Department of Things You Already Knew: Sean Penn Is an Illiterate

Meghan McCain is, by comparison, a much more fluid and accomplished author.

His worldview is odious and evil -- but so too is his grammar.

And also, his ability to properly choose between "illusion" and "allusion."

Indeed, the actor now also self-identifies as a writer. In his 2009 paean to Raul Castro and Hugo Chavez published on the Huffington Post, Penn begins with typical humility: “The disadvantages of being a writer, who is often written about, are numerous.” And another disadvantage is that, because you are often written about, certain editors allow you to write.

Reading Penn’s journalism is not unlike consuming a Castro speech: it’s unbearably long, always rambling and tedious, and frequently incoherent. Take this latest dispatch from Penn’s Huffington Post blog, where he coughs up this furball: “Ostreicher, whose innocence was maligned by an arrest where only vague illusions to money laundering have been shown to be fabricated by corrupt officials within the Bolivian judiciary, whose motivation has proven to be extortion.”

Or how about this stew of words, which is apparently related to the shootings in Newtown, Conn.: “This can, and is, being very easily exampled with newly invigorated discussions with attention on the recognition and treatment of mental health, and certainly that is a priority. And to be responsible to that priority, we too have to recognize its applicability to the mental health of our American community at large.”

But I'm told it all reads much better in the original Retardese.

Posted by: Ace at 02:13 PM



Comments

1 Did you hear that? That was my skull!

Posted by: Sean at December 28, 2012 02:15 PM (tfMGP)

2 Sean Penn = Lemuel

Posted by: Cicero Kid at December 28, 2012 02:15 PM (OOL+m)

3 Mr. Hand should have kicked his ass in 1982.

Posted by: Jaws at December 28, 2012 02:15 PM (4I3Uo)

4 The Spicoli trait is strong in this one.

Posted by: AnonymousDrivel at December 28, 2012 02:16 PM (eHIJJ)

5 Never go full retard.

Posted by: Vizzini at December 28, 2012 02:16 PM (O7Q1u)

6 Cue the guy who demands to know why we are surprised.

Posted by: weft cut-loop at December 28, 2012 02:16 PM (KDq5l)

7
... and there's certainly nothing wrong with a little feast on "our time".

Posted by: fixerupper at December 28, 2012 02:17 PM (nELVU)

8 The penn is mightier than the sord.

Posted by: Dr. Varno at December 28, 2012 02:17 PM (j5VOl)

9 I hate that smug, ugly little turd.

There are so many idiot actors I simply refuse to pay to see now. He's at the top of the list (well, tied with Danny Glover.....who is in my town filming a movie right now.....where'd I put that can of Liquid Ass....).

Posted by: Jane D'oh at December 28, 2012 02:17 PM (UOM48)

10 “This can, and is, being very easily exampled with newly invigorated discussions with attention on the recognition and treatment of mental health, and certainly that is a priority. And to be responsible to that priority, we too have to recognize its applicability to the mental health of our American community at large.”

Wow. I didn't know that "I Am Sam" was autobiographical.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Hobbit at December 28, 2012 02:17 PM (4df7R)

11 He sounds dumber than Biden....

Posted by: Jane D'oh at December 28, 2012 02:18 PM (UOM48)

12 I don't always go full tard, but when I do, I channel Sean Penn.

Posted by: Fidel Castro at December 28, 2012 02:18 PM (6TB1Z)

13 Sean Penn barely made it through high school. IIRC, he was trying to learn to be a mechanic when he hit it big in show business.

You want to read some funny shit? Try Barbra Streisand's profound political stylings. She's an abject idiot who occasionally spells a word correctly but has no use for punctuation.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at December 28, 2012 02:18 PM (QKKT0)

14 So are the editors at Huff-Po too scared to correct Penn's incoherent scribblings, or do they actually find Penn's writing readable?

Posted by: mugiwara at December 28, 2012 02:18 PM (hpYnL)

15 This can be, and is, very easily exampled with newly invigorated viewings of Shanghai Surprise.

Posted by: Sean Penn at December 28, 2012 02:18 PM (LCRYB)

16 You know how they use a Vaseline lens to make aged actors look good for the camera? What's the equivalent they use to make Penn seem literate? Duct tape?

Posted by: AnonymousDrivel at December 28, 2012 02:18 PM (eHIJJ)

17 I, for one, am enjoying these newly invigorated discussions.

Posted by: Dr. Varno at December 28, 2012 02:19 PM (j5VOl)

18 I, for one, enjoyed eyereading his mindthoughts.

Posted by: Pug Mahon at December 28, 2012 02:19 PM (K+mtQ)

19 There are so many idiot actors I simply refuse to pay to see now. He's at the top of the list (well, tied with Danny Glover.....who is in my town filming a movie right now.....where'd I put that can of Liquid Ass....).
Posted by: Jane D'oh at December 28, 2012 02:17 PM (UOM4


Danny Glover and Sean Penn are so loathsome that even bittorrent can't give their shit away.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Hobbit at December 28, 2012 02:19 PM (4df7R)

20 I bet he thinks he's too smart to use an editor.

Posted by: baldilocks via iPad at December 28, 2012 02:19 PM (uN22/)

21 “The disadvantages of being a writer, who is often written about, are numerous.”



This is Bidenesque......

Posted by: Jane D'oh at December 28, 2012 02:19 PM (UOM48)

22 This can, and is, being very easily exampled with newly invigorated
discussions with attention on the recognition and treatment of mental
health....

-----

That.was.hard.to.read.

Posted by: fixerupper at December 28, 2012 02:19 PM (nELVU)

23 Cocaine, weed and highballs always help me clarify my mindthoughts.

Posted by: Sean Penn at December 28, 2012 02:20 PM (/ZZCn)

24 You know how they use a Vaseline lens to make aged actors look good for the camera? What's the equivalent they use to make Penn seem literate? Duct tape?
Posted by: AnonymousDrivel at December 28, 2012 02:18 PM (eHIJJ)


I think they use a see and say.

Posted by: Oldsailors Poet, aka Jack July author of Amy Lynn available on Amazon. at December 28, 2012 02:20 PM (l86i3)

25 I blame Madonna.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at December 28, 2012 02:20 PM (UOM48)

26 You know how they use a Vaseline lens to make aged actors look good for the camera? What's the equivalent they use to make Penn seem literate? Duct tape?
Posted by: AnonymousDrivel at December 28, 2012 02:18 PM (eHIJJ)


I think one of those Magic Eye posters.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Hobbit at December 28, 2012 02:21 PM (4df7R)

27 It's really not nice to make fun of the, uhm, "mentally challenged".

Unless, of course, you are a Democrat.

Posted by: West at December 28, 2012 02:21 PM (1Rgee)

28 >>>
Wow. I didn't know that "I Am Sam" was autobiographical.

hah.

Posted by: ace at December 28, 2012 02:21 PM (LCRYB)

29 "exampled" haha.

Posted by: L, elle at December 28, 2012 02:21 PM (0PiQ4)

30 I like pie.

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD. Now with extra cross stitch. at December 28, 2012 02:22 PM (VtjlW)

31 I blame Madonna.
Posted by: Jane D'oh at December 28, 2012 02:20 PM (UOM4

Me too, for my love of young platinum blondes in lingerie.

Posted by: Oldsailors Poet, aka Jack July author of Amy Lynn available on Amazon. at December 28, 2012 02:22 PM (l86i3)

32 What a tool.

Posted by: Peaches at December 28, 2012 02:22 PM (VISKy)

33
Didn't Madonna make fun of him for that?

I seem to recall that she made a big deal out of him being so illiterate.
She even put out an example of something that he had written to her...put it out in the media, to prove her point.

Posted by: wheatie at December 28, 2012 02:22 PM (K4wCe)

34 Sarah Palin must be his proofreader.

Posted by: L, elle at December 28, 2012 02:23 PM (0PiQ4)

35 Sniff...what's that smell?

Oh Dear Gawd the synapses in my brain burned out from trying to understand what Sean Penn wrote.

I'm going to sue that little fucker.

Posted by: mon nom est mpfs at December 28, 2012 02:23 PM (iYbLN)

36 Who can forget this brilliance?

heh

http://tinyurl.com/c7gs8bh

Posted by: Jane D'oh at December 28, 2012 02:23 PM (UOM48)

37 He studied speech and auto mechanics in college, not writing.

Posted by: @PurpAv at December 28, 2012 02:23 PM (TBTjX)

38 So are the editors at Huff-Po too scared to correct Penn's incoherent scribblings, or do they actually find Penn's writing readable?
Posted by: mugiwara at December 28, 2012 02:18 PM (hpYnL)


I suspect they think his writing is artistic and high-brow. The fact that it's insensible and impossible to read simply adds to that aura. And as for spelling, hell -- most of them can't spell to save their life.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Hobbit at December 28, 2012 02:23 PM (4df7R)

39 Is Sean Penn the Criss Angel of Meghan McCain?

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at December 28, 2012 02:23 PM (QKKT0)

40 Sarah Palin must be his proofreader.
Posted by: L, elle at December 28, 2012 02:23 PM (0PiQ4)

Sarah Palin writes very well, Don't start no shit and there won't be no shit.

Posted by: Oldsailors Poet, aka Jack July author of Amy Lynn available on Amazon. at December 28, 2012 02:24 PM (l86i3)

41 We're sorry, Mr. Penn, that we cannot accept your submissions. Your work is so atrocious that to permit them would be to give previous winners a good name.

Posted by: Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest at December 28, 2012 02:24 PM (eHIJJ)

42 Add Roseanne Barr to the list of illiterate scribes who apparently believe punctuation and capitalization interfere with their message. The clarity of their thought is so powerful that it does not need such pedestrian tricks.

Posted by: Steve Skubinna at December 28, 2012 02:24 PM (HoGA+)

43 Best Penn Quotes (all from the same movie)

"That was my skull! I'm SOO wasted!"
"Havin' some food. Learnin' about Cuba.
"Hey! You're ripping my card!
"I figure that you're here, and I'm here...doesn't that make it OUR time?"
"Hey! Where'd you get that jacket?"
"Huh! Those guys are fags!"

and finally

"I'm gonna wing on over to London and jam with the Stones!"

Posted by: Navin R Johnson at December 28, 2012 02:24 PM (RRbuy)

44 He studied speech and auto mechanics in college, not writing.
Posted by: @PurpAv at December 28, 2012 02:23 PM (TBTjX)



So I guess the study of speech didn't go so well, eh? Since he can't seem to translate it to the written word.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Hobbit at December 28, 2012 02:25 PM (4df7R)

45 Dude, seriously?

Posted by: Caitlyn Upton, Miss South Carolina, 2007 at December 28, 2012 02:25 PM (6TB1Z)

46 Someone's been huffing the Liquid Ass again!

Posted by: t-bird at December 28, 2012 02:25 PM (FcR7P)

47 You hear that sound, Mr. Penn? It's my high school English teacher. YOU MADE HER CRY!

Posted by: NR Pax at December 28, 2012 02:25 PM (1ml8s)

48 So are the editors at Huff-Po too scared to correct Penn's incoherent
scribblings, or do they actually find Penn's writing readable?


You assume they are capable of recognizing that it's terrible. I like your charitable attitude.

Posted by: HeatherRadish™ needs a beer at December 28, 2012 02:25 PM (hO8IJ)

49 My word. He writes like one of my community college students!

Posted by: Some Asshole at December 28, 2012 02:25 PM (Usnpd)

50 I suspect he exampled with drugs more than a few times.

Posted by: Pug Mahon at December 28, 2012 02:25 PM (K+mtQ)

51
So are the editors at Huff-Po too scared to correct Penn's incoherent scribblings


Proofing shit these days consists of spell check...and you're lucky if you get that.

Posted by: @PurpAv at December 28, 2012 02:26 PM (TBTjX)

52 I suspect he exampled with drugs more than a few times.
Posted by: Pug Mahon at December 28, 2012 02:25 PM (K+mtQ)


LOL

Posted by: Oldsailors Poet, aka Jack July author of Amy Lynn available on Amazon. at December 28, 2012 02:26 PM (l86i3)

53 I like Sean Penn because he is against smoking bans.

For everything else, not so much.

When the tyrants take control, the stupid fucking artists finally realize that they are subject to their rule as well, and by then it is too late because we have lost the country.

Happens again, and again, and again.

Posted by: Prescient11 at December 28, 2012 02:26 PM (tVTLU)

54 Why didn't we see Penn with a shotgun, in a leaking row boat, with ared solo cup, in Conney island?

Posted by: Buffalobob at December 28, 2012 02:26 PM (x+7qA)

55 Sush your mouth, he has friends in HIGH places...Maybe he will run for a comedy position in the Senate like that goofball in Wisconsin Whats His Name? that curly headed FU with the kind of" look what I did on your kitchen floor" face..

Posted by: Clemenza at December 28, 2012 02:26 PM (ILM+d)

56 Someone's been huffing the Liquid Ass again!
Posted by: t-bird at December 28, 2012 02:25 PM (FcR7P)


I've now read this comment three times, and each time I laugh just as hard.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Hobbit at December 28, 2012 02:26 PM (4df7R)

57 The Sean Penn School for Kids Who Can't Write Good and Want to Do Other Stuff Good Too.

Posted by: Dr. Varno at December 28, 2012 02:26 PM (j5VOl)

58 I suspect it was written in Choom.

Posted by: USA at December 28, 2012 02:26 PM (RIg+t)

59 I believe I shall pop on down to the local Circle K and see if there are any bath salts for purchase. After smoking a bowl or two I'm sure I will be able to understand the writings of this "Sean Penn."

Then I will proceed to fling my poo at anyone who passes by me on the street. Where I work in downtown that's a normal day.

Posted by: mon nom est mpfs at December 28, 2012 02:26 PM (iYbLN)

60
Witforth, and here to width, I am releasing the aforementioned release of my thoughts and scribings released in these writings. Verily, I say unto thee, I am profusely in sincerity in wishing that all you aforementioned here enjoy my newly released writings. I have previously labored to transcribe my thinking's down to the the written word level for all you gathered together to enjoy my aforementioned writings.

Posted by: Shawn Pen at December 28, 2012 02:27 PM (nELVU)

61 You hear that sound, Mr. Penn? It's my high school English teacher. YOU MADE HER CRY!

My third-grade teacher would have beaten me for "This can, and is, being"

Posted by: HeatherRadish™ needs a beer at December 28, 2012 02:27 PM (hO8IJ)

62 Spicolli was type casting.

Posted by: Joe Mama at December 28, 2012 02:27 PM (v9Cj5)

63 Talk about an uphill climb. Trying to break into the intellectual and writers circles with those skills. I can relate.

Posted by: sTevo at December 28, 2012 02:27 PM (KSy6o)

64 Witforth, and here to width, I am releasing the aforementioned release of my thoughts and scribings released in these writings. Verily, I say unto thee, I am profusely in sincerity in wishing that all you aforementioned here enjoy my newly released writings. I have previously labored to transcribe my thinking's down to the the written word level for all you gathered together to enjoy my aforementioned writings.
Posted by: Shawn Pen at December 28, 2012 02:27 PM (nELVU)


*dabbing eyes with lace handkerchief* Oh, that's beautiful. Poetic. Jose Canseco couldn't have tweeted it better.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Hobbit at December 28, 2012 02:28 PM (4df7R)

65 What a maroooon...

Posted by: Hello, it's me Donna let it burn really.really bummed at December 28, 2012 02:28 PM (9+ccr)

66 I think Yoda spoke more coherently and with better grammar also.

Posted by: isophorone at December 28, 2012 02:28 PM (m/Ana)

67 I must say, as one who is not immune to the charms of the parenthetical, that shit's fucked up.

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD. Now with extra cross stitch. at December 28, 2012 02:28 PM (VtjlW)

68 Penn, his prose execrable.

Posted by: Dr. Varno at December 28, 2012 02:28 PM (j5VOl)

69 Isn't he also really short. Isn't he really only like two feet tall?

Posted by: Kensington at December 28, 2012 02:28 PM (H84UO)

70

I dunno..... I like the way he writes.

Posted by: Jose Conseco at December 28, 2012 02:29 PM (nELVU)

71 The problem with assessing writing such as his is that it is virtually indistinguishable from "writing under the influence" (with which I am very familiar). So there's that.

Posted by: hannitys_hybrid at December 28, 2012 02:29 PM (zpqa2)

72 Meggy Mac must have given him some of her extra commas.
She gets a free gross in every crate of Chezzy-Tots.

Posted by: Roland THTG at December 28, 2012 02:29 PM (I7O5y)

73 Penn, states.

Posted by: Joe Mama at December 28, 2012 02:29 PM (v9Cj5)

74 Yep, when you're famous there's no reason to hire someone to check your basic grammar. It's like celebrities getting picked up for drunk driving, why bother spending fifty bucks on a cab when you can make an ass of yourself.

Posted by: lowandslow at December 28, 2012 02:29 PM (7Nq2G)

75 69 For some reason I think he is a sawed off little shrimp of a man.

Posted by: gigg423 at December 28, 2012 02:29 PM (41VCE)

76
How many times can one person right-click on "synonyms". Sheesh. Give a guy a $400 laptop, a bootleg copy of MS Word,a HuffPo log-in, and *POOF*, he turns into a lefty version of blogger-of-the-year.

I think I now know why he plays retarded idiots so well.

Posted by: Foghorn Leghorn at December 28, 2012 02:29 PM (EGPJQ)

77 Honestly though, there wasa guy in my Prose Writing class sophomore year of college who wrote EXACTLY like this. Everyone in the class -- up to and including the professor -- thought it was genius; a really unique style. I was still young and sweet at the time, so I never had the nerve to look him in the eye and ask, "So, are you high, or retarded, or what? Because this is gibberish."

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Hobbit at December 28, 2012 02:29 PM (4df7R)

78 Resist we much.

Am I right, Sean?

Posted by: Al Sharpton at December 28, 2012 02:29 PM (5OEha)

79 Is this part of the Infinite Monkey Theorem proof?

Posted by: USA at December 28, 2012 02:30 PM (RIg+t)

80 Isn't he also really short. Isn't he really only like two feet tall?
Posted by: Kensington at December 28, 2012 02:28 PM (H84UO)

He actually fancies himself as a tough guy thug. Tattoos and all.

Posted by: Oldsailors Poet, aka Jack July author of Amy Lynn available on Amazon. at December 28, 2012 02:30 PM (l86i3)

81 But, "is our children learning" was proof the man who said it should be euthanized...

Posted by: M. Murcek at December 28, 2012 02:30 PM (GJUgF)

82 There's another insufferable fuckwit in town filming with Danny Glover....Richard Dreyfus.

Penn, Glover and Dreyfus....a trifecta of Marxist douchebaggery.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at December 28, 2012 02:30 PM (UOM48)

83 "our American community at large...."

He must get paid by the word.

Posted by: LASue at December 28, 2012 02:30 PM (pWeX5)

84
Pennhad two guns (one loaded)stolen from inside his 87 Buick Grand National, along with the car. Happenedin Berkeley, California in 2003. Don't know if they were ever found.
Mental health and guns, he says.

Posted by: Andrew at December 28, 2012 02:30 PM (0WrpH)

85 Wow. He's pretty stupid.

Posted by: Matt. Damon. at December 28, 2012 02:30 PM (BrQrN)

86 Sean has been conjugating with my smegma for a long time.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KGbzKUmgmrM

Posted by: Oswald Bates at December 28, 2012 02:30 PM (Zd/NW)

87 Writing is the mirror of the mind.

In Penn's case, his looks like a Fun House mirror.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, who did not vote for this shit. at December 28, 2012 02:31 PM (yiIja)

88 Isn't he also really short. Isn't he really only like two feet tall?
Posted by: Kensington at December 28, 2012 02:28 PM (H84UO)



He's kind of a short ass.

Posted by: Bob Costas, Hobbit at December 28, 2012 02:31 PM (4df7R)

89 I could, and was, being reading his exampling and was reminded of Shakespeare.

Sean Penn: Monkey #Infinity-1 and a typewriter.

Posted by: t-bird at December 28, 2012 02:31 PM (FcR7P)

90
37He studied speech and auto mechanics in college, not writing.

Posted by: @PurpAv at December 28, 2012 02:23 PM (TBTjX)

-------------

I doubt that he's any better at being a mechanic.
Most auto mechanics are really rather intelligent...at least the ones I've been around.

Posted by: wheatie at December 28, 2012 02:31 PM (K4wCe)

91 Maybe it was a soliloquy from that movie where he played a 'tard? (Yes, I know I should be more specific)

Posted by: Navin R Johnson at December 28, 2012 02:31 PM (RRbuy)

92 [over bullhorn] Alright Penn, this is your last warning: put down the book - back away from the thesaurus.

Posted by: Clutch Cargo at December 28, 2012 02:31 PM (Qxdfp)

93 Shock the monkey to life!

Posted by: Peter Gabriel at December 28, 2012 02:32 PM (OOL+m)

94 Sean Penn is no Penn Gillete.

Posted by: Clutch Cargo at December 28, 2012 02:32 PM (Qxdfp)

95 It's that kind of writing ability that allowed him to bed Madonna. Well, that and being in the same time zone as her...

Posted by: B at December 28, 2012 02:32 PM (5OEha)

96 "Sarah Palin must be his proofreader."
===============

HA HA! YEAH! RIGHT! BECAUSE, SEE...

Wait, what!?!

Your "first!" comments are your best ones.

Posted by: Kensington at December 28, 2012 02:32 PM (H84UO)

97 I've seen him around.
He's about 5'7" - 8" with an xtra large head.

Posted by: LASue at December 28, 2012 02:33 PM (pWeX5)

98 He actually fancies himself as a tough guy thug. Tattoos and all.

---

Well his inflated ego might be a little threatening, but he seems like a rather dim and gentle little man otherwise.

Posted by: gigg423 at December 28, 2012 02:33 PM (41VCE)

99 Writing is the mirror of the mind.

In Penn's case, his looks like a Fun House mirror.

More like a crack house mirror. Ever heard homeless druggies interviewed during a somewhat lucid moment. They attempt to use big words and butcher them badly. That's him.

Posted by: Oldsailors Poet, aka Jack July author of Amy Lynn available on Amazon. at December 28, 2012 02:33 PM (l86i3)

100 And how threatening is a tramp stamp??

Posted by: gigg423 at December 28, 2012 02:33 PM (41VCE)

101 "our American community at large...."

I just want to know one thing: outside of any writing up to and including sophomore year of college, has Sean Penn ever started a "serious" essay with the phrase, "Since the beginning of time, people have wondered..."

Because if he has, he needs to be shot. FOR THE CHILDREN.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Hobbit at December 28, 2012 02:33 PM (4df7R)

102 Isn't he also really short. Isn't he really only like two feet tall?
Posted by: Kensington at December 28, 2012 02:28 PM (H84UO)



HEY! *hauls out new three step stepladder* *climbs to top* *kicks you in knee*


That was mean!

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD. Now with extra cross stitch. at December 28, 2012 02:33 PM (VtjlW)

103 Ah, yes. The unmistakeable writing style of a dumb person who desperately wants to be thought of as an intellectual.

And he's not particularly good at it.

Posted by: Hollowpoint at December 28, 2012 02:34 PM (SY2Kh)

104 He studied speech and auto mechanics in college, not writing

I think he studied the speech OF my Russian auto mechanic. (Who is an excellent mechanic)

Posted by: t-bird at December 28, 2012 02:34 PM (FcR7P)

105 The Travelocity Gnome could whip Sean Penn's ass...

Posted by: B at December 28, 2012 02:34 PM (5OEha)

106 >>>“Ostreicher, whose innocence was maligned by an arrest where only vague
illusions to money laundering have been shown to be fabricated by
corrupt officials within the Bolivian judiciary, whose motivation has
proven to be extortion.”

No verb.

Posted by: rdbrewer at December 28, 2012 02:34 PM (Iyg03)

107 He sounds like he has Asbergers and I don't intend that to mean any disparagement of people with Asbergers, but sometimes their writing is long winded and incomprehensible. In this case the "little professor" is what-45 years old?

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at December 28, 2012 02:34 PM (VLe4D)

108 The pen may be mightier than the sword, but the Penn is thicker than a brick.

Posted by: Vizzini at December 28, 2012 02:34 PM (O7Q1u)

109 Sean Penn vs. Kal Penn?

Who's the more intelligent of the two?

Posted by: Jane D'oh at December 28, 2012 02:34 PM (UOM48)

110 Brought forward from dead thread.....


For AtC and the Dita fans...


http://tinyurl.com/cqlcsxx


NSFW

Posted by: BCochran1981 at December 28, 2012 02:35 PM (IvVLN)

111 The unmistakeable writing style of a dumb person who desperately wants to be thought of as an intellectual.


Posted by: Hollowpoint at December 28, 2012 02:34 PM (SY2Kh)

-----
^^ THIS!!!

Posted by: fixerupper at December 28, 2012 02:35 PM (nELVU)

112 Let's take a stroll down memory lane when Sean Fuckwit had a couple of handguns stolen out of the trunk of his car:

http://tinyurl.com/c74gov5

Posted by: Clutch Cargo at December 28, 2012 02:36 PM (Qxdfp)

113 "That was mean!"
===============

I'm sorry.

Posted by: Kensington at December 28, 2012 02:36 PM (H84UO)

114 HEY! *hauls out new three step stepladder* *climbs to top* *kicks you in knee*

...I don't know if it's safe to laugh at that hilarious yet adorable image.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Hobbit at December 28, 2012 02:36 PM (4df7R)

115 >>It's that kind of writing ability that allowed him to bed Madonna

I wonder if those rashes ever cleared up

Posted by: Albie Damned at December 28, 2012 02:36 PM (D2wZD)

116 No verb.


Posted by: rdbrewer at December 28, 2012 02:34 PM (Iyg03)

----
Is that like a proverb???

Posted by: Shawn Pen at December 28, 2012 02:36 PM (nELVU)

117 109 Sean Penn vs. Kal Penn? Who's the more intelligent of the two?

Bic Pen.

Posted by: Clutch Cargo at December 28, 2012 02:36 PM (Qxdfp)

118 Bic Pen.
Posted by: Clutch Cargo at December 28, 2012 02:36 PM (Qxdfp)


LOL

Posted by: Oldsailors Poet, aka Jack July author of Amy Lynn available on Amazon. at December 28, 2012 02:37 PM (l86i3)

119 Didn't Madonna claim Sean hit her with a bottle of salad dressing during their marriage?

I'm ashamed I even remember something like this.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at December 28, 2012 02:37 PM (UOM48)

120 This is like Derrida for the junior idiot league.

"The impossible is the nonimpossible of the impossible's possible."

That's the real thing, and I just made that up. I could write like that all the time if someone would only pay me enough.

Posted by: mallfly at December 28, 2012 02:37 PM (bJm7W)

121 Pfft...Sean Penn?? Looke lika a goddamned kid-toucher.

Posted by: Harry Reid at December 28, 2012 02:37 PM (jvd3N)

122 I wonder if those rashes ever cleared up

Posted by: Albie Damned at December 28, 2012 02:36 PM (D2wZD)

Ummmm ...... no

Posted by: Dennis Rodman at December 28, 2012 02:38 PM (nELVU)

123 Tickle, that perpetually fucked-up dude from Moonshiners, is more eloquent than Penn.

Makes more sense, too.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, who did not vote for this shit. at December 28, 2012 02:38 PM (yiIja)

124 119
Didn't Madonna claim Sean hit her with a bottle of salad dressing during their marriage?

I'm ashamed I even remember something like this.


Posted by: Jane D'oh at December 28, 2012 02:37 PM (UOM4
**They beat each other with an ugly stick.

Posted by: Harry Reid at December 28, 2012 02:38 PM (jvd3N)

125 109-Penn Station?

Posted by: nip at December 28, 2012 02:38 PM (11Tdq)

126 Hey, remember "Mystic River?"

Yeah, no one else does, either.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Hobbit at December 28, 2012 02:39 PM (4df7R)

127 I think we should all take turns cleaning up some sentences and send it back to Sean..

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at December 28, 2012 02:39 PM (VLe4D)

128 I vaguely remember college, uh, parties that produced prose very much like this. Usually a group effort, though.

Posted by: Cricket at December 28, 2012 02:39 PM (DrC22)

129 If you wingnuts could get past your ingrained biases for a moment you might just learn something about how the Bolivian judiciary has been totally vinegarated by the paritarchy of capitolism. Not to mention the injustices algamated unto Ostreicher perchance of his notions!

Posted by: Gristle Encased Head at December 28, 2012 02:39 PM (+lsX1)

130 And we wonder why actors and their ilk are so taken in by commie pinko fags (my thanks to Archie Bunker). Most can't even read their name on the script, let alone a newspaper or intelligent military blog. Clueless and happy to be so.

Posted by: tcn at December 28, 2012 02:39 PM (VLG62)

131 Antibiotics react to Madonna like the alien blood did in The Thing when Kurt stuck a hot wire into it.

Posted by: B at December 28, 2012 02:39 PM (5OEha)

132 Sean Penn Literate
I sense a great disturbance
Future Pulitzer

Posted by: Darth Chipmunk at December 28, 2012 02:40 PM (cRIVA)

133 If you wingnuts could get past your ingrained biases for a moment you might just learn something about how the Bolivian judiciary has been totally vinegarated by the paritarchy of capitolism. Not to mention the injustices algamated unto Ostreicher perchance of his notions!
Posted by: Gristle Encased Head at December 28, 2012 02:39 PM (+lsX1)


*DYING*

Per....Perchance of his... his notions...!

*NEED*

*AIR*

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Hobbit at December 28, 2012 02:40 PM (4df7R)

134 I think we should all take turns cleaning up some sentences and send it back to Sean..
Posted by: FenelonSpoke at December 28, 2012 02:39 PM (VLe4D)

That would be hard, its like a rubiks thought cube.

Posted by: Oldsailors Poet, aka Jack July author of Amy Lynn available on Amazon. at December 28, 2012 02:40 PM (l86i3)

135 "The impossible is the nonimpossible of the impossible's possible."

45 years ago that would have made you a very famous hippie...today, not so much ;->

Posted by: @PurpAv at December 28, 2012 02:40 PM (TBTjX)

136 Someone who is not me needs to write up Che Che's reaction to being told this.

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD. Now with extra cross stitch. at December 28, 2012 02:41 PM (VtjlW)

137 I believe Mr. Penn attended Modesto Jr. College and majored in towels.

Posted by: mon nom est mpfs at December 28, 2012 02:41 PM (iYbLN)

138
56Someone's been huffing the Liquid Ass again!
Posted by: t-bird at December 28, 2012 02:25 PM (FcR7P)

I've now read this comment three times, and each time I laugh just as hard.
--Everyone in the office is staring at me while I cry out loud laughing at this.

Posted by: Foghorn Leghorn at December 28, 2012 02:41 PM (EGPJQ)

139 Posted by: Gristle Encased Head at December 28, 2012 02:39 PM (+lsX1)

----

You had me at "vingerated"...

**snort**

Posted by: fixerupper at December 28, 2012 02:42 PM (nELVU)

140 131 Antibiotics react to Madonna like the alien blood did in The Thing when Kurt stuck a hot wire into it.

LOL Nice ; it's funny because she is a filthy disgusting whore.

Posted by: gigg423 at December 28, 2012 02:42 PM (41VCE)

141 I've read things scrawled on bathroom walls in bus stations that have more intellectual and emotional weight than this brain turd pinched off by Penn.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Hobbit at December 28, 2012 02:42 PM (4df7R)

142 126 Hey, remember "Mystic River?"
Yeah, no one else does, either.
Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Hobbit at December 28, 2012 02:39 PM (4df7R)

____

I saw it and I still don't remember it

Posted by: Cricket at December 28, 2012 02:42 PM (DrC22)

143
137I believe Mr. Penn attended Modesto Jr. College and majored in towels.

Correction: Bowels

Posted by: Foghorn Leghorn at December 28, 2012 02:42 PM (EGPJQ)

144 Him rite much terabul.

Posted by: RoadRunner at December 28, 2012 02:42 PM (B1qPY)

145 123
Tickle, that perpetually fucked-up dude from Moonshiners, is more eloquent than Penn.



Makes more sense, too.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, who did not vote for this shit. at December 28, 2012 02:38 PM (yiIja)

**And I provide a useful service. That Sean Penn fella just takes up space and wastes valuable breathable air.

Posted by: Tickle at December 28, 2012 02:42 PM (jvd3N)

146 That Sean Penn guy sounds like a idiot.....

Posted by: Jason Festerman, Liquid Ass affectionado at December 28, 2012 02:42 PM (UOM48)

147 Midvale School For The Gifted.

Posted by: mon nom est mpfs at December 28, 2012 02:43 PM (iYbLN)

148 He's a nasty little fraction of a man.

Posted by: kathysaysso at December 28, 2012 02:43 PM (y5uWA)

149 >>>Midvale School For The Gifted.

Classic.

Posted by: Vizzini at December 28, 2012 02:43 PM (O7Q1u)

150 Louie, Louie!

Watch out!

Posted by: Sean Penn at December 28, 2012 02:43 PM (/ZZCn)

151 The Spicoli character wasn't acting.

Posted by: @PurpAv at December 28, 2012 02:43 PM (TBTjX)

152 the Bolivian judiciary has been totally vinegarated

Shall I compare thee to a Summers Eve?
Thou art more douchey and odiferous

Posted by: HeatherRadish™ needs a beer at December 28, 2012 02:44 PM (hO8IJ)

153 I"m so wasted ..

Posted by: grease monkey at December 28, 2012 02:44 PM (VSWPU)

154 Funny how no one is blaming his editor or proof reader for allowing these flaws.

I find it silly to be a Grammar or Spelling Nazi these days. Everyone makes mistakes. Let he who has not used an inappropriate comma cast the first stone.

Posted by: Mike Hunt at December 28, 2012 02:44 PM (G6kli)

155 I am to be suggstifying a contest of this nature, therefore such as.

Posted by: Lance McCormick at December 28, 2012 02:44 PM (zgHLA)

156 Sean must have taken lessons from this guy:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Izpa9D7c77U


Posted by: B at December 28, 2012 02:45 PM (5OEha)

157 152
the Bolivian judiciary has been totally vinegarated

Shall I compare thee to a Summers Eve?
Thou art more douchey and odiferous


Posted by: HeatherRadish™ needs a beer at December 28, 2012 02:44 PM (hO8IJ)

Ha ha ha ha ha!! I'll buy you a beer just for that, Heather!

Posted by: kathysaysso at December 28, 2012 02:45 PM (y5uWA)

158 Ostreicher, whose innocence was maligned by an arrest where only vague illusions to money laundering have been shown to be fabricated by corrupt officials within the Bolivian judiciary, whose motivation has proven to be extortion.”

I'm not saying I agree with his views but in the interest of better writing, here goes;

"Ostriecher's reputation was maligned by a false arrest due to corruption and money laundering within the Bolivian judiciary."

I do hope nobody is actually paying Penn for his thoughts.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at December 28, 2012 02:46 PM (VLe4D)

159 Funny how no one is blaming his editor or proof reader for allowing these flaws.


Except for all those people upthread who commented on the lack of editing. But other than that, you're right, no one did!

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD. Now with extra cross stitch. at December 28, 2012 02:46 PM (VtjlW)

160 142 126 Hey, remember "Mystic River?"

State of Grace rocked though.

It's like asking anyone if they recalled Bronco Billy. All actors have a dud somewhere.

Posted by: Mike Hunt at December 28, 2012 02:46 PM (G6kli)

161 Can Penneurisms be translated into English? I'll give it a shot.

“This can, and is, being very easily exampled with newly invigorated discussions with attention on the recognition and treatment of mental health..."

Translation: Folks are talking about mental health.

Posted by: USA at December 28, 2012 02:47 PM (RIg+t)

162 Speaking of douche.

Posted by: HeatherRadish™ needs a beer at December 28, 2012 02:47 PM (hO8IJ)

163 Dear Sir,
We are very sorry but we are forced to refuse your incomprehensible submission.

Posted by: Publisher's Clearing House at December 28, 2012 02:47 PM (n5uqx)

164 I made a Bolivian arugula salad and vinegarated the crap out of it.

Posted by: Sean Pen the chef at December 28, 2012 02:47 PM (Y6HTt)

165 Posted by: HeatherRadish™ needs a beer at December 28, 2012 02:47 PM (hO8IJ)

You go girl.

Posted by: Oldsailors Poet, aka Jack July author of Amy Lynn available on Amazon. at December 28, 2012 02:48 PM (l86i3)

166 157 152
the Bolivian judiciary has been totally vinegarated

Shall I compare thee to a Summers Eve?
Thou art more douchey and odiferous


Posted by: HeatherRadish™ needs a beer at December 28, 2012 02:44 PM (hO8IJ)

Ha ha ha ha ha!! I'll buy you a beer just for that, Heather!

---

Bah, fucking amateurs.


Oh freddled gruntbuggly/thy micturations are to me/As plurdled gabbleblotchits on a lurgid bee.

Groop I implore thee, my foonting turlingdromes. And hooptiously drangle me with crinkly bindlewurdles,

Or I will rend thee in the gobberwarts with my blurglecruncheon, see if I don't!

Posted by: Prostetnic Vogon Jeltz at December 28, 2012 02:48 PM (e0xKF)

167 Ask me how I know Sean Penn is a lifelong dope smoker.

Posted by: Count de Monet at December 28, 2012 02:49 PM (BAS5M)

168 I'm shocked Barry hasn't found a place for Sean in his administration. I hear there's an opening at the EPA....

Posted by: Jane D'oh at December 28, 2012 02:49 PM (UOM48)

169 159 Funny how no one is blaming his editor or proof reader for allowing these flaws.


Except for all those people upthread who commented on the lack of editing. But other than that, you're right, no one did!

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD. Now with extra cross stitch. at December 28, 2012 02:46 PM (VtjlW)

I missed the section of the original article where that was mentioned. Was that "upthread" as well?
But I will clarify and ask why the original article never mentioned lack of editing or proof reading? Could it be an attempt to sully the intelligence of Penn?

Posted by: Mike Hunt at December 28, 2012 02:49 PM (G6kli)

170 It's like asking anyone if they recalled Bronco Billy. All actors have a dud somewhere.

---

The difference is that Clint didn't win an Academy Award for any of his duds like Bronco Billy or City Heat.

Posted by: Brandon In Baton Rouge at December 28, 2012 02:49 PM (e0xKF)

171


And in other news: Syrian government airstrike kills 14 people, mostly women and children, anti-regime activists say - @AP


Acciedentally hit the old "Bush Button" there....I'm sure there will be a correction soon.

Posted by: Meremortal, time to slutdrop the GOPe at December 28, 2012 02:49 PM (jTKU5)

172 Ask me how I know Sean Penn is a lifelong dope smoker.
Posted by: Count de Monet at December 28, 2012 02:49 PM (BAS5M)


How do you know Penn is a life long dope smoker?

Posted by: Oldsailors Poet, aka Jack July author of Amy Lynn available on Amazon. at December 28, 2012 02:49 PM (l86i3)

173 154-It was much more than a inappropriate comma.

And "Gristle encased head-that was truly wonderful.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at December 28, 2012 02:49 PM (VLe4D)

174 Paging Mike Hunt! Will Mike Hunt PLEASE come to the reception desk? Paging Mike Hunt! Has anyone seen Mike Hunt?

Posted by: New Receptionist at December 28, 2012 02:49 PM (DrC22)

175 You know, as much as I loathe the malignant retard Penn, I'll give him credit for two things - he got to bang Madonna for the few minutes between hairy hippie chick and caulk-choked muscleskank that she was hawt and he went Ike Turner on her ass when shegot out of line. Beyond that? I got nothing.

Posted by: Mary Poppins' Practically Perfect Piercing at December 28, 2012 02:50 PM (zF6Iw)

176 I reckon that was one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in Sean's rambling, incoherent dribble was he even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having read it. I award you no french fried potaters, and may God have mercy on your soul. Mmmm hmmm.

Posted by: Karl Childers at December 28, 2012 02:50 PM (qR+xF)

177
My husband ran into him in a bookstore at Denver airport.
He said he radiated the angry vibe without even speaking.

Posted by: Who Knows at December 28, 2012 02:50 PM (W+Itt)

178 Could it be an attempt to sully the intelligence of Penn?

This wouldn't be nearly as funny if you weren't serious.

Posted by: Vizzini at December 28, 2012 02:50 PM (O7Q1u)

179 I'll bet Mike Hunt has the complete works of Sean Penn and faps to them every night.

Posted by: Jason Festerman, Liquid Ass affectionado at December 28, 2012 02:50 PM (UOM48)

180 And in other news: Syrian government airstrike kills 14 people, mostly women and children, anti-regime activists say - @AP

Which is actually related to this thread, as Penn supports the current Syrian regime...because Hugo Chavez does.

Posted by: HeatherRadish™ needs a beer at December 28, 2012 02:51 PM (hO8IJ)

181 Sorry for being OT, but the wife and I just returned from Hobby Lobby. If any morons have a "Man Cave" to decorate they have lots of sports and automobile themed items. Tin signs ect. Follow through and support businesses that share our values!

Posted by: connielu at December 28, 2012 02:51 PM (i0aCV)

182 looks like Sam I Am never got out of character ...

Posted by: JeffC at December 28, 2012 02:51 PM (A3tpD)

183 Pennwing Plover.

Posted by: eleven at December 28, 2012 02:51 PM (fsLdt)

184 I find it silly to be a Grammar or Spelling Nazi these days.

This isn't about that. Its about bloviating incoherence.

Posted by: @PurpAv at December 28, 2012 02:51 PM (TBTjX)

185 >>Midvale School For The Gifted.

My son cracked up over that and now does it in public.

I don't know where he gets it from...

Posted by: Mama AJ at December 28, 2012 02:51 PM (SUKHu)

186 This is probably the beginning of the road to--

Sean Penn for Senate!

Posted by: tasker at December 28, 2012 02:51 PM (r2PLg)

187 177
My husband ran into him in a bookstore at Denver airport.
He said he radiated the angry vibe without even speaking

---

He was probably pissed that the stewardess told him to put his tray-table up, as he could continue coloring after takeoff.

Posted by: Brandon In Baton Rouge at December 28, 2012 02:51 PM (e0xKF)

188 170 It's like asking anyone if they recalled Bronco Billy. All actors have a dud somewhere.

---

The difference is that Clint didn't win an Academy Award for any of his duds like Bronco Billy or City Heat.

Posted by: Brandon In Baton Rouge at December 28, 2012 02:49 PM (e0xKF)

So you are an expert on what deserves an academy award and what doesn't?

Posted by: Mike Hunt at December 28, 2012 02:52 PM (G6kli)

189 State of Grace rocked though. It's like asking anyone if they recalled Bronco Billy. All actors have a dud somewhere.
Posted by: Mike Hunt at December 28, 2012 02:46 PM (G6kli)


Oh, look, Troll boy is back.

Mikey, you realize "Mystic River" was nominated for a pantsload of Academy Awards, right? It was hardly a dud. What it WAS was an utterly forgettable and a boring bit of psychobabbling emotive garbage.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Hobbit at December 28, 2012 02:52 PM (4df7R)

190 Wish J.J. were around to explain to us why very talented actors tend to be

A) Liberal
B) Dumb

Posted by: Cricket at December 28, 2012 02:52 PM (DrC22)

191 I find it silly to be a Grammar or Spelling Nazi these days.


The troll has spoken. We can wrap up the thread now.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at December 28, 2012 02:52 PM (QKKT0)

192 heheh...


http://tinyurl.com/cqplntr




Posted by: dananjcon at December 28, 2012 02:52 PM (jvd3N)

193 Sean Penn's movies makes muh eyes rain.

Posted by: Karusky at December 28, 2012 02:52 PM (dO4L7)

194
186This is probably the beginning of the road to--

Sean Penn for Senate!

---------

Kerry's seat?

Posted by: wheatie at December 28, 2012 02:53 PM (K4wCe)

195
The nuns taught me in third grade that the point of writing is to clearly explain your point, using the words you need to do that and no more.

Sister Perpetua would have given Sean an F.

Posted by: Who Knows at December 28, 2012 02:53 PM (W+Itt)

196 I thought Eric Roberts was the stupidest person in Hollywood.

I was mistaken.

If a commenter here wrote like that they would be laughed out of the building.

Posted by: eleven at December 28, 2012 02:53 PM (fsLdt)

197 He was probably pissed that the stewardess told him to put his tray-table up, as he could continue coloring after takeoff.

He was also angry that the bookstore didn't carry the unabridged works of Kim Jong Ill.

Posted by: Hollowpoint at December 28, 2012 02:53 PM (SY2Kh)

198 184 I find it silly to be a Grammar or Spelling Nazi these days.

This isn't about that. Its about bloviating incoherence.

Posted by: @PurpAv at December 28, 2012 02:51 PM (TBTjX)

No. It's about someone, who for whatever reason, submitted an article that wasn't properly vetted by an editor or proof reader.

You think everyone waxes eloquent out of the box?

Posted by: Mike Hunt at December 28, 2012 02:53 PM (G6kli)

199 Warz mah kray ons?

warz mah fukking kray ons!!!!


I has to rite a impotanm thinking don.

Posted by: Shon Pann at December 28, 2012 02:54 PM (54vf8)

200 189 State of Grace rocked though. It's like asking anyone if they recalled Bronco Billy. All actors have a dud somewhere.
Posted by: Mike Hunt at December 28, 2012 02:46 PM (G6kli)

Oh, look, Troll boy is back.

Mikey, you realize "Mystic River" was nominated for a pantsload of Academy Awards, right? It was hardly a dud. What it WAS was an utterly forgettable and a boring bit of psychobabbling emotive garbage.
Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Hobbit at December 28, 2012 02:52 PM (4df7R)

_______________________

I refuse to watch that movie.

What I do know of it is--

it's Susan Sarandon's ex live in Boy Toy and Sean Penn blubbering on a stoop somewhere--

Looking for an Oscar.

Oooh look--I can cry!!

Posted by: tasker at December 28, 2012 02:54 PM (r2PLg)

201 Now I know why Democrats think they're so damned smart. This is their yardstick.

Posted by: AmishDude at December 28, 2012 02:54 PM (hrAg/)

202 Dear gawd, Mike Hunt.

This has to be a sock.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at December 28, 2012 02:54 PM (UOM48)

203 >>You think everyone waxes eloquent out of the box?
Obviously not

Posted by: Albie Damned at December 28, 2012 02:55 PM (D2wZD)

204 Heh. Penn's (and many of the Hollyweird crowd's) musings are like web spam sites: word salads that say everything and nothing at the same time just to draw search engines. It's gibberish by design to hide in plain view what it actually is.

Posted by: AnonymousDrivel at December 28, 2012 02:55 PM (eHIJJ)

205 189 State of Grace rocked though. It's like asking anyone if they recalled Bronco Billy. All actors have a dud somewhere.
Posted by: Mike Hunt at December 28, 2012 02:46 PM (G6kli)

Oh, look, Troll boy is back.

Mikey, you realize "Mystic River" was nominated for a pantsload of Academy Awards, right? It was hardly a dud. What it WAS was an utterly forgettable and a boring bit of psychobabbling emotive garbage.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Hobbit at December 28, 2012 02:52 PM (4df7R)

It wasn't that bad. Fuck Gladiator was dreck and it won.

Posted by: Mike Hunt at December 28, 2012 02:55 PM (G6kli)

206 The anagram of Sean Pen - Sam I Am just happens to be...

Amnesias Penman

Kind of says it all.

Posted by: Vizzini at December 28, 2012 02:55 PM (O7Q1u)

207 I missed the section of the original article where that was mentioned. Was that "upthread" as well?


I missed the section of your comment where you said "no one in the article" as opposed to "no one". Those are not the same things.


But I will clarify and ask why the original article never mentioned lack of editing or proof reading? Could it be an attempt to sully the intelligence of Penn?
Posted by: Mike Hunt at December 28, 2012 02:49 PM (G6kli)



So I take it that accurately reproducing the words authored by Sean Penn is somehow sullying his intelligence rather than, say, Sean Penn's own writings doing that perfectly well on their own? Just to clarify.

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD. Now with extra cross stitch. at December 28, 2012 02:56 PM (VtjlW)

208 194
186This is probably the beginning of the road to--

Sean Penn for Senate!

---------

Kerry's seat?
Posted by: wheatie at December 28, 2012 02:53 PM (K4wCe)

_____________________

Oh snikes!

He might have to box Matt Damon! or Ben Affleck for it.

Posted by: tasker at December 28, 2012 02:56 PM (r2PLg)

209 This has to be a sock.
Posted by: Jane D'oh at December 28, 2012 02:54 PM (UOM4

Nope, just a dimestore contrarian troll.

Posted by: Oldsailors Poet, aka Jack July author of Amy Lynn available on Amazon. at December 28, 2012 02:56 PM (l86i3)

210 Could it be an attempt to sully the intelligence of Penn?



Posted by: Mike Hunt at December 28, 2012 02:49 PM (G6kli)


Pretty damned hard to to that--seems he has put his "intelligence" on full view of everyone around. Can't ruin what is already in the crapper.

Posted by: tcn at December 28, 2012 02:56 PM (VLG62)

211 203 >>You think everyone waxes eloquent out of the box?
Obviously not

Posted by: Albie Damned at December 28, 2012 02:55 PM (D2wZD)

Pain killers are still in the system. Fucking Gout.

Posted by: Mike Hunt at December 28, 2012 02:56 PM (G6kli)

212 Sister Perpetua would have given Sean an F.

Holy shit my insane 9th grade English teacher Brother Robert would have torn offSean's head and shit down his neck for that.

Hyperbole? Not as much as you might think.

Brother Robert was insane.

Posted by: eleven at December 28, 2012 02:57 PM (fsLdt)

213 You think everyone waxes eloquent out of the box?
Posted by: Mike Hunt at December 28, 2012 02:53 PM (G6kli)


I think someone who professes to be "A writer who is often written about" should know the first thing about, you know, WRITING.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Hobbit at December 28, 2012 02:57 PM (4df7R)

214 You think everyone waxes eloquent out of the box?

Posted by: Mike Hunt at December 28, 2012 02:53 PM (G6kli)

-----
No.... but I usually pay someone else to "tidy up" "down there"....

Posted by: Meghan McCain at December 28, 2012 02:57 PM (nELVU)

215 No. It's about someone, who for whatever reason, submitted an article that wasn't properly vetted by an editor or proof reader.>>

The Huffington post is a site to publish on not a newspaper. Scriptor emptor

Posted by: Buzzsaw at December 28, 2012 02:57 PM (Y6HTt)

216 Wow. He is dum

Posted by: Simple Jack at December 28, 2012 02:57 PM (K+mtQ)

217
198...You think everyone waxes eloquent out of the box?

Posted by: Mike Hunt at December 28, 2012 02:53 PM (G6kli)

--------------

The people who can't afford proof-readers seem to do rather well on their own.

But then, they aren't members of the 'celebrity elite' who, of course, cannot be held to any standards whatsoever.

Posted by: wheatie at December 28, 2012 02:57 PM (K4wCe)

218 Dear Kind Sirs:


Please stop denigrating the good name of "Clown Colleges" by insinuating that Mr Penn attended one. As a member of the AAACCACU (the American Association of Associated Clown Colleges and Clown Universities), we have high standards that Mr Penn could never achieve. His lack of physical stature means that he would have great difficulty delivering a cream pie to another clown's face, and he would definitely be at risk for an injury by having to hold a seltzer bottle above his head to deliver a seltzer water shot down someone's pants.

Thank you very much for your attention to this matter. And as our late distinguished poet laureate of the College Mr Chuckles said, "a little song, a little dance, a little seltzer down your pants".

Thank You,

Dr. Giggly
Dean
Ohio College of Clown Arts
http://www.ohiocollegeclowningarts.com/

Posted by: Dr. Giggly, Dean, Ohio College of Clown Arts at December 28, 2012 02:57 PM (Zd/NW)

219 188 170 It's like asking anyone if they recalled Bronco Billy. All actors have a dud somewhere.

---

The difference is that Clint didn't win an Academy Award for any of his duds like Bronco Billy or City Heat.

Posted by: Brandon In Baton Rouge at December 28, 2012 02:49 PM (e0xKF)

So you are an expert on what deserves an academy award and what doesn't?

---

Considering that the criteria for an Academy Award for acting tends to be:

1. You play a historical figure
2. You perform in a period piece
3. You play someone with a mental or physical disability
4. You make yourself ugly / play against type
5. You are Meryl Streep
6. You are an actor with a long career who has never won despite deserving performances in the past

Yeah, I'd say I am an expert.

Posted by: Brandon In Baton Rouge at December 28, 2012 02:58 PM (e0xKF)

220 It wasn't that bad. Fuck Gladiator was dreck and it won.
Posted by: Mike Hunt at December 28, 2012 02:55 PM (G6kli)


I know. It shouldn't have. Sorry, folks, can't stand "Gladiator."

And yes, Mystic River really was that bad.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Hobbit at December 28, 2012 02:58 PM (4df7R)

221 Ah has ecksampled manny geeneeus thots!

Posted by: Shon Pann at December 28, 2012 02:58 PM (54vf8)

222 But I will clarify and ask why the original article never mentioned lack
of editing or proof reading? Could it be an attempt to sully the
intelligence of Penn?


You can't sully what doesn't exist.

I can almost guarantee that he proof read that steaming pile until he was cross-eyed. He's just too dumb to know how dumb he sounds. I'm certain that you can relate.

Posted by: Hollowpoint at December 28, 2012 02:58 PM (SY2Kh)

223 I blame Madonna. Posted by: Jane D'oh at December 28, 2012 02:20 PM (UOM4
Me too, for my love of young platinum blondes in lingerie.
Posted by: Oldsailors Poet, aka Jack July author of Amy Lynn available on Amazon. at December 28, 2012 02:22 PM (l86i3)


Because I'm a giver, OSP:
http://tinyurl.com/c5ljcka

Posted by: Mary Poppins' Practically Perfect Piercing at December 28, 2012 02:58 PM (zF6Iw)

224 204
Heh. Penn's (and many of the Hollyweird crowd's) musings are like web
spam sites: word salads that say everything and nothing at the same time
just to draw search engines. It's gibberish by design to hide in plain
view what it actually is.


Posted by: AnonymousDrivel at December 28, 2012 02:55 PM (eHIJJ)

Bring on MACHINES FOR SALE!
And toss in some lace wigs while we are at it.

Posted by: tcn at December 28, 2012 02:58 PM (VLG62)

225 Remember that email he sent in 2004? It was hilarious. I tried to find it a couple of years ago but I was unsuccessful.

Posted by: red at December 28, 2012 02:58 PM (ymJbM)

226
Mike Hunt has to wait in line to use the public computers, at the library that he was tracked down to the other day.
This leaves him with a pointy, pointyburr in his squeakhole.

Posted by: Who Knows at December 28, 2012 02:58 PM (W+Itt)

227 He might have to box Matt Damon! or Ben Affleck for it.
Posted by: tasker at December 28, 2012 02:56 PM (r2PLg)

You know, that, todays public school educated actor for senate, thing. Quickly falls apart when they have to debate or speak off the cuff in public.

Posted by: Oldsailors Poet, aka Jack July author of Amy Lynn available on Amazon. at December 28, 2012 02:59 PM (l86i3)

228 Someone's been huffing the Liquid Ass again!

Huffing? He's been buttchugging it by the barrel!

Posted by: rickb223 at December 28, 2012 02:59 PM (GFM2b)

229 You think everyone waxes eloquent out of the box?
Obviously not
Posted by: Albie Damned at December 28, 2012 02:55 PM (D2wZD)



Oh hey it's been minutes and minutes since we've had that fight around here.

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD. Now with extra cross stitch. at December 28, 2012 02:59 PM (VtjlW)

230 Don't waste your breath arguing with my fanboys. Their all ways correct.

Posted by: Sean Penn at December 28, 2012 02:59 PM (/ZZCn)

231 Doesn't anybody listen to me anymore?!?

Posted by: Mark Twain at December 28, 2012 03:00 PM (hrAg/)

232 The sentence diagram looks like a map of the New York subway system. I think we're onto something here.

Posted by: Andy at December 28, 2012 03:00 PM (OZPoa)

233 I would pay to see him debate stephen weber

Posted by: seaniep at December 28, 2012 03:00 PM (+0Mva)

234 eleven: "Pennwing Plover."

Heh.

But I miss Spurwing. Pennwing not so much.

Posted by: AnonymousDrivel at December 28, 2012 03:00 PM (eHIJJ)

235 210 Could it be an attempt to sully the intelligence of Penn?



Posted by: Mike Hunt at December 28, 2012 02:49 PM (G6kli)


Pretty damned hard to to that--seems he has put his "intelligence" on full view of everyone around. Can't ruin what is already in the crapper.

Posted by: tcn at December 28, 2012 02:56 PM (VLG62)

He ain't MENSA material. He isn't a star I would watch a film for.

But the fact remains that unless he specifically requested his article be posted as is there was a system failure. All writers submit materials which require proof reading and editing. They get rushed, they get sick, they get buzzed. That's why someone gets paid for corrections.

Posted by: Mike Hunt at December 28, 2012 03:00 PM (G6kli)

236 But I will clarify and ask why the original article never mentioned lack of editing or proof reading? Could it be an attempt to sully the intelligence of Penn?

Um, because that's kind of the whole POINT of the article? And it's expected that the reader will garner, through context, that that is indeed the point? Because, you know, Sean Penn is an illterate head case? Helloooo, anybody home?

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Hobbit at December 28, 2012 03:00 PM (4df7R)

237 The sentence diagram looks like a map of the New York subway system. I think we're onto something here.
Posted by: Andy at December 28, 2012 03:00 PM (OZPoa)



Wait, we're allowed to push people off of it?

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD. Now with extra cross stitch. at December 28, 2012 03:00 PM (VtjlW)

238 You think everyone waxes eloquent out of the box?

Posted by: Mike Hunt at December 28, 2012 02:53 PM (G6kli)

-----

No.... but I usually pay someone else to "tidy up" "down there"....


Posted by: Meghan McCain at December 28, 2012 02:57 PM (nELVU)

>>>>

Now cleaning up spray from laptop screen.

Posted by: Count de Monet at December 28, 2012 03:01 PM (BAS5M)

239 Posted by: Mary Poppins' Practically Perfect Piercing at December 28, 2012 02:58 PM (zF6Iw)

I guess that what granpa meant about the good ole days.

Posted by: Oldsailors Poet, aka Jack July author of Amy Lynn available on Amazon. at December 28, 2012 03:01 PM (l86i3)

240 I remember reading the op-ed Penn wrote for the Washington Post just before the start of the Iraq War. He addressed it directly to GWB, but the entire letter was just a garbled mess. I half expected him to sign the letter Sam I Am, it was that retarded.

Posted by: Buckeye Tom at December 28, 2012 03:01 PM (7CdAO)

241
I would pay to see him debate stephen weber


I would pay to see him debate a turnip.

$100 on the turnip.

Posted by: Vizzini at December 28, 2012 03:01 PM (O7Q1u)

242 Scriptor emptor>>

Oh crap Ace didn't edit this to keep me from looking stupid. That should be Caveat Scriptor.

Posted by: Buzzsaw at December 28, 2012 03:01 PM (Y6HTt)

243 1. You play a historical figure 2. You perform in a period piece 3. You play someone with a mental or physical disability 4. You make yourself ugly / play against type 5. You are Meryl Streep 6. You are an actor with a long career who has never won despite deserving performances in the past Yeah, I'd say I am an expert.

You forgot playing a gay. With teh aids.

Hank's wonthat Academy Award the day they started shooting.

Posted by: eleven at December 28, 2012 03:01 PM (fsLdt)

244 He isn't a star I would watch a film for.

-----


Fuuuuuck.......

It's contagious.

Posted by: fixerupper at December 28, 2012 03:01 PM (nELVU)

245 240 I remember reading the op-ed Penn wrote for the Washington Post just before the start of the Iraq War. He addressed it directly to GWB, but the entire letter was just a garbled mess. I half expected him to sign the letter Sam I Am, it was that retarded.

---

Don't forget about the kids flying kites, rainbows all around, and rivers of chocolate before the US arrived.

Posted by: Brandon In Baton Rouge at December 28, 2012 03:02 PM (e0xKF)

246 You know, that, todays public school educated actor for senate, thing. Quickly falls apart when they have to debate or speak off the cuff in public.
Posted by: Oldsailors Poet, aka Jack July author of Amy Lynn available on Amazon. at December 28, 2012 02:59 PM (l86i3)


_____________________________


Massachusetts.

Elizabeth Warren.

I rest my case.

Plus--Senator Al Franken.

Posted by: tasker at December 28, 2012 03:02 PM (r2PLg)

247
231 Doesn't anybody listen to me anymore?!?
Posted by: Mark Twain at December 28, 2012 03:00 PM (hrAg/)


You wrote Jim's dialogue in "slave dialect," so no. You're just another old, dead white guy racist.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Hobbit at December 28, 2012 03:02 PM (4df7R)

248 Sean Penn is to writing as Barry Obama is to math.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at December 28, 2012 03:02 PM (UOM48)

249 That's why someone gets paid for corrections.

Posted by: Mike Hunt at December 28, 2012 03:00 PM (G6kli)

Sweetie, the only thing a good editor could do in good conscience with that material is subject it to a blast from a 30-30.

Posted by: tcn at December 28, 2012 03:03 PM (VLG62)

250 >>>Sean Penn is to writing as Barry Obama is to math.

Now wait just one fucking minute!

Posted by: Math at December 28, 2012 03:03 PM (O7Q1u)

251 OSP, UPS just delivered your book!!!!!!!

Now quit staring at me from the back cover...

Posted by: Mama AJ at December 28, 2012 03:03 PM (SUKHu)

252 243 1. You play a historical figure 2. You perform in a period piece 3. You play someone with a mental or physical disability 4. You make yourself ugly / play against type 5. You are Meryl Streep 6. You are an actor with a long career who has never won despite deserving performances in the past Yeah, I'd say I am an expert.

You forgot playing a gay. With teh aids.

Hank's wonthat Academy Award the day they started shooting.

---

AIDS falls into #3.

Being teh gay deserves its own number, which should be "being a member of a minority group which Hollywood wants to "bring awareness" to."

Posted by: Brandon In Baton Rouge at December 28, 2012 03:03 PM (e0xKF)

253
Massachusetts.

Elizabeth Warren.

I rest my case.

Plus--Senator Al Franken.

Posted by: tasker at December 28, 2012 03:02 PM (r2PLg)

Dammit.

Posted by: Oldsailors Poet, aka Jack July author of Amy Lynn available on Amazon. at December 28, 2012 03:04 PM (l86i3)

254 He's obviously Booked on Phonics.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Izpa9D7c77U

Posted by: Phelps at December 28, 2012 03:04 PM (zJH/w)

255 248
Sean Penn is to writing as Barry Obama is to math.


Posted by: Jane D'oh at December 28, 2012 03:02 PM (UOM4


Really, Jane, is it kind to pick on the retards?

I denounce myself.

Posted by: tcn at December 28, 2012 03:04 PM (VLG62)

256 I would pay to see him debate stephen weber

If we could somehow convince him to get into a Twitter debate with José Canseco, that right there would be some quality entertainment.

Posted by: Hollowpoint at December 28, 2012 03:04 PM (SY2Kh)

257 106 >>>“Ostreicher, whose innocence was maligned by an arrest where only vague illusions to money laundering have been shown to be fabricated by corrupt officials within the Bolivian judiciary, whose motivation has proven to be extortion.”No verb
---------
Verbs? We don't need no stinking verbs!

Posted by: Javems at December 28, 2012 03:04 PM (nTgAI)

258 I know. It shouldn't have. Sorry, folks, can't stand "Gladiator."

Man I wanted to like that movie. Gadzooks what a snoozer.

Posted by: eleven at December 28, 2012 03:04 PM (fsLdt)

259 256 I would pay to see him debate stephen weber

If we could somehow convince him to get into a Twitter debate with José Canseco, that right there would be some quality entertainment.

---

It doesn't count if Jose sends in his brother Ozzie as a ringer.

Posted by: Brandon In Baton Rouge at December 28, 2012 03:04 PM (e0xKF)

260 Considering that the criteria for an Academy Award for acting tends to be:

1. You play a historical figure
2. You perform in a period piece
3. You play someone with a mental or physical disability
4. You make yourself ugly / play against type
5. You are Meryl Streep
6. You are an actor with a long career who has never won despite deserving performances in the past

Yeah, I'd say I am an expert.

Posted by: Brandon In Baton Rouge at December 28, 2012 02:58 PM (e0xKF)

I guess Denzel Washington kind of shoots your criteria to shit.

Posted by: Mike Hunt at December 28, 2012 03:05 PM (G6kli)

261 If we could somehow convince him to get into a Twitter debate with José Canseco, that right there would be some quality entertainment.
Posted by: Hollowpoint at December 28, 2012 03:04 PM (SY2Kh)


Could a Twitter conversation win the Nobel Prize for Literature? Because i would be willing to copy/paste the HELL out of that.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Hobbit at December 28, 2012 03:05 PM (4df7R)

262 OSP, UPS just delivered your book!!!!!!!

Now quit staring at me from the back cover...

Just think what he's staring at when it's in your lap while you are reading it.

Posted by: rickb223 at December 28, 2012 03:05 PM (GFM2b)

263 Duuuddde.... my Dad has an AWSOME Typewriter....

Posted by: Jeff Spicoli at December 28, 2012 03:05 PM (lZBBB)

264 OSP, UPS just delivered your book!!!!!!!

Now quit staring at me from the back cover...
Posted by: Mama AJ at December 28, 2012 03:03 PM (SUKHu)

Thank you.

Posted by: Oldsailors Poet, aka Jack July author of Amy Lynn available on Amazon. at December 28, 2012 03:05 PM (l86i3)

265 Actually, I don't think Obama's any better at writing. I don't think we've ever seen unedited writing from him. The closest is the nuclear freeze article he wrote for the Columbia newspaper.

Posted by: AmishDude at December 28, 2012 03:05 PM (hrAg/)

266 He's actually a perfect fit for the writing stylings of Huffpo.

Posted by: Bosk at December 28, 2012 03:05 PM (n2K+4)

267 I guess Denzel Washington kind of shoots your criteria to shit.

Posted by: Mike Hunt at December 28, 2012 03:05 PM (G6kli)

Denzel is eye candy. That's about it.

Posted by: tcn at December 28, 2012 03:05 PM (VLG62)

268 Could it be an attempt to sully the intelligence of Penn?

Objection!! Assumes factsnot in evidence!

Posted by: TV Lawyer Count de Monet at December 28, 2012 03:06 PM (BAS5M)

269 I am thisclose to calling up my parents and yelling at them for raising me with a modicum of work ethic. Why? Because otherwise I would suddenly develop a cold koffkoff and leave.

*spins in chair more*

Also this is strangely on topic but when replying to an email asking do you want to do option a, option b or option c, yes is not an appropriate response you mouthbreathing jackhole do not make me come through the monitor and smack your head off the desk what the fuck is wrong with you you shit for brains waste of dna arrrrrggggggghhhhh.


Huh. Maybe I should have had decaf.

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD. Now with extra cross stitch. at December 28, 2012 03:06 PM (VtjlW)

270 Penn's eloquence with penning gives evidence to the hard exampled.

Posted by: Soona at December 28, 2012 03:07 PM (uTKu9)

271 Huh. Maybe I should have had decaf.

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD. Now with extra cross stitch. at December 28, 2012 03:06 PM (VtjlW)

Yes. **ducks**

Posted by: tcn at December 28, 2012 03:07 PM (VLG62)

272 >>I half expected him to sign the letter Sam I Am

Wasn't that movie autobiographical?

Posted by: Albie Damned at December 28, 2012 03:07 PM (D2wZD)

273 265
Actually, I don't think Obama's any better at writing. I don't think
we've ever seen unedited writing from him. The closest is the nuclear
freeze article he wrote for the Columbia newspaper.

Posted by: AmishDude at December 28, 2012 03:05 PM (hrAg/)



Mooch is a pretty good writer, right?????
/sarc for Mike Hunt, bless his heart

Posted by: Jane D'oh at December 28, 2012 03:07 PM (UOM48)

274 I guess Denzel Washington kind of shoots your criteria to shit.
Posted by: Mike Hunt at December 28, 2012 03:05 PM (G6kli)


Best Supporting Actor for "Glory" - Period Piece
Best Actor for "Training Day" - played a hardnose badass - Playing Against Type

Try again, sugar.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Hobbit at December 28, 2012 03:07 PM (4df7R)

275 253
Massachusetts.

Elizabeth Warren.

I rest my case.

Plus--Senator Al Franken.

Posted by: tasker at December 28, 2012 03:02 PM (r2PLg)

Dammit.
Posted by: Oldsailors Poet, aka Jack July author of Amy Lynn available on Amazon. at December 28, 2012 03:04 PM (l86i3)


________________________


Well we're even.

I actually spent 10 minutes looking for the source to--

Instapundit's Hillary has canker sores--joke.

Glenn should knock it off.

The Democrat Aristocracy is beyond parody.

Posted by: tasker at December 28, 2012 03:07 PM (r2PLg)

276 259 256 I would pay to see him debate stephen weber

If we could somehow convince him to get into a Twitter debate with José Canseco, that right there would be some quality entertainment.

---

It doesn't count if Jose sends in his brother Ozzie as a ringer.

Posted by: Brandon In Baton Rouge at December 28, 2012 03:04 PM (e0xKF)

Remember when SNL would do the star Jeopardy skits?

Posted by: Mike Hunt at December 28, 2012 03:07 PM (G6kli)

277 Holy Shit!!! An actual dyed in the wool Sean Penn Fan Boi???

and also...Fuck.

I love being able to do that...

Posted by: Portnoy at December 28, 2012 03:08 PM (A5Abh)

278 I'm thinking Penn should sue his parents for making him live in a world where everyone is more intelligent than he.

Posted by: tcn at December 28, 2012 03:08 PM (VLG62)

279 Denzel is eye candy. That's about it.
Posted by: tcn at December 28, 2012 03:05 PM (VLG62)



Men On Film said it best "Warning, the movie The Black Stallion" is not about Denzel Washington".

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD. Now with extra cross stitch. at December 28, 2012 03:08 PM (VtjlW)

280 The era of Max Perkins is long gone.

What I don't understand is why these people like Penn, McCain, Streisand, etc., fork over a few bucks to hire an editor. They could even hire an English major for a few bucks. I suspect that they are so effin arrogant, they don't realize how horrible their writing really is.

Posted by: red at December 28, 2012 03:08 PM (ymJbM)

281 *spins in chair more*

Me luffs u.

Posted by: eleven at December 28, 2012 03:08 PM (fsLdt)

282 >>Just think what he's staring at when it's in your lap while you are reading it.

I put the book next to a bra catalog and he's quieted down some.

Posted by: Mama AJ at December 28, 2012 03:08 PM (SUKHu)

283 Maybe I should have had decaf.

I'm thinking maybe just plain water.

Posted by: rickb223 at December 28, 2012 03:08 PM (GFM2b)

284
Maybe HuffPo printed Penn's article "as-is" to embarrass him.


I'm embarrassed for the whole shootin' match, as the old cowboy said.


Remedial English, MF'er, take it.

Posted by: Meremortal, time to slutdrop the GOPe at December 28, 2012 03:09 PM (jTKU5)

285 You think everyone waxes eloquent out of the box?

If they proof their own shit first and apply standard Strunk and White rules, "writing malfunctions" like this are virtually eliminated.

I've had a number of things published in tech journals and manuals. They were accepted and printed VERBATIM. Of course, I reworked each one about 20 times and applied Strunk and White rules prior to submitting. The tech writers and editors said they didn't need to change anything.

Posted by: @PurpAv at December 28, 2012 03:09 PM (TBTjX)

286 275 253
Massachusetts.

Elizabeth Warren.

I rest my case.

Plus--Senator Al Franken.

What about Sonny and the ever qualified Mary Bono?

Posted by: Mike Hunt at December 28, 2012 03:09 PM (G6kli)

287 Men On Film said it best "Warning, the movie The Black Stallion" is not about Denzel Washington".
Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD. Now with extra cross stitch. at December 28, 2012 03:08 PM (VtjlW)


LOL! Alas, tis true.
These days they'd have to amend that to, "The Black Stallion is about neither Denzel Washington nor RGIII."

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Hobbit at December 28, 2012 03:10 PM (4df7R)

288 Remember, Shawn Pen, that it is up to yourself to strive to be adequate.

Posted by: Lindsay Lohan at December 28, 2012 03:10 PM (K+mtQ)

289 Just think what he's staring at when it's in your lap while you are reading it.

Posted by: rickb223 at December 28, 2012 03:05 PM (GFM2b)




You owe me a new screen.

Posted by: BCochran1981 at December 28, 2012 03:11 PM (IvVLN)

290 I want to see Sean Penn diagram that "furball" sentence fragment on national TV, at gunpoint.

Posted by: Jeffrey Quick at December 28, 2012 03:11 PM (g9neE)

291 But the fact remains that unless he specifically requested his article be posted as is there was a system failure.

Chernobyl didn't have that much of a system failure.

Posted by: Mary Poppins' Practically Perfect Piercing at December 28, 2012 03:12 PM (zF6Iw)

292 There's no law against proofreading yourself BTW. I do with everything I write.

As far as diagramming that monstrosity.....my insane 9th grade English teacher's head would explode so hard it could be heard from space.

Posted by: eleven at December 28, 2012 03:13 PM (fsLdt)

293 286 275 253
Massachusetts.

Elizabeth Warren.

I rest my case.

Plus--Senator Al Franken.

What about Sonny and the ever qualified Mary Bono?
Posted by: Mike Hunt at December 28, 2012 03:09 PM (G6kli)

_________________________

Do you REALLY want to go there schmucks?

Well do you?


Hillary.

Obama.

Most of the Kennedys.

Donilon.

Jean Carnahan.

Every Dem con artist elected to office in New Jersey.

The Daleys of Chi-Town.

Posted by: tasker at December 28, 2012 03:13 PM (r2PLg)

294 Isn't he spending this holiday season playing a psychotic killer? With all those dead children laying around? I'm outraged,

But jeez, an illiterate drop-out from an American public high school. What ARE the odds?

Posted by: richard mcenroe at December 28, 2012 03:13 PM (qvify)

295 I just keep picturing him bailing out his boat with a cup and then picking up a pen and writing another paragraph...

Posted by: Mama AJ at December 28, 2012 03:13 PM (SUKHu)

296 I also Flesch/Kincaid any professional writing I do and make sure it comes in at a 9th grade reading level for final copy since I tend to emit 13 or 14th grade sentences on the first draft.

Posted by: @PurpAv at December 28, 2012 03:13 PM (TBTjX)

297 286 275 253
Massachusetts.

Elizabeth Warren.

I rest my case.

Plus--Senator Al Franken.

What about Sonny and the ever qualified Mary Bono?

--- What about them?

Posted by: gigg423 at December 28, 2012 03:14 PM (41VCE)

298 Sean Penn, that is, not the other writer I was talking about!

Posted by: Mama AJ at December 28, 2012 03:14 PM (SUKHu)

299 you mouthbreathing jackhole do not make me come through the monitor and smack your head off the desk what the fuck is wrong with you you shit for brains waste of dna arrrrrggggggghhhhh.


Huh. Maybe I should have had decaf.

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD. Now with extra cross stitch. at December 28, 2012 03:06 PM (VtjlW)



Here, feel better.


http://tinyurl.com/bqyo9o4

Posted by: BCochran1981 at December 28, 2012 03:14 PM (IvVLN)

300 Good Lord. I hope that illiterate nutcase doesn't own any firearms.

What the hell language was he writing? Venezuelan?

Posted by: bacadog at December 28, 2012 03:14 PM (sLH8K)

301 I guess Denzel Washington kind of shoots your criteria to shit.
Posted by: Mike Hunt at December 28, 2012 03:05 PM (G6kli)

Best Supporting Actor for "Glory" - Period Piece
Best Actor for "Training Day" - played a hardnose badass - Playing Against Type

Try again, sugar.

Posted by: MWR


Also The Hurricane. Period piece set in 1966.
Nominated, Best Actor.

Mike, I can see why you would leap to Penn's defense.

Posted by: weft cut-loop at December 28, 2012 03:15 PM (KDq5l)

302 Oh how about--


Crack Pipe--

Marion "Bitch Set Me Up! Barry?

Posted by: tasker at December 28, 2012 03:15 PM (r2PLg)

303 300 Good Lord. I hope that illiterate nutcase doesn't own any firearms.

What the hell language was he writing? Venezuelan?

---

Whatever kind of socialist dialect his daddy taught him while "on break" thanks to his presence on the Hollywood Black List for being a card-carrying Communist.

Posted by: Brandon In Baton Rouge at December 28, 2012 03:15 PM (e0xKF)

304 I guess Denzel Washington kind of shoots your criteria to shit.

See item #3 - "mental or physical disability." Hollywood insists that being black in AmeriKKKa is a disability, with the white man keeping you down and knocking up your wimmens and all that.

Posted by: Mary Poppins' Practically Perfect Piercing at December 28, 2012 03:15 PM (zF6Iw)

305 I also Flesch/Kincaid any professional writing I do and make sure it comes in at a 9th grade reading level for final copy since I tend to emit 13 or 14th grade sentences on the first draft.

9th grade is easy. Try keeping it an Arkansas or Kentucky level.

Posted by: rickb223 at December 28, 2012 03:16 PM (GFM2b)

306 Posted by: BCochran1981 at December 28, 2012 03:14 PM (IvVLN)


If that is a spider and/or a clown, there is no force in the universe that will save you.

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD. Now with extra cross stitch. at December 28, 2012 03:16 PM (VtjlW)

307 WTF...Obama's approval is in the mid 50s? Unreal.

Posted by: Mr. Moo Moo at December 28, 2012 03:17 PM (HDgX3)

308 Posted by: Dr. Giggly, Dean, Ohio College of Clown Arts

*applause*

Posted by: HeatherRadish™ needs a beer at December 28, 2012 03:17 PM (hO8IJ)

309 Will the Left call for a ban on high capacity hip-hop?

tinyurl.com/c8bjbfn

Posted by: USA at December 28, 2012 03:17 PM (RIg+t)

310 Louisiana Dem--

Edwin Edwards.

Torricelli.

Alcee Hastings--Impeached judge.

Trafficant.

Willam "Cold Cash" Jefferson.

Posted by: tasker at December 28, 2012 03:18 PM (r2PLg)

311 LOL
I mean seriously if Sonny Bono is the worst you got from the Republican side for stupidity. Mr. Bono was many things, but I really don't think being incredibly stupid was one of them. Now compared with the endless list of complete fucking idiocy we see on a regular basis from the democrats.
Sorry man, you have to do better than that.

Posted by: gigg423 at December 28, 2012 03:18 PM (41VCE)

312 If that is a spider and/or a clown, there is no force in the universe that will save you.

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD. Now with extra cross stitch. at December 28, 2012 03:16 PM (VtjlW)



Tis not, Dear Leader

Posted by: BCochran1981 at December 28, 2012 03:18 PM (IvVLN)

313 I Flesch/Kincaided a number of Obama's speech transcripts a while ago just for kicks.

Every one I checked came out 9th grade level.

Posted by: @PurpAv at December 28, 2012 03:18 PM (TBTjX)

314 WTF...Obama's approval is in the mid 50s? Unreal.>>

This is where editors prove they're worth not in the actual writing.

Posted by: MFM at December 28, 2012 03:18 PM (Y6HTt)

315
300 Good Lord. I hope that illiterate nutcase doesn't own any firearms.

What the hell language was he writing?


Retardese.

You have to find someone who is fluent in it, to translate it for you.

Posted by: wheatie at December 28, 2012 03:19 PM (K4wCe)

316 Come on Mikey!

Bring it.

Posted by: tasker at December 28, 2012 03:19 PM (r2PLg)

317 But... doesn't that make it OUR Language, Mr. Hand?

Posted by: Jeff Spicoli at December 28, 2012 03:20 PM (lZBBB)

318 WTF...Obama's approval is in the mid 50s? Unreal.

Just wait. Jan 1, 2013. The portion of your medical premiums paid by your company will be counted as YOUR income and be taxable. Obamacare just got real.

Posted by: rickb223 at December 28, 2012 03:20 PM (GFM2b)

319 Sean Penn is to writing as Barack Obama is to humility

Posted by: kathysaysso at December 28, 2012 03:20 PM (y5uWA)

320 WTF...Obama's approval is in the mid 50s?

I'm pretty confident he'll finish up in GWB territory.

Posted by: @PurpAv at December 28, 2012 03:20 PM (TBTjX)

321 Tis not, Dear Leader
Posted by: BCochran1981 at December 28, 2012 03:18 PM (IvVLN)



So I see. Well played, well played indeed.


Retardese.

You have to find someone who is fluent in it, to translate it for you.
Posted by: wheatie at December 28, 2012 03:19 PM (K4wCe)



Obligatory - http://youtu.be/yfSnaY1Wp_U

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD. Now with extra cross stitch. at December 28, 2012 03:22 PM (VtjlW)

322 Sean Penn approached language not as a surgeon with a scalpel, rather as a rabid chimp armed with a Super Soaker full of stupid juice.

Posted by: @PurpAv at December 28, 2012 03:22 PM (TBTjX)

323 322
Sean Penn approached language not as a surgeon with a scalpel, rather as
a rabid chimp armed with a Super Soaker full of stupid juice.

And that there sums it up nicely.

Posted by: bacadog at December 28, 2012 03:24 PM (sLH8K)

324 Sean Penn approached language not as a surgeon with a scalpel, rather as a rabid chimp armed with a Super Soaker full of stupid juice.
Posted by: @PurpAv at December 28, 2012 03:22 PM (TBTjX)


That sounds like a suitable first line for his future obituary.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Hobbit at December 28, 2012 03:24 PM (4df7R)

325 I'm considering, after much consideration, changing my nom de plumb to "Sean Hemingway."

Posted by: Sean Penn at December 28, 2012 03:26 PM (/ZZCn)

326 The portion of your medical premiums paid by your company will be counted as YOUR income and be taxable.

What percentage of people who voted for Obama get medical insurance through their employer or their spouse's employer and not from their parents' employer, Medicaid, S-CHIP, etc? 15%?

Posted by: HeatherRadish™ needs a beer at December 28, 2012 03:27 PM (hO8IJ)

327 Nood.

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD. Now with extra cross stitch. at December 28, 2012 03:28 PM (VtjlW)

328 Posted by: extra cross stitch. at December 28, 2012 03:06 PM (VtjlW)

Heh, da boss says we have to wait for a P.O. to start on this warranty return. Jacking it till someone with some braains shows up next year.

Posted by: SpongeBob Saget at December 28, 2012 03:28 PM (epxV4)

329 Here's a pretty funny song from Sean's days as Mrs Madonna-

"Sean Penn Blues" by Lloyd Cole and the Commotions

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LapBgW7TmgI

Posted by: naturalfake at December 28, 2012 03:29 PM (54vf8)

330 Sam he be.

Posted by: Ed Snyder at December 28, 2012 03:30 PM (ErTy7)

331 I had a small bout of stomach flu and exampled in my pants the other day.

Posted by: Sphynx at December 28, 2012 03:32 PM (j2McS)

332
*applause*


Posted by: HeatherRadish™ needs a beer at December 28, 2012 03:17 PM (hO8IJ)

Thank you.
*sprays seltzer water*

Posted by: Dr. Giggly, Dean, Ohio College of Clown Arts at December 28, 2012 03:33 PM (Zd/NW)

333 I would have exampled in the toilet but up to that point I was impacted by eating pizza.

Posted by: Sphynx at December 28, 2012 03:33 PM (j2McS)

334
321...
Obligatory - http://youtu.be/yfSnaY1Wp_U

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD. Now with extra cross stitch. at December 28, 2012 03:22 PM (VtjlW)

-------------

Haa!
Perfect, Atc...on several levels.

Posted by: wheatie at December 28, 2012 03:34 PM (K4wCe)

335 I can hear Tickles voice when I read "his" comments. Slur and everything.

Plus thinking about buying some overalls!

Posted by: nip at December 28, 2012 03:41 PM (11Tdq)

336 Firstly, if I were Penn, I would avoid the subject of involuntary commitment of the mentally ill as much as possible.
.
Secondly, upon observation of this story, several struggling but literate and coherent freelance writers lost the will to live.
.
Thirdly, it's bad enough when a troll shits the rug, I sorely wish people would learn you can't clean it up with firecrackers. If you keep it entertained, it will stay.

Posted by: Merovign, Dark Lord of the Sith's mobile at December 28, 2012 03:43 PM (YZizW)

337 If I saw an article like that on the Huffington Post by anyone other than Sean Penn*, I'd assume they were being punked.

*except for Meghan McCain.

Posted by: AD at December 28, 2012 03:44 PM (dLy9m)

338 Knew him in High School...he was a stoner and a loser. not much has changed.

Posted by: mike at December 28, 2012 03:49 PM (C6f7T)

339 Oh, fuckberries. Someone posted a new thread, didn't they?

Posted by: Merovign, Dark Lord of the Sith's mobile at December 28, 2012 03:53 PM (YZizW)

340

Plus, unlike established author McCain, his bazongas are, like, nonexistent.

Posted by: J. Moses Browning at December 28, 2012 04:09 PM (QrBwK)

341 "huffing liquid ass"
I am laughing.
outloud.

Posted by: mikeyslaw at December 28, 2012 04:09 PM (mHBsU)

342 I guess if Penn can get published, I can too. It was a dark and stormy night....

Posted by: Barbara at December 28, 2012 04:09 PM (XO+CB)

343
Indeed, the actor now also self-identifies as a writer.

See Jane run.

Run Jane run.

Hey, this writing thing is easy!

Posted by: Jay Guevara at December 28, 2012 04:19 PM (4u2LN)

344 I certainly hope that he is the first to be evaluated for mental comepentecy.

Posted by: harleycowboy at December 28, 2012 04:33 PM (+9AX9)

345 "...where he coughs up this furball"

Reminded me of this: http://www.boredville.com/31547/Hello-Kitty-Gets-a-Hairball

Posted by: Blacque Jacques Shellacque at December 28, 2012 04:47 PM (A3ftE)

346 Well at least I have kissed a man.

Posted by: Shon Punn at December 28, 2012 04:50 PM (ZOf1l)

347 And he is RICH and gets too many hot chicks> That is what really hurts the most

Posted by: occam at December 28, 2012 05:35 PM (+Jqqc)

348 Sean wrote lots better when he was marryed to me...His looks are goin too.

Pffft.

Posted by: Madonna at December 28, 2012 07:03 PM (0oXia)

349 Another liberal who thinks using big words in strangled prose makes him smart. Toss in a reference or two to a philosopher, and you have the liberal recipe for becoming an intellectual.

Posted by: Jim Foster at December 28, 2012 07:06 PM (qqamw)

350 Sean Penn's native language is not Retardese, it is Agitprop.

Posted by: The Lightworker at December 28, 2012 07:20 PM (+VZoO)

351 Judging from those excerpts it's like Harry Knowles was ghostwriting for Penn.

Posted by: Robert at December 28, 2012 07:43 PM (LUnTP)

352 87 Writing is the mirror of the mind.

In Penn's case, his looks like a Fun House mirror.


Probably the one he cuts his coke on.

Posted by: Bill H at December 28, 2012 07:52 PM (3sZO1)

353 Sean, read it out loud first. If you'd bitchslap a writer for trying to make you say it in a movie/on stage, you probably shouldn't put it in an essay.

Posted by: Rich Fader at December 29, 2012 12:17 AM (+vyUD)

354 http://bit.ly/UsCsRU

Writing tips for Sean Penn.

Posted by: sTevo at December 29, 2012 09:07 AM (VMcEw)

355 Dammit! That article was so badly wri9tten I got stupider just by viewing it. Thanks alot! asdf!

Posted by: Bad Science at December 29, 2012 07:47 PM (Hf5Qq)






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