The Most Magical $85 Billion Dollars In The History Of The World

Listening to the reporting around the looming sequestration cuts, you'd think that this particular $85 billion dollars was the only thing standing between humanity and a return to some sort of Hobbesian state of nature^.

Just as a bit of context, remember that a scant 26 months ago, the Republican Party won a landslide series of House races running on a promise to cut $100 billion from that year's budget (roughly with the same time left in the fiscal year). Of curse they caved and we never saw any such cuts but still, the idea that $85 Billion in cuts from $1 trillion in discretionary spending (or about half of that at this point in the year) is so beyond the realm of the possible is laughable. Naturally, spending that kind of money is as easy as pie.

Since this $85 billion is key to continued existence of humanity, I think it's only fair that the government workers, MSM and of course the Democrats have something to rally to as they fight to save humanity. So with apologies to Mr. Tolkien I offer this battle cry...

“Hold your ground, hold your ground! Sons of Spending, of Government Service Pay Grades, my brothers! I see in your eyes the same fear that would take the heart of me. A day may come when the spending of Americans fails, when we forsake redistribution and break all bonds of government pay checks, but it is not this day. An hour of woes and tea party protests, when the age of spending comes crashing down! But it is not this day! This day we fight! By all that you hold dear in this good Budget, I bid you stand, Men of Washington, D.C.!”


*Thanks to Kevin in ABQ for correcting my mistake.

Posted by: DrewM. at 12:22 PM



Comments

1 This country is so freaking mismanaged it makes me sick.

Lower taxes, drill for oil, disband the epa, etc. Do that and this country would be fucking great again.

Posted by: I chase him - I bite him at February 25, 2013 12:24 PM (6J6x7)

2 These aren't furloughs .. they are FUNloughs !!

Posted by: James Madison at February 25, 2013 12:25 PM (e8kgV)

3 And even WITH this 85 B.... because many programs are not cut... Total Goverment Spending STILL goes up...

Posted by: Romeo13 at February 25, 2013 12:26 PM (lZBBB)

4 Fire.
More Fire.
Repeat as often as necessary.

Posted by: NR Pax at February 25, 2013 12:27 PM (1ml8s)

5 2 These aren't furloughs .. they are FUNloughs !!


Posted by: James Madison at February 25, 2013 12:25 PM (e8kgV)


LOL.... Lady Friend works for a School District in Administration... she has a bunch of furlough days stacked up from a prior Fiscal Problem.....

Andddd.... she just got a metrosexual boss she HATES.... so.... she has scheduled furlogh days off... every Friday... for the next 3 months...

THAT is a Funlough!

Posted by: Romeo13 at February 25, 2013 12:28 PM (lZBBB)

6 Hobbesian state of nature, Drew.

Posted by: Kevin in ABQ at February 25, 2013 12:28 PM (XrGnJ)

7 The is the dawning of the Age of FUNloughs and FUNemployment.

Posted by: Pisces at February 25, 2013 12:29 PM (e8kgV)

8 Remember, when it's a tax increase, it's just pennies a day....

But when it's a tax cut... OMG OMGOMGOMG SUCH DRACONIAN CUTS WILL DESTROY US ALL!11!!ELEVENTY!!11!

Posted by: wiserbud at February 25, 2013 12:29 PM (WCe8r)

9 This is very telling - the same bureaucrats who are supposedly the avatars of compassion and wisdom in our society are the first to take the people under their "care" hostage.

Posted by: gwelf at February 25, 2013 12:30 PM (+7Usq)

10 Hobbesian state of nature, Drew.

He may have meant free range telescopes.

Posted by: pep at February 25, 2013 12:30 PM (YXmuI)

11 And it's not even a true cut, merely a reduction in budget increase.

Posted by: Quilly at February 25, 2013 12:30 PM (0U4t/)

12 make that "spending cut"...


Posted by: wiserbud at February 25, 2013 12:31 PM (WCe8r)

13 Trying to get government bureaucrats to part with a penny is like watching one of the hard-core cases on 'Hoarders'. The ones where the hoarder is staring at a pile of poop-encrusted McDonald's styrofoam boxes and empty pop bottles and the therapist begs, "Can we get rid of THIS one?' "NO!! I might NEED that crushed plastic bottle! I have plans for that 2-year old used diaper! I need it ALL! Every single thing!"

Posted by: Dr. Mabuse at February 25, 2013 12:31 PM (FkH4y)

14 "I am Barack Obama. And I see a whole free shit army of my subjects' countrymen, here in defiance of tiny budget cuts! You have come to fight as enslaved men. And enslaved man you are! What will you do without free shit? Will you fight?"

"53% against 47?" - the veteran FSA soldier shouted. "No! We will run - and live!"

"Yes!" Barack shouted back. "Fight and you may die. Run and you will live at least awhile. And dying in your bed many years from now, would you be willing to trade all the days from this day to that for one chance, just one chance, to come back here as young hoodlums and thugs and tell our enemies that they may take our lives but they will never take our welfare checks!"

Posted by: HoboJerky, now with 45% more DOOM! at February 25, 2013 12:32 PM (xAtAj)

15 Remember, we have to stop all this austerity because it's killing our economy.


So say-eth our Keynesian masters...

Posted by: cajun carrot at February 25, 2013 12:32 PM (UZQM8)

16 I'm planning on being a warlord by the end of the weekend. anyone in the NoVa area that wants in, let me know.

Posted by: DCPensFan at February 25, 2013 12:33 PM (ma/2m)

17 Reposted from the last threat:


Since this is SEQUESTRATION WEEK, is it asking too much to expect that
weeping tan pile of shit to have put together a list of things for which
cutting THE RATE OF SPENDING INCREASES can be done painlessly to
counter the same fucking sob stories that the JEF will claim will
happen?

Posted by: Captain Hate at February 25, 2013 12:34 PM (UYfkz)

18 Theoretically, when the cuts kick in and the sky doesn't fall, the chicken little dems lose credibility.

In reality, Boehner and McConnell will cave. Seriously, a certain puffy faced, beaver flashing Kappa Kappa Gamma wouldn't be that big a downgrade over our current Kentucky turtle senator.

Posted by: wooga at February 25, 2013 12:34 PM (7SwK/)

19 CNN was on a tv at a rest stop the other day. The anchorette was going down the list of all the horrors that sequestration will bring. I finally started screaming at the tv when she said people who lost their roofs during Sandy would not be able to replace them. FFS, who the hell is sitting in a house without a roof for 3 months waiting for Congress to work something out on sequestration?!?

Posted by: mugiwara at February 25, 2013 12:34 PM (qWDtK)

20 We can't stop now! We're only $85 billion away from prosperity!

Posted by: WalrusRex at February 25, 2013 12:35 PM (Hx5uv)

21 There's no reality in America anymore

Posted by: Soona at February 25, 2013 12:35 PM (ooFRq)

22 Of curse they caved and we never saw any such cuts

ISWYDT

Posted by: toby928© for TB at February 25, 2013 12:36 PM (QupBk)

23 What budget?


FFS, who the hell is sitting in a house without a roof for 3 months waiting for Congress to work something out on sequestration?!?
Posted by: mugiwara at February 25, 2013 12:34 PM (qWDtK)



All of the people who are dependent upon disaster relief funds to pay for their roof. I forget who it is, but there's a PJ Media writer who is providing updates on the utterly Orwellian experiences he is having in trying to get his house repaired post-Sandy.

Posted by: alexthechick - Chaotic Evil Hobbit. at February 25, 2013 12:36 PM (VtjlW)

24 So everyone that gets a paycheck has 2% less take home this year that we need to cut from our budgets but the feds can't cut 4%?

Posted by: Buzzsaw at February 25, 2013 12:38 PM (81UWZ)

25 Obama Nov 21, 2011: "I will veto ANY attempt to prevent thesequester."

They say this cat Obama is a bad mother
SHUT YOUR MOUTH!
I'm talkin' 'bout Obama.
THEN WE CAN DIG IT!

Posted by: John Shaft at February 25, 2013 12:38 PM (e8kgV)

26 The Fed prints $85 a month to buy more of our worthless T-bills. They can find it. They just don't want to.

Posted by: EC at February 25, 2013 12:38 PM (58gfT)

27 Listening to news on way in this morning and announcer claimed that the sequester would result in California losing 85 billion in federal funding. So I guess the rest of the States will be OK.

Posted by: BuckIV at February 25, 2013 12:38 PM (gedHR)

28 If The Magical $85 Billion are the most awesome, let's keep them and ditch the rest.

The remaining $1 trillion we can review on a case-by-case basis.

That way we get to keep the good stuff.

Posted by: t-bird at February 25, 2013 12:39 PM (FcR7P)

29 It's worse. It's only roughly 45 Bil in immediate cuts. The rest comes years down the line.

It's a sham.

Let the sequester happen. I've already lost my current funding due to it, but if we can't cut this small bit now, there's no way we are surviving in 20 years.

Posted by: HoboJerky, now with 45% more DOOM! at February 25, 2013 12:39 PM (xAtAj)

30 27
Listening to news on way in this morning and announcer claimed that the
sequester would result in California losing 85 billion in federal
funding. So I guess the rest of the States will be OK.


Posted by: BuckIV at February 25, 2013 12:38 PM (gedHR)

Nope, MI would 140 million

Posted by: Run Away as fast as you can at February 25, 2013 12:40 PM (FIDMq)

31 One does not simply cut $85 billion dollars in federal spending.

Posted by: Boromir at February 25, 2013 12:40 PM (WDySP)

32 Sooooo, has anyone bothered to slash off all the zeroes from the trillions and the billions and inform the proles that "$85 billion from $1 trillion is the equivalent of shaving $8.50 off your next $100 grocery bill. In other words, leave off the pre-made pizza and bottle of ginger ale and you've accomplished what the fucking government can't do to save their lives."

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Assault Hobbit at February 25, 2013 12:41 PM (CA2NO)

33 Which is why we need to introduce the FAT Act, Fairness and Accuracy in Taxation Act.

Basically it'd be like an assessment in a homeowners association. Whenever an HOA has a shortfall or a debt, they do an assessment to pay it off.

$16 trillion paid off in ten years, that's the promise.

In practice, F U, LIVs and refunds.

Let the Dems whine and explain why everyone doesnt need to pay their fair share now.

Posted by: RoyalOil at February 25, 2013 12:41 PM (VjL9S)

34 I'm planning on being a warlord by the end of the weekend. anyone in the NoVa area that wants in, let me know.
Posted by: DCPensFan at February 25, 2013 12:33 PM (ma/2m)


Just remember to swear allegiance to Her Imperial Majesty Alex Stompyboots I of Alextopia. She tolerates no competition.

Posted by: The Wannsee Conference at February 25, 2013 12:43 PM (zF6Iw)

35 Yeah, i was thinking this morning, based on the bang for the the buck with this 85B, our entire budget shouldn't be more than what, maybe 240B?

Just in time for the stompening I see.

Posted by: Roland THTG at February 25, 2013 12:45 PM (QM5S2)

36 Dammit. Off genocidal sock.

Posted by: Mary Poppins' Practically Perfect Piercing at February 25, 2013 12:45 PM (zF6Iw)

37 Washington, D.C.!”


Washington, D.C.? Where dat?

It's District of Columbia (at least on the licence plates.)

Posted by: RWC at February 25, 2013 12:46 PM (fWAjv)

38 $85 Billion? That doesn't even cover the cost of Obama's drone wars.

Posted by: Fritz at February 25, 2013 12:47 PM (WM+rJ)

39 Just a reminder. At an estimated budget of 3.8 trillion for FY Oct 12-Sept 13, the feds spend $10.4 billion dollars per day. Previous FY came in at $3.796 trillion, slightly less than requested amounts for the current FY.

That $85 billion ain't magic, but the hysteria certainly is.

Posted by: simple arithmetic at February 25, 2013 12:48 PM (Lxw+T)

40 BuckIV,

Ha!

I'm liking Texas more and more everyday. The libs have ruined Colorado too.

Posted by: Prepositions Fists And A Point at February 25, 2013 12:49 PM (U7Ivf)

41 EXTORTION.
.
They do this every time at every level of government. Threaten to cut only "vital services" to scare people into giving them more money to waste.
.
This should be the number one GOP talking point right now.
.
It's almost like they're in on it.
.
Party power may not last forever, but the ratchet only turns one way. It doesn't reverse when the reins are handed over, the handle spins the other way without effect.

Posted by: Merovign, Dark Lord of the Sith's mobile at February 25, 2013 12:49 PM (LNKYa)

42 "Just remember to swear allegiance to Her Imperial Majesty Alex Stompyboots I of Alextopia. She tolerates no competition."

I picked up a baby seal at the national zoo's liquidation sale. I'll sent it to her as a gift.

Posted by: DCPensFan at February 25, 2013 12:53 PM (ma/2m)

43 And this is because people in general loose perspective on such large amounts of money. 1 million? 1 billion? 1 trillion? Eh it's just a lot of money beyond a certain point. The Dem's use this to their advantage at every turn. Bring up the 1 trillion dollar deficit and they just psshaw and say it's just a drop in the bucket. But then turn that on it's head and say "We'll then cutting 85 billion should be a piece of cake then?" And they scream to the rafters that you don't want to feed the baby seals at the National zoo with your draconian cuts. You see when it's spending then it's just some number, but when you want to cut back it's every dollar for themselves.

Posted by: HeftyJo at February 25, 2013 12:58 PM (1oE9r)

44 depends where the cuts are, of course x% may not sound like a lot but if it's targeted badly it could still eff certain things up

Posted by: JDP at February 25, 2013 01:00 PM (60GaT)

45 32 In other words, leave off the pre-made pizza and bottle of ginger ale and you've accomplished what the fucking government can't do to save their lives.

------------

Or just the six-pack of ginger ale if you live in NYC, where 2-liter bottles are outlawed and only outlaws have 2-liter bottles.

Posted by: Attack Citizen Anachronda at February 25, 2013 01:03 PM (NmR1a)

46 Merovign:

"They do this every time at every level of government. Threaten to cut only "vital services" to scare people into giving them more money to waste."

Oh yeah.

When I was in high school, we had a field trip to see our state representatives. Basically the kiddies were scripted to beg that school funding not be cut, because of all the fine things we'd lose, and the legislators would say, Right! So talk to your parents, talk to their fellow voters about the tax restrictions (even our deep-blue voters had had enough) that stop us from raising taxes to pay for it all!

I went off-script. "So why is education funding the first thing you cut?" I asked a guy I'd never heard of, with several full-time public relations aides in his outer office. He kind of stammered.

Posted by: JPS at February 25, 2013 01:05 PM (9DsRp)

47 I doubt it could fuck things up more than ongoing trillion dollar deficits.

Posted by: Merovign, Dark Lord of the Sith's mobile at February 25, 2013 01:06 PM (LNKYa)

48 > I went off-script. "So why is education funding the first thing you
cut?" I asked a guy I'd never heard of, with several full-time public
relations aides in his outer office. He kind of stammered.

We had an assembly when I was in high school with the superintendent to get us to pressure our parents to vote for a referendum and talked about the programs they'd cut if they didn't get the money. They asked for questions so I pointed out in my question that 45% of the district budget went to administrative costs and asked if perhaps there weren't a few special little snowflakes and pet programs at the district office that couldn't be cut/laid off to meet the numbers before chopping band, etc. Question time ended after that.

Posted by: Lemmenkainen, Freelance Warlord at February 25, 2013 01:18 PM (ZWvOb)

49 The absurdity gets worse.

Last night listening to KFI 640 here in SoCal, a news report said that because of the sequester, the education budget would have to be slashed by $50 billion.

The entire 'sequester' is at MOST $85 billion

They don't even care if the math works. This has become worse than an onion story. The ABC 50 worst story is beyond parity

What does this say about society? I need to know, because I cannot relate to ANYTHING being said, or the fake fear thats being generated. I feel like an alien on my own planet

Posted by: Just the Facts at February 25, 2013 01:19 PM (4pEBT)

50
thanks Drew for an important post with just a dash of funny, thats why I keep coming back to this site.

Posted by: Shoey at February 25, 2013 01:32 PM (jdOk/)

51 During my several decades of active duty in this man's Navy, I never met a GS or SES who wasn't a major pain in the ass or obstacle to be worked around.

Always ready with 6 thousand and 2 reasons why something can't be done. And, never schedule a meeting to start after 1500 because the van pools leave at 1600.

The worst were the sanctimonious fat heads who were always reminding me that: a) they're ex Army, Navy, USAF Marines, etc. etc.; b) they could be making 16 gozillion dollars in the private sector tomorrow; and c) because of a and b, they're sooo much more patriotic than I am.

By the way, there IS such a thing as an ex Marine - anyone who leaves the Corps and becomes a GS is an ex, I say again, ex Marine.

Rant complete. Carry out the plan of the day.

Posted by: VADM(Red) Cuthbert Collingwood (Mentioned In Dispatches) at February 25, 2013 01:32 PM (p4U6S)

52 VADM Collingwood:

"During my several decades of active duty in this man's Navy, I never met a GS or SES who wasn't a major pain in the ass or obstacle to be worked around."

In my much shorter time in the Army and Army Reserve, I've found DA civilians to be a bimodal distribution:

1) One group pretty much sucks. They do the minimum that their rules permit, and are fully aware there isn't a damn thing you can do about it.

2) The other group are the absolute salt of the earth, and will drop everything to do as much for you as they can, which is a lot because they know the system and recognize your problem when you're hitting a wall.

I firmly believe there is no such thing as a mediocre DA civilian.

Posted by: JPS at February 25, 2013 01:37 PM (9DsRp)

53 The Army is better at everything. Could be a law, I don't know.

Posted by: VADM(Red) Cuthbert Collingwood (Mentioned In Dispatches) at February 25, 2013 01:40 PM (p4U6S)

54
$85 billion dollars was the only thing standing between humanity and a return to some sort of Hobbesian state of nature

Turn it over to Hobbes. I don't see how a six year old cartoon child's stuffed tiger could do any worse than the current clusterfuck in chief.

What?

Posted by: I R A Darth Aggie ® at February 25, 2013 01:49 PM (1hM1d)

55 I R A Darth Aggie:

"Turn it over to Hobbes. I don't see how a six year old cartoon child's stuffed tiger could do any worse than the current clusterfuck in chief."

Arguably we're already being governed according to the rules of Calvinball.

Posted by: JPS at February 25, 2013 01:59 PM (9DsRp)

56 Third look at Magick Platinum Coin (TM)?

Posted by: MixtNuts at February 25, 2013 02:08 PM (/3KtX)

57 "Obama Administration Warns of Cuts at Non-Existent Agency"- http://bit.ly/Xa8uCV

Posted by: 80sBaby at February 25, 2013 02:17 PM (YjDyJ)

58 Given that this 85 gigabucks is the pillar of humanity hopes and comforts - and accomplishes everything desirable, I vote we put it back in.
And delete the rest of the spending which we clearly don't need.

Posted by: chuckR at February 25, 2013 02:19 PM (WE9pd)

59 Why does Drew lump all government workers together into one big pile of uselessness?
News flash motherfucker - NOT ALL of us sit behind a desk looking at a computer screen (like YOU do, Drew).
I retired from 24 years of military service - but I still need money and the only skills I have are linked to my current government job. I just spent 40 days in the Persian Gulf you asswipe - doing the kind of things we all want done to keep the Iranians in the box. My job is difficult - and dangerous.
And not only that - but there are thousands of govvie workers just like me - who are out there every day doing something to help fight the GWOT - while wearing "civvies".
And guess what? I'm all for letting the sequester hit the wall. $85 billion? Who gives a shit - cut it! Even if I have to go on unpaid furlough I'm willing to do it to help get this nation out of the dire straights it's in right now. I am not the only one that works for the government who believes that either. I am NOT a member of any union - the Union guy threw me out of the mandatory meeting for union recruitment that I had to attend when I was hired. Most of the people I work with - are not members of the union.
My pay's been frozen for like three mother fuckin' years - I'm GOOD with that.
And then, for all that we deal with - we get to have the BRAVE AND MIGHTY DREW throw shit in our faces.
Thanks a lot mother fucker!

Posted by: Krulac at February 25, 2013 02:58 PM (8X9tr)

60 $85 billion is one month of QE3. One month. Government is borrowing at $180 million per hour. $85 billion is a bit less than twenty days of this. It is chump change.

Posted by: David Gillies at February 25, 2013 03:50 PM (ECf6n)

61 Krulak...just chill. Drew doesn't have a clue about federal appropriations, how it's seperated out in different year money, the color of it and all that good stuff. Suffice to say, sequestration will hit defense harder than any other organiation. Most of these other agencies get their funding in multi-year money...they'll spend what expires this year, and carry over the rest and their employees will get to work OT to make amends for the 22 days of funlough. That or they can change the programming of those dollars and spend it on different stuff. Government savings on those $$$$ = 0000.00. The defense department though will be reamed. We are looking at 340 planesand 780 engines not being repaired due to the cuts in OMN.

Posted by: Hamish at February 25, 2013 05:37 PM (jwqOs)

62 @Hamish, it's not just Drew, it's the majority of people commenting on this blog and everywhere else. All the sudden everyone's a fucking expert. It's one if the things that pisses me off the most. Like the whole, "but it's only like cutting $85 out of $325,000" BS or whatever calculation they're using this hour. Or that ridiculously dishonest chart that was floating around Twitter. It's more like cutting $50 out of your $60 food budget because you just HAVE to pay for the cable. The cuts aren't hitting the whole budget, and they are both disproportionately and indiscriminately hittingDefense areas.

Posted by: Ms. Michigan at February 25, 2013 07:59 PM (DJp+r)

63
"The cuts aren't hitting the whole budget, and they are both disproportionately and indiscriminately hitting Defense areas. "
Bingo....that is the plan.

Posted by: Hamish at February 25, 2013 09:45 PM (jwqOs)






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