Thursday Morning News Dump

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Posted by: BenK at 09:10 AM



Comments

1 Obama: I'm Not A King

I was thinkin Queen.

Posted by: Oldsailors Poet, Author of Amy Lynn available on Amazon. http://tinyurl.com/ahc8poj at January 31, 2013 09:11 AM (l86i3)

2 Lol, mass e-mail from payroll explaining change to just mailed W-2s. Don't worry about the new box telling the IRS the dollar value of employer contribution to your health insurance. This is not taxable income so don't panic, the e-mail explains, just a new requirement for this year. Yeah, not taxable income this year, but just wait until next year, as I'm explaining to my co-workers. Eat shit and die, libs.

Posted by: mugiwara at January 31, 2013 09:13 AM (W7ffl)

3 1
Obama: I'm Not A King

I was thinkin Queen.

Posted by: Oldsailors Poet,

That shoots skeet , the sport of Queens...

Posted by: American Dawg at January 31, 2013 09:13 AM (trA4n)

4 I'm poised to be productive today.

Posted by: Mama AJ, Assault Poiser at January 31, 2013 09:14 AM (SUKHu)

5 Barack Obama is a stuttering clusterf*ck of a malignant traitor.

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) Channelling Breitbart at January 31, 2013 09:15 AM (/eBe8)

6 I'm poised to be productive today.
Posted by: Mama AJ, Assault Poiser at January 31, 2013 09:14 AM (SUKHu)

LOL

Posted by: Oldsailors Poet, Author of Amy Lynn available on Amazon. http://tinyurl.com/ahc8poj at January 31, 2013 09:15 AM (l86i3)

7 Obama: I'm Not A King

I heard a "dammit" at the end of that.

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) Channelling Breitbart at January 31, 2013 09:15 AM (/eBe8)

8 "Let them eat Skeets."

Posted by: Michelle O. at January 31, 2013 09:16 AM (+I8Mq)

9 This is by far the funniest news item on drudge yesterday, bar none:
"ZUCKER UNTUCKED: @RuPaul scored 565,000 viewers on LOGO vs @piersmorgan 545,000 on CNN in Monday 9 PM showdown..."
http://tinyurl.com/b2tebua

Posted by: What? What? at January 31, 2013 09:16 AM (/b8+5)

10 In other news, Vanderbilt Coach James Franklin has apologized to Alabama Coach Nick Saban for calling him "Nicky Satan" at a high school banquet in Georgia.

Quite right. Nick is certainly not Satan; he simply sold his soul to him.

Posted by: Facts Uh Life at January 31, 2013 09:16 AM (8NlUk)

11 WASHINGTON (Reuters) - The number of Americans filing
new claims for unemployment benefits bounced off five-year lows last
week, pulling them back to levels consistent with modest job growth.

Initial claims for state unemployment benefits
increased 38,000 to a seasonally adjusted 368,000, the Labor Department
said on Thursday. The prior week's claims figure was unrevised.






Because before we had booming jobs growth, now it's just modest

Posted by: TheQuietMan at January 31, 2013 09:16 AM (1Jaio)

12 Compound bow or crossbow. Either or, seems that killin' is a net plus for society.

Posted by: RWC at January 31, 2013 09:18 AM (fWAjv)

13 11 Merely a prelude to an uptick in unemployment once the numbers are restated next month.

Posted by: Facts Uh Life at January 31, 2013 09:18 AM (8NlUk)

14 Ever see the Mel Brooks comedy ,'History of the world' ?
The King does what ever he wants when he wants , and his tag line is " It's Good To Be The King "

Posted by: American Dawg at January 31, 2013 09:18 AM (trA4n)

15 Because before we had booming jobs growth, now it's just modest


Posted by: TheQuietMan at January 31, 2013 09:16 AM

Like the modest spending

Posted by: Dept. Of Accuracy Dept. at January 31, 2013 09:18 AM (+I8Mq)

16 Man Killed With Bow And Arrow

Ban Archery!

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) Channelling Breitbart at January 31, 2013 09:18 AM (/eBe8)

17 >>>Obama: I'm Not A King

LAPD emailed to express their dismay

Posted by: Bigby's Jazz Hands at January 31, 2013 09:18 AM (3ZtZW)

18 >>LOL

Wow, you sound like my husband!

Posted by: Mama AJ, Assault Poiser at January 31, 2013 09:19 AM (SUKHu)

19
Arab-American groups have criticized a Coke Super Bowl ad depicting a race including an Arab walking through the desert with a camel, even demanding the beverage company change the ad before it airs to an expected 100 million viewers on Sunday. Coke asks viewers to vote online for who should win the race. The website does not allow a vote for the Arab character.

“Why is it that Arabs are always shown as either oil-rich sheiks, terrorists, or belly dancers?” Warren David, president of the American-Arab Anti-Discrimination Committee, said in a comment to Reuters.

“What message is Coke sending with this?” asked Abed Ayoub, ADC’s director of legal and policy affairs. “By not including the Arab in the race, it is clear that the Arab is held to a different standard when compared to the other characters in the commercial,” he said.




Coke suggested the irate Arabs have a nice cold glass of STFU and a smile.

Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at January 31, 2013 09:20 AM (kdS6q)

20 Obama: I'm Not A King



I was thinkin Queen.


Empress maybe...

Posted by: Paladin at January 31, 2013 09:21 AM (+Wvn3)

21 "I..am not..a-king".

That's how it sounds in the Nixon voice.

Posted by: Opus An Arcus at January 31, 2013 09:21 AM (NbYAq)

22 Ok, because I really can't figure this out and honestly want to know, I'm reposting this from the last thread in hopes that one of you smart people can help me out here:



"The number of Americans filing new claims for unemployment benefits bounced off five-year lows last week, pulling them back to levels consistent with modest job growth.



Initial claims for state unemployment benefits
increased 38,000 to a seasonally adjusted 368,000, the Labor Department said on Thursday. The prior week's claims figure was unrevised."




"Spin baby, spin!!! It didn't increase, comrades, it bounced off of lows!!! And higher unemployment = modest job growth"




Spin? That's not spin. There's no word to describe that. WHAT. THE. FUCK???


Seriously, I can't even make sense of that when I put my liberal cap on. Could someone explain that HEAPING PILE OF UNBELIEVABLE BULLSHIT TO ME??

Posted by: Burn the Witch at January 31, 2013 09:21 AM (4c71i)

23 *eyetwitch* Obama not a king *eyetwitch*


I'm just gonna sit here and ponder something happy like, idefk, waking up to find out that a brown recluse has laid eggs in my ear or somesuch.


Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD. Team Stompy. at January 31, 2013 09:21 AM (VtjlW)

24 Ban Archery!

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) Channelling Breitbart at January 31, 2013 09:18 AM (/eBe


We don't want to ban your bow. Just a common sense restriction on quiver size.

Posted by: RWC at January 31, 2013 09:23 AM (fWAjv)

25 19 I guess the Coke ad should have shown the Arab driving an all-terrain Chevy Camaro over the sand dunes?

Posted by: Facts Uh Life at January 31, 2013 09:23 AM (8NlUk)

26 Denninger may be a lib, but he does do a good job of cutting through the gov bs & explaining the unemployment numbers.

" As such and that this was right into the sample week I can't make a prediction for tomorrow -- unfortunately -- as this could easily swing the number 200k in either direction!"

http://tinyurl.com/afqcuew

Posted by: rickb223 at January 31, 2013 09:24 AM (GFM2b)

27 Seriously, I can't even make sense of that when I put my liberal cap on. Could someone explain that HEAPING PILE OF UNBELIEVABLE BULLSHIT TO ME??
Posted by: Burn the Witch at January 31, 2013 09:21 AM (4c71i)



Now, now, now, it's unexpected that you would not be able to understand the deep mindthoughts that lead to that statement.

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD. Team Stompy. at January 31, 2013 09:24 AM (VtjlW)

28 Depict the Arabs in a very colorful, Birdcage-type persona. C'mon! Include them!

Allahu faaaabulous!

Posted by: Opus An Arcus at January 31, 2013 09:25 AM (NbYAq)

29 Coke could show the Arabs
screwing Goats or blowing up inside a car...

But that would be to accurate...

Posted by: American Dawg at January 31, 2013 09:25 AM (trA4n)

30
Obama: I'm We Are Not A King

FIFHM.

Posted by: zsasz at January 31, 2013 09:26 AM (MMC8r)

31
Good news everyone!:

It’s (Almost) Alive! Scientists Create a Near-Living Crystal

The particles aren’t truly alive — but they’re not far off, either. Exposed to light and fed by chemicals, they form crystals that move, break apart and form again.

“There is a blurry frontier between active and alive,” said biophysicist Jérémie Palacci of New York University. “That is exactly the kind of question that such works raise.”

Palacci and fellow NYU physicist Paul Chaikin led a group of researchers in developing the particles, which are described Jan. 31 in Science as forming “living crystals” in the right chemical conditions.

As for what’s happening now in Palacci and Chaikin’s lab, a particle currently under development isn’t mobile, but it has a metabolism and is self-replicating.


Video of living crystal

http://tinyurl.com/ahvzp8u



Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at January 31, 2013 09:26 AM (kdS6q)

32 Why is it that Arabs are always shown as either oil-rich sheiks, terrorists, or belly dancers?

Yeah. False advertising.
Should show them going all 'splodey-like to be more accurate.

Posted by: rickb223 at January 31, 2013 09:27 AM (GFM2b)

33 29 +1

Posted by: Buddha at January 31, 2013 09:27 AM (8NlUk)

34 " It's Good To Be The King "

"I am their Sovereign...they are my people....PULL!"
**peasant skeet flying by as King shoots**

Humm, maybe that's where Bary got the idea he would love shooting skeet.

Posted by: Paladin at January 31, 2013 09:27 AM (+Wvn3)

35 >>“There is a blurry frontier between active and alive,”

I'd settle for either.

Posted by: The Economy at January 31, 2013 09:28 AM (SUKHu)

36 I'd like to date that Crystal!

Posted by: Buddha at January 31, 2013 09:28 AM (8NlUk)

37 Of course Barry isn't a king. Everyone knows that a bastard child can't inherit the throne

Posted by: TheQuietMan at January 31, 2013 09:28 AM (1Jaio)

38 Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at January 31, 2013 09:26 AM (kdS6q)

Okay, that's actually pretty cool.

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) Channelling Breitbart at January 31, 2013 09:28 AM (/eBe8)

39 I just got Rick Rolled by Laurie David's Cervix

Posted by: American Dawg at January 31, 2013 09:29 AM (trA4n)

40 Dawg, that's Cervix with a Smile

Posted by: Buddha at January 31, 2013 09:30 AM (8NlUk)

41
It’s (Almost) Alive! Scientists Create a Near-Living Crystal

This is a WIldfire Alert...!

Posted by: zsasz at January 31, 2013 09:30 AM (MMC8r)

42 My wife and I met Ron Jeremy once. He was in town for an event at a nightclub, and we met him. I got some pics of the two of them together, and my wife got her boob autographed and her ass pinched. Pics later, if I remember.

Posted by: EC at January 31, 2013 09:30 AM (GQ8sn)

43 >>“There is a blurry frontier between active and alive,”

Thousands of Chicago voters agree!

Posted by: Bigby's Jazz Hands at January 31, 2013 09:30 AM (3ZtZW)

44 Off to Fall River to city hall. Going to see if we can't pull the polling places out of the housing projects into more neutral territory.

Posted by: Truman North, FUPA TROOPA at January 31, 2013 09:31 AM (YkKrZ)

45 Quite right. Nick is certainly not Satan; he simply sold his soul to him.

Your lack of faith is going to get you force choked.

Posted by: toby928© for TB at January 31, 2013 09:32 AM (QupBk)

46 32 Why is it that Arabs are always shown as either oil-rich sheiks, terrorists, or belly dancers?

Posted by: rickb223 at January 31, 2013 09:27 AM (GFM2b)

7-11 workers hardest hit.

Posted by: RWC at January 31, 2013 09:32 AM (fWAjv)

47
Ron Jeremy Hospitalized And In Critical Condition

Nurse, begin artificial respiration!


....NOT LIKE THAT!

Posted by: zsasz at January 31, 2013 09:33 AM (MMC8r)

48 >>>This is a WIldfire Alert...!

You mean it was a Michael Martin Murphey vid?

Posted by: Bigby's Jazz Hands at January 31, 2013 09:33 AM (3ZtZW)

49 and my wife got her boob autographed and her ass pinched. Pics later, if I remember.
Posted by: EC at January 31, 2013 09:30 AM (GQ8sn)


Heard tell he uses the areola for the "o" in Ron.

*KIDDING!!

Posted by: Opus An Arcus at January 31, 2013 09:33 AM (NbYAq)

50 Going to see if we can't pull the polling places out of the housing projects into more neutral territory.

But, see, that would "disenfranchise" (I do not think it means what they think it means) all those voters in the projects, because they couldn't possibly carpool or take public transit to the poling places. That would be just like Jim Crow and a poll-tax!


How close am I to their "argument?"

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) Channelling Breitbart at January 31, 2013 09:33 AM (/eBe8)

51 Jobless claims point to slow healing in labor market








Man falls into coma points to slow healing

Posted by: TheQuietMan at January 31, 2013 09:34 AM (1Jaio)

52 Why is it that Arabs are always shown as either oil-rich sheiks, terrorists, or belly dancers?
___

There's no shame in being known for belly dancing. It's a legitimate art form. Plus it's a good skill to bust out at a party if it starts to get boring.

Posted by: kallisto at January 31, 2013 09:34 AM (jm/9g)

53 Off to Fall River to city hall. Going to see if we can't pull the
polling places out of the housing projects into more neutral territory.

----

Will this include mileage reimbursement for the NBPP?

Posted by: Lady in Black at January 31, 2013 09:34 AM (ATdet)

54 39
I just got Rick Rolled by Laurie David's Cervix


Posted by: American Dawg at January 31, 2013 09:29 AM (trA4n)


Now there's a sentence I bet you never thought you'd type.

Posted by: Tami at January 31, 2013 09:35 AM (X6akg)

55 Ted Cruz from yesterday -

http://tinyurl.com/bc983vy

Posted by: RWC at January 31, 2013 09:35 AM (fWAjv)

56 ZUCKER UNTUCKED: @RuPaul scored 565,000 viewers on LOGO vs @piersmorgan 545,000 on CNN in Monday 9 PM showdown..."

Hey, Drag Race is quality programming.

LOOK AT ME ENGAGING THE CULTURE!!!


Just don't follow any of the contestants on Twitter, because they all believe Rethuglikkkans are going to take away their mascara.

Posted by: HeatherRadish™ needs a beer at January 31, 2013 09:35 AM (ZKzrr)

57 But, see, that would "disenfranchise" (I do not think it means what they think it means) all those voters in the projects, because they couldn't possibly carpool or take public transit to the poling places. That would be just like Jim Crow and a poll-tax!


How close am I to their "argument?"
Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) Channelling Breitbart at January 31, 2013 09:33 AM (/eBe



That is exactly the argument. Apparently it's simply beyond the pale to expect people to have to get themselves to the polling place even though I have to do that for myself. But but but that's different because reasons that are actually quite nasty if you think them through.

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD. Team Stompy. at January 31, 2013 09:36 AM (VtjlW)

58 Was it a rapid fire assault bow? Those things are dangerous if they fall into the wrong hands.

Was it properly stored? Did it have a quiver lock?

Posted by: Skandia Recluse at January 31, 2013 09:37 AM (zQNcu)

59 I see you have a good grasp on what were up against

It won't happen this meeting. But if we keep pounding on them, we may get them moved by Election Day 2014.

Posted by: Truman North, FUPA TROOPA at January 31, 2013 09:37 AM (YkKrZ)

60 Was it properly stored? Did it have a quiver lock?

It had a 30-arrow assault quiver.

Posted by: zsasz at January 31, 2013 09:38 AM (MMC8r)

61 Heard tell he uses the areola for the "o" in Ron.



*KIDDING!!

Posted by: Opus An Arcus at January 31, 2013 09:33 AM (NbYAq)

Nah, he just Sharpie'd "RJ" on her left boob.

Posted by: EC at January 31, 2013 09:38 AM (GQ8sn)

62 Can't get into W. R. Mead's blog. He seems to misunderstand some base conservative arguments and this latest installment is:


1. The middle class is creative and will save us


2. ???


3. Profit



Maybe I'm just misunderstanding him, but he usually comes across as a sloganeer to me.

Posted by: Burn the Witch at January 31, 2013 09:39 AM (4c71i)

63 "I just lost my job!" - You count

"I still don't have a job!" - You don't count


It's not unemployment it's "exiting the workforce ".

- Newspeak Dictionary




Posted by: T. Hunter - let it burn at January 31, 2013 09:39 AM (EZl54)

64 Of course Obama is not a king, sheesh, he is the God Emperor of the Universe. I mean, please, beyotch, king, really?

Posted by: Sherry McEvil, Wily Wrepublican Wench at January 31, 2013 09:39 AM (kXoT0)

65 Ru Paul again!

Posted by: Zombie Milton Berle at January 31, 2013 09:39 AM (mlgob)

66 It won't happen this meeting. But if we keep pounding on them, we may get them moved by Election Day 2014.

Do your best to make them explain exactly why they think that it would "disenfranchise" those voters. Don't let up until you drag the racism out of them.

"But why is it harder for him to take the bus than for voter X to have to drive all the way across town?" And so forth.

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) Channelling Breitbart at January 31, 2013 09:39 AM (/eBe8)

67 “Why is it that Arabs are always shown as either oil-rich sheiks, terrorists, or belly dancers?”

Fun fact: No Arab ever won the Dakar Rally until they started running it in South America. Why did they stop running it in Africa? Islamic terrorism.

Posted by: HeatherRadish™ needs a beer at January 31, 2013 09:39 AM (ZKzrr)

68 For whatever reason here aren't too many black people in brist county. Fall River is only 3% black. It's mostly Portuguese and German. I bet you don't even know what a Portuguese is!

They are the kind of socons that the elitist in the GOP think Hispanics are.

Posted by: Truman North, FUPA TROOPA at January 31, 2013 09:40 AM (YkKrZ)

69 4 I'm poised to be productive today.
Posted by: Mama AJ, Assault Poiser at January 31, 2013 09:14 AM (SUKHu)

Coffee. Everywhere.

Perfect.

Posted by: HoboJerky, now with 74% more DOOM! at January 31, 2013 09:40 AM (FsUAO)

70 Over at Drudge:

" O nyango O boingo O singo O bama, the uncle of US president Barack Obama, will learn if
he is to be deported from the US to Kenya at a hearing scheduled for
Dec 3."

Posted by: American Dawg at January 31, 2013 09:40 AM (trA4n)

71 Some morning Didem - http://youtu.be/RaV6FUcG31g

Poised to get more writing done today.

And that Washington Examiner article on E15 needs a rewrite for typos.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at January 31, 2013 09:41 AM (S7Hzw)

72 I bet you don't even know what a Portuguese is!


Of Portuguese ancestry. Portugal was once part of Spain (on the Iberian peninsula) but revolted and won their independence in... the 17th Century, I think?

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) Channelling Breitbart at January 31, 2013 09:41 AM (/eBe8)

73 "Apparently it's simply beyond the pale to expect people to have to get themselves to the polling place even though I have to do that for myself."



Yeah, they apparently have no problem getting down to the various offices of the city, county, state, and feds to fill out the reams of paperwork necessary to receive benefits, but getting to the polling place is just asking too gosh darn much.

Posted by: Burn the Witch at January 31, 2013 09:42 AM (4c71i)

74 I bet you don't even know what a Portuguese is!

We're a beautiful and intelligent breed.

And we taste terrible, so tell those assholes I live with not to get any ideas.

Posted by: Bo SCOAMF at January 31, 2013 09:42 AM (ZKzrr)

75 Are the Portuguese hispanics? Because they're brown like those people...

/liblogic

Posted by: zsasz at January 31, 2013 09:43 AM (MMC8r)

76 Woke up this morning to find that Gomer is Gay and that the troubles our Nation is Having are do to Foxxy News Corp and a Reflublickass Congress.

Posted by: Clemenza at January 31, 2013 09:43 AM (x59Gv)

77 I won't be doing much talking. We have a slick mouthpiece to do the arguing.

Well, a kind of rumpled old mouthpiece, but he's been in the game for 50 years down here.

Posted by: Truman North, FUPA TROOPA at January 31, 2013 09:44 AM (YkKrZ)

78 Okay gtg

Posted by: Truman North, FUPA TROOPA at January 31, 2013 09:44 AM (I2LwF)

79 I am not a mere King.

I am the King of Kings, your Lord and Savior Barrack Hussein Obama.

I am not God's representative on Earth. I AM God, and The Earth, and Mankind incarnate.

Nice planet I gave you there...shame if anything happened to it.

Posted by: BarrackHusseinObama at January 31, 2013 09:44 AM (7ObY1)

80 So is Obama Sofa King?

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at January 31, 2013 09:44 AM (S7Hzw)

81 Obama's not a King, he's a Caliph, you culturally insensitive racists!

Posted by: votermom at January 31, 2013 09:44 AM (wOIt+)

82 Nah, he just Sharpie'd "RJ" on her left boob.
Posted by: EC at January 31, 2013 09:38 AM (GQ8sn)


That's cool. If you're initialing jugs in the presence of the husband, I'd say you've made it.

Posted by: Opus An Arcus at January 31, 2013 09:45 AM (NbYAq)

83 I do like the Portuguese breakfast...

Posted by: Clemenza at January 31, 2013 09:45 AM (x59Gv)

84
Obama: I'm Not A King Crook


FTFY



Posted by: Richard Milhouse Nixon at January 31, 2013 09:45 AM (EZl54)

85 "Everyone knows that a bastard child can't inherit the throne"

I beg to differ.

Posted by: William the Conqueror at January 31, 2013 09:45 AM (IVyD8)

86 Obama: I'm not a King



I mean seriously, how many Kings do you know that were able to lower the sea level with their minds.

Posted by: Brock O. Fuckstick at January 31, 2013 09:45 AM (4c71i)

87
Nate Silver, the statistician who was crowned with a halo of national reverence after he successfully predicted the 2012 presidential election, thinks the Niners will win the Super Bowl based on their superior defense.

It’s a somewhat tepid endorsement, but Silver should rest easy. After all, he’s also backed up by the wise foresight of Siabu, an orangutan at the Fresno Chaffee Zoo, who picked the 49ers for the win last week — although in a decidedly less scientific fashion. (She pulled a 49ers blanket out of a box.)




BRB - purchasing the unskewedblanketfromamonkysbox domain.....

Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at January 31, 2013 09:46 AM (kdS6q)

88 Yeah, they apparently have no problem getting down
to the various offices of the city, county, state, and feds to fill out
the reams of paperwork necessary to receive benefits, but getting to the
polling place is just asking too gosh darn much. Posted by: Burn the Witch at January 31, 2013 09:42 AM (4c71i)

Yep, ShaKayKay, LeVonderelle, Markwese, and Juanita have no problem whipping out IDs to get the freebies, but, they can't produce it to vote or whatever? As previously stated, bitch, please! Yeah, that was racist, so damn what?

Posted by: Sherry McEvil, Wily Wrepublican Wench at January 31, 2013 09:46 AM (kXoT0)

89 Yeah, they apparently have no problem getting down to the various offices of the city, county, state, and feds to fill out the reams of paperwork necessary to receive benefits, but getting to the polling place is just asking too gosh darn much.
Posted by: Burn the Witch at January 31, 2013 09:42 AM (4c71i)



Yup. As Allen noted, make them admit to the racism and classism. I mean, all those middle class people somehow manage to haul themselves to the polling place but those of lesser means can't?


Look, I agree that getting to the polling place can be a pain in the ass, hence all the GOTV efforts to arrange drivers to get people to the polling place. But if it's disenfranchising to move a polling place out of a housing project, it is equally disenfranchising to make me drive 10 minutes to get to mine. Not to mention that mine's off a very busy state highway and it can be an adventure and a half to make that left turn since there's no left turn signal there. Help! Help! I'm being oppressed!

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD. Team Stompy. at January 31, 2013 09:47 AM (VtjlW)

90 @ 88 Sherry has a date night with Clemenza..

Posted by: Clemenza at January 31, 2013 09:47 AM (x59Gv)

91 Orangutans have no souls.

Posted by: HeatherRadish™ needs a beer at January 31, 2013 09:47 AM (ZKzrr)

92 Obama: I'm not a King

It's beneath Him.

Posted by: zsasz at January 31, 2013 09:47 AM (MMC8r)

93 >>>It won't happen this meeting. But if we keep pounding on them, we may get them moved by Election Day 2014.

Explain to them you need it moved so the Hispanics made newly legal in the Amnesty putsch won't feel disenfranchised and unwelcome. Bring a pinata and a bag of burritos.

Posted by: Bigby's Up Twinkles at January 31, 2013 09:47 AM (3ZtZW)

94 Nice planet I gave you there...shame if anything happened to it.

Posted by: BarrackHusseinObama at January 31, 2013 09:44 AM (7ObY1)

Yeah and we give him the nuclear codes every damn morning, do we not? When he bothers to show up for a briefing, on those days they go directly into ValJar's Birkin bag without him ever touching them.

Posted by: Sherry McEvil, Wily Wrepublican Wench at January 31, 2013 09:47 AM (kXoT0)

95 @89 they have a guide book to mooching for reference it is a lot easier than you make it sound

Posted by: Clemenza at January 31, 2013 09:48 AM (x59Gv)

96 What if we include an EBT card as voter ID?

Posted by: zsasz at January 31, 2013 09:48 AM (MMC8r)

97 >>> I bet you don't even know what a Portuguese is!

Thats where Beetlejuice was from

Posted by: Bigby's Up Twinkles at January 31, 2013 09:48 AM (3ZtZW)

98 That's cool. If you're initialing jugs in the presence of the husband, I'd say you've made it.

It was for some costume contest the club was having. She was dressed up like a schoolgirl and she made almost made it to the end. Ron liked her so he only autographed her boob out of all the girls there. He's a very polite person and likes to make jokes about himself.

Posted by: EC at January 31, 2013 09:48 AM (GQ8sn)

99
Orangutans have no souls

Posted by: HeatherRadish™ needs a beer




Ook? Ook!

Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at January 31, 2013 09:49 AM (kdS6q)

100 @ 96 that works in Mexifornia for just about anything..

Posted by: Clemenza at January 31, 2013 09:49 AM (x59Gv)

101 Laurie David's Cervix: "Coke suggested the irate Arabs have a nice cold glass of STFU and a smile."

Would that be New STFU or Original STFU? I prefer suggesting Original STFU myself.

Posted by: AnonymousDrivel at January 31, 2013 09:50 AM (eHIJJ)

102 Would anybody else like to sock Gabby Giffords' husband Luthor in the face, or is it just me?

Posted by: zsasz at January 31, 2013 09:51 AM (MMC8r)

103 Give the complainers the New Coke formula. Pepsi hardest hit.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at January 31, 2013 09:51 AM (S7Hzw)

104 Look upon my works, ye might, and despair.

Posted by: baramandias, king of kings at January 31, 2013 09:51 AM (evdj2)

105 Ozymandias was King of Kings, just saying... wonder what happened to him?

Posted by: Bill sometimes Bill from Canada at January 31, 2013 09:52 AM (zh4lu)

106 But if it's disenfranchising to move a polling place
out of a housing project, it is equally disenfranchising to make me
drive 10 minutes to get to mine. Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD. Team Stompy. at January 31, 2013 09:47 AM (VtjlW)

I must admit, that if the polling place was in a housing project, I would not be voting there. I would do in person absentee voting.

Release the raptors, my Queen, why--because it is Thursday and I am just in the mood for some raptors. As a matter of damn fact, I think, I will make me a bumper sticker that says, "Will not be grounded when the Raptors come!" and stick it on the car.

Posted by: Sherry McEvil, Wily Wrepublican Wench at January 31, 2013 09:52 AM (kXoT0)

107 @ The U.K. Daily Mail ....Dan Marino Dolphins X- Q.B.

The former Miami Dolphins star cheated on Claire, his wife of 28 years , with Donna Savattere, a production assistant
at CBS Sports .
Their daughter Chloe was born in June 2005, and is now being raised by
Ms Savattere and her husband. Mr Marino admitted to the affair, saying
in a statement: 'This is a personal and private matter. I take full
responsibility both personally and financially for my actions now as I
did then.'

Posted by: American Dawg at January 31, 2013 09:53 AM (trA4n)

108 Help a moron out here; if Ron Jeremy has an aneurism near his heart they should just go in and repair it, no? It can't be more involved than doing a bypass or am I missing something?

Posted by: Captain Hate at January 31, 2013 09:53 AM (B/mBM)

109 zsasz, we could probably make millions just auctioning a chance. Then spend about $100k of the winnings to train the winner in MMA before sending him to meet Kelly.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at January 31, 2013 09:53 AM (S7Hzw)

110
"It had a 30-arrow assault quiver."

No hunter needs 30 arrows to kill a deer!!!!

Posted by: Jaws at January 31, 2013 09:53 AM (4I3Uo)

111 The story about the mom who shot the intruder is pretty alarming. She had dogs and more than one firearm in her home defense plan and yet the two invaders whom she didn't shoot still could have put a major hurt on her.

IMO her story is the best case to be made for citizens owning automatic weapons. Because the freaking intruders come in PACKS now.

FFS when will the libtard/donkcommies get a clue? It's so true that misery loves company, they just want all of us to inhabit their particular pit of hell on earth with them.

Posted by: kallisto at January 31, 2013 09:54 AM (jm/9g)

112 "He's a very polite person and likes to make jokes about himself."


He has no need to be a dick. IYKWIMAITTYD

Posted by: Brock O. Fuckstick at January 31, 2013 09:54 AM (4c71i)

113 Would anybody else like to sock Gabby Giffords' husband Luthor in the face, or is it just me?

Posted by: zsasz at January 31, 2013 09:51 AM (MMC8r)


No, he's been a pile of shit since Day 1.

Posted by: Captain Hate at January 31, 2013 09:54 AM (B/mBM)

114 /drops sock

Posted by: Burn the Witch at January 31, 2013 09:54 AM (4c71i)

115 Oh Alexthechick I had to send an emu in a box to MUMR yesterday. He was getting obstreperous and annoying.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at January 31, 2013 09:55 AM (S7Hzw)

116 Good morning, all you couch afficionados.

I sense, strongly, that we may, just may, still be screwed.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, who did not vote for this shit. at January 31, 2013 09:56 AM (+z4pE)

117 DHS watching Action Movies.


Is your workplace getting shot up by a crazed gunman?

No problem — just grab a pair of scissors and fight back!

That’s some of the helpful advice in a new instructional video from
the Department of Homeland Security that was posted on the agency’s Web
site just a month after the massacre at Sandy Hook Elementary School in
Connecticut.

“If you are caught out in the open and cannot conceal yourself or
take cover, you might consider trying to overpower the shooter with
whatever means are available,” says the narrator in the video, which
shows an office worker pulling scissors out of a desk drawer.

Posted by: ette at January 31, 2013 09:57 AM (nqBYe)

118
And a story guaranteed to put a smile on your face this morning. Dipshit reporter who moved from the dreary suburbs to enjoy exciting multi-ethnic urban LA gets the crap beat out of him:

Dan Evans, the editor of the Times Community News papers, moved downtown from the Burbank area about six months ago to try living in the Downtown LA Arts District. Sounds like he mostly liked it until last Sunday night, when he was mugged about midnight near Sci-Arc. Now he caries a socket wrench:

"When the sun goes down, I get tense. I can feel the veins in my jaw pulsating whenever I reach a dark corner, especially the one where Traction Avenue turns into Merrick Street. It was near that corner that two Latino guys with shaved heads, dressed in white T-shirts and beige pants, hit me on the back of my head, took my phone, wallet and keys, and left me bleeding on the sidewalk. They hit me with the butt of a gun....."

"Donna and I moved downtown about six months ago, tired of suburbia, tired of neighbors who were closed and insular, and tired of feeling like we didn’t quite fit in. I don’t mean to say all of Burbank is like that, as many in the Media City live in close-knit communities. But it wasn’t like that on our street, and wasn’t likely ever to be that way.

I know my neighbors now. I like them. I spend time with them, and feel the commonality that only comes from living in a dystopian paradise...."

Glendale News-Press/LAObserved

Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at January 31, 2013 09:57 AM (kdS6q)

119 Help a moron out here; if Ron Jeremy has an aneurism
near his heart they should just go in and repair it, no? It can't be
more involved than doing a bypass or am I missing something? Posted by: Captain Hate at January 31, 2013 09:53 AM (B/mBM)

Don't know, my FIL died of an aneurysm in his stomach. He bled out in a hospital elevator between the surgical floor and ICU. They kinda, sorta, just barely brought his body back and then we had to spend days convincing my MIL that no brain waves meant he was gone before she would consent to removing life support.

Posted by: Sherry McEvil, Wily Wrepublican Wench at January 31, 2013 09:57 AM (kXoT0)

120 Where's the morning DOOM post? I'm getting anxious.

Posted by: Pavlov's Dog at January 31, 2013 09:58 AM (eHIJJ)

121 link above
. so do SS carry scissors to protect the President?
inquiring minds want to know.

Posted by: ette at January 31, 2013 09:58 AM (nqBYe)

122 Help a moron out here; if Ron Jeremy has an aneurism near his heart they
should just go in and repair it, no? It can't be more involved than
doing a bypass or am I missing something?


If it was an aortic aneurism, then it could have been fatal had he not driven to the hospital immediately. My Brazilian intern's husband died from the same thing. He was feeling chest pains and did not go to the hospital in time to have it checked out. By the time he got there, it was already too late and he died within minutes of getting checked in.

Posted by: EC at January 31, 2013 09:58 AM (GQ8sn)

123 He's a very polite person and likes to make jokes about himself.

To keep yourself together and be able to deal with the public is pretty strong after being in that biz. For the opposite effect, I recommend Wonderland with Val Kilmer.

Posted by: Opus An Arcus at January 31, 2013 10:00 AM (/p9vv)

124 Would anybody else like to sock Gabby Giffords' husband Luthor in the face, or is it just me?
Posted by: zsasz at January 31, 2013 09:51 AM (MMC8r)

Oh yeah and she looked so thin and worn. But, just like Jim Brady in his wheelchair, she will be trotted out for every gun issue until she leaves this mortal coil. I bet we taxpayers paid for her trip and a "speaker's fee" to boot.

Posted by: Sherry McEvil, Wily Wrepublican Wench at January 31, 2013 10:00 AM (kXoT0)

125 I know my neighbors now. I like them. I spend time with them, and feel
the commonality that only comes from living in a dystopian paradise...."



Mugged by reality.

Posted by: EC at January 31, 2013 10:00 AM (GQ8sn)

126 Wasn't an aortic aneurism what got John Ritter?

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, who did not vote for this shit. at January 31, 2013 10:00 AM (+z4pE)

127 68 Everyone knows what a Portuguese is. It's a left-handed Spaniard.

Posted by: Buddha at January 31, 2013 10:01 AM (8NlUk)

128 DHS and scissors, eh?

What if I have assault scissors with a pistol grip (aka shears)? Would I then be a felon?

Posted by: AnonymousDrivel at January 31, 2013 10:01 AM (eHIJJ)

129 re: Ben Howe's loving Twitter

I don't think it's an effective objection to "Twitter is like high school" to say "But I'm like high school."

If in a freely assembled opt-in "community" of voluntary pseudo-interaction like Twitter, patterns established in a no-opt-out "community" of forced, i.e. pathological, interaction like high school are being replicated...shit's fucked up.

Or the participants are.

Why does his defense of the thing--it's supposed to be a defense of a thing--have to be made in the you-asked-for-it-by-not-being-us rhetoric of schoolgirl bullying?

And it does have to be. Or it wouldn't be.

And that's the point. Either Twitter--the thing--imposes, without our noting the imposition, a form of "community" that's fucked up, or it's too design-weak to prevent its users from enforcing their favored form of "community," which is fucked up.

"But I'm fucked up. ...No, wait. You are."

Posted by: oblig. at January 31, 2013 10:01 AM (cePv8)

130 What if I have assault scissors with a pistol grip (aka shears)? Would I then be a felon?

Fiskars hardest hit.

Posted by: EC at January 31, 2013 10:01 AM (GQ8sn)

131 Captain Hate in 9th grade lost a classmate to a brain aneurism. One second he was in line joking with his friends to get food. Next second he just dropped and was gone.

An aneurism is a weakness that tends to be a balloon. And then one day it decides to pop. Or when the doctors go in, it pops while they are still getting to it. Nasty buggers, like a self destruct mechanism.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at January 31, 2013 10:01 AM (S7Hzw)

132 We had a Prime Minister Mulroney in Canada around Reagan's time, who if asked about something involving him and a little extravagance would reply " Is this a great country or what ?"

Posted by: Bill sometimes Bill from Canada at January 31, 2013 10:01 AM (zh4lu)

133 I did the bow and arrow link yesterday, including the corny jokes about assault quivers holding over 7 arrows, not a crossbow etc.

So I was first!, dammit. Okay enough whining about that, but the Weekly Standard has put together a nifty graphic showing just how much TFG's regulatory lollapalooza is costing us compared to Clinton and Bush:

http://tinyurl.com/aasbytz

Hint: It's bad. And they use the actual WH numbers.

Posted by: GnuBreed at January 31, 2013 10:01 AM (ccXZP)

134 I know what happens when an aneurism cuts loose (I'm a moron but not *that* big of one) but that's not what happened here. Father Hate had an aneurism discovered when he went in to have a circulation problem in his leg fixed with an artificial artery and while they were in there they fixed it. I realize that being "close to the heart" is probably more serious, which is why I related it to bypass surgery.

Posted by: Captain Hate at January 31, 2013 10:03 AM (B/mBM)

135 What if I have assault scissors with a pistol grip (aka shears)? Would I then be a felon?


Posted by: AnonymousDrivel at January 31, 2013 10:01 AM (eHIJJ)
I'm certain the will become an assault weapon needing to be banned as soon as guns aredealt with,
next would be bats, then sporks, perhaps men .

Posted by: ette at January 31, 2013 10:03 AM (nqBYe)

136 *releases the ravage*


Oh Alexthechick I had to send an emu in a box to MUMR yesterday. He was getting obstreperous and annoying.
Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at January 31, 2013 09:55 AM (S7Hzw)



Really? I wouldn't know that because add ins are a helluva thing.

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD. Team Stompy. at January 31, 2013 10:04 AM (VtjlW)

137 Piers Morgan and Chelsea Handler OR
Lib vs. Lib - the video is Hilarious....

http://tinyurl.com/b6qhjsw

Posted by: American Dawg at January 31, 2013 10:04 AM (trA4n)

138 EC, that newsie seriously got mugged by reality. Hey Sunshine downtown LA is not the 'burbs. And a socket wrench? Really? You just asking to get mugged again if you repeat the midnight jaunt.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at January 31, 2013 10:05 AM (S7Hzw)

139 pistols grips on scissors alone doesn't make them assault scissors, but don't go adding a bayonet lug

Posted by: Buddha at January 31, 2013 10:05 AM (8NlUk)

140 company, they just want all of us to inhabit their particular pit of hell on earth with them.
Posted by: kallisto at January 31, 2013 09:54 AM (jm/9g)

Government doesn't do liberty anymore. Order is the new game, and they don't care if a few sheep get taken by wolves.

Posted by: Invictus at January 31, 2013 10:05 AM (OQpzc)

141 My workplace has one of those no firearms stickers on the door, but, how are they going to keep women from bringing in a gun using a flashbang bra holster? Frisk all of us and create a hostile work environment? For all you nasty boys, do a search on "flashbang bra holster" and then retire to your bunks.

Posted by: Sherry McEvil, Wily Wrepublican Wench at January 31, 2013 10:06 AM (kXoT0)

142 Just wanted to let you know in case you do an emu audit and come up one short.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at January 31, 2013 10:06 AM (S7Hzw)

143 the Weekly Standard has put together a nifty graphic showing just how much TFG's regulatory lollapalooza is costing us compared to Clinton and Bush:

That's the 'Change': Messianic manipulation of economic and human behavior toward a defined utopian outcome, reality be damned.

Posted by: zsasz at January 31, 2013 10:06 AM (MMC8r)

144 Re the woman who scared off the three duct-tape weilding intruders - liberals will focus on the fact that one of the intruders wrestled with her and stole her gun.

Posted by: biancaneve at January 31, 2013 10:06 AM (6bYlh)

145 Just wanted to let you know in case you do an emu audit and come up one short.
Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at January 31, 2013 10:06 AM (S7Hzw)



Ahhh, thanks for the update, I just figured that Chompy got a wee bit peckish.

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD. Team Stompy. at January 31, 2013 10:07 AM (VtjlW)

146 ette: "...next would be bats, then sporks, perhaps men."

I think Ron Jeremy came with a pistol grip. That's a bannin'.

Posted by: AnonymousDrivel at January 31, 2013 10:07 AM (eHIJJ)

147 alex tea.

brown recluse in ears?

thanks now i feel tense waiting for slight movement on my neck.

looks around my chair.

Posted by: ette at January 31, 2013 10:08 AM (nqBYe)

148 ette, wondering if that tickle on the neck is a strand of hair or eight legs... *yikes*

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at January 31, 2013 10:09 AM (S7Hzw)

149 Re: unemployment:

With hours being cut back to <28 due to Obama, how much more appealing does 99 weeks of unemployment look?

Posted by: zsasz at January 31, 2013 10:10 AM (MMC8r)

150 EC, that newsie seriously got mugged by reality. Hey Sunshine downtown
LA is not the 'burbs. And a socket wrench? Really? You just asking to
get mugged again if you repeat the midnight jaunt.


Yep. A friend of mine used to live near DC when he worked for the govt. He saw the same thing happen to this reporter. Some Maryland libs try to move closer to DC, near bad neighbourhoods (who am I kidding, the whole fuckin' place is a bad neighbourhood!) thinking they won't get harmed, and end up getting raped/robbed inside of a month.

Posted by: EC at January 31, 2013 10:10 AM (GQ8sn)

151 ette, wondering if that tickle on the neck is a strand of hair or eight legs... *yikes*
Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at January 31, 2013 10:09 AM (S7Hzw)

When the tiny little spiders come streaming out of the egg sac that is under your desk, they can be all over you before you notice.

Posted by: Invictus at January 31, 2013 10:11 AM (OQpzc)

152 Twitter is overcapacity. What's got it so busy? Hagel hearing?

Posted by: joncelli at January 31, 2013 10:11 AM (RD7QR)

153 For all you nasty boys, do a search on "flashbang bra holster" and then retire to your bunks.

"Flashbang" is what morons do.

Posted by: EC at January 31, 2013 10:11 AM (GQ8sn)

154 Ron Jeremy.

never had the experience.

so life isn't as bad as it could have been.

Posted by: ette at January 31, 2013 10:12 AM (nqBYe)

155 I autographed a boobeh once at a gig.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, who did not vote for this shit. at January 31, 2013 10:12 AM (+z4pE)

156 Anna exactly!

Posted by: ette at January 31, 2013 10:12 AM (nqBYe)

157 Lucille Ball died of an aneurysm. If they are in a place where surgery can be done and they are detected in time, they can be repaired. Last week a co-worker's wife died while vomiting violently from the flu. They suspect a brain aneurysm, he refused an autopsy and they did not do one because she had been seen by a medical professional for the flu, so even though her death was unexpected, it was not suspicious.

Posted by: Sherry McEvil, Wily Wrepublican Wench at January 31, 2013 10:13 AM (kXoT0)

158 When the tiny little spiders come streaming out of the egg sac that is
under your desk, they can be all over you before you notice.



You know what the perfect breeding ground for spider egg sacs are?

The inside folds of purses.

Posted by: EC at January 31, 2013 10:13 AM (GQ8sn)

159 The Examiner has an article about Sebilius and her Hatch Act violation last year -- It seems her assistant was involved too, and the DNC tried to hide their paying reimbursements for them both.

The assistant may have to be fired for violating the Hatch Act; well, it would happen if these lawless fucks were ever held accountable for anything.

http://tinyurl.com/ayev6pk

You can file this under 'shit that will never be reported on by the MFM'.

Posted by: GnuBreed at January 31, 2013 10:13 AM (ccXZP)

160 Backwards a boob or a titty?

Posted by: ette at January 31, 2013 10:14 AM (nqBYe)

161 Some people this morning are just asking for a ravage of raptors. Once we pry Alexthechick off the ceiling.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at January 31, 2013 10:14 AM (S7Hzw)

162 When I lived in Sacramento a reporter went to a downtown park to get some file footage for a story. The ethnic locals thought he was a perv and beat him into serious brain damage.

Posted by: Invictus at January 31, 2013 10:14 AM (OQpzc)

163 You know what the perfect breeding ground for spider egg sacs are?

The inside folds of purses.



Posted by: EC at January 31, 2013 10:13 AM (GQ8sn)

omgoodness, that was so very cruel.

Posted by: ette at January 31, 2013 10:14 AM (nqBYe)

164 Anna, we will hand over the lists when we reach alextopia.

as they say be prepared.

Posted by: ette at January 31, 2013 10:15 AM (nqBYe)

165 You know what the perfect breeding ground for spider egg sacs are?

The inside folds of purses. Posted by: EC at January 31, 2013 10:13 AM (GQ8sn)

Thou are fined one billion Internetz and banned from basking in the presence of the glorious 'Ettes.

Posted by: Sherry McEvil, Wily Wrepublican Wench at January 31, 2013 10:16 AM (kXoT0)

166 omgoodness, that was so very cruel.



Some people this morning are just asking for a ravage of raptors. Once we pry Alexthechick off the ceiling.



Thou are fined one billion Internetz and banned from basking in the presence of the glorious 'Ettes.



I'm not joking. It's true.

Posted by: EC at January 31, 2013 10:17 AM (GQ8sn)

167 Some people this morning are just asking for a ravage of raptors. Once we pry Alexthechick off the ceiling.
Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at January 31, 2013 10:14 AM (S7Hzw)

Happened to me once. By the time one of the little things hit skin and I looked down it looked like I was wearing pants made of crawling baby spiders.

Posted by: Invictus at January 31, 2013 10:17 AM (OQpzc)

168 2d Amendment lawyer Alan Gura is a national treasure.
Don't recall where I read it, but the individual right to bear arms is the "core" right of the 2d. There are penumbras and emanations from that which are yet to be determined. If the courts are honest (they are not, in blue states, federal or state court).

Posted by: real joe at January 31, 2013 10:17 AM (un/bd)

169 When I lived in Sacramento a reporter went to a downtown park to get
some file footage for a story. The ethnic locals thought he was a perv
and beat him into serious brain damage.



I saw this episode on "It's Always Sunny In Phildelphia".

Posted by: EC at January 31, 2013 10:18 AM (GQ8sn)

170 I'm not joking. It's true.


Posted by: EC at January 31, 2013 10:17 AM (GQ8sn)
True will not save you. Pay the fine, accept the banishment.

Posted by: Sherry McEvil, Wily Wrepublican Wench at January 31, 2013 10:18 AM (kXoT0)

171 as they say be prepared.
Posted by: ette at January 31, 2013 10:15 AM (nqBYe)

I've already been banished to the frontier with the legions.

Posted by: Invictus at January 31, 2013 10:19 AM (OQpzc)

172 Backwards a boob or a titty?

A titty. Some sweet young thing decided to take a liking to me one night.

As we started the second set, right in the middle of the song, she walks up on stage, removes her bra, and drapes it around my neck while I'm playing bass. It took all of my powers of concentration to not miss a note. After that set, she asked me if I would sign her left boob.

After such a display of her affection, how could I say no? That would've been rude.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, who did not vote for this shit. at January 31, 2013 10:19 AM (+z4pE)

173 True will not save you. Pay the fine, accept the banishment.


Oh come on! The 'ettes love me!

Right?



RIGHT?!?!

Posted by: EC at January 31, 2013 10:19 AM (GQ8sn)

174
I'm not joking. It's true.


Posted by: EC at January 31, 2013 10:17 AM (GQ8sn)

instead of food taster, EC will become the purse checker.

Posted by: ette at January 31, 2013 10:19 AM (nqBYe)

175
You know what the perfect breeding ground for spider egg sacs are?

The inside folds of purses.

Posted by: EC




I've heard they're also quite common inside the toes of shoes left out at night.....

Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at January 31, 2013 10:19 AM (kdS6q)

176 EC: "You know what the perfect breeding ground for spider egg sacs are?

The inside folds of purses."


So true. And they prefer high-heeled shoes as anchors for their webs.

Posted by: AnonymousDrivel at January 31, 2013 10:19 AM (eHIJJ)

177 Well, it's 44 degrees and I have to take Mr. Foot Almost As Wide As It Is Long to Stride Rite...which is at the outdoor mall.

The outdoor mall on the river, where the breeze is...refreshing.

Posted by: Mama AJ, Assault Poiser at January 31, 2013 10:20 AM (SUKHu)

178 After that set, she asked me if I would sign her left boob.


Lemme guess...you're right handed like Ron Jeremy too?

Posted by: EC at January 31, 2013 10:21 AM (GQ8sn)

179 Happened to me once. By the time one of the little
things hit skin and I looked down it looked like I was wearing pants
made of crawling baby spiders Posted by: Invictus at January 31, 2013 10:17 AM (OQpzc)

It was not spiders for me. I put on a nightgown with a centipede in it. I felt some scratching/tickling. After it starting stinging or biting, I set the land speed record for nightgown removal. I think I actually levitated out of the nightgown.

Posted by: Sherry McEvil, Wily Wrepublican Wench at January 31, 2013 10:21 AM (kXoT0)

180 hell nevermind, in alextopia he men can carry the purses .

most of the contents of my purse are children, grandchildren, spouse paraphernalia anyway.
I can however use cleavage for i'd

Posted by: ette at January 31, 2013 10:21 AM (nqBYe)

181 I can however use cleavage for i'd Posted by: ette at January 31, 2013 10:21 AM (nqBYe)

And a bra holster...I may just have to get one for the girls.

Posted by: Sherry McEvil, Wily Wrepublican Wench at January 31, 2013 10:23 AM (kXoT0)

182 Lemme guess...you're right handed like Ron Jeremy too?

How'd you know?

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, who did not vote for this shit. at January 31, 2013 10:23 AM (+z4pE)

183 MamaAJ, brrr, however perhaps the time to pick up new bedding (stay warm and all) as you're already out!

do not let a crisis go to waste.

Posted by: ette at January 31, 2013 10:24 AM (nqBYe)

184 There’s not much on Chuck Hagel’s résumé that screams secretary of defense.

He’s not a former White House chief of staff, like Dick Cheney or Donald Rumsfeld. He never ran the CIA, like Leon Panetta or Robert Gates. He never worked inside the Pentagon.

There’s one main job on his résumé — politician — and for Hagel, that’s the problem. …

Defense experts say Hagel, if confirmed, will face major challenges in wrangling a sprawling institution and working with partners to implement President Barack Obama’s policies. That would be the case for anyone taking the top civilian defense post, but Hagel would walk in without the bureaucratic expertise of his predecessors.

Posted by: That boy is thnner than piss on a rock at January 31, 2013 10:24 AM (e8kgV)

185 And a bra holster...I may just have to get one for the girls.
Posted by: Sherry McEvil, Wily Wrepublican Wench at January 31, 2013 10:23 AM (kXoT0)

I've always prefered thigh holsters when it comes to sexy firearm related fashion accessories.

Posted by: Invictus at January 31, 2013 10:24 AM (OQpzc)

186 men.


leaves room in a snit.

leaves heels and purse behind.

Posted by: ette at January 31, 2013 10:25 AM (nqBYe)

187 instead of food taster, EC will become the purse checker.



Ok ette, you're good. Next!

Sherry, you're good too. Next!

Anna, you're ok. Next!

AtC...wait, what's this?

Posted by: EC at January 31, 2013 10:25 AM (GQ8sn)

188 Ma'amselle's flamethrower has been fueled and readied for her use. The backup and spare tanks are also at the ready.

...no, don't mind the inordinate number of foggers in my office. One must prepare with what one has.

Posted by: Brother Cavil, Keeper of Ampersands and Breitbart Login Spaces at January 31, 2013 10:25 AM (GBXon)

189 Have a fun and productive shopping adventure Mama AJ.

Invictus, thou art the last Centurion?

Bra holster, concealed carry.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at January 31, 2013 10:26 AM (S7Hzw)

190 There’s not much on Chuck Hagel’s résumé that screams secretary of defense.
Posted by: That boy is thnner than piss on a rock at January 31, 2013 10:24 AM (e8kgV)

His main qualification is that he is for sale and seems to stay bought after the sale.

Posted by: Sherry McEvil, Wily Wrepublican Wench at January 31, 2013 10:26 AM (kXoT0)

191 Chuck Hagel. I think of the ending of '9 to 5' Dabney Coleman's character is captured by primitive natives in South America and never heard from again. The Pentagon can be a jungle also.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at January 31, 2013 10:28 AM (S7Hzw)

192 Invictus, thou art the last Centurion? Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at January 31, 2013 10:26 AM (S7Hzw)

Not for nuttin, but, The Last Centurion by John Ringo is a very good read.

Posted by: Sherry McEvil, Wily Wrepublican Wench at January 31, 2013 10:28 AM (kXoT0)

193 "Obama: I'm Not A King"

Admitting it is the first step.

Posted by: Infidelswine at January 31, 2013 10:28 AM (F7UAx)

194 I can however use cleavage for i'd Posted by: ette at January 31, 2013 10:21 AM (nqBYe)

And a bra holster...I may just have to get one for the girls.


Posted by: Sherry McEvil, Wily Wrepublican Wench at January 31, 2013 10:23 AM (kXoT0)

we're all set.

Posted by: ette at January 31, 2013 10:29 AM (nqBYe)

195 ett, as soon as the girl hears we'll be near Build a Bear, she'll be ready to not waste this trip!

I'm not in the mood to spend any money I don't have to.

My son had to try on 5 pairs of attempted hand-me-down before I agreed to get new shoes for him!

And the girl will be spending her own money at BaB for "surgery" and a new sound for one of her pets.

Build a Bear has a new bear...a Girl Scout Cookie Thin Mint bear.

I said "you can't get that, Papa would try to eat it".

Posted by: Mama AJ, Assault Poiser at January 31, 2013 10:29 AM (SUKHu)

196 Invictus, whyfor thou thinketh I use that title? Silly boy thou art far too literal.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at January 31, 2013 10:29 AM (S7Hzw)

197 ette.

I lost an e there.

Yeh, "ett" is a nickname...right...

Posted by: Mama AJ, Assault Poiser at January 31, 2013 10:30 AM (SUKHu)

198
So true. And they prefer high-heeled shoes as anchors for their webs.

Posted by: AnonymousDrivel





Also the empty core of toilet paper rolls, they like the darkness. And the insides of space heaters, the warmth helps the sacs incubate.

Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at January 31, 2013 10:30 AM (kdS6q)

199 What an image.

Girl Scout Cookie Thin Mint bear with a seam slit open with some assault scissors. The stuffing is spilling out while this alleged father figure cackles evilly. Off in the corner is little Susie Sunshine looking on in horror at her Daddy eviscerate her new stuffed bear.

"Now where are the Thin Mints?"

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at January 31, 2013 10:32 AM (S7Hzw)

200 Yeh, "ett" is a nickname...right...

Posted by: Mama AJ, Assault Poiser at January 31, 2013 10:30 AM (SUKHu)

a little ett this a little ett thatI'm told i should capitalize foro it to be a proper name.

Posted by: ette at January 31, 2013 10:33 AM (nqBYe)

201 Invictus, whyfor thou thinketh I use that title? Silly boy thou art far too literal.
Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at January 31, 2013 10:29 AM (S7Hzw)

Beats me. We still have centurions today. Some even post here. We just use different terminology today. I have to admit, doing a thunder run through the middle east like Ringo wrote of would be an adventure not to be missed.

Posted by: Invictus at January 31, 2013 10:34 AM (OQpzc)

202 it's not so wrong to want mint cookies before noon. right?

it would be like stealing mints from a child.

Posted by: ette at January 31, 2013 10:34 AM (nqBYe)

203 Anna, you can now get scents for the bears, so the scene would start with him poking his head up and noting the scent of TMs.

Posted by: Mama AJ, Assault Poiser at January 31, 2013 10:34 AM (SUKHu)

204 it's not so wrong to want mint cookies before noon. right?

it would be like stealing mints from a child.
Posted by: ette at January 31, 2013 10:34 AM (nqBYe)

Only if you break them up in a tall glass, pour mild over them and eat em like cereal.

Posted by: Oldsailors Poet, Author of Amy Lynn available on Amazon. http://tinyurl.com/ahc8poj at January 31, 2013 10:35 AM (l86i3)

205 Also the empty core of toilet paper rolls, they like the darkness.
And the insides of space heaters, the warmth helps the sacs incubate.


Don't forget the undersides of car seats.

Posted by: EC at January 31, 2013 10:35 AM (GQ8sn)

206 i blame all my mooshed and error stuff on pixy.
all.of.it.
even lack of capitalization, commas, grammar.

Posted by: ette at January 31, 2013 10:35 AM (nqBYe)

207 Mama AJ oh my. Just buy eau da thin mint and you wont need other toys to get his attention....

"Mommy why do you and Daddy lock the bedroom door and I hear those noises that sound like nom nom nom?"

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at January 31, 2013 10:36 AM (S7Hzw)

208 Only if you break them up in a tall glass, pour mild over them and eat em like cereal.
Posted by: Oldsailors Poet, Author of Amy Lynn available on Amazon. http://tinyurl.com/ahc8poj at January 31, 2013 10:35 AM (l86i3)


I meant milk, Ice cold milk.

Posted by: Oldsailors Poet, Author of Amy Lynn available on Amazon. http://tinyurl.com/ahc8poj at January 31, 2013 10:36 AM (l86i3)

209 OSP is having to wipe the drool off his keyboard ...

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at January 31, 2013 10:37 AM (S7Hzw)

210 oldsaillor's . yummy things are supposed to be savored, slooowly.




btw ,how many cookies to fill a average cereal bowl?

Posted by: ette at January 31, 2013 10:38 AM (nqBYe)

211 OSP is having to wipe the drool off his keyboard ...
Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at January 31, 2013 10:37 AM (S7Hzw)

That's not drool. I have no GS cookies, I am bummin must locate asap.

Posted by: Oldsailors Poet, Author of Amy Lynn available on Amazon. http://tinyurl.com/ahc8poj at January 31, 2013 10:38 AM (l86i3)

212 Girl Scout Cookie Perfume.

Posted by: Mama AJ, Assault Poiser at January 31, 2013 10:39 AM (SUKHu)

213 btw ,how many cookies to fill a average cereal bowl?
Posted by: ette at January 31, 2013 10:38 AM (nqBYe)

Well, if it's my daughter Jethreen that eats ceral out of a salad bowl with a salad tonge I'm thinking 1 tube.

Posted by: Oldsailors Poet, Author of Amy Lynn available on Amazon. http://tinyurl.com/ahc8poj at January 31, 2013 10:39 AM (l86i3)

214 Bob Menendez bought an Easy-Bake Oven to use as a 'pussy magnet.'

Posted by: zsasz at January 31, 2013 10:40 AM (MMC8r)

215 Bob Menendez bought an Easy-Bake Oven to use as a 'pussy magnet.'
Posted by: zsasz at January 31, 2013 10:40 AM (MMC8r)

But was rebuffed when the fluorescent bulb failed to reach the proper tempreture.

Posted by: Oldsailors Poet, Author of Amy Lynn available on Amazon. http://tinyurl.com/ahc8poj at January 31, 2013 10:41 AM (l86i3)

216 One tube? Why now that is a sugar rush..... plus the chocolate and milk. Total win.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at January 31, 2013 10:41 AM (S7Hzw)

217 Girl Scout Cookie Perfume.


I'll take 6 bottles, please.

Posted by: Roman Polanski at January 31, 2013 10:42 AM (GQ8sn)

218
Bob Menendez bought an Easy-Bake Oven to use as a 'pussy magnet.'

Posted by: zsasz at January 31, 2013 10:40 AM (MMC8r)
hahahaha

Posted by: ette at January 31, 2013 10:42 AM (nqBYe)

219 One tube? Why now that is a sugar rush..... plus the chocolate and milk. Total win.
Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at January 31, 2013 10:41 AM (S7Hzw)


Yep, straight up heroine, only more expensive.

Posted by: Oldsailors Poet, Author of Amy Lynn available on Amazon. http://tinyurl.com/ahc8poj at January 31, 2013 10:42 AM (l86i3)

220 It's okay, 'failure to rise to the proper temp' happens to all bulbs...

Posted by: Mama AJ, Assault Poiser at January 31, 2013 10:43 AM (SUKHu)

221 Now the real questions with Menendez will only start when they find in a hidden cabinet in his Senate office the Hello Kitty microwave.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at January 31, 2013 10:43 AM (S7Hzw)

222
No longer buying GS cookies. Aside from the political bullshit, they are a pale shadow of the real ones.


Just like so many other once desirable things.

Posted by: irongrampa at January 31, 2013 10:45 AM (SAMxH)

223 Girl Scout Cookie Perfume. I'll take 6 bottles, please. Posted by: Roman Polanski at January 31, 2013 10:42 AM (GQ8sn)

Hmmm, business opportunity, scurries out to buy peppermint and chocolate flavoring to mix with vanilla extract.

Wait, to hell with business, with my evil potion dabbed on the pulse points and the bra holster, I shall rule the world.


Who said this writing and world domination thing was hard? To quote Wacky Little Baracky.

Posted by: Sherry McEvil, Wily Wrepublican Wench at January 31, 2013 10:45 AM (kXoT0)

224 Corrolla is priceless when he's on.

That Lennon rant was perfect.

Posted by: eleven at January 31, 2013 10:49 AM (KXm42)

225 "Easy-Bake oven pussy magnet."

FTW

hah

Posted by: eleven at January 31, 2013 10:51 AM (KXm42)

226 Oops wrong thread.

Posted by: eleven at January 31, 2013 10:53 AM (KXm42)

227 Girl Scout Cookie Perfume. I'll take 6 bottles, please. Posted by: Roman Polanski at January 31, 2013 10:42 AM (GQ8sn)

Hmmm, business opportunity, scurries out to buy peppermint and chocolate flavoring to mix with vanilla extract.

Wait, to hell with business, with my evil potion dabbed on the pulse points and the bra holster, I shall rule the world.


Who said this writing and world domination thing was hard? To quote Wacky Little Baracky.


Posted by: Sherry McEvil, Wily Wrepublican Wench at January 31, 2013 10:45 AM (kXoT0)


Sherry, you DO know who Roman Polanski is right?

Posted by: EC at January 31, 2013 10:56 AM (GQ8sn)

228 Russia is preparing to put lawyer Sergei Magnitsky on trial, though dead since 2009, which blurs boundaries between the state and organized crime that plagues nations and international bodies of governance alike, Russia being no exception.

Posted by: panzernashorn at January 31, 2013 11:56 AM (MhA4j)

229 sock

Posted by: lowandslow at February 03, 2013 10:08 AM (Fz2C7)






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