New App Teaches Women How to Find Their Vaginas

I think GOP senators must have the Beta of this app.

Anyway, I could summarize the summary, but then, you could just click that link. It's easier for both of us if you do that. Note: The link goes to ViralRead, a conservative news site, but it does contain highly-stylized Hello Kitty cutesy-cartoon representations of a vagina.

Anthropomorphization of poon, if you will. I think it's pretty safe because it's not immediately obvious what they cutesy cartoon creature is supposed to be, and also, the point of the article is news/commentary, not porn or anything. Though, as usual, sexual language is in play (the app is designed to teach women that snicking their snootch feelz good, because apparently that's a Big Secret That Society Is Hiding From You.)

It's my belief it's Safe For Work, but that's just my belief, and I don't know your boss.

The only thing shocking about this story is that, apparently, US taxpayers are not, I repeat not, paying for it. Man bites dog! What a mitzvah!

Hallelujah! And they said it couldn't happen!

There's a ridiculous cultural-left woman-infantilizing boondoggle going on somewhere and we're not paying for it!!!!

That said, I bet you in two weeks we find there's some sort of NEA grant flowing into this dope's pocket pool.

Posted by: Ace at 03:26 PM



Comments

1 1st

Posted by: ALH at June 28, 2013 03:27 PM (yAPdC)

2 OK, is it a safe link?

Posted by: Y-not at June 28, 2013 03:27 PM (5H6zj)

3 Classy.

Posted by: RiverC, White Chocolate Emancipator at June 28, 2013 03:27 PM (El+h4)

4 I didn't know my vagina was lost.

Posted by: ALH at June 28, 2013 03:28 PM (yAPdC)

5 Will this guy's follow-up be an app designed to set off a cell phone's vibration function at adjustable levels of frequency and magnitude on a timer?

Posted by: Brandon In Baton Rouge at June 28, 2013 03:28 PM (a3iAA)

6 I swear the second .gif looks like a manatee.

Posted by: Brother Cavil, in his happy place at June 28, 2013 03:28 PM (zUi7I)

7 >>>is it a safe link?

well... good point, let me address that in the post.

Posted by: ace at June 28, 2013 03:28 PM (LCRYB)

8 You never know what you got until it's gone.

Posted by: ALH at June 28, 2013 03:29 PM (yAPdC)

9 Twat's that? I cunt hear you. Ear infucktion.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at June 28, 2013 03:29 PM (+98Gb)

10 Skyrockets in flight
Oooooooh
Afternoon delight.

Posted by: JackStraw at June 28, 2013 03:29 PM (g1DWB)

11 Would. You. Like. To. Play. A. Game.

Posted by: Joshua the Pervy Computer at June 28, 2013 03:29 PM (fWAjv)

12 Barack Obama is a stuttering clusterf*ck of a malignant traitor.

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) at June 28, 2013 03:29 PM (/PCJa)

13 Burn it down.
Scatter the stones.
Salt the earth where it stood.

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) at June 28, 2013 03:29 PM (/PCJa)

14 My wife's phone is pointing at a picture of a Senator from Florida.

Posted by: sven10077 at June 28, 2013 03:30 PM (gVJRT)

15
Nice ba-zing on the R-Senators.

Posted by: soothsayer at June 28, 2013 03:30 PM (LVtr+)

16 How do I get my hands on some of that filthy...


....government lucre?


Posted by: J.J. Sefton at June 28, 2013 03:30 PM (+98Gb)

17 I thought they covered this in the South Park movie.

Posted by: grognard at June 28, 2013 03:30 PM (/29Nl)

18 Allen, what's the second verse of BO is a SCoaMF?

Posted by: ALH at June 28, 2013 03:30 PM (yAPdC)

19 Are they taking volunteers in this vagina search?

Posted by: Dr Spank at June 28, 2013 03:31 PM (v1mq9)

20 Erm....
"A 55-year-old woman in the Netherlands ... experienced unwanted orgasms that started in her foot, according to a new report of her case."
http://tinyurl.com/qbnx956

Posted by: speedster1 at June 28, 2013 03:31 PM (v40Bj)

21 10 Skyrockets in flight
Oooooooh
Afternoon delight.
Posted by: JackStraw at June 28, 2013 03:29 PM (g1DWB)



"....Here he comes! Here's the throw! Here's the play at the plate! Holy cow, I think he's gonna make it..."




Posted by: J.J. Sefton at June 28, 2013 03:31 PM (+98Gb)

22 Is there one to help the GOP find their balls?

Posted by: kbdabear at June 28, 2013 03:31 PM (/9IC1)

23
A post about finding one's vagina peppered with pictures of fireworks.

I'm getting a kinda funny feel'n'......

Posted by: @JohnTant at June 28, 2013 03:31 PM (PFy0L)

24 What "social stigma".

There are no more social stigmas.

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at June 28, 2013 03:31 PM (jjvz+)

25 If the app doesn't work give me a call. I'm always up for a vagina search.

Posted by: Lucky Pierre at June 28, 2013 03:31 PM (5fSr7)

26 tapping foot impatiently

C'mon confirmation email!!

Posted by: RWC at June 28, 2013 03:31 PM (fWAjv)

27 How do I get my hands on some of that filthy...


....government lucre?


First, take all your decency, and get rid of it.
Second, get rid of some other peoples' too.
Third, come up with the most insulting idea toward some "victim" group you can.
Fourth, repackage your insulting idea as being "for" that "victim" group.
Fifth: profit.

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) at June 28, 2013 03:31 PM (/PCJa)

28 Wow, your entire society is just packed full of useless self indulgent shit, isn't it?

Posted by: Nero being fed grapes at June 28, 2013 03:32 PM (cGlgB)

29 I should have created this app. I didn't even need a map to find mine!

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at June 28, 2013 03:32 PM (jjvz+)

30 I will find women's vaginas for them for cheap (free in most cases)

Posted by: Lemmiwinks at June 28, 2013 03:32 PM (SkyIE)

31 The G-Spot is completely CG.

Posted by: toby928© Red Partisan at June 28, 2013 03:32 PM (codCi)

32 13 Burn it down.
Scatter the stones.
Salt the earth where it stood.
Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) at June 28, 2013 03:29 PM (/PCJa)



Maybe we should start with just vinegar and water, no?


Posted by: J.J. Sefton at June 28, 2013 03:32 PM (+98Gb)

33 Thanks for the clarification, ace.

I won't let my doggeh, who gets off on Hello Kitty images, follow the link.

Posted by: Y-not at June 28, 2013 03:32 PM (5H6zj)

34 I'll find it for free, I have two dogs that are both half Beagle.

Posted by: Oldsailors Poet Palin/Bolton 2016 at June 28, 2013 03:32 PM (XIxXP)

35 31 I will find women's vaginas for them for cheap (free in most cases)
Posted by: Lemmiwinks at June 28, 2013 03:32 PM (SkyIE)



I've got my douser all aflutter...

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at June 28, 2013 03:32 PM (+98Gb)

36 Chemjeff should also probably avoid the link until he has private time.

heh

Posted by: Y-not at June 28, 2013 03:32 PM (5H6zj)

37 Need a snootch map?

Posted by: steevy at June 28, 2013 03:32 PM (9XBK2)

38 How did I ever get by before Apps?

Posted by: Jane D'oh at June 28, 2013 03:33 PM (lVPtV)

39 Creepy ass crackas always losing they vajayjay. Sir.

Posted by: Jenteal at June 28, 2013 03:33 PM (+5Xv8)

40 24 What "social stigma".

There are no more social stigmas.

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at June 28, 2013 03:31 PM (jjvz+)

Easy. Heterosexual.

Posted by: RWC at June 28, 2013 03:33 PM (fWAjv)

41 Nice fireworks.

But Canada Dominion Day is on Monday

Posted by: Waterhouse at June 28, 2013 03:33 PM (Kppp9)

42 Skyrockets in flight
Oooooooh
Afternoon delight.

***

The song that was playing during my first ever make-out party. I was 12 and the only girl who wasn't making out with someone.

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at June 28, 2013 03:33 PM (jjvz+)

43 I heard that Where's My Vagina will be airing in the prime time slot after Ow My Balls.

Posted by: grognard at June 28, 2013 03:33 PM (/29Nl)

44 I keep them in the fridge, sorted by alphabet.

Posted by: Ed Gein at June 28, 2013 03:34 PM (8ZskC)

45
Vaginas again. Why did it have to be vaginas?

Posted by: Dave in Texas at June 28, 2013 03:34 PM (WvXvd)

46 Who needs an app.

Just give Harry Reid a bag full of Tootsie Pops and he'll find plenty, though not exactly the right age.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at June 28, 2013 03:34 PM (+98Gb)

47 Male babies find their dicks while they're still in utero.

Posted by: steevy at June 28, 2013 03:34 PM (9XBK2)

48 I was 12 and the only girl who wasn't making out with someone.

The bottle spun in vain.

Posted by: toby928© Red Partisan at June 28, 2013 03:34 PM (codCi)

49
Schumer, Rubio, and McCain are sponsoring a bill that will allow vaginas to come out of the shadows.


Posted by: soothsayer at June 28, 2013 03:34 PM (xIzGn)

50 What about Man-Ginas? Is the technology available for that?

Posted by: ALH at June 28, 2013 03:34 PM (yAPdC)

51 (the app is designed to teach women that snicking their snootch feelz good, because apparently that's a Big Secret That Society Is Hiding From You.)

O_o

OTOH, their biggest supporter group is made up of people who practice female genital mutilation. So maybe this *is* news to them.

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) at June 28, 2013 03:34 PM (/PCJa)

52 It has a talking vjj cartoon and it isn't from Japan?

Posted by: Drew in MO at June 28, 2013 03:34 PM (cGlgB)

53 Why does this Post look like 'Love, American Style"?

Posted by: Romeo13 at June 28, 2013 03:34 PM (lZBBB)

54 The song that was playing during my first ever make-out party. I was 12 and the only girl who wasn't making out with someone.
Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at June 28, 2013 03:33 PM (jjvz+)

Did you go home and break out your Janis Ian album?

Posted by: Oldsailors Poet Palin/Bolton 2016 at June 28, 2013 03:34 PM (XIxXP)

55 Finally! If it wasn't for this app I'd still be a virgin. Where can I get gov't funded birth control?

Posted by: Life of Julia at June 28, 2013 03:34 PM (nm4/M)

56 Meh. Write an app that help me find a vagina, and NOW your on to something.

Posted by: Men Everywhere at June 28, 2013 03:34 PM (Kkt/i)

57 Next up, app to help journalist find their ass with a map and a flashlight

Posted by: kbdabear at June 28, 2013 03:34 PM (/9IC1)

58 Easy. Heterosexual.

***

Being a heterosexual is sooo, like, early-20th century!

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at June 28, 2013 03:34 PM (jjvz+)

59 Dude that is some scary shit.

Posted by: blaster at June 28, 2013 03:35 PM (W6bkf)

60 Why does this Post look like 'Love, American Style"?
Posted by: Romeo13 at June 28, 2013 03:34 PM (lZBBB)


Thank you for that memory, I loved that show.

Posted by: Oldsailors Poet Palin/Bolton 2016 at June 28, 2013 03:35 PM (XIxXP)

61 42 The song that was playing during my first ever make-out party. I was 12 and the only girl who wasn't making out with someone.
Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at June 28, 2013 03:33 PM (jjvz+)


Steve Miller's "The Joker." Ugh!!!!!!

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at June 28, 2013 03:35 PM (+98Gb)

62 I see box office dynamite.

Dude, Where's My Vagina?

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at June 28, 2013 03:35 PM (8ZskC)

63 Does TSA have this app?

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at June 28, 2013 03:35 PM (dV6An)

64 22
Is there one to help the GOP find their balls?



Posted by: kbdabear at June 28, 2013 03:31 PM (/9IC1)



Thread winner. Close it down.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at June 28, 2013 03:35 PM (lVPtV)

65 54-- hah.

Posted by: ace at June 28, 2013 03:35 PM (LCRYB)

66 It is sadly typical of the alleged humor of this site to mock womyn's attempts to wrest control of the narrative of their sexuality from the dominant patriarchal norm with militarily inspired illustrations. Not to mention the obvious sexual connotations of the "explosions".

Posted by: alexthelibchick - COEXIST at June 28, 2013 03:35 PM (VtjlW)

67 And.... uh.... Ladies???

Wouldn't you rather have your MAN have this information?

Posted by: Romeo13 at June 28, 2013 03:35 PM (lZBBB)

68 Found mine!

Posted by: Lindsey Graham at June 28, 2013 03:35 PM (+5Xv8)

69 Ettes! You are saved!

Posted by: EC at June 28, 2013 03:35 PM (GQ8sn)

70 52 It has a talking vjj cartoon and it isn't from Japan?
Posted by: Drew in MO at June 28, 2013 03:34 PM (cGlgB)


I didn't think they celebrate VJ Day in Japan.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at June 28, 2013 03:35 PM (+98Gb)

71 Gee if I only had that app growing up in the 60/70s think about all the frigid girls I could have educated, ur not to mention a young me.

Posted by: Nevergiveup at June 28, 2013 03:36 PM (jE38p)

72 [
There's a ridiculous cultural-left woman-infantilizing boondoggle going on somewhere and we're not paying for it!!!!


Unpossible!

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Assault Hobbit at June 28, 2013 03:36 PM (4df7R)

73 It is sadly typical of the alleged humor of this site to mock womyn's attempts to wrest control of the narrative of their sexuality from the dominant patriarchal norm with militarily inspired illustrations. Not to mention the obvious sexual connotations of the "explosions".


Umm.

Yes?

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) at June 28, 2013 03:36 PM (/PCJa)

74 snicking their snootch


This is the kind of prose that keeps me coming back to the HQ. Well, that and ONT dog videos.

Posted by: joncelli at June 28, 2013 03:36 PM (RD7QR)

75 Caan't click the link. Somebody remind me which arm it's under?

Posted by: CSMBigBird at June 28, 2013 03:36 PM (jsWA8)

76 All roads lead to Sandra fluke.

Posted by: NCKate at June 28, 2013 03:36 PM (Y0+zr)

77 Now if someone would design an app that teaches GOP politicians how to find their ass with either hand.

Posted by: Vic at June 28, 2013 03:36 PM (lZvxr)

78 I see box office dynamite.

Dude, Where's My Vagina?


Starring Megan McCain and Abe Vigoda.

Posted by: Ian S. at June 28, 2013 03:36 PM (B/VB5)

79 67
And.... uh.... Ladies???



Wouldn't you rather have your MAN have this information?




TFG: *searches for app, while throwing up in his mouth*

Posted by: Jane D'oh at June 28, 2013 03:36 PM (lVPtV)

80 Oh hell no
This thread is a trap

You know damn well some of our wives lurk here

Posted by: Navycopjoe at June 28, 2013 03:36 PM (E8hSa)

81 This has been a great week for the site as it ever-so-slowly attempts to overcome its Twin Fears of the vagine and brown people.

Posted by: Andy at June 28, 2013 03:36 PM (8vKPP)

82 Fap app?

Posted by: Tami at June 28, 2013 03:36 PM (X6akg)

83 54 The song that was playing during my first ever make-out party. I was 12 and the only girl who wasn't making out with someone.
Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at June 28, 2013 03:33 PM (jjvz+)

Did you go home and break out your Janis Ian album?
Posted by: Oldsailors Poet Palin/Bolton 2016 at June 28, 2013 03:34 PM (XIxXP)


Better that than Hellen Reddy's "Ruby Red Dress" or "Angie Baby."

Barf.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at June 28, 2013 03:36 PM (+98Gb)

84 Hey, where can I find some pussy around here?

Posted by: Joe Biden at June 28, 2013 03:36 PM (/9IC1)

85 "New App Teaches Women How to Find Their Vaginas"
Given that the typical liberal of whatever gender can't find their ass with both hands, a map, and a flashlight, this vagina-finding app must really have some serious technology in it.

Posted by: torquewrench at June 28, 2013 03:36 PM (gqT4g)

86 Before the Information Age vaginas could only be located by using trained dogs.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at June 28, 2013 03:37 PM (8ZskC)

87
OK, is it a safe link?

Posted by: Y-not at June 28, 2013 03:27 PM (5H6zj)







At the HQ? Surely you jest.

Although, this seems like a perfect time to "accidentally" post a link to busty lesbian pron.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at June 28, 2013 03:37 PM (TIIx5)

88 78 I see box office dynamite.

Dude, Where's My Vagina?

Starring Megan McCain and Abe Vigoda.
Posted by: Ian S. at June 28, 2013 03:36 PM (B/VB5)


Brian Dennehy as... Brian Dennehy.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at June 28, 2013 03:37 PM (+98Gb)

89 If this came from Japan there would be tentacles.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at June 28, 2013 03:37 PM (dV6An)

90 Did you go home and break out your Janis Ian album?

****

My best friend, Monica Mueller, was a total slut at 12 years old. I had never even kissed a boy but she had already done the deed.

She lived in a mansion with a guest house out back and, believe it or not, her parents left the horny boys alone with the girls for hours to party in the guest house.

I was scared to death.

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at June 28, 2013 03:37 PM (jjvz+)

91 @ 50, ALH,


What about manginas?



I believe we have one of those for president now.

Now the flip side is clit penises. Eewwww!

You would have to talk to Moochell about that.



Posted by: Fat at June 28, 2013 03:37 PM (xwPSX)

92 Caan't click the link. Somebody remind me which arm it's under?
Posted by: CSMBigBird at June 28, 2013 03:36 PM (jsWA


No silly, it's inbetween their breasts.

Posted by: Oldsailors Poet Palin/Bolton 2016 at June 28, 2013 03:37 PM (XIxXP)

93 What about Man-Ginas? Is the technology available for that?


Hands. Chair. Sit. Some assembly required.

Posted by: rickb223 at June 28, 2013 03:37 PM (ix+5k)

94 Can't they just use Google Maps?

Posted by: steevy at June 28, 2013 03:37 PM (9XBK2)

95 Missing vagina posters on trees everywhere.

Posted by: eman at June 28, 2013 03:37 PM (AO9UG)

96 68
Found mine!

Posted by: Lindsey Graham at June 28, 2013 03:35 PM (+5Xv



dammit *cleans off monitor*

Posted by: Jane D'oh at June 28, 2013 03:38 PM (lVPtV)

97 Dude, Where's My Her Vagina?
Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at June 28, 2013 03:35 PM (8ZskC)


More appropriate, at least for the average teenager on prom night.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Assault Hobbit at June 28, 2013 03:38 PM (4df7R)

98 Posted by: alexthelibchick - COEXIST

Uh-oh. Now we've done it.

Posted by: HeatherRadish™ needs a beer at June 28, 2013 03:38 PM (/kI1Q)

99 Is there one to help the GOP find their balls?

You must cut and paste Ace's title with your reply and tweet it to Boehner and other Repub. members of the House.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at June 28, 2013 03:38 PM (Ur+CA)

100 I will never again view fireworks in the same way.

Posted by: Skandia Recluse at June 28, 2013 03:38 PM (HxdT8)

101 Posted by: Oldsailors Poet Palin/Bolton 2016 at June 28, 2013 03:35 PM (XIxXP)


Yeah... the good ole days... when we had semi normal people, having Happy Endings... on a weekly basis!

Posted by: Romeo13 at June 28, 2013 03:38 PM (lZBBB)

102 OT/

RE: GZ Trial

Officer testifies that on the scene GM stated he cried for help but no one would come to aide.

Posted by: Serious Cat at June 28, 2013 03:38 PM (UypUQ)

103 Wouldn't you rather have your MAN have this information?

Like they ever follow directions.

Posted by: HeatherRadish™ needs a beer at June 28, 2013 03:38 PM (/kI1Q)

104 Can't they just use Google Maps?

Not all of them are Jeantel.

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) at June 28, 2013 03:38 PM (/PCJa)

105 Fap app?


Kate Upton website.

Posted by: rickb223 at June 28, 2013 03:38 PM (ix+5k)

106 This thing seems to be broken or something.

Posted by: Chaz Bono at June 28, 2013 03:38 PM (8ZskC)

107 Can the app find "Axel the Chick" referenced in the previous thread?

Posted by: kbdabear at June 28, 2013 03:39 PM (/9IC1)

108
Bill Clinton was all for The Roadmap To Peace, but he thought it was The Roadmap To A Piece -- a guide to finding vaginas.


Posted by: soothsayer at June 28, 2013 03:39 PM (vanqS)

109 I need the app to find Kate Upton's décolletage.

Actually, I don't.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at June 28, 2013 03:39 PM (+98Gb)

110 'Sorry. Your Princess is in Another Castle.'




Well fuck you too app.

Posted by: RWC at June 28, 2013 03:39 PM (fWAjv)

111 103 Ha!We never ask for directions.

Posted by: steevy at June 28, 2013 03:39 PM (9XBK2)

112 Wow, it rains every afternoon now.

Climate is definitely different, but I wouldn't say 'warmer'.

Can we just call it 'Climate Weirding'?

Posted by: RiverC, White Chocolate Emancipator at June 28, 2013 03:39 PM (El+h4)

113 Can't they just use Google Maps?



Go. Down. Six. Inches.

Posted by: EC at June 28, 2013 03:39 PM (GQ8sn)

114 Not all of them are Jeantel.
Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) at June 28, 2013 03:38 PM (/PCJa)


Do Google Maps come in cursive now?

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Assault Hobbit at June 28, 2013 03:39 PM (4df7R)

115 102
OT/

RE: GZ Trial

Officer testifies that on the scene GM stated he cried for help but no one would come to aide.




Jeebus, wrap this travesty up already and send GZ home.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at June 28, 2013 03:40 PM (lVPtV)

116 Go. Down. Six. Inches.
Posted by: EC at June 28, 2013 03:39 PM (GQ8sn)


lol!

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Assault Hobbit at June 28, 2013 03:40 PM (4df7R)

117 So does this mean we lost the war on women?

Posted by: Lemmiwinks at June 28, 2013 03:40 PM (SkyIE)

118 Better that than Hellen Reddy's "Ruby Red Dress" or "Angie Baby."

Barf.


Posted by: J.J. Sefton at June 28, 2013 03:36 PM (+98Gb)

Gypsies Tramps and thieves...

Posted by: Sher at June 28, 2013 03:40 PM (lZBBB)

119 Wow, it rains every afternoon now.

Dude, you suck.

Here in N. Texas we've started Summer. Pretty soon will Come High Summer. Then Still Summer. And for the next 100+ days we are unlikely to see a single drop of rain.

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) at June 28, 2013 03:40 PM (/PCJa)

120 RWC is poor Mario?

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at June 28, 2013 03:40 PM (dV6An)

121 What we need is an app that teaches Republicans how to find their balls.

Posted by: WalrusRex at June 28, 2013 03:40 PM (XUKZU)

122 104 Can't they just use Google Maps?

Not all of them are Jeantel.
Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) at June 28, 2013 03:38 PM (/PCJa)



That be the crazy-ass cracka' app.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at June 28, 2013 03:40 PM (+98Gb)

123 Go. Down. Six. Inches. Posted by: EC at June 28, 2013 03:39 PM (GQ8sn)

Your destination will be directly ahead.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Assault Hobbit at June 28, 2013 03:40 PM (4df7R)

124 Modern feminism: weak-willed, hysterical, stupid, developmentally stunted women that think all women are that way, and it isn't their fault, and SOMETHING MUST BE DONE no matter how inane, odd, or stultifying.

Posted by: shillelagh at June 28, 2013 03:41 PM (hRzu2)

125
Do Google Maps come in cursive now?
Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Assault Hobbit at June 28, 2013 03:39 PM (4df7R)

At least in the future when the war with the FSA erupts, we have an unbreakable code.

Posted by: Oldsailors Poet Palin/Bolton 2016 at June 28, 2013 03:41 PM (XIxXP)

126 118 Posted by: J.J. Sefton at June 28, 2013 03:36 PM (+98Gb)

Gypsies Tramps and thieves...
Posted by: Sher at June 28, 2013 03:40 PM (lZBBB)


Why you gotta bring my family into this?

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at June 28, 2013 03:41 PM (+98Gb)

127 RE: GZ Trial

Officer testifies that on the scene GM stated he cried for help but no one would come to aide.

Posted by: Serious Cat at June 28, 2013 03:38 PM (UypUQ)


Also testified Zimmerman's clothes were much wetter on the backside than the front....including grass on the back of his jacket.

Posted by: Tami at June 28, 2013 03:41 PM (X6akg)

128 Jeebus, wrap this travesty up already and send GZ home.

The defense will be the exact opposite of My Cousin Vinny.

"Your Honor- that's exactly what we've been saying from the beginning."

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) at June 28, 2013 03:41 PM (/PCJa)

129 Well there is always this Helen Reddy tune
http://youtu.be/afsp7MU-nTI

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at June 28, 2013 03:41 PM (dV6An)

130 113 Can't they just use Google Maps?



Go. Down. Six. Inches.

Posted by: EC at June 28, 2013 03:39 PM (GQ8sn)


Dandy Sandy Fluke's has an 'Avoid Traffic' option.

Posted by: RWC at June 28, 2013 03:41 PM (fWAjv)

131 Our guest, Dr. Michael Hunt, will explain how this new app works.

Call me Mike.

Posted by: eman at June 28, 2013 03:41 PM (AO9UG)

132 Ladies, if you need help in this department, I'm here for you. For free.

First, I'll need pictures of you ladies.

Second, if we decide to proceed (you're hot), then we'll set up an in home visit if you're local. If you're not local, I'll walk you through a webcam/facetime hookup.

Third, brown chicken brown cow.

Posted by: BCochran1981 at June 28, 2013 03:42 PM (da5Wo)

133 I won't rest until every missing vajayjay is found!

Posted by: Bill Clinton at June 28, 2013 03:42 PM (+5Xv8)

134 I could use that!

Posted by: Rachel Jeantel at June 28, 2013 03:42 PM (WGm5T)

135 Love this in the sidebar:


Kat Von D Splits with DJ Deadmau5Yeah I have no idea what the f**k this sentence means either... just wanted to see if you were awake




You love us, ace. Admit it.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Assault Hobbit at June 28, 2013 03:42 PM (4df7R)

136 Also testified Zimmerman's clothes were much wetter on the backside than the front....including grass on the back of his jacket.



That must have been the "wet grass sound" Dee Dee/Diamond Jeantel heard.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at June 28, 2013 03:42 PM (lVPtV)

137 Is there an app to help guys find the little man in the boat?

Posted by: NCKate at June 28, 2013 03:42 PM (Y0+zr)

138 Can it help us find our manginas?

Posted by: Senate RINOs at June 28, 2013 03:43 PM (4WhSY)

139 129 Well there is always this Helen Reddy tune
http://youtu.be/afsp7MU-nTI
Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at June 28, 2013 03:41 PM (dV6An)


I posted two as dive-for-the-dashboard worthy up-thread, but this one is a tad less sucky.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at June 28, 2013 03:43 PM (+98Gb)

140


ewwww

Posted by: Andi Sullivain at June 28, 2013 03:43 PM (Pr6hk)

141 I could use that!
Posted by: Rachel Jeantel at June 28, 2013 03:42 PM (WGm5T)

It would take a team of professional spelunkers to find that cave.

Posted by: Oldsailors Poet Palin/Bolton 2016 at June 28, 2013 03:43 PM (XIxXP)

142 Kat Von D Splits with DJ Deadmau5Yeah I have no idea what the f**k this sentence means either... just wanted to see if you were awake


Thought she hooked up with Jesse James.

Posted by: EC at June 28, 2013 03:43 PM (GQ8sn)

143 Go. Down. Six. Inches. Posted by: EC at June 28, 2013 03:39 PM (GQ8sn)

Your destination will be directly ahead.
Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Assault Hobbit at June 28, 2013 03:40 PM (4df7R)

Recalculating.

Make a u-turn on Beaver Avenue.

Posted by: eman at June 28, 2013 03:43 PM (AO9UG)

144 137 Is there an app to help guys find the little man in the boat?
Posted by: NCKate at June 28, 2013 03:42 PM (Y0+zr)


I'm channeling Ty-D-Bowl, unless there is an anatomical reference I don't know.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at June 28, 2013 03:43 PM (+98Gb)

145 You've passed your destination, turn around now.

Posted by: Tom Tom at June 28, 2013 03:44 PM (codCi)

146 "vaguely" creepy?

Flash! Officer Smith just lied under oath, denying that he helped Zimmerstand stand up, cuffed in the back of the patrol care, when ordered to stand because he was dizzy. (as if standing while dizzy won't possibly cause more injury, falling, suckers who comply)

Posted by: panzernashorn at June 28, 2013 03:44 PM (MhA4j)

147 It would take a team of professional spelunkers to find that cave.
Posted by: Oldsailors Poet Palin/Bolton 2016 at June 28, 2013 03:43 PM (XIxXP)


I hear the crew that helps Michael Moore find his dick every morning is available.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Assault Hobbit at June 28, 2013 03:44 PM (4df7R)

148 141
I could use that!

Posted by: Rachel Jeantel at June 28, 2013 03:42 PM (WGm5T)




You don't need an app, honey, just a tub of flour.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at June 28, 2013 03:44 PM (lVPtV)

149 143 Go. Down. Six. Inches. Posted by: EC at June 28, 2013 03:39 PM (GQ8sn)

Your destination will be directly ahead.
Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Assault Hobbit at June 28, 2013 03:40 PM (4df7R)

Recalculating.

Make a u-turn on Beaver Avenue.
Posted by: eman at June 28, 2013 03:43 PM (AO9UG)



My G-d! It's full of chlamydia!!!

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at June 28, 2013 03:44 PM (+98Gb)

150 Is there an app to help guys find the little man in the boat?
Posted by: NCKate at June 28, 2013 03:42 PM (Y0+zr)


Oh come on, don't screw up everything. Half the fun is looking for it.

Posted by: Oldsailors Poet Palin/Bolton 2016 at June 28, 2013 03:44 PM (XIxXP)

151 Recalculating.

Make a u-turn on Beaver Avenue.
Posted by: eman at June 28, 2013 03:43 PM (AO9UG)


Wait, you may want to give that back highway a chance. Might still get you there....

Posted by: BCochran1981 at June 28, 2013 03:44 PM (da5Wo)

152 "This is the clitoris"

"Make a circular motion here"


WTF.


clicks 'Print Screen


Who would need this?

Posted by: RWC at June 28, 2013 03:45 PM (fWAjv)

153 Go. Down. Six. Inches. Posted by: EC at June 28, 2013 03:39 PM (GQ8sn)

Your destination will be directly ahead.
Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Assault Hobbit at June 28, 2013 03:40 PM (4df7R)

Recalculating.

Make a u-turn on Beaver Avenue.


Recalculating to avoid mudhole.

Posted by: rickb223 at June 28, 2013 03:45 PM (ix+5k)

154 Speaking of Jeantel, did you hear Beck's reading of her tweets?

I LMAO.

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at June 28, 2013 03:45 PM (jjvz+)

155 148 You don't need an app, honey, just a tub of flour.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at June 28, 2013 03:44 PM (lVPtV)

I almost went there (no, not there). Glad you did!

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at June 28, 2013 03:45 PM (+98Gb)

156 90
Did you go home and break out your Janis Ian album?



****



My best friend, Monica Mueller, was a total slut at 12 years old. I
had never even kissed a boy but she had already done the deed.



She lived in a mansion with a guest house out back and, believe it
or not, her parents left the horny boys alone with the girls for hours
to party in the guest house.



I was scared to death.

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at June 28, 2013 03:37 PM (jjvz+)

You bitch!

Posted by: Monica Mueller at June 28, 2013 03:45 PM (Kkt/i)

157 "Obama called the Republican Speaker of the House, Rep. John Boehner, and
the Democratic leader, Rep. Nancy Pelosi, and “urged them to take up
immigration reform now that the Senate had passed a comprehensive bill
with a large bipartisan majority,” spokesman Jay Carney said during an
informal presconference aboard Air Force One, while flying to Johannesburg, South Africa."
http://tinyurl.com/pztodu5

Rove slams critics of low-immigration political strategy
http://tinyurl.com/pbwyep4

Posted by: caustic at June 28, 2013 03:45 PM (/b8+5)

158 Flash! Officer Smith just lied under oath, denying that he helped Zimmerstand stand up, cuffed in the back of the patrol care, when ordered to stand because he was dizzy.

Wait what?

Can you expand that so it makes some more sense?

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) at June 28, 2013 03:45 PM (/PCJa)

159 My G-d! It's full of chlamydia!!!
Posted by: J.J. Sefton at June 28, 2013 03:44 PM (+98Gb)


New. Keyboard. NOW.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Assault Hobbit at June 28, 2013 03:45 PM (4df7R)

160 Can the RINO's use the app too?

Posted by: caustic at June 28, 2013 03:46 PM (/b8+5)

161 If a non-profit org is in any way involved, taxpayers are providing at least an indirect subsidy. But that seems fair enough, doesn't it?

After all, it is directed at the sort of dumb woman who can't find her own Vee-jay-jay and/or can't figure out what to do with it - in other words, "Obama voters."

Project Obama: The Vagination of America continues . . .

Posted by: Adjoran at June 28, 2013 03:46 PM (473jB)

162 I don't think finding the vajajay is a problem. I think of it more like the vajajay is your house and you misplaced your keys and can't find them. Its the keys that are hard to locate.

And they open everything. iykwimaityd.

Posted by: polynikes at June 28, 2013 03:46 PM (m2CN7)

163 154
Speaking of Jeantel, did you hear Beck's reading of her tweets?



I LMAO.





Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at June 28, 2013 03:45 PM (jjvz+)



Damn. I wonder if it's posted somewhere.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at June 28, 2013 03:46 PM (lVPtV)

164 When this is over, maybe George Zimmerman can take the place of George Zimmer at Men's Wearhouse.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at June 28, 2013 03:46 PM (+98Gb)

165 Posted by: Jane D'oh at June 28, 2013 03:42 PM (lVPtV)

Its that famous Martial Arts move, from the school of Liberal Arts... where you grab your opponent, pull him down on top of you, and then hit his fist with your Face...

Works every time! Its called the Two Fisted Grab of Explosive Victimization!

Posted by: Romeo13 at June 28, 2013 03:46 PM (lZBBB)

166 You bitch!
Posted by: Monica Mueller at June 28, 2013 03:45 PM (Kkt/i)


And YOU owe me a new monitor!

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Assault Hobbit at June 28, 2013 03:46 PM (4df7R)

167
Shock and awe ....Baby!

Posted by: 'Dick' Cheney at June 28, 2013 03:46 PM (4kCMm)

168
I was scared to death.

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at June 28, 2013 03:37 PM (jjvz+)


Apparently you were a good girl and an even better woman.

Posted by: Oldsailors Poet Palin/Bolton 2016 at June 28, 2013 03:47 PM (XIxXP)

169
Kat Von D Splits with DJ Deadmau5Yeah I have no
idea what the f**k this sentence means either... just wanted to see if
you were awake





Thought she hooked up with Jesse James.

Posted by: EC at June 28, 2013 03:43 PM (GQ8sn)






That was earlier that evening.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at June 28, 2013 03:47 PM (TIIx5)

170 If a non-profit org is in any way involved, taxpayers are providing at least an indirect subsidy.

No they're not. Please don't buy into that sloppy form of thinking- it assumes all the money is the governments, and any not given to them is a *cost* to the govt (and, therefore, to the taxpayers).

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) at June 28, 2013 03:47 PM (/PCJa)

171 Is this an early ONT?

Posted by: Jane D'oh at June 28, 2013 03:47 PM (lVPtV)

172
Dude, Where's My Vagina?

Starring Megan McCain and Abe Vigoda.


With Brian Dennehy as the Vagina

Posted by: Armando at June 28, 2013 03:47 PM (5iuEW)

173 TBH3K is in full effect.

Posted by: EC at June 28, 2013 03:47 PM (GQ8sn)

174 Damn it.

Posted by: Armando at June 28, 2013 03:48 PM (5iuEW)

175
Please do not give them any ideas.
Thank you.
-American Taxpayer

Posted by: AMartel at June 28, 2013 03:48 PM (1Bqk7)

176 Anyway, my question is... who the hell NEEDS this app? Fellow 'ettes, I can't speak for any of you, but I'm pretty sure I know where my ladyparts are. I've been familiar with the location since the day I was born. Do I really need an app for this?

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Assault Hobbit at June 28, 2013 03:48 PM (4df7R)

177 Can't they just use Google Maps? Not all of them are Jeantel. Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) at June 28, 2013 03:38 PM (/PCJa)

---------------------------------------------


That is so retarded, sir.

Posted by: Soona at June 28, 2013 03:48 PM (s0z2y)

178 173
TBH3K is in full effect.

Posted by: EC at June 28, 2013 03:47 PM (GQ8sn)


Whut?

Posted by: Jane D'oh at June 28, 2013 03:48 PM (lVPtV)

179 My best friend, Monica Mueller, was a total slut at 12 years old. I had never even kissed a boy but she had already done the deed.



Go on...

Posted by: Roman Polanski at June 28, 2013 03:48 PM (2jQGY)

180 Whut?

Posted by: Jane D'oh at June 28, 2013 03:48 PM (lVPtV)



Refresh quickly and you'll see.

Posted by: EC at June 28, 2013 03:49 PM (GQ8sn)

181 Posted by: Jane D'oh at June 28, 2013 03:48 PM (lVPtV)

Someone is posting and getting auto deleted.

I'm not sure why.

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) at June 28, 2013 03:49 PM (/PCJa)

182 We need an app that directs you to all other app directories.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at June 28, 2013 03:49 PM (+98Gb)

183 why are my posts being deleted? I'm one of the good guys .

Posted by: at June 28, 2013 03:49 PM (qQk+U)


This. Did qQk+U say something naughty while we weren't looking?

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) at June 28, 2013 03:49 PM (/PCJa)

184 The Prosecution is losing it:

Andrew Branca, LOSD ‏@LawSelfDefense 1m #Zimmerman Trial Day 5: Guy: You said GZ wasn't angry, do you know what was thinking when he shot TM? Objection

Posted by: Tom Tom at June 28, 2013 03:50 PM (codCi)

185 Because I strongly support community involvement, I have volunteered to help a number of women who live in my area help find their vaginas, whether they has access to the app or not.

Posted by: MoeRon at June 28, 2013 03:50 PM (J74ez)

186
Howie Carr just now: I understand nothing lasts forever, but I never expected society to commit suicide in my lifetime.

I feel the same way. We do indeed live in exciting times. Not pleasant, but certainly exciting. Things are happening so fast; in our lifetimes we will witness both the apogee of technology and the fall of civilization.


Posted by: soothsayer at June 28, 2013 03:50 PM (xIzGn)

187 The cop smiling...b/c he knows theprosecution's a gaglefuck

Posted by: sven10077 at June 28, 2013 03:50 PM (gVJRT)

188 Its that famous Martial Arts move, from the school of Liberal Arts...
where you grab your opponent, pull him down on top of you, and then hit
his fist with your Face...

***

Lame buffalo, snarlin' wolf.

Posted by: WalrusRex at June 28, 2013 03:50 PM (XUKZU)

189 I'll tell you one thing. I could've used an app to find a girl's vagina the first time I had sex in my teen years. It felt like an eternity before I could...you know...navigate the territory. It seemed so much easier for guys in the movies. All that time watching Cinemax and porn during my teen years was of little help to me.

Posted by: Slappy at June 28, 2013 03:50 PM (LTbLf)

190 184
why are my posts being deleted? I'm one of the good guys .
Help me Mr. Wizard !!


Posted by: at June 28, 2013 03:50 PM (qQk+U)

Posted by: toby928© screams like a little girl at June 28, 2013 03:50 PM (codCi)

191 Okay, who left the BH3K on full-auto?

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) at June 28, 2013 03:51 PM (/PCJa)

192 184 The Prosecution is losing it:

Andrew Branca, LOSD ‏@LawSelfDefense 1m #Zimmerman Trial Day 5: Guy: You said GZ wasn't angry, do you know what was thinking when he shot TM? Objection
Posted by: Tom Tom at June 28, 2013 03:50 PM (codCi)



I expect a motion to dismiss at any moment...

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at June 28, 2013 03:51 PM (+98Gb)

193 Am I supposed to know who Kat von D is? And will those kids ever get off my damn lawn?

Posted by: joncelli at June 28, 2013 03:51 PM (RD7QR)

194
why are my posts being deleted? I'm one of the good guys .



Posted by: at June 28, 2013 03:49 PM (qQk+U)

PICK.A.FUCKING.NAME.ASS.

Posted by: weft cut-loop at June 28, 2013 03:51 PM (XS/b3)

195 Apparently you were a good girl and an even better woman.

***

*blush*

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at June 28, 2013 03:51 PM (jjvz+)

196 I found the weird South Korean portion of YouTube, again.

http://youtu.be/qavUWuQt05s

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at June 28, 2013 03:51 PM (dV6An)

197 The left will explain the acquittal as payback for the OJ verdict.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at June 28, 2013 03:51 PM (+98Gb)

198 Lame buffalo, snarlin' wolf.


Posted by: WalrusRex at June 28, 2013 03:50 PM (XUKZU)


Dam... and here I thought those were Yoga moves...

Posted by: Romeo13 at June 28, 2013 03:52 PM (lZBBB)

199 #189....Guess I must have been a natural born vagina finder...

Posted by: MoeRon at June 28, 2013 03:52 PM (J74ez)

200 Will it pocket call for me in the middle of a murder?

Posted by: © Sponge at June 28, 2013 03:52 PM (xmcEQ)

201 Can we get a Piers Morgan themed one?

Posted by: platija de asalto now using BING and duckduckgo instead of google at June 28, 2013 03:52 PM (Kkt/i)

202 This is clearly an app designed for men, pretending to be an app for women.

Posted by: caustic at June 28, 2013 03:52 PM (/b8+5)

203 Looks like OCP built our TB3K.

Posted by: Waterhouse at June 28, 2013 03:52 PM (Kppp9)

204 181

Someone is posting and getting auto deleted.

I'm not sure why.

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) at June 28, 2013 03:49 PM (/PCJa)

Could it be the work of the same guys who killed JFK, staged the 9/11 terrorist attacks, and made "The Big Bang Theory" the biggest show on TV?

Posted by: Slappy at June 28, 2013 03:52 PM (LTbLf)

205 What the fucking fuck?LE is out of control.


http://tinyurl.com/pamqa3g

Posted by: steevy at June 28, 2013 03:52 PM (9XBK2)

206 Wha? Women can touch their cooch?

Ha.. well, let 'em.. cuz I'm still not gonna tell em where their g-spot is hidden! Muahahahahhaa

Posted by: Chi-Town Jerry at June 28, 2013 03:52 PM (f9c2L)

207 >>>> snicking their snootch feels good?

Ace, now you're just making up dirty words, arent you? I've never heard that one. Cooch + snatch = snootch?

Posted by: L, elle at June 28, 2013 03:53 PM (0PiQ4)

208 I found the weird South Korean portion of YouTube, again.


Too much trouble, dude. Let her go.

Posted by: EC at June 28, 2013 03:53 PM (GQ8sn)

209 I'll tell you one thing. I could've used an app to find a girl's vagina the first time I had sex in my teen years. It felt like an eternity before I could...you know...navigate the territory. It seemed so much easier for guys in the movies. All that time watching Cinemax and porn during my teen years was of little help to me.
Posted by: Slappy at June 28, 2013 03:50 PM (LTbLf)

I remember the first time I found it, my exact words were EEEEW, IT'S WET.

Years later I met that same girl and we had few laughs. Apparently it was her first time too and she said "I was just as surprised yours was dry."

Posted by: Oldsailors Poet Palin/Bolton 2016 at June 28, 2013 03:53 PM (XIxXP)

210
Archeologists will learn that in the 21st century about two to three
thousand people, most of whom unelected, brought down the mighty nation
with the government that was supposed be of the people, by the people,
and for the people.

Posted by: soothsayer at June 28, 2013 03:53 PM (LPRBM)

211 189 I'll tell you one thing. I could've used an app to find a girl's vagina the first time I had sex in my teen years. It felt like an eternity before I could...you know...navigate the territory. It seemed so much easier for guys in the movies. All that time watching Cinemax and porn during my teen years was of little help to me.
Posted by: Slappy at June 28, 2013 03:50 PM (LTbLf)



I knew a kid whose first experience was, shall we say, the wrong exhaust port on the Death Star (though a "star" is what he found).

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at June 28, 2013 03:53 PM (+98Gb)

212 Speaking of Jeantel, did you hear Beck's reading of her tweets? I LMAO.
Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at June 28, 2013 03:45 PM (jjvz+)


-----------------------------------------


That was a good segment. Beck hasn't been that funny in a long time. It's a shame too. When he first went national, he had one of the funniest shows on the radio.

Posted by: Soona at June 28, 2013 03:53 PM (s0z2y)

213 Damnit ace.....Now I have a craving to eat pussy.

Posted by: © Sponge at June 28, 2013 03:53 PM (xmcEQ)

214 It's masturbatory, but intellectually.

We've got plenty of these people who desperately want to be doing something meaningful, so they convince themselves that the most useless things are the most meaningful, that the most transgressive things are the most vital to society, so you get idiocy like vagina-centricity and 'orgasm empowerment' as pseudo-intellectual pursuits.

Defining me by my genitals is sexist and heteronormative!

Defining myself by my genitals is empowering!

Posted by: zsasz at June 28, 2013 03:53 PM (MMC8r)

215 189 Posted by: Slappy at June 28, 2013 03:50 PM (LTbLf)

Which reminds me of a riddle:

Q) What are the 3 best things about anal sex?

A) Location, location, location.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at June 28, 2013 03:54 PM (+98Gb)

216 Excelsior !

Posted by: Blacksheep at June 28, 2013 03:54 PM (8/DeP)

217 Wha? Women can touch their cooch?


Touch it? More like rubbing it like they are trying to start a camp fire.

Posted by: Oldsailors Poet Palin/Bolton 2016 at June 28, 2013 03:55 PM (XIxXP)

218 202 This is clearly an app designed for men, pretending to be an app for women.


Posted by: caustic at June 28, 2013 03:52 PM (/b8+5)


Yes... because I'm SURE that the Manly Hello Kitty Motif, really appeals to HeteroSexual Men (the ones who would need it).

/facepalm...

But I'm sure you like it.....

Posted by: Romeo13 at June 28, 2013 03:55 PM (lZBBB)

219 #213

Dog can be good if cooked right, but we draw the line at cat.

Usually.

Posted by: Korea at June 28, 2013 03:55 PM (El+h4)

220 I hope the app has a teeth warning.

Posted by: eman at June 28, 2013 03:55 PM (AO9UG)

221 196 I found the weird South Korean portion of YouTube, again.

http://youtu.be/qavUWuQt05s

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at June 28, 2013 03:51 PM (dV6An)


It used to take me five or so clicks to get to the weird part of Youtube. Now it's two or three. What happened?

Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at June 28, 2013 03:55 PM (V1ZIU)

222 Is it just me or has the country's collective IQ dropped about 40 points in ten years?

Posted by: backhoe at June 28, 2013 03:55 PM (ULH4o)

223 And yet somehow, without any teaching from my parents, my friends, books, my teachers or a stupid-ass app, I figured out how to masturbate all by myself. I must be a fucking genius!

Posted by: DangerGirl (screw you NSA) at June 28, 2013 03:55 PM (GrtrJ)

224 Far better courtroom decorum than we are seeing in the Zimmerman trial.

http://youtu.be/ph7oZnBH05s

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at June 28, 2013 03:55 PM (dV6An)

225 Here's the linky to Beck reading Jeantel's tweets and stuff:

http://tinyurl.com/qhtnrca

Posted by: Jane D'oh at June 28, 2013 03:55 PM (lVPtV)

226 Found it, Jane.

It might take a moment for the vids to load.

http://bit.ly/19yBxJk

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at June 28, 2013 03:55 PM (jjvz+)

227 Just found out GPS stands for Girl Poon Search. Whatever that means.

Posted by: Dang, all out of breath from a quick trip to the local library at June 28, 2013 03:56 PM (Hx2XA)

228 Sweet Jesus. On the other side of the spectrum, we have Burt and Ernie examining sockpuppet fisting rituals for the young and old.

Posted by: Fritz at June 28, 2013 03:56 PM (G9Mmf)

229 222 Is it just me or has the country's collective IQ dropped about 40 points in ten years?
Posted by: backhoe at June 28, 2013 03:55 PM (ULH4o)


More like 222+ posts...

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at June 28, 2013 03:56 PM (+98Gb)

230 What the fucking fuck?LE is out of control.


Alcohol enforcement officers are the rejects of the other depts.

Posted by: EC at June 28, 2013 03:56 PM (GQ8sn)

231 Could it be the work of the same guys who killed JFK, staged the 9/11
terrorist attacks, and made "The Big Bang Theory" the biggest show on
TV?


Seriously? We're busy. We don't have time to dig through Minx code.

Posted by: The conspiracy at June 28, 2013 03:57 PM (4WhSY)

232 All this bawdy talk.


Make sure you morons get to Mass on Sunday.


http://tinyurl.com/o9w37hk

(SFW)

Posted by: RWC at June 28, 2013 03:57 PM (fWAjv)

233 Dack, the Skynet portion of YouTube is learning your habits.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at June 28, 2013 03:57 PM (dV6An)

234 I'll bet Beck is channeling Steve Martin reciting the lyrics to "Be Bop A Lu La."

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at June 28, 2013 03:57 PM (+98Gb)

235 MSNBC's queen retard (sir) states that Paula Deen's racism was due to the racism inherent in the food industrial complex, as exemplified by Popeye's and Aunt Jemima.

Posted by: wooga at June 28, 2013 03:57 PM (g/6Rf)

236
Does it explain why cervixes look like penises?

Posted by: Waldo at June 28, 2013 03:57 PM (RZwdH)

237 I think I see it... it's the Doomsday Machine!!!

Posted by: Sandra Fluke at June 28, 2013 03:57 PM (wAQA5)

238 Make sure you morons get to Mass on Sunday.


http://tinyurl.com/o9w37hk

(SFW)

Posted by: RWC at June 28, 2013 03:57 PM (fWAjv)



Holy crap, are they going vampire/werewolf hunting?


And is that the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch??!?

Posted by: EC at June 28, 2013 03:57 PM (GQ8sn)

239 163
154

Speaking of Jeantel, did you hear Beck's reading of her tweets?


I LMAO.


Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at June 28, 2013 03:45 PM (jjvz+)

Damn. I wonder if it's posted somewhere. Posted by: Jane D'oh at June 28, 2013 03:46 PM (lVPtV)

http://tinyurl.com/qhtnrca

Posted by: platija de asalto now using BING and duckduckgo instead of google at June 28, 2013 03:58 PM (Kkt/i)

240 You know, I was going to continue with the alter ego but I just looked out the window and, hand to God, there was a squirrel out there who looked for all the world like it was trying to auto-fellate.


Yeah.


I'm just giving up on today entirely at this point.


I will say, one of the nice things about being embussened is that at least I have a ton of breathing room under here.

Posted by: alexthechick - Commence drinking now. at June 28, 2013 03:58 PM (VtjlW)

241 Oops!

You beat me to it.

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at June 28, 2013 03:58 PM (jjvz+)

242 I'm listening to glen now, Thanks Jane and NDH.

Posted by: Oldsailors Poet Palin/Bolton 2016 at June 28, 2013 03:58 PM (XIxXP)

243 I'll tell you one thing. I could've used an app to find a girl's vagina the first time I had sex in my teen years. It felt like an eternity before I could...you know...navigate the territory. It seemed so much easier for guys in the movies. All that time watching Cinemax and porn during my teen years was of little help to me. Posted by: Slappy at June 28, 2013 03:50 PM (LTbLf)


----------------------------------------------------


It was that way my first time too. But after that, it was like letting loose a heat-seeking, radar-guided missile.

Posted by: Soona at June 28, 2013 03:59 PM (s0z2y)

244 Has anyone done a "In Soviet Russia, vagina finds you" joke?

Posted by: Dr Spank at June 28, 2013 03:59 PM (v1mq9)

245 Our exalted robed ones are feeling emboldened now, Federal Judge blocks MI ban on domestic partner benefits. Kind of a crazy law but it was passed in 2011...why you take so long judge?

Posted by: Red Shirt at June 28, 2013 03:59 PM (FIDMq)

246 Only honest person on HLN being honest about testimony is Black Lawyer w/New York accent...

Says "gosh it looks like objectively Zimmerman was on the ground..."

Posted by: sven10077 at June 28, 2013 03:59 PM (gVJRT)

247 The State puts another witness on to discuss Z's injuries. This afternoon has seemed a bit counterproductive for the Prosecution.

Posted by: YouTube at June 28, 2013 03:59 PM (codCi)

248 MSNBC's queen retard (sir) states that Paula Deen's racism was due to the racism inherent in the food industrial complex, as exemplified by Popeye's and Aunt Jemima.


Funny, since Popeye's spokesperson is female & black.

Posted by: rickb223 at June 28, 2013 04:00 PM (ix+5k)

249 240 That was my TAIL.You have a dirty mind.

Posted by: Squirrel at June 28, 2013 04:00 PM (9XBK2)

250 The State puts another witness on to discuss Z's injuries. This afternoon has seemed a bit counterproductive for the Prosecution.

Which is different from the last two days... how?

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) at June 28, 2013 04:00 PM (/PCJa)

251 I'm watching the Zimmerman trial on and off and I'm having a hard time figuring out which is the defense and which is the prosecution, the state's case is so weak and the "witnesses" so fubar

Posted by: Nevergiveup at June 28, 2013 04:00 PM (jE38p)

252 Can it see through the hedge?

Posted by: Big Mooch at June 28, 2013 04:01 PM (wAQA5)

253 speaking of NSFW, check out the image at gateway pundit

http://tinyurl.com/oe72m29

I wonder who pitches and who catches. We all know who'll pay for it, though

Posted by: Mallfly at June 28, 2013 04:01 PM (bJm7W)

254 Speaking of....

Has anyone seen recent photos of Lena Dunham? Gonna' need GPS for that. Maybe a couple of extra satellites to nail the location down to within 30 feet.

http://dailym.ai/10Z4quD

Posted by: Michael the Hobbit, but you can call me Michael at June 28, 2013 04:01 PM (vVMIQ)

255 Why would whether GZ's nose be broken have anything to do with whether he was on the group under Martin or not?

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at June 28, 2013 04:01 PM (Ur+CA)

256
Wimmenz are soooo fkn weird

I mean, whatever happened to looking at pron? Instead they gotta RTFM. If I knew technical BS got 'em all hot and bothered I'd have the wife putting together all the furniture and toys she keeps buying

Posted by: Bigby's Gavel-Pounding Fist at June 28, 2013 04:01 PM (3ZtZW)

257 240 AlexTheChick,

Sometimes fate is trying to tell you "ah fuck it" ma'am....

Have a good weekend

Posted by: sven10077 at June 28, 2013 04:01 PM (gVJRT)

258
248 -

We don't have any Popeye's in "my" part of town. I love Popeye's.

Posted by: BurtTC at June 28, 2013 04:02 PM (TOk1P)

259 There's a social stigma to masturbation?


What the...?


Is this 1982 or some shit?

Posted by: Burn the Witch at June 28, 2013 04:02 PM (QLNHI)

260 254 Michael the Hobbit,

God bless your courage if not sense.

Posted by: sven10077 at June 28, 2013 04:02 PM (gVJRT)

261 209

I remember the first time I found it, my exact words were EEEEW, IT'S WET.

Years later I met that same girl and we had few laughs. Apparently it was her first time too and she said "I was just as surprised yours was dry."

Posted by: Oldsailors Poet Palin/Bolton 2016 at June 28, 2013 03:53 PM (XIxXP)

Within seconds of that first moment when you finally gain "entry," you then know why it's such a big deal. "Oh, NOW I know why guys are always trying to get girls to do this."

Posted by: Slappy at June 28, 2013 04:03 PM (LTbLf)

262 Meant "on the ground"

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at June 28, 2013 04:03 PM (Ur+CA)

263 Go ahead and laugh you h8rz!

I could use one of these, I haven't seen mine in years! Come to think of it, I'm not sure my feet are where they were last time I saw them

Posted by: Meghan McCain at June 28, 2013 04:03 PM (/9IC1)

264 211

I knew a kid whose first experience was, shall we say, the wrong exhaust port on the Death Star (though a "star" is what he found).

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at June 28, 2013 03:53 PM (+98Gb)

The girl must have appreciated that. "Hey, dumbass, that's an exit-only area."

Posted by: Slappy at June 28, 2013 04:03 PM (LTbLf)

265 We don't have any Popeye's in "my" part of town. I love Popeye's.
Posted by: BurtTC at June 28, 2013 04:02 PM (TOk1P)


They used to have gizzards and livers. Not anymore. I love gizzards and livers.

Posted by: Oldsailors Poet Palin/Bolton 2016 at June 28, 2013 04:03 PM (XIxXP)

266
RSM missed the best stupid response to this app which was from Kotaku, who we're angry that the app assumed "all women had vaginas"
Stupid post modern crap.

Posted by: tsrblke (tablet) at June 28, 2013 04:04 PM (GaqMa)

267 Popeye's is RAAACIST? Who knew. Ours has a 100% black crew. And the food is wonderful.

Posted by: backhoe at June 28, 2013 04:04 PM (ULH4o)

268 Ah, prosecution is trying to get Z's complete med history into the record. Must be something in it they think they can use.

Posted by: toby928© for TB at June 28, 2013 04:04 PM (codCi)

269 I knew a kid whose first experience was, shall we say, the wrong exhaust port on the Death Star (though a "star" is what he found).

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at June 28, 2013 03:53 PM (+98Gb)

The girl must have appreciated that. "Hey, dumbass, that's an exit-only area."


Like shooting whomp rats.

Posted by: rickb223 at June 28, 2013 04:05 PM (ix+5k)

270 243

It was that way my first time too. But after that, it was like letting loose a heat-seeking, radar-guided missile.

Posted by: Soona at June 28, 2013 03:59 PM (s0z2y)

Exactly. It's like your johnson had GPS installed immediately after the first time.

Posted by: Slappy at June 28, 2013 04:05 PM (LTbLf)

271 Oh, mothereffer!


Geraldo Rivera ‏@GeraldoRivera 1h
Rachel Jeantel was a sincere credible witness to me but probably not so much to the five white ladies on Zimmerman jury Hope she fares

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at June 28, 2013 04:05 PM (jjvz+)

272 I knew a kid whose first experience was, shall we say, the wrong exhaust port on the Death Star (though a "star" is what he found).

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at June 28, 2013 03:53 PM (+98Gb)

The girl must have appreciated that. "Hey, dumbass, that's an exit-only area."


Like shooting whomp rats.

Posted by: rickb223 at June 28, 2013 04:05 PM (ix+5k)



That exhaust port was two meters wide.


Posted by: EC at June 28, 2013 04:05 PM (GQ8sn)

273 RSM missed the best stupid response to this app which was from Kotaku, who we're angry that the app assumed "all women had vaginas"

Wait... what?

Ah, prosecution is trying to get Z's complete med history into the record. Must be something in it they think they can use.

How on earth could his medical history be relevant?

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) at June 28, 2013 04:05 PM (/PCJa)

274 Bottled-water purchase leads to night in jail for UVa student
http://tinyurl.com/ofadrda

Posted by: caustic at June 28, 2013 04:06 PM (/b8+5)

275 Thank God were on livers and gizzzards and off of teen sex tales.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at June 28, 2013 04:06 PM (Ur+CA)

276 I for one would love one of these. It was a pain in the ass having the maid vacuum all that flour from the carpets all the time


Posted by: Meghan McCain at June 28, 2013 04:06 PM (/9IC1)

277 Those three pictures are like the three levels of orgasm.

From the "hey that was great" to the "oh God" to the "holy shit my brain just exploded".

Posted by: eleven at June 28, 2013 04:06 PM (fsLdt)

278 How on earth could his medical history be relevant?

Maybe he was on tranquilizers or something. Maybe depressed.

Posted by: toby928© for TB at June 28, 2013 04:06 PM (codCi)

279 266 TSRBike,

Yup SFOD/SMOD 2016, because fuck the herd needs culled.

Posted by: sven10077 at June 28, 2013 04:06 PM (gVJRT)

280 ZZ Top - Sharp Dressed Man
http://youtu.be/ZvBJLZPB7M8

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at June 28, 2013 04:06 PM (dV6An)

281 Ah, prosecution is trying to get Z's complete med history into the record. Must be something in it they think they can use.


Let's see Traytables' drug usage report.

Posted by: rickb223 at June 28, 2013 04:06 PM (ix+5k)

282 Geraldo Rivera ‏@GeraldoRivera 1h
Rachel Jeantel was a sincere credible witness to me but probably not so much to the five white ladies on Zimmerman jury Hope she fares


OH! FFS.

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) at June 28, 2013 04:06 PM (/PCJa)

283 Posted by: RWC at June 28, 2013 03:57 PM (fWAjv)

Hmmm... so if Pigs blood on a bullet makes the Moslem not go to Paradise... how about Holy Water?

But then... I've got a sword that has been blessed by a Shinto, Buddhist, and Catholic, Priests... (kids called it 'Daddy's Monster Killin Sword)...

Posted by: Romeo13 at June 28, 2013 04:07 PM (lZBBB)

284 Geraldo needs a serious ass-stomping.

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at June 28, 2013 04:07 PM (jjvz+)

285
The girl must have appreciated that. "Hey, dumbass, that's an exit-only area."

Posted by: Slappy at June 28, 2013 04:03 PM (LTbLf)









Who had their first sexual experience with Led Zeppelin's album "In Through The Out Door" as the soundtrack?

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at June 28, 2013 04:07 PM (TIIx5)

286 RSM missed the best stupid response to this app which was from Kotaku,
who we're angry that the app assumed "all women had vaginas"


O_O

Posted by: HeatherRadish™ needs a beer at June 28, 2013 04:07 PM (/kI1Q)

287 It's true we are not paying for this app.We ARE paying for one to locate the clitoris for muslim women.

Posted by: US Government at June 28, 2013 04:07 PM (9XBK2)

288 285 Who had their first sexual experience with Led Zeppelin's album "In Through The Out Door" as the soundtrack?
Posted by: IllTemperedCur at June 28, 2013 04:07 PM (TIIx5)


Barney Frank.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at June 28, 2013 04:07 PM (+98Gb)

289 I knew a kid whose first experience was, shall we
say, the wrong exhaust port on the Death Star (though a "star" is what
he found).





Posted by: J.J. Sefton at June 28, 2013 03:53 PM (+98Gb)

Red Nine: "It's a hit!"
Red Leader: "Negative. Negative! It didn't go in. It just impacted on the surface."

Posted by: platija de asalto now using BING and duckduckgo instead of google at June 28, 2013 04:07 PM (Kkt/i)

290 OH! FFS.
Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) at June 28, 2013 04:06 PM (/PCJa)


With every news report they are sparking the riots to come.

Posted by: Oldsailors Poet Palin/Bolton 2016 at June 28, 2013 04:08 PM (XIxXP)

291 The medical records are only relevant to defame his character. However, I think given the State's competency, it will turn out to be nothing.

Posted by: Korea at June 28, 2013 04:08 PM (El+h4)

292 I have a key dish so nothing gets lost.

Posted by: sarahw at June 28, 2013 04:08 PM (LYwCh)

293 And that is why I wouldn't go to a doctor for brain meds even if I thought I needed them.

Posted by: toby928© for TB at June 28, 2013 04:08 PM (codCi)

294 Maybe he was on tranquilizers or something. Maybe depressed.

Which would prove what, exactly?

I'm serious here: how would his medical history be relevant? Even if he was on tranquilizers, or depression meds, or whatever- none of that changes the facts that the Prosecution themselves have entered into evidence.

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) at June 28, 2013 04:08 PM (/PCJa)

295 In through the out door.

Oooooh...thaaat's what that means.

Posted by: eleven at June 28, 2013 04:09 PM (fsLdt)

296 Maybe he was on tranquilizers or something. Maybe depressed.

***

The lesson there is, you never know who exactly you are about to back against a wall, so don't.

It's like those kids who broke into the crazy person's house and entered into a horror movie.

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at June 28, 2013 04:09 PM (jjvz+)

297 Off darn sock....!

Flood warnings here.

Dear Texans: Will gladly build a tesseract to your location; will send extra water, please send tesseract plans, over.

Posted by: RiverC, White Chocolate Emancipator at June 28, 2013 04:09 PM (El+h4)

298 How on earth could his medical history be relevant?

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) at June 28, 2013 04:05 PM



PTSD, depression...anything they can use to indicate mental instability? Maybe talk about his weight and use that to infer that he should have been able to overpower Tarpon?

Posted by: DangerGirl (screw you NSA) at June 28, 2013 04:09 PM (GrtrJ)

299 Heather, obviously Kotaku thinks the lesbians in men's bodies are vagina challenged ... so...

SMOD stat!

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at June 28, 2013 04:09 PM (dV6An)

300 I'm serious here: how would his medical history be relevant? Even if he was on tranquilizers, or depression meds, or whatever- none of that changes the facts that the Prosecution themselves have entered into evidence.


They've exhausted all their good evidence and are now digging through their "Plan C" pile.

Posted by: EC at June 28, 2013 04:09 PM (GQ8sn)

301
275 -

Talkin' about what now???

I was thinking about chicken until YOU changed the subject!

Posted by: BurtTC at June 28, 2013 04:10 PM (TOk1P)

302 234 I'll bet Beck is channeling Steve Martin reciting the lyrics to "Be Bop A Lu La."

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at June 28, 2013 03:57 PM (+98Gb)


I meant of course Steve ALLEN!!!!

Sheesh.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at June 28, 2013 04:10 PM (+98Gb)

303 JJ Sefton though Glen Beck with an arror through his head might be funneh.... just a wild and crazy guy!

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at June 28, 2013 04:11 PM (dV6An)

304 Ah, prosecution is trying to get Z's complete med history into the record. Must be something in it they think they can use.
Posted by: toby928© for TB at June 28, 2013 04:04 PM (codCi)


----------------------------------------------------


Or not. I think what the prosecution might be doing right now is CYA, you know, when the black mob has the rope around their necks, they can say that they covered everything they could.

Posted by: Soona at June 28, 2013 04:11 PM (s0z2y)

305 I'm assuming that if there is anything in there to help the prosecution, this judge will let it in.

Posted by: toby928© for TB at June 28, 2013 04:11 PM (codCi)

306 242
I'm listening to glen now, Thanks Jane and NDH.

Posted by: Oldsailors Poet Palin/Bolton 2016 at June 28, 2013 03:58 PM (XIxXP)



I'm still wiping tears from laughing so hard.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at June 28, 2013 04:12 PM (lVPtV)

307 278 Toby928th,

Possibly I think they are in a passive aggressive and self-defeating way trying to argue Zimmerman's head trauma was negligible.

You know my story with the frozen turkey breast and the sgt telling me to skip being a cop?
Yeah he said that b/c I admitted I hit the guy maybe 1/ dozen times.

He said Police Epartments consider head shots to be potentially lethal force.

Only saving grace for me was my contract and the fact I was interdicting an armed man(he had a knife he never drew) assaulting another person.

Moral is the prosecution's angle on this is likely horseshit.

Wife's ready so I'm skipping the rest she's in a good mood.

Posted by: sven10077 at June 28, 2013 04:12 PM (gVJRT)

308 305 I'm assuming that if there is anything in there to help the prosecution, this judge will let it in.
Posted by: toby928© for TB at June 28, 2013 04:11 PM (codCi)


Who the fuck is this judge, Candy Crowley?

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at June 28, 2013 04:12 PM (+98Gb)

309 At first I was puzzled about how the conversation turned to fried chicken but then I saw the highly-stylized Hello Kitty cutesy-cartoon representations of a vagina, and suddenly I'm craving some extra hot and greasy.

Posted by: Fritz at June 28, 2013 04:13 PM (G9Mmf)

310 Yo, while my vajayjay may hurt...it's never been lost.

Posted by: sTevo at June 28, 2013 04:13 PM (OcVOw)

311 O'Mara should make a beer30 motion. It's Friday.

Posted by: toby928© for TB at June 28, 2013 04:13 PM (codCi)

312 All I know is, THANK GOD the networks have the Zim trial on a 10 second delay. We would hate to have the kiddies find out blacks are racists, and that they cuss often.

Posted by: Fact Guy at June 28, 2013 04:13 PM (r98SZ)

313 Have you guys seen this? It's very funny. Reminds you that while you are using your vagina app someone else is watching it with you.

http://tinyurl.com/qxhn8gm

Posted by: caustic at June 28, 2013 04:13 PM (/b8+5)

314 My new business card:

Dirk Diggler
Vagina Finder Will Travel
Experienced Cooch Detector at Your Service

I'll find your cooch
Wet or dry
If you can find your ya ya
Well, I'm the guy

Posted by: MoeRon at June 28, 2013 04:13 PM (J74ez)

315 Possibly I think they are in a passive aggressive and self-defeating way trying to argue Zimmerman's head trauma was negligible.

There's something in there, or the defense wouldn't be cockblocking it.

Posted by: toby928© for TB at June 28, 2013 04:14 PM (codCi)

316 Your daily reminder: Don't click on caustic's links.

You're welcome.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at June 28, 2013 04:14 PM (lVPtV)

317 Was this the 3am call Hillary was waiting for ?

Posted by: DrDrill at June 28, 2013 04:14 PM (sOFZs)

318 The only thing shocking about this story is that, apparently, US taxpayers are not, I repeat not, paying for it.



Only because of the GOP War on Women.

Posted by: Sandra Fluke at June 28, 2013 04:15 PM (7ObY1)

319 Geraldo Rivera ‏@GeraldoRivera 1h
Rachel Jeantel was a sincere credible witness to me but probably not so much to the five white ladies on Zimmerman jury Hope she fares

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at June 28, 2013 04:05 PM (jjvz+)


Innocent till proven, eh Gerry?

Posted by: © Sponge at June 28, 2013 04:15 PM (xmcEQ)

320 One woman I know is as dry as the friggin' Gobi desert in August.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at June 28, 2013 04:15 PM (+98Gb)

321 Gaylord Focker installs this app on his phone, "So that's what that looks like."

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at June 28, 2013 04:15 PM (dV6An)

322 Rosie O'Donnell's app requires GPS.

Posted by: zsasz at June 28, 2013 04:15 PM (MMC8r)

323 285

Who had their first sexual experience with Led Zeppelin's album "In Through The Out Door" as the soundtrack?

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at June 28, 2013 04:07 PM (TIIx5)

Although it wasn't playing during my first time, Deep Purple's "Knocking at Your Back Door" was a relatively new song with the lyrics, "So we put her on the hit list, Of a common cunning linguist, A master of many tongues." I won't even get into my first experience with the sexual act they're referencing. There really needs to be a map down there for the newcomers.

Posted by: Slappy at June 28, 2013 04:15 PM (LTbLf)

324 Sven, they're trying to get his PAST medical history admitted. Not the medical records relevant to his injuries from the incident but other medical history.

Posted by: DangerGirl (screw you NSA) at June 28, 2013 04:15 PM (GrtrJ)

325 Some vajayjay's just aren't meant to be found.

Posted by: Ganteal at June 28, 2013 04:15 PM (OcVOw)

326
313 -

Darling, wet your finger and put it in the.... air.

Feel that breeze? Today's crowd doesn't quite seem the right place for you to be dropping links. Tiny url'ed or not.

Posted by: BurtTC at June 28, 2013 04:16 PM (TOk1P)

327 Does it explain why cervixes look like penises?

Posted by: Waldo

That might be a tranny ya got there.

Posted by: Dang, all out of breath from a quick trip to the local library at June 28, 2013 04:16 PM (Hx2XA)

328 We would hate to have the kiddies find out blacks are racists, and that they cuss often.
Diversity is your salvation.

Posted by: Racial Genteel at June 28, 2013 04:16 PM (kVfSG)

329 316
Your daily reminder: Don't click on caustic's links.

You're welcome.


Posted by: Jane D'oh at June 28, 2013 04:14 PM (lVPtV)
Jane, I know you're a prude but I had no idea you were your anti gay too?
It's a link to hillbuzz,
"This is What Happens When the NSA Listens To Your Phone Calls"http://tinyurl.com/qxhn8gm

Posted by: caustic at June 28, 2013 04:16 PM (/b8+5)

330 seriously guys, is my stuff supposed to have a heart shaped mouth, I'm a little worried now /:

Posted by: spypeach at June 28, 2013 04:17 PM (0n1+D)

331 There's something in there, or the defense wouldn't be cockblocking it.

I don't know. I've heard some talk about how incompetent Z's lawyer has been, but he could just be keeping his powder dry (since he hasn't exactly needed it). That said, anything that you *can* challenge you *should* challenge. Never know when you missed something, or when something you thought was trivial could blow up in your face.

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) at June 28, 2013 04:17 PM (/PCJa)

332 324 IOW, fishing expedition.

Posted by: Bigby's Gavel-Pounding Fist at June 28, 2013 04:17 PM (3ZtZW)

333 315 Toby 92th,

Maybe. Could be they're gonna offer the argument telling your MD you're depressed is perjury about denying mental illness likely needed to get a CCW. That'll be. Fun can of worms b/c if a cop usew force on you do you get to go fishing or I this just for show trials?

Posted by: sven10077 at June 28, 2013 04:17 PM (gVJRT)

334 Never clicked on the troll's links.


What does she usually link to?

Posted by: Burn the Witch at June 28, 2013 04:18 PM (QLNHI)

335
The lesson there is, you never know who exactly you are about to back against a wall, so don't.

It's like those kids who broke into the crazy person's house and entered into a horror movie.
Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at June 28, 2013 04:09 PM (jjvz+)


You see it in cases where kids are throwing shit or snowballs at cars and a car comes back and shoots them.

Posted by: waldo at June 28, 2013 04:18 PM (RZwdH)

336 There really needs to be a map down there for the newcomers



Kind of like a spelunkerer's map?

Posted by: MoeRon at June 28, 2013 04:18 PM (J74ez)

337 Bigby, "You a better man than me Gunga Din to be fishing expedition with Rachel Jeantel."

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at June 28, 2013 04:18 PM (dV6An)

338 What does she usually link to?

Posted by: Burn the Witch at June 28, 2013 04:18 PM (QLNHI)



There was the famous ghey pron link, and she was all, "I didn't know!!111!!!" Even ace scolded her. She claimed it was one of her "friend's" fault.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at June 28, 2013 04:19 PM (lVPtV)

339 Possibly I think they are in a passive aggressive and self-defeating way trying to argue Zimmerman's head trauma was negligible.

***

Mark Furhman was arguing on, I think it was Hannity, that GZ's injuries are not consistent with persistent slamming against the pavement. He also argued that by GZ killing TM, he took all other options for resolution off the table.

I sat, listening, and dumbfounded.

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at June 28, 2013 04:19 PM (jjvz+)

340 #333

Yes, they do intend to advance the progressive agenda vis a vis 'anyone with slight mental problems should not have a gun'.

The ladies in the jury just might buy it... oh! This deranged man was allowed CC and killed that poor boy!

Still, I think the Defense is trying to block anything that can be blocked.

Posted by: RiverC, White Chocolate Emancipator at June 28, 2013 04:19 PM (El+h4)

341 The only man to ever find Rosie O'Donnell's is Arne Saknussemm.

Posted by: zsasz at June 28, 2013 04:19 PM (MMC8r)

342 Gotcha


Oh look, she appears to be a gay-baiting little bitch to boot.

Posted by: Burn the Witch at June 28, 2013 04:20 PM (QLNHI)

343 324 Dager Girl,

Oh for fuck's sakes that's fucking worse.

Add in Ogabecare.

This is confirming some of my worst fears on judicial misuse of private medical data's potential.

Posted by: sven10077 at June 28, 2013 04:20 PM (gVJRT)

344 NDH, Furhman sold his soul and conscience long ago to get paid on air time.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at June 28, 2013 04:20 PM (dV6An)

345 I don't know. I've heard some talk about how incompetent Z's lawyer has been, but he could just be keeping his powder dry (since he hasn't exactly needed it). That said, anything that you *can* challenge you *should* challenge. Never know when you missed something, or when something you thought was trivial could blow up in your face.

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) at June 28, 2013 04:17 PM (/PCJa)


I don't where the Z's lawyer is incompetent is coming from. Except for that stupid opening joke, I haven't seen incompetence. Now the State, boy howdy!

Posted by: Tami at June 28, 2013 04:20 PM (X6akg)

346 Oh look, she appears to be a gay-baiting little bitch to boot.

Just trying to get a laugh for her friends that she does so too have.

Posted by: toby928© for TB at June 28, 2013 04:21 PM (codCi)

347 There's a randy pussy in my back yard.

Posted by: model_1066 at June 28, 2013 04:21 PM (tSYHH)

348 335

You see it in cases where kids are throwing shit or snowballs at cars and a car comes back and shoots them.

Posted by: waldo at June 28, 2013 04:18 PM (RZwdH)

It's why my bravado and stupidity of my younger years, especially regarding road rage, has turned into a sober reaction to all confrontations, real or imagined. You have no idea what the other person is capable of. Even if you're carrying, I really would prefer that I didn't have to kill someone in self-defense. I'd do it if I absolutely had no other choice, but why help create a situation in which it's the only option?

Posted by: Slappy at June 28, 2013 04:21 PM (LTbLf)

349 Toby, those friends are all located in a mental attic.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at June 28, 2013 04:21 PM (dV6An)

350 OK, which Moron posted this reply on Craigslist?

http://tinyurl.com/owvwfph

Posted by: Country Singer at June 28, 2013 04:21 PM (U22Yw)

351 Talking head on HLN says prosecutor should be fired, did not properly prepare Rachel Jantel....

Let the recriminations begin!

Posted by: MoeRon at June 28, 2013 04:21 PM (J74ez)

352 NDH, Furhman sold his soul and conscience long ago to get paid on air time.

***

I'm still trying to imagine just what "other options" GZ had for resolving the situation.

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at June 28, 2013 04:22 PM (jjvz+)

353
For all you ladies with itchy or painful cooter's, visit my website at healitforjesus dot com and buy a large bottle of Auntie Flo's Poon Juice. Gently rub it on three times a day with a maximum of three touches to avoid the big bang problem.

Posted by: Aunt Flo, Cut and Shoot, Texas at June 28, 2013 04:22 PM (uPdH6)

354
339 -

Mark Furhman is just another media expert now. It's about selling tickets, not about telling the truth about how one-sided the game is really going.

Posted by: BurtTC at June 28, 2013 04:22 PM (TOk1P)

355 "Meet Happy. Your Friendly, Neighborhood Vagina."

****

There one of those down the street from me.

Posted by: Dept. of Acuracy at June 28, 2013 04:22 PM (VWfCN)

356 Uhm Country Singer is there something you need to tell the Horde???

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at June 28, 2013 04:22 PM (dV6An)

357 I'm still trying to imagine just what "other options" GZ had for resolving the situation.

He should have faked his own death.

Posted by: O'Possum at June 28, 2013 04:23 PM (codCi)

358 339 NDH,

Well a couple of things.

1) LAPD doctrine on force is actually very conservative in theory.

2) it Fuhrman...rehabilitating his image is worth a lot

Posted by: sven10077 at June 28, 2013 04:23 PM (gVJRT)

359 351 Talking head on HLN says prosecutor should be fired, did not properly prepare Rachel Jantel....

Let the recriminations begin!

Posted by: MoeRon at June 28, 2013 04:21 PM (J74ez)


Well, in fairness to the prosecutor....how the F can you prepare her?! Her IQ is pretty limited to poorly spelled txt msgs.

Posted by: Tami at June 28, 2013 04:23 PM (X6akg)

360
@AllenG,

Like I said post modern drivel. When one of the Penny Arcade guys made a joke, the LBGTQDERWhatever army beat him into submission until he apologized.
It's a shame because he made some good points about how stupid it is.

Posted by: tsrblke (tablet) at June 28, 2013 04:24 PM (GaqMa)

361
Two insults from my own personal youth:

You couldn't find your a-hole with both hands.

and

You don't know your a-hole from your elbow.

So this app is an insult to women, really.

Posted by: soothsayer at June 28, 2013 04:24 PM (052zE)

362 339

Mark Furhman was arguing on, I think it was Hannity, that GZ's injuries are not consistent with persistent slamming against the pavement. He also argued that by GZ killing TM, he took all other options for resolution off the table.

I sat, listening, and dumbfounded.

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at June 28, 2013 04:19 PM (jjvz+)

I think we all know why Mark Fuhrman is taking that point of view. He's desperately trying to shed his image as not only a racist but as someone who helped get a murderer acquitted because of his idiocy.

Posted by: Slappy at June 28, 2013 04:24 PM (LTbLf)

363 Anna, not that I'm aware of...a buddy of mine posted the link on FB; it sounded like a Moron wrote it. Thought I'd inquire, or at least link it here for everyone's amusement.

Posted by: Country Singer at June 28, 2013 04:25 PM (U22Yw)

364 Bottled-water purchase leads to night in jail for UVa student

o_O

Seriously. WTF?!?

Posted by: Purp at June 28, 2013 04:25 PM (cYfp6)

365 Remember the Bugs Bunny cartoon where Bugs thinks he is Elmer and Elmer in a bunny suit yells "Play Dead!" So the bear wrinkles his nose and buries Bugs.

I think that is the only option left? Not viable at all. Since many thugs like to celebrate their victory by further mutilating or abusing the body. Ambassador Stevens would testify to this except he is really dead.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at June 28, 2013 04:25 PM (dV6An)

366 Just watched the parakeet balancing on its tennis ball vid in the sidebar.

Heh. I used to own parakeets when I was young. That bird is masturbating on that ball.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at June 28, 2013 04:25 PM (lVPtV)

367 I'm still trying to imagine just what "other options" GZ had for resolving the situation.

A big check to Al Sharpton.

Posted by: zsasz at June 28, 2013 04:25 PM (MMC8r)

368 #359: Agree completely, but nobody will ever say the prosecution was brought solely to jack up minority voter rolls, so when it goes down in flames, gotta blame somebody....

Posted by: MoeRon at June 28, 2013 04:25 PM (J74ez)

369 Gently rub it on three times a day with a maximum of three touches to avoid the big bang problem.


Posted by: Aunt Flo, Cut and Shoot, Texas
-------------

Which reminds me...., you need new batteries.

Posted by: Auntie Flo's Cooter at June 28, 2013 04:25 PM (aDwsi)

370 If Mr. Zimmerman wasn't on psychiatric medication, he would have been thinking a bit more clearly while his head was getting bashed in.

Posted by: Dewey, Scruam, and Howe, LLP at June 28, 2013 04:25 PM (QLNHI)

371
This is confirming some of my worst fears on judicial misuse of private medical data's potential.

Posted by: sven10077 at June 28, 2013 04:20 PM (gVJRT



Sven, I don't know for sure, I'm just guessing at this point. But the way the State has acted in this case, I wouldn't put it past them to try and weasel something out of his med hx.

Zimmerman's attorney was mentioning something about the Prosecution wanting in the record something starting with Zimmerman starting to exercise, but that's when the judge cut off the mics and called everyone to the bench for consultation.

Posted by: DangerGirl (screw you NSA) at June 28, 2013 04:26 PM (GrtrJ)

372 OK, which Moron posted this reply on Craigslist?

***

It's not a Presidential administration!

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at June 28, 2013 04:26 PM (jjvz+)

373 I for one would like to extend a hale and hardy welcoming to our new Labial overloards.

Posted by: dananjcon at June 28, 2013 04:26 PM (jvd3N)

374 2) it Fuhrman...rehabilitating his image is worth a lot

***

It's been 20 years. He needs to get the hell over it.

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at June 28, 2013 04:27 PM (jjvz+)

375 seriously guys, is my stuff supposed to have a heart shaped mouth, I'm a little worried now

So you're saying it's not heart shaped?

Hmmmmmm

Troubling. Very troubling indeed.

Posted by: Sean Bannion at June 28, 2013 04:27 PM (SbyHh)

376
I'm still trying to imagine just what "other options" GZ had for resolving the situation.



He shoulda let Traytron kill him, cracka.

Posted by: DangerGirl (screw you NSA) at June 28, 2013 04:27 PM (GrtrJ)

377
366 -

Ours had a favorite saltshaker. He didn't need an app to find it.

And no, we didn't use the saltshaker for salting.

Posted by: BurtTC at June 28, 2013 04:27 PM (TOk1P)

378 Modern feminism: weak-willed, hysterical, stupid, developmentally stunted women that think all women are that way, and it isn't their fault, and SOMETHING MUST BE DONE no matter how inane, odd, or stultifying.
Posted by: shillelagh at June 28, 2013 03:41 PM (hRzu2)



Ohhhh Washington Nearsider? Please to be sharing the relevant link of my response to modern feminism. There's a luv.

Posted by: alexthechick - Commence drinking now. at June 28, 2013 04:28 PM (VtjlW)

379 Hmmmmmm

Troubling. Very troubling indeed.
Posted by: Sean Bannion at June 28, 2013 04:27 PM (SbyHh)

I know right, explains soooo much.

Posted by: spypeach at June 28, 2013 04:29 PM (0n1+D)

380 Admissibility of GZ's medical records should have been determined before trial, unless prosecution is claiming that something defense did "opened the door" to additional information contained in those records.

Posted by: MoeRon at June 28, 2013 04:29 PM (J74ez)

381 Ok, medical person is back. What was the ruling on Z's medical records? I had it on mute.



Oh and Purp.....changing from 32 to 16 bit has helped tremendously on the heating problem.


Thanks for that!

Posted by: Tami at June 28, 2013 04:29 PM (X6akg)

382 Somewhereback up there Jesse James was linked to Kat von D but that is waaay old. Jesse and Alexis De Joria are supposed to get married.She is the Patron Tequila Funny Car driver and daughter of John Paul De Joria; founder of Paul Mitchell hair products, owner of Patron Tequila, etc. He and Jesse are neighbors and friends. My buddy Del was her mentor and crew chief last year. Now he is back racing the DHL car. Too much drama for Del.

Posted by: Mr. Dave at June 28, 2013 04:29 PM (9dbPd)

383 371 Danger Girl,

Ah I see GZ is a monster fr anything from roids to zoloft and St Trayvon's recreational pharmacy knowledg is taboo...?

SFOD/SMOD 2016

Posted by: sven10077 at June 28, 2013 04:29 PM (lCLwx)

384

Always good to have confirmation that you're doing it right...

Posted by: artisanal 'ette at June 28, 2013 04:30 PM (XYSwB)

385 I know right, explains soooo much.

There, there. It's OK.

I'm sure Mr Spypeach is willing to pay for the required vajazzling.

Posted by: Sean Bannion at June 28, 2013 04:30 PM (SbyHh)

386 Lets all take a moment to find our vaginas. Ladies if i can be of some assistance please don't hesitae to ask.


Oky-Doky!


Posted by: dananjcon at June 28, 2013 04:31 PM (jvd3N)

387 Oh btw, someone who is not me needs to let ace know that there is an actual Hello Kitty vibrator.

I've been blamed for enough already today.


(No, I don't own one. Or multiples of one, yes, I'm glaring at those you presume I am glaring at)

Posted by: alexthechick - Commence drinking now. at June 28, 2013 04:31 PM (VtjlW)

388
Kat von D can find her vagina without this app. It's wearing a giant plastic mouse head.
No, wait, it's gone now. Maybe she'll need this app after all.

Posted by: The Atom Bomb of Loving Kindness at June 28, 2013 04:31 PM (jqHOY)

389 Nature has an app. It's called Hello, I'm Bleeding!

Speaking of pussies that just can't stfu, here are my thoughts on Rubio's post-rape apology tour. Renounce your own bill while the House does its thing. You had to be there to negotiate with Dems. Now represent Republicans like you were elected to do. If you can't, then switch parties already. You and Christie can flip a coin to run with Hillary.

Posted by: Tattoo De Plane at June 28, 2013 04:31 PM (AVaK2)

390 374 NDH,

I agree but then I don't have the scarlet "r" nationally

Posted by: sven10077 at June 28, 2013 04:31 PM (lCLwx)

391 Bringing the jury back in. I have no idea on the medical hx ruling.

Posted by: DangerGirl (screw you NSA) at June 28, 2013 04:31 PM (GrtrJ)

392 I have a Hello Kitty vibrator.

Posted by: Tattoo De Plane at June 28, 2013 04:32 PM (AVaK2)

393 Oh hey Bannion is unbanned. Welcome back

Posted by: tsrblke (tablet) at June 28, 2013 04:32 PM (GaqMa)

394 Now now AlextheChick, you know Sanrio claims its really a back massager... really they pinky swear on St. Hello Kitty's little nubby self on the gizmo.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at June 28, 2013 04:33 PM (dV6An)

395 No, I don't own one. Or multiples of one

So you own one and a half? One and a third? Half of one?

What are you trying to say here?

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) at June 28, 2013 04:33 PM (/PCJa)

396 changing from 32 to 16 bit has helped tremendously on the heating problem.

32 bits per pixel is a lotta data to be sloshing around...

Posted by: Purp at June 28, 2013 04:33 PM (cYfp6)

397 Talking head on HLN says prosecutor should be fired, did not properly prepare Rachel Jantel.... Let the recriminations begin!
Posted by: MoeRon at June 28, 2013 04:21 PM (J74ez)


--------------------------------------------


They probably tried their best. Not much to work with there.

Posted by: Soona at June 28, 2013 04:33 PM (s0z2y)

398 (No, I don't own one. Or multiples of one, yes, I'm glaring at those you presume I am glaring at)

Ummmmm, Empress? I just got 10 pallet loads of Hello Kitty vibrators in. Should I send them back?

Seems a shame - and we'd still be on the hook for the shipping charges.

Posted by: Sean Bannion, Chief Logstics Directorate, The People's Benevolent Despotism of Alextopia at June 28, 2013 04:34 PM (SbyHh)

399 384

Always good to have confirmation that you're doing it right...

Posted by: artisanal 'ette at June 28, 2013 04:30 PM (XYSwB)

As long as you don't get the tap on the shoulder during your attempt, you still have time to get that confirmation. But the first time that you get the tap, it definitely leaves a mark on your psyche. These are the traumatic moments of your teen years that not enough people talk about.

Posted by: Slappy at June 28, 2013 04:34 PM (LTbLf)

400 Gracious me, I never read anything this vulgar at The Huffington Post. You people should be ashamed of yourselves.

Posted by: Mary Cloggenstein of Brattleboro Vermont at June 28, 2013 04:34 PM (xcRII)

401 They probably tried their best. Not much to work with there.

You and I know that's true.

Likelihood of it swaying the race-baiting crowd?

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) at June 28, 2013 04:34 PM (/PCJa)

402 aha, race = white on medical records, that's the important part.

Posted by: spypeach at June 28, 2013 04:34 PM (0n1+D)

403
also: You don't know your ass from a hole in the wall.

Posted by: soothsayer at June 28, 2013 04:35 PM (LVtr+)

404 Prosecuter saying that "starting to exercise intensely with MMA" is relevant.

Posted by: DangerGirl (screw you NSA) at June 28, 2013 04:35 PM (GrtrJ)

405 Oh shit....med records say he was exercising 'intensely with MMA' to help with sleep.

Posted by: Tami at June 28, 2013 04:35 PM (X6akg)

406 Sean, forward them as donations to Rubio, McCain, and Graham.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at June 28, 2013 04:35 PM (dV6An)

407 So they're going to attempt to say that because he studies martial arts, he should have been able to defend himself.

Posted by: DangerGirl (screw you NSA) at June 28, 2013 04:35 PM (GrtrJ)

408 There needs to be an app for Judges to be able to find their brains. You knew it was going to snowball as another Federal judge has ordered the state of Michigan to ignore a State law that bans benefits for domestic partners.

Posted by: polynikes at June 28, 2013 04:35 PM (m2CN7)

409 Talking head on HLN says prosecutor should be fired, did not properly prepare Rachel Jantel.... Let the recriminations begin!
Posted by: MoeRon at June 28, 2013 04:21 PM (J74ez)


Not the prosecutor's fault. Not the education system fault. Not even Jantel's fault. Blame it on.......SEQUESTER!

Posted by: Mallamutt, RINO President for Life at June 28, 2013 04:35 PM (OWjjx)

410
"(No, I don't own one. Or multiples of one, yes, I'm glaring at those you presume I am glaring at)"
I find it curious you do not address this: http://tinyurl.com/pthv8cm

Posted by: The Atom Bomb of Loving Kindness at June 28, 2013 04:35 PM (jqHOY)

411 med records say he was exercising 'intensely with MMA' to help with sleep.

It didn't help apparently.

Posted by: O'Possum at June 28, 2013 04:35 PM (codCi)

412 393 Oh hey Bannion is unbanned. Welcome back


Evidently my wife's iPad is banned.

Why? I have no idea. I PAID for the Platinum Package.

Posted by: Sean Bannion, Chief Logstics Directorate, The People's Benevolent Despotism of Alextopia at June 28, 2013 04:36 PM (SbyHh)

413 Sorry...studieD martial arts.

Posted by: DangerGirl (screw you NSA) at June 28, 2013 04:36 PM (GrtrJ)

414
Strumming my pain with his fingers
Singing my life with his words
Killing me softly with his song

Posted by: That 70s Earworm at June 28, 2013 04:36 PM (3ZtZW)

415 so, GZ tried MMA but didn't work, seems Trayvon was better at it.

Does this mean that Trayvon's medical records get to come in as well?

Posted by: spypeach at June 28, 2013 04:36 PM (0n1+D)

416 Prosecuter saying that "starting to exercise intensely with MMA" is relevant.

The fuh?

Obviously the prosecutor has never been in a fight. Or seen a fight. Or heard a fight described. Or read about a fight. Or...

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) at June 28, 2013 04:36 PM (/PCJa)

417 aha, race = white on medical records, that's the important part.
-------------

Not watching..., but surely you are joking.

Posted by: Auntie Flo's Cooter at June 28, 2013 04:36 PM (aDwsi)

418 Actually the judge ordered that the State offer the benefits which state law now bans. I hate these dress wearing Nazis.

Posted by: polynikes at June 28, 2013 04:37 PM (m2CN7)

419 race = white and MMA three days a week? THAT'S THEIR SMOKING GUN?

wow.

Throw this case out.

Posted by: RiverC, White Chocolate Emancipator at June 28, 2013 04:37 PM (El+h4)

420 Ummmmm, Empress? I just got 10 pallet loads of Hello Kitty vibrators in. Should I send them back?

Seems a shame - and we'd still be on the hook for the shipping charges.
Posted by: Sean Bannion, Chief Logstics Directorate, The People's Benevolent Despotism of Alextopia at June 28, 2013 04:34 PM (SbyHh)


No, no, I'm sure we'll find a use for them. I mean, since they're so good for "back massages".


Look, I think it's pretty well established that I'm not exactly what one would call a prude but I'm not okay with wandering through CVS and oh hey look vibes right next to the toothpaste. Dude, I don't want to have to hear the explanation when "Mommy, why does this buzz like that?" wafts over from the next aisle.


So you own one and a half? One and a third? Half of one?

What are you trying to say here?
Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) at June 28, 2013 04:33 PM (/PCJa)



*smackitysmacksmacksmack*

Posted by: alexthechick - Commence drinking now. at June 28, 2013 04:37 PM (VtjlW)

421 the message is clear

white people don't dare train for fighting or try to defend yourselves

Posted by: RiverC, White Chocolate Emancipator at June 28, 2013 04:38 PM (El+h4)

422
384

Always good to have confirmation that you're doing it right...
Is there a wrong way?

Posted by: the Charlie Faniels of the torque wrench at June 28, 2013 04:38 PM (xcRII)

423 397 Soona,

Yup it is so transparently racial politicking by the majority of the media....

The black guy is the only one to admit..."er the emperor's barrister has no clothes y'all..."

I wonder which side is really using which in the liberal coalition the worse...?

Posted by: sven10077 at June 28, 2013 04:38 PM (lCLwx)

424 These dirty fuckers. I hate lawyers.

Posted by: DangerGirl (screw you NSA) at June 28, 2013 04:38 PM (GrtrJ)

425 With MMA?? GZ was buddies with Dana White? Who new?!

Posted by: dananjcon at June 28, 2013 04:38 PM (jvd3N)

426 Meh, I don't see the harm.

Posted by: O'Possum at June 28, 2013 04:38 PM (codCi)

427 So they're really going for: "He knew martial arts, and we've all seen martial arts movies and know he should have just done some kip-up and hand waiving, and then run away?"

Seriously?

I would laugh my ass off if the defense called someone from the MMA world as an "expert witness" to testify about what it means when someone has you on the ground and is straddling your chest, doing a "ground pound."

Short version: you're toast.

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) at June 28, 2013 04:39 PM (/PCJa)

428 Not watching..., but surely you are joking.
Posted by: Auntie Flo's Cooter at June 28, 2013 04:36 PM (aDwsi)

Well he's mentioned the white thing twice now, plus the MMA part they seem to think is important even though it's clear that GZ was the one getting his ass kicked.

Maybe they're trying to confuse the jury. Who knows?

Posted by: spypeach at June 28, 2013 04:39 PM (0n1+D)

429 Technically, Tai Chi is considered a martial art. Just saying.

Posted by: Serious Cat at June 28, 2013 04:39 PM (UypUQ)

430 I just got 10 pallet loads of Hello Kitty vibrators in.

We'll just chocolate cover them. They'll sell like hotcakes

Posted by: Milo Minderbinder at June 28, 2013 04:39 PM (cYfp6)

431 AlextheChick, what truly terrifies me is going through the aisles and finding the Justin Beiber musical toothbrush. That twit playing inside my head as I brush my teeth!?! Yikes!! And they want $10??

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at June 28, 2013 04:39 PM (dV6An)

432 421 RiverC,

Or admit you're depressed, or seek a hard diagnosis from shrinks, or admit drug use or drinking habits....

What a fucked up world we're letting them craft

Posted by: sven10077 at June 28, 2013 04:40 PM (lCLwx)

433 Yep, Allen...it looks like that's what they're aiming for.

Posted by: DangerGirl (screw you NSA) at June 28, 2013 04:40 PM (GrtrJ)

434 They are adding a charge that Zimmerman did not warn Martin like they do in all the comedy shows.

" I have to warn you, I am a black belt"

Posted by: polynikes at June 28, 2013 04:40 PM (m2CN7)

435 BDLR is still trying to convince that the jury that Zimmerman was some MMA guy and it was he on top of Trayvon that the witnesses saw.

Posted by: lowandslow at June 28, 2013 04:40 PM (Fz2C7)

436 Yep, Allen...it looks like that's what they're aiming for.

*headdesk*

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) at June 28, 2013 04:40 PM (/PCJa)

437
>>>race = white and MMA three days a week? THAT'S THEIR SMOKING GUN?

Florida should hire Refs and fire all the cops, then.

Posted by: Bigby's Punch-Bug Blue at June 28, 2013 04:41 PM (3ZtZW)

438 431 AlextheChick, what truly terrifies me is going through the aisles and finding the Justin Beiber musical toothbrush. That twit playing inside my head as I brush my teeth!?! Yikes!! And they want $10??

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at June 28, 2013 04:39 PM (dV6An)

If the company producing the product had any marketing sense, they should produce the Justin Beiber musical toilet brush. It would certainly make more sense.

Posted by: Slappy at June 28, 2013 04:41 PM (LTbLf)

439 So we're still talking about masterbating?


Nevermind.


It's the Horde. We're always talking about fapping.

Posted by: BCochran1981 - Credible Hulk at June 28, 2013 04:41 PM (GEICT)

440 *nucpalm*

"I must warn you!! I am a Power Ranger!" Is this the defense they are trying for???

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at June 28, 2013 04:41 PM (dV6An)

441 *smackitysmacksmacksmack*

Not only could I hear this in AtC's voice, I could see it.

.....

Meet-ups, if you have the means, I highly recommend one.

Posted by: Sean Bannion, Channeling Ferris Bueller at June 28, 2013 04:41 PM (SbyHh)

442 BDLR is still trying to convince that the jury that Zimmerman was some MMA guy and it was he on top of Trayvon that the witnesses saw.

So they're saying their own witnesses committed perjury? Mr. Good: "The black guy was on top of the white guy." The EMT described the injuries.

WTF?

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) at June 28, 2013 04:42 PM (/PCJa)

443 Your toad-style is no match for my rolling thunder.

Posted by: O'Possum at June 28, 2013 04:42 PM (codCi)

444 Seems prosecution might have opened the door, assuming the Judge isn't primarily a political ass hat, to Trayvon's photos / videos about his fighting, and I think there were some.

Posted by: MoeRon at June 28, 2013 04:42 PM (J74ez)

445 They probably tried their best. Not much to work with there.

Posted by: Soona at June 28, 2013 04:33 PM (s0z2y)

Can't put lipstick on a pig, as we used to say in the service.

Posted by: platija de asalto now using BING and duckduckgo instead of google at June 28, 2013 04:42 PM (Kkt/i)

446 so does the defense get to introduce any relevant medical issues of Trayvon's, or prior fights etc... or is that not allowed by the overlords?

Posted by: spypeach at June 28, 2013 04:42 PM (0n1+D)

447 Apparently GZ's MMA instructor never moved on from the getting in a mounted position and getting my ass kicked sessions...

Posted by: H Badger at June 28, 2013 04:42 PM (n/0Nw)

448 Meet-ups, if you have the means, I highly recommend one.

Posted by: Sean Bannion, Channeling Ferris Bueller at June 28, 2013 04:41 PM (SbyHh)



Fucking THIS

Posted by: BCochran1981 - Credible Hulk at June 28, 2013 04:43 PM (GEICT)

449 " I have to warn you, I am a black belt"

Posted by: polynikes at June 28, 2013 04:40 PM (m2CN7)
**

Haha...These hands are registered with the CIA, FBI and ATF!!

Posted by: dananjcon at June 28, 2013 04:43 PM (jvd3N)

450 From NRO :
"Breaking News

June 28, 2013

Today, House Oversight and Government Reform Chairman, Rep. Darrell Issa, has announced that Lois Lerner will be compelled to testify before the committee."

Posted by: Mike Hammer at June 28, 2013 04:43 PM (aDwsi)

451 Now going over injuries from the altercation. Not sure what we're getting at here...

Posted by: DangerGirl (screw you NSA) at June 28, 2013 04:44 PM (GrtrJ)

452 I found mine years ago. Oranger than a bag of tangerines when it swells up; I couldn't miss it.

Posted by: John Boehner at June 28, 2013 04:44 PM (4f/S/)

453 "These hands are registered as vagina finding apps".

Posted by: MoeRon at June 28, 2013 04:44 PM (J74ez)

454 Apparently GZ's MMA instructor never moved on from the getting in a mounted position and getting my ass kicked sessions...

Also, do the medical records specify MMA? Because if I'm looking for "Martial Art as Exercise Routine" I can think of lots better choices than MMA.

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) at June 28, 2013 04:44 PM (/PCJa)

455 436 Allen G,

I called it based on Grace's bullshit on stippling the other night.

Just call him George 4 hands Zimmerman

Posted by: sven10077 at June 28, 2013 04:45 PM (lCLwx)

456 Zimmerman was nauseated when thinking about the altercation.

PA states that this is psychological.

Posted by: DangerGirl (screw you NSA) at June 28, 2013 04:45 PM (GrtrJ)

457 Now going over injuries from the altercation. Not sure what we're getting at here...

That the injuries (in 20/20 hindsight) were not so severe as to warrant GZ's use of deadly force.

Posted by: MoeRon at June 28, 2013 04:45 PM (J74ez)

458 there saying his injuries were no big deal, he's just using them as an excuse to shoot the poor black kid who was just trying to get some skittles to his baby bro.

Posted by: spypeach at June 28, 2013 04:45 PM (0n1+D)

459 "WTF?"

To be honest I don't know what he's trying to do. I don't think anybody does. He's trying to advance a few different theories throughout the day. It a great tactical move for a defense to confuse the jury, not so good if you're a prosecutor.

Posted by: lowandslow at June 28, 2013 04:45 PM (Fz2C7)

460 I guess the State is going to argue that Z had his story all worked out while he stalked the lad, since they just keep showing that he was consistent from the first telling.

Posted by: O'Possum at June 28, 2013 04:46 PM (codCi)

461 Just call him George 4 hands Zimmerman

*sigh*

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) at June 28, 2013 04:46 PM (/PCJa)

462 454 Allen G,

It's fucking Tae Bo I'd bet money on it......
Who knew my sister in law is a martial artist?

Posted by: sven10077 at June 28, 2013 04:46 PM (lCLwx)

463 I found a vagina on my plate of calamari last night. No kidding.

Safe for Work. Food Pron.

http://tinyurl.com/ndu3fry

Posted by: TexBob at June 28, 2013 04:47 PM (6S4Ai)

464 Heh, Tae Bo. Is that still around?

Posted by: Waterhouse at June 28, 2013 04:47 PM (Kppp9)

465 That the injuries (in 20/20 hindsight) were not so severe as to warrant GZ's use of deadly force.

Posted by: MoeRon at June 28, 2013 04:45 PM (J74ez)



Doesn't matter. The standard is "was the person reasonably afraid for their life at the time".

Posted by: BCochran1981 - Credible Hulk at June 28, 2013 04:48 PM (GEICT)

466 He should have gone with P90Xtreme!!

Posted by: O'Possum at June 28, 2013 04:48 PM (codCi)

467 459 lowandslow,

This is what an inversion of "beyond reasonable doubt" looks like...

"Prove your innocence to a certainty"

Have fun

Posted by: sven10077 at June 28, 2013 04:48 PM (lCLwx)

468 I found a vagina on my plate of calamari last night. No kidding.

Safe for Work. Food Pron.

http://tinyurl.com/ndu3fry


Posted by: TexBob


That might not be marinara...

Posted by: Dang, all out of breath from a quick trip to the local library at June 28, 2013 04:48 PM (Hx2XA)

469 It's fucking Tae Bo I'd bet money on it......
Who knew my sister in law is a martial artist?


Some form of kick-boxing or "hard" martial art like Karate or Tae Kwan Do.

MMA requires near mastery of something like 3 different styles.

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) at June 28, 2013 04:48 PM (/PCJa)

470 via twitter
----

Turns out both lawyers used bad jokes: Zimmerman's lawyer with the knock-knock joke, the prosecutor with his case. #ZimmermanTrial

Posted by: RWC at June 28, 2013 04:49 PM (fWAjv)

471 Prosecutors are doing BS that is normally done by a defense attorney, it seems to me. They are trying to plant doubt in the jurors minds that Zimmerman *might* be innocent. All of the evidence was used up a long time ago.

Posted by: Mike Hammer at June 28, 2013 04:49 PM (aDwsi)

472 so does the defense get to introduce any relevant medical issues of Trayvon's, or prior fights etc... or is that not allowed by the overlords?
Posted by: spypeach at June 28, 2013 04:42 PM (0n1+D)


-----------------------------------------------


In a normal, Constitutional court of law, this would open the door to Trapycons fight history also. But something tells me this isn't going to end up being a Constitutional court of law.

Posted by: Soona at June 28, 2013 04:50 PM (s0z2y)

473 George Z. wishes he was still 204 lbs.

Posted by: Serious Cat at June 28, 2013 04:50 PM (UypUQ)

474 So the prosecutions theory is that Zimmerman bulked up on MMA training, stalked Martin, then called the police before he jumped him and shot him?

This is beyond stupid.

Posted by: JackStraw at June 28, 2013 04:50 PM (g1DWB)

475 This attempt to make Zimmerman some sort of MMA expert is idiot beyond disbelief. This isn't like the movies. In most cases, people who take some form of self-defense or martial arts classes would have to do so for many years before they would have the skill and confidence to use the skills successfully in a real-world, life-or-death situation. I say this as someone who took martial arts for several years in the past. It's difficult to keep your composure and unlock all of your techniques in a moment of high stress. At best you usually can string together a couple of techniques but even then a surprising reaction from your opponent or your technique is poor will hose you. Too many people have watched too many Bruce Lee, Chuck Norris, Jean-Claude Van Damme, and Steven Seagal movies over the years ... movies which are highly choreographed.

Posted by: Slappy at June 28, 2013 04:50 PM (LTbLf)

476
Posted by: BCochran1981 - Credible Hulk at June 28, 2013 04:48 PM (GEICT)
Yeah, but that assumes a jury not getting all emotional. They say "better to be judged by twelve than carried by 6" but let's face it your chances are crappy on the former these days too.

Posted by: tsrblke (tablet) at June 28, 2013 04:50 PM (GaqMa)

477
Howie Carr: These amnesty ads are fraud; tantamount to selling magic beans to grow a magic bean stalk.

Posted by: soothsayer at June 28, 2013 04:50 PM (NLH1M)

478 Why is the jury only 6 btw?

Posted by: steevy at June 28, 2013 04:51 PM (9XBK2)

479 The DA is being an asshole again. Is he going to ask about his testicles?

Posted by: waldo at June 28, 2013 04:51 PM (RZwdH)

480 473
George Z. wishes he was still 204 lbs.

I know that feeling. But at 6'4" I carry my weight well.

Posted by: TexBob at June 28, 2013 04:51 PM (6S4Ai)

481 GZ is 5'7" and obese.

Trayvon was gonna kick that punk cracka's ass.

Trayvon didn't know George had a gun.

Knock knock..Who's there?
Say hello to my little friend....

Posted by: MoeRon at June 28, 2013 04:51 PM (J74ez)

482 Take this:
Doesn't matter. The standard is "was the person reasonably afraid for their life at the time".

With a dash of this:
This is what an inversion of "beyond reasonable doubt" looks like...

And I think you've got what the prosecution is looking for. It shouldn't matter how bad the injuries were- the only question is whether he would reasonably have been afraid for his life.

However, the prosecution is trying to flip that around and suggest that someone who "had practiced martial arts" would somehow know (in the moment) the extent of his injuries (also that his assailant would stop before he was dead), and therefore would not have been "reasonably afraid for his life."

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) at June 28, 2013 04:51 PM (/PCJa)

483 Hope you guys are tuning in to my epic shoot-out over the Zimmerman
case, now wrapping up its second blockbuster hour. And yeah, I heard
something about some kind of bill being passed in the Senate yesterday but my boss
Roger and my good buddy Marco both tell me it was nothing important and
that I should stick to the big news. So let not your heart be troubled, and please call in with your thoughts about that fat black chick with the Moe Howard haircut.

Posted by: Sean Hannity, Wallbanger Extraordinaire at June 28, 2013 04:52 PM (4f/S/)

484 Ralph Maccio just called, He just claimed rights to the screenplay!

Posted by: dananjcon at June 28, 2013 04:52 PM (jvd3N)

485 Ohhh, Lazerashun!

Dat a gud name.

Posted by: Geteal at June 28, 2013 04:53 PM (fWAjv)

486 This is beyond stupid.

Sorry, the style-guide now requires that you say, "This is really retarded... Sir."

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) at June 28, 2013 04:53 PM (/PCJa)

487 483

So let not your heart be troubled, and please call in with your thoughts about that fat black chick with the Moe Howard haircut.

Posted by: Sean Hannity, Wallbanger Extraordinaire at June 28, 2013 04:52 PM (4f/S/)

And a neck that looked like she was wearing a Michelin as a necklace.

Posted by: Slappy at June 28, 2013 04:54 PM (LTbLf)

488 Yep, just talked about the size of his lacerations and how they did not require stitches.

Going to try and say his injuries weren't bad enough to warrant shooting Tarragon.

Posted by: DangerGirl (screw you NSA) at June 28, 2013 04:54 PM (GrtrJ)

489
Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) at June 28, 2013 04:51 PM (/PCJa)

It's just like DnD, he just needed to ask the DM for his hit point total before the next round right?

Posted by: tsrblke (tablet) at June 28, 2013 04:54 PM (GaqMa)

490 Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) at June 28, 2013 04:51 PM (/PCJa)


And any judge worth half a shit would destroy that in the jury instructions.


.....there might be a problem.

Posted by: BCochran1981 - Credible Hulk at June 28, 2013 04:54 PM (GEICT)

491 Technically, Tai Chi is considered a martial art. Just saying.

----

So is origami.....

Posted by: fixerupper at June 28, 2013 04:54 PM (IrLKP)

492 Ralph Maccio just called, He just claimed rights to the screenplay!

Sweep the leg! Sweep the leg!

BLAM!

Sorry, kid, I guess you should have been watching his hands.

Posted by: Blanco Basura at June 28, 2013 04:54 PM (4WhSY)

493 It's just like DnD, he just needed to ask the DM for his hit point total before the next round right?

And count on his Death Save.

And any judge worth half a shit would destroy that in the jury instructions.
.....there might be a problem.


I see you understand.

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) at June 28, 2013 04:55 PM (/PCJa)

494 I thought this was a thread about orgasms and vajayjays.

Posted by: SFGoth at June 28, 2013 04:55 PM (L817k)

495 However, the prosecution is trying to flip that around and suggest that someone who "had practiced martial arts" would somehow know (in the moment) the extent of his injuries (also that his assailant would stop before he was dead), and therefore would not have been "reasonably afraid for his life."

What garbage. Someone is on top of you wailing awa and banging your head on the concrete y and you're not afraid for your life?!!

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at June 28, 2013 04:55 PM (Ur+CA)

496 Mercy is for the weak. Cobra Kai!

Posted by: O'Possum at June 28, 2013 04:56 PM (codCi)

497 I thought this was a thread about orgasms and vajayjays.

All threads are about orgasms and vajayjays.

It's just that all threads are *also* about the George Zimmerman show-trial.

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) at June 28, 2013 04:56 PM (/PCJa)

498 Will it help Marcio Rubio and Lindsay Graham find there vaginas?

Posted by: Barry Soetoro at June 28, 2013 04:56 PM (Q63S1)

499 488 Yep, just talked about the size of his lacerations and how they did not require stitches.

Going to try and say his injuries weren't bad enough to warrant shooting Tarragon.

Posted by: DangerGirl (screw you NSA) at June 28, 2013 04:54 PM (GrtrJ)

The fact that he was attacked was enough. How about his broken nose then? How about if he was dazed and the guy who Zimmerman thought may be a criminal (which is the whole reason for following him in the first place) was able to grab his gun? I really hope that at least one person on this jury is smart enough to see through this argument by the prosecution.

Posted by: Slappy at June 28, 2013 04:56 PM (LTbLf)

500 What garbage. Someone is on top of you wailing awa and banging your head on the concrete y and you're not afraid for your life?!!

I didn't say it made sense in the real world.

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) at June 28, 2013 04:56 PM (/PCJa)

501 I checked out Happy. I think she should shave her head.

Posted by: wth at June 28, 2013 04:56 PM (wAQA5)

502 I see you understand.
Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) at June 28, 2013 04:55 PM (/PCJa)



Far more than is good for my health.

I, honestly, wasn't a very good student in law school, but this shit is so basic it's just fucking stupid.


Btw, I've never seen the actual charges against Zimmerman. Did they charge him with assault or anything else?

Posted by: BCochran1981 - Credible Hulk at June 28, 2013 04:56 PM (GEICT)

503 Zimmerman bulked up on MMA training

It was probably an all-you-can-eat pastry bar after the exercise...

Posted by: Purp at June 28, 2013 04:57 PM (cYfp6)

504 So he had a broken nose.

He did get smashed in the face pretty good.

Posted by: RiverC, White Chocolate Emancipator at June 28, 2013 04:57 PM (El+h4)

505 Yeah, maybe he didn't need stitches, but he did have a broken nose.... Little trayvon didn't have a mark on him, except that bullet hole.... Prosecution is really reaching and the Judge should be dis-barred....

Posted by: hello, it's me also a creep-assed cracka.. at June 28, 2013 04:57 PM (9+ccr)

506 Heard another ad on the Rush show today regarding the shamnesty...absolute bullshit and lies, and who is this group a front for? Shumer and Mcshame?

Posted by: Red Shirt at June 28, 2013 04:57 PM (FIDMq)

507 Prosecution wants you to know that although his nose was possibly broken, it broke straight down, so it's all good.

Posted by: tsrblke (tablet) at June 28, 2013 04:57 PM (GaqMa)

508 478 Why is the jury only 6 btw?

Posted by: steevy at June 28, 2013 04:51 PM (9XBK2)

It's not a capital offense. 12 for capital, 6 for all other crimes.

Posted by: Geteal at June 28, 2013 04:57 PM (fWAjv)

509 I thought this was a thread about orgasms and vajayjays.

Comments on "My first sexual experience and what it was like" are usually not as interesting to others as they might be to the original participants.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at June 28, 2013 04:58 PM (Ur+CA)

510 They're not seeking the death penalty.

Posted by: Geteal at June 28, 2013 04:58 PM (fWAjv)

511 I kind of feel sorry for the state's lawyer in the case. It seems like there really isn't any case against GZ at all.

Posted by: RiverC, White Chocolate Emancipator at June 28, 2013 04:58 PM (El+h4)

512 All the prosecution has left is to muddy the water. As some here have pointed out, this is very very strange. It's usually the defense that does this.

Something tells me that the FL prosecutors office is now trying to show themselves to be innocent. What a bunch of motherfuckers.

Posted by: Soona at June 28, 2013 04:58 PM (s0z2y)

513 I really hope that at least one person on this jury is smart enough to see through this argument by the prosecution.

That's the defense's job.

Actually, it's not (thought the defense should do it anyway). It's the Judge's job to tell them to ignore such stupid speculation in their jury instructions.

Btw, I've never seen the actual charges against Zimmerman. Did they charge him with assault or anything else?

As far as I know they only have the single count of Murder 2 and nothing else (which *should* mean no possibility of a "lesser included charge").

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) at June 28, 2013 04:58 PM (/PCJa)

514 >>However, the prosecution is trying to flip that around and suggest that someone who "had practiced martial arts" would somehow know (in the moment) the extent of his injuries (also that his assailant would stop before he was dead), and therefore would not have been "reasonably afraid for his life."

It's all smoke. Zimmerman claimed that the reason he shot Martin is because Martin was trying to get his gun.

The injuries from the beatings are meaningless save for the fact they demonstrate that Martin was attacking Zimmerman. The reason he shot was because the punk was going for his gun, not because he thought he was going to get beaten to death.

Posted by: JackStraw at June 28, 2013 04:59 PM (g1DWB)

515 I guess next time GZ tries to fake his injuries by punching himself in the face and scratching the back of his head, he had better do a better job. Or at least pretend to be dizzy or something, fall down a couple times, vomit up some blood.

Clearly he did not do a good enough job.

Posted by: spypeach at June 28, 2013 04:59 PM (0n1+D)

516 511 I kind of feel sorry for the state's lawyer in the case. It seems like there really isn't any case against GZ at all.
Posted by: RiverC, White Chocolate Emancipator at June 28, 2013 04:58 PM (El

Unfortunately the Judge is trying to make it one...

Posted by: hello, it's me also a creep-assed cracka.. at June 28, 2013 04:59 PM (9+ccr)

517 First rule of MMA, Danielson; carry a loaded gun.

Posted by: Mr. Miyagi at June 28, 2013 04:59 PM (G9Mmf)

518 Wait. Women have more than one vagina?

Posted by: Hotspur at June 28, 2013 04:59 PM (5cgIv)

519 Is this the same app that Gabe from Penny Arcade caught shit over, for saying that only women have vaginas?

Posted by: Karusky at June 28, 2013 04:59 PM (bM5TF)

520 What can people do to get this show trial thrown out and the judge disbarred? Really. People acting like this isn't a sham.

Posted by: RiverC, White Chocolate Emancipator at June 28, 2013 04:59 PM (El+h4)

521 This kind of testimony would be proper if GZ were suing Estate of TM for his personal injuries, but the relevance in a self defense case is minimal and I have no doubt prosecution is going to argue that GZ did not use reasonable force in response to TM's attack.

Posted by: MoeRon at June 28, 2013 04:59 PM (J74ez)

522 I think OJ Simpson has finally found the real killer of Nicole like he said he would. That's right, Zimmerman.

Posted by: polynikes at June 28, 2013 04:59 PM (m2CN7)

523 488 DangerGirl,

So remember folks when someone is trying out for their neurlogical alteration merit badge on your medulla region to exercise analysis as you feel lacerations and contusions developing to measure using your powers of clairvoyance whether or not they are deper than a third of an inch......

Stupid fucking bullshit

Posted by: sven10077 at June 28, 2013 04:59 PM (lCLwx)

524
BTW,
I'd note that my dad broke his nose in a car crash. Docs recommended he see an ENT as well. He didn't, it's fairly common if there's no breathing problems.

Posted by: tsrblke (tablet) at June 28, 2013 05:00 PM (GaqMa)

525 494 I thought this was a thread about orgasms and vajayjays.

Posted by: SFGoth at June 28, 2013 04:55 PM (L817k)

Well, if you can integrate a discussion on orgasms and vajayjays with neck fat, MMA fighting techniques, calamari, and the Cobra Kai, feel free.

Posted by: Slappy at June 28, 2013 05:00 PM (LTbLf)

526 478 Why is the jury only 6 btw?
Posted by: steevy at June 28, 2013 04:51 PM (9XBK2)


Florida law. I wonder if it is the same in DP trials.

Posted by: waldo at June 28, 2013 05:00 PM (RZwdH)

527 It's all smoke. Zimmerman claimed that the reason he shot Martin is because Martin was trying to get his gun.

Clarification: Because the thought Martin *might be* trying to get his gun.

Just as valid a defense, and much harder to "disprove."

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) at June 28, 2013 05:00 PM (/PCJa)

528 These Days George Zimmerman is an avid practitioner of MME, Mixed-Munchie-Eats.

Posted by: Serious Cat at June 28, 2013 05:01 PM (UypUQ)

529 Here comes the defense for cross.

Posted by: DangerGirl (screw you NSA) at June 28, 2013 05:01 PM (GrtrJ)

530 Imma saying this right now. My urine doubles as yellow drank!

Posted by: Rachel Jenteal at June 28, 2013 05:01 PM (V1ZIU)

531 If GZ had only agreed to be taken to the hospital, the whole tone would be changed.

It's tough to believe that that decision could weigh so heavily.

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at June 28, 2013 05:01 PM (jjvz+)

532 The Prosecution is going to ask for a change of venue before this is over.

Posted by: O'Possum at June 28, 2013 05:01 PM (codCi)

533 525
494 I thought this was a thread about orgasms and vajayjays.

Posted by: SFGoth at June 28, 2013 04:55 PM (L817k)

Well,
if you can integrate a discussion on orgasms and vajayjays with neck
fat, MMA fighting techniques, calamari, and the Cobra Kai, feel free.

Posted by: Slappy

I can't. I can't do everything.

Posted by: SFGoth at June 28, 2013 05:01 PM (L817k)

534 I warn you I have a black belt.

Well, I have a gun belt so I win.

Posted by: polynikes at June 28, 2013 05:01 PM (m2CN7)

535 Snicking the snootch, eh? I dunno, that doesn't have the descriptive strength of, say, pounding the pud, or the even more vivid

I'm beating my dick like it owes me money.

Get in there, wimmins, and up your descriptive game.

Posted by: GnuBreed at June 28, 2013 05:01 PM (cHZB7)

536 Florida law. I wonder if it is the same in DP trials.
Posted by: waldo at June 28, 2013 05:00 PM (RZwdH)

12 jurors for DP.



(mind out of the gutters folks)

Posted by: RWC at June 28, 2013 05:01 PM (fWAjv)

537 As far as I know they only have the single count of Murder 2 and nothing else (which *should* mean no possibility of a "lesser included charge").
Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) at June 28, 2013 04:58 PM (/PCJa)



I answered this earlier and posted the actual report for the State of Florida. The charge of murder automatically allows for lesser included charges.

The reason I ask about other charges is that there's a law in Florida called 10-20-Life.

If you have a gun on you during commission of a felony - minimum 10 years

If you discharge the gun during the commission of a felony - minimum 20 years

Shoot somebody during the commission of a felony, whether they die or not - minimum 25 years

Posted by: BCochran1981 - Credible Hulk at June 28, 2013 05:01 PM (GEICT)

538
Posted by: Karusky at June 28, 2013 04:59 PM (bM5TF)

Well the kotaku article about it but yes.

Posted by: tsrblke (tablet) at June 28, 2013 05:02 PM (GaqMa)

539 Is there an AoSHQ pool for which network releases personal info about the jurors first?

Posted by: RWC at June 28, 2013 05:02 PM (fWAjv)

540
ISOTTAEII


Posted by: soothsayer at June 28, 2013 05:03 PM (Fely/)

541 539 Is there an AoSHQ pool for which network releases personal info about the jurors first?
Posted by: RWC at June 28, 2013 05:02 PM (fWAjv)

Only if he is found innocent...

Posted by: hello, it's me also a creep-assed cracka.. at June 28, 2013 05:03 PM (9+ccr)

542 Mine better come with a weedeater.

Posted by: Big Mooch at June 28, 2013 05:03 PM (wAQA5)

543
Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at June 28, 2013 05:01 PM (jjvz+)

Wait, Obamacare could have prevented this?!

Posted by: tsrblke (tablet) at June 28, 2013 05:04 PM (GaqMa)

544 If GZ had only agreed to be taken to the hospital, the whole tone would be changed.

No it wouldn't, because the injuries wouldn't have been any worse. The prosecution would just argue that he "knew that *not* going to the hospital would look suspicious."

Anything he did is "proof of guilt" in the show trial.

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) at June 28, 2013 05:04 PM (/PCJa)

545
" Little trayvon didn't have a mark on him, except that bullet hole"

I don't think that's true, wasn't it reported that he had bruises on his hands and knuckles? That vile Zimmerman a-hole was breaking Trayvon's fists with his face.

Posted by: The Atom Bomb of Loving Kindness at June 28, 2013 05:05 PM (jqHOY)

546 I can't believe the court is allowing this kind of "how bad was his nose broken" bullshit testimony in this criminal case. Jesse Jackson must have called her and told her to save the bacon.

Posted by: MoeRon at June 28, 2013 05:05 PM (J74ez)

547 Ah gots ta warn you muh motha fuckin lady box iz registered wif da FBI, da CIA, and da poolice you know das right!

Yo it can hear wet grass.

CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW, BITCHEZ?!?!?

Posted by: Jeantell at June 28, 2013 05:05 PM (+5Xv8)

548 506
Heard another ad on the Rush show today regarding the
shamnesty...absolute bullshit and lies, and who is this group a front
for? Shumer and Mcshame?

Ad? What ad? I didn't hear any ad.

Ohhhh wait a minute, are you talking about that "Made in California" commercial Apple has been roasted over? Why yes, I DEFINITELY heard THAT and I can tell you right now that the opposition to that ad is coming from embittered (that's "butt-hurt", for those of you in Rio Linda) Samsung PLANTS! Apple is the greatest company in the known solar system! So Snerdly will be taking your calls on this hot issue, and the first ten people to get through will win free iPads from the supply I, uh, acquired recently, emblazoned (that's "etched" for those of you on the Zimmerman jury) with the EIB logo, EL FREEBO! But first, let me tell you a story of a young woman in Muncie, Indiana who recently discovered shady things going on with her identity....

Posted by: RUSH! at June 28, 2013 05:05 PM (4f/S/)

549 Hotspur: "Wait. Women have more than one vagina?"

Not all, but some certainly can. Meet my girlfriend Natasha. Since her birth in 1987, she and her family have lived on the outskirts of Chernobyl.

Posted by: Sergey at June 28, 2013 05:06 PM (LTbLf)

550
Bone protruding? What idiot would have suggested that, the nose doesn't have hard bones...
(a broken bone is hard cartilage being squished.)

Posted by: tsrblke (tablet) at June 28, 2013 05:07 PM (GaqMa)

551 I can't believe the court is allowing this kind of "how bad was his nose broken" bullshit testimony in this criminal case. Jesse Jackson must have called her and told her to save the bacon.

This.

Well, IDK about the Jesse Jackson part, but it is disgraceful that this line is even allowed. Hopefully the defense blows this all to pieces, too.

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) at June 28, 2013 05:07 PM (/PCJa)

552 If you spend ten seconds on the twitter hash #zimmerman you may feel the sudden urge to stomp on down to the hardware store and buy every single ingredient listed in the An@rchist's Handbook.

Posted by: weft cut-loop at June 28, 2013 05:08 PM (XS/b3)

553 Bone protruding? What idiot would have suggested that, the nose doesn't have hard bones...

Wait, what?

Do they even know how badly a bone (a real bone, not cartilage like in the nose) has to be broken to break the skin?

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) at June 28, 2013 05:08 PM (/PCJa)

554 That Andrew Branca guy was right about this witness, he said in a Tweet it wasn't a good move by the state because it will give O'Mara another opportunity to show pictures of Zimmermans bloody face to the jury. Which is exactly what he's doing.

Posted by: lowandslow at June 28, 2013 05:08 PM (Fz2C7)

555 Didn't someone testify earlier that they knew Zimmerman but could hardly recognize him when they saw him after the incident?

Posted by: hello, it's me also a creep-assed cracka.. at June 28, 2013 05:09 PM (9+ccr)

556 Get in there, wimmins, and up your descriptive game.
Posted by: GnuBreed at June 28, 2013 05:01 PM (cHZB7)



Redlining the reactors.


*mic drop*

Posted by: alexthechick - Commence drinking now. at June 28, 2013 05:09 PM (VtjlW)

557 who is this group a front

for? Shumer and Mcshame?
------

Ad is run by Mark Zuckerburg financed faux "conservative" group. The ad was most likely aired by the affiliate,. not by Rush.

Posted by: Mike Hammer at June 28, 2013 05:09 PM (aDwsi)

558 Zimmerman's saving throw in this case was his gun.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at June 28, 2013 05:09 PM (dV6An)

559 Zimmerman's saving throw in this case was his gun.

Ah, a 1-shot magic item with the effect "immune to beating"

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) at June 28, 2013 05:10 PM (/PCJa)

560 Didn't someone testify earlier that they knew Zimmerman but could hardly recognize him when they saw him after the incident?

**

Wasn't it the blond neighbor?

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at June 28, 2013 05:10 PM (jjvz+)

561 It was +12 for death-throwing

Posted by: O'Possum at June 28, 2013 05:10 PM (codCi)

562 That's a creepy picture for sure, but I'd still hit it.

Posted by: MacGruber at June 28, 2013 05:10 PM (xvtYZ)

563
Trayvon's mother can't wait for this cracka-ass trial to get done with so she can get to suin' everyone.

Posted by: soothsayer at June 28, 2013 05:10 PM (GcwH1)

564 The Prosecution is going to ask for a change of venue before this is over.


More like a change of case.

Posted by: rickb223 at June 28, 2013 05:11 PM (ix+5k)

565 Jeantel was a bullfrog
she was a good friend of mine
I never understood a single word she said...

Posted by: Zombie Trayvon at June 28, 2013 05:11 PM (wAQA5)

566
Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) at June 28, 2013 05:08 PM (/PCJa)

I missed some of it, but based on the cross it sounds like the prosecution was trying to claim the nose was not broken or something? Maybe?

Posted by: tsrblke (tablet) at June 28, 2013 05:11 PM (GaqMa)

567 Wasn't it the blond neighbor?
Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at June 28, 2013 05:10 PM (jjvz+)

Not sure but it was yet again a prosecution witness, I believe...

Posted by: hello, it's me also a creep-assed cracka.. at June 28, 2013 05:11 PM (9+ccr)

568 >>Clarification: Because the thought Martin *might be* trying to get his gun.

>>Just as valid a defense, and much harder to "disprove."

Au contraire.

>Zimmerman claims in the video that Martin said “you’re going to die” and reached for Zimmerman’s gun just before the shooting.

http://tinyurl.com/qejwp4o

Posted by: JackStraw at June 28, 2013 05:11 PM (g1DWB)

569
speaking of which...

what's it take to get a nood post on this cracka-ass blog?

Posted by: soothsayer at June 28, 2013 05:11 PM (xIzGn)

570 Redlining the reactors.

Posted by: alexthechick - Commence drinking now. at June 28, 2013 05:09 PM (VtjlW)



You're overloading the reactors again? What? Is Trey Gowdy smackitying someone again?

Posted by: BCochran1981 - Credible Hulk at June 28, 2013 05:12 PM (GEICT)

571 Trayvon's mother can't wait for this cracka-ass trial to get done with so she can get to suin' everyone.

That's the biggest travesty here. By charging Zimmerman like they have, they have opened him up to civil suit as well- and a civil jury is likely to issue a big fat judgement against him because "empathy."

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) at June 28, 2013 05:12 PM (/PCJa)

572 Is there an AoSHQ pool for which network releases personal info about the jurors first?
Posted by: RWC at June 28, 2013 05:02 PM (fWAjv)


-----------------------------------------------


Tobe honest, those are the people that I have the most feelings for right now. I think they already know their lives are fucked if theyfind Z innocent. Fucking Jackson, Sharpton, Dear Leader, and the MFM will make sure of that.

Posted by: Soona at June 28, 2013 05:12 PM (s0z2y)

573 I can't get past a lot in this trial, but the news that Jeantel was interviewed by police, with Crump and T's family in attendance just blows my mind.

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at June 28, 2013 05:12 PM (jjvz+)

574 Is there any evidence that young, cheeky Arnold Drummond was pistol whipped to a bloody pulp? No?

The defense rests.

Posted by: Fritz at June 28, 2013 05:13 PM (G9Mmf)

575 Zimmerman claims in the video that Martin said “you’re going to die” and reached for Zimmerman’s gun just before the shooting.

Huh. I hadn't seen that. (Well, I still haven't seen it, I'll try to watch it tonight, though).

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) at June 28, 2013 05:13 PM (/PCJa)

576 Redlining the reactors.

Shit. The warp-core ejectors are offline, again. These have got to be the shittiest design built by the lowest bidder.

Posted by: O'Possum at June 28, 2013 05:13 PM (codCi)

577
I've got a friend who adds the suffix -ass to nearly every adjective that comes out of her mouth.

Posted by: soothsayer at June 28, 2013 05:13 PM (BUcLz)

578 573
I can't get past a lot in this trial, but the news that Jeantel was
interviewed by police, with Crump and T's family in attendance just
blows my mind.

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at June 28, 2013 05:12 PM (jjvz+)



This x1000

Posted by: DangerGirl (screw you NSA) at June 28, 2013 05:14 PM (GrtrJ)

579 Only if he is found innocent...

Posted by: hello, it's me also a creep-assed cracka.. at June 28, 2013 05:03 PM (9+ccr)

I think it will be released before the verdict.

Just to be sure.

Posted by: RWC at June 28, 2013 05:14 PM (fWAjv)

580 Another picture of George W. Bush in Zambia. Him and Laura are there to help renovate a cervical cancer clinic.

http://tinyurl.com/q3jft7d

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at June 28, 2013 05:14 PM (dV6An)

581 Joe Bastardi ‏@BigJoeBastardi 1m
Heh Drudge, whats with the surface heat index? Lets see real temps, not indexes. Werent keeping indexes in 1930s
Et Tu Drudgo?

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at June 28, 2013 05:14 PM (jjvz+)

582
Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) at June 28, 2013 05:12 PM (/PCJa)

MO grants civil immunity against cases in self defense, does Florida?
I mean if so, and he manages to beat this, would that kick in?

Posted by: tsrblke (tablet) at June 28, 2013 05:14 PM (GaqMa)

583 Excellent point, Counselor! If your nose is smashed hard enough into your face, you could die....

Posted by: MoeRon at June 28, 2013 05:14 PM (Drdfh)

584 Windows Warp Core 8 (TM)

Posted by: eleven at June 28, 2013 05:15 PM (fsLdt)

585 Shit, now I have to go listen to Jeremiah Was A Bullfrog on YouTube to get it out of my head. Thanks for nuthin.

Posted by: Lincolntf at June 28, 2013 05:15 PM (ZshNr)

586 Trayvon's mother can't wait for this cracka-ass trial to get done with so she can get to suin' everyone.

IIRC, the condo where the justifiable homicide occurred paid out a mill or so instead of fight her claim. So she's got about a 90 day supple of cash to blow before her anger rises to litigiousness levels.

Posted by: Name Withheld Upon Request at June 28, 2013 05:15 PM (U2UQk)

587 Bone protruding? What idiot would have suggested that, the nose doesn't have hard bones...
(a broken bone is hard cartilage being squished.)

Posted by: tsrblke (tablet) at June 28, 2013 05:07 PM (GaqMa)


Wrong. Where do you think the eye bone is connected to???

Posted by: RWC at June 28, 2013 05:15 PM (fWAjv)

588 MO grants civil immunity against cases in self defense, does Florida?

Dunno.

Texas doesn't. Well, we don't *automatically* grant civil immunity in self defense cases. If you picked the fight, or really did things to escalate the violence, you might be found "not guilty" by self defense, but you'd still be liable for civil penalties.

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) at June 28, 2013 05:16 PM (/PCJa)

589 Shit, now I have to go listen to Jeremiah Was A Bullfrog on YouTube to get it out of my head. Thanks for nuthin.

Posted by: Lincolntf
--------------

Try getting the image of Rachel Jentel out of your head..

Posted by: Mike Hammer at June 28, 2013 05:16 PM (aDwsi)

590 Where do you think the eye bone is connected to???

The ear bone?

Posted by: O'Possum at June 28, 2013 05:16 PM (codCi)

591 Hey Sean, I thought you had ordered a limiter on the Sybian.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at June 28, 2013 05:16 PM (dV6An)

592
the condo association already gave her a million bucks??


Posted by: soothsayer at June 28, 2013 05:16 PM (+oin+)

593 what's it take to get a nood post on this cracka-ass blog?

That's Award-Winning cracka-ass blog.

Posted by: HeatherRadish™ needs a beer at June 28, 2013 05:16 PM (/kI1Q)

594 Anna Puma (+SmuD): "Another picture of George W. Bush in Zambia. Him and Laura are there to help renovate a cervical cancer clinic."

He should be since his tax cuts caused all cervical cancer in Africa.

Posted by: Hate-Filled Liberal at June 28, 2013 05:17 PM (LTbLf)

595 This lawyer is pretty good on his feet even though his voice/elocution sometimes reminds me of a Looney Toone cartoon character whose name escapes me in my current state of dementia.

Posted by: MoeRon at June 28, 2013 05:17 PM (Drdfh)

596
Posted by: RWC at June 28, 2013 05:15 PM (fWAjv)

Well the septum sits below the actual skull, iirc everything forward of the cheeks is hard cartilage, not bone.

Posted by: tsrblke (tablet) at June 28, 2013 05:17 PM (GaqMa)

597 >>>Wrong. Where do you think the eye bone is connected to???

The pubic bone?

Posted by: Fritz at June 28, 2013 05:17 PM (G9Mmf)

598 Wrong. Where do you think the eye bone is connected to???

Posted by: RWC
---------------

The brain bone?

Posted by: Mike Hammer at June 28, 2013 05:17 PM (aDwsi)

599 Shit, Ace, stop replaying the vagina app and put a new one up.

Posted by: L, elle at June 28, 2013 05:17 PM (0PiQ4)

600 Not funny but still LMAO

Fox News ‏@FoxNews 2m
Birdwatchers flock to see rare bird, then watch it killed by wind turbine http://fxn.ws/14BdhPX

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at June 28, 2013 05:17 PM (jjvz+)

601 Actually it's the face bone.

Posted by: eleven at June 28, 2013 05:17 PM (fsLdt)

602 Sure trayvons momma is gonna sue... But Zimmerman has nothing left to take, so watch out city and State... she's a commin...

Posted by: hello, it's me also a creep-assed cracka.. at June 28, 2013 05:18 PM (9+ccr)

603 Another picture of George W. Bush in Zambia. Him and Laura are there to help renovate a cervical cancer clinic.

Doing more good in a week than Barack Obama has done in five years.

Posted by: t-bird at June 28, 2013 05:18 PM (FcR7P)

604 Six hundredth!

Posted by: wth at June 28, 2013 05:18 PM (wAQA5)

605 Bone protruding? What idiot would have suggested that, the nose doesn't have hard bones...(a broken bone is hard cartilage being squished.)
Posted by: tsrblke (tablet) at June 28, 2013 05:07 PM (GaqMa)


---------------------------------------


I suggest you take an anatomy course.

Posted by: Soona at June 28, 2013 05:18 PM (s0z2y)

606 Just going up is Mark Steyn's column, which ties this weird week altogether:

--------
Later in the day, Senator John Hoeven, Republican of North Dakota and alleged author of the Corker-Hoeven amendment to the immigration bill, went on Hugh Hewitt’s radio show and, in a remarkable interview, revealed to the world that he had absolutely no idea what was in the legislation he “wrote.” Rachel Jeantel, the endearingly disastrous star witness at the George Zimmerman trial, excused her inability to comprehend the letter she’d supposedly written to Trayvon Martin’s parents on the grounds that “I don’t read cursive.” Senator Hoeven doesn’t read legislative. For example, Section 5(b)(1):

"Not later than 180 days after the date of the enactment of this Act, the Secretary shall establish a strategy, to be known as the ‘Southern Border Fencing Strategy’ . . ."

On the other hand, Section 5(b)(5):

"Notwithstanding paragraph (1), nothing in this subsection shall require the Secretary to install fencing . . ."

Asked to reconcile these two paragraphs, Senator Hoeven explained that, “when I read through that with my lawyer,” the guy said relax, don’t worry about it.
--------------

Posted by: Serious Cat at June 28, 2013 05:18 PM (UypUQ)

607
I haven't seen any of this trial, but from the descriptions here, it seems the prosecution is going for a political verdict, not a conviction.

I suspect we're going to get it. "Riots For Tribble" signs are already being printed, I'm sure.

Posted by: BurtTC at June 28, 2013 05:18 PM (TOk1P)

608 Shit.

Posted by: wth at June 28, 2013 05:18 PM (wAQA5)

609 Not funny but still LMAO

You're wrong. That is funny.

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) at June 28, 2013 05:18 PM (/PCJa)

610 Where do you think the eye bone is connected to???

The fist bone, CreepyAss Cracker!

Posted by: zombie Trayvon© at June 28, 2013 05:19 PM (codCi)

611 Shit, Ace, stop replaying the vagina app and put a new one up.
Posted by: L, elle at June 28, 2013 05:17 PM (0PiQ4)


How can you in good conscience deny the supremacy of the story about vagina apps?

Posted by: MoeRon at June 28, 2013 05:19 PM (Drdfh)

612 Shit, Ace, stop replaying the vagina app and put a new one

There's no app for that.

Posted by: eleven at June 28, 2013 05:19 PM (fsLdt)

613 Birdwatchers flock to see rare bird, then watch it killed by wind turbine

Ban....! Shit. Ban coal! There, I feel better.

Posted by: Lefty Loons at June 28, 2013 05:19 PM (FcR7P)

614 NDH, yep. A white-throated needletail. First one seen in the UK since 1991. And it got Cuisinarted by a wind turbine.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at June 28, 2013 05:20 PM (dV6An)

615
Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) at June 28, 2013 05:16 PM (/PCJa)
Maybe that's only for castle law now that I think about it. They redid our self defense laws in 2007 or so when they fixed our castle law. I may be wrong about how it worked out.
Our old Castle law was shitty and stupid. You had to use "equal force" or something stupid.

Posted by: tsrblke (tablet) at June 28, 2013 05:20 PM (GaqMa)

616 Not funny but still LMAO



Fox News ‏@FoxNews 2m

Birdwatchers flock to see rare bird, then watch it killed by wind turbine http://fxn.ws/14BdhPX
-------------------

THAT is hysterical. I momentarily thought 'Onion'.....

Posted by: Mike Hammer at June 28, 2013 05:20 PM (aDwsi)

617 Looks like Zimmerman got whomped upside the head pretty good. Both front and back.

Posted by: DangerGirl (screw you NSA) at June 28, 2013 05:20 PM (GrtrJ)

618 I suggest you take an anatomy course.

I think he meant "a broken nose" not "a broken bone."

Senator Hoeven doesn’t read legislative

*headdesk*

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) at June 28, 2013 05:20 PM (/PCJa)

619
That's the biggest travesty here. By charging Zimmerman like they have, they have opened him up to civil suit as well- and a civil jury is likely to issue a big fat judgement against him because "empathy."

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) at June 28, 2013 05:12 PM (/PCJa)

George Zimmerman can do an Al Sharpton when he lost his civil suit in Tawana Brawley case and tell them the check is in the mail.

Posted by: YIKES!S at June 28, 2013 05:20 PM (mETGQ)

620 live feed at 'legal insurrection' showing lots and lots of photos of Zimm's head injuries


another 'state witness' gone rogue

Posted by: watching the sun set, fitfully at June 28, 2013 05:21 PM (omBWL)

621 I suspect we're going to get it. "Riots For Tribble" signs are already being printed, I'm sure.


Let them. It will be the steepest learning curve in the history of the world for "Unintended Consequences".

Posted by: rickb223 at June 28, 2013 05:21 PM (ix+5k)

622 Joe Bastardi

The worlds greatest meteorologist.

Related: I just got last months utility bill for abode her in Pennsylvania. I've never used fewer units of electricity for the month of June (and paid so much money). Perfect 'Goldilocks' weather.

Posted by: Name Withheld Upon Request at June 28, 2013 05:21 PM (U2UQk)

623 Well the septum sits below the actual skull, iirc everything forward of the cheeks is hard cartilage, not bone.
Posted by: tsrblke (tablet) at June 28, 2013 05:17 PM (GaqMa)

..,,,

As a guy who's had his septum deviated twice and my nasal bone fairly well crushed once..... rap the bridge of your nose hard. That's bone. And it hurts like fuck when it breaks.

Posted by: fixerupper at June 28, 2013 05:21 PM (IrLKP)

624 A white-throated needletail. First one seen in the UK since 1991. And it got Cuisinarted by a wind turbine.

...dead birds produce no carbon, wingnutz!

Posted by: HeatherRadish™ needs a beer at June 28, 2013 05:21 PM (/kI1Q)

625 I didn't know I ever lost mine.

Posted by: buffy at June 28, 2013 05:22 PM (INAPN)

626 613 Birdwatch613 Birdwatchers flock to see rare bird, then watch it killed by wind turbine ers flock to see rare bird, then watch it killed by wind turbine

Ban....! Shit. Ban coal! There, I feel better.

That reminds me of a story here in CA> where a bunch of School kids helped with their donations an injured sea otter and went to see it put back in the wild. As soon as it swam out a shark came and ate it. Had to say it wasn't funny because it was young kids, but secretly I laughed because of the stupid do-gooder environmentalists that did it...

Posted by: hello, it's me also a creep-assed cracka.. at June 28, 2013 05:22 PM (9+ccr)

627 Hey Allen G and tsrblke


776.032 Immunity from criminal prosecution and civil action for justifiable use of force.—

(1) A person who uses force as permitted in s. 776.012, s. 776.013, or s. 776.031 is justified in using such force and is immune from criminal prosecution and civil action for the use of such force,

Posted by: BCochran1981 - Credible Hulk at June 28, 2013 05:22 PM (GEICT)

628 >>I suggest you take an anatomy course.

>I think he meant "a broken nose" not "a broken bone."

Yea, but there are bones in your nose. Well, there better be or you need to get that looked at.

Broke my nose a couple times. Trust me on this one, they are bones.

Posted by: JackStraw at June 28, 2013 05:22 PM (g1DWB)

629 Like that big deal they made about the otters being rescued and returned to the wild.

As everyone watched, a killer whale swam up and gobble gobble nom nom.

Posted by: eleven at June 28, 2013 05:23 PM (fsLdt)

630 I wouldn't have flown into that damned thing if I hadn't been so distracted looking for my vagina.

Posted by: Turbine-Shredded Bird at June 28, 2013 05:23 PM (4f/S/)

631
WASHINGTON (AP) — The Obama administration issued its final
compromise Friday for religiously affiliated charities, hospitals and
other nonprofits that object to covering birth control in their employee
health plans.
The Health and Human Services Department said the
final plan simplifies how insurers provide the coverage separately from
faith-based groups and gives religious nonprofits more time to comply.
However, the changes are unlikely to resolve objections from faith
groups that the requirement violates their religious freedom.






Commissar Barry: I've giving you bitter clingers till tomorrow to submit

Posted by: TheQuietMan at June 28, 2013 05:23 PM (TGA2G)

632 Great, just listened to Joy to the World, and I'm now I'm stuck on Eli's Coming. Damn you!

Posted by: Lincolntf at June 28, 2013 05:23 PM (ZshNr)

633 629 Like that big deal they made about the otters being rescued and returned to the wild.

As everyone watched, a killer whale swam up and gobble gobble nom nom.

That's right it was a killer whale...

Posted by: hello, it's me also a creep-assed cracka.. at June 28, 2013 05:23 PM (9+ccr)

634
Posted by: Soona at June 28, 2013 05:18 PM (s0z2y)

They pointed to the lower nasal area, not the top where the bridge of the nose is.

Posted by: tsrblke (tablet) at June 28, 2013 05:24 PM (GaqMa)

635 607 BurtTC,

Burt not singling you out or picking at you but notice the left now gives a pass to rad isam and racial threats to riot(by approved groups only) to get judicial outcomes they favor...

They really are convinced this will remain a one way street?

Curious what your view is.

Posted by: sven10077 at June 28, 2013 05:25 PM (cimKM)

636 (1) A person who uses force as permitted in s. 776.012, s. 776.013, or s. 776.031 is justified in using such force and is immune from criminal prosecution and civil action for the use of such force,

Cool.

Texas has something like that, but the devil is in the details of those other sections.

The problem is that, in TX at least, the civil case can still go forward. That is, it's very, very hard to get the civil suit shut down. Now, the law says the judgment shouldn't go against you, but a jury in a civil trial is (regrettably) unlikely to pay much attention to that.

It's not that the *law* doesn't make you immune, it's that the civil jury may just ignore that part of the law.

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) at June 28, 2013 05:25 PM (/PCJa)

637 Understatement of the year:

Andrew Branca, LOSD ‏@LawSelfDefense 2m #Zimmerman Trial Day 5: I'm pretty sure O'Mara happy to keep showing jury GZ trauma as long as they'll let him http://is.gd/RuSFZY

Posted by: toby928© at June 28, 2013 05:25 PM (codCi)

638 As everyone watched, a killer whale swam up and gobble gobble nom nom.

***

Nature is a beast.

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at June 28, 2013 05:25 PM (jjvz+)

639 Eli's coming, hide your parts girl...

Posted by: Mike Hammer at June 28, 2013 05:25 PM (aDwsi)

640 Just got a robocall...Biden is coming to VA to promote new coal taxes.

He could use the vajayjay app.

Posted by: sTevo at June 28, 2013 05:26 PM (Tssnh)

641 The problem is that, in TX at least, the civil case
can still go forward. That is, it's very, very hard to get the civil
suit shut down. Now, the law says the judgment shouldn't go against
you, but a jury in a civil trial is (regrettably) unlikely to pay much
attention to that.



It's not that the *law* doesn't make you immune, it's that the civil jury may just ignore that part of the law.

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) at June 28, 2013 05:25 PM (/PCJa)



That's why if you shoot someone here, you shoot them dead.

Posted by: DangerGirl (screw you NSA) at June 28, 2013 05:26 PM (GrtrJ)

642 Seal the only white meat for Orca.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at June 28, 2013 05:26 PM (dV6An)

643 640 Just got a robocall...Biden is coming to VA to promote new coal taxes.

He could use the vajayjay app.
Posted by: sTevo at June 28, 2013 05:26 PM (Tssnh)

That should go over well, everyone loves new taxes!

Posted by: hello, it's me also a creep-assed cracka.. at June 28, 2013 05:27 PM (9+ccr)

644 New App Teaches Women How to Find Their Vaginas .. as if there aren't enough perverts out there who would be happy to assist

Posted by: Hilarity Clinton at June 28, 2013 05:27 PM (e8kgV)

645 That's why if you shoot someone here, you shoot them dead.

And hope there's no one with standing to sue you.

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) at June 28, 2013 05:27 PM (/PCJa)

646 Texas has something like that, but the devil is in the details of those other sections.

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) at June 28, 2013 05:25 PM (/PCJa)



Sorry, I didn't want to cut and paste the wall of text.

Here's a link to all those statutes.

http://floridastandyourground.org

In a sane world, he should be golden.

Posted by: BCochran1981 - Credible Hulk at June 28, 2013 05:27 PM (GEICT)

647 A person who uses force as permitted in s. 776.012, s. 776.013, or s. 776.031 is justified in using such force and is immune from criminal prosecution and civil action for the use of such force,

***

In Florida, we needn't wait for someone to enter our home to shot them. If they are attempting to gain entry, you can shoot-to-stop as it is assumed that they are not breaking in for any good purpose.

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at June 28, 2013 05:27 PM (jjvz+)

648 Drew haz nood.

Posted by: AZ Hi Desert (All my Hate cannot be found) at June 28, 2013 05:28 PM (cyKNf)

649 In a sane world...

You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.

Posted by: Inigo Montoya at June 28, 2013 05:28 PM (/PCJa)

650
Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) at June 28, 2013 05:25 PM (/PCJa

Thanks to some funkiness in MO, various types of immunity let you stop a case here long before it hits the jury stage, iirc.
We've had...uh weirdness before with weaponized law that's still being fixed throughout the MO state laws.

Posted by: tsrblke (tablet) at June 28, 2013 05:28 PM (GaqMa)

651
Missouri's Castle Doctrine protects justified shooters from civil suits.

Posted by: fixerupper at June 28, 2013 05:29 PM (IrLKP)

652 In Florida, we needn't wait for someone to enter our
home to shot them. If they are attempting to gain entry, you can
shoot-to-stop as it is assumed that they are not breaking in for any
good purpose.

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at June 28, 2013 05:27 PM (jjvz+)



So the Joe Biden law is in effect there?

Posted by: DangerGirl (screw you NSA) at June 28, 2013 05:29 PM (GrtrJ)

653
635 -

I think they do, yes. Riots are the exclusive domain of the left these days, and for the most part always have been.

I think they believe the right will not rise up against their tactics because history shows that we haven't, and until we do they won't believe it.

Posted by: BurtTC at June 28, 2013 05:29 PM (TOk1P)

654
Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at June 28, 2013 05:27 PM (jjvz+)
MO's new hyper powered castle law only required either a) unlawful entry or attempted entry or commission of a felony. Nice improvements.

Posted by: tsrblke (tablet) at June 28, 2013 05:31 PM (GaqMa)

655 You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.
Posted by: Inigo Montoya at June 28, 2013 05:28 PM (/PCJa)



No shit. Florida's Stand Your Ground states that you may you use force, up to and including deadly force, if "(1) He or she reasonably believes that such force is necessary to prevent imminent death or great bodily harm to himself"

TM on top and "raining down blows" is kind of the fucking definition of great bodily harm.

Posted by: BCochran1981 - Credible Hulk at June 28, 2013 05:31 PM (GEICT)

656 Always good to have confirmation that you're doing it right...
Is there a wrong way?
Posted by: the Charlie Faniels of the torque wrench at June 28, 2013 04:38 PM (xcRII)


lol - my comment was the sarc

I guess you could say, if you're not screaming insert here! than, yeah, you're missing something.

Posted by: artisanal 'ette at June 28, 2013 05:33 PM (XYSwB)

657 "Everybody has a different shaped head"...now that's some goddamn dynamic redirect, Counselor.... By the way, are you a government employee?

Posted by: MoeRon at June 28, 2013 05:36 PM (Drdfh)

658 BDLR raising his voice at his own witness again.

Posted by: lowandslow at June 28, 2013 05:36 PM (Fz2C7)

659
Heh,
Defense needs to ask about what "subclinical" is and if subclinical stuff is sometimes life threatening (it can be)
End case.

Posted by: tsrblke (tablet) at June 28, 2013 05:39 PM (GaqMa)

660
Jebeejus! This is direct of your witness, mr. DA - not argument.

Posted by: waldo at June 28, 2013 05:40 PM (RZwdH)

661 O'Mara! Go for a re-cross. Show the bloody photos yet again!

Posted by: toby928© at June 28, 2013 05:42 PM (codCi)

662 As someone already pointed out, the shooting happened after his gun was exposed, TM grabbed for it, and GZ believed TM was going to shoot him.

Shoot or Be Shot...

Posted by: waldo at June 28, 2013 05:46 PM (RZwdH)

663 BDLR goes for a cheap lawyer trick with the gunshot question, get's burned.
O'Mara uses similar cheap lawyer trick and scores big.

Think the Prosecutors team is getting shitfaced tonight?

Posted by: lowandslow at June 28, 2013 05:48 PM (Fz2C7)

664
Hey,is Ace still looking for me?

Posted by: Ace's Vagina at June 28, 2013 05:48 PM (RZwdH)

665

The twits are all shocked that GZ saw a psychologist. Not a new revelation.

Posted by: Ace's Vagina at June 28, 2013 05:49 PM (RZwdH)

666 This trial is something even Kafka could not imagine.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at June 28, 2013 05:55 PM (dV6An)

667 I know there is a new thread and it's unlikely this will get seen but this is a solid little essay in keeping with the idea of 'finding' the vagina

http://sexpectations89.wordpress.com/2013/06/10/pussy-power/

Posted by: Ragamuffin at June 28, 2013 05:58 PM (fzFF6)

668 You'll excuse me, gentlemen, but I've got to get busy on my new project, "SuckMe FunTime."

The downloadable app will feature a cuddly cartoon penis -- Mister Wiggles -- and is designed to help women overcome the cultural stigma of sucking my cock:

"Sucking my cock, in every way, is not a sin. Mister Wiggles is on a mission: To come in your mouth. And also, yeah, free the world from a silly social stigma. Whatever, just suck me."

Once I'm finished with that, I'll immediately start work on the "Now Shut Up and Get Me a Beer" app.

Posted by: Creepy Ass McCracker at June 28, 2013 06:19 PM (wzBNt)

669 Can You Spot the Typo on This College Diploma?
http://tinyurl.com/ouauyzv
This is a lot of fun. Sent this around yesterday and people were shocked that they didn't see the typo.

And then it leads to talk of the doubling of interest rates for loans for college and the lack of jobs when you finish your mufti thousand dollar degree and how 6 months after you graduate, whether you have a job or not, you are expected to start paying back those loans. Which leads to people immediately heading to graduate or professional school thinking that incurring more debt, now coming possibly with new higher interest rates, will make them more marketable and they'll be able to get a job, so, that 6 months after they graduate they can start paying off all those student loans. From here it looks like we are going to have a lot of unemployed PHD's running around.

Posted by: caustic at June 28, 2013 06:40 PM (/b8+5)

670
Navel Academy?

Posted by: The Atom Bomb of Loving Kindness at June 28, 2013 08:35 PM (jqHOY)

671 Ahem, we've got an App for that.

Posted by: Men at June 28, 2013 08:55 PM (BmWNr)

672 Will this help Charles to find his vagina, and the sand?

Posted by: Killgore Troudt at June 28, 2013 09:16 PM (RUiVB)

673
the app is designed to teach women that snicking their snootch feelz good, because apparently that's a Big Secret That Society Is Hiding From You

I thought girls figured that out pretty quickly, like well before their teen years. It is one of those secrets that everyone knows, isn't it?

Posted by: I R A Darth Aggie ® at June 29, 2013 12:04 PM (1hM1d)

674 What woman needs an app when any 16 year old boy is more than willing to help them find what they're looking for with the app?

Posted by: Skeptical Voter at June 29, 2013 07:51 PM (RZP0w)






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