Obama Nominates John F'n Kerry To Be Secretary Of State

And the "Global Test" is back!

Obama, making the announcement as Kerry and his wife looked on, praised the senator's "extraordinarily distinguished Senate career" and military service "with valor" in the Vietnam War.

"Over these many years, John's earned the respect and confidence of leaders around the world. He is not going to need a lot of on-the-job-training," Obama said. "I think it is fair to say that few individuals know as many presidents and prime ministers or grasp our foreign policies as firmly as John Kerry, and this makes him a perfect choice to guide American diplomacy in the years ahead."

Kerry has traveled the globe on behalf of the Obama administration to mend frayed relationships. Most notably, he traveled to Pakistan after relations had been set back by a series of incidents, including the raid that killed al Qaeda leader Osama bin Laden.

"John's played a central role in every major foreign policy debate for nearly 30 years," Obama said. "As we turn the page on a decade of war, he understands that we have to harness all elements of American power and ensure that they're working together, diplomatic and development, economic and political, military and intelligence as well as the power of our values which inspires so many people around the world."

4 years of him and Obama is going to mighty tough to listen to.

Deval Patrick will make an interim appointment and then there will be a special election. Will Scott Brown go for it again?

Fun factoid: Kerry's nomination will have to be cleared by the Senate Foreign Relations Committee. The same committee he's chairman of at the moment.

As Chairman of Foreign Relations, Kerry helped sheppard Obama's START II deal with the Russians through the Senate. The treaty was too awful even for....Lindsay Graham.

Flexibility baby!

As you might expect, Kerry is no fan of missile defense. Obama is clearly transmitting information to Vladimir via this appointment.

Posted by: DrewM. at 02:47 PM



Comments

1 gag.

and Hagel? Is this the next insult?

Posted by: ette at December 21, 2012 02:48 PM (nqBYe)

2 Who will the commies in MA nominate? Will he get an up or down vote in the Senate?

Posted by: Vic at December 21, 2012 02:49 PM (53z96)

3 "Over these many years, John's earned the respect and confidence of leaders around the world.





Name one Barry

Posted by: TheQuietMan at December 21, 2012 02:50 PM (1Jaio)

4 Super Rich! 1% ! Out of touch! Romney! Gaakkkk!!!

Posted by: LASue at December 21, 2012 02:50 PM (gjIQF)

5 All we need now is Al gore as climate czar, good times.

Posted by: Spypeach at December 21, 2012 02:51 PM (pwTow)

6 "John's played a central role in every major foreign policy debate for nearly 30 years,"

I guess every debate needs a stooge.

Posted by: LASue at December 21, 2012 02:51 PM (gjIQF)

7 All well and good, but did he serve in Vietnam?

Posted by: Pug Mahon at December 21, 2012 02:51 PM (K+mtQ)

8 Bunch of miserable traitorous bastards. Nothing is a surprise any more. The only thing that changes is my level of disgust.

Posted by: ElKomandante at December 21, 2012 02:51 PM (k9osu)

9 >>>4 years of him and Obama is going to mighty tough to listen to.

Kind of like reruns of a show that you hate but for some reason have seen every episode.*


*(AMIRITE? I have no idea how this happens but it does)

Posted by: MikeTheMoose is Shrugging at December 21, 2012 02:52 PM (0q2P7)

10 The road to the presidencey: John F'n Kerry (Part II)--2016.

Posted by: Soona at December 21, 2012 02:52 PM (fQaiK)

11

He's a legacy! All our votes!

Posted by: The Senate Republicans


Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at December 21, 2012 02:52 PM (kdS6q)

12 Kerry had no substantive comments at the press conference but he did count to 10 by tapping his foot.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at December 21, 2012 02:52 PM (QKKT0)

13 Yesssss....

Posted by: Putin the Shirtless Wonder at December 21, 2012 02:53 PM (0WLla)

14 People, stop worrying about having to endure 4 years of this.

We'll be lucky if we make it 2 years before the wheels come off and the engine catches on fire.

Let it burn.

Posted by: Christina Hendricks's Mighty Jugs Are Now Decorated For Christmas at December 21, 2012 02:53 PM (+AV7H)

15 John's played a central role in every major foreign policy debate for nearly 30 years


On the wrong side, EVERY. DAMN. TIME.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at December 21, 2012 02:54 PM (QKKT0)

16 SMOD, oh wondrous SMOD, why have you forsaken us?

Posted by: shibumi at December 21, 2012 02:54 PM (z63Tr)

17 I thought Democrats hated rich, privileged white male snobs from New England. I guess Barack's spent enough time at the country club that he feels at home with the elites.

Posted by: multitude at December 21, 2012 02:55 PM (bpONz)

18 What is it with TFG's aversion to tax dodgers, and combat dodgers.

Maybe TFG can hint to JK to pay is fuggin boat tax.

Posted by: sTevo at December 21, 2012 02:55 PM (VMcEw)

19 Kerry responded to the President's praise by taking off his watch and throwing it across the room.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at December 21, 2012 02:55 PM (QKKT0)

20 You get to be Sos, John. Why the long face?

Posted by: toby928© for TB at December 21, 2012 02:55 PM (evdj2)

21 Halp us. Jon Carry...for fuck's sake.

Posted by: huerfano at December 21, 2012 02:56 PM (bAGA/)

22
Time to put on my NY Times "serious journalism" hat: "Has embattled senator John Kerry ever released his very controversial military record? Unnamed Democratic senators from his own party are asking why he hasn't released his military record! What is he hiding?? Eleventyyyyy1!!!!1!!!!"

Posted by: Javelina Bomb at December 21, 2012 02:57 PM (Wf+X1)

23 One treasonous fuck hires another treasonous fuck. This is my surprised face.

Posted by: SurferDoc at December 21, 2012 02:57 PM (6H6FZ)

24 Honestly, Kerry could hardly be more feckless than Sir Hillary!

Let it burn.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at December 21, 2012 02:58 PM (QKKT0)

25 So how much money did Teresa put up for this to come about?


Ketchup--it's what's for breakfast.

Posted by: tcn at December 21, 2012 02:58 PM (VLG62)

26 On the wrong side, EVERY. DAMN. TIME.

Batting 1000! EPIC...failure.

Posted by: Paladin at December 21, 2012 02:58 PM (mCOPv)

27 I would like to pole Askley Judd, if you know what I mean...

Posted by: DAve at December 21, 2012 02:58 PM (XDC0v)

28

"John Kerry, reporting for duty!" *fruit salute*

Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at December 21, 2012 02:58 PM (kdS6q)

29 Guess we'll lurch further to the left.

Posted by: State Department at December 21, 2012 02:59 PM (nyG2S)

30 Name one Barry

Kim Jong-Fat?

Posted by: Assorted Endangered Diatoms at December 21, 2012 02:59 PM (ZKzrr)

31 If nothing else, Kerry's judgment on matters of foreign policy has been consistent.


So there's that.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at December 21, 2012 02:59 PM (QKKT0)

32 Democrats hated rich, privileged white male snobs from New England Flyover Country. FIFU

Posted by: Paladin at December 21, 2012 02:59 PM (mCOPv)

33 Yet another old white guy. Why does Obama hate black women?

I am now convinced of what others, including Rush, have been saying, that Obama never meant to actually nominate Susan Rice. She was just a pawn used so Republicans could be accused of racism, sexism (find a way to work homophobia in), and general hate eleventy!!!!11!!

Did he really think that the tool used to spread the regime's lies about Benghazi would be given a pass by the repubs? Of course not.

In actuality, Obama does nothing for minorities (in fact, their plights have become worse since he came into power) but lines the wallets of his old white men cronies with money and power. But rethuglikkkans are evil, or something.

Posted by: chique d'afrique (the artist formerly known as african chick) at December 21, 2012 03:00 PM (6zgse)

34 Obama, whose pre-election foreign policy credentials distill to nothing more than his vocal opposition to Iraq, is nominating a guy who was a gung-ho go-vote, to succeed the gung-ho go-voting Madame 3 AM.

But Iraq! was never really about Iraq, was it?

Posted by: BuddyPC at December 21, 2012 03:00 PM (jfUIE)

35 How can Kerry be in charge of foreign policy when he can't even figure out where his boat is moored? Somebody buy him a set of Carmen Sandiego, quick. Put him on some f'n learnin'.

Posted by: tcn at December 21, 2012 03:00 PM (VLG62)

36 Time to put on my NY Times "serious journalism" hat:
"Has embattled senator John Kerry ever released his very controversial
military record? Unnamed Democratic senators from his own party are
asking why he hasn't released his military record! What is he hiding??
Eleventyyyyy1!!!!1!!!!"

Posted by: Javelina Bomb at December 21, 2012 02:57 PM



Very funny.

Posted by: your betters in the Media at December 21, 2012 03:00 PM (bAGA/)

37 I forgot to add "rich". *Rich* old white men.

Posted by: chique d'afrique (the artist formerly known as african chick) at December 21, 2012 03:01 PM (6zgse)

38

I wonder if John still has the shortwave set North Vietnamese Military Intelligence gave him.....

Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at December 21, 2012 03:01 PM (kdS6q)

39 Name one Barry


Posted by: TheQuietMan at December 21, 2012 02:50 PM (1Jaio)

not sure maybe?Ho Chi Minh?

Posted by: ette at December 21, 2012 03:02 PM (nqBYe)

40 He speaks French, you know.

Posted by: your betters in the Media at December 21, 2012 03:02 PM (bAGA/)

41 33 Yet another old white guy. Why does Obama hate black women?

Yet another RICH old white guy.


ftfy

Posted by: BuddyPC at December 21, 2012 03:02 PM (jfUIE)

42 Did he say he was "Reporting for Doody"?

Posted by: Captain Hate (more dagny and less curious) at December 21, 2012 03:03 PM (ygCDu)

43 One man who embodies everything wrong with a rich, dumb, married into money twice, phoney bastard in a position of power.

Posted by: SurferDoc at December 21, 2012 03:03 PM (6H6FZ)

44 Hey - maybe Jane Fonda's available for SecDef?

Posted by: Rob McNeece at December 21, 2012 03:04 PM (YesJa)

45 In actuality, Obama does nothing for minorities (in
fact, their plights have become worse since he came into power) but
lines the wallets of his old white men cronies with money and power.
But rethuglikkkans are evil, or something.

Posted by: chique d'afrique (the artist formerly known as african chick) at December 21, 2012 03:00 PM (6zgse)


See, here's the deal. I don't expect Obama or anybody else to do much for any minorities except make sure that their rights are not infringed upon. Not those made-up "rights" from affirmative actions programs, but the same rights everyone in this country has--the God given ones enumerated in the Constitution. The fact that some blacks in this country THINK he should be giving them extra this and that is stupid, and that they call those extras "rights" is criminal. But maybe if the press would quick flogging the race card, we could see this for what it is: craven self-promotion by the JEF.

Posted by: tcn at December 21, 2012 03:04 PM (VLG62)

46 Say, did he serve in the Crimean War or something?

Posted by: weft cut-loop at December 21, 2012 03:04 PM (FaqTv)

47 Frankly, he's the least dangerous guy Obama would nominate. He's going to bore the world to death and then bloviate on its remains. Besides, we get the blowhard out of the Senate.

Posted by: SFGoth at December 21, 2012 03:04 PM (dZ756)

48 >> military service "with valor" in the Vietnam War.

Fuck. You.

Posted by: Andy at December 21, 2012 03:05 PM (C/NnJ)

49 imagine who Kerry will hire to help with 'the effort'

Posted by: ette at December 21, 2012 03:05 PM (nqBYe)

50 I'm sick and tired of you wingnut chickenhawks disparaging my military service.

Only those who have stared coolly into the receding shoulder blades of a deadly possible enemy and shot him down without flinching can understand what I went through.

Posted by: John F'n Kerry (D) War Hero at December 21, 2012 03:05 PM (QKKT0)

51 SWAT team at one of the local high schools. One of them lil rascals must want to go home early today

Posted by: DAve at December 21, 2012 03:05 PM (XDC0v)

52 Obama must have really respected Kerry's rich history of military bashing.

Posted by: Lemmiwinks at December 21, 2012 03:05 PM (SkyIE)

53 Will he get an up or down vote in the Senate?


Posted by: Vic at December 21, 2012 02:49 PM


The Senate will confirm Kerry so fast you'd think they were making for the bar to hoist a few (taxpayer supported) drinks. I predict 90-5 (some of 'em won't bother to show up, as usual) or better.

After all, he's a fucking Senator, a Colleague and One of Their Own. Bitch McConnell will praise his "good friend" as if he was talking about Sgt. York.

Jesus, I hate watching my country die.

Posted by: MrScribbler at December 21, 2012 03:06 PM (yKUrR)

54 @43. SurferDoc, John Kerry is a-OK because he cares. Even though he's stinkin' rich, he empathizes with the downtrodden. Sure, he married into money (twice!) and did nothing to obtain his wealth, and his wife, who inherited that wealth, is way richer than Romney. But Romney worked for his money, so he is evil!

/libtard logic

Posted by: chique d'afrique (the artist formerly known as african chick) at December 21, 2012 03:06 PM (6zgse)

55 Jesus, I hate watching my country die.


Posted by: MrScribbler at December 21, 2012 03:06 PM (yKUrR)

You misinterpreted the results. They want to be rid of him just as much as you. This is the Peter Principle in action.

Posted by: tcn at December 21, 2012 03:07 PM (VLG62)

56 The Watch was good

Posted by: El Patron AuthorLMendez, Wishing Everyone Happy Holidays at December 21, 2012 03:07 PM (yAor6)

57 But he still has the hat.

Posted by: Vizzini at December 21, 2012 03:08 PM (O7Q1u)

58 Slightly OT: I subscribe to People magazine. In the issue I got today that dealt with the year in reflection, Obama had a warm and fuzzy interview about being re-elected, the RNC convention was mocked as the Republican National Variety Show (because of the Eastwood skit), and Honey Boo Boo was praised for getting higher ratings than the entire RNC (no mention of the DNC, of course). Our side needs to invest money in women's magazines. If I wasn't a Republican already, I would think we suck. Buy magazines!!!

Posted by: jmel at December 21, 2012 03:09 PM (OLmL9)

59
the sickening part of this is that he will be confirmed with ZERO opposition or scrutiny


Posted by: soothsayer in a barrel going over the cliff at December 21, 2012 03:09 PM (ptD6d)

60 Sheppard?

Posted by: Leo Ladenson at December 21, 2012 03:09 PM (mAm+G)

61 the power of our values

I thought they were all being fundamentally transformed.

Posted by: rickl at December 21, 2012 03:10 PM (zoehZ)

62 @tcn, exactly. I find tribalism abhorrent.

My point was that they expected him to give them special favors but he completely ignored them, and they are now worse off. He just used them like TP, but they went running back to him. Which is why I say that they will never progress. (Not every single minority, but the tribal communities.)

Romney outline plans that would improve the lot of the majority of people regardless of income, skin color, sexual orientation, fetishes, or whatever else people want to group themselves by. But that didn't matter. They voted for the tribe. That is one reason Africa is so messed up.

Posted by: chique d'afrique (the artist formerly known as african chick) at December 21, 2012 03:10 PM (6zgse)

63 JFinK...and to think some people believe we've got the smartest people in the universe in charge of the United States now...

Posted by: Max Wedge at December 21, 2012 03:10 PM (DPXnL)

64 Why would anyone vote for Scott Brown again?

If you want to vote for a commie, why not go for broke? Seems MA voters did just that last election.

Posted by: Invictus at December 21, 2012 03:10 PM (OQpzc)

65
Democrats, no matter who the nominee is, will always oppose them and always say that the nomination of X is cause for concern for some bullshit reasons.

But not Republicans.

Posted by: soothsayer in a barrel going over the cliff at December 21, 2012 03:11 PM (ptD6d)

66
The tax cheat's back, I see... I wonder if anyone in the media is going to point out that the administration tried to put him into a position four years ago, but backed out when it came to light that he'd cheated on his taxes.

I'm starting to wonder, is cheating on your taxes a requirement for a position in this administration?

Posted by: junior at December 21, 2012 03:11 PM (UWFpX)

67 62 Exactly. Obama won was understood to be WE won.

Posted by: DAve at December 21, 2012 03:11 PM (XDC0v)

68 You misinterpreted the results. They want to be rid of him just as much as you. This is the Peter Principle in action.


Posted by: tcn at December 21, 2012 03:07 PM


You must be new to this "politics" shit. Senatorial blood and brotherhood are thicker than water. And thicker than patriotism.

Kerry is "one of them." They protect and promote each other, cover up for their "colleagues'" drunkenness, small fuckups, misdemeanors and felonies.

Posted by: MrScribbler at December 21, 2012 03:12 PM (yKUrR)

69 Winter Solstice Soldier.

"In a manner reminiscent of Jengis Khan ... "

lulz

Posted by: nobama2012 at December 21, 2012 03:12 PM (dr6XJ)

70 Cheating on you taxes is not required in this administration, but it will give you the edge on getting the job.

Posted by: Vizzini at December 21, 2012 03:12 PM (O7Q1u)

71 66 I believe so. I think this admin has the goods to use as a lever on everyone in power. Would explain alot-

Posted by: DAve at December 21, 2012 03:13 PM (XDC0v)

72 I know, sooth, but really, he may be the best person that can be nominated at this time. Remember, this is Obama. We're lucky he didn't nominate someone like Billy Ayers.

Whatever. It will burn. Winter is coming, so get close to the flames and stay cozy.

Posted by: chique d'afrique (the artist formerly known as african chick) at December 21, 2012 03:14 PM (6zgse)

73 I proper Let it Burn strategy is to vote for people who are so fucked they scare the shit out of limousine liberals.

Let the rich reap what they sowed.

Posted by: Invictus at December 21, 2012 03:14 PM (OQpzc)

74 That is one reason Africa is so messed up.





Posted by: chique d'afrique (the artist formerly known as african chick) at December 21, 2012 03:10 PM (6zgse)

Africa has been sunk by several factors, not the least of which was colonialism that ignored tribal factions. At no time have the majority of Africans been given any reason to improve their overall situation--creation of a constitutional republic is the privilege of those who be sure they will be eating tomorrow, which much of Africa is not. On the other hand, most Africans I have met are serious about hard work and consummate reward, so that impulse actually exists.

I grew up in Alaska, where the problems of the natives are similar while not being exactly the same. Most of the villages have members who work hard for very little reward, and members who expect whitey to give them everything from schools to twinkies.

I understand the impulse to dance with the one who brung ya, but I do not understand dancing with the one who brung ya to the edge of the cliff and then gave you a shove. That is how I see the "black" vote going for Obama. How is it that they cannot see it as well?

Posted by: tcn at December 21, 2012 03:16 PM (VLG62)

75
Senate Republicans trying to think:

Should we use the confirmation hearings to advance our agenda and ding up Obama and the Democrats, or should we just Kerry a free pass?

Senate Republicans in unison: Free pass!

Posted by: soothsayer in a barrel going over the cliff at December 21, 2012 03:16 PM (ptD6d)

76 We have a tax cheat as the Secretary of the Treasury, people.

Posted by: chique d'afrique (the artist formerly known as african chick) at December 21, 2012 03:16 PM (6zgse)

77 Kerry has traveled the globe on behalf of the Obama administration to
mend frayed relationships. Most notably, he traveled to Pakistan after
relations had been set back by a series of incidents, including the raid
that killed al Qaeda leader Osama bin Laden.------------------------------------------


He has done so well! They love us now!

don't think hard about this.


Posted by: ette at December 21, 2012 03:16 PM (nqBYe)

78 Swiftboaters reporting for duty?

Posted by: CraigPoe at December 21, 2012 03:18 PM (BVkEs)

79 President Pantload strikes again.

Posted by: tcn at December 21, 2012 03:18 PM (VLG62)

80 tcn, I am not African-American, but I've come to the conclusion that they have been indoctrinated that voting for a republican is akin to a Jew voting for Hitler. So no matter how crappy the Dems may have made their lives, they are still better than the GOP.

There is no other way I can make sense of this.

Posted by: chique d'afrique (the artist formerly known as african chick) at December 21, 2012 03:19 PM (6zgse)

81 Kerry has traveled the globe on behalf of the Obama administration


finally we have peace and love and especially arms into plowshares for the world.

Posted by: ette at December 21, 2012 03:19 PM (nqBYe)

82 Maybe Obama was high at the time, but I recall when Kerry ran for President, one of his biggest problems was that he DID NOT HAVE AN "extraordinarily distinguished Senate career."

I don't recall hearing anything since that would have changed that.

Words. We use 'em, but not for communication...

Posted by: BurtTC at December 21, 2012 03:19 PM (TOk1P)

83
Kerry will be an awful Sec of State, even worse than Hillary Clinton.

Why?

Because he's lazy and he, like Hillary and Obama, have no idea how to be an administrator of a large department.

But Kerry's downfall at State will be because he's lazy. He'll quit after one year. Kerry likes to travel, vote occasionally, and hob-nob, he doesn't like to actually work.


Posted by: soothsayer in a barrel going over the cliff at December 21, 2012 03:20 PM (ptD6d)

84 Treasonous bastards, the lot of 'em.

Posted by: Blanco Basura at December 21, 2012 03:21 PM (4WhSY)

85 Sorry, chique, did not mean to say that you were African American. I do know the difference. I have a good friend from Cameroon who would say that the term African American was a nonsequiteur. She can't explain to me why blacks vote the way they do, either, but then she's a Catholic, so pro-life is more important than much of anything else.

Posted by: tcn at December 21, 2012 03:21 PM (VLG62)

86 Think we'll hear that Prezzy Choom is a sexist for giving a womyn's job to a white man? Me either

Posted by: TheQuietMan at December 21, 2012 03:21 PM (1Jaio)

87 @83, I wonder how many other diplomats will be killed or injured on his watch. I pray the answer is zero.

Posted by: chique d'afrique (the artist formerly known as african chick) at December 21, 2012 03:21 PM (6zgse)

88 But will he find his medals?

Posted by: Truman North (D) at December 21, 2012 03:21 PM (I2LwF)

89
Kerry goes to Davros, Switzerland to pretend he's actually there on business, but he goes there to ski and be "seen."

Kerry is 69 years old, and he is a lazy erudite. Very very lazy.

One year, if that, and he's done.

Posted by: soothsayer in a barrel going over the cliff at December 21, 2012 03:22 PM (ptD6d)

90 Have heard that Kerry actually advised N. Viet negotiators in Paris while still a sworn U.S. Naval Reserve officer. Can someone with effective (mine are severely affective) on-line search skills find and link proof or denial of this?

Posted by: Old Bob at December 21, 2012 03:22 PM (TgZ6X)

91 tcn, I didn't think you thought I was. My point was that I couldn't presume to speak for them since I am not one.

Posted by: chique d'afrique (the artist formerly known as african chick) at December 21, 2012 03:22 PM (6zgse)

92 > I wonder how many other diplomats will be killed or injured on his watch.


don't worry- it won't be Kerry's fault

Posted by: Jones in CO at December 21, 2012 03:22 PM (8sCoq)

93 50
I'm sick and tired of you wingnut chickenhawks disparaging my military service.

Only
those who have stared coolly into the receding shoulder blades of a
deadly possible enemy and shot him down without flinching can understand
what I went through.


Posted by: John F'n Kerry (D) War Hero at December 21, 2012 03:05 PM (QKKT0)John F'n Kerry was my Saigon Princess


Posted by: Jung Fung Dung at December 21, 2012 03:23 PM (0oXia)

94 McCain, the guy who thinks it is bitchin to lock up Americans indefinitely, is BFF with Kerry.

Demint thinks Harry Reid is a righteous dude.

They are all frauds. I'm voting for whoever brings home the most money.

Pork Party 2014. Because, fuck you, pay me.

Posted by: Invictus at December 21, 2012 03:24 PM (OQpzc)

95 @90, Howie Carr just mentioned it on his show. (He's based in Boston.)

Posted by: chique d'afrique (the artist formerly known as african chick) at December 21, 2012 03:25 PM (6zgse)

96 What? Sandy Fluck is busy for the next 4 years. I mean if we're going to get fucked by other countries we should at least provide them with someone who is used to taking it around the clock

Posted by: TheQuietMan at December 21, 2012 03:26 PM (1Jaio)

97 But Kerry's downfall at State will be because he's lazy. He'll quit after one year. Kerry likes to travel, vote occasionally, and hob-nob, he doesn't like to actually work.

One could argue that's a feature, not a bug. Kind of a LIB-Foreign Policy Edition.

Posted by: Colorado Alex at December 21, 2012 03:26 PM (3x3F6)

98 Our government is a farce


how does a guy who manufactured Purple Heart citations, and accused his fellow soldiers of war crimes, get to be a US Senator and SecDef nominee?


he should have been hiding in shame all these years

Posted by: Jones in CO at December 21, 2012 03:27 PM (8sCoq)

99 I'm salvaging some good news for myself today. From now until June we'll start getting more daylight. As a night worker, I cherish more daylight.

Posted by: Soona at December 21, 2012 03:27 PM (fQaiK)

100 If John Kerry is Theresa Heinz Kerry's "trophy husband" I'd hate to see the runner up

Posted by: Stacy0311 at December 21, 2012 03:28 PM (nCRP2)

101 @98. We're talking about Democrats here. No such thing as shame.

Posted by: chique d'afrique (the artist formerly known as african chick) at December 21, 2012 03:28 PM (6zgse)

102
If the Swift Boat Vets can crank up the fundraising machinery, I believe we can raise enough for a fairly serious carpet bombing of the media.

Kerry will most likely be confirmed, but we can insure that whatever is left of reputation is destroyed. This is a mission to bring the story of John Kerry to the masses, exposing him as the slimy coward he is.

Let's make sure Teresa insists on separate cars from now on.

Posted by: jwest at December 21, 2012 03:29 PM (ZDsRL)

103 As a night worker, I cherish more daylight.

You're not an Olympic athlete by any chance?

Posted by: Vizzini at December 21, 2012 03:29 PM (O7Q1u)

104
it's our fault, partly, for stopping to shame people when they do shameful things


Posted by: soothsayer in a barrel going over the cliff at December 21, 2012 03:29 PM (ptD6d)

105 Played a major role in every foreign policy debate in the last 30 years.

YA ON THE WRONG FU%KING side of said debate.

Posted by: bobbymike at December 21, 2012 03:30 PM (wJSZn)

106 Seriously, there is not enough alcohol and pepto-bismol to get me through the next 4 years...

...what's the over/under on ANY senator voting against this schmuck? 5?...maybe?

They're so, so collegial !

Posted by: Whiskey_Joe at December 21, 2012 03:30 PM (RIm0W)

107 Hey, at least Kerry has a better throwing arm than Obama. Obama pitches like a girl. Kerry got his medals clean over that fence without a bounce.

Posted by: Wooga at December 21, 2012 03:31 PM (dFUso)

108 Secretary HorseFace

Posted by: truff at December 21, 2012 03:31 PM (2cfUo)

109 the sickening part of this is that he will be confirmed with ZERO opposition or scrutiny

Of course. If you were one of his colleagues, would you miss the chance to get him out of the Senate?

Posted by: toby928© for TB at December 21, 2012 03:31 PM (evdj2)

110 I can't believe I'm typing this......but our pal Rasmussen has Brown leading several Dem opponents in a special election poll.

It probably doesn't matter, the state will probably change their law back to permanent appointment by the governor.

Posted by: Damn Sockpuppet at December 21, 2012 03:31 PM (cgXSq)

111 But Kerry's downfall at State will be because he's lazy. He'll quit after one year. Kerry likes to travel, vote occasionally, and hob-nob, he doesn't like to actually work.
Posted by: soothsayer in a barrel going over the cliff at December 21, 2012 03:20 PM (ptD6d)


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Same could be said about Hillary. Exactly what did she really accomplish for the US? This is just a continuation of the last four years.

Posted by: Soona at December 21, 2012 03:32 PM (fQaiK)

112 I don't like things that aren't great.

Posted by: Jones in CO at December 21, 2012 03:32 PM (8sCoq)

113 100 If John Kerry is Theresa Heinz Kerry's "trophy husband" I'd hate to see the runner up

Yeah, what a horse face!

Posted by: Sarah Jessica Parker at December 21, 2012 03:33 PM (dFUso)

114 Will Kerry use his private yacht to receive foreign diplomats??

Posted by: dantesed at December 21, 2012 03:33 PM (GmsM/)

115
Kerry will have a great legacy at State.

It will be under his watch that Iran builds the bomb and probably test-detonates at least one.

It will be under his watch that North Korea finally does send a nuke to Seoul.

It will be under Kerry's watch that full-blown war in the middle east breaks out, started by the Muslim Brotherhood.

All of Obama's and Hillary Clinton's foreign chickens are coming home to roost.

Posted by: soothsayer in a barrel going over the cliff at December 21, 2012 03:34 PM (ptD6d)

116
I predict 90-5
Posted by: MrScribbler





The vote on Hillary was 94-2, and one of the nays was De Mint.

Kerry levels up, 96-0.

Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at December 21, 2012 03:34 PM (kdS6q)

117 Chique @95 - thanx. What I need and can't find is something more than 'I heard/was told that ... ". Hoping someone here can direct me to such. Photos? Memoirs? Contemporary reports?

Posted by: Old Bob at December 21, 2012 03:34 PM (TgZ6X)

118 Fun factoid: Kerry's nomination will have to be cleared by the Senate Foreign Relations Committee. The same committee he's chairman of at the moment.


Incest humping nepo.

Posted by: camel's pleasing themselves at December 21, 2012 03:35 PM (LpQbZ)

119 I'll vote neigh... er, nay.

Posted by: some stalwart Repub Senator at December 21, 2012 03:35 PM (nyG2S)

120 LOL... the voters of Massachussetts can all choke to death on a bag o' dicks. They're not going to elect Scott Brown.
Brown's not much use to the GOP or conservatism either, so I really don't care. If the majority of that rotten state feels that Elizabeth Warren is fit for the US Senate, then the whole state can fall into the bay as far as I'm concerned.
I think Kerry's Vietnam fraud should be rehashed again, for the simple nihilistic pleasure of doing so.
God this place sucks.

Posted by: Sam In VA at December 21, 2012 03:36 PM (rFiOs)

121


Hillary's legacy ends with a migraine concussion.

Posted by: sounds about right at December 21, 2012 03:36 PM (LpQbZ)

122 Speaking of...

Prof. Jacobson:

"The GOP is like a public school that rewards students with social promotions. Just as scads of high school grads can’t read and compute at grade level, senior Republican candidates and office holders can neither read the national tea leaves nor compute winning strategies."

Posted by: weft cut-loop at December 21, 2012 03:37 PM (FaqTv)

123 90 Have heard that Kerry actually advised N. Viet negotiators in Paris while still a sworn U.S. Naval Reserve officer. Can someone with effective (mine are severely affective) on-line search skills find and link proof or denial of this?

Posted by: Old Bob at December 21, 2012 03:22 PM (TgZ6X)


Swift Boat Vets site is still up, but "inactive": http://tinyurl.com/c8g2wys

This sub-page might get you started: http://tinyurl.com/d26nbcw

They seem to have sent the "comment" section down the memory hole. That's where most of the good evidence was.

Posted by: jwb7605 (Let It Burn) at December 21, 2012 03:37 PM (Qxe/p)

124
I'd be quite pleased if Scott Brown ran and won. It would put one senator closer to ousting Harry Reid in 2014.

* if Scott Brown wins again in 2014, that is.


Posted by: soothsayer in a barrel going over the cliff at December 21, 2012 03:38 PM (ptD6d)

125 >>>Hillary's legacy ends with a migraine concussion.

I told her to go put some ice on it.

Posted by: The Clenis at December 21, 2012 03:38 PM (nyG2S)

126 the twitter feed for #NRA is just a cornucopia of liberal reactionary non sequitur stupid


I can't even comprehend the train of thought that would produce what I'm seeing posted there


I weep for my Nation

Posted by: Jones in CO at December 21, 2012 03:38 PM (8sCoq)

127 John Fucking Kerry. The guy who lied about his service. Who threw away (fake, right?) medals. Who described his brothers in arms as murderers. Who blew himself up. (IIRC)


That John Kerry?



Fuck both him and TFG with Moochelle's dick.

Posted by: BCochran1981 at December 21, 2012 03:39 PM (da5Wo)

128 Not to worry. Kerry was for it before he was against it, or maybe he was against it before he was for it. He forgets, but understands what Dylan meant whe he said the answer was blowin' in the wind.

Posted by: georgeofthedesert at December 21, 2012 03:39 PM (Eq2MX)

129 I support any program that brings fed dollars to Texas. I no longer give a shit if the USA goes bankrupt. In fact, I support it.

Texas, uber alles, bitches.

Catch the wave, or drown. I don't give a fuck about anything that does not advance Texas.

Posted by: Invictus at December 21, 2012 03:40 PM (OQpzc)

130 I am glad we have TOP.MEN working at the highest levels of government and that in the USA elections don't have consequences:
Barky Commie Obama as pResident;
John The Warrior Kerry as Sec State;
Joe ADHD Biden as a heartbeat away from the presidency;
Eric Red Holder as AG at DoJ;
Chuck Anti-Semite Hagel as Sec Def;
Mitch McConnell as well-deserved minority Senate leader;
John Tanning Booth Boehner as House Majority Back Room Deal Maker, and
scores of unaccountable unelected, but appropriately named, czars.

What could possibly go wrong!

Posted by: Hrothgar - LIB or SMOD (for the Children) at December 21, 2012 03:40 PM (Cnqmv)

131 The nation must pass a global pest.

Posted by: John Kerry, Global Intestinal Worm at December 21, 2012 03:41 PM (w41GQ)

132 He'll probably get in. But I would love to see the Swift Boat Vets get another shot at him.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at December 21, 2012 03:41 PM (XkWWK)

133 O/T. I just love how every half-hour or so, the SCOAMF desecrates my internet radio listening with an ad telling me how it is *my* responsibility to see that everyone in my community finishes high school.

Call me after you've harangued their parents. On second thought, don't call me.

Posted by: chique d'afrique (the artist formerly known as african chick) at December 21, 2012 03:41 PM (6zgse)

134 Plop. Men.

Posted by: John Kerry, Global Intestinal Worm at December 21, 2012 03:41 PM (w41GQ)

135 Prof. Jacobson:


hmmm, another calendar candidate

Posted by: bloggers gone wild! at December 21, 2012 03:42 PM (LpQbZ)

136 Great! I love Iowahawk's John Kerry stuff.

Posted by: Dave M at December 21, 2012 03:42 PM (5s32q)

137 Cthulhu rises.

Posted by: SpongeBob Saget's square dildo at December 21, 2012 03:42 PM (97nMP)

138 The last major decision John Kerry made was to pick John Edwards to be one heart beat away from the presidency.


(seen on twitter)

Posted by: Jones in CO at December 21, 2012 03:42 PM (8sCoq)

139 New name for Lurch (maybe it's old?)

Jenjis Kerry.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at December 21, 2012 03:43 PM (XkWWK)

140
Atleast this time JEF nominated a thoroughbred.



Horse faced cock gobbler

Posted by: truff at December 21, 2012 03:43 PM (2cfUo)

141 I weep wept for my Nation


Posted by: Jones in CO at December 21, 2012 03:38 PM (8sCoq)

I think past tense is appropriate here since I am no longer sure we have a nation as we once understood it.

Posted by: Hrothgar - LIB or SMOD (for the Children) at December 21, 2012 03:43 PM (Cnqmv)

142

In one speech, JEF whitewashes Kerry's record.

Posted by: I hope that didn't sound too racist... at December 21, 2012 03:43 PM (LpQbZ)

143 Drew, your commentary is incorrect.

Obama's treaty that John Kerry worked with is 'New START'

START II was actually a somewhat stillborn treaty signed by GHWB that delt with deMIRVing each sides strategic missile forces, but never got put into effect.

Posted by: Uriah Heep at December 21, 2012 03:44 PM (jhI6f)

144 Elections have consequences and the American people showed what they thought of the Republican Party's nominees.

Posted by: Conservatives want our children murdered at December 21, 2012 03:44 PM (HL0e9)

145 >I think past tense is appropriate here since I am no longer sure we have a nation as we once understood it.


Posted by: Hrothgar - LIB or SMOD (for the Children) at December 21, 2012 03:43 PM (Cnqmv)

it bears no resemblance to the country I grew up in 1958-1976

Posted by: Jones in CO at December 21, 2012 03:45 PM (8sCoq)

146 You know, I find it hard to care these days. The Takers voted to cut America's throat. The Media pushed their Messiah and got him back into office. I can't get angry that John Kerry will be SoS.

America is dead. I can't get outraged that they're stealing the shoes, too. America isn't going to need those shoes anymore.

Posted by: BeckoningChasm at December 21, 2012 03:45 PM (DuH+r)

147 During the campaign he openly admitted advising the North Vietnamese and selling out his country. Bing finds it easily.

Posted by: Vic at December 21, 2012 03:45 PM (53z96)

148 I like pie.

Posted by: alexthechick - Told you we weren't worthy of SMOD at December 21, 2012 03:46 PM (VtjlW)

149 >Posted by: Conservatives want our children murdered at December 21, 2012 03:44 PM (HL0e9)


Every thread needs a dick. You're it.

Posted by: Jones in CO at December 21, 2012 03:48 PM (8sCoq)

150 There's pie?

Posted by: Vizzini at December 21, 2012 03:48 PM (O7Q1u)

151 During the campaign he openly admitted advising the North Vietnamese and selling out his country. Bing finds it easily.
Posted by: Vic at December 21, 2012 03:45 PM (53z96)---- He was and is a fucking traitor, so he is perfect for this administration

Posted by: Velvet Ambition at December 21, 2012 03:49 PM (R8hU8)

152
148
I like pie.

Posted by: alexthechick - Told you we weren't worthy of SMOD at December 21, 2012 03:46 PM (VtjlW)


I've heard that about you. What flavor you like best?

Posted by: BCochran1981 at December 21, 2012 03:50 PM (da5Wo)

153
don't worry, the Republicans will bring that up during the confirmation hearings.


hahahahahahhahaahhahahaha!

Posted by: soothsayer in a barrel going over the cliff at December 21, 2012 03:50 PM (ptD6d)

154

Whitey, straight male and 1%er.



Posted by: Isn't this all wrong? at December 21, 2012 03:50 PM (LpQbZ)

155 152 I've heard that about you. What flavor you like best?
Posted by: BCochran1981 at December 21, 2012 03:50 PM (da5Wo)

Fur.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at December 21, 2012 03:51 PM (XkWWK)

156 During the campaign he openly admitted advising the North Vietnamese and selling out his country. Bing finds it easily.
Posted
by: Vic at December 21, 2012 03:45 PM (53z96)---- He was and is a
fucking traitor, so he is perfect for this administration

Posted by: Velvet Ambition at December 21, 2012 03:49 PM (R8hU



I'm surprised that Barry didn't nominate Jane Fonda. She went to Vietnam too

Posted by: TheQuietMan at December 21, 2012 03:51 PM (1Jaio)

157 I've heard that about you. What flavor you like best?
Posted by: BCochran1981 at December 21, 2012 03:50 PM (da5Wo)



Chocolate.


Posted by: alexthechick - Told you we weren't worthy of SMOD at December 21, 2012 03:52 PM (VtjlW)

158 Presidential pardon to Tokyo Rose in 5...4...3...2...

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at December 21, 2012 03:52 PM (XkWWK)

159 Look on the bright side. He's tall, he's handsome, and he doesn't look like Lucius Malfoy.

Posted by: Cricket at December 21, 2012 03:52 PM (DrC22)

160 148
I like pie.

Posted by: alexthechick - Told you we weren't worthy of SMOD at December 21, 2012 03:46 PM (VtjlW)

If you hurry, you might get the last slice of blueberry in the kitchen..... ooops, too late. The boy snarfed it.

Posted by: tcn at December 21, 2012 03:53 PM (VLG62)

161 150 There's pie?
Posted by: Vizzini at December 21, 2012 03:48 PM (O7Q1u)


Only for 3.142857% of the time.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at December 21, 2012 03:53 PM (XkWWK)

162 OT, but the Samsung LN40E550 40-Inch 1080p 60Hz LCD HDTV I paid about $1100 for a few years ago now costs under $400

fuuuuuuuhhhh...

Posted by: Jones in CO at December 21, 2012 03:54 PM (8sCoq)

163 152 I've heard that about you. What flavor you like best?
Posted by: BCochran1981 at December 21, 2012 03:50 PM (da5Wo)

Fur.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at December 21, 2012 03:51 PM (XkWWK)



I am ashamed of you Horde. Truly, deeply and horribly ashamed of each and every one of you. Ashamed and appalled and horrified.

It took a whole seven comments to go there? Really? Tsk tsk tsk. You're slipping, Horde.

Posted by: alexthechick - Told you we weren't worthy of SMOD at December 21, 2012 03:54 PM (VtjlW)

164
Presidential pardon to Tokyo Rose in 5...4...3...2...

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at December 21, 2012 03:52 PM (XkWWK)

Too late Ford already pardoned her.

Posted by: Vic at December 21, 2012 03:54 PM (53z96)

165
And now I must enjoy my Holiday break. I’ll see if I can posts during
it but overall i’ll be pretty silent the next 2 weeks. So just in case,
I just want to say Merry Christmas!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QtMnAfoSv6E

Posted by: El Patron AuthorLMendez, Wishing Everyone Happy Holidays at December 21, 2012 03:55 PM (yAor6)

166 I think past tense is appropriate here since I am no longer sure we have a nation as we once understood it.
Posted by: Hrothgar - LIB or SMOD (for the Children) at December 21, 2012 03:43 PM (Cnqmv)


-----------------------------------------------


I agree. I wasn't just talking shit or wailing over an election loss on the evening of Nov 6th. We lost the nation that night.

Posted by: Soona at December 21, 2012 03:55 PM (fQaiK)

167 Just found out it's time for a coworker's birthday cake! Suck it, losers!

brb

Posted by: Vizzini at December 21, 2012 03:56 PM (O7Q1u)

168
Merry Christmas, AuthorLMendez.


Posted by: soothsayer in a barrel going over the cliff at December 21, 2012 03:57 PM (ptD6d)

169 AHA! Reply #2 for
123 90 Have heard that Kerry actually advised N. Viet negotiators in Paris while still a sworn U.S. Naval Reserve officer. Can someone with effective (mine are severely affective) on-line search skills find and link proof or denial of this?

Posted by: Old Bob at December 21, 2012 03:22 PM (TgZ6X)


On the Swift Boat site is a topic: Bombshell: Kerry met with terrorists
http://tinyurl.com/cy7ff4d

I think you need to be registered there to see it.
I "dropped off" right after Kerry lost the election.
"jwb7605" and old password still worked, though, if there are others that were members and want to dig around.

Posted by: jwb7605 (Let It Burn) at December 21, 2012 03:57 PM (Qxe/p)

170 why am I watching this sappy Hallmark Christmas movie?

Posted by: Jones in CO at December 21, 2012 03:58 PM (8sCoq)

171 No capes!


http://youtu.be/M68ndaZSKa8



This is an always relevant point.

Posted by: alexthechick - Told you we weren't worthy of SMOD at December 21, 2012 04:00 PM (VtjlW)

172 was he really in Cambodia raping little boys? hairy reed would be so proud if it were true!

Posted by: Killerdog at December 21, 2012 04:01 PM (TCVO1)

173
Am I to understand that none of you have seen this season's Doctor Who's because they haven't aired yet over here?

1. haha, suckas

2. you ain't missing much -- all 5 episodes are the same old shit: Either Amy, Rory, or the Doctor dies, they cry, and then at the end nobody is dead!

Posted by: soothsayer in a barrel going over the cliff at December 21, 2012 04:02 PM (ptD6d)

174 There's a new Holyweird flick coming out timed with John (I Served Ketchup in Vietnam) Kerry's nomination it's called:

Zero Times Thirty

Posted by: ontherocks at December 21, 2012 04:02 PM (aZ6ew)

175 why am I watching this sappy Hallmark Christmas movie?

I'm watching some asian chick with an English accent talk about equivalence relations.

Posted by: Colorado Alex at December 21, 2012 04:03 PM (3x3F6)

176 Obama Nominates John F'n Kerry To Be Secretary Of State

As the Mayans predicted.

Posted by: toby928© for TB at December 21, 2012 04:03 PM (evdj2)

177 crap

Posted by: toby928© for TB at December 21, 2012 04:03 PM (evdj2)

178 Congrats on the barrel avoidance toby.

Posted by: alexthechick - Told you we weren't worthy of SMOD at December 21, 2012 04:04 PM (VtjlW)

179 2. you ain't missing much -- all 5 episodes are the same old shit:
Either Amy, Rory, or the Doctor dies, they cry, and then at the end
nobody is dead!


Huh? That was this past season, which came and went months ago. Next season has a new companion. One who got naked in Californication.

Posted by: Hollowpoint at December 21, 2012 04:04 PM (SY2Kh)

180 164 Too late Ford already pardoned her.
Posted by: Vic at December 21, 2012 03:54 PM (53z96)

Wow. Totally forgot that. Maybe the Brits will let him pardon Lord Haw-Haw because he gave back Churchill's bust.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at December 21, 2012 04:05 PM (XkWWK)

181 I'm old, but I still have the moves.

Posted by: toby928© for TB at December 21, 2012 04:06 PM (evdj2)

182 John Kerry said that he had personally raped, cut off ears, cut off heads, taped wires from
portable telephones to human genitals and turned up the power, cut off
limbs, blown up bodies, randomly shot at civilians, razed villages in
fashion reminiscent of Ghengis Khan, shot cattle and dogs for fun,
poisoned food stocks, and generally ravaged the countryside of South
Vietnam.

And that was on his first day.

Posted by: CraigPoe at December 21, 2012 04:06 PM (BVkEs)

183 One who got naked in Californication.
Posted by: Hollowpoint at December 21, 2012 04:04 PM (SY2Kh)



Wait David Duchovny is a Companion now? I'm so confused.

Posted by: alexthechick - Told you we weren't worthy of SMOD at December 21, 2012 04:06 PM (VtjlW)

184 163 Posted by: alexthechick - Told you we weren't worthy of SMOD at December 21, 2012 03:54 PM (VtjlW)


Hey I was on it like a beard(ed clam).

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at December 21, 2012 04:06 PM (XkWWK)

185 Californication? Fuck, why can't I think up stuff like that!

Posted by: Killerdog at December 21, 2012 04:07 PM (TCVO1)

186 Alright morons. I'm starting my roadtrip of indeterminate internet. Everyone have a Merry Christmas.

Posted by: toby928© for TB at December 21, 2012 04:07 PM (evdj2)

187 It will be interesting over the next couple of years to see how our allies handle the realization that we ain't gonna do jack shit about fuckall.

You stupid bastards are on your own.

Posted by: eleven at December 21, 2012 04:07 PM (fsLdt)

188 Didn't Kerry pen a number of letters to the Palis over the past decade?

Posted by: garrett at December 21, 2012 04:08 PM (ylHp2)

189 a comment got through?

It's a Festivus Miracle!

Posted by: garrett at December 21, 2012 04:09 PM (ylHp2)

190 187 It will be interesting over the next couple of years to see how our allies handle the realization that we ain't gonna do jack shit about fuckall.

You stupid bastards are on your own.
Posted by: eleven at December 21, 2012 04:07 PM (fsLdt)

General and/or nuclear war. Israel and Taiwan/Korea.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at December 21, 2012 04:09 PM (XkWWK)

191 Merry Christmas Toby.

Soon.........

Posted by: The Barrel at December 21, 2012 04:09 PM (fsLdt)

192 189 a comment got through?

It's a Festivus Miracle!
Posted by: garrett at December 21, 2012 04:09 PM (ylHp2)

What's the problem? We're not live-blogging a debate or anything.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at December 21, 2012 04:10 PM (XkWWK)

193 General and/or nuclear war. Israel and Taiwan/Korea.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at December 21, 2012 04:09 PM (XkWWK)



Nahh, it'll be Israel/Iran and India/Pakistan. Order can be flipped on that as well.

Posted by: alexthechick - Told you we weren't worthy of SMOD at December 21, 2012 04:10 PM (VtjlW)

194 was he really in Cambodia raping little boys? hairy reed would be so proud if it were true!

Posted by: Killerdog at December 21, 2012 04:01 PM (TCVO1)



He was whoring himself out to the VC North Vietnam but that's public knowledge

Posted by: TheQuietMan at December 21, 2012 04:10 PM (1Jaio)

195 Sheppard?

Alan, perhaps.

Drew, you meant 'shepherd"...

Posted by: Additional Blond Agent at December 21, 2012 04:11 PM (PMGbu)

196 Nice. A man that hates America nominates another person that hates America to a position of representation.

Makes sense to me.

Posted by: © Sponge at December 21, 2012 04:11 PM (UK9cE)

197
Merry Christmas, toby.

maybe next year you can join the rest of civilization and buy a smartphone with internet

Posted by: soothsayer in a barrel going over the cliff at December 21, 2012 04:11 PM (ptD6d)

198 193 Posted by: alexthechick - Told you we weren't worthy of SMOD at December 21, 2012 04:10 PM (VtjlW)

India/Pakistan is definitely a hot spot, but I didn't think it would boil over faster than the other two. Then again, if shit happens like it did in Mumbai or Kashmir then it might go to the top of the hit parade.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at December 21, 2012 04:12 PM (XkWWK)

199 ya know John F'ing Karry's wife might not let him be 'Obarkys sucker of state.

Posted by: Killerdog at December 21, 2012 04:12 PM (TCVO1)

200 General and/or nuclear war. Israel and Taiwan/Korea.



Posted by: J.J. Sefton at December 21, 2012 04:09 PM (XkWWK)





Nahh, it'll be Israel/Iran and India/Pakistan. Order can be flipped on that as well.

Posted by: alexthechick - Told you we weren't worthy of SMOD at December 21, 2012 04:10 PM (VtjlW)

Why not say all of the above?

Posted by: ette at December 21, 2012 04:12 PM (nqBYe)

201
Name one other American hero like John F'n Kerry who was awarded three Purple Hearts without ever spending a day hospitalized? It was a medical miracle, a big fucking miracle.

Posted by: Dr Fish, TDY to SAT for ill mom at December 21, 2012 04:13 PM (ndqJC)

202 >>>148 I like pie.

That is my favorite line from MST3K's Timechasers. That, and "Loser status confirmed!"

Posted by: wooga at December 21, 2012 04:13 PM (dFUso)

203 sipping egg nog, hoping a miracle occurs and booze will be slipped into it.

Posted by: ette at December 21, 2012 04:13 PM (nqBYe)

204 Horses Ass Nominates Horses Face

This is horstoric.

Posted by: CraigPoe at December 21, 2012 04:13 PM (BVkEs)

205 Ketchup Diplomacy should demand anout as much international respect as Cankle's pantsuits did.

Posted by: wth at December 21, 2012 04:14 PM (wAQA5)

206
season 7 of Doctor Who began last September, aired 5 episodes

it will return in April for the other 9 episodes (besides the Christmas special)

so it's still in the middle of season 7

Posted by: soothsayer in a barrel going over the cliff at December 21, 2012 04:14 PM (ptD6d)

207 Why not say all of the above?
Posted by: ette at December 21, 2012 04:12 PM (nqBYe)



Excellent point. *smuggles over flask*

Posted by: alexthechick - Told you we weren't worthy of SMOD at December 21, 2012 04:15 PM (VtjlW)

208 It's not so much a club mentality as the Senate Republicans are probably just happy to be rid of Horseface Obloviator.

Posted by: Wonkish Rogue at December 21, 2012 04:15 PM (dvRYt)

209 As a citizen of MA, I am glad he will be out
Of here! Good Riddance!

Posted by: CarolT at December 21, 2012 04:15 PM (CofEF)

210
Senator John Kerry was the correct choice, and I wholeheartedly endorse his selection. He was five-hands above the other candidates.

Posted by: Sarah Jessica Parker at December 21, 2012 04:16 PM (ndqJC)

211 204 Horses Ass Nominates Horses Face

This is horstoric.
Posted by: CraigPoe at December 21, 2012 04:13 PM (BVkEs)

Both ends meet at Alpha and Omega, no?

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at December 21, 2012 04:16 PM (XkWWK)

212 Wait David Duchovny is a Companion now? I'm so confused.

Of all the naked hotassery on that show, the first person who comes to your mind is David Duchovny???

Who are you and what have you done with alexthechick?

Posted by: Hollowpoint at December 21, 2012 04:16 PM (SY2Kh)

213
sipping egg nog, hoping a miracle occurs and booze will be slipped into it.


Posted by: ette at December 21, 2012 04:13 PM (nqBYe)

----
Will a Rufinol do???

Posted by: fixerupper at December 21, 2012 04:16 PM (nELVU)

214 Pahkeestan? The country which imprisoned a doctor who assisted our intelligence agencies after we leaked information for political purposes which identified the doctor (but covered Obama in glory)? Did Kerry secure this hero doctor's release?Was that even discussed?

Posted by: ejo at December 21, 2012 04:17 PM (GXvSO)

215
after I eat I get sharp pains in my lower abdomen on the right side

what's that, my liver?

my appendix?

Posted by: soothsayer in a barrel going over the cliff at December 21, 2012 04:17 PM (ptD6d)

216 210
Senator John Kerry was the correct choice, and I wholeheartedly endorse his selection. He was five-hands above the other candidates.
Posted by: Sarah Jessica Parker at December 21, 2012 04:16 PM (ndqJC)


More like 5 lengths in front on a sloppy track.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at December 21, 2012 04:18 PM (XkWWK)

217 he's a mudder

Posted by: phoenixgirl at December 21, 2012 04:18 PM (GVxQo)

218 Yay!!! A bunch of Hollywood assholes just made a video to make it easier for you to know not to patronize their products: http://tinyurl.com/cd4cvrw

Posted by: DAve at December 21, 2012 04:18 PM (XDC0v)

219
Crap. I can't give my candid opinion here without being banned.

Just have to express my profound dismay.

Posted by: irongrampa at December 21, 2012 04:19 PM (SAMxH)

220 Jon Carry's original boat: Scaramouche (later changed to "Let It Be")
Definition of "scaramouche": a boastful coward
Price tag: $700,000+
Efficiency: 0.68 mpg
Jon Carry's vote on CAFE standards: Yes
Jon Carry's more recent boat purchase: Isabel
Price tag: $7 million
Taxes avoided by not purchasing in home state of Mass.: $435,000 in sales tax and $70,000 in annual excise taxes

Douche factor: 100%

Posted by: jakeman at December 21, 2012 04:19 PM (96M6e)

221 215
after I eat I get sharp pains in my lower abdomen on the right side

what's that, my liver?

my appendix?
Posted by: soothsayer in a barrel going over the cliff at December 21, 2012 04:17 PM (ptD6d)


Possibly your glossary or thesaurus.

Seriously, might be gall bladder (stones?) If it is persisting, get thee to an emergency room/urgent care.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at December 21, 2012 04:19 PM (XkWWK)

222
For Chrissakes confirm this guy so he can finally get his ass over to Cambodia for Christmas. Sear the other side of his Lurch-headed brain.

Posted by: Mac at December 21, 2012 04:19 PM (0J18b)

223
where are our kindneys?

one on each side?

Posted by: soothsayer in a barrel going over the cliff at December 21, 2012 04:19 PM (ptD6d)

224 @99 my thoughts exactly. Funny as I get older how I become more in tune with the seasons.

Posted by: connielu at December 21, 2012 04:20 PM (i0aCV)

225 kidneys are in the back

Posted by: phoenixgirl at December 21, 2012 04:20 PM (GVxQo)

226
where's my gall located?

Posted by: soothsayer in a barrel going over the cliff at December 21, 2012 04:20 PM (ptD6d)

227 jwb @ 123 - thanx much - it's more than I had and gives me a launch pad. Thanx again.

Posted by: Old Bob at December 21, 2012 04:20 PM (TgZ6X)

228 He's got a head start on the job, he's already comatose.

Posted by: wth at December 21, 2012 04:20 PM (wAQA5)

229
John Kerry's discharge records reflected a Silver Star with "V" devise. The SS is a valor award and does not require a "V." Kerry forged his records, but claimed the records clerk made a mistake. Bullshit!

Posted by: Dr Fish, TDY to SAT for ill mom at December 21, 2012 04:21 PM (ndqJC)

230 218 Posted by: DAve at December 21, 2012 04:18 PM (XDC0v)

Sonny Bono's Mistake is demanding we boycott Walmart because they sold out their guns.

Okay everybody, shop Walmart!

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at December 21, 2012 04:21 PM (XkWWK)

231 alex, ty, ty.


Fixer , ack!

Posted by: ette at December 21, 2012 04:22 PM (nqBYe)

232 chocolate cake trumps a John F'n Kerry discussion every time.

Posted by: Vizzini at December 21, 2012 04:22 PM (O7Q1u)

233 Sonny Bono's Mistake is demanding we boycott Walmart because they sold out their guns.



Okay everybody, shop Walmart!


Why? They're out of guns.

Posted by: Hollowpoint at December 21, 2012 04:22 PM (SY2Kh)

234 Is Jane Fonda too old to be Ambassador to the UN?

Posted by: Fritz at December 21, 2012 04:22 PM (w3+gB)

235 They should make a video game about John F'n Kerry's Vietnam war experience. The object is to take your yacht to the middle of the river where the enemy can't go and hide and do the paperwork for medals earned in imaginary combats.

Posted by: Butters at December 21, 2012 04:23 PM (NIZHJ)

236 229 Posted by: Dr Fish, TDY to SAT for ill mom at December 21, 2012 04:21 PM (ndqJC)

The only "V" device on John Cash n Kerry is a Vietnamese vibrator.

Fuck him.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at December 21, 2012 04:23 PM (XkWWK)

237 sipping egg nog, hoping a miracle occurs and booze will be slipped into it.

You just reminded me to look up a recipe for egg nog. Apparently there are two different versions; with alcohol, and without. What a country.

Though after looking at the recipe, I'd rather just load up some vanilla ice cream with some Kahlua -- it's just about the same flavor result, without the fear of salmonella from undercooked eggs, or a taste disaster from overcooked eggs.

Posted by: Schrödinger's cat at December 21, 2012 04:23 PM (feFL6)

238
John's earned the respect and confidence of leaders around the world. He is not
going to need a lot of on-the-job-training," Obama said.




Slap at Hillary?

Posted by: Jay Guevara at December 21, 2012 04:23 PM (4u2LN)

239 233 Why? They're out of guns.
Posted by: Hollowpoint at December 21, 2012 04:22 PM (SY2Kh)

How about food and condoms?

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at December 21, 2012 04:24 PM (XkWWK)

240 John Kerry, Sarah Jessica Parkerand a horse walk into a bar. The bartender looks at them and says

'first drink on the house since its myfirst time meeting triplets'

Posted by: polynikes at December 21, 2012 04:24 PM (m2CN7)

241 Merry Christmas morons. My gift to you? You don't have to look at this smelly sock or hash for the next four days.

Posted by: SpongeBob Saget's square dildo at December 21, 2012 04:24 PM (97nMP)

242 >>>Slap at Hillary?

I heard she likes it rough.

Posted by: President 3AM at December 21, 2012 04:25 PM (w3+gB)

243 Slap at Hillary?

Quick, someone head down to Staples and get this guy a RESET OVERCHARGE button!

Posted by: jakeman at December 21, 2012 04:26 PM (96M6e)

244 sooth migth be appendix. certainly the right area.

if pain doesn't abate see doc.
another way to give more credibilty to appendix is to poke (another person poking sometimes is best )four fingers into area,
see if you faint.

(i'm not a health care provider online or off.)

anyway pain usually escalates.


Posted by: ette at December 21, 2012 04:26 PM (nqBYe)

245 Though after looking at the recipe, I'd rather just
load up some vanilla ice cream with some Kahlua -- it's just about the
same flavor result, without the fear of salmonella from undercooked
eggs, or a taste disaster from overcooked eggs.

Posted by: Schrödinger's cat at December 21, 2012 04:23 PM (feFL6)

sounds yummy !

Posted by: ette at December 21, 2012 04:27 PM (nqBYe)

246 John's earned the respect and confidence of leaders around the world. He is not
going to need a lot of on-the-job-training," Obama said.

Slap at Hillary?

He already knows how to run and hide.

Posted by: rickb223 Let. It. Burn. at December 21, 2012 04:27 PM (GFM2b)

247 >>>after I eat I get sharp pains in my lower abdomen on the right side


what's that, my liver?


my appendix?


Rarely liver. Possible Appendix, possible gall bladder. Both of which require a doctors intervention to avoid death. In other words see your doctor, chances are you need him/her.

Posted by: MikeTheMoose is Shrugging at December 21, 2012 04:27 PM (0q2P7)

248 I'm actually in favor of this. This could give Scott Brown back his Senate Seat.

Posted by: Sgt. York at December 21, 2012 04:27 PM (WHcjL)

249
One of my life goals is living long enough to piss on that man's grave.

This shit provides more than enough incentive.

Posted by: irongrampa at December 21, 2012 04:28 PM (SAMxH)

250
/commencing to poke

nope, no fainti

Posted by: soothsayer in a barrel going over the cliff at December 21, 2012 04:28 PM (ptD6d)

251
It's always after I eat for about an hour or two. Weird.

Posted by: soothsayer in a barrel going over the cliff at December 21, 2012 04:29 PM (ptD6d)

252 248 I'm actually in favor of this. This could give Scott Brown back his Senate Seat.

Posted by: Sgt. York at December 21, 2012 04:27 PM (WHcjL)

Better a state gets fucked than an entire nation. Then again, we've had a 4 year ass raping by the gang from "Josie Wales" and they aren't done yet.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at December 21, 2012 04:29 PM (XkWWK)

253 sooth if it's after you eat, perhaps just lower intestine making room

(helpful aren't i?)

Posted by: ette at December 21, 2012 04:29 PM (nqBYe)

254 Pain in abdomen is how my cancer showed up. Get a colonoscopy ASAP.

Posted by: Vic at December 21, 2012 04:29 PM (53z96)

255 If it's always after you eat, it could definitely be gall bladder related. Is it worse if you eat fatty or high protein foods?

Posted by: Vizzini at December 21, 2012 04:30 PM (O7Q1u)

256 Hillary is happy the lurch looking fucker will be taking over for her, gives her more time to watch Bill and his harem.

Posted by: Killerdog at December 21, 2012 04:30 PM (TCVO1)

257 sooth, harder!

kidding. srsly though if pain last i would see a doc. (or any escalation of pain)

Posted by: ette at December 21, 2012 04:30 PM (nqBYe)

258
you guys are morbid, you know that?

Posted by: soothsayer in a barrel going over the cliff at December 21, 2012 04:30 PM (ptD6d)

259 what are you thinking, Vizzini?

don't say gout!

Posted by: soothsayer in a barrel going over the cliff at December 21, 2012 04:31 PM (ptD6d)

260 They should make a video game about John F'n Kerry's
Vietnam war experience. The object is to take your yacht to the middle
of the river where the enemy can't go and hide and do the paperwork for
medals earned in imaginary combats.


Posted by: Butters at December 21, 2012 04:23 PM (NIZHJ)



When filling out the paper work Kerry was wounded by a deadly paper clip, once had a staple break his skin and had a rather nasty paper cut that required a band aid. Very brave of him to face that kind of life threatening injuries

Posted by: TheQuietMan at December 21, 2012 04:31 PM (1Jaio)

261 Isn't it about time for new one?

Posted by: Vic at December 21, 2012 04:31 PM (53z96)

262 Get a colonoscopy ASAP.

Agreed. I'm the man for the job. Now let me just push that stool in for you and I'll take a look.

Posted by: Dr. Bernard Frank at December 21, 2012 04:32 PM (feFL6)

263 251
It's always after I eat for about an hour or two. Weird.
Posted by: soothsayer in a barrel going over the cliff at December 21, 2012 04:29 PM (ptD6d)

Sooth: Apologies for the earlier dumb joke. Could be appendix. Do you have bad indigestion as well? If the pain and indigestion get sharper and more prolonged, it sounds like appendix.

Gall bladder would manifest itself when you pee.

If it does continue, or if the symptoms are close to what you have, best not to fuck around and get to an ER or urgent care post haste.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at December 21, 2012 04:32 PM (XkWWK)

264 Tape worm. Or ulcer. More Val-u-rite will cure either.

Posted by: President 3AM at December 21, 2012 04:33 PM (w3+gB)

265 >>>It's always after I eat for about an hour or two. Weird.

Well that cements it as most likely either Gall Bladder or Appendicitis. The two are very close in symptoms. SEE YOUR DOCTOR before your appendix explodies and kills you over the course of a few hours of agonizing pain.

Posted by: MikeTheMoose is Shrugging at December 21, 2012 04:33 PM (0q2P7)

266 I would just like to register my disappointment with the Mayans and SMOD. First, Nov. 6. Now, another letdown.

Posted by: chique d'afrique (the artist formerly known as african chick) at December 21, 2012 04:33 PM (6zgse)

267 254 Pain in abdomen is how my cancer showed up. Get a colonoscopy ASAP.
Posted by: Vic at December 21, 2012 04:29 PM (53z96)

I would start off small and then go for more invasive procedures as a doctor might warrant.

But if the pain is persisting, get to the doctor as soon as you can.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at December 21, 2012 04:34 PM (XkWWK)

268 you know what bothers me? people that are not asian bowing as if they are asian....picture on drudge of kerry.....ugh....

Posted by: phoenixgirl at December 21, 2012 04:34 PM (GVxQo)

269
just twinges of pain, nothing too bad

I'm just trying to figure out what organ is in the vicinity of my belt line on the right-ish side.

Posted by: soothsayer in a barrel going over the cliff at December 21, 2012 04:34 PM (ptD6d)

270 it's probably just gas

Posted by: phoenixgirl at December 21, 2012 04:34 PM (GVxQo)

271 want me to pull your finger?

Posted by: phoenixgirl at December 21, 2012 04:35 PM (GVxQo)

272 My Christmas wish is for SMOD to hit John Kerry's private yacht.

Posted by: dantesed at December 21, 2012 04:35 PM (GmsM/)

273
I wonder if it's worth it to remove appendixes and tonsils at birth.

Posted by: soothsayer in a barrel going over the cliff at December 21, 2012 04:35 PM (ptD6d)

274 269
just twinges of pain, nothing too bad

I'm just trying to figure out what organ is in the vicinity of my belt line on the right-ish side.
Posted by: soothsayer in a barrel going over the cliff at December 21, 2012 04:34 PM (ptD6d)


Did you turn to WebMD or your trusty Pyro Visible Man model?

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at December 21, 2012 04:36 PM (XkWWK)

275 I'm just trying to figure out what organ is in the vicinity of my belt line on the right-ish side.

Well, that depends on whether you wrap it clockwise or counterclockwise.

Posted by: Vizzini at December 21, 2012 04:36 PM (O7Q1u)

276
no gas

and my stools are firm

I also have a shiny coat and a wet nose.

Posted by: soothsayer in a barrel going over the cliff at December 21, 2012 04:36 PM (ptD6d)

277 Posted by: soothsayer in a barrel going over the cliff at December 21, 2012 04:34 PM (ptD6d)

stay away from the 8 penny nails and the pain should stop.

Posted by: Killerdog at December 21, 2012 04:37 PM (TCVO1)

278 273
I wonder if it's worth it to remove appendixes and tonsils at birth.
Posted by: soothsayer in a barrel going over the cliff at December 21, 2012 04:35 PM (ptD6d)


I was thinking about getting a pre-emptive heart and kidney transplant and chemo therapy before Obamacare kicks in and makes it unavailable.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at December 21, 2012 04:37 PM (XkWWK)

279 you guys are morbid, you know that?


Posted by: soothsayer in a barrel going over the cliff at December 21, 2012 04:30 PM (ptD6d)
am not

Posted by: ette at December 21, 2012 04:37 PM (nqBYe)

280
Pyro Visible Man model?


I never heard of this. It sounds gay.

Posted by: soothsayer in a barrel going over the cliff at December 21, 2012 04:37 PM (ptD6d)

281 Isn't it about time for new one?

TWSS

Posted by: Hollowpoint at December 21, 2012 04:38 PM (SY2Kh)

282 >>I'm just trying to figure out what organ is in the vicinity of my belt line on the right-ish side.


Posted by: soothsayer in a barrel going over the cliff at December 21, 2012 04:34 PM (ptD6d)




There's a little rarer form of Diverticulitis that happens on the right side.

Colonoscopy would find that as well.

Posted by: ontherocks at December 21, 2012 04:38 PM (aZ6ew)

283 If Scott Brown thinks he can win, he has to
Change & be conservative. People here in
MA were not happy when he voted with dens .

Posted by: CarolT at December 21, 2012 04:39 PM (tmzN0)

284 We're having our big year end blow out. Come on down and we'll give you a coupon for a 50% discount at Big Tonsil.

Posted by: Big Appendix at December 21, 2012 04:39 PM (w3+gB)

285 258
you guys are morbid, you know that?

Posted by: soothsayer in a barrel going over the cliff at December 21, 2012 04:30 PM (ptD6d)


Castration.
Or looser underwear, if you're desperate.

Posted by: jwb7605 (Let It Burn) at December 21, 2012 04:39 PM (Qxe/p)

286 Could be ulcer. Hard to tell with the abdomen because pain translates to other areas.

Posted by: eleven at December 21, 2012 04:39 PM (fsLdt)

287
>>>I'm just trying to figure out what organ is in the vicinity of my belt line on the right-ish side.

You've got five things in there. Large Intestine, Small Intestine, Appendix, Pancreas, gall bladder.

Posted by: MikeTheMoose is Shrugging at December 21, 2012 04:39 PM (0q2P7)

288 There's definitely a facehugger alien growing in you. Just let the little guy eat in peace.

Posted by: Hollowpoint at December 21, 2012 04:40 PM (SY2Kh)

289 We are glad to be almost rid of Lurch.

Posted by: CarolT at December 21, 2012 04:40 PM (tmzN0)

290 so, will hairy reed give lerch a big wet kiss on his last day in the senate?

Posted by: Killerdog at December 21, 2012 04:40 PM (TCVO1)

291 280
Pyro Visible Man model?

I never heard of this. It sounds gay.

There used to be a Visible Woman too.

Google it. And do see your doctor if the pain is persisting or getting worse and you also get bad heartburn with it.


Posted by: J.J. Sefton at December 21, 2012 04:40 PM (XkWWK)

292 Bottom line for Zervos: This won't end pretty, and there's only one place to hide. The good news is: It's stocks.

There are no coefficients, no NAIRUs, no Phillips curves and no r-stars. And the rule has summed up Fed behavior in the post crisis world better than any other. To that end, the only safe place to hide from the guaranteed dilution of the real value of money and debt is in real/hard assets. And if you still believe (like I do) that the business cycle exists, and we will eventually see an upswing in real growth, then the best real asset is physical capital - specifically equity capital. Good luck trading.

Posted by: Gordon Gekko at December 21, 2012 04:40 PM (e8kgV)

293
I'm really not wanting a colonoscopy.

Ever.

And no prostate exams, either.

Posted by: soothsayer in a barrel going over the cliff at December 21, 2012 04:40 PM (ptD6d)

294 Terazzzza looked dead and embalmed in the shots of the announcement I saw on TV.

Posted by: Sherry McEvil, Wily Wrepublican Wench at December 21, 2012 04:40 PM (kXoT0)

295 appendix would be lower than belt line unless you sag
below navel right side between right hip bone and umbilicus,
although sometimes the pain can be so intense one cannot tell but everything by and below umbilicus hurts.

Posted by: ette at December 21, 2012 04:41 PM (nqBYe)

296 you guys are morbid, you know that?

Did even ONE of us mention that it is most likely an inoperable tumor that has metastasized throughout his entire body ensuring his life will now be measured in not years, or weeks, but probably hours?

Or gas. One of the two.

Posted by: Web MD at December 21, 2012 04:41 PM (feFL6)

297 163 152 I've heard that about you. What flavor you like best?
Posted by: BCochran1981 at December 21, 2012 03:50 PM (da5Wo)

Fur.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at December 21, 2012 03:51 PM (XkWWK)


I am ashamed of you Horde. Truly, deeply and horribly ashamed of each and every one of you. Ashamed and appalled and horrified.

It took a whole seven comments to go there? Really? Tsk tsk tsk. You're slipping, Horde.
Posted by: alexthechick - Told you we weren't worthy of SMOD at December 21, 2012 03:54 PM (VtjlW)


*************

FWIW, the first thought I had was "hair". So I hope that makes you feel a bit better, AtC

Posted by: Boomer Redneque at December 21, 2012 04:41 PM (6P9Du)

298 Morbid, no. Moribund, yes.

Posted by: Vizzini at December 21, 2012 04:42 PM (O7Q1u)

299 sooth, why not,
hey babe

do do do , do do do
humming song.

Posted by: ette at December 21, 2012 04:42 PM (nqBYe)

300 It's always after I eat for about an hour or two. Weird.

Well there's your problem. Maybe try eating for shorter periods of times. Honestly, I think everyone would be in pain after eating for 2 or 3 hours straight.

Seriously, definitely go see a doctor. could be allergies. could be gall bladder could be all kinds of stuff. Pain is a pretty could indicator that something is wrong.

Posted by: wiserbud at December 21, 2012 04:42 PM (gCa4h)

301 Down that low I'd say Appendicitis.

That'll be two chickens plz.

Posted by: eleven -- medicine man at December 21, 2012 04:43 PM (fsLdt)

302 293
I'm really not wanting a colonoscopy.

Ever.

And no prostate exams, either.
Posted by: soothsayer in a barrel going over the cliff at December 21, 2012 04:40 PM (ptD6d)

I have had 3 colonoscopies and a benign polyp was removed. You should start getting them at 40 (not 50). But since Obamacare will ban this procedure as too expensive, then you have nothing to worry about.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at December 21, 2012 04:43 PM (XkWWK)

303 ok, now that we are talking ailments and playing doctor.

how long does it take to take to normally recover from an ordinary cold?

Posted by: ette at December 21, 2012 04:43 PM (nqBYe)

304 269 I'm just trying to figure out what organ is in the vicinity of my belt line on the right-ish side.

Oh, that region...

Sounds like you're describing precisely where the scar is...from my appendectomy.

Posted by: Rob McNeece at December 21, 2012 04:44 PM (YesJa)

305 Its like Obama is sticking his thumb in our eye. Ya'd think he was doing stuff just to piss us off or something. Huh? Strange. Its like he's some sort of idealogue...who knew??


Posted by: dananjcon at December 21, 2012 04:44 PM (jvd3N)

306
If it comes to it, I'll do my own colonoscopy with a spy camera or something.

Posted by: soothsayer in a barrel going over the cliff at December 21, 2012 04:44 PM (ptD6d)

307 Sorry to say it but if the doc suspect appendicitis you get the fickle finger of fate.

Posted by: eleven -- medicine man at December 21, 2012 04:44 PM (fsLdt)

308 There's no need to be alarmed, unless they try to give you more than one finger.

Posted by: Big Appendix at December 21, 2012 04:45 PM (w3+gB)

309 303 ok, now that we are talking ailments and playing doctor.

how long does it take to take to normally recover from an ordinary cold?
Posted by: ette at December 21, 2012 04:43 PM (nqBYe)


Too many variables. Everyone's immune system is different and viruses act upon people differently. You should give it 4-5 days to be sure.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at December 21, 2012 04:45 PM (XkWWK)

310 >>>how long does it take to take to normally recover from an ordinary cold?

No such thing as an "ordinary" cold. Depending on how bad your symptoms became it can take a couple of days to a couple of months to fully recover.

Posted by: MikeTheMoose is Shrugging at December 21, 2012 04:45 PM (0q2P7)

311 how long does it take to take to normally recover from an ordinary cold?

I thought we outlawed those? Along with car accidents and slippery sidewalks.

Posted by: Vizzini at December 21, 2012 04:45 PM (O7Q1u)

312


sooth, they knock you out for the colonoscopy. Haven't had the prostate exam, but had several colon tours. Nothin'

The endoscopy is what sucks. That thing makes your throat hurt for days (and makes you hope they did the throat first, as I asked the Doc to do for me)

Your pain could be any number of things, including small kidney or bladder stones.

Or it could be a portal to the negative dimension that is just waiting to suck you in from the inside out.

Posted by: imp at December 21, 2012 04:45 PM (UaxA0)

313
for me, exactly 7-14 days to fully get over a cold

Posted by: soothsayer in a barrel going over the cliff at December 21, 2012 04:45 PM (ptD6d)

314 May not be the appendix. Could be the dreaded FUPA. Fupaectomies are very touchy.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at December 21, 2012 04:46 PM (XkWWK)

315 Have to ask this since it hasn't been covered,

You ARE eating food right?

Posted by: ontherocks at December 21, 2012 04:46 PM (aZ6ew)

316 >>>There's no need to be alarmed, unless they try to give you more than one finger.

Or put both hands on your shoulders.

Posted by: MikeTheMoose is Shrugging at December 21, 2012 04:46 PM (0q2P7)

317 The worst thing about a colonoscopy is the prep. The procedure itself is nothing.

Posted by: Vic at December 21, 2012 04:46 PM (53z96)

318
you think I'm going under while strangers in a cold room play with my rectum?


Posted by: soothsayer in a barrel going over the cliff at December 21, 2012 04:46 PM (ptD6d)

319 315 Have to ask this since it hasn't been covered,

You ARE eating food right?
Posted by: ontherocks at December 21, 2012 04:46 PM (aZ6ew)

You think Sooth is Fester eating lightbulbs or the carnival freak eating razors?!


Hey Sooth, are you?

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at December 21, 2012 04:47 PM (XkWWK)

320 You know the real reason he did is he just loves having past Democrat presidential candidates be his bitch.

Posted by: DriveBy at December 21, 2012 04:47 PM (PqT4s)

321
I thought appendicitis was rare??

It sounds like you've all had it!

Posted by: soothsayer in a barrel going over the cliff at December 21, 2012 04:47 PM (ptD6d)

322

you guys are morbid, you know that?

Morbidly obese mainly.

(says the skinny guy)

Posted by: imp at December 21, 2012 04:47 PM (UaxA0)

323 >>>how long does it take to take to normally recover from an ordinary cold?

**

MINUNTES!! Thats right Minutes!! With my new health care plan you'll be whistlin dixie in no time.

Posted by: Barky the Carny Barker at December 21, 2012 04:48 PM (jvd3N)

324 316 >>>There's no need to be alarmed, unless they try to give you more than one finger.

Or put both hands on your shoulders.
Posted by: MikeTheMoose is Shrugging at December 21, 2012 04:46 PM (0q2P7)


LOL!!!


Hey doc, are you using the WHOLE fist? "Moon River..."

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at December 21, 2012 04:48 PM (XkWWK)

325 >>>you think I'm going under while strangers in a cold room play with my rectum?

And you'll pay for the privilege, sonny.

Posted by: Big Appendix at December 21, 2012 04:48 PM (w3+gB)

326 you think I'm going under while strangers in a cold room play with my rectum?

You'd rather be awake so you can enjoy it?

Posted by: Hollowpoint at December 21, 2012 04:48 PM (SY2Kh)

327 FIAF is back!

Posted by: Vic at December 21, 2012 04:49 PM (53z96)

328 323 Posted by: Barky the Carny Barker at December 21, 2012 04:48 PM (jvd3N)

Jeez, for a minute you sounded like the Slap Chop douchebag.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at December 21, 2012 04:49 PM (XkWWK)

329
honestly, the thing I most fear:

worms/parasites

makes me sick thinking about it

Posted by: soothsayer in a barrel going over the cliff at December 21, 2012 04:49 PM (ptD6d)

330 >>>you think I'm going under while strangers in a cold room play with my rectum?

All I know is, I really don't care much what happens. I just don't want to remember it.

Posted by: MikeTheMoose is Shrugging at December 21, 2012 04:49 PM (0q2P7)

331 321
I thought appendicitis was rare??

It sounds like you've all had it!
Posted by: soothsayer in a barrel going over the cliff at December 21, 2012 04:47 PM (ptD6d)


Caught it from a dirty toilet seat.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at December 21, 2012 04:50 PM (XkWWK)

332 you think I'm going under while strangers in a cold room play with my rectum?


It could be worse. It could be someone you know.

Posted by: Vizzini at December 21, 2012 04:50 PM (O7Q1u)

333 329
honestly, the thing I most fear:

worms/parasites

makes me sick thinking about it
Posted by: soothsayer in a barrel going over the cliff at December 21, 2012 04:49 PM (ptD6d)


So okay, now you are going to have to try and remember everything you've eaten for the past month if you are worried about that.

Get to the doctor already!

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at December 21, 2012 04:51 PM (XkWWK)

334 People calling in to Howie Carr's show are regaling him with stories about how cheap John Kerry (who served in Vietnam and is for the children(TM), by the way) and always stiffed people who served him. It appears he doesn't believe in tips.

Posted by: chique d'afrique (the artist formerly known as african chick) at December 21, 2012 04:51 PM (6zgse)

335 330 >>>you think I'm going under while strangers in a cold room play with my rectum?

All I know is, I really don't care much what happens. I just don't want to remember it.
Posted by: MikeTheMoose is Shrugging at December 21, 2012 04:49 PM (0q2P7)

Little gray men, with 4 fingers and bug eyes and a LOOONG needle...

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at December 21, 2012 04:52 PM (XkWWK)

336 Jeez, for a minute you sounded like the Slap Chop douchebag.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at December 21, 2012 04:49 PM (XkWWK)
**Oh, Thats no douchbag my friends! Thats the new and improved Barka-matic health care system where anyone and everyone gets the same health treatment no matter what!! After-all its only fair... RIGHT??

Posted by: Barky the Carny Barker at December 21, 2012 04:52 PM (jvd3N)

337 I thought appendicits wasn't rare at all. And no I haven't had it but doc thought I might. Yay me.

Posted by: eleven -- medicine man at December 21, 2012 04:53 PM (fsLdt)

338
I'm just saying in general, do not want parasites.

Posted by: soothsayer in a barrel going over the cliff at December 21, 2012 04:54 PM (ptD6d)

339 336 Posted by: Barky the Carny Barker at December 21, 2012 04:52 PM (jvd3N)

Fair is foul and foul is fair.

Macbeth's America

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at December 21, 2012 04:54 PM (XkWWK)

340

you think I'm going under while strangers in a cold room play with my rectum?

Hopefully your doctor will take you out for dinner and a show first. That makes it much nicer.

(Actually, the cleaning out of your intestines is ... interesting. Can't say as I'd do it without having a procedure coming up, but getting rid of absolutely EVERYTHING inside is a unique experience)

Posted by: imp at December 21, 2012 04:54 PM (UaxA0)

341 If you like your appendix...YOU. CAN. KEEP IT!!

Posted by: Barky the Carny Barker at December 21, 2012 04:55 PM (jvd3N)

342 44 Hey - maybe Jane Fonda's available for SecDef?

Posted by: Rob McNeece at December 21, 2012 03:04 PM (YesJa)

That would be too cruel for words.

Posted by: KG at December 21, 2012 04:55 PM (p7BzH)

343
318
you think I'm going under while strangers in a cold room play with my rectum?

-----------

soothsayer,
They now have a little pill-shaped camera...that you swallow.
It shows what is going on, all the way down.

You don't have to go through all that other invasive stuff...unless there is a damn good reason to.

There are a variety of intestinal conditions that might be causing your pains.
It could be something like a slight impaction, or clog, that has started.
Try taking some sort of High Fiber super-clean-you-out sort of stuff...and see if that gets rid of your pain.

Posted by: wheatie at December 21, 2012 04:55 PM (K4wCe)

344 The procedure itself is nothing.

The wife had one a couple years ago after her brother had the big C diagnosis. Everything went fine. They wheel her into some sort of 'recovery room' where I'm allowed to enter. All the diagnostic equipment is shit. They show her BP at 60/20 or something ridiculous. Alarms go off. They hook up another monitor, which works fine for two minutes then the same thing, basically no BP. More alarms. More changing of equipment. The alarms were still going off when she got up and we left.

The worst part was they sent her home with 8 X 10 glossy photos of her 'poop shoot'. I really didn't need that.

Posted by: Web MD at December 21, 2012 04:55 PM (feFL6)

345 "Loser status confirmed!"

Watch me wear the hell out of this cardigan!

Posted by: Agent from H.A.R.M. at December 21, 2012 04:56 PM (PMGbu)

346 What exactly is a Senate committee?

Posted by: Sharron Akin O'Mourdock at December 21, 2012 04:56 PM (pmsMR)

347 soothsayer, They now have a little pill-shaped camera...that you swallow.
It shows what is going on, all the way down.


They don't tend to go PillCam unless there's good reason to suspect something in the small intestine. I did it once while eliminating celiac disease and intestinal lymphoma from a symptom set. In general, it's still more cost effective to go with the colonoscopy/endoscopy combo these days.

Been there, done that.

On a more general note, the problem with GI stuff like soothsayer's complaining about is that a lot of these things tend to refer pain to other areas of the abdomen. It takes a professional to piece the various symptoms and time dependencies together to decide what to look for. Long story short, absolutely see your GP first and then your gastroenterologist if need be.

Posted by: Additional Blond Agent at December 21, 2012 05:00 PM (PMGbu)

348 The shame goes away once you hit the parking lot.

Posted by: Big Appendix at December 21, 2012 05:01 PM (w3+gB)

349

I think it's rather appropriate that on a John Kerry confirmation thread we are talking about the close examination of assholes

Posted by: imp at December 21, 2012 05:01 PM (UaxA0)

350 Willlburrr!

Posted by: Mr. Ed at December 21, 2012 05:02 PM (wAQA5)

351
I don't think it warrants a doctor's visit yet, but thanks, everyone.

Posted by: soothsayer in a barrel going over the cliff at December 21, 2012 05:06 PM (ptD6d)

352 If you croak because you didn't go to the doctor, don't come crying to me...

Posted by: Mom at December 21, 2012 05:08 PM (PMGbu)

353 351
I don't think it warrants a doctor's visit yet, but thanks, everyone.

Posted by: soothsayer in a barrel going over the cliff at December 21, 2012 05:06 PM (ptD6d)


Be sure to ask questions about all the diagnoses given here.
That's how they learn things.

Posted by: jwb7605 (Let It Burn) at December 21, 2012 05:09 PM (Qxe/p)

354 If this were a just world, Horseface would be rotting in Leavenworth, beeng nominated for cell block bitch.

Posted by: Braineaterbob at December 21, 2012 05:11 PM (qDbun)

355 Somehow, there's poetic justice in a thread that starts with John F'ing Kerry, and ends in colonoscopies and death.

Posted by: jakeman at December 21, 2012 05:13 PM (96M6e)

356
Posted by: Additional Blond Agent at December 21, 2012 05:00 PM (PMGbu)

All good advice.

Also...a lot of people don't realize that things like Antihistamines and Decongestants will cause dryness in your intestinal tract.
This can lead to pain, as things are moving through the intestines.

Taking meds to dry up your sinuses and sniffles...over a long period of time...can cause constipation, impactions, and even a nasty infection.

This happened to me.
I was misdiagnosed with all sorts of things...like Diverticulitus, Cronesand IBD...and put through all that invasive stuff, until we finally figured out what was going on.

I now just take some herbal+fiber tablets whenever I have to take stuff for sniffles and congestion...and I'm fine.

Posted by: wheatie at December 21, 2012 05:13 PM (K4wCe)

357 Aaaannnnd, I see that imp kinda beat me to the thought at 349...

Posted by: jakeman at December 21, 2012 05:14 PM (96M6e)

358 Be thankful Kerry wasn't named SecDef.

OTOH, all of our enemies WOULD have died laughing...

Posted by: sherlock at December 21, 2012 05:49 PM (7UMow)

359 O'Fucking Bama bitches!!!

Jug Eared Fuck.

That is all.

Posted by: Portnoy at December 21, 2012 07:40 PM (A5Abh)

360 And here I would have thought that treasonwould disqualify someone from holding such an office. Of course, he is part of a lawless Senate that hasn't passed a budget in four years, so, you know,what the fuck.
Bartender? Just like the government of the United States, I'd like to run a tab.
A big fucking tab.

Posted by: -Shawn- at December 21, 2012 08:00 PM (MDVUQ)

361 Hey John, why the long face ? I'm sure you will be confirmed.

Posted by: Truff at December 21, 2012 08:12 PM (fQlRP)

362 In the movie 1984 do you remember the big movie screen that was in every apartment and public square shouting propaganda all the time....well I think that has arrived.

If you ever wondered what the children of the radical 60's would do to the country...surprise.

Posted by: ALL_IS_LOST at December 21, 2012 08:33 PM (T/L2Z)






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