Blog Game: Sound Like a Badass Without Committing Yourself to a Lie

In the comments to the last thread, I wrote:

>so i should have put this in the last thread but I was just saying on twitter that what Brian Williams did wasn't just dishonest, it was dumb and crude.

Let's admit that most of us wouldn't mind if other people thought we were kind of more badass than we were.

Williams had a lot of options to get people to think he was badass. He did not have to tell these stupid stories where he's obviously *intending* to make you think he's a hero.

He could have done what actual heroes tend to do. They sort of shrug, deflect, and say something badass like "I did my job, that's all a man can do."

The thing is, you wind up imagining they did all this Hero Shit, even if they actually didn't see any combat at all.

Williams insisted on this crude, direct sort of Hero Tale (like the Hero Tales of teenagers talking about, sometimes lying about, getting laid) instead of the sort of cool badass "A little bit of danger comes with the paycheck, you know" answer that 1) would sound badass and 2) would not be a lie.

>

Of the helicopter flight, you could imply you were in danger without saying so by saying...

"The guys around me didn't seem worried, so I figured, least I could do, is try to pretend I wasn't worried either."

There-- that pays tribute to the troops, but also gets in a subtle self-brag disguised as self-deprecation. Win win win.

Anyway, this suggests a game by which we attempt to make ourselves sound badass without committing ourselves to any specifics that we could get called on later.

Like, JohnE. says:

“it was no picnic, that's for damn sure”


Attempting to top him, I offered:

"It's not the report of artillery fire that scares you... it's the silences."

Okay, now I'm strongly implying I've been shelled but look carefully and I don't quite say so.

Anyway, I thought this might make a fun game: Re-write Brian Williams' attempts to sound bad-ass in such a way as would not have gotten him in trouble.

Posted by: Ace at 07:32 PM




Comments

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1 tell you what, you learn things about yourself in iraq that maybe you didn't want to know

Posted by: ace at February 07, 2015 07:36 PM (E+pqw)

2 First...maybe?

Posted by: tbd at February 07, 2015 07:36 PM (FZLV4)

3 Choppers get shot down in Iraq all the time, but never for one moment did it cross my mind our bird wouldn't be able land safely.

Posted by: Baron Von Ottomatic at February 07, 2015 07:36 PM (ufrZ6)

4 Damn...so close! Only to get bumped by Ace himself...!

Posted by: tbd at February 07, 2015 07:37 PM (FZLV4)

5 These guys do this for a living. I was just along for the ride, and what a ride it was.

Posted by: no good deed at February 07, 2015 07:37 PM (w3a0Z)

6 the sea was angry that day my friends...like an old man trying to send soup back at a deli...

Posted by: sound awake at February 07, 2015 07:37 PM (fKOqs)

7
Still banned?

Posted by: uscitizen at February 07, 2015 07:38 PM (DX/aF)

8 I didn't really get cornholed on 'Girls'. That was sounding badass with no commitmentto the act. Basically spewing bullshit like Daddy used to do before.

Posted by: Allison Williams at February 07, 2015 07:38 PM (gwG9s)

9 Brian Williams, "What struck me most in those moments of the helicopter being under fire was the quiet professionalism of the men involved. It made a hairy situation much more manageable."

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at February 07, 2015 07:38 PM (1JDCL)

10 "I was in a luxury hotel, but the Corps of Engineers bivouacked nearby said they saw more than one body in flooded areas."

Posted by: A Suddenly Self-Aware Logic Named Joe at February 07, 2015 07:38 PM (scgac)

11 Guess not ... thanks

Posted by: uscitizen at February 07, 2015 07:38 PM (DX/aF)

12

Bukkets may have a specific name on them, but hand grenades are addressed "To Whom It May Concern".

Posted by: Arbalest at February 07, 2015 07:38 PM (FlRtG)

13 I'm not a badass.

I've got t go.
Thank you, Ace!

Posted by: Carol at February 07, 2015 07:39 PM (sj3Ax)

14 the way i figure it, when the Good Lord calls me home it won't matter if it's a bullet or a heart attack balls deep in some saudi princess whose name I can't even remember

Posted by: ace at February 07, 2015 07:40 PM (E+pqw)

15 There I was knee deep in pizza dough when luckily my private jet washed off the worse of the matter.....


of course what I just said *may* be

I fucked up a batch of dough and used a nozzle ie "jet" I brought to the shop on a hose to wipe the excess dough off....

sure one way sounds a lot more intense but I used "journalistic honesty" anyway.

Posted by: Sven S Blade a.k.a. El Assassin@sven10077 at February 07, 2015 07:40 PM (/4AZU)

16 As terrified as I was of my own mortality, I could only imagine the hell those bird pilots were going through.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at February 07, 2015 07:40 PM (FsuaD)

17 Like many others, I'm just glad the guys in Iraq who launch RPGs at helicopters aren't very good shots.

Posted by: Baron Von Ottomatic at February 07, 2015 07:41 PM (ufrZ6)

18 You don't know real gratitude until you've knelt beside a helicopter in the desert and thanked God that you were alive.

Posted by: Average Jen at February 07, 2015 07:41 PM (2pPU3)

19 "I was never aware of being in danger because I was surrounded by the most alert, polite, and deadly warriors the world has ever seen. I felt calm because of their calm, quiet manner. "

Posted by: Inspector Cussword at February 07, 2015 07:41 PM (scgac)

20 "Only one hour before my own chopper arrived, another was downed by incoming fire on the same route."

Posted by: uscitizen at February 07, 2015 07:41 PM (DX/aF)

21 "The sound of a RPG going off, the chatter of AKs, that's something you never forget"

Posted by: BCochran1981 - Credible Hulk at February 07, 2015 07:41 PM (GEICT)

22 Underwater grottos filled with apes that eat figs.

Posted by: Barry 'Badass' Soetoro at February 07, 2015 07:41 PM (gwG9s)

23 Has Brian stepped down 'temporarily' Ace?

Posted by: tbd at February 07, 2015 07:41 PM (FZLV4)

24 lol ace who the fuck thinks self deprecation makes you sound badass? it makes you sound like a pussy.

Posted by: Johnny at February 07, 2015 07:41 PM (WvGsS)

25 lol ace who the fuck thinks self deprecation makes you sound badass? it makes you sound like a pussy.

Posted by: Johnny at February 07, 2015 07:41 PM (WvGsS)

26 I'm not sure what an RPG is, but I heard one hit the bird an hour in front of us. Could have been my bird. We were >< that close.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at February 07, 2015 07:42 PM (FsuaD)

27 I'm just grateful that there's one more 3-week-old puppy alive in this world.

Posted by: Average Jen at February 07, 2015 07:42 PM (2pPU3)

28 The evil-doers cast me into a pit. As I recovered from the fall, and looked around me, I realized that the pit was a writhing mass of puppies. "Puppies", I thought...., "why did it have to be puppies?"

Posted by: Brian Williams at February 07, 2015 07:42 PM (/GgDU)

29 I may not have seen bodies floating down Bourbon Street, but my mind was filled with nightmarish thoughts. Fever dreams.

Thank God I never actually saw what the FEMA crews did.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at February 07, 2015 07:43 PM (FsuaD)

30 "The choppers were drawing fire, and you never know where the next round will go."

Posted by: Apprentice Doppelganger at February 07, 2015 07:43 PM (TqyFL)

31 "I was grateful just to be back on solid ground in one piece"

Posted by: BCochran1981 - Credible Hulk at February 07, 2015 07:43 PM (GEICT)

32 The first thing I do after a near-death experience is laugh. No really. I believe it is a fairly common reaction to realizing you could have been very dead, but for some reason you are still alive. Done it on at least 5 occasions.

Posted by: Eromero at February 07, 2015 07:44 PM (go5uR)

33 26 Posted by: Jane D'oh at February 07, 2015 07:42 PM (FsuaD)

I fell asleep once on a FOB and woke up amidst too many RPGs to count easily....

let's translate that from the Williamsese...

When I was in the army doing training I fell asleep and had my D+D books scattered about....

luckily I had woken up about 15 minutes from Stand-to...

and repacked the role playing game books...

Posted by: Sven S Blade a.k.a. El Assassin@sven10077 at February 07, 2015 07:44 PM (/4AZU)

34 The only thing worse than being stranded in the desert during a sandstorm is being shot out the sky first.


Hey, this game is kinda fun.

Posted by: Average Jen at February 07, 2015 07:44 PM (2pPU3)

35 Getting on the cruise ship I thought of the Titanic. I admired my courage.

Posted by: Barry 'Badass' Soetoro at February 07, 2015 07:45 PM (gwG9s)

36 There had been a lot of casualties that day. I don`t know how close we had come...but we had damn sure came close enough for me!

Posted by: tbd at February 07, 2015 07:45 PM (FZLV4)

37 A terrorist tried to get in my boat once, but I smacked the water with my paddle! Ok, it was a bunneh. But it was a Republican bunneh.

Posted by: jimmeh Cawtah at February 07, 2015 07:45 PM (hOtJL)

38 Sure, it's dangerous. It's war zone, but I volunteered for my duty there because of the confidence that those men and I would make it through.

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at February 07, 2015 07:45 PM (DmNpO)

39 I felt safer on a Blackhawk than on a Malaysian airliner.

Posted by: SMFH at it all at February 07, 2015 07:46 PM (OsWis)

40 As I came to from the trauma of coming upon a bird that had been shot out of the skies an hour earlier, I felt the warm, wet tongue of a baby goat on my face.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at February 07, 2015 07:46 PM (FsuaD)

41 The elevator could go two ways: up or down.

Posted by: Barry 'Badass' Soetoro at February 07, 2015 07:46 PM (gwG9s)

42 Right now plugging in words and such into this for a Brian Williams story

http://www.plot-generator.org.uk/story/

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at February 07, 2015 07:46 PM (1JDCL)

43 Oh I got it:

You pull the old:

"Well, let me tell you, Dave, the first thing the grunts told me in-country was that it's not the SAMs that'll get ya, it's the local moonshine"

Posted by: ace at February 07, 2015 07:46 PM (E+pqw)

44 I made a conscious decision that if my maker was calling the only possible way to accept the charges was with grace and quiet dignity.

Posted by: Baron Von Ottomatic at February 07, 2015 07:47 PM (ufrZ6)

45 That puppy I saved. Well, maybe it was an old, wiry, blind dog.

Still.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at February 07, 2015 07:47 PM (FsuaD)

46 I like #20. It says "We were lucky and didn't see trouble, but the area was dangerous, so I am reasonably brave just by going there."

Posted by: zerk at February 07, 2015 07:47 PM (bFmt1)

47 "Johnny" is writing. Wow "Johnny", how was the dance at the high school? I bet freshman life is a frightening new thing, like growing hair on your chest. Don't worry, it'll fill in, it has to start with 1 or 2 hairs at a time. Just don't pull one out, you'll be bald on half your chest.

Soon you'll start to feel ... funny... around girls. It's normal.

Until then, stop posting. Give it a few more years like a half dozen. You should be nearly adult by then.

Posted by: Inspector Cussword at February 07, 2015 07:47 PM (scgac)

48 "Next thing I know, I'm staring down the empty tube of the RPG that had just been fired at us" is what I would have said had that actually happened to me.

Posted by: Stacy at February 07, 2015 07:47 PM (iqvCW)

49 Whether the barrage of rocket fire is five miles away, or right at your backdoor, it makes you think about your comfortable life back home, and you steel yourself to the challenge.

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at February 07, 2015 07:48 PM (DmNpO)

50 Just happened to run across an article that says Rosie O'Donuts got divorced.

Shocker.

Posted by: Zap Rowsdower at February 07, 2015 07:48 PM (MMC8r)

51 I was so scared that I wee wee'd my pants a little.

sort o llke foreign policy was before mr mc barkypants took over and then the whorld has been better ever since.

Posted by: Mephitis at February 07, 2015 07:48 PM (I+tD3)

52 Brian, Shep and Geraldo walk into a Superdome.

Posted by: Bertram Cabot Jr. at February 07, 2015 07:48 PM (W5DcG)

53 38 Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at February 07, 2015 07:45 PM (DmNpO)

Look it may seem bad taking fire but we all have a job to do....

translated from the Williamsese....


I work at a Pizza joint, we're opening soon and the pilot light was out....I had to use a long match to light the oven...it's *my job*....


Posted by: Sven S Blade a.k.a. El Assassin@sven10077 at February 07, 2015 07:48 PM (/4AZU)

54 I watched the Marines, squealing like girls, dodging the camel spiders. I had to laugh. I kept one in my tent as a pet.

Eventually, the Marines came to admire me, and trust that the spiders weren't really dangerous.

I love those guys. They showed real backbone.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at February 07, 2015 07:48 PM (FsuaD)

55 We were close to the action. Not pee yourself close, but close enough.

Posted by: Dandolo at February 07, 2015 07:48 PM (wyI5D)

56 i might have poo poo'd a little too

Posted by: Mephitis at February 07, 2015 07:49 PM (I+tD3)

57 You know, I've never had a mortar round land near me. But I can imagine what it feels like.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at February 07, 2015 07:49 PM (FsuaD)

58 First - my humble entry, then I'll read the comments

I didn't want to sound like the only pussy in the chopper, so I joked, 'Does this paper asshole make my diaper look too tight?"

Posted by: shit water hands at February 07, 2015 07:50 PM (emnRW)

59 "We were out front...helicopters were taking fire...we ended up having to set down in the middle of the desert. *shakes head* Crazy stuff."

Posted by: BCochran1981 - Credible Hulk at February 07, 2015 07:50 PM (GEICT)

60 The simoon roars across the shifting sands of Araby, and not a trace is left of the danger endured, nor the courage made manifest, in the minutes before our Chinook found perilous purchase. Like memory itself, fragile, pliant, hard-to-pin-down (especially when under oath), the deeds done that day in the killing fields of Iraq are like a shimmering mirage. They - we - glitter....and are gone.

Brian Williams, The Seven Pillars of Thirty Rock, Chapter XXVII "From Basra to Bakram and Back," p. 769.

Posted by: A. Pendragon at February 07, 2015 07:51 PM (wJliR)

61 "If you're in an armed chopper, and getting fired at from the ground, well the first thing ya'd do is fire back, right? Well, these guys flying this chopper were so stone cold brave they didn't see the need. So I peed myself."

Posted by: starboardhelm at February 07, 2015 07:51 PM (hOtJL)

62 I actually flunked out of the SEALS when I tried out for them in boot camp.
I did hang out with them in "A" school, though.

True story.

Posted by: jwb7605 at February 07, 2015 07:51 PM (ZALPg)

63 As I knotted my Holland & Holland tie, I noticed the tag. "British Woven Silk", it said, but in finer stitched printing it also said "filler of Egyptian cotton". I was staggered..., but struggled manfully, and managed to retain consciousness long enough to strip the evil cloth from my collar.

Posted by: Brian Williams at February 07, 2015 07:51 PM (/GgDU)

64 Well, that spider was huge but once I threw BC at it, it was fine.

Posted by: alexthechick - Come to us SMOD at February 07, 2015 07:51 PM (IrByp)

65 I knew that whatever happened, the guys I was with are the best in the business and I would be in no danger if our bird landed safely.

Posted by: Baron Von Ottomatic at February 07, 2015 07:51 PM (ufrZ6)

66 64,

Hah!

Posted by: SMFH at it all at February 07, 2015 07:52 PM (OsWis)

67 Truthfully I was ready to shit myself, but then I remembered that shit smells and it would probably bother the other guys. I waited until we were on the ground, kissed it because I was thankful to be an American, then I dug a hole in the sand and filled it with a pile of brown, right on top of a scorpion.

Posted by: The Mega Independent at February 07, 2015 07:52 PM (QCo5R)

68 And this is what it spits back. Well certainly better than Fifty Shades of Gay but not by much.
- - - - - - - - - - -

Brian Williams had always hated arid Mosul with its blue, better barren. It was a place where he felt trepidation.

He was a weasel, slippery, wine drinker with swarthy hands and bearded hair. His friends saw him as a joyous, jolly juggler. Once, he had even rescued an ancient blind person from a burning building. That's the sort of man he was.

Brian walked over to the window and reflected on his war-torn surroundings. The blistering teased like attack rats.

Then he saw something in the distance, or rather someone. It was the figure of Muhammed Alawite. Muhammed was an ingratiating monster with tanned hands and slovelny hair.

Brian gulped. He was not prepared for Muhammed.

As Brian stepped outside and Muhammed came closer, he could see the villainous glint in his eye.

"I am here because I want justice," Muhammed bellowed, in a smarmy tone. He slammed his fist against Brian's chest, with the force of 9468 goats. "I frigging hate you, Brian Williams."

Brian looked back, even more fearful and still fingering the beige map. "Muhammed, but I like you," he replied.

They looked at each other with nerves feelings, like two doubtful, deep dogs explosion at a very annoying meeting, which had piano music playing in the background and two false uncles screaming to the beat.

Brian studied Muhammed's tanned hands and slovelny hair. Eventually, he took a deep breath. "I'm sorry, but I can't give you justice," he explained, in pitying tones.

Muhammed looked disquiet, his body raw like a huge, high hat.

Brian could actually hear Muhammed's body shatter into 934 pieces. Then the ingratiating monster hurried away into the distance.

Not even a glass of wine would calm Brian's nerves tonight.
THE END

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at February 07, 2015 07:52 PM (1JDCL)

69 So there we were, next thing you know, one thing led to another and ... yada, yada, yada ... that's the end of that.

Posted by: Costanza Defense at February 07, 2015 07:52 PM (ZPrif)

70 It's not hard to see when you get down to it, how the Somalis were able to use the RPG to shoot down those blackhawks...

the smoke from the exhaust is what mesmerizes you...

luckily the pilot flew true.

Posted by: Sven S Blade a.k.a. El Assassin@sven10077 at February 07, 2015 07:52 PM (/4AZU)

71 ike they say in Iraq, women come at you straight-on like a cobra, but danger comes at you like a sidewinder

Posted by: ace at February 07, 2015 07:52 PM (E+pqw)

72 As I looked around, I saw that none of these soldiers were screaming hysterically for their mommies, so I stopped.

Posted by: Zap Rowsdower at February 07, 2015 07:53 PM (MMC8r)

73 When Nelson Mandela opened the door and saw me, we both knew instantly his presidency was to be unprecedented in the annals of modern history..

Posted by: Fritz at February 07, 2015 07:53 PM (dVmLD)

74 71 Posted by: ace at February 07, 2015 07:52 PM (E+pqw)


*That* was almost worthy of one of Mike Hammer and my late-night attempts at breaking out the Mickey Spillane....

Classic....


Posted by: Sven S Blade a.k.a. El Assassin@sven10077 at February 07, 2015 07:54 PM (/4AZU)

75 You can ask anyone who has taken a bullet while covering a war zone, it sometimes comes with the job.

Posted by: Stateless Infidel at February 07, 2015 07:55 PM (AC0lD)

76 And I said a quiet prayer to myself, Thank God there's 100 % assholes like Johnny to take people's minds off a 89% assholes like me.

Posted by: shit water hands at February 07, 2015 07:55 PM (emnRW)

77 I've never liked gunplay. Especially when they're playing with me.

Posted by: Brian Williams speaking truth to power at February 07, 2015 07:55 PM (abdMy)

78 It's tough when in the middle of an inferno you have to grab that feline from the jaws of pyric fury and thrust it back into the arms of the maiden calling out in terror....

translation....

There was a BBQ, the little girl's cat was stuck in the tree....

luckily I had a 55' ladder when a 12' one would have done the job....

//B Williams

Posted by: Sven S Blade a.k.a. El Assassin@sven10077 at February 07, 2015 07:56 PM (/4AZU)

79 One night, as we were sitting in camp, to help steel the guys' resolve, I quoted Gen. Matthis:

Be courteous. Be professional. But be prepared to kill everyone you meet.

The guys laughed and were impressed I knew that quote.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at February 07, 2015 07:56 PM (FsuaD)

80 a simple "I was on a helicopter in Iraq and... sorry, I thought I was ready, but I can't talk about it" gets everyone's mind racing.

Posted by: Stacy at February 07, 2015 07:56 PM (iqvCW)

81 You can ask anyone who has had their helicopter hit by an RPG, you feel fear.

Posted by: Stateless Infidel at February 07, 2015 07:56 PM (AC0lD)

82 I glanced around the chopper and no one was ready to hit the silk, so I just latched on the the seat and braced myself for a wild ride.

Posted by: Baron Von Ottomatic at February 07, 2015 07:56 PM (ufrZ6)

83 64 Well, that spider was huge but once I threw BC at it, it was fine.

Posted by: alexthechick - Come to us SMOD at February 07, 2015 07:51 PM (IrByp)



No one believes you did anything other than run screaming upon sight of the spider.

Posted by: BCochran1981 - Credible Hulk at February 07, 2015 07:57 PM (GEICT)

84 "I felt something warm, squishy and furry on the floor of a closet," Williams said. "It was a puppy. I strangled the little bastard; then I crawled the hell out of there."

Posted by: Intrepid Conqueror of Molehills at February 07, 2015 07:57 PM (TqyFL)

85 Ace > badass than Brian Williams (even the fictionalized version)

Posted by: Peaches at February 07, 2015 07:57 PM (6uib1)

86 I imagine the thought of bullets tearing through the panels and fuel tank would be terrifying to an unseasoned professional.

Posted by: Jonathan Ellis at February 07, 2015 07:57 PM (9wPDi)

87 Yeah, a guy who sits on a chair and reads from the teleprompter is a real badass.

Posted by: Titanium at February 07, 2015 07:57 PM (u9UgT)

88 Brian 'Sam Spade' Williams tipped back his fedora and vaped, the steam vanished quicker in the arid air than a cobra fleeing a mongoose. He thought of where he was, Baghdad; a joyless land filled with nothing but heat and fanatics. Not a drop of booze to be had and the less said of the SCUDs in burqas the better he thought while trying to repress a shudder.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at February 07, 2015 07:58 PM (1JDCL)

89 I'm not like some of the other guys. I don't carve notches in my gun or anything. Every time I kill a man I'm sick for a week.

Posted by: Brian Williams speaking truth to power at February 07, 2015 07:58 PM (7t1Qo)

90 i'll tell you what, dave, a few weeks in-country and you learn something about fear: It is not a weakness, it is a radar.

Posted by: ace at February 07, 2015 07:58 PM (E+pqw)

91 Too bad I wasn't military. That rock that richocheted into my ass would have earned me a purple heart.

Actually, that was my disposable razor I sat on. Whatever.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at February 07, 2015 07:58 PM (FsuaD)

92 The public is too stupid to pick up on that! You have to lie and you have to lie big!

Posted by: John Edwards at February 07, 2015 07:58 PM (53CCM)

93 Yeah, three tours in Iraq. I liked the food.

Posted by: Brian Williams at February 07, 2015 07:59 PM (MQEz6)

94 Danger hits on Rustamiyah like a headache from a Slo-Gin Fizzy....

"steady SGM, steady"

//B Williams

of course the CSM was the one with the gin...

Posted by: Sven S Blade a.k.a. El Assassin@sven10077 at February 07, 2015 07:59 PM (/4AZU)

95 *rubs bald head*

...the horror...the horror...

Posted by: Bigby's Knuckle Sandwich at February 07, 2015 07:59 PM (Cq0oW)

96 When you're in the shit, a brotherhood forms. My brother was my iPad.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at February 07, 2015 07:59 PM (FsuaD)

97 "Well, the details are probably classified, but suffice to say we made it safely."

Posted by: Sayyid at February 07, 2015 07:59 PM (brAG3)

98 Hand grenades are actually addressed to current occupant.

Posted by: Agitator at February 07, 2015 08:00 PM (TljiR)

99 "You might think that I dodge RPG's, rescue puppies, and spot floating corpses, but I'm sure I couldn't possibly comment."

Posted by: Brian Williams at February 07, 2015 08:00 PM (sVz2O)

100 I didn't find them, they found me. And boy was I in trouble.

Posted by: CJ at February 07, 2015 08:00 PM (vflQ1)

101 During that two night sandstorm, I saw men pretending to be unfazed. It gave me courage. Courage I still have to this day.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at February 07, 2015 08:00 PM (FsuaD)

102 It's not the corpses floating by your hotel window that get to you....it's the spaces between the corpses...that's what gets you

Posted by: Brian Williams at February 07, 2015 08:00 PM (7RXcs)

103 ¨When I heard about the other helicopter taking fire, including a round from and RPG, I thought ¨shit, I could have been on that sortie.

Posted by: Minuteman at February 07, 2015 08:01 PM (nUGJ1)

104 Can we go back to watching my daughter get her butt eaten?
Brian Williams

Posted by: Titanium at February 07, 2015 08:01 PM (u9UgT)

105 You don't get much sleep. Then again, you don't want any. There's nothing worse to waking up and finding another friend has died.

Posted by: Warden at February 07, 2015 08:01 PM (bmp0d)

106 It all happens so fast. In the moment, you know.
I guess...I mean, if I had the time to think about it -

yeah, I would have been scared.

Posted by: Garrett at February 07, 2015 08:02 PM (7o6GQ)

107 When you've sat in a bar on Bourbon Street, totally out of ice, with all the bodies floating past, you know what giving your best to your network means.

Well, there may not have been bodies, but there was diptheria. Or it may have been a hangover.

Hard to tell.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at February 07, 2015 08:02 PM (FsuaD)

108 I suddenly realized our deadliest foe wouldn't be enemy fire or rockets, but gravity.

Posted by: Baron Von Ottomatic at February 07, 2015 08:03 PM (ufrZ6)

109 It's not the caress of a man while under attack that gets to you. It's the space between the caresses.

Posted by: The Mega Independent at February 07, 2015 08:04 PM (QCo5R)

110 Once you realize the odds are you aren't going to make it, a kind of peace comes over you. My greatest fear wasn't that I would die, it's that I wouldn't die well.

Posted by: JackStraw at February 07, 2015 08:04 PM (g1DWB)

111 So I told Geraldo, "Knock it off! Pull your shit together! We'll take this bridge and all the world will see the evil Bush has done." Then I slapped him.

Strangely, he seemed to like it.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at February 07, 2015 08:04 PM (FsuaD)

112 I had heard grunts in country speak of "sand snakes," but what their sting could mean, and the terror that could inspire, was never apparent to me until I happened to be in a convoy of choppers over the Iraqi desert. Those moments when the radio blared and the warnings were sounded...I suddenly understood that the horror of war is that it was both intensely personal and utterly without regard at one and the same time. The Katyushkas that flew, their contrails replicating their progress across the azure vault, had, like some Goya-esque perversion of Schrodinger's theorem, both my name on them and a vague "to whom it may be concerned," and each was equally deadly. A matter of speed, time, and distance, and a wave-form collapses into a reality that leaves one alive, or dead. But it is better not to dwell on such things, nor to speak of them.

Brian Williams, Generation Brill, Vol. II, Chapter 89, p. 231.

Posted by: A. Pendragon at February 07, 2015 08:04 PM (wJliR)

113 It makes you ponder both you luck and fate. When you hear of a guy getting torn apart by a landmine, you wonder what it was that saved you and not him. (Neglecting to mention you were safe in a hotel room.)

Posted by: Warden at February 07, 2015 08:04 PM (bmp0d)

114 I've been inside the back of a Chinook and seen an RPG up real close.

Posted by: Mr. Feverhead at February 07, 2015 08:05 PM (j1Wvr)

115 D'oh, you are en fuego today!!! Really outstanding!

Posted by: Peaches at February 07, 2015 08:05 PM (6uib1)

116 Sometimes it's not the things you hear, but the things you think you hear, that you're not sure about. That's when you get really tense.

Posted by: Brother Cavil, by the Pale Moon light at February 07, 2015 08:05 PM (m9V0o)

117 I truly wish I were more brave. But I survived and I guess sometimes that's good enough.

Posted by: Warden at February 07, 2015 08:05 PM (bmp0d)

118 Was I scared?

Let me tell you something I learned in Iraq, Dave.

You can't kill a ghost. You can't kill a ghost.

Posted by: ace at February 07, 2015 08:06 PM (E+pqw)

119 The closest I've ever come to telling anything like a war story was to my daughter's class at school because I wanted to be a cool dad, and all I did there was talk about how much fun it can be to shoot the mk 19. I don't think I've ever talked about it in any detail, and I can't think of any reason why I'd ever want to. It certainly wouldn't put me in the frame of mind to pick up chicks.

Posted by: JohnJ at February 07, 2015 08:06 PM (TF/YA)

120 What was covering the Iraq war like for me? Well, you know how they say the guys who've seen REAL action don't want to talk about it? I can personally tell you it's true. Next question.

Posted by: My Sisters' Brother at February 07, 2015 08:06 PM (sVz2O)

121 I saw the muzzle flash and new the Flak was coming right for me. I don't know how long it took for the shell to reach our altitude and explode. I don't think they put that kind of time into watches.

Posted by: Brian Williams speaking truth to power at February 07, 2015 08:06 PM (/PKS2)

122 When I met Nelson Mandela, his first words to me were, "I sense greatness in you. Don't abuse it."

So I'm taking a week's absence to ponder those words. And come back to you bigger and greater.

Peace. And courage.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at February 07, 2015 08:06 PM (FsuaD)

123 The SEAL next to me yelled in my ear, over the scream of the Lycoming B 53's, I could just make out his question. ' Who cuts Rachel Maddow's hair?'

Posted by: shit water hands at February 07, 2015 08:06 PM (emnRW)

124 I was fine, really. Then I saw the looks on the faces of the guys in that chopper. That's when I got worried.

Posted by: BCochran1981 - Credible Hulk at February 07, 2015 08:07 PM (GEICT)

125 My dad was an ambulance driver when Whitman went crazy. His account of the story is,"My partner and I hid between the ambulance and a wall until the shooting stopped. Some guy with a hunting rifle was using the roof of the ambulance as platform to shoot at Whitman. He asked him what he was shooting at and the guy said he was aiming through the rain spouts." Then dad and partner went into the tower and carried out the family Whitman had shotgunned on his way up the stairs.

It's just a story about what happened to him on that day, no embellishments or heroic acts on his part. So why is it so hard for Brian Williams to simply say."30 minutes before we arrived a Chinook was shot down by an rpg."?

Posted by: CozMark at February 07, 2015 08:07 PM (P0AbR)

126 Yeah, Stevie Nicks put cocaine up her pooter and her squeakhole and until one of you assholes goes through it the way....seen the stuff Stevie and I have seen...well, shut your pie hole

Posted by: Brian Williams at February 07, 2015 08:08 PM (7RXcs)

127 Did I see bodies in the street? Well at least I didn't see anybody eating them. Let's leave it at that.

Posted by: wooga at February 07, 2015 08:08 PM (HoRFj)

128 And believe me, dysentery wasn't the worst thing I saw float by my window. In my own damn country, too.

Posted by: Ohiogal at February 07, 2015 08:08 PM (XJ3nY)

129 'When you look over your shoulder and all you see is the specter of death astride his dark horse, and he's gaining on you. you can't help but think of your family and be relieved that the other three horsemen are nowhere in sight.'

Posted by: Garrett at February 07, 2015 08:09 PM (7o6GQ)

130 As I told Chris Kyle, as he left on his first mission, "You're a better man than I."

He looked me in the eye, then wordlessly, hugged me. And boarded whatever kind of plane he was flying out that day.

I'm still haunted.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at February 07, 2015 08:09 PM (FsuaD)

131 No, I can't say exactly where we were or what we were doing. It's classified Top Secret.

The only reward I need is knowing that good people like you will never have to deal with that horror.

Posted by: JackStraw at February 07, 2015 08:09 PM (g1DWB)

132 You guys are awesome. #49 is what I would've written.

I was in the Navy during Desert Shield and then Desert Storm. When the fight broke out, I was stationed in Orlando, FL at nuke school. I saw no shit; my comrades saw no shit. But damn we wanted to be in the fight, not necessarily to be shot at, in the shit (obviously) but to be a part, to participate in 'the action'. We were gung-ho I guess. Anyway, that war only lasted a couple of weeks, so what are you going to do?

Posted by: Jamieq at February 07, 2015 08:09 PM (SMkdw)

133 Fear screams, Dave, but death only whispers.

Posted by: ace at February 07, 2015 08:09 PM (E+pqw)

134 And in space no one can hear your screams Dave.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at February 07, 2015 08:10 PM (1JDCL)

135 A calm came over me when I realized that those bastards firing the RPG weren't in my nightmare. I was in theirs.

Posted by: The Mega Independent at February 07, 2015 08:10 PM (QCo5R)

136 "I felt something warm, squishy and furry on the floor of a closet..."
"...on my 5th trip. By the 12th time I was in there, it was getting kind of cold, sticky and wet. Puppies, apparently, are weak and pathetic little creatures and can't endure a lot of being crawled on."

Posted by: Clutch Cargo at February 07, 2015 08:10 PM (sH832)

137 When you stop caring... about anything, really, except smoking your next cigarette, you know you've been there too long.

Posted by: Warden at February 07, 2015 08:10 PM (bmp0d)

138 Have I *personally* been in combat?

Well, when you've looked death in the eyes ... let's just say there are some thing better left unsaid.

Posted by: Costanza Defense at February 07, 2015 08:10 PM (ZPrif)

139 I was surrounded by the toughest, smartest, most bad-ass men and women on the planet. Didn't help, I was still scared.
I think if something had happened I would have shit myself.

Posted by: Brian Williams at February 07, 2015 08:11 PM (MQEz6)

140 I grabbed a warm, soft puppy. Hard to tell with my heavy firefighter's gloves on.

Or, it could have been my own soggy, sagging balls.

Whatever.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at February 07, 2015 08:11 PM (FsuaD)

141 Yes, it is true that some of the arabs are hung like camels, but sometimes you just have to do what you have to do to get the lead.

Posted by: Williams at February 07, 2015 08:12 PM (NaeCR)

142 I had brave men, some of the strongest and most experienced special operators in the world, weeping like children in my arms at the things we saw.

I'll say no more.

Posted by: JackStraw at February 07, 2015 08:12 PM (g1DWB)

143 When you're in the shit, a brotherhood forms. My brother was my iPad.

Those mountain fires in '12 were a disaster. And not only that, they were terrifying. Hot. Choking. The worst was how the smoke made it you couldn't even see what was coming at you. But you know, you get to work and you get the job done.

Posted by: boulder terlit hobo at February 07, 2015 08:12 PM (AVEe1)

144
i might have poo poo'd a little too
........................
Son of a............!!!

Posted by: Ebon Moss-Bachrach at February 07, 2015 08:12 PM (wAQA5)

145 "I'm on TV almost every night and I say anything I goddamn well please, I don't give a fuck about the rules of journalism or truth or ethics or any of that pansy shit."


How's that for true and badass. Unfortunately its just true.

Posted by: Dirks Strewn at February 07, 2015 08:13 PM (TIgJq)

146 It wasn't until I arrived at the Green Zone that I realized, "I'm an overpaid flashcard reader with the hands of a woman. And I soiled my dungarees."

Posted by: Fritz at February 07, 2015 08:13 PM (dVmLD)

147 As long as I could hear the bullets flying all around me, I knew I would be fine. Because you never hear the one that gets you.

Posted by: Garrett at February 07, 2015 08:14 PM (7o6GQ)

148 People say your life flashes before your eyes when you're about to die. That's bullshit, Dave. What flashes before your eyes is the last hot meal you ate.

And for me, it was pussy.

Posted by: ace at February 07, 2015 08:14 PM (E+pqw)

149 There are a million ways for a man to die and if it came down to that, well, dying alongside US Marines would be an honor.

Posted by: Baron Von Ottomatic at February 07, 2015 08:14 PM (ufrZ6)

150 I am not a laughingstock. I am a Bad-Ass!

Posted by: Bri-Bri Williams at February 07, 2015 08:14 PM (wAQA5)

151 148,

LOL!

Posted by: SMFH at it all at February 07, 2015 08:15 PM (OsWis)

152 "Dan Rather asked me if I ever killed a man. I told him 'That's a stupid question, Dan.'"

Posted by: Iblis at February 07, 2015 08:15 PM (IQUkZ)

153 Yeah, my bird got hit, and at that moment I was pretty sure that it was game over. And yeah, I still see that red bastard coming at me sometimes when I close my eyes. There are two things a man just doesn't talk about: war and Joust.

Posted by: The Mega Independent at February 07, 2015 08:15 PM (QCo5R)

154 The troops loved it when I handed out nude pictures of my crazy daughter, Allison.

She did her part for the war. I couldn't be more proud.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at February 07, 2015 08:15 PM (FsuaD)

155 152 "Dan Rather asked me if I ever killed a man. I told him 'That's a stupid question, Dan.'"
Posted by: Iblis at February 07, 2015 08:15 PM (IQUkZ)

Was supposed to be by Brian Williams

Posted by: Iblis at February 07, 2015 08:16 PM (IQUkZ)

156 *goes and gibbers*

Brianna Jenner was involved in an auto accident tonight in commifornia. One person is dead in the three car crash that occurred near Malibu.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at February 07, 2015 08:16 PM (1JDCL)

157 I wasn't afraid.

I had eaten my Wheaties.

Posted by: Garrett at February 07, 2015 08:16 PM (7o6GQ)

158 I worked hard for this parking space. You think I'm going to just gve it up to punk like you? I crap bigger than you. My taxes are bigger than your salary. Take a friggin hike, asshole.

Posted by: Brian Williams at February 07, 2015 08:16 PM (MQEz6)

159 They say it's not the teeth that get you, but the claws...

Posted by: Farmer Bob at February 07, 2015 08:16 PM (sqpGi)

160 Why don't any of these stories rhyme?

What's with you guys?

Posted by: Joe Biden, Sheriff of the West Wing at February 07, 2015 08:16 PM (+1T7c)

161 I don't care how brash and how capable you are. You wake up and go to sleep with one word. Humility.

Posted by: ColdBeer1 (Slap) (T) at February 07, 2015 08:16 PM (16bOT)

162 all I know, Dave, is to live by the soldier's creed: Keep your instincts clean and your dick dirty.

Posted by: ace at February 07, 2015 08:16 PM (E+pqw)

163 You know what's really Bad-Ass? A neatly pressed and spotlessly clean khaki shirt.

Posted by: Bri-Bri Williams at February 07, 2015 08:16 PM (wAQA5)

164 hey Slap : )

Posted by: SMFH at it all at February 07, 2015 08:17 PM (OsWis)

165 I´m sitting in the chopper listening to the chatter about the other bird taking fire and the only thought that went through my mind was what is the whitestuff in chicken shit.

Posted by: Brian Williams at February 07, 2015 08:17 PM (nUGJ1)

166 The unprotected ear can't hear anything over the Whump-Whump pulse of the twin rotors on a Chinook. However, listening on the headset to the calm and professional cross-talk of the pilots and crew under fire made it possible for me to steady my rising suspicion that I might die out in the middle of this unforgiving desert.

Posted by: Mr. Feverhead at February 07, 2015 08:17 PM (j1Wvr)

167 So if I get a little skittish when I see Jenner barreling toward me at a cross walk, I guess I'm trans phobic

I'm afraid the driver doesn't know how to shift gears

Posted by: boulder terlit hobo at February 07, 2015 08:17 PM (AVEe1)

168 You don't necessarily have to write or say anything. You can salt the area with evidence and let people infer -- leave a penile reduction surgery brochure on you desk, things like that.

Posted by: Edgar Allan Schmoe at February 07, 2015 08:18 PM (OLFrt)

169 Howdy, SMFH!

Posted by: ColdBeer1 (Slap) (T) at February 07, 2015 08:18 PM (16bOT)

170
a man ain't really alive until he scissor-kicks Death right in the c*nt

Posted by: ace at February 07, 2015 08:18 PM (E+pqw)

171 In truth, I was afraid. Very afraid. That I wouldn't get a ride out of the hot zone.

The guys loved me though. I had shared MRE's with them. Which gave me dysentery. But it was worth every painful, agonizing minute.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at February 07, 2015 08:18 PM (FsuaD)

172 I wasn't afraid.

I had eaten my Wheaties.
Posted by: Garrette

Hey, my picture was ON Wheaties, and look how messed up I am.

I blame the Wheaties.

Posted by: Bruce Jenner, huh? at February 07, 2015 08:18 PM (+1T7c)

173
"Dan Rather asked me if I ever killed a man.

I told him "Dan, That's like asking me if your wife likes anal."

Posted by: Williams at February 07, 2015 08:18 PM (NaeCR)

174 170


a man ain't really alive until he scissor-kicks Death right in the c*nt

Posted by: ace at February 07, 2015 08:18 PM (E+pqw)



*literally suffering from wine up the nostrils*


*it's my own personal 9/11 here*

Posted by: Jane D'oh at February 07, 2015 08:19 PM (FsuaD)

175 I don't really like to discuss it but let's just say it involved a flaming chinook and leave it at that.

Posted by: The Mega Independent at February 07, 2015 08:19 PM (QCo5R)

176 "That was the trip where I learned an odd little tidbit of Arab culture. That is, having a shit stain running down the back of our trousers is considered manly. I'll tell you, Dave, those Arabs all considered me very manly that day."

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at February 07, 2015 08:19 PM (ZbCKc)

177 You guys are too fucking funny. Wait until you misremember. Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me. nanner nanner

Posted by: Brian Williams at February 07, 2015 08:20 PM (WNERA)

178 I have no idea where it came from, maybe it came from my testicles...maybe it was my vas deferens, or my seminal vesicle..or some other bit you only learn about in 7th-grade health...all I'm saying is, it hits you and you say

"I got this"

Posted by: Brian Williams at February 07, 2015 08:20 PM (7RXcs)

179 149, that was brilliant.

Posted by: MoKim at February 07, 2015 08:20 PM (kprEX)

180 I've witnessed Afghan dancing boys. Who is one to judge?

Posted by: Jane D'oh at February 07, 2015 08:20 PM (FsuaD)

181
The troops loved it when I handed out nude pictures of my crazy daughter, Allison.

She did her part for the war. I couldn't be more proud.
........................
Did any of them ask whose face that was planted between her buttcheeks?

Posted by: Ebon Moss-Bachrach at February 07, 2015 08:21 PM (wAQA5)

182 Look, for those who have been there when rounds are snapping right over your head, no words are necessary. For those who haven't, no words will suffice.

And that's all I'm gonna say about it....

*gazes manfully into the distance*

Posted by: DC in River City at February 07, 2015 08:21 PM (e+1S5)

183 Goats. They're not just what's for dinner.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at February 07, 2015 08:21 PM (FsuaD)

184 I hate when people call me a hero. The real heroes were the men, women and LGBTs who carried the fight to the enemy. Me, I was only armed with a mic and a camera and my sense of duty to show you the truth.

And really, you probably face more dander during rush hour in Manhattan.

Posted by: JackStraw at February 07, 2015 08:21 PM (g1DWB)

185 One of the greatest warm-glow moments of my life was when an Army buddy of mine, now a retired Sergeant Major, told my son, then recently graduated from Infantry AIT at Benning, about a brave thing I did in combat once. I never told my son that story because it would sound like bragging.

This Brian Williams thing pisses me off down to the bone.

Posted by: troyriser at February 07, 2015 08:21 PM (gJU39)

186 In that bird, under enemy fire and surrounded by Marines, Dave. I won't lie. I was shitting my pants.

But then I remembered something about war.
Something my father taught me.
The Scottish fight in skirts.

Posted by: Garrett at February 07, 2015 08:21 PM (7o6GQ)

187 Active radio chatter of incoming RPG and ground fire at the Chinook convoy ahead of us, it was frantic and deafening, and yet the captain of our bird never flinched. Obviously we were expecting incoming at any moment, we were prepared for it, we all knew it without having to say a word.

Posted by: Jamieq at February 07, 2015 08:21 PM (SMkdw)

188 When I arrived in station they told me to always take a piss after banging the Iraqi whores because washes out syphilis. There was no way I was going to die in some godforsaken desert with the clap.

Posted by: Baron Von Ottomatic at February 07, 2015 08:21 PM (ufrZ6)

189 You know Dave, yeah, I've been to a lot of war zones. (feign weak smile) And I've seen fire and I've seen rain. (force a weak laugh)


And some nights as I laid there, I just kept hearing those words go through my mind - "Desperado, why don't you come to your senses, you've been off riding fences for so long now..." (then go silent)

Posted by: Stateless Infidel at February 07, 2015 08:22 PM (AC0lD)

190 "It was Iraq. There were RPGs going off, AKs being fired, we were out front, we had to set down in the desert. It was...just....."

Posted by: BCochran1981 - Credible Hulk at February 07, 2015 08:22 PM (GEICT)

191 Look, I don't know if this war is right or wrong, good or bad, not my paygrade. All I know is my men want to do their jobs and get through this in one piece. They got families and don't want to go home in a box. Me, I got nobody, nobody but the Corps. Why do I do this shit? Why not? Some dumb bastard has to. Might as well be me.

Posted by: Brian Williams at February 07, 2015 08:22 PM (MQEz6)

192 In all honesty, cocktail parties in Manhattan and the Hamptons can be waaaay more dangerous than serving in country.

You have no idea....

Posted by: Jane D'oh at February 07, 2015 08:23 PM (FsuaD)

193 185,

Me too.

Posted by: SMFH at it all at February 07, 2015 08:23 PM (OsWis)

194 Nexus 6 Brian, "There I was, able to see the C-Beams glitter off the Tannhauser Gate as the attack ships roared in."

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at February 07, 2015 08:23 PM (1JDCL)

195 To me, death is a four letter word. And my momma told me that cursin' is a sin.

Posted by: The Mega Independent at February 07, 2015 08:24 PM (QCo5R)

196 Up on Brokeback Mountain Reggie and I would stem the rose. I don't know what that means but I do know we had lots of sex.

Posted by: Baryy Choomgang at February 07, 2015 08:24 PM (gwG9s)

197 "I love the news business, but let me tell you, there were moments when I would have gladly given up that big camera for a loaded M1911."

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at February 07, 2015 08:24 PM (ZbCKc)

198 When you ask a Marine to smell your finger he's expecting vagina, not cordite.

Posted by: Baron Von Ottomatic at February 07, 2015 08:25 PM (ufrZ6)

199 Afraid? *shrug* Didn't have time to be afraid. I mean, there's RPGs and AKs and you're there to do a job. You do it. The fear kicks in later, when you have time to think.

Posted by: BCochran1981 - Credible Hulk at February 07, 2015 08:25 PM (GEICT)

200 Shit. Willowed again. Here was my offering at the end of the BW Bio Thread:

There I was, flat on my back at 17,000 feet. I had just executed an
Immelmann and a snap half roll at full power in my P-51H (nicknamed
"Trim-Hunter", natch) in order to gain altitude and position myself to
come out of the sun, as I prepared to dive on the five Focke-Wulf 190
A-8s from I./JG 1 prepared to take strafing runs on US troops below. It
was 27 December, 1944, and the Battle of the Bulge was raging below, the
issue still very much in doubt. My 2270 HP Rolls Royce V-1650-9 engine
purred like a giant jungle cat after a good feed, as I throttled forward
and dove toward the unsuspecting FWs preparing their own runs in tight
formation. I lit up my 6 .50 Cal Brownings and stitched a pattern across
the canopies of each plane as I crossed over the German formation
diagonally, instantly killing each pilot. An "Ace" in a single pass!

I
later discovered that the leader of the German flight was
Gruppenkommandeur Hans Ehlers, himself with 55 victories before I killed
him this day. I chuckled . . . "my work here is done" and flew back to
the 364th Fighter Group airfield from whence I'd flown that afternoon,
and after checking in my aircraft, decamped for what I considered an
even more challenging prey than the hapless Germans I'd sent to Hell
today: the Liberated French Woman.

Brian "Ace" Williams

Posted by: Brian at February 07, 2015 08:25 PM (rXB/r)

201 "Man when I heard over the radio what the chopper miles away was going through... You don't think it takes guts to cry like a baby and piss and shit yourself in front of a chopper full of marines?"

Posted by: Dirks Strewn at February 07, 2015 08:26 PM (TIgJq)

202 My friends at the Peacock Network just don't get it.

I've had death stare me in the eye. I've overcome it.

However, I'd never want to take away from the brave men (women??? heh) who served.

We looked after each other.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at February 07, 2015 08:26 PM (FsuaD)

203 "They say that being in Iraq changes a man, but it was a matter of months before I realized just how right they were."

Posted by: Splunge at February 07, 2015 08:26 PM (qyomX)

204 Heh. This is probably the best Saturday night I've ever had here.

Behold the power of this fully operational smart military blog.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, who did not vote for this sh1t at February 07, 2015 08:26 PM (0HooB)

205 No. I don't think I'll ever get over Macho Grande.

Posted by: Diogenes at February 07, 2015 08:26 PM (08Znv)

206 When I was face down in the .I'd trying to sink further into Mother Earth, the only thing I could think was at least I won't have to tell my grandchildren I shoveled shit in Louisiana.

Posted by: Brian Williams speaking truth to power at February 07, 2015 08:26 PM (4WSCA)

207 After all this blows over I may need to move to Canada. From my hotel room I could see the flashes on the horizon and know it had my name on the incoming.

Posted by: Brian Williams at February 07, 2015 08:27 PM (WNERA)

208 I once had a senior colleague who was a master at dissembling, and had the perfect personality for it. He'd rip off someone else's idea, then whenever it came up, he'd vehemently protest that he had had nothing to do with the genesis of the idea, absolutely nothing at all, it was 101% Bloggs' doing, he was just following in Bloggs' footsteps, Bloggs was the man to whom all credit should accrue.


The cunning thing was that he went so far out of his way in his protestations, so over the top, that everyone hearing it assumed he was merely being statesmanlike, and deferring credit to his junior colleague, trying to help him launching his career. Non-cognoscenti onlookers would nudge each other and nod. What a great guy!


Except every word he said was the truth. And a self-aggrandizing lie, at the same time.


It was ingenious, and used to drive me nuts. But what could you say: you didn't give him (or me, as in many cases) credit? He'd protest, "But I did! I went out of my way to give him (or me, as in many cases) credit? What else could I do?"

Posted by: John Roberts at February 07, 2015 08:27 PM (oKE6c)

209 You men eat your dinner
Eat your pork & beans
I eat more lutefisk
Any man ever seen

Posted by: Brian Williamsborg at February 07, 2015 08:27 PM (7RXcs)

210 lol ace who the fuck thinks self deprecation makes you sound badass? it makes you sound like a pussy.
Posted by: Johnny


What crawled up your ass and died?

Posted by: weft cut-loop at February 07, 2015 08:27 PM (DMJw2)

211
anyone who says the pen is mightier than the sword hasn't faced down a 300 pound motherfucker with an ali baba blade in a hot Sadr City souq

Posted by: ace at February 07, 2015 08:27 PM (E+pqw)

212
The troops loved it when I handed out nude pictures of my crazy daughter, Allison.

She did her part for the war. I couldn't be more proud.
......................
I was the one taking all the risk.

Posted by: Ebon Moss-Bachrach at February 07, 2015 08:27 PM (wAQA5)

213
Brian Williams in an "emergency" landing: After the pilot warned us over the P/A that the landing gear might not be down and the landing might be very rough, every person on the plane was scared -- me, most of all.

But as I looked over at the single mom and her 6 yr old son in the seats next to me, I thought: As scared as I am right now, I have to hide that fear for them. I put me hand on the boy's shoulder and said reassuringly, "It's gonna be okay." His mom smiled with relief, and I nodded back to her. Little did they know how terrified I was.


/thread

Posted by: Soothsayer learned psychology from Bob Newhart at February 07, 2015 08:27 PM (haxo2)

214 "Back in the States, civilians could afford to be casual about their mortality. I didn't have that luxury."

Posted by: Splunge at February 07, 2015 08:27 PM (qyomX)

215 You know.....When you find youself in danger, or When you're threatened by a stranger,... or even When it looks like you will take a lickin', ....
There is someone waiting. Who will hurry up and rescue you. And I was there. I know.

Posted by: Brian Willie Boy is Here at February 07, 2015 08:27 PM (C+vOU)

216 They say you can tell a real operator by what he doesn't say. I'll leave it at that.

Posted by: Mr. Feverhead at February 07, 2015 08:28 PM (j1Wvr)

217 Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear to be bright until you hear them speak.


Posted by: Brian Williams at February 07, 2015 08:28 PM (/ifBZ)

218 When we finally settled onto the sand safely, one of the crew was sobbing and shaking. "What's the matter with you?" I asked. "I... I guess I... I can't take it sir" he replied.

I slapped him around a bit..., called him a coward.., but it didn't help. Too bad.

Posted by: Brian Williams at February 07, 2015 08:28 PM (/GgDU)

219 After Katrina, I slept in my rental car. Or was it a five star hotel? Memory fails when you're concerned about the suffering of your fellow man.

Why the fuck can't a five star hotel keep its ice maker going in the bar?

Sorry. Flashback.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at February 07, 2015 08:28 PM (FsuaD)

220 The slow chopper blade
penetrates the night's shield
Fear is the boner killer

Posted by: Not quite a haiku at February 07, 2015 08:28 PM (7o6GQ)

221 Shit. That was me.

Posted by: Jay Guevara at February 07, 2015 08:28 PM (oKE6c)

222 Getting shot at while in a helicopter while looking straight down into the firing tube of an RPG is not something you'd want to do twice. Trust me.

Posted by: Kevin at February 07, 2015 08:29 PM (Qhc3Z)

223 "The whoosh of an RPG, passing through the blades of the helicopter you are trusting to get you through safe, is a sound no one ever forgets."

Posted by: Splunge at February 07, 2015 08:29 PM (qyomX)

224 When I got back from the shit I headed back home to crash at my Sister's place. When I got there, and we did all the hugging and shit, I went into the den to say Hi to my nephew. He was playing some military game and his character just got splatted by an RPG. He reset and tried again. I lost it. I grabbed the controller and threw it against the wall. "It ain't like that, kid!" I yelled. "You can't reset a fucking thing!". My Sister came in and gently led me out. The kid just grabbed another controller and reset again.

Posted by: Brian Williams at February 07, 2015 08:30 PM (MQEz6)

225 Man, I wish he hadn't told you about that. I mean, it really isn't that big a deal and to tell the truth, I was a little afraid.

I just did what anyone would have done if a live grenade had landed at their feet, I just picked it up and threw it back at Charlie.

What's that? Sorry, you'll have to speak up, I'm a little deaf in my left ear.

Posted by: JackStraw at February 07, 2015 08:30 PM (g1DWB)

226 There, in the heart of Iraq, in the crucible of war, I remembered that distant afternoon when my father introduced me to broadcast news on our humble black and white TV in our simple Elmira, New York home.

Posted by: My Sisters' Brother at February 07, 2015 08:30 PM (sVz2O)

227 "In a combat zone, you experience things you never want to speak about again. I would tell you the details, Dave, but I never want to think about that time again. I don't want the nightmares to return."

Posted by: Splunge at February 07, 2015 08:31 PM (qyomX)

228 "I made it a point never to let the men see me cry. But I have to tell you there were some nights on that combat line where I would crawl into my little tent and start bawling like a big old baby."

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at February 07, 2015 08:31 PM (ZbCKc)

229
in the desert, in the darkness, you come to love the howls of the jackals, because you know that there aren't any Tangos slipping past them

Posted by: ace at February 07, 2015 08:31 PM (E+pqw)

230 Confederate General Nathan Bedford Forrest, possibly the first grand dragon of the Ku Klux Klan, spoke at the 1868 Democratic National Convention. Most Klansmen were Democrats. The party refused to condemn the Klan as late as its 1924 convention, a gathering wags called "the Klanbake."


I hope nobody gets on their "high horse"

Posted by: Islamic Rage Boy at February 07, 2015 08:32 PM (e8kgV)

231 I'd tell you what happened, but then I'd have to explain it to the nice large gentlemen in black suits with earpieces who'd ring my doorbell.

That would be far more dangerous that what I've really been through...

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, who did not vote for this sh1t at February 07, 2015 08:32 PM (0HooB)

232 She's always been an artist. And I like to watch.

Posted by: Brian Williams at February 07, 2015 08:33 PM (wAQA5)

233 You know, my mentor, Tom Brokaw, once told me this story [which is totally true]:

I was driving into work one day in my limo, and saw these homeless men on the streets of Manhattan, and thought, "I'm envious of them. They don't know how lucky they are."

^^^totes true story^^^ Jane D'oh

Posted by: Jane D'oh at February 07, 2015 08:33 PM (FsuaD)

234

In the desert you can remember your name
'Cause there ain't no one for to give you no pain

Posted by: Brian Zelig Williams at February 07, 2015 08:33 PM (W5DcG)

235 I'd like to tell you all about it, really, i would.
But it's still to real to me, Dave.

Posted by: Garrett at February 07, 2015 08:33 PM (7o6GQ)

236 To follow on my comment at 08:27...

Suppose Williams had said he'd never been in any danger, that he was choppering around over Iraq, and sure, others had been fired upon, but he'd been as safe as in his mother's arms, no harm could possibly have come to him, thanks to the brave Marines and soldiers around him, that he never gave a thought to his own safety, etc., and went on in that vein for a while.


Inference: he was in the shit, but was a man about it, and deflecting credit and glory to others. Brian "Smoke me a kipper" Williams, spitting in Fate's eye. What a man! And every word would have been true.

Posted by: Jay Guevara at February 07, 2015 08:33 PM (oKE6c)

237 "Those men had the training. They were the experts. And yet, when I said "I got this," there was a palpable change in the atmosphere of the room."

Posted by: Splunge at February 07, 2015 08:33 PM (qyomX)

238 We're guessing that everyone is here crackin' wise because the fine movies "Seventh Son" and "Jupiter Ascending" simply haven't started yet.

Hey, do us a solid and turn off your phones when the movie starts? You know. Because you're clearly about to watch the movie. Like the rest of America. They're going to watch those movies. Like... maybe by tomorrow?

*sweat*

Posted by: Warner Bros + Universal at February 07, 2015 08:34 PM (AVEe1)

239 I've head the sound of gunfire before, but never so close and loud it was deafening.


I so I got up and turns down the sound in his theater room.*

Posted by: Brian Williams 'dismembering more heroic shit every day' at February 07, 2015 08:34 PM (Msg5U)

240 @230

Oh, a Klanbake! I've never been to one of those!

Posted by: Pither at February 07, 2015 08:34 PM (AFsCH)

241 It seems strange, but you think about your own morality at times like that. It's humbling.

Posted by: AmishDude at February 07, 2015 08:34 PM (b4b5c)

242 It was sunset. Minutes after the bang. Smoke, fire, everything else. I knew it was the end, so I closed my eyes and accepted cruel fate. That's when the smoke changed. The fire had gotten hotter somehow. Searing. Singeing.

The Beast tried to welcome me to his domain, so I raped him with his own pitchfork, and told him he'd best have me back in time to see the sunrise.

Posted by: The Mega Independent at February 07, 2015 08:34 PM (QCo5R)

243 As bad as it is when you are in the shit, it's worse later, when your in your sack, trying to get some sleep, and it all comes back to you.

Posted by: Brian Williams speaking truth to power at February 07, 2015 08:34 PM (O5V1+)

244 the Tango fell dead at my feet. He was carrying six pounds of edible food in his pack and a good sixty pounds more on his bones.

Posted by: ace at February 07, 2015 08:34 PM (E+pqw)

245 OK war describers, dinner's calling.

Y'all have fun and try not to trash the place, 'k?

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, who did not vote for this sh1t at February 07, 2015 08:35 PM (0HooB)

246 In such a situation you have no time to think. Instinct takes over - it's either kill or be killed.

Posted by: Baron Von Ottomatic at February 07, 2015 08:35 PM (ufrZ6)

247 bruce jenner drives like a girl.

Posted by: seamrog at February 07, 2015 08:36 PM (LjYAl)

248 Posted by: troyriser at February 07, 2015 08:21 PM (gJU39)

Nice.

Posted by: Tammy al-Thor at February 07, 2015 08:36 PM (2HvRz)

249 "You put yourself on the line by taking a copter into a forward area, and you get news that the bird just an hour ahead of yours was shot down. Is your vehicle next? You look around and you know with certainty the same thing is going through the mind of every soldier in that chopper. You can see it in their eyes, and you think to yourself maybe the best thing for these kids is that they see confidence in an older guy like me, even if it's just to help ease their fears."

There, I just elevated myself above the soldiers and we didn't even get any enemy fire. Badass, but also wise... I'm the Gandalf of journalists.

Posted by: SGT York at February 07, 2015 08:36 PM (IQP/f)

250 I'd tell you how it feels, what it's like, but that red headed guy, Chuck, he already did and I don't want to get yelled at for stealing his story.

Posted by: BCochran1981 - Credible Hulk at February 07, 2015 08:36 PM (GEICT)

251 I remember encouraging the Marines to stay strong. They looked at me like sad, sad, smoky puppies.

Flashback. Horrible.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at February 07, 2015 08:36 PM (FsuaD)

252 My cameraman turned to me and said "Level with me, Brian, are we going to get out of this in one piece?" As the Managing Editor of NBC News, I knew it was my job to give him backbone. So I said "Look at this face. Do you see fear? Follow my lead, and everything will be all right."

Posted by: Splunge at February 07, 2015 08:36 PM (qyomX)

253 Yes, I'm glad to be home. But a part of me is never coming home. I can't explain it any better than that, nobody can. It's not something someone can tell you, you have to live it with your brothers.

Posted by: JackStraw at February 07, 2015 08:36 PM (g1DWB)

254 Most Klansmen were Democrats. The party refused to
condemn the Klan as late as its 1924 convention, a gathering wags called
"the Klanbake."
Islamic Rage Boy at February 07, 2015 08:32 PM (e8kgV)

"Most Klansmen were Democrats," in the sense that most Klansmen were white, viz., fucking all of them were Democrats. WTF do you think they were lynching? It was Republicans, mostly black, but some white.

Posted by: Jay Guevara at February 07, 2015 08:37 PM (oKE6c)

255 There are no couches in the desert, Dave.
No toasters. And no cheese.
Men grow close without these things. They share things. Things you don't talk about when you get back.

Posted by: Garrett at February 07, 2015 08:37 PM (7o6GQ)

256 What did I do in theatre?

I could tell you but then I would have to kill you.

Posted by: Williams at February 07, 2015 08:37 PM (NaeCR)

257 The real heroes were the men, women and LGBTs

Howling over here!

Posted by: Tammy al-Thor at February 07, 2015 08:38 PM (2HvRz)

258 I could tell you about spider camel fights the enlisted entertained themselves with.

But I won't.

I'm still scarred.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at February 07, 2015 08:38 PM (FsuaD)

259 Watching the body float by ass up in the flood, Geraldo and I came to blows over who got sloppy seconds. I won.

Posted by: Brian Williams at February 07, 2015 08:38 PM (wAQA5)

260 They say they're are no atheists in foxhole but what I noticed was the absence of God's love.

Posted by: Brian Williams speaking truth to power at February 07, 2015 08:38 PM (Kj3+n)

261 "When a soldier returns from the abyss, he is given time to heal. A Newsman must stand up and do the show. We must keep our wounds on the inside."

Posted by: Splunge at February 07, 2015 08:39 PM (qyomX)

262 Garrett, I die.

Posted by: Tammy al-Thor at February 07, 2015 08:39 PM (2HvRz)

263 "Sure, in Manhattan I get a driver and a fancy office. But Dave, out there a desert war zone, with just you, your comrades and the steady thud of enemy artillery walking its lethal steps toward your exposed position, life becomes elemental. You understand what's important and what's not."

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at February 07, 2015 08:39 PM (ZbCKc)

264 As the situation intensified, I recalled an old trick I learned in elementary school. If you put your head down between your knees, the swirling sensation will go away. Pro tip: sit down when you do this.

Posted by: Brian Williams at February 07, 2015 08:39 PM (/GgDU)

265 Moonless nights are the worst - the enemy craves darkness. I just prayed that if our bird did go down there'd be enough moonlight for the night vision gear to be effective.

Posted by: Baron Von Ottomatic at February 07, 2015 08:40 PM (ufrZ6)

266
There are no couches in the desert, Dave.
No toasters. And no cheese.
Men grow close without these things. They share things. Things you don't talk about when you get back.
.................
First dibs on the jar of peanut butter!

Posted by: Brian Williams at February 07, 2015 08:40 PM (wAQA5)

267 Posted by: Splunge at February 07, 2015 08:39 PM (qyomX)

Awesome

Posted by: The Mega Independent at February 07, 2015 08:40 PM (QCo5R)

268 War is a drug, Dave. Strongest shit there is.

Posted by: ace at February 07, 2015 08:40 PM (E+pqw)

269 Both sides were out of ammo and it was hand-to-hand. My dance partner was a linebacker corporal with bad teeth and muscles that had muscles. He probably was well trained in this shit, but he must have decided to just bull me down. Gotta say it was pretty close, but I like to keep an extra knife in my boot for special shivving occassions just like this one.

Posted by: Brian Williams at February 07, 2015 08:40 PM (MQEz6)

270 One night, I comforted Geraldo in a bar of what might have been a five star hotel. Or a rental car. I can't remember.

We shared a moment. Or an hour.

Anyhow, we both came out stronger, and more committed than ever to expose Bush for the cowardly war monger and ignorer of Katrina that he was.

My proudest time on air. Ever.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at February 07, 2015 08:41 PM (FsuaD)

271 252
My cameraman turned to me and said "Level with me, Brian, are we going
to get out of this in one piece?" As the Managing Editor of NBC News, I
knew it was my job to give him backbone. So I said "Look at this face.
Do you see fear? Follow my lead, and everything will be all right." While thinking: " I hope he doesnt notice I wet myself..."

Posted by: tfox72 at February 07, 2015 08:41 PM (PwgpJ)

272
Hell yeah I'm afraid to die! Maybe that makes me less of a man, but at least I'm not afraid to admit it.

Posted by: Soothsayer learned psychology from Bob Newhart at February 07, 2015 08:41 PM (haxo2)

273 Hey, how about we ask Bob Woodruff/ABC news about being shot at. Since he actually got shot up and all.

Posted by: bebe's boobs destroy at February 07, 2015 08:42 PM (1xRkW)

274 "I'll probably never forget that chopper ride. Those brave men and women that face it every day? They probably already have."

Posted by: Sayyid at February 07, 2015 08:43 PM (brAG3)

275 I don't know where it comes from, but in desperate moments I have this uncanny knack for dropping just the right bon mot to lighten the tension. In the height of the chaos I quipped "We really took one on the chinook there!" The laughter was audible above the din, and the pilots redoubled their efforts.

Posted by: Brian "Robin" Williams at February 07, 2015 08:43 PM (tCODv)

276 I've faced death in the eye many times.

It's taught me things.

Like, if Rosie O'Donnell comes after my seat, go full-on Iraq war shit on her. Not to be misogynist, however.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at February 07, 2015 08:43 PM (FsuaD)

277 I look out my French Quarter hotel and there's a body face down in the street. It's Mardi Gras 2010, and all is right with the city. I look out at that gentleman, face down, vomit emerging from him like an oil well that's just been tapped, and I think, 'You're welcome.'

Posted by: SGT York at February 07, 2015 08:43 PM (IQP/f)

278 The incoming fire loosened my bowels and I knew I had to act immediately before I shit my pants before man and God. I grabbed a packet of MRE cheese spread I kept handy for emergencies, and asked the crew chief to squirt it up my ass. He gave me a funny look and then winked, and filled my poop shoot with the sticky yellow concrete. It plugged me up like a meteor in the Hoover Dam.

Then the crew chief gave me a backrub and his hooch number. I knew everything was going to be ok.

Posted by: OG CELTIC-AMERICAN at February 07, 2015 08:44 PM (dVAfd)

279 Half a league, half a league,
Half a league onward,
All in the valley of Death
Flew the news chopper.
"Forward, the Truth must be told!
"Charge for the lens!" he said:
Into the valley of Death
Flew the other guys too.

Posted by: Lt. Alfred at February 07, 2015 08:44 PM (9UbUz)

280
One night, I comforted Geraldo in a bar of what might have been a five star hotel. Or a rental car. I can't remember.

We shared a moment. Or an hour.
.................
I remember it well. It was a rental car in the Pizza Hut parking lot. We watched bodies float by and cuddled afterwards.

Posted by: Gerdildo Retardo at February 07, 2015 08:45 PM (wAQA5)

281 There's no shortcuts. It takes decades of hard-scrabble, white-knuckle journalism to get to that place...that place where you can watch your daughter getting gang-banged and say "THIS helps her career"

"I got this"

Posted by: Brian Williamsborg at February 07, 2015 08:45 PM (7RXcs)

282 I took solace in the fact I have private health insurance and if the worst happened I wouldn't be shuffled into the same shitty VA health system as the men around me.

Posted by: Baron Von Ottomatic at February 07, 2015 08:45 PM (ufrZ6)

283 If only I'd been given the chance to go to Syria. The war would have taken a different direction.

DAMMIT! I'd have found those hostages. ALL OF THEM. And brought them home.

My saddest moment of my incredible broadcast career.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at February 07, 2015 08:46 PM (FsuaD)

284 Would I go back?
I'd sooner fuck a chimpanzee.
And I hate fucking monkeys, Dave.

Posted by: Garrett at February 07, 2015 08:46 PM (7o6GQ)

285 The things I saw in New Orleans...(dramatic pause)....let's just say they'll haunt me for the rest of my days.

Posted by: Lizzy at February 07, 2015 08:46 PM (WvpaS)

286 (cribbed...thank you Ted Knight)

"Dave, a lot of the reporting I did in Iraq sent many young men into the arms of ISIS for a prompt beheading. I didn't want to do it...felt I owed it to them. How about a Fresca?"

Posted by: SGT York at February 07, 2015 08:46 PM (IQP/f)

287 I am telling you Brian, those Champagne douches with the colored girls?



You'll forget all your troubles. Wait, maybe this is a CBS thing.

Posted by: Steve Kroft at February 07, 2015 08:46 PM (0FSuD)

288 f I were going to succomb to the perils of covering combat, I couldn't have asked for greater company in such an exit.

Posted by: CAC at February 07, 2015 08:47 PM (CwHRr)

289 It's amazing how you can't remember hearing the sound of the explosion.

Posted by: Socratease at February 07, 2015 08:48 PM (2GbWn)

290 I introduce my kid sister to my friend Carlo. Not a big deal but then they end up married and Carlo beats her. I get pissed and get assassinated at a toll both. It was all a set-up. I committed to familia. Fuck this thread.

Posted by: Sonny Corleone at February 07, 2015 08:48 PM (gwG9s)

291
The incoming fire loosened my bowels and I knew I had to act immediately before I shit my pants before man and God. I grabbed a packet of MRE cheese spread I kept handy for emergencies, and asked the crew chief to squirt it up my ass. He gave me a funny look and then winked, and filled my poop shoot with the sticky yellow concrete. It plugged me up like a meteor in the Hoover Dam.
...............................
And I thank you for that, Allison.

Posted by: Ebon Moss-Bachrach at February 07, 2015 08:48 PM (wAQA5)

292 NBC brass said to me "Brian, get your ass to Mars"

Posted by: Brian Zelig Williams at February 07, 2015 08:48 PM (W5DcG)

293 When you're surrounded by a gang in a hotel lobby you never know what you're capable of, until you do it.

Posted by: buzzion at February 07, 2015 08:48 PM (zt+N6)

294 Those guys in the front lines in combat? Yes. Respect them.

But never forget those of us putting our un-armed lives on the lives reporting.

Never. Forget.

Ooh-yay or whatever you guys say

Posted by: Jane D'oh at February 07, 2015 08:48 PM (FsuaD)

295 Watching the body float by ass up in the flood, Geraldo and I came to blows over who got sloppy seconds.

I won.


(Posted by: Brian Williams at February 07, 2015 08:38 PM)

Geraldo had to go first.

Posted by: Williams at February 07, 2015 08:48 PM (NaeCR)

296 I could go into further detail about my helicopter ride under enemy fire, but I want you to continue to sleep well at night. Those of us there? Well, we no longer have that luxury.

Posted by: Lizzy at February 07, 2015 08:49 PM (WvpaS)

297 I don't know what came over me. Call it rage for lack of a better word. But when I saw that squad of bad guys trying to gang rape that Baghdad University coed, well I just lost it.

I'm sadly familiar with the plague of coed gang rape here in the States and I couldn't let it spread to Iraq.

Posted by: JackStraw at February 07, 2015 08:49 PM (g1DWB)

298 I coulda been a hero in my kids eyes. But noooo the attack of the assholes.

The swhoosh of assholes passing by, ask anyone who has been there it has a distinct sound.

Posted by: Brian Williams at February 07, 2015 08:49 PM (WNERA)

299 Safely back at camp, I recited the St. Crispin's Day Speech. My comrades were moved to tears. Many tried to give me a hug..., but that would not have been manly..., so I brushed them off.

Posted by: Brian Williams at February 07, 2015 08:49 PM (/GgDU)

300 Brian, look at the bright side, at least you never fcuked Babara Wawa.



What, no please don't tell me that shit.



Posted by: Steve Kroft at February 07, 2015 08:49 PM (0FSuD)

301 "That week I got back to the real world, well, I holed up in a cheap motel on the Jersey turnpike for a solid week. It seemed that the only one who could understand what I'd been through was Jack Daniels, and lucky for me he turned out to be a damn good listener."

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at February 07, 2015 08:49 PM (ZbCKc)

302 They say war changes you. Yeah, it changed me. It focused me. Gave me purpose. Before it, I was just like the rest of you. Another worthless fart bubble blowing in the wind.

So yeah. It changed me.

Posted by: The Mega Independent at February 07, 2015 08:50 PM (QCo5R)

303 As my tears washed away the last traces of smoke from my eyes, I saw the quiet courage signaled by the bravely wagging tail of the three-week-old puppy and took heart that I too would make it through this ordeal.


/Brian "Taking My Cue From the Puppy" Williams

Posted by: Muldoon, a solid man at February 07, 2015 08:50 PM (NeFrd)

304 I came back from every report. Scarred. Deeply.

That's not to take away from the brave men and women who serve.

It's just to let you know, for the millionth time, I'm a hero. In my own mind.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at February 07, 2015 08:51 PM (FsuaD)

305 I don't talk much about what happened. Brings back memories I'd rather not be reminded of.

Posted by: Bitter Clinger and All That at February 07, 2015 08:51 PM (RZzX3)

306 Seamus wanted me to put him on the roof.

Posted by: Mitt:3.97 GPA at February 07, 2015 08:51 PM (gwG9s)

307 You know Dave, it doesn't matter if your holding a smoking MK16 Mod 0 SCAR or a smoking hot blonde, deep operators keep secrets. Lets move on.

Posted by: Mr. Feverhead at February 07, 2015 08:51 PM (j1Wvr)

308 You just don't "go into" a Used Care Salesman's office. You "move upon" it. ...With a sense of purpose.

Posted by: ColdBeer1 (Slap) (T) at February 07, 2015 08:51 PM (16bOT)

309 cicero, hah.

Posted by: ace at February 07, 2015 08:52 PM (E+pqw)

310 Before we departed to the front, an officer made sure I was outfitted with a proper flak jacket, body armor, and helmet. A 'brain bucket', he called it, and remarked that this bucket was protecting a very special brain. We are still great friends to this day, by the way. "This stuff could stop a direct hit by an RPG," he crowed. Little did I know the possibility of just such an event occurring on this trip.

Posted by: Brian at February 07, 2015 08:52 PM (tCODv)

311 I just can't get the picture of that puppy out of my mind.

Posted by: Bitter Clinger and All That at February 07, 2015 08:52 PM (RZzX3)

312 That three week old puppy staring up at me with barely/hardly opened eyes.

Or was that two puppies? Where was the mother?

STOP MAKING ME HEAR THE WORDS IN MY MIND!!!!!!

Posted by: Jane D'oh at February 07, 2015 08:52 PM (FsuaD)

313 What is the sound of one hand clapping? I could have told you that day if both my hands weren't firmly clasped around death's throat.

Posted by: Baron Von Ottomatic at February 07, 2015 08:54 PM (ufrZ6)

314 Whenever I arrive at an LZ, I squat down and take a piss to kind of let the boys know that this is nothing we can't handle.

Posted by: John at February 07, 2015 08:54 PM (38lI5)

315 Ahhh, my friend Mr. Jack Daniels.

STOP TALKING TO ME!!! *swings hands wildly at nothing*

*sobs* I'M A HERO!!!!! AND IT'S NOT IN MY OWN MIND!!!!!!!


Posted by: Jane D'oh at February 07, 2015 08:54 PM (FsuaD)

316 I am always amazed that that puppy I saved went on to win The Westminster Dog show.



Thank goodness they were polite enough not to mention my name more that ten times.

Posted by: Fireman Brian at February 07, 2015 08:55 PM (0FSuD)

317 War loosens your bowels and strengthens your backbone Dave. And my spine is strong as steel.

Posted by: OG CELTIC-AMERICAN at February 07, 2015 08:55 PM (dVAfd)

318
NBC brass said to me "Brian, get your ass to Mars"
Posted by: Brian Zelig Williams
.......................
And take your daughter, because Mars Needs Women (who have plenty of air up their ass)

Posted by: Bri-Bri Williams at February 07, 2015 08:55 PM (wAQA5)

319 At some point, when all hell is breaking loose, flames seemingly everywhere you look, you focus on saving just one thing and then instinct takes over. You don't even know how the puppy ends up safe, you just thank the gods that both of you lived through the day.

Posted by: Lizzy at February 07, 2015 08:55 PM (WvpaS)

320 the spookies pounded the Tangos into bloody chunks that fell up into the sky. That morning it rained men, Dave. It rained men.

Posted by: ace at February 07, 2015 08:56 PM (E+pqw)

321 Years after Katrina I watched the first tow seasons of Treme. In one weekend. That experience will be forever seared into my memory,

Posted by: Brian Williams: Serial Watcher at February 07, 2015 08:56 PM (gwG9s)

322 The incoming fire loosened my bowels and I knew I
had to act immediately before I shit my pants before man and God. I
grabbed a packet of MRE cheese spread I kept handy for emergencies, and
asked the crew chief to squirt it up my ass. He gave me a funny look and
then winked, and filled my poop shoot with the sticky yellow concrete.
It plugged me up like a meteor in the Hoover Dam.
...............................
And I thank you for that, Allison.

Posted by: Ebon Moss-Bachrach a

Since they repealed 'don't ask / don't tell' it's a trick they teach all the newbies.
Before the repeal it was explained with hand gestures.

Posted by: Williams at February 07, 2015 08:56 PM (NaeCR)

323 Every time I take the Helo shuttle to JFK, I am haunted by my experience. I can't stop scanning Manhattan below...., waiting for the tail-tale spiral of RPG smoke.

Posted by: Brian Williams at February 07, 2015 08:56 PM (/GgDU)

324 Warn't no thang!

Posted by: Muldoon, a solid man at February 07, 2015 08:56 PM (NeFrd)

325 No big whoop!

Posted by: Muldoon, a solid man at February 07, 2015 08:56 PM (NeFrd)

326 I'll always be more important than the rest of you fly-over losers.

I've got the White House and its minions behind me.

You guys? Zip.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

*falls down stairs in drunken stupor*

Posted by: Jane D'oh at February 07, 2015 08:57 PM (FsuaD)

327 I can't wait to host SNL tonight!


They said they had a great part for me.



Camera man.

Posted by: Brian, smug MFer, Williams at February 07, 2015 08:57 PM (0FSuD)

328 "We all agreed we would never talk about who was voted bravest at Base Alpha Tango Foxtrot. It would be unseemly of me to say more."

Posted by: Splunge at February 07, 2015 08:57 PM (qyomX)

329 It was airborne Dave. Raining men to same me.

Posted by: Brian Williams at February 07, 2015 08:57 PM (WNERA)

330 Time starts playing tricks on you, Dave. Had it been 3 hours since I ate or 3 days? Was that a ham sandwich or some gook prostitute's vagina?

Posted by: Warden at February 07, 2015 08:57 PM (bmp0d)

331 You know, you've heard all the old submariners talk about trailing Soviet subs danger close under the arctic ice, you just never thought it would happen to you.

Posted by: traye at February 07, 2015 08:58 PM (byg/g)

332 You may be tempted to call me a hero, or to lecture me that the risks I took were too great, but know this: I am committed to getting the story.
You deserve that much.

Posted by: Lizzy at February 07, 2015 08:58 PM (WvpaS)

333 I still hear the whimpering of the puppies and their mom I didn't save.

Every night.

But Dad and I really enjoyed going out together to watch house fires.

So I've got that going for me.

Along with my incredible war stories.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at February 07, 2015 08:58 PM (FsuaD)

334 "It was eery, the subtle change that came over the landscape as the helicopter made its way up the Euphrates. Woodruff was there, waiting; I could feel his presence the closer we got to Baghdad. The crew was clearly agitated, and the less I told them about the mission, the harder the awkward silences were becoming to sit through. We'd all seen shit we'd rather forget, especially the Playboy USO show back in Qatar. Centerfolds from 1976? The horror...the horror... no one talked any more. After awhile I began to realize Woodruff was inexorably drawing us to him, as the desert slowly swallowed us up like an angry camel. One of us was coming back, we both knew it. Never get off the helicopter. Absolutely gosh darn right. I love the smell of latte in the morning."

Posted by: SGT York at February 07, 2015 08:59 PM (IQP/f)

335 You never forget the sound of Puff when you have to call 'em in on your own position.

Posted by: Bitter Clinger and All That at February 07, 2015 08:59 PM (RZzX3)

336 Once Hulu Prime got hold of me I just couldn't quit him. Why can't I quit you Hulu Prime? You're no good for me!

Posted by: Brian Williams: Brokeback Hulu at February 07, 2015 08:59 PM (gwG9s)

337 You can have the shakes. A lot of the men go through that, Dave. What sets some apart is the ability to get it up when you need to.

Posted by: ColdBeer1 (Slap) (T) at February 07, 2015 08:59 PM (16bOT)

338 When one rides the tiger mind the danger at both ends.

Posted by: Brian Williams at February 07, 2015 09:00 PM (j1Wvr)

339 Dave, real reporters take risks to get the story. It is what we do. If I took more risks than others to get that story, does that make me a hero? I say it just makes me a reporter, doing his job.

Posted by: Splunge at February 07, 2015 09:00 PM (qyomX)

340 When you're riding a bird in Iraq the ground fire can come from anywhere, and we were completely surrounded by anywhere.

Posted by: Baron Von Ottomatic at February 07, 2015 09:00 PM (ufrZ6)

341 I can sum it all up in just one word... courage, dedication, daring, pride, pluck, spirit, grit, mettle, and G. U. T. S. *GUTS*. Why, Brian Williams' got more guts in his little finger than most of us have in our large intestine - including the colon.

Posted by: Steve McCroskey at February 07, 2015 09:00 PM (9UbUz)

342 Dear Penthouse Forum - I had just met Connie Chung...

Posted by: Brian Williams at February 07, 2015 09:01 PM (gwG9s)

343 And so I shouted out to the others in the chopper, grabbing a stray RPG with my right (non-catching) hand, "Come on, you sons of bitches, do you want to live forever!"

Posted by: Jdemps at February 07, 2015 09:01 PM (utyi4)

344 "Death? What does anybody know of death. You can watch the man you interviewed in the morning get cut to pieces in a hail of AK fire in the afternoon, and the meaning of death isn't one iota clearer. It's just always there, Dave. Close, and hungry."

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at February 07, 2015 09:01 PM (ZbCKc)

345 New Game. What do you think Brian Williams Call Sign was?

Posted by: goatexchange at February 07, 2015 09:01 PM (C+vOU)

346 285 The things I saw in New Orleans...(dramatic pause)....let's just say they'll haunt me for the rest of my days.

Posted by: Lizzy at February 07, 2015 08:46 PM (WvpaS)



Nah. The way to do is to say, "the things I saw in New Orleans...(dramatic pause).... I don't like to talk about it."

Posted by: Jay Guevara at February 07, 2015 09:01 PM (oKE6c)

347 And Off Topic, but nice to see that Thomas Madden has written another piece this time calling Obama on his Crusades and Inquisition bullshit. I linked to two previous article by him from many years ago disputing "popular" perceptions of the Crusades and the Inquisition. And there was another article by him where he had to tear apart Bill Clinton's (Gee surprise another liberal president) claim about how the Crusades had made the streets of Jerusalem knee deep with blood.

Posted by: buzzion at February 07, 2015 09:02 PM (zt+N6)

348 Jaws

Posted by: Bitter Clinger and All That at February 07, 2015 09:02 PM (RZzX3)

349 I remember this puppy the enlisteds adopted somewhere in the desert of Iraq I won't mention (maybe later).

He was a cute little thing. Covered with flees. I began to feed him and gain his trust.

He bit the shit out of me and I had to go through a series of rabies shots.

I strangled him, gently, with my bare hands. Or I may be misremembering. It happens in the fog of war.


Posted by: Jane D'oh at February 07, 2015 09:02 PM (FsuaD)

350 If lies were ice cream, what flavor of ice cream is the Brian Williams lie?

Posted by: hadoop at February 07, 2015 09:02 PM (2X7pN)

351 I made my way to the back of the chopper and shook a young soldier, Dave. He needed it; and By God, I was going to give it to him.

Posted by: ColdBeer1 (Slap) (T) at February 07, 2015 09:02 PM (16bOT)

352 Helen Thomas? Sure she tongued my daughter, but I was butt fcuking while she did.



Cause that's how our family rolls. Team work!

Posted by: Brian, smug MFer, Williams at February 07, 2015 09:03 PM (0FSuD)

353 It was a small heavily armed patrol boat going up country. The lazy river was surrounded by the dense green of the jungle. We were after a rogue special forces agent playing god. You know what that is like right? Just ask any of them who heard Wagner played from helicopters.

Posted by: Brian Williams at February 07, 2015 09:03 PM (WNERA)

354 345
New Game. What do you think Brian Williams Call Sign was?



Limp Balls One

Posted by: Jane D'oh at February 07, 2015 09:03 PM (FsuaD)

355 >>New Game. What do you think Brian Williams Call Sign was?

Stuffed Peacock

Posted by: Lizzy at February 07, 2015 09:03 PM (WvpaS)

356 Mister Microphone

Posted by: ColdBeer1 (Slap) (T) at February 07, 2015 09:04 PM (16bOT)

357 345
New Game. What do you think Brian Williams Call Sign was?

Posted by: goatexchange at February 07, 2015 09:01 PM (C+vOU)

Everyone knows that, Douche Bag One. Save 15%!

Posted by: Brian, smug MFer, Williams at February 07, 2015 09:04 PM (0FSuD)

358 >New Game. What do you think Brian Williams Call Sign was?

Stiff Bird 1

Posted by: Lizzy at February 07, 2015 09:05 PM (WvpaS)

359 Dave, have you ever had the dysentery shits hit you in the middle of a flight operation and had to clean your ass out over the edge of the ramp and drop poop at 5000 feet? Let me tell you don't do it if you don't have to.

Posted by: OG CELTIC-AMERICAN at February 07, 2015 09:05 PM (dVAfd)

360 There was this corral in Tuscon, you might not remember the details.

Posted by: Brian Williams at February 07, 2015 09:05 PM (WNERA)

361 Plus Size Misrememberization

Posted by: Bertram Cabot Jr. at February 07, 2015 09:05 PM (W5DcG)

362 Dave, a Basra whore and death have one thing in common - as long as I was in Iraq they were both getting fucked, but good.

Posted by: Baron Von Ottomatic at February 07, 2015 09:05 PM (ufrZ6)

363 Cronkite Mitty Two

Posted by: goatexchange at February 07, 2015 09:05 PM (C+vOU)

364
Why, Brian Williams' got more guts in his little finger than most of us have in our large intestine - including the colon.
.............................
Colon. The colons good.

Posted by: Ebon Moss-Bachrach at February 07, 2015 09:05 PM (wAQA5)

365 Call sign: Fluffer

Posted by: Brian Williams at February 07, 2015 09:05 PM (MQEz6)

366 345 New Game. What do you think Brian Williams Call Sign was?

Posted by: goatexchange at February 07, 2015 09:01 PM (C+vOU)



Chopper

Posted by: BCochran1981 - Credible Hulk at February 07, 2015 09:06 PM (GEICT)

367 Aw, jeez...

Not to break up the party, but has anyone read the top story at Weasel Zippers?
The femenits one?

Posted by: shredded chi at February 07, 2015 09:06 PM (WoOWE)

368 Anchor Actual

Posted by: Brian Williams at February 07, 2015 09:06 PM (MQEz6)

369 350 If lies were ice cream, what flavor of ice cream is the Brian Williams lie?

Posted by: hadoop at February 07, 2015 09:02 PM (2X7pN)




Right now, Rocky Road.

Posted by: Jay Guevara at February 07, 2015 09:07 PM (oKE6c)

370 As we traveled into what we knew was contested air space I could count the blades of the Chinook as they spun above us.

---------

The reality of arriving safely at the site finally sunk in ...

----------

Adrenaline has a metallic taste that, when mixed with the fumes of fuel and fear, at 5,000' and descending fast makes for a powerful combination.

------------

It's said that your life flashes before your eyes, as I looked around the interior of the Chinook helicopter at the battle-worn soldiers in their sling seats, I waited to see what my eyes would show....

---------------

There's no good way to explain what happened that day, mere language cannot convey the full weight of what happens when it's you, the people with you, sharing danger a mile above the earth and descending fast ...

---------

I didn't travel in that Chinook helicopter seeking danger, sometimes danger seeks you...

-

Posted by: BumperStickerist at February 07, 2015 09:07 PM (IDj42)

371 Jeeze. I'm all out. It has been great fun, however.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at February 07, 2015 09:07 PM (FsuaD)

372 When I looked down the tube of that RPG, I had a flash forward moment in technicolor and surround sound and jumbotron. As my life flashed before my eyes, the past merged with the present and then into a future without me.

All I could think was, "I won't be there with my daughter, Allison, to watch her get her ass eaten out. " That single thought motivated me to muster up the words that I needed so desperately to hear myself say and I whispered in hushed tones, "I got this."

Posted by: Brian Williams at February 07, 2015 09:08 PM (REkPr)

373 Rim Job

Posted by: Call Sign at February 07, 2015 09:08 PM (7o6GQ)

374 345
New Game. What do you think Brian Williams Call Sign was?




Blow-dry One.

Posted by: Jay Guevara at February 07, 2015 09:08 PM (oKE6c)

375 When I was in the box they called me Blue Falcon 6. Out of respect, I'm told.

Posted by: Brian Williams at February 07, 2015 09:08 PM (j1Wvr)

376 >>Not to break up the party, but has anyone read the top story at Weasel Zippers?

These people are evil - and just as evil as families that abort girls, which is happening regularly in the UK now in certain populations.

Posted by: Lizzy at February 07, 2015 09:08 PM (WvpaS)

377
Brian Williams Call Sign
..................
Kid Motorboat Two

Posted by: wth at February 07, 2015 09:09 PM (wAQA5)

378 ever since Ramadi I wear a bracelet that says "WWCD?"

What Would Chewbacca Do?

Chewbacca would fuck shit up, Dave. That's what the fuck Chewbacca would do.

Posted by: ace at February 07, 2015 09:09 PM (E+pqw)

379
I would have followed John Kerry into Cambodia on his secret mission, but only found out later that Kerry was unfairly maligned by conservatives who claimed Kerry was never in Cambodia on a secret mission.

The President insisted Kerry conduct that mission, and that's why it remains such a secret even today. Richard Nixon was a very secretive man, and this only proves that point. I praise John Kerry for his ability to keep this secret for decades when he could have claimed otherwise.

Posted by: Brian Williams at February 07, 2015 09:09 PM (P330y)

380 Call sign: Smoky Puppy one-niner

Posted by: Muldoon, a solid man at February 07, 2015 09:09 PM (NeFrd)

381 Call sign: Showboat

Posted by: Lizzy at February 07, 2015 09:09 PM (WvpaS)

382 375,

Ha!

Posted by: SMFH at it all at February 07, 2015 09:10 PM (OsWis)

383 >>Anyway, I thought this might make a fun game: Re-write Brian Williams' attempts to sound bad-ass in such a way as would not have gotten him in trouble.

"Yeah, that's right! That's right! We bad!" And that certainly ain't no lie, daughter ass-eater!

Damn, you little people and your silly games. Too easy. You still don't seem to understand what sort of hero-god I am!

I'm Brian Williams, DAMMIT!!

Posted by: Brian Williams, Professional Hero at February 07, 2015 09:10 PM (MYSVz)

384 call sign: squats to pee

Posted by: Brian Williams at February 07, 2015 09:11 PM (WNERA)

385 I don't care what they say. I have scars from that incident.

In here.

In. Here.

Posted by: AmishDude at February 07, 2015 09:11 PM (b4b5c)

386 So, in the middle of all this soldier's hell, the thought that just kept running through my head was "What would Brokaw do?"

Posted by: Kasper Hauser at February 07, 2015 09:11 PM (mJBky)

387 I knew from watching Final Destination that if death misses you he'll be back for another bite at the apple. I haven't ridden in a chopper since.

Posted by: Baron Von Ottomatic at February 07, 2015 09:11 PM (ufrZ6)

388 "I heard the radio chatter about ground fire at choppers. I honestly had no idea if they were talking about *our* flight and I guess I was too embarrassed to ask. All I could think was, these boys have a job to do, and damned if I'm going to slow them down..."

Posted by: Shoutingboy at February 07, 2015 09:12 PM (37FSL)

389 345 
New Game. What do you think Brian Williams Call Sign was?

========
Choad Licker 2 9er

Posted by: fastfreefall at February 07, 2015 09:12 PM (pqOzY)

390 I haven't ridden in a chopper since.


Posted by: Baron Von Ottomatic at February 07, 2015 09:11 PM (ufrZ6)

I am nothing but a Gold Wing guy now. They are sooo comfortable.

Posted by: Brian, smug MFer, Williams at February 07, 2015 09:13 PM (0FSuD)

391 Brian Williams Call Sign?

Gilded Peacock

Posted by: My Sisters' Brother at February 07, 2015 09:13 PM (sVz2O)

392 That whole scene, Iraq? I bent it over and made it mine, Dave.

...Every Goddamn Day

Posted by: ColdBeer1 (Slap) (T) at February 07, 2015 09:13 PM (16bOT)

393 Yannow, if dude wanted to be badass, and I mean really wanted it, all he had to do was experience some of the training that the eggbeater crews go through, and then be assigned to a combat unit. Extra points for insisting he be treated no differently than any other soldier with a particular task to do.

That would have been exceptionally badass amongst his colleagues, and reasonably impressive to everyone else. Even if he never heard the report of small arms fire, no lies abut badassitude necessary.

Posted by: Bill H at February 07, 2015 09:13 PM (3sZO1)

394
Don't Fart Now

Posted by: wth at February 07, 2015 09:13 PM (wAQA5)

395 Callsign: Snipehunter

Posted by: AmishDude at February 07, 2015 09:13 PM (b4b5c)

396 I'll be sequestering myself at my home in the Hamptons. It's off season, so I'll have no support group.

Please pray for me, to whatever god you pray to: Allah, Gaia, the Worm People, the Clothing Optional Crowd (dear lord, they ruin the Hamptons in the summer), the Aliens, and you crazy Christianests, whatever).

Posted by: Jane D'oh at February 07, 2015 09:13 PM (FsuaD)

397 We were feet dry, Dave, and now the heat was on. You know what "feet dry" means, don't you Dave?

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at February 07, 2015 09:13 PM (ZbCKc)

398 Callsign: Sphinctersayswhat

Posted by: AmishDude at February 07, 2015 09:14 PM (b4b5c)

399 Steve called. Told me just to buy Andre Champagne. It's cheap and it's going to taste like shit anyway.

Posted by: Brian, smug MFer, Williams at February 07, 2015 09:14 PM (0FSuD)

400
My call sign was assigned to me by Howie Carr, and it's Liveshot!

Posted by: John F'n Kerry at February 07, 2015 09:14 PM (P330y)

401 Recon patrols are tough enough, but when the mission is 70 clicks behind enemy lines, well...

Posted by: fluffy at February 07, 2015 09:15 PM (Ua6T/)

402 Posted by: shredded chi at February 07, 2015 09:06 PM (WoOWE)

We are often told how much better the world would be with the wymens in charge.

Here is a first look.

Posted by: Brian Williams at February 07, 2015 09:15 PM (WNERA)

403 Lizzy,
i feel physically sick just reading what I did, and I couldn't read her entire original article, because I had to "like" the website to get past the first couple paragraphs.

And friends look at me strange when I say "I hate people."

Posted by: shredded chi at February 07, 2015 09:15 PM (WoOWE)

404 Callsign: Liability

Posted by: AmishDude at February 07, 2015 09:15 PM (b4b5c)

405
New Game. What do you think Brian Williams Call Sign was?

Rimshot

Posted by: Hello, I'm Math... and I am one heartless bitch(TM) at February 07, 2015 09:16 PM (bWFHa)

406 Shart 6 Actual

Posted by: OG CELTIC-AMERICAN at February 07, 2015 09:16 PM (dVAfd)

407 I was given a cool, badass handle... "that guy".

Posted by: otho at February 07, 2015 09:17 PM (tBSrv)

408 Gelded Peacock

FIFY

Posted by: Baron Von Ottomatic at February 07, 2015 09:17 PM (ufrZ6)

409 Call sign: Balderdash

Posted by: Garrett at February 07, 2015 09:17 PM (7o6GQ)

410 Call Sign: High Horse

Posted by: goatexchange at February 07, 2015 09:17 PM (C+vOU)

411
Cheek To Cheek

Posted by: wth at February 07, 2015 09:17 PM (wAQA5)

412 >>> Shart 6 Actual
Posted by: OG CELTIC-AMERICAN

...

hey real question, when they do that kind of call-sign, what does "actual" mean? Is that "alpha" or what?

Posted by: ace at February 07, 2015 09:18 PM (E+pqw)

413
The Chinook crew-chief called me Pussy Willow, and I was honored to be thought of so highly by one of America's best.

Posted by: Brian Williams at February 07, 2015 09:18 PM (P330y)

414 Callsign: Ballast

Posted by: AmishDude at February 07, 2015 09:18 PM (b4b5c)

415 Ace - I see you're here.

go check that story out, then expose this scrunt and the feminist movement for what it is - I can't have fun with the BW jokes after reading that.

Posted by: shredded chi at February 07, 2015 09:19 PM (WoOWE)

416 Call sign: Talking Head.

Posted by: Jay Guevara at February 07, 2015 09:19 PM (oKE6c)

417 Actual means its actually you and not your commo dude radio guy etc doing the talking for you.

Posted by: OG CELTIC-AMERICAN at February 07, 2015 09:19 PM (dVAfd)

418 'Actual' means the commander of whatever group callsign (squadron, patrol, whatever). So you might have Snodgrass 1-3, Snodgrass 1-4, etc. and the boss would be "Snodgrass Actual."

Posted by: goatexchange at February 07, 2015 09:20 PM (C+vOU)

419 Call sign: Jaw-Jaw

Posted by: Lizzy at February 07, 2015 09:21 PM (WvpaS)

420 Actual means its actually you and not your commo dude radio guy etc doing the talking for you.

Posted by: OG CELTIC-AMERICAN at February 07, 2015 09:19 PM

Oh, ok. So it's kind of like using "battery lead"?

Posted by: otho at February 07, 2015 09:21 PM (tBSrv)

421 Don't Squeak

Posted by: wth at February 07, 2015 09:21 PM (wAQA5)

422 >>>Actual means its actually you and not your commo dude radio guy etc doing the talking for you.

ahhhhhhhhHHHHHHHH!!!!

so much sense!

Posted by: ace at February 07, 2015 09:23 PM (E+pqw)

423 I would destest being Brian this week .ace and You commenter's go for the throat, maybe balls too, but as I sit here keeping my head down and find myself struggling to not give as good as you guys. Perhaps i can.


(btw jane d'oh you have me laughing my rear off)

Posted by: willow at February 07, 2015 09:23 PM (nqBYe)

424 Heh

Posted by: Jane D'oh at February 07, 2015 09:23 PM (FsuaD)

425 So, who won the Game?

Posted by: Garrett at February 07, 2015 09:25 PM (7o6GQ)

426 jane did

Posted by: willow at February 07, 2015 09:25 PM (nqBYe)

427 >>hey real question, when they do that kind of call-sign, what does "actual" mean? Is that "alpha" or what?

Pff. Civilian.

Posted by: Brian Williams at February 07, 2015 09:26 PM (g1DWB)

428 so much sense!

Posted by: ace at February 07, 2015 09:23 PM (E+pqw)



Know what else makes sense, chief? Getting your bird the fuck down to the deck with the shit starts coming up at you.

Posted by: BCochran1981 - Credible Hulk at February 07, 2015 09:26 PM (GEICT)

429 >>(btw jane d'oh you have me laughing my rear off)
>>
>> Posted by: willow at February 07, 2015 09:23 PM (nqBYe)

Never laugh your rear off. Rears are for being eaten on camera while daddy watches. Don't you people know what family is all about??

Posted by: Brian Williams, Professional Hero at February 07, 2015 09:27 PM (MYSVz)

430 Dave, I looked at the rough hands of the men on the chopper around me and worried I would be the only one who died with a manicure.

Posted by: Baron Von Ottomatic at February 07, 2015 09:27 PM (ufrZ6)

431 415,

Heya chi...

Don't blame you. Sick shit.

Posted by: SMFH at it all at February 07, 2015 09:27 PM (OsWis)

432 Call sign?



Little Daughter tongued.

Posted by: Brian, smug MFer, Williams at February 07, 2015 09:28 PM (0FSuD)

433 I'm here to amuse you. In spite of my flashbacks to changing D'oh Boy's diapers.

Jeebus. I'm scarred.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at February 07, 2015 09:28 PM (FsuaD)

434 I know we've overdone crazy feminist stories almost as much as Brian Williams jokes but . . .

http://tinyurl.com/o2mnj4o

Posted by: The Great White Snark at February 07, 2015 09:29 PM (LImiJ)

435 Brian, i'm not really into knowing what my daughter does .\

in fact she is a perfect angel, a stork brought the children and that's how my thoughts work with my kids.

they also know there was noo way i ever did the dirty .
ever.

Posted by: willow at February 07, 2015 09:29 PM (nqBYe)

436 Call sign: Tossed Salad

Posted by: ManWithNoParty, unperson from Free Market Jesus Paradise at February 07, 2015 09:30 PM (z2f1n)

437 434 I know we've overdone crazy feminist stories almost as much as Brian Williams jokes but . . .
http://tinyurl.com/o2mnj4o


Do you get any whiff of troll/hoax off of this? It feels a little like something constructed to go viral.

Posted by: Splunge at February 07, 2015 09:30 PM (qyomX)

438 Call sign: Starfish Smoocher

Posted by: Jay Guevara at February 07, 2015 09:30 PM (oKE6c)

439 My understanding is that the mission BW's helo flight was supporting was named, Operation Analingus Offspring.

Posted by: goatexchange at February 07, 2015 09:31 PM (C+vOU)

440 You know it's probably "I am Fcuked"




When you lose that hot red head Irish slut, Dowd, at the NY Slime, thing are not looking up.

Posted by: Brian, smug MFer, Williams at February 07, 2015 09:31 PM (0FSuD)

441 I' also scarred from years of selling Boy Scout popcorn.

We're a bunch of homophobic, God centric bunch of losers.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at February 07, 2015 09:31 PM (FsuaD)

442 Jane , the total nightmare of bringing the baby home and face meconium! I toughed it out.

Posted by: willow at February 07, 2015 09:31 PM (nqBYe)

443 Callsign: C'mon Icecream

Posted by: Cheech at February 07, 2015 09:32 PM (9UbUz)

444 437 434 I know we've overdone crazy feminist stories almost as much as Brian Williams jokes but . . .
http://tinyurl.com/o2mnj4o

Do you get any whiff of troll/hoax off of this? It feels a little like something constructed to go viral.

Posted by: Splunge at February 07, 2015 09:30 PM (qyomX)



I have a question: how did she get pregnant in the first place?

Posted by: Jay Guevara at February 07, 2015 09:32 PM (oKE6c)

445 >>>Know what else makes sense, chief? Getting your bird the fuck down to the deck with the shit starts coming up at you.

hah, funny you should say that.

because i was just thinking, last time I was in Beirut, and I'm 9-deep in this whore-slash-likely-spy when i feel the garrote slither steely around my neck and i think to myself, "God, do I love the troops."

Posted by: ace at February 07, 2015 09:32 PM (E+pqw)

446 Posted by: Splunge at February 07, 2015 09:30 PM (qyomX)

~~~~~~~

Yeah...the author is a feminist cartoon. Too perfect a target to hate. My BS sensor is pegged.

Posted by: Mr. Feverhead at February 07, 2015 09:32 PM (j1Wvr)

447 Jay,

Sounds like she joined the mile hi club.

Posted by: Bob from table9 at February 07, 2015 09:32 PM (WNERA)

448 I am proud to say that my callsign is Incest Fap. I don't know these words. What I do know is that they are a sign of deep respect.

Posted by: Brian Williams at February 07, 2015 09:33 PM (qyomX)

449 So, is "actual" a bullshit filter, or the CO's designation?

Posted by: otho at February 07, 2015 09:33 PM (tBSrv)

450 444,

That's what I was wondering.

The article goes into detail about getting into a shouting match with some guy on a plane.

Posted by: SMFH at it all at February 07, 2015 09:33 PM (OsWis)

451 I find it amusing and puzzling to hear radical feminists talk about them being pregnant.

Not that a guy wouldn't try but why would someone that radical, that nutso let someone so despised do that to them?

If I hated women to the degree some of these gals claim to be, I wouldn't stray within feet of any woman let alone try to have sex with her.

But then "Crazy" covers a lot of ground. And much of what they say they believe falls under that rubric.

Posted by: Bitter Clinger and All That at February 07, 2015 09:34 PM (RZzX3)

452 Call sign: Chocolate Moustache

Posted by: wth at February 07, 2015 09:34 PM (wAQA5)

453 ew

Posted by: willow at February 07, 2015 09:34 PM (nqBYe)

454 444 I have a question: how did she get pregnant in the first place?
Posted by: Jay Guevara at February 07, 2015 09:32 PM (oKE6c)


There is no picture, so your question might be really hard or really easy to answer.

Posted by: Splunge at February 07, 2015 09:35 PM (qyomX)

455 I have a question: how did she get pregnant in the first place?

The Patriarchy.

Posted by: toby928(C) at February 07, 2015 09:35 PM (rwI+c)

456 "So we dug, finally we hit stone and cleared away the sand until the edges were revealed. Prying the stone up, a smell like the degradation of a million souls blasted out at us, and it took all our strength to finish the task. At last, the stone was clear and we could barely see into the well. I dropped a torch and the flame revealed to us why the floor appeared to be moving. Snakes, Dave. Why did it have to be snakes?"

Posted by: SGT York at February 07, 2015 09:35 PM (IQP/f)

457 I was embedded with troops to see and report what they did and saw during the invasion of Iraq, and I lived through the same risks those troops took. I am glad I never had a Chinook shot down under me, never took a mortar barrage directly, but that was because the troops around me were protecting each other and I was just along for the ride.

They also went back to FOBs when rotated back, and I went to NY. Clean sheets were my guilty pleasure for a long time after that.

Posted by: Kindltot at February 07, 2015 09:35 PM (t//F+)

458 452,

It will be if he ever flies military again.

Posted by: SMFH at it all at February 07, 2015 09:35 PM (OsWis)

459 "Even today, I can still hear the rotors cleaving the air over Mesopotamia, and the feeling in my stomach when I glanced at the God bolt, every time a meditation on both the wonder that Sikorsky had made manifest and the slender, no, the absurd fragility that kept us aloft. We were a convoy of Chinooks in stately promenade over the sands that Hammurabi once trod.

Visions of ziggurats, frescoes of long-forgotten Sumerian deities, the eternal appeal of the saga of Gilgamesh, the real-life Lugal that inspired the first literary work to grace the Western canon, all of these flooded into my mind to crowd out the tension of the moment. I glanced at the men crowded round me amidst a forest of webbing, wondering what thoughts coursed through their heads. We all of us, I think, who set foot on the killing fields, find our way to cope, and I was amused that perhaps my momentary alarm at the plausibility of multiple lifting rotor aeronautics was a little fear that worked to blind me to the Great Fear that lurked beyond our armored hull. A trick, perhaps, that a mind long accustomed to danger had taught itself over a lengthy career, in so many places fraught with peril, from the mountains of Afghanistan to the floods of New Orleans.

We eventually landed, of course. Only then did I learn of the RPGs that had sliced through the atmosphere, how close we had come to being another relic of the desert sands, littered already with the remains of millennia. Our Chinook, twisted, smoking, a single blade perhaps still answering to the hot breath of the East, a feeble parody of that which it was crafted to do. But for a bit of luck, that could have been us. When we heard, I carefully eyed my cameraman. To have come that close - it's too much for some men, especially the first time. He was a good man, and I was worried that he might betray some outward sign that he would later regret, that would bring upon him the silent reproach of warriors. For his sake, I gave the signal that we should immediately return to base. He was a good man, and I think he understood and appreciated on some level, but he didn't speak of it. But then one doesn't. Ah, can you give me a moment here...."

Brian Williams, "We Were Junketed Once, And Folgers," The Oral History Project, Columbia School of Journalism, Tape 39.

Posted by: A. Pendragon at February 07, 2015 09:36 PM (wJliR)

460 447 Jay,

Sounds like she joined the mile hi club.

Posted by: Bob from table9 at February 07, 2015 09:32 PM (WNERA)



Her call sign: Turkey Baster One?

Posted by: Jay Guevara at February 07, 2015 09:36 PM (oKE6c)

461 The designation actual means the person speaking is the command position named.

"6" is used when the person speaking is the commander of the unit. As in Red Dog 6. The unit is code named Red Dog and 6 is the commander.

There are other number codes to indicate back at the base who is giving the orders being received or stating facts.

I think "5" is whoever is second in command.

Posted by: Bitter Clinger and All That at February 07, 2015 09:37 PM (RZzX3)

462 "Most days we wake up thinking 'this could never happen to us'...*long pause - near distance stare for 6sec*...*Clintonian pursed lips* But we made it, and in spite of all that, New Krypton is now safe from Darkseid."

Posted by: jk at February 07, 2015 09:37 PM (naN6T)

463 454 444 I have a question: how did she get pregnant in the first place?
Posted by: Jay Guevara at February 07, 2015 09:32 PM (oKE6c)

There is no picture, so your question might be really hard or really easy to answer.

Posted by: Splunge at February 07, 2015 09:35 PM (qyomX)




The point being, though, that the story makes her out to hate all things male, and yet she got pregnant. Does not compute.

Posted by: Jay Guevara at February 07, 2015 09:38 PM (oKE6c)

464 because i was just thinking, last time I was in Beirut, and I'm 9-deep in this whore-slash-likely-spy when i feel the garrote slither steely around my neck and i think to myself, "God, do I love the troops."

Posted by: ace at February 07, 2015 09:32 PM (E+pqw)



I get ya. I mean, there I was, stacking wet slippery naked Iraqiis in Abu Ghraib, suddenly I slip...next thing I know, I'm somehow on the bottom of the pile thinking "Well, ain't this something?"

The work those troops do is just awe inspiring.

Posted by: BCochran1981 - Credible Hulk at February 07, 2015 09:38 PM (GEICT)

465 7 is usually the company 1SG or Bn/Bde CSM

Posted by: SMFH at it all at February 07, 2015 09:38 PM (OsWis)

466 Actual is often applied to the head guy but it doesnt have to be.It just means you are talking to the actual guy not having the radio guy relay for you. As an example an element leader may call for Banger Actual when he wants to talk direct with the EOD guy, not have a message passed.

Posted by: OG CELTIC-AMERICAN at February 07, 2015 09:38 PM (dVAfd)

467 ACTUAL means its actually you and not your commo dude radio guy etc doing the talking for you.

Second that - I once drove a hummer with four fricken radios to monitor - do you think the actual wold be doing that?

Posted by: Williams at February 07, 2015 09:39 PM (NaeCR)

468 467,

heh...nope.

Posted by: SMFH at it all at February 07, 2015 09:39 PM (OsWis)

469 The reports of the lead Chinook group taking fire made me realize this was real and was more than just playing Dukes of Hazzard with million dollar equipment.

Posted by: Kindltot at February 07, 2015 09:39 PM (t//F+)

470 449 So, is "actual" a bullshit filter, or the CO's designation?

=====
In many units, the CO is always 6. E.g Death Dealer 6. The rto would be Death Dealer 65 or whatever 2nd number is sop to indicate the rto.

Posted by: fastfreefall at February 07, 2015 09:40 PM (pqOzY)

471 Ok. Now I'm confused. But, that doesn't take much.

Posted by: otho at February 07, 2015 09:40 PM (tBSrv)

472 Bloodstains no big deal. I'll just buy another shirt.

Posted by: Bob Belcher at February 07, 2015 09:41 PM (Xrson)

473 Evening, 'rons. Hope y'all are well?

Posted by: DangerGirl and her 1.21 gigawatt Sanity Prod (tm) at February 07, 2015 09:41 PM (KuU4f)

474 Well Dave, comrades-in-arms have a great sense of humor, they gave me the name 'Brylcreem'. You gotta love those guys, what a bunch of kidders.

Posted by: Brian Williams at February 07, 2015 09:41 PM (/GgDU)

475 Reporting from the shit, this is Brian Willams ... actual.

Posted by: Brian Williams at February 07, 2015 09:42 PM (g1DWB)

476 463 The point being, though, that the story makes her out to hate all things male, and yet she got pregnant. Does not compute.

I do get that, and I did, and it is a worthy point. But imagine, on the one hand, that she is a teetotaler who looks just like Andrea Dworkin. Imagine, on the other hand, that she is a tequila enthusiast who looks like that chick (well, any chick) in a Carl's Jr. ad. All I'm saying is knowing that was one or the other might be helpful in understanding what happened.

Posted by: Splunge at February 07, 2015 09:42 PM (qyomX)

477 Ace is going to go through some serious withdrawal when he doesn't have Brian Williams to kick around anymore.


Posted by: Grampa Jimbo at February 07, 2015 09:42 PM (V70Uh)

478 Bruce Jenner driving as a girl had a wreck today. Involved a death not his.

Posted by: Bob from table9 at February 07, 2015 09:43 PM (WNERA)

479 Ace is going to go through some serious withdrawal when he doesn't have Brian Williams to kick around anymore.


Posted by: Grampa Jimbo at February 07, 2015 09:42 PM (V70Uh)

******
Since ole, BW has already announced he is taking some time off, I guess this will mean Monday for Ace.

Posted by: ManWithNoParty, unperson from Free Market Jesus Paradise at February 07, 2015 09:44 PM (5kNXS)

480 You people think you know the military. Smart military blog, my skinny ass. You know what? I run the military. That's right, wingnuts, I give an order and they all jump. They fear me more than they fear the enemy. So who is the real hero here?

Posted by: Barack Obama at February 07, 2015 09:44 PM (qyomX)

481 Gun grabber Michael Bloomberg has a new idea: "Mike Bloomberg says government should work to disarm minority males under 25. Ku Klux Klan shouts YES!"

-
This ought to.go over well

Posted by: The Great White Snark at February 07, 2015 09:44 PM (LImiJ)

482 Gun grabber Michael Bloomberg has a new idea: "Mike Bloomberg says government should work to disarm minority males under 25. Ku Klux Klan shouts YES!"

-
This ought to.go over well

Posted by: The Great White Snark at February 07, 2015 09:44 PM (LImiJ)

483 How do I feel about it, Dave? How do I FEEL? I don't feel a giddamned thing. I just wish there had been more of those motherfuckers to kill.

Posted by: Warden at February 07, 2015 09:44 PM (bmp0d)

484 Well, I'm tired. 'Night ya'll.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at February 07, 2015 09:45 PM (FsuaD)

485 You are sitting in the worlds largest blender that is bucking you around in thermals while being the largest target in the sky....and it is leaking transmission fluid and stinking like raw av gas when everything is running right.

When reports of lead elements taking fire come in you suddenly realize that that life just got real and this has been the safe part.

Posted by: Kindltot at February 07, 2015 09:45 PM (t//F+)

486 >>463 The point being, though, that the story makes her out to hate all things male, and yet she got pregnant. Does not compute.

Look, even cray-cray feminists like Amanda Marcotte can settle down with men. Or, "men" - super-beta males who make pajama boy look macho.

Posted by: Lizzy at February 07, 2015 09:46 PM (WvpaS)

487 Try to disarm my son and his fellow vets at their school.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at February 07, 2015 09:46 PM (FsuaD)

488 485 You are sitting in the worlds largest blender that is bucking you around in thermals while being the largest target in the sky....and it is leaking transmission fluid and stinking like raw av gas when everything is running right.

When reports of lead elements taking fire come in you suddenly realize that that life just got real and this has been the safe part.
Posted by: Kindltot at February 07, 2015 09:45 PM (t//F+)


Space Mountain? I rode that too! I was supposed to be at some kind of meeting, but the hell with that.

Posted by: Barack Obama at February 07, 2015 09:47 PM (qyomX)

489 or maybe she got pregnant like a patient told her mother in front of me, she sat on a used condom...

Posted by: OG CELTIC-AMERICAN at February 07, 2015 09:47 PM (dVAfd)

490 It depends on what your definition of 'is' is.

Posted by: Bill from Chappaqua at February 07, 2015 09:48 PM (kFxpe)

491 I did not have sex, with that woman, Ms. Lewinsky... BJ's don't count, right?

Posted by: Bill from Chappaqua at February 07, 2015 09:49 PM (kFxpe)

492 or maybe she got pregnant like a patient told her mother in front of me, she sat on a used condom...
=====
Is the old "pregnant after swimming in the pool" still out of fashion?

Posted by: fastfreefall at February 07, 2015 09:49 PM (pqOzY)

493 The poodle was out of control but now I know the SWAT team will go home to their families

Posted by: Navycopjoe (thugging through the doghouse) at February 07, 2015 09:49 PM (IUFR3)

494 489 or maybe she got pregnant like a patient told her mother in front of me, she sat on a used condom...
Posted by: OG CELTIC-AMERICAN at February 07, 2015 09:47 PM (dVAfd)


Laugh it up, Druid. I suppose your apartment has places to sit that aren't covered with those? Must be nice, 1%-er!

Posted by: Sandra Fluke at February 07, 2015 09:49 PM (qyomX)

495 My sinuses are in pain. Heading to bed.

'Night, all.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at February 07, 2015 09:49 PM (FsuaD)

496 One of the things you quickly learn from being next to these incredibly brave troops is that any moment in an active war-zone could be the last. These brave warriors that I am side by side with heroically face the knowledge that a missile or I.E.D. could take them all out before they ever knew what hit them.

Posted by: Brian Williams at February 07, 2015 09:49 PM (8zCR+)

497 Maybe the broad subscribes to Fen's Law and chooses what kind of balls she wants to show and when.

This was the biggest of War Cocks she could pull, so as to show her Womynz Credentials for all her new flannel-wearing, lumberjack Fellow Travelers.

Posted by: ColdBeer1 (Slap) (T) at February 07, 2015 09:49 PM (16bOT)

498 >>> she sat on a used condom

Haven't we all done that a few times?

Posted by: Anderson Cooper at February 07, 2015 09:50 PM (Ua6T/)

499 you know I haven't heard pregnant from swimming in the pool ever.

Posted by: OG CELTIC-AMERICAN at February 07, 2015 09:50 PM (dVAfd)

500 Bruce Jenner driving as a girl had a wreck today. Involved a death not his.

"Drive like a girl." How do you think that makes Bruce feel?

Posted by: Super Bowl Admonishments at February 07, 2015 09:51 PM (FcR7P)

501 Here's another feminist abortion activist who has a male life partner (no idea if ever married) telling her abortion story - and wonder what kind of man puts up with this, a woman who so proudly kills his children.

http://www.nytimes.com/2004/07/18/magazine/18LIVES.html

Posted by: Lizzy at February 07, 2015 09:51 PM (WvpaS)

502 I used to go by Blaster 5, or 6 when my boss was out.

Posted by: blaster at February 07, 2015 09:51 PM (Rx8ML)

503 Keep in mind that the Commander of a unit. (be it corporal or Colonel) doesn't operate the commo gear. They have a guy who totes it around and dials in the freqs and makes the initial contact.

When the RTO does talk to other units they identify themself so that the receiving unit knows who they are dealing with and their command authority

a) it's them initiating the call on their own they have a code for themselves
b) If they're speaking for the commander, they'll say "6"
c) if the commander themselves has got on the horn and is speaking they will say "6 Actual"
d) others in the command group will have codes also to designate who they are and their command authority. They will usually relay their orders or requests through the RTO but sometimes they get on the horn themselves. To force through the request perhaps or make it clear that they're giving an order and that it's not being relayed through someone else.

ex

Co; Call some artie in on that hill
RTO: this is Red Dog 6 requesting HE on the following coords

OR

Co; Give me the mike
Co: This is Red Dog 6 Actual requesting HE on hill 327 immediate

The first request might get put into a queue to be answered when its turn comes as other requests may have come in before it.

The second request may get precedence over other calls as this is a command order depending on who's called in the other orders.

Posted by: Bitter Clinger and All That at February 07, 2015 09:53 PM (RZzX3)

504 yeah, what he said.

Posted by: OG CELTIC-AMERICAN at February 07, 2015 09:54 PM (dVAfd)

505 Posted by: Bitter Clinger and All That at February 07, 2015 09:37 PM (RZzX3)

~~~

The call signs indicate the bumper number of the vehicle. With 6 being the commander's vehicle. So call signs actually indicate the radio station. Actual means you are talking to the actual person...

During the cold war you'd take the call sign from the Communication Electronics Operating Instructions (CEOI) and it would consist of an otherwise random sounding letter number combination that would change on a time schedule or if the radio net were compromised. Something like T5U33Y for the Company Commander's Driver.

That was the way it was when I flew my glider over Leningrad but they made an exception and just called me Snake.

Posted by: Brian Williams at February 07, 2015 09:54 PM (j1Wvr)

506 "... instead of the sort of cool badass 'A little bit of danger comes with the paycheck, you know' answer that 1) would sound badass and 2) would not be a lie."

Listen, buddy: I spell my name, PAYCHECK.

Posted by: Nick Paycheck, Third Journalist at February 07, 2015 09:55 PM (noWW6)

507 Call sign: Cupcake

Posted by: Brian Williams at February 07, 2015 09:55 PM (MQEz6)

508 Wow one of my childhood heroes nervous breakdown has a fucking bodycount now...

If you'd told me in 1999 I'd hate the 21st century with a passion I'd have laughed at you...

I laughed a lot back then...

Posted by: Sven S Blade a.k.a. El Assassin@sven10077 at February 07, 2015 09:55 PM (/4AZU)

509 Fear sweat smells different than normal sweat, Dave, and later that night the mustachioed whore I was with told me she knew its lingering pungency all too well.

Posted by: Baron Von Ottomatic at February 07, 2015 09:55 PM (ufrZ6)

510 Others in accident: Ho We Fuk, Bang Ow Ting, We Tu Wo.

Posted by: Bruce Jenner at February 07, 2015 09:56 PM (gwG9s)

511 Daddy is about to be fired. Let's clap harder, children.

Posted by: Peter Pan Allison Williams at February 07, 2015 09:56 PM (BKaug)

512 500 Posted by: Super Bowl Admonishments at February 07, 2015 09:51 PM (FcR7P)

The coward doesn't have a twitter account b/c THAT would have been landed on him....

"ActLikeAgirl Bruce...

Damn it I hate this epoch.

Posted by: Sven S Blade a.k.a. El Assassin@sven10077 at February 07, 2015 09:56 PM (/4AZU)

513 For the record, it is my call. It has been a hell of a war.

Posted by: Brian Williams at February 07, 2015 09:57 PM (j1Wvr)

514 shit. If Jenner goes to the slammer for the car accident thing will have to pay for his vagina.

Posted by: OG CELTIC-AMERICAN at February 07, 2015 09:57 PM (dVAfd)

515 For the record, Colonel Kilgore Williams loves the smell of napalm in the morning

Posted by: TheQuietMan at February 07, 2015 09:58 PM (3UGBQ)

516 Speaking of badass...

Posted by: Allison Williams at February 07, 2015 09:58 PM (BKaug)

517 501,

Simple. Whatever impregnated the bint wasn't a man.

Posted by: SMFH at it all at February 07, 2015 09:58 PM (OsWis)

518 Just saw a story called "people really do snort chocolate."

People really do all sorts of horrid crap you shouldn't put in an article. Shut up.

Posted by: Splunge at February 07, 2015 09:59 PM (qyomX)

519 How's my ass taste?

Posted by: Allison Williams at February 07, 2015 09:59 PM (BKaug)

520 CALL SIGN: Barrel Duty

Posted by: weft cut-loop at February 07, 2015 09:59 PM (DMJw2)

521 504 yeah, what he said.

Posted by: OG CELTIC-AMERICAN at February 07, 2015 09:54 PM (dVAfd)
--------------------------------

lol - roger that, OG

Posted by: goatexchange at February 07, 2015 09:59 PM (nnJrI)

522 Speaking of lies, Venezuela has seized a supermarket chain because the promised socialist utopia has gone off the rails.

http://www.bbc.com/news/world-latin-america-31178692

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at February 07, 2015 09:59 PM (1JDCL)

523 " This is Brian Williams, callsign Beta Starfish, signing off..."

Posted by: OG CELTIC-AMERICAN at February 07, 2015 10:00 PM (dVAfd)

524 I was there.
But I'll no longer be there in my anchor chair.

Posted by: Zelig Gump Williams at February 07, 2015 10:00 PM (BKaug)

525 Posted by: Bitter Clinger and All That at February 07, 2015 09:53 PM

Ok, yeah. I got that part of it. So, it's not used at all to thwart enemy disinfo, etc? They'd pick up on that pretty quick, I should imagine so it wouldn't have much of a shelf life for that purpose. I can't remember much of that shit, so be patient, ok?

Posted by: otho at February 07, 2015 10:01 PM (tBSrv)

526 I can't remember whose combat humblebrag it was, but I recall someone describing having been absolutely bone dead tired, and woken up from sleep by loud noise nearby, and saying, "WTF was that?" and being told it was the impact of one of the Russian rocket artillery systems * that kills everything in a 1km x 1km grid square, and saying, "Oh," and rolling over and going back to sleep.

* The Russians have several different versions of these, because Russians.

Posted by: torquewrench at February 07, 2015 10:01 PM (noWW6)

527 There was just a Valentine Day from Zales on in which an attractive Asian woman tells you to buy the "Severe Wang Collection" at Zales.

Posted by: The Great White Snark at February 07, 2015 10:01 PM (LImiJ)

528 522 Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at February 07, 2015 09:59 PM (1JDCL)

Thank GOD we are importing more of these charming South and Central Americans my friend....

can't wait until the donut shops here are nationalized.... "for el people"

Posted by: Sven S Blade a.k.a. El Assassin@sven10077 at February 07, 2015 10:01 PM (/4AZU)

529 There was just a Valentine Day from Zales on in which an attractive Asian woman tells you to buy the "Severe Wang Collection" at Zales.
Posted by: The Great White Snark


The chick is Vera Wang, so you probably misheard.

Posted by: weft cut-loop at February 07, 2015 10:03 PM (DMJw2)

530 How the eff could you watch Battlestar Galactica and ** not ** not know what "actual" mean when used in radio traffic.

Jesus you people are somewhat oblivious
.

Posted by: BumperStickerist at February 07, 2015 10:03 PM (IDj42)

531 500 "Drive like a girl." How do you think that makes Bruce feel?

As though he had finally arrived at his true home, after a long, long journey. Apparently.

Posted by: Splunge at February 07, 2015 10:04 PM (qyomX)

532 530 Posted by: BumperStickerist at February 07, 2015 10:03 PM (IDj42)

Eh byproduct of a non draft military....

a lot of folk don't know simple jargon.

Posted by: Sven S Blade a.k.a. El Assassin@sven10077 at February 07, 2015 10:04 PM (/4AZU)

533 There we were hunkered down from the incoming and I'm trying to remember the number they gave me back at the start of the mission. Was it tu553y or tu533y. Meanwhile the rto is down and I think the prick 77 has taken a hit and is barely working.

I'm calling for a dustoff. To hell with what the 6 says.

Posted by: Bitter Clinger and All That at February 07, 2015 10:04 PM (RZzX3)

534 Yeah. What he said.

Posted by: Edward James Olmos, Actual at February 07, 2015 10:04 PM (IDj42)

535 Weft Cut-Loop, boner killer.

Posted by: OG CELTIC-AMERICAN at February 07, 2015 10:04 PM (dVAfd)

536 The chick is Vera Wang, so you probably misheard.

-
Well that's a disappointment.

Posted by: The Great White Snark at February 07, 2015 10:04 PM (LImiJ)

537 Yeah they not Five By on the R T.

They took screenwriting in college.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at February 07, 2015 10:05 PM (1JDCL)

538 My mom like to tell this story.

My grandfather was a physician. He saw young man and told him that he had a venereal disease. The young man states that he must have gotten at a public restroom. My grandfather replies:

That's a funny place to take a woman.


Posted by: Grampa Jimbo at February 07, 2015 10:05 PM (V70Uh)

539 Jargon is used when information sequestration for the purposes of power gathering and elite separation from the mundane is being pursued.

OR

It makes it clearer as to WTF is going on.

Posted by: Bitter Clinger and All That at February 07, 2015 10:06 PM (RZzX3)

540 There was just a Valentine Day from Zales on in
which an attractive Asian woman tells you to buy the "Severe Wang
Collection" at Zales.

Posted by: The Great White Snark at February 07, 2015 10:01 PM (LImiJ)


Seriously?

Posted by: Yu Kid Ung at February 07, 2015 10:06 PM (8zCR+)

541 When I was in New York, "watch your six" was all about pickpockets. It wasn't about a Hajji whirling a sword, wanting to add the prettiest head in Iraq to his trophy case.

Posted by: Brian Williams at February 07, 2015 10:06 PM (qyomX)

542 If you want a billion reasons to pray for SMOD; TLC has Sex Sent Me to the ER and ID now has Sex Sent Me to the Slammer.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at February 07, 2015 10:07 PM (1JDCL)

543 I am proud to say I didn't get the 'Severe Wang Collection' joke.

Posted by: goatexchange at February 07, 2015 10:07 PM (nnJrI)

544 537 Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at February 07, 2015 10:05 PM (1JDCL)

I guess "Husker" is not a distinctive enough voice so he has to reiterate over and over...

"No really *I* am Bill Adama...no not dad's FIRST William Adama..."

I think my other fave was Starbuck-Super Soldier....

WHATEVER the plot called for Kara Thrace was the ABSOLUTE best at it....

sniper, pilot, scout....baker...

she was your man.

Posted by: Sven S Blade a.k.a. El Assassin@sven10077 at February 07, 2015 10:08 PM (/4AZU)

545 543 I am proud to say I didn't get the 'Severe Wang Collection' joke.
Posted by: goatexchange


They're all severe. I will have more to say about that when the Tourette's kicks in.

Posted by: Amanda Marcotte at February 07, 2015 10:08 PM (qyomX)

546 Just as well I didn't do sigs. Would have fucked that shit up, for sure.

Posted by: otho at February 07, 2015 10:08 PM (tBSrv)

547
I'm a nurse, so I can truthfully say that I have seen some shit you wouldn't believe.





The worst was a patient dying from colon cancer. Oh lord the odor.

Posted by: Darth Randall at February 07, 2015 10:08 PM (KlVdw)

548 Weft Cut-Loop, boner killer.
Posted by: OG CELTIC-AMERICAN


Hey, I'd do her.

Posted by: weft cut-loop at February 07, 2015 10:09 PM (DMJw2)

549 It seems like I didn't even know who's side I was on anymore. All I could do was wait for the call. It wasn't that I was afraid of a deadly mission; more that I was afraid of eventually failing one. They'd only let that happen once!

-Every 10 year old after getting their first cell phone.

Posted by: cortezoid at February 07, 2015 10:09 PM (8iG0+)

550 522 Speaking of lies, Venezuela has seized a supermarket chain because the promised socialist utopia has gone off the rails.

http://www.bbc.com/news/world-latin-america-31178692
Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at February 07, 2015 09:59 PM (1JDCL)


But of course.

"Speaking on television, he accused Dia a Dia of hoarding food during huge shortages in the country."

Preppers, take note: When the economy tanks, you will be branded as criminals for "hoarding" and the government will come to confiscate your supplies. Bank on it. It's Communism 101.

Posted by: rickl at February 07, 2015 10:09 PM (sdi6R)

551 The supermarket takeover is just another positive step in fixing the broken economy of Venezuela.

Posted by: Sean Penn at February 07, 2015 10:10 PM (j1Wvr)

552 547 The worst was a patient dying from colon cancer. Oh lord the odor.

Please tell me you're lying. I need you to be lying about this.

Posted by: Splunge at February 07, 2015 10:10 PM (qyomX)

553 >>There was just a Valentine Day from Zales on in
which an attractive Asian woman tells you to buy the "Severe Wang

Collection"...

What's funny is that Vera Wang was raised in NYC and talks like a non-upper crusty local - you would have no idea she's Chinese if you just heard her voice.

Posted by: Lizzy at February 07, 2015 10:10 PM (WvpaS)

554 Yeah of the new Battlestar Galactica, the episode where Adama and Caine were sending assassins against each other was a low point. And the President could have stopped it by ordering Caine to stand down or be relieved.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at February 07, 2015 10:10 PM (1JDCL)

555 550 Posted by: rickl at February 07, 2015 10:09 PM (sdi6R)

It's why you distribute you supplies in caches....

and probably if Amigo Grande! passes think about hiring the newly out of work shoemakers and having a burner id or three...

"Go donkey"

Posted by: Sven S Blade a.k.a. El Assassin@sven10077 at February 07, 2015 10:11 PM (/4AZU)

556 The thing about Marxist economies is that they are so predictable. It's boring, to walk through those steps for the 50th time.

Posted by: Splunge at February 07, 2015 10:12 PM (qyomX)

557 Venezuela; still not getting it about free markets, law of supply and demand, command economies, THE FREAKING RUSSIANS TRIED FOR 80 YEARS TO MAKE IT WORK AND THEY FAILED!!!!!!!

Posted by: Bitter Clinger and All That at February 07, 2015 10:12 PM (RZzX3)

558
Please tell me you're lying. I need you to be lying about this.Posted by: Splunge at February 07, 2015 10:10 PM (qyomX)

---------------
*crosses fingers*
You got me, I'm lying.

Posted by: Darth Randall at February 07, 2015 10:13 PM (KlVdw)

559 557 THE FREAKING RUSSIANS TRIED FOR 80 YEARS TO MAKE IT WORK AND THEY FAILED!!!!!!!

So did the Chinese. So they've opted for a kind of capitalism, to unleash the energy and talents of their incredibly entrepreneurial population, plus dictatorship, meaning no casting anyone out of power. Jury's still out on that one.

Posted by: Splunge at February 07, 2015 10:14 PM (qyomX)

560 Speaking on television, he accused Dia a Dia of hoarding food during huge shortages in the country

See, I can say that with a straight face. That's why they'll be begging me to come back.

Posted by: Brian Williams at February 07, 2015 10:14 PM (FcR7P)

561 There's an eerie silence, Dave, when nobody is saying a word and you're all sort of looking at each other without really looking. The radio chatter is deafening as it cuts through the quiet. Then it sinks in you're gonna make it and you've still got a job to do.

Posted by: Baron Von Ottomatic at February 07, 2015 10:15 PM (ufrZ6)

562 558 *crosses fingers*
You got me, I'm lying.
Posted by: Darth Randall


*Thank* you.

Posted by: Splunge at February 07, 2015 10:15 PM (qyomX)

563
Yeah of the new Battlestar Galactica, the episode where Adama and Caine were sending assassins against each other was a low point. And the President could have stopped it by ordering Caine to stand down or be relieved.
Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at February 07, 2015 10:10 PM (1JDCL)

----------------
I thought the first 2 seasons were epically good, then it just sort of fell apart.

Posted by: Darth Randall at February 07, 2015 10:15 PM (KlVdw)

564 The thing about Marxist economies is that they are so predictable. It's boring, to walk through those steps for the 50th time.
Posted by: Splunge


Every generation should learn the lessons of the previous ones but they rarely do. We in the US have had a bit of a 'holiday from history' for a rare, unusually long time. Which is why I'm not as optimistic as others in regards to our future.

You can only tease the universe for so long.

Posted by: weft cut-loop at February 07, 2015 10:15 PM (DMJw2)

565 "Preppers, take note: When the economy tanks, you will be branded as criminals for 'hoarding' and the government will come to confiscate your supplies. Bank on it. It's Communism 101."

Kulaks. Wreckers. Saboteurs. Running dogs. Capitalist-roaders.

Posted by: torquewrench at February 07, 2015 10:16 PM (noWW6)

566 Venezuela; still not getting it about free markets, law of supply and demand, command economies, THE FREAKING RUSSIANS TRIED FOR 80 YEARS TO MAKE IT WORK AND THEY FAILED!!!!!!!
Posted by: Bitter Clinger and All That at February 07, 2015 10:12 PM

*****

Sure they get it. You see, those in charge simply don't care. They need to keep stealing companies so that they have someone to blame for the outcomes of greed of the Rulers. It's really quite simple.

Posted by: ManWithNoParty, unperson from Free Market Jesus Paradise at February 07, 2015 10:16 PM (5kNXS)

567 Actually, if you're part of the gang of ruling thugs, Communism works just fine. You get to control the wealth of the whole country and use it as you see fit.

Posted by: rickl at February 07, 2015 10:16 PM (sdi6R)

568 542
If you want a billion reasons to pray for SMOD; TLC has Sex Sent Me to the ER and ID now has Sex Sent Me to the Slammer.


Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at February 07, 2015 10:07 PM (1JDCL)

And if you just want to kill yourself now, I think it was TLC that had a "Let's talk about sex" or something like that with 4 women including.....
....wait for it....
....including....
Yes, Margaret Cho!!

Posted by: Stateless Infidel at February 07, 2015 10:17 PM (AC0lD)

569 Although Venezuela has been boned for a lot of other reasons over the years. (my cousin Nils was killed in Caracas during riots there in '53 aged 7)

They ONCE had a going economy. They actually exported stuff to other 3rd world shitholes worse off than them. (if you can believe that).

Now, like Zimbabwe and other, they are broke, they have nothing and are losing ground every day. Until they rid themselves of tyrants and strong men and stop thinking they can have everything for free they continue to be worse than a 3rd world shithole.

Cripes, even Cuba is better off than they are. (well sorta but that's because no one has any fight left in 'em in Cuba).

Posted by: Bitter Clinger and All That at February 07, 2015 10:17 PM (RZzX3)

570 564 Every generation should learn the lessons of the previous ones but they rarely do. We in the US have had a bit of a 'holiday from history' for a rare, unusually long time. Which is why I'm not as optimistic as others in regards to our future.

You can only tease the universe for so long.
Posted by: weft cut-loop


It is a point. But there is ample precedent for the idea that civilization can defeat utter barbarians, once it takes up the sword. So I'm cautiously optimistic.

Posted by: Splunge at February 07, 2015 10:17 PM (qyomX)

571
It was very dark and the wind was whipping, and there I was face to face with what could have been a big bear. All I could do is like they recommend, make myself as big as possible and don't run.

Posted by: Guy Mohawk at February 07, 2015 10:18 PM (ODxAs)

572 My call sign back in Iraq?

ID - ten - T

Not sure what it means but I'm sure it is profound.

Posted by: Brian Williams at February 07, 2015 10:18 PM (j1Wvr)

573 Some men would call it brave to wave an American Flag in downtown Tehran; others would call it foolish. I just call it "being free."

Posted by: Boone at February 07, 2015 10:19 PM (bLfK+)

574 I never like even the the mini-series of Battlestar Galactica reboot.

Why? The Cylons were created by humans. In order to make the series an allegory of our times, they jettisoned even the concept of alien life which the original series embraced by admitting something each human tribe knows - there is another tribe out there who wants your stuff.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at February 07, 2015 10:19 PM (1JDCL)

575 ONT up...

Posted by: speedster1 on the (new) ipad at February 07, 2015 10:19 PM (1brdf)

576 And if you just want to kill yourself now, I think it was TLC that had a "Let's talk about sex" or something like that with 4 women including.....
....wait for it....
....including....
Yes, Margaret Cho!!
Posted by: Stateless Infidel


Well, sex is like the weather. Everybody talks about it, but nobody does anything about it.

But I did. Heh.

Posted by: Bruce Jenner, huh? at February 07, 2015 10:19 PM (+1T7c)

577 563 Posted by: Darth Randall at February 07, 2015 10:15 PM (KlVdw)

It was an EXCELLENT show right up until Moore decided he had to flip off 1/2 his audience weekly rather than you know tell the story of the Colonials v Cylons...

bonus points for his weekly moral gymnastics at casting the colonials as worse people than the genocidal fucks who incinerated ~ 12 billion people and were engaging in Mengelian "medical" experiments....

Posted by: Sven S Blade a.k.a. El Assassin@sven10077 at February 07, 2015 10:20 PM (/4AZU)

578 Once I had a problem with my laptop, and a Staff Sergeant told me something that has stuck in my memory. "PEBCAK," he said. "PEBCAK." I've thought about it a lot. It's one of the things I brought back with me.

Posted by: Brian Williams at February 07, 2015 10:20 PM (qyomX)

579 Posted by: Bitter Clinger and All That at February 07, 2015 10:04 PM (RZzX3)

~

I hear you Licken' Chickin'. Hotel Mike?

Posted by: Brian Williams at February 07, 2015 10:21 PM (j1Wvr)

580 574 Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at February 07, 2015 10:19 PM (1JDCL)

Quite, I could have even tolerated the "human" cylons as taking the place of the rather rare IL model from TOS BSG but the notion that they were the main body?

"Yeah we hate you fragers so much we are going to be you"

Horsefuckery.

Posted by: Sven S Blade a.k.a. El Assassin@sven10077 at February 07, 2015 10:21 PM (/4AZU)

581 Posted by: rickl at February 07, 2015 10:16 PM (sdi6R)

That's true rickl, but this is something the elites never seem to think about: Commie elites have always depended on being able to access capitalist goods and services. The elites in the USSR had access to special stores and were permitted to take trips abroad where they could buy decent products (wasn't there some scandal with Gorbi's wife running amok with credit cards in NY in the '80's?) Castro got medical treatment in Spain.

When the entire world is Commie shit, where will the elites shop?

Posted by: Donna &&&&&& V. (brandishing ampersands) at February 07, 2015 10:22 PM (+XMAD)

582 "You can only tease the universe for so long."

Actually, as long as you want. Have at it. Knock yourself out.

You can tease us, too. We don't care. It won't change a thing. No matter what you do or say, no matter how long and how far you run, no matter how slowly we limp along, we always eventually catch up.

Posted by: The Gods Of The Copybook Headings at February 07, 2015 10:23 PM (noWW6)

583 BTW, just got to this thread and it's comedy gold.

The horde is so damn funny.

Posted by: Donna &&&&&& V. (brandishing ampersands) at February 07, 2015 10:23 PM (+XMAD)

584 Reading y-not`s thread about tax friendly States, I was tickled to confirm a prevalent attitude among the progs or know-nothings.

All of the top States are small sparsely populated and Florida taxes tourists and tourism.

As a proud Florida Cracker, I`m cool with that.

Posted by: rightlysouthern(aim low boys,they still in wagon ruts) at February 07, 2015 10:26 PM (dFNSA)

585 "(wasn't there some scandal with Gorbi's wife running amok with credit cards in NY in the '80's?)"

Daniel Ortega's wife, if memory serves.

"Castro got medical treatment in Spain."

What's funny is that Castro went to the non-Cuban doctors first, and lived, whereas Chavez went to the Cuban doctors first, and then later desperately consulted the non-Cuban doctors, and died.

But Cuban healthcare is free and awesome, says Michael Moore.

Posted by: torquewrench at February 07, 2015 10:26 PM (noWW6)

586 When we finally landed, I said to them, "You fellas go get breakfast, I've got a job to do".

Posted by: The Mega Independent at February 07, 2015 10:27 PM (QCo5R)

587 Listen, buddy: I spell my name, PAYCHECK.
Posted by: Nick Paycheck
-----------------------------------

Dollar.., Johnny Dollar. Private Dick.

Posted by: Yours Truly, Johnny Dollar at February 07, 2015 10:27 PM (/GgDU)

588 What can I say? We had a plan ....

Posted by: The Cylons at February 07, 2015 10:28 PM (IDj42)

589 BTW, just got to this thread and it's comedy gold.

The horde is so damn funny.
Posted by: Donna
---------------

Soon to be published as the blockbuster 'The Brian Chronicles'

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at February 07, 2015 10:30 PM (/GgDU)

590 I'm going on vacation to Phnom penh next week, and while you may be able to get away with recounting your experiences being forced to play Russian roulette in a Vietnamese prison camp to a bunch of hippies working for NGOs, you are better off recounting your "experiences in the shit" in Hue or Saigon in the Tet in the expat bars full of Europeans, none of them would know what combat was like going back 2 or 3 generations. Watch out for the Aussies though.

Now mind you, I'm not some poser, I had an actual draft number, and I had some good friends that did go. One that blew his brains out in KC in 77, another that was on disability after he had a dud mortar shatter his leg just south of the DMZ in 69.

Posted by: kazinski at February 07, 2015 10:31 PM (jT38O)

591 581
When the entire world is Commie shit, where will the elites shop?
Posted by: Donna &&&&&& V. (brandishing ampersands) at February 07, 2015 10:22 PM (+XMAD)


I don't know what their thought processes are. Maybe they haven't thought it through. Or maybe they're fine with going back to the Middle Ages, provided that they are the nobility.

Posted by: rickl at February 07, 2015 10:31 PM (sdi6R)

592 Why didn't you come to me like a fucking man and tell me that there was the ONT?

Posted by: torquewrench at February 07, 2015 10:35 PM (noWW6)

593 Posted by: Sven S Blade a.k.a. El Assassin@sven10077 at February 07, 2015 10:21 PM (/4AZU)

Starbuck as a female did it for me.

I refused to watch the series when I found that out.

THERE. WAS. NO. REASON. to do that. None. Zero. Nada.

They did just for PC giggles and shits. Because they could.

And they got away with it. I say the decline of America started then.

Posted by: Bitter Clinger and All That at February 07, 2015 10:36 PM (RZzX3)

594 Bad ass is what you want? Bad ass is what you get.
John Holmes ain't got NOTHING on me.

Posted by: Bea Arthur's Dick at February 07, 2015 10:38 PM (pldrX)

595 593 Bitter Clinger,

I forced myself to accept her in the mini series, but yeah...constant moonbat crank waving.

Posted by: sven10077 at February 07, 2015 10:42 PM (/4AZU)

596 "A Japanese sniper killed me in '44 after I had already established a stellar career as a war correspondent. But I gotta tell you, that Brian Williams? THAT is one badass motherfucker."

Posted by: Zombie Ernie Pyle at February 07, 2015 10:51 PM (3sZO1)

597 I like choppers. They're like birds.

Posted by: Gordie Jones at February 07, 2015 10:55 PM (yhjJ1)

598 Geraldo Rivera: "Brian you're the bravest combat reporter, I know."
Brian Williams: "No, you're the bravest combat reporter, Geraldo."
Geraldo & Brian: "Let's get a room!"

Posted by: YatYas at February 07, 2015 11:24 PM (umDR7)

599 The gunner gave me a bemused look as he uncoiled the M60 belt from around my neck. "Dude, you gotta bring it pointy end up."

And ever since, that's been my focus in delivering the news: pointy end up.

Posted by: Brian Williams at February 07, 2015 11:40 PM (Ap82b)

600 596 - Zombie Ernie Pyle.

Yeah Brian Williams, one heck of an operator. The only one who I respect more is Cookie Monster. That crazy blue bastard has a huge switchblade that he named "Snickerdoodle". The things he uses it for...not even Oscar deserves that!

Posted by: AnonYMouse at February 07, 2015 11:53 PM (VLhM3)

601 Despite everything, after we landed no one was hurt badly and the aircraft rotor was still turning. Unfortunately the snow had melted and our horses which we thought we had tied to a fence post were hanging from a church steeple.

Posted by: Baron Munchausen at February 07, 2015 11:53 PM (wabDv)

602 While he is on sabbatical he needs to get his fucking nose fixed.

Posted by: butternut at February 08, 2015 12:00 AM (F6ceQ)

603 We had the best damn pilot; not so much as a single round found us. The chopper we landed next too... shot to hell.

Posted by: Red Black at February 08, 2015 12:06 AM (eGzxU)

604 "I don't like to talk about it, but I will say that other people had it much, much worse than I did."

Posted by: PapayaSF at February 08, 2015 01:25 AM (blbjE)

605 The smell of cordite and helicopter fuel...it...just changes a man.

Stares into the distance.

Posted by: Brian Williams at February 08, 2015 02:36 AM (j1Wvr)

606 "the less said the better."

"I'll save that story for another day."

Posted by: Doggyodog at February 08, 2015 02:43 AM (5kNXS)

607 "I got over Macho Grande."

Posted by: OccupyResoluteDesk at February 08, 2015 03:25 AM (XfIn5)

Posted by: Vic at February 08, 2015 05:06 AM (wlDny)

609 Being with these brave men as our convoy came under attack is all that could prepareme for staring down thetube as my daughter has her ass tongue-fucked on national television."

Posted by: Justin at February 08, 2015 05:57 AM (hvJgj)

610 "They say nothing can prepare you for seeing your daughter's ass on television while some rando shoves his tongue up 'there.': looks off in the distance and whispers: They're wrong."

Posted by: Justin at February 08, 2015 06:00 AM (hvJgj)

611 I bunked near a place they called "the range." The gunfire was unrelenting as all soldiers found targets and held the enemy back with a deadly stream of hot metal. While the enemy did not get any closer, the constant report of rifles was testament to their tenacity.

Posted by: Chicago Vota at February 08, 2015 06:06 AM (N4yjS)

612 Well Dave, once a man stares into the heart of darkness no amount of hair-styling and stage make-up can cover it up. He just feels different.

Posted by: Brian Williams at February 08, 2015 06:32 AM (j1Wvr)

613 I could feel my scrotum tightening up, and my balls felt like they were being pushed up into my throat. Those pilots though, the dodging the carnage from the front of the bird - they have balls of steel, my friend.

If there's one thing I learned that day, it's that being a man, and wanting to be a man, is measured in the somewhere in the nut sac. I got one of them sac, but its filled with gumballs.

Posted by: Rosie O'Donnell at February 08, 2015 06:44 AM (nI3u6)

614 Hey, Ace, the Washington Post mentions and links to your blog in their Brian Williams story today by Paul Farhi

Posted by: Jane at February 08, 2015 06:51 AM (rDidp)

615 Concerning Obamacare architect Jonathan Gruber, Democrats should play: "How to Sound Like a Badass Without Committing Yourself to the Truth."

Posted by: Stephen Gordon at February 08, 2015 06:57 AM (04z4x)

616 "When all around you Grunts are grunting, the deck awash with their helplessness, you thank God for a prescient daughter who taught you the benefits of sphincter Kegels."

Posted by: Uffdaphil at February 08, 2015 07:31 AM (Tb3+f)

617 14 the way i figure it, when the Good Lord calls me home it won't matter if it's a bullet or a heart attack balls deep in some 12 year old saudi prince whose name I can't even pronounce


FIFYH

Posted by: Flight-ER-Doc at February 08, 2015 07:36 AM (cp0Pz)

618 514 shit. If Jenner goes to the slammer for the car accident thing will have to pay for his vagina.

Posted by: OG CELTIC-AMERICAN

Like half a pack of cigarettes a poke?

Posted by: Dirks Strewn at February 08, 2015 08:18 AM (TIgJq)

619 ACE,

The problem with your approach is, someone must bring up the incident. The response, "I was just doin' my job," presupposes the incident in question is being discussed. If there was no incident, who could bring it up but him? At some point he would be required to lie or induce someone else to lie.

Posted by: Flyover Bob at February 08, 2015 09:11 AM (q4P7M)

620 "As I sat there in that helicopter being buffeted, I looked into the eyes of those young men around me and I saw the steely reserve that can only come with facing death many times over. I knew then that they considered this a walk in the park."

There. If called on it he could claim he meant the helicopter was being buffeted by wind and that the men around him considered it a walk in the park because they were escorting a journalist.

Posted by: Lamont Cranston at February 08, 2015 09:42 AM (Rtyzj)

621 We lost a lot of good men out there.

Posted by: Sanjay Collins at February 08, 2015 10:29 AM (KoWnw)

622 "Certainly there were risks, but I'd be lying if I said my aircraft was hit by an RPG."

Posted by: Scratch at February 08, 2015 10:35 AM (1Nw02)

623 "I figured if my daughter could have her bung hole snorted for the camera, I could hold my pee in until we got on the ground."

Posted by: Kevin Cutts at February 08, 2015 12:35 PM (Jw4C3)

624 I just happened on this: people weighing in on how Brian Williams could have gotten the same hit from his time in Iraq without actually lying. You know, Emily Dickenson's "tell all the truth, but tell it
slant . . ."

Some of them are hilarious.

R

Posted by: camille at February 08, 2015 01:31 PM (pzDdB)

625 Brian Williams bailed on Congressional Medal of Honor MC duties to rush off to appear on an SNL sketch in 2006...Peter Gelzinis column..Boston Herald 2/8/15

Posted by: clarence whorley at February 08, 2015 01:59 PM (Vj+bh)

626 After I safely got off that bird, I knew I could do anything including watching my daughter on Girls.

Posted by: EthelCarol at February 08, 2015 02:36 PM (WhWuK)

627 "Let's just say I earned my pay that day."

Posted by: FireHorse at February 08, 2015 03:00 PM (2OdVw)

Posted by: jnrjhjmxf at March 03, 2015 03:27 AM (IYAT5)

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