Katie Couric: Larry King Tried to Heckle Me

Or, "lunged at me," as she says.

After dinner, King drove them back to his apartment where he tried to put the moves on her. “So we sat there and what can I say, he lunged,” Couric said (to the delight/horror of everyone watching probably.)

Couric explained the bizarre meet-up: “I was a whore."

Wait, I'm sorry, there was a glitch in the copy-edit function on that last sentence; she didn't say that. She said something like "I wanted to meet new people" or something. Like men 23 years her senior who just happened to have some power in her industry.

I wish I could change that bad copy-paste error but damnit, I just don't have the time.

...

After having a “nice enough time,” they left the restaurant together. Noticing that King wasn’t driving towards her home, she recalled saying, “‘Larry, where are we going?’ And he said, ‘My place.’”

“I was like, 'Oh mother of god.' I was like 'Dear, Cosmo what do I do?' I was only 30, I could not figure out how to extricate myself from it.”

"So I wound up mounting him, and as I was doing so, he barked out, 'Go vagina, you're live,' like my ladynethers were some housewife from Duluth or something," she said.

Again, sorry, she doesn't say that, she says she "quickly rebuffed" his advance. Again, copy-paste error.

via @uproxx at Uproxx.com.

In related news, Larry King and Katie Couric are now "Twinsies!," I think it's called.

Posted by: Ace at 04:40 PM



Comments

1 I think I just threw up a little.

Posted by: JEM at February 01, 2013 04:42 PM (o+SC1)

2 Kate Upton on a trampoline! Kate Upton on a trampoline!


Oh God! Even that's not working!


Avenge me!

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD. Team Stompy. at February 01, 2013 04:42 PM (VtjlW)

3 I like your style of reportage. Well done!

Posted by: museisluse at February 01, 2013 04:42 PM (G4YiV)

4 Dear god, first horses and stools, and now this?

Posted by: The Last One at February 01, 2013 04:43 PM (MDQQ7)

5 Ace, you write like a fabulist.

Or is it a journalist?

I get them mixed up.

Sometimes I think they're the same thing.

Posted by: John P. Squibob at February 01, 2013 04:44 PM (kqqGm)

6 Hey! You gotta post that pic of Katie Couric dirty dancing with this post!

Posted by: Bigby's Ham Sammich Fist at February 01, 2013 04:44 PM (3ZtZW)

7 So the contention here is that turtles lust after hobbits?

Posted by: sven10077 at February 01, 2013 04:44 PM (p7whR)

8 Now we know how Larry King got his start as an amateur proctologist.

Posted by: Gristle Encased Head at February 01, 2013 04:44 PM (+lsX1)

9 I think it's perfectly reasonable for the blog reader at home to wonder about or debate whether it was a copy error or if in fact she actually said that. Right, NBC?

Posted by: Truman North: pay up, sucka at February 01, 2013 04:44 PM (6nHiD)

10 I wonder how far his balls hang.

Posted by: Andrew at February 01, 2013 04:45 PM (Aif/5)

11

Can we get some colonoscopy jokes? I know they're out there, but can't put my finger on it.

Posted by: imp at February 01, 2013 04:45 PM (UaxA0)

12 Hey! You gotta post that pic of Katie Couric dirty dancing with this post!
Posted by: Bigby's Ham Sammich Fist at February 01, 2013 04:44 PM (3ZtZW)



Like hell you do.

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD. Team Stompy. at February 01, 2013 04:45 PM (VtjlW)

13 Hence the resentment towards any other woman who has obtained fortune and power without having to sleep their way to it.

Posted by: Mikey NTH - there on Thunder Island! at February 01, 2013 04:45 PM (hLRSq)

14 Picturing Larry King having sex is just disgusting

Posted by: Alan Greenspan at February 01, 2013 04:45 PM (F6KtL)

15 Too late! It's out there now. Katie Couric is a whore!

Darn those copy-paste errors. Darn them to heck!

Posted by: Marmo at February 01, 2013 04:46 PM (QW+AD)

16 That colon is like catnip to zombies.

Posted by: toby928© for TB at February 01, 2013 04:46 PM (QupBk)

17 I would have rejected him as well

Posted by: Rachael Maddow at February 01, 2013 04:46 PM (F6KtL)

18 He's mine, you whore!

Posted by: Helen Thomas at February 01, 2013 04:46 PM (3ZtZW)

19 Twinsies? They're both old untalented hacks?

Posted by: Tilikum the Killer Assault Whale at February 01, 2013 04:46 PM (uhftQ)

20 And Ace goes head-to-head with EOJ.

Yikes.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at February 01, 2013 04:46 PM (UOM48)

21 Larry! They said you was hung.

Posted by: Jinx the Cat at February 01, 2013 04:47 PM (l3vZN)

22 Have you seen her photo lately? She's lost all this weight & is so obviously on the prowl.

Posted by: C. Hagel at February 01, 2013 04:47 PM (jwumz)

23
Mmmmmm. Oohhhhh. Mmmmhmmmm. Ooohhhhh yeahhhh.

Posted by: mika brzezinski at February 01, 2013 04:47 PM (F6KtL)

24 He never called me back. The cad!

Posted by: Soledad O'Brien at February 01, 2013 04:47 PM (3ZtZW)

25 Dating a dinosaur like that is just hideously repulsive.

Posted by: Catherine Zeta-Jones at February 01, 2013 04:47 PM (+lsX1)

26 Is that a lizard in your vagina or Larry King?

Posted by: Fritz at February 01, 2013 04:47 PM (UzPAd)

27 Bow chicca wow wow

Posted by: gigg at February 01, 2013 04:48 PM (41VCE)

28 Picturing Larry King having sex is just disgusting

FIFY

Posted by: John P. Squibob at February 01, 2013 04:48 PM (kqqGm)

29 He should have invited me up to his place

Posted by: Anderson Cooper at February 01, 2013 04:48 PM (F6KtL)

30 The other thing is, Couric is only 23 years younger than King. She is remarkably well-preserved for a 110-year-old.

Posted by: Truman North: pay up, sucka at February 01, 2013 04:49 PM (6nHiD)

31 Katie jumped my bones. (Side note: Back then we both wore the same shoulder pads.) What a lusty, wonderful weekend with a smart, sexy young gal. It's good to be the King!

Posted by: Larry King at February 01, 2013 04:49 PM (ypzqs)

32 What a pig!

Posted by: Hugh Hefner at February 01, 2013 04:49 PM (F6KtL)

33 What woman can resist King's svelte, cat-like frame?

Posted by: Heralder at February 01, 2013 04:49 PM (+xmn4)

34 I wore them both out.

Posted by: abe vigoda at February 01, 2013 04:49 PM (QupBk)

35 What a pig!
Posted by: Hugh Hefner
----------
What a Hugh Hefner!

Posted by: A Pig at February 01, 2013 04:50 PM (uhftQ)

36 In related news, Larry King and Katie Couric are now "Twinsies!," I think it's called.

_______________

I'm not up on the hip talk like Ace--can someone begin to translate?

Posted by: tasker at February 01, 2013 04:50 PM (r2PLg)

37 From the link:

“I started laughing a little because the whole situation was like out of
a bad Lifetime movie. So I said 'Larry, you're such an interesting,
nice man but I would like to meet someone a little closer to my age. He
said, 'That's okay cause when I like, I really like.'”




{{shudder}}

Posted by: Jane D'oh at February 01, 2013 04:50 PM (UOM48)

38 I heard a Howard Stern interview with one of his wives and she claimed Larry was quite the Cocksmith. Something about playing dress up and whatnot.

Posted by: gigg at February 01, 2013 04:50 PM (41VCE)

39 Honestly, you'd hit it, wouldn't you? I know, liberal scrunt and all that. But I bet she is WILD you know what I mean?

Posted by: Golan Globus at February 01, 2013 04:50 PM (pZDxu)

40 I'll never see my man parts again after reading that.

Posted by: zsasz at February 01, 2013 04:50 PM (MMC8r)

41 Have you seen her photo lately? She's lost all this weight is so obviously on the prowl.

We're interested.

Posted by: Brazzers at February 01, 2013 04:50 PM (kqqGm)

42 I wonder how far his balls hang.

I'm going with "ankles" and trying to bleach thevision from my mind.

Posted by: RushBabe at February 01, 2013 04:51 PM (tQHzJ)

43 Cosmo?

Posted by: fb at February 01, 2013 04:51 PM (JVEmw)

44 Sometimes things make it through the layers and layers of fact-checking on the AoSHQ. Just like in the Party Line Media.

I'm sure Ace deeply regrets the error, and there will be a correction on page B23 forthwith.

Posted by: Marmo at February 01, 2013 04:51 PM (QW+AD)

45 “I was like, 'Oh mother of god.' I was like 'Dear, Cosmo what do I do?' I
was only 30,
I could not figure out how to extricate myself from it.”





ONLY 30? She couldn't figure out what to do because she was ONLY 30?!




Posted by: Tami at February 01, 2013 04:51 PM (X6akg)

46 "... and then he said he wanted to create a weasel-baby."

Posted by: Katie Couric at February 01, 2013 04:51 PM (xz0nG)

47 When Larry lunged at her--maybe he just needed to get resuscitated.

Posted by: tasker at February 01, 2013 04:51 PM (r2PLg)

48 That's not attempted rape-attempted rape-rape

Posted by: Whoopie at February 01, 2013 04:51 PM (F6KtL)

49 The bucket in his car should have been her first clue.

Posted by: t-bird at February 01, 2013 04:51 PM (FcR7P)

50 So they went back to his place for a quick diaper change and he makes a move? That's awesome. There's not many120 year old guys that can pull something like that off.

Posted by: Gristle Encased Head at February 01, 2013 04:52 PM (+lsX1)

51 Cosmo is her pet name for her hooch

Posted by: gigg at February 01, 2013 04:52 PM (41VCE)

52 I hope she kept Larry's number.

Posted by: teh Wind at February 01, 2013 04:52 PM (HBU8E)

53 What a prude.

Posted by: Sandra Fluke at February 01, 2013 04:52 PM (l3vZN)

54 Tami, liberal 30 is like Conservative 12.

Posted by: Tilikum the Killer Assault Whale at February 01, 2013 04:52 PM (uhftQ)

55 Golan? Really?


No. No, I would not it that. Not with Hillary's dick.

Posted by: Truman North: pay up, sucka at February 01, 2013 04:52 PM (6nHiD)

56 Giants of broadcasting. Right up there with Murrow, Sevareid, and Bozo those two are.

Posted by: Circa (Insert Year Here) at February 01, 2013 04:52 PM (ltdV/)

57 From the link:

Once inside his apartment, which was “covered with proclamations [to]
Larry King Day
, keys to every city in the country,” the veteran
newscaster made his move towards her, which she quickly rebuffed.


I'd say he has issues.

Posted by: Hollowpoint at February 01, 2013 04:53 PM (SY2Kh)

58 That's just sick and disgusting. She was 30? Waaaaaaaay too old for me.

Posted by: Roland Polanski at February 01, 2013 04:53 PM (F6KtL)

59 Ok, my co-workers are wondering, again,. what the hell I'm laughing at....

...and if Ace of Spades HQ is a Motorhead fan site.

Posted by: Damn Sockpuppet at February 01, 2013 04:54 PM (YmPwQ)

60 Remember back in the '80s when Larry KING was a COLUMNIST for USA Today...and the entire thing was unrelated phrases...connected with ELLIPSES?

Posted by: jakeman Plover at February 01, 2013 04:54 PM (96M6e)

61 DATELINE NEW YORK CITY... YOU KNOW, KATIE, IN SOME CULTURES, ALL THEY EAT IS LARRY KING PENIS... MORE AFTER THIS...

Posted by: LARRY KING at February 01, 2013 04:54 PM (I2LwF)

62 So, thirty is too young to know how to deal with obvious sexual advances? Unless they're coming from Roman Polanski, in which case seventh graders know exactly what's up...

Posted by: Jenny Tries Too Hard at February 01, 2013 04:54 PM (b+8h9)

63 These elite NY "journalists" are so special.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at February 01, 2013 04:54 PM (UOM48)

64 Thanks Truman for LYING.

Posted by: Golan Globus at February 01, 2013 04:55 PM (pZDxu)

65 46 "... and then he said he wanted to create a weasel-baby."

Posted by: Katie Couric at February 01, 2013 04:51 PM (xz0nG)

ding!ding!ding!

Posted by: BignJames at February 01, 2013 04:55 PM (j7iSn)

66 Golan Globus , I would......with a Buick....

Posted by: Tilikum the Killer Assault Whale at February 01, 2013 04:55 PM (uhftQ)

67 Once inside his apartment, which was “covered with proclamations [to] Larry King Day, keys to every city in the country,” the veteran newscaster made his move towards her, which she quickly rebuffed.
So, rebuffed means she got naked again? Or does it mean she "polished his spear"?

Posted by: Mikey NTH - there on Thunder Island! at February 01, 2013 04:55 PM (hLRSq)

68 This reminds me of that story about Bob Menendez babysitting Dakota Fanning.

Posted by: Gristle Encased Head at February 01, 2013 04:55 PM (+lsX1)

69 Katie, someone needs to make sure you don't taste like Larry, and I'm just the tongue to do it.

Posted by: JEM at February 01, 2013 04:55 PM (o+SC1)

70 LARRY KING...WERE YOU...WATCHING OVER MY SHOULDER...???

Posted by: jakeman Plover at February 01, 2013 04:55 PM (96M6e)

71 Couric explained the bizarre meet-up: “I was about 30 years old and I was in this period of my life where I [thought], ‘I’m going to go out with anybody who asks me because you learn something any time you go out with a new person.’”

Still reading? Apparently, the date started off with the fellow journo picking up a leather-skirted Couric in his Lincoln Town Car and driving her to an Italian restaurant.

“They put us right next to each other like they do with all the men and their 'nieces,'” she said.


___________

Nieces--is that what they call them at CBS?

Posted by: tasker at February 01, 2013 04:56 PM (r2PLg)

72 Not rebuffed. Re-buffed. Totally different.

Posted by: Vizzini at February 01, 2013 04:56 PM (O7Q1u)

73 Hasn't Larry pretty much slept with every single woman in NYC?

Posted by: Jane D'oh at February 01, 2013 04:56 PM (UOM48)

74 And now you know how these empty headed whores end up with high paying television jobs.
Diane Sawyer slept her way to the top as well.

Posted by: Warden at February 01, 2013 04:56 PM (HzhBE)

75 Remember back in the '80s when Larry KING was a COLUMNIST for USA Today

Norm MacDonald's SNL riffs on that were effing brilliant.

Posted by: Circa (Insert Year Here) at February 01, 2013 04:56 PM (ltdV/)

76 He went down on me and kept yelling 'Is the caller there?'

Posted by: Katie C. at February 01, 2013 04:56 PM (MMC8r)

77
Apparently King isn't turned off by FUPA.

Posted by: Heralder at February 01, 2013 04:56 PM (+xmn4)

78 54 Tami, liberal 30 is like Conservative 12.


---------

The age of consent needs a journalist exception, I guess.

Posted by: Jenny Tries Too Hard at February 01, 2013 04:56 PM (b+8h9)

79 I never want to see the phrase, copy and "paste" to any posts concerning King's or Couric's sexual encounters. It's just bad form.

Posted by: Soona at February 01, 2013 04:57 PM (jNxiU)

80 So Katie, do you ever trim the hedges back here, or did you just misplace your chinchilla muffler?

Posted by: Larry King at February 01, 2013 04:57 PM (Lxw+T)

81 Please, someone, e-mail this to Katie Colonic. Better yet, her network's entire news division. It would be a hit amongst the peons.

Posted by: eureka! at February 01, 2013 04:57 PM (HPRku)

82 Katie, someone needs to make sure you don't taste like Larry, and I'm just the tongue to do it.
Posted by: JEM
----------------
BLAAAAAAARRRRRRG!
You owe me 250 pounds of mackerel you jerk.

Posted by: Tilikum the Killer Assault Whale at February 01, 2013 04:57 PM (uhftQ)

83 With his bad ticker I hope he was wearing his LifeAlert.

Posted by: steevy at February 01, 2013 04:57 PM (dBYCN)

84 ...DATELINE NEW YORK CITY...I STOPPED BY A CARVEL TODAY AND ATE A WHOLE CARVEL ICE CREAM CONE...SAY WHAT YOU WILL ABOUT THOSE BELGIANS, BUT THEY MAKE A FINE VACUUM CLEANER...HOPE SPRINGS ETERNAL...MORE AFTER THIS...

Posted by: LARRY KING at February 01, 2013 04:57 PM (6nHiD)

85 Dear Penthouse Letters,

My first date with Katie took an unexpected turn as we left the restaurant. The unmistakable fragrance of female arousal filled the air of my Chrysler 300. I bit down hard on my dentures to re-seat them. I knew that at least forty five minutes of strenuous effort on her part would achieve a thirty second erection, but I was willing to go for broke...

Posted by: Larry at February 01, 2013 04:57 PM (feFL6)

86 I'm surprised he wasn't put off by her non-stop giggling.

Oy.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at February 01, 2013 04:57 PM (UOM48)

87
All joking and misprints aside, I am pretty sure King fucked her.

Posted by: Guy Mohawk at February 01, 2013 04:57 PM (p/cQy)

88 Watch out with that bucket Larry! You might just kick it by accident...

Posted by: Clutch Cargo at February 01, 2013 04:57 PM (Qxdfp)

89 Your mind, Ace. It's filthy!

Posted by: L, elle at February 01, 2013 04:58 PM (x9ASp)

90 Another horse story?

*rereads post

Oh.. a whore]/i] story.

That's very different.

Never mind.

Posted by: wiserbud at February 01, 2013 04:58 PM (gCa4h)

91 Ewwwww!

Posted by: Jmel at February 01, 2013 04:58 PM (9tSXa)

Posted by: wiserbud at February 01, 2013 04:58 PM (gCa4h)

93 you mean you go out to dinner with a guy that's been married eleventy times, and you didn't expect to be giving up some action???

Posted by: Bill from Chappaqua at February 01, 2013 04:58 PM (0SXI6)

94 *whew

Posted by: wiserbud at February 01, 2013 04:58 PM (gCa4h)

95
People in glass houses, you know...I have it on good authority that Ace was taken advantage of by Kate Upton.

Posted by: C. Hagel at February 01, 2013 04:58 PM (jwumz)

96 85-
Damn you all to hell this shit is too funny.

Posted by: gigg at February 01, 2013 04:58 PM (41VCE)

97 We made enthusiastic, spirited love, then went out for the Early Bird at Denny's.

Posted by: Larry K. at February 01, 2013 04:59 PM (MMC8r)

98 There's still a common thread here with the posts - we're back to bestiality again.

Posted by: Clutch Cargo at February 01, 2013 04:59 PM (Qxdfp)

99 In Larry King voce;

"What's a matter Katie, haven't you ever seen a schlong like this? More coning up!"

Posted by: Marcus at February 01, 2013 04:59 PM (qliR8)

100 Remember teh episode of SOUTHPARK...when RANDY gets into a CRAPPING contest with BONO...and the entries are measured in COURICS?

Posted by: jakeman Plover at February 01, 2013 04:59 PM (96M6e)

101 Per Couric, King has a totally different recollection of the evening.



I'll bet.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at February 01, 2013 04:59 PM (UOM48)

102 When I watched the televised footage of Katie's colon, I thought, "hey, that place looks familiar."

Posted by: Larry King at February 01, 2013 04:59 PM (QKKT0)

103 This explains why there was "Larry's dick was here" graffiti seen during her colonoscopy.

Posted by: Hollowpoint at February 01, 2013 04:59 PM (SY2Kh)

104 Feel good story of the day. Couric waxing nostalgic because... that's what old folks do.

Jane Pauly called, please return her liver-spot creme.

Posted by: 13times at February 01, 2013 04:59 PM (h6XiD)

105 Show me where they did the colonoscopy, baby.

Posted by: The Mega Independent at February 01, 2013 05:00 PM (YZqSb)

106 And.... 26 years later.... shes talking about it... and its NEWS???

Lets see8, 9, 10... take off the shoes... 11, 12, 13.... 19, 20... drops his pants... 21.... thats like 1987???

WHO THE F CARES????

Posted by: Romeo13 at February 01, 2013 05:00 PM (lZBBB)

107 98 There's still a common thread here with the posts - we're back to bestiality again.


---------

I have found my internet home.

Posted by: Matthew Broderick (Mr. Sarah J. Parker) at February 01, 2013 05:00 PM (b+8h9)

108 It's hard to believe the Baraqa/Moochelle porn story from last Friday could be beat...

Posted by: RushBabe at February 01, 2013 05:00 PM (tQHzJ)

109 Oh, Ace my (completely free, every week) Entertainment Weekly just came in the mail. AOSHQ It Girl Lena Dunham graces the cover this week.

"The brilliant, dirty, twisted, beautiful mind behind Girls"

Posted by: Ktgreat at February 01, 2013 05:00 PM (yV4dN)

110 97 We made enthusiastic, spirited love, then went out for the Early Bird at Denny's.

Aww, I'll bet she cut up his chicken fried steak for him into little bite-sized bits. That's sweet.

Posted by: Clutch Cargo at February 01, 2013 05:01 PM (Qxdfp)

111 What's the correct spelling of "eeww"?
Oh, well. I'll go with:"Yuch".

Oh, and she was 30 years old and didn't know how to extricate herself from that situation?
Seriously.
What the hell did she do for 4 years in college?
College is where you learn to deal with "situations".
Like your roommate and her boyfriend doing it in your room while you are in the other bed pretending to be asleep.

Or having parties in your apartment where you put the dining room table on its side against your bedroom door so people can't go in there and do unspeakable things in your bed.

Like having the courtesy to not laugh out loud when some poor girl has to come back to your apartment to retrieve her purse, after she left it behind at last night's party, because she left really fast after she was caught naked with some guy in the bedroom where the coats were kept.

If perky lil Katie went into that old fart's apartment when she had no interest in him, she's even dumber than I thought.

Posted by: nerdygirl at February 01, 2013 05:01 PM (9H+iJ)

112 This post does not denounce Bush.

I hereby declare it to be unacceptable and will now goad the commenters into a debate about foreign policy 2003 - 2006.

Posted by: Anderew at February 01, 2013 05:01 PM (xz0nG)

113 87

All joking and misprints aside, I am pretty sure King fucked her.



hmmmm

*blink*

Posted by: Mika at February 01, 2013 05:01 PM (UOM48)

114 Does Ms. Couric have any granddaughters? Just askin'.

Posted by: Senator Menendez at February 01, 2013 05:01 PM (HPRku)

115 She snorted when she saw that my suspenders were actually clipped to my formerly "tighty" formerly "whities."

At first.

Posted by: Larry King at February 01, 2013 05:01 PM (QKKT0)

116 Was she looking at Larry King or some kind of Magic Future Mirror?

Posted by: The Mega Independent at February 01, 2013 05:02 PM (YZqSb)

117 Ah, this is the "noriously rowdy" comments section that remember.

Posted by: Circa (Insert Year Here) at February 01, 2013 05:02 PM (kNqmp)

118 Per Couric, King has a totally different recollection of the evening.

But I have the video.

Posted by: Larry King at February 01, 2013 05:02 PM (QupBk)

119 In another time and place, it was cute when Dawson had a teenage crush on Katie Couric.

Posted by: Stateless Infidel at February 01, 2013 05:02 PM (AC0lD)

120 ...and after that encounter, I was inspired to do my groundbreaking on-air colonoscopy! Because Larry told me, "Where I go, success always follows."

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars at February 01, 2013 05:02 PM (Jcd0S)

121 Honestly, the dumbest of newscasters knows that dinner at 21 comes with a price. And it's got nothing to do with splitting the check.

I don 't believe for a second Couric is that naive.

Posted by: Marcus at February 01, 2013 05:02 PM (qliR8)

122 So, do you suppose "to get her going" he was showing the DVD of his colonoscopy?

Larry: Ooh! Right here! This part is great! Look at that polyp!

Posted by: Clutch Cargo at February 01, 2013 05:02 PM (Qxdfp)

123 "6 Hey! You gotta post that pic of Katie Couric dirty dancing with this post!
Posted by: Bigby's Ham Sammich Fis"

The one where she's in that "taking a dump" stance?

Posted by: nerdygirl at February 01, 2013 05:03 PM (9H+iJ)

124 Horses don't lunge. Just saying.

Posted by: Mendoza at February 01, 2013 05:03 PM (YZqSb)

125 In the afterglow, Larry took a slow draw on his cigarette as he informed me about the benefits of a federally-insured reverse mortgage.

Posted by: Katie Couric at February 01, 2013 05:03 PM (QKKT0)

126

Ya know, she looks pretty good in pictures for a 56 year old broad.

I shudder to think what she looks like in real life, though. Her face has got to be parchment thin by now.

But when she was 30? In 1987? HAWT!

Posted by: imp at February 01, 2013 05:03 PM (UaxA0)

127 She's 30 and she goes out on a date with a 53 yr old with the power to propel her career. Obviously she was using him and obviously he expected something in return.
Now she's going to play the innocent, naive girl who just had no idea that this man would make a pass at her? At the age of 30???
She's an even bigger scumbag than Larry King for sharing this.

Posted by: Warden at February 01, 2013 05:03 PM (HzhBE)

128 Another horse story?*rereads postOh.. a whore]/i] story.That's very different.Never mind.
Posted by: wiserbud at February 01, 2013 04:58 PM (gCa4h)


------------------------------------------------


There does seem to be a common theme running through this blog today.

Posted by: Soona at February 01, 2013 05:04 PM (jNxiU)

129 So Katie, someday you might be on the Today Show. You could do a segment on modern women facing sexual pressures. But you would do better with a bit on a proper bikini wax.

Posted by: Larry King at February 01, 2013 05:04 PM (Lxw+T)

130 124 Horses don't lunge. Just saying.


-------------

Oh they do. Have mercy, sometimes they do.

Posted by: Matthew Broderick (Mr. Sarah J. Parker) at February 01, 2013 05:04 PM (b+8h9)

131 A fully functional Snark Star!

Posted by: Tilikum the Killer Assault Whale at February 01, 2013 05:05 PM (uhftQ)

132 Ace has been slicing the hammers, lately.

Howzahh!

Posted by: Eaton Cox at February 01, 2013 05:05 PM (q177U)

133 I'm the new 30, and I have to hold a solid shot of Listermint in my mouth while I floss, or I will be freaked out by my own mild "old man breath". And it's just early onset. Now, I don't think Larry is a religious flosser, and if he does now, he probably uses a 2-iron. Needless to say, him getting in close after slurping down some calamari and manicotti, would be like Bones checking out a howling oozing corpse's larynx after Booth accidentally steps on it's mung button.

Posted by: Opus An Arcus at February 01, 2013 05:05 PM (R4ECv)

134 ONLY 30? She couldn't figure out what to do because she was ONLY 30?!
Posted by: Tami

My thoughts exactly, Tami. Liberal women are always victims, aren't they?

Posted by: MoKim at February 01, 2013 05:05 PM (kprEX)

135 Here you go AtC

http://i.___ur.com/dFk73.gif

Posted by: BCochran1981 at February 01, 2013 05:05 PM (ESjav)

136 I will battle you with the entirety of my heart, and you will probably lose, but maybe, juuuust maybe, you might challenge me. God needs the Devil. The Beatles needed The Rolling Stones. Even Diane Sawyer needed Katie Couric. Will you be my...Katie Couric?

Posted by: Jean Girard at February 01, 2013 05:05 PM (96M6e)

137 HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Up next:
Katie Couric: My Innocent Date w Bob Menendez in The Dom Republic

Posted by: Dark Ages at February 01, 2013 05:06 PM (hjRtO)

138 "14 Picturing Larry King having sex is just disgusting
Posted by: Alan Greenspan"

He's been married what? 15 times or something?
Some women will do any disgusting thing for riches.

Posted by: nerdygirl at February 01, 2013 05:06 PM (9H+iJ)

139 I still love when AC called her "the affable Eva Braun of daytime TV".

Posted by: The Mega Independent at February 01, 2013 05:06 PM (YZqSb)

140 When a wizened old gnome takes you out to dinner and then wants to take you to his place it isn't for a game of yahtzee.
30 years old is old enough to say no - I want to go home. Actually, 30 years old is old enough to know not to go out to dinner with him in the first place.

Posted by: Cheri at February 01, 2013 05:06 PM (G+Wff)

141 My Penis just took cover behind my pancreas. It hit so hard I think my pancreas is bruised.

Posted by: Truck Monkey at February 01, 2013 05:06 PM (jucos)

142 Totally OT, but

I find myself trying to grasp what passes for progtard "logic" in the unemployment/jobs thread from this morning. As I seem totally at a loss, I'm hoping some of the brighter morons could give me some learnin'.

In that post, the point was made that unemployment went UP by .1%. Where I learned math, that means that FEWER people were working. Yet some progtard stated that at that rate, we'd be back to "full employment" by what, 2022 or so?

So using that calculation, should I gather that the progtard definition of "full employment" is 7.8% + (120 months * .1%/month) = 20% unemployment?

Is this one of those deals like you hear on the radio, "We lose a thousand on each deal, but we make it up in volume"?

Please help. I'm sorry, I know there is not supposed to be Friday afternoon math on this blog...

Posted by: Boomer Redneque, puzzled edition at February 01, 2013 05:06 PM (eQnzo)

143 "Larry King? Never trusted that dude for some reason."


---Chuck Hagel

Posted by: Dr Spank at February 01, 2013 05:07 PM (w+Dvf)

144 He's been married what? 15 times or something?

Some women will do any disgusting thing for riches.



Ahoy, matey!

Posted by: Skipper Hugh Hefner at February 01, 2013 05:07 PM (QKKT0)

145 If he did her he truly would fk a snake.

Posted by: Vic at February 01, 2013 05:07 PM (53z96)

146 Posted by: Opus An Arcus at February 01, 2013 05:05 PM (R4ECv)

have no idea what that means but it's funny as hell

Posted by: BignJames at February 01, 2013 05:08 PM (j7iSn)

147
i LOL'ed...

Posted by: Shoey at February 01, 2013 05:08 PM (jdOk/)

148
Copy-paste? ...Is that better than regular paste?

Posted by: Joe Biden at February 01, 2013 05:08 PM (BZMZX)

149 Enjoy those 600 thread count pillowcases, Katie. They really pamper your skin, especially when you're face down like that.

Posted by: Larry King at February 01, 2013 05:08 PM (Lxw+T)

150 So Couric, King and Mendoza walk into a stable, grab a bucket and a six-pack of Bud...

Posted by: Marcus at February 01, 2013 05:08 PM (qliR8)

151 Dinner meeting quid pro quo? Nothin' wrong with that, my man.

Posted by: Herman Cain at February 01, 2013 05:09 PM (96M6e)

152 140 When a wizened old gnome takes you out to dinner and then wants to take you to his place it isn't for a game of yahtzee.

-------

Right. But Larry's not a gnome; he's clearly a leprechaun. I totally thought I was in for some Lucky Charms.

Posted by: Katie Couric, just 30 years old at February 01, 2013 05:09 PM (b+8h9)

153 Ah, yes, this is the AoSHQ I know and love. What a day, what a day!

Posted by: museisluse at February 01, 2013 05:09 PM (G4YiV)

154 Well, this is the sort of "just in time" information we've come to expect from our committed journalist friends!

Posted by: The Committee to Re-Elect Senator Bob Menendez at February 01, 2013 05:10 PM (bxiXv)

155 We made enthusiastic, spirited love, then went out for the Early Bird at Denny's.Aww, I'll bet she cut up his chicken fried steak for him into little bite-sized bits. That's sweet.

If we still had the strike-out function, that entree would be replaced with "oatmeal."

Posted by: RushBabe at February 01, 2013 05:10 PM (tQHzJ)

156 My thoughts exactly, Tami. Liberal women are always victims, aren't they?


Posted by: MoKim at February 01, 2013 05:05 PM (kprEX)


I'd be more embarrassed to admit that than to admit I went back to his apartment.
Good grief....no wonder they need daddy government.

Posted by: Tami at February 01, 2013 05:11 PM (X6akg)

157 It's almost like there are industries out there where reasonably attractive young people have to perform sexual favors for the people in power, just to get ahead in the business, because success in the industry has nothing to do with actual talent...

Nah, just kidding. That stuff never happens.

Posted by: BurtTC at February 01, 2013 05:11 PM (BeSEI)

158 "Did I bang Larry King? Hellz no, but I did give him a handy to stop his lechery. And for a job reference"


--Katie Couric

Posted by: Dr Spank at February 01, 2013 05:11 PM (w+Dvf)

159 “Nothing we’re going to do is going to fundamentally alter or eliminate the possibility of another mass shooting or guarantee that we will bring gun deaths down to a thousand a year from what we’re at now,” Biden said, according to a Politico report.

Posted by: Harold Finch at February 01, 2013 05:11 PM (e8kgV)

160 An older man like myself has to watch his health, Katie. You know, regular check ups… Perhaps a colonoscopy. Just pretend there is a camera on the end of my thing and you are there.

Posted by: Larry King at February 01, 2013 05:11 PM (Lxw+T)

161 I loved it even more when Couric had AC on, thinking she was actually going to get an apology out of her. Instead, she got a tutorial in "how to fuck with Katie Courics head".

Posted by: Ktgreat at February 01, 2013 05:12 PM (yV4dN)

162 "I shudder to think what she looks like in real life, though. Her face has got to be parchment thin by now."

Now think about what Larry looked like naked. She had to have wanted journalistic success really badly. Really badly.

Posted by: nerdygirl at February 01, 2013 05:12 PM (9H+iJ)

163 I think I would rather fuck Larry King than Katie Couric. I hate that bitch.

Posted by: Oldsailors Poet, Author of Amy Lynn available on KINDLE finally at February 01, 2013 05:12 PM (l86i3)

164 I can imagine what Larry said to her:
A bottle of Jack for you, and a box of Altoids for me.

Posted by: Tilikum the Killer Assault Whale at February 01, 2013 05:13 PM (uhftQ)

165 Ace.is.on.fire!

Jeebus I laughed my ass off at this. I'll need brain bleach but still funny as hell.

As for larry's nuts, I guarantee they hang a good 7-8 inches, out of the boxers down the bean post he calls a leg. You're welcome for the visual.

Posted by: Timon at February 01, 2013 05:13 PM (hHlaS)

166 "I'm sort of the comic relief after a hard day at work. My message is that it's OK to relax."
-- Larry King

Posted by: Dr. Varno at February 01, 2013 05:13 PM (vU7KM)

167 One of my late dad's favorite riddles:

Q: Why is a prostitute more honest than a journalist?
A: Because the prostitute at least admits she's a whore.

(feel free to substitute,"politician," for journalist)

Posted by: RondinellaMamma at February 01, 2013 05:13 PM (53riN)

168 Please help. I'm sorry, I know there is not supposed to be Friday afternoon math on this blog...

Ezra Klein is a "smart leftist." Therefore in non-Bizarro-world, he is an utter nincompoop. That's the only explanation you need.

Posted by: Truman North, every time, no exceptions at February 01, 2013 05:14 PM (6nHiD)

169 I did much the same with Jessica Savitch on my boat. Mike Wallace - now there was a horn dog!

Posted by: Zombie Walter Cronkite at February 01, 2013 05:14 PM (ypzqs)

170 It wasn't sex per se.... I like to look at it like it was a prostate exam.

Posted by: Larry King at February 01, 2013 05:14 PM (jucos)

171 163 I think I would rather fuck Larry King than Katie Couric.

---

Us too.

Posted by: Necrophiliacs Society of America at February 01, 2013 05:14 PM (b+8h9)

172 Calm down, Katie. It's nothing Barbara Walters hasn't already done.

Posted by: Larry King at February 01, 2013 05:14 PM (Lxw+T)

173

Larry was a reasonably attractive gnome in 1987 . . .

http://www.you tube.com/watc h?v=TfTg2fMs9Ck

(remove spaces)

Posted by: imp at February 01, 2013 05:14 PM (UaxA0)

174 Larry King is not good at riddles.

Posted by: Dr. Varno at February 01, 2013 05:14 PM (vU7KM)

175 Couric explained the bizarre meet-up: “I was a whore."

And STILL IS. Just without portfolio or something.

I'd bang her perky little twat though.

(disclaimer: the commenter Bitter Clinger in all fairness must admit that he would bang pretty much anything. Except for that horse. No sloppy seconds.)

Posted by: Bitter Clinger (aka Ol' 3 tooth) at February 01, 2013 05:14 PM (3E2th)

176 I hope I'm not the only one who Googled Larry King to see if he was still alive.

Posted by: Hollowpoint at February 01, 2013 05:14 PM (SY2Kh)

177 I think I would rather fuck Larry King than Katie Couric.

HOLD ON A SECOND UTAH, WE JUST GOT A CALL FROM OLDSAILORS POET!!!

Posted by: Larry at February 01, 2013 05:15 PM (feFL6)

178 Cut. Jib. Newsletter.

Posted by: Joe Mama at February 01, 2013 05:15 PM (P4cxa)

179 I would imagine Larry King has wrinkles even if fully tumescent.

If I were the type of person to imagine that type of thing, which I'm totally not.

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at February 01, 2013 05:15 PM (/hphm)

180 STOP THE PRESSES:

CBS News Scott Pelley has won the coveted TFG interview to be aired Super Bowl Sunday.


Posted by: Jane D'oh at February 01, 2013 05:15 PM (UOM48)

181 I find myself trying to grasp what passes for progtard "logic"

Posted by: Boomer Redneque, puzzled edition at February 01, 2013 05:06 PM (eQnzo)


You can only figure out how a consequence would appear to them to be a bonus for them personally or to their ideology.

Actually trying to make sense of the statements is a complete lost cause.

Come on, they believe you can spend unlimited amounts of other people's money and you will improve your debt standing, and you can increase taxes without limit and it won't effect anyone's business decisions.

Posted by: Merovign, Dark Lord of the Sith at February 01, 2013 05:15 PM (bxiXv)

182 Here are some beach pictures to cleanse the pallet.

http://tinyurl.com/b2ydvpo

But don't scroll down you have been warned.

Posted by: Buzzsaw at February 01, 2013 05:15 PM (81UWZ)

183 Hey, you know, we women...we've all been there. But we don't all boast about it.

Posted by: jeanne at February 01, 2013 05:16 PM (GdalM)

184 Ace; ease off the Red Bull son.

Posted by: Bitter Clinger (aka Ol' 3 tooth) at February 01, 2013 05:16 PM (3E2th)

185 Sorry, but I don't date liberals no matter how attractive they are on the outside.
I'm like a theme park ride, except you must be at least this smart to ride.

Posted by: Tilikum the Killer Assault Whale at February 01, 2013 05:16 PM (uhftQ)

186 From the link: Per Couric, King has a totally different recollection of the evening.

I'm sure he does.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, who did not vote for this shit. at February 01, 2013 05:16 PM (+z4pE)

187 Hollowpoint:

Google his mugshot. It is a thing of beauty.

Posted by: Ktgreat at February 01, 2013 05:16 PM (yV4dN)

188 I hope I'm not the only one who Googled Larry King

*****

Man, I can't keep up with all these new euphemisms.

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at February 01, 2013 05:16 PM (/hphm)

189 Larry likes to wear those suspenders without a shirt whilst he rawdogs Katie.

Posted by: Dr. Varno at February 01, 2013 05:16 PM (vU7KM)

190 You know Larry King was married to a playboy bunny at one time.

Posted by: Vic at February 01, 2013 05:16 PM (53z96)

191
In keeping with today's theme...

"Roll, roll...roll in zee hay"

http://youtu.be/vqClWdOcWog

Posted by: wheatie at February 01, 2013 05:17 PM (BZMZX)

192 STFU, I gave Katie lessons on fucking her way to the top. I sucked more dick than a 40 year old toothless meth addict truck stop whore. Guess what? I'm rich, fuck you.

Posted by: Barbra Walters at February 01, 2013 05:17 PM (l86i3)

193 Well, Katie done let the horse out of the barn. Now we'll be treated to every doyenne of the media issuing their own "My Time on the Journalism Casting Couch" stories. Go long in mind bleach futures...

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars at February 01, 2013 05:17 PM (Jcd0S)

194
Whore Wiithout a Portfolio. lol!

Posted by: C. Hagel at February 01, 2013 05:18 PM (jwumz)

195 Nerdygirl at 111 just made my day.

In going to be imagining those parties tonight!

Posted by: Truman North, every time, no exceptions at February 01, 2013 05:18 PM (6nHiD)

196 How many kids has that ol' horn dog spawned?

Posted by: Jane D'oh at February 01, 2013 05:19 PM (UOM48)

197 Nerdygirl at 111 just made my day.

In going to be imagining those parties tonight!
Posted by: Truman North, every time, no exceptions at February 01, 2013 05:18 PM (6nHiD)

Nerdygirl is the perfect mom for a teenage girl.

Posted by: Oldsailors Poet, Author of Amy Lynn available on KINDLE finally at February 01, 2013 05:19 PM (l86i3)

198

Oh FFS. Really? Odictator is gonna ruin the superbowl, WTF dude? campaign is over, go do an executive order or something.

Posted by: Guy Mohawk at February 01, 2013 05:19 PM (p/cQy)

199 Larry has been married eight times and has five kids.

Boggles the mind.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at February 01, 2013 05:20 PM (UOM48)

200 193 -

Easy remedy: picture all the tarts on tv now. They had/have to do it too.

Posted by: BurtTC at February 01, 2013 05:20 PM (BeSEI)

201 After dinner, King drove them back to his apartment where he tried to put the moves on her. “So we sat there and what can I say, he lunged,” Couric said

Of course, what I meant when I said he lunged was I popped the fly off his trousers and ate his casserole like a feral dog loose in a slaughterhouse.

Posted by: Katie Couric at February 01, 2013 05:20 PM (Lxw+T)

202 180 STOP THE PRESSES:
CBS News Scott Pelley has won the coveted TFG interview to be aired Super Bowl Sunday.


Is this a fucking annual event now? An interview with the Fuhrer?
Shit.

Now we know why they're dragging in the Sandy Hook kids to sing...
It's gonna be 'gun control day' at the Super Bowl.

Posted by: wheatie at February 01, 2013 05:20 PM (BZMZX)

203 @163 - Wrong attitude. You fuck Larry King like you hate him, you'll probably kill the bugger. You fuck Katie Couric like you hate her, you'll probably have to call the cops to keep her away.


Posted by: JEM at February 01, 2013 05:21 PM (o+SC1)

204 I think I would rather fuck Larry King than Katie Couric. I hate that bitch.
Posted by: Oldsailors Poet, Author of Amy Lynn available on KINDLE finally at February 01, 2013 05:12 PM (l86i3)


----------------------------------------------


That's a tough one. I still have a little pride, but.......

Posted by: Soona at February 01, 2013 05:21 PM (jNxiU)

205 The line that got me was, "I was only 30".

Only 30? At 30, most people are ... what's the term? ... "adults". Go to Arlington National Cemetery, you'll see row upon row of stones for men who fulfilled their duty and never made it to 30. At 30, I was the sole support of my wife and our first two kids, scrambling to keep us all fed in the shambles of the Carter economy.

"Only" 30. And to think, this fucking fool is shaping the consciousness of our nation.

Posted by: Brown Line at February 01, 2013 05:21 PM (K1+sf)

206 I love the quote in the MSN article re Couric-King that the whole (sp?) incident"was out of a bad Lifetime movie." Are there good Lifetime movies? Why wasn't I informed?

Posted by: Jay Guevara at February 01, 2013 05:22 PM (IDSI7)

207 She's an even bigger scumbag than Larry King for sharing this.

There's nothing wong with shaiwing hot, nasty wuv stawwiesabout olda men, or even olda black, married men.

Posted by: Babawawa at February 01, 2013 05:22 PM (tQHzJ)

208 She couldn't figure out what to do because she was ONLY 30?!

Yeah.

She had her whole career ahead of her.

If you know what I mean.

Posted by: Bitter Clinger (aka Ol' 3 tooth) at February 01, 2013 05:22 PM (3E2th)

209 The line that got me was, "I was only 30".

Hmm, the same age as some birth control whore. What was her name? is thirty the new 18?

Posted by: Oldsailors Poet, Author of Amy Lynn available on KINDLE finally at February 01, 2013 05:22 PM (l86i3)

210 One more reason to miss the Super Bowl. Which I intend to for the first time in 25 years.

Posted by: Truman North, every time, no exceptions at February 01, 2013 05:23 PM (I2LwF)

211 202
180 STOP THE PRESSES:

CBS News Scott Pelley has won the coveted TFG interview to be aired Super Bowl Sunday.



Is this a fucking annual event now? An interview with the Fuhrer?

Shit.



Now we know why they're dragging in the Sandy Hook kids to sing...

It's gonna be 'gun control day' at the Super Bowl.




O'Reilly weeps. And why, oh why does JEF have to ruin the Super Bowl every damned year?

Posted by: Jane D'oh at February 01, 2013 05:23 PM (UOM48)

212 As for larry's nuts, I guarantee they hang a good 7-8 inches, out of the boxers down the bean post he calls a leg.

HOLD ON KANSAS! YOU KNOW THE GREATEST THING? I CAN TRIM MY PUBES AND TOENAILS IN THE SAME PASS! BACK TO YOU KANSAS!

Posted by: Larry at February 01, 2013 05:23 PM (feFL6)

213 Former First dog Barney has died.

Posted by: steevy at February 01, 2013 05:23 PM (dBYCN)

214 She had her whole career ahead of her.

All 7 inches of it.

Posted by: Sean Bannion at February 01, 2013 05:23 PM (xPVhR)

215
Seems apropos:

MADtv HBO's Deadwood Promo featuring Larry King

http://tinyurl.com/d44seo

"HBO -- It's Not Television, It's Twazzervision."

Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at February 01, 2013 05:23 PM (kdS6q)

216 Google his mugshot. It is a thing of beauty.

There's no way that he didn't own a van and a large supply of roofies at that stage in his life.

Posted by: Hollowpoint at February 01, 2013 05:24 PM (SY2Kh)

217 >I was only 30, I could not figure out how to extricate myself from it.

Only 30? What the fuck? When did 30 not = grown the fuck up? Alexander the Great had conquered the known world by 2 years older than that. At 30, Jesus was well on his way to founding a religion that has lasted 2000+ years.

Yeah, I know, Katie Couric shouldn't be compared with the great men of history but 30 is still old enough that you're not some twittering virgin who thinks some dude creepy old fucker like Larry King isn't going to try to seal the deal after you go on a date with him.

Posted by: DanInMN at February 01, 2013 05:24 PM (XqeyF)

218 Former First dog Barney has died.
Posted by: steevy
----------
Bye Barney. We need more dogs like you.

Posted by: Tilikum the Killer Assault Whale at February 01, 2013 05:24 PM (uhftQ)

219 I have to admit I wouldn't mind playing "You're 30 and lubricated and I have a Gulfstream III" with Katie Couric.

Posted by: JEM at February 01, 2013 05:24 PM (o+SC1)

220
198
Oh FFS. Really? Odictator is gonna ruin the superbowl, WTF dude? campaign is over, go do an executive order or something.
Posted by: Guy Mohawk at February 01, 2013 05:19 PM (p/cQy)


Barky's got to do promote his Wicked Awesome NCAA Bracket Picks Special, coming to your screens in March!

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars at February 01, 2013 05:24 PM (Jcd0S)

221 Former First dog Barney has died.
Posted by: steevy at February 01, 2013 05:23 PM (dBYCN)

That sucks.

Posted by: Oldsailors Poet, Author of Amy Lynn available on KINDLE finally at February 01, 2013 05:24 PM (l86i3)

222 192 STFU, I gave Katie lessons on fucking her way to the top. I sucked more dick than a 40 year old toothless meth addict truck stop whore. Guess what? I'm rich, fuck you.
Posted by: Barbra Walters at February 01, 2013 05:17 PM (l86i3)

________________________

So--it's not really chicken -pox.

Posted by: tasker at February 01, 2013 05:25 PM (r2PLg)

223 Former First dog Barney has died.

I prefer the term "harvested".

Posted by: Barack Obama at February 01, 2013 05:25 PM (SY2Kh)

224 213
Former First dog Barney has died.




Awww. Lived a long and seemingly happy life, unlike some presidential pets.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at February 01, 2013 05:25 PM (UOM48)

225 “I was like, 'Oh mother of god.' I was like 'Dear, Cosmo what do I do?' I was only 30, I could not figure out how to extricate myself from it.”


So I did what any modern, feminist, hardboiled journalist would. I hiked my dress over my earlobes and presented my rubicund rump like a mandrill in heat.

Posted by: Katie Couric at February 01, 2013 05:25 PM (Lxw+T)

226
@163 - Wrong attitude. You fuck Larry King like you hate him, you'll
probably kill the bugger. You fuck Katie Couric like you hate her,
you'll probably have to call the cops to keep her away. Posted by: JEM at February 01, 2013 05:21 PM (o+SC1)

Yeah, Mike Douglas calls that the Maureen Dowd Syndrome.

Posted by: Sherry McEvil, Wily Wrepublican Wench at February 01, 2013 05:25 PM (kXoT0)

227 Now that the Super Bowl has become a political event, I am done with it.

Church and then the gun range on Sunday.

Posted by: Marcus at February 01, 2013 05:26 PM (qliR8)

228 213 Former First dog Barney has died.
Posted by: steevy at February 01, 2013 05:23 PM (dBYCN)

____________________

Damn it.

Okay this is stupid but I loved his little Christmas tapes.

Posted by: tasker at February 01, 2013 05:26 PM (r2PLg)

229 My understanding was that Katie Couric, much like Larry King, likes to grind on younger women.

Posted by: Fritz at February 01, 2013 05:26 PM (UzPAd)

230 Wish Ace would do a thread on "Hard hitting questions Scott Pelley will ask The One."

Mr. President, how do you stay so sexy?

Posted by: Jane D'oh at February 01, 2013 05:26 PM (UOM48)

231
Nieces--is that what they call them at CBS?Posted by: tasker at February 01, 2013 04:56 PM (r2PLg)

Could be "nephews."

Posted by: Jay Guevara at February 01, 2013 05:27 PM (IDSI7)

232 It's gonna be 'gun control day' at the Super Bowl.

When is this interview tonguebath scheduled to appear so's I can skip it?

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, who did not vote for this shit. at February 01, 2013 05:27 PM (+z4pE)

233 Is this a fucking annual event now? An interview with the Fuhrer?

Posted by: wheatie at February 01, 2013 05:20 PM (BZMZX)


Mmmm mmmm mmmm mmmm!

Posted by: Der Obama Youth at February 01, 2013 05:27 PM (bxiXv)

234 I liked how Barney bit a reporter.

Posted by: Tilikum the Killer Assault Whale at February 01, 2013 05:27 PM (uhftQ)

235 >>>213 Former First dog Barney has died.

Was it...muuuuurrrrdddderrr? He was only 12.

Posted by: C. Hagel at February 01, 2013 05:27 PM (jwumz)

236 I think I can live without Candy Crowley's Casting Couch story.

Posted by: Stateless Infidel at February 01, 2013 05:27 PM (AC0lD)

237 182 Here are some beach pictures to cleanse the pallet.

DUDE!
We saw #4 when we were in Hawaii last summer at the Fairmont Orchid - no shit. My wife was all like !#@, and if I hadn't been so (nerdygirl would say stupid) I would have snapped a shot since I had a DSLR with a 70-200 f2.8 in my f#ing hand! She was laying on a chase lounge with her legs spread open, and you can see how tight that outfit is.

Or, in other words:
http://youtu.be/ZvAES6Y9Kfw

Posted by: Clutch Cargo at February 01, 2013 05:27 PM (Qxdfp)

238 Dear Cosmo?
Whaaaaaaat?

Posted by: Margarita DeVille at February 01, 2013 05:27 PM (C8mVl)

239 Only 30? What the fuck? When did 30 not = grown the fuck up?

I'll be charitable and suggest that maybe she meant she didn't know how to turn down a news celebrity.

Posted by: Hollowpoint at February 01, 2013 05:28 PM (SY2Kh)

240 228 213 Former First dog Barney has died.

Obama's chef rejected him for lack of freshness.

Posted by: George Orwell what knows donuts are a dish best served glazed at February 01, 2013 05:28 PM (Lxw+T)

241 234
I liked how Barney bit a reporter.


Yep. Even a dog knows they're slime.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at February 01, 2013 05:28 PM (UOM48)

242 Hey, anybody seen my horse? He was tied up to an earlier thread. I saw 'Couric' on the post and, well, you know the rest. Juz assumed he was here.

Posted by: Andrew Mendoza at February 01, 2013 05:28 PM (Kx/rb)

243 Hollowpoint:

It really makes you ask the question, who first said, "Let's get that beautiful mug in front of a camera!!!"

Posted by: Ktgreat at February 01, 2013 05:28 PM (yV4dN)

244
>>Former First dog Barney has died.<<

The real tragedy is the lack of Mint Jelly in the White House Fridge.

Posted by: Barack Hussein Obama at February 01, 2013 05:28 PM (y4auK)

245 In that post, the point was made that unemployment went UP by .1%. Where I learned math, that means that FEWER people were working. Yet some progtard stated that at that rate, we'd be back to "full employment" by what, 2022 or so?

So using that calculation, should I gather that the progtard definition of "full employment" is 7.8% + (120 months * .1%/month) = 20% unemployment?
Posted by: Boomer Redneque


They are just looking at the 'Establishment Survey,' which is a survey of some government entities and some businesses. It only gives an estimate of how many people were added to a payroll somewhere, part-time or full-time. It doesn't take into account AFAIK the total labor force size or many factors.

For example, if the labor force increased by 187k last month and we only added 157k jobs, did we actually increase overall employment?

The Unemployment numbers are based primarily on a Household Survey. The survey is massaged and adjusted by a guesstimate of how many biz's open and closed, and a few other fudge factors.

They aren't the same number and only partially related.

Posted by: weft cut-loop at February 01, 2013 05:28 PM (xz0nG)

246 Bush is a pretty good painter! See the portrait he did of Barney, rip.

Posted by: C. Hagel at February 01, 2013 05:29 PM (jwumz)

247 228 - 213 Former First dog Barney has died.

Posted by: steevy at February 01, 2013 05:23 PM (dBYCN)

____________________


Damn it.


Okay this is stupid but I loved his little Christmas tapes.


Or this - when he bit reporter Jonathan Decker:
http://youtu.be/9myqGe_B2vE

Posted by: Clutch Cargo at February 01, 2013 05:30 PM (Qxdfp)

248 Church and then the gun range on Sunday.


Posted by: Marcus at February 01, 2013 05:26 PM (qliR

Sounds like a plan.

I'll borrow it.

Posted by: Joe Mama at February 01, 2013 05:30 PM (P4cxa)

249 229 My understanding was that Katie Couric, much like Larry King, likes to grind on younger women.

So she would be perfect to interview Menendez.

Posted by: Andrew Mendoza at February 01, 2013 05:31 PM (Kx/rb)

250 That must have been right after Larry got out of that Turkish prison.

Posted by: Oswald at February 01, 2013 05:31 PM (5pi9n)

251 We only need one more story on the Menendez Sex Tapes and I can die in peace.

Posted by: Marcus at February 01, 2013 05:32 PM (qliR8)

252 I'll bet Dick gave Barney the bite order.

Posted by: Ktgreat at February 01, 2013 05:32 PM (yV4dN)

253 I'm telling you, Larry's suspenders held up much more than his trousers. There was something much, much bigger in there. If you get my drift.

Posted by: Katie Couric at February 01, 2013 05:33 PM (Lxw+T)

254 It really makes you ask the question, who first said, "Let's get that beautiful mug in front of a camera!!!"

Let's just say that he started out in radio for a reason.

Posted by: Hollowpoint at February 01, 2013 05:34 PM (SY2Kh)

255 Barney died of whatever he contracted from biting that reporter.

Worms of some sort would be my first guess.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, who did not vote for this shit. at February 01, 2013 05:34 PM (+z4pE)

256
I had already given up on the Super Bowl when they announced that a choir from the CT shooting school was going to perform there. Freakin' ghouls. Why don't they have J. Pierspot Morgan introduce them , too?

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars at February 01, 2013 05:35 PM (Jcd0S)

257 Let's just say that he started out in radio for a reason.
Posted by: Hollowpoint at February 01, 2013 05:34 PM (SY2Kh)

*******

He's so old, he probably started out in silent radio.

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at February 01, 2013 05:36 PM (/hphm)

258 Poor Katie was a victim of assault suspenders.

Posted by: George Orwell what knows that donuts are a dish best served glazed at February 01, 2013 05:36 PM (Lxw+T)

259 Dear Cosmo?

Are they still in print?

Posted by: Foghorn Leghorn at February 01, 2013 05:36 PM (Kx/rb)

260 Yeah, women will do a lot to get on a path to make $20million/yr.

Posted by: Invictus at February 01, 2013 05:36 PM (OQpzc)

261 Just think where her career might have gone had she not rebuffed.

Posted by: rockhead at February 01, 2013 05:36 PM (jtTKf)

262 I had already given up on the Super Bowl when they announced that a choir from the CT shooting school was going to perform there.

In about eleven months time, the Rose Parade will be indistinguishable from a Democratic National Committee rally.

Posted by: George Orwell what knows that donuts are a dish best served glazed at February 01, 2013 05:37 PM (Lxw+T)

263 253 I'm telling you, Larry's suspenders held up much more than his trousers. There was something much, much bigger in there. If you get my drift.

A full Depends?

Posted by: Foghorn Leghorn at February 01, 2013 05:38 PM (Kx/rb)

264 I had already given up on the Super Bowl when they announced that a choir from the CT shooting school was going to perform there.

Rumor has it that Gabby Giffords will be one of the balloon creatures in the Macy's Thanksgiving day parade.

Posted by: George Orwell what knows that donuts are a dish best served glazed at February 01, 2013 05:39 PM (Lxw+T)

265 Yeah, women will do a lot to get on a path to make $20million/yr.
Posted by: Invictus at February 01, 2013 05:36 PM (OQpzc)


--------------------------------------------


Where've you been? Women will do a lot for a blunt and a bottle of valu-rite.

Posted by: Soona at February 01, 2013 05:39 PM (jNxiU)

266
CBS News Scott Pelley has won the coveted TFG interview to be aired Super Bowl Sunday.


Posted by: Jane D'oh at February 01, 2013 05:15 PM (UOM4



Please tell me that that jug-eared fuck isn't going to pollute the goddamned Super Bowl yet again. For Christ's sake, is there any event into which he won't stick his protruding ears?

Posted by: Jay Guevara at February 01, 2013 05:40 PM (IDSI7)

267 Where've you been? Women will do a lot for a blunt and a bottle of valu-rite.

If you haven't got that, Andrew Mendoza has a solution for you.

Posted by: George Orwell what knows that donuts are a dish best served glazed at February 01, 2013 05:40 PM (Lxw+T)

268 Rumor has it that Gabby Giffords will be one of the balloon creatures in the Macy's Thanksgiving day parade.

She needs that like she needs a hole the h... Oh wait.

Posted by: Foghorn Leghorn at February 01, 2013 05:42 PM (Kx/rb)

269

LOL, she was 30...

Posted by: 3D beach artiste at February 01, 2013 05:42 PM (LpQbZ)

270 For Christ's sake, is there any event into which he won't stick his protruding ears?

The Mormon Tabernacle.

Posted by: George Orwell what knows that donuts are a dish best served glazed at February 01, 2013 05:42 PM (Lxw+T)

271 If the NFL goes overtly political I am done with it like Baseball. These people are going to cause a civil war. We get it NYC you hate us, the feling *is* mutual.

Posted by: sven10077 at February 01, 2013 05:43 PM (Fd7Sl)

272 Kate, you're not supposed to suck and tell.

Posted by: Dusty at February 01, 2013 05:43 PM (KR2Ca)

273 God... It's Andrew Breitbart's birthday...

Posted by: Truman North, every time, no exceptions at February 01, 2013 05:43 PM (I2LwF)

274

God forgive me. I made a chocolate chocolate streusel coffee cake for the weekend.

Posted by: 3D beach artiste at February 01, 2013 05:43 PM (LpQbZ)

275 Baraka will be giving us his halftime picks for the NFL superbowl playoffs.

Posted by: Soona at February 01, 2013 05:44 PM (jNxiU)

276 quickly rebuffed his advances means she got on her knees and practiced what she foes now daily for obama....sucked his cock.

Posted by: Jeremiah Gosh Darn Amerikkka Ali Muhammad Surpra-izi Amin U'rbu T'hol wright at February 01, 2013 05:45 PM (+OTLF)

277 I am Larry King's secret.

Posted by: Tactical Assualt Viagra at February 01, 2013 05:45 PM (ukNFU)

278 Could we just have something, anything, that the Reds don't politicize? Would that be asking so much? No sturdy peasant youths posing on tractors, no avuncular Dear Leader doing a Pope wave from Lenin's mausoleum, no rockets being paraded through Red Square, no nothing. Just the event, OK?

Posted by: Jay Guevara at February 01, 2013 05:46 PM (IDSI7)

279


Desperate is, as desperate does.

Posted by: swimming at the bottom of a lake at February 01, 2013 05:47 PM (LpQbZ)

280 Suddenly this thread is as dead as Larry King's __________.

Posted by: Soona at February 01, 2013 05:48 PM (jNxiU)

281 You are not old until you sit on your balls. You will know when that happens.

Posted by: Oldsailors Poet, Author of Amy Lynn available on KINDLE finally at February 01, 2013 05:49 PM (l86i3)

282 She showed him her colon.

Posted by: Dept. Of Accuracy Dept. at February 01, 2013 05:49 PM (+I8Mq)

283 278 Could we just have something, anything, that the Reds don't politicize? Would that be asking so much? No sturdy peasant youths posing on tractors, no avuncular Dear Leader doing a Pope wave from Lenin's mausoleum, no rockets being paraded through Red Square, no nothing. Just the event, OK?

----------

It's what dictators do...isn't it.

They have to insert themselves into every corner of our daily lives...for the subtle intimidation message of:
"I am omipresent. You cannot escape me."

Posted by: wheatie at February 01, 2013 05:50 PM (BZMZX)

284 278 Could we just have something, anything, that the Reds don't politicize?

Posted by: Jay Guevara at February 01, 2013 05:46 PM (IDSI7)


No. Never, not ever.

Ten million years from now, in the last preserve of unmodified humanity, the productive survivors will be saying *the very same thing* you just said about the surviving leech-humans following the ancient prophecy of Mark Robsper the Chomplinsky to obtain utopian bliss through the constant irritation of the Dreaded Borshies.

Posted by: Merovign, Dark Lord of the Sith at February 01, 2013 05:51 PM (bxiXv)

285 So Katie do you think we really care?

Posted by: Hello, it's me Donna let it burn really.really bummed at February 01, 2013 05:51 PM (9+ccr)

286 I would have loved to have given Andrea Tarantula's network interview.

Posted by: Soona at February 01, 2013 05:51 PM (jNxiU)

287 Larry King spurned me for this scrunt?

Posted by: The Horse at February 01, 2013 05:51 PM (kTuVz)

288 281 You are not old until you sit on your balls. You will know when that happens.
Posted by: Oldsailors Poet, Author of Amy Lynn available on KINDLE finally at February 01, 2013 05:49 PM (l86i3)

*******

Or so I've been told.

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at February 01, 2013 05:52 PM (/hphm)

289 I want you to go up on the roof. I'm gonna run around the house three times. Then i want to jump off and land on my face!

Posted by: Larry King after a viagra and red bull tonic at February 01, 2013 05:52 PM (tcw1u)

290 She fuckin did it. Twice.

Posted by: bicentennialguy at February 01, 2013 05:56 PM (k6b4q)

291 "After dinner, King drove them back to his apartment where he tried to put the moves on her. “So we sat there and what can I say, he lunged,” Couric said (to the delight/horror of everyone watching probably.)
Couric explained the bizarre meet-up: “I was a whore."

No one ever want's to talk about the dark side of being Perky....and Larry is still on the loose. The island that I was born on, andwill dieon, has a specific defense protocal that is 100%Larry Kingproof. If you want to be safe Katie you must come to my island.

* plays a completely innapropriate Ragtime Ditty on my Tiny piano that resides on top of Martin Brando's Much Larger Identical piano

Posted by: Dr. Moreau’s Favorite at February 01, 2013 05:57 PM (iMxCf)

292 I was only 30, I could not figure out how to extricate myself from it.

Oh, bullshit.

Posted by: Underage Dominican Prostitutes at February 01, 2013 05:58 PM (vbh31)

293 Here's GWB's statement about Barney:


Laura
and I are sad to announce that our Scottish Terrier, Barney, has passed
away. The little fellow had been suffering from lymphoma and after
twelve and a half years of life, his body could not fight off the
illness.

Barney and I enjoyed the outdoors. He loved to
accompany me when I fished for bass at the ranch. He was a fierce
armadillo hunter. At Camp David, his favorite activity was chasing golf
balls on the chipping green.


Barney guarded the South Lawn entrance of the White House as if he were a
Secret Service agent. He wandered the halls of the West Wing looking
for treats from his many friends. He starred in Barney Cam and gave the
American people Christmas tours of the White House. Barney greeted
Queens, Heads of State, and Prime Ministers. He was always polite and
never jumped in their laps.
Barney was by my side during our eight
years in the White House. He never discussed politics and was always a
faithful friend. Laura and I will miss our pal.




And here's that portrait the Bush did of him....I had never seen or heard of this before it was mentioned here.




http://tinyurl.com/b2wullm





Posted by: Tami at February 01, 2013 05:59 PM (X6akg)

294 I'd totally have been down with it but he wouldn't agree to a hot earl during sex.

Posted by: Katie Couric at February 01, 2013 05:59 PM (Aif/5)

295 Awww.. RIP Barney. He was one cool dog.

Posted by: jewells45 at February 01, 2013 06:02 PM (u25eL)

296 If the NFL goes overtly political I am done with it like Baseball. These people are going to cause a civil war. We get it NYC you hate us, the feling *is* mutual.

I don't get the Sandy thing.

You live an hour from the ocean.

You're SUPPOSED to get hurricanes. That's how it works.

Don't want hurricanes, move to Iowa.

By the way, it was MINUS 8 FAHRENHEIT this morning here. I want me some FEMA for that.

No meteorological justice, no peace!

Posted by: AmishDude at February 01, 2013 06:03 PM (T0NGe)

297 Nevermind.

Posted by: Mark Rothrock at February 01, 2013 06:03 PM (w18sT)

298 Posted by: AmishDude at February 01, 2013 06:03 PM (T0NGe)


Sandy Hook Elementary....not Sandy the hurricane.

Posted by: Tami at February 01, 2013 06:04 PM (X6akg)

299 We're all victims.

Posted by: The NFL at February 01, 2013 06:05 PM (vbh31)

300

Barney the First Dog has died. RIP you little mutt.
He committed suicide using an automatic assault weapon with a high capacity clip magazine, I heard.


Living with the Obama's was too much for the poor beast.

Posted by: Baron Vladimir Harkonnen at February 01, 2013 06:05 PM (e8kgV)

301 Barney Bush photo album on GWB's FB page.....cute.


http://tinyurl.com/akhl6na

Posted by: Tami at February 01, 2013 06:06 PM (X6akg)

302 Good grief, they are actually bringing in a choir from Sandy Hook? Jesus...

Posted by: jewells45 at February 01, 2013 06:06 PM (u25eL)

303 RIP, Barney.

Posted by: Soona at February 01, 2013 06:07 PM (jNxiU)

304 HITLER HAD DOGS, TOO!!!

Posted by: Deranged Leftist, or MSNBC host at February 01, 2013 06:07 PM (MMC8r)

305 Wow, GW could eulogize his dog, knowing the inherent tongue and cheek nature, yet make it poignant all the same. Gracious, classy, funny and he could paint.

Yep. A dolt.

Posted by: Opus An Arcus at February 01, 2013 06:08 PM (Evqw+)

306 Jewells....how you feeling?

Posted by: Tami at February 01, 2013 06:08 PM (X6akg)

307 HITLER HAD DOGS, TOO!!!

Posted by: Deranged Leftist, or MSNBC host Andrew at February 01, 2013 06:07 PM (MMC8r)


Fixed.

Posted by: Adam at February 01, 2013 06:08 PM (Aif/5)

308 302 Good grief, they are actually bringing in a choir from Sandy Hook? Jesus...

Posted by: jewells45 at February 01, 2013 06:06 PM (u25eL)


So we're all getting it clearly now that these leftists are 100% plea-for-power, 100% of the time, right?

The Bloody Shirt, it is waved.

Posted by: Merovign, Dark Lord of the Sith at February 01, 2013 06:08 PM (bxiXv)

309 Sandy Hook Elementary....not Sandy the hurricane.

Oh, I'm still hung up on the storm.

Posted by: AmishDude at February 01, 2013 06:08 PM (T0NGe)

310 HITLER HAD DOGS, TOO!!!

For dinner?

It's the other other white meat.

Posted by: AmishDude at February 01, 2013 06:09 PM (T0NGe)

311 Oh yay! World Hag in a Bag Day!

World Hijab Day calls on non-Muslim women to try out life under the traditional head scarf.

http://tinyurl.com/a2833qn


Posted by: rickb223 - May God bless Texas at February 01, 2013 06:10 PM (d0Dmj)

312 301---" Barney Bush photo album on GWB's FB page.....cute."
http://tinyurl.com/akhl6na

Posted by: Tami at February 01, 2013 06:06 PM (X6akg)

Awwww.
Thanks for linking that.
RIP, little fella.

Posted by: Margarita DeVille at February 01, 2013 06:10 PM (C8mVl)

313 Why doesn't the NFL go for the whole burrito and feature Kwame Harris at the Super Bowl, doing a piece on domestic violence? Or high capacity soy sauce containers? Or the epidemic of underwear thievery?

Posted by: Jay Guevara at February 01, 2013 06:10 PM (IDSI7)

314 How dare you post a message about Bush's dog without criticizing his level of spending. You're all hypocrites I say. Hypocrites!!!

Posted by: Andrew the Truth-Teller at February 01, 2013 06:11 PM (60GaT)

315 World Hijab Day calls on non-Muslim women to try out life under the traditional head scarf.

Posted by: rickb223 - May God bless Texas at February 01, 2013 06:10 PM (d0Dmj)


Looking foward to World Beat Your Wife With A Stick No Thicker Than Your Thumb day, and of course World Clitoridectomy Day.

/SARC

Posted by: Merovign, Dark Lord of the Sith at February 01, 2013 06:12 PM (bxiXv)

316 >>>Avenge me!

Quick! If you get to the /r/gonewild subreddit you might still have time!

Posted by: MikeTheMoose Offering Moobats Gasoline and Matches at February 01, 2013 06:12 PM (0q2P7)

317 >>>World Hijab Day calls on non-Muslim women to try out life under the traditional head scarf.

Get used to it moonbats.

Posted by: MikeTheMoose Offering Moobats Gasoline and Matches at February 01, 2013 06:13 PM (0q2P7)

318 Looking foward to World Beat Your Wife With A Stick No Thicker Than Your Thumb day, and of course World Clitoridectomy Day.


World Ride Your Donkey Day? World Ride Your Goat Day?

Posted by: rickb223 - May God bless Texas at February 01, 2013 06:13 PM (d0Dmj)

319 I love it when leftists criticize Bush's spending, and then immediately say that the current far higher level of spending is Just Not Enough.

They don't care. Facts are for sissies!

Posted by: Merovign, Dark Lord of the Sith at February 01, 2013 06:14 PM (bxiXv)

320 So we're all getting it clearly now that these leftists are 100% plea-for-power, 100% of the time, right? The Bloody Shirt, it is waved.
Posted by: Merovign, Dark Lord of the Sith at February 01, 2013 06:08 PM (bxiXv)


----------------------------------------------------------


There will be no peace these next four years. They're going full tilt for the final transformation.

I've thought about it some, and I can't say with any confidence that my present enviroment will be the same after even two years. A lot of things are going to be changing. *sigh*

Posted by: Soona at February 01, 2013 06:15 PM (jNxiU)

321 I find this post unnecessarily lurid and in poor taste.

Just how I like it.

Posted by: Empire of Jeff at February 01, 2013 06:15 PM (6Oaaw)

322 Take away Katie's politics and she is a fairly attractive middle-aged woman...knowing LK has been there would make the decision to hit it a little more difficult. LK must be the Ron Jeremy of TV news. If I remember correctly, all of his wives were hot as hell...

Posted by: Tony253 at February 01, 2013 06:19 PM (3yMFT)

323 World Hijab Day calls on non-Muslim women to try out life under the traditional head scarf.
========

Why not World Manacle Day?

Posted by: votermom at February 01, 2013 06:19 PM (Oaw84)

324 Ok Ms. Guido is napping next to me on the couch and I keep having to stiffle guffaws not to wake her. I'm going hurt myself!! First a bestiality thread on a Friday for a warm up and now this moron thread topic gold? I'm just thankful to be alive for this. Thank you God, you can take me now.

Posted by: Guido at February 01, 2013 06:20 PM (XLuH2)

325 There will be no peace these next four years. They're going full tilt for the final transformation.

Posted by: Soona at February 01, 2013 06:15 PM (jNxiU)


Massive regulatory burdens, punitive regulations, stealth taxes, crushing small business, bleeding dry everyone... giving guns to criminals and planes to terrorists...

Posted by: Merovign, Dark Lord of the Sith at February 01, 2013 06:22 PM (bxiXv)

326 How about we'll do the hijab day if you fuckers stop killing people because they don't believe in your brand of insanity?

And there should be a bare it all day. But you won't allow that because once the cat is out of the bag (swidt), they'll never get 'em back in.

Feel the breeze ladies.

Posted by: Bitter Clinger (aka Ol' 3 tooth) at February 01, 2013 06:26 PM (3E2th)

327 I've thought about it some, and I can't say with any confidence that my present environment will be the same after even two years.

When you get to the point that an expenditure for green bananas seems frivolous and unnecessary, you'll know they have won.

The people have elected anti-Reagan. There will be no return to prosperity -- since that is now an evil word -- during the next four years. Expect the opposite.

Your ability to convey your anger and influence other people -- plus millions like you -- is what is required to shake some semblance of reality back into the heads of enough people to change the course of the nation. If it isn't already too late.

Posted by: Regular Moron at February 01, 2013 06:27 PM (feFL6)

328 Tami.. not too bad. Still some old nerve pain but it is staying local.. to where he did the surgery. Hoping it's just the healing process. But no more pain shooting down my leg or numbness. Incision hurts a little. Took a little jaunt to Wally World with my daughters girlfriend. Used the scooter. Hilarity ensued!

Posted by: jewells45 at February 01, 2013 06:27 PM (u25eL)

329 And I know this is TMI but I really need to poop!!! Been taking laxatives but they aren't helping

Posted by: jewells45 at February 01, 2013 06:28 PM (u25eL)

330 I could see Larry's wrinkled balls from my bedroom window.

Posted by: Katie Couric at February 01, 2013 06:32 PM (bSpTg)

331 SEXISM!

Posted by: Mary Cloggenstein from Brattleboro, Vermont at February 01, 2013 06:34 PM (h9WhI)

332 328
Tami.. not too bad. Still some old nerve pain but it is staying local..
to where he did the surgery. Hoping it's just the healing process. But
no more pain shooting down my leg or numbness. Incision hurts a little.
Took a little jaunt to Wally World with my daughters girlfriend. Used
the scooter. Hilarity ensued!

Posted by: jewells45 at February 01, 2013 06:27 PM (u25eL)


LOL! I'll bet hilarity ensued! Good to hear!

Posted by: Tami at February 01, 2013 06:36 PM (X6akg)

333 Apparently, Barney the First Dog was a personal friend of Vince Foster

Posted by: Ken Starr at February 01, 2013 06:42 PM (e8kgV)

334 It's true, I did rebuff him. Just don't ask if I buffed him first.

Posted by: Katie "the whore" Couric at February 01, 2013 06:51 PM (mV8sg)

335 jewelsl45Tami == magnesium pills or Milk of Magnesia that will loosen the stool. Or bucket.

Dates, figs other kinds of fruit. You probably know the ones that do that for you.

Posted by: Bitter Clinger (aka Ol' 3 tooth) at February 01, 2013 06:54 PM (3E2th)

336 It...! Out...!

Posted by: Elaine Benes at February 01, 2013 07:19 PM (FYvb/)

337 "I wish I could change that bad copy-paste error but damnit, I just don't have the time."

What difference, at this point, does it make?

Posted by: George LeS at February 01, 2013 08:11 PM (C4s3i)

338
Act IV, Scene III, continued


Lifts-Her-Tail

Certainly not, kind sir! I am here but to clean your chambers.

Crantius Colto

Is that all you have come here for, little one? My chambers?

Lifts-Her-Tail

I have no idea what it is you imply, master. I am but a poor Argonian maid.

Crantius Colto

So you are, my dumpling. And a good one at that. Such strong legs and shapely tail.

Lifts-Her-Tail

You embarrass me, sir!

Crantius Colto

Fear not. You are safe here with me.

Lifts-Her-Tail

I must finish my cleaning, sir. The mistress will have my head if I do not!

Crantius Colto

Cleaning, eh? I have something for you. Here, polish my spear.

Lifts-Her-Tail

But it is huge! It could take me all night!

Crantius Colto

Plenty of time, my sweet. Plenty of time.

END OF ACT IV, SCENE III









The Lusty Argonian Maid
Volume 2

By:

Crassius Curio


ACT VII, SCENE II, CONTINUED

Lifts-Her-Tail

My goodness, that's quite a loaf! But how ever shall it fit my oven?

Crantius Colto

This loaf isn't ready for baking, my sweet. It has yet to rise.

Lifts-Her-Tail

If only we could hurry that along. How would I accomplish such a task?

Crantius Colto

Oh, my foolish little Argonian maid, you must use your hands.

Lifts-Her-Tail

You wish me to kneed the loaf? Here?

Crantius Colto

Of course.

Lifts-Her-Tail

But what if the mistress catches me? Your loaf was meant to satisfy her appetite.

Crantius Colto

Don't fret, my delicate flower. I'll satisfy the mistress's cravings later.

Lifts-Her-Tail

Very well, but I'm afraid my oven isn't hot enough. It could take hours!

Crantius Colto

Plenty of time, my sweet. Plenty of time.

END OF ACT VII, SCENE II


There is so much wrong with Couric and King's assignation I truly don't know how to restrain my joy.


Posted by: Mikey NTH - there on Thunder Island! at February 01, 2013 09:03 PM (gmoEG)

339 Oh, THANKS FOR THE VISUAL, asshole...

Posted by: mojo at February 01, 2013 09:42 PM (B/weO)

340 When it counts, Katie Couric can suck a golf ball through a garden hose.

Posted by: Comanche Voter at February 01, 2013 10:01 PM (oe1aw)

341 I LMFAO!!
Ace: Marry me.

Posted by: wankette at February 01, 2013 10:20 PM (kSBJy)

342 We got to Larry's place and turned on the news. There was a man on the ledge looking like he was going to jump. Larry pulled a twenty from his cookie jar and said "I'll bet he jumps" and laid it on the wet bar. I pulled my own twenty from my bra, laid it on the bar and said "Bet he doesn't".. As we turned to face the TV, the man jumped. Larry gathered the twenties from the bar but then gave one back to me. He said "Take this. I saw the five o'clock news. I knew he jumped." but I said "Keep the money Larry. I saw the same news but I didn't think he would do it again."

Joke shamelessly stolen from the comment section of AWD. The names have been changed to protect the blondes.

Posted by: majorityofone at February 02, 2013 04:05 AM (QyY8P)

343 OT:
More than 40 huge sinkholes open up all over Pennsylvania’s capital, but the city is too broke to fix them http://tinyurl.com/bfk9d52

Posted by: Baldy at February 02, 2013 10:09 AM (opS9C)

344 Oh and the former Demonrat Mayor of Harrisburg used money from the water and sewer authority to buy stuff for... an Wild West museum!

Posted by: Baldy at February 02, 2013 10:12 AM (opS9C)






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