Guess The Crime

Oh, it's a doozy. No peeking.

A Maine woman who was expecting to engage in a “threesome” with neighbors is facing criminal charges for allegedly brandishing several knives after the tryst failed to occur, police report.
Valerie Nile, 44, was arrested late Tuesday evening inside the home of Edward Sabatino, who called 911 to report that Nile was “intoxicated and was threatening him with a knife.”

Found laying on a couch, at least she wasn't er, yeah.

Posted by: CAC at 07:15 PM

Comments

1
peeking!

Ugh.

Posted by: Meremortal, slutdrop the GOPe at January 24, 2013 07:17 PM (1Y+hH)

2 Lisa Murkowski?

Posted by: Buddy PC at January 24, 2013 07:17 PM (jfUIE)

3 Thank you!

Posted by: Meremortal, slutdrop the GOPe at January 24, 2013 07:18 PM (1Y+hH)

4 Well, You Gotta have a Hobby ...

Posted by: American Dawg at January 24, 2013 07:18 PM (trA4n)

5 Is that Jordan's mom or girlfriend? Or both?

Posted by: GovernmentCock Survey at January 24, 2013 07:18 PM (F6KtL)

6 C'mon over honey, we'll take a bath and talk about it. I'll put away all the assault objects.

Posted by: Meremortal, slutdrop the GOPe at January 24, 2013 07:19 PM (1Y+hH)

7 Lives in a trailer park in Down East Maine.

Kay?

Posted by: fluffy at January 24, 2013 07:20 PM (z9HTb)

8 Wow.. she is 44.. she looks alot older than that

Posted by: Jumbo Shrimp at January 24, 2013 07:20 PM (DGIjM)

9 If Kerry spends the night with her, I'll vote for his confirmation...of being a dumbass.

Posted by: Meremortal, slutdrop the GOPe at January 24, 2013 07:20 PM (1Y+hH)

10 As women go - she's rather Manley ,
" not that theres anything wrong with that "

Posted by: American Dawg at January 24, 2013 07:20 PM (trA4n)

11 Does involve chrome and a trailer hitch?

Posted by: sTevo at January 24, 2013 07:21 PM (VMcEw)

12 It has to be Kay

Posted by: The Jackhole at January 24, 2013 07:21 PM (nTgAI)

13 It's a man, baby!

Posted by: Austin Powers at January 24, 2013 07:21 PM (OZPoa)

14 Diane Feinstein lives in Maine?

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at January 24, 2013 07:22 PM (Mj6r9)

15

"Wow.. she is 44.. she looks alot older than that"

--- ____--- -- ____ ___ __---- --- _____

Well, she has a lot of threesome mileage.

Posted by: Meremortal, slutdrop the GOPe at January 24, 2013 07:22 PM (1Y+hH)

16 *swats at fly*

Posted by: Bronco Bama at January 24, 2013 07:22 PM (fAVBA)

17 Please don't post pictures of women that look like men,,,or Helen T.,,,or Shrillery,,, or,,, well, you get the picture

Posted by: teej at January 24, 2013 07:22 PM (FVNuD)

18 I'd hit it.

Posted by: George Orwell what knows 47% got a fever and Uncle Sugar is the only cure at January 24, 2013 07:23 PM (Lxw+T)

19 Willem Dafoe has really hit rock bottom.

Posted by: Andy at January 24, 2013 07:23 PM (OZPoa)

20 Meth is one hell of a drug. It's destroyed two of my cousins and working a third.

Posted by: Cicero Kid at January 24, 2013 07:23 PM (m0v2L)

21 She wasn't fucking a couch?Love seat?

Posted by: steevy at January 24, 2013 07:24 PM (9XBK2)

22 Why weren't all three jailed ?

Inviting that to a triple has to be illegal in most states , no ?

Posted by: Bill D. Cat at January 24, 2013 07:24 PM (BYxr7)

23 21 She wasn't fucking a couch?Love seat?
Posted by: steevy at January 24, 2013 07:24 PM (9XBK2)

Lazy boy.

Posted by: Jumbo Shrimp at January 24, 2013 07:24 PM (DGIjM)

24 She probably thinks 'Friends with Benefits ' is a health plan...

Posted by: American Dawg at January 24, 2013 07:24 PM (trA4n)

25 Willem Dafoe has really hit rock bottom.

Wow. I thought it was Steven Tyler.

Posted by: George Orwell what knows 47% got a fever and Uncle Sugar is the only cure at January 24, 2013 07:24 PM (Lxw+T)

26 My Meth guess was wrong.

Posted by: Max Entropy at January 24, 2013 07:25 PM (2koZc)

27

Assault Face!

Ban!

Posted by: Meremortal, slutdrop the GOPe at January 24, 2013 07:25 PM (1Y+hH)

28 Thank an ever loving God there's no teeth showing .

Posted by: Bill D. Cat at January 24, 2013 07:26 PM (BYxr7)

29 I get pretty pissed off when my threesome fails to happen every-single-night!

Posted by: Max Entropy at January 24, 2013 07:26 PM (2koZc)

30 I don't look that bad & I am 53!
I read a book in the early 1990s, one thing
that really adds wrinkles is sun. I put SPF 30
on my face every day even if I am going out
Later in the day, I don't want to break the habit.

Posted by: CarolT at January 24, 2013 07:26 PM (s0f54)

31 That is Ted Nugent for sure.

Posted by: Herbert Hymenhopper at January 24, 2013 07:26 PM (LSTjp)

32 Heh. She does look like Defoe turned methbo.

Posted by: teej at January 24, 2013 07:26 PM (FVNuD)

33 Was it something to do with the death of Frederica Bimmel and the disappearance of Catherine Martin?

Posted by: Baron Von Ottomatic at January 24, 2013 07:27 PM (6WVi+)

34 Was her crime the stomping of an internet post?

BBL... gotta look at the answer.

Posted by: andycanuck at January 24, 2013 07:27 PM (ORGYc)

35 I thought Madonna was a blonde.

Posted by: George Orwell says it doesn't make a difference at this point at January 24, 2013 07:27 PM (Lxw+T)

36 Now there is a face that was launched by a thousand punches.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at January 24, 2013 07:27 PM (Mj6r9)

37 I guessed "violating a dog" again.

"Guess the Crime" should be a regularly scheduled feature of AoS.

Posted by: Bob, Person of Hench, codename Sayuri at January 24, 2013 07:27 PM (1efte)

38 Memo to DiT :

Sneak this in on a cheerleader thread and suffer the consequences .

Posted by: Bill D. Cat at January 24, 2013 07:28 PM (BYxr7)

39 Good grief, if the guy wanted HER to join in for a threesome, I can't imagine what the other hag looks like.

Posted by: wth at January 24, 2013 07:28 PM (wAQA5)

40
Trailer parks, fugly women, alcohol, and arrest records aren't just for Southern rednecks anymore.

And they make jokes about my cousins back home in Alabama?

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, who did not vote for this shit. at January 24, 2013 07:28 PM (+z4pE)

41 I had a threesome fail to materialize once. I have to admit feeling a rather high degree of disappointment.

Posted by: Burn the Witch at January 24, 2013 07:28 PM (4c71i)

42 can't we get these two energetic kids together? Her, him and the couch

Posted by: thunderb at January 24, 2013 07:28 PM (Dnbau)

43 Now there is a face that was launched by a thousand punches.

That must be one sorry fist.

Posted by: George Orwell says it doesn't make a difference at this point at January 24, 2013 07:29 PM (Lxw+T)

44 How is she set for titties? Hard to tell from that picture.

Posted by: Gristle Encased Head at January 24, 2013 07:29 PM (+lsX1)

45 Okay. This time I hit post, close my eyes, count to five and the scroll the phone before opening my eyes.

Posted by: teej at January 24, 2013 07:29 PM (FVNuD)

46
Posted by: CarolT at January 24, 2013 07:26 PM (s0f54)

Ahem. Rule #2.

Posted by: Meremortal, slutdrop the GOPe at January 24, 2013 07:29 PM (1Y+hH)

47 How does she look from behind? Think you morons are getting a bit too picky. Comments sound like hipster half-fags too afraid to eat pussy. Come on live a little.

Posted by: CT Moron 2.1 at January 24, 2013 07:29 PM (Xf6HL)

48 Knox County Jail should sue for trademark infringement.

Posted by: Cicero, Semiautomatic Assault Commenter at January 24, 2013 07:30 PM (QKKT0)

49
I guessed "violating a dog" again.

There's not enough peanut butter in the world...

Posted by: Toby the Beagle at January 24, 2013 07:30 PM (+z4pE)

50
Well, it was going to be Fish Taco Thursday...
but CAC ruined that for everybody.

Posted by: garrett at January 24, 2013 07:31 PM (+J149)

51 CarolT you are also not an alcoholic meth head. All the sunscreen in the world can't help that

Posted by: thunderb at January 24, 2013 07:31 PM (Dnbau)

52 My. She could give Helen Thomas a run for her jewgold.

Posted by: George Orwell what knows this is an assault blog at January 24, 2013 07:31 PM (Lxw+T)

53 Was she swinging the knife like a pendulum after no one dared to enter her pit?

Posted by: A tail of POE at January 24, 2013 07:31 PM (I88Jc)

54 28
Thank an ever loving God there's no teeth showing .
Posted by: Bill D. Cat at January 24, 2013 07:26 PM (BYxr7)

I'm purty sure there were no teeth available for the mug shot.

Holy Jesus....

Posted by: Portnoy at January 24, 2013 07:31 PM (A5Abh)

55 Those Maine women are teh hawt!

Posted by: The Guy Who Used To Dig Janet Napolitano But Now Digs Maine Women at January 24, 2013 07:32 PM (QKKT0)

56 You can almost smell the stale cigarette odor coming off that picture.

Posted by: Gristle Encased Head at January 24, 2013 07:32 PM (+lsX1)

57
Valerie L. Nile made her initial court appearance Wednesday afternoon in Rockland District Court on charges of criminal threatening and terrorizing.

Bail was set Wednesday at $250 cash. She remained in jail as of Wednesday afternoon.

Well, $250 is pretty steep. We're not all Romneys.

Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at January 24, 2013 07:32 PM (kdS6q)

58
Not with Toby the Beagle's tongue, btw.

Posted by: garrett at January 24, 2013 07:32 PM (+J149)

59 whew. Kay likes to party

Posted by: thunderb at January 24, 2013 07:33 PM (Dnbau)

60 Well guess we should be thankful she is not named Valerie West Nile.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at January 24, 2013 07:33 PM (Mj6r9)

61 She ate Ace's post about his--

"man-box"?

Posted by: tasker at January 24, 2013 07:33 PM (r2PLg)

62 I reserve judgment until I see a full body shot.

Posted by: andycanuck at January 24, 2013 07:33 PM (ORGYc)

63
You just know she doesn't even bother to take the cigarette out of her mouth to tell the State Trooper to kiss her ass.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, who did not vote for this shit. at January 24, 2013 07:34 PM (+z4pE)

64 Sometimes threesomes just aren't worth it....

Posted by: Stateless Infidel at January 24, 2013 07:34 PM (AC0lD)

65 This reminds me of when Chevy Chase was actually funny in the prison scene with Randall Tex Cobb from Fletch Lives.

TEX: Take your pants off.

FLETCH: I don't even know your name.

TEX: Bend over.

FLETCH: Ben, nice to meet you. Victor Hugo. So, what are you in for, Ben?

TEX: Molesting a dead horse.

FLETCH: Well, there's no crime in that! It's your right as an American.

Posted by: Empire of Jeff at January 24, 2013 07:35 PM (JDIKC)

66 Was Ace inspired to write--

"man-box" by this post?

Posted by: tasker at January 24, 2013 07:35 PM (r2PLg)

67 how do you tell your mom about an arrest like that?

Posted by: Jumbo Shrimp at January 24, 2013 07:35 PM (DGIjM)

68 Ace just stomped this but than disappeared his post.

Posted by: steevy at January 24, 2013 07:35 PM (9XBK2)

69
>>You just know she doesn't even bother to take the cigarette out of her mouth

Her mouth?
Look at her.Her vagina smokes three packs a day.

Posted by: garrett at January 24, 2013 07:35 PM (+J149)

70 she's just getting into the mood of everyone owes me , because i want it .

enthusiastically .

she really does look a lot older than 44, methhead? might go with the sex thing.

Posted by: Ette at January 24, 2013 07:35 PM (nqBYe)

71 (ORGYc) ?

How the fuck do you Morontonians get all the cool hashes ?

Bastige .

Posted by: Bill D. Cat at January 24, 2013 07:35 PM (BYxr7)

72 Comments sound like hipster half-fags too afraid to eat pussy.

Oh hell no.

Posted by: fluffy at January 24, 2013 07:36 PM (z9HTb)

73 Whew..... dodged a bullet there.

Posted by: couch at January 24, 2013 07:36 PM (DGIjM)

74 She could prolly get you a good deal on live lobsters...

Hell, I'd please that woman for an 8 pounder...

...

Posted by: Portnoy at January 24, 2013 07:37 PM (A5Abh)

75 I haven't even scrolled up to see the crime.

Have a bad feeling about it from about the bottom third of the comments.

Posted by: tasker at January 24, 2013 07:37 PM (r2PLg)

76 69 I didn't need that image.And look at the comment number.

Posted by: steevy at January 24, 2013 07:37 PM (9XBK2)

77 is she trying to flirt with the police camera guy?

weird.

well honey they wouldn't , well you know, but i think yo are so beautiful/handsome. smile.

Posted by: Ette at January 24, 2013 07:37 PM (nqBYe)

78
Her mouth?
Look at her.Her vagina smokes three packs a day.

You owe me a new keyboard.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, who did not vote for this shit. at January 24, 2013 07:37 PM (+z4pE)

79 And most importantly, did she have a nail file, a BIC lighter, spare cigarettes and three dollars and 47 cents in change hiding in her vagina?

Posted by: Stateless Infidel at January 24, 2013 07:38 PM (AC0lD)

80 :::47 How does she look from behind? Think you morons are getting a bit too picky. Comments sound like hipster half-fags too afraid to eat pussy. Come on live a little.
Posted by: CT Moron 2.1 at January 24, 2013 07:29 PM (Xf6HL):::

In Soviet Russia, pussy eat YOU.

Posted by: Empire of Jeff at January 24, 2013 07:38 PM (JDIKC)

81 She would have shook me all night long.

Posted by: Count de Monet at January 24, 2013 07:38 PM (BAS5M)

82 she is not 44....she is late 50's at best

Posted by: phoenixgirl waiting for spring training at January 24, 2013 07:38 PM (GVxQo)

83 ok, garret, thatmade me gag.

tx

Posted by: Ette at January 24, 2013 07:38 PM (nqBYe)

84 Hell, I'd please that woman for an 8 pounder...

See . Hog , pig , you're all the same .

Posted by: Bill D. Cat at January 24, 2013 07:39 PM (BYxr7)

85 She's been rode hard and put away wet more than once.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, who did not vote for this shit. at January 24, 2013 07:40 PM (+z4pE)

86 I refuse to believe this did not happen in Florida.

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD. Take us away. at January 24, 2013 07:40 PM (Gk3SS)

87
thatmade me gag.

Worse still.

You just know she's a fish lipper.

Posted by: garrett at January 24, 2013 07:40 PM (+J149)

88 phoenix , i'm with you perhaps they made a mistake.

she does not look 44. i was thinking mid 50s

Posted by: Ette at January 24, 2013 07:41 PM (nqBYe)

89 In Soviet Russia, pussy eat YOU.

See? Assault pussy.

Posted by: George Orwell what knows this is an assault blog at January 24, 2013 07:41 PM (Lxw+T)

90 Her and sofa lover should get together.. could be a love connection.

Posted by: Jumbo Shrimp at January 24, 2013 07:41 PM (DGIjM)

91 Ace just stomped this but than disappeared his post.
He didn't want to be assigned to the same prison as Valerie.

Posted by: andycanuck at January 24, 2013 07:41 PM (ORGYc)

92 garrett.

i will never think the same about stuff!

Posted by: Ette at January 24, 2013 07:41 PM (nqBYe)

93 And it's nice to know that in Obama's America, some women are still having sex for pleasure.

Posted by: Stateless Infidel at January 24, 2013 07:42 PM (AC0lD)

94 See . Hog , pig , you're all the same .
Posted by: Bill D. Cat at January 24, 2013 07:39 PM (BYxr7)

??? I had a beer with Hillary Clinton* once....

*edited for current times....

Posted by: Portnoy at January 24, 2013 07:42 PM (A5Abh)

95 How the fuck do you Morontonians get all the cool hashes ?
You just have to pay for the Triple Diamond Platinum with Ewok Fur Trim membership but even then I don't get ampersands in the comment box.

Posted by: andycanuck at January 24, 2013 07:43 PM (ORGYc)

96 Sabatino, who shares his home with roommate Shawna Chickering, 30, said that Nile “lives two trailers over.”

And that's all you need to know to understand this sordid affair.

Posted by: Colorado Alex at January 24, 2013 07:43 PM (hpDVh)

97 And it's nice to know that in Obama's America, some women are still having sex for pleasure.

When's my fucking turn?!?

Posted by: Valerie Nile at January 24, 2013 07:43 PM (z9HTb)

98 Meth head
Trailer
Threesome

No assembly wanted...

Posted by: Mr Wolf, Esq at January 24, 2013 07:43 PM (UIAT6)

99 But thanks to Obama she can get medical insurance despite pre-existing conditions!

What a great nation.

Posted by: George Orwell what knows this is an assault blog at January 24, 2013 07:43 PM (Lxw+T)

100 you know she could use a combing and some highlights in her hair, perhaps a skin toner, and a makeup base (yellow tone)to even out those red patches, ,

then a slap for embarrassing me for being one of her gender.

Posted by: Ette at January 24, 2013 07:44 PM (nqBYe)

101 how do you tell your mom about an arrest like that?

"Hey mom, I've finally got and arrest story that beats yours!"

Posted by: Colorado Alex at January 24, 2013 07:45 PM (hpDVh)

102 56 y.o. man has 30 y.o. live in GF with 2 kids and invites 44 y.o. neighbor over to party. Proposed threesome doesn't materialize and 44 y.o. starts brandishing knives. 30 y.o. claims she was asleep on the couch and didn't see/hear nuttin.

Seems legit.

Posted by: Count de Monet at January 24, 2013 07:46 PM (BAS5M)

103 "Hey mom, I've finally got and arrest story that beats yours!"

Posted by: Colorado Alex at January 24, 2013 07:45 PM (hpDVh)

is that the couch molester?

Posted by: Ette at January 24, 2013 07:47 PM (nqBYe)

104 Comments sound like hipster half-fags too afraid to eat pussy.

I'll pass, had tuna and egg salad for lunch.

Posted by: wth at January 24, 2013 07:48 PM (wAQA5)

105 wretch.

Posted by: Ette at January 24, 2013 07:48 PM (nqBYe)

106
is that the couch molester?

I missed that story.

Posted by: Colorado Alex at January 24, 2013 07:49 PM (hpDVh)

107 i had to go see if Cac posted this.

sighs.

Posted by: Ette at January 24, 2013 07:49 PM (nqBYe)

108 brb

Posted by: Ette at January 24, 2013 07:49 PM (nqBYe)

109 ...Sabatino, who shares his home with roommate Shawna Chickering, 30, said that Nile “lives two trailers over.”
--------------------
I kinda figured.

Posted by: Lurking Flaneur at January 24, 2013 07:50 PM

Posted by: Lurking Flaneur at January 24, 2013 07:50 PM (ay6+/)

110 Colorado alex i don't know how to retrieve it. it is on this site i believe last weekend?

Posted by: Ette at January 24, 2013 07:51 PM (nqBYe)

111 new post up

Posted by: Ette at January 24, 2013 07:52 PM (nqBYe)

112 ...and so I made her the queen of my double-wide trailer
with the polyester curtains and the redwood ....OW!!!

Stop stabbing me you whore...

Posted by: Kershaw Bitches at January 24, 2013 07:52 PM (A5Abh)

113 Just for you, the Couch Fucker post:
minx.cc/?post=336677

Posted by: andycanuck at January 24, 2013 07:53 PM (ORGYc)

114
Does involve chrome and a trailer hitch?

Golf ball through fifty feet of garden hose?

Posted by: Sticky Wicket at January 24, 2013 07:54 PM (L7hol)

115 Where do you put the grenade launcher/bayonet?

Posted by: Big Fat Meanie at January 24, 2013 07:56 PM (CGG+c)

116 alex.

http://minx.cc/?post=336677

Posted by: Ette at January 24, 2013 07:58 PM (nqBYe)

117 andy, gah, i've spent some time(minutes)trying to find that.

Posted by: Ette at January 24, 2013 07:59 PM (nqBYe)

118 hangs head ,schlepps on.

Posted by: Ette at January 24, 2013 08:00 PM (nqBYe)

119 A pretty easy Google, Ette: ace of spades hq couch fucker.

See the other thread for my reply to your query there.

Posted by: andycanuck at January 24, 2013 08:01 PM (ORGYc)

120 Just for you, the Couch Fucker post:
minx.cc/?post=336677

I could have lived the rest of my life without knowing that this particular species of human existed. Thank you for this wonderful gift.

Posted by: Colorado Alex at January 24, 2013 08:02 PM (hpDVh)

121 You're welcome, CO Alex. That's the HQ in action: morons helping morons.

Posted by: andycanuck at January 24, 2013 08:04 PM (ORGYc)

122 Kay in Maine?

Posted by: logprof at January 24, 2013 08:05 PM (jVAw4)

123 Where was she holding the third knife ?

Posted by: Bill D. Cat at January 24, 2013 08:15 PM (BYxr7)

124 88 phoenix , i'm with you perhaps they made a mistake.

she does not look 44. i was thinking mid 50s
Posted by: Ette at January 24, 2013 07:41 PM (nqBYe)

Eh, a steady diet of cigarettes, meth, and Pringles will do that to you.

Posted by: joncelli at January 24, 2013 08:51 PM (CWlPF)

125 More like Nalarie Vile, am I right?

Posted by: BeckoningChasm at January 24, 2013 09:13 PM (xjpRj)

126 Okay I'll play the game since this thread is dead and I didnt peak. She looks very pleased with herself. Must involve sex bc AoSHQ demands it. And violence. I guess revenge crime of magnifence.

Posted by: Lazy L,, elle on her phone at January 24, 2013 09:16 PM (ndxIr)

127 Lazy autocorrect to boot. Magnificence that was meant to
read.

Posted by: Lazy L,, elle on her phone at January 24, 2013 09:18 PM (ndxIr)

128 I'd hit it, but I don't have the brush hog on the tractor right now.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at January 24, 2013 09:22 PM (29+x5)

129 CAC, the couch post was worse

Posted by: Lazy L,, elle on her phone at January 24, 2013 09:29 PM (0PiQ4)

130 Ace Im sending cash...now. Keep whiping the gang to put out larks like this. The crowd remarks in response at AofS HQ has made my day. Bravo to CAC for the pick me up.

Posted by: bverwey at January 24, 2013 09:53 PM (Ci2aO)

131 Two trailers over would be a good name for a band.

Posted by: kalel666 at January 25, 2013 07:52 AM (gSqI7)

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