Thanksgivingmanship: Your Guide to Surviving The Progressive Imbeciles Who Have Spent a Week Cramming on How to Survive You

Oxford Don Stephen Potter introduced the world to the principles of Gamesmanship, the way to win at games by resort to cheap ploys which were very close to cheating without being technically cheating. He later expanded his inquiries into the general field of "Lifemanship," the discipline of embracing life in a dickish and hostile spirit, sabotaging social rivals without quite breaching social etiquette.

Given that the progressive elder-children-yet-not-quite-adults you'll be encountering this Thanksgiving (who I will henceforth refer to as "grownchildren") will be armed to the teeth with Vox explainers and Obamacare propaganda, I herewith humbly submit these first sketches of a new branch of Lifemanship I call "Thankgivingmanship," which I define as the gentle art of insulting the stupid without alerting them to the fact that they've been insulted at all.

It is the goal of the dedicated Thanksgivingman, then, to achieve the sublime art of giving offense without offense being taken.

My basic strategy is thus: It would be as rude of you as it is rude of your cretinous grownchildren kin to allow a Thanksgiving dinner into a stupid game of Rachel Maddow Talking Points and their rebuttals.

So, rather than confront the unemployed idiots who will be assailing you, I propose instead to superficially avoid conflict and engagement on their dummy mouthflappings, and appear instead to agree with them.

But -- and here is the point -- a skilled Thanksgivingman will only appear to agree with the grownchildren to feeble intellects, such as those possessed by the grownchildren themselves. Instead of disagreeing with them -- which will cause argument and anger -- you will instead claim to agree with them, while in fact contradicting them, subverting them, of baffling them with statements that nearly, but do not quite, make sense.

Our definitions and mission now established, we turn to the first of our three primary Thanksgivingmanship gambits:

The Neutral or Nonsensical Statement Disguised as Agreement.Progressives do not process language the same way human beings do; they chiefly adduce meaning from tone and body language, like dogs.

This means that you can say many things which are either irrelevant, nonsensical, or otherwise not in agreement with the progressive subcreatures you're temporarily amidst so long as you deliver your words with a warm smile and a lot of nodding.

You may also use uptalk to express an insincere solidarity. As with dogs and babies, progressives find artificially high-pitched vocal tones to be soothing and possibly a prelude to Walkies and Snackies.

Whenever a progressive grownchild says something stupid and ignorant, which will be always, do not engage on the merits. Progressive grownchildren will become highly emotional and agitated at the slightest show of disagreement, and may wet the floor or claw at the furniture.

Instead, say something which is either neutral or nonsensical (which successfully communicates your true beliefs to other real human beings capable of deciphering obvious meaning) while deploying smiling, nodding, and uptalk to falsely convey agreement with to the more-stunted intellect of the grownchild.

For example, if a progressive grownchild says, "Rachel Maddow is just so amazing," you can respond by nodding and saying "Absolutely, Rachel Maddow is without doubt a mammal." (Or: "A mammal...?")

Possible responses to common grownchild mouthchatter include:

"Well I see that the 'Faux Noise Machice' has gotten everyone riled up about so-called 'terrorism' again."

"Doubtless! Terrorists only win when allow them to make us afraid, or dead." (Or: "Afraid, or dead...?")

"Can't people see that stupid cons are doing Just What ISIS Wants us to do?"

"It's so obvious-- the attacks in Paris weren't just an attack on human lives. They were an attack on our shared human capacity to be alive." ("To be alive, and stuff...?")

This is a very simple one, which can be deployed in a variety of contexts:

"None of this is Obama's fault -- he's doing the best he can to keep America out of another War of Choice."

"Boy that Obama-- he is really something, isn't he?"

As the evening wears on, and you are preparing to depart, you may become somewhat more blatant in your stealth insults, like so:

"I just read an explainer about this on Vox."

"Today's world is so remarkable! When I was young, we had to read books and derive our own thinking for ourselves. What a time to be alive, when sounding vaguely informed is no longer a luxury of the intellectual, but a cheaply assembled ware available to the common man!"

Fake Statistics. It was my old friend Boston Irish who alerted me to this ticklish little trope, when he observed that no matter how absurd the statistic you proposed to a progressive, if that statistic seemed to call attention to whatever bugaboos xhe was excited about, xhe would respond with a gushing "I know, right?!"

He demonstrated this to me at a party by interrupting a couple of liberals talking, and announcing to them:

"You know, based on current statistics, in ten years, the entire state of California will be homeless."

"Right! I know!" came the response.

By the way, that is not schtick. That is not a joke written for this blogpost. I was really there, he really said that, that really happened.

After having secured the agreement to his obviously-crank "statistics," he turned to me with a slightly arched eyebrow and sipped his beer in quiet triumph.

This propensity of grownchildren to agree to whatever fantastical "studies" and "statistics" you propose to them can be exploited for much private merriment at the holidays.

Other gambits include:

* "You know, the average family of four pays more in ATM fees to the Big Banksters than they spend on rent."

* "By the year 2030, global warming predicts that the entire North American landmass will be flooded by seawater and wolves."

* "99.4% of the world's wealth is controlled by six-tenths of a single person."

* "More people are killed every year by shooting accidentally shooting themselves than who died in all the wars in the world combined, except for the Korean War."

You need to throw that "Except for the Korean War" in at the end because the claim, on its face, is too preposterous, so you deduct out Korean War deaths to bring it into the real of the plausible. (Plausible, that is, for progressive grownchildren.) It makes like you've done the math and just have to make this one little adjustment to get the numbers to work.

You may follow Boston Irish's trope of the obviously-crank "liberal study" claim, or you can try your hand at claims which are simply baffling nonsense:

* "Studies have proven that if you have a gun in your house, you are more in danger of being struck by lightning than being bitten by a rattlesnake. Think about it."

A minor variation of the Fake Statistic ploy is the Fake Profundity gambit, in which you propose some ludicrous "deep thought" which derives not from social science, but from your own personal philosophical inquiry.

For example, this one is best delivered with chin uplifted, Obama-style, and a metaphysical glaze of the eye:

* "For what is it that gives the terrorists power -- their weapons, or our primitive, irrational fear that they will kill us with their weapons?"

It is generally a useful practice to prefix such bits of nonsense with faux-biblical language, such as "For what..." or "Lo" and "Thus and so."

Fake Quotes. Progressives love fake quotes -- they just love dressing up whatever passes for this week's SJW Conventional Wisdom and attributing it to some historic figure.

Generally, these historic figures are very well known, because progressives don't know any historic figures except the very well known. Thomas Jefferson is always a popular choice. For "bad sounding quotes," Hitler is preferred. Napoleon and Marcus Aurelius may be deployed as well, but be prepared for some confused looks as to who it is you're talking about.

Offering a ridiculous quote can bring you and any other lively minds at the table great amusement. Your target will probably not notice the quote is fake, because he is an imbecile, and also because you'll have a serene, self-satisfied smile on your face as you say it, which he will read as "A Fellow Progressive in Discursive Mode."

This minor camouflage will permit you to smuggle huge amounts of nonsense in the guise of Wisdom of the Ancients.

Feel free to subvert your noddingsmiles with messages that are blatantly mottos of the NRA, if only the grownchild could understand simple words, which they cannot.

For example:

"Wasn't it Mahatma Gandhi who said, 'It is not necessarily the first man to shoot who wins the battle, but it is always the last man shooting who wins the day'?"

"As Gertrude Stein said" -- and I should say here that this gambit works best when you pronounce this name, for no particular reason, in an outrageous German accent, as Gaertruude Schteinn.

So, let's begin again: "As Gaertruude Schteinn observed, 'The man who is slowest to arm himself is quickest to savor the bounties of Heaven.'"

Another gambit is to offer up the following quotes, which are applicable in a wide range of situations.

"I forget which scientist said it, maybe Neil DeGrasse Tyson, but it's worth repeating: 'Wars of religion always make me laugh because basically you're fighting over who has the best imaginary friend.'"

Or:

"A great philosopher, Gaertruud Von Schteinn, once said, 'Fear causes hesitation, and hesitation will cause your worst fears to come true'?"

You will get big nods for these Aphorisms of the Sages. You yourself can take pleasure in the knowledge that both quotes are from the movie Point Break, delivered by Johnny Utah (Keanu Reaves) and Bodhi (Patrick Swayze), respectively.

If you get any verbal expressions of agreement, a "hear-hear" or an "amen," you can extend the joke by saying, "In the words of the spiritual master Boddhisatva, 'You can do what you want, and make up your own rules. Why be a servant to the law, when you can be its master...?" or "Six seconds and we're going to be meat waffles.'"

Make this trope your own. Have fun with it. If you want to claim that it was Niccolo Machiavelli who first advised, "Sweep the leg, Johnny," go with it, but try to get your more subtle Fake Quotes in before "going big" like that.

A Final Word. At some point, even an experienced Thanksgivingman will go too far, and give his game away. At that point, there will be sulks and silences, and the Thanksgivingman will have actually failed at his goal, which is to give offense without offense being taken.

In such straits, the Thanksgivingman, in order to be the polite person he wishes to be, will have to apologize -- it is the verminous grownchildren who have come to bicker and strife, after all, not the well-mannered Thankgivingman.

However, for the zealous Thanksgivingman, even an apology can be exploited for further Thanksgivingmanship points.

For example, if the childanimal you are speaking with declares:

"You're micro-aggressing me."

...then be sure to respond,

"Ah, then please sincerely accept my most micro apologies."

Posted by: Ace at 04:35 PM




Comments

(Jump to bottom of page)

1 I like the movie, too, ace. But it was a bit long.

Posted by: Harry Paratestes at November 24, 2015 04:34 PM (AkOaV)

2 Perhaps dining alone for the Holidays is not such a bad thing!

Posted by: Rino sanctuary at November 24, 2015 04:34 PM (+TwI8)

3 But that Kate Upton lesbian scene was amazing

Posted by: Harry Paratestes at November 24, 2015 04:34 PM (AkOaV)

4 Did I happen to mention that Mitch McConnell is a dastardly devious piss-ant little punk bitch?

Posted by: Rino sanctuary at November 24, 2015 04:36 PM (+TwI8)

5 Holy shit, Ace! This will (happily) take a good portion of my remaining day to read, since today is dragging like crazy...

Posted by: Lea at November 24, 2015 04:36 PM (lIU4e)

6 By the year 2025 everybody will wear dresses and makeup, except professional basketball players and pimps.

Posted by: Eromero at November 24, 2015 04:36 PM (b+df9)

7 saying "Absolutely, Rachel Maddow is without doubt a mammal." (Or: "A mammal...?")


**********
'
Could I say-- MANamal?

Posted by: Danube River Guide at November 24, 2015 04:37 PM (mcm0N)

8 Yo!

Posted by: Yo! at November 24, 2015 04:37 PM (GwIKd)

9 I see the annual Holiday Movie Review has arrived.

Posted by: Zombie Georgia O'Keefe at November 24, 2015 04:37 PM (fCzIg)

10 Dat's a lot of words.......

Posted by: Yo! at November 24, 2015 04:38 PM (GwIKd)

11 Snap observations:


Uh oh. Gamesmanship and Lifemanship brings back memories of a distant post that if memory serves did not go over well.


"Mouthchatter" has the potential to be a thing.


Off to get a shower since I picked up a metric ton of leaves. I'll read the rest after.

Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at November 24, 2015 04:38 PM (4ErVI)

12 *seethes*

This is utter genius and I am not at all bitterly jealous that you wrote this and I didn't.

*seethes*

*plots in corner*

Posted by: alexthechick - love and despair bitches at November 24, 2015 04:38 PM (mf5HN)

13 Looks much more complicated than my standard "fuck you" to all liberals.

Posted by: Weasel at November 24, 2015 04:39 PM (e3bId)

14 Looks much more complicated than my standard "fuck you" to all liberals.


Agreed.

"Fvck you. My house, my food. GTFO"

Posted by: rickb223 at November 24, 2015 04:40 PM (hQt/L)

15 Are you going to a house where there will be a lot of leftists present, Ace? If so, I'm sorry.

Thank God, there will only be conservatives here. I'd hate to have a afternoon/evening of gamesmanship over politics,

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at November 24, 2015 04:40 PM (No/ki)

16 "You know, based on current statistics, in ten years, the entire state of California will be homeless."


*********

Even Barbra Streisand?!1!

Posted by: Danube River Guide at November 24, 2015 04:40 PM (mcm0N)

17 "Ah, then please sincerely accept my most micro apologies."

Easily the best comeback to the "microaggression" meme that I have heard anywhere.

Posted by: Grey Fox at November 24, 2015 04:40 PM (bZ7mE)

18 CLASSIC, Ace!

Posted by: Lizzy at November 24, 2015 04:41 PM (NOIQH)

19 Non-sequiturs work well, too. In response to: I think it's shameful that European countries are closing their borders:

Did you know that George Stephanopolous is really Scandinavian?

Posted by: kathysaysso at November 24, 2015 04:41 PM (3MG12)

20 As Michael Moore said ' Thanksgiving will be over before I both, finish eating and reading a blog post about Thanksgiving debates"

Posted by: Max Rockatansky at November 24, 2015 04:41 PM (2d71x)

21 I'm a long-time Stephen Potter fan, and found your pastiche right on the money. Nice job!

Posted by: Joe Louderback at November 24, 2015 04:41 PM (R/X0B)

22 I READ IT ALL!

FINISHED!

WOOOHOOO. Time for a drink.

Posted by: Harry Paratestes at November 24, 2015 04:42 PM (AkOaV)

23 So, it is no longer correct to just say, "BITE MY ASS, FOOL!!"

Posted by: tcn in AK at November 24, 2015 04:42 PM (+YMhA)

24 >>You yourself can take pleasure in the knowledge that both quotes are from the movie Point Break, delivered by Johnny Utah (Keanu Reaves) and Bodhi (Patrick Swayze), respectively.

ROTFL

Posted by: Lizzy at November 24, 2015 04:42 PM (NOIQH)

25 15 Are you going to a house where there will be a lot of leftists present, Ace? If so, I'm sorry.


He lives in NYC.

Posted by: Max Rockatansky at November 24, 2015 04:43 PM (2d71x)

26 Of course, if you're attending a party you can introduce yourself as Johnny Utah and throw that quote out there.

Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at November 24, 2015 04:43 PM (4ErVI)

27 Awesome, ace.

Posted by: ReactionaryMonster at November 24, 2015 04:43 PM (0NdlF)

28 I liked Potter's books a great deal. His best advise: when you have a doctor's appointment, especially with a doctor who treats you like a half-witted five year old, try to time things out so you get an "extremely important" phone call and make the doctor wait while you, in nothing but socks, talk about nothing at all for twenty minutes or so.

Posted by: Satan of Cloggenstein Vt at November 24, 2015 04:43 PM (qSIlh)

29 I think liberals want to induce their acolytes to stir the shit at Thanksgiving dinner as part of their program to get parents to rethink their views on abortion.

Posted by: Jay Guevara at November 24, 2015 04:43 PM (oKE6c)

30 He lives in NYC.
Posted by: Max Rockatansky at November 24, 2015 04:43 PM (2d71x)

ace probably does Friendsgiving.

Posted by: Harry Paratestes at November 24, 2015 04:44 PM (AkOaV)

31 So, it is no longer correct to just say, "BITE MY ASS, FOOL!!"



When it's no longer correct to say it, the terrorists have won.

Posted by: rickb223 at November 24, 2015 04:44 PM (hQt/L)

32 But that Kate Upton lesbian scene was amazing

How did they resolve the virgin into the volcano subplot after that?

Posted by: ReactionaryMonster at November 24, 2015 04:44 PM (0NdlF)

33 Ok, the Gertrude Stein pronunciation got me.

Posted by: Burn the Witch at November 24, 2015 04:44 PM (Wckf4)

34 More please. Taking notes here.

Posted by: Dave S. at November 24, 2015 04:44 PM (mhkbv)

35 How about micro passivity?

Posted by: Bitter Clinger and All That at November 24, 2015 04:44 PM (Xo1Rt)

36 It would be much, much easier to just slip some Ambian or something similar into their first drink and then lock them in a closet for the rest of the day. Better yet, forget to invite the insufferable pricks.

Posted by: William Teach at November 24, 2015 04:45 PM (Nyq7O)

37 Sesquipedalianism works well, though not as well as it used to.

Also, if a grownchild attempts to use fakestistics or improfundities against your position, accuse them of being insensitive to your needs (or culturally imperialistic, as appropriate).

Posted by: Merovign, Dark Lord of the Sith at November 24, 2015 04:45 PM (bLnSU)

38 I bet the Fast and the Furious movies are a good source of fake-astute quotes, too....

Posted by: Lizzy at November 24, 2015 04:46 PM (NOIQH)

39 Much approach is much simpler:

"Fuck you asshole, get out of my face"

And that's to close family members...What i say to strangers is even better.

My give a shit about other people's feelings is empty

Posted by: Nevergiveup at November 24, 2015 04:46 PM (DUoqb)

40 100% of Economists and construction managers say there is no way Trump can build a wall with Mexico in his first term!

!!

Posted by: Yo! at November 24, 2015 04:46 PM (GwIKd)

41 name, for no particular reason, in an outrageous German accent, as Gaertruude Schteinn.

**********

I don't know why faux German cracks me up.

Posted by: Danube River Guide at November 24, 2015 04:46 PM (mcm0N)

42 And of course, in keeping with current events, if they start in on cultural appropriation, ask them if they *meant* to sound like they were restricting other people's behavior based on skin color.

Posted by: Merovign, Dark Lord of the Sith at November 24, 2015 04:46 PM (bLnSU)

43 this only works with a large gathering, right?

And one you dislike in general but have to show up for.

In other words, you don't care if you're invited next year or not.

or is it; all family allowed?

Posted by: Bitter Clinger and All That at November 24, 2015 04:47 PM (Xo1Rt)

44 Also, if a grownchild attempts to use fakestistics or improfundities against your position, accuse them of being insensitive to your needs (or culturally imperialistic, as appropriate).



Point & yell, "You cultural approbate!"

Posted by: rickb223 at November 24, 2015 04:47 PM (hQt/L)

45 Posted by: Max Rockatansky at November 24, 2015 04:43 PM (2d71x)

Well, if he sat in his room alone he could play both parts-stupid leftist making dumb comments and sharp conservative making clever comebacks-without ever having to worry about his blood pressure rising.

Why don't people say "Let's put a moratorium on politics for the four hours we're together?".

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at November 24, 2015 04:47 PM (No/ki)

46 *clap, clap, clap*

That was awesome Ace - thank you for the laughs!

Posted by: Syracuse1989 at November 24, 2015 04:47 PM (6r2Z/)

47 "BITE MY ASS, FOOL!!"

===

LAMONT! YOO BIG DUMMY!

Posted by: Bigby's Chicken Fingers at November 24, 2015 04:47 PM (3ZtZW)

48 How much talking can be done when gorging one's self anyway? The minute they start talking just ask "Is something wrong with the food?" When they say "No it's fine" immediately resume eating. Don't make eye contact. Look at the food.

Posted by: Naes at November 24, 2015 04:47 PM (Ypc8j)

49 * holds up sign

'10'

Posted by: Foghorn Leghorn at November 24, 2015 04:47 PM (UhRGU)

50 A work of brilliance. Should be preserved in the National Archive for being culturally, historically, and aesthetically significant.

Posted by: Randy HelicopterSalesman at November 24, 2015 04:48 PM (0AQcb)

51 >>>it was Niccolo Machiavelli who first advised, "Sweep the leg, Johnny,"




Ace, you magnificent varmint...
I read your Post!

Posted by: Garrett at November 24, 2015 04:48 PM (fCzIg)

52
I want to know what Thanksgiving dinner would be like at Ace's house. I mean what would he cook and/or serve us? Entertaining the Ace of Spades way!

Drinks?
appetizers?
First course?
Main course?
Desert?
apertifs?

Posted by: Mustapha Kunt -- With a Wang! at November 24, 2015 04:49 PM (iQIUe)

53 G-ddammit. Off, silly movie sock.

Posted by: chiefjaybob at November 24, 2015 04:49 PM (0AQcb)

54 I have rented a rather large wood chipper for the occasion and have it disguised out back as a 'safe space' for my liberal relatives...

Posted by: Rino sanctuary at November 24, 2015 04:49 PM (+TwI8)

55 I've already warned my substantial collection of Not Quite Real Friends on Facebook that I'm sending them a fruitcake if they post those damn articles.


That oughta nip that shit in the bud.

Posted by: Burn the Witch at November 24, 2015 04:49 PM (Wckf4)

56 Don't make eye contact. Look at the food.

===

Stab em with your fork

Posted by: Bigby's Chicken Fingers at November 24, 2015 04:49 PM (3ZtZW)

57 ace probably does Friendsgiving.
Posted by: Harry Paratestes at November 24, 2015 04:44 PM (AkOaV)


Ha.

Posted by: Lea at November 24, 2015 04:49 PM (lIU4e)

58 do you know that the Center for Disease Control has done a peer-reviewed study that proves that more people are stabbed to death over Thanksgiving than any other meal?

Posted by: Satan of Cloggenstein Vt at November 24, 2015 04:49 PM (qSIlh)

59 Why don't people say "Let's put a moratorium on politics for the four hours we're together?".




Because some will never abide by the rules.

Posted by: rickb223 at November 24, 2015 04:49 PM (hQt/L)

60 "33 Ok, the Gertrude Stein pronunciation got me."

Once when I was a bartender, I was rattling off the beers on tap which included Spaten which I pronounced Spot-in. An annoying pajama boy type corrected me "Actually, its schhhpaten". He was not served another drink.

Posted by: Benji Carver at November 24, 2015 04:50 PM (OD2ni)

61 That post is best read with a glass of wine. And not the cheap ass hobo stuff.

Posted by: Roy at November 24, 2015 04:50 PM (VndSC)

62 Don't make eye contact. Look at the food.

===

Stab em with your fork



Make eye contact with them and chew with your mouth open.

Posted by: Suppressed Flasher at November 24, 2015 04:51 PM (X+nFp)

63 Sen. Marco Rubio
tells Sean Hannity that hed hate to use Congress power of the purse to block Obamas refugee resettlement program. Hed prefer to opt for Speaker Rep. Paul Ryans
plan, which would allow the President to resettle 85,000 or more refugees this year from countries including Somalia, the Congo and Syria.


What? Is he fuckin kidding. Is it April 1st? And someone is supporting that lying prick?

Posted by: Nevergiveup at November 24, 2015 04:51 PM (DUoqb)

64 Brilliant. I rate it 5 Ewoks.

Posted by: USA at November 24, 2015 04:51 PM (tfM+W)

65 One I've liked to use on occasion: go further to the left than your interlocutor, so he has to start arguing your position.

"Well I see that the 'Faux Noise Machice' has gotten everyone riled up about so-called 'terrorism' again."


"You bet! And isn't about time we stopped shaming terrorists, and said something good about terrorism? Besides which, [insert liberal city here, preferably where the interlocutor lives] is so crowded! A little terrorism could help traffic congestion, and that would help fight global warming. Because that's the real threat."


The hard part being, of course, to keep a straight face, and to deliver the lines with a convincing demeanor.

Posted by: Jay Guevara at November 24, 2015 04:51 PM (oKE6c)

66 "Actually, its schhhpaten".

Nope. Spay-ten.

Posted by: Bigby's Chicken Fingers at November 24, 2015 04:51 PM (3ZtZW)

67 "Actually, its schhhpaten". He was not served another drink.

Posted by: Benji Carver

And YOU get a luge in your beer, and YOU get a..

Posted by: Bruce at November 24, 2015 04:52 PM (8ikIW)

68 To you unemployed niece/nephew cousin brother sister related by marriage third husband/wife

"How is that job search progressing?"

Posted by: THDeering at November 24, 2015 04:52 PM (GFR/U)

69 Why don't people say "Let's put a moratorium on politics for the four hours we're together?".


Because they know I might be there

Posted by: Nevergiveup at November 24, 2015 04:52 PM (DUoqb)

Posted by: Comrade Arthur at November 24, 2015 04:52 PM (h53OH)

71 agree and mockify.

Posted by: x at November 24, 2015 04:52 PM (57fhp)

72 Make eye contact with them and chew with your mouth open.

===

Offer to lick *their* plate.

Posted by: Bigby's Chicken Fingers at November 24, 2015 04:52 PM (3ZtZW)

73 59
A lot of them don't know that everything they say is somehow political. It's all pervasive. They can't even talk about food without going into GMO, free range, organic, factory farms, pesticides, blah, blah, blah. And that always segues into climate change.

Posted by: Naes at November 24, 2015 04:52 PM (Ypc8j)

74 Can you believe Ted Cruz gave corporate energy bigwigs hundreds of millions of dollars for some failed company called Solyndra! Freaking one percenters.

Posted by: Max Rockatansky at November 24, 2015 04:52 PM (2d71x)

75
97% of liberal jihadist recognize Barack Obama, but only 74% recognize Secretary of State Howdy Doody as a man of honor and trustworthiness.

Posted by: Doctor Fish at November 24, 2015 04:52 PM (OiFtZ)

76 To you unemployed niece/nephew cousin brother sister related by marriage third husband/wife

"How is that job search progressing?"

Posted by: THDeering at November 24, 2015 04:52 PM (GFR/U)

" did you get accepted at Ditch digging School yet"?

Posted by: Nevergiveup at November 24, 2015 04:53 PM (DUoqb)

77 I'd give Ace a five, one of The Best!

Posted by: Carol at November 24, 2015 04:53 PM (sj3Ax)

78 Why don't people say "Let's put a moratorium on politics for the four hours we're together?"



I don't you understand the psychology: they want to have a row. It's their payoff. Then they can go back to Hipsterville and use the argument to score hip points with the other baristas.

Posted by: Jay Guevara at November 24, 2015 04:53 PM (oKE6c)

79 I was looking at recipies for stuffed baked onions. They looked good. HOw come no one likes those?

Posted by: Mustapha Kunt -- With a Wang! at November 24, 2015 04:53 PM (iQIUe)

80 "Actually, its schhhpaten".

Nope. Spay-ten.
Posted by: Bigby's Chicken Fingers"


Oh, so in addition to being an a-hole, he was wrong. I'm glad I cut his ass off. Thanks.

Posted by: Benji Carver at November 24, 2015 04:53 PM (OD2ni)

81 actually, why not just embrace being a big white dumb rightwing dummy...memorize the lines that we're suppose to say, like from the sNL sketch:

I saw an ISIS, he was trangendered.

Posted by: joe-impeachin44 at November 24, 2015 04:53 PM (WrPMG)

82 Make eye contact with them and chew with your mouth open.


Your not suppose to do that? Now your going to tell me burping and farting are out?

Posted by: Nevergiveup at November 24, 2015 04:53 PM (DUoqb)

83 To you unemployed niece/nephew cousin brother sister related by marriage third husband/wife



"How is that job search progressing?"



Posted by: THDeering at November 24, 2015 04:52 PM (GFR/U)




A well-timed awkward question of that sort, delivered with a wide-eyed Pollyanna-like demeanor, can definitely put a pin in a hipster's balloon.

Posted by: Jay Guevara at November 24, 2015 04:54 PM (oKE6c)

84 " did you get accepted at Ditch digging School yet"?


Hey, the world needs them.

Posted by: Judge Schmales at November 24, 2015 04:54 PM (OD2ni)

85 Little known fact: Rachel Maddow played "Squints" in the 1993 cult classic "The Sandlot". Look it up.

Posted by: tu3031 at November 24, 2015 04:54 PM (YFFpo)

86 Okay. I read the post. It's to much to remember. I'll be the normal kind of antagonist to these leftwards.

"Let's take this outside, bitch".

Posted by: Soona at November 24, 2015 04:54 PM (Fmupd)

87 OK gots to go.

Kid noticed it snowed and he's all We gotta get a TREE Dad! We. Gotta. Get. A. Tree.


He's cute. But the glint in his eyes ....disturbs me.

Posted by: Bigby's Chicken Fingers at November 24, 2015 04:54 PM (3ZtZW)

88 ***"He was not served another drink."***


Shoulda pulled the Alternate Universe Nick from It's A Wonderful Life on him.

Posted by: Burn the Witch at November 24, 2015 04:55 PM (Wckf4)

89 I saw an ISIS, he was trangendered.

Posted by: joe-impeachin44 at November 24, 2015 04:53 PM
.........I saw a werewolf drinking a pina colada at Trader Vic's...His hair was perfect!

Posted by: Minnfidel at November 24, 2015 04:55 PM (Z46PQ)

90 My wife's college roommate became a maternity ward nurse back in the day when they had all the babies in a giant nursery ghetto that you could look at through the big window. She told her that she and her coworkers would, when handling the babies, coo, "Oh, you're such an ugly baby. You must have hideous parents" while snuggling and primping them.

We got a big laugh out of that. What we did not realize is those babies all grew up to be progressives. I think Pajama Boy was one of them.

Posted by: Xerxes at November 24, 2015 04:55 PM (Uq9ly)

91
Oh, so in addition to being an a-hole, he was wrong. I'm glad I cut his ass off. Thanks.

===

Oh Hell, I was just fkn around. Might be he was right

Posted by: Bigby's Chicken Fingers at November 24, 2015 04:55 PM (3ZtZW)

92 I have just been Acesplained.

Posted by: Bill H at November 24, 2015 04:55 PM (Baojj)

93 Offer to lick *their* plate again.

Posted by: Bigby's Chicken Fingers at November 24, 2015 04:52 PM (3ZtZW)

Posted by: Jay Guevara at November 24, 2015 04:55 PM (oKE6c)

94 Or after they give you their oh so clever talking point you go "Sling Blade" on them-

I like a way you talk. Uh huh

Posted by: Suppressed Flasher at November 24, 2015 04:56 PM (X+nFp)

95 I would like to thank that there actually are liberals who aren't reading Vox or whatever and just want to go eat their TG dinner without all the arguments.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at November 24, 2015 04:56 PM (No/ki)

96 Gertrude stein was an american from san francisco. she wasn't german.

and she DID end up looking like picasso's portrait of her! amazing.

Posted by: musical jolly chimp at November 24, 2015 04:56 PM (WTSFk)

97

I think my deep thoughts quotes will be from 80 s dance music


Especially Safety Dance and Relax

Posted by: ThunderB at November 24, 2015 04:56 PM (zOTsN)

98 83 To you unemployed niece/nephew cousin brother sister related by marriage third husband/wife



"How is that job search progressing?"



Posted by: THDeering at November 24, 2015 04:52 PM (GFR/U)



A well-timed awkward question of that sort, delivered with a wide-eyed Pollyanna-like demeanor, can definitely put a pin in a hipster's balloon.



A cousin Eddy question.

Posted by: rickb223 at November 24, 2015 04:56 PM (hQt/L)

99 "As Saul Alinsky said, the best thing in life is to crush your enemies, see them driven before you, to hear the lamentions of their women"

Posted by: kbdabear at November 24, 2015 04:56 PM (GrXXa)

100 Now you know how the Indians felt when the first Thanksgiving`s feast conversation took a strange turn!

Posted by: Rino sanctuary at November 24, 2015 04:56 PM (+TwI8)

101 Good job, straight AoS work...

One would think that you would get some national play on a timely article like this.

Who's your publicist?

Posted by: jwest at November 24, 2015 04:56 PM (Zs4uk)

102 Might be he was right

Posted by: Bigby's Chicken Fingers

Not to be an know it all, but he was

Posted by: Bruce at November 24, 2015 04:56 PM (8ikIW)

103 I love "my most micro apologized."

Posted by: Carol at November 24, 2015 04:57 PM (sj3Ax)

104 Just do what I do when my conspiracy theorist chemtrail nutjob freeloading brother in law shows up. Start drinking early and often.

Posted by: Minnfidel at November 24, 2015 04:57 PM (Z46PQ)

105 "Shoulda pulled the Alternate Universe Nick from It's A Wonderful Life on him."

Heh. I would like to see someone accuse Nick of committing a micro-aggression. "Out you go, pixie."

Posted by: Benji Carver at November 24, 2015 04:57 PM (OD2ni)

106 The problem is all this drawing of red lines.......

Posted by: Mallamutt, RINO President for Life at November 24, 2015 04:57 PM (tPxcP)

107 GS was a horrible human being from NYC and moved to France. Great art collector, terrible person. Not German

Posted by: ThunderB at November 24, 2015 04:57 PM (zOTsN)

108 55 I've already warned my substantial collection of Not Quite Real Friends on Facebook that I'm sending them a fruitcake if they post those damn articles.
That oughta nip that shit in the bud.
Posted by: Burn the Witch at November 24, 2015 04:49 PM (Wckf4)



Burn out the source: shitcan Facebook.


Problem solved.

Posted by: Jay Guevara at November 24, 2015 04:57 PM (oKE6c)

109 Isn't it a shame that President Obama was forced to accept millions of dollars from Goldman Sachs in 2008 and 2012? Those banksters suck so much.

Posted by: Monsieur Mew Mew at November 24, 2015 04:58 PM (0LHZx)

110 I just don't have a liberal that comes to Thanksgiving to have these games with anymore. The problem in the past has been....the grownchildren....have taken psychological offense to my father...who tends to not give a fuck...and now they sit there quiet and every time he says something which we know butt-hurts their precious liberal sensibilities...we all snicker and stare at them, almost daring a retortand they sit their...quietly...because they don't want none...

Posted by: JBrother at November 24, 2015 04:58 PM (1yRRq)

111 Tell the grownchildren that the turkey was cooked using Liz Warren's old family recipe. Ask them to Google it.

Posted by: Roy at November 24, 2015 04:58 PM (VndSC)

112 I believe it was Marx who said "you got a pretty mouth".

Posted by: Mallamutt, RINO President for Life at November 24, 2015 04:59 PM (tPxcP)

113 actually, why not just embrace being a big white dumb rightwing dummy...memorize the lines that we're suppose to say, like from the sNL sketch:
I saw an ISIS, he was trangendered.
Posted by: joe-impeachin44 at November 24, 2015 04:53 PM (WrPMG)


And yet, it always seems to be somebody else at the party claiming that conservatives make those comparisons, while actual conservatives sit there rolling their eyes and hoping the subject passes back into polite party conversation...

Posted by: Lea at November 24, 2015 04:59 PM (lIU4e)

114 But that Kate Upton lesbian scene was amazing
Posted by: Harry Paratestes at November 24, 2015 04:34 PM (AkOaV)

####

Can you post a link.
Asking for a friend.

Posted by: The Man from Athens at November 24, 2015 05:00 PM (bGG6f)

115 My sister and her husband, who are staunch democrats. .




. . are voting for Trump.

Posted by: THDeering at November 24, 2015 05:01 PM (GFR/U)

116 For example, this one is best delivered with chin uplifted, Obama-style, and a metaphysical glaze of the eye:

You forgot the part where he stares off into the distance pensively.
Time to go watch Being There.

Posted by: nerdygirl at November 24, 2015 05:01 PM (kGrwF)

117 Re fake quotes, a great technique that somehere (*cough*) used in Berkeley: make up fake quote from Communist icons.


"Ah, but Karl Marx in his essay "[made up name here] explicitly taught that [you're full of shit]."


"So you disagree with Fidel Castro on the homosexual question?"


"Not many liberals have the temerity to disagree with Chairman Mao. I salute your intellectual independence!"

Posted by: Jay Guevara at November 24, 2015 05:01 PM (oKE6c)

118 Why does SNL insult a section of its audience? Can the afford to loose any more viewers?

Posted by: Mustapha Kunt -- With a Wang! at November 24, 2015 05:01 PM (iQIUe)

119 >>n annoying pajama boy type corrected me "Actually, its schhhpaten".

Heh. I learned during a tour of the Chandon winery in Napa valley (Moet and Chandon co.) that the Moet family was German, and it's pronounced "moe-ette" not "moe-ay". I've never corrected anyone, though - it's just fun to hear a wine snob mispronounce it.

Posted by: Lizzy at November 24, 2015 05:01 PM (NOIQH)

120 I just plan to cook clean and drink

Posted by: ThunderB at November 24, 2015 05:02 PM (zOTsN)

121 Progressives do not process language the same way human beings do; they chiefly adduce meaning from tone and body language, like dogs.

lol

Posted by: artisanal 'ette at November 24, 2015 05:02 PM (qCMvj)

122 My God. It's text all the way down.

Okay. I'll go and read it now.

Posted by: andycanuck at November 24, 2015 05:02 PM (xodPA)

123 I think my response to any of my family bringing up libtarded ideas at thanksgiving would be, "I don't think we're even qualified to discuss this, given our white privilege and all."


That'll shut them up.

Posted by: DangerGirl and her 1.21 gigawatt Hardline Sanity Prod at November 24, 2015 05:03 PM (+eR2D)

124 Thanksgivingmanship: Your Guide to Surviving The Progressive Imbeciles Who Have Spent a Week Cramming on How to Survive You

Survive them? LOL. If a lefty runs away from the Thanksgiving table in tears then it's been a productive holiday. Extra points for catching it on video.

Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair at November 24, 2015 05:03 PM (zc3Db)

125 * The pen is mightier than the sword. And the hashtag, well, it's like a thousand pens, each with a sword, able to stop a zionist. Am I right?

Posted by: USA at November 24, 2015 05:03 PM (tfM+W)

126 I believe it was Marx who said "you got a pretty mouth".
Posted by: Mallamutt, RINO President for Life at November 24, 2015 04:59 PM


I'm not sure if it's any better in the original "Du hast ein schoenes Mund..."

Posted by: Bill H at November 24, 2015 05:03 PM (Baojj)

127 Posted by: Jay Guevara at November 24, 2015 05:01 PM (oKE6c)


You really need to start recording your interactions with leftist academics ad posting them.

Posted by: Burn the Witch at November 24, 2015 05:03 PM (Wckf4)

128 Why does SNL insult a section of its audience? Can the afford to loose any more viewers?

Oh, I think that train left the station some time ago...

Posted by: tu3031 at November 24, 2015 05:03 PM (YFFpo)

129 ad=and

Posted by: Burn the Witch at November 24, 2015 05:03 PM (Wckf4)

130
OT but, come on:

Just weeks before he leaves office, the governor of Kentucky on Tuesday issued an executive order that will immediately grant the right to vote to about 140,000 nonviolent felons who have completed their sentences.

The order by Gov. Steven L. Beshear, a Democrat.....




Schifosa.

Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at November 24, 2015 05:04 PM (kdS6q)

131 "Ah, but Karl Marx in his essay "[made up name here] explicitly taught that [you're full of shit]."


"So you disagree with Fidel Castro on the homosexual question?"


"Not many liberals have the temerity to disagree with Chairman Mao. I salute your intellectual independence!"
Posted by: Jay Guevara at November 24, 2015 05:01 PM (oKE6c)

________

Well done. I'll have to remember these.

Posted by: Monsieur Mew Mew at November 24, 2015 05:04 PM (0LHZx)

132 109 Isn't it a shame that President Obama was forced to accept millions of dollars from Goldman Sachs in 2008 and 2012? Those banksters suck so much.
Posted by: Monsieur Mew Mew at November 24, 2015 04:58 PM (0LHZx)



That's a good one.


How about "Goldman Sachs contributed so much money to the Democratic Party in an attempt to buy influence? But it didn't, did it? The Democrats stood strong, refusing to be swayed by that $100 million dollars. You gotta be impressed!"

Posted by: Jay Guevara at November 24, 2015 05:04 PM (oKE6c)

133 "I was so impressed when Hillary wrote, 'It's much better to rule in Hell than it is to serve in Heaven'"

Posted by: kbdabear at November 24, 2015 05:04 PM (GrXXa)

134 You could also graciously offer to pre-chew their food for them.

Posted by: scoville at November 24, 2015 05:04 PM (0adl+)

135 If you have any Prius driving liberals at dinner praise them for not burning any fossil fuels. Then follow up with a ' hmm, now I'm wondering where we get our electricity from ?' .

Posted by: Max Rockatansky at November 24, 2015 05:04 PM (2d71x)

136 >>"So you disagree with Fidel Castro on the homosexual question?"

From your nic, you must have one about Che murdering homosexuals.

I was explaining what an evil dude Che was to my son recently, and it's only because he was pretty and had the famous photo taken of him that he is considered a "cool" revolutionary by young dummies.

Posted by: Lizzy at November 24, 2015 05:05 PM (NOIQH)

137 when you pronounce this name, for no particular reason, in an outrageous German accent, as Gaertruude Schteinn..

*********

Ace didn't say she was German--he said for no particular reason use an outrageous German accent. Steiner.

Posted by: Danube River Guide at November 24, 2015 05:05 PM (mcm0N)

138 Just weeks before he leaves office, the governor of Kentucky on Tuesday issued an executive order that will immediately grant the right to vote to about 140,000 nonviolent felons who have completed their sentences.

The order by Gov. Steven L. Beshear, a Democrat.....




Schifosa.
Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at November 24, 2015 05:04 PM (kdS6q)

__________

Can't the new gov sign an EO saying FUCK YOU to the old EO?

Posted by: Monsieur Mew Mew at November 24, 2015 05:05 PM (0LHZx)

139 Rachel Maddow is just so amazing

Had to let one of these slide this summer, couldn't remember anything other than MadCow to refute.

Posted by: DaveA at November 24, 2015 05:05 PM (DL2i+)

140 >>Actually, its schhhpaten".

Nope. Spay-ten.



This reminds me of a Thanksgivimans Gambit of my own:

This works well with the Quotes and names that others make a point of pronouncing in ANY of the faux Languages or affected accents.

"I am pretty sure the 'S' (pick any letter that isn't silent) is silent."

Posted by: Garrett at November 24, 2015 05:05 PM (fCzIg)

141 I rate this 4 out of 5 kabooms. And 6 out of 8 Blurred Lines.

Posted by: Buzzion at November 24, 2015 05:06 PM (z/Ubi)

142 I forget who it was that said this, but... "Blessed are those who go and get their shinebox."

Posted by: lucky not to have to deal with progs at Thanksgiving at November 24, 2015 05:06 PM (REdlt)

143 What category does "agreeing with them but restricting your agreement to a ridiculous position" fall?

Like, the Grownchild will say, "I think we should at least have some reasonable restrictions on guns."

And you say, "I agree, only movie stars and their children should be allowed to own guns."

Posted by: RoyalOil at November 24, 2015 05:06 PM (fQ/0p)

144 "like uh wow, can u believe ppl want to say no to migrants when on thanksgiving migrants were being helped.?"

reply "right, here's a toast to knowingly putting ourselves in the indian's shoes"

"ug, they're native americans!"

"actually, they were iroquois. makes you think, doesn't it"

Posted by: joe-impeachin44 at November 24, 2015 05:06 PM (WrPMG)

145 I'm going with: "well that UN Climate conference is certainlya stinging rebuke to (fill in blank as needed)".

Posted by: simplemind at November 24, 2015 05:06 PM (JTwsP)

146 135 If you have any Prius driving liberals at dinner praise them for not burning any fossil fuels. Then follow up with a ' hmm, now I'm wondering where we get our electricity from ?' .
Posted by: Max Rockatansky at November 24, 2015 05:04 PM (2d71x)

_________

Do one better. Serve everything cold to them, after all think of all the global warming that's created heating food.

Posted by: Monsieur Mew Mew at November 24, 2015 05:07 PM (0LHZx)

147 >> "I don't think we're even qualified to discuss this, given our white privilege and all."


Oh, that is good!

Posted by: Lizzy at November 24, 2015 05:07 PM (NOIQH)

148 Well done. I'll have to remember these.

Posted by: Monsieur Mew Mew at November 24, 2015 05:04 PM (0LHZx)


Nah, just make 'em as you go. That's half the fun. Nobody has ever read all that shit (especially Marx, who is unreadable), and so you have a free fire zone to make up whatever statement you need to discomfit your interlocutor. Just don't do it in four-square contradiction to his position, because that will give the game away, but rather make the quote imply he's out of line.

Posted by: Jay Guevara at November 24, 2015 05:07 PM (oKE6c)

149 *Studies show that the hashtag has the potential to change more lives than printing press and, by the end of the century, more lives than every wheel ever invented, if you exclude steel belted radials.

Posted by: USA at November 24, 2015 05:07 PM (tfM+W)

150 Things Jefferson said is one of the best aos memes evah.

Posted by: Max Rockatansky at November 24, 2015 05:07 PM (2d71x)

151 Reading this I've learned that I've been deploying the "neutral statement disguised as agreement" gambit for a long time without knowing it.

It's how I've been tsugjt to deal with idiots -- a smile and a pat on the head so they can go bother someone else.

Posted by: Dancing Queen at November 24, 2015 05:08 PM (wmyHK)

152 Why does SNL insult a section of its audience? Can the afford to loose any more viewers?

Posted by: Mustapha Kunt -- With a Wang! at November 24, 2015 05:01 PM
..................I'm not such a precious snowflake that I can't handle my side getting skewered once and a while. Sometimes it can be funny. But when it's not meant to be funny but used more as a political sledgehammer than it's time to turn it off. That's why Colbert's ratings are tanking. He's not even funny. At least SNL manages to have a few chuckles once or twice a year. Oh, which reminds me, it's time for me to build my annual present for Mrs. Minnfidel. "Dick in a box!"

Posted by: Minnfidel at November 24, 2015 05:08 PM (Z46PQ)

153 That'll shut them up.

LOL.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at November 24, 2015 05:08 PM (No/ki)

154 "can u believe conservatives are too scared to watch colbert?"

replies?

"right, it must suck to only watch shows and read things that you agree with"

Posted by: joe-impeachin44 at November 24, 2015 05:08 PM (WrPMG)

155 97 I think my deep thoughts quotes will be from 80 s dance music

Especially Safety Dance and Relax
Posted by: ThunderB at November 24, 2015 04:56 PM (zOTsN)

####

As The Bogwhon Rashneesee is fond of saying, "Everybody have fun tonight. Everybody wang chung tonight."

Posted by: The Man from Athens at November 24, 2015 05:08 PM (bGG6f)

156
Ace is right about the fake quotes.

Was it Rachel Carson who said "Happiness is a warm gun"?

Posted by: dantesed at November 24, 2015 05:08 PM (88xKn)

157 Nope it was Benjamin Franklin who said...just sweep the leg...

Posted by: Yo! at November 24, 2015 05:08 PM (GwIKd)

158 "Thus and so."

Wherefore art thou Jug-Eared SCOAMF

Posted by: Reggie at November 24, 2015 05:09 PM (DL2i+)

159 I'm going with: "well that UN Climate conference is certainlya stinging rebuke to (fill in blank as needed)".

***
nice

and don't forget that "it sounds like you're letting fear divide us"

Posted by: joe-impeachin44 at November 24, 2015 05:09 PM (WrPMG)

160 The best rebuke at Thanksgiving would be to give thanks to God for all that we have.

Both the good and the bad. *look at them then*

Posted by: Bitter Clinger and All That at November 24, 2015 05:09 PM (Xo1Rt)

161 ]Like, the Grownchild will say, "I think we should at least have some reasonable restrictions on guns."
And you say, "I agree, only movie stars and their children should be allowed to own guns."
Posted by: RoyalOil at November 24, 2015 05:06 PM (fQ/0p)




"Yes, we should take guns away from people ... (hesitate meaningfully, waiting for the mark to agree enthusiastically)

... and give them to the oppressed minorities in the ghetto, so they can defend themselves against the white power structure."

Posted by: Jay Guevara at November 24, 2015 05:09 PM (oKE6c)

162 Powwow chow, powwow chow.

Posted by: The Jackhole somewhere on Ventura Highway at November 24, 2015 05:09 PM (dULJN)

163 Survive them? LOL. If a lefty runs away from the Thanksgiving table in tears then it's been a productive holiday. Extra points for catching it on video.



Doulbe flight miles if it goes up on Fb or YouTube

Posted by: rickb223 at November 24, 2015 05:09 PM (hQt/L)

164 "Isn't it great how the Spanish reintroduced the horse to North America after the natives drove them to extinction 15,000 years? If only they had a few giant sloths and giant armadillos to really restore biodiversity!"

Posted by: Naes at November 24, 2015 05:10 PM (Ypc8j)

165 SJWs shd not be sitting down at holiday dinners but fasting and giving all their food and money to the poor.

Ask them: Why arent you out on the streets feeding the poor?

Posted by: Mustapha Kunt -- With a Wang! at November 24, 2015 05:10 PM (iQIUe)

166 Bravo ace. Well done.

Though I think it was King Edward the VII who said it best. "Thanksgiving is a great time to celebrate home and hearth, now who is going to help me bang this French whore?"

Posted by: Jollyroger at November 24, 2015 05:10 PM (t06LC)

167 Chris Matthews was an early member of the Beider Meinhaus Gluebben Stueben.

Posted by: Danube River Guide at November 24, 2015 05:10 PM (mcm0N)

168 "Isn't it great how the Spanish reintroduced the horse to North America after the natives drove them to extinction 15,000 years? If only they had a few giant sloths and giant armadillos to really restore biodiversity!"

***
mention buffalo jumps

Posted by: joe-impeachin44 at November 24, 2015 05:10 PM (WrPMG)

169 @161

That's a keeper.

Convicted felons have enemies too.

Posted by: THDeering at November 24, 2015 05:11 PM (GFR/U)

170 I think president Obama really took it to Isis when he insisted on the climate change meeting going forward and persisting in saying climate change was the biggest threat to the world.

Literally no other leader would make those choices

Posted by: ThunderB at November 24, 2015 05:11 PM (zOTsN)

171 Obama has 50 percent whit privilage

Posted by: The Jackhole somewhere on Ventura Highway at November 24, 2015 05:11 PM (dULJN)

172 TurkeyLivesMatter#!

Posted by: Minnfidel at November 24, 2015 05:11 PM (Z46PQ)

173
Statistics show these types of posts have abundantly less comments than an open thread.

Posted by: Guy Mohawk at November 24, 2015 05:11 PM (ODxAs)

174 pronounce this name, for no particular reason, in an outrageous German accent, as Gaertruude Schteinn.




*horse whinnies*

Posted by: TheQuietMan at November 24, 2015 05:11 PM (493sH)

175 and give them to the oppressed minorities in the ghetto, so they can defend themselves against the white power structure."


Posted by: Jay Guevara at November 24, 2015 05:09 PM (oKE6c)

heh. I deployed that the other day. It was beautiful.

Posted by: Jollyroger at November 24, 2015 05:11 PM (t06LC)

176 From your nic, you must have one about Che murdering homosexuals.

I
was explaining what an evil dude Che was to my son recently, and it's
only because he was pretty and had the famous photo taken of him that he
is considered a "cool" revolutionary by young dummies.


Posted by: Lizzy at November 24, 2015 05:05 PM (NOIQH)


Of course. Few leftists are aware of that fact.

Posted by: Jay Guevara at November 24, 2015 05:11 PM (oKE6c)

177

"Ah, then please sincerely accept my most micro apologies."



or
Fuck you very little.

Posted by: DaveA at November 24, 2015 05:11 PM (DL2i+)

178 If you don't have any leftists coming over for TG consider inviting me instead. For a small fee I will spout leftist talking points in an earnest or aggrieved tone and you can make clever ripostes. ;^)

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at November 24, 2015 05:11 PM (No/ki)

179 Lib: There should be restrictions on guns.

Normal Person: I agree. Machine guns should be illegal. Felons shouldn't be allowed to buy guns. And nobody under 18 should be allowed to own a handgun. If you got that much would you shut the fuck up about guns already?

Hilarity ensues

Posted by: Monsieur Mew Mew at November 24, 2015 05:11 PM (0LHZx)

180 Was it Rachel Carson who said "Happiness is a warm gun"?



Posted by: dantesed at November 24, 2015 05:08 PM
...........No that was Rachel Corrie.

Posted by: Minnfidel at November 24, 2015 05:12 PM (Z46PQ)

181 I never watched Colbert and I am glad.

Posted by: Carol at November 24, 2015 05:12 PM (sj3Ax)

182 If we don't come to our senses and let Obama run for a third term then the terrorists have won!

Posted by: tu3031 at November 24, 2015 05:12 PM (YFFpo)

183 Posted by: ThunderB at November 24, 2015 04:57 PM (zOTsN)

Even I couldn't stand the rancid bitch.

As Marx said in "Pejoratives In Power," "The sexual politics of the day made the male-female power dynamic an unstable and Bourgeois one."

Posted by: Alice B. Toklas at November 24, 2015 05:12 PM (Zu3d9)

184 Chris Matthews was an early member of the Beider Meinhaus Gluebben Stueben.


Of Bobbin on Nobbin?

Posted by: rickb223 at November 24, 2015 05:12 PM (hQt/L)

185 "It was fortuitous that the pilgrims found a continent totally uninhabited by human culture. Truly the hand of Providence was at work!"
It makes them so mad.

Posted by: Naes at November 24, 2015 05:12 PM (Ypc8j)

186 "Rachel Maddow is just so amazing," you can respond by nodding and saying "Absolutely, Rachel Maddow is without doubt a mammal." (Or: "A mammal...?")



I'd go with manimal

Posted by: TheQuietMan at November 24, 2015 05:13 PM (493sH)

187 >> I think my deep thoughts quotes will be from 80 s dance music


**Shakes head with remorse**

'But, alas, the letter from Hiro came too late.'

Posted by: Garrett at November 24, 2015 05:13 PM (fCzIg)

188 ha that is pretty good

Posted by: chemjeff at November 24, 2015 05:13 PM (uZNvH)

189 73.8% of university students are self-described assholes. I think ABC-WaPo did the polling.

Posted by: andycanuck at November 24, 2015 05:13 PM (xodPA)

190 >>"You know, based on current statistics, in ten years, the entire state of California will be homeless."


*********

Even Barbra Streisand?!1!


Don't think I'm going to let you take pictures of my cardboard box or my shopping cart.

Posted by: Barbara at November 24, 2015 05:13 PM (c7vUv)

191 Idiot at Thanksgiving: 'The odds of being in a terrorist event are about the same as being struck by lightning!'

You: 'That is so true! I've always wanted to experience the freedom of running around barefoot, in soaking wet underwear, holding a metal flagpole with an American flag, during a lighting storm. I mean, if you don't do that it's almost like saying, "We're not better than that!'

Posted by: free range jihadist at November 24, 2015 05:14 PM (7v/r5)

192 It's a shame at this time of the year 68% of minorities don't have money to buy a turkey (totally made up number). While looking directly in the eyes of the liberal at the table, as "Anyone care to volunteer to give up their turkey dinner so that at least one non-white family can enjoy the day"?

Posted by: Monsieur Mew Mew at November 24, 2015 05:14 PM (0LHZx)

193 "A Fellow Progressive in Discursive Mode."

omfg hilarious.

Posted by: 13times at November 24, 2015 05:14 PM (WHVu+)

194 After you say any of these things, point to the libby and say
"I didn't get a harumph out of him"

Posted by: Bruce at November 24, 2015 05:15 PM (8ikIW)

195 I'm for gun control but wasn't it Martin Luther King who said that when he held a gun he felt a surge of power like what god must feel when he holds a gun.

Posted by: Max Rockatansky at November 24, 2015 05:15 PM (2d71x)

196 brb I am going over to facebook to use faux statistics everywhere now thanks

Posted by: dude at November 24, 2015 05:15 PM (Kfrql)

197 I don't understand how we're still suffering from global warming after GE made all of those contributions to Obama and we have CFL light-bulbs everywhere now!

Posted by: andycanuck at November 24, 2015 05:15 PM (xodPA)

198 "You know, based on current statistics, in ten years, the entire state of California will be homeless."

"Right! I know!" came the response.

By the way, that is not schtick. That is not a joke written for this blogpost. I was really there, he really said that, that really happened.


In fairness, given the tax situation, and other liberal policies, that is probably not far off from reality.

Posted by: nerdygirl at November 24, 2015 05:15 PM (kGrwF)

199 I am sure when ISIS leaders heard Obamas statement they were all "WTF"

He's got them where he wants them

Posted by: ThunderB at November 24, 2015 05:15 PM (zOTsN)

200 This is utter genius and I am not at all bitterly jealous that you wrote this and I didn't.


Maybe you could talk about other ideas you have on your podcast?

Posted by: Thing From Snowy Mountain at November 24, 2015 05:15 PM (kCfMX)

201 I think it was Maya Angelou who said "I know why the stores are full on Thanksgiving night"

Posted by: kbdabear at November 24, 2015 05:15 PM (GrXXa)

202 Ace, you're invited to my thanksgiving any time of the year. I believe that fundamentalist Christians really should take a moment to ponder the words of their prophet who once said of refugees and the downtrodden, "I am an FBI agent."

Posted by: Chris at November 24, 2015 05:16 PM (P/L8t)

203 Wasn't it Engels who said "All we are to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us"?

Posted by: Burn the Witch at November 24, 2015 05:16 PM (Wckf4)

204 192 It's a shame at this time of the year 68% of minorities don't have money to buy a turkey (totally made up number). While looking directly in the eyes of the liberal at the table, as "Anyone care to volunteer to give up their turkey dinner so that at least one non-white family can enjoy the day"?

Posted by: Monsieur Mew Mew at November 24, 2015 05:14 PM (0LHZx)


Bonus points will be added if you put in "to a native American family so that they may enjoy the bounty from the land that we stole. Luckily most casinos have turkey buffet today."

Posted by: Jollyroger at November 24, 2015 05:16 PM (t06LC)

205


Of Bobbin on Nobbin?
Posted by: rickb223 at November 24, 2015 05:12 PM (hQt/L)

*****
Slobbenbobbinonnobbin.

Posted by: Danube River Guide at November 24, 2015 05:16 PM (mcm0N)

206 Rachel Maddow is a woman?

I always thought it was Ray Chelmaddow.

Posted by: Monsieur Mew Mew at November 24, 2015 05:16 PM (0LHZx)

207
This reminds me of that dude that posted on daily kos actual quotes out of obama's book and said they were from Palin's book, and watched the lefties make fun of them. Unfortunately he fessed up way too soon.

Posted by: Guy Mohawk at November 24, 2015 05:16 PM (ODxAs)

208 More sheerly opaque brilliance, Ace.

Mom and I are sharing the table with a lefty academician who, while a wonderful conversationalist, will inevitably compare us to Europe and find us wanting. Tsunamihadgis, economic argy-bargy, CommieNazis and goose-stepping turkeys aside, they do have their shit together...

Posted by: All Hail Eris at November 24, 2015 05:16 PM (8519N)

209 I am using my Mac right now because I have not used it very much lately. I always have Red Error 500 from this.

Posted by: Carol at November 24, 2015 05:17 PM (sj3Ax)

210 There's never an inappropriate time for a Point Break quote.

Posted by: brak at November 24, 2015 05:17 PM (xwPSp)

211 if anyone mentions Karl Marx, you might point out that he believed in Phrenology, the science of learning about a person by reading the bumps on his head.

Posted by: Satan of Cloggenstein Vt at November 24, 2015 05:17 PM (qSIlh)

212

For example, if the childanimal you are speaking with declares:

"You're micro-aggressing me."

...then be sure to respond,

"Ah, then please sincerely accept my most micro apologies."



That's one way to go, sure. Me, I'm a fan of "That's because you're such a micro-dick". Potato, potahto.

Posted by: pep at November 24, 2015 05:17 PM (LAe3v)

213 It was the venerable JFK who said.... "Ask not, what you can do for your country. Ask what you can do for free shit".

Posted by: Minnfidel at November 24, 2015 05:18 PM (Z46PQ)

214 if anyone mentions Karl Marx, you might point out that he believed in
Phrenology, the science of learning about a person by reading the bumps
on his head.


Still makes more sense than Marxism.

Posted by: Pappy O'Daniel at November 24, 2015 05:18 PM (oVJmc)

215 Just starting content.

This has the makings of a classic.

Posted by: Golfman - Xenophobe Extrodinaire at November 24, 2015 05:18 PM (48QDY)

216 As Marx said in "Pejoratives In Power," "The sexual politics of the day made the male-female power dynamic an unstable and Bourgeois one."
Posted by: Alice B. Toklas at November 24, 2015 05:12 PM (Zu3d9)




Beautiful. Well done. A classic of the genre.

Posted by: Jay Guevara at November 24, 2015 05:19 PM (oKE6c)

217 As the late Tom Hanks said "do whatever you can to better the world today, for there's no way to know if you have a tomorrow".

Posted by: Monsieur Mew Mew at November 24, 2015 05:19 PM (0LHZx)

218 I wonder if making up things and saying "that was Shakespeare" would be worth the effort. Who still reads Cymbeline or 'The Taming of the Jew'?

Posted by: Satan of Cloggenstein Vt at November 24, 2015 05:19 PM (qSIlh)

219
"Rachel Maddow....."




Take her out into to the garage and feel her up like she was a second cousin.

Because some Thanksgiving family traditions still matter....

Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at November 24, 2015 05:19 PM (kdS6q)

220 214 if anyone mentions Karl Marx, you might point out that he believed in
Phrenology, the science of learning about a person by reading the bumps
on his head.
Still makes more sense than Marxism.
Posted by: Pappy O'Daniel at November 24, 2015 05:18 PM (oVJmc)




Bonus points if you get the leftist to let you give him some more bumps on his head.

Posted by: Jay Guevara at November 24, 2015 05:20 PM (oKE6c)

221 In other news, Johnny Manziel is a retard. The minute he got made the starter and fresh out of team-mandated rehab, he went out partying and drinking and made sure social media knew about it. He got kicked down to 3rd string.

Posted by: Naes at November 24, 2015 05:20 PM (Ypc8j)

222 I believe it was chief Josef of the proud Nez Perce who once said "Nobody puts baby in a corner"

Posted by: Jollyroger at November 24, 2015 05:20 PM (t06LC)

223 "Fvck you. My house, my food. GTFO"

Posted by: rickb223 at November 24, 2015 04:40 PM (hQt/L)

A much more Thanksgivingship response would be...

"Thanksgiving dinner at Denny's is $25.95, shutting up is free"

Posted by: kbdabear at November 24, 2015 05:20 PM (GrXXa)

224 In response to ME war lamentations by a Lefty:
"I believe it was Marx who said that humans capable of great compassion and great violence."

Or maybe it was Optimus Prime?

Posted by: Lizzy at November 24, 2015 05:20 PM (NOIQH)

225 Just came in from picking up the turkey and ham and last minute things.

I love this thread sexually.

Have had two additional smug, sullen hipster college student friends of smug, sullen, hipster daughter of friends thrust upon us.

And they're all smug vegetarians who will lecture us about meat being "mean" and how it's aiding climate change.

Husband said, "Don't worry. I'll handle the idiots." Son says he can't wait for the entertainment.

Gah.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at November 24, 2015 05:20 PM (FsuaD)

226 Rachel Maddow is a woman?

I always thought it was Ray Chelmaddow.



Posted by: Monsieur Mew Mew at November 24, 2015 05:16 PM
.........................Or as another Ace would say. Ray Finkle!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted by: Minnfidel at November 24, 2015 05:20 PM (Z46PQ)

227 Boy George songs are very helpful



About the Syrian refugees and illegal aliens. Do we really mean to hurt them, do we really mean to make them cry? ....

Posted by: ThunderB at November 24, 2015 05:21 PM (zOTsN)

228 In other news, Johnny Manziel is a retard. The minute he got made the starter and fresh out of team-mandated rehab, he went out partying and drinking and made sure social media knew about it. He got kicked down to 3rd string.
Posted by: Naes at November 24, 2015 05:20 PM (Ypc8j)

Good

Posted by: Nevergiveup at November 24, 2015 05:21 PM (DUoqb)

229 So

Tomorrow is the last day before Thanksgiving.

Posted by: THDeering at November 24, 2015 05:21 PM (GFR/U)

230 In other news, Johnny Manziel is a retard. The minute he got made the starter and fresh out of team-mandated rehab, he went out partying and drinking and made sure social media knew about it. He got kicked down to 3rd string.

Posted by: Naes at November 24, 2015 05:20 PM (Ypc8j)

Unless its all a ploy to get fired by the browns because being unemployed is way better than being their starter

Posted by: Jollyroger at November 24, 2015 05:21 PM (t06LC)

231 About the Syrian refugees and illegal aliens. Do we really mean to hurt them, do we really mean to make them cry? ....
Posted by: ThunderB at November 24, 2015 05:21 PM (zOTsN)

What ever makes them go home faster

Posted by: Nevergiveup at November 24, 2015 05:22 PM (DUoqb)

232 We should disarm all Americans but it will probably be necessary to start small at first. I suggest the African-
American community to contain mass shootings like those 17 shot in New Orleans at the school playground block party as a start.

Posted by: andycanuck at November 24, 2015 05:22 PM (xodPA)

233 Yeah I guess conservatives are kind of dumb. After all wasn't there a study that said more than 1/2 of them don't know the earth revolves around the sun. And these people vote!!

Liberal: blah blah blah red state dumb, blue state smart

Then say: oh wait, you know maybe I have it backwards, the study in question said it was 51% of liberals who didn't know the earth went around the sun (and pull it up on the iphone to show)

Posted by: Monsieur Mew Mew at November 24, 2015 05:22 PM (0LHZx)

234 Jane, you are going to video tape this are you not?

Posted by: Hrothgar at November 24, 2015 05:22 PM (ftVQq)

235 The quoting of the Tom Hanks must not occur until dessert course has been served.
It is then that the liberal grown child, will have increased blood supply to its digestive system thereby shuntingblood away from its feeblebrainthat you can fake quote obnoxious actors with impunity. You must not deploy fake Sean Penn quotes after coffee has been served. Its. just. too. much.

Posted by: simplemind at November 24, 2015 05:22 PM (JTwsP)

236 Gah.
Posted by: Jane D'oh at November 24, 2015 05:20 PM (FsuaD)
---
I'm expecting a blow-by-blow account of the evening, Jane. Do not disappoint me.

Posted by: All Hail Eris at November 24, 2015 05:22 PM (8519N)

237 I believe it was Thurgood Marshall who said: ""Distinctions by race are so evil, so arbitrary and invidious that a
state bound to defend the equal protection of the laws must not involve
them in any public sphere." and "Classification and
distinction based on race or color have no moral or legal validity in
our society. They are contrary to our Constitution and laws."".

Oh wait, he really did say that. Never mind.

Posted by: pep at November 24, 2015 05:23 PM (LAe3v)

238 This reminds me of that dude that posted on daily
kos actual quotes out of obama's book and said they were from Palin's
book, and watched the lefties make fun of them. Unfortunately he fessed
up way too soon.


Posted by: Guy Mohawk at November 24, 2015 05:16 PM (ODxAs)


I did that once on the Net with a lefty who maintained that the GOP had moved far right, and disputed that the Democrat Party had in fact moved far left.

I attributed a series of quote to Rush Limbaugh, inducing the predictable snorting derision ("typical of that fat right-wing nutjob")

Until I told him they were JFK quotes, and gave him the link.

Posted by: Jay Guevara at November 24, 2015 05:23 PM (oKE6c)

239 In response to ME war lamentations by a Lefty:
"I believe it was Marx who said that humans capable of great compassion and great violence."

Or maybe it was Optimus Prime?


Posted by: Lizzy at November 24, 2015 05:20 PM (NOIQH)

I don't know.... I think that being Optimus actually gives it a little more philosophical heft.

Posted by: Jollyroger at November 24, 2015 05:23 PM (t06LC)

240
"I was explaining what an evil dude Che was to my son recently, and it's only because he was pretty and had the famous photo taken of him that he is considered a "cool" revolutionary by young dummies.--------Lizzy"

A must read book:
Exposing the Real Che Guevara: And the Useful Idiots Who Idolize Him

Posted by: Tilikum Killer Assault Whale at November 24, 2015 05:24 PM (0x/TW)

241
Boy George took the line "I'm a man without conviction, a man who doesn't know" from a Thomas Jefferson memoir.

Posted by: Guy Mohawk at November 24, 2015 05:24 PM (ODxAs)

242 Simpler....

ignore their conversational gambit, and blatantly change the subject...

if they continue, do it again...

ie, "Bruceete Jenner is the bravest person in the world"

Me: 'so how about the Raiders this year...' or 'my this stuffing sure is good, new recipie?'

If they continue.. ie don't take the hint... then be blunt (and Yes, I HAVE actually said this before)....

'Are you here to start a fight?, or are you just being rude?'

Allowing them to continue to blather is what they want... they WANT to control the agenda, and conversation, and are using OTHERS good manners to do so....

Years ago I gave up on the idea that I had to be uncomfortable because some idiot wanted to force me into some agreement with them, due to a self imposed social obligation...

And if its the Host? or Hostess? using the door is always an option.

Posted by: BB Wolf at November 24, 2015 05:24 PM (qh617)

243 >>I'm expecting a blow-by-blow account of the evening, Jane. Do not disappoint me.
Posted by: All Hail Eris

I can give you one of my evening.

Posted by: Charlie Sheen at November 24, 2015 05:24 PM (c7vUv)

244 And they're all smug vegetarians who will lecture us about meat being "mean" and how it's aiding climate change.

Husband said, "Don't worry. I'll handle the idiots." Son says he can't wait for the entertainment.

Gah.


Posted by: Jane D'oh at November 24, 2015 05:20 PM (FsuaD)


Said with a mouthful of succulent turkey, "Hey, how's the tofu?"

Posted by: Jay Guevara at November 24, 2015 05:24 PM (oKE6c)

245 Posted by: Jay Guevara at November 24, 2015 05:23 PM (oKE6c)

This is the kind of shit that makes me despair.

Our adversaries are knuckle-dragging, booger-eating idiots.

And yet we lose to them.

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at November 24, 2015 05:25 PM (Zu3d9)

246 Lizzy @ 119- Wine snobs!
It's like everybody knows Budweiser is pronounced budveezer.

Posted by: Eromero at November 24, 2015 05:25 PM (b+df9)

247 Husband said, "Don't worry. I'll handle the idiots." Son says he can't wait for the entertainment.

You know, Hitler was a vegetarian. You know that, right?

Posted by: tu3031 at November 24, 2015 05:25 PM (YFFpo)

248 217
As the late Tom Hanks said "do whatever you can to better the world today, for there's no way to know if you have a tomorrow".

Posted by: Monsieur Mew Mew


Poser. That wasn't Hanks, that was Jeff Goldblum.

Posted by: pep at November 24, 2015 05:25 PM (LAe3v)

249 Pabst Blue Ribbon Brewery was owned by radical right-wing Birchers. TrueFact.

Posted by: 13times at November 24, 2015 05:26 PM (WHVu+)

250 If the liberal grown child has seconds or eventhirds, you may safely and non-ironicallyquote Gary from Team America World Police.

Posted by: simplemind at November 24, 2015 05:26 PM (JTwsP)

251 "Our present tax system, developed as it was, in good part, during World War II to restrain growth, exerts too heavy a drag on growth in peace time; that it siphons out of the private economy too large a share of personal and business purchasing power; that it reduces the financial incentives for personal effort, investment, and risk-taking"

Talk about right wing idiocy, eh?

Oh yeah it was the famous JFK speech in 1961 right before he cut taxes by a shit ton.

Posted by: Monsieur Mew Mew at November 24, 2015 05:26 PM (0LHZx)

252 230
It's always possible. In Cleveland there was a Halloween display in someone's yard that was a graveyard for all of the Browns starters over the last decade with the years they started on the tombstones. There were a lot.

Posted by: Naes at November 24, 2015 05:26 PM (Ypc8j)

253 >>And they're all smug vegetarians who will lecture us about meat being "mean" and how it's aiding climate change.


OK, you have to have at least one reply to livestock causes Climate Change nonsense, maybe something like "I agree, the world would be a better place if we could just eliminate bovine flatulence."

Posted by: Lizzy at November 24, 2015 05:27 PM (NOIQH)

254 217
As the late Tom Hanks said "do whatever you can to better the world today, for there's no way to know if you have a tomorrow".

Posted by: Monsieur Mew Mew


Most of the human race are idiots. Take pride in your exclusion from the club.

Posted by: pep at November 24, 2015 05:27 PM (LAe3v)

255 "Cranberry sauce!?
"Thank you, but no.
"Did you know that this year alone 100,000 acres of old growth forest will be burned in Ecuador to make room for Cranberry Bogs?"

Posted by: Garrett at November 24, 2015 05:27 PM (fCzIg)

256 Boy George took the line "I'm a man without conviction, a man who doesn't know" from a Thomas Jefferson memoir.


Jefferson cribbed it from Brian Dennehey.

Posted by: Bandersnatch at November 24, 2015 05:27 PM (1xUj/)

257 Other evil vegetarians: Ghengis Khan, Charles Manson, Pol Pot.

Posted by: All Hail Eris at November 24, 2015 05:27 PM (8519N)

258 Another technique: use the reductio ad absurdem.


"I'm totally down with Nancy Pelosi's statement that unemployment stimulates the economy. In fact, I think we should rack unemployment up to around 25%, to really boost the economy into the stratosphere."

Posted by: Jay Guevara at November 24, 2015 05:27 PM (oKE6c)

259 BMW made Zyklon B for the NAZI's.

Posted by: 13times at November 24, 2015 05:27 PM (WHVu+)

260 here is a conversation stopper. did you know that ann frank's father ask to be alowed in ameriKKKa as a refugee and was turned down.

Posted by: che at November 24, 2015 05:28 PM (cfFyD)

261 I agree, the world would be a better place if we could just eliminate bovine flatulence."
Posted by: Lizzy

It wasn't me, racist.

Posted by: Moochelle, FLOTUS at November 24, 2015 05:28 PM (/oy1S)

262 Yes, it was Socrates who once said, "wait, I drank what?"

Posted by: Duke Lowell at November 24, 2015 05:28 PM (kTF2Z)

263 Use some of the lines from Deteriorata.

Consider that two wrongs never make a right, but that three do.


Posted by: Bruce at November 24, 2015 05:28 PM (8ikIW)

264 262 Yes, it was Socrates who once said, "wait, I drank what?"
Posted by: Duke Lowell at November 24, 2015 05:28 PM (kTF2Z)

_________

Soh-crates. What a dude!

Posted by: Monsieur Mew Mew at November 24, 2015 05:29 PM (0LHZx)

265 OK, you have to have at least one reply to livestock
causes Climate Change nonsense, maybe something like "I agree, the
world would be a better place if we could just eliminate bovine
flatulence."


Posted by: Lizzy at November 24, 2015 05:27 PM (NOIQH)


"I heard that to combat global warming the new Prius will run livestock flatulence. They're working right now on hooking up collection devices to all of the livestock."

Posted by: Jay Guevara at November 24, 2015 05:29 PM (oKE6c)

266 @254
Well, that didn't work out. It was supposed to be:

This is the kind of shit that makes me despair.

Our adversaries are knuckle-dragging, booger-eating idiots.

And yet we lose to them.


Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo


Most of the human race are idiots. Take pride in your exclusion from the club.



Guess I'll go join the other side.

Posted by: pep at November 24, 2015 05:29 PM (LAe3v)

267 as I reminded my girlfriend the other night:

"Hitler was a vegetarian"

"you're such an asshole"

Posted by: x at November 24, 2015 05:29 PM (57fhp)

268 257 Don't forget Jeffery Dahmer. Totally a vegetarian.

Posted by: Naes at November 24, 2015 05:29 PM (Ypc8j)

269
OK, you have to have at least one reply to livestock causes Climate Change nonsense, maybe something like "I agree, the world would be a better place if we could just eliminate bovine flatulence."


Posted by: Lizzy at November 24, 2015 05:27 PM (NOIQH)

I prefer to point attention that the most dangerous greenhouse component is really dihydrogen monoxide, and in its gaseous form is a major contributor to cloud cover. Also, it is directly responsible for more deaths a year than all other gasses combined in its various states.

Posted by: Jollyroger at November 24, 2015 05:30 PM (t06LC)

270
Jefferson cribbed it from Brian Dennehey.

Who in turn cribbed it from Vic.

Posted by: Guy Mohawk at November 24, 2015 05:30 PM (ODxAs)

271 About the Syrian refugees and illegal aliens. Do we really mean to hurt them, do we really mean to make them cry? ....

Posted by: ThunderB at November 24, 2015 05:21 PM


Leftist people always tell me that's a step too far.

Posted by: RedMindBlueState at November 24, 2015 05:30 PM (pLwjI)

272 Oh yeah it was the famous JFK speech in 1961 right before he cut taxes by a shit ton.

Posted by: Monsieur Mew Mew at November 24, 2015 05:26 PM (0LHZx)


The best JFK quotes concern the Cold War, the USSR, and Communism. Real red meat.
Hard to believe now that they came from the Democrat.

Posted by: Jay Guevara at November 24, 2015 05:30 PM (oKE6c)

273
"Thanksgiving dinner at Denny's is $25.95, shutting up is free"

Oh I likey.

Posted by: typo dynamofo at November 24, 2015 05:30 PM (ZY2zO)

274 Posted by: Jane D'oh at November 24, 2015 05:20 PM (FsuaD)

LOL.... Vegetarians.... easy fix...

Here's what I'm fixing... eat it or go hungry.... you are a guest in my house, not the Master of it...

Posted by: BB Wolf at November 24, 2015 05:30 PM (qh617)

275 "Did you know that the European invaders who came to North America used to eat cats for Thanksgiving, until the indigenous Americans taught them to eat wild turkeys instead? True fact. Look it up"

Posted by: Roy at November 24, 2015 05:30 PM (VndSC)

276 "Was it Rachel Carson who said "Happiness is a warm gun"?



Posted by: dantesed at November 24, 2015 05:08 PM
...........No that was Rachel Corrie."


Rachael Ray said "Where's the buffet?"

Posted by: Benji Carver at November 24, 2015 05:31 PM (OD2ni)

277 Planned Parenthood is getting ripped off in selling baby parts for scientific experimentation. The scientists are working on cures for everything so PP should be getting a heckuva lot more money for those heart, lung and kidney tissues. And don't even get me started on how much they should be getting for embryonic brains.

Posted by: andycanuck at November 24, 2015 05:31 PM (xodPA)

278 "I heard that to combat global warming the new Prius will run livestock
flatulence. They're working right now on hooking up collection devices
to all of the livestock."


The Germans at VW already did it. It was called fahrtvergnugen.

Posted by: pep at November 24, 2015 05:32 PM (LAe3v)

279 It was the venerable JFK who said.... "Ask not, what you can do for your country. Ask what you can do for free shit".

Posted by: Minnfidel at November 24, 2015 05:18 PM (Z46PQ)


I was always partial to JFK's threat to incinerate every man, woman, child, and pet in the Soviet Union if Cuba lobbed a nuke at French Guiana.

Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair at November 24, 2015 05:32 PM (zc3Db)

280 The best JFK quotes concern the Cold War, the USSR, and Communism. Real red meat.
Hard to believe now that they came from the Democrat.


Posted by: Jay Guevara at November 24, 2015 05:30 PM (oKE6c)

Prior to the new left, yeah, I can see it. We've just been up against true commies in our lifetimes.

Posted by: Jollyroger at November 24, 2015 05:32 PM (t06LC)

281 This might serve as a Shibboleth. Consider:

undercover moron: "For what is it that gives the terrorists power -- their weapons, or our primitive, irrational fear that they will kill us with their weapons?"

moron: "Well, to be honest, I think a weapon confers a certain kind of power..."

undercover moron: "You're a moron, aren't you?"

moron: "I beg your pardon...?

undercover moron: "You know" *winks* "a moron."

Posted by: Bruce Boehner at November 24, 2015 05:33 PM (ZdSzs)

282 Wouldn't 26 dollars buy breakfast for all of us at a Denny's?

Posted by: Garrett at November 24, 2015 05:33 PM (fCzIg)

283 Pretend you genuinely don't know what veganism is. When they explain it to you, pause, look puzzled, concerned, and then respond "But only a faggot would do that." Then resume eating meat.

Posted by: Naes at November 24, 2015 05:33 PM (Ypc8j)

284 He lost me at "Oxford Don."

I thought they had all been found dead in a pool or something.

Or Maybe I watch too much Inspector Lewis....

Posted by: Gentlemen, this is democracy manifest at November 24, 2015 05:33 PM (LWu6U)

285 Our adversaries are knuckle-dragging, booger-eating idiots.

And yet we lose to them.


Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at November 24, 2015 05:25 PM (Zu3d9)


It's because they appeal to emotion, and herd identity, and we appeal to reason. The elder Guevara is very conservative, and intellectual, and tended to produce tables, charts, and graphs to support GOP candidates when he worked for them here.
I pointed out that nobody will read those. You need bumper sticker type quotes, etc. to reach most people.

Posted by: Jay Guevara at November 24, 2015 05:33 PM (oKE6c)

286 Just starting content.
This has the makings of a classic.
Posted by: Golfman - Xenophobe Extrodinaire at November 24, 2015 05:18 PM (48QDY)

I had to stop two paragraphs down. Like a delicious slice of cheesecake, it's best not to rush.

I had an 'Ace type' character in my high school. Would arrive to 'English' class ten minutes late. Sit at the back of the classroom, disheveled and unkept, reeking of fresh cigarette smoke. The last test would get passed out and everyone groaned. Except for one person.

Posted by: free range jihadist at November 24, 2015 05:34 PM (7v/r5)

287 Colorado's industrial hemp agribusinesses have produced more fibrous hemp rope than Manitoba AND Saskatchewan COMBINED!

Posted by: 13times at November 24, 2015 05:35 PM (WHVu+)

288 63 What? Is he fuckin kidding. Is it April 1st? And someone is supporting that lying prick?

I read the article. With regards to the number of refugees quoted, author Julia Hahn pulled a number out of a hat to further her own agenda. Moreover, looking at the Fox News transcript, she pulled Rubio's quote without including the context. (Start at "Well, I don't understand.") Ultimately, her piece is more editorial than news article because it is based on her own assertions rather than actual facts.

Transcript of Rubio's Interview with Sean Hannity: http://fxn.ws/1IeKtQS

Posted by: Miss80sBaby at November 24, 2015 05:35 PM (YjDyJ)

289 Putin has moved Anti-Aircraft Cruisers nearer the Turkish and Syrian Coast and issued shot to kill orders for any threat to Russian Planes and has suspended all military cooperation with Ankara. And All Russian bombers will be escorted by Russian Fighters.

That's nice

Posted by: Nevergiveup at November 24, 2015 05:35 PM (DUoqb)

290 The best JFK quotes concern the Cold War, the USSR, and Communism.

Don't forget the ever-popular "ah, we don't need a ah night watch, what, are you afraid we'll be run over by a ah Jap destroyer, you ah pussy"?

Posted by: pep at November 24, 2015 05:35 PM (LAe3v)

291 I'd go with manimal
----

A Manimal reference in a thread that mentioned Point Break?
My life is complete!

*slams shot*

Posted by: BunkerinTheBurbs at November 24, 2015 05:35 PM (bA+CL)

292 "6 By the year 2025 everybody will wear dresses and makeup, except professional basketball players and pimps."

By the year 2025 everybody will wear dresses and makeup, except professional basketball players and <strike>pimps</strike> pumps (red).

Fixed the typo. Because Patriarchy!

Posted by: Modern Man at November 24, 2015 05:36 PM (nSW/N)

293 234
Jane, you are going to video tape this are you not?

Posted by: Hrothgar at November 24, 2015 05:22 PM (ftVQq)


I'll be so busy I'd have to wear a GoPro on my head.

Actually, I'm taking ace's post to the ATL as notes for husband's lib/prog sibs' "Christmas Day" gift exchange/cocktail party/bring all your own food party.

Biggest bunch of panty-wetting, Obama-worshiping douchebags in the world.


Happily, most of them are all Feel the Bern! which is sweet.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at November 24, 2015 05:36 PM (FsuaD)

294 so far, I'd rank #170 as hitting the sweet spot

Posted by: x at November 24, 2015 05:36 PM (57fhp)

295 re 276: maybe she meant Warren Buffet.

by the way, I recall reading that rice paddies and wetlands are both major sources of methane, a very potent greenhouse gas, so shurrup you face and pass the stuffing. Damn I hate when Stovetop is on sale, I could eat a whole box for a snack sometimes.

Posted by: Satan of Cloggenstein Vt at November 24, 2015 05:37 PM (qSIlh)

296 Putin has moved Anti-Aircraft Cruisers nearer the Turkish and Syrian Coast and issued shot to kill orders for any threat to Russian Planes and has suspended all military cooperation with Ankara. And All Russian bombers will be escorted by Russian Fighters.

That's nice

Posted by: Nevergiveup at November 24, 2015 05:35 PM (DUoqb)

I saw where one group of Bear bombers were being escorted by a flight of F-14s. Iranian F-14s.
I had to send that to my flight instructor. He used to fly tomcats and phantoms in the Navy.

Posted by: Jollyroger at November 24, 2015 05:37 PM (t06LC)

297 In response to a Lefty asking a snarky rhetorical question, like how can we put a man on the moon but not afford Obamacare for illegals:

"Think it was [great thinker] who said: 'There are mysteries to the universe we were never meant to solve'"

Optimus Prime (again)

Posted by: Lizzy at November 24, 2015 05:37 PM (NOIQH)

298 There was, for the briefest of moments, something at the top of the page that linked to something that had comments. But it was gone with the next refresh.

Is there a Secret Ace that is only visible to those members with the proper credentials? Not that I care to join an exclusive Secret Ace club; I wouldn't want to join a secret club that would accept me as member.

But what was that? A glitch in the Matrix?

Posted by: THDeering at November 24, 2015 05:37 PM (GFR/U)

299 The best JFK quotes concern the Cold War, the USSR, and Communism. Real red meat.
Hard to believe now that they came from the Democrat.

Posted by: Jay Guevara at November 24, 2015 05:30 PM (oKE6c)


Third: It shall be the policy of this nation to regard any nuclear missile launched from Cuba against any nation in the Western Hemisphere as an attack on the United States, requiring a full retaliatory response upon the Soviet Union. -- JFK threatening the USSR on national TV

Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair at November 24, 2015 05:37 PM (zc3Db)

300 289
Putin has moved Anti-Aircraft Cruisers nearer the Turkish and Syrian
Coast and issued shot to kill orders for any threat to Russian Planes
and has suspended all military cooperation with Ankara. And All Russian
bombers will be escorted by Russian Fighters.



That's nice

Posted by: Nevergiveup


And yet, somehow, it's all George Bush's fault.

Posted by: pep at November 24, 2015 05:37 PM (LAe3v)

301 242 BB Wolfe
'Are you here to start a fight?, or are you just being rude?'

Stealing that.
When handed the opportunity, always go full Ted Cruz.

Posted by: scoville at November 24, 2015 05:37 PM (0adl+)

302 OK, you have to have at least one reply to livestock
causes Climate Change nonsense, maybe something like "I agree, the world would be a better place if we could just



make cows extinct. Why do you hate cows?

Posted by: rickb223 at November 24, 2015 05:38 PM (hQt/L)

303 Nearly 50% of women are born with megaclitoris. Fortunately, there is a cure.

Posted by: Caitlyn Jenner at November 24, 2015 05:39 PM (ZdSzs)

304 Posted by: free range jihadist at November 24, 2015 05:34 PM (7v/r5)

Archiving. Now.

Now if I could remember the link to the classic of something like "I Love Fall". I have it at work but alas.

Posted by: Golfman - Xenophobe Extrodinaire at November 24, 2015 05:39 PM (48QDY)

305 In response to a Lefty asking a snarky rhetorical
question, like how can we put a man on the moon but not afford Obamacare
for illegals:



Posted by: Lizzy at November 24, 2015 05:37 PM (NOIQH)


Thoughtful expression: "You know, that gives me an idea. If we put illegals on the moon ..."

Posted by: Jay Guevara at November 24, 2015 05:39 PM (oKE6c)

306 PETA says eating turkey is the same as cannibalism. Drudge had the link up earlier.

Yum. Long pig.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at November 24, 2015 05:39 PM (FsuaD)

307 @285 you lose because while the average conservative is smarter then the average democrat you are evil and self destructive see r. nixon!

Posted by: che at November 24, 2015 05:39 PM (cfFyD)

308 I've secretly switched conventional cornbread sausage stuffing with VeganFree Brand Hemp-Flax-Chia seed bread and smoked French Tofu.

Lets see how the guests react.

Posted by: Hipster at November 24, 2015 05:40 PM (WHVu+)

309 Oh God the Jeopardy lady is on again.

Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at November 24, 2015 05:40 PM (4ErVI)

310 I like to ask lefties:

If Warren Buffet gave away over $30 billion a couple of years ago, to much fanfare and self-congratulation, why is it still counted as "his" when they list the richest people? SHouldn't his net worth have dropped by $30 billion? Or is Indian-giving tres cool? (The last part is Thanksgiving specific)

Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair at November 24, 2015 05:40 PM (zc3Db)

311 Did you hear about all of these trains transporting oil blowing up? A whole town in Canada was destroyed by one. It's time we started moving it more safely using pipelines no matter how much it affects Warren Buffett's bottom-line.

Posted by: andycanuck at November 24, 2015 05:40 PM (xodPA)

312 Illegals and imbeciles on the Moon? That would account for a bulk of the Democrat Party.

And on page 17 of script.

Posted by: Anna Puma at November 24, 2015 05:40 PM (7MJMR)

313 I came up with this on an earlier thread and it's getting good traction on FB:

Turkey is vegetarian. It's grain and veggies that have been eaten by a turkey and transformed into turkey meat.

It's biologically improved vegetables.

Posted by: Bandersnatch at November 24, 2015 05:40 PM (1xUj/)

314 twitter's teasing an imminent Kasich drop-out but all the links just go to an older 1999 WSJ article about his failure then.

There's hope though...

Posted by: bananaDream at November 24, 2015 05:41 PM (vLk7c)

315 Just quote Obama but say it was Sarah Palin.

Posted by: eman at November 24, 2015 05:42 PM (mR7Es)

316 Illegals and imbeciles on the Moon? That would account for a bulk of the Democrat Party.

And on page 17 of script.


Posted by: Anna Puma at November 24, 2015 05:40 PM (7MJMR)

We can't do that. I saw the movie where Hitler already had a Nazi base on the moon. There's no way that we can put fascists AND communists there.

Posted by: Jollyroger at November 24, 2015 05:42 PM (t06LC)

317 >>>Is there a Secret Ace that is only visible to those members with the proper credentials?


probably like Direct TV 2 which only celebrities and the rich get. for free. and it has more channels. in higher definition.

Posted by: x at November 24, 2015 05:42 PM (57fhp)

318 Re Syrian refugees: "I admire your sense of social justice. In fact, they're looking for people to sponsor Syrian refugees here until they can get on their feet, and I'm helping to coordinate the effort. Can I put you down as taking a family?"

Posted by: Jay Guevara at November 24, 2015 05:42 PM (oKE6c)

319 "I heard somewhere, I think it was at Huffington, that Karl Marx changed his voter registration to Republican in his late forties or early fifties. I was frankly surprised to learn this."

(You can insert any lefty icon's name.)

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at November 24, 2015 05:42 PM (NeFrd)

320 D'oh Boy sent his prog aunts, uncles and cousins through the roof last Christmas. He brought up his gun collection.

Nearly brought them all to rage tears.

It was a thing of beauty.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at November 24, 2015 05:42 PM (FsuaD)

321 289 Putin has moved Anti-Aircraft Cruisers nearer the Turkish and Syrian Coast and issued shot to kill orders for any threat to Russian Planes and has suspended all military cooperation with Ankara. And All Russian bombers will be escorted by Russian Fighters.

That's nice

Posted by: Nevergiveup at November 24, 2015 05:35 PM (DUoqb)


And very predictable.

Unlike the current US... Russia has a very long history, and remembers it...

We are about to allow Viet Nam, a country which blatantly broke a treaty with us less than 40 years ago... the one that said they would NOT invade South Viet Nam.... yet now we are going to TRUST them in the Trans Pacific Trade stuff, which allows THEIR workers free access to jobs in the US...

Russia and Putin however, remember the long History they have with Turkey... the wars they fought in the past...

Posted by: BB Wolf at November 24, 2015 05:43 PM (qh617)

322
Research shows that Thanksgiving was actually first celebrated when they agreed to give up all ancestral land rights to the United States. This is where the term Indian Giver started.

Posted by: Guy Mohawk at November 24, 2015 05:43 PM (ODxAs)

323 All this conflict. I long for the old days, as captured in "A Thanksgiving Memory" by Chris Miller in the old National Lampoon.

Posted by: Semi-Literate Thug at November 24, 2015 05:43 PM (/f6Nd)

324 90% of humans that exist were conceived through rape. If we reduce the birthrate to zero, we would all but eliminate rape.

Posted by: Bruce Boehner at November 24, 2015 05:43 PM (ZdSzs)

325 223 thread winner.

Posted by: vivi at November 24, 2015 05:44 PM (11H2y)

326 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eMAXuZOw_DY
Sing along, everybody!

Posted by: scoville at November 24, 2015 05:44 PM (0adl+)

327 Let's get back to the part about walkies and snackies!

Posted by: A Dog at November 24, 2015 05:44 PM (7Kbxu)

328 306 PETA says eating turkey is the same as cannibalism. Drudge had the link up earlier.
Yum. Long pig.
Posted by: Jane D'oh at November 24, 2015 05:39 PM (FsuaD)




Cannibalism could work. Some of the real chubbos waddling around probably have some very nicely marbled meat.


And why is PETA cannibal-shaming?

Posted by: Jay Guevara at November 24, 2015 05:44 PM (oKE6c)

329 Posted by: Miss80sBaby at November 24, 2015 05:35 PM (YjDyJ)

Is there any establishment republican you don't shill for?

Posted by: Nevergiveup at November 24, 2015 05:45 PM (DUoqb)

330 Tell them the pumpkin pie is made with horse hoof protein as a stabilizer.

Or just say, "I guess you're not having any of the high-protein pumpkin pie then Jamie?"

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at November 24, 2015 05:45 PM (NeFrd)

331 >>Just quote Obama but say it was Sarah Palin.

"I never though the 'oceans of tomorrow' that Palin was promising us would look like this!!"

Posted by: Lizzy at November 24, 2015 05:45 PM (NOIQH)

332 Posted by: vivi at November 24, 2015 05:44 PM (11H2y)

X2

Posted by: Golfman - Xenophobe Extrodinaire at November 24, 2015 05:45 PM (48QDY)

333 Or is Indian-giving tres cool? (The last part is Thanksgiving specific)



Dot or feather?

Posted by: rickb223 at November 24, 2015 05:46 PM (hQt/L)

334 I'll take that walk now, and I'll eat that snack now.

Thanks. Now, thanks.

Posted by: A Dog at November 24, 2015 05:46 PM (7Kbxu)

335 319 "I heard somewhere, I think it was at Huffington, that Karl Marx changed his voter registration to Republican in his late forties or early fifties. I was frankly surprised to learn this."
(You can insert any lefty icon's name.)
Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at November 24, 2015 05:42 PM (NeFrd)




IIRC, Eldridge Cleaver did exactly that.

Posted by: Jay Guevara at November 24, 2015 05:46 PM (oKE6c)

336
"You bet! And isn't about time we stopped shaming terrorists, and
said something good about terrorism? Besides which, [insert liberal city
here, preferably where the interlocutor lives] is so crowded! A little
terrorism could help traffic congestion, and that would help fight
global warming. Because that's the real threat."
xxx

True story:

I was speaking to my aunt, who was in her mid 70's at the time. We were speaking about Hamas; I said they were terrorists.

She looked at me with the utterly confused look that only a gray haired upper middle class liberal can muster and said, "But they do so much GOOD. They build hospital and schools."

I looked at her coldly and said, "Yes, of course they do. And they store weapons there and use them when they're firing off rockets and such."

She, of course, did not believe me, and continued to give me the deer/headlight gaze.

Posted by: shibumi who is awash in existential dread at November 24, 2015 05:46 PM (9JJgN)

337 "By the year 2030, global warming predicts that the North American landmass will be flooded by seawater and wolves."


Not if sharknado has anything to say about it.

Posted by: dogfish at November 24, 2015 05:47 PM (0O2Lr)

338 Let's get back to the part about walkies and snackies!
Posted by: A Dog

You uncle Fido. We have to do demeaning tricks for our snackies but cats get theirs for nothing. #EndSnackiesPrivilege

Posted by: #BlackLabsMatter at November 24, 2015 05:47 PM (/oy1S)

339 Two DHL packages containing explosive materials were found by security officials at the Cairo International Airport Tuesday.

Reports say the packages were making their way to the United States through London.

Ahram.org reports: The source at the airport said that the parcels, weighting about 10kg, were going through security procedures when the explosive substances were detected by the X-Ray scans.

The two parcels underwent further examinations which confirmed the existence of explosives.

Weasel Zippers

Posted by: Nevergiveup at November 24, 2015 05:48 PM (DUoqb)

340 I've got a better idea.

Hows about simply ignoring the little shit stains instead?

Posted by: Bea Arthur's Dick at November 24, 2015 05:48 PM (pldrX)

341 Psychologists have discovered that dogs and horses score higher on the compassion index than humans. They conclude that there would be no wars if the only humans on Earth were dog and horse otherkin.

Posted by: Bruce Boehner at November 24, 2015 05:48 PM (ZdSzs)

342 The best JFK quotes concern the Cold War, the USSR, and Communism. Real red meat.
Hard to believe now that they came from the Democrat.
Posted by: Jay Guevara at November 24, 2015 05:30 PM (oKE6c)

__________

Used to be Dems and Reps weren't that different. They had minor disagreements but generally they all wanted what was best for the country. And then somewhere around 2000ish the Dems just went full blown communist.

Posted by: Monsieur Mew Mew at November 24, 2015 05:48 PM (0LHZx)

343 Special Snowflake: We shouldn't go to war with ISIS. That's just what they want us to do!

Moron: You're saying we should deny them what they want?

Special Snowflake: Yes, they want us to fight them.

Moron: We should withold the one thing they want?

Special Snowflake: Yes.

Moron: That's very stingy of you.

Posted by: weft cut-loop at November 24, 2015 05:48 PM (9YDUz)

344 Ace. That Blog post was a masterpiece...one of your best *golf clap*

Posted by: Mr.KnowItAll at November 24, 2015 05:49 PM (uJK1E)

345 bush for dog catcher.

Posted by: che at November 24, 2015 05:49 PM (cfFyD)

346 I was speaking to my aunt, who was in her mid 70's at the time. We were speaking about Hamas; I said they were terrorists.

She looked at me with the utterly confused look that only a gray haired upper middle class liberal can muster and said, "But they do so much GOOD. They build hospital and schools."

__________

Didn't Hitler build really good highways? How could he possibly have done anything evil?

Posted by: Monsieur Mew Mew at November 24, 2015 05:49 PM (0LHZx)

347 Dot or feather?

Posted by: rickb223 at November 24, 2015 05:46 PM (hQt/L)


Feather. Buffet hates dots. He ordered his secretary to end all sentences with commas. Then he bought the Chicago Style Manual and changed the rules to make it all legal.

Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair at November 24, 2015 05:49 PM (zc3Db)

348 I have a "charming" smug, self-hating Jewish NYC BIL.

He still can't stop making jokes about Sarah Palin.

I'm thinking of saying, "Hey, did you hear that idiot Palin said there are 57 states? LOL! Oops, my bad. That was Obama. How about how she pronounced corpsman? 'Corpseman!' What a dumb ass! Oops, um, that was Obama, again."

Posted by: Jane D'oh at November 24, 2015 05:50 PM (FsuaD)

349 Maybe you can tell vegetarian guests that the turkey was trans-pumpkin - it identified as a pumpkin so it's OK to eat?

Posted by: Lizzy at November 24, 2015 05:50 PM (NOIQH)

350 Most liberals my age love to talk about education and how the system
would drastically improve if only we further increased the amount of
funding they receive. They also like to claim that low test scores are
caused by "lack of materials"/inequality.

Posted by: Miss80sBaby at November 24, 2015 05:50 PM (YjDyJ)

351 $15 minimum wage? Fuck that. I think a fair minimum wage should be (insert what John, the liberal at the table makes) an hour. I think that's a fair wage for someone with no skills or education.

What do you think John?

Posted by: Monsieur Mew Mew at November 24, 2015 05:51 PM (0LHZx)

352 350
Most extra funds end up in union coffers and they damn well know it.

Posted by: Naes at November 24, 2015 05:51 PM (Ypc8j)

353 Used to be Dems and Reps weren't that different.
They had minor disagreements but generally they all wanted what was best
for the country. And then somewhere around 2000ish the Dems just went
full blown communist.

Posted by: Monsieur Mew Mew at November 24, 2015 05:48 PM (0LHZx)


Yep. I've told my boys that. It's hard to believe that the Dems featured JFK, Scoop Jackson, and even LBJ, who provoked the Tonkin Gulf incident just to get involved in a war to fight Communism.

Posted by: Jay Guevara at November 24, 2015 05:52 PM (oKE6c)

354 "Well, we wouldn't be in this mess [in the Middle East] if George Bush hadn't decided to be 'just muscular enough not to be mocked', eh?"

Posted by: Lizzy at November 24, 2015 05:52 PM (NOIQH)

355 350 Most liberals my age love to talk about education and how the system
would drastically improve if only we further increased the amount of
funding they receive. They also like to claim that low test scores are
caused by "lack of materials"/inequality.
Posted by: Miss80sBaby at November 24, 2015 05:50 PM (YjDyJ)

__________

LA gave an ipad to every kid in the school district. And yet amazingly enough even with all that fancy new technology, the vast majority still can't read or write above a 1st grade level.

Solution: 2 ipads I guess.

Posted by: Monsieur Mew Mew at November 24, 2015 05:52 PM (0LHZx)

356 I think I'll bring up the fact I'm actually impressed by Obama's fluency in Austrian. And Mexican.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at November 24, 2015 05:52 PM (FsuaD)

357
Daily Mail has the story that confirms everything we said about those 2 teenage girls who left Austria to go join isis. Both dead as we all said would happen.

Posted by: Guy Mohawk at November 24, 2015 05:52 PM (ODxAs)

358 the native americans ask who invited you here to steal are land whitey?

Posted by: che at November 24, 2015 05:53 PM (cfFyD)

359 Didn't Hitler build really good highways? How could he possibly have done anything evil?

Posted by: Monsieur Mew Mew at November 24, 2015 05:49 PM (0LHZx)


Not only the autobahn, but that torch relay that people love so much to open the Olympics .... Nazis came up with that for the '36 games.

Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair at November 24, 2015 05:53 PM (zc3Db)

360 I think I'll bring up the fact I'm actually impressed by Obama's fluency in Austrian. And Mexican.
Posted by: Jane D'oh

Don't forget his triumphant state visit to Peruvia.

Posted by: Prince Ludwig the #Problematic at November 24, 2015 05:54 PM (/oy1S)

361 "99.4% of the world's wealth is controlled by six-tenths of a single person."

In a world where 94% of all children go to bed hungry every night, THIS is obscene. We must find this six-tenths of a person and STOP HIM/HER/XER NOW.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at November 24, 2015 05:54 PM (8ZskC)

362 The asshole relatives that I don't like I like to talk to them about subtle topics that I know makes them uncomfortable. If their a prude, I mention sex early and often. If their a lefty, I talk about how great our inner cities are doing or guns. If their a SJW, I like to mention all the rayciss things that make up the demoncrat party. You can play this game all night long and never get bored.

Posted by: Hairyback Guy at November 24, 2015 05:54 PM (ej1L0)

363 I think it was Sarah Palin who said, "I can see Syrians from my back yard."

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at November 24, 2015 05:54 PM (NeFrd)

364 They are going to show this video of an Chicago Police Officer shooting a black kid. He was high on drugs, had a knife, and refused all orders to drop it. They also say he was shot in the back?

Ok Let's see?

But again what ever the Cop did, the "Kid" was hardly a Saint apparently?

Posted by: Nevergiveup at November 24, 2015 05:55 PM (DUoqb)

365 I started out this morning going OMG, the bastion of military restrained Islamic countries (Turkey) must have really been invaded by invasive Russian aircraft.

Then I got myself educated about current events in Turkey. Things are a little different now-a-days.

Those f*ckers don't care if they start WWIII. They need a swift kick out of NATO and the EU.

Posted by: free range jihadist at November 24, 2015 05:55 PM (7v/r5)

366 Not only the autobahn, but that torch relay that people love so much to open the Olympics .... Nazis came up with that for the '36 games.


Yeah, Nazis and Big Torch. They worked hand-in-glove.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at November 24, 2015 05:55 PM (8ZskC)

367 I believe the South American earthworm grows to be over six feet long.


Posted by: Grampa Jimbo at November 24, 2015 05:55 PM (1ijHg)

368
Late to the thread, but so on topic:

Feminist blogger boldly makes bread with yeast from her own vagina

http://mashable.com/2015/11/23/blogger-bread-vagina-yeast/

Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at November 24, 2015 05:56 PM (kdS6q)

369 Put 'em in a moral quandary:

"We're taking the leftovers down to the homeless shelter, do you want to donate your piece of pie, Jamie?"

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at November 24, 2015 05:57 PM (NeFrd)

370 Most liberals my age love to talk about education and how the system would drastically improve if only we further increased the amount of funding they receive. They also like to claim that low test scores are caused by "lack of materials"/inequality.

Posted by: Miss80sBaby at November 24, 2015 05:50 PM (YjDyJ)


The really sad part is that the people who have the lowest test scores of all are ... EDUCATORS!! The Education departments are the bottom of the barrel at every university cursed with their useless existences and those going to grad school in Education have the lowest test scores of anyone. They even score lower on the math sections than the sociologists and English grads, which is pretty friggin low. The dumbest people in society are those in K-12 Education, bar none.

Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair at November 24, 2015 05:57 PM (zc3Db)

371 Yeah? Well Marx was a homo.

Posted by: Pappy O'Daniel at November 24, 2015 05:57 PM (oVJmc)

372 I'm thinking of saying, "Hey, did you hear that
idiot Palin said there are 57 states? LOL! Oops, my bad. That was Obama.
How about how she pronounced corpsman? 'Corpseman!' What a dumb ass!
Oops, um, that was Obama, again."


Posted by: Jane D'oh at November 24, 2015 05:50 PM (FsuaD)


I'd suggest leaving Obama out of it. Just attribute the quotes to Palin, and let that one tick away. At some point, when he repeats it, someone will correct him, and he'll be embarrassed retroactively.

Posted by: Jay Guevara at November 24, 2015 05:57 PM (oKE6c)

373 357
Daily Mail has the story that confirms everything we said about those 2 teenage girls who left Austria to go join isis. Both dead as we all said would happen.

What did they expect the IS to be like?! Their promotional materials are revolting.

Posted by: Naes at November 24, 2015 05:57 PM (Ypc8j)

374 Did you know Julius Caesar invented pretzels? That's a true story.

Posted by: tu3031 at November 24, 2015 05:57 PM (YFFpo)

375 Maybe Joyce Carol Oates is a Thanksgivingman?

Posted by: Bruce Boehner at November 24, 2015 05:57 PM (ZdSzs)

376 I believe the South American earthworm grows to be over six feet long.

It's due to their unique genetic gift of being able to transform old rusted automobiles into useful nutrients.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at November 24, 2015 05:57 PM (8ZskC)

377 Then I got myself educated about current events in Turkey. Things are a little different now-a-days.

Those f*ckers don't care if they start WWIII. They need a swift kick out of NATO and the EU.

Posted by: free range jihadist at November 24, 2015 05:55 PM (7v/r5)


Yup.... they shot down a Russian Aircraft, that was over the soil of Syria, their ally....

But the US Admin and Media keep saying it was in 'Turkish Airspace'...

How is it Turkish Airspace, when you shoot down an aircraft over SYRIAN soil?

Posted by: BB Wolf at November 24, 2015 05:58 PM (qh617)

378 Recent studies suggest that smallpox blankets killed off approximately 88% of Native Americans within six weeks after the arrival of the Mayflower.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at November 24, 2015 05:59 PM (8ZskC)

379 Well done, Ace. Well done.

I'm always amused when poor old Mr. Jefferson is dragged from his grave to give witness to some Liberal point or another. At one time he was the Last Word in all things Liberal. But Liberals have, well, changed.

He has lost some traction in late years because Slaver!, and the unproven 'certainty' of Sally Henning's children. In spite of that, it is possible to introduce him into the conversation as a standard against which to compare current political thought/philosophy.

One tack is to mention his 'deism', which immediately will prompt good feelings among any Progressives present, and cause them to assume that you are a Fellow Traveler. It also assists in purchasing an indulgence for Mr. Jefferson.

After a lapse in time, you can toss 'Bernie' (Hillary! will work as well) out as a topic, and see if anyone rises to the bait. When the populist nature of his (her) support is mentioned, it is time to casually quote Jefferson: "Ah, yes, the swinish multitude".

Actually, that works anytime that mob mindset is asserted as justification for anything.

Jefferson, btw, signed a proclamation for a Day of Thanksgiving and Prayer.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at November 24, 2015 05:59 PM (9mTYi)

380 "We're taking the leftovers down to the homeless shelter, do you want to donate your piece of pie, Jamie?"
Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at November 24, 2015 05:57 PM (NeFrd)




Or set a four or five extra places, and when asked, say "We're all going to go down to the homeless shelter and bring back some poor unfortunates."

Posted by: Jay Guevara at November 24, 2015 05:59 PM (oKE6c)

381 I just finished the Iliad in the original Latin.

Posted by: Bob's House of Flannel Shirts and Wallet Chains at November 24, 2015 05:59 PM (vgIRn)

382 Those who can, do. Those who cannot, teach.


Posted by: Grampa Jimbo at November 24, 2015 05:59 PM (1ijHg)

383 357

Daily Mail has the story that confirms everything we said about
those 2 teenage girls who left Austria to go join isis. Both dead as we
all said would happen.




How many times do I have to tell you people?

Posted by: Chuck Darwin at November 24, 2015 06:00 PM (oKE6c)

384 Did you know the Rosenberg's were actually a vaudeville team that were framed by Joe McCarthy? That's a true story.

Posted by: tu3031 at November 24, 2015 06:00 PM (YFFpo)

385 Most extra funds end up in are laundered through union coffers and end up in DNC campaign coffers and they damn well know it.

Posted by: Naes at November 24, 2015 05:51 PM (Ypc8j)





Fixed for accuracy.

Posted by: Country Singer at November 24, 2015 06:00 PM (GUBah)

386 Feminist blogger boldly makes bread with yeast from her own vagina
Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at November 24, 2015 05:56 PM (kdS6q)

breadwinner

Posted by: USA at November 24, 2015 06:00 PM (tfM+W)

387 Sesquipedalianism works well, though not as well as it used to.
Posted by: Merovign, Dark Lord of the Sith at November 24, 2015 04:45 PM


Sesquipedalianism and circumlocution: the hallmarks sure to give away "intelectual" prog nonsense.

Sounds better than "Yeah, well I'm batshit crazy! Pfffft!

Posted by: jow at November 24, 2015 06:01 PM (LNTlg)

388 382 Those who can, do. Those who cannot, teach.

Those who cannot teach, become school teachers through Teach for America to polish the ol' CV.

Posted by: Naes at November 24, 2015 06:01 PM (Ypc8j)

389 As Ghandi said "power grows from the barrel of a gun."

Posted by: Northernlurker at November 24, 2015 06:02 PM (EwgGJ)

390 Ah interesting the peninsula that the Russian plane was shot down over or near was seized from Syria in 1939 and Syria does NOT recognize that land as Turkish......So just like in Israel, then it's not Turkey right? And the Russians were NOT over Turkish Land? Hum? What's good for the goose is good for the gander right?

Posted by: Nevergiveup at November 24, 2015 06:02 PM (DUoqb)

391 Yeah? Well Marx was a homo.

Bi-curious and homo aren't the same thing, knuckledragger.

Posted by: Charlie Sheen at November 24, 2015 06:02 PM (8ZskC)

392 Oooh...I'm going to congratulate husband's prog niece for the "great" work she did teaching frisbee to the "Palestinian" yutes this summer.

30 years old, and still no actual paid employment. Awesome.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at November 24, 2015 06:02 PM (FsuaD)

393 OMG.....that is the perfect comeback to some stupid leftist comment....you know, the bread is made with vagina yeast

Posted by: Mr.KnowItAll at November 24, 2015 06:02 PM (uJK1E)

394 I just finished the Iliad in the original Latin.

I finished mine in polyurethane.

Posted by: Pappy O'Daniel at November 24, 2015 06:02 PM (oVJmc)

395 I didn't say that.

Posted by: Stuff Jefferson Didn't say at November 24, 2015 06:02 PM (z/Ubi)

396 fortunately my family and their guests that arrive for Free food at Thanksgiving to do not speak of politics as i made clear years ago, as My mother did when she hosted it, Thanksgiving is for us only.

Dinner parties however can be icky

but when i do barbecues with lots of likker can be downright scary.

although i do try to use honey instead of vinegar if it is brought up.

Posted by: willow at November 24, 2015 06:03 PM (xpPRn)

397 LA gave an ipad to every kid in the school district. And yet amazingly enough even with all that fancy new technology, the vast majority still can't read or write above a 1st grade level.
Solution: 2 ipads I guess.
Posted by: Monsieur Mew Mew at November 24, 2015 05:52 PM (0LHZx)




For God's sake, man, don't give them ideas!


Of course, there was the small matter of kickbacks to the school district bureaucrats ... so with providing subvention for hard-left Apple, this was kind of a liberal trifecta.

Posted by: Chuck Darwin at November 24, 2015 06:03 PM (oKE6c)

398 "intelectual" = intellectual

Posted by: jow, now that's ironic at November 24, 2015 06:03 PM (LNTlg)

399 You people are so brave.

Back in the day, Mom and Dad had a solution to this at Thanksgiving: only invite people over you know are not going to be @ssholes. There were never any arguments, never any drama.

And if your relatively are all libtards? Don't accept their invitation. Go to a freaking buffet by yourself, take a book and revel in the fact that your other relatives are too stupid to avoid the holiday like you just did.

Posted by: shibumi who is awash in existential dread at November 24, 2015 06:03 PM (9JJgN)

400 Oooh...I'm going to congratulate husband's prog niece for the "great" work she did teaching frisbee to the "Palestinian" yutes this summer.

The road to hell is paved with...

ME.

Wait, what?

Posted by: Rachel Corrie at November 24, 2015 06:03 PM (8ZskC)

401 As Spinoza said "en vino es veritas."

Posted by: Northernlurker at November 24, 2015 06:04 PM (EwgGJ)

402 367 - and the South American tapeworms come here and grow to be six feet tall.

Posted by: vivi at November 24, 2015 06:04 PM (11H2y)

403 391 Yeah? Well Marx was a homo.

Bi-curious and homo aren't the same thing, knuckledragger.
Posted by: Charlie Sheen at November 24, 2015 06:02 PM (8ZskC)



If you're blowing a dude, bi-curious went running out the door the moment you got on your knees.

Posted by: Stuff Jefferson Didn't say at November 24, 2015 06:04 PM (z/Ubi)

404 >>Feminist blogger boldly makes bread with yeast from her own vagina

Sourdough or...bitterdough?

Posted by: Lizzy at November 24, 2015 06:05 PM (NOIQH)

405 As Spinoza said "en vino es veritas."


I thought that was Maimonides.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at November 24, 2015 06:05 PM (8ZskC)

406 Marx was such a deep and profound thinker that we so desperately need today *taps chin* not only that, I loved his TV show when the little duck would come down with the magic word!

Posted by: Cheri at November 24, 2015 06:05 PM (oiNtH)

407 In the past, I've complimented Zero's excellent abilities in reading the teleprompter.

I'm pretty sure Koko the gorilla could be trained to do that, but I don't add that fact.

Posted by: shibumi who is awash in existential dread at November 24, 2015 06:05 PM (9JJgN)

408 Thanks for the tome of wisdom. Its fairly easy to counter (sans 'backhand') the darling fragile snowflakes thru one, gentile, and solemn statement -

"Ya know, I'm finding myself in support for retroactive abortions..."

The Moon-eyed, long faces are priceless...

Posted by: Ibin Pharteen at November 24, 2015 06:05 PM (s3I9l)

409 Sock off.

Posted by: Jay Guevara at November 24, 2015 06:05 PM (oKE6c)

410 Complement the hostess on the quality of Her supercilious meatballs.

Posted by: Northernlurker at November 24, 2015 06:06 PM (EwgGJ)

411 They are going to show this video of an Chicago Police Officer shooting a black kid. He was high on drugs, had a knife, and refused all orders to drop it. They also say he was shot in the back?

Ok Let's see?

But again what ever the Cop did, the "Kid" was hardly a Saint apparently?
Posted by: Nevergiveup
-------------------------

Lots of outrage.

The murdered pregnant wife of the minister in Indy, not so much.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at November 24, 2015 06:06 PM (9mTYi)

412 >>Oooh...I'm going to congratulate husband's prog niece for the "great"
work she did teaching frisbee to the "Palestinian" yutes this summer.


Maybe ask her if it helped them with their aim when throwing ricks at IDF?
Because, well-done if that's the case. Not.

Posted by: Lizzy at November 24, 2015 06:06 PM (NOIQH)

413 Another useful one: "You're unique! Just like everybody else!"

Posted by: Jay Guevara at November 24, 2015 06:06 PM (oKE6c)

414 If the grownchild brags about her job at a local non-profit foundation, congratulate her for not accepting a salary, in keeping with the spirit of the season.

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at November 24, 2015 06:07 PM (NeFrd)

415 >>Oooh...I'm going to congratulate husband's prog niece for the "great"
work she did teaching frisbee to the "Palestinian" yutes this summer.




Tell her that an imam just issued a fatwa declaring frisbees haram.

Posted by: Jay Guevara at November 24, 2015 06:07 PM (oKE6c)

416 Ancient Greeks were first to can plutonium jelly. I would like to try it, but that would be cultural appropriation.

Posted by: USA at November 24, 2015 06:07 PM (tfM+W)

417 >>>As Spinoza said "en vino es veritas."


I thought that was Maimonides.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at November 24, 2015 06:05 PM (8ZskC)


Ba-ram-bam. *cymbal crash*

Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair at November 24, 2015 06:08 PM (zc3Db)

418 Military service is as foreign to my husband's family as having a Martian in their midst.

I've told this before, but on the eve of son's deployment to Afghanistan, we spent what probably could have been his last Christmas on earth with husband's prog family.

30 year-old unemployed niece told him, loudly, in front of other younger cousins, "I just want you to know. I don't support your service. Are you going to enjoy killing people?!?" Son was shocked and hurt.

We didn't hear about it until we had left her idiot life coach mom's house. When my husband angrily told his late dad and his mom about it, they refused to believe our son.

They can all go fuck themselves. I put up with them for one day a year. Sadly, it's my favorite holiday, Christmas.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at November 24, 2015 06:08 PM (FsuaD)

419 You uncle Fido. We have to do demeaning tricks for our snackies but cats get theirs for nothing. #EndSnackiesPrivilege

Posted by: #BlackLabsMatter


I know, right? Fight the power!

Posted by: Seigfried and Roy's tiger at November 24, 2015 06:08 PM (LAe3v)

420 Feminist blogger boldly makes bread with yeast from her own vagina

Sourdough or...bitterdough?

*****

Pump 'er nickel.

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at November 24, 2015 06:08 PM (NeFrd)

421 403 391 Yeah? Well Marx was a homo.
Bi-curious and homo aren't the same thing, knuckledragger.
Posted by: Charlie Sheen at November 24, 2015 06:02 PM (8ZskC)
If you're blowing a dude, bi-curious went running out the door the moment you got on your knees.
Posted by: Stuff Jefferson Didn't say at November 24, 2015 06:04 PM (z/Ubi)




Charlie Sheen blew Karl Marx?

Posted by: Jay Guevara at November 24, 2015 06:08 PM (oKE6c)

422 Ba-ram-bam. *cymbal crash*

ISWYDT

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at November 24, 2015 06:09 PM (8ZskC)

423 Points to anyone that can get them nodding along to the name Rufio or the use of Bang-a-rang.

That's when you throw a pie in their face.

Posted by: buzzion at November 24, 2015 06:09 PM (z/Ubi)

424 "More people are killed every year by shooting accidentally shooting
themselves than who died in all the wars in the world combined, except
for the Korean War."

My all time favorite wild bullshit, pulled-out-of-the-air statistical factoid:

"Since 1965, the 'War on Poverty' with the expanded welfare state has cost America more money than every single one of the military wars America has ever fought, from Iraq and Afghanistan going back all the way to the Revolutionary War, *combined*."

Oh. Wait. That particular statistical factoid is actually true.

Never mind.

Posted by: torquewrench at November 24, 2015 06:09 PM (noWW6)

425 329 Is there any establishment republican you don't shill for?

Every day I see more instances in which the center-right has not only accepted but embraced moral relativism with as much enthusiasm as liberals and Hahn's article is yet another example of that. First, there is no way of knowing how many refugees would be able to pass through a stronger system without actually implementing said system, yet Hahn places the number at 85,000. She never says where she got 85,000 but we are to assume it as fact. Second, I read the transcript of the interview in question and Rubio mentioned the House bill as an example. He is also differentiating between refugees who are not are enemies (e.g., "a Chaldean priest from the Middle East") versus those that are. Confusingly, Hahn's article sometimes refers to all refugees, then randomly switches to Syrian refugees, and so on an so forth. Finally, Hahn falsely assumes that all Syrian refugees- regardless of religion and age- are necessarily future terrorists. Branding all (not some, but all) of them as terrorists is avoiding a discussion of the real immigration problem here, which is lack of assimilation due to sharia law.

Posted by: Miss80sBaby at November 24, 2015 06:09 PM (YjDyJ)

426 "Did you know cranberries are a super food, four times the antioxidants of Acai berries!"

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at November 24, 2015 06:09 PM (NeFrd)

427 i have one child Obama supporter that is absolutely enthralled with Him.
asked me why i don't like him, i just said he is a detestable liar and agitator . go read his book and speeches since, look at the division of our society that He and his administration has encouraged.

a President is 2 terms at most but his hateful rhetoric pitting citizens against citizens will last decades

i said what is to like about that? You like the citizenry being stirred up against eachother? we that were proud of our melting pot

Posted by: willow at November 24, 2015 06:10 PM (xpPRn)

428 How hot are the women at leftist causes? I sometimes think I should join a leftist protest or event just to meet women, even though I don't belong. Similar to "Wedding Crashers" or Fawn Leibowitz. Are there any instructional sites on this that could help me? Thanks in advance.

Posted by: Bruce Boehner at November 24, 2015 06:10 PM (E5UB0)

429 420 Feminist blogger boldly makes bread with yeast from her own vagina

Sourdough or...bitterdough?

*****

Pump 'er nickel.
Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at November 24, 2015 06:08 PM (NeFrd)



Italian Herb and Cheese.

Posted by: buzzion at November 24, 2015 06:10 PM (z/Ubi)

430 >>Feminist blogger boldly makes bread with yeast from her own vagina



Oh, she'll make some man person very happy unhappy.

Posted by: Jay Guevara at November 24, 2015 06:10 PM (oKE6c)

431 Did you know Marx was also a Starbucks barista?

Posted by: Northernlurker at November 24, 2015 06:10 PM (EwgGJ)

432 Said with a mouthful of succulent turkey, "Hey, how's the tofu?"

Posted by: Jay Guevara at November 24, 2015 05:24 PM (oKE6c)


Or, "Enjoying your lawn clippings?"

Posted by: OregonMuse at November 24, 2015 06:10 PM (vIdH4)

433 They can all go fuck themselves. I put up with them for one day a year. Sadly, it's my favorite holiday, Christmas.


Posted by: Jane D'oh

Ugh, awful Jane. Progs would gladly have conservatives killed or rounded up in re-education camps and they always project their hatred onto others.

Posted by: Cheri at November 24, 2015 06:11 PM (oiNtH)

434 Sure, bread is great, but can you get pie out of there?

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at November 24, 2015 06:11 PM (8ZskC)

435 seamus i love cranberry sauce. i am only one of two of my family.

Posted by: willow at November 24, 2015 06:12 PM (xpPRn)

436 Feminist blogger boldly makes bread with yeast from her own vagina
Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at November 24, 2015 05:56 PM (kdS6q)




Perfect for when you're hankerin' for a vegan fish sandwich!

Posted by: Country Singer at November 24, 2015 06:12 PM (GUBah)

437 also good for bladder infection

Posted by: willow at November 24, 2015 06:12 PM (xpPRn)

438 Why don't people say "Let's put a moratorium on politics for the four hours we're together?".

^^^^^

I believe this falls under the "misery loves company" thing.

Posted by: Mandy P., lurking lurker who lurks at November 24, 2015 06:12 PM (KkVB6)

439 ISWYDT

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at November 24, 2015 06:09 PM (8ZskC)


I wasn't sure anyone would catch it. Too tribal

Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair at November 24, 2015 06:13 PM (zc3Db)

440 How is it Turkish Airspace, when you shoot down an aircraft over SYRIAN soil?
Posted by: BB Wolf at November 24, 2015 05:58 PM (qh617)


Unfortunately, I don't think there's any 'challenge flag' and instant replay in the Age of Obama.

The Turkeyians (sic) can boo the Parisian deaths while chanting Allhua Akbar all they want. They need to be out of NATO.

Posted by: free range jihadist at November 24, 2015 06:13 PM (7v/r5)

441 "He was high on drugs, had a knife, and refused all orders to drop it. They also say he was shot in the back?"

That fine young man was literally "turning his life around" _at that very moment_ when the racist cops opened fire.

Posted by: torquewrench at November 24, 2015 06:13 PM (noWW6)

442 A young Adolf Hitler liked wearing skinny jeans.

Posted by: Northernlurker at November 24, 2015 06:13 PM (EwgGJ)

443 Aaaand now I have to do my least favorite thing every year:

Handle the raw turkey.

On the upside, even though I love turkey, after being "intimate" with its innards, I lose my appetite.

I typically lose 4-5 lbs. over the holiday. So, yaay.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at November 24, 2015 06:13 PM (FsuaD)

444 Johnny Utah was a rebel.

Posted by: Bertram Cabot Jr. at November 24, 2015 06:13 PM (FkBIv)

445 418 - OMG. How is your son doing? What an awful story.

Posted by: vivi at November 24, 2015 06:13 PM (11H2y)

446 how close does one have to be to a perp for a stun gun?

Posted by: willow at November 24, 2015 06:14 PM (xpPRn)

447 428- Bruce it won't go over well after you tape her mouth shut or go on a date with ear plugs

Posted by: Skip at November 24, 2015 06:14 PM (KSdzX)

448 Posted by: Jane D'oh at November 24, 2015 06:08 PM (FsuaD)

Are they Southerners, Jane?

If not, what are they doing living there in decidedly unprogressive Georgia? Shouldn't they be in Vermont or Madison or Berkeley?

Posted by: Keef Richards at November 24, 2015 06:14 PM (P8951)

449 Feminist blogger boldly makes bread with yeast from her own vagina


*****

Get back to me when she can put mushrooms on a pizza.

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at November 24, 2015 06:15 PM (NeFrd)

450 Johnny Utah was a rebel.

Posted by: Bertram Cabot Jr. at November 24, 2015 06:13 PM (FkBIv)


And brave beyond words ... having been a national personality and then shifting to undercover FBI work.

Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair at November 24, 2015 06:15 PM (zc3Db)

451 418 "Military service is as foreign to my husband's family as having a Martian in their midst.

I've
told this before, but on the eve of son's deployment to Afghanistan, we
spent what probably could have been his last Christmas on earth with
husband's prog family.

30 year-old unemployed niece told him,
loudly, in front of other younger cousins, "I just want you to know. I
don't support your service. Are you going to enjoy killing people?!?"
Son was shocked and hurt.

We didn't hear about it until we had
left her idiot life coach mom's house. When my husband angrily told his
late dad and his mom about it, they refused to believe our son.

They can all go fuck themselves. I put up with them for one day a year. Sadly, it's my favorite holiday, Christmas."

Sorry to hear that Jane - Some people are just intollerable, and have the social graces of a thrown brick. Take heart, such 'compassion' would mount a waterfall if ever in danger, longing for rescue.

I'd cut the cable just before entering into the chopper... If I recognized her...

My retort to said darling cousin would have been - "yep, its not a job, its an adventure!" or humming the Megadeath tome "Killing is my business..."

Or, an upturned middle finger. Its hard to choose, lost in the moment.

Posted by: Ibin Pharteen at November 24, 2015 06:15 PM (s3I9l)

452 The Chinese invented Turkey stuffing. Marco Polo brought it back with him.

Posted by: Northernlurker at November 24, 2015 06:16 PM (EwgGJ)

453 >>but when i do barbecues with lots of likker can be downright scary.

although i do try to use honey instead of vinegar if it is brought up.
Posted by: willow

Good idea. Cover them in honey and stake them out over a fire ant hill.

Posted by: Aviator at November 24, 2015 06:16 PM (c7vUv)

454 Real quotes from prog heroes are fun too. This one comes to more more often recently:

I do believe that, where there is only a choice between cowardice and violence, I would advise violence...

as are some others of his suggesting force of arms. Seems to contradict some of his other pronouncements but I admit to knowing his work about as well as any lib knows most of their historical references, ie: not well.

Posted by: jow, now that's ironic at November 24, 2015 06:16 PM (LNTlg)

455 Feminist blogger boldly makes bread with yeast from her own vagina


---
please tell me this is b.s?

Posted by: willow at November 24, 2015 06:16 PM (xpPRn)

456 Get back to me when she can put mushrooms on a pizza.

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at November 24, 2015 06:15 PM (NeFrd)




Sounds like a performer I saw in Thailand. Except she was using a banana.

Posted by: Country Singer at November 24, 2015 06:16 PM (GUBah)

457 "Feminist blogger boldly makes bread with yeast from her own vagina"

The female members of the Horde are not given to following oddball lefty fads, but in this case, if one did, would the result be a bagu-'ette?

Posted by: torquewrench at November 24, 2015 06:17 PM (noWW6)

458 443 Aaaand now I have to do my least favorite thing every year:

Handle the raw turkey.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at November 24, 2015 06:13 PM
==========

Here, let me help.

http://tinyurl.com/httudkf

Posted by: olddog in mo at November 24, 2015 06:17 PM (c/3OG)

459 Ugh. Off,druggy old rock star sock.

Posted by: Donna&&&&V (a white) (whitely brandishing ampersand privilege ) at November 24, 2015 06:17 PM (P8951)

460 for added fun, try this: when one of the grownchildren makes any random statement, say "that could be considered a microaggression."

personally, I think this would work best for the grandparent era, since they're not supposed to have any clue about microggressions.

Posted by: shibumi who is awash in existential dread at November 24, 2015 06:17 PM (9JJgN)

461 Feminist blogger boldly makes bread with yeast from her own vagina


---
please tell me this is b.s?

Posted by: willow at November 24, 2015 06:16 PM (xpPRn)


If she serves chocolate macaroons ... just say "No".

Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair at November 24, 2015 06:18 PM (zc3Db)

462 352 350 Most extra funds end up in union coffers and they damn well know it.

Indeed, but if funding alone determined how well a child will be educated then our children should be outperforming the rest of the world. Same goes for supplies and materials. I find they get rather upset if you point-out that, generally-speaking, children were once far more knowledgeable than they are now despite lower funding and fewer materials. For example, one of my great-grandfathers was pulled out of school after third grade, IIRC, yet he could spell far better than some modern college graduates.

Posted by: Miss80sBaby at November 24, 2015 06:18 PM (YjDyJ)

463 Posted by: Nevergiveup at November 24, 2015 06:02 PM (DUoqb)

From what I have read... they may have flown briefly over Turkish Land... while bombing the Turkish supported Turkoman Rebels...

Question is did the Turkish F-16 then enter Syria to shoot down the Russian?

Pulling the trigger over foreign soil, is way different than pulling the trigger over your own soil... at least under the 'old' rules we used to sort of play by....

Posted by: BB Wolf at November 24, 2015 06:18 PM (qh617)

464 Good idea. Cover them in honey and stake them out over a fire ant hill.
Posted by: Aviator at November 24, 2015 06:16 PM (c7vUv)

i like this. but i will have to find plausible deniability with this tactic.

Posted by: willow at November 24, 2015 06:18 PM (xpPRn)

465 you walk in my front door and start talking shit you're going right back out the fing door...

not that we're having guests over anyway.

Posted by: redc1c4 at November 24, 2015 06:18 PM (7+yyM)

466 >> if one did, would the result be a bagu-'ette?

So the feminist one is a hag-'ette?

Posted by: Lizzy at November 24, 2015 06:19 PM (NOIQH)

467 Are they Southerners, Jane?



If not, what are they doing living there in decidedly unprogressive
Georgia? Shouldn't they be in Vermont or Madison or Berkeley?

Posted by: Keef Richards at November 24, 2015 06:14 PM (P8951)


They (most of them) are so-called Southerners. The ones in Georgia live in progressive Atlanta, or as those of us on the coast call it, Federally Occupied Atlanta. Heh.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at November 24, 2015 06:19 PM (FsuaD)

468 Yeah? Well Marx was a homo.
Posted by: Pappy O'Daniel at November 24, 2015 05:57 PM (oVJmc)

Karl not only never worked a day in his life but spent most days in his local library smelling up the place and did suffer from boils constantly during his life so hopefully he suffered tremendous pain while he lived the nasty bastard.

Posted by: Hairyback Guy at November 24, 2015 06:19 PM (ej1L0)

469 Feminist blogger boldly makes bread with yeast from her own vagina


But how does she get the big wood spatula in and out without getting splinters?

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at November 24, 2015 06:19 PM (8ZskC)

470 460 for added fun, try this: when one of the grownchildren makes any random statement, say "that could be considered a microaggression."

personally, I think this would work best for the grandparent era, since they're not supposed to have any clue about microggressions.


Posted by: shibumi who is awash in existential dread at November 24, 2015 06:17 PM (9JJgN)


LOL.... so gonna steel that...

but add in... 'warning, you are violating my safe zone!'....

Posted by: BB Wolf at November 24, 2015 06:19 PM (qh617)

471 If she serves chocolate macaroons ... just say "No".
Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair at November 24, 2015 06:18 PM (zc3Db)

if she makes ANYTHING, it will accidentally hit the floor, how do i know she washes her hands if she is so insane?

Posted by: willow at November 24, 2015 06:20 PM (xpPRn)

472
464 Good idea. Cover them in honey and stake them out over a fire ant hill.
Posted by: Aviator at November 24, 2015 06:16 PM (c7vUv)

i like this. but i will have to find plausible deniability with this tactic.
Posted by: willow at November 24, 2015 06:18 PM (xpPRn)



"You know how they start doing Wierd things like that after a few wine coolers."

Posted by: Buzzion at November 24, 2015 06:20 PM (z/Ubi)

473 I would ask, "Does a microaggression require special scientific equipment to detect?"

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at November 24, 2015 06:20 PM (NeFrd)

474 The S getting ready to HTF in Chicago.

ThanksgivingMan will be no help.

Prayers for Windy City Morons.

Posted by: Golfman - Xenophobe Extrodinaire at November 24, 2015 06:20 PM (48QDY)

475 Feminist blogger boldly makes bread with yeast from her own vagina

Instead of bundt cake, she makes...

Posted by: Pappy O'Daniel at November 24, 2015 06:20 PM (oVJmc)

476 Hard wood doesn't splinter as easy as soft wood

Posted by: Skip at November 24, 2015 06:20 PM (KSdzX)

477
The S getting ready to HTF in Chicago.


Gee.

They might become violent.

Posted by: Pappy O'Daniel at November 24, 2015 06:21 PM (oVJmc)

478 So I take it one would eat this vaginal yeast bread with salami.

Posted by: Northernlurker at November 24, 2015 06:21 PM (EwgGJ)

479
"You know how they start doing Wierd things like that after a few wine coolers."
Posted by: Buzzion at November 24, 2015 06:20 PM (z/Ubi)

true, but i'm usually the designated straight woman.
so i would srsly have to have a good reason to not show up for that.

like another run for more likker!

Posted by: willow at November 24, 2015 06:22 PM (xpPRn)

480 Ba-ram-bam. *cymbal crash*

ISWYDT
Posted by: Cicero (@cicero)
------------------------------------------
Just weird that they would have thought of those sorts of nicknames way back in those days. Like Bennifer or Gronk.

Posted by: Bruce Boehner at November 24, 2015 06:22 PM (E5UB0)

481 Libchild Jamie: "Oh, Uncle Seamus, that's a micro agression."


Uncle Seamus: "As my former histology professor used to say, 'Here's the same sample magnified by a power of 10."

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at November 24, 2015 06:22 PM (NeFrd)

482 Cheese-stuft™ crust pizza dough!

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at November 24, 2015 06:23 PM (NeFrd)

483 My aggression is definitely macro.

Posted by: Weasel at November 24, 2015 06:23 PM (e3bId)

484
From what I have read... they may have flown briefly over Turkish Land... while bombing the Turkish supported Turkoman Rebels...

Question is did the Turkish F-16 then enter Syria to shoot down the Russian?

Pulling the trigger over foreign soil, is way different than pulling the trigger over your own soil... at least under the 'old' rules we used to sort of play by....
Posted by: BB Wolf at November 24, 2015 06:18 PM (qh617)


No you miss my point. That peninsula that Turkey claims as it's own was seized from Syria in 1939.. Syria does not recognize that Peninsula as Turkish, but claims it for it's own.. THAT was my point.

Posted by: Nevergiveup at November 24, 2015 06:24 PM (DUoqb)

485 argh, we do have a cute little stripper that has shown up for Thansgiving a couple of times, daughters spouses brothers squeeze.

Posted by: willow at November 24, 2015 06:25 PM (xpPRn)

486 30 year-old unemployed niece told him, loudly, in
front of other younger cousins, "I just want you to know. I don't
support your service. Are you going to enjoy killing people?!?" Son was
shocked and hurt.
Posted by: Jane D'oh at November 24, 2015 06:08 PM


Damn, Jane, I remember you telling the story but I don't remember the quote being that viscous. Just...damn.

Posted by: jow at November 24, 2015 06:25 PM (LNTlg)

487 370 The really sad part is that the people who have the lowest test scores of all are ... EDUCATORS!! The Education departments are the bottom of the barrel at every university cursed with their useless existences and those going to grad school in Education have the lowest test scores of anyone. They even score lower on the math sections than the sociologists and English grads, which is pretty friggin low. The dumbest people in society are those in K-12 Education, bar none.

One of the reasons why that is the case is because far too many Schools of Education emphasize education credits over field of study. Some of the education courses required are absolutely ridiculous. For instance, during my brief stint (a year), we had to take a class about how to make good posters and things for your classroom. Now posters can be a useful guide but actually studying how to "properly" make a poster?

Posted by: Miss80sBaby at November 24, 2015 06:25 PM (YjDyJ)

488 418
Wow. Your son is a saint. I didn't serve but reading that makes my blood boil. How could anybody be that rude especially to a family member?

Posted by: Naes at November 24, 2015 06:26 PM (Ypc8j)

489
They can all go fuck themselves. I put up with them for one day a year. Sadly, it's my favorite holiday, Christmas.


Posted by: Jane D'oh at November 24, 2015 06:08 PM (FsuaD)


Uh.... except for self imposed social obligation.... why put up with it on your favorite day?

No is also a viable answer to invitations... and you can always pick a different day of the year to put up with their crap...

Posted by: BB Wolf at November 24, 2015 06:26 PM (qh617)

490 Hatay Province

Sovereignty over the province remains disputed with neighbouring Syria, which claims that the province was separated from itself against the stipulations of the French Mandate of Syria in the years following Syrias independence from the Ottoman Empire after World War I. Although the two countries have remained generally peaceful in their dispute over the territory, Syria has never formally renounced its rights to it. Its provincial capital is the city of Hatay.

Posted by: Nevergiveup at November 24, 2015 06:27 PM (DUoqb)

491 Talk about this article you read in Psychology Today about the micro aggression of potlucks and the hot dish.
Church potlucks are, after all culturally appropriative of the Squamish.

Posted by: Northernlurker at November 24, 2015 06:28 PM (EwgGJ)

492 490 Hatay Province

It's also predominantly Alawite which is Assad's sect.

Posted by: Naes at November 24, 2015 06:28 PM (Ypc8j)

493 Just weird that they would have thought of those sorts of nicknames way back in those days. Like Bennifer or Gronk.

Posted by: Bruce Boehner at November 24, 2015 06:22 PM (E5UB0)


Somebody needs to tell the rappers to stop their cultural appropriation and just use their regular names. After all, most of them have regular names that are retarded enough for the rap stage, anyway.

Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair at November 24, 2015 06:28 PM (zc3Db)

494 No you miss my point. That peninsula that Turkey claims as it's own was seized from Syria in 1939.. Syria does not recognize that Peninsula as Turkish, but claims it for it's own.. THAT was my point.

Posted by: Nevergiveup at November 24, 2015 06:24 PM (DUoqb)


ah.... got it....

Whole thing just reeks...

/obligatory Admiral Painter quote... "This business will get out of control. It will get out of control and we'll be lucky to live through it. "

Posted by: BB Wolf at November 24, 2015 06:28 PM (qh617)

495 Streisand got her Medal of Freedom today.

Posted by: People who hate people at November 24, 2015 06:28 PM (FkBIv)

496 Feminist blogger boldly makes bread with yeast from her own vagina

Every recipe I've ever consulted suggests that dough needs to be 'punched down' at a certain point.

I guess I'll just sit in the 'time out' corner over here and ponder my microaggression until I figure it out.

Posted by: free range jihadist at November 24, 2015 06:28 PM (7v/r5)

497 Yeast womyn has an infection and it sounds like a severe one. I recall reading that yeast infections can be so bad they result in sterility.

We can only hope. This scrunt certainly should not reproduce.

Posted by: Donna&&&&V (a white) (whitely brandishing ampersand privilege ) at November 24, 2015 06:29 PM (P8951)

498 Posted by: Jane D'oh at November 24, 2015 06:08 PM (FsuaD)

God Bless you Jane. I'd smack a bitch.

Invite them to your Memorial Day celebration.

Shame their dumb ass.

Posted by: Golfman - Xenophobe Extrodinaire at November 24, 2015 06:29 PM (48QDY)

499 I've actually used this one. It was Testicles (pronounced Tess-ti-Cleez) who said "endeavor to persevere."

Posted by: Duke Lowell at November 24, 2015 06:30 PM (kTF2Z)

500 Micro-aggressions are best received when the pie, ice cream, and whipped topping is being served.

Posted by: Fritz at November 24, 2015 06:30 PM (3tjn4)

501 Feminist blogger boldly makes bread with yeast from her own vagina

****

That's the last thing we knead.

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at November 24, 2015 06:30 PM (NeFrd)

502 "For instance, during my brief stint (a year), we had to take a class
about how to make good posters and things for your classroom."

The Derek Zoolander Institute For Teachers Who Can't Make Posters Good And Wanna Learn To Do Other Stuff Good Too.

Posted by: torquewrench at November 24, 2015 06:30 PM (noWW6)

503 One of the reasons why that is the case is because far too many Schools of Education emphasize education credits over field of study.

There's a reason for this ... but I won't go into it right now.

Some of the education courses required are absolutely ridiculous. For instance, during my brief stint (a year), we had to take a class about how to make good posters and things for your classroom. Now posters can be a useful guide but actually studying how to "properly" make a poster?

Posted by: Miss80sBaby at November 24, 2015 06:25 PM (YjDyJ)


This is true. Education Departments are playgrounds for imbeciles. The fact that anyone lets these idiots actually opine (let alone decide) about school curricula is pathetic.

Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair at November 24, 2015 06:32 PM (zc3Db)

504
Uh.... except for self imposed social obligation.... why put up with it on your favorite day?



No is also a viable answer to invitations... and you can always pick a different day of the year to put up with their crap...

Posted by: BB Wolf at November 24, 2015 06:26 PM (qh617)


Husband wants to spend how ever many Christmases he can with his 92 y.o. mother. I don't blame him.

He's promised once she's gone, we'll spend holidays here. Son really, really wants to stay here, as well.


She's a healthy and tough old bird. Will probably easily make it to 100+.


*sigh*

Posted by: Jane D'oh at November 24, 2015 06:32 PM (FsuaD)

505 Posted by: torquewrench at November 24, 2015 06:30 PM (noWW6)

I considered.

Turned out I deferred to a superior.

Posted by: Golfman - Xenophobe Extrodinaire at November 24, 2015 06:32 PM (48QDY)

506 It helps to use a relatively obscure, but not completely unknown, source for your Deep Thought.

Example:

"I believe it was Spinoza who said, 'The collective wisdom of the people can be condensed into the love of a strong leader.'"

Posted by: logprof at November 24, 2015 06:32 PM (vsbNu)

507 Teachers Poster Seminar, Breakout Session in Resource Room 2B 10:00 to 10:45 (Light snacks provided)


"Elmer's or Velcro--You Make The Call"

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at November 24, 2015 06:32 PM (NeFrd)

508 Who will help me make my bread?

Posted by: Little red feminist hen at November 24, 2015 06:32 PM (FkBIv)

509 Jane when my children were young i had a whiteboard OF HOUSE RULES on the outside wall of entrance door.

for their friends. perhaps do that at Your home 'family rules' if you are expected to host.

might as well if they are going to be uncouth.

Posted by: willow at November 24, 2015 06:33 PM (xpPRn)

510 It should be easy to nod sagely while making bread stuffing.

Posted by: Northernlurker at November 24, 2015 06:33 PM (EwgGJ)

511 Video. Up. Graphic.

Posted by: Golfman - Xenophobe Extrodinaire at November 24, 2015 06:33 PM (48QDY)

512 Posted by: Duke Lowell at November 24, 2015 06:30 PM (kTF2Z)


I confess that I intend to appropriate that.

Posted by: USA at November 24, 2015 06:34 PM (tfM+W)

513 It should be easy to nod sagely while making bread stuffing.

Posted by: Northernlurker

***

Heh!

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at November 24, 2015 06:34 PM (NeFrd)

514 I'm watching two attractive women having an intense conversation in French. Much eye contact being made.

Posted by: Northernlurker at November 24, 2015 06:35 PM (EwgGJ)

515 Heh. I'm making all the pies/deserts except one: ordered a delicious-sounding pie, called "Piggy Pecan" from a gourmet take-out.

There's bacon fat in the crust.

Suck it, smug hipster vegetarians. I'm not telling.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at November 24, 2015 06:35 PM (FsuaD)

516 "Render unto God what is God's, and render unto Caesar everything else."

Posted by: Stuff Jesus Said at November 24, 2015 06:35 PM (vsbNu)

517 Say Ace, how do you say "can I watch?" Em francais.

Posted by: Northernlurker at November 24, 2015 06:36 PM (EwgGJ)

518 499 I've actually used this one. It was Testicles (pronounced Tess-ti-Cleez) who said "endeavor to persevere."
Posted by: Duke Lowell at November 24, 2015 06:30 PM (kTF2Z)
-------------
OTOH, I believe it was Mediocrities who said "persevere in all endeavors."

Posted by: Margarita DeVille at November 24, 2015 06:36 PM (T/5A0)

519 Testicles (pronounced Tess-ti-Cleez) writings came in fits and spurts, but mostly out of passion.

Posted by: USA at November 24, 2015 06:37 PM (tfM+W)

520 503 This is true. Education Departments are playgrounds for imbeciles. The fact that anyone lets these idiots actually opine (let alone decide) about school curricula is pathetic.

We also had to read William Ayers. Of course the education professors never mentioned his radical background. Only my adviser (associate history professor) understood why I disliked reading his material.

Posted by: Miss80sBaby at November 24, 2015 06:37 PM (YjDyJ)

521 It sorry, that was kind of perverse. I denounce myself.

Posted by: Northernlurker at November 24, 2015 06:37 PM (EwgGJ)

522 Hey, who did I have to blow to get that nice new thread?

Posted by: Charlie Sheen wants a new thread at November 24, 2015 06:38 PM (AC0lD)

523 new post

new post

new post

Posted by: willow at November 24, 2015 06:38 PM (xpPRn)

524 Ace, this was really good.

Thanks.

Posted by: Seems Legit at November 24, 2015 06:38 PM (OWndX)

525 OTOH, I believe it was Mediocrities who said "persevere in all endeavors."
Posted by: Margarita DeVille at November 24, 2015 06:36 PM (T/5A0)

I thought Mediocrities said, "always start what you can not finish"

Posted by: USA at November 24, 2015 06:39 PM (tfM+W)

526 Now that I think of it, if you *really* want to troll them, make up a bullshit socialist quote and attribute it to someone like Hayek or Milton Friedman and find out their reaction.

Posted by: logprof at November 24, 2015 06:39 PM (vsbNu)

527 Sun Tzu said he would win at war must first surrender b

Posted by: Northernlurker at November 24, 2015 06:40 PM (EwgGJ)

528 And, for those PETA-ettes, a simple retort would be

"prevent animal cruelty - save a horse, ride a cowboy...."

Posted by: Ibin Pharteen at November 24, 2015 06:47 PM (s3I9l)

529 >> It was Testicles (pronounced Tess-ti-Cleez) who said "endeavor to persevere."

Hahahahahahahaha!!

Posted by: Lizzy at November 24, 2015 06:49 PM (NOIQH)

530 >>>And brave beyond words ... having been a national personality and then shifting to undercover FBI work.
Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair


all of the inanities of Point Break make sense when you realize the same writer wrote Varsity Blues. like Moxon leading his team to playoffs only to state 2 seconds later in the voiceover he never played football again

Posted by: x at November 24, 2015 06:54 PM (57fhp)

531 "Did you know tha Rachel Maddow was the first female admitted to the Chetwyn Society when she was at Oxford? The Chetwyn ... not sure how it's spelled exactly ... is a cross between Mensa and The Skull and Bones for Englishmen only, that is before she crashed the party. Of course it's not not on Google. It's a secret society ... not surprising you haven't heard of it. She had them fooled completely. ... No, I meant that she fooled them that she was English! What did you think I meant?"

Posted by: Ben Ghazzara at November 24, 2015 06:55 PM (9gw14)

532 I would say "Terrorism! How stupid! Everybody knows they're just in Paris."

Posted by: PJ at November 24, 2015 06:59 PM (cHuNI)

533
Boy, Obama sure does have the courage of his convictions, doesn't he? Except that he has no convictions. Arrests, yes, but no convictions.

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at November 24, 2015 07:00 PM (BK3ZS)

534 Hmmmm, wasn't it Schopenhauer that said "It is a curious fact that on good days we may avoid the vivid terror that is now come to call; but that in bad days, we have only the very cold and imperfect memory of the dead."? I forget.

Posted by: Kat Von Clawswits at November 24, 2015 07:00 PM (adx2S)

535 >>>Say Ace, how do you say "can I watch?" Em francais.

Puis-je le regarder? (Can I watch it?)

i'm not sure if you can drop the "le." I'm not good at knowing which verbs always have to take an object.

Posted by: Not Real Donald Trump at November 24, 2015 07:01 PM (dciA+)

536 How I plan on handling the Obamacare supporters:

"We just signed up with MediShare so we don't pay $15,000 a year for insurance we can't use. Oh...MediShare is religious based. Got a problem with that?"

Posted by: keninnorcal at November 24, 2015 07:02 PM (3OTR8)

537 No you miss my point. That peninsula that Turkey
claims as it's own was seized from Syria in 1939.. Syria does not
recognize that Peninsula as Turkish, but claims it for it's own.. THAT
was my point.


Posted by: Nevergiveup


And,,,,will George Clooney make a stupid and pointless movie about it?

Well, in a manner of speaking, what difference will it make at that point?

Posted by: Bossy Conservative...a rube in America at November 24, 2015 07:03 PM (+1T7c)

538
Y'know, you cannot spell terrorist without 'error', and boy, howdy, did those ISIS chaps make a huge unforced error by testing Obama's backbone.

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at November 24, 2015 07:04 PM (BK3ZS)

539 i'm not sure if you can drop the "le."

Posted by: Not Real Donald Trump at November 24, 2015 07:01 PM (dciA+)


Sweep the "le"!

Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair at November 24, 2015 07:04 PM (zc3Db)

540
Long before Turkey came into being, it was the Byzantine Empire and was known far and wide for its mosaics. Just think of the diverse and rich mosaic the Syrians would contribute to our country.

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at November 24, 2015 07:07 PM (BK3ZS)

541 This is great:

"Progressives do not process language the same way human beings do; they chiefly adduce meaning from tone and body language, like dogs."

But then I remember Trump is doing fairly well with a segment of the base.

Posted by: Purple at November 24, 2015 07:18 PM (k47e3)

542 Happy Thanks Giving!

Posted by: TYCapitalism at November 24, 2015 07:20 PM (cbe8v)

543 My ex and I used to play a diversionary game at holiday dinners(and road trips) we called "Barbara Stanwyck". About the time a rant about republicans or ETA of grandchildren would start one of us would say "Is Barbara Stanwyck still alive?" Immediately discussion would lurch into a discussion on the health of said celebrity. The object is to steer the group conversation as far into tangents as possible devolving into statements like "Gaahddammit Jeanie the horse's name was Trigger!" Interject, Obfuscate, Repeat!

Posted by: wilbeforce at November 24, 2015 07:21 PM (C59A6)

544 Ace, thanks for really getting Potter's style right.

Having English cousins, I have always enjoyed the "Manglo Relations" section of Potter On One-Upmanship.

"The basic gambit, of course is to praise. And the basic , because slightly annoying, thing thing for U.S.-Men to praise in Britain is its charm."

Chose something particularly modern in England that you English host is rather proud of and say "love it because it's quaint".

It is slightly annoying to the English to be told that their English accent is 'perfect' or 'sweet' or 'cute,' since the Englishman rightly believes that he alone has no accent whatever."

Posted by: Bill Lever at November 24, 2015 07:24 PM (l3M2g)

545 "Did you know that Jefferson wanted the turkey to be the national bird? In his defense, the turkey was handsomer than the eagle at the time. Hormones and Ill advised breeding have taken their toll ... a sort of colonial version of Monsanto existed at the time and made a hash of the turkey so to speak. Yes hormones were around at the time."

Posted by: Ben Ghazzara at November 24, 2015 07:28 PM (n02lQ)

546 Genius. I am, from this time hence and forward, or as long as I both shall live, a Thanksgivingman.

Posted by: Caliban at November 24, 2015 07:30 PM (3GFMN)

547 As famous mathematician Raymond Babbit commented to his brother Charles on a road trip "Eighty-three point two percent of all statistics used in arguments are simply made up on the spot."


And Malcolm X himself pointed out the need for honor: "If I ever kill you, you'll be awake, you'll be facing me and you'll be armed."

Posted by: Captain Comic at November 24, 2015 07:36 PM (9jyUF)

548 This is genius, ace.

Posted by: Y-not at November 24, 2015 07:54 PM (t5zYU)

549 Vegetarians at Thanksgiving? Hmmm.

The best pie crust (mine) is made with lard for shortening. The best gravy (obviously) and the best stuffing - whether cooked in the bird, or in a separate pan because demand is so high - is made with minced giblets. Whether to tell the vegetarians that all the pies and all the out-of-turkey stuffing have meat in them before or after they eat some is a matter of taste.

Which reminds me: 40+ years ago my then 40-something dad was in grad school (EE at ODU) and invited over a couple of Indian students for Thanksgiving, since they had nowhere else to go. I was in college then and my classmates said "How appropriate!" until I explained they weren't that kind of Indian. As I recall, their names were Mahesh and Patel. Anyway, my dad hadn't thought to ask, and it turned out one of them was a vegetarian. Poor guy dined on mashed potatoes with butter, not gravy, and cranberry sauce. The other guy ate some of everything, but said if his poor mother ever found out she'd have a heart attack.

Posted by: Dr Weevil at November 24, 2015 08:09 PM (nX1i+)

550 418:
When someone asks, "Are you going to enjoy killing people?!?", the correct answer is "I only enjoy killing complete and total assholes." See how long it take them to figure out that that's a clear but entirely deniable implied threat. Deniable because you can say "What, why do you assume I would think you're an asshole?"

Posted by: Dr Weevil at November 24, 2015 08:20 PM (nX1i+)

551
I believe it was the Greek philosopher Hypotenuse who said, "All angles aren't right, neither are all arguments."

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at November 24, 2015 08:37 PM (BK3ZS)

552 It is slightly annoying to the English to be told that their English accent is 'perfect' or 'sweet' or 'cute,' since the Englishman rightly believes that he alone has no accent whatever."
Posted by: Bill Lever at November 24, 2015 07:24 PM (l3M2g)

I found the English to be very accent conscious among themselves - it's a class marker over there. Cockneys don't sound like Oueen Elizabeth. Liverpudians don't sound like people from Devon. Their accents are more standardized than they were 200 years ago, when Englishmen had completely different accents than the ones living 50 miles away but they're still more varied than American ones. That's remarkable when you consider how much bigger the US is.

Posted by: Donna&&&&V (a white) (whitely brandishing ampersand privilege ) at November 24, 2015 09:13 PM (P8951)

553 There are 17.2 million 'empty' homes
There are 3.5 million homeless

There are 4.9 'empty' homes for every homeless person.

Now, why doesn't Hillary's Wall Street friend help these people?

Posted by: Islamic Rage Boy at November 24, 2015 09:55 PM (e8kgV)

554 'Grownchildren' seems a tad underweight. I'd suggest the term 'overgrown children'. Excellent article with a lot of Thanksgiving fun.

'Thanksgivingman' is the most fresh newism I've heard to date.

Now let's all go out there and make our flaccid kin cry for our entertainment.

Posted by: Corona at November 24, 2015 10:43 PM (ragzU)

555 I dunno, Ace..

I keep trying to read your words but the basic typos and grammatical mistakes just fuckin' take me out of it man!

Perhaps this is intentional (I hope not!)

If it is an attempt to be all "meta" or deconstructive, then Piss on You!

If you can't actually be arsed to spell, or create a coherent sentence anymore then woe betide the Moron Horde!

Fuck this bullshit!

Twitter is for losers!

Posted by: Deety at November 25, 2015 02:37 AM (EmfUD)

556
What, no teosinte? Damn you Monsanto! Damn you to hell!

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars at November 25, 2015 06:10 AM (BK3ZS)

557 In fact, at least 54 controlled studies have shown that made up statistics tend to be more credible than real statistics.

Right! I know!

Posted by: John Fembup at November 25, 2015 08:59 AM (nDkpl)

558 Search conservative opinion right from the Thanksgiving table: http://KeenServe.com/

Posted by: KS at November 25, 2015 11:08 AM (GBwNw)

559 I literally spat on my keyboard. I read this thinking I would disagree and impart wisdom of my own in the comment section, but came out delightfully enlightened. So ... freaking ... insightful!! I've quit attending events where I get bashed by the Shushers, but after reading this, maybe I'll give it a go once again. This is a classic for the annals of history.

Posted by: Rebecca at November 25, 2015 12:42 PM (a9sI8)

560 Lighten up, Deety.

Posted by: Jim at November 25, 2015 02:18 PM (FLLbI)

561 I have a surefire way of shutting up the lefty progs at TG dinner. I just unbutton my suit coat, lean back, and watch the eyes pop out of their heads as they spot my holstered .45. Works every time.

Posted by: jasonj at November 25, 2015 07:23 PM (Uvbw9)

562 As much as I hate you, that was funny.

Posted by: Obama's Bitch at November 26, 2015 01:32 AM (ppgXQ)

563 "By the year 2025 everybody will wear dresses and makeup, except professional basketball players and pimps."

And women.

Posted by: Kathy Kinsley at November 26, 2015 06:56 PM (P1Mfe)

564 My personal favorite? "I forget if it was Dolly Parton or Rush Limbaugh who said, 'Having more fun that a human being should be allowed to have.' It was one of them, anyway."

Posted by: Wendy Thies at November 27, 2015 02:22 AM (eytMs)

565 I follow one golden rule: only ever talk to liberals in a Stand your Ground / Castle Doctrine state, openly carrying and ideally with the safety off.

And then, funnily enough, those liberals are pretty damn quick to agree with science, facts, and reality

Posted by: Andrew Berwick at December 02, 2015 06:05 PM (JBLY/)

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