John Kerry: Why No You Can't Interview Benghazi Survivors, Because Ckuf You, That's Why

Maybe Putin could propose a hypothetical plan for achieving this.

House Oversight Committee Chairman Rep. Darrell Issa (R-Calif.) on Monday sent Kerry a formal letter demanding access to the survivors of the Sept. 11, 2012, terrorist attack on the U.S. Consulate in Benghazi, Libya.

“I must receive confirmation that the [State] Department will makes these witnesses available to Committee investigators by September 24, 2013,” the letter reads.

“Otherwise, I will have no alternative but to consider the use of compulsory process,” the letter adds.


Serious You Guys this is my real skin...
Why don't you believe me?

Pic via @rdbrewer4.

By the way, Obama's speech tonight will be "unbelievably small," just 15 minutes long.

In other words, his speech will be just muscular enough to screw up all of your DVR recordings, but you'll still catch some of the opening credits.

Obama has decided on a "limited, targeted" speech which will be like his planned war, brief, pointless, and slightly less consequential than America's Got Talent.

Posted by: Ace at 07:25 PM



Comments

1 Youuuuu raaaang?

Posted by: Lurch Kerry at September 10, 2013 07:26 PM (Z4o8T)

2 I'll believe a subpoena when I see one Issa...

Posted by: hello, it's me also a creep-assed cracka.. at September 10, 2013 07:26 PM (9+ccr)

3 When did fcuk become ckuf? [scratches head]

Posted by: Additional Blond Agent at September 10, 2013 07:26 PM (PMGbu)

4 Yeah.... just like they are gonna force that Woman from the IRS to testify....

oh.... /crickets...

Posted by: Romeo13 at September 10, 2013 07:27 PM (lZBBB)

5 What difference does it make

Posted by: Hillary Clinton at September 10, 2013 07:28 PM (Pr6hk)

6 3
If I said it at breakfast table, no big deal
But say it at supper and they had a cow.

Posted by: Beto at September 10, 2013 07:28 PM (MhA4j)

7 When my congressman's wife and children get better health care than I do is whey I will say that targeting his wife and family is justified.

Posted by: Jack at September 10, 2013 07:28 PM (gWHwW)

8 So when they ignore the subpoenas what then?

nothing thats what this administration has no checks.

Posted by: Mr. Pink at September 10, 2013 07:28 PM (6bpHA)

9 can we vote Kerry off the island?

Posted by: navycopjoe at September 10, 2013 07:28 PM (1MCcX)

10 Dang, I could go for a nice bag of hay right now.

Posted by: Mr. Ed at September 10, 2013 07:29 PM (wkCDq)

11 Is writing ckuf a thing now? Should I write Ckocsucker going forward?

Posted by: Gristle Encased Head at September 10, 2013 07:29 PM (+lsX1)

12 Maybe Putin could propose a hypothetical plan for achieving this.

*****

You made me laugh, right off the bat.

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at September 10, 2013 07:29 PM (DmNpO)

13 #4

I like to sit and watch all the water flowing under that bridge

Posted by: Beto at September 10, 2013 07:30 PM (MhA4j)

14 How do we know that's really John Kerry?

Posted by: Caliban at September 10, 2013 07:30 PM (2ArJQ)

15 And yet those of us who keep insisting they are hiding something are called conspiracy theorists.

Think about it, our own government is forbidding American citizens from telling the truth about what happened during a terrorist attack. And they still re-elected this clown. And you wonder why politicians speak to the dumbest members of our society?

Posted by: JackStraw at September 10, 2013 07:31 PM (g1DWB)

16 Hey Mr. Kerry, why the long face

Posted by: Secretariat at September 10, 2013 07:31 PM (Pr6hk)

17 I hate these people.

Posted by: DangerGirl, home sweet home at September 10, 2013 07:31 PM (GrtrJ)

18
By the way, Obama's speech tonight will be "unbelievably small," just 15 minutes long.
In other words, his speech will be just muscular enough to screw up all of your DVR recordings, but you'll still catch some of the opening credits.


Except he'll start late by 37 1/3 minutes.

Posted by: Anachronda at September 10, 2013 07:31 PM (IrbU4)

19
Excellent ... (sits back, fires up the popcorn popper)
Yes, I really, really do want to know what happened in Benghazi. And I don't care how much it embarrasses Da Won, Her Inevitableness ... or Jawn Francois Kerry.
(So, John Kerry walks into a bar, and the bartender says, "Hey, why the long face?" Sometimes the old jokes are the best.)

Posted by: Sgt. Mom at September 10, 2013 07:31 PM (Asjr7)

20 There are Benghazi survivors? Who knew?

Posted by: BignJames at September 10, 2013 07:31 PM (ZNQKl)

21 Issa is almost as ineffectual as those he subpoenas. Special Select Committee or it's all kabuki theatre.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at September 10, 2013 07:32 PM (WjLUf)

22 Remember the attack bunny that charged "Jimah"?

It was me.


http://tinyurl.com/qjex6ym

Posted by: John Kerry at September 10, 2013 07:32 PM (wR+pz)

23 This goes back to precisely the point I made earlier....so long as Donkey Ass Motherfucker stays in the United States the MFM's Potemkin Village works for them.

"Fuck you on Benghazi Racist" and voila no answers...

Putin won't play that shit, and we're fucked because of it...so enjoy the ride.

Posted by: sven10077 at September 10, 2013 07:32 PM (9jfyN)

24 OH by the way did you see the Obama yes we can fucking shit during the Redskins opening theme?

Fuck this shit

Posted by: Mr. Pink at September 10, 2013 07:32 PM (6bpHA)

25
8 So when they ignore the subpoenas what then?

The Benghazi survivors are turned over to Putin, who sequesters them and makes certain they're safe.

Posted by: Anachronda at September 10, 2013 07:32 PM (IrbU4)

26 Except he'll start late by 37 1/3 minutes.

Posted by: Anachronda at September 10, 2013 07:31 PM

Choomin' don't have no time limit.....

Posted by: Beto at September 10, 2013 07:32 PM (MhA4j)

27 "Kerry Not ‘Prepared’ to Let Congress Interview Benghazi Survivors"


Kerry's right. He's NOT "prepared". For anything. He's Unbelievably Small (tm).

Posted by: Aslan's Girl at September 10, 2013 07:32 PM (KL49F)

28 He looks like a basset hound in that one.

But yeah, there was something shocking going on in Benghazi that they really want to protect.

Posted by: Guy Mohawk at September 10, 2013 07:32 PM (sj9LN)

29 I write "fuck" because, lesdyxia...

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at September 10, 2013 07:32 PM (WjLUf)

30 24 Mr. Pink,

The correct response is "fuck you NFL"

signed,

A Non Democrat Fan

Posted by: sven10077 at September 10, 2013 07:32 PM (9jfyN)

31 And yet those of us who keep insisting they are hiding something are called conspiracy theorists.

****

I once commented that I had never seen such a successful silencing of witnesses by the government and was subjected to a brutal take-down as to what an imbecile I am.

Hmmm.

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at September 10, 2013 07:33 PM (DmNpO)

32 Fav line from "Bound" when the mob guy wants answers to his questions:


"I'm going to ask you ten questions..."



Posted by: EC at September 10, 2013 07:33 PM (doBIb)

33 26 The French want the threatened.

Posted by: Beto at September 10, 2013 07:33 PM (MhA4j)

34 Hey Secretary Kerry, when I asked your mother last night if we should strike Syria, she said 'neigh'

Posted by: Seattle Slew at September 10, 2013 07:33 PM (Pr6hk)

35 28 He looks like a basset hound in that one.

But yeah, there was something shocking going on in Benghazi that they really want to protect.
Posted by: Guy Mohawk at September 10, 2013 07:32 PM (sj9LN)


Giant LBJ zombie hand to grab his ears and shake him...

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at September 10, 2013 07:33 PM (WjLUf)

36 Preznit Sitzpinkler will speak from the Ovarian Orifice.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at September 10, 2013 07:34 PM (WjLUf)

37 Is there a betting pool on how long Obama will keep us waiting for his speech? I saw 37 1/2 minutes, but I'm going with 25... He probably thinks he came out ahead in the negotiations and can't wait to brag and bask in the media's adoration

Posted by: nnptcgrad at September 10, 2013 07:34 PM (Opyrm)

38 OT

What time do the polls close in Colorado?

Posted by: Joethefatman™ (@joethefatman1) at September 10, 2013 07:34 PM (MnSla)

39 10 minutes before Oblabla goes on TV, the RED phone rings. A thickly accented voice asks him if his refrigerator is running. Oblabla sends Horse Face to the White House kitchen to find out. It is running!! he replies into the phone.

Well you better go catch it comrade!!!

Posted by: Bruce at September 10, 2013 07:34 PM (cGaIx)

40 32
Why do the heathen rage, and the people imagine a vain thing?

Posted by: Beto at September 10, 2013 07:35 PM (MhA4j)

41 Issa aint gonna do tihs... still waiting on the FF from that jackass.

Posted by: ET at September 10, 2013 07:35 PM (YpjaN)

42 I wonder if the Choomer'nChief will make his speech with his feet on the Resolute Desk?

Posted by: DangerGirl, home sweet home at September 10, 2013 07:36 PM (GrtrJ)

43

They ran guns to Al Qaeda in Syria from Benghazi. And it blew up in their faces.

Don't need Darrel Issa to figure that one out.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at September 10, 2013 07:36 PM (WjLUf)

44

You see, it was *always* about diplomacy, explains Obama and his Media.

Posted by: soothsayer at September 10, 2013 07:36 PM (8ZQ2a)

45 Benghazi... No wonder they think Syria is a victory

Posted by: Bashar al Assad at September 10, 2013 07:36 PM (Pr6hk)

46 I've found a tasteful "Mission Accomplished!" Works best in situations like this one.

Posted by: George Bush at September 10, 2013 07:36 PM (CYKf3)

47 Remember the CBS "Special" intro for a holiday cartoon?

Posted by: AmishDude at September 10, 2013 07:36 PM (T0NGe)

48 32 You'll notice there is a decided shift in this forum.
Reality is sinking in

Posted by: Beto at September 10, 2013 07:36 PM (MhA4j)

49 Vlad Putin: "Hello, I'm looking for Michael Hunt. Is he there?"


Obama: "Hey, has anyone seen Mike Hunt?"


Vlad Putin: *suppressed giggles*

Posted by: EC at September 10, 2013 07:37 PM (doBIb)

50 47 I've found a tasteful "Mission Accomplished!" Works best in situations like this one.
Posted by: George Bush at September 10, 2013 07:36 PM (CYKf3)


In Kerry's case, "Fait Accompli."

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at September 10, 2013 07:37 PM (WjLUf)

51 If they had nothing to hide they wouldn't mind them being interviewed.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at September 10, 2013 07:37 PM (N0aPW)

52 I really really like that skin. I've got just the barstool to go with it, too.

Posted by: Ed Gein at September 10, 2013 07:38 PM (RLTt1)

53 50
Obama: "Hey, has anyone seen Mike Hunt?"


Yes. Yes, I have. Or close enough.

Posted by: Reggie Love at September 10, 2013 07:38 PM (bKA83)

54

Mike Lee on Levin right now. About to blast Eric Cantor...

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at September 10, 2013 07:38 PM (WjLUf)

55

Gotta love Joe Manchin. This guy plays politics like a pro.

He steps in at the right time, says the right things...with a wink and a nod to Obama, of course.

Posted by: soothsayer at September 10, 2013 07:38 PM (8ZQ2a)

56 Hugo Hackenbush ‏@MangyLover 51s
Save and print your card for tonight's scheduled drinking game. pic.twitter.com/ZA8ro1Q2bd

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at September 10, 2013 07:38 PM (DmNpO)

57 Even the leftist UK Guardian is reporting on this. British leftists doing the job American leftists won't.
pjmedia.com/instapundit/175674/

Posted by: andycanuck at September 10, 2013 07:38 PM (YD2FC)

58
If they had nothing to hide they wouldn't mind them being interviewed.


Posted by: FenelonSpoke

They're too busy.
They got to reprimer the Jeep man.

Posted by: Bruce at September 10, 2013 07:39 PM (cGaIx)

59 If you put a powerful fan in front of Kerry the thunderclaps from his cheeks flapping would frighten nesting birds from trees 20 miles away.

Posted by: bonhomme at September 10, 2013 07:39 PM (yETln)

60 Ben Ghazi? Loved him in 'Road House'

Posted by: Charlie Gibson at September 10, 2013 07:39 PM (Pr6hk)

61 Just the tip.

Posted by: John F'in Kerry at September 10, 2013 07:39 PM (JiTKm)

62 61 Ben Ghazi? Loved him in 'Road House'
Posted by: Charlie Gibson at September 10, 2013 07:39 PM (Pr6hk)


"Run For Your Life." Literally...

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at September 10, 2013 07:40 PM (WjLUf)

63 Speaking of Benghazi, how's that hunting down of the terrorists behind the attack going a year on? Have they been tracked down by any journalists for exclusive interviews lately?

Posted by: mugiwara at September 10, 2013 07:40 PM (hpYnL)

64 Vlad Putin: *suppressed giggles*

What about Amanda Hugginkiss? Can I have Amanda Hugginkiss?

Posted by: Moe Szyslak at September 10, 2013 07:40 PM (PMGbu)

65



**** unavailable for comment ****

Posted by: Ambassador Stevens at September 10, 2013 07:40 PM (Pr6hk)

66 >>>In Kerry's case, "Fait Accompli."

In Cinton's words, "what difference, at this point, does it make?"

Posted by: wooga at September 10, 2013 07:41 PM (AMuDZ)

67 (So, John Kerry walks into a bar, and the bartender says, "Hey, why the long face?" Sometimes the old jokes are the best.)

I suggest a minor edit: hay for hey.

Posted by: Retread at September 10, 2013 07:41 PM (Oz+LZ)

68 What is "compulsory process"?

A stern letter?


Crossing of the arms?


A frowny face?

Posted by: EC at September 10, 2013 07:41 PM (doBIb)

69 64 Speaking of Benghazi, how's that hunting down of the terrorists behind the attack going a year on? Have they been tracked down by any journalists for exclusive interviews lately?
Posted by: mugiwara at September 10, 2013 07:40 PM (hpYnL)


They're in Syria, leading the "rebels."

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at September 10, 2013 07:41 PM (WjLUf)

70
I can see Putin saying something right before the speech. But I guess he will probably be sleeping nice and tidy at that time.

I am going with His Lateness being 5:38 late. For a dollar. and 43 cents. and this yo-yo.

Posted by: Guy Mohawk at September 10, 2013 07:41 PM (sj9LN)

71 Except he'll start late by 37 1/3 minutes.

Two minutes into it, he'll have to run off to a party Michelle is throwing. Bill Clinton will come in and finish the address for him.

Posted by: Been there, addressed that at September 10, 2013 07:41 PM (hd6FO)

72 And I'm the one in prison

Posted by: Charlie Manson at September 10, 2013 07:41 PM (Pr6hk)

73 65 Vlad Putin: *suppressed giggles*

What about Amanda Hugginkiss? Can I have Amanda Hugginkiss?
Posted by: Moe Szyslak at September 10, 2013 07:40 PM (PMGbu)


Clint Torrez and Dick Hertz were unavailable.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at September 10, 2013 07:42 PM (WjLUf)

74 Vlad Putin: "Hello, I'm looking for Manda Huggenkiss. Is she there?"


Obama: "Hey, is there a Manda Huggenkiss here?"


Vlad Putin: *suppressed giggles*

Posted by: Beto at September 10, 2013 07:42 PM (MhA4j)

75 I'm looking forward to hearing Obama tell us all how Putin's ass tastes.

Posted by: Aviator at September 10, 2013 07:42 PM (DI+ja)

76 I type too slowly

Posted by: Beto at September 10, 2013 07:43 PM (MhA4j)

77 >>In other words, his speech will be just muscular enough to screw up all
of your DVR recordings, but you'll still catch some of the opening
credits.



Ummm....that would be if he actually started on time. I'm thinking he shows 45 minutes late (possibly after Vlad strafes him again 10 minutes after his speech was supposed to start), and that his "15-minute speech" rolls into 20, so he can clusterfuck two separate and distinct hours of regularly scheduled programs.

Posted by: cthulhu at September 10, 2013 07:43 PM (T1005)

78 Miss me yet?

Posted by: James from Plains, Georgia at September 10, 2013 07:43 PM (Pr6hk)

79 >So when they ignore the subpoenas what then?


sternly worded letter

appearance on Hannity


Posted by: Jones in CO at September 10, 2013 07:43 PM (8sCoq)

80 I'm looking forward to hearing Obama tell us all how Putin's ass tastes.

******

Sounds like a job for Slublog

Posted by: Beto at September 10, 2013 07:43 PM (MhA4j)

81

hahahajaja @ Erin Burnett's Up Front show on CNN

I'd watch it more often if it were Erin Bunett Full Frontal. She's a dope.



Posted by: soothsayer at September 10, 2013 07:43 PM (8ZQ2a)

82 We don't report on Benghazi because there was a secret Op going on and we don't want to expose it.


*snickers into hand*

Posted by: MSNBC at September 10, 2013 07:44 PM (yETln)

83
I type too slowly


Posted by: Beto

That's okay. Most of us can't read all that quickly.

Posted by: Bruce at September 10, 2013 07:44 PM (cGaIx)

84 While the Obama administration is busy committing political seppuku, the House GOP schedules its own funeral date just to go Obama one better.

http://on.msnbc.com/17oBtIn

Posted by: Sun Tsu at September 10, 2013 07:44 PM (CYKf3)

85 D.C. Kabuki isn't getting better with age.

I want a refund. Do taxpayers have standing for that?

Posted by: AnonymousDrivel at September 10, 2013 07:44 PM (eHIJJ)

86 Fustercluck3


Posted by: Purp at September 10, 2013 07:44 PM (9MLX+)

87 He is answering for Hillary Clinton in her steed, I mean stead.

Posted by: Boss Moss at September 10, 2013 07:44 PM (0axsw)

88 Barry, I know I promised I would eat corn the night before, but I couldn't resist the 3-alarm chili

Posted by: Vlad Putin at September 10, 2013 07:44 PM (Pr6hk)

89 79 Miss me yet?
Posted by: James from Plains, Georgia at September 10, 2013 07:43 PM (Pr6hk)


No. Just because I've got chronic genital warts doesn't mean I want my shingles of the eye to return.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at September 10, 2013 07:45 PM (WjLUf)

90 oh and frowning. Lots of frowning.

Posted by: Jones in CO at September 10, 2013 07:45 PM (8sCoq)

91 "So when they ignore the subpoenas what then?"

Vote to hold Kerry in contempt of Congress. Just as was previously done with Eric Holder. For the same reason. Ignoring subpoenas.

Keep piling the charges on. It won't sway the Obama cult base, of course, but some of the persuadable independent swing voters are starting to notice that the guy who promised them "transparency" has instead delivered total opacity.

Posted by: torquewrench at September 10, 2013 07:45 PM (gqT4g)

92 77 I type too slowly
Posted by: Beto at September 10, 2013 07:43 PM (MhA4j)


Mavis Beacon. And a lot of practice.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at September 10, 2013 07:45 PM (WjLUf)

93 Miss me yet?

Posted by: Jimmuh and the Bunnymen at September 10, 2013 07:46 PM (0axsw)

94 "So when they ignore the subpoenas what then?"

Vote to hold Kerry in contempt of Congress. Just as was previously done with Eric Holder. For the same reason. Ignoring subpoenas.


And how did that turn out?

*gazes imperiously*

Posted by: E Holder at September 10, 2013 07:46 PM (yETln)

95 All we know is that we're a lot more likely to turn a profit this quarter

Posted by: Syria Asprin Industries, Inc. at September 10, 2013 07:46 PM (Pr6hk)

96 94 I did that but I separated my shoulder blade five weeks ago. Boss, De Pain! De Pain!

Posted by: Beto at September 10, 2013 07:47 PM (MhA4j)

97
PENTAGON
Marines on alert, moved near Libya ahead of Sept. 11 anniversary


??????
Putting Marines on alert for an attack in Libya on 9/11 is like training troops for trench warfare in the eve of WW2.

Al Quada isn't gonna hit us in the same place. Fools.

Posted by: Nevergiveup at September 10, 2013 07:47 PM (9Xc5j)

98 You really don't want transparency -- it lets in UV and causes skin cancer.

Posted by: Purp at September 10, 2013 07:47 PM (9MLX+)

99 At 15 minutes he must really have nothing to say

Posted by: Bigby's Rope a Dope at September 10, 2013 07:47 PM (RLTt1)

100 Silly Putty - I think that's what Kerry had injected in his face. Put the Sunday newspaper cartoons up to his face and I bet they would transfer right on like we did when we were kids.

Posted by: Cheri at September 10, 2013 07:47 PM (4NxKJ)

101 Then again it could be Play Dough.

Posted by: Cheri at September 10, 2013 07:48 PM (4NxKJ)

102
Ramirez needs to draw a cartoon of the media personalities spinning around like tops.

Posted by: soothsayer at September 10, 2013 07:48 PM (8ZQ2a)

103 I just remembered. Didn't one of the dem's say we should track down bin laden and take him to court? Why don't we just sue Asad for using the poison gas. It would be a lot cheaper than cruise missles

Posted by: Cicero Skip at September 10, 2013 07:48 PM (EXtkP)

104 Al Quada isn't gonna hit us in the same place. Fools.



Posted by: Nevergiveup

That's just what the AQ wants you to think.

11 dimensional chess, baby

Posted by: Bruce at September 10, 2013 07:48 PM (cGaIx)

105 How goes the press conference?

Posted by: Boss Moss at September 10, 2013 07:49 PM (0axsw)

106 15 minutes?It takes him less than 15 SECONDS to aggravate the hell out of me.

Posted by: wth at September 10, 2013 07:49 PM (wAQA5)

107 102 You're right. He can spend 15 minutes on his greatness when he opens.

Posted by: Beto at September 10, 2013 07:49 PM (MhA4j)

108 Putin's Manchurian replacement of John Kerry has such a fake-looking prosthetic latex face that I've lost all confidence in the KGB's espionage skilz.

Posted by: zombie at September 10, 2013 07:49 PM (TZ7GJ)

109
Is Obama gonna have a Marine fan him tonight while he speech-lies?

Posted by: soothsayer at September 10, 2013 07:49 PM (8ZQ2a)

110
The Senate confirmed the nomination of Sen. John Kerry, D- Mass, to be Secretary of State. The vote was 94 to 3,





World's greatest deliberative body, Ladies and Gentlemen.....

Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at September 10, 2013 07:50 PM (kdS6q)

111 How many I's tonight?

Posted by: Boss Moss at September 10, 2013 07:50 PM (0axsw)

112 Well, you think with as much money are Theresa has she could get me a decent hair dye.

Bitch.

Posted by: John Kerry at September 10, 2013 07:50 PM (wR+pz)

113 When does President Sir Bedevere lay some knowlege on us?

Posted by: Count de Monet at September 10, 2013 07:50 PM (BAS5M)

114 It takes him less than 15 SECONDS to aggravate the hell out of me.
posted by : wth at September 10, 2013 07:49 PM

I can not take 2 seconds

Posted by: Cicero Skip at September 10, 2013 07:50 PM (EXtkP)

115 A majority of Palestinians say the act of suicide bombing is often or sometimes justified, according to anew Pew Research survey.

In response to the prompt, “Suicide bombings can be justified…” 62 percent of Palestinians responded “often” or “sometimes”:

“Support for suicide bombing and other violence aimed at civilian targets is most widespread in the Palestinian territories, with 62% of Muslims saying that such attacks are often or sometimes justified in order to defend Islam from its enemies. Support is strong both in Hamas-ruled Gaza (64%) and the Fatah-governed West Bank (60%).

hey lets give em a State

Actually this Syria thing is pushing the Palestinians to the back page where they belong. They are always the ugly stepchild of the Arab world

Posted by: Nevergiveup at September 10, 2013 07:50 PM (9Xc5j)

116 I could swear Kerry wears a rug.

Posted by: Tuna at September 10, 2013 07:51 PM (M/TDA)

117 104 Do you remember a toy from the 70s - Stretch Armstrong?

Posted by: Bigby's Rope a Dope at September 10, 2013 07:51 PM (RLTt1)

118 And how did that turn out?
*gazes imperiously*

Posted by: E Holder at September 10, 2013 07:46 PM (yETln)

Yeah.... what he said...

Posted by: Dept. of Interior about contempt in Gulf Oil Drilling Case at September 10, 2013 07:51 PM (lZBBB)

119 The Senate confirmed the nomination of Sen. John Kerry, D- Mass, to be Secretary of State. The vote was 94 to 3,





World's greatest deliberative body, Ladies and Gentlemen.....
Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at September 10, 2013 07:50 PM (kdS6q)

Ohhh that's gonna leave a mark. Well played

Posted by: Nevergiveup at September 10, 2013 07:51 PM (9Xc5j)

120 Here's the question. Will Obama's lateness be longer than his actual speech. I still think we need a poll with how late will Obama be? As the question. 5 10 15 20 and 30 minutes or more should be sufficient.

Posted by: Buzzion at September 10, 2013 07:51 PM (IYB4D)

121
You figure the boys over at Pew are going door to door in the squatters territories?

Posted by: Boss Moss at September 10, 2013 07:51 PM (0axsw)

122 15 minutes


Barry can't do shout-outs in 15 minutes

Posted by: phreshone at September 10, 2013 07:52 PM (Pr6hk)

123 I could swear Kerry wears a rug.
Posted by: Tuna

It's called a merkin.

Posted by: Bruce at September 10, 2013 07:52 PM (cGaIx)

124 You figure the boys over at Pew are going door to door in the squatters territories?
Posted by: Boss Moss at September 10, 2013 07:51 PM (0axsw)


I think they hand out a survey with each suicide vest

Posted by: Nevergiveup at September 10, 2013 07:52 PM (9Xc5j)

125 Yeah.... funny how our Secretary of State, looks like some Batman Villain...

Posted by: Romeo13 at September 10, 2013 07:52 PM (lZBBB)

126 Whew, I've been off the front pages for what, 3 or 4 weeks now! Boy, is this great!

Posted by: Eric Holder at September 10, 2013 07:53 PM (BAS5M)

127 Will Obama acknowledge 9/11 at all? (I *know* he won't acknowledge Benghazi.)

Posted by: Y-not at September 10, 2013 07:53 PM (5H6zj)

128 Tag line for the ONE's speechifying tonite .....

...." Never look a gift horse in the mouth " ....

Posted by: Bill D. Cat at September 10, 2013 07:53 PM (0iJzo)

129 Putin's playing 3 dimensional chess and Barky's playing pull my finger.

Posted by: wierdflunkyonatablet at September 10, 2013 07:53 PM (tlhtD)

130

Team America, Ckuf Yeah!

Posted by: artisanal 'ette at September 10, 2013 07:53 PM (+Wuvu)

131 Ace, I have been told on last thread that Issa won’t do anything, they are all full of it. Carol

Posted by: CarolT at September 10, 2013 07:53 PM (z4WKX)

132 Whew, I've been off the front pages for what, 3 or 4 weeks now! Boy, is this great!
Posted by: Eric Holder at September 10, 2013 07:53 PM (BAS5M)

You can say that again

Posted by: IRS at September 10, 2013 07:53 PM (9Xc5j)

133 I think we should give this entire cadre of motherfuckers a one way ticket to Mogadishu. I cannot believe that we are putting up with this shit.

Carter was George Fucking Washington compared to Obama.

And those around him are just as guilty.

Treason, I say.

Let's start prosecuting them today.

(Yeah, I said "fucking" because sometimes its the only word in the English language that fits.)

Posted by: turfmann at September 10, 2013 07:53 PM (GgGgG)

134
129 Yeah.... funny how our Secretary of State, looks like some Batman Villain...
And the horse he rode in on.

Posted by: Boss Moss at September 10, 2013 07:53 PM (0axsw)

135 I wonder if Snowden can shed some light on what really happened that night (seriously).

Out of all of the abuses this country has suffered since Jan 2009, this is the one thing, above all, that enrages me the most.

Many other things are also worthy of rage and contempt, but what happened that night and the coverup afterwards is the worst.

Posted by: Mayday at September 10, 2013 07:54 PM (eHc+1)

136 I could swear Kerry wears a rug.
Posted by: Tuna

It's seared, seared into his scalp.

Posted by: Beto at September 10, 2013 07:54 PM (MhA4j)

137 the good thing about this is that any dreams Kerry had about running for Pres in 2016 are going down the drain. I recall reading that Kerry was pretty lousy grade-wise as an undergrad, and besides being wrong about pretty much everything foreign policy in the past, he's currently giving a grade A performance as an easily confused intellectual light-weight. Too bad we've gotta pay such a price to show this guy is a blockhead.

Posted by: Mallfly at September 10, 2013 07:54 PM (bJm7W)

138 Obama: "I promised the nation I would 'Go the full bullshit' "--

Aide: {Leans over and whispers in Obama's ear.}

Obama: {Sotto voce, to aide} "Bullworth? What's that?"

Aide: {Whispers again.}

Obama: {Sotto voce, to aide again} "How was I supposed to know? Fuck it. {Facing camera again} Like I said, I promised the nation I would 'Go the full bullshit,' so I come before you today...".

Posted by: zombie at September 10, 2013 07:54 PM (TZ7GJ)

139 Obama knows nobody is interested in what he has to say other than the MSM toadies.

Posted by: Tuna at September 10, 2013 07:55 PM (M/TDA)

140 Putin's playing 3 dimensional chess and Barky's playing pull my finger.

***

The Chinese finger trap

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at September 10, 2013 07:55 PM (DmNpO)

141 >>Putin's playing 3 dimensional chess and Barky's playing pull my finger.

Everybody here knew exactly what Putin was doing so no, no 3 dimensional chess.

It's just that Obama is dumb.

Posted by: JackStraw at September 10, 2013 07:55 PM (g1DWB)

142 I'm saying he'll be 24 minutes late, speech will only be 11 stuttering, mumbling, self-praising minutes.

Posted by: mugiwara at September 10, 2013 07:55 PM (hpYnL)

143 John Kerry, world renowned peace negotiator, doesn't have time to co-ordinate congressional testimony because he's tied up in Switzerland negotiating peace with the Russians.

Posted by: Pie Man at September 10, 2013 07:56 PM (wE9RS)

144 I could swear Kerry wears a rug.
Posted by: Tuna


More accurately, the rug is wearing Kerry -- or rather, the biomass formerly known as John Kerry.

Posted by: zombie at September 10, 2013 07:56 PM (TZ7GJ)

145 Threedimensional chutes and ladders.

Posted by: Boss Moss at September 10, 2013 07:56 PM (0axsw)

146 Too bad we've gotta pay such a price to show this guy is a blockhead.

Posted by: Mallfly at September 10, 2013 07:54 PM

There's a YouTube somewhere of John Bolton cutting his balls off and making him eat them. metaphorically speaking.

Posted by: Beto at September 10, 2013 07:56 PM (MhA4j)

147 "Obama... Tell me how my ass taste." - Vlad The Impaler.

Posted by: JD Nock at September 10, 2013 07:57 PM (v+kE7)

148

Please, someone hack me tonight.

Posted by: teleprompter at September 10, 2013 07:57 PM (+Wuvu)

149 Unbelievably small huh? Is that camera gonna only show him from the waist down? There isn't enough alcohol in the world to get me to watch this.

Posted by: Molly k. at September 10, 2013 07:57 PM (sVKy/)

150 He better pull that thumb out of his cheek or it may leave a dent in the silly putty.

Posted by: wth at September 10, 2013 07:58 PM (wAQA5)

151

By the way, Obama's speech tonight will be "unbelievably small," just 15 minutes long.


... only 15 minutes ... of air time ... ?


Ahhhh, the much-vaunted Air Snub™ commences ...

Posted by: Arbalest at September 10, 2013 07:58 PM (FlRtG)

152 It's going to be interesting to see what the ratings for this speech look like.




What if Obama speechifies, and no viewers show up?

Posted by: cthulhu at September 10, 2013 07:58 PM (T1005)

153 Great job, SCOAMF/Kerry. Syria is now moving its chemical weapon stocks into Lebanon - into the hands of Hezbollah.

All that the inspectors will "find" will be a few jars of Janitor in a Drum.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at September 10, 2013 07:58 PM (WjLUf)

154 a small little creature, with a small little brain giving a small little speech to all the small little sheep who were dumb enough to vote for him.

Posted by: Mayor George Zimmerman at September 10, 2013 07:58 PM (q+fqH)

155 Soyuz TMA-08M has undocked from the ISS and is moving away for return to Earth later tonight. Nice video from ISS on NASA TV.

Posted by: rickl at September 10, 2013 07:58 PM (sdi6R)

156 I know I read this over at PJ Media but couldn’t remember when, it was in May. Two more whistleblowers were supposed to come forward about Benghazi.
http://tinyurl.com/kyppowy

I wonder what happened to the two of them? Did SCOAMF get to them? I think the JEF bribes people with dirt on them gathered by NSA, etc.

Posted by: CarolT at September 10, 2013 07:58 PM (z4WKX)

157 154 It smooths out when they put him back in the egg at night

Posted by: Beto at September 10, 2013 07:58 PM (MhA4j)

158 Please, someone hack me tonight.

Posted by: teleprompter at September 10, 2013 07:57 PM (+Wuvu)


It will make zero sense either way

Posted by: phreshone at September 10, 2013 07:58 PM (Pr6hk)

159 Tomorrow is Sept. 11. What are the odds anybody in this chuckle factory is prepared for anything?

Posted by: VADM (Red) Cuthbert Collingwood (Mentioned in Despatches) at September 10, 2013 07:58 PM (yL0v8)

160 Daily reminder:

Kerry is a prick.

Posted by: WOW at September 10, 2013 07:58 PM (6sqK6)

161 AWWWKKK EPIPHANY!!! and it hurts!!!

In Dr. Horrible's Sing Along Blog... the Head of the Evil League of Evil was???

Yep... Bad Horse....

Coincidence? or Conspiracy??? Is our Secretary of State actually part of the Evil League of Evil's plot to control the WORLD?

Posted by: Romeo13 at September 10, 2013 07:59 PM (lZBBB)

162 I am believably small. Yay, I win!

Posted by: Pee Wee from Porky's at September 10, 2013 07:59 PM (BAS5M)

163 148 I could swear Kerry wears a rug.
Posted by: Tuna

More accurately, the rug is wearing Kerry -- or rather, the biomass formerly known as John Kerry.
Posted by: zombie at September 10, 2013 07:56 PM (TZ7GJ)


One of Ted Danson's throwaways, no doubt.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at September 10, 2013 07:59 PM (WjLUf)

164 "By the way, Obama's speech tonight will be "unbelievably small," just 15 minutes long."

Actually that's a mistake. I just saw the released text for the press and it will only be 15 seconds.

Here's the entire thing:

"No Kaboom for you!"

Posted by: Rocks at September 10, 2013 07:59 PM (qzWDd)

165 "All that the inspectors will "find" will be a few jars of Janitor in a Drum."
LOL

Posted by: Tuna at September 10, 2013 07:59 PM (M/TDA)

166 I dunno it's probably the only time I actually want live tv in a long time. This is another historic FIRST. A Presidential Eat Crow speech to the world.

Posted by: Bigby's Rope a Dope at September 10, 2013 08:00 PM (RLTt1)

167 I'm saying he'll be 24 minutes late, speech will only be 11 stuttering, mumbling, self-praising minutes.
--

We might be in for a surprise tonight. Barry might avoid the usual I, me, my references. I think he'll be in blame-shifting mode and his debacles now become ours, yours, theirs. Though I'm sure he will throw some mockworthly self praise in there if he can.

Posted by: Mayday at September 10, 2013 08:00 PM (eHc+1)

168 A total of twelve Alawite villages were subjected to this horrendous attack. That was a true slaughterhouse. People were mutilated and beheaded. There is even a video that shows a girl being dismembered alive – alive! – by a frame saw. The final death toll exceeded 400, with 150 to 200 people taken hostage. Later some of the hostages were killed, their deaths filmed.

http://po.st/LJCM9o


The President wants to help those that did this

Posted by: Jones in CO at September 10, 2013 08:00 PM (8sCoq)

169 He is on dope dealer savings time.

Posted by: Boss Moss at September 10, 2013 08:01 PM (0axsw)

170 “I must receive confirmation that the [State] Department will makes these witnesses available to Committee investigators by September 24, 2013,” the letter reads.


“Otherwise, I will have no alternative but to consider the use of compulsory process,” the letter adds.




"Compulsory process?" Yeah, because that's worked so well in the past. Congressional subpoena? Pfft! Means nothing! Contempt of Congress charges? HAH! It is to laugh!


Short of forcing Kerry at gunpoint to summon the survivors to appear before Congress, there is NOTHING that will work. THEY DO NOT CARE ABOUT THE LAW.


Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Assault Chelsea Hobbit at September 10, 2013 08:01 PM (CA2NO)

171 It's going to be interesting to see what the ratings for this speech look like.

What if Obama speechifies, and no viewers show up?
--

Too bad they can't break the ratings out between fanboys and hatewatching.

Posted by: Mayday at September 10, 2013 08:01 PM (eHc+1)

172 160 There isn't enough alcohol in the world to get me to watch this.

I rely solely on after-the-fact moron reports myself. My BP can't take the JEF.
Posted by: FUBAR at September 10, 2013 07:58 PM (Cs2tJ)


Indeed. I haven't intentionally watched him since before the Styrofoam Column speech.

Fortunately, there's the return of Soyuz on NASA TV.

Posted by: rickl at September 10, 2013 08:02 PM (sdi6R)

173
Someone asked up thread about CO polls. Polls close at 7 PM local time. (one more hour). Last update on turnout I saw was like this (at around 3 PM)-

Dem: 5,098
Rep: 5,980
Unaffiliated: 3,972

Hard to tell how the unaffiliated will vote, but I would expect a lot of libertarian sentiment in that group. The Dems have had a vigorous GOTV effort with lots of out-of-state help. Shouldn't take too long after the polls close to get some returns.

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at September 10, 2013 08:02 PM (N/Sup)

174
@ my 178-

Those vote numbers are for the El Paso (CO Spgs) vote only, not the one in Pueblo.

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at September 10, 2013 08:03 PM (N/Sup)

175 Is this the speech where Obama comes out naked and straddles a wrecking ball with a sledgehammer?

Also, don't most folks outgrow this level of sexual frustration at a ripe old age of 15, - or usually when one's cherry is popped?

Posted by: Fritz at September 10, 2013 08:04 PM (4u+Q5)

176 An election in Choomorodo?

Posted by: Boss Moss at September 10, 2013 08:04 PM (0axsw)

177 Too bad they can't break the ratings out between fanboys and hatewatching.
Posted by: Mayday


If I hatewatch Obama, does it count as rape?

Posted by: zombie at September 10, 2013 08:04 PM (TZ7GJ)

178 BTW nobody did the "It puts the lotion on its skin" thing and y'all are slackers

Posted by: Bigby's Rope a Dope at September 10, 2013 08:04 PM (RLTt1)

179 The president's speech was, by far, the most magnificent recitation of words in the history of man, summarizing with perfect cadence and expertise the noblest international diplomacy conceived since the formation of nation states.

And that's just my first draft. I think I undersold it.

Posted by: Chris Matthews McDrool at September 10, 2013 08:05 PM (eHIJJ)

180 If I hatewatch Obama, does it count as rape?
--

I think it's more like masochism.

Posted by: Mayday at September 10, 2013 08:06 PM (eHc+1)

181 Saddlesoap.

Posted by: Boss Moss at September 10, 2013 08:06 PM (0axsw)

182 I dunno it's probably the only time I actually want live tv in a long time. This is another historic FIRST. A Presidential Eat Crow speech to the world.
Posted by: Bigby’s Rope a Dope at September 10, 2013 08:00 PM (RLTt1)

Are you nuts? SCOAMF eat crow in a speech? No, he’ll blame someone. Let us know because I don’t believe many here will watch him.

Posted by: CarolT at September 10, 2013 08:07 PM (z4WKX)

183 >SQUEEEEE!!<

Obama's speech is going to be AMAZING!

Posted by: C. Lostomy-Bhagge, Woman of Colon at September 10, 2013 08:07 PM (3kf8y)

184 I have Mark Levin on now. He just started calling them nitwits. Thanks Captain Hate.
Carol

Posted by: CarolT at September 10, 2013 08:08 PM (z4WKX)

185 "Compulsory process?" Yeah, because that's worked
so well in the past. Congressional subpoena? Pfft! Means nothing!
Contempt of Congress charges? HAH! It is to laugh!





Short of forcing Kerry at gunpoint to summon the survivors to
appear before Congress, there is NOTHING that will work. THEY DO NOT
CARE ABOUT THE LAW.







Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Assault Chelsea Hobbit at September 10, 2013 08:01 PM (CA2NO)

I agree that it will be fruitless but Issa ought to go ahead anyway. For one thing, it's his job, and for another, it registers some sort of pushback. Doing nothing looks too much like acquiescence.

Posted by: Retread at September 10, 2013 08:08 PM (Oz+LZ)

186 Mayday: "Too bad they can't break the ratings out between fanboys and hatewatching."

Add up the total number of media mouthpieces and subtract five percent. That gets you Net Fanboy Total.

From the Total Viewership, subtract Net Fanboy Total.

That equals the approximate Hatewatching Total.

Posted by: AnonymousNielsenDrivel at September 10, 2013 08:11 PM (eHIJJ)

187 So, damnit, John F'n Kerry just used my "Fuck You, Next Question"?!?!?! He actually let slip from those freakishly frozen lips the initials FYNQ?

Son of a bitch is going to hear from my lawyer . . . er, me, since I'm a lawyer.

What's the world coming to, anyway?

Posted by: Sharkman at September 10, 2013 08:11 PM (8+xjO)

188 NASA TV coverage has ended until 9"45 pm EDT, when they will return to cover Soyuz's deorbit burn.

It's bringing back two Russians and the American Chris Cassidy.

I think I watched the launch of this Soyuz back in March. Like I've said before, for this child of the Cold War, I think it's cool to be able to watch Russian spaceflights live on the internet.

Posted by: rickl at September 10, 2013 08:16 PM (sdi6R)

189 Maybe it's the Mission Impossible TV series where Rollin Hand could put on a rubber face and look like anybody in ten minutes except clone Kerry is not as good as Rollin Hand.

Posted by: WalrusRex at September 10, 2013 08:17 PM (sZFXZ)

190 It's Obama's Neville Chamberlain moment, and he's making Chamberlain look good. Unfortunately we don't havea Churchill around.

Posted by: Jim in Virginia at September 10, 2013 08:21 PM (UGPoq)

191 What surprises me the most about this whole affair is that they even make John Kerry Halloween masks.

I'm also a bit curious as to how no one in the White House has noticed that some hopped-up Rooskie thespian in a $5.99 rubber Kerry mask is masquerading as the Sec of State, while the real John Kerry is presumably tied up belowdecks in a yacht safely anchored in a tax-free harbor somewhere.

But that's not nearly as interesting as the business plan behind making those masks in the first place. Are they part of some "Great Secretaries of State Throughout History" halloween mask series?

Posted by: zombie at September 10, 2013 08:21 PM (TZ7GJ)

192 I can barely say this with a straight face but, they may be forced to go to Joey Choo Coo Biden for some Foreign Policy Gravitas before Herman Munster uses son Eddie as his go-to fixer.

Posted by: ontherocks at September 10, 2013 08:29 PM (7wuh0)

193
Herman Munster will go to Grandpa first.


... this will end extremely badly.

Posted by: Arbalest at September 10, 2013 08:35 PM (FlRtG)

194 Demanding access??? The USMC colonel is living in his home in VA.

Posted by: occam at September 10, 2013 08:35 PM (jgE4V)

195 199 Occtard,

So Occtard Ogabe lifted the NDAs?


Posted by: sven10077 at September 10, 2013 08:36 PM (9jfyN)

196 Aaaand occam's still got nothing.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Assault Hobbit Chelsea at September 10, 2013 08:45 PM (CA2NO)

197 From the analogy of Welles/"Worlds" the logician can infer the possibility of the rickroll.











[P.S. Cute kittehs, and I hope those were control-evolutions in the course of the space ship.]

Posted by: Cretin, sliding down leftward from the crest of the moron bell-curve at September 10, 2013 09:27 PM (tfSla)

198 “Otherwise, I will have no alternative but to consider the use of compulsory process, the letter adds.”

And when he defies that process, then what?

Posted by: Blacque Jacques Shellacque at September 10, 2013 09:43 PM (ItfcE)

199 As President Obama ran to election victory last fall with claims that al Qaeda was “decimated” and “on the run,” his intelligence team was privately offering a different assessment that the terrorist movement was shifting resources and capabilities to emerging spinoff groups in Africa that posed fresh threats to American security.

Top U.S. officials, including the president, were told in the summer and fall of 2012 that the African offshoots were gaining money, lethal knowledge and a mounting determination to strike U.S. and Western interests while keeping in some contact with al Qaeda’s central leadership, said several people directly familiar with the intelligence.

The gulf between the classified briefings and Mr. Obama’s pronouncements on the campaign trail touched off a closed-door debate inside the intelligence community about whether the terrorist group’s demise was being overstated for political reasons, officials told The Washington Times.

Posted by: Islamic Rage Boy at September 10, 2013 09:46 PM (e8kgV)

200 I honestly can't even look at Kerry on second more. That new Guy Smiley chin is just annoying for me,and embarrassing for him.

Posted by: Jack Saturday at September 10, 2013 10:18 PM (wlC5F)

201 Comment spotted at Yahoo news:

"If he wants to punish Syria, why doesn't he go be *their* President?"

Posted by: Mike Hammer at September 10, 2013 10:22 PM (aDwsi)

202 Putin 2016: He Kept Us Out Of War.

Posted by: BuddyPC at September 11, 2013 12:00 AM (bYQ1a)

203 Kerry looks like a gerbil: small mouth, big cheeks. Seriously, he could hold a whole bag of sunflower seeds in those things.

Posted by: HeftyJo at September 11, 2013 06:12 PM (+BqEV)






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