The Left's Unending Fascination With Scripts to Browbeat Relatives on Thanksgiving Strongly Resemble... Scripts for Religious Conversion

Religious fervor on Thanksgiving?! How appropriate!

Think Progress has a guide on "how to argue with your Evangelical uncle" about marriage equality. Vox is advising you on Bill Cosby, Ferguson, and immigration (you're for it as much as possible, of course).

Last year, some of Michael Bloomberg's dollars trickled down to someone who gave you talking points on gun control. Chris Hayes is once again dedicating an hour of his MSNBC show to the cause.

Less combatively, Conor Friedersdorf advises you to adopt his brand of nodding empathy: "Before you focus on any point of disagreement, ask questions of your interlocutor to figure out why they think the way they do about the subject at hand."

These advice columns are becoming a genre unto themselves. The stock villain: crazy right-wing uncle, the jokes about stuffing. But I recognize them by what they unwittingly emulate: guides for religious evangelism. The gentle, righteous self-regard, the slightly orthogonal response guides, the implied urgency to cure your loved ones of their ignorance. Your raging uncle will know the truth, and the truth will set him free.

That's a problem. Our politics are taking on a religious shape. Increasingly we allow politics to form our moral identity and self-conception. We surround ourselves with an invisible community of the "elect" who share our convictions, and convince ourselves that even our closest and beloved relatives are not only wrong, but enemies of goodness itself. And so one of the best, least religious holidays in the calendar becomes a chance to deliver your uncle up as a sinner in the hands of an angry niece.

One thing that interests me about these Bluffers' Guides to Politics:

Supposedly progressives are super-informed and Love Science. Indeed, that's the main "political" argument they're actually arguing for.

So why is it so many of them seem to need these bluffer's guides to explain to them why they believe the things they believe?

It doesn't really make sense, does it? They're anxious because they're going to a Thanksgiving dinner where they won't have an Automatic Affirmation Clap Circle applauding their poses and posturings, but instead might be asked things like "Where are you getting that claim from?"

And this produces in them a terrible anxiety -- an anxiety disclosed by all these articles in their first paragraphs, which note the anxiety and fear before proposing a way to combat it.

But if they believe all these things so terribly fiercely, shouldn't they already sorta know why they believe them?

It's incredible, when you think about it -- they go through the whole year believing in their progressive catechisms zealously but only bother to ask Why do we believe this progressive religious nonsense again? one single day of the year, the one single day of the year where they fear they might be questioned about their religious beliefs.

Posted by: Ace at 12:38 PM




Comments

(Jump to bottom of page)

1 There is a reason I no longer travel to be with family on Thanksgiving. This is it.

Posted by: Super Creepy Rob Lowe at November 26, 2014 12:40 PM (oDCMR)

2 Why didn't you come to me like a fuckin' man and tell me there was a new post!?

Posted by: Insomniac at November 26, 2014 12:40 PM (DrWcr)

3 Cuz you're dumb, not like schmart.

Posted by: Super Creepy Rob Lowe at November 26, 2014 12:41 PM (oDCMR)

4 Wear pajamas.
Drink hot chocolate.
Talk about the sanctity of teh buttsex.

Posted by: Insomniac at November 26, 2014 12:42 PM (DrWcr)

5 Scripts are a necessity if unable to think for oneself.

Posted by: T. Jeff at November 26, 2014 12:43 PM (/Ho8c)

6 Will they re-issue the primer on OBamacare ?

"How to Combat your crazy Uncle's lies about the ACA"

Posted by: McCool at November 26, 2014 12:43 PM (Kbw23)

7 Dear Vox,

What should I eat first? The ham or the turkey? Should I even eat ham? I always run out of room on my plate. My uncle puts his roll on his turkey should I do that? Or is that copying? Help me Vox, you're my only hope.

-One of your fucking idiot readers

Posted by: Dang at November 26, 2014 12:43 PM (MNq6o)

8 537 You're too much of a pussy to shoot me.
Posted by: Zombie Michael Brown at November 26, 2014 12:41 PM (ZeBBB)

From the previous thread. Too f'ng funny to get stomped.

Posted by: Brave Sir Robin at November 26, 2014 12:43 PM (5buP8)

9 I won't argue. I'll just point & laugh.

Posted by: fluffy at November 26, 2014 12:44 PM (Ua6T/)

10 I'm going to celebrate Thanksgiving with some relatives, a handful of whom are raving lefties. If any one of them starts this shit with me, I will give them a toilet swirly and then toss their ass outside into the cold without a jacket.

Posted by: physics geek at November 26, 2014 12:44 PM (MT22W)

11 Hey lefty....I got yer advice right here.

Posted by: BignJames at November 26, 2014 12:44 PM (ZNQKl)

12 Now it is time for the Airing of the Grievances.

Posted by: Squanto at November 26, 2014 12:44 PM (8ZskC)

13 progressives are super-informed and Love Science
***
they also love organizing. This is just organizing, you know, like our community organizing pres.

I am not amused at certain talking points, like "hey did you know flooding the country with illegals who are trained to live a life of welfare dependency can actually increase the GDP by .5% based on their consumption of certain durable goods?" or "by forcing you to seek cancer treatment at an outpatient center rather than a hospital, we've managed to give nearly 200 ppl insurance that wouldn't have had it?"

like, I'm not sure my national history and character is so easily sold. and like I'm fucking stupid that I even beleive your lies.

Posted by: joe-impeachin44 at November 26, 2014 12:44 PM (N///B)

14 I still say I'm right about my pie eating response, though trebucheting mashed potatoes is a viable alternative.


Posted by: alexthechick - Commence drinking now. at November 26, 2014 12:44 PM (mf5HN)

15 Why everything is Bush's Fault. I should write a book - I'd make millions.

Posted by: Super Creepy Rob Lowe at November 26, 2014 12:44 PM (oDCMR)

16 I think the clock is falling further behind on this smart military blog

Posted by: McCool at November 26, 2014 12:44 PM (Kbw23)

17 I still say I'm right about my pie eating response, though trebucheting mashed potatoes is a viable alternative.


Posted by: alexthechick - Commence drinking now. at November 26, 2014 12:44 PM (mf5HN)


Rancid, fetid, rotten mashed potatoes leftover from last year's Thanksgiving feast.

Posted by: physics geek at November 26, 2014 12:45 PM (MT22W)

18 "How to Combat your crazy Uncle's lies about the ACA"
Posted by: McCool
----------

There's a handbook devoted to me?!

Posted by: Drunk Uncle Plugs at November 26, 2014 12:45 PM (F2IAQ)

19 I can't wait to destroy my smarmy millionaire Marxist uncle again. Fucker thinks he's so damn smart because he's a doctor who went to Dartmouth, meanwhile my dumb ass has him sputtering, screaming insults at me, and sounding like an all around lunatic as I calmly sit there barely having to say anything. It's not that I know how to push his buttons, it's that I know how to push the buttons of the Leftist Fundamentalists.

Posted by: mugiwara at November 26, 2014 12:45 PM (D5hxK)

20 Barack Obama is a SCOAMT.

Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) with a new job at November 26, 2014 12:45 PM (kff5f)

21 Have they published their annual article about how eating millions of turkeys increases CO2 and hastens Global Warming ?

Posted by: McCool at November 26, 2014 12:46 PM (Kbw23)

22 Whst's fun is to get them wildly off script. My brother in law almost punched my husband over an argument about the merits of killing islamic pirates.

Posted by: Lauren at November 26, 2014 12:46 PM (BPMYx)

23 It's not a cult!!!

Posted by: Progtard 2000 at November 26, 2014 12:46 PM (zwdxl)

24 Less combatively, Conor Friedersdorf advises you to adopt his brand of nodding empathy: "Before you focus on any point of disagreement, ask questions of your interlocutor to figure out why they think the way they do about the subject at hand."

Not sure the average lib wants to go there with some of the Horde.

Posted by: Golfman in NC at November 26, 2014 12:47 PM (wVWRM)

25 Brad Thor retweeted
andy levy @andylevy 27m
the people who write those "how to talk politics at thanksgiving" pieces have no idea they're the ones their relatives are dreading seeing

Posted by: Costanza Defense at November 26, 2014 12:47 PM (zwdxl)

26 Brad Thor retweeted
andy levy @andylevy 27m
the people who write those "how to talk politics at thanksgiving" pieces have no idea they're the ones their relatives are dreading seeing

Posted by: Costanza Defense at November 26, 2014 12:47 PM (zwdxl)

27 Does Vox have advice on how to talk to girls?

Posted by: That fat kid popping a zit on his chin at the mall food court at November 26, 2014 12:47 PM (MNq6o)

28 How disturbing that even a nice family get together dedicated to the idea of being thankful for the gifts in our lives must too be shamelessly politicized by the Left.

Shit.

Posted by: @JohnTant at November 26, 2014 12:47 PM (PFy0L)

29 And so one of the best, least religious holidays in the calendar

Ummm... to whom, exactly, do they think we're giving thanks?

I'm pretty sure that Thanksgiving is a fairly strong "religious holiday," it's just not a "Religious Holy Day" which is slightly different.

Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) with a new job at November 26, 2014 12:48 PM (kff5f)

30 the people who write those "how to talk politics at thanksgiving" pieces have no idea they're the ones their relatives are dreading seeing

Leftism may put Amway out of business.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at November 26, 2014 12:48 PM (8ZskC)

31 27 Does Vox have advice on how to talk to girls?
-----------------------
I don't think they like girls at Vox.

Posted by: Super Creepy Rob Lowe at November 26, 2014 12:48 PM (oDCMR)

32 Religions tend to start with a set of beliefs, and the believer is generally well versed in them, and accepts them as part of who they are.

Cults are different in that you start with a commitment to a leader of a cause (usually around one very narrowly defined idea), and then you are expected to obey whatever it is that gets dictated to you, whether you understand or not.

You're describing a cult.

Posted by: BurtTC at November 26, 2014 12:48 PM (TOk1P)

33 I was thinking about changing my mind and going to Herselfs' family tomorrow. And then I could spend the day selling the miracle of Transsubstantiation. using the dinner rolls and any wine in the house of course.

It might do that pack of Methodist/agnostics/batshit crazy BiL some good.

Posted by: Blue Hen at November 26, 2014 12:48 PM (Spluw)

34 Does Vox have advice on how to talk to girls?

Posted by: That fat kid popping a zit on his chin at the mall food court at November 26, 2014 12:47 PM (MNq6o)


"I prefer you in glossy, not matte. Thank god there's no longer a staple in your belly button."

Posted by: physics geek at November 26, 2014 12:48 PM (MT22W)

35 I will take the card from their hand, place it on a saucer, cover it in gravy, and hand it back to them.

Posted by: --- at November 26, 2014 12:49 PM (MMC8r)

36 Had a liberal relative almost punch me over me defending water-boarding of terrorists.

Two years later and he'd become a Mark Levin fanatic.

Posted by: Costanza Defense at November 26, 2014 12:49 PM (zwdxl)

37 When they ask you to pass the salt, THROW IT IN THEIR EYES! GET IN THEIR FACES!!!

Posted by: Vox at November 26, 2014 12:49 PM (MNq6o)

38 Mother recently diagnosed w/ Alz and is fading fast.

She thinks Jimmy Carter is still in office.

I simply smile and say, "Why yes, yes he is."

Posted by: Foghorn Leghorn at November 26, 2014 12:49 PM (R5UOB)

39 My Thanksgiving would make a liberals head spin. First the turkey is halah. My brother in law is Persian and usually has 5 or 6 Perisan friends over. Last year it was a family that had just moved to the U.S. a week before thanksgiving so they had no idea what it was all about. The family was very nice but very confused with all the food and family traditions that my sister and me carry on.

Posted by: wrg500 at November 26, 2014 12:49 PM (sWgE+)

40 5 Scripts are a necessity if unable to think for oneself.

Posted by: T. Jeff at November 26, 2014 12:43 PM (/Ho8c)


Maybe they can take a teleprompter with them?

Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at November 26, 2014 12:49 PM (oFCZn)

41 Last year Bloomberg offered talking points on Thanksgiving placemats that you could print up and use at the table.

So I printed some up and took the kids shooting. The "placemats" made nice free targets, and I posted the results on my twitter feed. It was fun way to try out my new Sig.

It may become a Thanksgiving tradition. I have another new Sig, we're going shooting over the Thanksgiving holiday, and Bloomberg has shit all over the holiday again. Yay.

Posted by: stace at November 26, 2014 12:49 PM (ImzkZ)

42 Thankfully I only have one relative ho is a raging liberal. That is my SIL and I rarely see her.

Posted by: Vic at November 26, 2014 12:49 PM (u9gzs)

43 Does Vox have advice on how to talk to girls?


I think Ezra has a primer on bathhouse etiquette.

Posted by: --- at November 26, 2014 12:49 PM (MMC8r)

44 Ann Coulter @AnnCoulter 8m
What will it take for white liberals to treat black people like adults? http://bit.ly/1vOc227

Posted by: Costanza Defense at November 26, 2014 12:49 PM (zwdxl)

45 How disturbing that even a nice family get together dedicated to the
idea of being thankful for the gifts in our lives must too be
shamelessly politicized by the Left.


How does it go?

"All within the State.
Nothing outside the State.
Nothing against the State."

Something like that, anyway.

Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) with a new job at November 26, 2014 12:49 PM (kff5f)

46 I don't think they like girls at Vox.

They are girls, baby girls.

Posted by: madamex at November 26, 2014 12:50 PM (1zsKV)

47 Pull my finger.

Holiday flatulence is always a crowd pleaser.

Posted by: Uncle Fritz at November 26, 2014 12:50 PM (UzPAd)

48 I host Thanksgiving now, and have absolutely no trouble kicking someone out for getting on my nerves.

Posted by: Chupacabras at November 26, 2014 12:50 PM (+hPIb)

49 27 Does Vox have advice on how to talk to girls?

---

Step 1: Take the microphone off mute

Posted by: Foghorn Leghorn at November 26, 2014 12:51 PM (R5UOB)

50 What will it take for white liberals to treat black people like adults? http://bit.ly/1vOc227

FUNDING!

Posted by: --- at November 26, 2014 12:51 PM (MMC8r)

51 After the meal, admit to everyone that you raped the turkey. Repeatedly. And made the dog watch. GET IN THEIR FACES!!!

Posted by: Vox at November 26, 2014 12:51 PM (MNq6o)

52 Does Vox have advice on how to talk to girls?


Probably.

Memorize their advice and do the opposite.

Posted by: fluffy at November 26, 2014 12:51 PM (Ua6T/)

53
Thanksgiving is a dangerous time when a distant but very attractive female relative has a few pops and attempts to chicken choke your cock!

Posted by: Joe Biden at November 26, 2014 12:52 PM (3/wAJ)

54 They don't love science. They love the Occult.

That's what you call a godless, materialistic symbolic magic whose secrets make you more powerful and important than the unwashed masses.

Posted by: Chris_Balsz at November 26, 2014 12:52 PM (pYEaj)

55 Why oh why didn't I take the blue pill.

Posted by: GnuBreed at November 26, 2014 12:52 PM (7wr6/)

56 Luckily this Thanksgving I have no family coming over. Just wife and kids and another couple going to a restaurant.

But for Christmas, my nut job left wing idiot brother in law is coming over and staying for a few days. I look forward to beating the shit out of him (politically speaking).

Posted by: Underground Cigarette Market at November 26, 2014 12:52 PM (0LHZx)

57 Nodding empathy? You think any of these know it alls are capable of any such thing?

Posted by: ejo at November 26, 2014 12:52 PM (rsGj7)

58 Have they published their annual article about how eating millions of turkeys increases CO2 and hastens Global Warming ?
Posted by: McCool
---------------

PETA has sent a letter to Obama's daughters, asking them to intervene on behalf of the turkeys:

"No animal wants to die, and if turkeys could, they would beg for your family to pardon not one but all of them from a lifetime of suffering and a violent, terrifying death," Owen wrote to the Obama daughters.

The group suggested the first family ditch the bird for "delicious, healthy alternative foods" such as “tofurky,” a vegetarian tofu-based turkey replacement.

Posted by: Drunk Uncle Plugs at November 26, 2014 12:52 PM (F2IAQ)

59 I'm glad I don't have to put up with this. My whole family is down-to-earth conservative.

Posted by: Soona at November 26, 2014 12:52 PM (MQ/CN)

60 Fucking sock

Posted by: Mr. Moo Moo at November 26, 2014 12:52 PM (0LHZx)

61 I have had a policy for the past several years any time some prog start blathering tome. I just tell them to STFU and get away from me. It is way more effective than trying to reason with them without any of the frustration. There is almost no chance of converting these cultists so why bother? Better to just drive them off to be with their own kind.

Posted by: George Orwell at November 26, 2014 12:52 PM (1BQGO)

62 Thank god there's no longer a staple in your belly button.

That was oddly specific.

Posted by: HR needs donuts at November 26, 2014 12:52 PM (ZKzrr)

63 That's why I avoid most political blogs and mainstream news. I have my own religion, thank you. I do not seek to be converted to worshiping a lesser god.

Posted by: grammie winger at November 26, 2014 12:53 PM (3B+O8)

64 Tell the libtards how terribly wrong and uninformed they are on a topic at Thanksgiving and you won't get invited to a costly weekend wasting summer wedding for the niece or nephew who wore a helmet the first decade of his/her life.

Works for me.

Posted by: SE Pa Moron at November 26, 2014 12:53 PM (zxQ4h)

65 Apparently this was part of Obamacare.
It's mainly a way to fuck over small business and block competition.

FDA's Final Menu Labeling Rule: Going Way Beyond What's Required Under Obamacare http://dailysign.al/1uUFnWx via @darenbakst @DailySignal

Posted by: Costanza Defense at November 26, 2014 12:53 PM (zwdxl)

66 Mother recently diagnosed w/ Alz and is fading fast.


Oh, I'm so sorry. My grandmother has Alzheimer's and is basically just a body walking around without a mind inside.

In some ways (not all, obviously- but some) I think Alzheimer's is as bad as (or even worse than) cancer.

Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) with a new job at November 26, 2014 12:53 PM (kff5f)

67 The primer I would suggest is drink a lot of alcohol and enjoy the truthiness that results. Good times.

Posted by: Super Creepy Rob Lowe at November 26, 2014 12:53 PM (oDCMR)

68 Had a liberal relative almost punch me over me defending water-boarding of terrorists.
Two years later and he'd become a Mark Levin fanatic.
Posted by: Costanza Defense at November 26, 2014 12:49 PM (zwdxl)



That's pretty solid. I only bother with the arguments when there are others watching. My goal is not to change a Leftist's mind, my goal is to bait said Leftist into revealing to onlookers that just beneath the calm, elitist surface, there lies a raging lunatic.

Posted by: mugiwara at November 26, 2014 12:53 PM (D5hxK)

69 Have they published their annual article about how eating millions of turkeys increases CO2 and hastens Global Warming ?

Posted by: McCool


"How Watching Football Makes You a Homophobic, Sexist, Wife-beating, Xenophobe"

Posted by: Standard MSM Headlines at November 26, 2014 12:53 PM (s9AKD)

70 Here is my advice to conservatives - when talking to your liberal relatives, speak as if to a mentally handicapped person. Because, that is exactly what they are, the poor dears....

Posted by: Dr. McCoy at November 26, 2014 12:54 PM (F192H)

71 Does Vox have advice on how to talk to girls?


Probably.

Memorize their advice and do the opposite.

Posted by: fluffy at November 26, 2014 12:51 PM (Ua6T/)


So they're like George Costanza then.

http://goo.gl/Gvg2

Posted by: physics geek at November 26, 2014 12:54 PM (MT22W)

72 When my grandparents were still alive our Thanksgiving feast was joined at the hip with guns and hunting . Mornings were spent hunting and afternoons spent gorging on Turkey and fixings .
You had to pick your way through mountains of camo coats and gun cases just to get into the dining room and kitchen .
If someone had brought up gun control at that gathering they'd have been treated as if they were child molesters .
Bloomie can go f*ck himself .

Posted by: awkward davies at November 26, 2014 12:54 PM (Z+Mqb)

73 "No animal wants to die,"

Heh.

Posted by: The Hemlock Society at November 26, 2014 12:54 PM (MNq6o)

74 The group suggested the first family ditch the bird for "delicious,
healthy alternative foods" such as "tofurky," a vegetarian tofu-based
turkey replacement.


But turkey won't give you moobs.

Posted by: HR needs donuts at November 26, 2014 12:54 PM (ZKzrr)

75 @AllenG

Thanks. Not easy days but for the grace of God.

Posted by: Foghorn Leghorn at November 26, 2014 12:54 PM (R5UOB)

76 Makes me glad I don't have a big family with liberal relatives to deal with.

Shut your mouth and just be friendly. No one wants to hear your crap. Self-important blowhards.

Posted by: brak at November 26, 2014 12:55 PM (Tj+s6)

77
We're deeply disappointed.

Fuck Bud!

Posted by: The Clydesdale's at November 26, 2014 12:55 PM (3/wAJ)

78 Tomorrow we march.

Horde, remember your tools - your Jonathan Gruber hammer, your Lois Lerner screwdriver, your dictator Obama amnesty wrench.

Give'm hell!

Posted by: Misfortune & Pestilence at November 26, 2014 12:55 PM (i0+Ku)

79 Thank god there's no longer a staple in your belly button.

That was oddly specific.

Posted by: HR needs donuts at November 26, 2014 12:52 PM (ZKzrr)


Just something I heard about once. Never actually seen it myself. ::cough::

Posted by: physics geek at November 26, 2014 12:55 PM (MT22W)

80 Mother recently diagnosed w/ Alz and is fading fast.
She thinks Jimmy Carter is still in office.
I simply smile and say, "Why yes, yes he is."


You my sympathy.

My M-I-L has it, but is a little more current. She occasionally blurts out how wonder Obama is. The easiest thing to do is smile, nod & change the subject.

Posted by: fluffy at November 26, 2014 12:55 PM (Ua6T/)

81 Don't expect them to ever be able the answer of why they believe what they believe. They will claim it is "obvious" and when pressed, will get very very angry.

Posted by: Dr. McCoy at November 26, 2014 12:55 PM (F192H)

82 Two years later and he'd become a Mark Levin fanatic.
Posted by: Costanza Defense
-----------------

A conversion is a rare thing, and to be celebrated.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at November 26, 2014 12:56 PM (F2IAQ)

83 First, rape the gravy...

Posted by: Vox at November 26, 2014 12:56 PM (MNq6o)

84 PETA has sent a letter to Obama's daughters, asking them to intervene on behalf of the turkeys


This. This right here is how we know leftists are stupid. They sent this piece of toilet paper to the daughter of a guy that ate a dog. As if they don't eat some kind of animal every frickin night

Posted by: Blue Hen at November 26, 2014 12:56 PM (Spluw)

85
Mornings were spent hunting and afternoons spent gorging on Turkey and fixings .

Yep, that was my Thanksgiving growing up. Followed closely by a nap on the floor with one of the dogs curled up next to me.

Posted by: wrg500 at November 26, 2014 12:56 PM (sWgE+)

86 Shut up and eat your turkey, hippie.

Posted by: Your Crazy Evangelical Uncle at November 26, 2014 12:56 PM (lN8KC)

87 take advantage of your captive audience and come out of the closet. for the ninth year in a row.

Posted by: X at November 26, 2014 12:57 PM (KHo8t)

88 Also, get them good and liquored up. In vino veritas. It will become even harder for them to form coherent arguments.

Posted by: Dr. McCoy at November 26, 2014 12:57 PM (F192H)

89 Do you renounce all carbon, and embrace Al Gore as your lord anbd savior?

//Progtard2000

Posted by: Sven S Blade a.k.a. El Assassin@sven10077 at November 26, 2014 12:57 PM (/4AZU)

90 First, rape the gravy...
Posted by: Vox

As for creaming the onions......

Posted by: A Vox upon both houses! at November 26, 2014 12:57 PM (Spluw)

91 Ask them why fifty years after the War on Poverty we are having Ferguson riots.

Posted by: --- at November 26, 2014 12:57 PM (MMC8r)

92 22
Whst's fun is to get them wildly off script. My brother in law almost
punched my husband over an argument about the merits of killing islamic
pirates.

Posted by: Lauren at November 26, 2014 12:46 PM (BPMYx)

Was feeling a bit gloomy. This comment cheered me up very much.

Posted by: SarahW at November 26, 2014 12:57 PM (Lbv/k)

93 Shut up and eat your turkey, hippie, before I Crazy Glue your mouth shut.

Posted by: Your Crazy Evangelical Uncle at November 26, 2014 12:56 PM (lN8KC)

Sorry. Incomplete sentences bug me sometimes.

Posted by: physics geek at November 26, 2014 12:57 PM (MT22W)

94 Posted by: Your Crazy Evangelical Uncle

Funny how none of these smug progg children realize that *they* are the insane ranting blowhards at the table, isn't it?

Posted by: HR needs donuts at November 26, 2014 12:58 PM (ZKzrr)

95 Hearing about y'alls families makes me realize just how damn lucky I am to have the family I do. We have no progressives, no vegans, no simpering academics, no wymyns studies graduates, and no rabid gun-grabbers. Thanksgiving is a great time at my folks' house.

I love my family.

Posted by: Arthur C. Cognomen, Thankful and Stuff at November 26, 2014 12:58 PM (RwwCT)

96 "First, rape the gravy..."

Pro tip: Drug your gravy first.

Posted by: Bill Cosby at November 26, 2014 12:58 PM (i0+Ku)

97 86 Shut up and eat your hippie, turkey. FIFY

Posted by: Foghorn Leghorn at November 26, 2014 12:58 PM (R5UOB)

98 22 Whst's fun is to get them wildly off script. My brother in law almost punched my husband over an argument about the merits of killing islamic pirates.
Posted by: Lauren at November 26, 2014 12:46 PM (BPMYx)

What's to argue? They should be killed early and often.

Posted by: Insomniac at November 26, 2014 12:58 PM (DrWcr)

99 but seriously, set up an adult table, a kid's table, and a prog table. the prog table gets tofurkey.

Posted by: X at November 26, 2014 12:58 PM (KHo8t)

100 Ask them why fifty years after the War on Poverty we are having Ferguson riots.
Posted by: ---

With a dem president, governor, mayor and DA. Make sure to ask if the DAs' name is Bull Conner. They love that.

Posted by: A Vox upon both houses! at November 26, 2014 12:58 PM (Spluw)

101 Horde, remember your tools - your Jonathan Gruber hammer, your Lois Lerner screwdriver, your dictator Obama amnesty wrench.

Give'm hell!
Posted by: Misfortune
-----------------

Your Al Gore CO2 spewer.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at November 26, 2014 12:59 PM (F2IAQ)

102 I do have to say, over the past ten years or so I've noticed that at my family/friend get togethers, the conservative-types in the crowd aren't the ones bringing up politics at the drop of a hat...it's always the lefties in the group.

Me, I'm happy to be left alone, eat lots, watch some kind of sporting event, and drink myself to bed. I don't need some Pajama Boy fuckwit trying to convert me.

Posted by: @JohnTant at November 26, 2014 12:59 PM (PFy0L)

103 Cults are different in that you start with a commitment to a leader of a cause (usually around one very narrowly defined idea), and then you are expected to obey whatever it is that gets dictated to you, whether you understand or not.

You're describing a cult.

Posted by: BurtTC


I have to disagree. There is no leader of the Left, at least in the US. The Left existed before Obama, Carter, FDR.

It may not be a structured religion, but the members are religious in their beliefs. In a way, it's like animism; it just exists without canon or leaders.

And it's not narrowly defined. Modern leftists are maximalists. Every fucking thing under the sun is grist for their mill.

Posted by: weft cut-loop at November 26, 2014 12:59 PM (s9AKD)

104 Ask them why fifty years after the War on Poverty we are having Ferguson riots.
Posted by: ---
-----------------

Stock answer, "We haven't spent enough."

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at November 26, 2014 12:59 PM (F2IAQ)

105 99 Posted by: X at November 26, 2014 12:58 PM (KHo8t)

Seattle is now pardoning even Tofurkey my friend....


the Progtard2000 never rests, never stops, and is never satisfied...

one of America's best and toughest towns went full Ecotard and they STILL get harangued...


Posted by: Sven S Blade a.k.a. El Assassin@sven10077 at November 26, 2014 01:00 PM (/4AZU)

106 >>...they won't have an Automatic Affirmation Clap Circle applauding their poses and posturings, but instead might be asked things like "Where are you getting that claim from?"


How dare you confront me with facts. Fascist.

Posted by: dogfish at November 26, 2014 01:00 PM (1vYi0)

107 "And so one of the best, least religious holidays in the calendar becomes a chance to deliver your uncle up as a sinner in the hands of an angry niece."

Agree with the sentiment of the piece, but this sentence displays more than a little bit of historical ignorance.

Posted by: Emmett Milbarge at November 26, 2014 01:00 PM (nFdGS)

108 But if they believe all these things so terribly fiercely, shouldn't they already sorta know why they believe them?

Sadly, I find this to be true of many Christians. Indeed, it's true of many people who hold ideas "religiously." They substitute blind faith for reason.

On the Christian side, we're actually instructed *not* to do that ("have an answer for any who ask you..."), but secular "religious" (from AGW to the anti-gun idiots, and so forth) rely on it quite strongly.

Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) with a new job at November 26, 2014 01:01 PM (kff5f)

109 I have to disagree. There is no leader of the Left, at least in the US. The Left existed before Obama, Carter, FDR.

It may not be a structured religion, but the members are religious in their beliefs. In a way, it's like animism; it just exists without canon or leaders.

And it's not narrowly defined. Modern leftists are maximalists. Every fucking thing under the sun is grist for their mill.
Posted by: weft cut-loop at November 26, 2014 12:59 PM (s9AKD)



The State is the leader of the left. The State is their god, their messiah.

Posted by: BCochran1981 Esq. at November 26, 2014 01:01 PM (da5Wo)

110 I do have to say, over the past ten years or so I've noticed that at my family/friend get togethers, the conservative-types in the crowd aren't the ones bringing up politics at the drop of a hat...it's always the lefties in the group. Me, I'm happy to be left alone, eat lots, watch some kind of sporting event, and drink myself to bed. I don't need some Pajama Boy fuckwit trying to convert me.
Posted by: @JohnTant

This. Alas, it includes my MiL. I'm staying away because I know my wife will blame me.

Posted by: Blue Hen at November 26, 2014 01:01 PM (Spluw)

111 I had zero role in converting my relative-- who I only see every 2-3 years. I had no idea he'd become a Levin fanatic. I don't know how the transformation took place.

His sister, who's still a prog, says it's because he became selfish and racist when he started making good money at work.

She's a prog who mostly does volunteer work. She ditched her husband (and father of her 3 kids) when his career stalled out and found a rich doctor to marry.

She thinks Americans are greedy and selfish.

Her first husband struggled financially. New husband is nice and rich.

I hear her old husband was devastated when she left and took the kids during the holidays and tried to off himself -- which, of course, made him an unstable, unfit parent in the eyes of the court -- especially compare to the rich, stable doctor husband #2 -- so she got full custody.

Posted by: Costanza Defense at November 26, 2014 01:01 PM (zwdxl)

112 Had a liberal relative almost punch me over me defending water-boarding of terrorists.



Two years later and he'd become a Mark Levin fanatic.

Posted by: Costanza Defense



Thanks for that ray of hope. Seriously, I believe most of the idiots are beyond reaching. Good to know another one got through.

Our family is thankfully all on the same page. We do have one uncle who wrote off everyone because we listened to Limbaugh. Cutting off family contact because of the radio show we listened to. Making us evil made him feel special. Whatever. Adios.

Posted by: Dang at November 26, 2014 01:01 PM (MNq6o)

113 106 Posted by: dogfish at November 26, 2014 01:00 PM (1vYi0)

I went berzerk at a 4th of July reunion....first time I had seen my half sister in ~22 years and some fucking moonbat step-whatever decides it's time to acquaint me with my lord and savior and patron of carbon credits Al Gore...

it ended...poorly.

Posted by: Sven S Blade a.k.a. El Assassin@sven10077 at November 26, 2014 01:01 PM (/4AZU)

114 But if they believe all these things so terribly fiercely, shouldn't they already sorta know why they believe them?
***

Do children know why they believe in Santa Claus?

Posted by: B at November 26, 2014 01:01 PM (jg1FQ)

115 I give thanks to GOD, also known as Yahweh, Jehovah, Adonai, or Elohim. Those are the only ones I use, because it is my belief those are the only ones HE answers to.

Posted by: Erowmero at November 26, 2014 01:02 PM (go5uR)

116 "one of the best, least religious holidays in the calendar"

Huh?

He meant to write "the only offical and unique national holiday established entirely around religious belief", right?

I mean of course T-giving has been secularized over time, for the most part, but I find it kind of funny that this deep thinker could write something so stupid and counter-factual.

Posted by: rhomboid at November 26, 2014 01:02 PM (afQnV)

117 Why didn't you come to me like a man and tell me there was a new thread?

Posted by: GGE of the Moron Horde, NC Chapter at November 26, 2014 01:02 PM (V22Sh)

118 "Shut up and eat your turkey, hippie."

Probably the best of all possible responses, for the sake of the holiday.

Mine has been one warning. "Put a sock in that bullcrap if you want to remain in my home." Any further anti-American, anti-anything politicization of my holiday results in my taking his collar firmly in my left hand and his belt in my right while the wife holds the door open for his sudden but inevitable flight to the driveway.

Posted by: Keith Arnold at November 26, 2014 01:02 PM (iIzG7)

119 Tomorrow is the National Day of Mourning for the "indigenous" folks down in Plymouth, so feel free to come on down and get all your white guilt out of the way before the holidays in solidarity.
Hopefully they'll lay off the firewater and not mix it up with the cops which happens every few years.

Posted by: tu3031 at November 26, 2014 01:02 PM (i0wGQ)

120 You could talk about this over Thanksgiving dinner.

"When it comes to Department of Defense doctrine on military treatment of detained persons, "unlawful enemy combatants" are a thing of the past. That term has been retired and replaced by "unprivileged enemy belligerents" in a new revision of Joint Publication 3-13 on Detainee Operations, dated November 13, 2014."

Posted by: The Great White Snark at November 26, 2014 01:02 PM (XUKZU)

121 I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU DON'T BELIEVE IN SCIENCE! I HATE THIS FAMILY!

pass the potatos...

Posted by: brak at November 26, 2014 01:03 PM (Tj+s6)

122 102 I do have to say, over the past ten years or so I've noticed that at my family/friend get togethers, the conservative-types in the crowd aren't the ones bringing up politics at the drop of a hat...it's always the lefties in the group.


What is it with liberal evangelicals? They inject their idiotic politics into every fucking occasion without a shred of embarrassment. At a recent neighborhood housewarming some liberal asshole went off on a rant, totally unbidden. He brought up the subject, then proceeded to rant about it, all by himself, while the rest of us coughed and shuffled our feet. I've had liberal parents do this when they come over to pick up their kids at our house. WTF?

Posted by: Jay Guevara at November 26, 2014 01:03 PM (oKE6c)

123 117 Posted by: GGE of the Moron Horde, NC Chapter at November 26, 2014 01:02 PM (V22Sh)

Ah golden oldies meme week...


"why didn't you come to me like a man, and tell me I had my crank in your wife?"

//Silky Pony

Posted by: Sven S Blade a.k.a. El Assassin@sven10077 at November 26, 2014 01:03 PM (/4AZU)

124 wrg500 , it made for a pretty sweet Thanksgiving , didn't it .
I'll never forget those holidays , if I live to be a hundred .

Posted by: awkward davies at November 26, 2014 01:04 PM (Z+Mqb)

125 This is why there is no rational discussion with the left. There are those truly evil libs spewing their BS, and then there are those that just cannot think for themselves and take it on faith that these evil libs have their best interest at heart. There really are two camps in that world.

Posted by: dogfish at November 26, 2014 01:04 PM (1vYi0)

126 Sorta reminds me of the husband of a cousin who sold Amway, and did so in the most inappropriate places, like Thanksgiving gatherings, Christmas Day, baptisms, funeral gatherings, wedding receptions. He saw them as opportunities. At least he believed in what he was doing. That doesn't excuse being a jerk and ignoring social boundaries.

Posted by: docweasel at November 26, 2014 01:04 PM (5Z4Wf)

127 @95 - Same here. There is no grief at the holidays. Just food, family and fun.

Posted by: bicentennialguy at November 26, 2014 01:04 PM (vg8iE)

128 116 Posted by: rhomboid at November 26, 2014 01:02 PM (afQnV)

CAREFUL or SCotUS will fucking ban it Rhomboid...

smile and nod and repeat...

"it's about vittles and football friendo...si si"

Posted by: Sven S Blade a.k.a. El Assassin@sven10077 at November 26, 2014 01:04 PM (/4AZU)

129 WE NEED TO LOVE OUR FELLOW MAN, YOU RACIST HATER!!!

Posted by: The last thing she said before the stabbing at November 26, 2014 01:05 PM (MMC8r)

130 #96 That made me laugh

Posted by: Doug at November 26, 2014 01:05 PM (H6fvX)

131 That's pretty solid. I only bother with the arguments when there are others watching. My goal is not to change a Leftist's mind, my goal is to bait said Leftist into revealing to onlookers that just beneath the calm, elitist surface, there lies a raging lunatic.

Posted by: mugiwara at November 26, 2014 12:53 PM (D5hxK)



Huh. That seems oddly familiar. Oh well, I'm sure it'll come to me.

Posted by: BCochran1981 Esq. at November 26, 2014 01:05 PM (da5Wo)

132
The appropriate response to "because SCIENCE!" is pardon me, why does God need a starship?

Posted by: I R A Darth Aggie at November 26, 2014 01:05 PM (1hM1d)

133 Then tell the kid's table Santa is a CAPITALIST LIE!!!!!

GET IN THOSE LITTLE FUCKER'S FACES!!!

Posted by: Vox at November 26, 2014 01:05 PM (MNq6o)

134 "Was feeling a bit gloomy. This comment cheered me up very much."

Glad to make you smile. Even at the time we were all just standing there going...uh, dude, we're talking about pirates, come on!

As for what there is to argue about...

BIL thought we should take a kinder, gentler approach to handling piracy. Deal with their poverty, help "reach them."

To which we all replied..."uh, how does that work when they're on your ship holding you hostage?"

And that's when the fists of rage started pumping.

Posted by: Lauren at November 26, 2014 01:06 PM (BPMYx)

135
Posted by: awkward davies at November 26, 2014 01:04 PM (Z+Mqb)

Even better when you came home with a deer or 2.

Posted by: wrg500 at November 26, 2014 01:06 PM (sWgE+)

136
Dear Vox,

One question:

Can I eat fucking sand?

and a follow-up:

Can I eat fucking sand through my fucking ears?

Thank you for your timely response,

Your retard "Science Loving" Demographic

Posted by: ace at November 26, 2014 01:06 PM (/FnUH)

137 Posted by: Costanza Defense at November 26, 2014 01:01 PM (zwdxl)


Christ, what a piece of work she is. Methinks hubby #1 might have gotten the best of the deal. She sounds toxic as hell.

Posted by: Jay Guevara at November 26, 2014 01:06 PM (oKE6c)

138 Posted by: Jay Guevara at November 26, 2014 01:03 PM (oKE6c)

----

The latest was a niece's graduation party, just a couple of months ago. One attendee congratulated the guest of honor and said it was lucky Obama was President otherwise she wouldn't be able to go to college.

Posted by: @JohnTant at November 26, 2014 01:06 PM (PFy0L)

139 Of course, if I can't drive them off I like to compare my immeasurably
superior financial situation due to years of hard, productive work in the private
sector to their miserable lives filled with debt payments, tiny apartments and loser cars they use to go to some NGO working for
minimum wage where they advocate for some new govt. program to help other losers.. You can't beat them with logic but you make them cry.

Posted by: George Orwell at November 26, 2014 01:06 PM (1BQGO)

140

Poor little progressive saps. It's like going into the jungle, alone.

/teenyweenyviolin (and a flute!)

Posted by: artisanal 'ette at November 26, 2014 01:06 PM (IXrOn)

141 I've noticed the last few years the usual prog suspects at gatherings aren't nearly as froggy as they once were.

Posted by: X at November 26, 2014 01:07 PM (KHo8t)

142 I don't have a "script" for religious conversion as conversion is the work of God and I know enough about my beliefs not to have to remember talking points . In my time with my family (who are Agnostic) I never tried to browbeat them over TG dinner or any other gathering. Having to discuss talking points is not a good way to relax in what should hopefully be a pleasant time of giving thanks and enjoyng the food and being together. And as far as Bloomy etx, will you get a bonus is your made the requisite number of sales piches? Uggh.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at November 26, 2014 01:07 PM (bRm4u)

143 Posted by: @JohnTant at November 26, 2014 01:06 PM (PFy0L)


And that's the point when my wife would have grabbed my arm and led me away from the gathering.

Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) with a new job at November 26, 2014 01:07 PM (kff5f)

144 Automatic Affirmation Clap Circle


I like that. Good one, Ace!

Posted by: Citizen X at November 26, 2014 01:07 PM (7ObY1)

145 GGE - Stocking stuffer http://tinyurl.com/q2hcjh9

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at November 26, 2014 01:07 PM (F2IAQ)

146 Sorta reminds me of the husband of a cousin who sold Amway, and did so in the most inappropriate places, like Thanksgiving gatherings, Christmas Day, baptisms, funeral gatherings, wedding receptions. He saw them as opportunities. At least he believed in what he was doing. That doesn't excuse being a jerk and ignoring social boundaries.
Posted by: docweasel at November 26, 2014 01:04 PM (5Z4Wf)



I grew up with Evangelical Christians who sold Amway.

So. Yeah.

Posted by: alexthechick - Commence drinking now. at November 26, 2014 01:08 PM (mf5HN)

147 95 Hearing about y'alls families makes me realize just how damn lucky I am to have the family I do. We have no progressives, no vegans, no simpering academics, no wymyns studies graduates, and no rabid gun-grabbers. Thanksgiving is a great time at my folks' house.

I love my family.
Posted by: Arthur C. Cognomen, Thankful and Stuff at November 26, 2014 12:58 PM (RwwCT)

I'm also really blessed in that way and most ways. My family is the number one thing I'm thankful for. Not a stinker in the bunch.

Posted by: stace at November 26, 2014 01:08 PM (ImzkZ)

148 Posted by: ace at November 26, 2014 01:06 PM (/FnUH)

Happy Thanksgiving, ace!

Posted by: fluffy at November 26, 2014 01:08 PM (Ua6T/)

149 Don't know whether to start laughing if the lefties i must hang with on TDay, shut them down gracefully or go the swirly route mentioned above. Plenty of room to tween some response there. Maybe even just silent derisive response.

Thinking I might go with the old standby said out loud...
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, The courage to change the things I can,
And the wisdom to know the difference. How's about dem Cowboys?

Posted by: Fewenuff at November 26, 2014 01:08 PM (zPNX5)

150 Talk about the sanctity of teh buttsex.

Hands up, buttsex!

Posted by: wooga at November 26, 2014 01:08 PM (LvEg1)

151 27
Does Vox have advice on how to talk to girls?


NO! Talking to girls is a product of Rape Culture! Keep your mouth shut and avert your eyes whenever females are present.

Posted by: SJW at November 26, 2014 01:09 PM (2jQGY)

152 " They inject their idiotic politics into every fucking occasion without a shred of embarrassment."

Oh, do I have a story there! The same brother in law who was pro-pirate was once married to an equally brain dead liberal woman.

She was selling Mary Kay and my mother in law did her a favor and hosted a Mary Kay party at her house and bought a bunch of crap from her.

As liberal SIL was leaving, she turned back and looked right at my conservative MIL and said "*sigh* I hate George Bush" and then walked out the door.

Posted by: Lauren at November 26, 2014 01:09 PM (BPMYx)

153

The premise is to talk politics.

My family never does this. But, then, after Obama, the remaining couple of Democrats in my family have seen the light, so there's no dispute.

Posted by: artisanal 'ette at November 26, 2014 01:09 PM (IXrOn)

154 According to WaPo, soon enough you won't have to worry about progs at your holiday dinners. The new hip and trendy thing to do is tell your family to fuck off since you're spending the holidays with friends.

Link is at Drudge.

Posted by: Mr. Moo Moo at November 26, 2014 01:09 PM (0LHZx)

155 7 Dear Vox,

What should I eat first? The ham or the turkey? Should I even eat ham? I always run out of room on my plate. My uncle puts his roll on his turkey should I do that? Or is that copying? Help me Vox, you're my only hope.



You should show solidarity with our Muslim brothers and have the turkey. Halal turkey of course.

Putting a roll ON a turkey? Most people put the turkey IN the roll, but your crazy right-wing Uncle is clearly an addled, anti-science rayciss wingnut.

-VOXPLAINED!!!!

Posted by: Citizen X at November 26, 2014 01:09 PM (7ObY1)

156 150 Posted by: wooga at November 26, 2014 01:08 PM (LvEg1)

My understanding is you often have to pay extra for hands up buttsecks...

//Jerry Springer

Posted by: Sven S Blade a.k.a. El Assassin@sven10077 at November 26, 2014 01:10 PM (/4AZU)

157 honestly i'd rather eats liver and gizzard dressing (gak!)
Than have these type of shlubs try to ruin every.damn'dholday with their nutso morality.

an antidote.

I said last year i would never prepare and host thanksgiving again.
If anothdr family member hosts i am free to walk oute

Posted by: willow at November 26, 2014 01:10 PM (nqBYe)

158 And that's the point when my wife would have grabbed my arm and led me away from the gathering.

Yep, I had to self-quarantine. Found the beer and sat with my oldest kid.

Posted by: @JohnTant at November 26, 2014 01:10 PM (PFy0L)

159 My rules for dealing with the obnoxious liberal niece/nephew/cousin:

1. You can talk after the football games are over or you leave, either way. STFU.
2. Still want to talk? Fine, go help out in the kitchen while I drink beer and watch football. From the time we are called to the table and the bird hits the table, you can spew your lunacy, but remember, I bring the bird in, so STFU.
3. It's Thanksgiving, and your family is tired of your mooching off of them. Learn a skill, skill number 1? Go in the kitchen and fix me a f'n sandwich.
4. While you are fixing that sandwich, grab a couple of beers because your grandfather/uncle and I are thirsty.
5. Our beers need refreshing.
6. Those pretzels aren't going to serve themselves.
7. Time for a beer refill.
8. Run and get some ice and more beer, and none of that gheyass beer.
9. Yeah, I said I would talk about "President Boyfriend" with you after the game, but the NFL knows our plight and now schedules 3 games on Thanksgiving, so sorry bub.
10. Well, good night, GTFOOH, and BTW, Obama still sucks cock, but I'm sure you already knew that. Also, that college degree you are working on? Got one already, and it's paid off from working real jobs. I know that you are several of the regulars at Starbucks favorite barista, but to let you in on a little secret, the guy behind the counter at the KwikMart is an actual doctor from some Mid-East shithole, and he makes coffee just a well as you do.

Needless to say, we don't have some family members come over for the holidays.

Posted by: Ashley Judd's Puffy Scamper, formerly MrCaniac at November 26, 2014 01:10 PM (+Fae7)

160 I always concern troll my liberal relatives. Make some broad statement they agree with, then give numerous examples of liberals doing the exact opposite.
Freedom of speech/campus speech codes.
Goverment out of thebedroom/bizarre feminist definitions of "rape".
Freedom to smoke pot/limits of soft drink sizes.
Support for gay marriage/how islamic cultures treat homosexuals. Actually it is really fun to get them to start denouncing islamic cultures, then watch them realize their horrible error. They start looking around, wildly "Norman...Coordinate!"
I always end with "everythingnot illegal will be made manditory."

Posted by: Dr. McCoy at November 26, 2014 01:10 PM (F192H)

161 Before going to dinner, grind your canine teeth into little nubs with a Dremel and show them "the science" that you're meant to be a vegan.

Posted by: Vox at November 26, 2014 01:10 PM (MNq6o)

162 I saw Pro Pirates open for A Flock of Seagulls, Dresden, 1984

Posted by: Citizen X at November 26, 2014 01:10 PM (7ObY1)

163 131 That's pretty solid. I only bother with the arguments when there are others watching. My goal is not to change a Leftist's mind, my goal is to bait said Leftist into revealing to onlookers that just beneath the calm, elitist surface, there lies a raging lunatic.
Posted by: mugiwara at November 26, 2014 12:53 PM (D5hxK)



My approach generally is to disengage, but occasionally, when I'm in gnarly mood, I'll engage by asking questions (in as emotionally neutral a fashion as possible) that point up the inconsistencies in his position, and lead him to the conclusion I want him to draw. You're not going to convert anyone on the spot, but by doing this I try to avoid raising ego defenses and to plant the seed that might someday germinate.

Posted by: Jay Guevara at November 26, 2014 01:10 PM (oKE6c)

164 All the left needs is an official catechism and some specialized garments, and then they can go from tax-supported organizations to tax-exempt organizations.

Seriously, they are literally preaching a religion. One that must be followed through faith.

Posted by: Vashta Nerada at November 26, 2014 01:11 PM (/i3Yt)

165 besides, everything Thanksgiving is Horrid according to the left. So WHY are they at the table?

Posted by: willow at November 26, 2014 01:11 PM (nqBYe)

166 As liberal SIL was leaving, she turned back and looked right at my conservative MIL and said "*sigh* I hate George Bush" and then walked out the door.

Posted by: Lauren at November 26, 2014 01:09 PM (BPMYx)


______________________________


Makes it easier to tell them to f off when the burning times come.

Get your own food.

Posted by: Bob from table9 at November 26, 2014 01:11 PM (WNERA)

167 Just tell your liberal guests that the turkey was killed as turkey-veal, and caged it's entire life, finally ending up being slaughtered by terminal waterboarding.

Bon Apetite, filthy hippy!



Jim
Sunk New Dawn
Galveston, TX

Posted by: Jim at November 26, 2014 01:11 PM (7x4lH)

168 According to WaPo, soon enough you won't have to
worry about progs at your holiday dinners. The new hip and trendy thing
to do is tell your family to fuck off since you're spending the holidays
with friends.



Link is at Drudge.

Posted by: Mr. Moo Moo


SEAL THE BUBBLE!!! REPEAT - SEAL THE BUBBLE!!!

Posted by: Vox at November 26, 2014 01:11 PM (MNq6o)

169 >> They inject their idiotic politics into every fucking occasion without a shred of embarrassment.

I don't have to deal with it much, but I do remember a time when someone went off about the Iraq war and how she hated it and we shouldn't be there, blah blah blah.

I just smiled politely but weakly and let her finish cutting my hair. She'd started on the rant because I'd mentioned my husband was in Iraq.

I wonder if she was surprised I never came back for another haircut...

Posted by: Mama AJ at November 26, 2014 01:11 PM (0xTsz)

170 Dear Vox,

One question:

Can I eat fucking sand?

and a follow-up:

Can I eat fucking sand through my fucking ears?

Thank you for your timely response,

Your retard "Science Loving" Demographic
Posted by: ace at November 26, 2014 01:06 PM (/FnUH)


One: Organic or processed?

Two: Are your ears clean?

Posted by: Vox digs deeper at November 26, 2014 01:12 PM (IXrOn)

171 I've endured literally decades of indulging and humoring clueless family on "politics" (I don't do politics, which is sports and tribalism for the NPR-shallow, but I spent my whole life studying and involved in policy, and reality). I never - never - raise anything remotely related to "politics". I deflect almost everything raised by the clueless family.

Cut them off? Not completely, though the desire to interact (close family) has suffered a tremendous drop-off, esp. since 2004-ish. Much more of this with friends, where the falling out, though gradual, has been fairly dramatic.

And of course I don't demonize these people. But I have lost all respect for them as citizens. Their ignorance, shallow thinking, and conformity with the increasingly alien, toxic, and idiotic public culture and public square have caused so much damage, I just can't look at them the same.

My metaphor for this situation, which I coined in response to a truly pinch-yourself-is-this-real policy discussion in DC about the Iraq war, is that I am basically "an undercover FBI agent at a Klan rally". That is how offensive and stupid the average "opinion" of "educated", prosperous, coastal clueless tribal lib NPR dopes has become.


And this was before, for example, their idiocy put health insurance out of my reach for the first time in my life, or subjected me to onerous and expensive immigration procedures for my wife while illegals are effectively exempted from it all. (oh, and of course, they love the wife, and ask the most idiotic questions about immigration process)

Posted by: rhomboid at November 26, 2014 01:12 PM (afQnV)

172 Last Thanksgiving my loony leftist family members got all up in my face about Ted Cruuuuuz, O-Care and I forget what else.

Sigh.

I'd rather spend this Thanksgiving deer hunting. Alone.

Posted by: Citizen X at November 26, 2014 01:13 PM (7ObY1)

173 If libs start talking politics I just tell them to shut the fu*k up

Posted by: Doug at November 26, 2014 01:13 PM (H6fvX)

174
I have no leftists to make fun of at Thanksgiving.

*chagrins at my misfortune*

Posted by: Guy Mohawk at November 26, 2014 01:13 PM (NtzGn)

175 The next logical progression of this is a video featuring Jon Stewart showing the right way to do this ala 80's safety videos.

Posted by: Chupacabras at November 26, 2014 01:13 PM (RQDhf)

176 I counter with 9 9 9

Posted by: Herman Caine at November 26, 2014 01:13 PM (XzRw1)

177 I don't argue with my family. Well, we discuss but I always stop short of arguing on holidays. Buzz kill for everyone.

But I am getting a kick out of watching the metamorphosis my niece and nephews are going through now that they are coming of age. That "holy shit, I can't believe how much money they took out of my paycheck" doesn't even require a comment, just a smile. And Obamacare isn't free. Did you know that? My nephew recently figured that one out.

Experience is a hell of a teacher.

Posted by: JackStraw at November 26, 2014 01:13 PM (g1DWB)

178 What I meant to say was "Please pass the mashed potatoes" but it just came out: "DIE you m**f***g commie scumbag!!!!"
Sorry.

Posted by: NYC Parent at November 26, 2014 01:13 PM (HEo6y)

179 Mama AJ i guess we should be thankful she didn't throw in' Baby killer.'

honestly these people have nothing but a wack political ideology to sustain them.

Posted by: willow at November 26, 2014 01:13 PM (nqBYe)

180 Or Troy McClure. You know, if he weren't dead.

Posted by: Chupacabras at November 26, 2014 01:14 PM (F26eZ)

181 Christ, what a piece of work she is. Methinks hubby #1 might have gotten the best of the deal. She sounds toxic as hell.
--
She's quite attractive. Kept her figure despite 3 kids.

I remember she used to fight with her old husband when they had financial problems cause she wouldn't quit her 2x a week yoga classes and refused to shop at anyplace but the organic grocery store. (I only know this cause I know another relative she used to sponge money off of.)

They lived in an expensive hipster college town. That's how she met the doctor at the local medical school. She was always taking lots of classes and courses and stuff.

Posted by: Costanza Defense at November 26, 2014 01:14 PM (zwdxl)

182 What is Vox but an internet-age Jack Chick tract for progressives to link to?

Posted by: Rocketeer at November 26, 2014 01:15 PM (mUWtd)

183 #177 That "holy shit, I can't believe how much money they took out of my paycheck" doesn't even require a comment, just a smile.


Ah, the famous first moment of clarity for many young Lefties.

Posted by: Citizen X at November 26, 2014 01:15 PM (7ObY1)

184 >.As liberal SIL was leaving, she turned back and looked right at my conservative MIL and said "*sigh* I hate George Bush" and then walked out the door.

Wow, that's low.

Posted by: Mama AJ at November 26, 2014 01:15 PM (0xTsz)

185 Pro tip: serve turducken, and make sure the entire family knows it in advance. It is to vegans and PETA fanatics what holy water and sunshine are to vampires. They don't even come over. Problem solved.

Posted by: Keith Arnold at November 26, 2014 01:15 PM (iIzG7)

186 Posted by: ace at November 26, 2014 01:06 PM (/FnUH)

No, you may not eat sand, as that is the property of our Muslim brothers in the Sahara, which as you don't know is the largest desert in the Middle East.

Posted by: Voxsplanation at November 26, 2014 01:16 PM (Zu3d9)

187 The new hip and trendy thing to do is tell your family to fuck off since you're spending the holidays with friends.

There was an Ask Prudie a few weeks ago about a dad who wanted his HS senior daughter to have Thanksgiving at home with her parents and younger siblings, the last one before she goes to college, but she wanted to go on a ski weekend with her boyfriend and his mother, and being a Slate reader he was too namby-pamby to just be a father and wrote to ask for advice about convincing her. Prudie's response and comments were all "she's already having sex, and she's a grown-up, so what's the big deal?"

(Prudie's like the gateway, man. You start reading because everyone who writes in is so fucked up it's funny, and the next thing you know you're reading all the articles, because they're all so fucked up.)

Posted by: HR needs donuts at November 26, 2014 01:16 PM (ZKzrr)

188 When lib relative attempts to convert you, just wait till they take a break.

Then look at them knowingly, smile that sad smile and say "Bless your heart, you really are just as stupid as I always thought you were."

Shake your head and move on.

Posted by: Suppressed Flasher at November 26, 2014 01:16 PM (X+nFp)

189 Frankly, at any one of my relatives' homes, if someone started spewing liberal crap, they would be asked to leave. No exceptions, doesn't matter the holiday. The one liberal in the family was told early and often that she was welcome to any family gathering as long as she kept her mouth shut about politics, religion, or morality, otherwise she should stay home.

Posted by: Vashta Nerada at November 26, 2014 01:16 PM (/i3Yt)

190 The shorted paycheck is one thing, but what's really opening young people's eyes is the fact they can't get jobs after paying all that money for school.

Posted by: Chupacabras at November 26, 2014 01:16 PM (F26eZ)

191 Returned home to east TX yesterday. Tomorrow will tell relatives to put tomatoes, beans, and oh yes, carrots in their chili. That should get me an immediate ticket back to new england

Posted by: RIK at November 26, 2014 01:16 PM (d0xrI)

192 The trick to thwart libs at the dinner table is to slowly replace your silverware knife with a heavily used Kabar. A look like Nicholson in the Shining helps as well.

Posted by: Thin veneer of civility at November 26, 2014 01:17 PM (XzRw1)

193 95 Hearing about y'alls families makes me realize just how damn lucky I
am to have the family I do. We have no progressives, no vegans, no
simpering academics, no wymyns studies graduates, and no rabid
gun-grabbers. Thanksgiving is a great time at my folks' house.



I love my family.

Posted by: Arthur C. Cognomen, Thankful and Stuff at November 26, 2014 12:58 PM



Same here. I'm the only academic, and I don't simper!

I recently visited relatives in FL whom I hadn't seen in years, and it turned out that they're conservative as well. My relative's wife smiled and said, "We're so relieved. An academic, from CA, and we thought we'd spend the visit having to bite our tongues."

Posted by: Jay Guevara at November 26, 2014 01:17 PM (oKE6c)

194 "And so one of the best, least religious holidays in the calendar"

They are the gracious gifts
of the Most High God, who, while dealing with us in anger for
our sins, hath nevertheless remembered mercy. It has seemed to
me fit and proper that they should be solemnly, reverently and
gratefully acknowledged as with one heart and one voice by the
whole American People. I do therefore invite my fellow citizens
in every part of the United States, and also those who are at
sea and those who are sojourning in foreign lands, to set apart
and observe the last Thursday of November next, as a day of
Thanksgiving and Praise to our beneficent Father who dwelleth
in the Heavens. -Mr Lincoln

Yeah, not religious. At. All.

Posted by: jd at November 26, 2014 01:17 PM (y53d1)

195 P.J. O'Rourke handicaps the 2016 race.
Trigger warning: Boston Globe

http://tinyurl.com/nf3oexn

Posted by: The Great White Snark at November 26, 2014 01:17 PM (XUKZU)

196 Returned home to east TX yesterday. Tomorrow will tell relatives to put
tomatoes, beans, and oh yes, carrots in their chili. That should get me
an immediate ticket back to new england to the cemetery


FIFY.

Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) with a new job at November 26, 2014 01:18 PM (kff5f)

197 What I meant to say was "Please pass the mashed potatoes" but it just came out: "DIE you m**f***g commie scumbag!!!!"
-----------------

Oops. Just slipped out.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at November 26, 2014 01:18 PM (F2IAQ)

198 189 Frankly, at any one of my relatives' homes, if someone started spewing liberal crap, they would be asked to leave. No exceptions, doesn't matter the holiday. The one liberal in the family was told early and often that she was welcome to any family gathering as long as she kept her mouth shut about politics, religion, or morality, otherwise she should stay home.
Posted by: Vashta Nerada at November 26, 2014 01:16 PM (/i3Yt)



Old school, and still most appropriate.

Posted by: Jay Guevara at November 26, 2014 01:18 PM (oKE6c)

199

the only people I see actively seeking religious conversion is ISIS

Posted by: ThunderB at November 26, 2014 01:18 PM (zOTsN)

200 If you're like me, you'll just sit there all thanksgiving and listen to everyone not give a shit about your political opinions.

Posted by: el fucko at November 26, 2014 01:18 PM (T1lV8)

201 She's quite attractive. Kept her figure despite 3 kids.

Posted by: Costanza Defense at November 26, 2014 01:14 PM (zwdxl)

Got any pictures? Naked, or at least topless would be best.

Posted by: Typical Moron at November 26, 2014 01:18 PM (Zu3d9)

202 187 Posted by: HR needs donuts at November 26, 2014 01:16 PM (ZKzrr)

Hints from Heloise leads to the strong stuff...like Penthouse Forum....

it starts with ideas on how to remove grass stains and winds up in some fucked up Requiem for a Dream director's cut...

//Marie Osmond

Posted by: Sven S Blade a.k.a. El Assassin@sven10077 at November 26, 2014 01:18 PM (/4AZU)

203 Jay, I admire your patience and forebearance, but your technique would be futile with my family (well, the worst offenders). They are micron-deep tribal libs, even though not people one would consider "political" in general.

But there'd be zero chance of a socratic process planting even a single seed of reason to germinate. Their whole framework - factual and analytical - is so warped and delusional that there's no place to start.

Of course their "beliefs" could be easily destroyed and ridiculed with minimal examination, but the result would be predictable.

And of course, the only light in this darkness, a brother in law of a brother, dropped dead not long ago. Smart guy with a much more serious background and outlook, we used to huddle and chat at these events. Now even that outlet is gone, so back to smiling and disengaging and my lack of respect deepening (is that an expression?) with every uninformed, idiotic (and unprovoked) comment.

Posted by: rhomboid at November 26, 2014 01:19 PM (afQnV)

204 The next logical progression of this is a video featuring Jon Stewart showing the right way to do this ala 80's safety videos.>>>

With Primitive Pete the Republican.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qkse0OBDIVQ

Posted by: Buzzsaw at November 26, 2014 01:19 PM (Mxs5H)

205 Dear VOX,

Last year when the company handed out turkeys, I forgot to take mine home for the holiday weekend, only to discover my mistake the following Monday. Is the turkey still edible?

Thanks, and seasons greetings.

Posted by: Uncle Fritz at November 26, 2014 01:19 PM (UzPAd)

206 ...O-Care... Posted by: Citizen X


Ask them how their rates are this year.

Posted by: dogfish at November 26, 2014 01:19 PM (1vYi0)

207 104 Ask them why fifty years after the War on Poverty we are having Ferguson riots.
Posted by: ---
-----------------

Stock answer, "We haven't spent enough."
Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at November 26, 2014 12:59 PM (F2IAQ)



Could always reply, "Just like Iraq, we should declare 'victory' and end the war".

Posted by: Ashley Judd's Puffy Scamper, formerly MrCaniac at November 26, 2014 01:19 PM (+Fae7)

208 But I am getting a kick out of watching the metamorphosis my niece and nephews are going through now that they are coming of age. That "holy shit, I can't believe how much money they took out of my paycheck" doesn't even require a comment, just a smile. And Obamacare isn't free. Did you know that? My nephew recently figured that one out.

Experience is a hell of a teacher.
Posted by: JackStraw at November 26, 2014 01:13 PM (g1DWB)

____________

One of my 2 idiot brothers in law (my wife's brother) is in his late 20s. He was all for Obamacare when it was being debated. So was my idiot mother in law (his mother) because it would help people just like him. People like him, 5 years ago, meant working in a dead end job making $8/hr with no insurance.

Well fast forward 5 years and now to his credit he sorta got his shit together and is in a not so dead end job making decent money. And what do you know, now that he's not a bum, Obamacare isn't such a great deal anymore since he makes too much money to get the subsidy and it costs $250/mo and covers things he doesn't need covered.

My MIL brings this up all the time how unfair it is that her poor little baby has to pay all this money for health insurance. And I am always tempted to scream, YES IT IS EXACTLY WHAT I PREDICTED YOU FUCKING MORON!!. But I don't for 2 reasons.

1) I enjoy sex with my wife and if I did that, I would probably no longer be having sex

and

2) I know that she knows I was right and she was wrong and that's satisfaction enough.

Posted by: Mr. Moo Moo at November 26, 2014 01:20 PM (0LHZx)

209 An academic, from CA, and we thought we'd spend the visit having to bite our tongues."

Posted by: Jay Guevara at November 26, 2014 01:17 PM (oKE6c)

I'm sure you fit in quite well at the Academic Senate meetings.

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at November 26, 2014 01:20 PM (Zu3d9)

210 Good example of how they play.
This was a left-wing book publisher trying to stir up a lynch mob against Brad Thor.

A little failed attempt at black-balling with lots of fake claims of racism, sexism, and intimidation.


TwitchyTeam @TwitchyTeam 11h
Lefty victim-class attacks Brad Thor for retweeting a critic http://bit.ly/1uVqOSN

Posted by: Costanza Defense at November 26, 2014 01:20 PM (zwdxl)

211 I'd rather spend this Thanksgiving deer hunting. Alone.


There are worse things.

Posted by: HR needs donuts at November 26, 2014 01:21 PM (ZKzrr)

212
Yeah, not religious. At. All.
Posted by: jd
---------------

Yeah that was my first thought also. And, Geo. Washington... :

"Whereas it is the duty of all nations to acknowledge the providence of Almighty God, to obey His will, to be grateful for His benefits, and humbly to implore His protection and favor; and Whereas both Houses of Congress have, by their joint committee, requested me to "recommend to the people of the United States a day of public thanksgiving and prayer, to be observed by acknowledging with grateful hearts the many and signal favors of Almighty God, especially by affording them an opportunity peaceably to establish a form of government for their safety and happiness"

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at November 26, 2014 01:21 PM (F2IAQ)

213 And frankly I have a much bigger argument on my hands tomorrow. Everyone at the table will be a Patriots fan save me, the Jets fan. Obviously, facts are not on my side in this kerfuffle so I will be once again forced to threaten my heirs with leaving all of my worldly goods to a bag lady if they insist on taunting me.

Posted by: JackStraw at November 26, 2014 01:22 PM (g1DWB)

214
1) I enjoy sex with my wife and if I did that, I would probably no longer be having sex

Damn newly wed.

Posted by: wrg500 at November 26, 2014 01:22 PM (sWgE+)

215 Good:
185
Pro tip: serve turducken, and make sure the entire family knows it in
advance. It is to vegans and PETA fanatics what holy water and sunshine
are to vampires. They don't even come over. Problem solved.

Better:
Serve tofurkey, but after you've all finished, tell them you lied and it was really a turkey. An oppressed one.

Posted by: pep at November 26, 2014 01:22 PM (YXmuI)

216 with any luck the bad weather will cancel their flights and force them to stay in their liberal enclaves

Posted by: ThunderB at November 26, 2014 01:22 PM (zOTsN)

217 And frankly I have a much bigger argument on my hands tomorrow. Everyone at the table will be a Patriots fan save me, the Jets fan. Obviously, facts are not on my side in this kerfuffle so I will be once again forced to threaten my heirs with leaving all of my worldly goods to a bag lady if they insist on taunting me.
Posted by: JackStraw

Eagles are playing the Cowboys. I want them both to lose.

Posted by: Blue Hen at November 26, 2014 01:23 PM (Spluw)

218 Hey everyone, I need your help. My sweet lib friend likes all her guests to say what they're thankful for. I was thinking of raising my glass and being profoundly grateful for the quintuple orgasm with dismount I experienced during Trey Gowdy's grilling of IRS Chief Koskinen.

My second choice: Thankful for the coming Rove/Palin theocracy.

Any others? The more scary neocon grand guignol, the better!

Posted by: All Hail Eris at November 26, 2014 01:23 PM (QBm1P)

219

Play the John Boehner video of him Boehx-plaining how to brine a turkey, then roast it.

I swear, if you haven't seen it yet. I laughed the whole time.

He has grandpa jeans on, for sure.

The Boehner Brine

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7rnrlikPjeQ

http://www.speaker.gov/general/speaker-boehners-thanksgiving-recipes

Posted by: artisanal 'ette at November 26, 2014 01:23 PM (IXrOn)

220 Then tell the kid's table Santa is a CAPITALIST LIE!!!!!


-
AND KARL MARX IS THE THRUTH!!!!!!

Posted by: The Great White Snark at November 26, 2014 01:23 PM (XUKZU)

221 212 And, FDR:

I, Franklin D. Roosevelt, President of the United States of America, do set aside and appoint Thursday, the thirtieth day of November 1933, to be a Day of Thanksgiving for all our people.

May we on that day in our churches and in our homes give humble thanks for the blessings bestowed upon us during the year past by Almighty God.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at November 26, 2014 01:24 PM (F2IAQ)

222 212 Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at November 26, 2014 01:21 PM (F2IAQ)

Ixnay the reiligious-ay....

otherwise we'll have to read from the Loran in California, NY, and MA "in fairness and togetherness"...

Thanksgiving in all its historic forms was an example of America humbling herself before God and acknowledging His grace and providence...

shit we don't really do anymore..

Posted by: Sven S Blade a.k.a. El Assassin@sven10077 at November 26, 2014 01:24 PM (/4AZU)

223 Aside from a couple of family members that share my conservative, freedom loving point of view, everyone is a dyed in the wool lefty. So I do not engage them should they bring up these sorts of charged topics. Not because I dislike a good issues argument, but because Thanksgiving day is not the appropriate time.

Thanksgiving is a day set aside for being thankful, for eating and drinking, for visiting with family to catch up on things, and for watching football. The only reason they want to talk with me about these topics is so they can tell me what they think and how I should think like them. Sorry, no thank you.

So if one of them raises the topic I will purse my lips slightly, nod respectfully, and then get up to re-fill my plate or glass, or go pee.

Posted by: steve walsh at November 26, 2014 01:24 PM (ANvDa)

224 Any others? The more scary neocon grand guignol, the better!

Posted by: All Hail Eris at November 26, 2014 01:23 PM (QBm1P)



The overturning of Rowe v. Wade via Executive Order from President Perry.

Posted by: BCochran1981 Esq. at November 26, 2014 01:24 PM (da5Wo)

225 *sigh* Proggies. You have to be more sympathetic towards them, because
they're underprivileged. They envy us our freedoms, our prosperity,
and our large right-wing penises.

Posted by: Keith Arnold at November 26, 2014 01:24 PM (iIzG7)

226 Posted by: JackStraw at November 26, 2014 01:22 PM (g1DWB)

Are you a Knicks fan also?

If so, then just talk politics. It will be much more pleasant.

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at November 26, 2014 01:24 PM (Zu3d9)

227 Patriots/Jets play tomorrow? Fact: Cowboys and Lions always play on Thanksgiving (not each other).

Posted by: dogfish at November 26, 2014 01:24 PM (1vYi0)

228 57 varieties of fucked up over at Slate.
http://is.gd/C81HPQ

Posted by: HR needs donuts at November 26, 2014 01:24 PM (ZKzrr)

229 I will be once again forced to threaten my heirs with leaving all of my worldly goods to a bag lady if they insist on taunting me.
Posted by: JackStraw at November 26, 2014 01:22 PM (g1DWB)

why hello there!

shows my handbag.

Posted by: willow at November 26, 2014 01:24 PM (nqBYe)

230 And frankly I have a much bigger argument on my hands tomorrow. Everyone at the table will be a Patriots fan save me, the Jets fan. Obviously, facts are not on my side in this kerfuffle so I will be once again forced to threaten my heirs with leaving all of my worldly goods to a bag lady if they insist on taunting me.
Posted by: JackStraw at November 26, 2014 01:22 PM (g1DWB)



I think it is very cruel of them to kick you when you are down there like that. Very mean. Who would do such a thing?

In a completely unrelated note, did you know the Browns are 7-4?

Posted by: alexthechick - Commence drinking now. at November 26, 2014 01:25 PM (mf5HN)

231 Loran would be funnier but I typo'd Koran...

I do not want a Thanksgiving "Kwanzaa" developing....


Posted by: Sven S Blade a.k.a. El Assassin@sven10077 at November 26, 2014 01:25 PM (/4AZU)

232
"Before you focus on any point of disagreement, ask questions of your interlocutor to figure out why they think the way they do about the subject at hand."

He misspelled "be condescending because everyone loves that".

Posted by: Thank God all my family is sane at November 26, 2014 01:25 PM (Z2OIC)

233 My primer for lefty thanksgiving .

1. Get them to bring up their support of PETA then ask them to carve the Turkey.

2. Get them to bring up Global warming and then ask them if they could help you shovel the sidewalk.

3. Have them bring up gay Marriage and then tell them you agree and are thinking of getting a couple more wives.

4. Have them bring up Obamacare and ask them if they could show you how easy it is to register and get the premium prices on your computer.

Posted by: Bob Belcher at November 26, 2014 01:25 PM (3QAtO)

234 My problem at any family (and many social) gatherings is that I have an exceedingly difficult time biting back my stock response to blinding idiocy:

"Are you really that fucking stupid?"

One thing good is that it really quiets a room.

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at November 26, 2014 01:25 PM (Zu3d9)

235 Emergency kilt repair kit... SNORT!

Posted by: Fewenuff at November 26, 2014 01:26 PM (zPNX5)

236 shit we don't really do anymore..
Posted by: Sven
------------

Gosh..., historically there has been a price to pay in consequence. But..., not now, right?

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at November 26, 2014 01:26 PM (F2IAQ)

237 Washington Examiner @dcexaminer
Analyst: Turkey prices three times higher than inflation, ethanol mandates cited
washex.am/1HG9Dd1 pic.twitter.com/IUOvMTofxT

Posted by: Costanza Defense at November 26, 2014 01:26 PM (zwdxl)

238 the biggest fight at thanksgiving is always the football vs basketball battle and the mom's desire to turn off the tv battle.

Posted by: joe-impeachin44 at November 26, 2014 01:26 PM (N///B)

239 Its fitting that T-Day is celebrated with retards. Remember, it was a bunch of daffy Pilgrims that landed at the wrong place and nearly starved to death due to their collectivism and had to be bailed out by a bunch of Indians looking for armaments to use against some other Indians that created the first T-Day. This was 1621 and Maryland, Virginia and the Carolinas had been settled and were exporting tobacco to the Euros for nearly 60 years. Hint, no starvation in normal land. But I am an embittered white guy clinging to guns and bibles and objective history.

Posted by: Super Creepy Rob Lowe at November 26, 2014 01:26 PM (oDCMR)

240 My sweet lib friend likes all her guests to say what they're thankful for.

Harry Reid will have more time to devote to young boys now that he'll no longer be Senate Majority Leader.

Posted by: HR needs donuts at November 26, 2014 01:27 PM (ZKzrr)

241 "It's incredible, when you think about it -- they go through the whole
year believing in their progressive catechisms zealously but only bother
to ask Why do we believe this progressive religious nonsense again?
one single day of the year, the one single day of the year where they
fear they might be questioned about their religious beliefs."


The thing that terrifies them is that they might stop believing and if they stop believing they will lose all their left wing friends.


Leftists are even more ruthless about shunning for religious apostasy than the Amish. If they don't demonstrate enthusiastic support for each and every aspect of today's leftist orthodoxy every day, they will be subjected to at least a brutal reeducation session followed by self criticism and if that doesn't get them back on the straight and narrow, they will be hated out, abandoned and shunned.


You have seen how leftists act on the internet towards those they disagree with. That is how they treat one of their own who succumbs to doubt.


To some extent, leftists have succeeded in turning university campuses into something like Scientology cult centers. If you go along and submit, you will be rewarded with companionship, camaraderie and sex. If you dare to voice a discordant opinion, that will all be cut off.


The terror of the Thanksgiving dinner is that they might be polluted with unclean ideas and be left alone, friendless and abandoned.

Posted by: Obnoxious A-Hole at November 26, 2014 01:27 PM (PD6iL)

242
Any others? The more scary neocon grand guignol, the better!

Executive order making the U.S. coneal carry on demand nation wide.

Posted by: wrg500 at November 26, 2014 01:27 PM (sWgE+)

243 The overturning of Rowe v. Wade via Executive Order from President Perry.
Posted by: BCochran1981 Esq. at November 26, 2014 01:24 PM (da5Wo)

I think I just came. BRB...

Posted by: Insomniac at November 26, 2014 01:27 PM (DrWcr)

244
Could always reply, "Just like Iraq, we should declare 'victory' and end the war".

-
Libs always want to announce pull out dates for wars. Let announce a pull out date for the War on Poverty, say Easter 2015.

Posted by: The Great White Snark at November 26, 2014 01:27 PM (XUKZU)

245 Emergency kilt repair kit... SNORT!
Posted by: Fewenuff
--------------

They don't call it Scotch Tape for no reason.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at November 26, 2014 01:27 PM (F2IAQ)

246 Posted by: JackStraw at November 26, 2014 01:22 PM (g1DWB)Are you a Knicks fan also?If so, then just talk politics. It will be much more pleasant.
Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo
En fuego!

Posted by: The guy that shouts En fuego! at November 26, 2014 01:27 PM (Spluw)

247 Posted by: Blue Hen at November 26, 2014 01:23 PM (Spluw)


Giants fan?

I, liking my blood pressure right where it is, will not be watching the Cowboys/Eagles game.

Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) with a new job at November 26, 2014 01:27 PM (kff5f)

248 Give thanks for the inevitable Conservative Supreme Court appointments in the new Perry Administration.



Jim
Sunk New Dawn
Galveston, TX

Posted by: Jim at November 26, 2014 01:27 PM (7x4lH)

249
"What is Vox but an internet-age Jack Chick tract for progressives to link to?"

DING DING DING! We have a thread-winner!

Posted by: Brown Line at November 26, 2014 01:27 PM (zcbZo)

250 203 Jay, I admire your patience and forebearance, but your technique would be futile with my family (well, the worst offenders). They are micron-deep tribal libs, even though not people one would consider "political" in general.

But there'd be zero chance of a socratic process planting even a single seed of reason to germinate. Their whole framework - factual and analytical - is so warped and delusional that there's no place to start.

Of course their "beliefs" could be easily destroyed and ridiculed with minimal examination, but the result would be predictable.

Posted by: rhomboid at November 26, 2014 01:19 PM (afQnV)



In candor, rhomboid, I often can't muster the patience or forbearance either, and instead sit quietly and imagine my interlocutor with an ax stuck in his skull. The trick to the Socratic method is not to make any assertions whatever, much less destroy or ridicule their beliefs, but merely to request information, ideally in such a neutral fashion that an impartial observer can't tell what your beliefs are. But it does take a special frame of mind to do this. Other times, I go with imagining the ax.

Posted by: Jay Guevara at November 26, 2014 01:27 PM (oKE6c)

251 >>In a completely unrelated note, did you know the Browns are 7-4?

With a head coach who left the Jets in frustration.

I'm being taunted by Browns fans now. The circle of humiliation is complete.

Posted by: JackStraw at November 26, 2014 01:28 PM (g1DWB)

252 Posted by: alexthechick - Commence drinking now. at November 26, 2014 01:25 PM (mf5HN)

I think their opponents have a combined record of 23 and 99.

Posted by: Bob Belcher at November 26, 2014 01:28 PM (3QAtO)

253 Browns, Patriots, Cowboys, Jets?

If you're feeling particularly gracious and thankful tomorrow, and feel the need to do something truly compassionate, go downtown and show some sympathy to a Raiders fan. I would, if I knew any.

Posted by: Keith Arnold at November 26, 2014 01:28 PM (iIzG7)

254 will not be watching the Cowboys/Eagles game.
Posted by: AllenG

Heretic.

Posted by: dogfish at November 26, 2014 01:28 PM (1vYi0)

255
This always worked great for me:

1) Find the niece's Ez-Bake oven, hide it in obscure spot.

2) Insert flip-flop in Ez-Bake oven 30 minutes before meal time and turn oven on high.

3) Enjoy ensuing hilarity!

Posted by: Ed Anger at November 26, 2014 01:28 PM (RcpcZ)

256 have they distributed the Ferguson script yet?

Posted by: ThunderB at November 26, 2014 01:28 PM (zOTsN)

257 The overturning of Rowe v. Wade via Executive Order from President Perry.
Posted by: BCochran1981 Esq. at November 26, 2014 01:24 PM (da5Wo)
-----------
Nice, nice! I'm jotting this one down for sure. Tehran, Texas, what's the difference?

Posted by: All Hail Eris at November 26, 2014 01:28 PM (QBm1P)

258 Libs always want to announce pull out dates for wars. Let announce a pull out date for the War on Poverty, say Easter 2015.
Posted by: The Great White Snark at November 26, 2014 01:27 PM (XUKZU)




How about proposing a surge in the War on Women?

Posted by: Jay Guevara at November 26, 2014 01:29 PM (oKE6c)

259 234 Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at November 26, 2014 01:25 PM (Zu3d9)

"I wish you fuckers could be launched into the sun" works too...

236 Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at November 26, 2014 01:26 PM (F2IAQ)

God has put English on the ball in our favor several times, I suspect He is entering a far more apathetic stage at best WRT the US and we should pray His interest does not get too keen.

We rewarded a party that booed him thrice, and shower a fan of infanticide with glory and high offices.

He is not amused I am certain.

Posted by: Sven S Blade a.k.a. El Assassin@sven10077 at November 26, 2014 01:29 PM (/4AZU)

260 Posted by: Bob Belcher at November 26, 2014 01:28 PM (3QAtO)

I'm just pissed because I've bought my Johnny Football Browns cap and he's sitting behind a below average QB while every scrub QB around the league has started a game.

Posted by: Bob Belcher at November 26, 2014 01:29 PM (3QAtO)

261 My primer for lefty thanksgiving . 3. Have them bring up gay Marriage and then tell them you agree and are thinking of getting a couple more wives.
Posted by: Bob Belcher

You sir, are a genius. And my wife might inally stir herself to rein in her family.

Posted by: Blue Hen at November 26, 2014 01:30 PM (Spluw)

262 You have seen how leftists act on the internet towards those they
disagree with. That is how they treat one of their own who succumbs to
doubt.


**cough, Chuck Schumer**

Posted by: pep at November 26, 2014 01:30 PM (YXmuI)

263 >>Are you a Knicks fan also?

>>If so, then just talk politics. It will be much more pleasant.

I've never been able to work up any enthusiasm for pro-basketball. This might change if the Jets and Mets continue to suck and the Knicks start to do well. Any port in a storm and all that.

But I will always have my Rangers and their commitment to mediocrity interspersed with moments of transcendent joy every couple decades followed by horror.

Posted by: JackStraw at November 26, 2014 01:31 PM (g1DWB)

264 When evangelical progressives sit down at the Thanksgiving table, do they say grace? I wonder what kind of prayer they pray? Who do they "Thank" at Thanksgiving?

Posted by: grammie winger at November 26, 2014 01:31 PM (3B+O8)

265 With a head coach who left the Jets in frustration.

I'm being taunted by Browns fans now. The circle of humiliation is complete.
Posted by: JackStraw at November 26, 2014 01:28 PM (g1DWB)



If it makes you feel any better, these actual human emotions the Browns are making me have make me really itchy.

Posted by: alexthechick - Commence drinking now. at November 26, 2014 01:31 PM (mf5HN)

266 Leftists are even more ruthless about shunning for
religious apostasy than the Amish. If they don't demonstrate
enthusiastic support for each and every aspect of today's leftist
orthodoxy every day, they will be subjected to at least a brutal
reeducation session followed by self criticism and if that doesn't get
them back on the straight and narrow, they will be hated out, abandoned
and shunned.



Posted by: Obnoxious A-Hole at November 26, 2014 01:27 PM (PD6iL)

Is being shunned by leftists a bug or a feature?

Posted by: Jay Guevara at November 26, 2014 01:31 PM (oKE6c)

267 "How about proposing a surge in the War on Women?"

The one war in which there will not be a pull-out date, IYKWIMAITYD.

Posted by: Keith Arnold at November 26, 2014 01:31 PM (iIzG7)

268 If you want to shut the leftoid at the table up if they get froggy ask them why Preznit Urkle X extending the 'ghani mission by another year and "expanding the combat role thereof" is "no big deal really"...

b/c I'm pretty sure they said hell or high water they were leaving this year.

Posted by: Sven S Blade a.k.a. El Assassin@sven10077 at November 26, 2014 01:31 PM (/4AZU)

269 heh
A Progressive Guide to Thanksgiving Conversation http://natl.re/1xTzPN5 via @NRO


2. Your younger sister asks you to pass her the turkey from your end of the table; your older brother asks if you will pour him another glass of the wine you brought to the meal.

Explain to your siblings that you are not a maid just because you have a vagina.

Posted by: Costanza Defense at November 26, 2014 01:31 PM (zwdxl)

270 264 When evangelical progressives sit down at the Thanksgiving table, do they say grace? I wonder what kind of prayer they pray? Who do they "Thank" at Thanksgiving?
Posted by: grammie winger at November 26, 2014 01:31 PM (3B+O

Their Lord and Savior, Barack Hussein Obama.

Posted by: Insomniac at November 26, 2014 01:31 PM (DrWcr)

271
I'm being taunted by Browns fans now. The circle of humiliation is complete.


That is some funny, and sad, stuff right there!

Posted by: Thank God all my family is sane at November 26, 2014 01:32 PM (Z2OIC)

272 If it makes you feel any better, these actual human emotions the Browns are making me have make me really itchy.

Posted by: alexthechick - Commence drinking now. at November 26, 2014 01:31 PM (mf5HN)



*looks at his one victory and has sad*

*sees who the victory was against and perks up*

Posted by: BCochran1981 Esq. at November 26, 2014 01:32 PM (da5Wo)

273 And frankly I have a much bigger argument on my hands tomorrow. Everyone at the table will be a Patriots fan save me, the Jets fan.

BUTT FUMBLE WE MUCH?

Posted by: Al Sharpton at November 26, 2014 01:32 PM (waAG0)

274 It's things like this that make me grateful for my warped childhood. My in-laws have already flown south for the winter (not that I'd fight with them anyway), so it's just me, Steve the Pirate, our kids, and my mildly-senile, mostly-deaf mother.

Anybody I'd argue with has somewhere else to be.

Posted by: Steve the Pirate's Wife at November 26, 2014 01:33 PM (GAZnQ)

275
Posted by: alexthechick - Commence drinking now. at November 26, 2014 01:31 PM (mf5HN)

You miss spelled bitchy.

Posted by: wrg500 at November 26, 2014 01:33 PM (sWgE+)

276 I would, if I knew any.

Posted by: Keith Arnold at November 26, 2014 01:28 PM (iIzG7)

When I lived in California I had an employee who was a rabid Raiders fan, and would go to every home game, tailgate, get hammered, behave like a fool, etc.

He got his ass kicked one day by some other fans (not atypical behavior).

He was an incredible asshole, so while I was not surprised, I was very, very pleased.

The point? Some Raiders fans do good works!

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at November 26, 2014 01:33 PM (Zu3d9)

277 Posted by: Blue Hen at November 26, 2014 01:23 PM (Spluw) Giants fan?I, liking my blood pressure right where it is, will not be watching the Cowboys/Eagles game.
Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) with a new job

Not much of a football fan anymore. Being stuck in Delaware, the mike Vick loving eagle shit is incessant. And I hate the cowboys cince they dumped landry.

Posted by: Blue Hen at November 26, 2014 01:33 PM (Spluw)

278 Give thanks for the day when Attorney General Trey Gowdy convicts Eric Holder for Fast & Furious

Posted by: AltonJackson at November 26, 2014 01:33 PM (2Ayux)

279 The only thing the Left is good at is lecturing people. They are a bunch of humorless scolds.

Posted by: notsothoreau at November 26, 2014 01:33 PM (5HBd1)

280 Wish more Libs/LIVs would practice pulling out more often. As bad as it is there's always Planned Parenthood as our, I mean their fall back solution.

Posted by: Fewenuff at November 26, 2014 01:34 PM (zPNX5)

281 "BUTT FUMBLE WE MUCH?"

I thought Sanchez got traded to the Eagles.

Posted by: Keith Arnold at November 26, 2014 01:34 PM (iIzG7)

282 The wife and I look forward to making her batshit crazy leftist sister cry...I love my wife.

Posted by: Drewbicle at November 26, 2014 01:34 PM (LG2ay)

283 If guest at our table started talking redistribution, everyone else would just help themselves to what ever was on their plate. My family thinks Attila was a leftwing pussy.

Posted by: toby928(C) at November 26, 2014 01:34 PM (rwI+c)

284 And frankly I have a much bigger argument on my hands tomorrow. Everyone at the table will be a Patriots fan save me, the Jets fan.


I love the Jets. They've made The Bills look great twice now this year.

(sorry, couldn't resist!)

Posted by: Citizen X at November 26, 2014 01:35 PM (7ObY1)

285 *looks at his one victory and has sad*

*sees who the victory was against and perks up*
Posted by: BCochran1981 Esq. at November 26, 2014 01:32 PM (da5Wo)



I say this from the bottom of my soul shaped cavity.


May the chupacabra emfucken you all your life long days and then continue doing so until your corpse breaks down into its component atoms.

Posted by: alexthechick - Commence drinking now. at November 26, 2014 01:35 PM (mf5HN)

286 Posted by: JackStraw at November 26, 2014 01:31 PM (g1DWB)

Yeah....pro basketball is a distillation of all that is wrong with professional sports.

Are you local, or have you moved away from this incredible shithole called the NY metro area?

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at November 26, 2014 01:35 PM (Zu3d9)

287 It's incredible, when you think about it -- they go through the whole year believing in their progressive catechisms zealously but only bother to ask Why do we believe this progressive religious nonsense again? one single day of the year, the one single day of the year where they fear they might be questioned about their religious beliefs.

They mock religion every chance they get - but for those of us who deliberately follow a religion, it's obvious they too have subscribed to a religion.

A shoddy, cut-rate, incoherent one.

Posted by: CM at November 26, 2014 01:36 PM (0NdlF)

288 Why do the Jets exist? Is it a moral parable on humility or something? Never figured that one out.

Posted by: Super Creepy Rob Lowe at November 26, 2014 01:36 PM (oDCMR)

289 I have no leftist relatives. Sometimes I wish I did just so I could refuse to visit them.

Posted by: Berserker-Dragonheads Division at November 26, 2014 01:36 PM (FMbng)

290 Ben Wiker to the white courtesy phone, Ben Wiker to the white courtesy phone.

Seriously you guys, but the book and read it.

Posted by: tsrblke, PhD(c) And father to be in 6 (short) weeks! at November 26, 2014 01:36 PM (HDwDg)

291 though trebucheting mashed potatoes is a viable alternative.

Takes up too much room on the table. Isn't there a glare of disapproval inheritable from a Grandmother available?

Posted by: DaveA at November 26, 2014 01:36 PM (DL2i+)

292 Barack is great, Barack is good
Let us thank Him for this fud.

(paraphrased from Laverne & Shirley)

Posted by: Citizen X at November 26, 2014 01:36 PM (7ObY1)

293
Posted by: Citizen X at November 26, 2014 01:35 PM (7ObY1)

38-3 hehehe
38-3 hehehe
38-3 hehehe

Posted by: wrg500 at November 26, 2014 01:36 PM (sWgE+)

294 Give thanks for the day when Attorney General Trey Gowdy convicts Eric Holder for Fast & Furious
Posted by: AltonJackson
-------------------------------

Volunteer to say Grace, and include prayers for the above. That should be a conversation starter.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at November 26, 2014 01:36 PM (F2IAQ)

295 And I hate the cowboys cince they dumped landry.

Don't hate "the Cowboys." Hate Jerry Jones (the rest of us do). It wasn't "the Cowboys" who fired Tom (who needed to retire anyway, but changing the locks and not telling him he was fired were... scummy).

Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) with a new job at November 26, 2014 01:36 PM (kff5f)

296 After doing our own investigative research, here are the facts we know about thanksgiving:

- It's racist
- It's barbaric (eating meat)
- It's built on a foundation of cranberries and the bones of genocided native americans
- It supports Big Hormone

If you're forced by your family to join them for dinner, don't eat the turkey (or cranberries), instead bring something for yourself like a jar of pickles.

Posted by: Vox at November 26, 2014 01:37 PM (JVEmw)

297 BCochran1981 Esq. at November 26, 2014 01:32 PM (da5Wo) I say this from the bottom of my soul shaped cavity. May the chupacabra emfucken you all your life long days and then continue doing so until your corpse breaks down into its component atoms.
Posted by: alexthechick - Commence drinking now

Okay, she notices you, and she's showing an interest in your future. Now close in and seal the deal.

We've got your back

Posted by: $5 says he dies screaming at November 26, 2014 01:37 PM (Spluw)

298 278 Give thanks for the day when Attorney General Trey Gowdy convicts Eric Holder for Fast & Furious
Posted by: AltonJackson at November 26, 2014 01:33 PM (2Ayux)
---------------
I'll be in my rack.

Posted by: All Hail Eris at November 26, 2014 01:37 PM (QBm1P)

299 When evangelical progressives sit down at the Thanksgiving table, do they say grace?

-
Our Marx, who arten't in heaven . . . .

Posted by: The Great White Snark at November 26, 2014 01:37 PM (XUKZU)

300 instead bring something for yourself like a jar of pickles.

Do you know how many sea turtles can no longer fuck on the beach that was mined to make that jar?! Their extinction is all on you and your refusal to eat ethically.

Posted by: HR needs donuts at November 26, 2014 01:38 PM (ZKzrr)

301 I'm sure you fit in quite well at the Academic Senate meetings.


Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at November 26, 2014 01:20 PM (Zu3d9)


Oh yes. One of my quotable quotes, re some issue I've now forgotten: "Before that happens, Moscow will have a stock exchange." (Said ca. 1980). People snorted in derision at my effrontery. Ridiculous!

Turns out that Moscow now has a stock exchange, and the event in question still hasn't happened, so my attempt at hyperbole turned out to be literally true.

Posted by: Jay Guevara at November 26, 2014 01:38 PM (oKE6c)

302 AtC: it's worse for Chiefs fans right now. In between their enstompening of the Seahawks and their game against Denver, they got beaten by the Raiders.

The. Raiders.

Manning will need to have his A-game on, because Kansas City has some serious shame they need to make up for. That being said, you have my heartfelt compassion and sympathy.

Posted by: Keith Arnold at November 26, 2014 01:38 PM (iIzG7)

303 Oh Lord, we thank you for the bounty you have rained upon us, the family and friends we have, and the blessing we will receive in the coming year. And Lord, we ask that you free us from the heavy hand of the Usurper and his minions. Amen.

Posted by: toby928(C) at November 26, 2014 01:38 PM (rwI+c)

304 Posted by: wrg500 at November 26, 2014 12:49 PM (sWgE+)

Give thanks for the blessing of a forum.

Posted by: Golfman in NC at November 26, 2014 01:39 PM (wVWRM)

305 If anyone brings up progressive political talking points, I plan to simply ask questions until the prog gets frustrated, embarrassed and leaves the room. During this process I will be sipping bourbon, smiling, and occasionally breaking out into song.

Posted by: theCork at November 26, 2014 01:39 PM (hbAdE)

306 One of the things cults do is isolate their followers and make them shun the outside world and especially their families. The acolytes are sent out into the world spouting their convoluted nonsense. When that nonsense is challenged, that is not a normal response to lunacy. It is "hatred and oppression because the outsiders fear the truth". And the cultist goes back to the loving accepting non-challenging arms of the cult. The whole point is not to gain converts, but to strengthen the hold on the cultist.

Posted by: Mann at the IPCC at November 26, 2014 01:39 PM (t+xfR)

307 253 Browns, Patriots, Cowboys, Jets?


And all 4 of those team names are offensively offensive to Leftists. Even the Jets, because gas or oil or something something.

Posted by: Citizen X at November 26, 2014 01:39 PM (7ObY1)

308 Wait, I thought cranberries were okay.

Posted by: A Committed Leftard Who Tries To Keep Up With SCIENCE and Stuff at November 26, 2014 01:39 PM (8ZskC)

309
Posted by: $5 says he dies screaming at November 26, 2014 01:37 PM (Spluw

AtC must be in the holiday spirit. She didn't head straight to the raptor pens.

Posted by: wrg500 at November 26, 2014 01:39 PM (sWgE+)

310 This crap is very Stalinesque.


That scares me. Not like girly-man scared of course.


No one goes just a little Stalin.

Posted by: Mrs. Ida Lowry at November 26, 2014 01:40 PM (8N+Kq)

311 You know why we don't need guides? Because we're right.

Posted by: Mega at November 26, 2014 01:40 PM (hHFOx)

312 I thought cranberries were okay.

Cranberries are the Devil's Huckleberry.

Posted by: toby928(C) at November 26, 2014 01:40 PM (rwI+c)

313 38-3 hehehe
38-3 hehehe
38-3 hehehe

Heh. And the Bills can't normally score for shit. Great D and special teams though but their offense is so lame. Course, against the Jets...

Posted by: Citizen X at November 26, 2014 01:40 PM (7ObY1)

314 Wait, I thought cranberries were okay.

Endangered wetlands have to be raped to grow them. And don't you know about the bifuxinol in the cans?! Big Business is poisoning you!

Posted by: HR needs donuts at November 26, 2014 01:40 PM (ZKzrr)

315 BCochran1981 Esq. at November 26, 2014 01:32 PM (da5Wo) I say this from the bottom of my soul shaped cavity. May the chupacabra emfucken you all your life long days and then continue doing so until your corpse breaks down into its component atoms.
Posted by: alexthechick - Commence drinking now

Okay, she notices you, and she's showing an interest in your future. Now close in and seal the deal.

We've got your backPosted by: $5 says he dies screaming at November 26, 2014 01:37 PM (Spluw)
Best laugh I've had all week.

Posted by: Thank God all my family is sane at November 26, 2014 01:41 PM (Z2OIC)

316 They should change the name of the Browns to the Charging Browns.

Posted by: Bob Belcher at November 26, 2014 01:41 PM (3QAtO)

317 >>Are you local, or have you moved away from this incredible shithole called the NY metro area?

Yea, I spent my early years living just north of NYC. My dad had a Jets season ticket package, no way could you get tickets to the Giants, with a guy at his office so I got to go to a game a year. Thus a Jets fan was born and years of suffering followed.

I still love my parents despite the hell they bequeathed me.

Posted by: JackStraw at November 26, 2014 01:41 PM (g1DWB)

318 311 You know why we don't need guides? Because we're right.
Posted by: Mega at November 26, 2014 01:40 PM (hHFOx)
---
And because it's f*cking intuitively obvious to the most casual observer.

Posted by: All Hail Eris at November 26, 2014 01:41 PM (QBm1P)

319 Big Food is using the CRANBERRY against you and you are defenseless!

Posted by: toby928(C) at November 26, 2014 01:41 PM (rwI+c)

320 At what point will the Left just admit that it is Malthusian in nature, and wants everyone (but them) to die off?

Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) with a new job at November 26, 2014 01:41 PM (kff5f)

321 And huckleberries are the devil's blueberries.

Posted by: Citizen X at November 26, 2014 01:42 PM (7ObY1)

322 Do you have any idea how many pesticides and fertilizers are used in a cranberry bog?!?!

Posted by: Vox at November 26, 2014 01:42 PM (JVEmw)

323 Course, against the Jets...

Posted by: Citizen X at November 26, 2014 01:40 PM (7ObY1)

Rex Ryan is a defense GENIUS!

Posted by: J..E...T...S JETS, JETS, JETS! at November 26, 2014 01:42 PM (Zu3d9)

324
We rewarded a party that booed him thrice, and shower a fan of infanticide with glory and high offices.

He is not amused I am certain.


Posted by: Sven S Blade a.k.a. El Assassin@sven10077 at November 26, 2014 01:29 PM (/4AZU)

Long have I believed that the coronation of Obama was the beginning of a long-coming punishment from God.

The worst is yet to come, I think.

Posted by: Kinley Ardal at November 26, 2014 01:42 PM (9LuAk)

325 Do you know how many sea turtles can no longer fuck on the beach that was mined to make that jar?! Their extinction is all on you and your refusal to eat ethically.
Posted by: HR needs donuts at November 26, 2014 01:38 PM (ZKzrr)

Disturbing sea turtle eggs - illegal and they exile you to Newark. Kill unborn babies by the millions - get government funding and community awards.

Posted by: Insomniac at November 26, 2014 01:42 PM (DrWcr)

326 Do you have any idea how many pesticides and fertilizers are used in a cranberry bog?!?!

All of them.

Posted by: Guy who relizes Corporate Agraculture is what keeps him fed at November 26, 2014 01:43 PM (kff5f)

327 RE: sidebar, yes Skye is almost certainly an Inhuman (pre Terrigen mist, as are her parents). The city they're looking for in SHIELD is very likely the Inhumans city which will be in the upcoming movie.

I like the Inhumans a lot, but how well movie audiences will, I guess we'll see.

Posted by: Christopher Taylor at November 26, 2014 01:43 PM (39g3+)

328 At what point will the Left just admit that it is Malthusian in nature, and wants everyone (but them) to die off?


Paul Ehrlich promised worldwide starvation by now so they're all pissed.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at November 26, 2014 01:43 PM (8ZskC)

329 I still love my parents despite the hell they bequeathed me.

Posted by: JackStraw at November 26, 2014 01:41 PM (g1DWB)

It's moved bast sad and is now firmly in the realm of comedy.

Westchester? If so, what town?

Posted by: J..E...T...S JETS, JETS, JETS! at November 26, 2014 01:44 PM (Zu3d9)

330 Long have I believed that the coronation of Obama was the beginning of a long-coming punishment from God.

God sometimes punishes us by giving us what we want rather than what we need.

Posted by: Christopher Taylor at November 26, 2014 01:44 PM (39g3+)

331 Out...loser sock!

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at November 26, 2014 01:44 PM (Zu3d9)

332 Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at November 26, 2014 01:43 PM (8ZskC)

Daily reminder, the original Paul Ehrlich from the 1800s was a motherfucking bad ass genius.

The current one, not so much.

Posted by: tsrblke, PhD(c) And father to be in 6 (short) weeks! at November 26, 2014 01:44 PM (HDwDg)

333 May the chupacabra emfucken you all your life long days and then continue doing so until your corpse breaks down into its component atoms.

Posted by: alexthechick - Commence drinking now. at November 26, 2014 01:35 PM (mf5HN)



*waves*


I think a new season of Survivor starts in January. You'll have something to watch on tv!

Posted by: BCochran1981 Esq. at November 26, 2014 01:44 PM (da5Wo)

334

Tell them this story:



HORRIBLE: REPORTERS FILMING MICHAEL BROWN MEMORIAL ATTACKED, ROBBED BY MASKED THUGS AT GUNPOINT
...
Emily Molli, a freelancer filing for Chinese network Xinhua News Agency, said she was standing behind the camera while her colleague Marcus DiPaola was filming. She said she saw a large group of young men wearing masks and carrying guns walk towards them.

"They got closer and then I heard them say, 'Turn the camera off, turn the camera off," Molli told Daily RFT. "They came sort of at us and tried to grab the camera."

The crew packed up and began walking to their car, but Molli and DiPaola said the men followed them, yelling. The reporters managed to make it inside their Prius before the group caught up and began smashing the windows.

"One guy pulled [the car door] back open, got a gun out of his backpack and pointed it at my head. He tells me to get out of the car and give me the keys," said Molli. "That's what I did."

"Fifteen to twenty males followed us with guns and hammers out," confirmed DiPaola. "Every single one of them had masks on."

DiPaola, Molli and their colleagues escaped on foot, and said they were saved by a church group who just happened to be in the neighborhood delivering Thanksgiving turkeys. The church group helped take them to a police checkpoint, which is where they were when Daily RFT spoke to them.


imagine that

TheRightScoop.com

Posted by: artisanal 'ette at November 26, 2014 01:44 PM (IXrOn)

335
Just changing the sock.

Posted by: New Sock at November 26, 2014 01:44 PM (Z2OIC)

336 Watch a Football Life episode yesterday on Lyle Alzado. He was only 43 when he died of a brain tumor. He blamed it on excessive use of steroids. Got me thinking that if it were today he or 'they' would have blamed it on concussions/blow to the head.

Posted by: Bob Belcher at November 26, 2014 01:45 PM (3QAtO)

337 324 Posted by: Kinley Ardal at November 26, 2014 01:42 PM (9LuAk)

as I said we should PRAY He is merely indifferent for I fear He is keenly interested....

His lessons are just but the attrition once judged grinds fine.

I went to my Mother-in-law's funeral this weekend, the fellowship was good and the sermon was a reminder that she is home and we are the suffering.

Posted by: Sven S Blade a.k.a. El Assassin@sven10077 at November 26, 2014 01:45 PM (/4AZU)

338 Long have I believed that the coronation of Obama was the beginning of a long-coming punishment from God.
The worst is yet to come, I think.
Posted by: Kinley Ardal at November 26, 2014 01:42 PM (9LuAk)


That seems to be the cycle- increasing Godlessness up to a certain point, then cataclysm. Or, as my Mom is wont to say, "We have become Babylon. Things didn't turn out so well for Babylon."

Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) with a new job at November 26, 2014 01:45 PM (kff5f)

339 So what do the new FDA calorie regs really mean? How will things be different?

Every chain has to print up new menus with tiny print?

Posted by: Costanza Defense at November 26, 2014 01:45 PM (zwdxl)

340 Posted by: Citizen X at November 26, 2014 01:42 PM (7ObY1)

Then what are dingleberries?

Posted by: Typical Moron at November 26, 2014 01:45 PM (Zu3d9)

341 What they're really afraid of - what keeps them awake at night - is their conscripts hearing something that just might change their mind.

It's fun to compare it to religion because we're "exposing hypocrisy". But they're not worried about hypocrisy.

What we should be exposing is that this is actually a brainwashing tactic, commonly used by cults. "When your family tells you that you've gone crazy and need help, that's just part of the conspiracy..."

Posted by: Mega at November 26, 2014 01:46 PM (hHFOx)

342
Good interview with Pharrel Williams. "Why arn't we talking about Browns bullyish behavior?"
http://tinyurl.com/njj44s5

Posted by: wrg500 at November 26, 2014 01:47 PM (sWgE+)

343 Looks like I should have read the 300 comments before I posted. Horde never lets me down.

Posted by: Mega at November 26, 2014 01:47 PM (hHFOx)

344 Then what are dingleberries?


Hairy Reid's breath mints?

Posted by: Citizen X at November 26, 2014 01:47 PM (7ObY1)

345
Paul Ehrlich promised worldwide starvation by now so they're all pissed.

-
Well, I'm feeling a might puckish.

Posted by: The Great White Snark at November 26, 2014 01:47 PM (XUKZU)

346 330 Posted by: Christopher Taylor at November 26, 2014 01:44 PM (39g3+)

Ponder how many people think they can be true to Him while glorifying him...

Yup "may you get all you desire" is a Gypsy curse...

Posted by: Sven S Blade a.k.a. El Assassin@sven10077 at November 26, 2014 01:47 PM (/4AZU)

347 *waves*


I think a new season of Survivor starts in January. You'll have something to watch on tv!
Posted by: BCochran1981 Esq. at November 26, 2014 01:44 PM (da5Wo)



*stares*

You mean like I don't watch Survivor every year?

I'm sorry to see that Georgia is only ranked 9. I mean, I know how much you were looking forward to seeing them in the championship game.

Posted by: alexthechick - Commence drinking now. at November 26, 2014 01:48 PM (mf5HN)

348 I do therefore invite my fellow citizens
in every part of the United States, and also those who are at
sea and those who are sojourning in foreign lands, to set apart
and observe the last Thursday of November next, as a day of
Thanksgiving and Praise to our beneficent Father who dwelleth
in the Heavens. -Mr Lincoln

Yeah, not religious. At. All.
Posted by: jd at November 26, 2014 01:17 PM (y53d1)


Remember. for the left and it's inculcates, history in the US began when Reagan was president and created Aids and all our overseas enemies. And he raised taxes on the poor, and gave tax breaks to the rich, and had Alzheimers.
During this period of world history, there was a holiday created called Thanksgiving that everyone celebrates in the USA, regardless of religion. So that must mean that it's not a religious holiday. It's followed by a holiday called Black Friday, that if you are lucky enough to not work in retail, you also get off of work and can go shop.
There's another holiday called Labor Day in which you get a Monday off from work right at the end of summer. On that day, the unions all celebrate that their contracts say they have that day off and if it weren't for them, we would have to work longer than 9 to 5 and we would be working on weekends and no one would get overtime. So that's a good holiday.
There ARE religious holidays, but we're not sure what those are anymore since schools are not allowed to call them out on their calendars because they could offend someone, so I"ll just spell the first few letters and you can figure it out.

Chr..t... and E...er. The first one a lot of people shop for gifts and go to parties and the second one is where you take a week off and go to Florida or Mexico.

Posted by: Jen the original at November 26, 2014 01:49 PM (hjTr7)

349 EPA's new ozone std estimated to cost at least $4B in 2025.
EPA considering even more aggressive std that would cost $15B in 2025.

Ozone std currently 75 parts per billion.
EPA moving to 65 ($15B) or 70 ($4B).
Eco-nazis want 60 parts per billion.

Posted by: Costanza Defense at November 26, 2014 01:49 PM (zwdxl)

350 Endangered wetlands have to be raped to grow them. And don't you know about the bifuxinol in the cans?! Big Business is poisoning you!



Hey, don't knock raping wetlands till you've tried it. Better than raping dry lands, amirite?



Posted by: Citizen X at November 26, 2014 01:49 PM (7ObY1)

351 Yup "may you get all you desire" is a Gypsy curse...


Gypsies may be parasitic dishonest fuckups but they do know their curses.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at November 26, 2014 01:50 PM (8ZskC)

352 You constantly get the feeling that most Progressives have never had a Republican, let alone a Tea Party, friend.

Posted by: Ezra "VOX-Boy"Klein at November 26, 2014 01:51 PM (e8kgV)

353 I thought Sanchez got traded to the Eagles.

SANCHEZ GOT TRADED TO THE EAGLES?

Posted by: Al Sharpton at November 26, 2014 01:51 PM (waAG0)

354
Hey, don't knock raping wetlands till you've tried it.

That sucking sound as you walk through, oh my.

Posted by: wrg500 at November 26, 2014 01:51 PM (sWgE+)

355 Posted by: Jen the original at November 26, 2014 01:49 PM (hjTr7)

Nice rundown!

Don't forget Columbus Day, which was created by George W. Bush to honor the White Racists who stole America from the indigenous peoples.

Posted by: Citizen X at November 26, 2014 01:51 PM (7ObY1)

356 Posted by: Jen the original at November 26, 2014 01:49 PM (hjTr7)


Did you take that from Dave Barry? That reads incredibly like Dave Barry (which is to say- incredibly funny. Well done).

Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) with a new job at November 26, 2014 01:51 PM (kff5f)

357 This stuff illustrates a key weakness in accepting things on faith: you become a slave to the things in which you believe.

Hit Believers with demands for evidence and watch the Master Meme in their heads attack in defense.

Posted by: eman at November 26, 2014 01:51 PM (mR7Es)

358 338 Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) with a new job at November 26, 2014 01:45 PM (kff5f)

or Sodom and Gamorrah....

He even warned Babylon what was coming....


http://tinyurl.com/6aeube

http://youtu.be/xMVTKOoy1uk

It's an Omen....

Posted by: Sven S Blade a.k.a. El Assassin@sven10077 at November 26, 2014 01:52 PM (/4AZU)

359 Ozone std currently 75 parts per billion.
EPA moving to 65 ($15B) or 70 ($4B).
Eco-nazis want 60 parts per billion.
Posted by: Costanza Defense at November 26, 2014 01:49 PM (zwdxl)

----

Wont that open up the hole in the ozone again???


Im sooooooo confused.

Posted by: fixerupper at November 26, 2014 01:52 PM (NaV4z)

360 "But if they believe all these things so terribly fiercely, shouldn't they already sorta know why they believe them?"


If the "why" can be accurately summed up in a Facebook meme, tweet, or bumber sticker, it's legit.


Duh.







Posted by: Burn the Witch at November 26, 2014 01:52 PM (xSCb6)

361 "In a completely unrelated note, did you know the Browns are 7-4?"

Impossible. Must be a mistake. That is more games than they won 11 of the 13 seasons since the New Browns were formed and got the new stadium that everyone insisted was so critical to their success.

Posted by: Recovering Browns Fan at November 26, 2014 01:52 PM (1BQGO)

362 I have no leftist relatives. I am not related to animals.

Posted by: Inspector Cussword at November 26, 2014 01:52 PM (scgac)

363 Trusting Progressives to acutally do science is much like asking the US Congress to
certify virginity

Posted by: Rich Bastard at November 26, 2014 01:52 PM (e8kgV)

364

Cain slew Abel, Seth knew not why
For if the children of Israel were to multiply
Why must any of the children die?
So he asked the Lord
And the Lord said:

Man means nothing, he means less to me
Than the lowliest cactus flower
Or the humblest Yucca tree
He chases round this desert
'Cause he thinks that's where I'll be
That's why I love mankind

I recoil in horror from the foulness of thee
From the squalor and the filth and the misery
How we laugh up here in heaven at the prayers you offer me
That's why I love mankind

Posted by: toby928(C) at November 26, 2014 01:53 PM (rwI+c)

365 Any others? The more scary neocon grand guignol, the better!
Posted by: All Hail Eris at November 26, 2014 01:23 PM (QBm1P)

__________

Thankful for a Muslim President

Posted by: Mr. Moo Moo at November 26, 2014 01:53 PM (0LHZx)

366

The Christians and the Jews were having a jamboree
The Buddhists and the Hindus joined on satellite TV
They picked their four greatest priests
And they began to speak
They said, "Lord, a plague is on the world
Lord, no man is free
The temples that we built to you
Have tumbled into the sea
Lord, if you won't take care of us
Won't you please, please let us be?"
And the Lord said
And the Lord said

I burn down your cities-how blind you must be
I take from you your children and you say how blessed are we
You all must be crazy to put your faith in me
That's why I love mankind
You really need me
That's why I love mankind

Posted by: toby928(C) at November 26, 2014 01:53 PM (rwI+c)

367 You constantly get the feeling that most Progressives have never had a Republican, let alone a Tea Party, friend.

Yep. If they weren't so cocooned and insular, they wouldn't need these easy-to-digest set of talking points.


Posted by: OregonMuse at November 26, 2014 01:53 PM (waAG0)

368 I think these scripts would be much more entertaining of they were sussed by Paul Krugman. Imagine the hilarity.

Posted by: Fritz at November 26, 2014 01:53 PM (UzPAd)

369 Did someone mention...enfcukening?

Posted by: T. Jeff at November 26, 2014 01:53 PM (/Ho8c)

370 Posted by: Sven S Blade a.k.a. El Assassin@sven10077 at November 26, 2014 01:52 PM (/4AZU)


Yeah, sometimes I respond to my Mom that I *hope* we're only Babylon- much better that than Sodom and Gamorrah.

Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) with a new job at November 26, 2014 01:53 PM (kff5f)

371 I'm sorry to see that Georgia is only ranked 9. I mean, I know how much you were looking forward to seeing them in the championship game.

Posted by: alexthechick - Commence drinking now. at November 26, 2014 01:48 PM (mf5HN)



The Georgia team that we kicked the shit out of? That Georgia team?

Oh, hey...why is there a DEA van outside Josh Gordon's house? Wonder what's going on there?

Posted by: BCochran1981 Esq. at November 26, 2014 01:54 PM (da5Wo)

372 Fail be my name, my only name is fail. Just went to the ABC store, the State run source of spirits. Got in there, grabbed a bottle of Tullamore Dew, headed to the register. I didn't have my wallet. So, put the bottle back, checked the car, realize that I had left it at home. Fortunately, I had 16 bucks in my console, change from something that I'd forgotten about. So, intent on getting some Scotch, I went back in. Let's just say that for my 16 bucks, the options were limited. I'd never heard of any of the cheapo brands, so I mentally flipped a few coins and chose "Duggan's Dew" over other worth contenders like McVitor and Clan MacMulligan. Having a beer before I try the stuff, hoping it isn't swill.

Posted by: Lincolntf at November 26, 2014 01:54 PM (2cS/G)

373 Did you take that from Dave Barry? That reads incredibly like Dave Barry (which is to say- incredibly funny. Well done).
Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) with a new job at November 26, 2014 01:51 PM (kff5f)

No, I had never heard of Dave Barry. After reading your post, I googled him.
Looks like he has some worthwhile reads...

Posted by: Jen the original at November 26, 2014 01:55 PM (hjTr7)

374 Some how I got banned over at The Atlantic

Posted by: Neo at November 26, 2014 01:56 PM (e8kgV)

375 Ah sorry to be a downer, sincerely...

I often get reflective this time of year and despite the introspection it is my favorite.

Here's a pick me-up...

http://tinyurl.com/p5kz56n

FoxNews-Neo Treadwell's Final Pics...


Posted by: Sven S Blade a.k.a. El Assassin@sven10077 at November 26, 2014 01:56 PM (/4AZU)

376 You constantly get the feeling that most Progressives have never had a Republican, let alone a Tea Party, friend.


______________

If they do have a Republican friend it's the "why won't these extremists just work with President Obama to get things done" types of Republicans.

Posted by: Mr. Moo Moo at November 26, 2014 01:56 PM (0LHZx)

377 #261, absolutely right.

Posted by: vivi at November 26, 2014 01:56 PM (/Zsgn)

378 Infinite are the mysteries of guff. How many computer models can dance on the end of an electron microscope-thingy I saw once in a documentary?

Posted by: Most Holy Assistant to the Laboratory Custodian...ok, lavatory at November 26, 2014 01:56 PM (KG1MP)

379
So why is it so many of them seem to need these bluffer's guides to explain to them why they believe the things they believe?

*****

That is a damn good point. The problem is, these people aren't smart. Their supposed racist uncle will wipe the pants off them in a real debate.

Bah, thank goodness I"ll have none of this at my family dinner. I'm more likely to tell my family members I agree with that I don't want to talk politics.

Posted by: Lea at November 26, 2014 01:56 PM (lIU4e)

380 ---------------

I'll be in my rack.



Posted by: All Hail Eris at November 26, 2014 01:37 PM (QBm1P)


Make sure the curtains are closed.

Posted by: GGE of the Moron Horde, NC Chapter at November 26, 2014 01:56 PM (V22Sh)

381 All our Thanksgiving prayers end with Roll Tide.

Posted by: toby928(C) at November 26, 2014 01:57 PM (rwI+c)

382 Nood Ace up.

Screwmer and Fauxcahontas going off the...er Lib reservation.

Posted by: Citizen X at November 26, 2014 01:57 PM (7ObY1)

383 neither one of us has that many relatives, and none of them live nearby, so this isn't an issue at our house.

since we are fairly congruent, politically, we will have to find find something else to fight about over the dinner table...

and she always does. ;-)

Posted by: redc1c4 at November 26, 2014 01:57 PM (vIjYi)

384 What the well-dressed 'ette wears to the beach:

http://tinyurl.com/l8bjwpz

Posted by: All Hail Eris at November 26, 2014 01:57 PM (QBm1P)

385 that's "peckish", "peckish", damn autocorrect ruining my jokes.

Posted by: The Great White Snark at November 26, 2014 01:57 PM (XUKZU)

386 Some how I got banned over at The Atlantic
Posted by: Neo

Pissing in the ocean again?

Posted by: Blue Hen at November 26, 2014 01:58 PM (Spluw)

387 I'll be in my rack.



Posted by: All Hail Eris at November 26, 2014 01:37 PM (QBm1P)


Make sure the curtains are closed.
Posted by: GGE of the Moron Horde, NC Chapter at November 26, 2014 01:56 PM (V22Sh)
---------
It's a morale builder!

Posted by: All Hail Eris at November 26, 2014 01:58 PM (QBm1P)

388 I would simply tell any family member, be it blood or by marriage:

"If any policy that you advocate screws me over in any way, shape, or form, I will beat your ass. Especially any policy that can be proven ahead of time not to work."

And then go to twon because of 404Care.

Luckily, both blood and inlaws are hard right. Not sure which is farther. LOL.

Posted by: rickb223 at November 26, 2014 01:59 PM (6J/xZ)

389 Don't forget Columbus Day, which was created by George W. Bush to honor the White Racists who stole America from the indigenous peoples.

Posted by: Citizen X at November 26, 2014 01:51 PM (7ObY1)

You're right. More leftists are also forgetting Columbus Day, because he shouldn't be honored. Isn't supposed to be Indigenous People's Day?

By the way, heard on Rush a while ago that Obama told a group in Chicago yesterday that American's have no right to object to ANY immigration here because the only people who have that right are...you guessed it, SOME(not all) native Americans.
We all immigrated here and therefore we cannot claim any ownership or rights as American's to decide who else can come here.

It's going to be a long two years.

Posted by: Jen the original at November 26, 2014 02:01 PM (hjTr7)

390 Posted by: toby928(C) at November 26, 2014 01:53 PM (rwI+c)

What are you quoting from, toby?

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at November 26, 2014 02:01 PM (bRm4u)

391 Seattle is now pardoning even Tofurkey my friend....


the Progtard2000 never rests, never stops, and is never satisfied...

one of America's best and toughest towns went full Ecotard and they STILL get harangued...




Posted by: Sven S Blade a.k.a. El Assassin@sven10077 at November 26, 2014 01:00 PM (/4AZU)


I will believe the leader of PETA is sincere when he stuffs 8 pounds of bread crumbs up his ass, and dives into a deep fryer as an offering to his followers.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at November 26, 2014 02:05 PM (z0I/T)

392 6 Will they re-issue the primer on OBamacare ?

"How to Combat your crazy Uncle's lies about the ACA"
Posted by: McCool at November 26, 2014 12:43 PM (Kbw23)

Now that he knows that it makes insurance premiums skyrocket.
Tell him it's republicans' fault. That'll shut him up about his premiums going up $90 per month.

Posted by: nerdygirl at November 26, 2014 02:05 PM (A/e8X)

393 391 Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at November 26, 2014 02:05 PM (z0I/T)

It's like the bread and fishes...

the dough and asses...

Posted by: Sven S Blade a.k.a. El Assassin@sven10077 at November 26, 2014 02:06 PM (/4AZU)

394 #390, lyrics from "Political Science" by Randy Newman on the Sail Away album. The whole album rocks.

Posted by: vivi at November 26, 2014 02:07 PM (/Zsgn)

395 Yeah, God's Song by Newman. The Etta James cover of it is fabulous.

Posted by: toby928(C) at November 26, 2014 02:10 PM (rwI+c)

396 Leftists are such humorless bores. They really are the stink bugs of society. They keep coming, and stink up the place.

Posted by: Baldy at November 26, 2014 02:10 PM (+35FH)

397 No; I'm dont think I'd be particularly interested in a album with those lyrics. It doesn't jibe with my view of God.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at November 26, 2014 02:10 PM (bRm4u)

398 Don't be fooled when they say "Repent or burn!" during the family inquisition. They plan to burn you.
Stay strong, my friend.

Posted by: Man from Wazzustan at November 26, 2014 02:10 PM (0atFl)

399 Ask a prog or peta member why they want an ENTIRE species to go extinct? The BUTTERBALL turkey's sole purpose is for food. It cannot be released into the wild.
If they weren't farmed, no one would keep them. They serve no other commercial purpose.

Posted by: rickb223 at November 26, 2014 02:10 PM (SgnWh)

400 Don't be fooled when they say "Repent or burn!" during the family inquisition. They plan to burn you.



Dare them to try.

Posted by: rickb223 at November 26, 2014 02:11 PM (SgnWh)

401 @283 Your family sounds awesome. I often tell others that my political leanings as "somewhere to the right of Attila the Hun."

Posted by: Smell Mop, Who? at November 26, 2014 02:13 PM (NLETy)

402 Whatever.

Posted by: toby928(C) at November 26, 2014 02:14 PM (rwI+c)

403 thanks I stand corrected, it's "God's Song." Not my favorite. "I like Political Science" but not for the reason Randy Newman might like it.
No one likes us
I don't know why
We may not be perfect
But Heaven knows we try
But all around
Even our old friends put us down...
Let's drop the Big One and see what happens.

We give them money
but are they grateful?
No, they're spiteful
and they're hateful.
They don't respect us
So let's surprise 'em
Let's Drop the Big One
and pulverize 'em....

Posted by: vivi at November 26, 2014 02:15 PM (/Zsgn)

404 Posted by: vivi at November 26, 2014 02:15 PM (/Zsgn)


We'll save Australia
Don't want to hurt no kangaroo

Posted by: Obnoxious A-Hole at November 26, 2014 02:18 PM (PD6iL)

405 >>Westchester? If so, what town?

Sorry, work. Yes, Westchester. Specifically Pelham but I've got relatives up and down the Hudson.

Posted by: JackStraw at November 26, 2014 02:21 PM (g1DWB)

406 Unless the music is really good, I don't see a point in listening to leftists from the 70's. I've had a looong time listening to leftists. I think my brand of satire might run more to Tom Lehrer who was certainly not a conservative eitheri

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at November 26, 2014 02:22 PM (bRm4u)

407 400 Dare them to try.

Respect for Mom has me trying to keep it to a controlled burn. Forest fires destroy lives.

Posted by: Man from Wazzustan at November 26, 2014 02:23 PM (0atFl)

408 Here's a pick me-up...

http://tinyurl.com/p5kz56n

FoxNews-Neo Treadwell's Final Pics...




Posted by: Sven S Blade a.k.a. El Assassin@sven10077 at November 26, 2014 01:56 PM (/4AZU)


If the dude had been really transgressive, he'd have set the phone to "video record", and propped it up on a tree limb before the bear devoured him.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at November 26, 2014 02:37 PM (z0I/T)

409 "Transgressive" means "dresses like a girl," right?

Posted by: Citizen X at November 26, 2014 02:52 PM (7ObY1)

410 #389By the way, heard on Rush a while ago that Obama told a group in Chicago yesterday that American's have no right to object to ANY immigration here because the only people who have that right are...you guessed it, SOME(not all) native Americans.


Jen, I was in the dentist chair for two hours yesterday and at first I cranked up El-Rushbo on the headphones.

Then I realized that the dentist might be a Dem and he had very sharp instruments in my mouth, so I figgered I'd better change the station in case he could hear it!

I was reminded of Reagan's line about hoping his doctors were all Republicans!

Posted by: Citizen X at November 26, 2014 02:55 PM (7ObY1)

411
Oh, how i long for the days when the only religious zealots who would harangue me in public were the Moonies and the Krishna types flogging sales of the Baghdad Bob Vita in airports.

Happy days!

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars(TM) at November 26, 2014 02:55 PM (RizLv)

412 One reason I love 70s Prog-rock so much: the Progressive-rockers very rarely wandered into political territory. Sure you had your general "war is bad, up with people" stuff going on, but no overt politics.

Even the likes of Roger Waters kept it under control back then, with the exception of some lyrics on ANIMALS. And Jethro Tull had some anti-religious songs. But those were rare exceptions.

But for the most part, the Progsters were more interested in spiritual quests and harmless hippy-dippy cosmic lyrics. And the same largely goes for the modern Prog bands

Why sing about Kent State or whatnot when Keith Emerson has a mini-Moog solo to play!

Posted by: Citizen X at November 26, 2014 02:59 PM (7ObY1)

413 My question is why do leftist democrats like race wars?

Posted by: harrybalzack at November 26, 2014 03:03 PM (YUrBn)

414 VOX is the Chick Tracts for the Left

Posted by: Your Crazy Evangelical Uncle at November 26, 2014 03:04 PM (lN8KC)

415 Who would knowingly eat a meal with a Progressive cult member?

Posted by: Tomas at November 26, 2014 03:08 PM (qW442)

416 @402: Sorry if it sounded like I was attempting to ridicule you or your family. I use that same description for myself. I've never heard anyone else use that description, which made me believe your family and mine would probably get along pretty well. I wasn't attempting to poke fun or be sarcastic.

Posted by: Smell Mop, Who? at November 26, 2014 03:16 PM (NLETy)

417
I think we need a 'How to deprogram progressives' guide to getting sheep-dipped brain dead folks to think differently.

Our family's obamacare tax is $400 a month. I'd like for once to have a leftist swallow that $4800 a year bill. With gravy and stuffing, of course.

Posted by: Keep Calm Cruz On at November 26, 2014 03:28 PM (wT9UL)

418 "One attendee congratulated the guest of honor and said it was lucky
Obama was President otherwise she wouldn't be able to go to college.
"

That attendee came in a short bus, apparently.

Posted by: Keep Calm Cruz On at November 26, 2014 03:30 PM (wT9UL)

419 I forgot to mention my new day after Thanksgiving Black Friday tradition.

I will be conducting hard drive penetration tests.

Western Digital, Samsung and Seagate hard drives will be tested.

The extensive tests will include: 45 acp, 30.06, .308, 22 WMR, 7.5 x 55 Swiss and, new for this occasion, 38 Special +P.*

*no alcohol will be consumed during testing, as I take my hard drive examinations seriously.

Posted by: Bacon Kevin at November 26, 2014 03:40 PM (WuGBT)

420 "How I DESTROYED Cousin Ed's Regressive Argument at Thanksgiving", by Ima Schmuck

Posted by: Mojo at November 26, 2014 03:47 PM (ejcGn)

421 "...also God, we thank you for the Koch Brothers"

Just to mess with them

Posted by: Fen at November 26, 2014 04:52 PM (YzAXm)

422 "Before you focus on any point of disagreement, ask questions of your interlocutor to figure out why they think the way they do about the subject at hand."

That is the prototypical Conerd Ferderdsdurf sentence. You know he is the author instantly upon reading it.

Posted by: gp at November 26, 2014 05:35 PM (mk9aG)

423 I read some of this a work. This was one of the best threads ever.

I don't have any personal stories to relate, but it was fun reading everyone else's.

Posted by: rickl at November 26, 2014 06:18 PM (sdi6R)

424 I love to get into heated political discussions at Thanksgiving. I save lots of money on Christmas gifts that way.

Posted by: Luddite's Bane at November 27, 2014 06:13 PM (XqjSk)

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