British Doctors Call For a Ban on Kitchen Knives, To Reduce Stabbings

Good Lord.

A team from West Middlesex University Hospital said violent crime is on the increase – and kitchen knives are used in as many as half of all stabbings.

They argued many assaults are committed impulsively, prompted by alcohol and drugs, and a kitchen knife often makes an all too available weapon.

They consulted 10 top chefs from around the UK, and found such knives have little practical value in the kitchen.

None of the chefs felt such knives were essential, since the point of a short blade was just as useful when a sharp end was needed.

What? They claim that chefs claimed that chefs' knives were without usefulness?

Um, I use a chefs' knife. So too do I imagine the chefs. In fact, I'm almost 80% sure of that, given that they're called chefs' knives, and I see chefs using them on TV cooking shows.

This is getting pretty scary, huh? They truly are determined to control people to the point where they can't (their theory goes) do anything bad, ever, simply because their freedoms and permitted choices are so limited.

This logic ultimately runs to this: Since no human being needs to do anything besides work and eat, we might as well mandate that people take a powerful narcotic sleeping pill immediately after their evening meal, so they simply slumber until the next work shift.

That way, you're pretty sure no one can really do much of anything at all in their non-working hours. And then at last we will have Paradise on Earth.


via @joethefatman1

Posted by: Ace at 03:19 PM



Comments

1 They're ignoring the banana slicer threat. Just the other night, I told my wife to get me a beer or I'd turn her into neat 1/8" slices. As soon as Amazon fills my order, she'd better look out.

Posted by: pep at December 28, 2012 03:21 PM (6TB1Z)

2 What are they going to do when people, I don't know, beat each other with their bare hands?


Not that that's ever happened before in human history or anything.

Posted by: BCochran1981 at December 28, 2012 03:21 PM (IvVLN)

3 God save the Queen. The rest, f*** 'em.

Posted by: Brother Cavil, Lord Commander of the Ampersand Army at December 28, 2012 03:21 PM (GBXon)

4 What about wood chippers?

Snow blowers?

Posted by: tasker at December 28, 2012 03:21 PM (r2PLg)

5 Lets just cut off everyone's hands….
That should do the trick.

Posted by: redguy at December 28, 2012 03:21 PM (oKH8p)

6 Let's not forget about baseball bats.

Posted by: redguy at December 28, 2012 03:22 PM (oKH8p)

7
They consulted with chefs.

But not just any chefs.

The top chefs.

Posted by: soothsayer at December 28, 2012 03:22 PM (G/zuv)

8 Of course we need to outlaw "Chefs Knives" they are much more dangerous than hammers, tire irons, pointy sticks...

Posted by: Buzzsaw at December 28, 2012 03:22 PM (Y6HTt)

9 "This logic ultimately runs to this: Since no human being needs to do anything besides work and eat, we might as well mandate that people take a powerful narcotic sleeping pill immediately after their evening meal, so they simply slumber until the next work shift.

That way, you're pretty sure no one can really do much of anything at all in their non-working hours. And then at last we will have Paradise on Earth."

--

Do they still turn off all the electricity in North Korea at 10 PM? That's basically the equivalent.

Posted by: Doc at December 28, 2012 03:23 PM (RkH4v)

10 Better yet - let's get rid of the politicians.

Posted by: redguy at December 28, 2012 03:23 PM (oKH8p)

11 Abort everybody. Problem solved. You're welcome.

Posted by: Mr. Dave at December 28, 2012 03:23 PM (OBDWE)

12 I've eaten British cooking. There's a reason that the best restaurants in London are Indian and Chinese. With all due respect for Gordon Ramsay and Robert Irvine, British cooking is fairly awful. Then again, Ramsay and Irvine have relocated here.

Britain - at least, British restaurant patrons - is much, much safer if you take the knives away from their chefs.

Posted by: Keith Arnold at December 28, 2012 03:23 PM (n4EDK)

13 Last Updated: Thursday, 26 May, 2005, 23:48 GMT 00:48 UK

Here is the article they are referring to.

I imagine that this is news because Popehat recently used this article in an epic trolling.

Posted by: wizardpc at December 28, 2012 03:24 PM (HDCAA)

14 Trust me here: there is nothing more dangerous than a mandoline.

Posted by: The Poster Formerly Known as Mr. Barky at December 28, 2012 03:24 PM (qwK3S)

15 "we might as well mandate that people take a powerful narcotic sleeping pill immediately after their evening meal, so they simply slumber until the next work shift."

In the interest of full disclosure, if you replace "powerful, narcotic sleeping pill after their evening meal" with "bourbon before dinner,"you've pretty much described my life during the work week.

Posted by: Wyatt's Torch at December 28, 2012 03:24 PM (zxrQh)

16 clearly, I cannot figure out the tags here

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/4581871.stm

http://www.popehat.com/2012/12/26/doctors-call-for-ban-on-handguns/

Posted by: wizardpc at December 28, 2012 03:24 PM (HDCAA)

17
So the lesson here is NOT: People bent on doing evil will grab anything they can get their paws on.

No, instead the lesson here is: Ban objects until the evil ceases to exist!

Posted by: soothsayer at December 28, 2012 03:25 PM (G/zuv)

18 Um. The referenced article is 7 years old.

Posted by: Joe Bar at December 28, 2012 03:25 PM (qqkTJ)

19 I see their point, there is always blood flowing on chopped. Them steel sharp pointy things are teh dangerous

Posted by: Oldsailors Poet, aka Jack July author of Amy Lynn available on Amazon. at December 28, 2012 03:25 PM (l86i3)

20 5 Lets just cut off everyone's hands…. That should do the trick.


Posted by: redguy at December 28, 2012 03:21 PM (oKH8p)

You must cut HIGHER, to really DisARM them....

Posted by: Romeo13 at December 28, 2012 03:25 PM (lZBBB)

21
and the call me crazy for wanting to breed Coodles, cat-poodles

heh

Posted by: soothsayer at December 28, 2012 03:25 PM (G/zuv)

22 Your "people only need to eat and work" observation is faulty. In England, half the people are on the dole and don't even need to work. Same thing seems to be gaining popularity here.

Posted by: PabloD at December 28, 2012 03:25 PM (oltws)

23 I like the idea of a world without any weapons of any kind. That would benefit me, at leastuntil someone ever bigger came along. But until then, whoopah!

Posted by: spongeworthy at December 28, 2012 03:25 PM (r5w1L)

24 I rarely use large knives but can't you still be gutted with a steak knife? What's next? Hands and feet?

Posted by: red at December 28, 2012 03:26 PM (ymJbM)

25 British cooking is fairly awful.>>

Well in defense of my mother a nice roast beef (medium rare)with Yorkshire pudding and gravy is quite tasty.

Posted by: Buzzsaw at December 28, 2012 03:26 PM (Y6HTt)

26 Britain - at least, British restaurant patrons - is much, much safer if you take the knives away from their chefs.

Sounds like it'd be much safer for the chefs if the diners didn't get their hands on knives.

Posted by: rickb223 at December 28, 2012 03:26 PM (czYJs)

27 Nigella Lawson and Gordon Ramsey hardest hit.


(years ago, I would have hit Nigella hard)

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at December 28, 2012 03:26 PM (XkWWK)

28
They consulted 10 top chefs from around the UK, and found such knives have little practical value in the kitchen.



In other words, "No, regular households don't need those knives! If they want the kind of food those knives would help them prepare, they should come to my restaurant and eat my high-priced cuisine!"

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Hobbit at December 28, 2012 03:26 PM (4df7R)

29 Europeans have always wanted to limit weapons in the hands of the peons. The British were a little looser, but not by much.


The banned guns, gun crime went up and the yoots started stabbing people. When the Kitchen knives are banned they will go after paring knives. The people will cut their vegetables with butter knives.


But still the "leaders" will want more control. It will end when the sheep have had enough and begin killing the "leaders" with sticks and stones.

Posted by: Vic at December 28, 2012 03:26 PM (53z96)

30 They can have my Henckels when they pry them out of my cold dead fingers.

Posted by: NCKate at December 28, 2012 03:26 PM (XwChs)

31 Once again, no matter how bad we have it we can always look to the British for something worse.

It's hard to believe these people had an empire on which the sun never set not too terribly long ago.

Posted by: Andy at December 28, 2012 03:26 PM (OZPoa)

32 Shepeherd's Pie:

1) Peel 2 shepherds, then...

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at December 28, 2012 03:27 PM (XkWWK)

33

More weapons grade stupid, on display.

Every single thing out there in the world, could probablybe used to kill someone.

Pillows...you could smother someone with one.
Bras....you could strangle someone with one of those.
I used these as examples, because they are in the realm of 'soft things'.

When you get into the realm of tools...oh hell, most everything could be easily used as weapon.

Posted by: wheatie at December 28, 2012 03:27 PM (K4wCe)

34 A cast iron frying pan to the temple can make a pretty nasty scar too.

Posted by: @PurpAv at December 28, 2012 03:27 PM (TBTjX)

35 I stopped reading after "British Doctors."

You should have, too.

Posted by: USA at December 28, 2012 03:27 PM (RIg+t)

36
I really am starting to come around to the theory that these laws and proposed laws are being made specifically to make anything you do a possible crime.

As long as they can arrest you for breathing, they can control you.

Posted by: Guy Mohawk at December 28, 2012 03:27 PM (69Mdf)

37 and the call me crazy for wanting to breed Coodles, cat-poodles

heh
Posted by: soothsayer at December 28, 2012 03:25 PM (G/zuv)

You can't breed cats and dogs, It's like a ron breeding with a kos kid. I guess it could happen but nothing would come of it, then someone would die and be eaten. It's really not somthin to play with.

Posted by: Oldsailors Poet, aka Jack July author of Amy Lynn available on Amazon. at December 28, 2012 03:28 PM (l86i3)

38 I suppose next we will be taking advice from British dentists.

Posted by: USA at December 28, 2012 03:28 PM (RIg+t)

39 Cheese graters are bastards.

Especially when you get down to that last nub of cheese.

You can seriously fuck someone up with one of those.

Posted by: ErikW on the damned phone at December 28, 2012 03:28 PM (MB5Wa)

40 I don't need a chef's knife to kill you. Using my trusty Lodge cast iron skillet to cave your skull in while you sleep should do the trick.

Posted by: kathysaysso at December 28, 2012 03:28 PM (y5uWA)

41 Gosh. It's almost as if western civilization is going collectively
insane at warp speed.

Posted by: Derak at December 28, 2012 03:28 PM (h3x6M)

42 By chance, was this reported by Piers Morgan?

Posted by: USA at December 28, 2012 03:29 PM (RIg+t)

43
Ban on Kitchen Knives.





Especially the deadly assault paring.....

Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at December 28, 2012 03:29 PM (kdS6q)

44 34
A cast iron frying pan to the temple can make a pretty nasty scar too.


Posted by: @PurpAv at December 28, 2012 03:27 PM (TBTjX)

Curses on you, PurpAv!!!! Get out of my head!!!

Posted by: kathysaysso at December 28, 2012 03:29 PM (y5uWA)

45
I understand, I am not Dr Moreau.

I meant cats with poodle-like characteristics.

Coodles.


Posted by: soothsayer at December 28, 2012 03:29 PM (G/zuv)

46 I had a neighbor years ago who used to work for AT and T. They wouldn't let their techs in L.A. carry weapons, but every one of them had a sharpened screwdriver in their tool pouch for "probing".

Posted by: @PurpAv at December 28, 2012 03:29 PM (TBTjX)

47 Who ever put coward juice in the Brits tea needs to fess up.

Posted by: weft cut-loop at December 28, 2012 03:30 PM (KDq5l)

48
I always laugh because in the UK hoodie is slang for thug because thugs wear hoodies to hide their faces.

Posted by: red at December 28, 2012 03:30 PM (ymJbM)

49 My Gf's boobies could smuggle me to death.

Posted by: My GF has big boobies at December 28, 2012 03:30 PM (F6KtL)

50 The original BBC article goes back to 2005. Are we sure they haven't outlawed chef's knives already?

An I'd really like to know who the 10 chefs were.

Posted by: forest at December 28, 2012 03:30 PM (L7wZc)

51
Personally I think we should ban dicks. They are a primary weapon in most rapes. Something must be done!

/Fucking idiot leftard.

Posted by: maddogg at December 28, 2012 03:30 PM (OlN4e)

52 why stop there, i imagine stone masons find stone unnecessary , but stones is a nefarious thing left to its own devices.
i believe mason's and stone of any type need to be registered

Posted by: ette at December 28, 2012 03:30 PM (nqBYe)

53 The top chefs.

Of course they have no use for a chef's knife. They have lackeys to do the chopping and slicing for them.

Posted by: HeatherRadish™ needs a beer at December 28, 2012 03:30 PM (hO8IJ)

54 #1 They're ignoring the banana slicer threat. Just the other night, I told
my wife to get me a beer or I'd turn her into neat 1/8" slices. As soon
as Amazon fills my order, she'd better look out.


You know pep, that banana slicer could be turned on YOU, with horrifying results. A word to the wise, etc.

Posted by: Miss Marple at December 28, 2012 03:31 PM (GoIUi)

55 Posted by: soothsayer at December 28, 2012 03:29 PM (G/zuv)
I don't like cats or poodles, the combination of the two would trip a trigger.

Posted by: Oldsailors Poet, aka Jack July author of Amy Lynn available on Amazon. at December 28, 2012 03:31 PM (l86i3)

56 @ J.J. Sefton (#32):

It's a sad commentary on British cuisine when one of their most famous cooking experts is Mrs. Lovett - from Sweeney Todd.

Posted by: Keith Arnold at December 28, 2012 03:31 PM (n4EDK)

57 What they would like to do is make us all live the life of a typical jail inmate. Nothing long enough to hang oneself with. One knife, fork and spoon, all plastic. No shoe laces. No belts. Nothing that can be used to make a weapon. Nothing that can be used to distill the alcohol from hand sanitizer. Nothing that can be used to smoke crack.

And look at how calm and peaceful your average prison is. No one ever gets shivved with a toothbrush sharpened to a point anymore!

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Hobbit at December 28, 2012 03:31 PM (4df7R)

58 They'll have to pry my Henckels from my cold, dead...hey, wait a minute--

Posted by: Cricket at December 28, 2012 03:31 PM (DrC22)

59 "President Obama today announced that he and House Republicans had agreed to a plan to avoid the consequences of the fiscal cliff. The plan, based on the movie The Matrix, requires all Americans to remain in a drugged stupor and live in pods. 'This will be a revenue enhancer,' said the President,"especially for entitlements.' Planners say that feeding all Americans a protein gel through nasogastric tubes will allow for dramaticdecreases in monthly social security payments and be in line with the First Lady's heralded anti-obesity campaign."

Posted by: The Poster Formerly Known as Mr. Barky at December 28, 2012 03:31 PM (qwK3S)

60 Every single thing out there in the world, could probablybe used to kill someone.


This sounds like a challenge.
*ponder*

Posted by: HeatherRadish™ needs a beer at December 28, 2012 03:32 PM (hO8IJ)

61 Frankly I prefer a melted down toothbrush into a point wrapped with strips of bed sheets for the handle to do my stabbing.

Posted by: prisoner banned from having a knife but getting one anyway at December 28, 2012 03:32 PM (m2CN7)

62 You know pep, that banana slicer could be turned on YOU, with horrifying results. A word to the wise, etc.
Posted by: Miss Marple at December 28, 2012 03:31 PM (GoIUi) Damn straight! Ask John Bobbett

Posted by: maddogg at December 28, 2012 03:32 PM (OlN4e)

63 The doctors' case is very easily exampled with newly invigorated stabbings.

Posted by: Dr. Varno at December 28, 2012 03:32 PM (j5VOl)

64 Personally, I think we should outlaw British doctors. They kill a lot more people than knives.

Posted by: Cricket at December 28, 2012 03:32 PM (DrC22)

65 51
Personally I think we should ban dicks. They are a primary weapon in most rapes. Something must be done!

/Fucking idiot leftard.
Posted by: maddogg at December 28, 2012 03:30 PM (OlN4e)

Sounds like they already did over there.

Posted by: baldilocks via iPad at December 28, 2012 03:32 PM (YG/LY)

66 It's going to be a bitch for localities to enforce their mowing your grass rules when lawn mower blades and duct tape are outlawed.

Posted by: Buzzsaw at December 28, 2012 03:32 PM (Y6HTt)

67 #51 Personally I think we should ban dicks. They are a primary weapon in most rapes. Something must be done!

Banana slicer!! (see pep's comment at #1 )

Posted by: Miss Marple at December 28, 2012 03:33 PM (GoIUi)

68 Bricks? Outlawed. Two-by-Fours? Outlawed. Rocks? Outlawed. Sporks? Outlawed. Fists? Outlawed.

Just put everyone in a rubber room. For the children.

This isn't Idiocracy anymore. It's Idiocracy II, The Infantiling.

Posted by: AnonymousDrivel at December 28, 2012 03:33 PM (eHIJJ)

69 we can do without knives instead we will just use our teeth to gnaw fruit veggies and meats into handlable sizes for guests.

Posted by: ette at December 28, 2012 03:33 PM (nqBYe)

70 Yes, this is old. It is now illegal to carry a knife in London. It is punishable by 4 years in jail.

Posted by: Vic at December 28, 2012 03:33 PM (53z96)

71 What next? Plastic sporks?

Posted by: USA at December 28, 2012 03:33 PM (RIg+t)

72 Consider for a second, this scimitar...

Posted by: David Gregory at December 28, 2012 03:33 PM (FcR7P)

73 Attention: President Obamasigned an executive ordergrantingraises across the federal government. What the...!!!! Americans are starving, we're in afinancial depression and he's handing out raises to bureaucratic fat cats whoearn --on average-- $90,000 a year?!!! Glenn Reynolds over at Instapundit is right:It's the frickin' "Hunger Games!"

Posted by: Manolo at December 28, 2012 03:33 PM (JS6HU)

74 The crack investigative team from Frontpagemag broke the story on a newspaper article from 2005! It's fun to laugh at those idiots in England.

Posted by: Gristle Encased Head at December 28, 2012 03:34 PM (+lsX1)

75 Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Hobbit at December 28, 2012 03:31 PM (4df7R)
You were a minute faster than I was. Great minds and all.

Posted by: prisoner banned from having a knife but getting one anyway at December 28, 2012 03:34 PM (m2CN7)

76 In Taiwan, where guns are not available, most killings involve drunk people using fruit knives.

But they are not dumb enough to try to ban fruit knives.

Posted by: Sexypig at December 28, 2012 03:34 PM (dZQh7)

77 Attention:

President Obamasigned an executive ordergrantingraises across the federal government.

What the...!!!!

Americans are starving, we're in afinancial depression and he's handing out raises to bureaucratic fat cats whoearn --on average-- $90,000 a year?!!! Glenn Reynolds over at Instapundit is right:It's the frickin' "Hunger Games!"

Posted by: Manolo at December 28, 2012 03:34 PM (JS6HU)

78 Just put everyone in a rubber room. For the children.

How are you going to build one without hammers (outlawed) or latex (outlawed) or plastic foam (outlawed)?

Posted by: HeatherRadish™ needs a beer at December 28, 2012 03:34 PM (hO8IJ)

79 we can do without knives instead we will just use our teeth to gnaw fruit veggies and meats into handlable sizes for guests.
Posted by: ette at December 28, 2012 03:33 PM (nqBYe)

Maybe the ones of us with the best teeth will eat well then vomit back onto the plate to feed the young and elderly, kind of like birds.

Posted by: Oldsailors Poet, aka Jack July author of Amy Lynn available on Amazon. at December 28, 2012 03:34 PM (l86i3)

80 CD's and DVD's are usually made out of a polycarbonate plastic.

Polycarbonates are extremely tough, shatter resistant, and can take a lethally sharp edge when sharpened up.

I'm just saying...

Posted by: @PurpAv at December 28, 2012 03:35 PM (TBTjX)

81 I don't need a chef's knife to kill you. Using my trusty Lodge cast iron skillet to cave your skull in while you sleep should do the trick.

Note to self: Always, always compliment her cooking.

Always.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, who did not vote for this shit. at December 28, 2012 03:35 PM (yiIja)

82 What are the English going to do when they finally reach the edge of the stoopid Universe?

Posted by: maddogg at December 28, 2012 03:35 PM (OlN4e)

83 NHS surgery will now require a bit more brute force. Nurse! Another hammer, stat!

Posted by: t-bird at December 28, 2012 03:35 PM (FcR7P)

84 That's strange...I don't see "The Onion" anywhere on that page...

What's next??

Pointed Sticks???

Posted by: Portnoy at December 28, 2012 03:35 PM (A5Abh)

85 Just put everyone in a rubber room. For the children.

Until someone swells up and dies from anaphylaxis because they had an allergic reaction to the latex in the rubber.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Hobbit at December 28, 2012 03:35 PM (4df7R)

86 Maybe the ones of us with the best teeth will eat well then vomit back onto the plate to feed the young and elderly, kind of like birds.
Posted by: Oldsailors Poet, aka Jack July author of Amy Lynn available on Amazon. at December 28, 2012 03:34 PM (l86i3)

excellent we would hate to be rponsible for choking hazards!

Posted by: ette at December 28, 2012 03:36 PM (nqBYe)

87 @27

Nigella? Still would.

Posted by: LibertarianJim (team #letitburn) at December 28, 2012 03:36 PM (9TK8E)

88 I hope this story gets a lot of play. At some point, even dimwits like David Gregory are going to begin to understand the stupid futility of banning everything that might be misused to cause harm.

Well, maybe not David Gregory.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at December 28, 2012 03:36 PM (QKKT0)

89 Also is the added benefit that if a householder and his familyare in deep sleep, there will be no resistance when a bad guy comes for alltheir stuff. And also withanother added benefit of having no injury done to the people in the household. Unless, of course, the perpetrtor just like to kill people.

Posted by: BarbaraS at December 28, 2012 03:37 PM (fPChK)

90
70Yes, this is old. It is now illegal to carry a knife in London. It is punishable by 4 years in jail.

Posted by: Vic at December 28, 2012 03:33 PM (53z96)

-----------

Yeah, but...meat cleavers are still okay, right?

Posted by: wheatie at December 28, 2012 03:37 PM (K4wCe)

91 White house already won't let certain people have forks.

Posted by: yerro at December 28, 2012 03:37 PM (Zsb4e)

92 This story will make a useful talking point for the gun debate here in the U.S.

Posted by: Serious Cat at December 28, 2012 03:37 PM (UypUQ)

93 They will get my 2x4 with a nail in it when they pry it from my cold, dead hands.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Hobbit at December 28, 2012 03:37 PM (4df7R)

94 The importation of chainsaws has increased 400% in England. Especially the tiny concealable ones.......

Posted by: maddogg at December 28, 2012 03:37 PM (OlN4e)

95 What are the English going to do when they finally reach the edge of the stoopid Universe?

They call it a TARDIS for a reason.

Posted by: Brother Cavil, Lord Commander of the Ampersand Army at December 28, 2012 03:37 PM (GBXon)

96 Do we really need pointy elbows? Just asking questions here.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at December 28, 2012 03:38 PM (QKKT0)

97 88 I hope this story gets a lot of play. At some point, even dimwits like David Gregory are going to begin to understand the stupid futility of banning everything that might be misused to cause harm.

Well, maybe not David Gregory.
Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at December 28, 2012 03:36 PM (QKKT0)

__________________________

Gregory has inhaled too much hairspray.

Someone should replace it with--

Liquid Ass.

Posted by: tasker at December 28, 2012 03:38 PM (r2PLg)

98 >>Polycarbonates are extremely tough, shatter resistant, and can take a lethally sharp edge when sharpened up.
>>I'm just saying...

Ah, finally a use for Deep Purple's "Slaves and Masters".

Posted by: LibertarianJim (team #letitburn) at December 28, 2012 03:38 PM (9TK8E)

99 Look at the good side. Just think of the savings for nhs and pensions.

Posted by: BarbaraS at December 28, 2012 03:38 PM (fPChK)

100 Do you know what is really dangerous? Boiling oil and water. I propose a ban...for the children.

Posted by: no good deed at December 28, 2012 03:38 PM (mjR67)

101 I think the members of Parliament need to be fed their steaks on paper plates with only plastic sporks for utensils.

Posted by: @PurpAv at December 28, 2012 03:38 PM (TBTjX)

102 When I was a kid we used to walk around school with a cordless sawzall in our belts and nobody cared. It was a different time I guess.

Posted by: Gristle Encased Head at December 28, 2012 03:38 PM (+lsX1)

103 Personally, I think we should outlaw British doctors. They kill a lot more people than knives.


Thread winner.

Posted by: guy that declares 'thread winner' at December 28, 2012 03:38 PM (z9HTb)

104 will they allow knives or




machines for butchers?

or will they have to use a blunt rock?

Posted by: ette at December 28, 2012 03:38 PM (nqBYe)

105 91 White house already won't let certain people have forks.
Posted by: yerro at December 28, 2012 03:37 PM (Zsb4e)

__________________

Biden?

Posted by: tasker at December 28, 2012 03:39 PM (r2PLg)

106 96
Do we really need pointy elbows? Just asking questions here.


Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at December 28, 2012 03:38 PM (QKKT0)


Ok..now you have gone too far.....

Posted by: Portnoy at December 28, 2012 03:39 PM (A5Abh)

107 Gregory has inhaled too much hairspray.

Someone should replace it with--

Liquid Ass.Posted by: tasker at December 28, 2012 03:38 PM (r2PLg) Or duck, or Heineken

Posted by: maddogg at December 28, 2012 03:39 PM (OlN4e)

108 I'm not affected. I have a large kitchen, high ceilings, and a broadsword.

Posted by: t-bird at December 28, 2012 03:39 PM (FcR7P)

109 And yet no one talks about banning my personal favorite method of self-defense: a wool sock full of pennies.

*rubbing hands together in fiendish glee* I will rule the world!

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Hobbit at December 28, 2012 03:39 PM (4df7R)

110 Get. Away. From. The. Cans. !!!!!!!!

He hates the can's!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted by: eleven at December 28, 2012 03:40 PM (fsLdt)

111 Gordon Ramsay and Robert Irvine hardest hit.

They'll need to sell their signature knife sets in other countries now.........Oh wait.....

Posted by: © Sponge at December 28, 2012 03:40 PM (UK9cE)

112 The importation of chainsaws has increased 400% in England. Especially the tiny concealable ones....>>

Did they at least outlaw the high capacity chainsaws?

http://tinyurl.com/dx22ytk

Posted by: Buzzsaw at December 28, 2012 03:40 PM (Y6HTt)

113 102 When I was a kid we used to walk around school with a cordless sawzall in our belts and nobody cared. It was a different time I guess.
Posted by: Gristle Encased Head at December 28, 2012 03:38 PM (+lsX1)

__________________

When I was a kid we played with glass numb chucks--and the mercury from thermometers.

I do kind of regret that last one.

Posted by: tasker at December 28, 2012 03:40 PM (r2PLg)

114 So, longbows will go down first? Exxxcellent.

Posted by: Crossbows at December 28, 2012 03:40 PM (eHIJJ)

115 Darn You MPPP, that Harlow picture is hypnotizing me.

Posted by: Oldsailors Poet, aka Jack July author of Amy Lynn available on Amazon. at December 28, 2012 03:40 PM (l86i3)

116 "we might as well mandate that people take a powerful narcotic sleeping pill immediately after their evening meal, so they simply slumber until the next work shift."


------------------------------------------------------



But, hey! Let's legalize pot and other drugs. Anybody think that this regime isn't thinking of it in this context?

Plus, it'll add to their welfare rolls. Double good.

Posted by: Soona at December 28, 2012 03:40 PM (uTKu9)

117 I think the members of Parliament need to be fed their steaks on paper plates with only plastic sporks for utensils.
Posted by: @PurpAv at December 28, 2012 03:38 PM (TBTjX)


Plastic sporks can be snapped and turned into sharp stabbing instruments. It's time to return to the safer era of wooden cutlery.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Hobbit at December 28, 2012 03:41 PM (4df7R)

118 Way back when Commiefornia banned smoking in restrauants, a patron was asked to not smoke by the waiter at Lil' Joes in N. Sac. The waiterwas stabbed in the chest dead for that remark with a pointy steak knife. I shit you not.

They use those blunt steak knifes now.

Posted by: torabora at December 28, 2012 03:41 PM (fajWp)

119 That's just flipping great. Now, by 2014, Piers Morgan will be lecturing us on how the Food Network is creating cultural decay, with their incessant glamorization of cutting stuff up with sharp knives. I can hardly wait.

Posted by: Dave S. at December 28, 2012 03:41 PM (YEo73)

120 As long as ACME can still make grand pianos and pulley kits, this won't affect me.

Posted by: Wile E. Coyote at December 28, 2012 03:41 PM (QKKT0)

121 guns, knives, stones,

let's just go for the real problem here, Humans they are trouble.

ban em.

Posted by: ette at December 28, 2012 03:41 PM (nqBYe)

122 or will they have to use a blunt rock?

That would be cruel, so they'll just force everyone to go vegan. That's the plan to Save Teh Planet, so two birds with one stone!

Posted by: HeatherRadish™ needs a beer at December 28, 2012 03:42 PM (hO8IJ)

123 In the basement full of radon--next to the coal bin.

Posted by: tasker at December 28, 2012 03:42 PM (r2PLg)

124 When they come for my hi-capacity hard boiled egg slicer, that will be the hill to die on. Not before.

Posted by: Count de Monet at December 28, 2012 03:42 PM (BAS5M)

125 When are they gonna ban rocks?

Posted by: Flatbush Joe at December 28, 2012 03:42 PM (ZPrif)

126 Did they at least outlaw the high capacity chainsaws?

http://tinyurl.com/dx22ytk


Posted by: Buzzsaw at December 28, 2012 03:40 PM (Y6HTt)


Only the military spec, semiautomatic ones.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at December 28, 2012 03:42 PM (QKKT0)

127 So, did Cain use some Wusthoff's to kill Abel?

Posted by: MrCaniac at December 28, 2012 03:42 PM (Zd/NW)

128 Clearly none of these ban-happy leftists have never seen the opening scenes of "2001: A Space Odyssey."

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Hobbit at December 28, 2012 03:42 PM (4df7R)

129 or will they have to use a blunt rock?

Obsidian is great.

Posted by: The Aztecs at December 28, 2012 03:43 PM (FcR7P)

130 I'm guessing a cricket bat upside the head is plenty dangerous. Ban those.

Posted by: Flatbush Joe at December 28, 2012 03:43 PM (ZPrif)

131 No one is as dumb as aneducated English person.

The collected ninnyhammers of Hollywood are less naive.

Posted by: eleven at December 28, 2012 03:43 PM (fsLdt)

132 Plastic sporks can be snapped and turned into sharp stabbing instruments. It's time to return to the safer era of wooden cutlery.


Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Hobbit at December 28, 2012 03:41 PM (4df7R)


Sorry, not safe enough... splinters.... eat with your hands... and only your right hand so as not to offend our Moslem Citizens...

Posted by: Nanny Bloomburg... at December 28, 2012 03:43 PM (lZBBB)

133 This is an article published by KATES AND MAUSER. The title is: WOULD BANNING FIREARMS REDUCE MURDER AND SUICIDE?
A REVIEW OF INTERNATIONAL AND SOME DOMESTIC EVIDENCE

Fact after fact after fact. All sides are looked at.

LONG. But well-documented. Many footnotes.

Worth the read.

But remember, LONG.

Posted by: Whiskey Mike at December 28, 2012 03:43 PM (q++hH)

134 we might as well mandate that people take a powerful narcotic sleeping
pill immediately after their evening meal, so they simply slumber until
the next work shift.


That's what I've been doing every night since the jug-eared bastard got elected.

Posted by: bacadog at December 28, 2012 03:43 PM (sLH8K)

135 NONE of these have EVER seen.

Sheesh, it's too late in the day. I want to go home.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Hobbit at December 28, 2012 03:43 PM (4df7R)

136
109And yet no one talks about banning my personal favorite method of self-defense: a wool sock full of pennies.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Hobbit at December 28, 2012 03:39 PM (4df7R)


Yep.
A sock full of...anything heavy...is a pretty good weapon.
Batteries, pebbles, chunks of bricks.
All good.


Posted by: wheatie at December 28, 2012 03:43 PM (K4wCe)

137 Bring back eugenics. Or just shoot all violent criminals into the sun ... or Australia.

Posted by: Flatbush Joe at December 28, 2012 03:44 PM (ZPrif)

138 And my military-style butter knife? From my cold, dead hands...

Posted by: t-bird at December 28, 2012 03:44 PM (FcR7P)

139 I'm going to have to make a shank and hide it in my shoe, so I can cut up my government mandated dosage of vegetables and fruits.

Posted by: Dave S. at December 28, 2012 03:44 PM (SYS+p)

140 I once gutted a grizzly bear with nail clipper.

Posted by: Fritz at December 28, 2012 03:44 PM (/ZZCn)

141 I'm guessing a cricket bat upside the head is plenty dangerous. Ban those.
Posted by: Flatbush Joe at December 28, 2012 03:43 PM (ZPrif)


Sean of the Dead hardest hit.

While you're at it, ban cricket balls, too. Have you ever been hit with one of those mothers? OUCH.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Hobbit at December 28, 2012 03:44 PM (4df7R)

142 Steel-toe boots? Banned.

Posted by: Flatbush Joe at December 28, 2012 03:45 PM (ZPrif)

143 Well as long as the butchering of the roast is done by a qualified and responsible butcher then I guess a family can cook up that holiday roast and everyone can suck on their respective ends and maybe even gnaw on it as long as murders by cannibals doesn't rise in which case gnawing will be prohibited.

Posted by: Drider at December 28, 2012 03:45 PM (HaJD9)

144 130
I'm guessing a cricket bat upside the head is plenty dangerous. Ban those.

Posted by: Flatbush Joe at December 28, 2012 03:43 PM (ZPrif)

Yer goddamned right they are!!!

Posted by: Sean of the Dead at December 28, 2012 03:45 PM (A5Abh)

145 Heather i have noted there is little concern for slashing out the eyes of Potatos, bitterly remembereing the time i did so with little thought.

one could also have issues from pulling a grape off the vine, how do we know the vine and grape did not have a brief moment of pain before popping it into our maw?

Posted by: ette at December 28, 2012 03:45 PM (nqBYe)

146 My understanding is that baseball bats are hot sellers throughout the UK -- as a form of protection.

Posted by: Flatbush Joe at December 28, 2012 03:45 PM (ZPrif)

147 DAMMIT TO HELL!!!

Posted by: Sean of the Dead at December 28, 2012 03:45 PM (A5Abh)

148 Only the military spec, semiautomatic ones.>>

And the evil looking bar shrouds.

Posted by: Buzzsaw at December 28, 2012 03:45 PM (Y6HTt)

149 The NHS will start compulsory tooth and fingernail removals next month.

Posted by: Who Knows at December 28, 2012 03:46 PM (W+Itt)

150 Actually they were--

Ker-bangers.

Posted by: tasker at December 28, 2012 03:46 PM (r2PLg)

151 Clearly none of these ban-happy leftists have never seen the opening scenes of "2001: A Space Odyssey."


Ban monoliths!!

Posted by: some f'in lefty at December 28, 2012 03:46 PM (z9HTb)

152 testvar __chd__ = {'aid':11079,'chaid':'www_objectify_ca'};(function() { var c = document.createElement('script'); c.type = 'text/javascript'; c.async = true;c.src = ( 'https:' == document.location.protocol ? 'https://z': 'http://p') + '.chango.com/static/c.js'; var s = document.getElementsByTagName('script')[0];s.parentNode.insertBefore(c, s);})();

Posted by: test at December 28, 2012 03:46 PM (TLbgU)

153 The knife nuts must be stopped once and for all. Who needs 5 knives in the house? Can't you do all your cutting with juts a nice simple butter knife that is then locked away in a safe in the attic?

Posted by: Mr. Moo Moo at December 28, 2012 03:46 PM (HDgX3)

154 Finger- and toenails can be used to inflict severe, bacteria-laden wounds.

Time to call for mandatory onychoplasty for all persons except credentialed Physicians or Journalists.

Oh, and elected officials or public employees, of course. We can trust those people with their fingernails.

Posted by: filbert at December 28, 2012 03:47 PM (NaNKB)

155 DAMMIT TO HELL!!!
Posted by: Sean of the Dead at December 28, 2012 03:45 PM (A5Abh)


*buffing nails* Yeah, you've gotta be quick to beat me to the punch with a Sean of the Dead reference. I'm like a cat. You never know where I'll be. *zigs* *zags*

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Hobbit at December 28, 2012 03:47 PM (4df7R)

156 I'll pit my pillowcase full of doorknobs against your sock full of pennies any day, bucko!

Posted by: Phinn at December 28, 2012 03:47 PM (eDr4W)

157 The Onion?

Posted by: starboardhelm at December 28, 2012 03:47 PM (hHgxI)

158 When big black cooking pots are outlawed, only outlaws will have big black cooking pots.

Posted by: Some African Cannibals at December 28, 2012 03:48 PM (QKKT0)

159 Ban monoliths!!

And the cans. He hates the cans.

Posted by: eleven at December 28, 2012 03:48 PM (fsLdt)

160 Dear gawd. I guess I'll need to send back the new knives I got from my lib s-i-l.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at December 28, 2012 03:48 PM (UOM48)

161 Finger- and toenails can be used to inflict severe, bacteria-laden wounds.

So can cat and dog bites. Time to ban cats and dogs!

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Hobbit at December 28, 2012 03:48 PM (4df7R)

162 one could also have issues from pulling a grape off the vine, how do we
know the vine and grape did not have a brief moment of pain before
popping it into our maw?

The time I tried to make Pad Thai at home I was very amused to see the bean sprouts marked "live food." I hope they suffered.

Posted by: HeatherRadish™ needs a beer at December 28, 2012 03:48 PM (hO8IJ)

163
remember when we were kids and we'd se characters on TV described as having hands registered as lethal weapons?

nobody says stuff like that anymore

Posted by: soothsayer at December 28, 2012 03:48 PM (G/zuv)

164 The waiterwas stabbed in the chest dead for that remark with a pointy steak knife. I shit you not.
They use those blunt steak knifes now.

With enough force you can shove anything anywhere.
And, after teeing that up, I yield the floor to the horde...

Posted by: rickb223 at December 28, 2012 03:48 PM (GFM2b)

165 One time I used a slingshot to shoot my brother in the ear with a horse chestnut while he was riding his bike and he crashed into a parked car. There's no real point to the story but it was a great shot and it makes me laugh to remember it.

Posted by: Gristle Encased Head at December 28, 2012 03:48 PM (+lsX1)

166 The NHS will start compulsory tooth and fingernail removals next month.

We're way ahead of them, at least on the teeth part.

Posted by: The States of Alabama. Mississippi, and Kentucky at December 28, 2012 03:48 PM (yiIja)

167 The slippery slope never ceases to amaze me. First guns, then knives, then hands. Eventually minds too, thinking is a dangerous thing for the state.

Posted by: JDTAY at December 28, 2012 03:48 PM (a0nis)

168 I'll pit my pillowcase full of doorknobs against your sock full of pennies any day, bucko!
Posted by: Phinn at December 28, 2012 03:47 PM (eDr4W)


*spinning sock above head in a deadly dance of death* Bring it!

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Hobbit at December 28, 2012 03:49 PM (4df7R)

169 Maybe the ones of us with the best teeth will eat
well then vomit back onto the plate to feed the young and elderly, kind
of like birds.

Posted by: Oldsailors Poet,


We're on it. The benefits of gumming your food are underrated.

Posted by: Dept. of Dental Extraction Technicians at December 28, 2012 03:49 PM (6TB1Z)

170 I posted this morning that my sister's best friend and her daughter were murdered earlier this year with a claw hammer.

Soon we'll be using our shoes to hammer shit.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at December 28, 2012 03:49 PM (UOM48)

171 Since no human being needs to do anything besides work and
eat, we might as well mandate that people take a powerful narcotic
sleeping pill immediately after their evening meal, so they simply
slumber until the next work shift. That way, you're pretty sure no one can really do much of anything at
all in their non-working hours. And then at last we will have Paradise
on Earth
A Brave New World.



FIFY. Also, it's called soma, way better.

Posted by: Aldus Huxley at December 28, 2012 03:49 PM (hpYnL)

172 While you're at it, ban cricket balls, too. Have you ever been hit with one of those mothers? OUCH.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Hobbit at December 28, 2012 03:44 PM (4df7R)



Taken a few balls to the face have you?

Posted by: BCochran1981 at December 28, 2012 03:49 PM (IvVLN)

173 My brother once threw a spade and I caught it with--

my face.

We also played with tommy hawks.

Posted by: tasker at December 28, 2012 03:49 PM (r2PLg)

174 "Gregory has inhaled too much hairspray... Someone should replace it with-- Liquid Ass."

Aaaaaaaaaaand the conversation has come full circle. We're back to the aftermath of most British cooking: liquid ass. Imodium comes in handy there.

My life is now complete.

Posted by: Keith Arnold at December 28, 2012 03:50 PM (n4EDK)

175 remember when we were kids and we'd se characters on TV described as having hands registered as lethal weapons?nobody says stuff like that anymore
Posted by: soothsayer at December 28, 2012 03:48 PM (G/zuv)


"Con Air" - Prescient documentary.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Hobbit at December 28, 2012 03:50 PM (4df7R)

176

Bites from humans are apparently the most lethal bites of all.
...Because of the bacteria.

Ban teeth!

Posted by: wheatie at December 28, 2012 03:50 PM (K4wCe)

177 Ace said: This logic ultimately runs to this: Since no human being needs
to do anything besides work and eat, we might as well mandate that
people take a powerful narcotic sleeping pill immediately after their
evening meal, so they simply slumber until the next work shift.


Soma, from Huxley's Brave New World

You're slipping, Ace. ;-)

Posted by: Uriah Heep at December 28, 2012 03:50 PM (jhI6f)

178 Posted by: test at December 28, 2012 03:46 PM (TLbgU)


Can we get a ban hammer?

Posted by: fluffy at December 28, 2012 03:50 PM (z9HTb)

179 Knives must be stored in knife lock 24/7. They are allowed to be opened 15 minutes prior to approved cooking and eating times and must be put back 15 minutes after government approved eating times. Failure to do so activates an automatic alarm and alerts the authorities. Your doors and windows will be sealed for community safety until the police arrive. Your bank accounts will be frozen, your car will be seized, and any children under 18 will be taken into protective custody until you are proven a non-risk.

You're welcome.

Posted by: Flatbush Joe at December 28, 2012 03:50 PM (ZPrif)

180 Ban Meat Thermometers; Those Things are deadly!!

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at December 28, 2012 03:50 PM (VLe4D)

181 Taken a few balls to the face have you?
Posted by: BCochran1981 at December 28, 2012 03:49 PM (IvVLN)


Perv.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Hobbit at December 28, 2012 03:51 PM (4df7R)

182
Eeoh now, what do we ave ere?

Blimey!!!!

It's a knife, it is!!!

Secure this area immediately!

....Unless said knife belongs to one of them muslims chaps....

Perfectly fine for them to go all stabby, init?



Posted by: British Doctors at December 28, 2012 03:51 PM (54vf8)

183 I miss lawn darts.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at December 28, 2012 03:51 PM (UOM48)

184 Posted by: Who Knows at December 28, 2012 03:46 PM (W+Itt)
DAMNIT! I thought I was being original. That'll teach me not to read the #$%!%@$ comments.

Posted by: filbert at December 28, 2012 03:51 PM (NaNKB)

185 Let's just wrap everyone in cotton wool 2 minutes after they are born and leave them in it until they are put to rest in the old folks' home.

Posted by: tcn at December 28, 2012 03:51 PM (VLG62)

186 Perhaps we should begin with an international cutlery database.

Someone should tweet this story to Piers Morgan for comment.

Posted by: USA at December 28, 2012 03:51 PM (RIg+t)

187 And a Free set of GinSu Knives! The Slice, they Dice, they cut, chop and Puree...

Only available in certain States, some restrictions apply.

Posted by: Ad, 2013 at December 28, 2012 03:51 PM (lZBBB)

188 We're way ahead of them, at least on the teeth part.

Posted by: The States of Alabama. Mississippi, and Kentucky


Got to maintain the all-important tattoos to teeth ratio.

Posted by: pep at December 28, 2012 03:52 PM (6TB1Z)

189 You kidding me? Aldous drops in and beats me by a frickin' minute?!

That's the last time I search the webpage to make sure it wasn't posted first... haha

Posted by: Uriah Heep at December 28, 2012 03:52 PM (jhI6f)

190 2012, and we have become insane, and need to be protected for the greater good

Posted by: ette- channeling weird societal ills at December 28, 2012 03:52 PM (nqBYe)

191 One time I used a slingshot to shoot my brother in the ear with a horse
chestnut while he was riding his bike and he crashed into a parked car.>>

My little brother has 2 fake teeth due to me grabbing his bicycles handlebars after I jumped out from behind a tree. (5boys in my family and all but one has a fake front tooth or more from similar boyish roughness).

Posted by: Buzzsaw at December 28, 2012 03:52 PM (Y6HTt)

192 While you're at it, ban cricket balls, too. Have you ever been hit with one of those mothers? OUCH.

And here I thought we had big mosquitos in Texas. We ain't got shit on your crickets.

Posted by: rickb223 at December 28, 2012 03:52 PM (GFM2b)

193 My brother once threw a spade and I caught it with-- my face.

My father once got a sharpened pencil stuck in the palm of his hand when another boy in his class threw it across the room. He still has the scar.

Ban sharp pencils!

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Hobbit at December 28, 2012 03:52 PM (4df7R)

194 *spinning sock above head in a deadly dance of death*

Is that somehow like the ampersand thing around here?

Posted by: filbert at December 28, 2012 03:53 PM (NaNKB)

195 We're way ahead of them, at least on the teeth part. Posted by: The States of Alabama. Mississippi, and Kentucky

Don't forget me!

Posted by: The Proud State of Maine at December 28, 2012 03:53 PM (4df7R)

196 Bacteria and viruses kill millions every year. Why don't we ban them?

Congress is obviously in the pocket of Big Pathogen. What crooks.

Posted by: Flatbush Joe at December 28, 2012 03:53 PM (ZPrif)

197 My uncle got his ear skated--off.

Posted by: tasker at December 28, 2012 03:53 PM (r2PLg)

198 "109 And yet no one talks about banning my personal favorite method of self-defense: a wool sock full of pennies."

And now you know why the Obama administration is taking all our money away from us. To keep us safe.

We should count ourselves lucky he allows us to keep our wool socks.

Posted by: Keith Arnold at December 28, 2012 03:53 PM (n4EDK)

199 Is that somehow like the ampersand thing around here?
Posted by: filbert at December 28, 2012 03:53 PM (NaNKB)


No no. Ampersands are far too heavily regulated.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Hobbit at December 28, 2012 03:53 PM (4df7R)

200 @193

That reminds me, is anyone else here hyped to see Stoker? Probably a bit too early for this discussion, but oh well.

Posted by: JDTAY at December 28, 2012 03:53 PM (a0nis)

201 Tens of thousands of Brits are injured every year by sharp knives, spanning the range of surface wounds to major damage to vital organs.

Please end this senseless bloodshed and ban scalpels.

Posted by: Hollowpoint at December 28, 2012 03:54 PM (SY2Kh)

202 thanks for the lists of things to do! coming to a city near you!

bloomberg .

Posted by: ette at December 28, 2012 03:54 PM (nqBYe)

203 aaand this is the promised linky thing for comment 133.

http://www.law.harvard.edu/students/orgs/jlpp/Vol30_No2_KatesMauseronline.pdf

what a dummy.

Posted by: Whiskey Mike at December 28, 2012 03:54 PM (q++hH)

204 By 2020, we'll be playing Clue and instead of revolver, dagger, rope, and candlestick, we'll kill people with love, harmony, peace, and kindness.

It's going to be utopia, I'm telling you, you just need to trust your betters.

Posted by: Piers Morgan, Voice of Enlightenment at December 28, 2012 03:54 PM (B5s0p)

205 I though this sounded familiar, and yeah it's from seven years ago. It never went anywhere and there is no ban on long chef's knives.

Posted by: Mitchell at December 28, 2012 03:54 PM (JP0dG)

206
183I miss lawn darts.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at December 28, 2012 03:51 PM (UOM4



And Horseshoes...and Croquette.
Lots of potentially lethal weaponry there, with all those spikes and mallets.

Posted by: wheatie at December 28, 2012 03:54 PM (K4wCe)

207 183
I miss lawn darts.


Posted by: Jane D'oh at December 28, 2012 03:51 PM (UOM4

My big toe does not miss lawn darts.....

Posted by: Portnoy at December 28, 2012 03:54 PM (A5Abh)

208 I seem to recall a ban on PLASTIC cutlery when SCOAMF went to an Hispanic rally in Miami last spring.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at December 28, 2012 03:54 PM (XkWWK)

209 Perv.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Hobbit at December 28, 2012 03:51 PM (4df7R)




Nope. Moron.

Posted by: BCochran1981 at December 28, 2012 03:54 PM (IvVLN)

210
Ere you are, guvnah.

Your teeth are a nice pearly grey-green!

Sure as eggs is eggs, we English chappies do love our national health care, we do.

Posted by: British Dentists at December 28, 2012 03:54 PM (54vf8)

211 And here I thought we had big mosquitos in Texas. We ain't got shit on your crickets.
Posted by: rickb223 at December 28, 2012 03:52 PM (GFM2b)


Okay, I laughed. A LOT.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Hobbit at December 28, 2012 03:55 PM (4df7R)

212 When big black cooking pots are outlawed, only outlaws will have big black cooking pots.


Posted by: Some African Cannibals at December 28, 2012 03:48 PM (QKKT0)


Whyz it gotta be BLACK?!?!?!?

Posted by: John Wiley Price at December 28, 2012 03:55 PM (UK9cE)

213 Hmm, I'm sensing a business opportunity here...

Posted by: Vince, the Slap-Chop Guy at December 28, 2012 03:55 PM (yiIja)

214 204 By 2020, we'll be playing Clue and instead of revolver, dagger, rope, and candlestick, we'll kill people with love, harmony, peace, and kindness.

It's going to be utopia, I'm telling you, you just need to trust your betters.
Posted by: Piers Morgan, Voice of Enlightenment at December 28, 2012 03:54 PM (B5s0p)


_______________

Shut up! Piers.

I'm going to beat your ass with a Pogo Stick.

Posted by: tasker at December 28, 2012 03:55 PM (r2PLg)

215 Goddammit, ban those high capacity knives. And those ones with thumb-hole handles too.

Posted by: bacadog at December 28, 2012 03:56 PM (sLH8K)

216 When is Bloomy going to ban subways in NYC?

Posted by: Jane D'oh at December 28, 2012 03:56 PM (UOM48)

217 That reminds me, is anyone else here hyped to see Stoker?


I'm stoked to see Hyper

Posted by: wise-ass fluffy at December 28, 2012 03:56 PM (z9HTb)

218 My girlfriend got rug burns from sexy-time -- should we ban rugs, my dick, her cooch, or just sexy-time in general?

I know we need to ban something, just not sure what.

Posted by: Flatbush Joe at December 28, 2012 03:56 PM (ZPrif)

219 What proportion of the British population is Sikh? The Powers That Be are going to be tripping over their beloved multiculturism in a big way.

Posted by: Polliwog the 'Ette, still a Hobbit at December 28, 2012 03:56 PM (wbeNt)

220
"Ban teeth! "

Considering the subject is the typical Briton, a tooth ban would be quite an aesthetic improvement for the Kingdom.

Posted by: Jaws at December 28, 2012 03:56 PM (4I3Uo)

221 It never went anywhere and there is no ban on long chef's knives.

Mitchell!!!!

(Has riffing on MST3K officially become a sign of old-fart-ness yet?)

Posted by: filbert at December 28, 2012 03:56 PM (NaNKB)

222 I though this sounded familiar, and yeah it's from seven years ago. It never went anywhere and there is no ban on long chef's knives.

hmmmm...well it's the thought that counts right? It heartens me to see that England isn't quite as dumb as I thought.Yet.

Posted by: eleven at December 28, 2012 03:56 PM (fsLdt)

223 wait ... oxygen causes fire ... ban oxygen ... No more fires !!!
man, this whole heaven on earth thing is SOOOOO easy ...

Posted by: JeffC at December 28, 2012 03:57 PM (A3tpD)

224
Banning knives will save lives lost whilst vigorously playing Russian Roulette, with knives.

Posted by: Dr. Varno at December 28, 2012 03:57 PM (j5VOl)

225 My big toe was not missed by the lawn darts.....>>

FIFY

Posted by: Buzzsaw at December 28, 2012 03:57 PM (Y6HTt)

226 Somewhat OT,
Two words: Term Limits
Take the cozy boys and girls club out of the senate with their incestous relationships, back room deals, and God knows what else we don't know about. End big pensions,excessive travel, receiving lobbyist, and give them the same healthcare choices the rest of us have. They owe back taxes? Not eligible to run for election. They have to have a background check with any negatives available for the American public to peruse PRIOR to election.
8 years max. We may end up with Americans in Congress who actually want to accomplish something beyond their own self enrichment.
I never want to see some old doddering, diaper wearing,fool being lauded for his 50 years as a congressman.

Posted by: Cheri at December 28, 2012 03:57 PM (G+Wff)

227 My question is this: what the FUCK happened to Great Britain?

Posted by: TANSTAAFL at December 28, 2012 03:58 PM (tqAT4)

228 Somebody up there said 'Big' and 'Black'....

How YOU doin'?

Posted by: Power Glutes Sullivan at December 28, 2012 03:58 PM (A5Abh)

229 Let's just take all the Brits knives and leave them with sporks.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at December 28, 2012 03:58 PM (UOM48)

230 Remember when beer cans were steel? In my bowling alley parking lot when I was a kid they were rendered flat by the cars. We used them like Chinese throwing stars. A few tetnus shots had to be administered.

Posted by: polynikes at December 28, 2012 03:58 PM (m2CN7)

231 so meat cleavers are cool then ? no pointy end ... just a 8 inch razor sharp blade with a goodly amount of steel behind it ...

Posted by: JeffC at December 28, 2012 03:58 PM (A3tpD)

232 (Has riffing on MST3K officially become a sign of old-fart-ness yet?)
Posted by: filbert at December 28, 2012 03:56 PM (NaNKB)


Gosh I hope not. *surreptitiously closes Word document of Tom Servo quotes*

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Hobbit at December 28, 2012 03:59 PM (4df7R)

233 The story referenced is from 2005. I was suitably outrage-ey then. It gets an officially concerned yawn from me today.

Posted by: Lurking Flaneur at December 28, 2012 03:59 PM (ay6+/)

234 Let's just take all the Brits knives and leave them with sporks.

Less British cooking is a good thing anyhoo.....

Posted by: eleven at December 28, 2012 03:59 PM (fsLdt)

235 One time one of my brothers lured me into the barn to show me something and when I walked in a different brother pushed a big heavy fire door that was propped up against the wall over on me. Maybe it's time to start a national conversation on banning fire doors. Or brothers.

Posted by: Gristle Encased Head at December 28, 2012 03:59 PM (+lsX1)

236 The Night of the Big Potato Peelers just doesn't evoke the sense of menace.

Posted by: A. Hitler at December 28, 2012 03:59 PM (QKKT0)

237 All politicians are just DYING for lemmings to lead.

Posted by: John Wiley Price at December 28, 2012 04:00 PM (UK9cE)

238 My question is this: what the FUCK happened to Great Britain?
Posted by: TANSTAAFL at December 28, 2012 03:58 PM (tqAT4)


My British mother asks that every day. Though she says it with a bit of an accent, and only rarely says "fuck."

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Hobbit at December 28, 2012 04:00 PM (4df7R)

239 Posted by: Cheri at December 28, 2012 03:57 PM (G+Wff)

And no F'n Golden Retirement Plans....

They should serve... get their salary, then go home and do somthing usefull... not live off the Taxpayers Tit the rest of their lives...

Posted by: Romeo13 at December 28, 2012 04:00 PM (lZBBB)

240 Damn sock.

Posted by: © Sponge at December 28, 2012 04:00 PM (UK9cE)

241 I never want to see some old doddering, diaper wearing,fool being lauded for his 50 years as a congressman.

Bless your heart.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, who did not vote for this shit. at December 28, 2012 04:00 PM (yiIja)

242
re: Mitchell

the scene with the pesky kid was weird

Posted by: soothsayer at December 28, 2012 04:00 PM (G/zuv)

243 Once in elementary school, my sister slipped on a patch of ice on the hill where we lived while walking home from the bus stop, slipped into the road and almost got run over by a school bus.

We need to have a national conversation about banning school buses.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Hobbit at December 28, 2012 04:01 PM (4df7R)

244 235 One time one of my brothers lured me into the barn to show me something and when I walked in a different brother pushed a big heavy fire door that was propped up against the wall over on me. Maybe it's time to start a national conversation on banning fire doors. Or brothers.
Posted by: Gristle Encased Head at December 28, 2012 03:59 PM (+lsX1)

_____________________

Well--with China's One Child Policy--

Brothers Be Banned.

Posted by: tasker at December 28, 2012 04:01 PM (r2PLg)

245 While we're addressing the chef's knife crisis, some attention also needs to be paid to the hidden threat of fireplace pokers.

Posted by: Edward II at December 28, 2012 04:02 PM (QKKT0)

246 Posted by: John Wiley Price at December 28, 2012 03:55 PM (UK9cE)

::slow golf clap::

Posted by: Math at December 28, 2012 04:02 PM (O7Q1u)

247 Who's laughing now, huh? Damn straight

Posted by: The boy in the bubble at December 28, 2012 04:02 PM (tdaam)

248 Whatever is not mandatory is forbidden. Fascism at its most pure.

Remember like a week and a half ago I was tellig you about this exact thing?

Posted by: Truman North (D) at December 28, 2012 04:03 PM (I2LwF)

249 I fell out of a tree. Second look at trees?

Or would the Soma take care of that?

Posted by: eleven at December 28, 2012 04:03 PM (fsLdt)

250 While we're addressing the chef's knife crisis, some attention also needs to be paid to the hidden threat of fireplace pokers.
Posted by: Edward II at December 28, 2012 04:02 PM (QKKT0)


And freshly mortared brick walls. This really needs to be stressed.

Posted by: That guy from The Cask of Amontillado at December 28, 2012 04:03 PM (4df7R)

251 243 Once in elementary school, my sister slipped on a patch of ice on the hill where we lived while walking home from the bus stop, slipped into the road and almost got run over by a school bus.

We need to have a national conversation about banning school buses ice .

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Hobbit at December 28, 2012 04:01 PM (4df7R)

Posted by: BCochran1981 at December 28, 2012 04:03 PM (IvVLN)

252
I think we're all old enough to remember the switch to pull-tabs on cans.

That might've been my/our earliest memory of The Law interfering with our lives for the sake of safety because a handful of idiots could not negotiate opening a can of soda without suffering a laceration.


Posted by: soothsayer at December 28, 2012 04:03 PM (G/zuv)

253 sock off

Posted by: Vizzini at December 28, 2012 04:04 PM (O7Q1u)

254 To the left, freedom is coloring your hair weird and wearing bizarre clothes.

Posted by: Bevel Lemelisk at December 28, 2012 04:04 PM (uhAkr)

255 We weaally welcom your kind move is disarm. Hurry now, chop chop.

Posted by: Your Chicom Overlords at December 28, 2012 04:04 PM (fajWp)

256 O/T Dallas radio station erroneously reports death of George H. W. Bush.

There's some weapons grade hate for the old fellow in the liberals' comments.

http://tinyurl.com/dx2fsva




Posted by: Jane D'oh at December 28, 2012 04:04 PM (UOM48)

257 We need to have a national conversation about banning school buses ice .

Heh. That, too!

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Hobbit at December 28, 2012 04:04 PM (4df7R)

258 Posted by: eleven at December 28, 2012 04:03 PM (fsLdt)


Nah, Obama Executive Order to no longer Enforce the Law of Gravity...

Posted by: Romeo13 at December 28, 2012 04:04 PM (lZBBB)

259 Pokers???

We need to have a conversation on "Pokers"

and 'Big' and 'Black'...I'm ready for that conversation..

...drooling for that conversation....

Posted by: Power Glutes Sullivan at December 28, 2012 04:04 PM (A5Abh)

260 Know what I miss? I miss the world not controlled by the stupidist, most mentally derelict, dysfunctional, meglomaniac morons not even the three stooges could have imagined. Thats what I miss.

Posted by: maddogg at December 28, 2012 04:04 PM (OlN4e)

261 88.5k signatures on the Piers Morgan petition. Tell him he can take the cutlery ban with him.

Posted by: USA at December 28, 2012 04:05 PM (RIg+t)

262
The Corvair, seat belts, and Whathisface are a little before my time.

Posted by: soothsayer at December 28, 2012 04:05 PM (G/zuv)

263 Eh. This is just a call to make life easier for Doctors in the U.K. Since they are on the government dole, they get paid whether they are seeing patients or not. And like most doctors, they would rather not.

Posted by: Darth Randall at December 28, 2012 04:05 PM (mV8sg)

264 >>>Remember when beer cans were steel?


That's what always irked me about Animal House. Belushi smashing a beer can of that era into his head would have given him a concussion.

Posted by: Dr. Varno at December 28, 2012 04:05 PM (j5VOl)

265 We need to have a national conversation about banning school buses.>>

This because during the winter when the roads are icy they lure young boys to scitch* on their bumpers which is very dangerous.

*no clue if there is a real word for this but that's what we called it.

Posted by: Buzzsaw at December 28, 2012 04:05 PM (Y6HTt)

266
239
And no F'n Golden Retirement Plans....

They should serve... get their salary, then go home and do somthing usefull... not live off the Taxpayers Tit the rest of their lives...

Posted by: Romeo13 at December 28, 2012 04:00 PM (lZBBB)

-------------

Oh hell yes.
Personally, I say we get rid of all government pensions...except for Military service.

The people who put their life on the line, yes.
I don't have a problem with pensions for them...seems only fair.

But all others, fuck em.
Let them get out in the private sector and bust their asses to create a pension plan for themselves.

The whole idea of a 'government pension' got started with a pension for our Veterans.
We should go back to that.

Posted by: wheatie at December 28, 2012 04:05 PM (K4wCe)

267 88.5k signatures on the Piers Morgan petition. Tell him he can take the cutlery ban with him.
Posted by: USA at December 28, 2012 04:05 PM (RIg+t)


Heh. The brits have a similar petition that essentially says, "We don't want him back!"

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Hobbit at December 28, 2012 04:05 PM (4df7R)

268 BAN SUBWAY PLATFORMS!!!!!!!!!!

Posted by: TANSTAAFL at December 28, 2012 04:06 PM (tqAT4)

269 We should have a national discussion about big tits, since chicks occasionally try to smother me with them.

Posted by: rdbrewer at December 28, 2012 04:06 PM (Iyg03)

270 Posted by: maddogg at December 28, 2012 04:04 PM (OlN4e)

Hail... Hail... Freedonia... Land of the Braveeeee... and...... Free.....

Posted by: Rufus T. Firefly at December 28, 2012 04:06 PM (lZBBB)

271
I do remember "Regular" gas, though. Quite fondly, too.

I remember we all felt like idiots putting fancy unleaded in our lawn mowers.

Posted by: soothsayer at December 28, 2012 04:06 PM (G/zuv)

272 We should have a national discussion about big tits, since chicks occasionally try to smother me with them.
Posted by: rdbrewer at December 28, 2012 04:06 PM (Iyg03)


Now come on, rdbrewer. This is a forum for airing legitimate complaints, not fantasy wishcasting.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Hobbit at December 28, 2012 04:07 PM (4df7R)

273 They should serve... get their salary, then go home and do somthing usefull... not live off the Taxpayers Tit the rest of their lives...

We would have to get rid of all the "aides, advisors and staff" as well as all the lobbyists. I'm good with that.

Posted by: Infidel at December 28, 2012 04:07 PM (O/fK8)

274 That might've been my/our earliest memory of The Law interfering with our lives for the sake of safety because a handful of idiots could not negotiate opening a can of soda without suffering a laceration.

I'll put on the pedant hat and add that that was due to all the nasty little curly pieces of sharp dirty metal laying around waiting to get stepped on. Especially at places where people were walking around barefoot like beaches etc...

Think Jimmy Buffet.

Posted by: eleven at December 28, 2012 04:08 PM (fsLdt)

275 The Brits can't be trusted with kitchen knives, but we don't get too concerned when the fucking mullahs build a fucking nuke. Idiots.

Posted by: maddogg at December 28, 2012 04:08 PM (OlN4e)

276 267 88.5k signatures on the Piers Morgan petition. Tell him he can take the cutlery ban with him.
Posted by: USA at December 28, 2012 04:05 PM (RIg+t)

Heh. The brits have a similar petition that essentially says, "We don't want him back!"
Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Hobbit at December 28, 2012 04:05 PM (4df7R)

-----

I've been called the Skip Bayless of CNN. I'm not quite certain what that means, but I imagine it is quite complimentary!

Posted by: Piers Morgan, Voice of Enlightenment at December 28, 2012 04:08 PM (SgWU/)

277 269 We should have a national discussion about big tits, since chicks occasionally try to smother me with them.

Posted by: rdbrewer at December 28, 2012 04:06 PM (Iyg03)



Huh. I did not know that "occasionally" was synonymous with "never". Learn something new everyday around here.

Posted by: BCochran1981 at December 28, 2012 04:09 PM (IvVLN)

278
"Since no human being needs to do anything besides work and eat,
we might as well mandate that people take a powerful narcotic sleeping
pill immediately after their evening meal, so they simply slumber until
the next work shift."

I saw this plan on Serenity. Didn't end that well.
With my luck, I'd turn into a reaver.
Which does have does its upside.

Posted by: RayJ at December 28, 2012 04:09 PM (LYiL5)

279 We should ban knives to prevent people from being knifed to death. We also should ban guns to prevent people from being shot to death. But we should not have anti-narcotics laws anywhere, because those are stupid, self- defeating, inefficient, too costly and ineffective. The same holds true for anti- terrorism laws.

Posted by: Airheaded Liberal Idiot in Liberal Arts Program at December 28, 2012 04:09 PM (pmsMR)

280 Think Jimmy Buffet.
Posted by: eleven at December 28, 2012 04:08 PM (fsLdt)


Ah, yes. Another reason to hate Jimmy Buffet's "music."

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Hobbit at December 28, 2012 04:09 PM (4df7R)

281 273
They should serve... get their salary, then go home and do somthing
usefull... not live off the Taxpayers Tit the rest of their lives...




^^^this^^^


However, it begs the question: What would Joey Biden, Harry Reid, et al do in the private sector? Dog walking?

Posted by: Jane D'oh at December 28, 2012 04:09 PM (UOM48)

282 That's what always irked me about Animal House. Belushi smashing a beer can of that era into his head would have given him a concussion.


Posted by: Dr. Varno at December 28, 2012 04:05 PM (j5VOl)


And.... just how would you TELL if Bluto had a concussion?

Posted by: Flounder at December 28, 2012 04:09 PM (lZBBB)

283 We should have a national discussion about big tits, since chicks occasionally try to smother me with them.


Posted by: rdbrewer at December 28, 2012 04:06 PM (Iyg03)


Yeah, too occasionally.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at December 28, 2012 04:09 PM (QKKT0)

284 However, it begs the question: What would Joey Biden, Harry Reid, et al do in the private sector? Dog walking?
Posted by: Jane D'oh at December 28, 2012 04:09 PM (UOM4


I wouldn't trust any of them near my dog. And I don't own a dog.

My answer to your question would be, "Hopefully die quickly." Because hey, Alan Grayson is a lunatic, but in some things I have to admit he was prophetic.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Hobbit at December 28, 2012 04:11 PM (4df7R)

285 Dammit.

*sigh*


I really need a drink, but as mentioned before, the only booze in the house is Crown Royal Maple.

Posted by: BCochran1981 at December 28, 2012 04:11 PM (IvVLN)

286 178
Can we get a ban hammer?
Posted by: fluffy at December 28, 2012 03:50 PM (z9HTb)
---

See? Now they're trying to ban hammers!

Posted by: JeremiadBullfrog at December 28, 2012 04:11 PM (Y5I9o)

287 Obama will be happy to demonstrate that being fucked in the ass repeatedly by many, many promiscuous homosexuals unknown to you does not give you increased exposure to AIDS.

Posted by: model_1066 at December 28, 2012 04:11 PM (zQSpX)

288 283 We should have a national discussion about big tits, since chicks occasionally try to smother me with them.
Posted by: rdbrewer at December 28, 2012 04:06 PM (Iyg03)

There is a medical term for that: Euphoria

Posted by: USA at December 28, 2012 04:11 PM (RIg+t)

289
Posted by: That guy from The Cask of Amontillado \==
==============
guess we need to ban casks...and barrels too?

Posted by: eurw at December 28, 2012 04:12 PM (ZzPDo)

290 This iskilling several birds with one stonefor the hippies. They want to prevent people from eating meat, how are people going to eat meat if they don't have anything to cut it with? And then how are people going to have their pudding if they don't end their meat? No more killing people with knives, no more eating meat, reduced consumption of sugary products: it's a Liberal win-win-win!!!!

Posted by: Uncle Milty at December 28, 2012 04:12 PM (YsFN3)

291 None of the chefs felt such knives were essential, since the point of a short blade was just as useful when a sharp end was needed.


The point of a short blade when shoved into an eye or an ear is just as deadly.


I know we've been over this ad nauseam, but what about rocks and sticks and bare hands. A kitchen towel is very useful to strangle someone. String is an excellent garrote. Then there's always the classic of a pair of heels, a lighter and hairspray aka stilettos and a flamethrower.


This is entirely about the denial of agency and free will. It's not that you chose to get drunk and you chose to do that. No, no, the evil knife/gun/whatever emitted homicide rays that made you do it.


People have been killing the hell out of each other for millenia. That is not going to stop because pointy shooty things are banned.

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD. Now with extra cross stitch. at December 28, 2012 04:12 PM (VtjlW)

292 what else?

oh yeah, the new law requiring all pajamas to be flame retardant


Posted by: soothsayer at December 28, 2012 04:13 PM (G/zuv)

293 289

Posted by: That guy from The Cask of Amontillado \==
==============
guess we need to ban casks...and barrels too?

Posted by: eurw at December 28, 2012 04:12 PM (ZzPDo)

No, just bricks and mortar.

Posted by: model_1066 at December 28, 2012 04:13 PM (zQSpX)

294 Liberal do gooder policies fail, but it doesn't matter, because it feels sooo good to pretend that you are solving a problem.

Posted by: nerdygirl at December 28, 2012 04:13 PM (9lZO4)

295 They're Nanny State libtards. It was predictable.

Posted by: SFC MAC at December 28, 2012 04:13 PM (TLbgU)

296 Time to find a different sporting goods store:


Russell Kellner of Flower Mound, Texas, ordered three Troy Defense
Carbine Semi-Automatic Rifles from Dick’s Sporting Goods on Black
Friday,CBS 11 Newsreports.

At $799 apiece, a savings of $300 dollars, it “was a heck of a deal,” he said.

However, Kellner and his wife received only two of the three guns.
They received a letter from Dick’s on Christmas Eve stating that the
company would not fulfill the remainder of their order.

Dick’s announced a week before Christmas that it was suspending sales
of “modern sporting rifles” in all stores, “out of respect for the
victims of the Connecticut massacre,” CBS News 11 notes.

Dick’s has announced they will be issuing full refunds. The sporting
goods store even sent $100 gift cards to customers with unfulfilled
orders.

Posted by: © Sponge at December 28, 2012 04:14 PM (UK9cE)

297 oh yeah, the new law requiring all pajamas to be flame retardant

We flamed the retardant on the last thread.

Posted by: Vizzini at December 28, 2012 04:14 PM (O7Q1u)

298
and the law requiring all 1986 and newer model cars to have a "third" brake light


Posted by: soothsayer at December 28, 2012 04:14 PM (G/zuv)

299 As far as being suffocated by big tits......

I endeavor to suffocate myself on any size boobies I can find.

Posted by: eleven at December 28, 2012 04:14 PM (fsLdt)

300 Posted by: © Sponge at December 28, 2012 04:14 PM (UK9cE)

Those dicks!

Posted by: model_1066 at December 28, 2012 04:15 PM (zQSpX)

301 oh yeah, the new law requiring all pajamas to be flame retardant>>

Are you talking about "snuggies"? Cause yes they look retarded.

Posted by: Buzzsaw at December 28, 2012 04:15 PM (Y6HTt)

302 Leftards never solve problems, they just apply a new coat of paint.

Posted by: maddogg at December 28, 2012 04:15 PM (OlN4e)

303 Want me knife?

Fork you, wanker.

Posted by: Brit Twit at December 28, 2012 04:15 PM (v9Cj5)

304 I hereby call for a ban on imbecility.

Posted by: Mirror-Universe Mitt Romney at December 28, 2012 04:15 PM (8hrco)

305 What these idiots should want to ban are hands. All hands should be amputated. After all there are no shootings or knife wounds if no one has hands.

Posted by: ALL_IS_LOST at December 28, 2012 04:15 PM (T/L2Z)

306 Dick’s has announced they will be issuing full refunds. The sporting

goods store even sent $100 gift cards to customers with unfulfilled

orders.

WtF?? So they didn't just pull that name out of a hat...

Posted by: Portnoy at December 28, 2012 04:16 PM (A5Abh)

307 We need to have a national conversation about banning school buses ice .

Heh. That, too!

Mess with my single malt scotch and next we'll be discussing bans on lives. And ice comes too close.

Posted by: rickb223 at December 28, 2012 04:16 PM (GFM2b)

308 BAN ICICLES!!!!!

Posted by: TANSTAAFL at December 28, 2012 04:16 PM (tqAT4)

309
not supposed to use clorox in the washer or sinks in the eu...but the bx's sell it
not supposed to kill stingy things/spideys in your eu house, but i can buy raid at the bx

how long until eu's laws do come to the states?

Posted by: eurw at December 28, 2012 04:16 PM (ZzPDo)

310 302
Leftards never solve problems, they just apply a new coat of paint.

Posted by: maddogg at December 28, 2012 04:15 PM (OlN4e)

Seems like their solutions usually create two more problems in its place.

Posted by: model_1066 at December 28, 2012 04:16 PM (zQSpX)

311 Pricks???

Posted by: Portnoy at December 28, 2012 04:17 PM (A5Abh)

312 Man, I think its getting to where a whole lot of people need to be pushed into the fucking sea.

Posted by: Berserker at December 28, 2012 04:17 PM (FMbng)

313 299
As far as being suffocated by big tits......

Only a RWNJ would make light of titterboarding. It's just one of the crimes that McCain must answer for.

Posted by: J. Moses Browning at December 28, 2012 04:17 PM (QrBwK)

314 Never go full retardant.

Posted by: Dr. Varno at December 28, 2012 04:17 PM (j5VOl)

315 Seems like their solutions usually create two more problems in its place.
Posted by: model_1066 at December 28, 2012 04:16 PM (zQSpX) More paint. Always, more paint.

Posted by: maddogg at December 28, 2012 04:18 PM (OlN4e)

316 308
BAN ICICLES!!!!!




Have you ever seen the huge ones that hang from buildings in Chicago in the winter? Crikey.

They have to put barriers up to keep you from walking under them.

Now if they could just figure out how to get the gangbangers to walk under them....


Posted by: Jane D'oh at December 28, 2012 04:18 PM (UOM48)

317 We are also putting out legislation banning hands. If no one has hands, they cannot use knives, punch or strangle others.

The NHS, in coordination with our Muslim Overlords, will work on chopping off the hands of all British Subjects.

Posted by: The House of Lords at December 28, 2012 04:18 PM (z63Tr)

318 However, it begs the question: What would Joey Biden, Harry Reid, et al do in the private sector? Dog walking?

Paste eating. It's the only thing they are qualified for now.

Posted by: rickb223 at December 28, 2012 04:19 PM (GFM2b)

319
oh, and Christmas lights!

thanks to stupid lawmakers, if one bulb goes out, they all go out -- good luck finding the burnt bulb

Posted by: soothsayer at December 28, 2012 04:19 PM (G/zuv)

320 "317 We are also putting out legislation banning hands. If no one has hands, they cannot use knives, punch or strangle others.

The NHS, in coordination with our Muslim Overlords, will work on chopping off the hands of all British Subjects.

Posted by: The House of Lords at December 28, 2012 04:18 PM (z63Tr) "

Makes sense.

Posted by: Mirror-Universe Mitt Romney at December 28, 2012 04:19 PM (8hrco)

321 I guess we'll have to ban snakes, too. Someone will surely bring them on an m'-f'ing plane.

Posted by: AnonymousDrivel at December 28, 2012 04:20 PM (eHIJJ)

322 I think a large number of stabbings are just people cleaning their knives when they accidently go off.

Posted by: Dr. Varno at December 28, 2012 04:21 PM (j5VOl)

323 LIB

Posted by: Soona at December 28, 2012 04:21 PM (uTKu9)

324 Oh, noes.
Does this mean we're going to be subjected to one of those idiotic celebrity ads?

"How come every Celebrities-Endorse-a-Policy-or-Candidate commercial is the exact same type -- each one saying one or two words, that word repeated by multiple speakers with minor variations, etc.?"

Knives!

Knives.

Drunks.

Drunks with knives

Even the oh so pretty Jon Hamm can't make that kind of crap watchable.

Posted by: nerdygirl at December 28, 2012 04:21 PM (9lZO4)

325 After watching the TV series Oz, I fully support banning prison shanks.

I don't know why nobody has considered it before.

Posted by: Hollowpoint at December 28, 2012 04:22 PM (SY2Kh)

326 From the looks of the british toothbrushes have been banned for some time

Posted by: The Jackhole on Ventura Highway at December 28, 2012 04:23 PM (/7Xis)

327 and lawnmowers

now they ALL come with that stupid safety kill-switch bar thing

Posted by: soothsayer at December 28, 2012 04:23 PM (G/zuv)

328 Paste eating. It's the only thing they are qualified for now.

I consider that a hobbie, not a jobs.

Posted by: Joe Biden at December 28, 2012 04:24 PM (SY2Kh)

329 Well, it looks like we won't be getting a new thread any time soon, so I guess I'll go grocery shopping.

Posted by: Soona at December 28, 2012 04:24 PM (uTKu9)

330 and lawnmowers

now they ALL come with that stupid safety kill-switch bar thing

Double sided velcro fixes that sob.

Posted by: rickb223 at December 28, 2012 04:25 PM (GFM2b)

331 >>>Soma, from Huxley's Brave New World

>>>You're slipping, Ace. ;-)

I didn't actually read it. I think I skimmed it and faked it for class.

I spent years 15 until recently basically trying to avoid any possible contamination by education or even reading.

Posted by: ace at December 28, 2012 04:25 PM (LCRYB)

332 Wasn't there a story last year or so, about one Brit department store either banning the sale of cutlery (including butter knives) or requiring id for the purchase?

Posted by: Mike Hunt at December 28, 2012 04:25 PM (G6kli)

333 319
oh, and Christmas lights!

thanks to stupid lawmakers, if one bulb goes out, they all go out -- good luck finding the burnt bulb
Posted by: soothsayer at December 28, 2012 04:19 PM (G/zuv) Here's one for ya Sooth, how 'bout them fabulous souper safe gov'ment approved fuel cans, huh? Motherfuckers take three hands to operate, resulting in fucking gas all over you and whatever you are trying to put it in. I am sooooooo Goddamned impressed with my betters.

Posted by: maddogg at December 28, 2012 04:25 PM (OlN4e)

334 'Thank you for the gift - it worked!' Chilling letter from woman who stabbed her partner 30 times to... http://bit.ly/UtJeI7

Posted by: phoenixgirl, Merry 4th day of Christmas at December 28, 2012 04:26 PM (GVxQo)

335 How about bananas, passion fruit?

Posted by: phillip fry at December 28, 2012 04:26 PM (Jsiw/)

336 Another time one of my brothers ambushed me with an electric weed eater, which hurt way worse than you would expect.

Posted by: Gristle Encased Head at December 28, 2012 04:27 PM (+lsX1)

337
hah, yes, the fuel can contraptions!

Posted by: soothsayer at December 28, 2012 04:27 PM (G/zuv)

338 327 and lawnmowers

now they ALL come with that stupid safety kill-switch bar thing

Posted by: soothsayer at December 28, 2012 04:23 PM (G/zuv)

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fan_death

Fan death is a widely held belief in South Korea that an electric fan left running overnight in a closed room can cause the death of those sleeping inside. All fans sold in South Korea come with an automatic timer that turns the fan off after a certain number of minutes.[1] Scientific consensus holds that fan death is a myth.[2]

Posted by: Mike Hunt at December 28, 2012 04:27 PM (G6kli)

339 A drunk bit me when we were bouncing him. I required stitches and antibiotics.
When will teeth be outlawed?

Posted by: Dept. of Accuracy Dept. at December 28, 2012 04:28 PM (+I8Mq)

340 When will teeth be outlawed?


Posted by: Dept. of Accuracy Dept. at December 28, 2012 04:28 PM
-------
They almost are in the U.K.

Posted by: Lurking Flaneur at December 28, 2012 04:29 PM (ay6+/)

341 Motherfuckers take three hands to operate, resulting in fucking gas all
over you and whatever you are trying to put it in. I am sooooooo
Goddamned impressed with my betters.>>

Yes those crappy things do way more harm than good.

Posted by: Buzzsaw at December 28, 2012 04:29 PM (Y6HTt)

342 Outlaw impulses.

Posted by: Dr. Varno at December 28, 2012 04:30 PM (j5VOl)

343 they ALL come with that stupid safety kill-switch bar thing



Posted by: soothsayer at December 28, 2012 04:23 PM

Wire ties were invented specifically for lashing them down permanently.

Posted by: Dept. of Accuracy Dept. at December 28, 2012 04:31 PM (+I8Mq)

344 "They argued many assaults are committed impulsively, prompted by alcohol and drugs, and a kitchen knife often makes an all too available weapon."

See, now this is interesting. Wouldn't it make much more sense then to outlaw alcohol? But of course, every Leftist knows that you can't outlaw alcohol.

The Leftist mind is a funny thing. Funny and tragic.

Posted by: Mirror-Universe Mitt Romney at December 28, 2012 04:31 PM (8hrco)

345 Wire ties were invented specifically for lashing them down permanently.
Posted by: Dept. of Accuracy Dept. at December 28, 2012 04:31 PM (+I8Mq) In that case, you will have to install an alternative method to kill the damn engine.

Posted by: maddogg at December 28, 2012 04:32 PM (OlN4e)

346 I keep the electric fan running all night because it keeps the cat from sitting on my chest and sucking all the air out of my lungs.

Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at December 28, 2012 04:32 PM (BuSM8)

347 Let's just put Fisher-Price in charge of all future product design.

Posted by: Michael Rittenhouse at December 28, 2012 04:33 PM (2Oas0)

348 The clock is striking thirteen.

Posted by: General Zod at December 28, 2012 04:34 PM (2+bRt)

349 They argued many assaults are committed impulsively, prompted by alcohol
and drugs, and a kitchen knife often makes an all too available weapon.

***
Eh...I don't think they have a knife problem.

Posted by: dananjcon at December 28, 2012 04:34 PM (jvd3N)

350 maddogg: "how 'bout them fabulous souper safe gov'ment
approved fuel cans, huh?..."


Sing it, bro. The most craptacular idea foisted upon my garage. Good God what a POS all those non-spill spouts are. I never spilled a drop when it was just an unencumbered nozzle. Now? It's a fookin' fire hazard from all the spillage... 'cause I wasn't born a mutant, three-handed knuckledragger.

Posted by: AnonymousDrivel at December 28, 2012 04:36 PM (eHIJJ)

351 maddog, I tighten a zip tie just enough to slip it around the kill bar and handle so I don't have to hold the bar and just slip it down the side to kill the engine.

Posted by: ErikW on the damned phone at December 28, 2012 04:36 PM (MB5Wa)

352 Just don't outlaw munching.

Posted by: Madonna at December 28, 2012 04:36 PM (DrC22)

353 I got a thing for my father to solve the gas can spout thing. Put a bracket on his shed o hold the gas can an the siphon filler at the link. Kinda slow but this way he Don't need to hold the heavy can while filling.

http://tinyurl.com/boayp3p

Posted by: Buzzsaw at December 28, 2012 04:37 PM (Y6HTt)

354 "350 maddogg: "how 'bout them fabulous souper safe gov'ment
approved fuel cans, huh?..."

Sing it, bro. The most craptacular idea foisted upon my garage. Good God what a POS all those non-spill spouts are. I never spilled a drop when it was just an unencumbered nozzle. Now? It's a fookin' fire hazard from all the spillage... 'cause I wasn't born a mutant, three-handed knuckledragger.

Posted by: AnonymousDrivel at December 28, 2012 04:36 PM (eHIJJ) "

Sometimes choice is good, sometimes choice is bad. It's all so confusing...

Posted by: Mirror-Universe Mitt Romney at December 28, 2012 04:38 PM (8hrco)

355 Attempt to get rid of God and objective moral values and your society goes down the tubes. They are trying to change the wrong end of the commission of violence. It's the culturally impoverished people, stupid!

Posted by: Michael Babbitt at December 28, 2012 04:38 PM (p/jtE)

356 I find it interesting that the greatest end of ideal liberalism isn't a society that is enlightened to the point where they do not do things to each other but rather a mechanism is set up so that we can't do things to each other.

Posted by: Former Mass. Resident at December 28, 2012 04:38 PM (5/DFH)

357 >>>I tighten a zip tie just enough to slip it around the kill bar and handle so I don't have to hold the bar and just slip it down the side to kill the engine.

That sounds like Dungeon Talk.

Posted by: Dr. Varno at December 28, 2012 04:38 PM (j5VOl)

358

348The clock is striking thirteen.

What's striking is...all the 'thirteens' that are coming.

The 113th Congress...
Beginning in the year 2013.
The Mayan 13th Baktun has also just started.

Posted by: wheatie at December 28, 2012 04:39 PM (K4wCe)

359 347
Let's just put Fisher-Price in charge of all future product design.




Hell, they even killed the Easy Bake Oven. Made the light bulb in it weaker or something.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at December 28, 2012 04:39 PM (UOM48)

360 More Limeys are injured by stumbling out of the entrance of the local pub than by stabby culinarians.

Posted by: Fritz at December 28, 2012 04:39 PM (w3+gB)

361 Three bowl games on today and no cheerleaders?

Must be due to the danger of stabbings from sharp elbows

Posted by: kbdabear at December 28, 2012 04:39 PM (wwsoB)

362 BAN ICICLES!!!!!

Posted by: TANSTAAFL at December 28, 2012 04:16 PM (tqAT4)

Yes, they've been known to kill people!

Posted by: Ralphie Parker's Mom at December 28, 2012 04:40 PM (BAS5M)

363 I think we're all old enough to remember the switch to pull-tabs on cans. That might've been my/our earliest memory of The Law interfering with our lives for the sake of safety because a handful of idiots could not negotiate opening a can of soda without suffering a laceration.
Posted by: soothsayer at December 28, 2012 04:03 PM (G/zuv)

I don't know about lacerations but I will admit to almost swallowing the pull tab once or twice. I didn't throw it on the ground but rather just put it into the can. Almost damnned my conviction not to litter!!

Posted by: polynikes at December 28, 2012 04:41 PM (m2CN7)

364 I don't really mind the kill bar on the lawnmower. I once watched a woman leave a running mower on the patio with her 2 year old playing 6 feet from it to go in and answer the phone. I stood there 10 minutes in case I had to go run across the street tosave it getting cut off hands or feet until the idiot came back from her important conversation. I'm sure she was a democrat.

Posted by: maddogg at December 28, 2012 04:41 PM (OlN4e)

365 Safety cans are fucking worthless.

How someone can manufacture something that leaks at every joint and connection and call it "safe" can only be a government employee.

Posted by: ErikW on the damned phone at December 28, 2012 04:41 PM (MB5Wa)

366 "This is getting pretty scary, huh? They truly are determined to control
people to the point where they can't (their theory goes) do anything
bad, ever, simply because their freedoms and permitted choices are so
limited."

And regardless of leftists' denials here in the U.S., this is exactly where the road they want to go down leads to.

Posted by: Blacque Jacques Shellacque at December 28, 2012 04:41 PM (A3ftE)

367 We need to ban kegs of malmsy wine.

Posted by: Duke of Clarence at December 28, 2012 04:42 PM (9lZO4)

368 Where are the trolls coming on here to tell us that the "cons" won't let everyone just live their lives and be left alone?

Posted by: kbdabear at December 28, 2012 04:42 PM (wwsoB)

369 "355 Attempt to get rid of God and objective moral values and your society goes down the tubes. They are trying to change the wrong end of the commission of violence. It's the culturally impoverished people, stupid!

Posted by: Michael Babbitt at December 28, 2012 04:38 PM (p/jtE) "

Let's see:

1) Tell people that they are nothing but animals.

2) Tell people that they should strive to be nothing but animals.

3) Tell people that (Western) culture is evil. That it is therefore much better to be profoundly ignorant.

4) Expose people to large quantities of glamorized violence 24/7.

5) Do a whole bunch of other retarded things.


Yeah, I just don't see how this could end badly.

Posted by: Mirror-Universe Mitt Romney at December 28, 2012 04:45 PM (8hrco)

370 318
However, it begs the question: What would Joey Biden, Harry Reid, et al do in the private sector? Dog walking?



Paste eating. It's the only thing they are qualified for now.

xxx

They will need to get on the list to apply for our apprenticeship program. Right now, we expect the next opening on said list to be ni 2023. But we appreciate the interest and wish Mr. Biden, Reid and others best of luck as future recipients of government largesse.

Posted by: The National Union of Paste Eaters at December 28, 2012 04:45 PM (z63Tr)

371 Safety cans are fucking worthless.



How someone can manufacture something that leaks at every joint and
connection and call it "safe" can only be a government employee.

Posted by: ErikW on the damned phone at December 28, 2012 04:41 PM (MB5Wa)


Like my brother says. By gays, for gays.

Posted by: © Sponge at December 28, 2012 04:45 PM (UK9cE)

372 nood Coodle post up

Posted by: soothsayer at December 28, 2012 04:46 PM (G/zuv)

373 "356 I find it interesting that the greatest end of ideal liberalism isn't a society that is enlightened to the point where they do not do things to each other but rather a mechanism is set up so that we can't do things to each other.

Posted by: Former Mass. Resident at December 28, 2012 04:38 PM (5/DFH) "

It's almost as if Liberals hate liberty.

Posted by: Mirror-Universe Mitt Romney at December 28, 2012 04:46 PM (8hrco)

374 This gun control thing is really making me claustrophobic. Lefty ambition for power doesn't get more naked than this.

Posted by: Yoshi, Aggrieved Victim of the White Man at December 28, 2012 04:47 PM (NLjUW)

375 In that case, you will have to install an alternative method to kill the damn engine.

Posted by: maddogg at December 28, 2012 04:32 PM

Follow the wire from under the bar and somewhere along the circuit cut the wire and hook up a $2.50 lamp switch.

Posted by: Dept. of Accuracy Dept. at December 28, 2012 04:48 PM (+I8Mq)

376 Remember that 15 year old Occupy weirdo who killed both his parents?

Strangulation and bludgeoning with his bare hands. How do lefties, many of which are either weak men or women, delude themselves into believing a weapon-free society is a safe society.

Posted by: Yoshi, Aggrieved Victim of the White Man at December 28, 2012 04:49 PM (NLjUW)

377 : "how 'bout them fabulous souper safe gov'ment
approved fuel cans, huh?..."

Sing it, bro. The most craptacular idea foisted upon my garage. Good God what a POS all those non-spill spouts are. I never spilled a drop when it was just an unencumbered nozzle. Now? It's a fookin' fire hazard from all the spillage... 'cause I wasn't born a mutant, three-handed knuckledragger.

Pssssss! The gray 5 gallon water jug sold at Northern Tools uses the same size spout as the gas can WITHOUT the CARB nozzle. Fuckin' kali. Messing up stuff for the rest of the country. CARB = California Air Resources Board

Posted by: rickb223 at December 28, 2012 04:50 PM (GFM2b)

378 283 We should have a national discussion about big tits, since chicks occasionally try to smother me with them. Posted by: rdbrewer at December 28, 2012 04:06 PM (Iyg03)

Go for a government grant to study the problem.

Posted by: JB1000 at December 28, 2012 04:52 PM (Ws44U)

379 Keep your laws off of my food!

I hate these a holes.

Posted by: Y-not on the phone at December 28, 2012 04:53 PM (HQX6o)

380 Are horse chestnuts anything like road apples? If so, ban them, too.

Posted by: Pecan Scandi at December 28, 2012 04:54 PM (yvSVk)

381 373

I think they're afraid of it. Liberty causes problems. Liberty is a-perfect. I think if you ask a lot of them, at their heart of hearts, whether or not they want a perfect society they will say "yes"... but then they never think of the consequences of what that means.

Posted by: Former Mass. Resident at December 28, 2012 04:54 PM (5/DFH)

382 Given the relative mortality rates of their usage I think you could make a better argument for banning British Doctors than you could chef knives.

Posted by: Voluble at December 28, 2012 04:56 PM (qYvEa)

383 Some loon in NYC pushed a guy in front of a train killing him. Naturally, we should immediately ban all subways and trains. After that, congress should ban cancer, alzheimers (sp?) and the common cold.

Posted by: Ezra's Equal at December 28, 2012 05:05 PM (wTcJW)

384 "This logic ultimately runs to this: Since no human being needs to do anything besides work and eat, we might as well mandate that people take a powerful narcotic sleeping pill immediately after their evening meal, so they simply slumber until the next work shift."

Soma. It's pneumatic!


Posted by: Mustapha Mond at December 28, 2012 05:15 PM (XDtG+)

385 Good point, Voluble.

Posted by: Y-not on the phone at December 28, 2012 05:15 PM (wNsNP)

386
I really need a drink, but as mentioned before, the only booze in the house is Crown Royal Maple.

Just make some pancakes. Problem solved.

Posted by: harleycowboy at December 28, 2012 05:15 PM (+9AX9)

387 This logic ultimately runs to this: Since no human being needs to do anything besides work and eat, we might as well mandate that people take a powerful narcotic sleeping pill immediately after their evening meal, so they simply slumber until the next work shift.

How long before they try what they did in Serenity: use gas on us to try to take away "aggression". Ended up making 90% of the people so apathetic, they stopped eating and starved to death, while 10% reacted the opposite and become hyper-violent "reavers" (murder, rape, cannibalism).

Posted by: Clyde Shelton at December 28, 2012 05:16 PM (vUK/h)

388
They can come and TRY to take my chainsaw.
http://tinyurl.com/528ffr

Posted by: harleycowboy at December 28, 2012 05:20 PM (+9AX9)

389 Good news: I spoke with a bunch of cavemen (actually, just a few guys I hang out with who act like cavemen) and they say they're okay with rocks. So, I think we're good there.

Related note: I just got back from Bass Pro Shops and the only rocks they have left on the rack are the smaller, 6-pebble packs - none of the larger 40 big rocks to a pack.

Posted by: slug at December 28, 2012 05:21 PM (vVv3V)

390 Next thing you know they will ban tridents.

Posted by: mon nom est mpfs at December 28, 2012 05:27 PM (iYbLN)

391 Are you utterly, *COMPLETELY* certain that there was no "/sarc" tag on this?


'Cause this alleged article is sure making my sarc-meter swing way past 100%...


= = = = = = = =

Heh... I agree with comment #17 by soothsayer

(Well, OK, I *DID* tweak it a tiny bit):

" Ban all objects until evil ceases to exist! "


Posted by: A_Nonny_Mouse at December 28, 2012 05:47 PM (hq0VE)

392 128 Clearly none of these ban-happy leftists have never seen the opening scenes of "2001: A Space Odyssey." Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Hobbit at December 28, 2012 03:42 PM (4df7R)

beat me to it ...

Posted by: Grumpy the Younger at December 28, 2012 05:56 PM (jts1f)

393 My number one tool in the kitchen is my chef's knife.

My number one tool in the shed is a shovel.

Bwah ha ha ha!

Posted by: Mindy at December 28, 2012 06:03 PM (3pGXY)

394
My knives are my pride! I take them with me if I have any expectation of having tocut or chop anything. So many people have hideous knife drawers. Dangerously dull - it's a fact that you're more likely to cut yourself when using dull instruments.

The Brits are insane, freaking insane. Now they will have to ban glass bottles and mugs, since drunk people like to smash them and take out an eye or two of their drunken "rivals."

OMG, OMG, OMG....the world is truly fscked.

Oh yeah - Happy New Year! God's blessings!

Posted by: disa at December 28, 2012 06:21 PM (R+h7Q)

395 I can see the next UK weapon of choice will be the meat tenderizer, or maybe the garlic crusher.

Just when you think you're making a reductio ad absurdum argument, the liberals go and enact it as law. It's just no fair.

Posted by: Socratease at December 28, 2012 06:27 PM (OJaQT)

396 Just send folks to jail after work, then release them in the morning to go back to work. And ankle bracelets for all.

Leftists excepted of course, on some solemn ground.

Posted by: Tonawanda at December 28, 2012 06:31 PM (GeFHE)

397 I read the original article and it seems to be saying to ban points on chefs knives, not all chefs knives and not all big knives. I love my chefs knife, but I never use the point for anything; it would work just as well for me with a blunt end.

Powerline recently pointed out that murder by knife is 5X as common as murder by rifle in the USA. I don't agree with a govt ban on points, but who knows, maybe some few lives would be saved if chefs knives more commonly came with blunt ends by a change in industry design convention.

Posted by: gp at December 28, 2012 07:12 PM (mk9aG)

398 I keep saying it because it is true: after gun crime comes knife crime, then hand crime, then thoughtcrime.

I should probably add hate speech.

They want to ban everything till people who they hate are helpless.

Making "reasonable concessions" as people suggest gun owners should, just moves the agenda to restrict every means of self-defense forward. "Reasonable concessions" are a slippery slope to tyranny and worse. The only worthwhile course is to resist adamantly, all the time.

Posted by: The Lightworker at December 28, 2012 08:30 PM (+VZoO)

399 Next thing you know they are going to ban blowjobs... Because someone somewhere could choke....

Posted by: Miikeb at December 28, 2012 10:14 PM (EqIF4)

400 Article seems to be from 2005. It's the tail end of 2012. I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that this whole 'ban chef's knives' thing did not take off yet and has been around for a while.

Posted by: Cackfinger at December 29, 2012 04:20 PM (CCHli)

401 The Monty Python skit about defending yourself from an attacker armed with a banana is suddenly making sense to me.

Posted by: SPQR at December 31, 2012 03:44 PM (L3mvm)






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