"We leftists are just so much better than you."

Posted by: fixerupper at March 10, 2017 11:55 AM (8XRCm)

114 Also: "bae"

I never heard of that one. How bad is it?

Posted by: Mary Poppins' Practically Perfect Piercing at March 10, 2017 11:55 AM (X6fMO)

115 108 >>>"That was the one where you flew around on the ostrich and tried to bop the other ostrich-riders on the head, right?"



Believe that was Joust...... good game, so was Defender and Robotron
Posted by: SSBN 656 (G) at March 10, 2017 11:55 AM (jjaLl)

Tempest

Posted by: Insomniac - sin valor at March 10, 2017 11:56 AM (0mRoj)

116 Joust wasn't a good game.

It was the Best Game.

Battle Ostrich - FTW!

Posted by: garrett at March 10, 2017 11:56 AM (+VANB)

117 Hmmm. Still not going to use the term, still not sure what it means, still don't think it will catch on beyond whichever dimwits now use it (unironically).


Meanwhile, it appears 3 out of 4 elections in a row with dramatic shifts and unmistakable implications *still* aren't enough to induce the country to take easy obvious steps to stop its self-inflicted torture (O-care).

Posted by: rhomboid at March 10, 2017 11:56 AM (QDnY+)

118 So, if you're not woke you're Herbert.

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at March 10, 2017 11:56 AM (IqV8l)

119 97 I never trust anyone who declares he is awake (or "woke") and everyone else is asleep. The reality is not that the general public is asleep and only you are awake. The reality is that the general public doesn't care about the same things you do.

I.e., I'm not "woke" to the 10th Amendment. I'm resigned to the fact that nobody else gives a shit about it.
Posted by: wooga at March 10, 2017 11:53 AM (3I7wr)

Sooo... Woke it the Opposite of Self Aware maybe?

Posted by: Don Q.... at March 10, 2017 11:56 AM (NgKpN)

120 Gnostic - Yeah for a few dollars moar, we can give you the secret teachings that will make you feel like a super special snowflake.

Posted by: Anna Puma at March 10, 2017 11:56 AM (29TTH)

121 All the kids at 4chan use "red pilled."

no no no.

red pilled is the day you realize the government and more specifically the global elites are raping your mind every moment of every day with no vaseline.

...signifies a free-thinking attitude, and a waking up from a "normal" life of sloth and ignorance. Red pills prefer the truth, no matter how gritty and painful it may be.

if you are not "red pilled" yet, you are a "normie"

Posted by: Nathan R. Jessup at March 10, 2017 11:56 AM (TixTl)

122 --
Also: "bae"



I don't know what this is.

Posted by: Circa (Insert Year Here) at March 10, 2017 11:55 AM
-----------

Most internet discourse these days sounds like the babbling of idiot children.

Posted by: irright at March 10, 2017 11:56 AM (pMGkg)

123 Moar Winning, a new oil field has been found in Alaska. About 1.2 billion barrels. Even Carl Sagan would have to admit that is a big deal.

-
What about the penguins?! Won't somebody think about the penguins?!

P.S. An Italian penguin is a penguinj.

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks. Now worse than Hitler! at March 10, 2017 11:57 AM (Nwg0u)

124 I saw Fart Rape open for the Butthole Surfers in 94 at the Cow Palace

Posted by: A deplorable dude in MI at March 10, 2017 11:57 AM (5Uq5D)

125 You want woke? Watch the JRE #911 podcast with Alex Jones. THAT is a 3 hour, 45 minute definition of woke.

Posted by: The Deplorable Mr. Trumpkin at March 10, 2017 11:57 AM (wwd4n)

126 You know what rhymes with "woke"? Broke like my bank account and a garage door spring. Damn this is going to suck. Can't even drive to get the parts to attempt a repair myself, because the garage door will not open manually.

Posted by: The Mouse that Roared at March 10, 2017 11:57 AM (7N6ox)

127 So, if you're not woke you're Herbert.
Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at March 10, 2017 11:56 AM (IqV8l)

---

Who.is.HERBERT?

Posted by: Captain Kames T Kirk. at March 10, 2017 11:57 AM (8XRCm)

128 https://www.amazon.com/As-Nature-Made-Him-Raised/dp/0061120561

Posted by: Anna Puma at March 10, 2017 11:50 AM (29TTH)


Covered that one on the book thread a year or two ago. Probably would be a good time to mention it again.

Posted by: OregonMuse, deplorable since 2004 at March 10, 2017 11:57 AM (Ms8OA)

129 Down here we call that a "hickory shampoo".
Posted by: OregonMuse
--------

I didn't even know that they have lead trees in Canada.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at March 10, 2017 11:57 AM (ZO497)

130 All people who use any verb form as a noun, or engage in any other form of nominalization, without my express permission shall henceforth be summarily executed . . . . you're welcome.

Posted by: Publius Redux at March 10, 2017 11:57 AM (Fb9aZ)

131 P.S. An Italian penguin is a penguinj.
Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks. Now worse than Hitler! at March 10, 2017 11:57 AM (Nwg0u)

I thought it was a penguini.

Posted by: Insomniac - sin valor at March 10, 2017 11:57 AM (0mRoj)

132 I woke today...

Posted by: Bobby at March 10, 2017 11:57 AM (+VANB)

133 "Woke" == familiar with the taste of butthole.

Posted by: wooga at March 10, 2017 11:57 AM (3I7wr)

134 Woke = Integrated with the progressive hive
Red-pilled = Become aware of the progressive hive and choosing to detach from it
--

Which is why 4chan is scary, yet fun at the same time.

Check out their Politically Incorrect section.

Lots of crazy ass non-politically correct stuff there.

Posted by: shibumi at March 10, 2017 11:58 AM (J5mC3)

135 Meanwhile, it appears 3 out of 4 elections in a row with dramatic shifts and unmistakable implications *still* aren't enough to induce the country to take easy obvious steps to stop its self-inflicted torture (O-care).

Posted by: rhomboid at March 10, 2017 11:56 AM (QDnY+)

3 out of 4 elections were historic victories for the Repubs, partly because of their promise to Repeal Obamacare...

So of course, now they won't do it...

/facepalm

Posted by: Don Q.... at March 10, 2017 11:58 AM (NgKpN)

136 Marxism is about grinding the little gears into powder so the big wheels can live like lords.
Posted by: Anna Puma at March 10, 2017 11:52 AM


Big wheels keep on turnin'.

Posted by: Proud Mary at March 10, 2017 11:58 AM (DMUuz)

137 You woke
To no coke
Cause you broke
Due to the toke.

Posted by: Anna Puma at March 10, 2017 11:58 AM (29TTH)

138 Joust, back to days of old when an ostrich could still fly.
Now they're just slackers.

Posted by: IP at March 10, 2017 11:58 AM (yV4wg)

139 Kevin Brady looks like a woke dildo.

Posted by: Under Fire at March 10, 2017 11:58 AM (X+rUO)

140 Also: "bae"

I don't know what this is.
Posted by: Circa (Insert Year Here) at March 10, 2017 11:55 AM (B+qrE)

----

Your significant other.

Before
Anybody
Else.

BAE.

Posted by: fixerupper at March 10, 2017 11:58 AM (8XRCm)

141 Who.is.HERBERT?

Posted by: Captain Kames T Kirk. at March 10, 2017 11:57 AM (8XRCm)



Q-berts older brother...

Posted by: SSBN 656 (G) at March 10, 2017 11:58 AM (jjaLl)

142 Most of the woke also toke that smoke.







Jim

Sunk New Dawn

Galveston, TX

Posted by: Jim at March 10, 2017 11:51 AM (v5iqM)

Stop.Oppressing.Me.

Posted by: Miley, the Duchess at March 10, 2017 11:58 AM (tHwdc)

143 because the garage door will not open manually.
Posted by: The Mouse that Roared
------------

That doesn't sound right. Why won't it?

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at March 10, 2017 11:58 AM (ZO497)

144 That throwing shade shit is all about catty gays talking shit thinking they won't get punched in the nose.

Posted by: Chupacabra at March 10, 2017 11:58 AM (Smm/k)

145 "But what not many normal people understand is that while they may not be interested in 'woke', 'woke' is very interested in them."

Nicely put. And remember:

"Barack Obama will require you to work....Barack will never allow you to go back to your lives as usual, uninvolved, uninformed."

- Our former First Lady

Posted by: JPS at March 10, 2017 11:58 AM (3cwEj)

146 44
All the kids at 4chan use "red pilled."

/be careful if you go there. it's a strange place...



Posted by: shibumi at March 10, 2017 11:46 AM (J5mC3)


Funnily enough, while "woke" and "red-pilled" have essentially the same meaning - ie, becoming aware of reality - they are in diametric opposition to each other.

"Wokeness" really started with BLM, and was all about "waking up" black America to their structural oppression. It's since gone on to be adopted by other identity groups, like feminists, trans-advocates, etc.
"Red-Pilled," on the other hand, had its genesis in the Men's Rights movement, where it was used to describe men shaking off the feminization of society to embrace a more traditional masculinity (that's a super simplistic definition). It's since been adopted by other anti-PC groups. The recent pewdiepie non-troversy on YouTube had a lot of people talking about how Pewdiepie had effectively "red pilled" 50+ million of his followers to the biased, malicious manipulation of the media.

I honestly think it's fascinating that these two concepts with similar meanings could emerge in parallel, but in opposition. If I were a researcher I'd research it, but I'm not so instead I just bloviate on Twitter. ^_^

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Assault Hobbit & Vaginassassin, aka Beth at March 03, 2017 12:36 PM [/ at March 10, 2017 11:58 AM (4df7R)

147 I thought it was a penguini.
Posted by: Insomniac - sin valor at March 10, 2017 11:57 AM (0mRoj)


Either spelling is perfectly penguine.

Posted by: hogmartin at March 10, 2017 11:59 AM (8nWyX)

148 Marble Madness was another good one.

Posted by: garrett at March 10, 2017 11:59 AM (+VANB)

149 Marxism is about grinding the little gears into powder so the big wheels can live like lords.

Posted by: Anna Puma at March 10, 2017 11:52 AM (29TTH)


It's how the New Kings try to make you feel righteous in setting them up over the Old Kings.

And then *really* put the screws in. I mean, Social Justice is even more expensive than the other kind.

Posted by: Merovign, Dark Lord of the Sith at March 10, 2017 11:59 AM (wB8Tg)

150 BAE - British AerospacE

Posted by: Anna Puma at March 10, 2017 11:59 AM (29TTH)

151 110 It's all a bunch of Gnostic shit in the end.
Posted by: Brother Cavil at March 10, 2017 11:55 AM (V1M8q)

I've been trying to think of a good catch-all term for this ideology that's been coalescing over the past decade or so. It's not really Marxism, it just uses the methods and trappings of Marxism. It isn't left or right, to the extent those words have any meaning. It's not Progressiveism, which though alive and well, is not what I believe we are witnessing.

Your post makes me think that Neo-Gnosticism is the word i've been looking for. I don't know if that's ever been a thing though for which that word is already taken. Too lazy to google it.

Posted by: Warai-otoko at March 10, 2017 11:59 AM (sK2fh)

152 red pilled is the day you realize the government and more specifically the global elites are raping your mind every moment of every day with no vaseline.

...signifies a free-thinking attitude, and a waking up from a "normal" life of sloth and ignorance. Red pills prefer the truth, no matter how gritty and painful it may be.

if you are not "red pilled" yet, you are a "normie
--

Strangely enough, I think I knew that.

I was just pointing out another hipster? young person? trendy? term that I've run across.

/hahahahaha I think we've all been red pilled here.

Posted by: shibumi at March 10, 2017 11:59 AM (J5mC3)

153 Wokey wokey
Eggs and gnocchi

Posted by: Battelboro Vegetarian Cafe at March 10, 2017 12:00 PM (3ofGF)

154 144 That throwing shade shit is all about catty gays talking shit thinking they won't get punched in the nose.
Posted by: Chupacabra at March 10, 2017 11:58 AM (Smm/k)

I thought it was just another word for the hairy eyeball or the stinkeye.

Posted by: Insomniac - sin valor at March 10, 2017 12:00 PM (0mRoj)

155 127
So, if you're not woke you're Herbert.

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at March 10, 2017 11:56 AM (IqV8l)



---



Who.is.HERBERT?

Posted by: Captain Kames T Kirk. at March 10, 2017 11:57 AM (8XRCm)
__________________________________________Hey man, I ain't no Herbert! I reach!

Posted by: Publius Redux at March 10, 2017 12:00 PM (Fb9aZ)

156 Your significant other.

Before
Anybody
Else.

BAE.


So, can I call Lena Dunham AAE?

Posted by: Circa (Insert Year Here) at March 10, 2017 12:00 PM (B+qrE)

157 Then I awoke
Was this some kind of joke
Much to my surprise
I opened my eyes.

Posted by: In Another Land at March 10, 2017 11:53 AM (IqV8l)



Thank you Bill Wyman. Not Wynn

Posted by: TheQuietMan at March 10, 2017 12:00 PM (493sH)

158 This post be on fleek

Posted by: RWC - Team BOHICA at March 10, 2017 12:00 PM (2x9LM)

159 What annoys me in part is that they couldn't use correct English. "Awakened." How hard is that?

Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius at March 10, 2017 12:01 PM (Dg36k)

160 That doesn't sound right. Why won't it?

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at March 10, 2017 11:58 AM (ZO497)

The spring pulls the tensioning cable allowing the door to open independently of the garage door opener if disconnected. With the spring broken, it is just a 200 pound piece of metal fastened to terra firma by gravity.

Posted by: The Mouse that Roared at March 10, 2017 12:01 PM (7N6ox)

161 Wizard of Wok

What was the arcade game that had your ship flying and fighting toward the center while you used a wheel to move around the outer edge of the screen? Was that Tempest?

Posted by: Moron Robbie at March 10, 2017 12:01 PM (/f1mm)

162 --
Your significant other.



Before

Anybody

Else.



BAE.



So, can I call Lena Dunham AAE?

Posted by: Circa (Insert Year Here) at March 10, 2017 12:00 PM
----------

Or just leave the B off. AE

Posted by: irright at March 10, 2017 12:01 PM (pMGkg)

163 I "woke" this morning "on point".....

Posted by: IP at March 10, 2017 12:01 PM (yV4wg)

164 What annoys me in part is that they couldn't use correct English. "Awakened." How hard is that?
Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius at March 10, 2017 12:01 PM (Dg36k)


They get charged by the syllable.

Posted by: hogmartin at March 10, 2017 12:01 PM (8nWyX)

165 That throwing shade shit is all about catty gays talking shit thinking they won't get punched in the nose.
Posted by: Chupacabra at March 10, 2017 11:58 AM (Smm/k)

I thought it was just another word for the hairy eyeball or the stinkeye.
Posted by: Insomniac - sin valor at March 10, 2017 12:00 PM (0mRoj)

-----

Huh.... I thought the term meant to dampen or to lessen entusiasm, or to insult.



Posted by: fixerupper at March 10, 2017 12:02 PM (8XRCm)

166 >>So... still not sure what Woke is...


or is it just a virtue signal thing, where you are the most Progressed Progressive?



Some examples: Ruth Bader-Ginsburg was declared "un-woke" for saying negative things about Colin Kapearnick's protest. Charlotte Rampling was declared un-woke for not buying that it was purely racism that caused only white actors, etc. to be nominated for oscars last year.

See, it's woke to support/claim to understand the progressive thing, whatever that thing is.

Posted by: Lizzy at March 10, 2017 12:02 PM (NOIQH)

167
Also: "bae"



I don't know what this is.

Posted by: Circa (Insert Year Here) at March 10, 2017 11:55 AM (B+qrE)


God I hate "bae." Hate it so much.
It's an abbreviation of "before anyone else," and it's a term of endearment for your significant other. "I love the way bae looks at me." It's interchangeable with, but far inferior to, terms like baby, sweetie, honey, etc.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Assault Hobbit & Vaginassassin, aka Beth at March 03, 2017 12:36 PM [/ at March 10, 2017 12:02 PM (4df7R)

168 I was glad Moki asked this question. The first time I saw it I thought it was a typo. Mrs. JTB keeps track of this kind of thing so she could explain. I put 'woke' in the same category as 'totes' (totally) and anything dibbling from the mouth of Maxine Waters: stupid, divisive, pseudo-cool, and stupid.

Posted by: JTB at March 10, 2017 12:02 PM (V+03K)

169 "Awakened" -> too many syllables and hard to fit on a sign.

Yep Merovign. Now forsooth I must scoot and hie off to writers lunch.

Posted by: Anna Puma at March 10, 2017 12:02 PM (29TTH)

170 >>>So, can I call Lena Dunham AAE?



I'd go with NFW for that pig!

Posted by: SSBN 656 (G) at March 10, 2017 12:02 PM (jjaLl)

171 How to woke a dog.

Posted by: Korean Cookbook at March 10, 2017 12:02 PM (kTF2Z)

172 161 Wizard of Wok

What was the arcade game that had your ship flying and fighting toward the center while you used a wheel to move around the outer edge of the screen? Was that Tempest?
Posted by: Moron Robbie at March 10, 2017 12:01 PM (/f1mm)

Tempest. There's a more modern version called Gyruss. I played the hell out of both back in the day.

Posted by: Insomniac - sin valor at March 10, 2017 12:02 PM (0mRoj)

173 What annoys me in part is that they couldn't use correct English. "Awakened." How hard is that?
---

I think that "English" in public schools has been replaced with "Cisgendered Homosexual White Hate/Black Love" classes.

Posted by: shibumi at March 10, 2017 12:02 PM (J5mC3)

174 25 4. Don't know if there is any comparable term like "false woke". Maybe sleepwalking?
----------

Faux Woke?

Sounds like an Asian dish, or perhaps a name.

*
*
A song about an Asian cooking device in a wood in Germany: "A Wok in the Black Forest."

Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius at March 10, 2017 12:02 PM (Dg36k)

175 So, can I call Lena Dunham AAE?

Posted by: Circa (Insert Year Here) at March 10, 2017 12:00 PM (B+qrE)

After I stab my eyes out AISMEO.

Posted by: The Mouse that Roared at March 10, 2017 12:03 PM (7N6ox)

176 What annoys me in part is that they couldn't use correct English. "Awakened." How hard is that?

Well, they think women give birth to half of humankind and that you can power a planet with seven billion people on unicorn farts, so...

Posted by: Circa (Insert Year Here) at March 10, 2017 12:03 PM (B+qrE)

177 So, can I call Lena Dunham AAE?
Posted by: Circa (Insert Year Here) at March 10, 2017 12:00 PM (B+qrE)

NWASD

(not with a stolen d*ck)

pronounced "nuh-WASS-sid"

Posted by: Warai-otoko at March 10, 2017 12:03 PM (sK2fh)

178 If Johann Sebastian Bach had scrapped the Saint Matthew Passion for an oratorio about Joan of Arc, would he have been woke in the Baroque?

-
One of Bach's greatest works, Sleepers Be Woke, Marx Be Calling.

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks. Now worse than Hitler! at March 10, 2017 12:03 PM (Nwg0u)

179 Moar Winning, a new oil field has been found in Alaska. About 1.2 billion barrels. Even Carl Sagan would have to admit that is a big deal.

Posted by: Anna Puma at March 10, 2017 11:47 AM (29TTH)



King Barry: I command you to not drill for oil there!

Posted by: TheQuietMan at March 10, 2017 12:03 PM (493sH)

180 muh bae iz totes woke AF

Posted by: Nathan R. Jessup at March 10, 2017 12:04 PM (TixTl)

181 Marx Be Calling.


I thought it was London?

Posted by: IP at March 10, 2017 12:04 PM (yV4wg)

182 These theses should be nailed to every progressive's forehead.

Posted by: Insomniac - sin valor at March 10, 2017 12:04 PM (0mRoj)

183
WOKE YOUR BAE
woke your bae
WOKE YOUR BAE
woke your bae...

..a just gimme a KISS?

~

Baerosmith

Posted by: fixerupper at March 10, 2017 12:04 PM (8XRCm)

184 God I hate "bae." Hate it so much.
It's an abbreviation of "before anyone else," and it's a term of endearment for your significant other. "I love the way bae looks at me." It's interchangeable with, but far inferior to, terms like baby, sweetie, honey, etc.
---

I had no idea what bae stood for. Although I was aware of woke and red pilled.

That being said... "bae?" Really?

Sorry. I'm a grown up and don't speak like a 6th grade girl.

Posted by: shibumi at March 10, 2017 12:04 PM (J5mC3)

185 Either spelling is perfectly penguine.
Posted by: hogmartin at March 10, 2017 11:59 AM


Penguin the Penguine.

Posted by: Cole Porter at March 10, 2017 12:04 PM (DMUuz)

186 If you don't contrast "Red Pill" to "Copper Top," you are mixing your metaphors.

Posted by: Merovign, Dark Lord of the Sith at March 10, 2017 12:04 PM (wB8Tg)

187 159 What annoys me in part is that they couldn't use correct English. "Awakened." How hard is that?
Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius at March 10, 2017 12:01 PM (Dg36k)

==================

Because it's cultural appropriation to use "woke". It's how black people describe it.

And white progressives aren't anything if not hypocrites about things like cultural appropriation.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison at March 10, 2017 12:04 PM (ELUpj)

188 What annoys me in part is that they couldn't use correct English. "Awakened." How hard is that?

Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius at March 10, 2017 12:01 PM




1) "woke" sounds more street than "awakened," and that gives it more cred
2) "Awakened" is proper grammar, and proper grammar is evidence of patriarchal oppression by the privileged white elite.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Assault Hobbit & Vaginassassin, aka Beth at March 03, 2017 12:36 PM [/ at March 10, 2017 12:05 PM (4df7R)

189 20. The opposite of "woke" is normal. That is, if you're not "woke", that means you're a normal person living a normal life & too busy for such silliness.

Posted by: golfman at March 10, 2017 12:05 PM (k0S3A)

190 Well I woke up this morning and I got myself a beer
The futures uncertain and the end is always near

Posted by: JackStraw at March 10, 2017 12:05 PM (/tuJf)

191 I woke up in a Soho doorway
A policeman knew my name
He said you can go sleep at home tonight
If you can get up and walk away

I staggered back to the underground
And the breeze blew back my hair
I remember throwin' punches around
And preachin' from my chair

Posted by: TheQuietMan at March 10, 2017 12:05 PM (493sH)

192 Up talkers should be keel hauled.

Posted by: Under Fire at March 10, 2017 12:05 PM (X+rUO)

193 Is Zima the drink for woke people? Is that why it is coming back?

Posted by: markytom at March 10, 2017 12:05 PM (yEAdf)

194 143 because the garage door will not open manually.
Posted by: The Mouse that Roared
------------
That doesn't sound right. Why won't it?
Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at March 10, 2017 11:58 AM (ZO497)


Yes, my automatic garage door opener has a manual override lever (I feel like I'm on star trek). I thought every automatic garage door opener had one of those.

Posted by: OregonMuse, deplorable since 2004 at March 10, 2017 12:05 PM (Ms8OA)

195 30 Rule 34 in reference to 'Woke'?
Posted by: Blanco at March 10, 2017 11:45 AM (tGBt6)



White male being pegged by a black lesbian?

Posted by: buzzion at March 10, 2017 12:05 PM (z/Ubi)

196 Bae, I hear you calling...

Posted by: Woke KISS at March 10, 2017 12:05 PM (B+qrE)

197 Marx Be Calling.

I thought it was London?

Posted by: IP at March 10, 2017 12:04 PM (yV4wg)


Jairmaney.

Posted by: Lord Haw Haw at March 10, 2017 12:05 PM (8nWyX)

198 >>What annoys me in part is that they couldn't use correct English. "Awakened." How hard is that?


Grammar be raaaaacist!

Posted by: Lizzy at March 10, 2017 12:05 PM (NOIQH)

199 Sorry. I'm a grown up and don't speak like a 6th grade girl.


Posted by: shibumi at March 10, 2017 12:04 PM (J5mC3)


Ditto. >_<

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Assault Hobbit & Vaginassassin, aka Beth at March 03, 2017 12:36 PM [/ at March 10, 2017 12:06 PM (4df7R)

200 Tempest. There's a more modern version called Gyruss. I played the hell out of both back in the day.

Posted by: Insomniac - sin valor at March 10, 2017 12:02 PM (0mRoj)



I always preferred the Williams games over the Ataris... although Asteroids was a cool game, as simple as it was.....

Posted by: SSBN 656 (G) at March 10, 2017 12:06 PM (jjaLl)

201 Every time I get "woke" I have to pee.

Posted by: Herr Morgenholz at March 10, 2017 12:06 PM (sF/De)

202 >>Is Zima the drink for woke people? Is that why it is coming back?


Purple drank

Posted by: Lizzy at March 10, 2017 12:06 PM (NOIQH)

203
The spring pulls the tensioning cable allowing the door to open independently of the garage door opener if disconnected. With the spring broken, it is just a 200 pound piece of metal fastened to terra firma by gravity.
Posted by: The Mouse that Roared
-----------

Hmm. So, a torsion spring rather an extension spring? Have you tried "Open Sesame"?

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at March 10, 2017 12:06 PM (ZO497)

204 Up talkers should be keel hauled.

HOW DID THAT CRAP START?

So annoying....

Posted by: Woke KISS at March 10, 2017 12:06 PM (B+qrE)

205 Well I woke up this morning and I got myself a beer
The futures uncertain and the end is always near
Posted by: JackStraw at March 10, 2017 12:05 PM (/tuJf)

----

Jump into a taxi and the time is getting tight
I got to keep a moving I got a show tonight

Posted by: fixerupper at March 10, 2017 12:06 PM (8XRCm)

206
The photo looks like Ed Norton is cowering to get into the sewer but I never saw Alice and Trixie look like that before

Posted by: TheQuietMan at March 10, 2017 12:07 PM (493sH)

207 '...and I woke up high
over albequerque
on a jet to
the promised land.'

Posted by: garrett at March 10, 2017 12:07 PM (+VANB)

208 I always preferred the Williams games over the Ataris... although Asteroids was a cool game, as simple as it was.....
Posted by: SSBN 656 (G) at March 10, 2017 12:06 PM (jjaLl)

Simple but hard as hell.

Posted by: Insomniac - sin valor at March 10, 2017 12:07 PM (0mRoj)

209 Purple Drank would be cultural appropriation.

Posted by: Chupacabra at March 10, 2017 12:07 PM (Smm/k)

210 148 Marble Madness was another good one.
Posted by: garrett at March 10, 2017 11:59 AM (+VANB)

I dropped a lot of quarters on that game in college. Which might explain why I changed majors so often.

Posted by: joncelli, Longbow Afficianado and Phalangist at March 10, 2017 12:07 PM (RD7QR)

211 What's up fappers?

I just woke up.

Ooops. Is that the wrong way to say this now?


Posted by: Deplorable Ian Galt at March 10, 2017 12:07 PM (8iiMU)

212 109 Also: "bae"

I don't know what this is.

*
*
The son of the big Magician, Mr. Gold/Rumpelstiltskin, on ABC's Once Upon a Time.

Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius at March 10, 2017 12:07 PM (Dg36k)

213 White male being pegged by a black lesbian?

Posted by: buzzion at March 10, 2017 12:05 PM (z/Ubi)




We talking about DeBlasio?

Posted by: Country Singer at March 10, 2017 12:07 PM (uiwCw)

214 192 Up talkers should be keel hauled.
Posted by: Under Fire at March 10, 2017 12:05 PM (X+rUO)

That's so harsh?

Posted by: joncelli, Longbow Afficianado and Phalangist at March 10, 2017 12:08 PM (RD7QR)

215 Is Zima the drink for woke people? Is that why it is coming back?

If Zima is coming back, we need start building Ark B, Monday morning, 9AM.

Posted by: Circa (Insert Year Here) at March 10, 2017 12:08 PM (B+qrE)

216 Other idiotic Millennial terminology I hate: "side hustle."


Adults do not "side hustle." Adults have second jobs.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Assault Hobbit & Vaginassassin, aka Beth at March 10, 2017 12:08 PM (4df7R)

217 Ooops. Is that the wrong way to say this now?


Posted by: Deplorable Ian Galt at March 10, 2017 12:07 PM (8iiMU)

No, "fappers" is perfectly fine.

Posted by: Warai-otoko at March 10, 2017 12:08 PM (sK2fh)

218 I always though "bae" was just a purposeful misspelling of "bye". It's actually even stupider than that.

Posted by: Chris M at March 10, 2017 12:08 PM (eAZVt)

219 Well I woke up this morning and I got myself a beer
The futures uncertain and the end is always near
----

I don't know what's going to happen, but I want to get my kicks before the whole shithouse goes up in flames.


Posted by: shibumi at March 10, 2017 12:08 PM (J5mC3)

220 214 192 Up talkers should be keel hauled.
Posted by: Under Fire at March 10, 2017 12:05 PM (X+rUO)

That's so harsh?
Posted by: joncelli, Longbow Afficianado and Phalangist at March 10, 2017 12:08 PM (RD7QR)

Totes.

Posted by: Insomniac - sin valor at March 10, 2017 12:08 PM (0mRoj)

221 Your significant other.

Before
Anybody
Else.

BAE.

Posted by: fixerupper at March 10, 2017 11:58 AM (8XRCm)

==============

Ah. Like the old BFF ...

Posted by: ShainS at March 10, 2017 12:08 PM (mt8X9)

222 I guess this is all kind of like the women who got into feminist therapy back in the 1980s and 1990s and discovered through dream analysis that they had been repeated gang raped by male relatives or at church and their babies were sacrificed in satanic rituals.

it sure makes as much sense.


Zema..? Pee yew.

Posted by: mallfly the Peach of Hoboken at March 10, 2017 12:08 PM (b7fwp)

223 It is amazing that the modern SJW stuff is in fact a dumber version of communism.

They've changed the veneer but all the underlying crap is the same.

I know there has been an argument that the new left was nothing more then a re-skin of the old extreme left...and more and more it seems to be true.

Posted by: 18-1 at March 10, 2017 12:09 PM (X7E8f)

224 Theses on "woke"

Woke people is why we can't have nice things.

Posted by: Our Country is Screwed at March 10, 2017 12:09 PM (jxbfJ)

225 @ 126

Your garage door should have a manual disconnect from the drive chain, likely near the door end of the track.

Release the door and you can, with some difficulty, raise the door.

Posted by: irongrampa at March 10, 2017 12:09 PM (X35Yt)

226 Side hustles are usually off the books ways of making extra cash... I'd call that hustling.

Posted by: Chupacabra at March 10, 2017 12:09 PM (Smm/k)

227 What annoys me in part is that they couldn't use correct English. "Awakened." How hard is that?
====

They weren't taught anything. At all.

And they number in the millions. And vote.

Posted by: Mortimer - FINISH HER ! at March 10, 2017 12:09 PM (/hasf)

228 >>I don't know what's going to happen, but I want to get my kicks before the whole shithouse goes up in flames.


Let it roll, baby, roll.

Posted by: JackStraw at March 10, 2017 12:09 PM (/tuJf)

229 214
192 Up talkers should be keel hauled.

Posted by: Under Fire at March 10, 2017 12:05 PM (X+rUO)



That's so harsh?

Posted by: joncelli, Longbow Afficianado and Phalangist at March 10, 2017 12:08 PM (RD7QR)


*stabs joncelli repeatedly in the throat*

...

Oh, sorry. Automatic reaction.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Assault Hobbit & Vaginassassin, aka Beth at March 10, 2017 12:09 PM (4df7R)

230 Your significant other.

Before
Anybody
Else.

BAE.

Posted by: fixerupper at March 10, 2017 11:58 AM (8XRCm)


Oh, fuck that.

Of course, now that we're discussing "woke," I have the Swinging Medallions song "Double Shot Of My Baby's Love" running through my head:

Woke up this morning, my head was so bad -
The worst hangover that I ever had -
It wasn't wine that I had too much of -
It was a double shot of my baby's love!

Posted by: Mary Poppins' Practically Perfect Piercing at March 10, 2017 12:09 PM (X6fMO)

231 So... still not sure what Woke is...
or is it just a virtue signal thing, where you are the most Progressed Progressive?


See theses 27 and 28.

Posted by: OregonMuse, deplorable since 2004 at March 10, 2017 12:09 PM (Ms8OA)

232 HOW DID THAT CRAP START?

So annoying....

-----

My thoeory.

Kids today are tought to be unassertive and confrontational and noncompetitive.

I think that psychologically, when making a declarative statement, they are soo tepid the statement comes out sounding like a question rather than a statement.

Of course... I could be full of shit.

Posted by: fixerupper at March 10, 2017 12:10 PM (8XRCm)

233 I know there has been an argument that the new left was nothing more then a re-skin of the old extreme left...and more and more it seems to be true.
Posted by: 18-1 at March 10, 2017 12:09 PM (X7E8f)



It is no accident that the Left's race-baiting took off after the Soviet Empire fell apart.

Posted by: Curmudgeon at March 10, 2017 12:10 PM (ujg0T)

234 I just got back from errands and saw that Oregon Muse used a quote from me on a thread!

I am simultaneously jumping up and down, and embarrassed to death.

But thanks man. I'm glad I wrote something that wasn't completely idiotic.

Posted by: moki at March 10, 2017 12:10 PM (wuzmq)

235 18. For example, when he takes a dump, the "woke" guy worries that his poo is opressive to women.


Okay. This is an important national problem and I have decided that we need "Men Stinking Up The Bathroom And Not Being Sufficiently Ashamed" Awareness. We'll start with a brown ribbon to raise awareness of this atrocity.

The acronym MSUTBANBSA is ungainly. Also it starts with MSU, which will piss off the Spartans in East Lansing. So that's a no go. Ya know how womyn put "man" in front of anything men do that they don't like, in order to turn it into a National Issue? Like "mansplaining" and "manspreading".
Okay morons, stop with the "manstinking" in the shitter.

Posted by: nerdygirl at March 10, 2017 12:10 PM (+lVUW)

236 Totes.
Posted by: Insomniac - sin valor at March 10, 2017 12:08 PM (0mRoj)

----

You did on purpose.

Posted by: fixerupper at March 10, 2017 12:10 PM (8XRCm)

237 226
Side hustles are usually off the books ways of making extra cash... I'd call that hustling.

Posted by: Chupacabra at March 10, 2017 12:09 PM (Smm/k)


Depends who you're talking to. Driving for Uber in your off hours is a "side hustle."

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Assault Hobbit & Vaginassassin, aka Beth at March 10, 2017 12:11 PM (4df7R)

238 Moar Winning, a new oil field has been found in Alaska. About 1.2 billion barrels.

Peak oil is now. German Energy Watch Group, 2008.

By 2012 surplus oil production capacity could entirely disappear, US Dept of Defense, 2008 and 2010.

The next 5 years will see us face ... the oil crunch. UK Industry Taskforce on Peak Oil and Energy Security, 2009.


Posted by: Mathers at March 10, 2017 12:11 PM (mDmux)

239 Sounds to me that you need to be born with Trust-Fund in order to be "truly woke".

Posted by: Paladin at March 10, 2017 12:11 PM (LTquJ)

240
I am simultaneously jumping up and down
Posted by: moki
====

Pics?

Posted by: Mortimer - FINISH HER ! at March 10, 2017 12:11 PM (/hasf)

241 I though "bae" was just a pseudo-ignorant mispronunciation of "baby" that sprang up on black twitter. (meaning they know damn well it's wrong, but say it wrong anyway to sound authentically urban). The "before anyone else" thing I thought was just a later backronym/false etymology thing.

Who knows. Who cares?

Posted by: Warai-otoko at March 10, 2017 12:11 PM (sK2fh)

242 >>Your garage door should have a manual disconnect from the drive chain, likely near the door end of the track.


If it's an old style, wood door and the Spring is not functioning it's gonna be heavy...

So, lift with your back, not your knees.

Posted by: garrett at March 10, 2017 12:11 PM (+VANB)

243 You fart raped my woke false conscious!

Posted by: Gre not erg at March 10, 2017 12:11 PM (FqgrG)

244 '...and I woke up high
over albequerque
on a jet to the promised land.'
Posted by: garrett at March 10, 2017 12:07 PM


Tell the folks back home this is the promised land calling
And the woke boy is on the line

Posted by: E. P. at March 10, 2017 12:12 PM (DMUuz)

245 All this is making my head hurt.

Posted by: Jaimo at March 10, 2017 12:12 PM (9U1OG)

246 186 If you don't contrast "Red Pill" to "Copper Top," you are mixing your metaphors.
Posted by: Merovign, Dark Lord of the Sith at March 10, 2017 12:04 PM (wB8Tg)

Crossing the memes can be bad....

Posted by: Egon at March 10, 2017 12:12 PM (NgKpN)

247 Am I the only one who's noticed that the letters in "woke" can be rearranged to spell "ewok"?

I don't think this is coincidence.

Posted by: T at March 10, 2017 12:12 PM (IKdzI)

248 218 I always though "bae" was just a purposeful misspelling of "bye". It's actually even stupider than that.

Posted by: Chris M at March 10, 2017 12:08 PM (eAZVt)



I thought it was some weird foreign word like beau. So its even dumber.

At this point you might as well call your significant other your "sweet baboo." At least that's referencing Peanuts.

Posted by: buzzion at March 10, 2017 12:12 PM (z/Ubi)

249 Your garage door should have a manual disconnect from the drive chain, likely near the door end of the track.


If it's an old style, wood door and the Spring is not functioning it's gonna be heavy...

So, lift with your back, not your knees.

-------

Itll have a rope on the travel arm.

Do not pull the rope with the door up.

Posted by: fixerupper at March 10, 2017 12:12 PM (8XRCm)

250 Anyone remember the arcade game Qix? I loved that one in high school.

Posted by: Crusader at March 10, 2017 12:12 PM (ewSN2)

251 I would only call it a side hustle if I'm not paying taxes on the income.

Posted by: Chupacabra at March 10, 2017 12:12 PM (Smm/k)

252 What annoys me in part is that they couldn't use correct English. "Awakened." How hard is that?
***
It is intentional. Like the Khmer Rouge, they want to destroy all the old rules, and that even gets into things like grammar.

Posted by: 18-1 at March 10, 2017 12:12 PM (X7E8f)

253 wake up to find out that you are the eyes of the world

Posted by: JackStraw at March 10, 2017 12:12 PM (/tuJf)

254 238
Moar Winning, a new oil field has been found in Alaska. About 1.2 billion barrels.



Peak oil is now. German Energy Watch Group, 2008.



By 2012 surplus oil production capacity could entirely disappear, US Dept of Defense, 2008 and 2010.



The next 5 years will see us face ... the oil crunch. UK Industry Taskforce on Peak Oil and Energy Security, 2009.







Posted by: Mathers at March 10, 2017 12:11 PM (mDmux)

But 97% of the scientists agreed.

Posted by: Our Country is Screwed at March 10, 2017 12:13 PM (jxbfJ)

255 I think the term comes from watching "The Matrix." To be "woke" is to wake-up and see the oppressive capitalist constructs that keep the proles sleeping and not challenging those hidden ones who run the world. As always with the left it is a projection of their own schemes onto their enemy.

The education establishment works hard to force feed the "red pill" into all students, but in this case it works to trap them in a nightmarish dream-world.

Posted by: geoffb5 at March 10, 2017 12:13 PM (d3wbb)

256 Simple but hard as hell.

Posted by: Insomniac - sin valor at March 10, 2017 12:07 PM (0mRoj)



No doubt! After a while the screens full of boulders, and the spaceships get a lot more accurate...
My older brother attempted an official shot for the all time high score- there was an Atari rep there and everything.... he was great at it. He was right around 10 million (IIRC) and a breaker tripped in the arcade- game over. He had been playing for hours and they decided not to try again.

Posted by: SSBN 656 (G) at March 10, 2017 12:13 PM (jjaLl)

257 251
I would only call it a side hustle if I'm not paying taxes on the income.

Posted by: Chupacabra at March 10, 2017 12:12 PM (Smm/k)


That is because you are not a dumb Millennial who wants to sound cool.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Assault Hobbit & Vaginassassin, aka Beth at March 10, 2017 12:13 PM (4df7R)

258 OM-

Martin Luther has you numerically beat by a mile but he did have a much broader theme on which to compose.

Posted by: Headless Body of Agnew at March 10, 2017 12:13 PM (FtrY1)

259 >>Kids today are tought to be unassertive and confrontational and noncompetitive.


I had to threaten my 15 year old nephew with a beating and a long walk back to the house to get him to drive my truck across a pasture a few years back.

I tossed him the keys, and told him to drive 2 sections over to the next fence and pick me up...

he didn't want to!?

Posted by: garrett at March 10, 2017 12:13 PM (+VANB)

260 Yes, my automatic garage door opener has a manual override lever (I feel like I'm on star trek). I thought every automatic garage door opener had one of those.
Posted by: OregonMuse
----------

It's the weight of the door that's the problem, without spring assist.

Which reminds me. Years ago we had a split level house. The garage was actually a drive-in basement, and was directly under the master bedroom.

One morning, around 3:00 a.m., there was loud *WHANG* *CRASH*. Startled the hell out me as I was woke by it.

Turns out that one of the garage door extension springs had picked that moment to fail. Which was good, because they did not have safety cables strung through them, and might have ruined my day if I had happened to be standing there when it went.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at March 10, 2017 12:14 PM (ZO497)

261 226 Side hustles are usually off the books ways of making extra cash... I'd call that hustling.
Posted by: Chupacabra at March 10, 2017 12:09 PM (Smm/k)



I'd call it working under the table. Because I'm an adult. And not a pimp.

Posted by: buzzion at March 10, 2017 12:14 PM (z/Ubi)

262 159 What annoys me in part is that they couldn't use correct English. "Awakened." How hard is that?

Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius at March 10, 2017 12:01 PM (Dg36k)

===========

Grammar is racist ...

Posted by: ShainS at March 10, 2017 12:14 PM (mt8X9)

263 "Awakened" -> too many syllables and hard to fit on a sign.


Too many syllables for those using it, who have the mental capacity of a Commodore 64.

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at March 10, 2017 12:15 PM (SGa2t)

264 The spring pulls the tensioning cable allowing the door to open independently of the garage door opener if disconnected. With the spring broken, it is just a 200 pound piece of metal fastened to terra firma by gravity.

Posted by: The Mouse that Roared at March 10, 2017 12:01 PM (7N6ox)

If you have an opener, leave it connected, and have another person trigger the opener while you lift on the side of the door with the broken spring. It should open fairly easily.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at March 10, 2017 12:15 PM (WDdjT)

265
It is no accident that the Left's race-baiting took off after the Soviet Empire fell apart.
***
Back during the cold war I remember it was common for Soviet apologists to respond to, "The Soviet Union killed 40-100M of its own people due to communist murder and purges" with "but but jim crow!"

Posted by: 18-1 at March 10, 2017 12:15 PM (X7E8f)

266 33. And normal people just want to be left alone.

34. But what not many normal people understand is that while they may not be interested in "woke", "woke" is very interested in them.



Well, bring it assholes. Bring your wokefulness. You will quickly discover that most of us Normals have had enough of this bullshit and will happily shove your woke where the sun don't shine.

Posted by: Tonto at March 10, 2017 12:15 PM (0tfLf)

267 In a revolution these are the people who get lined up against the wall first, because they are the ones that are the most disappointed that paradise looks nothing like promised.

Posted by: MarkC at March 10, 2017 12:15 PM (iWFQR)

268 >>Itll have a rope on the travel arm.

Do not pull the rope with the door up.


At least not until there are small kids and/or some pets below to catch it.

Posted by: garrett at March 10, 2017 12:15 PM (+VANB)

269 Woke up this morning, my head was so bad -
The worst hangover that I ever had -
It wasn't wine that I had too much of -
It was a double shot of my baby's baebae's love!

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks. Now worse than Hitler! at March 10, 2017 12:15 PM (Nwg0u)

270 Crossing the memes can be bad....
Posted by: Egon at March 10, 2017 12:12 PM


This is AoSHQ Productions.

Every feature-length thread features Memes by Mixmaster, and Cliches by DeCarload.

Posted by: E. P. at March 10, 2017 12:15 PM (DMUuz)

271 "Barack Obama will require you to work....Barack will never allow you to go back to your lives as usual, uninvolved, uninformed."

- Our former First Lady

Posted by: JPS at March 10, 2017 11:58 AM (3cwEj)


Spoken like a true commie.

Posted by: TheQuietMan at March 10, 2017 12:15 PM (OE2ur)

272 263 "Awakened" -> too many syllables and hard to fit on a sign.


Too many syllables for those using it, who have the mental capacity of a Commodore 64.
Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at March 10, 2017 12:15 PM (SGa2t)



And they'd probably misspell it.

Posted by: buzzion at March 10, 2017 12:15 PM (z/Ubi)

273 >>My thoeory.


Kids today are tought to be unassertive and confrontational and noncompetitive.





And as a counter we get vocal fry - the attempt to sound authoritative and serious you guys. At least that's how it's used around the office.

Posted by: Lizzy at March 10, 2017 12:15 PM (NOIQH)

274 The use of "bae" for any purpose other than to mock it should be grounds for a beating.

Posted by: Brother Cavil at March 10, 2017 12:16 PM (V1M8q)

275 these deadbeats talk retarded and their shit is all fucked up. they need a serious fucking beatdown.

Posted by: chavez the hugo at March 10, 2017 12:16 PM (KP5rU)

276 "Father the Dreamer as Awakened!"

Posted by: Mau-Deb at March 10, 2017 12:16 PM (LTquJ)

277 It's very easy to kill these stupid terms. Every one of us that are over 50 years old start using them in conversations with these silly children.

Woke would die overnight.

Posted by: Soona at March 10, 2017 12:16 PM (0rpO6)

278 I remember when junior high school girl 'cool' slang didn't outlast 8th grade. Now it is adopted as clever and cutting edge by retarded adults who still need to be 'cool'. And people wonder why I fear for our culture.

I honestly believe if some snow flake used totes or woke in a conversation, my response would be: "Are you actually that stupid and immature?"

Posted by: JTB at March 10, 2017 12:16 PM (V+03K)

279 If it's an old style, wood door and the Spring is not functioning it's gonna be heavy...

So, lift with your back, not your knees.

Posted by: garrett at March 10, 2017 12:11 PM (+VANB)


My door is a 16-17 foot wood door. When one of my springs broke it took 3 people to lift it. Its like neutron star heavy.

Posted by: Berserker- Dragonheads Division at March 10, 2017 12:16 PM (aMlLZ)

280 But do you grok?

Posted by: Locke Common at March 10, 2017 12:16 PM (5Fa12)

281
I (a)woke last night to the sound of thunder . . .

Posted by: Sphynx at March 10, 2017 12:16 PM (OZmbA)

282 If you wear a safety pin your are probably woke.

If you have calloused hands you are probably not woke.

Posted by: Ripley at March 10, 2017 12:17 PM (1BQGO)

283 247 Am I the only one who's noticed that the letters in "woke" can be rearranged to spell "ewok"?

I don't think this is coincidence.
Posted by: T at March 10, 2017 12:12 PM (IKdzI)

See #48

Posted by: Insomniac - sin valor at March 10, 2017 12:17 PM (0mRoj)

284 I (a)woke last night to the sound of thunder . . .
Posted by: Sphynx at March 10, 2017 12:16 PM (OZmbA

----

How far off I sat and wondered.

Posted by: fixerupper at March 10, 2017 12:17 PM (8XRCm)

285 If you have an opener, leave it connected, and have another person trigger the opener while you lift on the side of the door with the broken spring. It should open fairly easily.
Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at March 10, 2017 12:15 PM (WDdjT)


There are a lot of home projects I'll DIY but I'll happily pay the Sears guys to mess with 20 pound springs that can fly off at warp 9 with no warning.

Posted by: hogmartin at March 10, 2017 12:17 PM (8nWyX)

286 239 Sounds to me that you need to be born with Trust-Fund in order to be "truly woke".
Posted by: Paladin at March 10, 2017 12:11 PM (LTquJ)



I think etymologically you have to be the product of about five generations on welfare to be authentically "woke."

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at March 10, 2017 12:17 PM (SGa2t)

287 I thought fart rape was called shart.

I guess I need to woke the fuck up.

Posted by: Fritz at March 10, 2017 12:18 PM (2Mnv1)

288 247 Am I the only one who's noticed that the letters in "woke" can be rearranged to spell "ewok"?

I don't think this is coincidence.

Posted by: T at March 10, 2017 12:12 PM



heh!

Posted by: Tonto at March 10, 2017 12:18 PM (0tfLf)

289 Can I copyright bewokenizationalism?

Posted by: Headless Body of Agnew at March 10, 2017 12:18 PM (FtrY1)

290 It is no accident that the Left's race-baiting took off after the Soviet Empire fell apart.

Posted by: Curmudgeon at March 10, 2017 12:10 PM (ujg0T)

It is no accident that climate change hysteria took off at around the same time. It's all green on the outside and red on the inside.

Posted by: cool breeze at March 10, 2017 12:18 PM (StZrq)

291 What about manspreading, does that count as rape yet?

Posted by: Manspreader at March 10, 2017 12:18 PM (6O2Kd)

292 There are a lot of home projects I'll DIY but I'll happily pay the Sears guys to mess with 20 pound springs that can fly off at warp 9 with no warning.
Posted by: hogmartin at March 10, 2017 12:17 PM (8nWyX)

-----

If you have torsion springs... do not mess with those yourself.

Posted by: fixerupper at March 10, 2017 12:18 PM (8XRCm)

293
I take it woke "men" are working breast pumps on themselves for gender equality

Posted by: TheQuietMan at March 10, 2017 12:18 PM (OE2ur)

294 I thought a boyfriend /girlfriend was called "Boo."

I'm about as woke as John McCain is conservative.

Posted by: Seems legit at March 10, 2017 12:19 PM (U+nHb)

295 18. For example, when he takes a dump, the "woke" guy worries that his poo is opressive to women.



I am so not woke.
Nor do I care to be.

Posted by: rickb223 at March 10, 2017 12:19 PM (4Ru5B)

296 I don't believe you can buy those springs as a DIY.. Well ok, I couldn't a few years ago.
Repair guy said too many people had bits of body parts ripped off trying to pre-tension them.

Posted by: IP at March 10, 2017 12:19 PM (yV4wg)

297 Good start. Where to nail it up though?

Posted by: Luther at March 10, 2017 12:19 PM (XWgNX)

298 But what not many normal people understand is that while they may not
be interested in "woke", "woke" is very interested in them.
***
In the Russian civil war a high percentage of the population didn't want to participate.

The predecessors of the white faction had done a fine job of farking everything up, and the presumption was that the reds would only fark things up in a similiar way - so your average peasant had no dog in the fight.

Of course that ended up not being true...as the peasants would find out after the reds won...

Posted by: 18-1 at March 10, 2017 12:19 PM (X7E8f)

299 My older brother attempted an official shot for the all time high score- there was an Atari rep there and everything.... he was great at it. He was right around 10 million (IIRC) and a breaker tripped in the arcade- game over. He had been playing for hours and they decided not to try again.
Posted by: SSBN 656 (G) at March 10, 2017 12:13 PM (jjaLl)

Oh. My. God. My head would have exploded right then and there.

Posted by: Insomniac - sin valor at March 10, 2017 12:19 PM (0mRoj)

300 There are a lot of home projects I'll DIY but I'll
happily pay the Sears guys to mess with 20 pound springs that can fly
off at warp 9 with no warning.

Posted by: hogmartin at March 10, 2017 12:17 PM (8nWyX)

This. I wouldn't dream of messing with garage door springs. If you inadvertently release a spring under tension I suspect you could be beheaded or eviscerated.

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at March 10, 2017 12:19 PM (SGa2t)

301 The opposite of "woke":

The Brady Bunch

Posted by: Nathan R. Jessup at March 10, 2017 12:19 PM (TixTl)

302 There are a lot of home projects I'll DIY but I'll happily pay the Sears guys to mess with 20 pound springs that can fly off at warp 9 with no warning.
Posted by: hogmartin
-------------

If it were a 6 pound spring, I could help.

Posted by: Barky at March 10, 2017 12:20 PM (ZO497)

303
We need a buzzword for media urinalists who are obsessed with TrumpRusssia. Like they used "birthers" or "truthers"

How about "Ruskies are Coming C*nts"

Nah. Need something shorter.

Posted by: Sphynx at March 10, 2017 12:20 PM (OZmbA)

304 287
I thought fart rape was called shart.

I guess I need to woke the fuck up.


Posted by: Fritz at March 10, 2017 12:18 PM (2Mnv1)

Never ever trust a fart. Or a woke person.

Posted by: Our Country is Screwed at March 10, 2017 12:20 PM (jxbfJ)

305 258 OM-
Martin Luther has you numerically beat by a mile but he did have a much broader theme on which to compose.

Posted by: Headless Body of Agnew at March 10, 2017 12:13 PM (FtrY1)


I agree. I'm not half the man he was.

Posted by: OregonMuse, deplorable since 2004 at March 10, 2017 12:20 PM (Ms8OA)

306 I thought a boyfriend /girlfriend was called "Boo."

I'm about as woke as John McCain is conservative.
Posted by: Seems legit



Bae.
Danish for "shit."

Posted by: rickb223 at March 10, 2017 12:21 PM (4Ru5B)

307 Grage Door Springs : The Silent Killer

Posted by: garrett at March 10, 2017 12:21 PM (+VANB)

308 If you have torsion springs... do not mess with those yourself.

Posted by: fixerupper at March 10, 2017 12:18 PM (8XRCm)



I used to be a tech at an RV dealership service department. Replacing those in awnings was sometimes rather painful.

Posted by: Country Singer at March 10, 2017 12:21 PM (uiwCw)

309 If it were a 6 pound spring, I could help.

Posted by: Barky at March 10, 2017 12:20 PM (ZO497)

Forget it, Barky, it's not pink.

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at March 10, 2017 12:21 PM (SGa2t)

310 Is this like being "turned on" in the sixties? Like hippies? "Turn On and Tune Out."

Because that would be ironic, because I have a notion that's what is actually happening right now on the right and center.

People have turned on the the fact that the liberals who control all the big cultural megaphones in society are propagandist liars, realized their policies are insane, and tuned out from listening to them.

If anybody is "woke" right now, it's us.

Posted by: Agent Cooper at March 10, 2017 12:21 PM (1zARK)

311 I'm curious why you stopped at 34.

Posted by: Luther M. at March 10, 2017 12:21 PM (DMUuz)

312 Don't have to google "de-gloved", just leave torsion springs to the pros

Posted by: IP at March 10, 2017 12:22 PM (yV4wg)

313 Hmm. So, a torsion spring rather an extension spring? Have you tried "Open Sesame"?

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at March 10, 2017 12:06 PM (ZO497)

Yes, didn't work, even tried Rapunzel, Rapunzel let down your hair, still the door sits, quietly mocking me. Fortunately, the repair isn't too horrible, a little over 200 smackers. Last summer I had to replace the logic board when mine shorted out. It worked well, but the wiring got caught in the chain, and then I had to go get 18 gauge speaker wire to rewire the logic board to the sensors. Took a little work, but not too difficult.
This year, a broken spring.
Next year I expect the entire garage to collapse on itself.

Posted by: The Mouse that Roared at March 10, 2017 12:22 PM (7N6ox)

314 I woke up in love this morning.

Posted by: Keith Partridge at March 10, 2017 12:22 PM (zoehZ)

315 276 "Father the Dreamer as Awakened!"
Posted by: Mau-Deb at March 10, 2017 12:16 PM (LTquJ)

==================

"Who the hell is this guy?"
-Paul Mua'dib

Posted by: TheJamesMadison at March 10, 2017 12:22 PM (ELUpj)

316 284 I (a)woke last night to the sound of thunder . . .
Posted by: Sphynx at March 10, 2017 12:16 PM (OZmbA

----

How far off I sat and wondered.

*
*
Started hummin' a song from 1962 . . .

Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius at March 10, 2017 12:22 PM (Dg36k)

317 Grage Door Springs : The Silent Killer
Posted by: garrett at March 10, 2017 12:21 PM (+VANB)

------

No.... they're pretty fucking loud when lets loose.

Posted by: fixerupper at March 10, 2017 12:22 PM (8XRCm)

318 291 What about manspreading, does that count as rape yet?
Posted by: Manspreader at March 10, 2017 12:18 PM (6O2Kd)

Anything a man does that is not perfectly compliant with the ever-changing prog-fem rule book is rape.

Posted by: Insomniac - sin valor at March 10, 2017 12:22 PM (0mRoj)

319 We need a buzzword for media urinalists who are obsessed with TrumpRusssia. Like they used "birthers" or "truthers"

-
Ruthers.

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks. Now worse than Hitler! at March 10, 2017 12:22 PM (Nwg0u)

320 There are a lot of home projects I'll DIY but I'll happily pay the Sears guys to mess with 20 pound springs that can fly off at warp 9 with no warning.
Posted by: hogmartin
---------

Soon, you'll have to mail-order a guy from Amazon to do it.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at March 10, 2017 12:22 PM (ZO497)

321 That oppressed chick on the left is pretty hot.

I think I'm going to go woke off.



Posted by: Dang at March 10, 2017 12:23 PM (8b+oT)

322
If your house smells like a rancid cat box, you might be woke.

Posted by: I'd rather be sprung at March 10, 2017 12:23 PM (CFAp3)

323 >>We need a buzzword for media urinalists who are obsessed with TrumpRusssia. Like they used "birthers" or "truthers"



Puties?

(pronounced 'pooties')

Posted by: Lizzy at March 10, 2017 12:23 PM (NOIQH)

324 I'm woke AF

Posted by: Member Berry at March 10, 2017 12:24 PM (2cfUo)

325 Oh. My. God. My head would have exploded right then and there.

Posted by: Insomniac - sin valor at March 10, 2017 12:19 PM (0mRoj)



I recall a lot of cursing and a lot of shit being thrown around...

Posted by: SSBN 656 (G) at March 10, 2017 12:24 PM (jjaLl)

326
"Awakened" -> too many syllables and hard to fit on a sign.

When you live your live on a tiny hand held screen you fill you life with tiny abbreviations.

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at March 10, 2017 12:24 PM (IqV8l)

327 at my advanced age i am not learning hoodrat lingo and fucked up white folk ebonics. imbeciles.

Posted by: chavez the hugo at March 10, 2017 12:24 PM (KP5rU)

328
I thought a boyfriend /girlfriend was called "Boo."



Boo is SOOOO 2004.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Assault Hobbit & Vaginassassin, aka Beth at March 10, 2017 12:24 PM (4df7R)

329 I woke up in love this morning.
Posted by: Keith Partridge at March 10, 2017 12:22 PM (zoehZ)

----

I believe thats your Alzheimers

Posted by: fixerupper at March 10, 2017 12:24 PM (8XRCm)

330 No springs!

Posted by: Coily the Sprite at March 10, 2017 12:24 PM (7HtZB)

331 I woke next to a hawwwt needy chick and all I had to do was agree with her feminist rant.

Posted by: Spidly at March 10, 2017 12:24 PM (msK0h)

332 >>No.... they're pretty fucking loud when lets loose.


Oh, I know.

They were one of the first things you learned not to fuck with on the Demolition Crew.

Posted by: garrett at March 10, 2017 12:24 PM (+VANB)

333 If you have torsion springs... do not mess with those yourself.

Posted by: fixerupper




Split ring rims.

Posted by: rickb223 at March 10, 2017 12:24 PM (4Ru5B)

334 311 I'm curious why you stopped at 34.
Posted by: Luther M. at March 10, 2017 12:21 PM (DMUuz)

That's the rule.

Posted by: Insomniac - sin valor at March 10, 2017 12:24 PM (0mRoj)

335 That girl in the black up there is hard to look away from...

Posted by: garrett at March 10, 2017 12:25 PM (+VANB)

336 I fart raped the little lady with a Dutch Oven and she got totally woke.

Posted by: Dang at March 10, 2017 12:25 PM (8b+oT)

337 Every time I get "woke" I have to pee.
Posted by: Herr Morgenholz 




Heh -- how's the no smoking thing going?

Posted by: E Depluribus Unum at March 10, 2017 12:25 PM (ZFUt7)

338 328
I thought a boyfriend /girlfriend was called "Boo."


Boo is SOOOO 2004.
Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Assault Hobbit & Vaginassassin, aka Beth at March 10, 2017 12:24 PM (4df7R)

Oh totes.

Posted by: Insomniac - sin valor at March 10, 2017 12:25 PM (0mRoj)

339 278 I remember when junior high school girl 'cool' slang didn't outlast 8th grade. Now it is adopted as clever and cutting edge by retarded adults who still need to be 'cool'. And people wonder why I fear for our culture.

Posted by: JTB at March 10, 2017 12:16 PM (V+03K)


I learned the hard way, when my kids were in their teens, to not adopt their slang because you think it will make you look 'cool' to them. You won't. You'll look like an idiot.

I had to learn to embrace my unhip "Dad" persona.

Posted by: OregonMuse, deplorable since 2004 at March 10, 2017 12:25 PM (Ms8OA)

340 This year, a broken spring.
Next year I expect the entire garage to collapse on itself.
Posted by: The Mouse that Roared
----------

A couple of years ago, a nylon gear in one of our openers gave up. It was one of the few things not on my 'Likely to fail' list. Of, course.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at March 10, 2017 12:25 PM (ZO497)

341 Woke was around in the '60s as black slang. It was sort of the beginning of the whole social justice movement and "black awareness".

Now whitey is trying to use the term and it's pissing off some of the black lefties.

It's all good.

Posted by: JackStraw at March 10, 2017 12:26 PM (/tuJf)

342 This. I wouldn't dream of messing with garage door springs. If you inadvertently release a spring under tension I suspect you could be beheaded or eviscerated.
Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at March 10, 2017 12:19 PM (SGa2t)


-----------------


So it's kind of like field-stripping a cocked M2?

Posted by: Soona at March 10, 2017 12:26 PM (0rpO6)

343 I thought "bae" was just a pseudo-ignorant mispronunciation of "baby" that sprang up on black twitter. (meaning they know damn well it's wrong, but say it wrong anyway to sound authentically urban).

this is correct.

The most fucking annoying way to say girlfriend, boyfriend, crush, or any other sort of significant other. Commonly used by ghetto folks, swagfags, and annoying fucktards

Posted by: Nathan R. Jessup at March 10, 2017 12:26 PM (TixTl)

344 I (a)woke last night to the sound of thunder . . .

Posted by: Sphynx at March 10, 2017 12:16 PM (OZmbA



----



How far off I sat and wondered.

*

*

Started hummin' a song from 1962 . . .



She had points of her own, sitting way up high.....
Way up firm and high...


Sorry, couldn't help it...




Posted by: SSBN 656 (G) at March 10, 2017 12:26 PM (jjaLl)

345
No springs!
Posted by: Coily the Sprite


I got the fever!

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at March 10, 2017 12:26 PM (IqV8l)

346 339 278 I remember when junior high school girl 'cool' slang didn't outlast 8th grade. Now it is adopted as clever and cutting edge by retarded adults who still need to be 'cool'. And people wonder why I fear for our culture.

Posted by: JTB at March 10, 2017 12:16 PM (V+03K)

I learned the hard way, when my kids were in their teens, to not adopt their slang because you think it will make you look 'cool' to them. You won't. You'll look like an idiot.

I had to learn to embrace my unhip "Dad" persona.
Posted by: OregonMuse, deplorable since 2004 at March 10, 2017 12:25 PM (Ms8OA)

I do it deliberately to annoy them.

Posted by: Insomniac - sin valor at March 10, 2017 12:26 PM (0mRoj)

347 I though "bae" was just a pseudo-ignorant
mispronunciation of "baby" that sprang up on black twitter. (meaning
they know damn well it's wrong, but say it wrong anyway to sound
authentically urban). The "before anyone else" thing I thought was just
a later backronym/false etymology thing.



Who knows. Who cares?

Posted by: Warai-otoko at March 10, 2017 12:11 PM (sK2fh)

OMG, I was working for a texting company as a temp in 1996 (back when you couldn't do your own). Most of the texters were from NYC and would force me to misspell words in their texting. It was hell, let me tell you.

Posted by: Miley, the Duchess at March 10, 2017 12:27 PM (tHwdc)

348 Is fart rape when my husband, all my sons, my brothers, my nephews, and my dad all locked the car windows when they farted and then made big sniffing, "that smells so good" noises?

Posted by: dagny at March 10, 2017 12:27 PM (Mc+44)

349 One Woke over the line.

Posted by: Brewer & Shipley at March 10, 2017 12:27 PM (ZO497)

350 Grage Door Springs : The Silent Killer

Posted by: garrett at March 10, 2017 12:21 PM (+VANB)


The springs for my door are 3 feet long with coils that are 4 inches across. nasty mofos. When one of them broke it was at night and it sounded like a tank hit the garage.

Posted by: Berserker- Dragonheads Division at March 10, 2017 12:27 PM (aMlLZ)

351 Even if you're "woke," we already have the term "red-pilled" which is superior anyway.

Posted by: joe, living dangerously at March 10, 2017 12:27 PM (KUaJL)

352 Split ring rims.
Posted by: rickb223 at March 10, 2017 12:24 PM (4Ru5B)

-----

Those things are the bomb.

Literally.

Posted by: fixerupper at March 10, 2017 12:27 PM (8XRCm)

353 Did you forget to mention Pol Pot for his exceptional wokeness.

Apologies if already mentioned. When I'm late to the thread (and when it's Friday) I have more trouble scrolling through on my phone

Posted by: Jingo Unchained! at March 10, 2017 12:27 PM (a36X1)

354 No springs!

Posted by: Coily the Sprite at March 10, 2017 12:24 PM (7HtZB)



Awesome reference! Love the 1950's shorts!!

Posted by: SSBN 656 (G) at March 10, 2017 12:28 PM (jjaLl)

355
9' garage door isn't much of a problem to replace an assist spring on.

Knowing the weight of the door is helpful, but not absolutely necessary. All springs are color coded for capacity, so simply matching colors solves that problem.

I ALWAYS use a safety wire through the middle of the spring, having seem what a chunk of spring coil can do to drywall.

Posted by: irongrampa at March 10, 2017 12:28 PM (X35Yt)

356 "Woke" is the adjective form of "wake" ... as in a funeral.
Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair


Wait, you mean like "An Irish Wet One"? That's what we used to call Irish funeral traditions, also known as wakes. I prefer not to associate the lovely tradition of booze at funerals with these obnoxious womyn's bs.

Posted by: nerdygirl at March 10, 2017 12:28 PM (+lVUW)

357
I thought a boyfriend /girlfriend was called "Boo."

Me and you and a dog named Boo.

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at March 10, 2017 12:28 PM (IqV8l)

358 Yes, didn't work, even tried Rapunzel, Rapunzel let down your hair, still the door sits, quietly mocking me. Fortunately, the repair isn't too horrible, a little over 200 smackers. Last summer I had to replace the logic board when mine shorted out. It worked well, but the wiring got caught in the chain, and then I had to go get 18 gauge speaker wire to rewire the logic board to the sensors. Took a little work, but not too difficult.
This year, a broken spring.

Next year I expect the entire garage to collapse on itself.
Posted by: The Mouse that Roared at March 10, 2017 12:22 PM (7N6ox)


So, I'd say it's about time for you to set fire to your house and collect the insurance money so's you can get a totes fresh start.

Posted by: OregonMuse, deplorable since 2004 at March 10, 2017 12:28 PM (Ms8OA)

359 Soon, you'll have to mail-order a guy from Amazon to do it.
Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at March 10, 2017 12:22 PM (ZO497)


There actually is (or was) an Amazon subcontracting service where you could (depending on the area) put in various service calls through the website. One of them was people who would bring goats out to your property to trim overgrown grass. If they manage to combine lawn goats and drone delivery, I think that would be the coolest thing ever.

Posted by: hogmartin at March 10, 2017 12:28 PM (8nWyX)

360 This. I wouldn't dream of messing with garage door springs. If you inadvertently release a spring under tension I suspect you could be beheaded or eviscerated.
Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at March 10, 2017 12:19 PM (SGa2t)


-----------------


So it's kind of like field-stripping a cocked M2?
Posted by: Soona



Kinda like removing a McPherson strut with compressing the spring.

Posted by: rickb223 at March 10, 2017 12:28 PM (4Ru5B)

361 Oh, I adopt the kids's slang and overuse it with a sarcastic tone so they stop. My favorite was "jump off" (as in quit bitching about that). I was able to use it every time they opened their mouths. They quit in a hurry.


But I'm a bitch like that.

Posted by: dagny at March 10, 2017 12:29 PM (Mc+44)

362 I didn't really enjoy Two Woke Girls, I just didn't find them enjoyable to watch.

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards at March 10, 2017 12:29 PM (xJa6I)

363 I thought a boyfriend /girlfriend was called "Boo."

--

Thought that was Bae.

Posted by: joe, living dangerously at March 10, 2017 12:29 PM (KUaJL)

364 One of them was people who would bring goats out to your property to trim overgrown grass.




Did they hump them while on break?

Posted by: rickb223 at March 10, 2017 12:29 PM (4Ru5B)

365 317
Grage Door Springs : The Silent Killer

Posted by: garrett at March 10, 2017 12:21 PM (+VANB)



------



No.... they're pretty fucking loud when lets loose.

Posted by: fixerupper at March 10, 2017 12:22 PM (8XRCm)

Man's gotta know his limitations, springs that can remove hands is a limit I won't push owing to any silly macho inclinations.

Posted by: The Mouse that Roared at March 10, 2017 12:29 PM (7N6ox)

366 307
Garage Door Springs : The Silent Killer

They ain't so silent when they go SPROING!

Had a friend who had the inside of his arm split open all the way from the elbow to the shoulder by one of those things. Like they been saying, don't mess with 'em.

Posted by: Tom Servo at March 10, 2017 12:30 PM (KeRkT)

367 I got some "woke" right fucking here for the little snowflakes.

Posted by: Killerdog at March 10, 2017 12:30 PM (iKuGK)

368 OK. I know IEDs are a thing all over the ME.

Do they ever make mechanical type traps?
Or are explosives just too easy to come by to make it worthwhile?

Posted by: garrett at March 10, 2017 12:30 PM (+VANB)

369 110 It's all a bunch of Gnostic shit in the end.
Posted by: Brother Cavil at March 10, 2017 11:55 AM (V1M8q)
-------------------------
Yep, Gnosticism all the way.
The hatred of Creation (and the Creator God) is obvious, especially in the rebellion against sexual reality.


Posted by: Margarita DeVille at March 10, 2017 12:30 PM (Nox3c)

370 >>Oh, I adopt the kids's slang and overuse it with a sarcastic tone so they stop.


We do that, too
Especially fun to use recently outdated slang (like "boo" and "yo!") and pretend to be cool.

Posted by: Lizzy at March 10, 2017 12:30 PM (NOIQH)

371 362 I didn't really enjoy Two Woke Girls, I just didn't find them enjoyable to watch.
Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards at March 10, 2017 12:29 PM (xJa6I)

It was a clever name for Kat Dennings' cleavage, but I don't really see why they had the blonde chick featured so prominently.

Posted by: joe, living dangerously at March 10, 2017 12:31 PM (KUaJL)

372 323

Putrids?

Posted by: Jingo Unchained! at March 10, 2017 12:31 PM (a36X1)

373 I'd like to show those girls what they woke.

In my pants.

Posted by: Mr. Peebles at March 10, 2017 12:31 PM (oVJmc)

374
What annoys me in part is that they couldn't use correct English. "Awakened." How hard is that?


Woke is a four letter word and the left loves using four letter words stop oppressing them with your grammar rules h8er.

Posted by: Deplorable Male Logic at March 10, 2017 12:31 PM (lKyWE)

375 Soon, you'll have to mail-order a guy from Amazon to do it.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at March 10, 2017 12:22 PM (ZO497)

==========

I can see him now ... rappelling down from a drone.

Posted by: ShainS at March 10, 2017 12:31 PM (mt8X9)

376 So, I'd say it's about time for you to set fire to
your house and collect the insurance money so's you can get a totes
fresh start.


Posted by: OregonMuse, deplorable since 2004 at March 10, 2017 12:28 PM (Ms8OA)

Days like today have me looking for the cigar lighter.

Posted by: The Mouse that Roared at March 10, 2017 12:31 PM (7N6ox)

377 If ace is woke, would that make him an Ewoke?

Posted by: an indifferent penguin at March 10, 2017 12:31 PM (QrBXe)

378

I HATE:

bae

Ima

Hella

Ima gone

should of

(and more)

Posted by: Sphynx at March 10, 2017 12:31 PM (OZmbA)

379 Dear Country Singer,
We are planning on replacing our Dometic 17 foot awning ourselves this summer. My BAE and I are mechanically inclined and have watched all the DIY videos. Any tips?
Best
UF

Posted by: Under Fire at March 10, 2017 12:31 PM (X+rUO)

380 Apparently, "Smut" has been commandeered to mean something like slut, but used as "mah smut."

Posted by: dagny at March 10, 2017 12:31 PM (Mc+44)

381 Woke up this morning, got myself a gun

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nW3LikcBL68

Posted by: josephistan at March 10, 2017 12:31 PM (7HtZB)

382 I'd call it working under the table. Because I'm an adult. And not a pimp.

Posted by: buzzion at March 10, 2017 12:14 PM (z/Ubi)

Swedes used to call this svarta pengar , ie "black money." I wonder if they're still using that term.
With such a high tax rate, everyone who can pull it off has under the table income.

Posted by: Miley, the Duchess at March 10, 2017 12:31 PM (tHwdc)

383 Did they hump them while on break?
Posted by: rickb223 at March 10, 2017 12:29 PM (4Ru5B)


Nope, they just totes goats.

Posted by: hogmartin at March 10, 2017 12:32 PM (8nWyX)

384 I ALWAYS use a safety wire through the middle of the spring, having seem what a chunk of spring coil can do to drywall.
Posted by: irongrampa at March 10, 2017 12:28 PM (X35Yt)

=======

When one of ours let loose it went all the way through a hollow core door.

Posted by: Flyboy at March 10, 2017 12:32 PM (N7iyg)

385 18a, extra points for doing it on an elevator, bonus if you get off before anyone notices, extra bonus if you get off the elevator before anyone notices you getting off, triple overtime bonus if you shut off the fan.

Posted by: DaveA at March 10, 2017 12:32 PM (8J/Te)

386 I'm surprised garage door springs haven't been outlawed.

Posted by: Crusader at March 10, 2017 12:32 PM (ewSN2)

387 Woke was around in the '60s as black slang. It was sort of the beginning of the whole social justice movement and "black awareness".

Posted by: JackStraw at March 10, 2017 12:26 PM (/tuJf)


Huh. I wish I had known that before I wrote this piece.

Horde knowledge is teh awesome.

Posted by: OregonMuse, deplorable since 2004 at March 10, 2017 12:32 PM (Ms8OA)

388 If ace is woke, would that make him an Ewoke?

By all appearances, he is still unwoke today.

Posted by: Circa (Insert Year Here) at March 10, 2017 12:33 PM (B+qrE)

389 11. These blue-on-blue slap fights will be hilarious to watch.

Incomplete without hipster slapfight vid.

Posted by: weft cut-loop at March 10, 2017 12:33 PM (4YGWz)

390 "Teh" is another one!

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at March 10, 2017 12:33 PM (IqV8l)

391 May have been addressed already. I haven't read all the comments, but I'm hoping that "transgendered women", in other words "men" participating in sports as women leads to some serious bitch slapping between actual female athletes and trannies.

Posted by: nerdygirl at March 10, 2017 12:33 PM (+lVUW)

392 310,
"Turn On and Tune Out."

It went "Turn on, tune in, drop out" "Woke is closest to the "tune in." The academe's PC/SJWs to the "turn on" part to the students.

Posted by: geoffb5 at March 10, 2017 12:34 PM (d3wbb)

393 Woke = you're spelling it wrong.

Posted by: Every Boater on the Internet at March 10, 2017 12:34 PM (8J/Te)

394 Boo is SOOOO 2004.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Assault Hobbit & Vaginassassin, aka Beth at March 10, 2017 12:24 PM (4df7R)

"Me and you, and a dog named Boo."

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at March 10, 2017 12:34 PM (WDdjT)

395 heheh...Fart Rape!

If thats the case...then why do I get thrown out of bed when I light up the sky??


Posted by: dananjcon at March 10, 2017 12:34 PM (WLK0w)

396 I don't think the Church of Woke can be reformed.

There has to be schism.

Posted by: Steve and Cold Bear at March 10, 2017 12:34 PM (vRcUp)

397
"Split ring rims."

Those were one of our terror inventions.

Posted by: Muslims at March 10, 2017 12:35 PM (W6Ch1)

398 It is no accident that the Left's race-baiting took off after the Soviet Empire fell apart.





The commies had always planned on using race war to revolutionize the Americas. Read Obama's precursor communist Richard Wright's opus "Native Son" for that (1930s-early 40s). Taught in schools often, except not in my kids' school anymore after I embarrassed the hell out of the English department over it. Didn't demand they quit teaching it, just asked how, exactly, were they going to put it into political and historic perspective? Huh? Huh?

Posted by: dagny at March 10, 2017 12:35 PM (Mc+44)

399 278 I remember when junior high school girl 'cool' slang didn't
outlast 8th grade. Now it is adopted as clever and cutting edge by
retarded adults who still need to be 'cool'. And people wonder why I
fear for our culture.

Posted by: JTB at March 10, 2017 12:16 PM (V+03K)



We as a culture now exalt stupidity, and adulate the stupidest people among us, who go out of their way to be seen as unintelligent.

Yet paradoxically they deeply resent being considered stupid, despite cultivating that image (and starting out with a natural advantage in doing so).

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at March 10, 2017 12:35 PM (SGa2t)

400 I'm telling you, Woke Man Fur Oil.

It's going to be a thing.

I'm taking pre-pre-IPO stock orders right now.

Posted by: TexasDan at March 10, 2017 12:36 PM (yL25O)

401 I woke with a woody, therefore I am.


And shit.



Posted by: dananjcon at March 10, 2017 12:36 PM (WLK0w)

402 May have been addressed already. I haven't read all the comments, but I'm hoping that "transgendered women", in other words "men" participating in sports as women leads to some serious bitch slapping between actual female athletes and trannies.

-
Transgendered minister says God is transgender. See WZ.

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks. Now worse than Hitler! at March 10, 2017 12:36 PM (Nwg0u)

403 368
OK. I know IEDs are a thing all over the ME.



Do they ever make mechanical type traps?

Or are explosives just too easy to come by to make it worthwhile?





Posted by: garrett at March 10, 2017 12:30 PM (+VANB)

Good question. In Iraq, the IED's were almost exclusively artillery or mortar rounds, and I remember hearing an estimate that there was more ammunition in Iraq than in the United States. They had these massive Ammo Storage Points that were as large as little cities.

Afghanistan they dug up mines and repurposed them, but also created ammonium nitrate explosives for IED's. Somehow they had access to PETN to build suicide vests unless they were coming from elsewhere.

Posted by: The Mouse that Roared at March 10, 2017 12:36 PM (7N6ox)

404 Regarding #14 I've come to the conclusion that the emotional development of millenials ended somewhere during their freshperson year of highschool.

Posted by: Chairman LMAO at March 10, 2017 12:36 PM (hOUtM)

405 It puts the woke upon its skin.
Or else it gets the hose again.

Posted by: Darth Chipmunk at March 10, 2017 12:37 PM (t41dG)

406 If thats the case...then why do I get thrown out of bed when I light up the sky??



Because you're a rapist, duh.

Posted by: dagny at March 10, 2017 12:37 PM (Mc+44)

407 Bae, bae, bae, um gonna leave u.
I said bae, u no um gonna leave u.


-Woke Zeppelin

Posted by: Nathan R. Jessup at March 10, 2017 12:37 PM (TixTl)

408 Your garage door should have a manual disconnect from the drive chain, likely near the door end of the track.


If it's an old style, wood door and the Spring is not functioning it's gonna be heavy...

So, lift with your back, not your knees.
Posted by: garrett

or, if you were a man, lift with the car.

Posted by: Blue Hen at March 10, 2017 12:37 PM (326rv)

409 >>400 I'm telling you, Woke Man Fur Oil.


I saw that and I was all like, Gweneth, bae, Ima come over and totes oil ur fur ANY time.

Posted by: Sphynx at March 10, 2017 12:37 PM (OZmbA)

410 >>Transgendered minister says God is transgender. See WZ.


Is he dyslexic, too?

Dude, God is not made in *your* image.

Posted by: Lizzy at March 10, 2017 12:37 PM (NOIQH)

411 We as a culture now exalt stupidity

-
Maxine Waters was stupid before it was cool.

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks. Now worse than Hitler! at March 10, 2017 12:38 PM (Nwg0u)

412 Woke me. Woke me.
Could be a winner boy you move mighty well
Woke me. Woke me. (Woke!)
Woke me. Woke me.
You got your number down
Woke me. Woke me.
Say you're a winner but man you're just a sinner now

Posted by: Billy Squier at March 10, 2017 12:38 PM (JO9+V)

413 Fart rape is a legitimate concern. If you are bothered by something someone does, but they are not bothered by you doing the same thing, they have an advantage. They can torment you.

Posted by: Steve and Cold Bear at March 10, 2017 12:38 PM (vRcUp)

414 Personal theory that if I don't give into the farting displays with a reaction, the guys don't bother trying to get a reaction. Works pretty well. I find, "I'm bored with your antics" ennui pretty much shuts down the peacock displays.

Posted by: dagny at March 10, 2017 12:38 PM (Mc+44)

415 >>Huh. I wish I had known that before I wrote this piece.

Well it sort of went into hiding when the 60s/early 70s movement burned out. I assume it probably stayed alive in the social justice left but Whitey McWhiterson didn't hang out there.

But I remember hearing it even back in the day from the hipsters on the left.

The whole era was about waking up to the new consciousness, Age of Aquarius bullshit.

What's old is new again.

Posted by: JackStraw at March 10, 2017 12:38 PM (/tuJf)

416 386 I'm surprised garage door springs haven't been outlawed.

Posted by: Crusader at March 10, 2017 12:32 PM (ewSN2)

=============

We're working on it ...

Posted by: Lobbyists for Bifold Door Manufacturers at March 10, 2017 12:38 PM (mt8X9)

417 I've been fart raped and I can't get up!

Posted by: Woko Ono at March 10, 2017 12:38 PM (NA4Je)

418 >>I saw that and I was all like, Gweneth, bae, Ima come over and totes oil ur fur ANY time.


Bae's so sex-positive! What an ally.

Posted by: Lizzy at March 10, 2017 12:38 PM (NOIQH)

419 This scans like Norman Mailer's "Hip/Square" chart in 'Advertisements For Myself;' "woke" will probably turn out to be just as time-bound as Mailer's assessment.

Is "hip" the antecedent for "woke?"



Posted by: General Zod at March 10, 2017 12:38 PM (Bdeb0)

420 O/T - Was just told Sunday beer sales to begin in Minnesota this summer for the first time in 159 years.

Little step towards sanity?

Posted by: IP at March 10, 2017 12:39 PM (yV4wg)

421 Woke: Getting pegged.
Normal: Laughing at a guy who is getting pegged.

Das stimmt?

Posted by: General Zod at March 10, 2017 12:39 PM (Bdeb0)

422 I just luv it when OM climbs up on his soapbox and gets all ranty.

Well done.

Posted by: GnuBreed at March 10, 2017 12:39 PM (xpfRn)

423 Good question. In Iraq, the IED's were almost exclusively artillery or mortar rounds, and I remember hearing an estimate that there was more ammunition in Iraq than in the United States. They had these massive Ammo Storage Points that were as large as little cities.

Afghanistan they dug up mines and repurposed them, but also created ammonium nitrate explosives for IED's. Somehow they had access to PETN to build suicide vests unless they were coming from elsewhere.

Posted by: The Mouse that Roared at March 10, 2017 12:36 PM (7N6ox)


'THERE IS MORE AMMUNITION IN IRAQ THAN ANY PLACE I'VE EVER BEEN IN MY LIFE, AND IT IS NOT ALL SECURABLE' THE US ARMY ENGINEERING AND SUPPORT CENTER, HUNTSVILLE CAPTURED ENEMY AMMUNITION AND COALITION MUNITIONS CLEARANCE MISSION, 2003-2008

http://tinyurl.com/hetdr83

Posted by: RWC - Team BOHICA at March 10, 2017 12:39 PM (2x9LM)

424 Sudden wokedness:

https://twitter.com/Ethan_Booker/status/840239109436248064

h/t Popehat

Posted by: Mama AJ, nice person, not a witch at March 10, 2017 12:40 PM (gTQoY)

425 God is pure spirit, he (pronoun used only b/c Jesus used "our father') had no "gender" or "sex."

Posted by: dagny at March 10, 2017 12:40 PM (Mc+44)

426 >Transgendered minister says God is transgender. See WZ.


Is he dyslexic, too?




God is Dog?

Posted by: rickb223 at March 10, 2017 12:40 PM (4Ru5B)

427
Old and busted: Wake and Bake
New Hotness: Woke and Toke

Posted by: Fritz at March 10, 2017 12:40 PM (2Mnv1)

428 318
291 What about manspreading, does that count as rape yet?

Posted by: Manspreader at March 10, 2017 12:18 PM (6O2Kd)



Anything a man does that is not perfectly compliant with the ever-changing prog-fem rule book is rape.

Posted by: Insomniac - sin valor at March 10, 2017 12:22 PM (0mRoj)

Miss the good ole days when there were to major rules -1) Don't stare at a woman's assets lest she catches you. Awkward!2) Don't ever ask a woman if she is pregnant unless you can see the kid crowning.

Posted by: Our Country is Screwed at March 10, 2017 12:40 PM (jxbfJ)

429
-Woke Zeppelin
Posted by: Nathan R. Jessup at March 10, 2017 12:37 PM (TixTl)


Woke on the water
Deep Purple

Posted by: Deplorable Male Logic at March 10, 2017 12:40 PM (lKyWE)

430 All this woke...I need a nap.

Posted by: Diogenes at March 10, 2017 12:41 PM (0tfLf)

431 May have been addressed already. I haven't read all the comments, but I'm hoping that "transgendered women", in other words "men" participating in sports as women leads to some serious bitch slapping between actual female athletes and trannies.

Posted by: nerdygirl at March 10, 2017 12:33 PM (+lVUW)


There are indeed some feminists who are mad as hell at men who dress up as women and try to appropriate the privileges that aren't really theirs.

These feminists are called TERFs, which means

Trans-Exclusionary Radical Feminist. That group of feminists that claims that trans women aren't really women, as biological determinism is only a fallacy when it used against them, not when they use it against others.

Posted by: OregonMuse, deplorable since 2004 at March 10, 2017 12:41 PM (Ms8OA)

432 Oh, I adopt the kids's slang and overuse it with a sarcastic tone so they stop. My favorite was "jump off" (as in quit bitching about that). I was able to use it every time they opened their mouths. They quit in a hurry.


But I'm a bitch like that.

Posted by: dagny

(statement made by myself when waiting for my stepdaughter after band practice, who was making a point about how I needed to wait):

"never fret homegirl. It will give me time to rap with your posse." She as never moved toward the door faster before or since.

Posted by: Blue Hen at March 10, 2017 12:41 PM (326rv)

433 427

Old and busted: Wake and Bake
New Hotness: Woke and Toke


Posted by: Fritz at March 10, 2017 12:40 PM (2Mnv1)

If she is woke, does she poke?

Posted by: Our Country is Screwed at March 10, 2017 12:41 PM (jxbfJ)

434 247 Am I the only one who's noticed that the letters in "woke" can be rearranged to spell "ewok"?

--

All you have to do to the word is take its ass and move it on top of its head. Apt metaphor, dontcha think?

Posted by: Johnny Pedantic at March 10, 2017 12:41 PM (1g2sy)

435 Is "hip" the antecedent for "woke?"

Posted by: General Zod


Precedent, you mean.
*tightens bow tie*

Posted by: weft cut-loop at March 10, 2017 12:41 PM (4YGWz)

436 I thought a boyfriend /girlfriend was called "Boo."

No, that's the dog.

Posted by: Lobo at March 10, 2017 12:41 PM (X6fMO)

437 We had a garage door torsion spring let go when we were home. Sounded like a grenade going off. Repair guy replaced it with a much more robust one. When he wound up the new spring he was struggling. Now it's set at atomic level.

Posted by: Under Fire at March 10, 2017 12:41 PM (X+rUO)

438 Woke on the water

Deep Purple
Posted by: Deplorable Male Logic at March 10, 2017 12:40 PM (lKyWE)
______________________________


Woke on the Wild Side?

Posted by: IP at March 10, 2017 12:41 PM (yV4wg)

439 Posted by: Under Fire at March 10, 2017 12:31 PM (X+rUO)


Buy it as a complete assembly: with the awning already installed on the tube and the springs in and wound. Buying all the parts separately and then assembling them is a massively time consuming task and it's very easy to tear/gouge the awning fabric when sliding it onto the tube. Plus you have to deal with winding the springs. You're looking at about two hours of frustrating work with two people. By getting the thing factory assembled you just have to unbolt the old tube from the tops of the arms (being careful of the spinning springs!), bolt the new roller and awning assembly on, and remove the cotter pins from the springs. 15 minutes, tops.

Posted by: Country Singer at March 10, 2017 12:41 PM (uiwCw)

440 Batman's arch nemesis is The Woker.

Posted by: josephistan at March 10, 2017 12:41 PM (7HtZB)

441 Woo-hoo, No springs _MST3K

Posted by: Coily the Spring Sprite at March 10, 2017 12:41 PM (suO/a)

442 Posted by: Blue Hen at March 10, 2017 12:41 PM (326rv)

LOL.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at March 10, 2017 12:42 PM (fDdVG)

443 O/T - Was just told Sunday beer sales to begin in Minnesota this summer for the first time in 159 years.

Little step towards sanity?


Posted by: IP at March 10, 2017 12:39 PM (yV4wg)

**
No beer on Sunday??Sounds like hops rape.
Animals.


Posted by: dananjcon at March 10, 2017 12:42 PM (WLK0w)

444 These feminists are called TERFs, which means

Trans-Exclusionary Radical Feminist. That group of feminists that claims that trans women aren't really women, as biological determinism is only a fallacy when it used against them, not when they use it against others.
Posted by: OregonMuse, deplorable since 2004 at March 10, 2017 12:41 PM (Ms8OA)

TERFs are fascinating because they're so radically wrong that they wrap around the way and are actually right about some things (specifically that there are natural distinctions and differences between men and women).

Posted by: joe, living dangerously at March 10, 2017 12:42 PM (KUaJL)

445 387 Woke was around in the '60s as black slang. It was sort of the beginning of the whole social justice movement and "black awareness".

Posted by: JackStraw at March 10, 2017 12:26 PM (/tuJf)

Huh. I wish I had known that before I wrote this piece.

Horde knowledge is teh awesome.
Posted by: OregonMuse, deplorable since 2004 at March 10, 2017 12:32 PM (Ms8OA)



Well it's not like any of the people using it currently would have any clue of it existing back then either.

Posted by: buzzion at March 10, 2017 12:43 PM (z/Ubi)

446 Your garage door should have a manual disconnect from the drive chain, likely near the door end of the track.





If it's an old style, wood door and the Spring is not functioning it's gonna be heavy...



So, lift with your back, not your knees.

Posted by: garrett

They are a pain in the fourth point of contact...

Posted by: The Mouse that Roared at March 10, 2017 12:43 PM (7N6ox)

447 I woke up in my clothes again this morning
I don't know exactly where I am...

Posted by: Sting at March 10, 2017 12:43 PM (ewSN2)

448 Woke this way...

Posted by: dananjcon at March 10, 2017 12:43 PM (WLK0w)

449 The evil patriarchy video, if you haven't already seen it:

http://tinyurl.com/z4u55kt

Posted by: Mama AJ, nice person, not a witch at March 10, 2017 12:43 PM (gTQoY)

450 Transgendered minister says God is transgender.

And then came the seriously stupid theology.

Applying human concepts to the Creator is like trying to explain quantum mechanics with a box of CheezIts. In the dark.

Posted by: Circa (Insert Year Here) at March 10, 2017 12:44 PM (B+qrE)

451 32. Telling normal people what to do is what "woke" people like doing best.

33. And normal people just want to be left alone.


Pretty much sums it up for me. The left thinks that power is compelling others to do what the left wants them to do.

Posted by: wytshus at March 10, 2017 12:44 PM (Pl3Xw)

452 One Woke over the line

Posted by: Brewer and Shipley at March 10, 2017 12:44 PM (W6Ch1)

453 The BBC pundit's children video is NOT FUNNY. It's patriarchy in a nutshell
--------

Oh shut the hell up

Posted by: RWC - Team BOHICA at March 10, 2017 12:44 PM (2x9LM)

454
The Wawyers were unable to Woke-ate the Wegal Precident.

Posted by: Tom Brokaw at March 10, 2017 12:44 PM (OZmbA)

455 O/T - Was just told Sunday beer sales to begin in Minnesota this summer for the first time in 159 years.

Little step towards sanity?
Posted by: IP

I'm sooo tired of listening to people whine about 'blue laws' as if they just averted the Salem witch trials.....after the dear leader gave a real theocracy everything they wanted.

Posted by: Blue Hen at March 10, 2017 12:44 PM (326rv)

456 >>Precedent, you mean. tightens bow tie*Posted by: weft cut-loop at March 10, 2017 12:41 PM (4YGWz)

If' I'd meant "precedent," I'd have used it, but thanks.

Posted by: General Zod at March 10, 2017 12:44 PM (Bdeb0)

457 434 247 Am I the only one who's noticed that the letters in "woke" can be rearranged to spell "ewok"?

--

All you have to do to the word is take its ass and move it on top of its head. Apt metaphor, dontcha think?
Posted by: Johnny Pedantic at March 10, 2017 12:41 PM (1g2sy)

/starts looking around nervously ... sees the shadow of the Ban hammer, like a cloud blocking the sun....

Posted by: Don Q. at March 10, 2017 12:44 PM (NgKpN)

458 421 Woke: Getting pegged.
Normal: Laughing at a guy who is getting pegged.

Das stimmt?
Posted by: General Zod at March 10, 2017 12:39 PM (Bdeb0)



Normal: being kind of ashamed you know what getting pegged means.

Posted by: buzzion at March 10, 2017 12:45 PM (z/Ubi)

459 It's very easy to kill these stupid terms. Every
one of us that are over 50 years old start using them in conversations
with these silly children.



Woke would die overnight.

Posted by: Soona at March 10, 2017 12:16 PM (0rpO6)

Heh - did that while interacting with a hysterical lefty on 11/9. I told her to "get woke" and she said "OMG, did you actually use WOKE to me?!"

"Yes, I actually used WOKE to you."
Friend had to delete the post. They always do when I show up. Which is why I usually don't show up. And why I'm leaving FB. What's the fucking point?

Posted by: Miley, the Duchess at March 10, 2017 12:45 PM (tHwdc)

460 I didn't really enjoy Two Woke Girls, I just didn't find them enjoyable to watch.

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards at March 10, 2017 12:29 PM (xJa6I)



The one with the huge tracks of wokes is definitely enjoyable to watch

Posted by: TheQuietMan at March 10, 2017 12:45 PM (OE2ur)

461 I don't get it - Oregon not stomped yet?

Posted by: @votermom @vm at March 10, 2017 12:46 PM (Om16U)

462 Transgendered minister says God is transgender.

----

So, God - who is by definition beyond the concept of time itself - is not the same gender that He was "born" with.

Riiiiight.

Posted by: joe, living dangerously at March 10, 2017 12:46 PM (KUaJL)

463 398
The commies had always planned on using race war to revolutionize the Americas. Read Obama's precursor communist Richard Wright's opus "Native Son" for that (1930s-early 40s).....
Posted by: dagny at March 10, 2017 12:35 PM (Mc+44)
---------------------------------
Ellison's "Invisible Man" --- IMO the best novel written by an American black and one of the best US novels period --- deals with the subject.

In the end the hero rejects the left because he realizes he and his people are just being used --- which is why the novel isn't assigned nearly as often as it should be, I'm sure.

I re-read it in 2008 and, with it's portrait of the Chicago Left, it gave me chills.

Posted by: Margarita DeVille at March 10, 2017 12:46 PM (Nox3c)

464 I'm woking on sunshine, yeah-ah!

It feels good!

Posted by: Count de Monet at March 10, 2017 12:46 PM (JO9+V)

465 460 I didn't really enjoy Two Woke Girls, I just didn't find them enjoyable to watch.

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards at March 10, 2017 12:29 PM (xJa6I)



The one with the huge tracks of wokes is definitely enjoyable to watch
Posted by: TheQuietMan at March 10, 2017 12:45 PM (OE2ur)

Someone needs to dub that show with dialog from "Fawlty Towers" or some other show that was actually funny.

Posted by: josephistan at March 10, 2017 12:47 PM (7HtZB)

466 We do that, too
Especially fun to use recently outdated slang (like "boo" and "yo!") and pretend to be cool.

Posted by: Lizzy at March 10, 2017 12:30 PM (NOIQH)


I over emote in a "look how fucking ridiculous this is" way. I also ask if they can give me the etemology of a current phrase. If you insist on discussing some stupid slang over dinner, they fear using it again because it might set you off.

Of course, I do find parenting via "over discussion" works better than punishments for male children. Works on husbands as well.

Posted by: dagny at March 10, 2017 12:47 PM (Mc+44)

467 Nood woke ace

Posted by: joe, living dangerously at March 10, 2017 12:47 PM (KUaJL)

468 Plus you have to deal with winding the springs. You're looking at about two hours of frustrating work with two people. By getting the thing factory assembled you just have to unbolt the old tube from the tops of the arms (being careful of the spinning springs!), bolt the new roller and awning assembly on, and remove the cotter pins from the springs. 15 minutes, tops.



Or, you drive it to Camping World, drop it off, tell them to replace it, and you'll be back next weekend to pick it up.

Posted by: rickb223 at March 10, 2017 12:47 PM (4Ru5B)

469 Woke on By...

Posted by: Dionne Warwick at March 10, 2017 12:47 PM (WLK0w)

470 The transgender pastor's last name is Wynn. I wonder if he's related to Bill?

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at March 10, 2017 12:47 PM (fDdVG)

471 457 (I meant for the "woke" folks, not anyone around here.)

Posted by: Johnny Pedantic at March 10, 2017 12:48 PM (1g2sy)

472 If they manage to combine lawn goats and drone delivery, I think that would be the coolest thing ever.
Posted by: hogmartin
----------

With god as my witness, I thought goats could fly.

Posted by: Arthur Carlson at March 10, 2017 12:48 PM (ZO497)

473 Country Singer-we were thinking about the assembled unit.
read:pricey
The old tube is kind of shot anyway. I think you just helped our decision. Thanks.

Posted by: Under Fire at March 10, 2017 12:48 PM (X+rUO)

474 "Woke" You mean the cool kids invented another way of dividing people into "Us" and "Them"? Why I never would have expected that!

Funny, there are so many ways to divide "Them" from '"Us" there are now far more "Them" than "Us". If "Them" ever got annoyed with "Us", well, it would not be a very long fight.

Rise up my fellow "Them"! You only have your annoyance with "Us" to lose!

Posted by: Shaun King at March 10, 2017 12:48 PM (16OL0)

475 >>The evil patriarchy video, if you haven't already seen it:



http://tinyurl.com/z4u55kt




Love the little one rolling in all by himself.

Why is that the patriarchy?
That happens all the time on conference calls when I work from home (yay mute button), and it's common to hear kids or dogs in the background from others working from home.

Posted by: Lizzy at March 10, 2017 12:48 PM (NOIQH)

476 I'm woking on sunshine, yeah-ah!
It feels good!


I know what you're trying to do here, but it reads like you've got a solar powered stir fry pan.

Posted by: Blanco Basura at March 10, 2017 12:49 PM (4WhSY)

477 Someone needs to dub that show with dialog from "Fawlty Towers" or some other show that was actually funny.

I can't for the life of me figure out how that show lasted even 1 full season. And before anyone says "bewbs", yeah well the internet is full of bewbs if one can't view them in real life. That show is the single worst show I've ever attempted to watch--I lasted a full 2 minutes of one single episode before realizing that there was absolutely NOTHING compelling about that mashup at all.

Posted by: Crusader at March 10, 2017 12:50 PM (ewSN2)

478
Lena Dunham stars in HBO's latest blockbuster entertainment directed at Millennials -- sex, nudity and bondage run riot in Fifty Shades of Woke!

"The goggles! They do nothing!"

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at March 10, 2017 12:50 PM (v1g1+)

479 With god as my witness, I thought goats could fly.
Posted by: Arthur Carlson
----------


This is terrible! Everyone's running around pushing each other. Oh my goodness! Oh, the humanity! People are running about. The turkeys are hitting the ground like slabs of meat.

Posted by: Les Nessman at March 10, 2017 12:50 PM (ZO497)

480 This is terrible! Everyone's running around pushing each other. Oh my goodness! Oh, the humanity! People are running about. The turkeys goats are hitting the ground like slabs of meat.
Posted by: Les Nessman

Posted by: Les Nessman at March 10, 2017 12:51 PM (ZO497)

481 Lizzy, because the man was working and the women and children just needed to be out of the way.

But I'd bet she was a nanny, not the wife.

Posted by: Mama AJ, nice person, not a witch at March 10, 2017 12:51 PM (gTQoY)

482 In the end the hero rejects the left because he realizes he and his people are just being used --- which is why the novel isn't assigned nearly as often as it should be, I'm sure.


I re-read it in 2008 and, with it's portrait of the Chicago Left, it gave me chills.



Posted by: Margarita DeVille at March 10, 2017 12:46 PM (Nox3c)

The point is that the "races" ARE being used. Even in Native Son Bigger Thomas knows he's being used but the point was that it was OK that he be used for the sake of the collective. It's not like the information on their plan isn't out there, but with the dumbing down of the population along with the triggering they've taught themselves, they can't even look at it.
It's as if the culture taught the population the trigger words (as Ace discussed a couple of days ago) so that when met with any fact that is out there showing what the communist/left/globalist/soros elite plan and want they can't see it because they've all had panic attacks.

Posted by: dagny at March 10, 2017 12:52 PM (Mc+44)

483 I'm woking on sunshine, yeah-ah!
It feels good!
------

Don't wok the boat baby..

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at March 10, 2017 12:52 PM (ZO497)

484 I hate Newspeak.

Posted by: Mortimer - FINISH HER ! at March 10, 2017 12:53 PM (/hasf)

485 I'm a woker. I'm a smoker.

I'm a midnight something-or-other.

Posted by: Steve Miller at March 10, 2017 12:53 PM (PXbkt)

486 Transgendered minister says God is transgender. See WZ.
Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks


"In the beginning, God created human kind, in God's image, God created them male and female, so God is transgender," he said. "So it's important you all remember that."

I don't own a concordance, but I'm guessing this is #FakeExegesis.

Posted by: Steve and Cold Bear at March 10, 2017 12:53 PM (vRcUp)

487
Our grandson, at all of sixteen months old, is slowly becoming "woke" -- yesterday he ate some dirt.

I larfed as I helped him clear it out of his mouth.

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at March 10, 2017 12:53 PM (v1g1+)

488 ... take its ass and move it on top of its head. Apt metaphor, dontcha think?
Posted by: Johnny Pedantic at March 10, 2017 12:41 PM


It's not just metaphor. Behold the magick, the power, the awesomeness of Fur Oil!

Posted by: Gwyneth P., lifestyle guru at March 10, 2017 12:54 PM (DMUuz)

489 This is terrible! Everyone's running around pushing each other. Oh my
goodness! Oh, the humanity! People are running about. The goats are hitting the ground like slabs of meat.

Posted by: Amy Schumer at March 10, 2017 12:54 PM (/hasf)

490 TERF WAR!

Posted by: Headless Body of Agnew at March 10, 2017 12:55 PM (FtrY1)

491 Transgendered minister says God is transgender. See WZ.


Is he dyslexic, too?

Dude, God is not made in *your* image.
Posted by: Lizzy at March 10, 2017 12:37 PM (NOIQH)
---
God has no "society". So if God is any "gender", "gender" is not a social construct. So few people know when to say "corner case" and shelve the label they're trying to make fit.

God is what he is. (Or as He might say it "I am what I am".) In my belief sexual role is a limitation on God. However, in the Christian tradition, he clearly defines himself as "husband" of Israel and "groom" of the Church "bride". And the "Son" of Man refers to him as "Father" (born of "the Father" and Israel).

All the same, I believe it's a mistake to use "masculine"/"feminine" dichotomy/dynamic of pagan mystics too closely. There are clearly human roles in Christianity that are neither "masculine" nor "feminine", even Jesus praises "eunuchs" (or people that have functionally "emasculated" themselves) "for God".

The whole identity as "transgender" takes it too far, and is mostly arguing in the context of sex as idolatry (as I find it). Thus the more a society promotes as the one sure pleasure, the more those people who feel less natural in any broad sexual role are going to feel at unease matched up to those stereotypes.

So there is a thread of truth in that idea, but not enough to be helpful. God is not "gender-fluid" or "intrasex" or anything that self-concerned about defining himself by his perceived harmony to gender roles. He created men and women. He created what testosterone and estrogen does. He doesn't really on the social mirror that we read to decide our role/identity in life. He just is.

Posted by: Axeman at March 10, 2017 12:57 PM (2mC6G)

492 The Left can't have a "Workers Struggle" because their hordes of useful idiots don't actually know what 'work' is if it bit their hyper-sensitive asses.

So they created "woke" and so, "Wokers Struggle!".

It sounds close enough to the Marxist-communist "Workers Struggle!" when liberalsplained (what the rest of us call screeching at the top of their lungs) so they're going with it.

Posted by: DrDeano at March 10, 2017 12:57 PM (cP8Yw)

493 Country Singer-we were thinking about the assembled unit.
read:pricey
The old tube is kind of shot anyway. I think you just helped our decision. Thanks.

Posted by: Under Fire at March 10, 2017 12:48 PM (X+rUO)



One other thing: lube the rail before you slide the awning in (where it attaches to the camper). WD40 works, but I prefered using Remington DriLube. Also, whichever end you're sliding it in from, bend the lips slightly outward so the edges don't snag and tear the awnign fabric. Just bend them back when it's in place.

Posted by: Country Singer at March 10, 2017 12:58 PM (uiwCw)

494 Mein Fuhrer!

I can woke!

Posted by: Wernher Von Strangelove. at March 10, 2017 01:00 PM (NA4Je)

495 Wokers of the world unite!

Posted by: Strobe at March 10, 2017 01:01 PM (gbWkA)

496 Your significant other.

Before

Anybody

Else.

BAE.

Posted by: fixerupper
------
Thank you. My niece uses that all the time on Facebook, and while I'm sure I could've easily looked it up, I'm too tired these days to give a shit about the new slang terms.

Posted by: Biergood at March 10, 2017 01:01 PM (v8Lx/)

497 We'll meet again, don't know where, don't know when...

Posted by: Strobe at March 10, 2017 01:01 PM (gbWkA)

498 97 I never trust anyone who declares he is awake (or "woke") and everyone else is asleep. The reality is not that the general public is asleep and only you are awake. The reality is that the general public doesn't care about the same things you do.

I.e., I'm not "woke" to the 10th Amendment. I'm resigned to the fact that nobody else gives a shit about it.
Posted by: wooga at March 10, 2017 11:53 AM (3I7wr)


I feel the same way about "woke" as I do when I hear "sheeple". These are people who typically feel very strongly about sweeping changes to complex systems they don't understand.

Posted by: Ace's liver at March 10, 2017 01:01 PM (Xuv2G)

499 This is just more of that matrix crap isn't it?

Posted by: Strobe at March 10, 2017 01:03 PM (gbWkA)

500 Agree with #86 IllTemperedCur: "Woke" is another word for "enlightened", just another way to allege who has "gnosis" and who doesn't.

The thing about sleep, is that you can't have a reasonable conversation with somebody who is sleeping. They won't respond to any good argument about their snoring. So it's just another way to characterize somebody who is annoyingly disagreeing with you.

Posted by: Axeman at March 10, 2017 01:04 PM (2mC6G)

501 I was WOKE when I was 12. Dropped out of HS in 1966 at the ripe age of 15. Started selling antiques full time. By 1972 I owned my own building in Dallas design district, went to Europe 5 times a year buying and paid cash for a MB 280 SL. I was so WOKE , my lifer Dad, short bird Marine, called his Dallas detective bud on the suspicion that I was selling drugs. Nobody I knew of worked harder than I did and I mean work, not sitting on my can ordering other people around. I would like to think that is what they mean by WOKE but I know it's really the opposite. Working is WOKENESS

Posted by: nsirchov at March 10, 2017 01:05 PM (1TcdB)

502 445 387 Woke was around in the '60s as black slang. It was sort of the beginning of the whole social justice movement and "black awareness".

Posted by: JackStraw at March 10, 2017 12:26 PM (/tuJf)

Huh. I wish I had known that before I wrote this piece.

Horde knowledge is teh awesome.
Posted by: OregonMuse, deplorable since 2004 at March 10, 2017 12:32 PM (Ms8OA)


Well it's not like any of the people using it currently would have any clue of it existing back then either.
Posted by: buzzion at March 10, 2017 12:43 PM (z/Ubi)



Wait... So the people using it today are guilty of cultural appropriation?

Posted by: rickl at March 10, 2017 01:10 PM (zoehZ)

503 Woke was around in the '60s as black slang. It was sort of the
beginning of the whole social justice movement and "black awareness".


So it's cultural appropriation?


Kewl.

Posted by: Mr. Peebles at March 10, 2017 01:11 PM (oVJmc)

504 Wait... So the people using it today are guilty of cultural appropriation?

Posted by: rickl at March 10, 2017 01:10 PM (zoehZ)


So it would seem. That's why the slapfights are going to be GREAT!

Posted by: OregonMuse, deplorable since 2004 at March 10, 2017 01:12 PM (Ms8OA)

505 Don't Woke me Bro!

Posted by: lynndh at March 10, 2017 01:15 PM (DaWUf)

506 I think I have never had such utter contempt for so many other members of my own sex.

Posted by: Nan at March 10, 2017 01:20 PM (HUejd)

507 279 If it's an old style, wood door and the Spring is not functioning it's gonna be heavy...

So, lift with your back, not your knees.

Posted by: garrett at March 10, 2017 12:11 PM (+VANB)


My door is a 16-17 foot wood door. When one of my springs broke it took 3 people to lift it. Its like neutron star heavy.
Posted by: Berserker- Dragonheads Division at March 10, 2017 12:16 PM (aMlLZ)

I have the same issue. No friends I could call on though so I used the floor jack to prop it up about a foot high and the garage door opener was able to lift the door with a little help from yours truly.

Yeah, when the spring broke I was right under it-thought I was a goner.

Posted by: WinLinBSDAdmin at March 10, 2017 01:24 PM (B11vO)

508 Ev'rybody
fart rapes somebody
sometime...

Posted by: Dino, farting at March 10, 2017 01:26 PM (UW4Uc)

509 From the Urban Dictionary:

Woke
A state of perceived intellectual superiority one gains by reading The Huffington Post.

"Ali is so woke. At brunch she explained how wearing anything other than Chuck Taylor's or Tom's is really a microaggression. Hey did you get your Amy Schumer tickets yet?"

Posted by: Alan Edwards at March 10, 2017 01:27 PM (IDrEh)

510 I've been FARTWOKE

Posted by: Smity27 at March 10, 2017 01:27 PM (g9d8D)

511 God is nongenderous.

Posted by: Mathers at March 10, 2017 01:43 PM (mDmux)

512 "2. "... you know what "class consciousness" is but you reject it, because you know it's bullcrap."

Yes, like the deplorable Trumpenproletariat.

Posted by: Jim at March 10, 2017 02:11 PM (golr6)

513 Wow, OregonMuse! It's been a while. And this is a great article. Seems to be a lot of good'uns on AOS today.

Posted by: Corona at March 10, 2017 04:26 PM (3/A/K)

514 Sleepwoking?

Posted by: Marty at March 10, 2017 10:32 PM (B1udd)

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