Gun Knowledge Banned In Chicago

Really, Chicago Tribune? Really?

Now, everybody knows that's not a "Mount for bayonet, grenade launcher". I know what you're thinking, but it's not a sling swivel either ...




I'm sure you morons and moronettes will put me some more knowledge about what that sinister protrusion might be in the comments.

Posted by: Andy at 05:16 PM



Comments

1 Who cares?

Posted by: © Sponge at January 23, 2013 05:18 PM (xmcEQ)

2 I don't know what it is, but it frightens me.

Posted by: Endeavor to Persevere at January 23, 2013 05:18 PM (zZJJp)

3 Sling mount. What do I win?

Posted by: Alec Leamas at January 23, 2013 05:19 PM (mg08E)

4 It's the fucking Rock & Roll switch.

Posted by: Hotspur at January 23, 2013 05:19 PM (5cgIv)

5 It's the thing in the front that folds down.

Posted by: rickl at January 23, 2013 05:19 PM (zoehZ)

6 How does a bayonet allow the weapon to be used as a spear? Do you throw it?

Posted by: Bomber at January 23, 2013 05:20 PM (84w+B)

7 Is it one of the gun's testicles?

Posted by: Ben at January 23, 2013 05:20 PM (xTHBC)

8
It's not a swivel, but it is for a sling/strap.
Nonetheless, think of the children for Chrissakes.

Posted by: Gunslinger at January 23, 2013 05:20 PM (4S7hN)

9 LOLZ!!!

Posted by: gigg at January 23, 2013 05:20 PM (41VCE)

10 It's the thing that goes up on the shoulder.

Duh.

Posted by: weft cut-loop at January 23, 2013 05:20 PM (xz0nG)

11 Guns have testicles, right?

Posted by: Ben at January 23, 2013 05:20 PM (xTHBC)

12
I know, I know...
(looks around conspiratorially)
It's an ASSAULTWEAPONTHINGY!

WhaddaIwin?

Posted by: Jess1 at January 23, 2013 05:20 PM (lbiWb)

13 'Sinister protrusion'. *snicker*

Posted by: troyriser at January 23, 2013 05:20 PM (vtiE6)

14 It's the kick ass switch, only available when out of bubble gum BTW.

Posted by: gigg at January 23, 2013 05:20 PM (41VCE)

15 Oh, that's clearly a winch from which to hang all black people you collect when you go on your lynching spree.

Posted by: JeremiadBullfrog at January 23, 2013 05:21 PM (Y5I9o)

16
"How does a bayonet allow the weapon to be used as a spear? Do you throw it?"
New meaning to the term "Spearchucker".

Posted by: Jess1 at January 23, 2013 05:21 PM (lbiWb)

17 The children only selective fire position switch.

Posted by: gigg at January 23, 2013 05:21 PM (41VCE)

18 uh it's a sling mount or in the case of Guinevere "rope post."

um....

"increases intimidation factor and can be used to choke a foe"

while technically true is not um....

man I almost feel bad i am making a cameo at the shop.

Posted by: sven10077 at January 23, 2013 05:21 PM (LRFds)

19 It's the attachment point for the Carbon Fiber Digital Tactical combination monopod/GPS/laser/police whistle.

Posted by: Idaho Spudboy at January 23, 2013 05:21 PM (1+CnU)

20 Looks like a mount for a bipod on an M16/AR15

Posted by: Midaz at January 23, 2013 05:21 PM (1E99A)

21 So, that's where I left my military-style thumb drive...

Posted by: t-bird at January 23, 2013 05:22 PM (FcR7P)

22 It's the flint-holder.

Posted by: fb at January 23, 2013 05:22 PM (JVEmw)

23 This is beyond idiotic.

The highlighted swivel isn't even typically regulated for export but now Chicago Tribune wants it banned for domestic transactions?

Posted by: Mauser757 at January 23, 2013 05:22 PM (t6hgj)

24 Actually, it looks like the gun's ignition key.

Posted by: t-bird at January 23, 2013 05:22 PM (FcR7P)

25 6 Bomber,

"pike or polearm" sounded too D+Dy although technically more militarily accurate for what a bayonet is used as.

Posted by: sven10077 at January 23, 2013 05:22 PM (LRFds)

26 Harry Reid uses it to stun young children before he fondles them.

Posted by: Cowboy Bob at January 23, 2013 05:22 PM (V9qC6)

27 ..That's why they call it the "lynch-pin". duh. F'n wingerz...

Posted by: JeremiadBullfrog at January 23, 2013 05:23 PM (Y5I9o)

28 Tactical snack dispenser. ( I ripped that from a cute video a saw yesterday)

Posted by: gigg at January 23, 2013 05:23 PM (41VCE)

29 I don't know what it is, but it looks scary!eleventy!!

Posted by: Jane D'oh at January 23, 2013 05:23 PM (UOM48)

30 Boundless cluelessness.

Posted by: @PurpAv at January 23, 2013 05:23 PM (GlnE7)

31 Figures. A bunch of reichtwing gunnuts would know this stuff. Too bad those riiiightwingers don't know any science...

Posted by: Jess1 at January 23, 2013 05:23 PM (lbiWb)

32 ramrod. What do I win?

Posted by: Flapjackmaka at January 23, 2013 05:23 PM (FKQng)

33
It's not loaded. I looked in the barrel to make sure!

Posted by: Chicago Trib staff at January 23, 2013 05:23 PM (sHqf1)

34 Bayonets? We don't use those anymore. Nor horses.

Posted by: DarrenODaly at January 23, 2013 05:23 PM (EqXTp)

35 It's a tax.

Posted by: Supreme Court Justice John Roberts at January 23, 2013 05:23 PM (xGlYu)

36 Just reading the snippets of text around the picture, I bet that article is even worse than the photo fuckup would suggest.

Posted by: Andy at January 23, 2013 05:23 PM (C/NnJ)

37 I belive this is where the gun volume is turned up to 11.

Posted by: Heralder at January 23, 2013 05:23 PM (+xmn4)

38
It's a Johnson Valve.
It keeps the Remagulator from overheating and fouling the warp core.

Posted by: garrett at January 23, 2013 05:23 PM (2UPrF)

39 In the paragraph just above the front sight post, they also screw up the description of the flash hider .

Posted by: Bomber at January 23, 2013 05:24 PM (84w+B)

40 23 mauser 757,

Just imagine when they try to outlaw my boy Scout training on knots that lets me make a rifle have a sling even without swivels.

Fucking neo-luddites

Posted by: sven10077 at January 23, 2013 05:24 PM (LRFds)

41 I dunno what you call it, but it keeps buzzing and vibrating when I press it against my genitals.

Ill call it... nice.

Posted by: gigg at January 23, 2013 05:24 PM (41VCE)

42 Its a little box with an "x" in a bigger box. Probably dangerous. We should ban it.

Posted by: Jollyroger at January 23, 2013 05:24 PM (t06LC)

43 Hangs head. I dont know what it is.

Posted by: Y-not on the phone at January 23, 2013 05:24 PM (5H6zj)

44 That's where you tie a rope so when you hide it up your butt you can pull it back out using the rope.

Posted by: Does this leg smell gammy? at January 23, 2013 05:24 PM (vndQB)

45 It looks like something Mooch uses on her erotic weekends with Barry.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at January 23, 2013 05:24 PM (UOM48)

46
"I dunno what you call it, but it keeps buzzing and vibrating when I press it against my genitals. "
So it's called a "Clinton"?

Posted by: Jess1 at January 23, 2013 05:25 PM (lbiWb)

47 M1861 Klan Hood Retaining Device

Posted by: Jaws at January 23, 2013 05:25 PM (4I3Uo)

48
It looks just like a telefunken U47!

Posted by: Zombie Frank Zappa at January 23, 2013 05:25 PM (2UPrF)

49 It's the eject button!!

Posted by: Biden at January 23, 2013 05:25 PM (r2PLg)

50 I have never had one of these ugly evil rifles so I just made a WAG.

Posted by: Vic at January 23, 2013 05:25 PM (53z96)

51 Whatever it is, it looks like you can 3-d print it. It's only a matter of time before you can print the whole thing!

Posted by: t-bird at January 23, 2013 05:25 PM (FcR7P)

52 Careful kid! You'll put yer eye out!

Posted by: Sean Bannion at January 23, 2013 05:25 PM (sbV1u)

53 LOL someone better tell them about a muzzle brake to slow the bullets down.

Posted by: gigg at January 23, 2013 05:25 PM (41VCE)

54 That's the fuzzy dice hanger, man.

Posted by: East Chicago Purto Rican gang-banger at January 23, 2013 05:25 PM (sHqf1)

55 It's the gun version of that part on a butt plug that stops your butt from butt-swallowing it.

Posted by: oblig. at January 23, 2013 05:25 PM (cePv8)

56 The flush handle?

Posted by: Biden at January 23, 2013 05:25 PM (r2PLg)

57 It most certainly is not the attachment point for a bipod. Bipods attach via the picatinny rail. The harris bipod will attach to a swivel stud - but I don't think AR's typically have a swivel stud.

Posted by: Mauser757 at January 23, 2013 05:26 PM (t6hgj)

58 It's that thing that tells republican voters in the heartland at what point life begins, cuz that's the important stuff. Speaking of sinister protrusion, what is Karl Rove's sex life like? Is he into wookies or ewoks?

Posted by: Guilty Bystander at January 23, 2013 05:26 PM (nCwW1)

59 or it's a laserbeam

Posted by: Flapjackmaka at January 23, 2013 05:26 PM (FKQng)

60
#48,
nah, it's just glad to see you.

Posted by: Jess1 at January 23, 2013 05:26 PM (lbiWb)

61 It's a Clitoral Stimulator.

Posted by: Chick Selling Dildos on Late Night TV at January 23, 2013 05:26 PM (2UPrF)

62 I 3-d printed all over the place, let me get a towel.

Posted by: gigg at January 23, 2013 05:26 PM (41VCE)

63 Clearly it is the switch pulled by the Mangalores in The Fifth Element, just before they were all assploded.

Posted by: pep at January 23, 2013 05:26 PM (6TB1Z)

64 My research indicates that toggling this switch will cause oxygen masks to drop from the ceiling.

Posted by: Heralder at January 23, 2013 05:27 PM (+xmn4)

65 A miniature bipod

Posted by: RioBravo at January 23, 2013 05:27 PM (eEfYn)

66 It's a a highly technical and stealthy Bottle Opener ...

Posted by: American Dawg at January 23, 2013 05:27 PM (trA4n)

67 I think I saw one on my wedding night.

Posted by: Y-not on the phone at January 23, 2013 05:27 PM (5H6zj)

68 Crap why do you guys put up the fun posts right before I have to go home.

Posted by: gigg at January 23, 2013 05:27 PM (41VCE)

69 I think it's my Depends evacuator!

Posted by: Biden at January 23, 2013 05:27 PM (r2PLg)

70 Im thinking it's the key to turn it on.

Posted by: Red Shirt at January 23, 2013 05:27 PM (FIDMq)

71 It's the far right wing "relevance meter" giving a false positive.

Posted by: Guilty Bystander at January 23, 2013 05:27 PM (nCwW1)

72 Who gives a f*ck?

*Blam!*

Posted by: Chi-town gangbanger at January 23, 2013 05:27 PM (UOM48)

73 Its where you mount your shark...that has the laser...on its head.

Posted by: @PurpAv at January 23, 2013 05:28 PM (GlnE7)

74 Well, crap! It's the mount for the 100 watt plasma grenade launcher.

Everybody knows THAT.

Posted by: John W. at January 23, 2013 05:28 PM (SzYcc)

75 that's where you attach the shoulder thing that goes up


Israeli bandage how-to

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wMRklQkfDLE

Posted by: Jones in CO at January 23, 2013 05:28 PM (8sCoq)

76 Funny, that little stub is not shown on the AR-15 parts manual diagram

http://www.frontsight.com/Images/pages/prep-manual/gun-rifle-ar15-parts-2.jpg

Posted by: Vic at January 23, 2013 05:28 PM (53z96)

77 Sling swivel. Whatever part of the gun you describe, you have to put the words "high capacity, assault ________" in front. For example, "high capacity, assault trigger."

Posted by: eureka! at January 23, 2013 05:28 PM (HPRku)

78 Muskett high capacity clip launcher.

Posted by: mare at January 23, 2013 05:28 PM (DsAD+)

79
this reminds me of that segment on THIS OLD HOUSE when the three KNOWITALLs try to guess what some apparatus is.

Posted by: soothsayerwing plover at January 23, 2013 05:29 PM (FC8Yl)

80 Silent Bob figures if we pull this pin, biggity-bam!, the whole thing collapses like a motherfucker. Then we can go home and bone your mom.

Posted by: Jay at January 23, 2013 05:29 PM (2UPrF)

81 It's my dildo kill switch!

Posted by: Janet Napolitano! at January 23, 2013 05:29 PM (r2PLg)

82 That sir, is the conceal carry combat lug. It is what makes the rifle invisible to all forms of detection and consequently more dangerous than anthrax.

Posted by: Neal Marks, Washington Correspondent at January 23, 2013 05:29 PM (SzAZ7)

83 That injectable foam can come in handy right now filling up those empty heads at the Tribune.

Posted by: YIKES! at January 23, 2013 05:29 PM (mETGQ)

84 that is a Swiss Army Rifle. That is where the corkscrew comes out.

Posted by: Jinx the Cat at January 23, 2013 05:29 PM (l3vZN)

85 Well 10 min before stomping

Posted by: Vic at January 23, 2013 05:29 PM (53z96)

86
It's a wifi hotspot, for streaming innocent targets.

Posted by: Heralder at January 23, 2013 05:29 PM (+xmn4)

87 It's where the price tag is supposed to hang from...

Posted by: American Dawg at January 23, 2013 05:29 PM (trA4n)

88 It's for the shoulder thing that hangs down.

Posted by: Taro Tsujimoto at January 23, 2013 05:29 PM (celt+)

89 How can they really call it out like that and get it totally fucking wrong. These guys are not even trying. Did they not think anyone would see this?

Posted by: gigg at January 23, 2013 05:30 PM (41VCE)

90 It's the part of Boehner's liver that has not suffered cirrhosis.

Posted by: Guilty Bystander at January 23, 2013 05:30 PM (nCwW1)

91 What difference does it make?

Posted by: hillary clinton at January 23, 2013 05:30 PM (8/bPb)

92
Alternate post title:


Cliff Clavans, assemble!

Posted by: soothsayerwing plover at January 23, 2013 05:30 PM (Fely/)

93 M99a1 Psychotropic Prescription Container Opening Assist Mechanism

Posted by: Jaws at January 23, 2013 05:30 PM (4I3Uo)

94 That's where.the guns evil, dark, murdering soul resides. The 'mechromancer' sling point.

Posted by: RWC at January 23, 2013 05:30 PM (OlNzi)

95 73Its where you mount your shark...that has the laser...on its head.
Posted by: @PurpAv at January 23, 2013 05:28 PM (GlnE7I will show you how to MOUNT A SHARK!

Posted by: Dick Cheney, Shark fucker at January 23, 2013 05:30 PM (sHqf1)

96 You can see in the article they are talking about flash suppressors too...accurate I bet

Posted by: Red Shirt at January 23, 2013 05:30 PM (FIDMq)

97 It's the anti-child, kitten, and minority homing device. The NRA forced their gun-manufacturer minions to put that on. Because...evil!

Posted by: Joe Biden at January 23, 2013 05:30 PM (k4bdL)

98 It's a wifi hotspot, for streaming innocent targets.
----
No your wrong, its actually the Bluetooth adapter for hands-free mayhem.

Posted by: gigg at January 23, 2013 05:31 PM (41VCE)

99 >Bipods attach via the picatinny rail.



RAYYYCCISSSS

Posted by: Jones in CO at January 23, 2013 05:31 PM (8sCoq)

100 I mean duh it's fucking blue!!

Posted by: gigg at January 23, 2013 05:31 PM (41VCE)

101 It's the lower cropping mark that shows MSNBC where to edit out the scary black man.

Posted by: Hotspur at January 23, 2013 05:31 PM (5cgIv)

102 forward mount for iPod

Posted by: Jones in CO at January 23, 2013 05:31 PM (8sCoq)

103 It's a snow cone maker

Posted by: Ahnold at January 23, 2013 05:31 PM (NjPTF)

104
Hm, those look like vestigial legs. This must be how the guns travel to their next mass shooting sites.

Posted by: Heralder at January 23, 2013 05:31 PM (+xmn4)

105 I think its a drone attachment, or a hellfire missile.

Posted by: BuckIV at January 23, 2013 05:31 PM (gedHR)

106 100
I mean duh it's fucking blue!!

Posted by: gigg at January 23, 2013 05:31 PM (41VCE)

The UN version?

Posted by: Red Shirt at January 23, 2013 05:31 PM (FIDMq)

107 It's the swastika shaped ninja star launcher mount. Clearly.

Posted by: MikeTheMoose Offering Moobats Gasoline and Matches at January 23, 2013 05:32 PM (0q2P7)

108 Ohh its the cattling gun interface adapter..

http://tiny.cc/a8xdrw

Posted by: gigg at January 23, 2013 05:32 PM (41VCE)

109 I am dying for them to start explaining sex to me....


Posted by: sven10077 at January 23, 2013 05:33 PM (LRFds)

110 "SPEAK IN TO THE MICROPHONE !"

Posted by: Gary Busey in "Point Break" at January 23, 2013 05:33 PM (8sCoq)

111 The UN version?
Posted by: Red Shirt at January 23, 2013 05:31 PM (FIDMq)

----
Its not raping any young girls, so clearly not.

Posted by: gigg at January 23, 2013 05:33 PM (41VCE)

112 That's where the batteries go.

Posted by: Neal Marks, Washington Correspondent at January 23, 2013 05:33 PM (SzAZ7)

113 That's the attachment that allows you to shoot 3000 grenades per second.

Posted by: Gristle Encased Head at January 23, 2013 05:34 PM (+lsX1)

114 It's an IUD for all the ladies signing up for front line combat duty.

Posted by: WahIggle at January 23, 2013 05:34 PM (QXiRr)

115

So they have concern about a grenade launcher or bayonet.
But their OK with a chain saw.

http://tinyurl.com/bayzxob

Posted by: YIKES! at January 23, 2013 05:34 PM (mETGQ)

116 35
It's a tax.


Posted by: Supreme Court Justice John Roberts at January 23, 2013 05:23 PM (xGlYu)
------------------------Thread winner.

Posted by: Taro Tsujimoto at January 23, 2013 05:35 PM (celt+)

117
Actually, I think it's the clutch. If you don't pull this when you want to change high capacity bullet clips, the high velocity drive train won't disengage and you could wreck the assault transmission.

Posted by: Heralder at January 23, 2013 05:35 PM (+xmn4)

118 Tactical tampon dispenser knob for the ladies on the front line.

Posted by: gigg at January 23, 2013 05:35 PM (41VCE)

119 For those of you who are low information gun nuts,there is alsoanother one in the back just like it so I can attach another bayonet to spear people in both directions.

Posted by: Bill R. at January 23, 2013 05:35 PM (QnRSM)

120 I propose a ban on bayonets. We should not allow gun owners to possess kitchen knives and duct tape as this clearly indicates their intent to create a bayonet.

Posted by: Mauser757 at January 23, 2013 05:35 PM (t6hgj)

121 >>>I am dying for them to start explaining sex to me....

[Picture of a woman's nose]
Note the protrusive clitoris, stimulation of which is critical to female orgasm.

Posted by: MikeTheMoose Offering Moobats Gasoline and Matches at January 23, 2013 05:35 PM (0q2P7)

122 Well, I hanged my bayonet from that thing and it just swings back and forth. What am I doing wrong?

Posted by: John at January 23, 2013 05:36 PM (7di34)

123 sok off

Posted by: Jones in CO at January 23, 2013 05:36 PM (8sCoq)

124 I could have sworn I was just posting on a thread about women in combat...

Posted by: Jane D'oh at January 23, 2013 05:36 PM (UOM48)

125 117
Actually, I think it's the clutch. If you don't pull this when you want to change high capacity bullet clips, the high velocity drive train won't disengage and you could wreck the assault transmission.
--------------------------------------------

That's why I prefer a synchronized assault transmission. Much easier to shift, but for mass murdering mayhem in traffic I still prefer an automatic.

Posted by: gigg at January 23, 2013 05:36 PM (41VCE)

126 It's a pfetzer valve.

Prepare it with some 3-in-1 oil and gauze pads so I can fix it.

Posted by: Brandon In Baton Rouge at January 23, 2013 05:36 PM (e0xKF)

127 122 Well, I hanged my bayonet from that thing and it just swings back and forth. What am I doing wrong?
-----------------

You need tactical bayonet viagra, to stiffen it up.

Posted by: gigg at January 23, 2013 05:37 PM (41VCE)

128 Assault bipod mount.
High capacity tactical assault flashlight holder.
Anti-ship torpedo launcher.
Anti-city nuclear assualt warhead holder.
Armor-peircing toothpick holder.

Posted by: fb at January 23, 2013 05:37 PM (JVEmw)

129 Is there any instance of a spree shooter actually using a bayonet on a victim?

Posted by: Serious Cat at January 23, 2013 05:37 PM (UypUQ)

130 It's a tax.


Posted by: Supreme Court Justice John Roberts at January 23, 2013 05:23 PM (xGlYu)






It's a floor wax.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at January 23, 2013 05:37 PM (TIIx5)

131 [Picture of a woman's nose]
Note the protrusive clitoris, stimulation of which is critical to female orgasm.
Posted by: MikeTheMoose Offering Moobats Gasoline and Matches at January 23, 2013 05:35 PM (0q2P7)


What a sinister protrusion.

Posted by: Heralder at January 23, 2013 05:37 PM (+xmn4)

132 That is to prevent hippies from putting flowers into the barrel of the rifle thereby causing peace and love.

Posted by: Mr. Feverhead at January 23, 2013 05:37 PM (SzAZ7)

133 Ain't that where you stick the flower? For protestin?

Posted by: Truman North, now at 25% battery life at January 23, 2013 05:37 PM (I2LwF)

134 It activates the assault weapon's built-in cloaking device.

Posted by: Stu-22 at January 23, 2013 05:37 PM (k4bdL)

135 It's a dessert topping

Posted by: Jones in CO at January 23, 2013 05:37 PM (8sCoq)

136
How does a bayonet allow the weapon to be used as a spear? Do you throw it?

A bayonet mounted on a small carbine like the M-4 looks...ludicrous. I guess it does give you a bit more reach, but still an M1A1 with fixed bayonet it ain't.

Posted by: I R A Darth Aggie ® at January 23, 2013 05:37 PM (1hM1d)

137 It's an attachment that can be used to shoot down police helicopters, like Homer Simpson wanted.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xIpLd0WQKCY

Posted by: Wyatt Earp at January 23, 2013 05:37 PM (NWGUG)

138
[Picture of a woman's nose]
Note the protrusive clitoris, stimulation of which is critical to female orgasm.


I remember the first time I found that pamphlet in Dad's closet.

Posted by: Zombie Ike Turner at January 23, 2013 05:37 PM (DoidY)

139 For those of you who are low information gun nuts,there is alsoanother
one in the back just like it so I can attach another bayonet to spear
people in both directions.


Ha ha you idiot, the one in back is for hooking up the high magazine assault clips.

Posted by: Gristle Encased Head at January 23, 2013 05:38 PM (+lsX1)

140 Chesty Puller wept.

Posted by: Cicero Kid at January 23, 2013 05:38 PM (sHqf1)

141 I think the device is actually a selector switch. When it is off the owner of the firearm is a mild mannered, quiet, loner next door. When it is in the "on" position it turns the owner of the firearm into a maniac hell bent on death and destruction.

Its pretty much the AR-15 G-Spot.

Posted by: Mauser757 at January 23, 2013 05:38 PM (t6hgj)

142 Smart military blog.

Posted by: gigg at January 23, 2013 05:38 PM (41VCE)

143 I can't believe it's not butter!

Posted by: Joe Biden at January 23, 2013 05:38 PM (DoidY)

144 129 Is there any instance of a spree shooter actually using a bayonet on a victim?

---

Yes, the men used them while raping and pillaging in the spirit of Jengis Khan.

Posted by: John F'in Kerry at January 23, 2013 05:38 PM (e0xKF)

145 That's where you put the antimatter cartridge. It's what makes the AR-15 assault weapons so uniquely destructive!

Posted by: Stu-22 at January 23, 2013 05:39 PM (k4bdL)

146 Can opener....soon to be banned.

Posted by: BignJames at January 23, 2013 05:39 PM (HtUkt)

147 That's the long-bow hanger thing.

Posted by: Soona at January 23, 2013 05:39 PM (U9S0G)

148 Flux capacitor for time travelling destruction throughout the ages.

Posted by: gigg at January 23, 2013 05:40 PM (41VCE)

149 Note the protrusive clitoris, stimulation of which is critical to female orgasm.
Posted by: MikeTheMoose Offering Moobats Gasoline and Matches at January 23, 2013 05:35 PM (0q2P7)









Myth. Doesn't exist.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at January 23, 2013 05:40 PM (TIIx5)

150 Btw, if were serious about mocking the Tribune, we'd pitch in for a downtown billboard ad exposing this ignorance.

Posted by: Serious Cat at January 23, 2013 05:40 PM (UypUQ)

151 121 MikeTheMose,

then you jiggle the clitoris like a toilet handle and the girl giggles...


//Ezra "JuiceBox" Klein

Posted by: sven10077 at January 23, 2013 05:40 PM (LRFds)

152 It's a dildo attachment...and I should know!

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at January 23, 2013 05:40 PM (GsoHv)

153 That's where you attach the air freshener.

Posted by: Stu-22 at January 23, 2013 05:40 PM (k4bdL)

154 I don't know what it is, but there's probably porn for it

Posted by: Jones in CO at January 23, 2013 05:40 PM (8sCoq)

155 It's a moonbat indicator. Whenever a dipshit lib sees it they flip out making them easy to spot.

Posted by: Bosk at January 23, 2013 05:40 PM (n2K+4)

156 At this point in time, does it really matter?

Posted by: Hill "Rod" Clintoon at January 23, 2013 05:41 PM (Q7CEv)

157 Where do you put the tube that holds the cop-killer bullets?

Posted by: Gristle Encased Head at January 23, 2013 05:41 PM (+lsX1)

158
No your wrong, its actually the Bluetooth adapter for hands-free mayhem. Posted by: gigg at January 23, 2013 05:31 PM (41VCE)

You rang?

Posted by: MadameMayhem at January 23, 2013 05:41 PM (iRgZG)

159 Tactical explosive crossbow attachment.

Posted by: Stu-22 at January 23, 2013 05:41 PM (k4bdL)

160 That's where I put my assault cigarette.

Posted by: Lurking Canuck at January 23, 2013 05:41 PM (0WLla)

161 It's a retainer clip for a tall kitchen bag for when you stand the weapon up in the corner.



.........why the hell do I always have to explain everything around here?

Posted by: ontherocks at January 23, 2013 05:41 PM (aZ6ew)

162
Posted by: Gristle Encased Head at January 23, 2013 05:38 PM (+lsX1)


That's not what they told me at the DU.

Posted by: Bill R. at January 23, 2013 05:41 PM (QnRSM)

163
Its obviously a combo bottle opener/lighter. It is Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms after all.

Posted by: Guy Mohawk at January 23, 2013 05:41 PM (p/cQy)

164 Explain why we are losing the media war to these people again? I could hold off the entireTribune staff with a slingshot and bag of pinto beans.

Posted by: Cicero Kid at January 23, 2013 05:42 PM (sHqf1)

165 Just held my new laptop bag by its' Mount for Bayonet / Grenade Launcher. I feel empowered. Thanks, Trib!

Posted by: Kevin in ABQ at January 23, 2013 05:42 PM (BvTwT)

166 Anyone with a gun expert brother could tell you that it's a radiator of that phased pulse rifle's cooling system. Duh

Posted by: Hollywood College of Broadcasting at January 23, 2013 05:42 PM (I88Jc)

167 I could have sworn I was just posting on a thread about women in combat...


Posted by: Jane D'oh at January 23, 2013 05:36 PM (UOM4


Yeah, me too. Ace mentioned Aristotle, so I just wanted to point out this:

Aristotle said a "Citizen" was someone born to two Citizens.
"Who is the citizen, and what is the meaning of the term?"



"...Leaving
out of consideration those who have been made citizens, or who have
obtained the name of citizen any other accidental manner, we may say,
first, that a citizen is not a citizen because he lives in a certain
place, for resident aliens and slaves share in the place;"




"...But
the citizen whom we are seeking to define is a citizen in the strictest
sense, against whom no such exception can be taken, and his special
characteristic is that he shares in the administration of justice, and
in offices."




"...a citizen is defined to be one of whom both the parents are citizens;"


http://preview.tinyurl.com/azyyz5m


I figure if we were using Aristotle as an authority, we might as well cover this point as well.













Posted by: DiogenesLamp at January 23, 2013 05:42 PM (bb5+k)

168 >>>How does a bayonet allow the weapon to be used as a spear? Do you throw it?

Yea, I think they are thinking more of the Shaka Zulu non throwing type spears.

Essentially they are saying it allows the weapon to be used in a clinch as a version of the 500,000 year old weapon that mankind invented shortly after clubs and rocks.

Posted by: MikeTheMoose Offering Moobats Gasoline and Matches at January 23, 2013 05:42 PM (0q2P7)

169 Anything that useful looking is bound to be illegal.

PS So this is the new Chicago Tribune, freshly back from bankruptcy.

Posted by: GnuBreed at January 23, 2013 05:42 PM (ccXZP)

170 I could have sworn I was just posting on a thread about women in combat...
Posted by: Jane D'oh at January 23, 2013 05:36 PM (UOM4


---------------------------------------------------


Me too. My profundity is hanging somewhere in the etherworld.

Posted by: Soona at January 23, 2013 05:42 PM (U9S0G)

171 It's a special gun-wattle decoy, for hunting turkeys.

Posted by: Stu-22 at January 23, 2013 05:43 PM (k4bdL)

172 That's where teh combat wimmenz hang their purses from.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at January 23, 2013 05:43 PM (QKKT0)

173 Its a skinning tool to skin your victims after you shoot them.

Posted by: polynikes at January 23, 2013 05:43 PM (m2CN7)

174 Did someone say "nuclear weapon"?

Posted by: HeatherRadish™ #NukeIowaCity at January 23, 2013 05:43 PM (ZKzrr)

175
We need to put restrictions on high capacity bow quivers.
Long, cross and those military style assault compound bows.

Posted by: YIKES! at January 23, 2013 05:43 PM (mETGQ)

176 It's the hook used to attach it to a nursery mobile over an infant's crib.

Posted by: fb at January 23, 2013 05:43 PM (JVEmw)

177 That is where I hang my used condoms.

Posted by: thesgm at January 23, 2013 05:44 PM (crTpS)

178 That is the Lady Gaga bra clasp.

Posted by: Mr. Feverhead at January 23, 2013 05:44 PM (SzAZ7)

179
Valtrex dispenser.

Posted by: Sandra Fluke at January 23, 2013 05:44 PM (DoidY)

180 Essentially they are saying it allows the weapon to be used in a clinch
as a version of the 500,000 year old weapon that mankind invented
shortly after clubs and rocks.


This kind of makes me want to melt down a used toothbrush into a shiv.

Posted by: HeatherRadish™ #NukeIowaCity at January 23, 2013 05:44 PM (ZKzrr)

181 That's where the nerve gas goes, shhhhh

Posted by: Jean at January 23, 2013 05:44 PM (0cUd9)

182 They'll never handle a "Turbo Encabulator"

Posted by: Albert Einstein at January 23, 2013 05:45 PM (e8kgV)

183 M666 NRA Band Subliminal Command Antenna

Posted by: Jaws at January 23, 2013 05:45 PM (4I3Uo)

184 It's the sight you use when shooting someone in the crotch.

Posted by: PoliticsinHD at January 23, 2013 05:45 PM (iuH1t)

185 It's the tether for ships that go under water.

Posted by: Fritz at January 23, 2013 05:45 PM (w3+gB)

186 I didn't think tooth brushes could be melted.

Posted by: RioBravo at January 23, 2013 05:45 PM (eEfYn)

187 6 How does a bayonet allow the weapon to be used as a spear? Do you throw it?
Posted by: Bomber at January 23, 2013 05:20 PM (84w+B)

Who the fuck cares? How many 'mass-bayonetings' has this country been witness to?

It's not exactly like there is a rash of people with bayonets attached to the gun stabbing people. That's why you have a fucking gun in the first place.

Posted by: blindside at January 23, 2013 05:45 PM (x7g7t)

188 See, shit like this is exactly what I'm talking about!

Posted by: Zombie Michael Chrichton at January 23, 2013 05:46 PM (celt+)

189 I think it's a neat little hook you can hang your purse on when you're firing the weapon.

Posted by: Margarita DeVille at January 23, 2013 05:46 PM (C8mVl)

190 But where is the dildo holder?

Posted by: Holger at January 23, 2013 05:46 PM (MHk3m)

191 You put yer WEED in it.

Posted by: Antique SNL joke at January 23, 2013 05:46 PM (ZKzrr)

192 GOOGLE Down for anyone else?

Posted by: jeremiah God Damn Barack Obama the Mother Fucking SCoaMF wright at January 23, 2013 05:46 PM (+OTLF)

193 It's where you stick the bacon, in order to denigrate Muslims and spread Islamophobia. I heard it from CAIR.

Posted by: Stu-22 at January 23, 2013 05:47 PM (k4bdL)

194 I am amazed that normally knowledgable right wing gun owners such as you morons don't know what that valuable item is in the Tribune diagram.

That is the AR-15 Communications Toggle. You press that when you run out of ammunition and the NRA will instantly deliver (or 3D print) a brand new assault rifle...optional howitzer or shoulder mounted rocket launcher if your credit's good.

Posted by: Sgt. York at January 23, 2013 05:47 PM (FqBlL)

195
The front one is for the bayonette. The rear one is for the grenade launcher, you ignorant hicks!

Posted by: Cicero Kid at January 23, 2013 05:47 PM (sHqf1)

196 Clearly that little blue protrusion is a Thread Nuker.

Posted by: Burn the Witch at January 23, 2013 05:47 PM (4c71i)

197 I didn't think tooth brushes could be melted.

The steel ones can't. O_O

Posted by: HeatherRadish™ #NukeIowaCity at January 23, 2013 05:47 PM (ZKzrr)

198 Its where you attach your nunchuks.

Posted by: polynikes at January 23, 2013 05:47 PM (m2CN7)

199 Google is up.

Posted by: RioBravo at January 23, 2013 05:47 PM (eEfYn)

200 ITS ON A GUN SO ITS A BAD BAD THING! HOW MANY BAD THINGS DO YOU NEED TO KILLA DEEEEEEEEEEEEEEER?

Posted by: OK, Thank You, Good Bye at January 23, 2013 05:47 PM (he33V)

201 Patent infringement!

Posted by: Truck Nutz at January 23, 2013 05:48 PM (I88Jc)

202 Duh. Its a buttstop. For the new all inclusive military.

Posted by: Bosk at January 23, 2013 05:48 PM (n2K+4)

203 ribbed, for her pleasure

Posted by: thunderb at January 23, 2013 05:48 PM (Dnbau)

204 Its the catch lever designed to prevent gun owners from shoving their semi automatics all the way up barack obama's ass thus compromising the trigger finger.

Posted by: jeremiah God Damn Barack Obama the Mother Fucking SCoaMF wright at January 23, 2013 05:48 PM (+OTLF)

205 That is the AR-15 Communications Toggle. You press that when you run out of ammunition and the NRA will instantly deliver (or 3D print) a brand new assault rifle...optional howitzer or shoulder mounted rocket launcher if your credit's good.
Posted by: Sgt. York at January 23, 2013 05:47 PM (FqBlL)

You forgot the batallion of crazed NRA members that come with all that.

Sheesh.

Posted by: blindside at January 23, 2013 05:48 PM (x7g7t)

206 190 But where is the dildo holder?

---

It's attached to the adjustable drill from Craftsman, at Sears.

The battery packs for this are rechargeable from the wall and last longer than your average AA batteries.

Posted by: Bob Vila at January 23, 2013 05:48 PM (e0xKF)

207 It's where I hang my leetle fren'. So say 'hello' to eet!

Posted by: Tony Montana at January 23, 2013 05:48 PM (DLu2s)

208 You're all idiots. It's purple.
Can't you see it's Tinky Wink's Antenna?
http://www.itusozluk.com/image/tinky-winky_12839.jpg

Posted by: Clutch Cargo at January 23, 2013 05:48 PM (Qxdfp)

209 but what about the antigravic marzel vanes ?

Posted by: Albert Einstein at January 23, 2013 05:48 PM (e8kgV)

210
The children only selective fire position switch.

Lulz -- I'd call that the thread winner.

But fuzzy dice hanger comment is pretty good, too.

Posted by: Ed Anger at January 23, 2013 05:48 PM (tOkJB)

211 Why is something so ugly like that waterboarding clip attached to such a beautiful and graceful sculpture?

Posted by: Soona at January 23, 2013 05:48 PM (U9S0G)

212 the mons of venus

Posted by: thunderb at January 23, 2013 05:49 PM (Dnbau)

213 OT: Apple down over 50 pts after-hours. Earnings.

Posted by: t-bird at January 23, 2013 05:49 PM (FcR7P)

214 Wait, perfect gun control measure. I am surprised they didn't think of this.

Ban scopes and sights. Bad guys can't kill with guns if they can't aim!!!!

Posted by: Holger at January 23, 2013 05:49 PM (MHk3m)

215 That is the gun show loophole.

Posted by: Mr. Feverhead at January 23, 2013 05:50 PM (SzAZ7)

216 Isn't that thing supposed to be sharpened and used to flense freshly killed hobo?

Posted by: Kristophr at January 23, 2013 05:50 PM (wYVte)

217 O, FFS - they also carry on the silly lie about the flash hider. It shields the shooter from the flash, doesn't do dick all about hiding the position of the shooter. Couldn't they find one veteran in Chicago to vet this crap, even an Air Force accountant has had at least a day on the range,

If they represent the opposition in the coming revolution, maybe we don't need all these guns.

Posted by: Jean at January 23, 2013 05:50 PM (Y8t25)

218 It does sort of look like the ignition key on a lawnmower though. Maybe that's an assault mower!

Posted by: Margarita DeVille at January 23, 2013 05:50 PM (C8mVl)

219 You know, Steve, bayonet spelled backward is tenobya, tenoy, botany!...Sandberg swings and misses, and this ball game is over.

Posted by: Big Fat Meanie at January 23, 2013 05:50 PM (Ec6wH)

220 the button you push to make it self-cleaning

Posted by: thunderb at January 23, 2013 05:50 PM (Dnbau)

221 The front one is for the bayonette. The rear one is for the grenade launcher, you ignorant hicks!

Wait. So what does "liquor in front, poker in the rear" refer to?

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at January 23, 2013 05:50 PM (QKKT0)

222 Huh- Ace forced a Salon correction?


On Jan. 22, Salon republished an article from one of our content partners, the Weeklings, that was sympathetic to unfounded 9/11 conspiracies. The article slipped through our usual review process, and was clearly not up to our standards; we removed it as soon as it was brought to our attention by readers. Salon has a long history of debunking fringe conspiracists — around Sept. 11, and more recently, Sandy Hook — and are proud of those efforts. We regret this oversight.

Posted by: Jones in CO at January 23, 2013 05:50 PM (8sCoq)

223 It's the Media Idiot Detector, and it's working just as designed!

Posted by: Eddy 'Skunky' McSkunkerson, Chief Skunk at the DARPA Skunkworks at January 23, 2013 05:50 PM (DLu2s)

224 It's a bullet amplifier. This is what makes .223 too powerful for civilian ownership in AR-15s when it's too weak for deer hunting in other rifles.

Posted by: General Stanley McChrystal at January 23, 2013 05:50 PM (celt+)

225 All this is very instructive, but shouldn't the Tribune be telling us where the assault bullet leaves the scary thing?

Posted by: jwb7605 (Let It Burn) at January 23, 2013 05:51 PM (Qxe/p)

226 what happened to the last post?

Posted by: Eaton Cox at January 23, 2013 05:51 PM (q177U)

227 ... and the non-reversible differential tremie pipes ?

Posted by: Albert Einstein at January 23, 2013 05:51 PM (e8kgV)

228 I just wish they had a manual for all the blog posters that told them how to post pics and videos and maps and stuff in such a was as to not turn the whole shebang into a tiny print thread.

Posted by: teej at January 23, 2013 05:51 PM (9aeie)

229 Key-ring attachment. (tactical, assault)

Posted by: fb at January 23, 2013 05:52 PM (JVEmw)

230 That's the bottle opener.

Lord only knows how many innocent children it helped murder back when sugary soda drinks came in glass bottles.

Posted by: Mayor Bloomberg at January 23, 2013 05:52 PM (SY2Kh)

231 It's the Assault Flange.

Posted by: The Mega Independent at January 23, 2013 05:52 PM (46pA5)

232 The published correction is worth a few laughs for the obvious embarrassment

http://tinyurl.com/an94kub

Posted by: tmitsss at January 23, 2013 05:52 PM (rdav6)

233 That little protrusion turn blue when unicorns are present.

Posted by: Hepcat at January 23, 2013 05:52 PM (xpzid)

234 215
That is the gun show loophole.
----------------

ISWYDT. Well played, sir.

Posted by: Taro Tsujimoto at January 23, 2013 05:53 PM (celt+)

235 I can't believe I'm saying this, but Apple could be a good buy.

Posted by: Big Fat Meanie at January 23, 2013 05:53 PM (Ec6wH)

236 The post about women serving in combat, what happened?

Posted by: Eaton Cox at January 23, 2013 05:53 PM (q177U)

237 It's to hold the rabbit's foot. Or the Foot of Allah, as the muzzies like to call it.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at January 23, 2013 05:53 PM (QKKT0)

238
OT: Apple down over 50 pts after-hours. Earnings.

Posted by: t-bird at January 23, 2013 05:49 PM (FcR7P)

Oh that's to bad.Mwahahahahaha

Posted by: Samsung at January 23, 2013 05:53 PM (mETGQ)

239 Its an everlasting gobstopper bullet dispenser mechanism. Used mostly in Hollywood for scenes where its necessary to fire over 500 rounds without reloading.

Posted by: polynikes at January 23, 2013 05:53 PM (m2CN7)

240 Its a vote suppressor.

Posted by: a feral duck at January 23, 2013 05:54 PM (H/RVh)

241 its the link to your I Pod so you can play movies or music while you kill

Posted by: thunderb at January 23, 2013 05:54 PM (Dnbau)

242 It's a candy dispenser.
For baiting the field.

Posted by: billy at January 23, 2013 05:54 PM (JYZFA)

243 You know that tag on your mattress? The one that threatens you with half-hanging, drawing, and quartering if you remove it?

Yeah, it's nothing like that.

Posted by: Brother Cavil, Meadow Party 2016 at January 23, 2013 05:54 PM (GBXon)

244 its the little man in the boat

Posted by: thunderb at January 23, 2013 05:55 PM (Dnbau)

245 s there any instance of a spree shooter actually using a bayonet on a victim?


Posted by: Serious Cat at January 23, 2013 05:37 PM (UypUQ)

1989.

Posted by: Washington Nearsider at January 23, 2013 05:55 PM (DZqR0)

246 It's where you attach the beer cozy so you don't have to set your Bud Light down and potentially ruin a good boozeNboom session by kicking it over.

Posted by: MikeTheMoose Offering Moobats Gasoline and Matches at January 23, 2013 05:55 PM (0q2P7)

247 it can melt steel

Posted by: Jones in CO at January 23, 2013 05:55 PM (8sCoq)

248 The post about women serving in combat, what happened?
Posted by: Eaton Cox at January 23, 2013 05:53 PM (q177U)


----------------------------------------------


It was wiped out by the Ar115 battle protrusion.

Posted by: Soona at January 23, 2013 05:55 PM (U9S0G)

249 It's a hanging Chad ?

Posted by: DrDrill at January 23, 2013 05:55 PM (sOFZs)

250 That the working-class oppressor.

Posted by: Grimaldi at January 23, 2013 05:55 PM (mmiVT)

251 Taro Tsujimoto, get your slanty eyed ass back out on the ice, there's a new season underway...

Posted by: Browndog at January 23, 2013 05:56 PM (ccfl2)

252 It's a radioactive depleted uranium bomb.

Posted by: Taro Tsujimoto at January 23, 2013 05:56 PM (celt+)

253 Or maybe the "War on Women" attachment.

Posted by: Grimaldi at January 23, 2013 05:56 PM (mmiVT)

254 I hang a chain with ears off that so.....

Posted by: Woody Herman at January 23, 2013 05:56 PM (RZvso)

255 I can't believe I'm saying this, but Apple could be a good buy.

Posted by: Big Fat Meanie


Headline stocks are almost always a bad buy if you aren't an insider.

They get punished for minor misses, like this one. And they don't rise as much for hitting estimates.

Posted by: weft cut-loop at January 23, 2013 05:56 PM (xz0nG)

256 iPod holder to rock out while you are mowing down zombie hordes.

Posted by: Drunk Nutty Uncle Joe at January 23, 2013 05:56 PM (m0le6)

257 215That is the gun show loophole. Posted by: Mr. Feverhead at January 23, 2013 05:50 PM (SzAZ7)THREADWINNER

Posted by: Jaws at January 23, 2013 05:56 PM (4I3Uo)

258 #whatdifferencedoesitmake

Posted by: phoenixgirl waiting for spring training at January 23, 2013 05:56 PM (GVxQo)

259 It says "This end toward enemy" on the front of it.

Posted by: Mr. Feverhead at January 23, 2013 05:56 PM (SzAZ7)

260 215 "That is the gun show loophole"

ha!

Posted by: Pug Mahon at January 23, 2013 05:56 PM (K+mtQ)

261 Another brilliant Drudgetaposition:



JARRETT: 'If There's One Thing We Should All Agree On, It's Protecting Women From Violence'...

WOMEN TO COMBAT FRONTLINES

Posted by: Jones in CO at January 23, 2013 05:57 PM (8sCoq)

262 251
Taro Tsujimoto, get your slanty eyed ass back out on the ice, there's a new season underway...

---------------

The Tokyo Katanas still need me!

Posted by: Taro Tsujimoto at January 23, 2013 05:57 PM (celt+)

263 238
OT: Apple down over 50 pts after-hours. Earnings.

Posted by: t-bird at January 23, 2013 05:49 PM (FcR7P)

Oh that's to bad.Mwahahahahaha

---

Al Gore strikes again...

He cashed in his stock options using the money he got from the CurrenTV sale and now the company starts tanking.

Posted by: Brandon In Baton Rouge at January 23, 2013 05:57 PM (e0xKF)

264 Its the last thing a redneck ever holds ontowhile swinging his gun around his head and yelling to his buddies to "WATCH THIS!!'

Posted by: polynikes at January 23, 2013 05:57 PM (m2CN7)

265

Looks like a sight to me.
If you want fire it upside down.

Posted by: YIKES! at January 23, 2013 05:57 PM (mETGQ)

266 "122 Well, I hanged my bayonet from that thing and it just swings back and forth. What am I doing wrong"

Does it do it in sort of a swiveling motion - mine too! WTF?

Posted by: Rob in Katy at January 23, 2013 05:58 PM (gdGJ1)

267
Turns on the thermal "Predator" vision with cool sounds effect.

Posted by: Drunk Nutty Uncle Joe at January 23, 2013 05:58 PM (m0le6)

268 If you have a spear you can use the same type of mount to attach an AR to it.

Posted by: Gristle Encased Head at January 23, 2013 05:58 PM (+lsX1)

269 OT: Apple down over 50 pts after-hours. Earnings.



Posted by: t-bird at January 23, 2013 05:49 PM (FcR7P)



The smart money is moving to Facebook.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at January 23, 2013 05:58 PM (QKKT0)

270 This year's Puppy Bowl will feature hedgehogs

Posted by: Jones in CO at January 23, 2013 05:58 PM (8sCoq)

271 That's the switch where you can change from the less lethal .223 shell to the DEADLY 5.56 military bullet thats shoots at over 100 miles per hour

Posted by: Emily Litella at January 23, 2013 05:59 PM (ygAxO)

272 Forward sling loop... next question please.

Posted by: CPT. Charles at January 23, 2013 05:59 PM (1GunI)

273 It keeps you from shooting your eye out.

Posted by: Big Fat Meanie at January 23, 2013 06:00 PM (Ec6wH)

274 Murder switch?
Kill switch?
Battle Override?

Posted by: Fritz at January 23, 2013 06:00 PM (w3+gB)

275 it's the thing that enables the rifle to shoot multiple bullets at the same time

Posted by: Jones in CO at January 23, 2013 06:00 PM (8sCoq)

276 Son of a bitch!

Posted by: Big Fat Meanie at January 23, 2013 06:00 PM (Ec6wH)

277 265 ---"Looks like a sight to me.
If you want fire it upside down."
Posted by: YIKES! at January 23, 2013 05:57 PM (mETGQ)

Yes! In case you want to shoot something in Australia or Tierra del Fuego!

Posted by: Margarita DeVille at January 23, 2013 06:00 PM (C8mVl)

278
6 How does a bayonet allow the weapon to be used as a spear? Do you throw it?
Posted by: Bomber at January 23, 2013 05:20 PM (84w+B


Spear are used for thrusting, unless designated otherwise, javelins are for throwing.
As a matter of fact, "spear" is a generic term for a simpledouble-edged bladeon a stick, whether used for thrusting, throwing, or (rarely) cutting. I have seen the term "lance" used instead, mostly by translations of non-English works, but in English the term is usually reserved for a horseman's thrusting weapon.
No, Dungeons and Dragons terminology is not considered valid by people who study old weapons and armor - based on some very bad info and has little relationship to original terminology.

Posted by: Grey Fox at January 23, 2013 06:01 PM (hJesl)

279 You're on your own with this one.

Posted by: Soledad O'Brien's Earpiece at January 23, 2013 06:01 PM (8/bPb)

280 I don't know what it is.
But nobody needs one.

Posted by: sonus at January 23, 2013 06:01 PM (yAlrb)

281 Turns on "God mode"

Posted by: Drunk Nutty Uncle Joe at January 23, 2013 06:01 PM (m0le6)

282 shooty + stabby = shtooby

Posted by: Jones in CO at January 23, 2013 06:02 PM (8sCoq)

283 It's the thing on the shoulder that goes up.

Posted by: Adam at January 23, 2013 06:02 PM (IrbU4)

284 Crossbow adapter swivel/lug.

Posted by: Paladin at January 23, 2013 06:02 PM (y53d1)

285 Workplace management enabler.

Posted by: Dr. Amy Bishop at January 23, 2013 06:03 PM (8/bPb)

286 I didn't know grenades were banned. I helped an old friend of mine load and pin grenades every week when I lived out on the res. he has thousands. He said he'd let me help throw when the shit flies. Hey let's all go to Rahmbos house and play hot potato?!?!

Posted by: Woody Herman at January 23, 2013 06:04 PM (RZvso)

287 The Tokyo Katanas still need me!

Taro,

Yes we do, we surely do...

Posted by: Punch at January 23, 2013 06:05 PM (ccfl2)

288 I always heard the Nahua weapon "atlatl" translated as "spear-thrower". "Spear" and "javelin" have been synonymous for some time. (Maybe "spear" has a more makeshift and lower-class connotation. It sounds more Saxon, "javelin" more French.)

As for spears that are used just for stabbing, that's generally considered a "pike".

Posted by: boulder hobo at January 23, 2013 06:06 PM (QTHTd)

289 It's the the illudium Q-36 explosive space modulator..

Posted by: Bosk at January 23, 2013 06:08 PM (n2K+4)

290 As described by the Founding Fathers, this attachment is where you pour the black powder into your assault rifle.

Posted by: Fritz at January 23, 2013 06:09 PM (w3+gB)

291
It's the device that tells time. Oh wait, that goes in the other end.

Never mind.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, who did not vote for this shit. at January 23, 2013 06:09 PM (yiIja)

292 It's the rifles superfluous third nipple.

Posted by: Jane Cobb at January 23, 2013 06:09 PM (h6XiD)

293 Since that's the grenade hooker-upper, the bayonet must go into the round thingy on the end. Right?
Guns are so hard, I'm going to cry.

Posted by: Barbie at January 23, 2013 06:09 PM (jSwNt)

294 I call it "Vera's Sweet Spot."

Posted by: Jane Cobb at January 23, 2013 06:10 PM (h6XiD)

295 Everyone knows it's the Frammitz Adaptor!

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, who did not vote for this shit. at January 23, 2013 06:11 PM (yiIja)

296 EBT card reader for compliance with new "pay as you shoot" ammunition laws.

Posted by: Pvt. Hudson at January 23, 2013 06:11 PM (y9MdB)

297 That's the French model, it's a surrender flag mount.

Posted by: Cato at January 23, 2013 06:12 PM (snD3c)

298 That's where you put the spare Barrel Bearings.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, who did not vote for this shit. at January 23, 2013 06:13 PM (yiIja)

299 IT'S RACISM!

Posted by: LickyLicky at January 23, 2013 06:15 PM (mjNWF)

300 what the fuck are you talking about? Its not for a bayonet. We dont use bayonets anymore, or horses for that matter. Times have changed. President Know it all Corpse man told me so. And HE NEVER LIES!

HE

NEVER

LIES

EXCLAMATION POINT

Posted by: jeremiah God Damn Barack Obama the Mother Fucking SCoaMF wright at January 23, 2013 06:16 PM (+OTLF)

301 It's the deer hook.
.....otherwise known as round #31

Posted by: ontherocks at January 23, 2013 06:17 PM (aZ6ew)

302 Work has been proceeding in order to bring perfection to the crudely conceived idea of a machine that would not only supply inverse reactive current for use in unilateral phase detractors, but would also be capable of automatically synchronizing cardinal grammeters. Such a machine is the "Turbo-Encabulator."

The original machine had a base-plate of prefabulated amulite, surmounted by a malleable logarithmic casing in such a way that the two spurving bearings were in a direct line with the pentametric fan. The main winding was of the normal lotus-o-delta type placed in panendermic semi-boloid slots in the stator, every seventh conductor being connected by a nonreversible trem'e pipe to the differential girdlespring on the 'up' end of the grammeters.

Forty-one manestically spaced grouting brushes were arranged to feed into the rotor slipstream a mixture of high S-value phenylhydrobenzamine and 5% reminative tetryliodohexamine. Both of these liquids have specific pericosities given by P = 2.5C.n^6-7 where n is the diathetical evolute of retrograde temperature phase disposition and C is Cholmondeley's annular grillage coefficient. Initially, n was measured with the aid of a metapolar refractive pilfrometer, but up to the present date nothing has been found to equal the transcendental hopper dadoscope. Undoubtedly, the turbo-encabulator has now reached a very high level of technical development. It has been successfully used for operating nofer trunnions. In addition, whenever a barescent skor motion is required, it may be employed in conjunction with a drawn reciprocating dingle arm to reduce sinusoidal depleneration.

Posted by: Albert Einstein at January 23, 2013 06:17 PM (e8kgV)

303 Ban hammer. You were doing science, in clear contravention to the Moron rules and regs.

We hate science here. Duh.

Posted by: Washington Nearsider at January 23, 2013 06:19 PM (DZqR0)

304 Everyone knows that it is a old fashion Coke bottle opener. Those were common back in the 60's and 70's and the thing just hasn't gone away.

Posted by: rich at January 23, 2013 06:21 PM (uGiHE)

305 @303: Quite obvious, except you left out the part where the induction manifold can cause a deconstructive redistribution if you misalign the dorsal fram.

Posted by: Cato at January 23, 2013 06:22 PM (snD3c)

306 as Sol said: "It's a fucking anti-aircraft gun, Vincent."

Posted by: snoop dogg's index finger at January 23, 2013 06:23 PM (OqeDl)

307
Ya'll are killing me- it's the standard Rules of Engagement Button - you have to press it and obama tells you if it's ok to kill the enemy - assuming you are still alive.

Posted by: ladyliberty at January 23, 2013 06:23 PM (h5Osf)

308 307

Ya'll are killing me- it's the standard Rules of Engagement Button -
you have to press it and obama tells you if it's ok to kill the enemy -
assuming you are still alive.


Posted by: ladyliberty at January 23, 2013 06:23 PM (h5Osf)
Don't press it till it lines up with the blue of their lips...

Posted by: jeremiah God Damn Barack Obama the Mother Fucking SCoaMF wright at January 23, 2013 06:25 PM (+OTLF)

309 Tech support contact fob. To unjam your weapon, press one, followed by a star, an astrological sign, an alchemical symbol, a gang sign, an extinct bird, and a heiroglyph.

Posted by: Cato at January 23, 2013 06:26 PM (snD3c)

310 Wanna see my ramrod?

Posted by: TANSTAAFL at January 23, 2013 06:28 PM (52QEX)

311 How do those idiot reporters still have jobs?

Posted by: Iblis at January 23, 2013 06:29 PM (9221z)

312 It's a pudding dispenser

Posted by: swamper at January 23, 2013 06:29 PM (l+Nl1)

313 It's where they mount the scalps.

Posted by: Foghorn Leghorn at January 23, 2013 06:33 PM (fLf1K)

314 As for spears that are used just for stabbing, that's generally considered a "pike".
Posted by: boulder hobo at January 23, 2013 06:06 PM (QTHTd
The pike always is a very long two-handed weapon, usually in the 15-20' range. Used quite differently from a spear, and the heads are made smaller as a general rule. A very specific term, actually.

Posted by: Grey Fox at January 23, 2013 06:33 PM (4vofC)

315 Aaaaa..that was good.
Was it good for you too?

Posted by: Paladin at January 23, 2013 06:34 PM (y53d1)

316 That's the Bible mount. Everyone knows that.

Posted by: forest at January 23, 2013 06:37 PM (L7wZc)

317 Its the UB1087Stewardess Signalling Incapacitator for when both Red Bull supplies and high capacity margarita mixer gets low.

Posted by: Jethro Bean at January 23, 2013 06:44 PM (/RTvI)

318 I'm surprised they didn't say it's used to kill children.

Posted by: smileynh at January 23, 2013 06:46 PM (hlZx/)

319 ABC chewing gum. Where else would you put it?

Posted by: Frankly at January 23, 2013 06:53 PM (JtTR7)

320
"javelins are for throwing"

Bullsheite. I know, I used to drive one.

Posted by: Jess1 at January 23, 2013 06:55 PM (lbiWb)

321 It's the clip for attaching the booster seat to the seatbelt.

Posted by: Steve O at January 23, 2013 06:55 PM (Orxpy)

322 It's the blue stabilizer button. (Very, very, obscure Dr. Who reference.)

Posted by: Steve O at January 23, 2013 06:57 PM (Orxpy)

323 Actually the full definition is "the original permanently-attached M16/AR sling mount that is slightly too thick for most modern sling clips and thus is vaguely annoying."

Obviously you can add a ring to it, but that's silly.

Honestly, the MFM sock-muppets would call it a bunny rabbit if it would serve their masters.

Posted by: Merovign, Dark Lord of the Sith at January 23, 2013 06:59 PM (bxiXv)

324 A bayonet doesn't change the function of the rifle? It sure does if you are out of ammo.

Posted by: yobobbyb at January 23, 2013 07:01 PM (VzkNh)

325 Its the philosopher kingpin.
In newer weapons this device also provides a high capacity Ipod dock and a beer tap capable of pouring 100 rounds.
FYI you can get a free magazine clip/cleavage guage from Cosmo if you subscribe before the end of the month.

Posted by: whenuboilitdown at January 23, 2013 07:02 PM (H44Q3)

326 I love how the idiot Trib editor said they consulted with "gun experts" and still got it wrong. They're about as expert on guns as the Trib is on reporting. Someone was shot at 1pm near Chicago Ave. today. When the shootings happen in broad daylight I'd say things are beyond out of control

Posted by: TheQuietMan at January 23, 2013 07:02 PM (gDMm/)

327 Yeah, the pike / sarissa was an elongated version of the plain ol' thrusting-spear, the Roman hasta.

I was looking for something like the hasta in English and "pike" is best I could do.

Posted by: boulder hobo at January 23, 2013 07:07 PM (QTHTd)

328 I'm pretty sure that's where you mount your canister of mustard gas.

Posted by: slug at January 23, 2013 07:10 PM (vVv3V)

329 I'm on athe commuter train LMAO. Everyone seated near me thinks I'm insane. Please keep it up, 'rons!

Posted by: Rockwell Torrey at January 23, 2013 07:11 PM (VRCBg)

330 I'm still learning about our Christmas Bushmaster, the one I bought for my husband. This thread has been very helpful--there is nothing like hearing from the experts. We are new to AR-15s, and we can't wait to put the knowledge from this thread to good use!

Thanks, horde!!!

Posted by: stace, still hasn't fired the Christmas Bushmaster at January 23, 2013 07:11 PM (m+UHL)

331 ...after much serious consideraton of this serious question (not like some people here who shall go nameless hwo a just soooo cavalier about it) because it's about a GUN for fucks sake which we all should take seriously, because it's a gun is really really fo' reals seriosofor fucks sake; Ihave decided that it is a place to stick your wad of already chewed gum, because asany real hunterknows you have to take the gum out of your mouth real slow like and stick it on the wad holder before you sight in on some stinkin raghead muzzies.

Posted by: Guido at January 23, 2013 07:11 PM (XLuH2)

332 Flux capacitor.

Posted by: D Stewart at January 23, 2013 07:13 PM (fIkHQ)

333 The Harry Carey reference @219 is absolute gold. I'm giggling so much the lady next to me just got up and ran to the back of the compartment.

Posted by: Rockwell Torrey at January 23, 2013 07:16 PM (VRCBg)

Posted by: whenuboilitdown at January 23, 2013 07:17 PM (H44Q3)

335 Why does it matter?!?!?

Posted by: Steff McKee at January 23, 2013 07:24 PM (ayotl)

336 One word..... "COCK SLING!!!!!" I can put I Ina sentance. The cocksling was the only protection I had for my grenade launcher. And when I say Granade launcher I meant jizz..

Posted by: Sam at January 23, 2013 07:25 PM (g3Mw9)

337 130 It's a floor wax.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at January 23, 2013 05:37 PM (TIIx5)

It's a dessert topping.

Posted by: Lessons from the Ceramic Throne at January 23, 2013 07:36 PM (ze9yk)

338 It's a comments thingy.

Posted by: Lady in Black at January 23, 2013 07:42 PM (ATdet)

339 It's a Bitter Clinger Subliminal Message Device. It's function is to whisper Bible verses in the ear of the shooter after firing off a 60 round clip while the gun is in assault weapon mode.

Posted by: Peregrine Took, Hobbit S.O.B. at January 23, 2013 07:45 PM (erlzv)

340 It's a trap

Posted by: Admiral Ackbar at January 23, 2013 07:46 PM (ze9yk)

341 I don't know what it's called, I only know the sound it makes when it massacres a school full of innocent children.

Posted by: Four Leaf at January 23, 2013 07:48 PM (1FLBb)

342 It's a Personal Detachable Vibrating Pleasure Device for the Rifle itself.....you know.....["when it's lonely"]

Posted by: Walter Sobchak at January 23, 2013 08:08 PM (uis79)

343 The bayonet lug is right in front of that sling swivel.

Why do I need a bayonet?

Motivational speaking, motherfucker.

Motivational Speaking.


Posted by: Gromulin at January 23, 2013 08:25 PM (7Zrx4)

344 I could hold off the entire Tribune staff with a McDONALDS STRAW and bag of pinto beans.

Posted by: cicero skip at January 23, 2013 08:48 PM (iP7nX)

345 by the way, I haven't laughed this hard in weeks the comments are off the wall

Posted by: cicero skip at January 23, 2013 08:50 PM (iP7nX)

346 302 - Hey you Einstein. Thanks for sharing with the class. Now zip it....learned that from union teacher years ago. Seriously can I use that on the radio when a true turd calls to ask a stupid question. Brilliant, simply brilliant!

Posted by: Woody Herman at January 23, 2013 08:58 PM (RZvso)

347 I would expect nothing more and nothing less from "The Trib"

Posted by: Killface at January 23, 2013 08:58 PM (dr0xf)

348 It's the fusee spring cover...

Posted by: Deanimator at January 23, 2013 09:00 PM (2YnwF)

349 That doohickey, morons, is a clip for my shades. When I'm entering a diner to meet the people - and enjoy a piece of pie naturally - I like to take off my shades so I can look at the people eye-to-eye.

Some people say "Hey Joey, why not leave the rifle in the trunk and just put your shades in your breast pocket?"

I remind them that Obama is not getting between me and my rifle, I can promise you that.

Posted by: Joe Biden at January 23, 2013 09:00 PM (vicst)

350 It's the on/off switch for full AUTO!

Posted by: LC LaWedgie at January 23, 2013 09:12 PM (0It32)

351 And that dagger like spear at the end of the weapon becomes very intimidating once it enters Hamdoons body temporarily and severs the aorta or punctures a lung. Frankly I prefer the latter. The surprised look is simply breathtaking.....oh way too easy.

Posted by: Woody Herman at January 23, 2013 09:14 PM (RZvso)

352 It's a mount for the standard issue Hutzler 571 banana slicer

Posted by: Riz at January 23, 2013 09:14 PM (84ucj)

353 > It's the mount for the 100 watt plasma grenade launcher.

Just what you see here, pal.

Posted by: Downtown Denizen at January 23, 2013 09:23 PM (Doh0q)

354 "If the bayonet gets stuck in his body, just fire a round. The recoil should jerk it free."
"Sir, if I have a bullet in my rifle there ain't gonna be no bayonet fighting."

Posted by: Close in and sweaty at January 23, 2013 09:37 PM (Qb7IZ)

355 It's the Portal To Hell.
The conduit Satan uses to control the weapon. And. Its. Owner.

Posted by: sonus at January 23, 2013 10:52 PM (yAlrb)

356 And a coupla inches of bayonet in an ass cheek will give you a pretty good idea as to who just miiight be playin' 'possum.

Posted by: sonus at January 23, 2013 11:03 PM (yAlrb)

357 its a tab to tie a white surrender flag on when they come to confiscate it,....that is if your a pussy and ain't ready to go out in a blaze of glory fighting to protect the freedoms paid for with the blood of our brave soldiers for 200 years!

Posted by: terry at January 23, 2013 11:05 PM (Ak9Bd)

358 It's used to open kipper snacks. And, you can wrap your dental floss on it.

Posted by: EROWMER at January 23, 2013 11:11 PM (kxlCQ)

359 they are sights,...for ghetto bangers who turn their weapons sideways ,..silly!

Posted by: terry at January 23, 2013 11:12 PM (Ak9Bd)

360 it's a micro camera to capture pictures of the 27 virgins when we send them there.

Posted by: terry at January 23, 2013 11:13 PM (Ak9Bd)

361 ok,...ta tell ya the truth,....i dunno, but i can picture john r rambo tying some fishing line to it and catching him and ted kaczynski some mighty fine salmon.

Posted by: terry at January 23, 2013 11:16 PM (Ak9Bd)

362
It's a really short "Unicorn Attractor", disguised as a monopod.

Posted by: Okrathief at January 23, 2013 11:28 PM (elRrM)

363 You guys are hilarious.

Posted by: sablegsd at January 24, 2013 12:04 AM (AKS75)

364 It's the part that goes "ping".

Posted by: Nobody at January 24, 2013 12:19 AM (oyWNr)

365 If the Chicago Tribune says it's a grenade launcher, that's good enough for me. Geez youz guys are stuped.

Posted by: lee at January 24, 2013 01:14 AM (8iy5P)

366
They're telling me that if I mount that, I'll be awarded a bayonet AND a grenade launcher?

Bring it!

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars at January 24, 2013 03:52 AM (Jcd0S)

367 Some of you bozos have been using your bayonet mount for your sling? Rookies.

Posted by: Charlie Delta at January 24, 2013 09:46 AM (fgxDk)

368 It's an Assault Pez Despenser

Posted by: captainfish at January 24, 2013 12:33 PM (HgkYj)

369 It is where the Jewish Lobby keeps their membership roster.

Posted by: Chuck Hagel at January 24, 2013 12:41 PM (y5bPZ)

370 Itz RACIST

Posted by: UrbanCHUD at January 24, 2013 03:21 PM (cCtkP)

371 Lets be honest here if someone were pointing a rifle at me that was equipped with a bayonet, I would be hoping they would attempt to use the bayonet. All a bayonet does is make a rifle a sharp pointy stick. Can never understand the fact that for some government it is OK you have the rifle but you are not allowed the pointy stick. Government=stupid.

Posted by: derfel cadarn at January 27, 2013 03:21 PM (P/4Ye)






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