Hagel: Don't Sweat It, I Won't Actually Make Any Policy Decisions as Secretary of Defense; Also, If Confirmed, I Plan to Learn Some Things About the Defense Department

It's not the crime, it's the cover up.

It may well be that what makes Chuck Hagel famous -- in the wrong way -- is not his unsteady bumbling on questions of substance, which, frankly, most people don't know about.

It might be that it's his attempts to explain away his gaps in knowledge that doom him.

First quote, Hagel attempting to reassure people that he won't be trusted to make policy decisions anyway, so it's safe to install him in the job:

"I won't be in a policymaking position."

Next, Chuck Hagel explaining away his morning errors and ignorances:

"If confirmed I intend to know a lot more than I do."

Great. So if we give him a job he's unqualified for, he promises he'll study up and learn a few things about the job. At some point.

Or, at least he'll be poised to do so.

Posted by: Ace at 05:05 PM

Comments

1 Hey, it worked for the president. Twice.

Posted by: Jollyroger at January 31, 2013 05:07 PM (t06LC)

2 If nominated, I will not run and if elected, I will not serve ...

Posted by: Adriane ... at January 31, 2013 05:07 PM (TvO05)

3 via Moe Lane on Twitter
Well, now we know what it would've looked like if Cheers had ever done a "Cliff Clavin gets nominated for the Cabinet" episode.

Posted by: phreshone at January 31, 2013 05:07 PM (0SXI6)

4 Well, off to class. I'll spin this as Hagel and the GOP cleverly throwing Obama under the bus. I'll live under that sweet, sweet illusion until I check in again.

Posted by: t-bird at January 31, 2013 05:08 PM (FcR7P)

5 he promises he'll study up and learn a few things about the job.

He could tutor under whip-smart Barky, who would inform him that the military doesn't use bayonets any more.

Posted by: Waterhouse at January 31, 2013 05:08 PM (xGlYu)

6 Hagel's confirmation is looking shaky; he may only be confirmed 75 to 25.

Posted by: Dr Spank at January 31, 2013 05:08 PM (w+Dvf)

7
I think in management guru circles, this is called "failing upward".

Joe Biden, yeah, he's much like this too.

Posted by: Reader C.J. Burch writes.... at January 31, 2013 05:08 PM (RFeQD)

8 Didn't we already give a job to someone who was supremely unqualified?

Posted by: Harp at January 31, 2013 05:08 PM (h9ygK)

9 Attached is my resume for the position as a brain surgeon at your hospital. I know it only lists employment at McDonald's and Jiffy lube. But I'll know a lot more about brain surgery if you give me the job.

Posted by: Chuck Hagel at January 31, 2013 05:09 PM (81UWZ)

10 I look forward to finding out what instrumentalities the various branches use.

Posted by: Chuck Hagel, dumb enough to be a Dem at January 31, 2013 05:09 PM (xGlYu)

11 I realize he's a controversial figure, but can anyone here imagine Don Rumsfeld saying, "I won't be in a policymaking position" by way of reassuring people while under consideration for a cabinet position?

Posted by: JPS at January 31, 2013 05:09 PM (B047Q)

12 the key to the slippery slope is to take that first step.

Posted by: joeindc44 is now more concerned about Dark Ages 2.0 than Great Depression 2.0 at January 31, 2013 05:10 PM (QxSug)

13 **he promises he'll study up and learn a few things about the job.**

so, then...what does he bring to the table?

Posted by: joeindc44 is now more concerned about Dark Ages 2.0 than Great Depression 2.0 at January 31, 2013 05:11 PM (QxSug)

14 btw, Hagel said he never made prepared remarks for any of his speeches... so oppo researchers need to get crackin' on finding old tapes of him saying "out of context" stuff.

Posted by: Serious Cat at January 31, 2013 05:11 PM (UypUQ)

15 "Poised" seems to be the word of the week.

Posted by: real joe at January 31, 2013 05:11 PM (un/bd)

16 I'm poised to become a pretty good President.

Posted by: William Henry Harrison at January 31, 2013 05:12 PM (F6KtL)

17 so, then...what does he bring to the table?

He's the guy with an R after his name, to be blamed for all the shit that is heading for the fan.

Posted by: real joe at January 31, 2013 05:12 PM (un/bd)

18 Great. So if we give him a job he's unqualified for, he promises he'll study up and learn a few things about the job. At some point.
--------

Qualified to be Preezy!

Posted by: RWC at January 31, 2013 05:13 PM (fWAjv)

19 And I too, if lucky enough to get out of this mess, intend to know a lot more than I do...about those Injuns

Posted by: General Custer, surrounded at Little Big Horn at January 31, 2013 05:13 PM (F6KtL)

20 Integrative complexity wignuts!

Posted by: Sgt. Fury at January 31, 2013 05:14 PM (RM5S6)

21 Will Ted Cruz get a nickname for his curbstomping of Hagel? Cruz missile sounds good to me!

Posted by: Jmel at January 31, 2013 05:14 PM (9tSXa)

22 Anyone ask him why he didn't switch parties or at east go I

Posted by: Jean at January 31, 2013 05:14 PM (qjFNd)

23 Great. So if we give him a job he's unqualified for, he promises he'll
study up and learn a few things about the job. At some point.

Why not?

We have a trainee preezy.

Posted by: Kirk Lazarus at January 31, 2013 05:15 PM (P4cxa)

24 Great - so this guy is the one that everyone is going to be pointing to as the "stereotypical" Republican; a rich old white raaaaacist who is dumber than dirt.

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Obama's "Whipping Honky".....

Posted by: Teresa in Fort Worth, TX at January 31, 2013 05:15 PM (ADnWI)

25 OJT , duh.

Posted by: T. Hunter - let it burn at January 31, 2013 05:16 PM (EZl54)

26 I said in the thread below:

Rev. Jim from Taxi crossed with Mr. Kruger from Seinfeld.

Posted by: Circa (Insert Year Here) at January 31, 2013 05:16 PM (EDjKF)

27 huh?

Posted by: Christine O'Donnell at January 31, 2013 05:16 PM (AWmfW)

28
If we didn't need a military we wouldn't have idiots like him running it!

How stupid do you have to be to not SEE THIS!

We don't need a military, because, like, they military industrialize EVERYTHING!!!

We don't NEED IT!

HE'S A REPUBLICAN!!!

Posted by: Rev dr E buzz at January 31, 2013 05:16 PM (raGXo)

29 Ugh. The FAIL is so great its painful.

Just vote him down and get it over with.

Posted by: The Political Hat at January 31, 2013 05:16 PM (XvHmy)

30 Off sock.

And.

Isn't Hagel from Nebraska?

Just sayin'.

Posted by: Joe Mama at January 31, 2013 05:16 PM (P4cxa)

31
Glad to see he doesn't have to be qualified for the job first like me.

Posted by: Regular American at January 31, 2013 05:16 PM (F6KtL)

32 So why not confirm me?

Posted by: LASue at January 31, 2013 05:17 PM (pWeX5)

33

"If confirmed I intend to know a lot more than I do."

Ok, is this the sort of existential statement that underlies the Hagelian v. Kantian feud?

Posted by: Arbalest at January 31, 2013 05:17 PM (JAjij)

34 21 Will Ted Cruz get a nickname for his curbstomping of Hagel? Cruz missile sounds good to me!

Posted by: Jmel at January 31, 2013 05:14 PM (9tSXa)

'Cruzing for a bruising'?

Posted by: Serious Cat at January 31, 2013 05:17 PM (UypUQ)

35 I believe he is "poised" to be Sec Def. Or he is wearing "Poise" adult diapers. One or the other. Both.

Posted by: thunderb at January 31, 2013 05:18 PM (Dnbau)

36 I'm REALLY sorry that I left it in your mouth long enough to fill it with my sweet man juice after I PROMISED so many times that I wouldn't. I guess I get carried away sometimes.

Once you swallow, it's better than Deer Antler Spray. You'll thank me for it later.

Posted by: Baroke Owebama at January 31, 2013 05:18 PM (xmcEQ)

37 Couldn't we find some HS dropout and pay him minimum wage to do what Hagel says he will do?

Posted by: Marty at January 31, 2013 05:18 PM (FZdvr)

38
I have unearthed a secret cam of today's hearing, and Chuck's driving test.

http://tinyurl.com/5kgp2a

Posted by: Rev dr E buzz at January 31, 2013 05:18 PM (raGXo)

39 via Moe Lane on Twitter
Well, now we know what it would've looked like if Cheers had ever done a "Cliff Clavin gets nominated for the Cabinet" episode.

Posted by: phreshone at January 31, 2013 05:07 PM (0SXI6)

Ok. That shit's funny right there.

Posted by: Baroke Owebama at January 31, 2013 05:19 PM (xmcEQ)

40 Chuck Hagel, poised for greatness

Posted by: Jones in CO at January 31, 2013 05:19 PM (8sCoq)

41
Wow, what utter failure on a national stage.

Posted by: Dan Quayle at January 31, 2013 05:19 PM (F6KtL)

42 >>>"Or, at least he'll be poised to do so."

Nice execution there, boss.

Posted by: Eaton Cox at January 31, 2013 05:19 PM (q177U)

43 "When I said the Jews controlled Hollywood I meant that they kept costs down, which is good."

----Chuck Hagel

Posted by: Dr Spank at January 31, 2013 05:20 PM (w+Dvf)

44
What.

Does.

The.

Yellow.

Light.

Mean.

Posted by: Rev dr E buzz at January 31, 2013 05:20 PM (raGXo)

45 I really wish more Senators would ask about his management style and leadership strategies. AFAIK, that is where the devastating "I don't make policy; I'll be a follower" came out of... and that from a friendly question by Angus King(I).

Posted by: Serious Cat at January 31, 2013 05:20 PM (UypUQ)

46 Don't worry - my future boss has no use for the Defense Department either.

Posted by: Chuck Hagel at January 31, 2013 05:21 PM (o44nj)

47 what an idiot!

Posted by: Cast of HoneyBooBoo at January 31, 2013 05:21 PM (EZl54)

48

37 Marty at January 31, 2013 05:18 PM

Couldn't we find some HS dropout and pay him minimum wage to do what Hagel says he will do?

NBC did that ... the result is Toure ... good does not come from this sort of plan ...

Posted by: Arbalest at January 31, 2013 05:21 PM (JAjij)

49 Friggin sock.

Posted by: � Sponge at January 31, 2013 05:21 PM (xmcEQ)

50 Are we sure this isn't Yogi Berra?

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, who did not vote for this shit. at January 31, 2013 05:21 PM (+z4pE)

51

Now, how does this GPS work?

Posted by: from here to there at January 31, 2013 05:22 PM (LpQbZ)

52 34 21 Will Ted Cruz get a nickname for his curbstomping of Hagel? Cruz missile sounds good to me!

Posted by: Jmel at January 31, 2013 05:14 PM (9tSXa)

'Cruzing for a bruising'?
Posted by: Serious Cat at January 31, 2013 05:17 PM (UypUQ)
------
Cruzified?

Posted by: Lurkasaurus at January 31, 2013 05:22 PM (3KszY)

53 what an idiot!

Posted by: Cast of HoneyBooBoo at January 31, 2013 05:21 PM (EZl54)

GAH that show offends me. I mean, I've never watched it, but what I HAVE seen fucking offends me.

Posted by: � Sponge at January 31, 2013 05:22 PM (xmcEQ)

54

The training wheel administration.

Posted by: from the top down at January 31, 2013 05:23 PM (LpQbZ)

55 His admission that he is an idiot in more ways than one is one of the most stunning admissions since someone in the Nixon Admin said "Doesn't Mediocrity deserve a seat on the Court"?

Posted by: Nevergiveup at January 31, 2013 05:23 PM (9Bj8R)

56 That was a Cruzifixion.

Posted by: � Sponge at January 31, 2013 05:23 PM (xmcEQ)

57

Maybe he can blame the jew that sold him the medicine that he mistakenly and stupidly took this morning that caused him to be stupid.

Posted by: Rev dr E buzz at January 31, 2013 05:23 PM (raGXo)

58 "The chorus from Sandy Hook Elementary School will sing "America the Beautiful" before Sunday's Super Bowl between the San Francisco 49ers and the Baltimore Ravens."

For the love of god -- NO!

Posted by: Waldo Truth at January 31, 2013 05:24 PM (jwumz)

59 Open gays in the military, Women in combat, Kerry as Sec state, Hagel as Sec Defense. Reminds me of Sword of Truth #5. It will be even more depressing to live it than it was to read it; and even if we stop the Hagel nomination the rest is bad enough.

Posted by: PaleRide at January 31, 2013 05:24 PM (dkExz)

60 Don't know much about historyDon't know much biologyDon't know much about a science bookDon't know much about the french I took
But I do know that I love youAnd I know that if you love me tooWhat a wonderful world this would be
Don't know much about geographyDon't know much trigonometryDon't know much about algebraDon't know what a slide rule is for
But I do know that one and one is twoAnd if this one could be with youWhat a wonderful world this would be
Now I don't claim to be an "A" studentBut I'm trying to beSo maybe by being an "A" student babyI can win your love for me
Don't know much about historyDon't know much biologyDon't know much about a science bookDon't know much about the french I took
But I do know that I love youAnd I know that if you love me tooWhat a wonderful world this would be

Posted by: thunderb at January 31, 2013 05:24 PM (Dnbau)

61 "Hagel's Greatest Hits"- http://bit.ly/VZeNZg

Posted by: 80sBaby at January 31, 2013 05:24 PM (YjDyJ)

62 My prediction for confirmation?

The number of yes votes will exceed Hagel's IQ.

But then, so will the no votes.

Posted by: Joe Mama at January 31, 2013 05:25 PM (P4cxa)

63
Uh, I'll have that answer by Friday, just give me a couple days.

Posted by: Rev dr E buzz at January 31, 2013 05:25 PM (raGXo)

64 Maybe he can blame the jew that sold him the
medicine that he mistakenly and stupidly took this morning that caused
him to be stupid.

Posted by: Rev dr E buzz at January 31, 2013 05:23 PM (raGXo)

So, you're saying he's like "Flowers for Algernon" only the other way around.

Posted by: � Sponge at January 31, 2013 05:25 PM (xmcEQ)

65 21
Will Ted Cruz get a nickname for his curbstomping of Hagel?

Mr. President?

Posted by: Peregrine Took, Hobbit S.O.B. at January 31, 2013 05:25 PM (erlzv)

66 You have to give me the job before you can know how I can do the job.

Isn't this the Pelosi school of thought theory?

Posted by: polynikes at January 31, 2013 05:25 PM (m2CN7)

67 ha!

former sec of state hillary: what difference does it make what happened?

new sec def hagel: what difference does it make what i think?

Posted by: Guy Mohawk at January 31, 2013 05:25 PM (p/cQy)

68 I hired an electrician the other day that couldn't read and didn't know anything about electricity or wiring, but I was comforted by the fact that we share an enjoyment of electricity. So it should work out pretty good.

Posted by: Gristle Encased Head at January 31, 2013 05:25 PM (+lsX1)

69 dumbass

Posted by: Cast of Jackass at January 31, 2013 05:26 PM (EZl54)

70 "I don't know anything and I won't be making decisions." Now, who wouldn't want to hire the gem of a candidate who had that on their resum�? We'll be fine.

Top men. Top. Men.

Posted by: AnonymousDrivel at January 31, 2013 05:26 PM (eHIJJ)

71 #ChuckHagelRulesForSuccess

Appear dumb. Nobody likes a know-it-all.

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at January 31, 2013 05:26 PM (piMMO)

72 6Hagel's confirmation is looking shaky; he may only be confirmed 75 to 25.Posted by: Dr Spank at January 31, 2013 05:08 PM (w+Dvf)The pool grows. We have:Meremortal: 78-17 (some absent)polynikes: 61-38Dr. Spank: 75-25

Posted by: Meremortal, watching it burn at January 31, 2013 05:26 PM (1Y+hH)

73 "I wish I had a time machine to go back in time and change my answers from this morning. And kill the Jews who control the media."

---Chuck Hagel

Posted by: Dr Spank at January 31, 2013 05:26 PM (w+Dvf)

74 has Cruz gone again yet??

Posted by: thunderb at January 31, 2013 05:26 PM (Dnbau)

75 Damn, Teh SCOAMT expects me to nuke the filibuster for this? Surely you can..what, Biden? You say you've got pics? Okay, I'll nuke away.

Posted by: Dingy Harry at January 31, 2013 05:27 PM (o44nj)

76 "I can fix it."

"You can't fix this Spicoli!"

"My dad's a TV Repair man. He's got a bitchen set of tools. I can fix it."

Posted by: � Sponge at January 31, 2013 05:27 PM (xmcEQ)

77 well. Listening to this should make our enemies very very happy

Posted by: thunderb at January 31, 2013 05:28 PM (Dnbau)

78 Hagel.... following the lead of Precedent Obama...

ie... entering the job having NO CLUE as to what he needs to do.... and then, with a sub par intellect, trying to figure it out as he goes....

The Peter Principal, on STEROIDS.

Posted by: Romeo13 at January 31, 2013 05:28 PM (lZBBB)

79 "I won't be in a policymaking position."

He's right!

Posted by: Leon Panetta loves the lady soldiers at January 31, 2013 05:28 PM (nZvGM)

80 Well he is right about one thing, VJ and Bernadette make the policy decisions..

Posted by: Clemenza at January 31, 2013 05:28 PM (3GuQx)

81 I'll go 76-18 on Hagel's confirmation vote.

Posted by: steveegg at January 31, 2013 05:28 PM (o44nj)

82 "He's the guy with an R after his name, to be blamed for all the shit that is heading for the fan."

More like:

"He's the guy with an R after his name who's too stupid to understand that he's going to be blamed for all the shit that is heading for the fan, and too much of a dick for any of his fellow Rs to clue him in to that fact."

Posted by: Rodrigo Borgia, Pope Alexander VI at January 31, 2013 05:28 PM (IVyD8)

83 Posted by: Gristle Encased Head at January 31, 2013 05:25 PM (+lsX1)

Yeah.... but why is he running wires to your CHAIR?

Posted by: Romeo13 at January 31, 2013 05:29 PM (lZBBB)

84

The hazing.

Posted by: congressional good ole boys at January 31, 2013 05:29 PM (LpQbZ)

85 What an incompetent boob.

Posted by: Hillary Clinton at January 31, 2013 05:29 PM (f9c2L)

86 From twitchy:

Snort: Senators reportedly in �shock� over Hagel�s ineptitude,bumbling

http://tinyurl.com/b4r9vj6

Posted by: Tami at January 31, 2013 05:29 PM (X6akg)

87 Can somebody explain to me why the Chicoms and Norks have not attacked us yet?

Posted by: Cicero Kid at January 31, 2013 05:30 PM (tcw1u)

88 "We should commend Iran for choosing green, nuclear power over that damn dirty oil. Plus, the Jews"

--Chuck Hagel

Posted by: Dr Spank at January 31, 2013 05:30 PM (w+Dvf)

89 "Ten years ago, there was no such thing as a cyberwarfare threat".

Hagel is still playing Space Invaders on his Apple IIe.

Posted by: jwb7605 (Let It Burn) at January 31, 2013 05:30 PM (Qxe/p)

90 has Cruz gone again yet??

****

If they maintain the prior order, he and Graham are yet to come.

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at January 31, 2013 05:30 PM (piMMO)

91 Very frustrating and sad indeed. At this point I can't imagine even the Dems are truly comfortable with the guy, and would probably prefer someone else. It would be nice if they could work out a way to get him out of there without anyone losing face. But they'll all vote for him because toeing the party line and supporting the Lord and Savior Obama trumps all else. And because liberals never, ever admit a hint of a mistake.

It's bad enough when they support someone whose politics you detest, but when it's someone in line for an absolutely crucial position who is revealed to simply be not nearly a bright enough bulb? Sick.

Posted by: RM at January 31, 2013 05:31 PM (TRsME)

92 I'll go 76-18 on Hagel's confirmation vote.Posted by: steveegg at January 31, 2013 05:28 PM (o44nj)Smart placement, are you a pro?Meremortal: 78-17polynikes: 61-38Dr. Spank: 75-25steveegg: 76-18No real gamblers called for denial yet.

Posted by: Meremortal, watching it burn at January 31, 2013 05:31 PM (1Y+hH)

93

Charlie Crist, John Boehner, Chuck Hagel

The band of tan.

Posted by: Salone 'Art at January 31, 2013 05:31 PM (LpQbZ)

94
based on this soul selling administration, I bet he gets 666 votes for confirmation.

Posted by: Guy Mohawk at January 31, 2013 05:31 PM (p/cQy)

95 87: Barry hasn't crashed our currency yet and until he does we are good for the chicom economy.

Posted by: PaleRide at January 31, 2013 05:32 PM (dkExz)

96 52 34 21 Will Ted Cruz get a nickname for his curbstomping of Hagel? Cruz missile sounds good to me!

Posted by: Jmel at January 31, 2013 05:14 PM (9tSXa)

'Cruzing for a bruising'?

Posted by: Serious Cat at January 31, 2013 05:17 PM (UypUQ)

------ Cruzified?

Posted by: Lurkasaurus at January 31, 2013 05:22 PM (3KszY)

Hey.... thats NOT funny.... DAAAADDDDDDD!

Posted by: Jesus at January 31, 2013 05:32 PM (lZBBB)

97

Mitt Romney, secret Jew, obviously shot him from orbit him with a weaponized ray that affected his intelligence.

And the guy who pulled the trigger, noted JEW Don Rumsfeld...

True fact, Rumsfeld's real name is Rumsberg.
.

Posted by: Rev dr E buzz at January 31, 2013 05:32 PM (raGXo)

98 Hagel should have gone with the whiny kid strategy;

Well , Geithner didn't pay his taxes and you confirmed him . Kerry negotiated with the enemy and was in a meeting to vote to kill a Senator and you voted for him. I didn't anything like that.

Posted by: polynikes at January 31, 2013 05:32 PM (m2CN7)

99 Smart man... When the president offer you a job, you don't turn it down. Just pee on the heads of enough Senators so that they won't confirm you.

Posted by: phreshone at January 31, 2013 05:32 PM (0SXI6)

100 >>>and too much of a dick for any of his fellow Rs to clue him in to that fact."

No I'm sure they've told him he's fucking up. He's just got the Akinesque "Hagel # 1" vanity that doesn't allow him to do the smart right thing if that means giving up the idea he is the bestest coolest Senator for the job.

Posted by: MikeTheMoose Offering Moobats Gasoline and Matches at January 31, 2013 05:32 PM (0q2P7)

101 What's this red button do?

Posted by: Chuck Hagel at January 31, 2013 05:33 PM (tcw1u)

102 Every single democrat who I have heard speak, and I have had to turn it off many times, are apologizing for all he past remarks and even his current phopahs? What a bunch of cock suckers

Posted by: Nevergiveup at January 31, 2013 05:33 PM (9Bj8R)

103 "Why is that Mexican from Texas so mean to me?.......Now I know how Jesus felt."

---Chuck Hagel

Posted by: Dr Spank at January 31, 2013 05:33 PM (w+Dvf)

104 If he had just said that he wasn't going to be running anything right from the get go I wouldn't have had any problem with this.

Posted by: ontherocks at January 31, 2013 05:34 PM (aZ6ew)

105 87 Can somebody explain to me why the Chicoms and Norks have not attacked us yet?

Posted by: Cicero Kid at January 31, 2013 05:30 PM (tcw1u)

Don't interupt your enemy while he is making a mistake....

Posted by: Napoleon at January 31, 2013 05:34 PM (lZBBB)

106

"You guys would be better off if you didn't listen to the Jews, er, Jewish lobby, so much."

Posted by: Rev dr E buzz at January 31, 2013 05:34 PM (raGXo)

107

So, he got nominated because he's the closest in ability to Obama?

Posted by: Meremortal, watching it burn at January 31, 2013 05:34 PM (1Y+hH)

108 Like now i can't listen anymore

Posted by: Nevergiveup at January 31, 2013 05:34 PM (9Bj8R)

109 dude is stupid

Posted by: President Dwayne Elizondo Mountain Dew Herbert Camacho at January 31, 2013 05:34 PM (EZl54)

110 Brit Hume:

It's probably dawning on Sens. who didn't serve w/Hagel that he's just not very bright. Exchange w/McCain unresponsive & bumbling.

https://twitter.com/brithume

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at January 31, 2013 05:34 PM (piMMO)

111 dude is stupid

****

Really stooopid

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at January 31, 2013 05:34 PM (piMMO)

112 Oh dear God....

@LarrySabato

Heads up. NJ Senate could get even more interesting. Geraldo Rivera may run as R in 2014.

Posted by: Tami at January 31, 2013 05:34 PM (X6akg)

113 I feel like I should be shorting something right now...

Posted by: tasker at January 31, 2013 05:35 PM (r2PLg)

114

At least he's a RINO, so we have that going for us.

Posted by: Meremortal, watching it burn at January 31, 2013 05:35 PM (1Y+hH)

115 Hey..... Barrak....

Here... Catch....

/throws the football....

Posted by: Chucky Hagel.... at January 31, 2013 05:35 PM (lZBBB)

116

But wait, that jew guy told me he's lying, and that he's not telling the truth, about his problem with the "jewish lobby"

So is he just playing like a stupid person, as well as lying, just because the damn Jews are making him?

Christ, please help this man, and let Rev. Wright, a guy who loves Jews, help this man in his period of procilivilous problems.

Posted by: Rev dr E buzz at January 31, 2013 05:35 PM (raGXo)

117 ~~inmate~~ guest # 35912747

Posted by: FEMA temporay *mumble* facility adminstator at January 31, 2013 05:35 PM (SSWdi)

118 New Hagel thread....

Posted by: Tami at January 31, 2013 05:35 PM (X6akg)

119 I never understood why the Republicans couldn't hold the majority in the Senate. Until now.

Posted by: jwb7605 (Let It Burn) at January 31, 2013 05:36 PM (Qxe/p)

120 Cruz.

Posted by: tasker at January 31, 2013 05:36 PM (r2PLg)

121 so when everything falls apart they can say. look how badly the republican screwed us up.

Posted by: ette at January 31, 2013 05:37 PM (nqBYe)

122 Cicero Kid: "Can somebody explain to me why the Chicoms and Norks have not attacked us yet?"

They're either too busy laughing or too tired... from all the laughing.

Posted by: AnonymousDrivel at January 31, 2013 05:37 PM (eHIJJ)

123 i still want to know if HE will not be making any decisions who will?

Posted by: ette at January 31, 2013 05:37 PM (nqBYe)

124 >>>phopahs

I see that you are leaning fwench the Ace of Spades way!

Posted by: Waldo Truth at January 31, 2013 05:37 PM (jwumz)

125 I don't know that much about Hagel. I used to live in Nebraska (long before he was of any consequence).

I do remember reading a few of his speeches and seeing him live a few times back when people were talking about him as the next GOP "big deal."

I remember thinking, "y'know, this guy seems kinda...dumb."

Posted by: General Zod at January 31, 2013 05:38 PM (2+bRt)

126

Dude, can't possibly be stupid, he was a Senator, for God's sakes!

The Jews are just making him look dumb with their evil camera tricks!!!

Posted by: Rev dr E buzz at January 31, 2013 05:38 PM (raGXo)

127 "Cruzade", for double bonus Islamofascist-Enraging points.

Posted by: Rodrigo Borgia, Pope Alexander VI at January 31, 2013 05:38 PM (IVyD8)

128 Jeebus, this clown needs to fake a stroke or heart attack and withdraw his nomination ASAP. That being said, he won't and he'll get confirmed by at least 70 of his former peers...What a clusterfark.

Posted by: Timon at January 31, 2013 05:38 PM (hHlaS)

129 Cruz is killing him again. Apparently hagel ONLY is in favor of international sanctions and not any that President Bush wanted because they were unilateral. Now since obama is on office unilateral sanctions are okidoki???????

G-D save us

Posted by: Nevergiveup at January 31, 2013 05:42 PM (9Bj8R)

130 We've already got a learn-on-the-job President, why not a Sec. Def. too?

What could go wrong?

Posted by: Socratease at January 31, 2013 05:44 PM (3V4IJ)

131 >> Can somebody explain to me why the Chicoms and Norks have not attacked us yet? <<

Because their man is at 1600 Pennsylvania Ave NW, Washington, DC.

Posted by: steveegg at January 31, 2013 05:45 PM (o44nj)

132 While my new dentist is not technically "licensed" or "trained" and doesn't "speak english," we both support the concept of good dental health.

Posted by: Gristle Encased Head at January 31, 2013 05:46 PM (+lsX1)

133
Great. So if we give him a job he's unqualified for, he promises he'll study up
and learn a few things about the job. At some point.

More than we've gotten from the present incumbent of the White House.

Posted by: Jay Guevara at January 31, 2013 05:47 PM (IDSI7)

134
Thanks for your assiduous and hilarious (darkly) stuff on Hagel, ace.

Not that many years back I might have been in that hearing room (staff, not senator).

But, consistent with everything else, if I had been in that room, I would have had to pinch myself by the minute to make sure I was awake and not hallucinating.

A nominee so unfit for ANY serious position that he would EVER say "I won't be in a policymaking position" when he's up for SecDef - no, that's right, no prior administration would have ever offered up such an idiot.

But I have to admit to a 50-megaton "meh" at Hagel. Twenty years ago- when such an absurdity was unthinkable (though in the Clinton years several very light lightweights rose to serious levels, people I know well and who had no business in such jobs), I would have been shocked and concerned like others here. But now? When a "president" is such a ridiculous non-entity, a disaster who's un-presidential in every way including his smallest idiosyncracies, is given not just one but two terms? When a SecState who has presided over a disaster with a body count and a subsequent surreal festival of dissimulation and implausibleposturing that would have ended the career (to include Beltway consulting) of any previous incumbent in that post actually, really says in a long-delayed congressional hearing on the matter "what difference does it make"?

Meh. Geithner as SecTreas? Are you fucking kidding me?

Following meters are broken: surprise, sympathy, outrage, optimism, taking-the-country-seriously.

History is history, regular people doingwhat they do are just as good as ever, but the country, as a country, in national matters, is now completely andirretrievably unserious. My only regret is not focusing on making $$$$ and hiding it in my life instead of trying to serve the country that is now gone (in every meaningful sense).

Posted by: non-purist at January 31, 2013 05:47 PM (afQnV)

135 "Great. So if we give him a job he's unqualified for, he promises he'll study up and learn a few things about the job. At some point." (Ace)

Well, Obama promised the same thing, and look how well that turned out.

Posted by: higgi at January 31, 2013 05:50 PM (zLQ9q)

136
Think about it, and let it soak in: a guy who'd be fifth in line for the Presidency lamely attempts to respond to questions on his fitness with"I won't be in a policymaking position."

Translation: it's OK to confirm me, because no one will let me do anything of substance anyway, having taken my measure.

Posted by: Jay Guevara at January 31, 2013 05:51 PM (IDSI7)

137
I remember thinking, "y'know, this guy seems kinda...dumb."

Posted by: General Zod at January 31, 2013 05:38 PM (2+bRt)

He's a genius compared to Barbara Boxer. Hagel has 200 milliBoxer of stupidity.

She stands undefeated, untied, and unscored upon in the Stupid Bowl, Higher Primate division.

Posted by: Jay Guevara at January 31, 2013 05:56 PM (IDSI7)

138 Ha!

Johnny Cash just got his own stamp.

Very cool!

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at January 31, 2013 05:59 PM (piMMO)

139 Bret Baier opens with hearings and says:

"Believe me now and not what I said before"

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at January 31, 2013 06:01 PM (piMMO)

140 "So if we give him a job he's unqualified for, he promises he'll study up and learn a few things about the job. At some point."

Sounds like Obama2008

Posted by: Eric at January 31, 2013 06:08 PM (ClJ2V)

141 "Following meters are broken: surprise, sympathy, outrage, optimism, taking-the-country-seriously."

This.

I've really been getting the feeling more and more that we are all actually living in a dystopian satirical movie from the 1970s.

I mean, really, having a candidate for SECRETARY OF DEFENSE saying, in all seriousness, at his confirmation hearings, "I won't be in a policymaking position?"

Chauncey Gardiner much?

Posted by: torquewrench at January 31, 2013 06:13 PM (gqT4g)

142 Don't worry senators, I won't be making any decisions concerning defense policy. President Obama has plenty of great ideas.

Posted by: Chuck Hagel at January 31, 2013 07:02 PM (9eDbm)

143 I left a message with Senator Lousyberg about Hagel's performance. There may be a chance he can be peeled off because of the anti-Israel stuff. One of his staffers just has to guide his hand to the "no" button.

Posted by: SamIam at January 31, 2013 07:04 PM (S09w5)

144 In Hagel's defense, we need to remember Obama learned nothing from Benghazi, and nominated him before the Algeria terror attack.

O probably figured the next SecDef wouldn't have much to do, what with Al Qaeda being decimated and the Middle East being so serene and peaceful and all.

In fact, the next Sec Def is likely gonna be up to his eyeballs in dealing with a resurgent Al Qaeda, more terror attacks, and failed states due to Obama's numerously mounting foreign policy blunders.

Posted by: drawandstrike at January 31, 2013 07:18 PM (uVLJc)

145 It's been a good while since Americans have demanded job knowledge or competence in their elected officials, outside of skill in delivering the sugar.

Posted by: Mark in Portland at February 01, 2013 12:52 AM (09YAd)

146 I wasn't in a policymaking position.

Posted by: Zombie Robert McNamara at February 01, 2013 06:24 AM (9AkcZ)

147 " When Obama files up I'm suppose to step in and take the blame."

Posted by: Hillary at February 01, 2013 07:05 AM (8kEad)

148 Obama's dumber version of Harriet Meers.

Posted by: Silent Majority at February 01, 2013 09:43 AM (KydDZ)

149 i can't think ofthe lasttime when i listened toa politician and thought, "hey, this guy is really bright!" ...they are guys who are as dumb as posts who happen to have varying degrees of foghorn leghorn-type bluster that bamboozles the voters. it's a miracle that things are not much, much worse than they are with these morons leading the way.

Posted by: el polacko at February 01, 2013 01:21 PM (OcNv4)

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