The Master Review -- Wait for Netflix, Make Sure You Get HD

The Master is about tremendously interesting subject matter, I think. But the film itself is very banal.

It is gorgeous, though. It's so gorgeous that 40 minutes in I looked it up to see if it had won the Oscar for cinematography. It hadn't. In fact, it hadn't even been nominated.

I wonder why. My initial guesses were that I, as a novice, was over-impressed by post-productions tricks being used like oversaturation of color. That's when (this is a total non-expert telling you this from memory, so don't quote me) you use computer software in post to increase the density of color bits in each frame of the film, so it winds up looking richly colorful, as if each shot was a staged shot for a fashion magazine. Miller's Crossing had that kind of rich, supersaturated look, for example.

Maybe experts think this is no big deal, something easily accomplished, and therefore something not worthy of an award?

Another idea I had was this: I think union rules require a separate position for Director of Photography, and specifically state that the Director must not operate his own camera. Maybe there's some Secret Information not widely shared that Philip Thomas Anderson either breaks this rule or hires young and inexperienced DPs so he can just boss 'em around and essentially be DP? So the Academy avoids giving his films an Oscar for cinematography, because they know the person they'd be giving the award to is just a stand-in for the director?*

Well, I don't know. But to this non-expert's eyes the photography here was just terrific. Particularly when he's got a camera on a boat or looking at a boat, the pictures are beautiful. If anyone expert in photographic matters can solve the Mystery of Why the Academy Doesn't Seem To Think This Was a Gorgeous Picture, please let me know.

Apart from the photography and lighting and set design and costuming (it's set in 1950) -- all that stuff involving technicians and craft, which is all well done and looks like it cost a bunch of money -- this movie just isn't very interesting at all.

Here is my exact thought process while watching it:

First ten minutes: Wow, this movie looks great and really seems like a serious and important movie. I'm glad I rented this. I kind of feel like an Intellectual just sitting here watching this.

Minutes 10-30: Is the director trying to make fundamentally interesting subject matter less interesting than it seems it should be? Am I too stupid to grasp some subtle (probably European) aesthetic he's chasing? Is there a Banality of Evil message here?

This is also when a bit of boredom set in and I began wondering if it had won Best Cinematography, and then began wondering why it hadn't.

It's a bad sign for a movie when the viewer -- even an admiring viewer, as I was initially -- is thinking about things about the movie's technical aspects and isn't actually engaged with the material.

Minutes 30-120: Well, this movie is a failure, but it's an Interesting Failure,, a Worthy Failure, and while I don't actually like it, I'm going to half-recommend it to cineastes on the basis that it tried something that ought to be tried. Even a failed experiment, after all, produces important results. Even a failed experiment tells us something.

Last Seven Minutes: You're kidding me-- that's it? Okay now I'm not recommending this movie at all. I'm actually now sort of pissed off that my time was wasted for two hours and seven minutes.

More thoughts below.

Here's the trailer. This will look better on a good HD tv than it does on your computer.

In case you didn't know or have forgotten, The Master is a fictionalized recounting of the story of L. Ron Hubbard -- hack science fiction writer, dreamer of dreams, founder of his own cult religion, Scientology. The story told here is about a severely disturbed alcoholic sociopath with very low impulse control -- "Freddie Quell," played by Joachim Phoenix, a bit over-the-toppishly and mumble-rumble, like he decided "This will be my Slingblade" -- who flees an accidental poisoning he caused. See, he's not merely an alcoholic; he mixes his own "potions" with various dangerous chemicals he steals from hospitals and, I think, wood alcohol as well.

He also drinks gasoline or missile fuel, if given the opportunity. I suppose he's a huffer, then, except his prefers his dangerous huffed chemicals in liquid form.

Why does he do this? Well, from the first minutes we seem him he's just bugfuck crazy. He's like one of those drifters you read about in the beginning of some grotesque True Crime story. From the first moments you see him you know something's wrong and Something Bad is Going to Happen.

I will spoil something for you now: Not a lot bad actually does happen. Some. A little. A touch. But not a lot. I really think this movie needs more lurid juice, more blood, more of a heartbeat, more something, more anything, and around an hour in I began hoping for a murder, just so something would be going on. That doesn't happen.

Fleeing the poisoning, he sneaks aboard a luxury cruise ship departing from San Fransisco. (Interesting trivia: I just discovered this ship was played by FDR's "Presidential Boat.") When he awakes the next morning, he is politely welcomed by the ship's "Master," Lancaster Dodd (Phillip Seymore Hoffman), who humbly introduces himself as "a writer, a doctor, a nuclear physicist, a theoretical philosopher, but above all a Man, just like you."

At this point comes the First Hard-to-Swallow Premise you're going to just have to accept. For some reason, Lancaster Dodd takes an immediate liking to this psychopathic, uneducated, bizarre drifter. And a very strong liking, too; for the rest of the movie Freddie Quell will become his student/patient/protoge/handyman and all-around Bosom Companion, for no terribly good reason. You know the writer realizes he doesn't have a Good Reason for something when he offers you three reasons instead of one-- it's multiple choice. Pick the one you find the most plausible:

1. For some reason, since this psychopathic drifter appeared on the boat, Lancaster has felt the cloud of Writer's Block drift out of his mind, and is suddenly more productive in writing his next book.

2. Lancaster really likes Freddie's poisonous "potions."

3. Lancaster believes that he knows -- really knows -- Freddie from the past, and is trying to figure out from where and when. Given that we'll soon find out that Lancaster believes human spirits are over a trillion years old and has lived many lifetimes on many planets, narrowing down where he knows Freddie from is going to be a little more difficult than it usually is.

I'll spoil something and let you know the real answer is 3., and the other two are just offered to you early because the writer figures you won't buy 3. standing on its own, at least at this part of the movie. You also won't buy it at the end of the movie, either, so Phillip Thomas Anderson suggests, I think, that it's really a powerful suppressed homosexual longing between two men who are otherwise heterosexual? I think that's what he's suggesting? Maybe? Possibly?

But it's an odd sort of homosexuality, if it is that, because both men are randily heterosexual otherwise, like real horny buggers that do what horny heterosexual men do, pick up girls and fall desperately in love with them and cheat on their wives, so I don't even know what's going on.

I honestly don't know. I have no idea what's going on with the movie's Main Mystery.

And this is even more of a problem because -- should this be the movie's Main Mystery? Think about all the stuff going on here that's interesting. A cult. A cult which is furthermore a shifty one, in trouble with the law for lifting money from dupes. Questions about people's need to believe, believe in anything, no matter how crazy; questions about how a charlatan goes about exploiting that need, how he detects it, how he cultivates it, how he sets himself up to fill the voids inside people. Questions about politics inside the cult: How does it work? The Master is the Master, of course, but his position can be challenged, can't it?

And do those at the top of the cult believe this horseshit? That is, are they so convincing in making their daft claims because of the Costanza Principle -- "it's not a lie if you believe it's true"?

We don't get much of that stuff, which to my mind was the whole reason for buying the ticket. The thought that went through my head is that "This movie is written in the Passive Voice." The passive voice is scorned by 2nd grade teachers because 2nd grade students rely on it to obscure what they don't know -- a 2nd grade student will write "The Emancipation Proclamation became law" to obscure the fact that he doesn't know who passes a law or how it's done. He just blurs over this with the obscurant "became."

"This happened. I don't know why. It just did."

So many questions here are not only not answered but are hardly even asked by arranging the script so that the most interesting and revealing parts of this story aren't filmed at all. Whenever they want to go Passive Voice about these things, they force the perspective from Freddie's POV, who's not really in the inner circle and so doesn't see the workings of all this, and is also too dull (and drunk, and deranged) to ask questions himself.

So what is the movie about then? Well it's about the most singularly uninteresting aspect of all this: "What makes Freddie (the dull-witted perpetually stoned paint-huffing sociopath) tick, and can we fix him?" It's like a serious psychiatric drama about Charlie from It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia.

I think I'm biased here but it's my non-expert opinion that sociopaths are rather dull, actually -- they're all quite similar, or at least they break down easily into six or eight broad patterns of dysfunction. Movies portray sociopaths as more interesting than the Average Person; in fact, the Average Person is far more interesting and complex in his thinking.

Additionally, the many scenes of "processing" (this is the movie's substitution-word for Sociology's "auditing") this rambunctious missile-fuel-drinker are very same-old same-old. The techniques Lancaster uses on Freddie are not novel; it's mostly the Talking Cure (talking about your problems) and Confrontation Therapy (having your triggers put right into your face, to desensitize you to them). These are very stock psychiatric responses -- it's not new or insightful so that we think Wow, Lancaster may be crazy but he's got some insights into how humans work; now I can see how otherwise-sane people believe his insane claims

But nor is is crazy such as to be interesting, so that we think Wow, Lancaster Dodd is really a nut, this is wild! How could anyone believe this nonsense!?

There are two ways these Psychiatry Scenes could have been compelling and Philip Thomas Anderson chooses neither of them. Instead he offers us Been There, Done That talking cure stuff that we've seen a thousand times before.

Well, that's about it. That's what the movie is. You have the stuff I've described, some others in the cult expressing concerns about Freddie, a short bit of legal difficulty, and Freddie pining for an underage girl he's in love with.

Then Lancaster oddly Talk-Sings the lyrics of "Slow Boat to China" (a love song, I think) to Freddie and they have some kind of weird possibly-gay-but-chastely-so spirit bonding and the movie ends. Well, before it really ends Freddie picks up an English BBW barmaid and porks her so maybe they're not gay and maybe I've missed the whole point.

I don't know.

I really don't know.

Really good photography, though.

* On DPs & Directors: Andy Levy says there's no guild rule per se against a director acting as his own DP. Though JustKarl says that a director has to join the DP union if he wants to do so.

So I guess I'm wondering if other DPs won't vote for a director who acts as DP (or who essentially bosses around a young DP so that the young DP really has little creative contribution to the film). Like, maybe DPs don't want to honor someone who's not himself primarily and firstly a DP. DP's would naturally want to honor other DPs, not directors.

The Master's DP does have credits but he does also seem young, based on his resume.

Posted by: Ace at 03:35 PM



Comments

1 Interesting that you mention a reason for not getting the Oscar nod as the overly post-produced images. The film that won the Oscar for Cinematography was Life of Pi, which was filmed about 85% in front of a green screen with digital skies.

Posted by: The B-Rock at March 02, 2013 03:38 PM (n5uKe)

2 Maybe it didn't get any Oscars because, you know...blasphemy against Scientology?

Posted by: wheatie at March 02, 2013 03:41 PM (QPnFm)

3 you should watch "Nobody Else But You" on Netflix--to practice yo French


a good movie, though. Clever; lots of Marilyn references

Posted by: Jaquizz Julio N'Domekan Wazoo at March 02, 2013 03:42 PM (Dll6b)

4 Where's the rest of the review?

Posted by: kbdabear at March 02, 2013 03:43 PM (mCvL4)

5 >>>you should watch "Nobody Else But You" on Netflix--to practice yo French

i did before you first recommended it

It was... I didn't like it. Goofy.

My French is not advanced to the point where I can really follow a movie in French. I pick up a word here or there or very brief sentences like "J'ecoute."

Posted by: ace at March 02, 2013 03:43 PM (LCRYB)

6 Damn Ace. I watched this last night. Didn't like it. Spent 2 hours waiting for it to get better/make sense. The only redeeming scene was when "the master" was singing some silly song at a party and all of a sudden all the women were naked and wearing obvious rugs.........wth was THAT about??
I could have been reading a book............

Posted by: 4TZNh at March 02, 2013 03:44 PM (4TZNh)

7 Ace - I haven't read your review. But here's mine and much shorter.

It sucked.

The wife and I walked out after an hour or so.. in the naked dancing ladies scene..

I will give you that the acting was superb.. the scenery gorgeous at times (but a lot more seldom than those touting the cinematography). But it sucked donkey schlong as far as a story goes.. And I never once got interested in any of the characters, besides the good acting.

Morons/ettes - don't waste two hours of your life on this thing.

Posted by: Chi-Town Jerry at March 02, 2013 03:44 PM (UTq/I)

8
Thanks for the review, Ace.

I think I'll wait till it's on the premium channels, though.

Although, it might not ever be.
I've noticed that some movies don't seem to ever get shown on the premium channels...like 'Act of Valor' and 'Atlas Shrugged - Part 1'.

Posted by: wheatie at March 02, 2013 03:45 PM (QPnFm)

9 There are still at least a dozen people using a variant of the 'e-meter' to 'promote wellness' in various locations in California


It's illegal to import this machine into the USA or Canada and no insurance company will pay for 'treatment', but these scam-boys and girls are taking advantage of lots of people. As long as they don't claim to cure an illness, they fly under the radar


if you know anyone who is being sucked into Scientology........INTERVENE


now; immediately

Posted by: Jerry Jack in Jacksonville at March 02, 2013 03:46 PM (Dll6b)

10 If a film is a great film, you should notice nothing else except that it is a great film.

Technical consideration and or admiration come on subsequent viewings.

Posted by: General Woundwort at March 02, 2013 03:47 PM (zOP5o)

11 So, Ace, what you are saying is the movie was pretentious?

What was it about? Oh, sorry, below the fold.
OK
Thanks, not my type of stuff. 'preciate it.

Posted by: Skandia Recluse at March 02, 2013 03:48 PM (AJHAt)

12 >>>Technical consideration and or admiration come on subsequent viewings.

Indeed. One of my rules is that if people are talking about how great the Acting was, the movie must not have worked.

If you really were absorbed in the story you shouldn't have noticed the Acting. If you noticed it, you were viewing it as a technical exercise, and the film failed in its mission to make you just believe in the world it presented.

Posted by: ace at March 02, 2013 03:48 PM (LCRYB)

13 Did this win any awards at all?

Could it be that it got snubbed because they didn't want to piss off the scientologists in Hollywood.

Posted by: buzzion at March 02, 2013 03:49 PM (GULKT)

14 >>>Could it be that it got snubbed because they didn't want to piss off the scientologists in Hollywood.

Having seen the movie now I don't think we need this rationale. The film doesn't work.

Posted by: ace at March 02, 2013 03:50 PM (LCRYB)

15 A cult. A cult which is furthermore a shifty one, in trouble with the law for lifting money from dupes. Questions about people's need to believe, believe in anything, no matter how crazy; questions about how a charlatan goes about exploiting that need, how he detects it, how he cultivates it, how he sets himself up to fill the voids inside people.
__________
So it's about the 2008 election?

Posted by: Dante at March 02, 2013 03:50 PM (0m62M)

16 Amy Adams was up for best supporting actress, but she did not get it. Nor should she have. I didn't think the part was worth a mention,. much less an Oscar nomination.

Posted by: Chi-Town Jerry at March 02, 2013 03:51 PM (UTq/I)

17
I got bored halfway through your review and started wondering if this Lancaster "Master" guy is L. Ron?

If anyone finished the review, maybe they could fill me in.

Posted by: Hamilton Burger at March 02, 2013 03:51 PM (rych5)

18 I thought it was good movie in showing what a complete load of bat shit crazy crap Scientology is. And truth is the real Scientology and Hubbard are not much removed from that movie.

To me it was watching a very slow train wreck.

Posted by: Evil Blogger Lady at March 02, 2013 03:51 PM (XkmMw)

19 Are you Clear?

Posted by: Dr. Varno at March 02, 2013 03:51 PM (wf7zD)

20 If anyone finished the review, maybe they could fill me in.

You beat me to it.

Yawner city baby.

Posted by: eleven at March 02, 2013 03:53 PM (fsLdt)

21 >>>I thought it was good movie in showing what a complete load of bat shit
crazy crap Scientology is. And truth is the real Scientology and
Hubbard are not much removed from that movie.

I assumed this from the start, though. I don't think you should give it points for noting that something which is obviously true is obviously true.

Gotta be more to it than that, I'd hope!

Posted by: ace at March 02, 2013 03:53 PM (LCRYB)

22 I can't read this. I am paralyzed with fear. Outside the sequester plagues the land. It had come like a thief in the night. And one by one dropped the voters in the blood-bedewed halls of their republic, and died each in the despairing posture of his fall. And the life of the ebony debt clock went out with that of the last of the gay. And the flames of the tripods expired. And Darkness and Decay and the Red Ink Death held illimitable dominion over all.

Posted by: Suffering under sequester at March 02, 2013 03:54 PM (Lxw+T)

23
14 >>>Could it be that it got snubbed because they didn't want to piss off the scientologists in Hollywood.

Having seen the movie now I don't think we need this rationale. The film doesn't work.

Posted by: ace at March 02, 2013 03:50 PM (LCRYB)

---------

Thing is, though...movies that 'don't work' get Oscars sometimes.
If they are about something that The Academy likes, it will be more inclined to overlook the flaws.

Posted by: wheatie at March 02, 2013 03:54 PM (QPnFm)

24
I am watching "Taken" right now, and Liam Neeson is about to kill a bunch of filthy Albanians that are into white slavery and such.

But it's all a movie, and not real. But on repeated viewings, I wait for the violence to get a small vicarious thrill.

Because it would be nice to kick the ass of the real scumbags in the world. So I have to settle for a movie.

Posted by: Reader C.J. Burch at the Ides of/ at March 02, 2013 03:55 PM (Md8Uo)

25 Ace, we were talking about low budget movies yesterday on twitter. I talked to my special effects buddy about the when, why, how of CGI on budgets.

Posted by: BCochran1981 - Credible Hulk at March 02, 2013 03:55 PM (GEICT)

26 PREview .....yawner

Not REview.

I'm only here for the reviews.

Posted by: eleven at March 02, 2013 03:56 PM (fsLdt)

27 What planet was Hubbard from?

Posted by: BignJames at March 02, 2013 03:56 PM (j7iSn)

28 That settles it.

I'll save the two hours for something else.

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at March 02, 2013 03:57 PM (piMMO)

29 my internet access is slower than normal--but what's 'normal' in this new, terrifying world?


My back hurts; my feet smell; my hair is dirty and my ears have waxy build-up


the
day is new, but seems long; I wait anxiously, listening for footsteps
on the stairs outside. It's very quiet, except for the noise of
lawnmowers.


and you want me to watch movies???????

Posted by: living precariously in the Sequester World at March 02, 2013 03:57 PM (Dll6b)

30 What planet was Hubbard from?

The one where suckers are born every minute.

Posted by: eleven at March 02, 2013 03:58 PM (fsLdt)

31 Paul Thomas Andersen?

Posted by: Greg at March 02, 2013 03:59 PM (Qha2Y)

32
Hubbard was from the same planet that all the other conniving assholes that I've ever known came from.

This one.

Posted by: Reader C.J. Burch at the Ides of/ at March 02, 2013 03:59 PM (Md8Uo)

33 "I will spoil something for you now: Not a lot bad actually does happen.
Some. A little. A touch. But not a lot. I really think this movie
needs more lurid juice, more blood, more of a heartbeat, more something, more anything, and around an hour in I began hoping for a murder, just so something would be going on. That doesn't happen."

L. Ron Manson sounds like a better bet.

Posted by: mrp at March 02, 2013 03:59 PM (HjPtV)

34 Thanks for the clear-spoken review. You saved me an evening of boredom.

I've seen a lot of reviewers touting this movie as wonderful, but they never say exactly what it's about.

Which is usually a pretty good sign- that the movie pretty much sucks as storytelling and will be boring. Still, they said it was wonderful....

And, yeah they always mention how beautiful the movie looks.


Posted by: naturalfake at March 02, 2013 03:59 PM (G9qZk)

35
And Liam Neeson just electrocuted the scummy Albania that kidnapped his daughter.

Retribution and doom. Those were always underlying premises in fiction, so I was told way back when.

Posted by: Reader C.J. Burch at the Ides of/ at March 02, 2013 04:00 PM (Md8Uo)

36 >>Ace, we were talking about low budget movies yesterday on twitter. I
talked to my special effects buddy about the when, why, how of CGI on
budgets.

post it here?

Posted by: ace at March 02, 2013 04:00 PM (LCRYB)

37 Was there anything in the movie about Hubbard's failed Navy career? For those who don't know, he was given command of a sub-chaser during WWII. In one incident he spent two days chasing and depth-charging IJN subs that weren't there. In another, he shelled South Coronado Island, a Mexican possession, from Mexican waters, resulting in an international incident and effectively ending his career.

In short, an incompetent assclown.

Posted by: ol_dirty_/b/tard at March 02, 2013 04:02 PM (qYKBf)

38 I thought this was going to be a sequel to Battlefield Earth. What a letdown. Not one alien with tubes in his head.

Posted by: Suffering under sequester at March 02, 2013 04:04 PM (Lxw+T)

39 That's kind of disappointing in light of the fact that the founding of scientology is bizarre and interesting enough on it's own. I'm not sure why PT Anderson wasted his time with this story.

There an over the top weird story about Hubbard just before he started the cult. He had been dated this girl who had been dating one of the founders of JPL, Jack Parsons. Parsons was involved with a Gnositic cult formed by Aleister Crowely in the early 1900's called Ordo Templi Orientis.

"One of Parsons' best pals in the OTO was a young L. Ron Hubbard. They shared a zest for the work, as well as a mistress. One of their big projects was the notorious Babalon Working. The ritual was supposedly intended to create a new age of free love by shattering the confines of four-dimensional space time, but the major portion of it appears to have been primarily focused on getting Parsons laid.

The first stage of Babalon involved invoking an "elemental mate" — which, fortuitously enough for Parsons, turned out to be a voluptuous redhead named Marjorie Cameron, who would later emerge as a star of occult-oriented films by experimental filmmaker Kenneth Anger.

Flush with the thrill of success, Parsons and Cameron set out to perform part two of the Babalon working, with Hubbard taking notes: Wild monkey sex with the goal of creating a "moonchild." A moonchild in this context is best described as an Thelemic messiah, a magic homonculus monster child along the general lines of "Rosemary's Baby."

Phase Two collapsed on itself when Hubbard left town with a mistress and (allegedly) a substantial sum of money, both of which had previously been attached to Parsons. So if you're angrily wondering why the Earth isn't currently sex-soaked carnal paradise of peace, you can blame Hubbard. "

Now *that* would have been a fucking movie.

Posted by: weft cut-loop at March 02, 2013 04:05 PM (Ipj15)

40
Hubbard an incompetent assclown and discharged from the Navy?

Ah, those were the days when people knew shit from shinola. Today he would have been promoted if he was the right ethnic persuasion or sexual preference.

The Crazy Years. You're soaking in it!

Posted by: Reader C.J. Burch at the Ides of/ at March 02, 2013 04:05 PM (Md8Uo)

41 I have a thing; I like watching movies with great cinematography. Even if the movie isn't that great, I can really enjoy it.

For example, I actually really liked Seraphim Falls, partly because of the great shots. (The ending was pretty stupid, unfortunately.)

It's also one of the reason Blade Runner is my favorite movie of all time.

Posted by: A-Hole at March 02, 2013 04:06 PM (Sl2On)

42 >>>Was there anything in the movie about Hubbard's failed Navy career? For
those who don't know, he was given command of a sub-chaser during WWII.
In one incident he spent two days chasing and depth-charging IJN subs
that weren't there. In another, he shelled South Coronado Island, a
Mexican possession, from Mexican waters, resulting in an international
incident and effectively ending his career.

no. They backdoor the idea of the Navy into the script by having the Joachim Phoenix character be a Navy veteran, and also I guess having Lancaster first appear on a ship, as its "Master." But they do not give much backstory at all on Lancaster-- the only thing we know is that he claims to be a "doctor" and "nuclear physicist" and has multiple ex-wives.

all the backstory in the movie is about the dull sociopath Freddie Quell.

Posted by: ace at March 02, 2013 04:06 PM (LCRYB)

43 Here it is Ace. A quick facebook convo, so ignore the typos and such.



"It's just like anything else. Bad stuff is cheap but the best stuff takes 100's of people working for months. Certain things would be cheaper if it was shot correctly but sometimes dumb things like trees need to be added in and it's a waste of money. If you we're going to try and make an animatronic King Kong that looks lime the cgi version than yeah, visual effects are cheaper, for the most part cgi is used because it could not be shot. There's a long winded answer."


To give you an idea of his credentials: he's currently working on Percy Jackson 2: Sea of Monsters. He's worked on The Amazing Spiderman, The Green Lantern, Knight & Day, Cabin in the Woods and a bunch of other stuff.

Posted by: BCochran1981 - Credible Hulk at March 02, 2013 04:06 PM (GEICT)

44 i did before you first recommended it

It was... I didn't like it. Goofy.


C'est dommage. Whoever wrote the script uses the language very cleverly; lots of puns. Most of the Marilyn references are plays on words


( the French love puns )

Posted by: living precariously in the Sequester World at March 02, 2013 04:08 PM (Dll6b)

45 For example, I actually really liked Seraphim Falls, partly because of the great shots. (The ending was pretty stupid, unfortunately.)

I was wondering if anybody else saw that but me.

Posted by: eleven at March 02, 2013 04:09 PM (fsLdt)

46 Ace,

For the sake of comparison, what did you think of There Will Be Blood?

Posted by: alex® at March 02, 2013 04:10 PM (m9cpE)

47 a voluptuous redhead named Marjorie Cameron, who would later emerge as a star of occult-oriented films by experimental filmmaker Kenneth Anger.

Now that guy was one fucked up dude. Rent his stuff on Netflix for a real weird trip. Start with "Puce Moment," then "Scorpio Rising," and finally "Invocation of My Demon Brother" for the full freak out effect.

Posted by: Suffering under sequester at March 02, 2013 04:10 PM (Lxw+T)

48 I've been working a lot from home the past three weeks so I've been burning a hole in my netflix/amazon prime subscriptions.

The movie "Bone" - a bit of a Blackspoitation/Kung Fu mash-up - was surprisingly entertaining. Definitely worth the time. The story itself had a "Contact"-level What-the-Sheer-Hell ending, but the action and acting was good.

and I've been chomping through "Justified" episodes like there's no tomorrow. I'm going to name my next kid "Nick Searcy" ... provided my baby's momma lets me do that and my wife lets me live. I had that show *totally* pegged wrong.

.

Posted by: BumperStickerist at March 02, 2013 04:10 PM (9P+hO)

49 Serious question, Ace: what's the last movie you positively loved?

Every review you post is either a negative review, or at best a meh.

Posted by: Rocko at March 02, 2013 04:11 PM (Ys6PL)

50 @39

Well that's Hollywood for you, given the opportunity to tell a compelling and detail rich story, they tell a boring one.

It was all there but pftt!

Posted by: General Woundwort at March 02, 2013 04:11 PM (zOP5o)

51 weft-cut loop--

When I first heard of this movie, I posted it here (like a year ago) including a link to wikipedia explaining all this kookiness. My reaction was "WOW, THIS IS GOING TO BE AN INTERESTING MOVIE!!!"

I don't get how PTA missed the boat on all of this. It's not to "protect scientology," because the film makes it pretty plain that "Lancaster Dodd" is a fraud and a flake.


Posted by: ace at March 02, 2013 04:11 PM (LCRYB)

52
Ace, perhaps this is the movie maker's attempt to insult the audience in some small and mean way.

Freddie Quell is "us", the movie watcher, a small time sociopath. That could be how these people view the people that buy the tickets that make it possible for them to buy more shit and make more shittey movies.
So that's how they think "we" view the world, through the eyes of a dull witted sociopath like Freddie Quell.

Posted by: Reader C.J. Burch at the Ides of/ at March 02, 2013 04:12 PM (Md8Uo)

53 >>>Serious question, Ace: what's the last movie you positively loved?

dredd was the last really positive review.

Posted by: ace at March 02, 2013 04:12 PM (LCRYB)

54 dredd was the last really positive review.

Posted by: ace at March 02, 2013 04:12 PM (LCRYB)



And you were right. Wife and I watched it last weekend and it was good. Her comment was "really violent and bloody, but still very good."

Posted by: BCochran1981 - Credible Hulk at March 02, 2013 04:14 PM (GEICT)

55 Dredd was a good rec. Very muted and matter of fact, aside from the exploding heads.

Posted by: A-Hole at March 02, 2013 04:14 PM (Sl2On)

56 How can I access ace's old reviews? Because I remember John Carter being reviewed and I just saw it. I stopped when Jar Jar abducted Tim Riggins.

Posted by: USS Diversity at March 02, 2013 04:15 PM (2YyM9)

57 55 Dredd was a good rec. Very muted and matter of fact, aside from the exploding heads.
Posted by: A-Hole at March 02, 2013 04:14 PM (Sl2On)

Yup. I thought it was going to be a re-hash of The Raid: Redemption, a foreign flick that I thought was "meh". It was, but actually much better anyway. Glad ace rec'd it.

Posted by: alex® at March 02, 2013 04:16 PM (m9cpE)

58 RE: special effects

It's why I prefer to purchase rather than rent, and purchase the dvd. There is extra material on (most?) DVDs that include discussion and examples of the special effects work.

For me with movies that I really like, I find myself watching them many, many times and making a study of the craftsmanship of great movie making.

but then I have a lot of time on my hands, so there's that.

Posted by: Skandia Recluse at March 02, 2013 04:16 PM (AJHAt)

59
43.... he's currently working on Percy Jackson 2: Sea of Monsters.

They're making another Percy Jackson movie?
Cool.
I liked the first one.

What.
I like stuff like that.
Even if the author does put ancient mythology through a blender...he gets kids curious about the real ancient mythology.

And at least he didn't kill off any ancient mythological gods, like they did in 'Wrath of the Titans'.
Which was outrageously dumb, imo.

Posted by: wheatie at March 02, 2013 04:17 PM (QPnFm)

60 "How can I access ace's old reviews?"

What speed is your internet connection?

ba-dump-bump

TCHTCHING

Posted by: BumperStickerist at March 02, 2013 04:17 PM (9P+hO)

61 15 dante,

In the end isn't everything about 08?

Posted by: sven10077 at March 02, 2013 04:17 PM (LRFds)

62 @52

Because that's not the story that PTA wanted to tell.


Posted by: General Woundwort at March 02, 2013 04:18 PM (zOP5o)

63 He's the guy that wrote Diuretics, right?

Posted by: Dr. Varno at March 02, 2013 04:19 PM (wf7zD)

64 Posted by: wheatie at March 02, 2013 04:17 PM (QPnFm)



No worries. I read the Percy Jackson books a while back and I'm picking at the newer series here and there when I get the chance. Interesting stories. Well written. Yeah, it's targeted towards a younger audience, but I still enjoyed them.

Posted by: BCochran1981 - Credible Hulk at March 02, 2013 04:19 PM (GEICT)

65 He's the guy that wrote Diuretics, right?

Posted by: Dr. Varno at March 02, 2013 04:19 PM (wf7zD)

I dunno; puzzles the piss out of me.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at March 02, 2013 04:20 PM (673KB)

66 Maybe "The Master" is so boring because PTA is running away from what seems to be the central "mystery" of his own movie.

That is, how or why this individual gets sucked into a cult.

The TV show, "The Following" has this problem as well. i.e.. how do all of these psychopaths get drawn into a murder cult and what makes them follow this guy?

"The Following" started out weak because they simply started with the idea of a cult which seemed bug-fuck crazy to any normal viewer.

Later, on they tried to backfill in the cultists motive for joining with flashbacks-

So, we gather that the cult members are all broken people and eh, I forget the cult leader's name but he has a little chat with them where he assures them that they are indeed special little snowflakes and affirms their hatred and/or murder of someone.

And- alakazam!- they're in his murder cult and worship him.


If it's that easy to start a cult...I'm starting one tomorrow.


But these flashbacks take, what?, 2-3 minutes at the most-

is that the problem with "The Master"?

It's 2plus hours of Joaquin Phoenix learning and finally believing that he's a special little snowflake?

Posted by: naturalfake at March 02, 2013 04:20 PM (G9qZk)

67
My highschool theater teacher used to say the worst thing you could say about a play was "The set was great."
He said that meant you were so disinterested in it you started looking at the set as a form of entertainment.

That sounds much like what you described here.
That's sad (not you, the outcome of the movie). When I saw the preview and noticed the fictionalized story of Hubbard as the plot, I had high-ish hopes for this move (my high hopes for movies these days are "I will be entertained.")
So blah. I'll probably still waste 2 hours of my time, because...well...my time isn't that valuable.
Speaking of that, watching the updated "Total Recall" last night. It was pretty good. I felt like it was a bit on the nose. IMHO, by pushing the dreams stuff at the start of the movie they removed all doubt that this was real (unless there's some super subtlety I'm missing.)

Posted by: tsrblke at March 02, 2013 04:21 PM (GaqMa)

68 Sorry I'm late. Has someone commented on the length of the review yet.

Of course they have. BRB. Going to read it now. See y'all in about a week.

Posted by: Bozo the Clown at March 02, 2013 04:23 PM (B2fm1)

69
The idea of taking a really interesting story (however weird the premise, like Scientology and L. Ron Hubbard) and making a really compelling movie is something that might have been a serious consideration in the movie business 50 or 70 years ago.

Today, movie makers get production funds by some idiotic means by persuading the studios that they are brilliant, by telling them they are "just like them". The excercise of actually making movies involves a lot of vice, drugs and general whoring around. This happened in the old days too, but sometimes a good movie got made too because the big studios were actually owned by actual people that cared about what their name was on, even if Samuel Mayer or the others were also assholes in real life.

Movies are generally shitty and stupid these days because that is the coin of the realm, so to speak. There is no place for actual imagination in storytelling, because that is scary to the big companies, so they invest in predictable crap,

They actually hate themselves, hate what they are doing, and especially hate the marks that are buying the tickets.

Posted by: Reader C.J. Burch at the Ides of/ at March 02, 2013 04:23 PM (Md8Uo)

70 63 Doc Varno,

Yup, and the stunning sequel The Proctological Diaries coming this fall...er fail.

Posted by: sven10077 at March 02, 2013 04:23 PM (LRFds)

71
66...If it's that easy to start a cult...I'm starting one tomorrow.

It helps if you have the media on your side.
The media can help you punish the blasphemers.

Posted by: Barqy Al Clusterfuq at March 02, 2013 04:26 PM (QPnFm)

72 70 63 Doc Varno,

Yup, and the stunning sequel The Proctological Diaries coming this fall...er fail.

Posted by: sven10077 at March 02, 2013 04:23 PM (LRFds)

Sure to have 'em squirming in their seats!

Posted by: BignJames at March 02, 2013 04:26 PM (j7iSn)

73 I confess that being a remorseless egotist myself I was sort of looking for a How-To on Cult-Starting.

But seriously, that is a much more interesting question than "Will Freddie Quell succeed in controlling his bizarre rages."


Posted by: ace at March 02, 2013 04:27 PM (LCRYB)

74 Netflix and not boring:

Mesrine: Part 1: Killer Instinct
Stander

Posted by: alex® at March 02, 2013 04:27 PM (m9cpE)

75 27
What planet was Hubbard from?

Posted by: BignJames at March 02, 2013 03:56 PM

The one where the Jedi Mind-Meld was developed before they followed Dr Who to Earth

Posted by: Barry the Hut at March 02, 2013 04:28 PM (mCvL4)

76 The scenes showing the wake flowing out in the blue water behind the boat looked amazing. That's about the only good thing I can say about this movie.

Posted by: Mark1971 at March 02, 2013 04:30 PM (Vjplh)

77 >>>73 I confess that being a remorseless egotist myself I was sort of looking for a How-To on Cult-Starting.


The blog is a good start, Ace, but you're a little shaky on the monetization thing.

Posted by: Cicero, Semiautomatic Assault Commenter at March 02, 2013 04:30 PM (1qeyl)

78
69...Movies are generally shitty and stupid these days because that is the coin of the realm, so to speak. There is no place for actual imagination in storytelling, because that is scary to the big companies, so they invest in predictable crap,

----------

Let's call it what it is....inbreeding.
And cultish.

Hollywood has become an inbred cult....with subjects that are verbotten, and punishments for blaspheming any of their 'accepted ideas'.
And they still like to fancy themselves as edgy and cool.

Posted by: wheatie at March 02, 2013 04:31 PM (QPnFm)

79 Speaking of, Ace,

Did you see Sound of My Voice?

Looks interesting but, again, another self-indulgent, arty-farty, I'm Important flick.

Posted by: weft cut-loop at March 02, 2013 04:32 PM (Ipj15)

80 73 ace,

The Campy Clam Cult would sue the more interesting film in your mind into oblivion. I spent my early days online at usenet aiding a porn queen, a millionaire, and a hippie against a Troll named Confront23. Ah the 90s.

Posted by: sven10077 at March 02, 2013 04:32 PM (LRFds)

81 Fwiw several directors are also their own cinematographers and camera operators. Stephen Soderbergh, e.g. He is credited as "Peter Andrews" but it's him. I don't know if some goofy union rule drives this.

Posted by: major major major major at March 02, 2013 04:32 PM (utCAk)

82 >>>he scenes showing the wake flowing out in the blue water behind the boat
looked amazing. That's about the only good thing I can say about this
movie.

Yup. Also great was the boat, darkened by late sunset, its balconies lighted yellow by electric light, as it glides beneath the silhouette of the Golden Gate bridge.

But while those are the stunning shots all the shots are very nice. The color of the cabbage as he picks them, for example. Gorgeous color. Cabbage never looked so good.


Posted by: ace at March 02, 2013 04:33 PM (LCRYB)

83 77 cicero,

To do it right we need a freighter, a sea org, Operation Snow White, and to subvert Hollywood, and swarm a city or two.

Posted by: sven10077 at March 02, 2013 04:34 PM (LRFds)

84
I confess that being a remorseless egotist myself I was sort of looking for a How-To on Cult-Starting. {SNIP}

Posted by: ace at March 02, 2013 04:27 PM (LCRYB)




Says the man who runs a blog that we all flock to each day to get our daily opinion on things.

(Granted, most of us are here for the fight that occurs in the comments. Stamp that out and you'll get your cult.)

Posted by: tsrblke at March 02, 2013 04:34 PM (GaqMa)

85 >>>The blog is a good start, Ace, but you're a little shaky on the monetization thing.

but I can't get you morons to agree with me.

Posted by: ace at March 02, 2013 04:34 PM (LCRYB)

86 So if you have a black and white TV, it's a pass?

Posted by: Dr Spank at March 02, 2013 04:35 PM (4cRnj)

87
Gabriel Byrne taught me how to shave. No, not really. But it's the only thing I remember from Miller's Crossing. That and some sort of ultimatum.

*I know it wasn't Byrne talking about the razor; it was the other guy.

Posted by: Soothie at March 02, 2013 04:35 PM (lyMRg)

88 85 ace,

Neither could Elron....the key is to profit no matter what we do, not control what we do. You need control of 15-25%.

Posted by: sven10077 at March 02, 2013 04:36 PM (LRFds)

89 @82

So it would seem that PTA was more interested in the lighting and framing techniques of making pretty pictures than telling a good story.

Posted by: General Woundwort at March 02, 2013 04:36 PM (zOP5o)

90 49
Serious question, Ace: what's the last movie you positively loved?

Every review you post is either a negative review, or at best a meh.


Posted by: Rocko at March 02, 2013 04:11 PM (Ys6PL)

Have you been to see the talking pictures recently? Almost every one is at best "meh".
When the biggest movies are ones about sparkly vampires, you know the world is in a shiticane.

Posted by: Ashley Judd's Puffy Scamper, formerly MrCaniac at March 02, 2013 04:37 PM (Zd/NW)

91 84 tsrbike,

The fights are fixed, and I'm CG.

Posted by: sven10077 at March 02, 2013 04:38 PM (LRFds)

92 >>>So if you have a black and white TV, it's a pass?

it's a pass if you have anything less than an HD tv and HD signal (Blue Ray, or the HD PPV).

The only noteworthy thing is the color and lighting and photography.

I wouldn't even say the acting is special.

One thing about the acting: Joachim does several full-speed tussles with real wrestling and real slapping. Not fake. Not a fistfight or anything, but there is a danger in having actors really slap and push and wrestle each other.

You do notice that it's real. So, if you like slap-fights and wrestling, that's something too.

Posted by: ace at March 02, 2013 04:38 PM (LCRYB)

93 but I can't get you morons to agree with me.
Posted by: ace at March 02, 2013 04:34 PM (LCRYB)
You are forgetting Ace, that every good cult starts with a purge of dissenting opinions.Here that'd be TB3K which you don't bring out enough to encourage cultism.

Posted by: tsrblke at March 02, 2013 04:38 PM (GaqMa)

94 but I can't get you morons to agree with me.
Posted by: ace at March 02, 2013 04:34 PM (LCRYB)



And yet, here we all are. Every day. And you have a sizeable core of constant and consistent commenters. Who even when pissed at you or in disagreement with you, never stop coming here.

...............................................

Dammit. I'm in a cult. I'm not shaving my head! I don't look good without hair. I'm not doing it.

Posted by: BCochran1981 - Credible Hulk at March 02, 2013 04:39 PM (GEICT)

95
Spanking of which, does Ace watch SHARK TANK?

This is a great show that conservatives should be supporting. For a hokey reality show, it is quite interesting and educational. Plus it sends a positive message for capitalism, entrepreneurism, personal growth, and profit -- precisely the opposite of what Obama does.

May I humbly suggest a thread-post on Friday Nights while the show is on? I think it would be a big hit here on the ol' Q.

Posted by: Soothie at March 02, 2013 04:40 PM (lyMRg)

96 Argo was pretty good except for all the "context". The reason it won best picture was all self-indulgence.

Posted by: Dr Spank at March 02, 2013 04:40 PM (4cRnj)

97 84 tsrbILke,

The fights are fixed, and I'm CG.Posted by: sven10077 at March 02, 2013 04:38 PM (LRFds)
Fixed it for you SvenIOO77 .But also: Damanble, I didn't know this was the Jerry Springer of blogs.

Posted by: tsrblke at March 02, 2013 04:41 PM (GaqMa)

98 94 bc1981,

It grows back in pretty quick.

My last cult had us paint ourselves as cheetos....it was pretty embarassing.

Posted by: sven10077 at March 02, 2013 04:41 PM (LRFds)

99 re: Ron Hubbard

Harlan Ellison mentioned Hubbard in the preface to his book "Angry Candy"

________________

"Ron Hubbard and Emily [Austin] went in January of '86. I hadn't seen Ron in decades, but we'd exchanged a few letters; and despite the loonytunes scene his Dianetics and Scientology had become, he was always still just Ron Hubbard, who'd written 'To the Stars' and 'Final Blackout' and 'Fear' and 'Typewriter in the Sky' and 'Slaves of Sleep', all of which great pulp fiction I can still reread with pleasure;

and he was not some sort of mysterious recluse with a worldwide following of dippy 'clears' who are so scared someone will let light into their cultish religion that they sue people who talk in their sleep, one supposes, rather than suffer any negative comment.

He was just Ron and I kinda liked him, mostly because he wrote well, and I never felt he took all that Scientology nonsense seriously but knew how to make a good buck, and he liked me, and... well, he was a friend who died."
_
... or did he?

Posted by: BumperStickerist at March 02, 2013 04:41 PM (9P+hO)

100
Gabriel Byrne taught me how to shave.


Talking Heads rule.

Posted by: USS Diversity at March 02, 2013 04:42 PM (hk+Jz)

101 97 bike,

Just don't tune in during sweeps.

Posted by: sven10077 at March 02, 2013 04:42 PM (LRFds)

102 I would join Ace's cult, but I'm not sure if I'm worthy. Perhaps there's a screening program where we could confess all our sins (for a fee, of course) and Ace could tell us whether we are worthy.

Those of us who qualify, the Selected Ones, could perhaps take a Life Mastership course from Ace. For a reasonable fee, of course.

Posted by: Flatbush Joe at March 02, 2013 04:43 PM (ZPrif)

103

Speaking of stunning photography and lighting....I miss 'Sunrise Earth'.

It was on DiscoveryHD, in the mornings.
A couple of hours of georgeous photography, showing a gradual sunrise, at some senic location.

No dialogue. Just silence, and the sounds of the world waking up.
No commercial breaks either.
Which is probably why they discontinued it.

Posted by: wheatie at March 02, 2013 04:43 PM (QPnFm)

104
Talking Heads rule.

Flag pole is erect.

Posted by: Soothie at March 02, 2013 04:43 PM (lyMRg)

105 I dunno. Mark Cuban is a bit of an ass, even though he comes across as almost likable on "Shark Tank".

Posted by: Reader C.J. Burch at the Ides of/ at March 02, 2013 04:44 PM (Md8Uo)

106
103...ack...*scenic location

Posted by: wheatie at March 02, 2013 04:44 PM (QPnFm)

107 The blog is a good start, Ace, but you're a little shaky on the monetization thing.

***

Speaking of monetizing....

When are we going to be able to buy AOS gear?

100% Certified Moron

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at March 02, 2013 04:44 PM (piMMO)

108 And Harlan Ellison? If you know anything about him, would he really be a good character reference?

Posted by: Reader C.J. Burch at the Ides of/ at March 02, 2013 04:46 PM (Md8Uo)

109
Dammit. I'm in a cult. I'm not shaving my head! I don't look good without hair. I'm not doing it.Posted by: BCochran1981 - Credible Hulk at March 02, 2013 04:39 PM (GEICT)
--------------
The whole world is carpeted, and someday, we'll do the cleaning.

Posted by: Mr. "Tania" Wilhelm at March 02, 2013 04:46 PM (hk+Jz)

110 One of the most visually striking movies I've ever seen is A.I. - about the kid robot. The story was good enough that it did not detract from the beauty of the photography.

Last night I saw "Identity Thief." Formulaic but servicable and entertaining comedy with Jason Bateman and the fat chick from Bridesmaids. I'll see anything with Bateman in it - he's probably the best comedy "straight man" ever. It's one of those Must Track Down The Criminal And Bring Him In To Right A Serious Wrong And Along The Journey They Have Mishaps And Learn About Life And Each Other.


So, like Midnight Run with a fat chick playing Charles Grodin. Worth the ticket price. Entertaining but wouldn't see again or buy on DVD.

Posted by: Empire of Jeff at March 02, 2013 04:46 PM (JDIKC)

111 Speaking of monetizing....

When are we going to be able to buy AOS gear?

100% Certified Moron
Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at March 02, 2013 04:44 PM (piMMO)
I'll only buy AoS gear if Ace promises to use the money to upgrade to the free version of Wordpress .

Posted by: tsrblke at March 02, 2013 04:46 PM (GaqMa)

112 The movie was an attempt to speak truth to power, the power being current Scientology. ?

Posted by: thunderb at March 02, 2013 04:46 PM (4Fzmd)

113 'Shark Tank' has been a good watch with my kids. It has the same effect as "Whale Wars" in that I use the show to teach life lessons.

In "Shark Tank" it's these:
1) Answer the question
2) Don't get cute
3) Know what you want
4) They're god-damn self-made multi-millionaires, chances are you will benefit more from the association than they will.
5) Every one of those panelists on 'Shark Tank' supported their parents in the parent's old age and would never shove them out on the street or condemn them to live out their lives lingering in an ObamaCare Death Motel.

-
so, it's a good conservative show.

Posted by: BumperStickerist at March 02, 2013 04:47 PM (9P+hO)

114 Friends of mine were raving about Shark Tank. GWP Obama voters.

Posted by: USS Diversity at March 02, 2013 04:48 PM (L4Wq2)

115 If we are a cult, we should have shirts. The guys get shirts!!!!!

Posted by: thunderb at March 02, 2013 04:49 PM (4Fzmd)

116
I also just saw "Identity Thief" (Thursday night, mostly empty theater), and the first part made me squirm a lot because the fat chick in it was a penultimate Obama - FSA retard.
You start to like her by the end of the movie, and Jason Bateman does a good job playing the straightman - schmuck. But
ho-hum

Posted by: Reader C.J. Burch at the Ides of/ at March 02, 2013 04:49 PM (Md8Uo)

117 I know a fair amount about Ellison. I don't see that as a character reference but more as a sizing-up Ron Hubbard accurately quote.

A person can be a complete douche in real life but have a gimlet eye when it comes to reading or situations in real life.
_

Posted by: BumperStickerist at March 02, 2013 04:49 PM (9P+hO)

118
Bumper, what about this one: Be prepared!

Anticipate the questions. And know your figures inside and out.

Posted by: Soothie at March 02, 2013 04:50 PM (lyMRg)

119 The key to starting any cult is a free food spread. You suck 'em in with free food then start spilling the crazy. Psychotropic drugs also help.

Posted by: Dr Spank at March 02, 2013 04:50 PM (4cRnj)

120 Posted by: Empire of Jeff at March 02, 2013 04:46 PM (JDIKC)


Identity Thief was adequate, but I wish I had waited for RedBox because it was not worth paying theater prices to see, but then what is?

Posted by: Hrothgar at March 02, 2013 04:51 PM (Cnqmv)

121 AI is quite possibly one of the most unrelentingly depressing films ever!


And I am already sick of Melissa McCarthy.


The "Jason Batemen" character is wearing thin as well.


Hyde Park on Hudson was ok though.



I think I shall eat peas this evening.

Posted by: General Woundwort at March 02, 2013 04:52 PM (zOP5o)

122 The key to starting any cult is a free food spread. You suck 'em in with free food then start spilling the crazy. Psychotropic drugs also help.
Posted by: Dr Spank at March 02, 2013 04:50 PM (4cRnj)
"Never get between a Teamster and Free Food."--Frank Underwood House of CardsSo it still works.

Posted by: tsrblke at March 02, 2013 04:52 PM (GaqMa)

123 Oh, sorry, below the fold.
That's what Lena Dunham said!

Posted by: FUPA at March 02, 2013 04:53 PM (ORGYc)

124
Another idea I had was this: I think union rules require a separate position for Director of Photography, and specifically state that the Director must not operate his own camera.






It's more common than you might think. For example, Steven Soderbergh is famous for being his own DP in all his films under the name Peter Andrews. From watching lots of DVD extras I suspect that James Cameron does the "hire a doormat as DP" thing all the time.

Robert Rodriguez is kind of a special case. He does damn near EVERYTHING on his films. Writing, directing, DP, editor, music, FX etc. He famously resigned from the DGA because he insisted on Frank Miller as codirector of Sin City against their wishes.

Actually, they REALLY get bent out of shape when the star or producer takes over directing duties for a fired director (it's okay if they're originally slated as director though). It's known as the "Clint Eastwood Rule" from the kerfuffle with Philip Kaufman on the set of Outlaw Josey Wales.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at March 02, 2013 04:53 PM (MBqvE)

125 Yeah, "Know Your Shit" is sort-of axiomatic. They've gotten pretty good at recognizing eloquent ignorance.

The flame-outs of "so, you're valuing your company at 6.5 million despite no sales last year" are entertaining.

My only scholastic rules for my kids are these:

1) You will write well
2) You will be competent at math

everything else is detail

Posted by: BumperStickerist at March 02, 2013 04:54 PM (9P+hO)

126 I'm still waiting for a gritty reboot of The Notebook.

Posted by: Empire of Jeff at March 02, 2013 04:54 PM (JDIKC)

127 I think I shall eat peas this evening.

Posted by: General Woundwort at March 02, 2013 04:52 PM (zOP5o)


Seriously, U guys!?!

Whirled them first ....

Posted by: Adriane ... at March 02, 2013 04:55 PM (TvO05)

128 My experience w/ scientology was hot, young girls as bait. Never took a "class" but they have managed to find me every time I'vemoved in the last 40 yrs. I take solace in the fact that it costs them a small fortune to mail me their BS.

Posted by: mark c at March 02, 2013 04:55 PM (hnhBR)

129 .. I'm watching "Incredible Crew" on Cartoon Network with my son.

Good sketch comedy. Good editing. Good writing. Good acting.

The kind of thing that Saturday Night Live doesn't have. They've strung together four really funny sketches in the past twenty minutes.

Which is more than SNL has done in four seasons.

Posted by: BumperStickerist at March 02, 2013 04:59 PM (9P+hO)

130 Were Scientologists the freaks putting rattlesnakes in dissenters mailboxes? Or am I confusing cults again?

Posted by: BignJames at March 02, 2013 04:59 PM (j7iSn)

131 If Mitt Romney started a cult it would be a cult of NON-personality.


BOOM!


---Andy Borowitz

Posted by: Dr Spank at March 02, 2013 04:59 PM (4cRnj)

132 Sounds awful. I was thinking about getting the DVD but I think I'll pass.
The central chump ought not to be a sociopath. He should be complex but someone you can identify with or at least recognize. Otherwise there's no story beyond hey-look-at-these-two-crazy-guys. Who cares?



Posted by: Margarita DeVille at March 02, 2013 05:02 PM (C8mVl)

133
You could always watch "Cult of Personality" by Living Color on You -Tube, if the Sequester hadn't killed it, and the Internet.

Wait, how does that work, anyways?

Posted by: Reader C.J. Burch at the Ides of/ at March 02, 2013 05:02 PM (Md8Uo)

134 Happy hour? Everybody gone to get a drink?

Posted by: BignJames at March 02, 2013 05:09 PM (j7iSn)

135 There are NO subliminal messages in the secondary audio track.

Posted by: Three Xenu Moon t-shirt at March 02, 2013 05:10 PM (UoJbm)

136 If you're going to go with a film with "Master"Ii'd go with "Master and Commander" (based on the nautical book) or even "Master and Margarita" based on the Russian novel. I appreciate the review but I have such a loathing for L. Ron Hubbard and Scientology I don't want to see something even loosely based on him.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at March 02, 2013 05:11 PM (Uhg6n)

137 Meant a Film with "Master in the title"

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at March 02, 2013 05:12 PM (Uhg6n)

138 >>>Sounds awful. I was thinking about getting the DVD but I think I'll pass.

The central chump ought not to be a sociopath. He should be complex
but someone you can identify with or at least recognize. Otherwise
there's no story beyond hey-look-at-these-two-crazy-guys. Who cares?

I was going to mention tis. In comedy, you can't just have the crazy guy. You need the Sane Man for reaction. The crazy guy isn't funny without the sane man's reaction. (Speaking of Straight Men, as people were speaking above of Jason Batemen... the joke about the crazy man doesn't hit until the Straight Man acknowledges it.)

I had this idea in this movie. I had a lot of ideas in this movie, as I was bored.

But I began thinking that the Sane Man must be present in a drama, too. The nuttiness needs a reaction from someone non-nutty.

I this film, everyone's batty. Characters that could have been the Sane Man are instead also crazy. Like Lancaster's wife, played by Amy Adams, whose only charzcterization is the same characterization of her husband-- she's crazy, just more intense.


Posted by: ace at March 02, 2013 05:12 PM (LCRYB)

139
Ahhh, it's bad like Jericho (tv series)

The Master has the background of the beginning of Scientology - which sounds like a great idea for a movie. How Did It Happen? And they keep that stuff in the background and show you the relationship between those two guys.

Jericho has a TREMENDOUS background. World War Three!!! And they show you the LEAST interesting part of it (hick town somewhat troubled by the local collapse of civilization). ANYTHING else in the WORLD going on at that time would have been more interesting.

Posted by: Comrade Arthur at March 02, 2013 05:14 PM (AbHls)

140

fnord

Posted by: Dr. Varno at March 02, 2013 05:16 PM (wf7zD)

141 103


Speaking of stunning photography and lighting....I miss 'Sunrise Earth'.

It was on DiscoveryHD, in the mornings.
A couple of hours of georgeous photography, showing a gradual sunrise, at some senic location.

No dialogue. Just silence, and the sounds of the world waking up.
No commercial breaks either.
Which is probably why they discontinued it.


Posted by: wheatie at March 02, 2013 04:43 PM (QPnFm)

The problem with HD is that every network show makes sure that they don't take advantage of the HD. Every show is dark as hell, or they shoot with a blue tint. When I got my first HDTV, one of the first things I saw was "Planet Earth" in HD. It was spectacular. I would just sit and watch any documentary in HD on Discovery because it looked so spectacular. Now, the HD channels only get tuned for sports and documentaries.

Posted by: Ashley Judd's Puffy Scamper, formerly MrCaniac, protecting his squeekhole at March 02, 2013 05:19 PM (Zd/NW)

142 Posted by: ace at March 02, 2013 05:12 PM (LCRYB)
-----------------------------------------------------------
Every Sargent Frank Drebin needs his hapless Nordberg.

Posted by: Truck Monkey at March 02, 2013 05:19 PM (jucos)

143 Haha...haha...ace said "DP".

Posted by: Beavis...or Butthead! at March 02, 2013 05:21 PM (nZvGM)

144 O/T. Over at Weasel Zippers. TFG pardons man convicted of gun crimes. Don't know how to link.

Posted by: t-dubyah-d at March 02, 2013 05:22 PM (hhsyr)

145 If Ace wants to start a cult, he first needs to read Raven: The Untold Story of the Rev. Jim Jones and His People (if he hasn't already). It was written by some San Fran reporter who got shot on the airstrip where the CA congressman got killed, just shortly before the whole compound went tits-up. Ace just needs to follow what Jones did, including ass-raping some of his male followers (truth), and the cult will be thriving in no time.

Posted by: Joejm65 at March 02, 2013 05:22 PM (UZuc4)

146
Warning: DO NOT BUY!

This isn't official Ace gear, just a design.

Ace, how about stuff like this?

http://bit.ly/Z5JU4l

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at March 02, 2013 05:23 PM (piMMO)

147 The kind of thing that Saturday Night Live doesn't have. They've strung together four really funny sketches in the past twenty minutes.

Which is more than SNL has done in four seasons.
Posted by: BumperStickerist at March 02, 2013 04:59 PM (9P+hO)


You know what's worse than SNL? A TV show about the behind the scenes of a fictional SNL show. Bet they make a show about the behind the scenes of a fictional show about the behind the scenes of a fictional SNL next.

Posted by: Global Disaster Solutions Trucks On My Street at March 02, 2013 05:23 PM (euACX)

148 I dunno. Jonestown just wouldn't be as funny as Ace O' Spades, because they never told jokes at Jonestown. The punch lines were too long.

Posted by: Reader C.J. Burch at the Ides of/ at March 02, 2013 05:25 PM (Md8Uo)

149 Today is Texas Independence Day - March 2, 1836.

How come we're not celebrating it? We celebrate effin Cinco de Mayo, why not TID?

Posted by: Flores para los muertos at March 02, 2013 05:25 PM (wQXBk)

150 Is anyone out there? Is anyone left alive? The sequestration has swept across the land like a scythe of doom and in its path lie scores of broken bodies.

Oh, wait. Those are just some saltines I crushed into the carpet.

Still, I'm not going outside until it's safe.

Posted by: Suffering under sequester at March 02, 2013 05:26 PM (Lxw+T)

151 I'll spoil something and let you know the real answer is 3., and the
other two are just offered to you early because the writer figures you
won't buy 3.



I don't know why the writer doesn't think people will accept 3 since it's obvious that this is not about Scientology to the extent that we won't get sued winkwinknudgenudge If you're going to see a movie about the founding of Scientology, of course you're going to accept bizarre shit because the bizarre shit is the point of the movie. I think trying to keep from getting sued is what strangles the script just as it starts to get interesting.


You know what the other problem is with The Master? It's obvious Oscar bait and, if you're me, you sit there watching PSH and Joaquin tick off all the necessary ticky boxes to get their nominations. That's boring. It's kind of how I feel about Flight, just name it Here's Denzel's Next Important Role and be honest about it. Boring Oscar bait is boring.



The Master is gorgeously shot and superbly art directed though. It somewhat reminds me of Melancholia in that aspect. You can put either of them on and watch with the sound off and that's actually more interesting than the script.

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD. Totes waiting until after March Madness. at March 02, 2013 05:26 PM (Gk3SS)

152 I kept wondering if there was going to be some more meaningful connection between the two that woul make things clear.

Like they were two sides of the same mind. The scene in the jail where Freddie is freaking out and Lancaster is calm made me think maybe they're the same person somehow. I would have been annoyed by that twist because it's been a cliche for almost 15 years but at least it would tied things together.

If there's something I'm supposed to figure out that will make the whole thing make sense, I missed it. The film makers failed to make it.

I enjoyed the rest of my night by reading Axe Cop for the first time.

Posted by: Jmt at March 02, 2013 05:26 PM (7AySn)

153 148 I dunno. Jonestown just wouldn't be as funny as Ace O' Spades, because they never told jokes at Jonestown. The punch lines were too long.
Posted by: Reader C.J. Burch at the Ides of/ at March 02, 2013 05:25 PM (Md8Uo)


That made me laugh. Thanks.

Posted by: Joejm65 at March 02, 2013 05:26 PM (UZuc4)

154
Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at March 02, 2013 05:23 PM (piMMO)

For a beer glass I'd chose something like "the Moron Breakfast" . (Or more Beer related.)

Posted by: tsrblke at March 02, 2013 05:27 PM (GaqMa)

155 Hubbard scientifically amalgamated every coercive mind/life control technique over his followers, but much worse than that, over their children born into the cult.

Inside Scientology experienced from Ex-Scientology Kids
http://tinyurl.com/2or7yq

To hell with Hubbard.

If it's a detailed account of a cult gone self-destructive that you want to view, see Hitler played by Bruno Ganz, "Downfall" (2004, auf Deutsch, subtitles). The movie is set in Berlin during the last week of the Third Reich. Several points hit home. Aside from viewing the destruction of a magnificent city and population, the wholesale slaughtering of the Arian-German old male civilians by the military complex of gangs, out of blood lust, quoting the "best of intentions" to maintain order in chaos, or accusing the old men of having abandoned their military posts. That insanity is not merely a German trait, but I expect, the sort of inhumanity that war lets loose from people who enjoy the killing, regardless of which nation they are from, or ethnicity in particular.

Unbelievable, expect that it already happened.

Posted by: panzernashorn at March 02, 2013 05:28 PM (MhA4j)

156 Obumblers first round of pardons at the Weasel Zippers link to the Washington Examiner. All of them look like suprisingly garden variety criminals!

Posted by: t-dubyah-d at March 02, 2013 05:28 PM (hhsyr)

157 puffy got loose
http://tinyurl.com/agt4vzr

Posted by: ghostofhallelujah at March 02, 2013 05:29 PM (za53n)

158 I really really liked moonrise kingdom

Posted by: thunderb at March 02, 2013 05:30 PM (4Fzmd)

159 I got stuck at the idea second graders might be asked to write an essay on the Emancipation Proclamation. And that a poor word choice would be a ding.

What planet of superbeings are you from, ace?

I think you mean tenth grade.

Posted by: Beagle at March 02, 2013 05:30 PM (uf1vM)

160 >>>I kept wondering if there was going to be some more meaningful connection between the two that woul make things clear.



Like they were two sides of the same mind

...

yeah I don't get it. I don't see what Quell brings to the table. Maybe if they'd suggested that Lancaster had a real sadistic streak, but it was repressed, and he admired Quell's casual propensity for violence? Like Quell represented liberation or something?

At the end I think it comes down to a homosexual attraction -- but that seems hard to believe, as both men sure seem heterosexual.

I'm not necessarily against the idea that "They're Just Gay;" I just don't see how they can be both gay and straight.

And to even accept such a proposition, I'd still need to know what Freddie Quell brings to the table that Lancaster finds so alluring.



Posted by: ace at March 02, 2013 05:31 PM (LCRYB)

161

I dunno. Jonestown just wouldn't be as funny as Ace O' Spades, because they never told jokes at Jonestown. The punch lines were too long.
Posted by: Reader C.J. Burch at the Ides of/ at March 02, 2013 05:25 PM (Md8Uo)








ISWYDT

And I'm ashamed of myself for laughing. Not enough to STOP laughing.....

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at March 02, 2013 05:32 PM (MBqvE)

162 Ashley Bizarre Poignant Judd Speech was inspiring.


Posted by: Gay Chuevara at March 02, 2013 05:32 PM (+OTLF)

163 >>>I think you mean tenth grade.

hah, well I forget... I got a Weebelo badge for avoiding the Passive Voice.

Posted by: ace at March 02, 2013 05:32 PM (LCRYB)

164 They're making another Percy Jackson movie? Cool. I liked the first one. What. I like stuff like that. Even if the author does put ancient mythology through a blender...he gets kids curious about the real ancient mythology. And at least he didn't kill off any ancient mythological gods, like they did in 'Wrath of the Titans'. Which was outrageously dumb, imo.
Posted by: wheatie at March 02, 2013 04:17 PM (QPnFm)


And so do the Kevin Sorbo Hercules series. Which btw because I'm such a giver to the ettes, Dredd himself is in that series. Karl Urban is Cupid walking around shirtless with wings in the 3rd season episode Green Eyed Monster.

Posted by: buzzion at March 02, 2013 05:33 PM (GULKT)

165 Okay, if I accept that Quell is one of those "Supermales" they talk about in prison populations, the double-Y ones, and he's, like, so male he can just have sex with either.... I still don't get how that explains Lancaster, who's not that type.

And they don't actually want to have sex so maybe this is all over my head. Some kind of chaste gay attraction?

I still don't get what Quell's bringing to the table. He's a violent weirdo mentally-challenged huffer like Charlie on Always Something. Even on Always Sunny, no one's thinking "Man I got to get with Charlie."

(Except one of the most beautiful actresses in Hollywood, but that was played as a You Didn't See This Coming Joke.)


Posted by: ace at March 02, 2013 05:35 PM (LCRYB)

166 Joaquin Phoenix's character is an alcoholic sociopath?

So he's just being himself then?

Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at March 02, 2013 05:36 PM (BuSM8)

167 For a beer glass I'd chose something like "the Moron Breakfast" . (Or more Beer related.)

***

Yeah. I'm just trying to lure Ace into opening a shop.

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at March 02, 2013 05:36 PM (piMMO)

168 Ace have you ever watched Pool Hall Junkies?

Posted by: buzzion at March 02, 2013 05:37 PM (GULKT)

169 yeah I don't get it. I don't see what Quell brings to the table. Maybe
if they'd suggested that Lancaster had a real sadistic streak, but it
was repressed, and he admired Quell's casual propensity for violence?
Like Quell represented liberation or something?



That's what they were trying to do, the yin yang two sides of the same coin you complete me thing. Let's just say that this was not actualized in the film.





Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD. Totes waiting until after March Madness. at March 02, 2013 05:38 PM (Gk3SS)

170 I didn't read your review, Ace. I scrolled it using my finger on my smartphone, and, I'm exhausted.

Posted by: The littl shyning man at March 02, 2013 05:38 PM (PH+2B)

171 I got a Weebelo badge for avoiding the Passive Voice.

Posted by: ace at March 02, 2013 05:32 PM (LCRYB)

I think you mean 'a Weebelo badge was given to me'

you're welcome

Posted by: ghostofhallelujah at March 02, 2013 05:38 PM (za53n)

172 If you don't enjoy a movie, it doesn't matter how important it is. It's a failure.

Posted by: toby928© at March 02, 2013 05:39 PM (QupBk)

173 >>>
That's what they were trying to do, the yin yang two sides of the
same coin you complete me thing. Let's just say that this was not
actualized in the film.

I'm glad most of you agree... Now I'm looking at movie critics and their 9/10 ratings and wondering what planet I'm on.

Posted by: ace at March 02, 2013 05:39 PM (LCRYB)

174 158
I really really liked moonrise kingdom

Posted by: thunderb at March 02, 2013 05:30 PM (4Fzmd)

You liked it presented a simpler time without all the complications air conditioning, talk shows, american idol presidencies, US-Pravda News Networks, and the internet with its instant access to midget porn skateboard whipeout and firecracker in the butt and light your farts on fire fail vidoes from youtube.Back then, a fucking useless sack of shit that ran his mouth was exactly that...Now, its the president.

Posted by: jeremiah Gosh Darn Amerikkka wright's Sock Puppet at March 02, 2013 05:39 PM (+OTLF)

175
171 I got a Weebelo badge for avoiding the Passive Voice. Posted by: ace at March 02, 2013 05:32 PM (LCRYB) I think you mean 'a Weebelo badge was given to me, you guys' you're welcome
Posted by: ghostofhallelujah at March 02, 2013 05:38 PM (za53n)


FTFY for AOS Style Guide

Posted by: buzzion at March 02, 2013 05:39 PM (GULKT)

176
I watched "Moonrise Kingdom" on a REALLY long airline flight (Chicago to Beijing) , along with "The Avengers" and "Prometheus".

"The Avengers" made me laugh, "Prometheus" was stupid, and "Moonrise Kingdom" was quirky and charming, and a little like real life. A nice little movie with Bruce Willis actually given a chance to act.

Posted by: Reader C.J. Burch at the Ides of/ at March 02, 2013 05:42 PM (Md8Uo)

177 @176

Wes Anderson's films are usually pleasing except for The Life Aquatic which was a piece of shit.

The Royal Tenenbaums - Masterpiece!

Posted by: General Woundwort at March 02, 2013 05:46 PM (zOP5o)

178
I really really liked moonrise kingdom

Posted by: thunderb at March 02, 2013 05:30 PM (4Fzmd)



I love Wes Anderson's particular type of twee. Part of it is how his movies read as sci-fi to me because they're all set in these bizarre little worlds where everyone simply accepts that this is how this world works. The characters are responding normally to fairly routine situations in their universe. It's only strange to us because the rules are different from ours.


I'm trailer trolling at the moment and dear God does The Place Beyond The Pines look ridiculously pretentious.

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD. Totes waiting until after March Madness. at March 02, 2013 05:46 PM (Gk3SS)

179 Spell it with me now.....Webeloes.

Posted by: t-dubyah-d at March 02, 2013 05:46 PM (hhsyr)

180 172
If you don't enjoy a movie, it doesn't matter how important it is. It's a failure.

Posted by: toby928© at March 02, 2013 05:39 PM (QupBk)
Its not possible for every person to enjoy the same movie...or rather a movie to please everyone.Movies are a visual auditory and emotional art form, while barring any physical differences like being blind or deaf or having lost one eye in a hunting accident thus affecting depth perception, the Visual and auditory can be experienced on a relatively similar level by all, the emotional can not.Since we are all raised in different emotional environments, we will not percieve emotionally the same way. Sure we might have a very broud general frame of reference that we agree upon for whats funny or moving or maudline, but because of out own personal experiences or lack of, our individual emotional responses to a film may be vastly dissimilar.This heavily impacts, in fact dictates how we respond to interpret and ultimately react to a film.Basicly, not everyone thinks the same shit stinks.And some people actually find the stink of shit comforting.Which pretty much explains why Obama got reelected.

Posted by: jeremiah Gosh Darn Amerikkka wright's Sock Puppet at March 02, 2013 05:46 PM (+OTLF)

181 It's "Webelos" - short for We'll Be Loyal Scouts"

Webelos is one of those words like "barracks" where the singular and the plural are the same.

Posted by: AoSHQ Quality Control Inspector . at March 02, 2013 05:46 PM (9P+hO)

182 A nice little movie with Bruce Willis actually given a chance to act.
Posted by: Reader C.J. Burch at the Ides of/ at March 02, 2013 05:42 PM (Md8Uo)
----------------------------------------------------------
Ummmmmmm Die Hard dude! Die Hard....

Posted by: Truck Monkey at March 02, 2013 05:47 PM (jucos)

183 177
@176

Wes Anderson's films are usually pleasing except for The Life Aquatic which was a piece of shit.

The Royal Tenenbaums - Masterpiece!


Posted by: General Woundwort at March 02, 2013 05:46 PM (zOP5o)

See, now i enjoyed Life Aquatic far more than royal tenenbaums.

Posted by: jeremiah Gosh Darn Amerikkka wright's Sock Puppet at March 02, 2013 05:48 PM (+OTLF)

184 Only a master of evil, Darth.

Posted by: Ook? at March 02, 2013 05:50 PM (OQpzc)

185 Netflix thinks I want to watch something called Viking Apocalypse. Netflix is right.

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD. Totes waiting until after March Madness. at March 02, 2013 05:52 PM (Gk3SS)

186 The Master - A must see for insomniacs

Posted by: Craig Poe at March 02, 2013 05:52 PM (BVkEs)

187 "See, now i enjoyed Life Aquatic far more than royal tenenbaums."


Really?


Well I guess there is no accounting for taste.





Posted by: General Woundwort at March 02, 2013 05:52 PM (zOP5o)

188 Crap. Bing says i'm one e off! In my defense that was 42 years ago.

Posted by: t-dubyah-d at March 02, 2013 05:53 PM (hhsyr)

189 a good Bruce Willis / Alec Baldwin film is "Mercury Rising" ... good in the sense that I enjoyed it.

It has a kind of "Nighthawks" (Stallone/Williams) vibe to it. And Alec Baldwin plays "bad guy" without going over-the-top.

Posted by: BumperStickerist at March 02, 2013 05:54 PM (9P+hO)

190 Melancholia, now that's a terrible movie.
Moonrise was great if you're 7 years old. The Life Aquatic is brilliant.

Posted by: Dr Spank at March 02, 2013 05:57 PM (4cRnj)

191 187
"See, now i enjoyed Life Aquatic far more than royal tenenbaums."
Really?
Well I guess there is no accounting for taste.


Posted by: General Woundwort at March 02, 2013 05:52 PM (zOP5o)

fucker....

Life aquatic was a suspend your disbelief fairy tale where adults played the roles of children and the back yard was replaced by the ocean. I found it charming and original. Having grown up with the Jacque Cousteau Boring as fuck to watch but exciting as can be to look forward too Nat Geo specials i found it highly appealing.

Royal tenenbaums felt like just another family angst pretending to be quirky comedy by the numbers piece to me since there have been so many other films that have touched the same subject matter area that countless other QuirckyEmoFamilyComedy ShockYouDidTheyReally SayOrDoThatGiggleDrama dreck has touched.

Posted by: jeremiah Gosh Darn Amerikkka wright's Sock Puppet at March 02, 2013 05:58 PM (+OTLF)

192 I'm thinking that Anderson was very careful to avoid lawsuits from the powerful freako cult.

Posted by: steevy at March 02, 2013 05:58 PM (9XBK2)

193 And "Life Aquatic" was stupid-fun.

Posted by: BumperStickerist at March 02, 2013 06:00 PM (9P+hO)

194
lulz, anyone?

Just on CNN: RECESSION?

Could Spending Cuts Trigger Recession?


Answer: Maybe


the mask is off

Posted by: soothsayer at March 02, 2013 06:01 PM (eHNxr)

195 Everyone on board the ship, in The Life Aquatic, was issued Glocks. Case closed.

Posted by: Dr Spank at March 02, 2013 06:02 PM (4cRnj)

196 190
Melancholia, now that's a terrible movie.
Moonrise was great if you're 7 years old. The Life Aquatic is brilliant.


Posted by: Dr Spank at March 02, 2013 05:57 PM (4cRnj)
Melancholia has a magnificent and ethereal performance by Kirsten Dunst. She was exquisite. The film itself is mediocre but i wouldnt call it terrible...now Django Unchained...yeah...self indulgent crap from a guy who has started believing his own hype after kill bill.

Posted by: jeremiah Gosh Darn Amerikkka wright's Sock Puppet at March 02, 2013 06:03 PM (+OTLF)

197 None of these movies holds a candle to Porky's.

Posted by: Ook? at March 02, 2013 06:05 PM (OQpzc)

198 It has a kind of "Nighthawks" (Stallone/Williams) vibe to it.

THAT was a fun film. Doesn't get discussed much when Stallone is the topic but that's one of his better efforts, IMO.

Posted by: Joejm65 at March 02, 2013 06:06 PM (UZuc4)

199 Is Valhalla Rising any good? I'm taping that bitch.

Posted by: Dr Spank at March 02, 2013 06:06 PM (4cRnj)

200 The delightful people Dear Leader has pardoned:

http://tinyurl.com/ah42wmg

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at March 02, 2013 06:06 PM (Uhg6n)

201 I think it'd be fun if we did a google hangout and snarked on a movie MST3K style.

Posted by: RoyalOil at March 02, 2013 06:07 PM (VjL9S)

202 197
None of these movies holds a candle to Porky's.

Posted by: Ook?


Look, if you're going to bust out Porky's, I'm going to have to bust out The Godfather, or Weekend At Bernie's.

Posted by: Dr Spank at March 02, 2013 06:07 PM (4cRnj)

203 197
None of these movies holds a candle to Porky's.

Posted by: Ook? at March 02, 2013 06:05 PM (OQpzc)

Porky's is a fucking terrible movie.However, it was one of the first films i went to see with freinds in junior high and it was amazing back then because i was exactly the target audience.The dick through the hole in the wall scene was hilarious.

Posted by: jeremiah Gosh Darn Amerikkka wright's Sock Puppet at March 02, 2013 06:07 PM (+OTLF)

204 Hansel and Gretel in 3D. An ffin classic

followed by red riding hood

and snow white and the huntsmen

and jack and the bean stalk.

Original thinkers and risk takers, these Hollywood types

Posted by: thunderb at March 02, 2013 06:09 PM (Dnbau)

205 Posted by: thunderb at March 02, 2013 06:09 PM (Dnbau)

Are you serious guys?

Posted by: Hrothgar at March 02, 2013 06:10 PM (Cnqmv)

206 171 I got a Weebelo badge for avoiding the Passive Voice.

Posted by: ace at March 02, 2013 05:32 PM (LCRYB)

I think you mean 'a Weebelo badge was given to me'

you're welcome
===
I would be receptive to your thanks.

Posted by: RoyalOil at March 02, 2013 06:11 PM (VjL9S)

207 Jane Fonda says Seth McFarlanes Oscar host performance was "inappropriate".Yeah Jane,not appropriate like visiting an enemy capitol in war time and sporting on an anti aircraft gun.Cunt.

Posted by: steevy at March 02, 2013 06:12 PM (9XBK2)

208 Are you serious guys?


Posted by: Hrothgar


Thunderb's post is a sarcasm sandwich with extra sarcasm sauce, With a side of grilled sarcasm. Hope that helps.

Posted by: Dr Spank at March 02, 2013 06:12 PM (4cRnj)

209

They're already setting the table for the coming recession.

Planting that seed. Recession = Republicans = Recession...

Posted by: soothsayer at March 02, 2013 06:14 PM (vuIm8)

210 "Oscar-winner Ben Affleck still intends to make a Whitey Bulger biopic starring Matt Damon"


ehhh

Posted by: Dr. Varno at March 02, 2013 06:15 PM (wf7zD)

211 138--- " I began thinking that the Sane Man must be present in a drama, too. The nuttiness needs a reaction from someone non-nutty."

Posted by: ace at March 02, 2013 05:12 PM (LCRYB)
---------------

This makes me think of another PS Hoffman movie, "Capote," which I liked VERY much. There you have Capote the weirdo and Perry the murderer-weirdo, but you also have their sane counterparts. You've got the character of Harper Lee who observes Capote's descent into drunken stupidity. You've got the sheriff who observes the whole lot of these sickos as he just does his duty.
THAT works. Yes, I think the sane observer is crucial.

Posted by: Margarita DeVille at March 02, 2013 06:16 PM (C8mVl)

212 I'm not sure of the purpose of this review. It could have been said in one sentence - Don't bother to watch this crummy movie.


Posted by: Cheri at March 02, 2013 06:18 PM (EAgmr)

213 The Exorcist of The Godfather is the best movie never made.

Posted by: Craig Poe at March 02, 2013 06:19 PM (BVkEs)

214 207 ---Jane Fonda says Seth McFarlanes Oscar host performance was "inappropriate".Yeah Jane,not appropriate like visiting an enemy capitol in war time and sporting on an anti aircraft gun.Cunt.
Posted by: steevy at March 02, 2013 06:12 PM (9XBK2)
------------
I was delighted to see that the Yahoo story about this had a whole PILE of comments making exactly that point. And they were dinged-up into the thousands.
Screw her.

Posted by: Margarita DeVille at March 02, 2013 06:19 PM (C8mVl)

215 Hoo Fucking Ray!

Al-Qaeda leader Mokhtar Belmokhtar 'killed in Mali' as Chadian armed forces destroy terrorist base

Belmokhtar is believed to be among several rebels killed when Chadian armed forces 'completely destroyed' a terrorist base in northern Mali

One-eyed terror chief said to be behind the Algeria hostage crisis in January
A total of 37 workers were killed at an oil facility - including six Britons

It's a 2 for one:

Abdelhamid Abou Zeid, a senior commander in Al-Qaeda in the Islamic Maghreb (AQIM), was killed among 40 other Islamist fighters four days ago in the foothills of the Adrar des Ifoghas mountains.

...

The former smuggler turned jihadist is believed to be behind the kidnapping of more than 20 Westerners in the area over the last five years, and is thought have executed British national Edwin Dyer in 2009.

http://goo.gl/wrhOI


Posted by: Flores para los muertos at March 02, 2013 06:22 PM (wQXBk)

216 One of my favorite actresses has been Shirley McClaine. Now her daughter has come out with a book telling the world what a fucked mother she was. She has been always 'Out there' but now we know how abusive and negligent she was. Very disappointing.

Posted by: Cheri at March 02, 2013 06:22 PM (EAgmr)

217 >>>The Exorcist of The Godfather is the best movie never made.

Is it better than 12 Monkees?

Posted by: Dr. Varno at March 02, 2013 06:23 PM (wf7zD)

218 @183

177
@176

Wes Anderson's films are usually pleasing except for The Life Aquatic which was a piece of shit.

The Royal Tenenbaums - Masterpiece!


Posted by: General Woundwort at March 02, 2013 05:46 PM (zOP5o)

See, now i enjoyed Life Aquatic far more than royal tenenbaums.

Posted by: jeremiah Gosh Darn Amerikkka wright's Sock Puppet at March 02, 2013 05:48 PM (+OTLF)


I really enjoyed Wes Anderson's movies until "The Life Aquatic", which I hated so much that I haven't seen another of his movies.

I can't stomach the idea of another boring, mindless piece of crap like The Life Aquatic.

So no more Wa for me.


naturalfake, naturalfake, how's about free tickets for "The Indian Train Ride Whangdoodle"

Go fuck yourself.

Well, then how's about "Crappy Animated Foxes and Other Assorted Fauna" on cable TV.

Let me repeat. Go fuck yourself.

But...but...surely you would like to accept this free blu-ray disc of "Quirky Boy Scout Love Song". Right? Right?

What is it that you do not understand about the phrase, Go fuck yourself.

FIN

Posted by: naturalfake at March 02, 2013 06:24 PM (G9qZk)

219 215Yeah,at least the forces for good continue to make martyrs of these scumbags.At least we have that going for us.

Posted by: steevy at March 02, 2013 06:24 PM (9XBK2)

220 @66,

It's not that hard to start a cult. I used to know some people in the Love Family. Guy that started it was a used car salesman. And, of course, if Manson can do it, anyone can.

Posted by: notsothoreau at March 02, 2013 06:25 PM (Lqy/e)

221 So, watch the movie with the sound off.

Clean the TV screen and your glasses first.

Got it.

Posted by: eman at March 02, 2013 06:26 PM (Enaa6)

222 212 I'm not sure of the purpose of this review. It could have been said in one sentence - Don't bother to watch this crummy movie.


Posted by: Cheri at March 02, 2013 06:18 PM (EAgmr)


Ace has evolved to being very wordy from his days of reviewing Brokeback mountain

Posted by: Buzzion at March 02, 2013 06:27 PM (dGhPf)

223 Thunderb's post is a sarcasm sandwich with extra sarcasm sauce, With a side of grilled sarcasm. Hope that helps.


Posted by: Dr Spank at March 02, 2013 06:12 PM (4cRnj)

Thanks I lost my bearing s for a second there!

Posted by: Hrothgar at March 02, 2013 06:27 PM (Cnqmv)

224 216 --- I always wonder how much you can trust these Mommy-Dearest books, or "Money-Dearests," as Carrie Fisher once called them. (She herself of course had a few harsh words for her own mother in her autobiographies, although she also had some kind ones too.)

Unless the celebrity's kid is an awful interesting person in her own right and a very good writer, I would think publishers would demand negativity.

Then again, these stars are usually pretty cuckoo when it comes to giving attention and care to someone other than themselves.

Posted by: Margarita DeVille at March 02, 2013 06:31 PM (C8mVl)

225 220
@66,

So, how much did you end up paying for the car?

Posted by: Deseeded at March 02, 2013 06:32 PM (SZMAq)

226 Posted by: soothsayer at March 02, 2013 06:14 PM (vuIm


C'mon, it is obvious that any negative economic news could not be due to Obama!

Logically, it must be the evil Republicans lead by Bush in stealth mode,

or


The un-named rogue senior officials associated with F and F, or Benghazi, or the release of illegal alien criminals,


But never in a million years could it be Obama's fault because he didn't know anything about any of this!


Posted by: Hrothgar at March 02, 2013 06:33 PM (Cnqmv)

227 Hard Bodies beats porky's hand down!

Posted by: General Woundwort at March 02, 2013 06:33 PM (zOP5o)

228

Movie talk is fun and it brings us closer together.

I like that.

Posted by: soothsayer at March 02, 2013 06:34 PM (eHNxr)

229 220
@66,



It's not that hard to start a cult. I used to know some people in
the Love Family. Guy that started it was a used car salesman. And, of
course, if Manson can do it, anyone can.

Posted by: notsothoreau at March 02, 2013 06:25 PM (Lqy/e)

---
Just sell your shit, and give me the sole of your shoe. Or something.

Posted by: Craig Poe, Wanting one of them cult things at March 02, 2013 06:36 PM (BVkEs)

230 Soothsayer, I agree.

Remember when we all got dressed up for Eyes Wide Shut. Everything smelled like lavender! That was cool.

Posted by: Deseeded at March 02, 2013 06:36 PM (SZMAq)

231 Hard Bodies beats porky's hand down!
Posted by: General Woundwort at March 02, 2013 06:33 PM (zOP5o)

40-something guys try to hit some young poon. A true tale for the ages. At least they had a plan.

Posted by: Ook? at March 02, 2013 06:37 PM (OQpzc)

232 I'm pretty sure I read that writers who knew Hubbard said he had mentioned that the way to get really rich was to start a religion,years before he did just that.Supposedly he also was quite aware it was all bullshit he made up until near death he started taking it seriously himself.

Posted by: steevy at March 02, 2013 06:39 PM (9XBK2)

233 Is there ever going to be a new thread?

Posted by: Mandrill Redass at March 02, 2013 06:39 PM (eEeRy)

234 The Ten Commandments Gone With the Wind is one of the greatest movies never made.

Posted by: Craig Poe at March 02, 2013 06:40 PM (BVkEs)

235 233 It's Saturday,this is likely it until the ONT.Unless someone pops in and starts an open thread.

Posted by: steevy at March 02, 2013 06:41 PM (9XBK2)

236 Posted by: steevy at March 02, 2013 06:39 PM (9XBK2)

Didn't some of Heinlein's later (and inferior) works sort of hint at this approach to making a "good" living?

Posted by: Hrothgar at March 02, 2013 06:42 PM (Cnqmv)

237 Posted by: steevy at March 02, 2013 06:41 PM (9XBK2)

This thread seem pretty open to me! Dull but open.

Posted by: Hrothgar at March 02, 2013 06:43 PM (Cnqmv)

238 Frankly my dear, I don't care if you let my people go!

--
Humphry Bogart

Posted by: General Woundwort at March 02, 2013 06:43 PM (zOP5o)

239 232 I'm pretty sure I read that writers who knew Hubbard said he had mentioned that the way to get really rich was to start a religion,years before he did just that.Supposedly he also was quite aware it was all bullshit he made up until near death he started taking it seriously himself.
Posted by: steevy at March 02, 2013 06:39 PM (9XBK2)


I think the claim has always been that heinlein told Hubbard that the way to get rich was to start a religion.

Posted by: Buzzion at March 02, 2013 06:44 PM (dGhPf)

240
What makes you a transgendered male (?) I mean how much surgery do you have to have to have your sex legally changed? What has Warren Beatty's kid done to qualify her as a man?

Posted by: Flores para los muertos at March 02, 2013 06:44 PM (wQXBk)

241 Movie talk is fun and it brings us closer together.

I like that.


***

Screw you, Sooth!

We don't need no stinkin' kumbaya around here.

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at March 02, 2013 06:44 PM (piMMO)

242 I'm pretty sure I read that writers who knew Hubbard said he had mentioned that the way to get really rich was to start a religion,years before he did just that.Supposedly he also was quite aware it was all bullshit he made up until near death he started taking it seriously himself.
Posted by: steevy at March 02, 2013 06:39 PM (9XBK2)


Dean Ing claimed Hubbard did it on a bet.

Posted by: Larsen E. Whipsnade at March 02, 2013 06:45 PM (+SrD/)

243 How could you guys not bring up Weird Science as a go to young teen boy coming of age movie?

Posted by: Truck Monkey at March 02, 2013 06:45 PM (jucos)

244 To "get" The Life Aquatic I believe you have to be of a certain age and grown up with Jacques Cousteau. You also have to have a brain and the ability to understand that Jacques Cousteau with Glocks and gun battles is funny.

Posted by: Dr Spank at March 02, 2013 06:46 PM (4cRnj)

245 Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at March 02, 2013 06:44 PM (piMMO)


I take it you're not up for the group hug planned later at Campfire Hour?

Posted by: Hrothgar at March 02, 2013 06:47 PM (Cnqmv)

246 Flores....dem pipes. Dem abs. Testament to steel workers.

Posted by: Deseeded at March 02, 2013 06:47 PM (SZMAq)

247 Kelly LeBrock.... WOOF! I was so excited as I got up to leave the theater I almost passed out.

Posted by: Truck Monkey at March 02, 2013 06:49 PM (jucos)

248 How could you guys not bring up Weird Science as a go to young teen boy coming of age movie?

***

Ha!

I watched that last weekend.

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at March 02, 2013 06:50 PM (piMMO)

249 Why can't we talk about Chicago Jesus and how wonderful He is, the troop would approve and continue to pick at there asses.

Posted by: Mandrill Redass at March 02, 2013 06:50 PM (eEeRy)

250 What about Inner Space?

Posted by: Deseeded at March 02, 2013 06:51 PM (SZMAq)

251 Just got back and what's up?
A post where the ewok shows that he still hasn't learned how to embed a video without turning it into a tiny print thread.
Must be too much like actual work.

Posted by: teej at March 02, 2013 06:51 PM (L7JQT)

252 As long as no one mentions Flashdance, or Streets of Fire, we can keep this to a properly artsy fartsy discussion.

Posted by: Ook? at March 02, 2013 06:52 PM (OQpzc)

253 As long as no one mentions Flashdance, or Streets of Fire, we can keep this to a properly artsy fartsy discussion.

***

the them song from Flashdance, along with Eye of the Tiger, are two songs that make my teeth hurt,

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at March 02, 2013 06:53 PM (piMMO)

254 theme

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at March 02, 2013 06:53 PM (piMMO)

255 You don't have to start an actual religion to make lots of money. Being an "enlightened new guru" will do it for you too-witness Eckhart Tolle. Or Deepak Chopra or as I call him, "deep pockets" Chopra:

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at March 02, 2013 06:53 PM (Uhg6n)

256 240 --- Unless she has found a magician who can wave a wand and change her DNA, she's still a female.
Science!!!

Posted by: Margarita DeVille at March 02, 2013 06:54 PM (C8mVl)

257 Somebody mentioned Valhalla Rising earlier.God what a POS that is.Like 10 lines of dialogue in the whole movie,it makes very little sense,it's depressing as hell.But hey,this stuff is subjective so you may like it.

Posted by: steevy at March 02, 2013 06:54 PM (9XBK2)

258 Though an non-mouth breathing human would know that Real Genius beats Weird Science like a rented, ginger step-kid.

Posted by: Ook? at March 02, 2013 06:54 PM (OQpzc)

259 I thought Hollywood already made a movie that takes a swipe at scientology- it was called "Bowfinger". Not Martin's or Murphy's best, but enjoyable enough.

Posted by: Darth Randall at March 02, 2013 06:55 PM (mV8sg)

260 255 Yeah but they are essentially religions of a kind or replacements for religion.

Posted by: steevy at March 02, 2013 06:55 PM (9XBK2)

261 Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at March 02, 2013 06:53 PM (piMMO)


Flashdance is best watched with the sound off!

Posted by: Hrothgar at March 02, 2013 06:55 PM (Cnqmv)

262 243MMM. Kelley LeBrock!!1!1!11. Except for theSteven Segal hookup, she was USDA prime

Posted by: t-dubyah-d at March 02, 2013 06:55 PM (hhsyr)

263 I. Loved. Bowfinger.

Posted by: Dr Spank at March 02, 2013 06:56 PM (4cRnj)

264 I'm watching Battleship...again.

suck it h8ters!

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at March 02, 2013 06:57 PM (piMMO)

265 Ace loves him some Michael MacDonald songs so he probably loves Flashdance.

Posted by: steevy at March 02, 2013 06:57 PM (9XBK2)

266 new sequester thread up

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at March 02, 2013 06:57 PM (piMMO)

267 See "The Master," if only to admire Joaquin Phoenix's amazing performance. I love Amy Adams but she doesn't do much in this one; don't know why she was nominated.

Wait for the DVD? Yes, always. I haven't seen a movie in a theater since 2004, and never will again. There are too many reasons to list, plus you've already heard them all.

If you want to see a really powerful role for Philip Seymour Hoffman, try "Before the Devil Knows You're Dead."

Posted by: gp at March 02, 2013 06:57 PM (mk9aG)

268 >>>It could have been said in one sentence - Don't bother to watch this crummy movie.

I watched the preview last night on Time Warner On Demand, and arrived at this same conclusion. In fact, I was trying to figure out how to turn off the preview, which I have never tried to do before.

Posted by: Tobacco Road at March 02, 2013 06:58 PM (4Mv1T)

269 Wasn't there a bit of a controversy over Flashdance because Jennifer Beals didn't do any of the actual dancing?I seem to dimly recall that,was reminded of it when the same thing came up over Black Swans or whatever that crap was called.

Posted by: steevy at March 02, 2013 06:59 PM (9XBK2)

270 Wasn't there a bit of a controversy over Flashdance because Jennifer Beals didn't do any of the actual dancing?I seem to dimly recall that,was reminded of it when the same thing came up over Black Swans or whatever that crap was called.

***

Yes, but she's an actress, not a dancer, so I never understood the drama about it.

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at March 02, 2013 07:00 PM (piMMO)

271 Phone home. Go ahead, make my day.

Posted by: Craig Poe at March 02, 2013 07:01 PM (BVkEs)

272 Bowfinger kicked ass.

It also explained Heather Graham's entire career.

Posted by: weft cut-loop at March 02, 2013 07:02 PM (Ipj15)

273 Has PTA EVER made a movie that asked, and then answered a "Central
Dramatic Question?" I've seen Boogie Nights and There Will Be Blood, and
I honestly don't see why a script without a conflict or resolution
thereof gets greenlighted. Nonsensical Claptrap, but at least TWBB had
gorgeous cinematography.

I could skip The Master completely,
except for the fact that I dig big girls. So I guess I'm in for the last
seven minutes. I'll fast forward through the first two hours, though.

Posted by: Oschisms at March 02, 2013 07:07 PM (pfVS8)

274 Ace: I didn't sense homosexual thing at all mainly for the reasons you said - they were both overtly hetero and not in a way that suggests they were trying to hide something.

I think they may have started out with a Fight Club twist and realized it was going to be a groaner but they didn't know what to do after that.

What I find most annoying about this movie is that it is so competently constructed that I want to believe there's a Thing I missed and once I see what that Thing is, the movie will make more sense.

A competent but dishonest filmmaker tries that intentionally but I don't think that is going on here.

In the end, I think the movie makers took an interesting subject and failed to figure out how to make it into movie.

It is easier to accept a failure on bad acting, poor writing than it is to accept a failure of ideas.

It is a real shame. The raw material was there. They just didn't figure out how to use it.

Posted by: Jmt at March 02, 2013 07:16 PM (b6878)

275 I think an ONT had an updated Kelly LeBrock pic....there's much more of her to love now.

Posted by: USS Diversity at March 02, 2013 07:17 PM (7ZvYH)

276 There are a few reasons why The Master wasn't nominated. "He can work with anyone." Meaning he gets the best talent. "PT Anderson is just a dumb kid from the valley, and Boogie Nights is the best he'll ever do, because that's all he knows." Even though he adapted Upton Sinclair, but this was coming from the writing wing, and the awards are manipulated that way, too. It's political like anything.

Posted by: Tattoo De Plane at March 02, 2013 07:22 PM (7h5MH)

277 I'm bummed I missed the 70mm print in theaters.

Posted by: Tattoo De Plane at March 02, 2013 07:23 PM (7h5MH)

278 You missed the whole point Ace---this was part 1 of a TRILOGY.

Posted by: Kasper in New Orleans at March 02, 2013 07:25 PM (7x9pP)

279 The other thing you're missing is that Best Picture tends to sweep awards, and prizes are given out to people who work together often. There are never consolation prizes but neglected awards. There are always lobbies, though.

Posted by: Tattoo De Plane at March 02, 2013 07:27 PM (7h5MH)

280 a very long review of the movie about which you have nothing to say, except that, you do not understand the movie.

Posted by: andrew breitbart at March 02, 2013 07:28 PM (BfXv+)

281 That wasn't a review - it was more of a meditation.

And there's a distinction between not understanding the movie itself and not understanding the process by which the movie itself came to be.

... and shit.

Posted by: BumperStickerist at March 02, 2013 07:36 PM (9P+hO)

282 and Dr. Spank is correct.

If you've watched the Cousteau "Ze cee, eet is full of la-ife" specials, then Life Aquatic is a hoot.

It's the same thing with "Pinky and the Brain" cartoons where Pinky imitates Cousteau ... it's 'm'eh' if you've never seen the thing, it's a riot if you have.

Posted by: BumperStickerist at March 02, 2013 07:38 PM (9P+hO)

283 PAUL Thomas Anderson. Paul.

And yes, he sucks.

Directs overrated garbage for pretentious pseudo-intellectuals. I saw Boogie Nights and walked out. I saw Punch Drunk Love cause it had Adam Sandler and I thought it was going to be funny. Piece of shit! Haven't bothered with his garbage since and I don't give a good goddamn how many hipster faggots deep throat that fucking hack.

Posted by: Robert at March 02, 2013 07:48 PM (LUnTP)

284 This was meh. Magnolia was decent. TWBB was fucking awesome.

/$0.02

Posted by: Socktopus at March 02, 2013 08:02 PM (iYXxW)

285 So I guess I'm in for the last
seven minutes.
Posted by: Oschisms at March 02, 2013 07:07 PM (pfVS
---

Yeah, those were nice.

Posted by: Socktopus at March 02, 2013 08:03 PM (iYXxW)

286 ergie,

hahahaha.

Drop us some analysis, genius.

hahhahahahaha

This should be rich.

You are incapable of understanding ANYTHING or judging its merit-- you are an animal only capable of obeying your betters' appraisals.

So tell me your thoughts... or rather the thoughts of your dopey little Opinion Makers. Please regurgitate other people's thoughts for me *right now*.


Posted by: ace at March 02, 2013 08:35 PM (LCRYB)

287 The director's films are pretty easy to understand unless you are terrified by the paralyzing fear that the movie might say something bad about George W. Bush. This is called the "George Lucas effect." The only cure for this malady is public suicide. But I digress.

The director of this film, like all of the other films, ridicules the knucklehead fantasies of the monad-hero-self-made-man. The director despises the right wing knucklehead. In the most directly brilliant exposé to this understanding of the director's works, he has a drunken plutocrat murdering a charlatan evangelist with a bowling pin. If only this happened every day in the Capitol Rotunda, you would learn something important.

Posted by: andrew breitbart at March 02, 2013 08:45 PM (BfXv+)

288 what a sad little stupid faggot you are.

You just delivered, as usual, a wholly politicized "analysis" while attempting to claim I view things in political terms.

You're so fucking stupid you don't even realize it. You have no sense of yourself, no idea what the fuck you're saying.

You're a fucking moron. I don't mean that as people typically mean it. I mean you are a sadly stupid little fool.

Posted by: ace at March 02, 2013 08:54 PM (LCRYB)

289 you need to stay with Buddy Road trip films & cartoon book blockbusters. And 8mm family home movies of your grandmother undressing for the shower.

Here is the tragedy of your prison-thought: when you correctly feel that the film is "great," you immediately are disabled by the suspicion that the greatness belies some apocalyptic assault on your callow virtues. You said this for years that your ideology cannot permit nuance. You can only believe in mediocrity, and nothing approaching greatness. You are a willful dolt.

Posted by: andrew breitbart at March 02, 2013 08:54 PM (BfXv+)

290 >>>The director of this film, like all of the other films, ridicules the knucklehead fantasies of the monad-hero-self-made-man.

the movie, of course, was not about this, but then, you claim that "ALL OTHER FILMS" similarly do this.

What a fucking imbecile.

Posted by: ace at March 02, 2013 08:57 PM (LCRYB)

291 you didn't even see it, did you, you fucking 88 IQ mental patient?


Posted by: ace at March 02, 2013 08:58 PM (LCRYB)

292 You really think "all other films" are only about your pet stroke-fantasy of playing to your entirely-unwanted sneer at "knuckleheads?

You're like a mental patient who sees 'PUSSY" in every Rorschach ink-blot-- which was actually in this movie, as it turns out.

And it is a sign of mental illness.

You basically are Freddie Quell. Except he didn't have any pretensions of being intelligent.

Posted by: ace at March 02, 2013 09:00 PM (LCRYB)

293 I especially admire your default summary of difficult art as an abomination of a preferred plain understanding of the universe in which the simple people are unperturbed by the challenge of troubled thinking induced by ideological contradiction.

But like a Republican congressman among Thai boy whores, you don't last long. You discover the little people are too stupid to govern, let alone hoodwink with high-brow art. It's a tough world you live in. what an ugly nightmare.

The dark is right, ace. Come.

Posted by: andrew breitbart at March 02, 2013 09:03 PM (BfXv+)

294 it is a great film, but probably not well edited. It is the only one of a handful of directors making a claim to the creation of great art, in the tradition of something like Fellini or Bergman.

These directors hate you.

Posted by: andrew breitbart at March 02, 2013 09:06 PM (BfXv+)

295 My brother used to call me "the Mistress of the Passive Voice" which I am.

Posted by: jocon307 at March 02, 2013 09:10 PM (nk1wP)

296 you're an idiot, ergie. You have no idea what the fuck it's even about. All you know is that you've been Instructed to seal-clap on command.

Posted by: ace at March 02, 2013 09:28 PM (LCRYB)

297 I'm pretty sure you haven't seen it, and are casting about Rotten Tomatoes for reviews to quote, like "it may not be edited well."

But why bother seeing it at all? You already know what all movies are about-- they're about PUSSY, or, as you'd call it, "telling knuckleheads their Randian power fantasies are all wet."

Because, of course, other people are lunatics just like you, with only one thought in their pointy heads.


Posted by: ace at March 02, 2013 09:31 PM (LCRYB)

298 ergie...

the police from what city deliver a civil warrant upon Lancaster Dowd for his arrest?

They state what city they're from four times.

Surely someone who's seen the film would recall that.


Posted by: ace at March 02, 2013 09:35 PM (LCRYB)

299 It is a condemnation of groupthink posing as the liberation of the self (eternal life through reincarnation is the dominant trope). The particular film is a backhand slap to not only the contrived new age religions, but also a kick at any of this kind of totalizing worldview masquerading as self enlightenment (knuckleheaded politics). He did not invent this critique – Weber did when he noticed about 100 years ago the contradiction of the mass delusion of especially Protestant religion operating in the marketplace of ideas of capitalist civilization. Only, the delusion was the organizing principle of mass exploitation.

Like I said, he hates you. This movie was never intended for you. Do yourself a favor and never watch another movie that this director makes.

Posted by: andrew breitbart at March 02, 2013 09:38 PM (BfXv+)

300 .. and DOWN GOES ERGIE!

DOWN GOES ERGIE!

---

Posted by: Internet Fight Announcer - at March 02, 2013 09:39 PM (9P+hO)

301 you're an idiot and you're still guessing.

Unfortunately, moron, the film is not about that. As I mentioned in my review, I was disappointed precisely because it WASN'T about anything beyond Quell and his relationship with Dowd.

You're an idiot and fruitloop and you didn't even see the movie.

You see movies for one reason-- validation of your leftwing gay identity self-hating-projected-onto-the-world politics.

And every movie you see, from Sophie's Choice to Moonrise Kingdom, turns into just that for you. Because you're a dullard, mentally unwell, and shot through with psychological mess and gross personality defects.

Posted by: ace at March 02, 2013 09:41 PM (LCRYB)

302 google google google ergie...

surely some reviewer somewhere identifies the city as Philadelphia.

But I guess maybe no one did? oh well, thanks for playing.

Retard.


Posted by: ace at March 02, 2013 09:42 PM (LCRYB)

303 A big deal was made that it was shot in 65mm with 35mm used for the grainier scenes. First time since Branaugh's Hamlet. That probably accounts for the amazing color.

Posted by: Opinionator at March 02, 2013 09:42 PM (H14Av)

304 awww... ewgie's pawents won't wet him see awr-wated movies.

awwww.

Posted by: ace at March 02, 2013 09:45 PM (LCRYB)

305 Weber did when he noticed about 100 years ago the contradiction of the mass delusion of especially Protestant religion operating in the marketplace of ideas of capitalist civilization.
----------

Max Weber or Jim Weber?

Their views are similar but they diverge on the reification of will in post-totalitarian microcosms relative to whether the end-state was achieved by the citizenry willfully shedding their responsibilities in society or if those functions are abrogated by a cadre of people.

Your characterization sounds more like Jim Weber's.

Posted by: College Sociology Student at March 02, 2013 09:45 PM (9P+hO)

306 >>>That probably accounts for the amazing color.

maybe; i wouldn't be the one to know though. I do know that they can supersaturate via digital manipulation of the original film and then reprinting a celluloid cut.* Maybe the bigger film size can also result in this.

* They used to do this chemically, too. They could "push" colors one way or the other by, for example, just keeping the film in the red bath longer. (I'm making up the process but... a process existed. I just don't know what it is.) They could push on all colors by leaving them all in the different color development baths longer.

But I think they do it digitally now.

Posted by: ace at March 02, 2013 09:47 PM (LCRYB)

307 Don't call it a comeback.

Posted by: Technicolor at March 02, 2013 09:48 PM (9P+hO)

308 the film is about religion, no? it is an overt criticism – maybe you disagree about the kind of criticism – about the collision of organized religion and necessary commodification. It's a criticism about religion in American life. And when Dodd attempts to free the religion from an evolving orthodoxy, the acolytes lose their minds, because they can't stand the nuance and ambiguity. Pure knucklehead hell.

And the masterstroke in all this is that the idiot Quell is the only one capable of embracing this awful truth about human existence, but only if it gets him pub PUSSY. So, yeah, you're sort of right. I

Posted by: andrew breitbart at March 02, 2013 09:52 PM (BfXv+)

309 Truth or beauty. What a bitch, ace.

Posted by: andrew breitbart at March 02, 2013 09:55 PM (BfXv+)

310 >>>the film is about religion, no?

laughing.

ergie's guestimating.

He didn't guestimate on "Philadelphia" though.

He knew he'd guess wrong so he just shut his cuntmouth for once.

Posted by: ace at March 02, 2013 09:59 PM (LCRYB)

311 Let's go back to a basic question:

Did you, personally, see the entire movie - from opening credits through the part where the girl gets thrown into the volcano and on to the closing credits?

So: Did. You. See. This. Movie?

btw - With your own eyes and not through some 'by proxy/meta' standard.

Posted by: BumperStickerist at March 02, 2013 09:59 PM (9P+hO)

312 ergie's attempting to discuss things in the abstract because he can't discuss the film concretely because he didn't see it but of course was required to carry on and pretend that he did.

Fool.


Posted by: ace at March 02, 2013 10:00 PM (LCRYB)

313 Yeah - one thought, a "Right Like Erg" theme could be kind of fun on a slow news day.

It's not particularly difficult and it gives everybody a chance to bust out their compound-complex sentence structures, their slightly misused multisyllabic words, and we can make bad juxtapositions.

It will be a larf. A larf.

Posted by: BumperStickerist at March 02, 2013 10:02 PM (9P+hO)

314 the volcano? More stupid. It was another stupid part in a string of stupid parts. Was that a dream sequence? At that point in the film it was such a cobble of reality and Freddie's fantasies I didn't know and I don't even care about the answer. When they're clearly just making up scenes to be "weird" i check out.


Posted by: ace at March 02, 2013 10:02 PM (LCRYB)

315 That should be "Write Like Erg" ... I was being ironical.

Posted by: BumperStickerist at March 02, 2013 10:02 PM (9P+hO)

316 but let's let The Genius put us some knowledge: So, genius, was the volcano bit real or dream sequence like the earlier nude party?

Does it matter? It's just masturbatory either way, right?

Posted by: ace at March 02, 2013 10:04 PM (LCRYB)

317 "Philadelphia"?

That's all you got? Seriously?

Posted by: andrew breitbart at March 02, 2013 10:05 PM (BfXv+)

318 actually laughing out loud

You know, you shouldn't try to bullshit people who are smarter than you, Idiot.


Posted by: ace at March 02, 2013 10:06 PM (LCRYB)

319 You have yet to say a single thing which would indicate you've even seen the movie.


Posted by: ace at March 02, 2013 10:07 PM (LCRYB)

320 I check out as well. I get Ars Gratia Artis but I don't necessarily like it when it's self-indulgent.

For example, the scene on the yacht - when Dodd puts liquid codeine in the cocktails - was a bit overshot, imo. I didn't need the lingering close-up and the cut back to a two shot was banal.

I don't mind being manipulated, but I do mind having my chain yanked.

Posted by: BumperStickerist at March 02, 2013 10:08 PM (9P+hO)

321 right now ergie is taking a while because he's googling "volcano dream sequence" to see if he can come up with a passable answer.


Posted by: ace at March 02, 2013 10:08 PM (LCRYB)

322 >>>I didn't need the lingering close-up and the cut back to a two shot was banal.

I think the swirling liquid was a callback of the earlier shot when Freddie was getting blood transfusions after his wounding. But I don't know, who cares. I see no relationship between these things apart from, yes, they're both liquid. Color me impressed.


Posted by: ace at March 02, 2013 10:10 PM (LCRYB)

323 Erg - it's kind of like somebody talking about "Jaws" and not being able to recall what kind of shark they were hunting.

That - in and of itself - leads the other part of that dyadic communication process, or those involved in a multi-nodal communications process - to come to a credible conclusion that the aforementioned would-be film buff is talking out his ass.

Posted by: BumperStickerist at March 02, 2013 10:11 PM (9P+hO)

324
I seriously doubt if Erg would even get the direct dig at Scientology's "theology" implied by the volcano scene, much less the overt nod towards Jack Parsons and the flirtation with Thelema evoked by the Crispin Glover cameo.

Posted by: A. Pendragon at March 02, 2013 10:12 PM (wJliR)

325 I watched half of the movie, with my mother. She did not like the sex stuff. I found it tedious, and did not care how it ended, so I volunteered to stop the movie.

Posted by: Baldy at March 02, 2013 10:12 PM (opS9C)

326 right - the wounding was a necessary way point for the plot as it set up the later dynamic. But the yacht scenes drew attention to a relationship dichotomy that you knew was false, and therefore rang hollow.

Posted by: BumperStickerist at March 02, 2013 10:12 PM (9P+hO)

327 >>>I seriously doubt if Erg would even get the direct dig at Scientology's "theology" implied by the volcano scene

Well it's on the cover of Dianetics for God's sake! I remember the TV commercials, the volcano was always in them.


Posted by: ace at March 02, 2013 10:13 PM (LCRYB)

328 Google image search "Dianetics" and the volcano's right there.


Posted by: ace at March 02, 2013 10:14 PM (LCRYB)

329 it's one of those "This is Scientology but we're not saying so so don't sue us" little things in there, like having "Lancaster Dowd" first appear on the ship (referencing, without explicitly stating, L. Ron Hubbard's earlier career as a cashiered Naval officer).


Posted by: ace at March 02, 2013 10:15 PM (LCRYB)

330 You got a point there, Ace, and I thought the fact that Crispin Glover appears in a ferraiolo was pretty self-evident of what PTA was going for as well.

Posted by: A. Pendragon at March 02, 2013 10:16 PM (wJliR)

331 Hubbard threatened a lawsuit against the producers of "Joe and the Volcano" over alleged copyright and concept-abuse. The 'brain cloud' was considered to be a direct attack on Scientology.

The producers settled the suit when they agreed to greenlight "Battlefield Earth" 20 years after "Joe and the Volcano" was released.

The court documents are going to be released after Tom Hanks wins his next Oscar.

_

Posted by: BumperStickerist at March 02, 2013 10:16 PM (9P+hO)

332 that wasn't Crispin Glover, it was Kevin J. O'Connor

http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0640413/

Posted by: ace at March 02, 2013 10:17 PM (LCRYB)

333 always remember you can check IMDB

Posted by: ace at March 02, 2013 10:18 PM (LCRYB)

334 so anything more, ergie, or are we finally done?


Posted by: ace at March 02, 2013 10:19 PM (LCRYB)

335 Crap - I should have taken a look at the extended cast/credit list. But you have to admit that it is the sort of cameo that you'd expect Crispin Glover (or maybe Lucas Haas) to be doing, especially the bit where he reads from Antoine de Sainte-Exeupery.

Posted by: A. Pendragon at March 02, 2013 10:21 PM (wJliR)

336 I forgot all about K.J. O'Connor.

I loved Tanner '88 -- it was a pre-Aaron Sorkin embiggening of political spirit vis-a-vis television.

Foundationally, that show paved the way for "West Wing" and "L'il Bush"

Posted by: BumperStickerist at March 02, 2013 10:22 PM (9P+hO)

337 both have the tall pale weird-looking white guy thing going on.


Posted by: ace at March 02, 2013 10:23 PM (LCRYB)

338 I really hated the implication of the volcano, that any belief in God was some kind of primitivism. It was a straight-up equivalency of ALL religion with primitive cults.

Then again, it might have been a "dream," so I guess he was covering his ass either way. If religious people squawk, he says "it was the dream of a deranged man," and yet he still gets all the compliments from the anti-religious types who think they're SO BRAVE to put this stuff in their movies.

But it's as cheap as punctuation. It's as easy as sighing. So why the Hero Points?

Posted by: ace at March 02, 2013 10:26 PM (LCRYB)

339 "Volcano"

Ubu knucklehead is hunting for metaphors.

I suggest you watch Laurie Ingraham and understand the heart of each message through the prism of John Patmos in the book of revelations.

By the way, 2 1/2 men is a weekly reenactment of the passion, with laugh tracks.

Posted by: andrew breitbart at March 02, 2013 10:29 PM (BfXv+)

340 am I wrong to think that, ergie?

If he's going to make an Artistic Statement, can I at least demand he actually take a firm position? If he's going to claim that all religion is primitive ritual, then LET HIM SAY SO.

Shouldn't Daring Artists actually Dare from time to time?

Or do you like the soft-shoe bullshit?


Posted by: ace at March 02, 2013 10:29 PM (LCRYB)

341 It's the swagger stick that O'Connor constantly carries under his arm that really makes the cameo - so out-of-place, yet so completely appropriate to the character. That, plus the parody of the Mozarabic Rite benediction that he delivers while standing on the bow of the yacht - it's one of those wonderful little moments that works in an otherwise disjointed production.

Posted by: A. Pendragon at March 02, 2013 10:29 PM (wJliR)

342 So I'm wrong to be offended by the volcano? I can't take it as an obvious metaphor?


Posted by: ace at March 02, 2013 10:30 PM (LCRYB)

343 which was it, then, ergie? Which was the Brave Artist doing -- was he actually intending to provoke, or was he trying to hide his message in CYA layers?


Posted by: ace at March 02, 2013 10:31 PM (LCRYB)

344 By the way, 2 1/2 men is a weekly reenactment of the passion, with laugh tracks.
-

That's weird because "Passions" is a reenactment of Henry III every week. I guess that makes for a "fearful symmetry" as Faulkner would say.

-

Posted by: BumperStickerist at March 02, 2013 10:32 PM (9P+hO)

345 notice that whenever we start talking about the specifics of a movie ergie supposedly LOVED, he wants to change the topic to something else.

Volcano -- are religious people allowed to be offened by a clear insult? Or not? Are they supposed to be appeased by his claim that it was all "metaphor" or "dream sequence" or "people can interpret it different ways"?

Stop talking about OTHER things and answer a question about THIS movie for once, Poser.


Posted by: ace at March 02, 2013 10:34 PM (LCRYB)

346 I think some of these interpretations are getting a little strained... when metaphor goes too far it might lose the Intended Audience.


Posted by: ace at March 02, 2013 10:36 PM (LCRYB)

347 true - but the intercuts of the pedestrian traffic in NYC with the shots of Pamplona were gratuitous. Lovely cinimatography, I'd kill to have those colors on my wedding video, but heavy-handed, yet - somehow - trite.

Posted by: BumperStickerist at March 02, 2013 10:40 PM (9P+hO)

348 Holy fuck. It is really annoying when people use complex sentences and awkward vocabulary to sound super smart. I see it a lot, and it drives me nuts.

It is almost universally a sign of someone who is just smart enough to pretend to be smart. Not someone who is stupid; just someone average.

To use an LSAT analogy, this guy is someone who would be scoring a 160 on the LSAT. Not bad, but not exactly burning it down either.

Posted by: A-Hole at March 02, 2013 10:41 PM (7BF56)

349
Erg, you can't just simply dismiss the volcano sequence - Paul Thomas Anderson included it prominently in the film to serve a narrative purpose, and any proper interpretation must account for it, even as it must make room for that lingering take on the eels boiling on the yacht galley stove.

Posted by: A. Pendragon at March 02, 2013 10:41 PM (wJliR)

350 you are the one who needs to understand the mysteries of the metaphors in order to deny what is pretty directly and concretely said by the film – the film is an intelligent critique of religion in America.

This is so obvious, hardly worth mentioning, except to you. You need a mystification to understand yourself as the intended audience for the film. But the film is a denouncement of knucklehead heroic independence. If you want to find a theme in his other films, this is the Master theme.

Just stop. Cuddle with Mother and watch Robert Downey Jr. movies.

Posted by: andrew breitbart at March 02, 2013 10:44 PM (BfXv+)

351 okay, I'll take that one and this one...

"Volcano"



Ubu knucklehead is hunting for metaphors.



I suggest you watch Laurie Ingraham and understand the heart of each
message through the prism of John Patmos in the book of revelations.




...

as enough to prove the point we were trying to prove.

Would you like to do the honors, BumperStickerist? Since this is Your Baby?

It's your honor.




Posted by: ace at March 02, 2013 10:45 PM (LCRYB)

352 Make it hurt.


Posted by: ace at March 02, 2013 10:45 PM (LCRYB)

353 well, I guess sometimes a volcano is "just a volcano" if you're a repressed espistemically clotured Bible thumper whose Worldview would be characterized as one of Weltzschmertzic Implacable-nss

and, with that, I bid you good night gentlemen, and erg.

Posted by: BumperStickerist at March 02, 2013 10:46 PM (9P+hO)

354 limited time offer, BumperStickerist. I gotta book to read.

Do it, put it out of its misery. Drive the knife in.


Posted by: ace at March 02, 2013 10:46 PM (LCRYB)

355 Well - one moment

Posted by: BumperStickerist at March 02, 2013 10:47 PM (9P+hO)

356 Jesus, this guy is dumber than a sack of shit. How can he not see it?

Posted by: A-Hole at March 02, 2013 10:47 PM (7BF56)

357 BumperStickerist, I'm giving you the Kill Shot.

Take the Kill Shot.


Posted by: ace at March 02, 2013 10:47 PM (LCRYB)

358
Seriously - an erupting volcano equated with "an intelligent critique of religion in America"?

That's on par with hand-waving the boiling pot of eels away as nothing more than phallocentric evocations of Fifties homophobia - you can do better than that, Erg.

Posted by: A. Pendragon at March 02, 2013 10:47 PM (wJliR)

359 LIEUTENNANT TAKE THE KILL SHOT OR YOUR WILL BE COURT MARTIALED!


Posted by: ace at March 02, 2013 10:48 PM (LCRYB)

360 Two points, erg.

I haven't seen the movie. I might Netflix it, but I have no clue what's in it.

I made up the 'volcano' scene.

The riffing that followed was just guys-having-fun at your expense.

Posted by: BumperStickerist at March 02, 2013 10:48 PM (9P+hO)

361 How sad. I didn't even see the movie and I see what's happening here. What a dumb mother fucker.

Posted by: A-Hole at March 02, 2013 10:49 PM (7BF56)

362 To quote Instapundit:

A Pack, Not a Herd.

_

Posted by: BumperStickerist at March 02, 2013 10:50 PM (9P+hO)

363 There is no fucking Volcano your idiot poser.

How the fuck you could believe that I have no idea. It was so outlandish that I scrambled my heart out to drag it into the realm of the plausible.

And then A. Pendragon throwing Crispin Glover in!

It was so obvious! WE WERE MAKING SHIT UP YOU FUCKING IDIOT.

How are you so stupid you didn't detect this?

Yeah but tell us all about the movie, asshole.

Tell us all about it.

Posted by: ace at March 02, 2013 10:50 PM (LCRYB)

364 Volcano= superego. and that's a little better then your "Volcano! Dianetics!" So what? This is an allusion to L Ron Hubbard? okay. You get + sign. Mother will be pleased when you arrive home from school.

Posted by: andrew breitbart at March 02, 2013 10:51 PM (BfXv+)

365 >>>How sad. I didn't even see the movie and I see what's happening here. What a dumb mother fucker.

I know! I had to talk in code about "losing our Intended Audience" to get everyone to take the insanity down a notch.

Only the IDIOT himself didn't pick up on that.

We were talking about YOU, Dolt. YOU were the "intended audience."

But parade around your scary intelligence and very refined aesthetic sense for us some more.

Moron.

Let me clear: Not only is there no volcano in the film, there is no MENTION of volcanos. They are never anywhere where there possibly COULD be a volcano. No Hawaii, no Polynesia. It's SF, Philadelphia, and New York City.

That's about it.

So the volcano IS a metaphor -- it's a metaphor for what a vapid, posturing idiot you are.

And the volcano done blown up.



Posted by: ace at March 02, 2013 10:53 PM (LCRYB)

366 Ummm.....

Posted by: Jmt at March 02, 2013 10:54 PM (b6878)

367 "volcano = superego"

Nice recovery.


Posted by: ace at March 02, 2013 10:55 PM (LCRYB)

368 even when you make shit up, in your clever digression, you still don't get it right.

Posted by: andrew breitbart at March 02, 2013 10:56 PM (BfXv+)

369 >>>
Volcano= superego. and that's a little better then your "Volcano!
Dianetics!" So what? This is an allusion to L Ron Hubbard? okay. You get
+ sign. Mother will be pleased when you arrive home from school.

I gave up on getting him to answer it directly, but he answered it directly AFTER I told him it was a con.

Geeze.

What an imbecile.

Must have a stellar internet connection too.


Posted by: ace at March 02, 2013 10:56 PM (LCRYB)

370 I actually thought you blew it by being TOO obvious and was wincing at the thought of him easily pointing it out. Nice play. I'm downgrading my LSAT estimation to 150. :/

Posted by: A-Hole at March 02, 2013 10:56 PM (7BF56)

371 Well, Kevin J. O'Connor's cameo was a bit volcanic, with the ferraiolo and all. And the pot of boiling eels looked like Super hot....

Posted by: A. Pendragon at March 02, 2013 10:57 PM (wJliR)

372 >>>even when you make shit up, in your clever digression, you still don't get it right.

Oh, there WAS a volcano? There WAS a girl thrown into a volcano in the movie?

I didn't know that.

Must have been in the post-credits sequence, like the out-takes in Cannonball Run.


Posted by: ace at March 02, 2013 10:57 PM (LCRYB)

373 Ummm, again, I just made up the whole "Volcano" thing as part of a comedic structure "A to B via Q"

I haven't seen the movie. Haven't seen a trailer for it in a hell of a long time.

Ace ran with the volcano thing - I hepped to his jive. And so we, ace, me, A. Pendragon, A-Hole Just. Made.Shit.Up.

Because whacking a pseudo-intellectual with actual intellect is fun.

I'd suggest you try it sometime, but as Kirk Douglas said "A Man Has Got To Know His Limitations"
_

Posted by: BumperStickerist at March 02, 2013 10:57 PM (9P+hO)

374 Ergie: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D1n5CQe1krI
Truly.

Posted by: Jmt at March 02, 2013 10:57 PM (b6878)

375 You are a Tragic Imbecile, erg.


Posted by: ace at March 02, 2013 10:59 PM (LCRYB)

376 all we need now is for erg to make the obligatory:

'I KNEW ALL ALONG YOU GUYS"

and we can go on about our business.

Posted by: BumperStickerist at March 02, 2013 11:00 PM (9P+hO)

377 Well, I've got a post for tomorrow afternoon!

Thank you, erg. If you had juuuuust walked away earlier A. Pendragon, BS, and I would have just been wasting our time trying to draw that out of you, and the joke would have been on us.

But you had to keep your stupid mouth running.

Didn't ya?

Posted by: ace at March 02, 2013 11:00 PM (LCRYB)

378 thanks for that, fellers. That was compelling and rich.


Posted by: ace at March 02, 2013 11:03 PM (LCRYB)

379 I'm sorry you spent so much time convincing yourself you were fooling somebody.

Posted by: andrew breitbart at March 02, 2013 11:03 PM (BfXv+)

380 What's it like to be average, erg?

Posted by: A-Hole at March 02, 2013 11:03 PM (7BF56)

381 ergie, what did you think of the part where Dracula raped Godzilla?


Posted by: ace at March 02, 2013 11:04 PM (LCRYB)

382 There you have it, BS. Timing couldn't be more perfect.

Posted by: A-Hole at March 02, 2013 11:04 PM (7BF56)

383 >>>I'm sorry you spent so much time convincing yourself you were fooling somebody.

You had me at "I'm sorry" and "you were fooling somebody"

Did you like the Robots in it? I thought they were a bit too retro myself.


Posted by: ace at March 02, 2013 11:05 PM (LCRYB)

384 ace - I wondered what happened to my "train through a volcano" post. Well played, sir. Well played.

and with that, good night. I have some God-bothering to do early tomorrow.

Well, technically I just have to hold a leg down during the ritual sacrifice, like in Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom. btw - I thought that was one of Shelley Long's finest roles.

Posted by: BumperStickerist at March 02, 2013 11:05 PM (9P+hO)

385 >>>I wondered what happened to my "train through a volcano" post. Well played, sir. Well played.

yeah that was a Big Old Delete.

Since you guys didn't see it, BumperStickerist had this comment about a train going through the volcano I deleted as being "so stupid not even erg could believe it."


Posted by: ace at March 02, 2013 11:07 PM (LCRYB)

386 I reserve the right to delete comments that go too far when we're Conning an Imbecile.


Posted by: ace at March 02, 2013 11:08 PM (LCRYB)

387 ergie, did you like the part where Queen Elizabeth showed Full Bush?


Posted by: ace at March 02, 2013 11:10 PM (LCRYB)

388 ergie, what did you think of Bigfoot's portrayal of Paul Bunyan?

Posted by: ace at March 02, 2013 11:12 PM (LCRYB)

389 thanks for the gag, BS.


Posted by: ace at March 02, 2013 11:12 PM (LCRYB)

390 you are childishly satisfied that you believe you fooled me.

Whatever.the truth is, you don't have anything to say about the. Still, you can only say that you don't understand the film. That's where we're at – you, trying to explain what is "interesting" about the film.

Posted by: andrew breitbart at March 02, 2013 11:15 PM (BfXv+)

391 snarf giggle larf laugh

What did you think about the cameo by Knight Rider?

Posted by: ace at March 02, 2013 11:16 PM (LCRYB)

392 not david hasselhof, mind you. Michael Knight showed up at the 1:24.00 mark, driving around KITT on his way to catch bank robbers.


Posted by: ace at March 02, 2013 11:17 PM (LCRYB)

393 tomorrow we will have a post called "Erg vs. The Volcano."


Posted by: ace at March 02, 2013 11:18 PM (LCRYB)

394 Erg, are you so stupid that you think we'd believe you wouldn't have lept at the chance to expose Ace on the volcano thing?

I mean, use some basic logic. You have NO problem now overtly denying that you weren't fooled, yet you were incredibly oblique earlier. How does that jibe?

Why are you so interested in directly denying your confusion now, yet couldn't do so before it came out? Is your defense that you are too stupid to have recognize they were trying to trick you earlier? Which is it?

Posted by: A-Hole at March 02, 2013 11:19 PM (7BF56)

395 a-hole, he was more than "oblique" about it. When pressed to explain the metaphor, he instructed us that "volcano=superego."

I mean, DUH. Of course the volcano was a metaphor for the superego!!!! I mean, how basic!


Posted by: ace at March 02, 2013 11:20 PM (LCRYB)

396 By the way:

In what universe would a volcano ever be a metaphor for the superego?

It would be a metaphor for the id, for God's sake. The superego would be like... the boulder Superman sticks in the volcano to keep it from erupting.

Even his make-'em-up bullshit is stupid.


Posted by: ace at March 02, 2013 11:23 PM (LCRYB)

397 I agree, but surely that his defense: "I was being subtle! But I knew all along everyone!" My point is, even given that premise, how that does that make any kind of sense given his current and past behavior? What a maroon.

Posted by: A-Hole at March 02, 2013 11:23 PM (7BF56)

398
Ace - many thanks for the opportunity to participate in this - quite fun, and quite a reminder of the Antarctica Now and Stuff Jefferson Said threads.

Oh, and Erg, check the deleted scenes in the Director's Cut for the boiling eels segment and see if you can account for that in any coherent narrative sense.

Posted by: A. Pendragon at March 02, 2013 11:24 PM (wJliR)

399 id = animal spirit, libido, chaos, fire, anger, emotion, lust, explosiveness

superego = higher order self, control. social codes, inhibitions, coolness, reason, restraint

volcano = not existing in this film


Posted by: ace at March 02, 2013 11:24 PM (LCRYB)

400 I think erg's superego is stuck so far up his ass it's licking his id.


Posted by: ace at March 02, 2013 11:26 PM (LCRYB)

401 >>>Ace - many thanks for the opportunity to participate in this - quite
fun, and quite a reminder of the Antarctica Now and Stuff Jefferson Said
threads.

yeah it was great, thanks for helping Dupe the Dupe


Posted by: ace at March 02, 2013 11:27 PM (LCRYB)

402 Wait. So, you're saying there isn't a volcano??

Posted by: A-Hole at March 02, 2013 11:28 PM (7BF56)

403 It's there, but only in the Blu-Ray edition.

Posted by: A. Pendragon at March 02, 2013 11:31 PM (wJliR)

404 I can't wait to tell him there really IS a volcano.


Posted by: ace at March 02, 2013 11:31 PM (LCRYB)

405 It's more of a caldera, really, isn't it?

Posted by: A. Pendragon at March 02, 2013 11:33 PM (wJliR)

406 I think that's what it was. Really just a crater with some smoke. No actual magma. Though it wouldn't be too smart to go down into it.


Posted by: ace at March 02, 2013 11:34 PM (LCRYB)

407 >>>My point is, even given that premise, how that does that make any kind
of sense given his current and past behavior? What a maroon.

it makes no sense, because he's a senseless dolt.

The volcano effects were actually pretty good, though.


Posted by: ace at March 02, 2013 11:37 PM (LCRYB)

408 You should have played a deep game and picked on something actually in the movie. Next time maybe.

Posted by: A-Hole at March 02, 2013 11:37 PM (7BF56)

409 I'm calling the producers of Catfish.


Posted by: ace at March 02, 2013 11:37 PM (LCRYB)

410 Well now I'm going to beat off to the pink-haired girl in King of the Nerds, so who's really the winner here? Not me.


Posted by: ace at March 02, 2013 11:39 PM (LCRYB)

411 Was the magma super saturated? I'd pay to see that.

Posted by: A-Hole at March 02, 2013 11:39 PM (7BF56)

412
That's it - I think it's supposed to evoke the fissure beneath the Temple at Delphi where the Oracle descends to seek revelation from the Gods.

But more dangerous, and fiery-like.

Posted by: A. Pendragon at March 02, 2013 11:40 PM (wJliR)

413 >>>I think it's supposed to evoke the fissure beneath the Temple at Delphi
where the Oracle descends to seek revelation from the Gods.

The actual fissure or the fissure's superego?


Posted by: ace at March 02, 2013 11:40 PM (LCRYB)

414
I'd go with it being the fissure's anima, but then again I'm more of a neo-Jungian geologist. Sometimes a Continental Shelf is just a Continental Shelf, you know?

Posted by: A. Pendragon at March 02, 2013 11:47 PM (wJliR)

415 Ace,

I had a very similar reaction to The Master. The beginning held such promise. There was this ominous undertone, and it felt like something very important was bound to unfold as the narrative progressed. But the problem is that the narrative never actually did progress.
It's a pointless film. There is no take away.
As far as the production values are concerned, it's an excellent period piece. And as you point out, the cinematography is marvelously gorgeous.
But it is as though the whole point was to give the audience a 'privileged' glimpse into the meandering lives of some potentially dangerous and highly eccentric fools. But nothing much dangerous or even particularly interesting ever happens.

My best guess is that Anderson really thought it was something to show his audience how crazy these characters are and just how serious they take themselves. I sum up Anderson's big wow factor as: Ignorant Eccentricity.
You see, it's his characters out-of-touchness that we're supposed to appreciate so highly. Wasn't it just mind blowing that these weird characters had no idea how clueless they were? Wasn't that just spectacular to behold? Sure nothing important actually happens in the story, but that was part of the story's genius! These ignorant characters aren't capable of making anything important happen, not even interesting bad things. See how simply amazing that is! And the character relationships! Now that's where the story telling genius is not only complex but profoundly subtle. As an audience, we thrill at seeing how these two clueless weirdos proceed to reach out to one another (sometimes) and try and resolve their insurmountably eccentric weirdness. And then of course, we bear witness to the bizarre 'tragedy' that ultimately they just can't. - There it is. That's the big take away.

Wouldn't it be wonderful to have M Night Shyamalan and Paul Thomas Anderson team up and make a four and a half hour epic film about the life and times of Andy Warhol? Oliver Stone could produce it.
Meth addicts and acid freaks everywhere could use a movie like that to come down off a bad session.


Posted by: _Dave_ at March 03, 2013 01:48 AM (J+Q+d)

416 Joachim? Seriously?

It's Joaquin.

Posted by: JohnKerryIsADoucheBag at March 03, 2013 02:59 AM (l7fAH)

417 Good lulz.

Posted by: Seal Team 69 at March 03, 2013 06:48 PM (WNgAm)

418 a day later and the Schaden is still Erg-tastic

Posted by: Frank G at March 03, 2013 06:54 PM (cJqu0)

419 The volcano is an attempt at a transformative hermeneutics of superego.

Posted by: rdbrewer at March 03, 2013 06:59 PM (Iyg03)

420 Well, at least it wasn't a volcano volcano...

Snarf.

Posted by: Whoopie Cushin at March 03, 2013 07:05 PM (aYeLo)

421 Volcano? Serious you guys!

Posted by: Erg, Ergo, ass-clown at March 03, 2013 07:18 PM (PKRPm)

422 I think the volcano represents the patriarchal repression of the female reproductive system, as evidenced by western religious mythology, and that's why I don't have children. And also why I winter in Scotland.

Posted by: Ashley Judd at March 03, 2013 07:21 PM (PKRPm)

423 Wait, I thought the Volcano symbolized PTA's pride in his own vagina? I mean, it's one thing to post a pic of your vajay on a random website. But an entire volcanic montage thrown in as a callback to your own veej? Bold.

Posted by: Turd Ferguson at March 03, 2013 07:34 PM (Uvnw+)

424 Yous gus are right wing knuckleheads unfit for movin' pitchers. I, on the other hand, would prefer to use this opportunity to learn. I have a few questions for erg, poet, literary critic and genius:

1- In James Cameron's Titanic, what is the significance of the colossal ape, chained in the engine room, that powers the ship's propellers? Is this, as I have often said, a symbolic representation of the thwarted ambitions of the working class?

2- In Gone with the Wind, why does the notorious card cheat and prostitute Sally Three Fingers chase Dorothy's dog, Toto, into a storm cellar and lock the door, with the declaration that 'now it is I who have all the Funions?'

3- In the recent Smurfs feature film, what is the symbolic significance of the phrase 'The black blood burns like living fire' spoken by a depairing Papa Smurf in darkness, as he is finally compelled to look inward and confront the desolation wrought by his insane hubris?

Do tell us , Erg, you utter fucking retard

Posted by: Amos Keeto at March 03, 2013 07:36 PM (Wf8bk)

425 The Zombies in 'Warm Bodies" had a lot more personality and depth of character development than any of the characters in "The Master" did.

The funny part is, that's not a joke.

Posted by: Tom Servo at March 03, 2013 07:52 PM (hTDbY)

426 Mr. Erg, please tell me your thoughts about your volcano.

Posted by: GW Bush, M.D. at March 03, 2013 09:05 PM (eHIJJ)

427 I got a volcano right here you guys.

Posted by: Helen Thomas's Sulfurous Crotch at March 03, 2013 09:10 PM (m2IdD)

428 427 wins.

Posted by: RedWhiteandTrue at March 03, 2013 10:04 PM (ckc09)

429 Thanks for ruining the ending! At least add a spoiler alert before you talk about the alien landing at the end of Lincoln.

Posted by: Mozam at March 03, 2013 11:31 PM (A5oSi)

430 404
I can't wait to tell him there really IS a volcano.




Posted by: ace at March 02, 2013 11:31 PM (LCRYB)

OK that was the funniest f'ing comment on this thread. Still giggling about it today.
Good times, good times. You guys rock.

Posted by: the ghost of Walker Percy at March 04, 2013 10:36 AM (whMsz)

431 I know I don't want to see a movie where Dracula rapes Godzilla. That would be raping my childhood.

The Master?

No thank you!

Posted by: eleven at March 04, 2013 10:54 AM (KXm42)

432 >>368
even when you make shit up, in your clever digression, you still don't get it right.

I thought this was the saddest thing I'd read all day.

Then I read his next post.....

Posted by: Dodd at March 04, 2013 03:25 PM (1Fg31)

433 Erg, I waggle my dick in your general direction.

Posted by: Roger Ebert at March 08, 2013 10:46 PM (tfrQl)

434 Late to the party, but better late than never. Too many folks in this day and age mistake a quip tongue for intelligence. That's how people like SCFOAMF get elected and re-elected. History is replete with well-spoken ganders who con their way through life. Fortunately, some of us see through it all. Well played, ace et al.

Posted by: Foul Harold at March 09, 2013 09:36 AM (Uj/f4)






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