And Now, a Special Guest Commentary by a Guy Who Tried to "Make a Baby in That Horse"

This guy's got a lot to say.

Let us heed his wisdom.

I was trying to make the horse have a baby, Mendoza explained. I was thinking it would have a horseman baby.

centaur2.jpg
Artist's Conception


He added, I aint going to lie, I blew a nut in the horse. I then got off the bucket and put my clothes back on and left. I promise that I have not been back over to the horse since that time."

andrewmendozamug.jpg
He's also available for babysitting,
or touching your uncooked food.

Mr. Andrew Mendoza, age 29, was just nominated by Obama to be Secretary of Defense.

By the way: He intended this quote to be exculpatory. This wasn't a confession, not really. This was his attempt to convince the cops they should let him go.

Thaks to @slublog.

Sad Update: Mr. Mendoza, a starry-eyed idealist who dreamed of a world of horsemanbabies, hanged himself while being held for trespassing and indecency with a child.

We had just gotten to know him, and now he's gone! Below, a musical tribute.

(Old Letterman gag.)

Posted by: Ace at 02:33 PM



Comments

1 I blame public schooling

Posted by: Invictus at February 01, 2013 02:34 PM (OQpzc)

2
F*CKING AN ANIMAL

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vCNYK_9hKDk

Posted by: GWAR at February 01, 2013 02:35 PM (nwg8h)

3 I know that feel, bro.

Posted by: Matthew Broderick at February 01, 2013 02:35 PM (9TK8E)

4 What?

Posted by: wheatie at February 01, 2013 02:36 PM (BZMZX)

5 Oh, so that's the Andrew that was posting a couple threads ago.

Posted by: Tilikum the Killer Assault Whale at February 01, 2013 02:36 PM (uhftQ)

6 If he had dressed up in his Furry costume, he'd be untouchable.

Posted by: EC at February 01, 2013 02:36 PM (GQ8sn)

7 Soon this young man and others will be free to express their love.

Posted by: steevy at February 01, 2013 02:36 PM (dBYCN)

8 I hope this is snark. MENDOZA!!!!!!

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at February 01, 2013 02:36 PM (EVyWz)

9 Also, that's NOT how centaurs are made.

Posted by: EC at February 01, 2013 02:36 PM (GQ8sn)

10 EC, do you have a secret fur fetish????

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at February 01, 2013 02:36 PM (EVyWz)

11 Go on . . .

Posted by: Catherine II at February 01, 2013 02:36 PM (WAdfF)

12 I was thinking it would have a horseman baby.

And thus, another opportunity for Sarah Jessica Parker to find her heart's own true desire goes a glimmering...

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars at February 01, 2013 02:37 PM (Jcd0S)

13
'Didn't need to take her on a date.
Just had to stand here, on the crate.'

Posted by: garrett at February 01, 2013 02:37 PM (nwg8h)

14 My yellow lab started sobbing when I read her this story.

Posted by: Sgt Hulka at February 01, 2013 02:37 PM (3VFwy)

15 Hilly speaking now and in the background of course a woman wearing a plaid burkha and smiling. Man those clinton sure know how to use the props...

Posted by: Clemenza at February 01, 2013 02:37 PM (x59Gv)

16 I blame public schooling

Oh, but I'll bet he has the right views on global warming.

Posted by: AmishDude at February 01, 2013 02:37 PM (T0NGe)

17

Poor horse.

Posted by: beach at February 01, 2013 02:37 PM (LpQbZ)

18 Ok.. who is the moron who left this comment on teh original story?

"He coulda avoided all this trouble if he'd had sex with Sarah Jessica Parker instead...."

Posted by: Jumbo Shrimp at February 01, 2013 02:38 PM (DGIjM)

19 The secret Sarah Jessica Parker breeding farm exposed.

Posted by: Lemmenkainen, Freelance Warlord at February 01, 2013 02:38 PM (ZWvOb)

20 Barack Obama is a stuttering clusterf*ck of a malignant traitor.

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) Channelling Breitbart at February 01, 2013 02:38 PM (/eBe8)

21 Poor horse.
Posted by: beach
-------
Probably didn't even know he was there.

Posted by: Tilikum the Killer Assault Whale at February 01, 2013 02:38 PM (uhftQ)

22 Are you sure that is a woman in the plaid burkha. Might be Al Franken.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at February 01, 2013 02:38 PM (EVyWz)

23 And thus, another opportunity for Sarah Jessica Parker to find her heart's own true desire goes a glimmering...

No problem, she just needs to hook up with Incitatus at the State Department.

Posted by: AmishDude at February 01, 2013 02:38 PM (T0NGe)

24
Ace.

That GWAR tune needs to be in the post.

Posted by: garrett at February 01, 2013 02:38 PM (nwg8h)

25 I ain't reading that Smoking Gun story. Was it a mare?

Was it John Kerry?

Posted by: grognard at February 01, 2013 02:38 PM (NS2Mo)

26

I blame public schooling
Posted by: Invictus at February 01, 2013 02:34 PM (OQpzc)




I blame open borders.

Posted by: beach at February 01, 2013 02:38 PM (LpQbZ)

27 Dear G_d, I hope it was a mare.

Posted by: Fritz at February 01, 2013 02:39 PM (UzPAd)

28 Andrew, Andrew, Andrew...even though it's true, that's an ungentlemanly way to talk about Sarah Jessica Parker.

Posted by: BlueStateRebel at February 01, 2013 02:39 PM (7ObY1)

29 Mendozas criminal career subsequently ended when he hanged himself in a county jail,

from the article. He still votes, however.

Posted by: t-bird at February 01, 2013 02:39 PM (FcR7P)

30 Guy killed himself in jail.

Posted by: Jumbo Shrimp at February 01, 2013 02:39 PM (DGIjM)

31 EC, do you have a secret fur fetish????


Heh...I'm just saying that if he had done the deed dressed up as Pedobear or something, he'd be untouchable in the sense that his human right to dress and live life as a Furry couldn't be questioned by Teh Man. So what if he fucked a horse or two?

Posted by: EC at February 01, 2013 02:39 PM (GQ8sn)

32 "He coulda avoided all this trouble if he'd had sex with Sarah Jessica Parker instead...."

That sounds a lot like BCochran

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) Channelling Breitbart at February 01, 2013 02:39 PM (/eBe8)

33 I blame open breeding.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at February 01, 2013 02:39 PM (EVyWz)

34 Hey! Lets import 11million more enlightened gentlemen like Horseman!

Posted by: Y-not on the phone at February 01, 2013 02:39 PM (5H6zj)

35 The SG article goes on to say that the guy hanged himself in jail while being held on (supposedly unrelated) charges of indecency with a child and trespassing.

This guy sounds like he was a real treasure. Hoo boy.

I will say I'm shocked -- SHOCKED -- that this happened in Texas and not in Florida or Maine, the two whackadoodliest states in the nation for stuff like this.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Hobbit at February 01, 2013 02:40 PM (4df7R)

36 See!!! The horse was raped and its body had a way of shutting that whole thing down.

Who ya laughin' at now, H8rz?!

Posted by: Todd Akin at February 01, 2013 02:40 PM (CofEF)

37 I denounce myself.

Posted by: Y-not on the phone at February 01, 2013 02:40 PM (5H6zj)

38 Since most Mexicans I know run about 5'6', did he bring a stepstool with him? Inquiring minds want to know.

Posted by: Lemmenkainen, Freelance Warlord at February 01, 2013 02:40 PM (ZWvOb)

39 This guy needs a Mika parrot-ginch.

Posted by: eleven at February 01, 2013 02:40 PM (fsLdt)

40 Ummm, that story took a fortunate but unexpected turn there at the end of the article. Usually the rocket surgeons who do such things don't have such decency.

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD. Team Stompy. at February 01, 2013 02:40 PM (VtjlW)

41 27 Dear G_d, I hope it was a mare.
Posted by: Fritz at February 01, 2013 02:39 PM (UzPAd)
----

You know, when it gets this far out, the concept of "hope" becomes inoperative.

Posted by: JeremiadBullfrog at February 01, 2013 02:40 PM (Y5I9o)

42 Hilly speaking now and in the background of course a woman wearing a plaid burkha and smiling. Man those clinton sure know how to use the props...
Posted by: Clemenza at February 01, 2013 02:37 PM (x59Gv)

You have to admit, she's the best SoS the arabs ever had.

Posted by: Invictus at February 01, 2013 02:40 PM (OQpzc)

43 Takes the term Caballero to a whole different level...

Posted by: t-bird at February 01, 2013 02:40 PM (FcR7P)

44 but did he eat a tampon and does he shoot skeet all day long?

Posted by: Jeremiah Gosh Darn Amerikkka Ali Muhammad Surpra-izi Amin U'rbu T'hol wright at February 01, 2013 02:41 PM (+OTLF)

45 Judging from the picture I would bet that the horse looked better than any other female he could get.

Posted by: Vic at February 01, 2013 02:41 PM (53z96)

46 Best story ever.

Posted by: ALittleEnglish at February 01, 2013 02:41 PM (VDsQI)

47 SecDef? Why I may have just the job for a fellow with this sort of energy.

Posted by: #OccupyResoluteDesk at February 01, 2013 02:41 PM (7QU6R)

48 Dear G_d, I hope it was a mare.
Posted by: Fritz at February 01, 2013 02:39 PM (UzPAd)


The guy thought he could make a centaur baby by having sex with a horse. I don't think he had the brainpower to consider that the horse might be a boy horse.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Hobbit at February 01, 2013 02:41 PM (4df7R)

49 Never look a gift horse in the mouth....when you can stand on a bucket naked and get your jollies at the other end.

Posted by: Jeremiah Gosh Darn Amerikkka Ali Muhammad Surpra-izi Amin U'rbu T'hol wright at February 01, 2013 02:42 PM (+OTLF)

50 Apparently he climbed up on an 'assault bucket' to accomplish the deed.

Posted by: Regular Moron at February 01, 2013 02:42 PM (feFL6)

51 >>>Guy killed himself in jail.

So it wasn't a mare. Check.

Posted by: Fritz at February 01, 2013 02:42 PM (UzPAd)

52 :::I was trying to make the horse have a baby, Mendoza explained. I was thinking it would have a baby.":::

P A T H

T O

C I T I Z E N S H I P

Posted by: Empire of Jeff at February 01, 2013 02:42 PM (6Oaaw)

53 >>>This guy's got a lot to say.

I do not understand the thinking that makes those thoughts possible.

Posted by: MikeTheMoose Offering Moobats Gasoline and Matches at February 01, 2013 02:42 PM (0q2P7)

54 Since most Mexicans I know run about 5'6', did he bring a stepstool with him? Inquiring minds want to know.

Apparently (just from Ace's quote) he was standing on a bucket.

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) Channelling Breitbart at February 01, 2013 02:42 PM (/eBe8)

55 I was thinking it would have a horseman baby. He added, I aint going to lie, I blew a nut in the horse.

Who taught this guy sex ed? He should be fired. Fellating an almond near a horse won't get it pregnant.

Posted by: Underground Vulgarian at February 01, 2013 02:42 PM (KQ53P)

56 I wonder if she was she a 'mudder'?

Posted by: garrett at February 01, 2013 02:42 PM (4nGf2)

57 He was probably a Bronie.

Posted by: EC at February 01, 2013 02:42 PM (GQ8sn)

58 There's a Bronie joke in there somewhere.

Posted by: xbradtc at February 01, 2013 02:42 PM (O0L6N)

59 JINX!

Posted by: EC at February 01, 2013 02:42 PM (GQ8sn)

60 Everyone knows that Centaurs come from having sex with donkeys....like in tijuana.

Posted by: Jeremiah Gosh Darn Amerikkka Ali Muhammad Surpra-izi Amin U'rbu T'hol wright at February 01, 2013 02:42 PM (+OTLF)

61 Mr. Andrew Mendoza, age 29, was just nominated by Obama to be Secretary of Defense.







I'd keep him away from the cavalry

Posted by: TheQuietMan at February 01, 2013 02:43 PM (1Jaio)

62 No more anchor ponies!

Posted by: Y-not on the phone at February 01, 2013 02:43 PM (5H6zj)

63

interesting tidbits:

1) he had a girlfriend
2) he stood on a bucket

Posted by: beach at February 01, 2013 02:43 PM (LpQbZ)

64 Derpy Hooves wept.

Posted by: George Orwell what says donuts are a dish best served glazed at February 01, 2013 02:43 PM (Lxw+T)

65 EC, except for the problem of heat.

Mendoza in full fur suit. Trying to bang away on his step stool with a 16 hands high horse. The heat is building up and trapped so he is sweating. The horse is getting annoyed. Mendoza passes out due to heat exhaustion and topples off his step stool. Then the horse proceeds to trample Mendoza to get to the feed.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at February 01, 2013 02:43 PM (EVyWz)

66 > Apparently (just from Ace's quote) he was standing on a bucket.

Dude, you read the posts? Jesus.

Posted by: Lemmenkainen, Freelance Warlord at February 01, 2013 02:43 PM (ZWvOb)

67 Judging from the picture I would bet that the horse looked better than any other female he could get.
Posted by: Vic at February 01, 2013 02:41 PM (53z96)


According to the story, he decided to have sex with the horse when he didn't hear back from his girlfriend. That's got to make the GF feel pretty special. "Meh. Can't get the girlfriend on the phone. Guess I'll go fuck that horse instead."

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Hobbit at February 01, 2013 02:43 PM (4df7R)

68 Mr. Andrew Mendoza, age 29, was just nominated by Obama to be Secretary of Defense.


Not a chance. Overqualified.

Posted by: George Orwell what says donuts are a dish best served glazed at February 01, 2013 02:43 PM (Lxw+T)

69 I will say I'm shocked -- SHOCKED -- that this happened in Texas and not in Florida or Maine, the two whackadoodliest states in the nation for stuff like this.
Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Hobbit at February 01, 2013 02:40 PM (4df7R)



That was pretty much my first reaction as well.

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD. Team Stompy. at February 01, 2013 02:44 PM (VtjlW)

70 When most girls never make it to their sweet sixteen party, I guess a vato gets desperate, I was just wondering if he planned to take the colt and return ti Mehico , so no one else could have it...

Posted by: Clemenza at February 01, 2013 02:44 PM (x59Gv)

71 http://tinyurl.com/bxj4ves (smoking gun)

When approached during the assault, the 31-year-old degenerate stated, 'It's my dog,' and asked, 'What's the problem?'

Posted by: LC LaWedgie at February 01, 2013 02:44 PM (0It32)

72

OT, if you haven't seen this story about a woman protecting herself and child, in her home from 3 intruders, check it out.

Scary from beginning to end for her.

http://cnsnews.com/blog/stephen-gutowski/mother-uses-gun-protect-her-child-armed-intruders

Posted by: beach at February 01, 2013 02:44 PM (LpQbZ)

73
WILD HORSES

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g69labQKuuU

Posted by: The Rolling Stones at February 01, 2013 02:44 PM (4nGf2)

74 I wanna party with you, cowboy.

Posted by: John Winger at February 01, 2013 02:44 PM (CofEF)

75 Mendoza in full fur suit. Trying to bang away on his step stool with a
16 hands high horse. The heat is building up and trapped so he is
sweating. The horse is getting annoyed. Mendoza passes out due to heat
exhaustion and topples off his step stool. Then the horse proceeds to
trample Mendoza to get to the feed.



LOL! I'm picturing the teddy bear from Ted doing that!!

ROFL!!!!

Posted by: EC at February 01, 2013 02:44 PM (GQ8sn)

76 I bet Twinkle Hooves is heart broken and crying on a Care Bear's shoulder.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at February 01, 2013 02:44 PM (EVyWz)

77 :::I was trying to make the horse have a baby, Mendoza explained. I was thinking it would have a baby.":::

P A T H

T O

C I T I Z E N S H I P


Marco Rubio does not find you amusing.

Posted by: George Orwell what says donuts are a dish best served glazed at February 01, 2013 02:44 PM (Lxw+T)

78 Andrew Mendoza in...

N O T

W I T H O U T

M Y

H O R S E M A N

B A B Y

Posted by: Empire of Jeff at February 01, 2013 02:44 PM (6Oaaw)

79 Just doing those jobs that Americans won't do!

Posted by: Hrothgar - LIB or SMOD (for the Children) at February 01, 2013 02:45 PM (Cnqmv)

80 :::I was trying to make the horse have a baby, Mendoza explained. I was thinking it would have a baby.":::
P A T H
T O
C I T I Z E N S H I P


Posted by: Empire of Jeff at February 01, 2013 02:42 PM (6Oaaw)


I just laughed so hard, I think I pulled a back muscle.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Hobbit at February 01, 2013 02:45 PM (4df7R)

81 Doesn't this guy know that neigh means neigh?

Posted by: TheQuietMan at February 01, 2013 02:45 PM (1Jaio)

82 Judging from the picture I would bet that the horse looked better than any other female he could get.


Posted by: Vic at February 01, 2013 02:41 PM (53z96)


Not enough tats and piercings for Mega McCannz

Posted by: Captain Hate at February 01, 2013 02:45 PM (Y4+2O)

83 Dude, you read the posts? Jesus.

1) It's not like I was going to click over to the Smoking Gun. I can't afford the D20 Sanity hit.
2) It's my way of making the rest of you look bad.

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) Channelling Breitbart at February 01, 2013 02:45 PM (/eBe8)

84 ...on second thought, should I have linked 'Beast of Burden'?

Posted by: garrett at February 01, 2013 02:45 PM (4nGf2)

85 Nay means nay!

Posted by: zimriel at February 01, 2013 02:45 PM (WAdfF)

86 This post is dumber than horseman's dick.

Posted by: eleven at February 01, 2013 02:45 PM (fsLdt)

87 No more anchor ponies!
Posted by: Y-not on the phone at February 01, 2013 02:43 PM (5H6zj)


OW OW OW! I laughed so hard again I think I pulled ANOTHER back muscle!

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Hobbit at February 01, 2013 02:45 PM (4df7R)

88 Coke--------------> EC

Posted by: xbradtc at February 01, 2013 02:45 PM (O0L6N)

89 I could have very easily believed you wrote those lines rather than quoting them ace.

Posted by: Dave in Texas at February 01, 2013 02:46 PM (WvXvd)

90
For a palate cleanser....

Baby Clydesdale - 2013 Budweiser Super Bowl Ad - [in advance]

http://youtu.be/o2prAccclXs

Posted by: wheatie at February 01, 2013 02:46 PM (BZMZX)

91 Andrew Mendoza stars as Robert Redford in

T H E

E L E C T R I C

H O R S E M A N

Posted by: George Orwell what says donuts are a dish best served glazed at February 01, 2013 02:46 PM (Lxw+T)

92 30 Guy killed himself in jail.
Posted by: Jumbo Shrimp at February 01, 2013 02:39 PM (DGIjM)

52 :::I was trying to make the horse have a baby, Mendoza explained. I was thinking it would have a baby.":::

P A T H

T O

C I T I Z E N S H I P
Posted by: Empire of Jeff at February 01, 2013 02:42 PM (6Oaaw)

I've...

Got...

A... PLAN!

Posted by: Tom "Tommy Boy" Callahan at February 01, 2013 02:46 PM (KQ53P)

93 WILD HORSES

Buffalo Bill suggests "Goodbye Horses" ...

Posted by: Waterhouse at February 01, 2013 02:46 PM (xGlYu)

94 * cue Mr. Ed theme *

Posted by: EC at February 01, 2013 02:46 PM (GQ8sn)

95 Nothing says 'wholesome' like aneck tattoo.

Posted by: garrett at February 01, 2013 02:46 PM (4nGf2)

96 He probably had a lot of practice balancing on a bucket doing sheetrock, or roofing, or something, so pretty sure he wouldn't fall.

Posted by: Lemmenkainen, Freelance Warlord at February 01, 2013 02:46 PM (ZWvOb)

97 Sorry MWR!

Posted by: Y-not on the phone at February 01, 2013 02:46 PM (5H6zj)

98 It's my day off....

Posted by: The Chicken at February 01, 2013 02:46 PM (xrlp8)

99 WHY?

Posted by: T. Hunter - let it burn at February 01, 2013 02:46 PM (EZl54)

100 The horse was so disappointed. Like a bic pen in a whale's mouth. Or sandra fluke

Posted by: thunderb at February 01, 2013 02:46 PM (PcEua)

101 He should plan to have 3 way with a large sofa...

Posted by: Clemenza at February 01, 2013 02:47 PM (x59Gv)

102

History will name him KRONOS!

Just you wait till that centaur pops out. . . .

Posted by: imp at February 01, 2013 02:47 PM (UaxA0)

103 Doesn't this guy know that neigh means neigh?


BRAVO!!!

Posted by: BlueStateRebel at February 01, 2013 02:47 PM (7ObY1)

104 So I clicked AllenG's name. Holy shit, he has a blog!

Posted by: Lemmenkainen, Freelance Warlord at February 01, 2013 02:47 PM (ZWvOb)

105 He still would have been better than Hagel.

Posted by: Blacksheep at February 01, 2013 02:47 PM (8/DeP)

106 At this point, what difference does it make?

Posted by: Hillary Clinton at February 01, 2013 02:47 PM (Lxw+T)

107 Oh dear God. Pegasus is weeping.

Posted by: Marcus at February 01, 2013 02:47 PM (GGCsk)

108 (Old Letterman gag.)

Yes. I wish he would.

Posted by: AmishDude at February 01, 2013 02:47 PM (T0NGe)

109 He added, I ain't going to lie, I blew a nut in the horse.


RULE #1. ALWAYS LIE.

Rule #2. If caught in the act, refer to rule #1.

Posted by: rickb223 at February 01, 2013 02:47 PM (GFM2b)

110 I was trying to make the horse have a baby, Mendoza explained.


What does foal support cost these days?

Posted by: EC at February 01, 2013 02:47 PM (GQ8sn)

111 Andrew Mendoza in ...

A BOY CALLED HORSEMAN

Posted by: weft cut-loop at February 01, 2013 02:47 PM (xz0nG)

112 So,we got rid of Jordan and now we have a new asshole troll,Andrew.

Posted by: steevy at February 01, 2013 02:48 PM (dBYCN)

113 That horse was a slut.

Posted by: eleven at February 01, 2013 02:48 PM (fsLdt)

114 That horse is crazy!

Posted by: Brian Fellows at February 01, 2013 02:48 PM (QupBk)

115 I could have very easily believed you wrote those lines rather than quoting them ace.
Posted by: Dave in Texas at February 01, 2013 02:46 PM (WvXvd)



Dave, I'm sorry about your horse.

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD. Team Stompy. at February 01, 2013 02:48 PM (VtjlW)

116 Good thing Mendoza didn't think by going after the chicken he would become Achilles.

Posted by: Marcus at February 01, 2013 02:48 PM (GGCsk)

117 Meh. Can't get the girlfriend on the phone. Guess I'll go fuck that horse instead.

Around these parts, we call that the "Matthew Broderick Infidelity Defense".

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars at February 01, 2013 02:48 PM (Jcd0S)

118
So "neigh" means "si" in Spanish?

Posted by: Hrothgar - LIB or SMOD (for the Children) at February 01, 2013 02:48 PM (Cnqmv)

119 This was.....okay.....I got nuthin'.

Posted by: Soona at February 01, 2013 02:48 PM (jNxiU)

120 And yet another mare left single to raise their horseman baby on her own. This is why crime is so high in the centaur community.

Posted by: Drrrrrrop at February 01, 2013 02:48 PM (VEAIv)

121 Gives a whole 'nother meaning to "I rode through the desert on a horse with no name..."

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) Channelling Breitbart at February 01, 2013 02:48 PM (/eBe8)

122 Well, at least Andrew and the horse can get married in Massachusetts.

Posted by: George Orwell what says donuts are a dish best served glazed at February 01, 2013 02:48 PM (Lxw+T)

123 'My Other Ride is a Pinto'

Posted by: Horse Fucker Bumper Sticker at February 01, 2013 02:48 PM (d1PO0)

124 Tony Award winner Andrew Mendoza returns to the stage in...

W H O R E H O R S E

Posted by: Empire of Jeff at February 01, 2013 02:49 PM (6Oaaw)

125 It's the 21st century.
Why do you all hate on Teh Alternative Sexuality?

Posted by: BuddyPC at February 01, 2013 02:49 PM (jfUIE)

126 Hmph!

Posted by: Frau Blcher at February 01, 2013 02:49 PM (KQ53P)

127 OK, dude: "Horse Whisperer" does NOT mean "sweet nothings."

Posted by: NR Pax at February 01, 2013 02:49 PM (j4yce)

128 I blame public schooling
Posted by: Invictus at February 01, 2013 02:34 PM (OQpzc)


You never know. He might have been trying to act out some of the more erotic Greek myths. I mean, look at that face. If that's not the face of a guy who's asked himself, "Could a woman REALLY have sex with a bull and birth the Minotaur?" then I don't know what is.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Hobbit at February 01, 2013 02:49 PM (4df7R)

129 Awesome story. Awesome ending.

Posted by: Adam at February 01, 2013 02:49 PM (Aif/5)

130 Alabama is the most right-leaning state in the country, with slightly
more than half of its residents identifying as conservative, according
to Gallup's "State of the States" analysis of its 2012 polling

It figures that the state ranked 50th in the Nation in education is the most conservative. (would probably win most racist, lowest IQ, most obesity)

sorry, guys, couldnt resist...

Posted by: Walter at February 01, 2013 02:49 PM (a+BXY)

131 Shadowfax didn't seem to mind

Posted by: Gandalf at February 01, 2013 02:49 PM (OqeDl)

132 is he a teacher?

Posted by: phoenixgirl waiting for spring training at February 01, 2013 02:49 PM (GVxQo)

133 'Didn't need to take her on a date.
Just had to stand here, on the crate.'


'In the barn.
On a farm.'

Posted by: rickb223 at February 01, 2013 02:49 PM (GFM2b)

134 Damn you, quietman

Posted by: zimriel at February 01, 2013 02:49 PM (WAdfF)

135 That horse was a slut.

She counted to two with her hoof.

That means anal!

Posted by: Andrew MEN-DO-ZA! at February 01, 2013 02:49 PM (T0NGe)

136 Do you have a way for me to un-read that?

Posted by: Neal K at February 01, 2013 02:49 PM (5dW+Y)

137 Filly Set Me Up!!!

Posted by: Marion Mendoza at February 01, 2013 02:49 PM (/eBe8)

138 @125: While I recognize the sarcasm in your post, there is at least one person out there who is nodding agreeably because he thought you were serious.

Posted by: NR Pax at February 01, 2013 02:50 PM (j4yce)

139 Steven Spielberg directs Andrew Mendoza in:

W H O R E

H O R S E

Posted by: George Orwell what says donuts are a dish best served glazed at February 01, 2013 02:50 PM (Lxw+T)

140 Son, that's what the milking machines are for.

Posted by: Farmer at February 01, 2013 02:50 PM (d1PO0)

141
I said no, no, youre not the one for me.

Posted by: Black Horse and the Cherry Tree at February 01, 2013 02:50 PM (feFL6)

142 Senate material.

Posted by: Mikey NTH - there on Thunder Island! at February 01, 2013 02:50 PM (hLRSq)

143 Good thing Mendoza didn't think by going after the chicken he would become Mercury.

Fixed it.

Sorry I was laughing to hard and my brain rattled against my skull.

Posted by: Marcus at February 01, 2013 02:50 PM (GGCsk)

144
121Gives a whole 'nother meaning to "I rode through the desert on a horse with no name..."

Copyrite infringement. Cease and Desist!

Posted by: Neil Young at February 01, 2013 02:50 PM (xrlp8)

145 Not SecDef....Chief of Staff.

Posted by: BignJames at February 01, 2013 02:50 PM (j7iSn)

146 @124

Damn you to hell, Empire of Jeff. To hell. With a purse and white gloves.

Posted by: George Orwell what says donuts are a dish best served glazed at February 01, 2013 02:50 PM (Lxw+T)

147 20Barack Obama is a stuttering clusterf*ck of a malignant traitor.
Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) Channelling Breitbart at February 01, 2013 02:38 PM (/eBe >>>
>>
>
How did you guys let him beat me so soundly? These days, he's a capableembodiment of adecisive victor. Should't you be calling him CEOAD?

Posted by: Willard Mitt at February 01, 2013 02:50 PM (4bCsd)

148 shit, i don't go for that sweet stuff

Posted by: corner back, 49ers at February 01, 2013 02:51 PM (GVxQo)

149 They shoot in horses, don't they ?

Posted by: grease monkey at February 01, 2013 02:51 PM (VSWPU)

150 "Could a woman REALLY have sex with a bull and birth the Minotaur?"

I knew a girl like that. Her vibrator was a Briggs and Stratton.

Posted by: AmishDude at February 01, 2013 02:51 PM (T0NGe)

151 Yet another metaphor for the Obama Presidency.

Posted by: Roy at February 01, 2013 02:51 PM (VndSC)

152 AoSHQ come for the smart mil blog, stay for the bestiality, hobo hunting, and witty reparte.....

Posted by: sven10077 at February 01, 2013 02:51 PM (8YE3t)

153 This is the guy that should replace SOledad Obrien

Posted by: Jeremiah Gosh Darn Amerikkka Ali Muhammad Surpra-izi Amin U'rbu T'hol wright at February 01, 2013 02:51 PM (+OTLF)

154
Posted by: Neil Young at February 01, 2013 02:50 PM (xrlp

Were you in America?

Posted by: garrett at February 01, 2013 02:51 PM (d1PO0)

155 Who are you to judge?

Posted by: Mr. Ed at February 01, 2013 02:52 PM (Qxdfp)

156 Back in the Saddle Again

Posted by: Gene Autry at February 01, 2013 02:52 PM (feFL6)

157 Unlucky for Mendoza, Mr. Ed died a few years ago and is waiting on the road to hell.

Posted by: Marcus at February 01, 2013 02:52 PM (GGCsk)

158 Geez, I didn't realize how much I needed a really good series of belly laughs. I am now better than I have been since Nov 7th.

Posted by: Hrothgar - LIB or SMOD (for the Children) at February 01, 2013 02:52 PM (Cnqmv)

159 He was just trying to prime the "donkey engine."

Posted by: George Orwell what says donuts are a dish best served glazed at February 01, 2013 02:52 PM (Lxw+T)

160 Harry Reid insists they're still friends.

Posted by: Sgt. York at February 01, 2013 02:52 PM (jEvoA)

161 The man just didn't have good horse sense.

OK, I'm going to try to stop now...

Posted by: NR Pax at February 01, 2013 02:52 PM (j4yce)

Posted by: Sgt. York at February 01, 2013 02:52 PM (jEvoA)

163 What's the big deal about blowing a nut in a horse?

Posted by: Barky McFuckstick at February 01, 2013 02:52 PM (VndSC)

164 was is consensual?

Posted by: phoenixgirl waiting for spring training at February 01, 2013 02:52 PM (GVxQo)

165 By the way, Lionel, what is it with that bizarre freaky bridge at 2:53?

What were you thinking?

Posted by: AmishDude at February 01, 2013 02:52 PM (T0NGe)

166 This is what happens when the country is flooded with assault rifles and large capacity magazine clip bullet holders.

Posted by: dananjcon at February 01, 2013 02:52 PM (jvd3N)

167 So I guess Mendoza brought the date he rode in on.....

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at February 01, 2013 02:52 PM (EVyWz)

168 was the mare made aware of her options?

Posted by: phoenixgirl waiting for spring training at February 01, 2013 02:53 PM (GVxQo)

169 Ban assault buckets!!

Posted by: grease monkey at February 01, 2013 02:53 PM (VSWPU)

170 I think someone needs to inform him that "horseplay" does not mean what he thinks it means.

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) Channelling Breitbart at February 01, 2013 02:53 PM (/eBe8)

171 That nothing I posted was a blank expression in reaction to NR's joke.

Also, Harry Reid insist he's still friends with the horse.

Posted by: Sgt. York at February 01, 2013 02:53 PM (jEvoA)

172 Tony Award winner Andrew Mendoza returns to the stage in...

W H O R E H O R S E


The question left unanswered is, was it an underage Dominican whorehorse?

Posted by: rickb223 at February 01, 2013 02:53 PM (GFM2b)

173 >> Mr. Mendoza, a starry-eyed idealist who dreamed of a world of horsemanbabies, hanged himself while being held for trespassing and indecency with a child.

His ESL completely garbled the meaning of "hung like a horse".

Posted by: Andy at February 01, 2013 02:53 PM (CofEF)

174 Mendoza is hispanic and the horse, was it white?

Maybe he just wanted a horse of a different color.

Posted by: George Orwell what says donuts are a dish best served glazed at February 01, 2013 02:53 PM (Lxw+T)

175 would this make him a brony?

Posted by: phoenixgirl waiting for spring training at February 01, 2013 02:53 PM (GVxQo)

176 Gives a special twist when you think of the motivations behind the Brony craze.

Is he sure he was in the right "spot"?

Posted by: Bitter Clinger (aka Ol' 3 tooth) at February 01, 2013 02:53 PM (3E2th)

177 Are horses covered for abortions in Obamacare or is that one of the exemptions?

Posted by: Marcus at February 01, 2013 02:53 PM (GGCsk)

178 I'm sensing a common theme today, Obamacare $20k, Scott Brown, Horse Fucking...

What's the endgame?

Posted by: Clutch Cargo at February 01, 2013 02:53 PM (Qxdfp)

179 He should have thrown a bear in there, too. Manbearhorse.

Posted by: The Mega Independent at February 01, 2013 02:54 PM (DF7Ca)

180 This was a dumb idea of his. He'd be on the hook for foal support for 18 years (well, 6 in horse years).

Posted by: AmishDude at February 01, 2013 02:54 PM (T0NGe)

181 It figures that the state ranked 50th in the Nation in education is the most conservative.

We're 30th, fool. Just behind Hawaii and Illinois.

Posted by: toby928 Person of Pallor at February 01, 2013 02:54 PM (QupBk)

182 >>>Also, that's NOT how centaurs are made.

Yes, it's much more painful the other way.

Posted by: Eaton Cox at February 01, 2013 02:54 PM (q177U)

183 I am desperately searching for a 'Piebald' joke and coming up empty for the laughter.

Posted by: garrett at February 01, 2013 02:55 PM (d1PO0)

184 I just noticed the put my clothes back on part. I am going to go out on a limb and suggest that when horsefucking it's really not necessary to go Fully Monty.

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD. Team Stompy. at February 01, 2013 02:55 PM (VtjlW)

185 Now that he's passed on; what difference does it make?

Posted by: Bitter Clinger (aka Ol' 3 tooth) at February 01, 2013 02:55 PM (3E2th)

186 Sometimes small things come in big packages.

Andrew Mendoza in...

S E A B I Z N A T C H

Posted by: Empire of Jeff at February 01, 2013 02:55 PM (6Oaaw)

187 You don't think contraceptives are expensive? Have you seen the size of horse pills?

Posted by: Sandra Fluke at February 01, 2013 02:55 PM (Lxw+T)

188 Mendoza had heard that my namesake, Roy Rogers, had Trigger stuffed. He just wasn't clear on the concept.

Posted by: Roy at February 01, 2013 02:56 PM (VndSC)

189 I will say I'm shocked -- SHOCKED -- that this happened in Texas and not in Florida or Maine, the two whackadoodliest states in the nation for stuff like this.
Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Hobbit at February 01, 2013 02:40 PM (4df7R)

Hey! Heh. Yeah...I grew up around some "interesting" folks.

Posted by: Mainah at February 01, 2013 02:56 PM (659DL)

190 Hey! Why doesn't somebody turn this into a play ? I'll bet it could make it to Broadway! We could call it ,"Equus," or something like that...

nah. Who'm I kidding? No normal person would want to sit through a play about a guy who wants to have sex with a horse.

Posted by: RondinellaMamma at February 01, 2013 02:56 PM (53riN)

191 Andrew Mendoza in...

F I L L Y
G O T
F I N G E R E D

Posted by: grognard at February 01, 2013 02:56 PM (NS2Mo)

192 I don't think I can ever watch National Velvet again.

Posted by: George Orwell what says donuts are a dish best served glazed at February 01, 2013 02:56 PM (Lxw+T)

193 True Story

Former co worker lived next to a county sheriff and was told the story of getting a call about a guy trying to make it with a dog off of the side of a rural road. Turns out the guy was not charged with a crimeeven thoughthey found the "couple" engaged in the act becauseit was decided that the dog was technically having sex with the guy, not the other way around... if you know what I mean.

Posted by: AndrewsDad at February 01, 2013 02:56 PM (C2//T)

194 WTF ya'll looking at me for?? I've never even met this guy!!

Eeeeew!!


Posted by: Sarah Jessica Parker at February 01, 2013 02:56 PM (jvd3N)

195 Filly was asking for it. Swishing her tail like that.

Posted by: Horseman Mendoza at February 01, 2013 02:57 PM (BAS5M)

196 I think he misunderstood what they meant by "legalizing horse meat".

Posted by: Clutch Cargo at February 01, 2013 02:57 PM (Qxdfp)

197 This was a dumb idea of his. He'd be on the hook for foal support for 18 years (well, 6 in horse years).
Posted by: AmishDude at February 01, 2013 02:54 PM (T0NGe)


And good luck trying to prove it wasn't yours.

"But ese, that horse, she's a puta whore! That horseman baby, he ain't mine, ese!"

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Hobbit at February 01, 2013 02:57 PM (4df7R)

198 I knew a U.S. Marine that loved horses so much that he kept its jizz in a freezer and made lollipops out of it. He said lots of vets were into it.

Posted by: Pierce Eyehawk at February 01, 2013 02:57 PM (4bCsd)

199 Mendoza gives new meaning to the Trojan Horse.

Posted by: Roy at February 01, 2013 02:57 PM (VndSC)

200 I just saw an update over at Tepid Air. Mr. Ed is taking a very dim view of this.

Posted by: Soona at February 01, 2013 02:57 PM (jNxiU)

201 Obviously, it's not his fault. Nobody ever told him to stop horsing around when he was a child.

Posted by: Marcus at February 01, 2013 02:57 PM (GGCsk)

202 Andrew Mendoza in

M Y
(G I R L)F R I E N D
F L I C K A

"I just can't quit you!"

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) Channelling Breitbart at February 01, 2013 02:57 PM (/eBe8)

203 He said it's right there in the Constitution. All men are created equine.

Posted by: The Mega Independent at February 01, 2013 02:57 PM (DF7Ca)

204 Anthony Mendoza in
CUMS A HORSEMAN

Posted by: steevy at February 01, 2013 02:58 PM (dBYCN)

205 But did the horse make it over the fence or not?

Posted by: kalel666 at February 01, 2013 02:58 PM (gSqI7)

206
I am going to go out on a limb and suggest that when horsefucking it's really not necessary to go Fully Monty.


Maybe with today's fashion. In my day, you'd need an entirely seperate pulley system to accomadate the petticoats and bustles!


Posted by: Zombie Catherine the Great at February 01, 2013 02:58 PM (d1PO0)

207 I have horses myself. I can't imagine my mare standing still for this. She'd have kicked this freak with both back hooves and then spun around and finished him with a double front hoof stomp.

Posted by: Muad'dib at February 01, 2013 02:58 PM (KjlbF)

208 That's messed up, dude. Find a real girlfriend.

Posted by: Manti Te'o at February 01, 2013 02:58 PM (T0NGe)

209 Who cut his hair by the way- an animal groomer or Lawn Boy with a weed whacker?

Posted by: Marcus at February 01, 2013 02:58 PM (GGCsk)

210 Mr. Andrew Mendoza,

No relation.

Posted by: Sen. Menendez (D-NJ) at February 01, 2013 02:58 PM (gCa4h)

211 Andrew Mendoza in
A N D
T H E
H O R S E
Y O U
R O D E
I N
ON

Posted by: grognard at February 01, 2013 02:58 PM (NS2Mo)

212 Hey, this guy is almost as smart as that Hagel guy.

Come to think of it, he was a bit more coherent than Hagel was, so maybe he's smarter.

Posted by: Tom Servo at February 01, 2013 02:58 PM (hTDbY)

213 Mendoza gives new meaning to the Trojan Horse.

*golf clap*

Well played.

Posted by: George Orwell what says donuts are a dish best served glazed at February 01, 2013 02:58 PM (Lxw+T)

214 Posted by: AndrewsDad at February 01, 2013 02:56 PM (C2//T)

Guard? Guard?!

Posted by: Clutch Cargo at February 01, 2013 02:59 PM (Qxdfp)

215 nah. Who'm I kidding? No normal person would want to sit through a play about a guy who wants to have sex with a horse.
Posted by: RondinellaMamma at February 01, 2013 02:56 PM (53riN)



I never ever ever ever, I mean ever, needed to see Harry Potter's junk. Ever.

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD. Team Stompy. at February 01, 2013 02:59 PM (VtjlW)

216 Oh, good grief.

I don't want to hear anything about more about horses for a long time...

Posted by: Mama AJ, Assault Poiser at February 01, 2013 02:59 PM (SUKHu)

217 But did the horse make it over the fence or not?

Doubt it. He looks like a selfish horsefucker to me.

Posted by: eleven at February 01, 2013 02:59 PM (fsLdt)

218 I hope the horse was provided a $2 birth control device.

Posted by: Lena "Bull" Dunham at February 01, 2013 02:59 PM (EGPJQ)

219 204Anthony Mendoza in
CUMS A HORSEMANPosted by: steevy at February 01, 2013 02:58 PM (dBYCN) >>>
>>
>
Are you a veteran? Do you know about this obsession with horses and their frozen loads?

Posted by: Pierce Eyehawk at February 01, 2013 02:59 PM (4bCsd)

220 Wait a minute.

You're saying its OK to RIDE horses, and its even OK to EAT horses, but its not OK to make sweet sweet love to one?


Posted by: looking closely at February 01, 2013 02:59 PM (6Q9g2)

221 You loved him in "Whore Horse"... now Anthony Mendoza stars in 'The dirty Horse whisperer'.

Posted by: Jumbo Shrimp at February 01, 2013 02:59 PM (DGIjM)

222 I remember a couple of years ago Ace asked me to stop making so many rape jokes. It was a simpler time. A more innocent time. A time before he set up a 300+ comment bestiality riff.

Posted by: Empire of Jeff at February 01, 2013 03:00 PM (6Oaaw)

223 S P A N I S H
H O R S E F L Y

Posted by: grognard at February 01, 2013 03:00 PM (NS2Mo)

224 Dear Andrew Mendoza that horse was never poised to have your baby.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at February 01, 2013 03:00 PM (EVyWz)

225
Wait. This isn't a 'Memorial Thread', is it?

I dressed someone down this morning for trashing a memorial thread.

Posted by: garrett at February 01, 2013 03:00 PM (d1PO0)

226 That Mendoza guy is a true Cowboy Poet

Posted by: robtr at February 01, 2013 03:00 PM (rTgOf)

227
<i>He should have thrown a bear in there, too. Manbearhorse.</i>

Damn it, Mendoza, why didn't you call and tell me what you were up to last night?

Posted by: andi sullivan at February 01, 2013 03:00 PM (5iuEW)

228 What part of equal DON'T you understand?!

Posted by: "=" Bumper Sticker Idiot at February 01, 2013 03:00 PM (8GA+4)

229 yeah, but was it horse rape- horse rape?

Posted by: whoopi at February 01, 2013 03:00 PM (gSqI7)

230 Maybe he was gonna do it four times and make the apocalypse get here faster.

Posted by: The Mega Independent at February 01, 2013 03:00 PM (DF7Ca)

231 #193

No, I don't.

Please explain it.

Carefully. . .


Posted by: looking closely at February 01, 2013 03:00 PM (6Q9g2)

232 Ace, I am trying to figure out the terms for the Google search that led you to that story....

Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeechhhh

Posted by: Sean Bannion at February 01, 2013 03:00 PM (sbV1u)

233 Sarah Jessica Parker unavailable for comment.

Posted by: Cicero Kid at February 01, 2013 03:00 PM (tcw1u)

234 Was it a girl horse? If not arresting him could be a hate crime because he had gay sex with a horse

Posted by: TheQuietMan at February 01, 2013 03:01 PM (1Jaio)

235 Thanks to whoever mentioned "Centaur." I added a gag about that.

Posted by: ace at February 01, 2013 03:01 PM (LCRYB)

236 Hey, they're cheaper than dating women. All you need is some apples and sugar cubes and you're in like Flynt!

Posted by: Horseman Mendoza at February 01, 2013 03:01 PM (BAS5M)

237 216 I don't want to hear anything about more about horses for a long time...

Then you better hide in a closet cuz' he's secretary of state.

Posted by: Clutch Cargo at February 01, 2013 03:01 PM (Qxdfp)

238 211 Andrew Mendoza inA N DT H EH O R S EY O UR O D EI NON
Touche'

Posted by: Foghorn Leghorn at February 01, 2013 03:01 PM (EGPJQ)

239 I remember a couple of years ago Ace asked me to stop making so many rape jokes. It was a simpler time. A more innocent time. A time before he set up a 300+ comment bestiality riff.
Posted by: Empire of Jeff at February 01, 2013 03:00 PM (6Oaaw)



I told you to give the time machine that ace doesn't have and why the fuck do you get to borrow it back.

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD. Team Stompy. at February 01, 2013 03:01 PM (VtjlW)

240 His next big role: They Shoot in Horses, Don't They?

Posted by: Chi-Town Jerry at February 01, 2013 03:01 PM (f9c2L)

241
Mika Buyzavowelski was unavailable for polysyllabic comment on this story.

Posted by: Jaws at February 01, 2013 03:01 PM (4I3Uo)

242 Mr. Mendoza, a starry-eyed idealist who dreamed of a world of horsemanbabies, hanged himself while being held for trespassing and indecency with a child.

Hawt.

Posted by: David Carradine at February 01, 2013 03:01 PM (Lxw+T)

243
Anthony Mendoza in
THEY FUCK HORSES, DON"T THEY?

Posted by: garrett at February 01, 2013 03:01 PM (d1PO0)

244 This was all a HUGE misunderstanding.
See, he was getting drunk with Ted Kennedy, and when he heard, "Hey, let's go down to the border and have some fun with some of those fillies!"
Well...

Posted by: Trigger at February 01, 2013 03:01 PM (gUYGX)

245 I have horses myself. I can't imagine my mare standing still for this. She'd have kicked this freak with both back hooves and then spun around and finished him with a double front hoof stomp.
Posted by: Muad'dib
--------
Needs warming up first, eh?

Posted by: Tilikum the Killer Assault Whale at February 01, 2013 03:01 PM (uhftQ)

246 Someone should have told him that Hi Ho Silver doesn't mean the horse is a stoned whore named Silver

Posted by: TheQuietMan at February 01, 2013 03:02 PM (1Jaio)

247 The mental picture of him on the bucket just kills me..

Posted by: Chi-Town Jerry at February 01, 2013 03:02 PM (f9c2L)

248 Even in death Andrew could not get it right. Now if he had actually kicked his step bucket while in the act with the horse, he would be a nominee for a Darwin. But he obviously screwed that up also.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at February 01, 2013 03:02 PM (EVyWz)

249 Thanks to whoever mentioned "Centaur." I added a gag about that.


Hehehe!!! Perfect!

Posted by: EC at February 01, 2013 03:02 PM (GQ8sn)

250 I bet this Mendoza guy trolled here before he offed himself.

Posted by: steevy at February 01, 2013 03:02 PM (dBYCN)

251 Thanks to whoever mentioned "Centaur." I added a gag about that.
Posted by: ace at February 01, 2013 03:01 PM (LCRYB)



Drat. You. To. Heck. That tea that came out my nose just now was really hot.

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD. Team Stompy. at February 01, 2013 03:02 PM (VtjlW)

252 OT: Wonder if our ambassador to Turkey is getting a busy signal right about now...

Posted by: t-bird at February 01, 2013 03:02 PM (FcR7P)

253 WILBURRRRRRRRRRR!

Posted by: Mr. Ed at February 01, 2013 03:02 PM (YmPwQ)

254 Andrew Mendoza said, "...I promise that I have not been back over to the horse since that time."

In the distance, little ones,if you listen closely, you can hearfaint, nigh-imperceptible whinnies asAdelita, the winsome, broken-heartedpony,grieves for her lost Andrew.

Posted by: troyriser at February 01, 2013 03:02 PM (vtiE6)

255 What's funny is that in the next stall someone was getting paid to jerk off a stalion.

Posted by: garrett at February 01, 2013 03:02 PM (d1PO0)

256 Someone should have told him that Hi Ho Silver doesn't mean the horse is a stoned whore named Silver


Posted by: TheQuietMan at February 01, 2013 03:02 PM (1Jaio)


Nice.

Posted by: grognard at February 01, 2013 03:03 PM (NS2Mo)

257 Mika - a horse? ohhh, ummhuh.

Posted by: exceller at February 01, 2013 03:03 PM (ROGMG)

258 The Headless Horseman?

Posted by: Marcus at February 01, 2013 03:03 PM (GGCsk)

259 Guy probably wasn't gracious, or blessed with long arms, enough to even give the horse a reach around, either.

Posted by: kalel666 at February 01, 2013 03:03 PM (gSqI7)

260 Mendoza, Sarah Jessica Parker and a horse walk into a bar.

Bartender says? Threesome?

Posted by: Bitter Clinger (aka Ol' 3 tooth) at February 01, 2013 03:03 PM (3E2th)

261
Rupert Pupkin loves the fact that there is a nice long thread about horses and cum that is being obsessed over by the far-right intelligencia that fucked Romney in the ass publicly. Well done -- and four. more. years. Bozos.

Posted by: Pierce Eyehawk at February 01, 2013 03:03 PM (4bCsd)

262 Its his own little Dream Act.

Posted by: zsasz at February 01, 2013 03:03 PM (MMC8r)

263 Someone should have told him that Hi Ho Silver doesn't mean the horse is a stoned whore named Silver
Posted by: TheQuietMan at February 01, 2013 03:02 PM (1Jaio)



OWWWWWWWWWW DAMMIT!

How many muscles can one person's back HAVE?

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Hobbit at February 01, 2013 03:03 PM (4df7R)

264 I love these early drinking Friday threads.

Posted by: Roy at February 01, 2013 03:03 PM (VndSC)

265 Wonder if our ambassador to Turkey is getting a busy signal right about now...

I wonder how many of our ambassadors have former Blackwater folks on speed-dial these days...

Posted by: Brother Cavil, Keeper of Ampersands and Breitbart Login Spaces at February 01, 2013 03:04 PM (GBXon)

266 A time before he set up a 300+ comment bestiality riff.

Don't bring Hillary Clinton into this.

Posted by: George Orwell what says donuts are a dish best served glazed at February 01, 2013 03:04 PM (Lxw+T)

267 Makes me a little suspicious of people with "bucket lists" now.

Posted by: t-bird at February 01, 2013 03:04 PM (FcR7P)

268 I am betting he would have been real popular in prison.

Posted by: Marcus at February 01, 2013 03:04 PM (GGCsk)

269 Ok, here is a serious documentary on same.

(Or, at least as serious of a documentary as is reasonably possible, given the topic).

The donkeys of rural Columbia:
http://tinyurl.com/bo32rex

I guess, I should probably point out that the video probably isn't safe for work due to the subject matter involved (or home. . .or anywhere else).

Posted by: looking closely at February 01, 2013 03:04 PM (PwGfd)

270 Dear Penthorse Letters

Posted by: Regular Moron at February 01, 2013 03:04 PM (feFL6)

271 Turns out the guy was not charged with a crimeeven thoughthey found the "couple" engaged in the act becauseit was decided that the dog was technically having sex with the guy, not the other way around... if you know what I mean.


Epic fail or one very bad assed dog.

Posted by: rickb223 at February 01, 2013 03:04 PM (GFM2b)

272 And remember, Morons, only you can prevent Bronyism.

Posted by: Brother Cavil, Keeper of Ampersands and Breitbart Login Spaces at February 01, 2013 03:05 PM (GBXon)

273
He ran calling, "Wildfire".
He ran calling, "Wildfire".
He ran calling, "Wi-i-i-i-i-ild-fi-re".

Posted by: Dirks Strewn at February 01, 2013 03:05 PM (VLifP)

274

Maybe he saw this man-zebra clip?

http://tinyurl.com/bxu5wtx

Posted by: Zeb-Rah at February 01, 2013 03:05 PM (LpQbZ)

275 Bartender: Why the long face pal?
Horse: Some guy just jumped into my corral, fucked me in the ass and didn't even go for a reach-around!

Posted by: Clutch Cargo at February 01, 2013 03:05 PM (Qxdfp)

276 Ho-ly crap...a fourth layoff. All in our California plant. Seems someone is finally realizing it's more cost efficient to run things in Texas. Sorry Cali...

Posted by: DangerGirl at February 01, 2013 03:05 PM (0+XZq)

277 What's funny is that in the next stall someone was getting paid to jerk off a stallion.

Well, this is the Obama economy.

Posted by: George Orwell what says donuts are a dish best served glazed at February 01, 2013 03:05 PM (Lxw+T)

278 In Russia, horse fucks you.

Posted by: Roy at February 01, 2013 03:05 PM (VndSC)

279 Rupert, you have my sympathy. Sincerely.

Posted by: Adam at February 01, 2013 03:05 PM (Aif/5)

280 Liked a horse. Hung.


I think he got it backwards.

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at February 01, 2013 03:05 PM (/hphm)

281 Right now, every rancher in Texas is removing buckets from their horse stalls and Googling "horse chastity belts".

Posted by: Marcus at February 01, 2013 03:05 PM (GGCsk)

282 >>>What's funny is that in the next stall someone was getting paid to jerk off a stalion.

that is kind of funny.

But then that's GIVING, not getting.

Posted by: ace at February 01, 2013 03:05 PM (LCRYB)

283 Hey Mendoza, have you ever seen any "goat-babies" running around in the Middle East? Doesn't that tell you anything?

Posted by: Mahmoud Ahmadinejad at February 01, 2013 03:05 PM (QKKT0)

284 261

Lemme guess-- you're a horse-fucker, too.

Posted by: zsasz at February 01, 2013 03:06 PM (MMC8r)

285 As punishment, he should be forced to endure a male horse!

Posted by: ilovebacon at February 01, 2013 03:06 PM (Fo561)

286 I don't care what anyone says, I refuse to buy anymore glue. Ever.

Posted by: George Orwell what says donuts are a dish best served glazed at February 01, 2013 03:06 PM (Lxw+T)

287 Why is the Centaur shooting that arrow?

There's nothing to shoot at.

What's he trying to hit? The lightening 20 miles in the distance?

First, gravity.

Second, even if he could get enough initial velocity to overcome gravity, the wind would put out that stupid fire.

Third, gravity.

Seriously, what the hell is the centaur aiming at?

Posted by: AmishDude at February 01, 2013 03:06 PM (T0NGe)

288 Hey Ace - it's your turn in the stable.

Posted by: Pierce Eyehawk at February 01, 2013 03:06 PM (4bCsd)

289 The centaur picture really brings the room together. The insanity, it's palpable.

here's a question, though: the centaur in that picture is poised (vocab word!) to loose a flaming arrow at... what? There's absolutely nothing there. The barren valley at which he's aiming is fucking EMPTY. He might as well be trying to hit a virgin in Lena Dunham's circle of friends.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Hobbit at February 01, 2013 03:06 PM (4df7R)

290 Ace-take a break. Posting on bestiality cries out (or neighs out) for someone who needs a break.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at February 01, 2013 03:06 PM (+qMCO)

291 Andrew Mendoza in:
M Y
L I T T L E
P O N Y

"Friendship" is Magic

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) Channelling Breitbart at February 01, 2013 03:06 PM (/eBe8)

292 Stop beating this thread...

Posted by: weft cut-loop at February 01, 2013 03:07 PM (xz0nG)

293 'Neigh' means nay!

Posted by: Sarah Jessica Parker at February 01, 2013 03:07 PM (MMC8r)

294 ATL mall cop tasers mom in front of brood. Skip to 3:00ish for the goods.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TMCfMh9hEWA

Posted by: Flounder at February 01, 2013 03:07 PM (Kkt/i)

295 Meh, he actually rejected the horse because of FUPA.

Posted by: George Orwell what says donuts are a dish best served glazed at February 01, 2013 03:07 PM (Lxw+T)

296 Van art does not have to make sense.

It just is.

Posted by: Waterhouse at February 01, 2013 03:07 PM (xGlYu)

297

Thanks to whoever mentioned "Centaur." I added a gag about that.


Love the picture ace.

Chiron is not amused though (pic in nic)

Posted by: imp at February 01, 2013 03:07 PM (UaxA0)

298 Unless you are Jim Neigh!-bors.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at February 01, 2013 03:07 PM (EVyWz)

299 He was last spotted with a six-pack of beer and a bale of hay.

Posted by: Cicero Kid at February 01, 2013 03:07 PM (tcw1u)

300 You have sex with one damn horse and suddenly everyone's calling you a horsefucker.

Posted by: Andrew Mendoza at February 01, 2013 03:07 PM (QKKT0)

301 He gave her the old Kentucky stick-in-the-mud.


Posted by: bonhomme at February 01, 2013 03:07 PM (JbocP)

302 Gives new meaning to a "stable " of whores...

Posted by: Marcus at February 01, 2013 03:07 PM (GGCsk)

303 Can't wait til he uses the Brony defense.

Posted by: Mama AJ, Assault Poiser at February 01, 2013 03:07 PM (SUKHu)

304 Hung like a horse(fucker)

Posted by: kalel666 at February 01, 2013 03:08 PM (gSqI7)

305 Instead of in the Barrel, we should call it Standing on the Bucket.

Posted by: Bitter Clinger (aka Ol' 3 tooth) at February 01, 2013 03:08 PM (3E2th)

306 AmishDude: GMTA!

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Hobbit at February 01, 2013 03:08 PM (4df7R)

307 I hear the stallionsdown at the corral were lining up for their turn at Mr. Mendoza. Not sure they were going to be quite so gentle.

Posted by: Foghorn Leghorn at February 01, 2013 03:08 PM (EGPJQ)

308 This is why I come to this blog. Horse sense.

Posted by: Soona at February 01, 2013 03:09 PM (jNxiU)

309 Centaurs were real good at parties until that one night when they really lost control. After that those goat buggering Greeks wiped the centaurs out.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at February 01, 2013 03:09 PM (EVyWz)

310 Posted by: AmishDude at February 01, 2013 03:06 PM (T0NGe)

Dude. It's a picture of a centaur, and you're concerned about logic?

You were disappointed because the opening theme to A Knights Tale was "We Will Rock You," weren't you?

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) Channelling Breitbart at February 01, 2013 03:09 PM (/eBe8)

311 He was a very un-stable person.

Posted by: Mendoza's Family at February 01, 2013 03:09 PM (MMC8r)

312 Seriously, what the hell is the centaur aiming at?

Posted by: AmishDude


The crossbow fan in the hanglider.

Duh!

Posted by: weft cut-loop at February 01, 2013 03:09 PM (xz0nG)

313 Sadly, if Obama was the one doing this, MFM would sit on it, before ultimately coming out in support of horsefucking as the new normal.

Posted by: Flounder at February 01, 2013 03:09 PM (Kkt/i)

314

Hey Mendoza, have you ever seen any "goat-babies" running around in the Middle East? Doesn't that tell you anything?



Shit, the place is lousy with fat old satyrs. What are YOU talking about??

Posted by: imp at February 01, 2013 03:09 PM (UaxA0)

315 Artist's Conception

Perhaps a bit more likely: http://is.gd/yIOejw

Posted by: toby928 Person of Pallor at February 01, 2013 03:09 PM (QupBk)

316 You all don't see the flaming eyes and mouth of the Thunder monster the Centaur's about to light up?

Posted by: Bitter Clinger (aka Ol' 3 tooth) at February 01, 2013 03:10 PM (3E2th)

317 Alright, alright. I think we're beating a dead horse here.

Posted by: The Mega Independent at February 01, 2013 03:10 PM (DF7Ca)

318 Somehow it seems like a good time for a Ron Jeremy update.

Posted by: zsasz at February 01, 2013 03:10 PM (MMC8r)

319 When asked for comment on Mendoza's crime, local veterinarian Dr. Marcus Roberts replied, "That is absolutely disgusting for someone to abuse these gentle creatures in such a manner," as he plunged his arm in a horse's asshole up to the shoulder, grasping its cervix to guide the 30" long insemination syringe held in his other hand.

Posted by: Empire of Jeff at February 01, 2013 03:10 PM (6Oaaw)

320 OH, WILBUR!!!

Posted by: Mr. Ed at February 01, 2013 03:11 PM (MMC8r)

321 Notice: No further Mule rentals for Mr. Mendoza.

Posted by: Bitter Clinger (aka Ol' 3 tooth) at February 01, 2013 03:11 PM (3E2th)

322 Not a dead horse, just a dead inmate.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at February 01, 2013 03:11 PM (EVyWz)

323 Alright, alright. I think we're beating a dead horse here.
Posted by: The Mega Independent at February 01, 2013 03:10 PM (DF7Ca)


As long as we're not beating OFF a dead horse, I'm cool with it.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Hobbit at February 01, 2013 03:11 PM (4df7R)

324
In Russia, horse fucks you.

You got that right.

Posted by: Zombie Catherine the Great at February 01, 2013 03:11 PM (5iuEW)

325 Poor miho never could lose the picture in his head of his Tia Linda with that donkey in Tijuana.

Posted by: Narrator at February 01, 2013 03:11 PM (0It32)

326 319 Umm,reach the cervix by way of the asshole?I feel sorry for your wife.

Posted by: steevy at February 01, 2013 03:11 PM (dBYCN)

327 DHS is coming out with another instructional video. It's called "Unicorns Like to Fuck Too".

Posted by: Soona at February 01, 2013 03:11 PM (jNxiU)

328 Wahat-?

300 comments and NO HADJI??!?

Guess that horse really is Haram

Posted by: Bigby's Cow Hand at February 01, 2013 03:11 PM (3ZtZW)

329 I laughed so loud at the caption people walking by my office thought something was wrong.

I told them- "no- it's OK. I am pretty certain my sanity is leaving me".

Posted by: Marcus at February 01, 2013 03:11 PM (GGCsk)

330 MENDOZAAAAAAA!

Posted by: Flicka at February 01, 2013 03:11 PM (QupBk)

331 Latest rumor is that Mendoza met the horse while listening to the London Boys hit "Is This Love?"

Posted by: George Orwell what says donuts are a dish best served glazed at February 01, 2013 03:11 PM (Lxw+T)

332


PETA doesn't have a clue how to respond to this.

Posted by: all animals; all the time at February 01, 2013 03:12 PM (LpQbZ)

333
I don't know anything about horses, but I did stand (at a safe distance) and watch as a vet put on a plastic sleeve and ran his entire arm up the ass of horse at my neighbor's house.

The horse hardly flinched.

I doubt a horse would find this particular latino barely noticable.

Posted by: jwest at February 01, 2013 03:12 PM (ZDsRL)

334 First there was "Black Beauty".
The Blazing Black Stallion that Carried a Boy to Manhood.

Now, there's "Brown Horseman Baby Mama".
The Abysmal Brown Horse that Transported a Mexican to Ecstasy.

Posted by: Clutch Cargo at February 01, 2013 03:12 PM (Qxdfp)

335 His Mom must be so proud.

Posted by: Count de Monet at February 01, 2013 03:12 PM (BAS5M)

336 Gives a whole new meaning to "ride" a horse.

Totally wipes out "donkey punch" though. His arms would never be long enough.

Posted by: rickb223 at February 01, 2013 03:12 PM (GFM2b)

337 When asked for comment on Mendoza's crime, local veterinarian Dr. Marcus Roberts replied, "That is absolutely disgusting for someone to abuse these gentle creatures in such a manner," as he plunged his arm in a horse's asshole up to the shoulder, grasping its cervix to guide the 30" long insemination syringe held in his other hand.
Posted by: Empire of Jeff at February 01, 2013 03:10 PM (6Oaaw)


... The vet is trying to inseminate the horse up the ass?

Does the vet know how baby horses are made?

(I keed!)

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Hobbit at February 01, 2013 03:12 PM (4df7R)

338
EoJ gets it.

Posted by: garrett at February 01, 2013 03:12 PM (WbB1P)

339 EoJ. Lets hope the vet was inseminating a mare or he is in some serious trouble.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at February 01, 2013 03:12 PM (EVyWz)

340 Mendoza was doing jobs Americans won't do.

Posted by: George Orwell what says donuts are a dish best served glazed at February 01, 2013 03:13 PM (Lxw+T)

341 The Opening of Misty of Chincoteague

Posted by: Jinx the Cat at February 01, 2013 03:13 PM (l3vZN)

342 The Blazing Black Stallion that Carried a Boy to Manhood.

ISWYDT

Posted by: Flicka at February 01, 2013 03:13 PM (QupBk)

343 Seriously, what the hell is the centaur aiming at?
Posted by: AmishDude at February 01, 2013 03:06 PM (T0NGe)

In Dante's 'Inferno', centaurs kept the violent and bloodthirsty damned imprisoned foreverin a river of boiling blood (Seventh Circle, I think), with each of the damned kept at a depth appropriate to his sins. If the damned soul tried to go to a lower level and lessen the pain, they would be driven back where they belonged by the centaurs, using bows and arrows.

Posted by: troyriser at February 01, 2013 03:13 PM (vtiE6)

344 Dude, get a goat.

Posted by: Mohammed at February 01, 2013 03:13 PM (QKKT0)

345 OK.

The phrases "beating a dead horse" and " a stable of whores" are no longer permitted.

Posted by: Marcus at February 01, 2013 03:13 PM (GGCsk)

346 Empire of Jeff at February 01, 2013 03:10 PM (6Oaaw)

Or to remove an impaction. Some horses are prone to impaction. Especially if they're not fed properly. It can kill them. The usual treatment is arm deep pulling partially digested material out.

When I first saw this being done; put me off any desire to be a large animal Vet.

Posted by: Bitter Clinger (aka Ol' 3 tooth) at February 01, 2013 03:13 PM (3E2th)

347 sort of

Posted by: garrett at February 01, 2013 03:13 PM (WbB1P)

348 Wonder if he needed to use stirrups. Or a saddle. Or reins. Hmmmm.

Posted by: Foghorn Leghorn at February 01, 2013 03:13 PM (EGPJQ)

349 This is an affront to my people!!

Posted by: John Kerry at February 01, 2013 03:14 PM (jvd3N)

350 Once you go Black Beauty...

Posted by: The Mega Independent at February 01, 2013 03:14 PM (DF7Ca)

351 Dude, get a goat.
Posted by: Mohammed at February 01, 2013 03:13 PM (QKKT0)

Yeah. You don't need a bucket then.

Posted by: Bitter Clinger (aka Ol' 3 tooth) at February 01, 2013 03:14 PM (3E2th)

352 To bad someone didn't reign him in.

Posted by: Marcus at February 01, 2013 03:14 PM (GGCsk)

353 They must sell the horse in the next village now.

Posted by: Achmed at February 01, 2013 03:14 PM (l3vZN)

354 He put rufies in the feedbag.

Posted by: George Orwell what says donuts are a dish best served glazed at February 01, 2013 03:14 PM (Lxw+T)

355 No self-respecting centaur would really use a longbow.

Posted by: Cicero, Semiautomatic Assault Commenter at February 01, 2013 03:15 PM (QKKT0)

356 What?


I was just horsing around.

Posted by: Zombie Andrew Mendoza at February 01, 2013 03:15 PM (/eBe8)

357 It's safer to be a top than a bottom:


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Enumclaw_horse_sex_case

Posted by: zsasz at February 01, 2013 03:15 PM (MMC8r)

358

MWR, AllenG(ay), weft-cunt, Cuntpile of Jeff, alexthetrick, Hrothgagger, The Queef Man, et
al. >>
>>>Your obsession with horses and ejaculate are poetically delicious.

Posted by: Pierce Eyehawk at February 01, 2013 03:15 PM (4bCsd)

359 Seriously, what the hell is the centaur aiming at?

The Mighty Crab Herds that darken the plain.

Posted by: Flicka at February 01, 2013 03:15 PM (QupBk)

360 ...

Okay, I know it's stupid to be further critiquing the epic centaur artwork, but either that centaur is a gelding, or the term "hung like a horse" is a gross exaggeration of true proportions.

Or it's a hermaphrodite centaur.

The therapy bills must be HUGE.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Hobbit at February 01, 2013 03:15 PM (4df7R)

361 To bad someone didn't reign him in.
Posted by: Marcus
--------
Couldn't. He was chomping at the bit.

Posted by: Tilikum the Killer Assault Whale at February 01, 2013 03:15 PM (uhftQ)

362 ATL mall cop tasers mom in front of brood. Skip to 3:00ish for the goods.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TMCfMh9hEWA




Wow. She got dropped!

Posted by: EC at February 01, 2013 03:15 PM (GQ8sn)

363
>>put me off any desire to be a large animal Vet.<<

Roseanne.

That's what kept me out of large animal veterinary studies.

Posted by: Tom Arnold at February 01, 2013 03:15 PM (WbB1P)

364

"But you've got to remember that, at some point, there's gonna be a horse penis in there."


"Fair enough...."

Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at February 01, 2013 03:15 PM (kdS6q)

365 NOW I finally figured out how the Senator from MA got to be 1/32 Cherokee. (slaps forehead)

Posted by: Foghorn Leghorn at February 01, 2013 03:15 PM (EGPJQ)

366 You're gonna need a bigget bucket.

Posted by: Chief Brody at February 01, 2013 03:15 PM (BAS5M)

367 Can you imagine how expensive it is to vajazzle something that large?

Posted by: George Orwell what says donuts are a dish best served glazed at February 01, 2013 03:15 PM (Lxw+T)

368 Gives a whole new meaning to crossing the Mendoza line.


Posted by: dananjcon at February 01, 2013 03:15 PM (jvd3N)

369 Another in need of the banhammer ace.

Posted by: steevy at February 01, 2013 03:16 PM (dBYCN)

370 367Can you imagine how expensive it is to vajazzle something that large?Posted by: George Orwell what says donuts are a dish best served glazed at February 01, 2013 03:15 PM (Lxw+T) >>>
>>
>
I figured you for the one to post it on tube8.

Posted by: Pierce Eyehawk at February 01, 2013 03:16 PM (4bCsd)

371 >Posted by: Bitter Clinger (aka Ol' 3 tooth) at February 01, 2013 03:13 PM (3E2th)
<

I am gonna say "horse laxative for $300, Monty".

Posted by: Marcus at February 01, 2013 03:16 PM (GGCsk)

372 27
Dear G_d, I hope it was a mare.


Posted by: Fritz at February 01, 2013 02:39 PM (UzPAd)

Of course! The guy's not gay, afterall.

Posted by: Flounder at February 01, 2013 03:16 PM (Kkt/i)

373 Ok, here is a serious documentary on same.

(Or, at least as serious of a documentary as is reasonably possible, given the topic).

The donkeys of rural Columbia:
http://tinyurl.com/bo32rex


Live showings every weekend in "Select" bars in Tijuana.

Posted by: rickb223 at February 01, 2013 03:17 PM (GFM2b)

374 His Mom must be so proud.

Srsly.....wait til your mom is dead before you start fucking animals.

Posted by: eleven at February 01, 2013 03:17 PM (fsLdt)

375 If Fast and Furious had distributed Fleshlights instead of firearms we would have fewer unfortunate incidents like this.

Posted by: Cicero, Semiautomatic Assault Commenter at February 01, 2013 03:17 PM (QKKT0)

376
Gives a whole new meaning to crossing the Mendoza line.


Coffee through the nose.

Posted by: garrett at February 01, 2013 03:17 PM (WbB1P)

377 New thread is up..I think Ace just posted a promo for man-horse marriage or something.

Posted by: RondinellaMamma at February 01, 2013 03:17 PM (53riN)

378 Hmm, impaction?

I think I [burp] got some bad hay last night...

Posted by: Reggie Love at February 01, 2013 03:18 PM (Qxdfp)

379 I believe all of us should be treated as equine under the law.

Posted by: George Orwell what says donuts are a dish best served glazed at February 01, 2013 03:18 PM (Lxw+T)

380 ATL mall cop tasers mom in front of brood.

There were not nearly enough beatdowns applied in the course of that incident.

Posted by: Brother Cavil, Keeper of Ampersands and Breitbart Login Spaces at February 01, 2013 03:18 PM (GBXon)

381
How come nobody's talking about Benghazi or Fast and Furious anymore. Right. Nobody ever cared about it except the PLOCHC.

Posted by: Pierce Eyehawk at February 01, 2013 03:18 PM (4bCsd)

382 278 In Russia, horse fucks you.
Posted by: Roy at February 01, 2013 03:05 PM (VndSC)

Thats Mexico, and a donkey.

Posted by: Jollyroger at February 01, 2013 03:18 PM (t06LC)

383 362
ATL mall cop tasers mom in front of brood. Skip to 3:00ish for the goods.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TMCfMh9hEWA



Wow. She got dropped!


Posted by: EC at February 01, 2013 03:15 PM (GQ8sn)
**Heheh...like a tree falling in the woods LuLz.
We're sooo f-in doomed.


Posted by: dananjcon at February 01, 2013 03:19 PM (jvd3N)

384 I am gonna say "horse laxative for $300, Monty".


Posted by: Marcus at February 01, 2013 03:16 PM (GGCsk)

Yeah but from what I understand, sometimes the wait could be too long. Like if the owner didn't call the Vet soon enough.
Hey what do I know. Maybe he got his jollies off it and that was his "cure" for every ailment.We've SEEN let along heard of worse on this blog. NTTATWWT

Posted by: Bitter Clinger (aka Ol' 3 tooth) at February 01, 2013 03:19 PM (3E2th)

385 I love the ponies.

Posted by: Winston at February 01, 2013 03:19 PM (FggW0)

386 :::339 EoJ. Lets hope the vet was inseminating a mare or he is in some serious trouble.
Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at February 01, 2013 03:12 PM (EVyWz)::::

My wife's people are dairy farmers. My uncle is a horse doc.

Seen it many times. Arm up the ass, grasp the cervix through the wall of the colon to guide the tip of the syringe into the proper position. The syringe, of course, is in the vagina. You're not going to get both arms in the same hole unless your shoulders are one inch wide.

And at $60 per straw, or more, these folk don't hesitate to e right in there.

Not EVERYTHING I say is bullshit, you know.

Posted by: Empire of Jeff at February 01, 2013 03:19 PM (6Oaaw)

387 Hey Ace - it's your turn in the stable.


Yay!
We finally got rid of that smelly barrel!

Wait!

Posted by: rickb223 at February 01, 2013 03:19 PM (GFM2b)

388 Ob+amao voter...probably

Posted by: torabora at February 01, 2013 03:20 PM (zBN19)

389 Srsly.....wait til your mom is dead before you start fucking animals.
Posted by: eleven at February 01, 2013 03:17 PM (fsLdt)

Yeah. So she can WATCH from Heaven.

Posted by: Bitter Clinger (aka Ol' 3 tooth) at February 01, 2013 03:20 PM (3E2th)

390
Not EVERYTHING I say is bullshit, you know. Posted by: Empire of Jeff at February 01, 2013 03:19 PM (6Oaaw) >>>
>>
>
Perhaps, but in light of this thread, I can safely say that you are an exemplary "One Trick Pony."

Posted by: Pierce Eyehawk at February 01, 2013 03:20 PM (4bCsd)

391 Geez. Almost 400 comments on sensuous horse flesh.

Posted by: Soona at February 01, 2013 03:20 PM (jNxiU)

392
You're not going to get both arms in the same hole unless your shoulders are one inch wide.



Care to try, big boy?

Posted by: Sandra Fluke at February 01, 2013 03:20 PM (WbB1P)

393 Hey what do I know. Maybe he got his jollies off it and that was his "cure" for every ailment.We've SEEN let along heard of worse on this blog. NTTATWWT
Posted by: Bitter Clinger (aka Ol' 3 tooth) at February 01, 2013 03:19 PM (3E2th)


If you've ever seen the PBS dramatization of the works of James Herriot, you know that shoving your arm up the back end of a large farm animal is virtually de rigeur when it comes to diagnosing or treating various maladies

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Hobbit at February 01, 2013 03:21 PM (4df7R)

394 You have to admit, she's the best SoS the arabs ever had.
Posted by: Invictus
Read an article today where she talks about her critics over the Benghazi debacle: She told The Associated Press that critics of the administration's handling of the attack don't live in an "evidence-based world" and their refusal to "accept the facts" is unfortunate and regrettable for the political system.
Wow, thank you Hillary for setting me straight. Here I thought that we were misled then repeatedly lied to. What a lying bitch.

Posted by: Cheri at February 01, 2013 03:21 PM (G+Wff)

395 If you've ever seen the PBS dramatization of the works of James Herriot, you know that shoving your arm up the back end of a large farm animal is virtually de rigeur when it comes to diagnosing or treating various maladiesPosted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Hobbit at February 01, 2013 03:21 PM (4df7R) >>>
>>
>>
>
LOFL. I wondered why you were a Herriot fan.

Posted by: Pierce Eyehawk at February 01, 2013 03:22 PM (4bCsd)

396 JJ Abrams directs ...

T H E

F O U R

M E N D O Z A S

O F T H E

A P O C A L Y S P E

Posted by: Adriane ... at February 01, 2013 03:23 PM (TvO05)

397 You bet we looked away. Eww.

Posted by: the ghosts at February 01, 2013 03:23 PM (QupBk)

398
395If you've ever seen the PBS dramatization of the works of James Herriot, you know that shoving your arm up the back end of a large farm animal is virtually de rigeur when it comes to diagnosing or treating various maladiesPosted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Hobbit at February 01, 2013 03:21 PM (4df7R)
>>>
>>
>
>
Still LOFL. "Maladies" eh? Like equine erectile dysfunction?

Posted by: Pierce Eyehawk at February 01, 2013 03:23 PM (4bCsd)

399 LOL - Premature equine ejaculation?

Posted by: Pierce Eyehawk at February 01, 2013 03:24 PM (4bCsd)

400 Andrew Mendoza in "The Best Little Whore Horse in Texas!"

Posted by: RushBabe at February 01, 2013 03:25 PM (tQHzJ)

401 I heard they got him when he went back and tried to kill the mare. He was afraid she'd tell.

Posted by: comatus at February 01, 2013 03:25 PM (qaVK+)

402 It's a good thing Mendy decided not to hang around for the long haul cuz the definition of amnesty would have needed to be broadened considerably.


You have to wonder if the "sewing the wild oats" thing somehow got lost in translation.

.......that's without even getting into his understanding of the concept of getting some tail.


Posted by: ontherocks at February 01, 2013 03:26 PM (aZ6ew)

403 You'll have to excuse my ramblings. My father beat me incessantly when I was younger and my mother was a whore. It probably doesn't help that I drink draino and mix rat poison in with my meth.

Posted by: Pierce Eyehawk at February 01, 2013 03:27 PM (wszED)

404 Well now we know why you're an attention whore.

Posted by: Bitter Clinger (aka Ol' 3 tooth) at February 01, 2013 03:28 PM (3E2th)

405 The horse was so disappointed. Like a bic pen in a whale's mouth. Or sandra fluke

On the ONT, this is referred to as "throwing a hot dog down a hallway."

Posted by: RushBabe at February 01, 2013 03:29 PM (tQHzJ)

406
someone was getting paid to jerk off a stalion.
Oddly enough, that used to be my job, though I tended to use my mouth instead of my hands.

Posted by: Pierce Hawkeye at February 01, 2013 03:29 PM (5iuEW)

407 Demand a plan. For horsebabies.

Posted by: gigg at February 01, 2013 03:29 PM (41VCE)

408 A new Superbowl ad from the infamous Budweiser Clydesdales.
(this will take the ick factor out of the sexhorsemanbaby story)
http://youtu.be/o2prAccclXs

Posted by: Cheri at February 01, 2013 03:29 PM (G+Wff)

409 Pencil down a well.

Posted by: gigg at February 01, 2013 03:30 PM (41VCE)

410 "Horse ejaculate? Why yes, I'll have another helping."

-Pierce Eyehawk, who doesn't know that "ejaculate" is not the same as "radish"

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Hobbit at February 01, 2013 03:30 PM (4df7R)

411 DREAM ACT
*I denounce myself for that comment*

Posted by: torabora at February 01, 2013 03:30 PM (zBN19)

412
Pierce Eyehawk, who doesn't know that "ejaculate" is not the same as "radish"
...does it matter?

Posted by: Pierce Hawkeye at February 01, 2013 03:32 PM (5iuEW)

413 He should have just called it performance art, used the 1A defense, and surrounded himself with high-minded liberal friends.

Posted by: Flounder at February 01, 2013 03:33 PM (Kkt/i)

414
as he stepped up on the stool, it would have been funny if Chris Hansen stepped out from behind a door, "Hey, how are you doing tonight?".
"We were just going to hang out and watch TV man, I swear"

Posted by: exceller at February 01, 2013 03:33 PM (ROGMG)

415 414-

" I was gonna warn this horse about the dangers of perverts like me"

Posted by: gigg at February 01, 2013 03:35 PM (41VCE)

416 Are horseman babies covered in Obamacare?

Posted by: TheQuietMan at February 01, 2013 03:36 PM (1Jaio)

417 Andrew Mendoza stars in

MOTHER LODE.

Posted by: Flounder at February 01, 2013 03:37 PM (Kkt/i)

418 This world was never meant for one as beautiful as he.

Posted by: Free2Smooze at February 01, 2013 03:38 PM (LyrWf)

419 Does Texas law dictate that if Mendoza were convicted, he would have to go from stall to stall introducing himself?

Posted by: BuddyPC at February 01, 2013 03:43 PM (jfUIE)

420 it would have been funny if Chris Hansen stepped out from behind a door, "Hey, how are you doing tonight?".

Has Chris Hansen done one of those since he was outed for cheating on his wife? Seems like it could get awkward for both him and the perv.

Posted by: Ian S. at February 01, 2013 03:44 PM (B/VB5)

421 Still, I'[d chose a horse over Rosa Del Auro.

Posted by: zsasz at February 01, 2013 03:45 PM (MMC8r)

422 Gees whiz, you city boys never heard of "stump broke". Mules can't get preggers so......

Posted by: country boy at February 01, 2013 03:55 PM (nTgAI)

423 Horsefucking? Now you see why we must ban these evil assault rifles and high capacity magazines!

@462
Wow. She got dropped!


Posted by: EC at February 01, 2013 03:15 PM (GQ8sn)
That guy has more vids of daily life at the ghetto mall. It's all very sad.

Posted by: Flounder at February 01, 2013 03:55 PM (Kkt/i)

424



My master uses a superior procedure to create horsemanbabies, one that does
not require blowing one's nut into an actual horse.



*too disgusted to play my tiny piano that resides on top of Marlon Brando's
Much Larger Identical piano.


Posted by: Dr. Moreaus Favorite at February 01, 2013 04:04 PM (iMxCf)

425 But nothing, and I mean nothing, should in any way stop Mr. Mendoza from voting. Including being dead.

Posted by: Al Sharpton at February 01, 2013 04:07 PM (Xv7f/)

426 If Obama had a son . . . .

Posted by: Observer at February 01, 2013 04:11 PM (/sohm)

427 It's not rape-rape. The mare enjoyed it....

Posted by: Whoppie Goldberg at February 01, 2013 04:18 PM (z63Tr)

428 RT if you cry every time.

Posted by: Coleman at February 01, 2013 04:26 PM (AhJYy)

429 Welcome to one of our 11 million new citizens

Posted by: TexasJew at February 01, 2013 05:31 PM (lD8ju)

430 I'm hoping that's what's left of L.A. below that centaur...

Posted by: "Grumpy" at February 01, 2013 05:58 PM (Bp87T)

431 Damn, that centaur's fucked up.

Posted by: A-Roid at February 01, 2013 06:22 PM (jVAw4)

432 Such close-mindedness and hate for brown people. This young Mexican man opened up his heart, and his pants, for the beauty of Nature's creatures.

Posted by: Mary Cloggenstein from Brattleboro, Vermont at February 01, 2013 06:26 PM (h9WhI)

433 Looks like ace is scarfing up CAC's material here.

Posted by: sTevo at February 01, 2013 06:49 PM (VMcEw)

434
i don't have any data on horses, but donkey-fucking is considered a normal outlet for healthy males in many south-of-the-border countries.

Posted by: el polacko at February 01, 2013 08:05 PM (OcNv4)

435 2 mares, one bucket, by Andy Mendoza

Posted by: Mr Wolf, Esq at February 01, 2013 09:44 PM (UIAT6)

436 Now how did he KNOW that horse was ovulating?

Is there something in your past you are not telling us, Mr Mendoza?

Posted by: Dr Phil, Oprah's shrink at February 01, 2013 09:45 PM (UIAT6)

437 As a woman, you intuitively know when to walk quietly back out of a room...

Posted by: tired at February 01, 2013 09:48 PM (adOUE)

438 Before he died, he could vote.
He could fuckin' vote, dude.

Posted by: wankette at February 01, 2013 10:30 PM (kSBJy)

439 At least he told the truth!

Posted by: Baldy at February 01, 2013 10:51 PM (opS9C)

440 Horses are not my bag.

Posted by: Richard Gere at February 02, 2013 11:37 AM (xZCgA)






Processing 0.05, elapsed 0.6744 seconds.
15 queries taking 0.6301 seconds, 449 records returned.
Page size 167 kb.
Powered by Minx 0.7 alpha.

MuNuvians
MeeNuvians
Polls! Polls! Polls!
Frequently Asked Questions
The (Almost) Complete Paul Anka Integrity Kick
Top Top Tens
Greatest Hitjobs

The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon
A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates
Margaret Cho: Just Not Funny
More Margaret Cho Abuse
Margaret Cho: Still Not Funny
Iraqi Prisoner Claims He Was Raped... By Woman
Wonkette Announces "Morning Zoo" Format
John Kerry's "Plan" Causes Surrender of Moqtada al-Sadr's Militia
World Muslim Leaders Apologize for Nick Berg's Beheading
Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree
Milestone: Oliver Willis Posts 400th "Fake News Article" Referencing Britney Spears
Liberal Economists Rue a "New Decade of Greed"
Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility
Intelligence Officials Eye Blogs for Tips
They Done Found Us Out, Cletus: Intrepid Internet Detective Figures Out Our Master Plan
Shock: Josh Marshall Almost Mentions Sarin Discovery in Iraq
Leather-Clad Biker Freaks Terrorize Australian Town
When Clinton Was President, Torture Was Cool
What Wonkette Means When She Explains What Tina Brown Means
Wonkette's Stand-Up Act
Wankette HQ Gay-Rumors Du Jour
Here's What's Bugging Me: Goose and Slider
My Own Micah Wright Style Confession of Dishonesty
Outraged "Conservatives" React to the FMA
An On-Line Impression of Dennis Miller Having Sex with a Kodiak Bear
The Story the Rightwing Media Refuses to Report!
Our Lunch with David "Glengarry Glen Ross" Mamet
The House of Love: Paul Krugman
A Michael Moore Mystery (TM)
The Dowd-O-Matic!
Liberal Consistency and Other Myths
Kepler's Laws of Liberal Media Bias
John Kerry-- The Splunge! Candidate
"Divisive" Politics & "Attacks on Patriotism" (very long)
The Donkey ("The Raven" parody)
News/Chat