"Assault Coffee"

@iowahawkblog notes that this coffee mug, containing at least one characteristic of a so-defined "assault weapon" (a military-style pistol grip) should be categorized as an assault beverage.

Kind of funny.

I'm trying to build on his joke: Can we do the same thing? Can we take anything we don't like and throw the "assault" designator in front of it and get it banned?

Here's some proposed legislative language:

"An 'assault advocate' shall be defined as a public advocate possessing any two of the following three features:

-- a 'military-style' pistol grip;

-- a cloying and entitled attitude;

-- a rail permitting the attachment of 'tactical' features such as a laser-sight or bayonet;

-- the belief that paying $4.00 for birth control at Wal*Mart is some kind of dealbreaker;

-- a "military-style" triangular stock with interior angles greater than 25 degrees;

and

-- a face that looks like a shoe, and not a nice shoe, but one of those sad shoes you see hanging from telephone wires, the sort of hanging telephone wire shoes where you say, "Boy, there must be a backstory on that, and I don't want to know what it is."

CNN Fails Again: @jaycaruso linked this piece.

Feinstein, who authored the 1994 Assault Weapons Ban that Congress declined to renew 10 years later, displayed weapons that would be banned, such as a Bushmaster automatic rifle, at Thursday's news conference.

It's not automatic. God. They just really do not care to do the most minimal research into a subject area where they want to enact wholesale bans, do they?

If you missed Andy's update this morning on the Mensa Chapter Presidents at the Chicago Tribune, check it out. It's both sad and funny.


Posted by: Ace at 01:15 PM



Comments

1 Tactical Shoehorns are a menace

Posted by: The Jackhole at January 24, 2013 01:16 PM (nTgAI)

2 I'm registering as an assault commenter.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at January 24, 2013 01:17 PM (QKKT0)

3 It's only a matter of time before guns will be considered so offensive we'll have to refer to them as the "g-word".

Posted by: Blacksheep at January 24, 2013 01:17 PM (8/DeP)

4 ordering two now

Posted by: navycopjoe at January 24, 2013 01:17 PM (uS1Sk)

5
Peter North - Assault Cock w/ High Capacity Mag

Posted by: garrett at January 24, 2013 01:17 PM (WKuE/)

6 >> Can we take anything we don't like and throw the "assault" designator in front of it and get it banned?

Like that awful Assault Nickelback band?

Posted by: Andy at January 24, 2013 01:18 PM (C/NnJ)

7 I feel assaulted every time I fill up my gas tank.
That trigger thing and big nozzle... is scary enough.. but then i see the price.

Posted by: Jumbo Shrimp at January 24, 2013 01:18 PM (DGIjM)

8 Daily Caller has the list of guns by name. Basically any AK and AR type weapon.

Posted by: EC at January 24, 2013 01:19 PM (GQ8sn)

9 6 nickelback....the only band that makes winger looks good

Posted by: navycopjoe at January 24, 2013 01:19 PM (uS1Sk)

10 Ace - Headline reads 'Assualt'. Must have slipped through your multi-tiered Editorial staff.

Posted by: Salon Headline Editor at January 24, 2013 01:19 PM (WKuE/)

11 "An 'assault advocate' shall be defined as a public advocate possessing any two of the following three features:

-- a 'military-style' pistol grip;

-- a cloying and entitled attitude;


Gray hair which has seen neither comb nor conditioner since 1968

Posted by: Sean Bannion at January 24, 2013 01:20 PM (RWS3b)

12 Man, those Keurig machines are noisy.

Posted by: Fourth Virginia at January 24, 2013 01:20 PM (wbmaj)

13 The Morning After Assault Pill?

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at January 24, 2013 01:20 PM (fLln5)

14
>>>the only band that makes winger looks good

You secretly have a mancrush on Nuno, don't you?
It's ok. Lots of guys do.

Posted by: Kip Winger at January 24, 2013 01:21 PM (WKuE/)

15 automatic, semi-automatic, who cares?? they're all Weapons of Doom

Posted by: JDP at January 24, 2013 01:21 PM (60GaT)

16 My son is being assaulted by AP calculus.

Posted by: NCKate at January 24, 2013 01:21 PM (niJ61)

17 The more I drink, the higher my rate of fire.

Ban me.

For the Children, you know.

Posted by: 98ZJUSMC Waiting for the Sun at January 24, 2013 01:21 PM (tFbFc)

18 Somebody should market big plastic pistol grips to stick on the back of Chevy Volts (like the big wind-up keys they used to make for the VW bugs).

Bingo- an "Assault Volt".

Granted any Chevy Volt is more like a Kamikaze than an "assault weapon"...

Posted by: Nighthawk at January 24, 2013 01:21 PM (RSqz2)

19 Happiness is a warm gun. Bliss is a hot cup of coffee.

Posted by: Fourth Virginia at January 24, 2013 01:21 PM (wbmaj)

20 We've had Urban Assault Vehicles for quite a while.

Posted by: jeanne at January 24, 2013 01:21 PM (GdalM)

21 It's not automatic. God. They just really do not care to do the most minimal research into a subject area where they want to enact wholesale bans, do they?


They are deliberately doing that it's not an accident.

Posted by: Spoily McSpoilerson at January 24, 2013 01:21 PM (yvHCN)

22 "Gentlemen I present to you the EM-50 Urban Assault Vehicle."

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at January 24, 2013 01:22 PM (fLln5)

23 Granted any Chevy Volt is more like a Kamikaze than an "assault weapon"...

It's more of an incendiary.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at January 24, 2013 01:22 PM (QKKT0)

24 Pointed comments, backhanded compliments and barbed wit hardest hit.

Posted by: huerfano at January 24, 2013 01:22 PM (bAGA/)

25 I'm thinking there are an aweful lot of sex toys that would have a "pistol grip"...IYKWIMAITTYD.

Posted by: Republican Stratedgists at January 24, 2013 01:22 PM (D8pR3)

26
Another version of 'Assault Coffee'...

Posted by: Dan at January 24, 2013 01:22 PM (oQAzI)

27 A Salt Shaker!

Posted by: Mayor Bloomberg at January 24, 2013 01:22 PM (WKuE/)

28 I want to create evil-looking stick figure guns to go on the rear windows of vehicles.

(You know, like the stupid stick figure families, but much cooler and scarier.)

Posted by: Jane D'oh at January 24, 2013 01:22 PM (UOM48)

29 Assault Voters.

a/k/a The FSA.

Why not ban them?

FBI statistics show The FSA is responsible for an extremely high number of murders, rapes and robberies every year.

I don't see why they need to vote . . . .

Posted by: RoyalOil at January 24, 2013 01:22 PM (imtbm)

30 Oh, and coffee *is* dangerous, because it's hot and stuff.

Posted by: jeanne at January 24, 2013 01:22 PM (GdalM)

31 guns R bad + let's get more women killed in combat

ah liberalism

Posted by: JDP at January 24, 2013 01:23 PM (60GaT)

32 - The lack of a penis or gonads where they should be

Pretty much all liberals are now banned.

Posted by: Marcus at January 24, 2013 01:24 PM (GGCsk)

33 Can I get my coffee with a bayonet lug?

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at January 24, 2013 01:24 PM (fLln5)

34 Valerie Jarrett: We must stop violence against women!!!!

Leon Panetta: I know, let's send women into combat!

Posted by: Jane D'oh at January 24, 2013 01:24 PM (UOM48)

35 Tactical assault kitten?

Posted by: Marcus at January 24, 2013 01:24 PM (GGCsk)

36
Anyone remember the clamour to ban 'Saturday Night Specials' in the late 70's?
'Armor Piercing Rounds', and 'Cop Killer Bullets' in the 80's?

Every. Chance. They. Get.

Posted by: garrett at January 24, 2013 01:25 PM (WKuE/)

37 FUCK OBAMA

FUCK THE MEDIA

FUCK LIBERALS

FUCK EM ALL!

Then douse them with Kerosene and LET THEM BURN!

Posted by: jeremiah God Damn Barack Obama the Mother Fucking SCoaMF wright at January 24, 2013 01:25 PM (+OTLF)

38
14 grab some paper towels and start cleaning the coffee off my laptop garrett

to my great shame...yes, I can play madalaine and can't get enough

Posted by: navycopjoe at January 24, 2013 01:25 PM (uS1Sk)

39 Condoms will fall under the measure:
CHECK:'military-style' pistol grip;
CHECK:a cloying and entitled attitude;
CHECK:a rail permitting the attachment of 'tactical' features such as a laser-sight or bayonet; (ouch! that'll leave a mark)
CHECK:the belief that paying $4.00 for birth control at Wal*Mart is some kind of dealbreaker;
CHECK:a "military-style" triangular stock with interior angles greater than 25 degrees; (assuming ist's big enough)
ALSO: Comes in 'mat-black' finish.

Posted by: Foghorn Leghorn at January 24, 2013 01:26 PM (pDRpv)

40 Actually coffee from the pot and put in that cap would meet two criteria - black and pistol grip. Just fit a bayonet lug. And voila!

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at January 24, 2013 01:26 PM (fLln5)

41 Has anybody else listened to those Manti voice mails? If I didn't know it was a dude I would think that was a woman's voice.

Posted by: Flatbush Joe at January 24, 2013 01:26 PM (ZPrif)

42 Our kids and grandkids are being attacked by Assault Debt.

Posted by: Andy at January 24, 2013 01:26 PM (C/NnJ)

43 I'm waiting for a moron with mad photo-shop skillz to come up witha picture of an assault dildo.

Posted by: OregonMuse at January 24, 2013 01:26 PM (9GaPd)

44 "They just really do not care to do the most minimal research into a
subject area where they want to enact wholesale bans, do they?"

They've done enough research to be aware of the areas they can get away with fudging terms and obscuring clarity. They know what they are talking about. They are propagandizing.

Posted by: Mike James at January 24, 2013 01:26 PM (cgDgK)

45 The beard I grow during elk season requires an intensive background check by the BATF.

Posted by: Gristle Encased Head at January 24, 2013 01:27 PM (+lsX1)

46 Just saw a report on the local news that a guy was arrested for stabbing someone with a broken light bulb. Clearly, we need light bulb control. Oh wait. I mean, more light bulb control.

Posted by: mugiwara at January 24, 2013 01:27 PM (U8y4G)

47 Oh, and lest we forget, all of Obama's "reasonable" proposals are favored by a majority of voters.

Of course, it would be impolite and irrelevant of me to point out that Jim Crow Laws were favored by a majority of voters as well.

Tyranny of the Majority, now it's for your own good! Because the Majority knows best.

Posted by: RoyalOil at January 24, 2013 01:27 PM (imtbm)

48 They just really do not care to do the most minimal research

Dude, they know precisely that this weapon is not an automatic.

They don't give a fuck.

They're not after moving YOUR opinion. They already KNOW your opinion.

They're after moving low-information PUBLIC opinion.

They're just lying. Because they know that lying works.

You're just frustrated because they're willing to LIE for their cause and get away with it because they own the presses, the broadcast booths and the high-traffic websites.

Solution: Conservatives have a choice. They can buy the presses, the broadcast booths and the high-traffic websites.

Or they can choose NOT to do that and continue losing to those who own them.

Posted by: someguy at January 24, 2013 01:27 PM (zVTZX)

49 The "Anti-Personnel Burrito".

Which, if Mrs. Nighthawk is to be believed is just about any one I consume.

Oh, excuse me...

Posted by: Nighthawk at January 24, 2013 01:27 PM (RSqz2)

50 What is this? A joke?

Posted by: an assault peanut walking down the road at January 24, 2013 01:27 PM (ORGYc)

51 CNN fails:
it's not that they don't know or don't care to know. They've been told repeatedly over the last 30 years the difference between automatic and semiautomatic and what the actual definition of "assault rifle" is. They know what they're reporting isn't accurate. They're LIARS. It's just who they are.

Posted by: MLCross at January 24, 2013 01:27 PM (taib7)

52
assault advocate - she who has hair that looks like a helmet; helmet head; caused by dated hairstyles requiring application of a full 12 oz. can of Aqua Net daily. Examples of helmet heads are Diane Feinstein and Ferretface Pelosi.

Posted by: waldo at January 24, 2013 01:27 PM (WIZUa)

53 It is too bad that lefties are not shamed by their own ignorance.

Posted by: assault shillelagh at January 24, 2013 01:27 PM (hRzu2)

54 Can we surgically attach a bayonet lug to Feinstein's forehead?

Posted by: Marcus at January 24, 2013 01:27 PM (GGCsk)

55 Valerie Jarrett: We must stop violence against women!!!!

High-income, married, white Christian men, however, can be freely battered.

Posted by: Blacksheep at January 24, 2013 01:27 PM (8/DeP)

56 My buddy dated a chick in college with an assault vagina.

Posted by: Flatbush Joe at January 24, 2013 01:27 PM (ZPrif)

57
43 witha picture of an assault dildo.
****looks around for peaches****

leave the patriots defensive line out of it

Posted by: navycopjoe at January 24, 2013 01:28 PM (uS1Sk)

58 OT: I used the link below thread to take the RNC survey. It also allows you to comment on what you think the Repubes could do better at and what issues are most important to you.
They might feel assaulted by what I wrote but hopefully someone will actually read these and act upon the suggestions.

Posted by: Cheri at January 24, 2013 01:28 PM (G+Wff)

59
Ace of Spades HQ - Your Smart Military-Style Assault Blog

Posted by: t-bird at January 24, 2013 01:28 PM (FcR7P)

60
MFM News Anchors: Fully Automatic Douchenozzles

Posted by: fixerupper at January 24, 2013 01:28 PM (nELVU)

61 Yes we can Ace. Curmudgeonly and Skeptical has already beat you to it.


Here is the link:http://curmudgeonlyskeptical.blogspot.com/2013/01/obama-logic.html

Posted by: DiogenesLamp at January 24, 2013 01:28 PM (bb5+k)

62 Can we remain suction curetts "assault vacuums"?

Fair's fair.

Posted by: Lauren at January 24, 2013 01:28 PM (wsGWu)

63
The most disgusting thing said today was this:

Kids would be alive today in Newtown if the law we are proposing today were in place on December 14, 2012

Sen Dianne
Feinstein ž@SenFeinstein .@ChrisMurphyCT: Kids would be alive today in Newtown
if the law we are proposing today were in place on December 14, 2012.


Posted by: Jay at January 24, 2013 01:28 PM (3LaGb)

64 Somebody should market big plastic pistol grips to stick on the back of Chevy Volts (like the big wind-up keys they used to make for the VW bugs).

That woulda looked great on the preius (sp) that was trying to make a left on a one-way, the wrong way, last night on my way home last night. Lib fucker.

Posted by: Infidel at January 24, 2013 01:28 PM (bzOLE)

65 I want to create evil-looking stick figure guns to go on the rear windows of vehicles.

(You know, like the stupid stick figure families, but much cooler and scarier.)


Dad carries the .50AE mom the S and* W .38 spcl. the son a 20 ga semi, the daughter a cricket single shot?

Posted by: MikeTheMoose Offering Moobats Gasoline and Matches at January 24, 2013 01:29 PM (0q2P7)

66 Re: the "automatic" issue

THEY know its not an automatic weapon, but they also know that most viewers don't know what an automatic weapon is and that if they repeat it often enough the lie will become ingrained. THEY don't care about the truth in any way shape or form.


Posted by: BuckIV at January 24, 2013 01:29 PM (gedHR)

67 28 I want to create evil-looking stick figure guns to go on the rear windows of vehicles.

(You know, like the stupid stick figure families, but much cooler and scarier.)
Posted by: Jane D'oh at January 24, 2013 01:22 PM (UOM48



Jane.. they have it already.. check out this truck.

.


http://tinyurl.com/aq5xart

Posted by: Jumbo Shrimp at January 24, 2013 01:29 PM (DGIjM)

68
By the way, Connecticut has an assault-weapons ban, modeled after a federal law that was enacted in 1994.
These people are deranged.

Posted by: Jay at January 24, 2013 01:29 PM (3LaGb)

69 63 The stupid, it burns.

Posted by: Infidel at January 24, 2013 01:29 PM (bzOLE)

70 Hillary--

Assault Testimony.

Posted by: tasker at January 24, 2013 01:29 PM (r2PLg)

71 Well.. hell.... Condom = Flash Suppresor?

Little Blue Pills = Large Capacity Magazine?

Don't even wanna think of Bayonet Lugs...

Posted by: Romeo13 at January 24, 2013 01:30 PM (lZBBB)

72 YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES.

Ace, you've written ad nauseum as to how we need to change the dialogue. This is how you do it. MOCKERY. combined with knowledge.

Make fun of them. What about the assault hammers? The assault baseball bat?


And then combine it with the motherfucking knowledge. Tell who you're talking to, did you know that the word "assault weapon" is a lie, because they think you're stupid?? Some huge gun control nut said the public was sick of hearing about the bitching about handguns, so the "movement" needed something new to talk about. They then started talking about "assault weapons" because they look "scary" and the public was too stupid to know the difference between military rifles, and military STYLE rifles.

Mockery and truth. It works every fucking time.

Posted by: Prescient11 at January 24, 2013 01:30 PM (tVTLU)

73 Gentlemen I present to you the EM-50 Urban Assault Vehicle."

C'mon, it's Czechoslovakia. We zip in, we pick 'em up, we zip right out again. We're not going to Moscow. It's Czechoslovakia. It's like going into Wisconsin.

Posted by: Sean Bannion at January 24, 2013 01:30 PM (RWS3b)

74 Assault Fergie

Posted by: HoboJerky, now with 45% more DOOM! at January 24, 2013 01:30 PM (xAtAj)

75 34 this is the thing, liberals obviously have _some_ conception of gender differences. they just don't want said differences to manifest themselves in any way in terms of policy, even when they're blindingly relevant.

Posted by: JDP at January 24, 2013 01:30 PM (60GaT)

76 Paul Krugman

Assault Economics.

Posted by: tasker at January 24, 2013 01:30 PM (r2PLg)

77 Assault Tee Vee by NBC, ABC, CBS, PBS, CNN etc.

Posted by: sTevo at January 24, 2013 01:30 PM (YMHVx)

78 Can we agree to call any assault feature a "Julia"?

Bayonet lug? Well that's one 'Julia"?

Pistol grip? Yep, a "Julia".

Posted by: Marcus at January 24, 2013 01:30 PM (GGCsk)

79 Posted by: Jumbo Shrimp at January 24, 2013 01:29 PM (DGIjM)


Oh..... my.....

Posted by: Romeo13 at January 24, 2013 01:31 PM (lZBBB)

80 Here's MY proposed legislative language:


1. Red States make being a Democrat a felony


2. House Republicans pass a bill calling for the expulsion of ANY congress member who advocates or submits a bill that is plainly against the English wording of the Constitution. After expulsion, their citizenship to be removed and they will be deported to the worst 3rd world shithole on earth.

Posted by: Vic at January 24, 2013 01:31 PM (53z96)

81 I keep Assault Shaker next to my peppermill.

Posted by: Buzzsaw90 at January 24, 2013 01:31 PM (SO2Q8)

82 Granted any Chevy Volt is more like a Kamikaze than an "assault weapon"...

And you can't classify it as an IED because it isn't improvised.

Posted by: t-bird at January 24, 2013 01:31 PM (FcR7P)

83 Assault SCOAMF

Posted by: Marcus at January 24, 2013 01:31 PM (GGCsk)

84 Assault hash.

Posted by: Mama AJ at January 24, 2013 01:31 PM (SUKHu)

85 Chris Matthews-

Assault Spit.

Posted by: tasker at January 24, 2013 01:31 PM (r2PLg)

86 And again, they are using the term "assault rifle", which is simply the wrong word.

Assault Journalism

Posted by: HoboJerky, now with 45% more DOOM! at January 24, 2013 01:31 PM (xAtAj)

87 Assault assault -

Hitting someone with a pistol grip and flash suppressor.

Posted by: Bevel Lemelisk at January 24, 2013 01:31 PM (74T7W)

88 Assault T dog

Posted by: Marcus at January 24, 2013 01:31 PM (GGCsk)

89 Kids would be alive today in Newtown if the law we are proposing today were in place on December 14, 2012 


OMFG Connecticut has an assault weapon ban! The stupid (or duplicity) burns.

Posted by: Lauren at January 24, 2013 01:32 PM (wsGWu)

90 Posted by: Jumbo Shrimp at January 24, 2013 01:18 PM (DGIjM)


THANKS!!! Gas Nozzles have Pistol Grips! We get a two fer!

Posted by: EPA at January 24, 2013 01:32 PM (lZBBB)

91 My vision and mental well being are under attack from the Chicago "That Girl" assault Bangs. My eyes, I can't see out my eyes, cut me Mick...

Posted by: Jrr at January 24, 2013 01:32 PM (BdVar)

92 Assault bacon. The end all.

Posted by: sTevo at January 24, 2013 01:32 PM (YMHVx)

93 Chief Justice Breyer

Assault Logic.

Posted by: tasker at January 24, 2013 01:32 PM (r2PLg)

94 David Brooks: Assault Pants Crease

Posted by: Jay at January 24, 2013 01:32 PM (3LaGb)

95 Who will be our Calhoun?

Who in the Senate dares stand for the rights of the minority?


Posted by: RoyalOil at January 24, 2013 01:33 PM (imtbm)

96 Tactical tampons.

Assault tampons.

Hey, tampons can kill. Ever heard of toxic shock?

Posted by: mon nom est mpfs at January 24, 2013 01:33 PM (SDM+V)

97 Turn you sporting spray paint can into an assault spray paint can.

http://www.lowes.com/pd_284850-90-241526_0__

Posted by: Buzzsaw at January 24, 2013 01:33 PM (aVYsC)

98 'Armor Piercing Rounds', and 'Cop Killer Bullets' in the 80's?


If I am not mistaken the ATF added those to the Class III class by executive fiat long ago.

Posted by: Vic at January 24, 2013 01:33 PM (53z96)

99
OMFG Connecticut has an assault weapon ban! The stupid (or duplicity) burns
==========
I know. I mean, can you imagine if a Republican waved the bloody shirt like that?

Posted by: Jay at January 24, 2013 01:33 PM (3LaGb)

100 Sen Dianne
Feinstein ž@SenFeinstein .@ChrisMurphyCT: Kids would be alive today in Newtown
if the law we are proposing today were in place on December 14, 2012.


So, you're blaming Obama for not taking executive action last year? Racist!

Posted by: t-bird at January 24, 2013 01:33 PM (FcR7P)

101 How about an Assault Dildo?

Posted by: Teresa in Fort Worth, TX at January 24, 2013 01:33 PM (ADnWI)

102 Oops Justice Breyer--I was going to go for something else...

Posted by: tasker at January 24, 2013 01:33 PM (r2PLg)

103 Assault Logic: Any fact used in an aggressive manner to destroy liberal positions.

Posted by: HoboJerky, now with 45% more DOOM! at January 24, 2013 01:33 PM (xAtAj)

104
Solution: Conservatives have a choice. They can buy the presses, the broadcast booths and the high-traffic websites.

Or they can choose NOT to do that and continue losing to those who own them.


Posted by: someguy at January 24, 2013 01:27 PM (zVTZX)

That is a variation of a chorus that I am constantly singing. The real enemy in this land are those people who make falsehood appear to be truth, and who make insanity appear to be wisdom.


Till we have our own media attack fighter, they are going to continue to dominate the airwaves.



Posted by: DiogenesLamp at January 24, 2013 01:34 PM (bb5+k)

105 At Feinstein's press conference today to introduce legislation to ban 150 styles of guns, they open the presser with a prayer. They got a Catholic priest up there to offer a prayer against scary guns.
First of all, isn't this the party that booed God at their convention 3 times? Isn't this the party that demonizes christians as bible thumping idiots? Isn't this the party who by in large endorses and demands funding for abortion on demand and free birth control for all?
Pretty sick that they use God and prayer when it serves their overall agenda.

Posted by: Cheri at January 24, 2013 01:34 PM (G+Wff)

106 Assault tears.

Posted by: Hillary! at January 24, 2013 01:34 PM (SUKHu)

107 Democrat fiscal plan--

Assault Taxes.

Posted by: tasker at January 24, 2013 01:34 PM (r2PLg)

108 That coffee mug is weak sauce compared to the "shot gun" the guys on Always Sunny were trying to invent for their bar.

Posted by: Gristle Encased Head at January 24, 2013 01:34 PM (+lsX1)

109 Assault Logic.

Posted by: tasker at January 24, 2013 01:32 PM (r2PLg)

damn minute too late sorry

Posted by: HoboJerky, now with 45% more DOOM! at January 24, 2013 01:34 PM (xAtAj)

110 A Salty Box.

Posted by: Uma Abedin at January 24, 2013 01:34 PM (lF2rr)

111 Assault spawn.

Posted by: sTevo at January 24, 2013 01:35 PM (YMHVx)

112 - a 'military-style' pistol grip;

Shit. How am I going to water my lawn?

Posted by: t-bird at January 24, 2013 01:35 PM (FcR7P)

113
Low Info Italian Voters-- Wop Peons of Mass Destruction

Posted by: fixerupper at January 24, 2013 01:35 PM (nELVU)

114 Under those conditions, I think we can easily ban the AssaultNPR and AssaultPBS. In fact I think those are weapons of mass destruction.

Posted by: Guy Mohawk at January 24, 2013 01:35 PM (p/cQy)

115 A Salt Spoon.

Posted by: Uri Geller at January 24, 2013 01:35 PM (lF2rr)

116 They're LIARS. It's just who they are.


Posted by: MLCross at January 24, 2013 01:27 PM (taib7)

To be fair, I think some of them really haven't been paying attention, and really don't know the difference. The rest, are as you say, "LIARS!"



Posted by: DiogenesLamp at January 24, 2013 01:35 PM (bb5+k)

117 We need to take something from hipsters that they love....

Assault Smell with attachments lugs for rank and fetid.

Posted by: MikeTheMoose Offering Moobats Gasoline and Matches at January 24, 2013 01:35 PM (0q2P7)

118 Obama Inaugural address--

Assault Speech.

Posted by: tasker at January 24, 2013 01:35 PM (r2PLg)

119 Probably a lot of married guys here think their wives carry assault credit cards.

Posted by: kallisto at January 24, 2013 01:36 PM (jm/9g)

120 Someone tried to explain the difference between an automatic action and an actual automatic weapon but we didn't get it so we simplified it for our readers.

Posted by: CNN at January 24, 2013 01:36 PM (/YJYi)

121 A Salt Wife

Posted by: Lot at January 24, 2013 01:36 PM (lF2rr)

122 Assault Garden Hose

Posted by: HoboJerky, now with 45% more DOOM! at January 24, 2013 01:36 PM (xAtAj)

123 Assault slurpys

Posted by: sTevo at January 24, 2013 01:36 PM (YMHVx)

124 Whew thanks for the fresh thread. That last one, was wearing me out.

Posted by: gigg at January 24, 2013 01:36 PM (41VCE)

125 A Salty Dog

Posted by: Procol Harum at January 24, 2013 01:36 PM (lF2rr)

126 Assault vibrator?

Posted by: Prescient11 at January 24, 2013 01:36 PM (tVTLU)

127 Low Info Italian Voters-- Wop Peons of Mass Destruction


LOL!

Posted by: EC at January 24, 2013 01:36 PM (GQ8sn)

128
At some point, the pro-2A folks sitting across the interview table from the useful idiot talking heads are going to have to forget about rejecting strawman arguments, correcting terminology, and interjecting facts. It's going to need to morph into Alinsky-style personal derision and ridicule.

The former has half-lifed its usefulness amongst the idiots. The latter appeals to undecideds, couch potatos, and LIVs (BIRM).

Posted by: Jaws at January 24, 2013 01:36 PM (4I3Uo)

129 Me no like this story:

"Two vocal opponents of Naperville’s initiative to install wireless electric meters on homes were arrested after interfering with the installation process, according to city officials."

* * *
I wonder what a couple of neodymium magnets on the meter would do ...

Posted by: weft cut-loop at January 24, 2013 01:36 PM (xz0nG)

130 At Feinstein's press conference today to introduce legislation to ban
150 styles of guns, they open the presser with a prayer. They got a
Catholic priest up there to offer a prayer against scary guns.


Will he be invited back for the next debate on partial birth abortion?

Posted by: Gristle Encased Head at January 24, 2013 01:36 PM (+lsX1)

131 From the hard hitting fact driven mag known as Time - see if you can spot the facepalm.


http://tinyurl.com/aax8zo5

Posted by: RWC at January 24, 2013 01:36 PM (fWAjv)

132 @ Vic regarding your comment at 80:

I propose the return of exile.

Also, the return of the original meaning of outlaw; that is, outside the law and its protections.

And of course, Letters of Marque.


Posted by: RoyalOil at January 24, 2013 01:37 PM (imtbm)

133 Hey Jane, I heard you were going to pose topless for us.

That's an assault I can support.

Posted by: Truman North, now at 25% battery life at January 24, 2013 01:37 PM (moxEu)

134 That's a very handsome picture of Feinstein up on Drudge ... she could balance that fully automatic killing machine of war on her extra chin.

Posted by: Blacksheep at January 24, 2013 01:37 PM (8/DeP)

135 Automatic...semi-automatic - close enough for government/MFM work.

Posted by: hannitys_hybrid at January 24, 2013 01:38 PM (zpqa2)

136
Jane.. they have it already.. check out this truck.



.





http://tinyurl.com/aq5xart

Posted by: Jumbo Shrimp at January 24, 2013 01:29 PM (DGIjM



Wow. Now that's a family!

Posted by: Jane D'oh at January 24, 2013 01:38 PM (UOM48)

137 And there is actually two mistakes there. Unless an arthritic two fingered individual is shooting it, 45 rpm is laughable.

Posted by: RWC at January 24, 2013 01:38 PM (fWAjv)

138
118Obama Inaugural address--


Assault Speech.


Assault witha deadly agenda.

Posted by: wheatie at January 24, 2013 01:38 PM (fH4X9)

139 Jesse Jackson ==

Assault poetry.

Posted by: tasker at January 24, 2013 01:39 PM (r2PLg)

140 Kids would be alive today in Newtown if the law we are proposing today were in place on December 14, 2012





Posted by: Jay at January 24, 2013 01:28 PM (3LaGb)

And this is where an Objective media would say, "Senator, that is nonsense." and then proceed to explain why. The media would out her as either a liar or a loon, or both, but that's *IF* we had an objective media.



Posted by: DiogenesLamp at January 24, 2013 01:39 PM (bb5+k)

141 A guy in SC stabbed his wife with a sword hidden in a cane yesterday.

Assault cane.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at January 24, 2013 01:39 PM (UOM48)

142 Posted by: Jay at January 24, 2013 01:28 PM (3LaGb)

If I was going to be an insensitive asshole, which I am sometimes, I'd note to Feinstein that the Newtown kids quite possibly are the lucky ones. They're off the hook for the national debt.

Posted by: Country Singer at January 24, 2013 01:40 PM (L8r/r)

143
I thought for sure I was gonna get one of these for Christmas. I was disappointed.

http://bugasalt.com/

Posted by: Guy Mohawk at January 24, 2013 01:40 PM (p/cQy)

144 137 And there is actually two mistakes there. Unless an arthritic two fingered individual is shooting it, 45 rpm is laughable.
Posted by: RWC at January 24, 2013 01:38 PM (fWAjv)



Maybe they got confused with those big old black CDs

Posted by: Truman North, now at 25% battery life at January 24, 2013 01:40 PM (moxEu)

145 I bet the media would *helpfully* counter a claim by the GOP that if guns were allowed in schools Newtown wouldn't have happened.

3.5 Pinocchios

Posted by: HoboJerky, now with 45% more DOOM! at January 24, 2013 01:40 PM (xAtAj)

146 if you pull the trigger and the bullet "automatically" comes out....it's an "automatic" weapon and "automatic" weapons kill people "automatically" or "automatically" kill people or something like that "automatic" garage doors are bad too....so what difference does it make?

Posted by: phoenixgirl waiting for spring training at January 24, 2013 01:40 PM (GVxQo)

147 Lindsay Lohan--

Assault Crotch.

Posted by: tasker at January 24, 2013 01:40 PM (r2PLg)

148 Assault Penis.

Need I say more?

Posted by: mon nom est mpfs, cromulcalifragilisticexpialidocious at January 24, 2013 01:40 PM (fYPGk)

149
43
I'm waiting for a moron with mad photo-shop skillz to come up witha picture of an assault dildo.


Posted by: OregonMuse at January 24, 2013 01:26 PM (9GaPd)

-----------------------

101
How about an Assault Dildo?





Posted by: Teresa in Fort Worth, TX at January 24, 2013 01:33 PM (ADnWI)



http://tinyurl.com/3orsplz

Posted by: BCochran1981 at January 24, 2013 01:40 PM (da5Wo)

150 Posted by: DiogenesLamp at January 24, 2013 01:34 PM (bb5+k)


Yeah... we really need a venue to change the terms of the debate....

Like Talk about the EMPLOYMENT number, not the UNEMPLOYMENT number...

Remind folks that the Second Amendment says ARMS, not Guns... and an Arm by definition is a Military grade weapon... and the base Military grade weapon today IS the Assault Rifle.

Talk about the Fact that indeed, the Constitution is Not a Suicide pact, because we can AMEND it... but that does not mean the court gets to IGNORE it.

Talk about what a Right is.... ie... it aint a Right if someone else has to PAY for it.

And.... TANSTAAFL.... There Aint No Such Thing as a Free Lunch... Someone, somewhere, has to pay...

Posted by: Romeo13 at January 24, 2013 01:41 PM (lZBBB)

151 A Salt March.

Posted by: Ghandi at January 24, 2013 01:41 PM (lF2rr)

152 Wow. Now that's a family!

Posted by: Jane D'oh at January 24, 2013 01:38 PM (UOM4

gorgeous family.

Posted by: Jumbo Shrimp at January 24, 2013 01:41 PM (DGIjM)

153 Assault Disney Star Wars Pron.

Posted by: sTevo at January 24, 2013 01:41 PM (YMHVx)

154 Al Roker--

Assault Undies.

Posted by: tasker at January 24, 2013 01:41 PM (r2PLg)

155 Next, Hollywood begins lobbying against assault bandwidth. Only pirates need fast Internet connections.

Posted by: The Chap with the App at January 24, 2013 01:41 PM (fscec)

156 A Salt Marsh.

Posted by: A Tern at January 24, 2013 01:42 PM (lF2rr)

157 How about that woman with the DDD boobehs that tried to kill her boyfriend with them?

Assault boobehs!

Posted by: EC at January 24, 2013 01:42 PM (GQ8sn)

158 My Dad has Assault Lick out in the yard to attract deer

Posted by: Buzzsaw90 at January 24, 2013 01:42 PM (SO2Q8)

159 Everything is automatic, which means that nothing is special.

I propose the supermatic gun. The entire magazine clip discharges at once with a trigger pull. And its got all sorts of sharp prongs sticking out of it so it looks wicked cool, like a heavy metal band's logo. We can then use that as a shiny thing to distract liberals, like "Look liberals!!!! A supermatic gun! I can wipe out an entire kindergarten in one second with this!" And then the liberals will go "We have to ban the supermatic gun!" and they'll run off to do that and leave us alone.

Posted by: Mikey NTH - sees the gods of the copybook headings on the horizon at January 24, 2013 01:42 PM (hLRSq)

160 46 Just saw a report on the local news that a guy was arrested for stabbing someone with a broken light bulb. Clearly, we need light bulb control. Oh wait. I mean, more light bulb control.

---

The PC Police were OK with it because it was a CFL bulb. They overlooked the attempted mercury poisoning while they were at it.

Posted by: Brandon In Baton Rouge at January 24, 2013 01:42 PM (e0xKF)

161 please pass a salt and a pepper

Posted by: phoenixgirl waiting for spring training at January 24, 2013 01:42 PM (GVxQo)

162
1. Red States make being a Democrat a felony

Posted by: Vic at January 24, 2013 01:31 PM (53z96)



I urge everyone to stop using the "Red" label to represent conservatives. That was a piece of Media propaganda they stuck on us in the election of 1992. When Reagan was Elected President, the colors of his states were "blue."


The "Red" label needs to be stuck back on the communist Democrats, where it belongs.



Posted by: DiogenesLamp at January 24, 2013 01:43 PM (bb5+k)

163 @149 - Guess I should have read through ALL of the comments, huh? :-)

Posted by: Teresa in Fort Worth, TX at January 24, 2013 01:43 PM (ADnWI)

164 OT: Zuckerberg fundraising for Gov Krispy Kreme

http://politicalticker.blogs.cnn.com/?hpt=hp_t3

Posted by: HoboJerky, now with 45% more DOOM! at January 24, 2013 01:43 PM (xAtAj)

165 I wonder what a couple of neodymium magnets on the meter would do ...

Can you put me some knowledge?

Posted by: Infidel at January 24, 2013 01:43 PM (bzOLE)

166 Kids would be alive today in Newtown if the law we are proposing today were in place on December 14, 2012

Those kids would be alive today if they were home-schooled! (No, I see no point in fighting fair)

Posted by: t-bird at January 24, 2013 01:44 PM (FcR7P)

167 I was making a PBJ and the knife left traces of assault jelly in the peanut butter jar. The founding fathers would've used squeeze containers if they'd had them!

Posted by: Lincolntf at January 24, 2013 01:44 PM (ZshNr)

168
AUTOMATIC

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5b6IHEVvIFI

Posted by: The Go-Go's at January 24, 2013 01:44 PM (lF2rr)

169 Sen Dianne
Feinstein ž@SenFeinstein .@ChrisMurphyCT: Kids would be alive today in Newtown
if the law we are proposing today were in place on December 14, 2012.

---

Oh REALLY bitch...

Care to explain what weapons were used at the shooting, how the shooter got them, and whether they were legally obtained by the shooter?

"Killing his mom and stealing the gun" does NOT mean it was legally obtained.

Posted by: Brandon In Baton Rouge at January 24, 2013 01:44 PM (e0xKF)

170 The proposed ban would put about 15-20 gun manufacturers out of business. This is Obama's "jobs" program.

Posted by: Brian at January 24, 2013 01:45 PM (Hd5n8)

171 Sadly, the term assault politician is not being bandied about, yet we have a majority of them in the senate.

Posted by: Vashta Nerada at January 24, 2013 01:45 PM (DRgeg)

172 By the way;

By the Catholic Churches hand, today God became a prop in a political circus.

They supported a party which pushes unfettered abortion and forces Catholics into to practices which defy their faith. A Party which has sought to destroy religious liberty.

Their moral inconsistency and hypocrisy will destroy the Catholic Church.

Posted by: Marcus at January 24, 2013 01:45 PM (GGCsk)

173 I'm going to glue a lanyard to a butter knife so I can have an assault butter knife.

Posted by: The Chap with the App at January 24, 2013 01:45 PM (fscec)

174 That coffee cup only holds 8 oz. A 20 oz mug would be considered a high capacity coffee mug, with two characteristics of a assault mug.

Posted by: tmitsss at January 24, 2013 01:45 PM (rdav6)

175 174
That coffee cup only holds 8 oz. A 20 oz mug would be considered a high
capacity coffee mug, with two characteristics of a assault mug.


Posted by: tmitsss at January 24, 2013 01:45 PM (rdav6)
You're right it needs to characteristics.

Posted by: HoboJerky, now with 45% more DOOM! at January 24, 2013 01:46 PM (xAtAj)

176 You cons just don't understand how President Lord Obama is trying to save us all from their horrible weapons of mass destruction known as assault weapons!

Posted by: mary Cloggenvagina of Bratinmyburrow, VT at January 24, 2013 01:46 PM (1Y+hH)

177 >>>And there is actually two mistakes there. Unless an arthritic two fingered individual is shooting it, 45 rpm is laughable.

Yeah if you were fast you could get that with a lever action Savage 99

Posted by: MikeTheMoose Offering Moobats Gasoline and Matches at January 24, 2013 01:46 PM (0q2P7)

178 Two arms, from a bear, stuffed and mounted, over the fireplace.

Not infringed!

The founders were really into taxidermy.

Posted by: Truman North, now at 25% battery life at January 24, 2013 01:47 PM (moxEu)

179 Dildos make good projectiles


http://tinyurl.com/9j6nd2d

Posted by: RWC at January 24, 2013 01:47 PM (fWAjv)

180 So, I sent a letter to John Cornyn calling him a cowardly cuckold and a bunch of other stuff for voting on the tax increase.

He, just today, finally emails back a response.

Lot's of BS about how they know the JEF is acting in bad faith, blah, blah, blah.

Then he says. "
It may be necessary to partially shut down the government in order to
secure the long-term fiscal well-being of our country, rather than
follow the disastrous fiscal path of Greece, Italy, and Spain."

Oh, holy hell! Sure, I believe you.

Like Drew has been saying, I can take a bunch of losers running the GOP, what I can't take is a bunch of losers who promise time after time to fight.

Posted by: RoyalOil at January 24, 2013 01:48 PM (imtbm)

181 They don't call us "cons," Mary. They call us "baggerz"

Posted by: Truman North, now at 25% battery life at January 24, 2013 01:48 PM (moxEu)

182 "Killing his mom and stealing the gun" does NOT mean it was legally obtained.

Posted by: Brandon In Baton Rouge at January 24, 2013 01:44 PM (e0xKF)


There should be a law against 'killing his mom.'

Posted by: RWC at January 24, 2013 01:49 PM (fWAjv)

183 Assault lawsuits.

Posted by: AmishDude at January 24, 2013 01:49 PM (xSegX)

184 Posted by: tmitsss at January 24, 2013 01:45 PM (rdav6)

Speaking of scary, politically-incorrect coffee mugs, the USAF has taken PC idiocy to new heights: http://thisainthell.us/blog/?p=33777 .

Posted by: Country Singer at January 24, 2013 01:49 PM (L8r/r)

185 Peanuts can kill!

Assault Peanuts.

Mr. Peanut, you're a dead man..or peanut...or whatever.

Posted by: mon nom est mpfs, cromulcalifragilisticexpialidocious at January 24, 2013 01:49 PM (fYPGk)

186 Assault crossbows

Posted by: Count de Monet at January 24, 2013 01:49 PM (BAS5M)

187 OT but bizarre: All of Manti Te'o 1000+ phone calls with his non-existent gf, 110 of which lasted over an hour and many of which were hundreds of minutes long, were with the dude who allegedly hoaxed him, not a chick.

I'm calling bullshit. Te'o is gay, and did this because NFL players don't tolerate homosexuality, and so he figured it would be highly convenient if (1) it were well known he once had a serious gf, and (2) said gf then went away. That way, he could remain single and not date much and no one would call him on being a pipe smuggler (sorry if anyone finds this term offensive -- the AoSHQ Stlye Guide advises you may substitute ass bandit or turd burglar if preferred).

The simplest explanation is usually the true one, and the simplest explanation here is that he's gay, concocted an ill-advised cover story with the help of this guy in Cali, and then things got out of his control when his fame exploded.

Posted by: Blacksheep at January 24, 2013 01:49 PM (8/DeP)

188 Leaving out the fact that Feinstein has always a had a huge chip on her shoulder because Jesus didn't make her pretty, someone in her party needs to take her aside and tell Mongo that her delusions, if realized, are going to start something that they can't finish.

Foks aren't paying $7k at a gun show for a piece of shit Oly Arms AR from 1990 only to dutifully head down to the local Good Thoughts Office and turn them in.


Posted by: B at January 24, 2013 01:50 PM (twiRb)

189 Their moral inconsistency and hypocrisy will destroy the Catholic Church.
Posted by: Marcus at January 24, 2013 01:45 PM (GGCsk)

As a Catholic in a conservative paradise whose priests are solidly conservative.. the frustration I feel when liberal Catholics are the voice in this country.. ugh..

Posted by: Jumbo Shrimp at January 24, 2013 01:51 PM (DGIjM)

190 By the Catholic Churches hand, today God became a prop in a political circus.

Umm, yeah, about that....

Don't confuse the Catholic Church with people who erroneously identify themselves as "Catholics". They are no more Catholic than the Grand Mufti. Kthxbai.

Posted by: Sean Bannion at January 24, 2013 01:51 PM (RWS3b)

191 I've tricked women online into thinking I was a suitable sex partner, and even had sex with them more than once before they uncovered my clever ruse.

Manti was probably tricked the same way.

Posted by: Truman North, now at 25% battery life at January 24, 2013 01:52 PM (moxEu)

192 How many threads are we going to push this BS wireless meter conspiracy on?

Posted by: Vic at January 24, 2013 01:52 PM (53z96)

193 Islam - Assault Religion?

Posted by: Buzzsaw90 at January 24, 2013 01:52 PM (SO2Q8)

194 That way, he could remain single and not date much and no one would call him on being a pipe smuggler

---

Given that he plays football, I'd figure "getting scouted by the Packers" or "spends some time at tight end" would be appropriate.

Posted by: Brandon In Baton Rouge at January 24, 2013 01:52 PM (e0xKF)

195 We should just ban "Assault Politicians" from office.

An "Assault Politician" shall be defined as a military-style individual who combines more than two of the following features:

• A military-style "crew cut" coif of less than 6 inches in length.
• A firm "assault grip" used during handshakes.
• If a member of the house of representatives, home district is known as a safe-harbor for violent crime. A district shall be "known as a safe-harbor for crime" if it (a) has more than national average incidence of murders, (b) has more than the national average incidence of sexual assaults, (c) contains any "sanctuary city."


What do you mean I targeted Democrats? Do you support assault politicians?

Posted by: Sayyid at January 24, 2013 01:52 PM (pAL+E)

196
What a retard this guy is:
Philadelphia Mayor Michael Nutter, president of the U.S. Conference of
Mayors, labeled the firearms slated for prohibition as "weapons of mass
destruction.

===============
How about you get your failed city under control Mayor Nutty?

Posted by: Jay at January 24, 2013 01:52 PM (3LaGb)

197 So, correct me if I'm wrong, but if the Bill of Rights is now negotiable, then certainly the 17th amendment is also negotiable.

Posted by: Vashta Nerada at January 24, 2013 01:52 PM (DRgeg)

198 Come to think of it, Mrs. North and I have been married for over a decade and she still thinks I'm a suitable sex partner.

Some people never learn!

Posted by: Truman North, now at 25% battery life at January 24, 2013 01:53 PM (moxEu)

199
Here is that curmudgeonly and skeptical link.



http://preview.tinyurl.com/ao8mnso

Posted by: DiogenesLamp at January 24, 2013 01:53 PM (bb5+k)

200 ...so wheres that super eleventy scary lower assault thingamabob with the wings...I mean the ventilator whachtamacallits that keep the hot cawfee from burning your hand so you can automatically throw more hot mugs of cawfee at children; that we banned the other mugs for? Did those evil gun toten assholes hide it this time?

Posted by: government/media expert on scary weaponry stuff at January 24, 2013 01:53 PM (XLuH2)

201 Clearly, this is an assault weapon: (NSFW)

http://tinyurl.com/az9gwmw

What this country needs is commonsense fucksaw control.

Posted by: Empire of Jeff at January 24, 2013 01:54 PM (mOyDx)

202 someone in her party needs to take her aside and tell Mongo that her delusions, if realized, are going to start something that they can't finish.

---

They're dumb enough to think it CAN be finished.

I guess they're ignoring the multi-billion dollar "long-gun registration" clusterfuck north of the border, for instance.

Posted by: Brandon In Baton Rouge at January 24, 2013 01:54 PM (e0xKF)

203 Er...so, the Ruger Mini-14 "tactical" is a banned weapon, but the standard (and identical, in terms of actual firepower) Mini-14 is not. And the Mini-30 is not mentioned at all. I can't think of a more stark display of the sort of idiocy we're dealing with here.

Posted by: Stu-22 at January 24, 2013 01:54 PM (k4bdL)

204 What a retard this guy ishiladelphia Mayor Michael Nutter, president of the U.S. Conference of Mayors, labeled the firearms slated for prohibition as "weapons of mass destruction.
---
If the pieces are cafefully collected and weighed, dead bodies have the same mass as they used to when they were alive.

Posted by: Buzzsaw90 at January 24, 2013 01:54 PM (SO2Q8)

205 mayor Nutter?!! MAYOR NUTTER?

Dear God.. we have to be living in the end times... I mean how much more could God be giving us warning signs?!!

Posted by: Jumbo Shrimp at January 24, 2013 01:54 PM (DGIjM)

206 Time for an Affordable Voting Care Act

Where you need electronic records, intrusive government questioning, and your poll taxes triple each year.

Posted by: Truman North, now at 25% battery life at January 24, 2013 01:55 PM (moxEu)

207 Assault strapon. Make the Obama household register their weapons and submit fingerprints.

Posted by: Stu-22 at January 24, 2013 01:56 PM (k4bdL)

208 And the Mini-30 is not mentioned at all. I can't think of a more stark display of the sort of idiocy we're dealing with here.

Doesn't matter what kind of tard logic they use. All those weapons are umbrella'd under the detachable magazine and/or flash suppressor bullshit.

Posted by: EC at January 24, 2013 01:56 PM (GQ8sn)

209 What this country needs is commonsense fucksaw control.

If fucksaws are outlawed then only outlaws will have fucksaws!!

Posted by: Sean Bannion at January 24, 2013 01:56 PM (RWS3b)

210 205 mayor Nutter?!! MAYOR NUTTER? Dear God.. we have to be living in the end times... I mean how much more could God be giving us warning signs?!! ----
Forget about it Jake, it's Philadelphia

Posted by: Buzzsaw90 at January 24, 2013 01:57 PM (SO2Q8)

211
Note:

Grant Duwe, a criminologist with the Minnesota Department of Corrections who has written a history of mass murders in America, said that while mass shootings rose between the 1960s and the 1990s, they actually dropped in the 2000s. And mass killings actually reached their peak in 1929, according to his data. He estimates that there were 32 in the 1980s, 42 in the 1990s and 26 in the first decade of the century.
Chances of being killed in a mass shooting, he says, are probably no greater than being struck by lightning.

===============
So lets ban 158 different guns!!!

Posted by: Jay at January 24, 2013 01:57 PM (3LaGb)

212 So lets ban 158 different guns!!!


Posted by: Jay at January 24, 2013 01:57 PM (3LaGb)

----
Screw that. Ban the 1920's...... and lightning.

Posted by: fixerupper at January 24, 2013 01:58 PM (nELVU)

213 196

What a retard this guy is:
Philadelphia Mayor Michael Nutter, president of the U.S. Conference of

Mayors, labeled the firearms slated for prohibition as "weapons of mass

destruction.
===============
How about you get your failed city under control Mayor Nutty?

Posted by: Jay at January 24, 2013 01:52 PM (3LaGb)

Meh. He's just compensating for the fact that he looks like Squidward.

Posted by: joncelli at January 24, 2013 01:58 PM (RD7QR)

214 FLOTUS could be considered an assault weapon.

She is an assault on my senses.

Posted by: mon nom est mpfs, cromulcalifragilisticexpialidocious at January 24, 2013 01:59 PM (fYPGk)

215 Ruger's hosting a contact your local Rep about protecting your 2nd amendment rights.

http://www.ruger.com/micros/advocacy/

Posted by: Lando's BFG at January 24, 2013 02:00 PM (hzSVV)

216 Was Old Blue exempted? Ain't nobody taking away my official Red Ryderlever action carbine, 200 shot range model air rifle with an evil black compass in the stock.

Especially you, Black Bart.

Posted by: Ralphie Parker at January 24, 2013 02:01 PM (BAS5M)

217 Don't bring a knife to a coffee fight:

http://tinyurl.com/yjroa8b

Posted by: Kristophr at January 24, 2013 02:02 PM (wYVte)

218 Chances of being killed in a mass shooting, he says, are probably no greater than being struck by lightning.

Well by all means, then, let's all focus on gun control instead of the economy.

Meanwhile, speaking of the economy, the media whores are reporting that weekly job loss figures have plummeted. Not included in the reportage is that three states, including Cali-fucking-fornia, did not not turn in their results due to the King Day shortened work week, and so the Administration lackies in the BLS had to "estimate" them. Significant but unreported upward revisions to follow.

Posted by: Blacksheep at January 24, 2013 02:02 PM (8/DeP)

219 The list -


http://tinyurl.com/aev7uhu


Anna Puma, I see your Storm made the list.

Posted by: RWC at January 24, 2013 02:02 PM (fWAjv)

220 Does Christina Hendricks possess assault breasts, and should such dangerous weapons be banned?

Posted by: OregonMuse at January 24, 2013 02:04 PM (9GaPd)

221 Better list here


http://tinyurl.com/bdk47kw

Posted by: RWC at January 24, 2013 02:04 PM (fWAjv)

222 I like the idea of mocking them. How about taking the speech Obama gave on MLK day and adding a laugh track? Or taking the Hillary testimony from yesterday and adding a laugh track? Make it look like what they were saying could not possibly have been said seriously.

Posted by: Chilin the most at January 24, 2013 02:05 PM (6IV8T)

223 Better list here





http://tinyurl.com/bdk47kw




First thing I'd do is check the bottoms of lakes for these.

Posted by: EC at January 24, 2013 02:06 PM (GQ8sn)

224 222 I like the idea of mocking them. How about taking the speech Obama gave on MLK day and adding a laugh track? Or taking the Hillary testimony from yesterday and adding a laugh track? Make it look like what they were saying could not possibly have been said seriously.

---

Footage of Bumbles O'Fuckstick doing anything set to Yakety Sax.

Posted by: Brandon In Baton Rouge at January 24, 2013 02:06 PM (e0xKF)

225 "It's not automatic. God. They just really do not care to do the most
minimal research into a subject area where they want to enact wholesale
bans, do they?"

Ace - THEY DON'T CARE. This is all simply a means to an end, the end being the disarming of the citizenry. Us railing against them to get their facts straight in the process is superfluous.

Posted by: Hari Seldon, Psychohistorian at January 24, 2013 02:08 PM (RuH4f)

226 FYI, the newest talking point from The Left, re: guns, as opposed to getting killed by someone with a knife, or, say, a school bus:

"Knives are multi-purpose cutting tools.
Even though they can be used that way, they are not, by definition, solely a "weapon."
That's also why a cop can not bust you for having a baseball bat in your vehicle.
It may be used as a skull cracker or dog repellent, but its primary use is sporting equipment."

See? Different.
I know I'm going to be having fun ascribing intent to whatever it is they say or do.

Posted by: Buddy PC at January 24, 2013 02:08 PM (jfUIE)

227 I love they how opened the dog and pony show today with a prayer invocation.

Because the Dems are all about the churchy stuff.

Posted by: B at January 24, 2013 02:08 PM (twiRb)

228 Oh I was so slow with this photoshop I don't know if it is even relevant now.

Posted by: gigg at January 24, 2013 02:10 PM (41VCE)

229 First thing I'd do is check the bottoms of lakes for these.

Posted by: EC at January 24, 2013 02:06 PM (GQ8sn)

To help out the fed I am going to hold an impromptu gun buyback program. 50 dollar gift certificate. No questions asked.

For the children

für den Führer

Posted by: RWC at January 24, 2013 02:10 PM (fWAjv)

230 227 I love they how opened the dog and pony show today with a prayer invocation.

---

What's that about Feinstein and a pony? I thought they didn't permit that outside of Tijuana.

Posted by: Brandon In Baton Rouge at January 24, 2013 02:10 PM (e0xKF)

231 How about you get your failed city under control Mayor Nutty?
___
I call him Mayor Nutless.

Posted by: kallisto at January 24, 2013 02:11 PM (jm/9g)

232 What's that about Feinstein and a pony? I thought they didn't permit that outside of Tijuana.
---
Like dropping a pencil down a well.

Posted by: gigg at January 24, 2013 02:11 PM (41VCE)

233 "-- a 'military-style' pistol grip;"

SEXIST!
Please use a non-gender-specific feature...

Posted by: Watcher at January 24, 2013 02:12 PM (RQfiQ)

234 232 What's that about Feinstein and a pony? I thought they didn't permit that outside of Tijuana.
---
Like dropping a pencil down a well.

---

That's assuming she didn't use a Strap-On Assault Dildo on the poor pony.

Posted by: Brandon In Baton Rouge at January 24, 2013 02:13 PM (e0xKF)

235 but its primary use is sporting equipment."

Posted by: Buddy PC at January 24, 2013 02:08 PM (jfUIE)

My guns have shot far more paper and steel targets than they did a person. It may be used as a skull cracker or dog repellent, but its primary use is target shooting.

Posted by: RWC at January 24, 2013 02:14 PM (fWAjv)

236 I find the shotgun section of the list especially comical, in the contrast of what is included vs. what is not.

But I know, it doesn't much matter. They don't give a damn about their own ignorance and logical inconsistency.

Posted by: Stu-22 at January 24, 2013 02:16 PM (k4bdL)

237 My guns have shot far more paper and steel targets than they did a person. It may be used as a skull cracker or dog repellent, but its primary use is target shooting.

---

To steal an old bumper sticker, Ted Kennedy's Oldsmobile has a bigger body count than my guns.

Posted by: Brandon In Baton Rouge at January 24, 2013 02:16 PM (e0xKF)

238 220 Does Christina Hendricks possess assault breasts, and should such dangerous weapons be banned?
---

They do appear to be high capacity. Clearly an extensive and time consuming inspection is needed to make any conclusive ruling.

Posted by: Buzzsaw90 at January 24, 2013 02:19 PM (SO2Q8)

239 DiogenesLamp --

i prefer to think of it as red-blooded vs. blue-blooded

Posted by: JDP at January 24, 2013 02:21 PM (60GaT)

240
It's not automatic. God. They just really do no care to do the most basic research into a subject area where they want to enact wholesale bans, do they? -ace-
Why won't you just admit that they DO know and are deliberately misleading?
Once is mistake, twice is co-insidence, third time is enemy action.

Posted by: OneEyedJack at January 24, 2013 02:22 PM (ORvjs)

241 And I suspect that what is really up here is to start with proposing bans on the most cosmetically scary guns, so as to be able to shriek at anybody who resists -- "Just look at the scary instruments of death that these crazy people want to be able to own! Crazy!! Scary!!! How can they not go along with our common-sense proposals!!!! Think of the children!!!!!"

Details, facts, logic, constitutional rights...whatever...

Posted by: Stu-22 at January 24, 2013 02:23 PM (k4bdL)

242
The "Elephant Graveyard"becokens to they all...it may be time to trundle off the stage andinto the mist...they fat of their position and flabby of body and so obvious lacking a single tusk of any sharpness...only stubs and drupe of trunk with their age so lined upon their flacid brows and watery eyes so lacking fire and near opaque and blind from battles lost, too many lost because of fear.
This is how they have brought us.........here.
How do we go now.....I ask?
What manner will we strive to claim our country BACK from this distain?
Should we ever trust a PACiderm.....again.......
Or, isthere a better beast to lay our mantle, to rid our country of this ruling
chattle that lives for our destruction....I ask,

because I still love this country.

and wish to.....sleep....A Free man.

Posted by: Richard at January 24, 2013 02:24 PM (oK+Jo)

243 I used to collect articles about "assault weapons", i.e. weapons other than guns that had been used to attack people. One of them was labeled "assault salt", about Mrs. Caroline Lloyd who was convicted of murdering her son by lacing his drinks with table salt.

And then there's the category of "assault docs", doctors who murdered their patients, like Dr. Michael Swango who is believed to have murdered as many as 60 people. Who needs an AR-15?

Posted by: Socratease at January 24, 2013 02:25 PM (3V4IJ)

244 The MSM needs to be trolled with this vid -


http://tinyurl.com/abdauyx

Posted by: RWC at January 24, 2013 02:26 PM (fWAjv)

245 "Why won't you just admit that they DO know and are deliberately misleading?"

Yup. It's not like this is a new subject, the "assault weapon" debate is over two decades old, plenty of time to get it right if they wanted to. The first time around the TV news reports were typically video of machine guns firing with a voice-over by the news person talking about the bill. When it was repeatedly pointed out that this was misleading, they continued to do it and never broadcast a retraction.

It's a deliberate propaganda campaign to mislead the public. When HCI first proposed a campaign on the term, public confusion was one of the advantages that was featured in the proposal, and the press and politicians have followed through on it.

Posted by: Socratease at January 24, 2013 02:32 PM (3V4IJ)

246
Senate Swing Votes Who Are Up For Re-election in 2014 and their phone numbers:



Max Baucus (D-MT) (202) 224-2651


Mark Begich (D-AK) (202) 224-3004


Susan M. Collins (R-ME) (202) 224-2523


Kay R. Hagan (D-NC) (202) 224-6342


Tim Johnson (D-SD) (202) 224-5842


Mary L. Landrieu (D-LA) (202) 224-5824


Mark L. Pryor (D-AR) (202) 224-2353


Mark Udall (D-CO) (202) 224-5941


Tom Udall (D-NM) (202) 224-6621


Mark R. Warner (D-VA) (202) 224-2023

Posted by: edmund at January 24, 2013 02:38 PM (Bjz58)

247 Di-Fi is an Assault Fiscal Pedophile. Come to think of it, so are most of the rest of the Dems in the Senate.....

Posted by: djm1992 at January 24, 2013 02:44 PM (1o4B5)

248 Kathy Griffin has an Assault Face.

Posted by: rockmom at January 24, 2013 02:48 PM (aBlZ1)

249 Bill Clinton has an assault penis.

Posted by: Stu-22 at January 24, 2013 02:50 PM (k4bdL)

250 Laugh, guys...but the endgame is for the left to demilitarize our vernacular the way they did to"shooting clubs" in Ireland and England.....

Posted by: Dathi at January 24, 2013 02:55 PM (wplF6)

251 In ireland, It is now illegal to practice “practical or dynamic shooting,” which is defined as any event that simulates combat. This is where the left in the US is going...

Posted by: Dathi at January 24, 2013 03:06 PM (wplF6)

252 This Tactical Coffee Mug would most likely should be banned. It has multiple mounting points for all kinds of danger:

http://www.thisiswhyimbroke.com/tactical-coffee-mug

Posted by: johnd01 at January 24, 2013 03:14 PM (ukNFU)

253
"It's not automatic. God. They just really do not care to do the most minimal research into a subject area where they want to enact wholesale bans, do they?"

They do this on purpose. It's a lie that they keep repeating and repeating until eventually, everyone "knows" it's the truth. The repubs need a PR campaign to stop this sort of thing, but apparently are too simple-minded to hire someone. Meantime, in 30 days, everyone will "know" the Bushmaster is an automatic weapon and must be banned.

This is how the left works, day in and day out. They create the lie, they create the mis-truth, and then it goes. How about the word "assault rifle"? There are none in the civilian world, but everyone "knows" that they exist - just look at the AK-47 and the AR-15! Good gosh, the AR-15 chambered in 22LR is more dangerous than a GLOCK! OMG! It's a GLOCK!!

If we don't stop them now, it's not going to be possible to stop them later. When you see crap like this, call them out. And DO NOT let any conservative use those phrases that the left repeats!! There ARE NO ASSAULT RIFLES in the civilian world!!

Posted by: Major Noogles at January 24, 2013 03:20 PM (8XDXc)

254 you call that a mug?
http://www.opticsplanet.com/opmod-battle-mug.html

Posted by: RobertM at January 24, 2013 03:22 PM (061WW)

255 Worst of all, it holds 8.

Posted by: Larry Sheldon at January 24, 2013 04:59 PM (qnqTc)






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