What If You Knew? Really KNEW? (stuiec)

Dec. 15 was the first day of principal photography on a feature film I adapted from a story my daughter wrote, "The Last Earth Girl Went To Space To Find God." Her story was in the form of diary entries by a woman alone in a space capsule, traveling at near-lightspeed to the edge of the physical Universe (beyond which she imagines God to reside) so that she can confront Him and ask why He allowed a cosmic catastrophe to destroy the Solar System and every human being except her. In her diary entries, she recalls how different people reacted differently when they learned to a scientific certainty that all humankind was doomed to destruction on a date certain, ten years from the date of an announcement by a group of astrophysicists.

The beginning of this phase of the film project (being produced and shot by Cellardoor Cinema in Memphis, TN) is sadly coincident with the tragedy in Newtown, CT. It prompted a thought that connects the two.

What if you knew the world was coming to an end in one week -- not thought it could happen or believed it would happen, but KNEW with certainty it shall happen? What if you knew that the end of the world would be a terrifying catastrophe that caused immense pain, suffering and fear before snuffing out every human life on Earth? What would you do?

Would you want to protect your loved ones from the horror of the catastrophe and put them out of their misery quickly and with as little pain as possible? What about other innocent people, blissfully ignorant of their fate -- would you want to help them escape in that way as well?

We now see news reports that quote the neighbors and friends of Nancy Lanza as saying she was a "prepper," convinced that an economic and societal catastrophe was at hand. They said that besides owning and practicing with several firearms, she stockpiled food and water and other survival supplies.

We also see news reports that Adam Lanza spent a great deal of time immersed in computer-based play. These reports suggest that he was far more comfortable in that environment than in physical reality, even resisting his mother's attempts to hug him.

So suppose -- purely speculatively -- that Adam Lanza believed that Friday, Dec. 14, 2012, was exactly one week before the world was going to end on the foreordained catastrophic date of Dec. 21, 2012. Suppose he KNEW that his mother was wrong about their ability to survive the coming meltdown because he KNEW that it wasn't only an economic and sociological phenomenon, but an actual physical event that would render the Earth uninhabitable and in the process kill all human beings in a horrific fashion.

Is it possible that a young man so deluded that he KNEW the end was coming would have chosen to give his mother a peaceful death in her sleep, and then chosen to "save" as many innocent children as he could?

I don't offer this speculation to blame Mayan apocalypse believers or those who offer jokes and memes about Dec. 21. Nor do I offer it as any sort of excuse or justification for the evil acts of Adam Lanza. I offer it because I believe it's important to consider all the possible ways Adam's damaged mind could have arrived at a purely evil course of action."Why did he do it" perhaps has no answer we can ever truly know, but I do know -- for a certainty -- that it has no simple or easy answer.

Posted by: Open Blogger at 04:02 PM



Comments

1 What would you do?

I'm not entirely sure, but there *would* be bacon and tequila for all.

Posted by: Rob McNeece at December 17, 2012 04:04 PM (YesJa)

2 Yesterday I predicted by this time next year we would no longer be allowed to buy guns. The replies I got back were "no way, Democrats in red states won't go along".

About that.....

Manchin (D-WV) and Warner (D-VA) are the first to come out in support of the ban.

Give it a few more days and Monatana, N. Dakota Democrats will be in favor as well.

This bill will get 70+ votes.

Posted by: Mr. Moo Moo at December 17, 2012 04:04 PM (HDgX3)

3 Or, he was batshit crazy and no one will ever be able to make a logical series of thoughts to explain his actions.

Posted by: Ace's Anus at December 17, 2012 04:05 PM (j6kr0)

4 Pffft. Peanut butter. Where's all the damn peanut butter?!?

Posted by: Tim at December 17, 2012 04:06 PM (JSetw)

5 Hookers and blow!

Posted by: clonefan at December 17, 2012 04:10 PM (7bvJx)

6 2 This bill will get 70+ votes.
Posted by: Mr. Moo Moo at December 17, 2012 04:04 PM (HDgX3)

But that stalwart defender of the Constitution, John Boehner, will make sure it goes down to defeat in the House, right?


America is gone.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at December 17, 2012 04:10 PM (XkWWK)

7 My faith prevents me from throwing life away under any pretense. God is to determine the suffering not I. With perhaps the only caveats being self defense, criminal justice.

I would gather my family about me, and pray like we had never prayed before. Knowing that we had only a little time, not our whole lives, to be ready to meet God.

I would want to inspire my son with my faith, to make him want to meet his maker with grace and peace never throwing life away but cherishing every second of God's gift.

Posted by: MikeTheMoose is Shrugging at December 17, 2012 04:10 PM (0q2P7)

8 And we need to know the exact motivation for what? Legislation?

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at December 17, 2012 04:11 PM (QKKT0)

9 Ok, I think this is a fascinating question, stuiec. I believe I would huddle with my family, love them and pray.

I recognize the temptation to put people out of their misery, but my religion don't allow it.

Posted by: Mikeyboss at December 17, 2012 04:11 PM (D4Vl1)

10 I see Mike the Moose took the words out of my keyboard.

Posted by: Mikeyboss at December 17, 2012 04:12 PM (D4Vl1)

11 My last week on Earth would be spent in the close company of my family and friends, except for the time I spent stalking Charlize Theron.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at December 17, 2012 04:13 PM (QKKT0)

12 Hey, Open Blogger:

From someone who has spent his adult life in the living hell of show biz, congratulations on getting your script made, let alone optioned and purchased.

Don't let the bastards get you down, and if you need any advice from a writer who has been there and done it (with the scars to prove it), feel free to get a hold of me via Ace. I think he has my contact info.

Bravo!

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at December 17, 2012 04:13 PM (XkWWK)

13 What would you do?

Not sure, but I'd like to think Eva Green would be involved somehow.

Posted by: Waterhouse at December 17, 2012 04:14 PM (JACEX)

14 This is the issue that the film "Knowing" explores. I think that film is essentially correct, a lot of people will go on a violent spree simply because they think the can get away with it.


There will be riots in the urban areas and any other area that has a high population density.

Posted by: Vic at December 17, 2012 04:14 PM (53z96)

15 I actually had a thought along these lines, but dismissed myself as crazy.

Posted by: USS Diversity at December 17, 2012 04:14 PM (MPjT8)

16 "I believe I would huddle with my family, love them and pray.
"

Posted by: Mikeyboss at December 17, 2012 04:11 PM (D4Vl1)

Can't really beat that.

I would try (and undoubtedly fail) to make the week satisfying and pleasant. That is the ultimate hanging over one's head so it would be a tough sell to put on a happy face.

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at December 17, 2012 04:14 PM (GsoHv)

17 Put in some quality time with the family.
Then after that, hookers and blow.

If there was a chance of survival I'd stock up on food, water, medicine, and arms.

I know a guy who very probably thinks the end is coming. I wonder if he thought of getting a bunch of credit cards and loans so he could live in a bunker in the woods. If you KNEW society was going to collapse, you'd know you don't have to repay any debts, right?

Posted by: fb at December 17, 2012 04:15 PM (NXd0Q)

18 This sounds like a short story I read in 7th grade. Help me out.

Young boy is famous for being able to see the future, but only regarding subjects he is familiar with.
He takes an interest in astronomy, then declares a glorious "new age" will begin on a certain date. People everywhere are excited.
But at the end he confesses to an adult that the reality is that the sun will explode, and better for people to die with some happy dream in their heads.


Anyone recognize it?

Posted by: Dr. Varno at December 17, 2012 04:16 PM (zJ/hL)

19 It would actually be comforting to think that that was his motivation. Imagining he had thoughts evil enough to believe those deaths were somehow justified isn't something I care to think about much. All things being equal, its better to think this deranged man thought he could save some innocent children. Both options are insane, one is uglier.

Posted by: James at December 17, 2012 04:16 PM (g4P4n)

20 Interesting question.
Counter-question: If this is a plausible theory, why did he grease himself, instead of "saving" as many as he could until the cops greased him?

Posted by: TheOculists at December 17, 2012 04:16 PM (DzvS7)

21 My theory is a variant of ace's "He's a fucking loser" theory.

Reports, if true, suggest that this freak suffered from a mental disorder that rendered him incapable of feeling. No love. No hate. No pleasure. No pain. He looked around at others who possessed the ability to feel these things, and resented them, and the world.

Perhaps he thought he could deal with his emotional impotence by making others feel the things he could not. If he could not experience these things, perhaps, he deluded himself, if he caused others to experience them - intensely - then attention would be drawn to the unfairness of his deficit.

But because he was such a fantastic loser, he knew he was incapable of engendering good emotions and pleasant feelings: love, joy, pleasure.

So he took the coward's easy path, and decided he could only cause others to experience the emotions and feelings on the other end of the spectrum.

Posted by: angler at December 17, 2012 04:17 PM (SwjAj)

22 18 Dr. Varno

I never read the short story, but I remember it from an episode of Night Gallery in the early 70s.

Posted by: rickl at December 17, 2012 04:18 PM (zoehZ)

23 My fantasy used to be going to the top of the World Trade Center and leaping off just as the SMOD or mushroom cloud appeared. I figured I'd be vaporized before I hit the ground. Obviously this was before 9/11/01.

Unfortunately I can only think of the Jews waiting to be shot at Babi Yar or gassed in Auschwitz to try and relate to this concept.

Sorry to be depressive.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at December 17, 2012 04:18 PM (XkWWK)

24 Hit up my End 'o' the World super-secret porno stash.

Posted by: eleven at December 17, 2012 04:18 PM (KXm42)

25 There are some movies on the topic. Melancholia, and Finding a Friend at the End of the World.

Posted by: boulder hobo at December 17, 2012 04:19 PM (Gp+Ph)

26 re: "Anyone recognize it?"

"The Boy who Predicted Earthquakes." I don't know who it was originally written by; I know it as an episode of Rod Serling's Night Gallery.

Posted by: oblig. at December 17, 2012 04:19 PM (cePv8)

27 One thing I'd do is respect each individual's right to choose their own end.

Posted by: Invictus at December 17, 2012 04:20 PM (OQpzc)

28
What alot of nonsense.You cannot make order from disorder or good from evil.
Your daughters story is one that has been done exhaustively in SF.
As a RC, I tell you that we won't know the time or the place of our definitive encounter with God theFather. Even Christ said that was knowledge was reserved for our Father in heaven.

Bad things happen to good people.
My advice? Pray constantly, mortify and ready yourself. If you are a RC, get to confession, attend Mass and partake in Holy Communion.
Another bit of advice. The end if the world is happening every single day.

Posted by: keithp at December 17, 2012 04:21 PM (kduZC)

29 Going out like Edward G. Robinson at the very end of "Soylent Green."

The less attractive alternative is Frankie Pentangeli in "Godfather Part 2."

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at December 17, 2012 04:21 PM (XkWWK)

30 BTW, stuiec, you might enjoy "Stars, Won't You Hide Me?" by Ben Bova. It's the last short story in this PDF: http://tinyurl.com/d8cf7yb

Posted by: GalosGann at December 17, 2012 04:21 PM (T3KlW)

31
Since we'tre digging up EOW short stories, I read one about where a solar flare was going to destroy the surface, but you had a chance if you could get a pass into a cavern of some kind...a guy gets 2 passes and gives them to his kids.

Anyone?

Posted by: USS Diversity at December 17, 2012 04:22 PM (MPjT8)

32 Pick your favorite leftist and give yourself a week or so before the end.

IYKWIMAITYD

Also, laugh at the Muzzies!

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at December 17, 2012 04:23 PM (XkWWK)

33 "what would you do"/
Offer pennies on the dollar to the suckers for their property.

Posted by: meleager at December 17, 2012 04:23 PM (jXK48)

34 >>>If you are a RC, get to confession, attend Mass and partake in Holy Communion.

Last rites would also be appropriate if you have *ahem* set the date.

Posted by: MikeTheMoose is Shrugging at December 17, 2012 04:23 PM (0q2P7)

35


The brain is capable of any thought.

Posted by: frozen beach at December 17, 2012 04:23 PM (LpQbZ)

36 "When Worlds Collide."

How is it that the Earth gets destroyed but not the new planet? I forgot the plot.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at December 17, 2012 04:24 PM (XkWWK)

37

He shot his mother 4 times in the face.
This seems to imply a rage, moreso than an act to spare her of any perceived impending doom.

He pumped between 3 and 11 shots into the little kids.
This also seems more like rage, than an act of any sort of compassion.

Posted by: wheatie at December 17, 2012 04:24 PM (K4wCe)

38 Two chicks at the same time, man.

Posted by: supercore23 at December 17, 2012 04:24 PM (bwV72)

39 Good food, good whiskey and good company.

Posted by: ontherocks at December 17, 2012 04:24 PM (aZ6ew)

40 Offer pennies on the dollar to the suckers for their property.
Posted by: meleager at December 17, 2012 04:23 PM (jXK4



Ah, the Buffet Rule.

Posted by: frozen beach at December 17, 2012 04:25 PM (LpQbZ)

41 "The Boy who Predicted Earthquakes."

Yes, that sounds like it. Never knew it was a Night Gallery episode though.
thanks.

Posted by: Dr. Varno at December 17, 2012 04:25 PM (zJ/hL)

42 If I knew a comet was about to wipe out the Earth, and I knew where it was going to hit, I would go there on the day and try to get some good photos

Posted by: Jones in CO at December 17, 2012 04:26 PM (8sCoq)

43
"Just remember that you're standing on a planet that's evolving
And revolving at nine hundred miles an hour,
That's orbiting at nineteen miles a second, so it's reckoned,
A sun that is the source of all our power.
The sun and you and me and all the stars that we can see
Are moving at a million miles a day
In an outer spiral arm, at forty thousand miles an hour,
Of the galaxy we call the 'Milky Way'.
Our galaxy itself contains a hundred billion stars.
It's a hundred thousand light years side to side.
It bulges in the middle, sixteen thousand light years thick,
But out by us, it's just three thousand light years wide.
We're thirty thousand light years from galactic central point.
We go 'round every two hundred million years,
And our galaxy is only one of millions of billions
In this amazing and expanding universe.

The universe itself keeps on expanding and expanding
In all of the directions it can whizz
As fast as it can go, at the speed of light, you know,
Twelve million miles a minute, and that's the fastest speed there is.
So remember, when you're feeling very small and insecure,
How amazingly unlikely is your birth,
And pray that there's intelligent life somewhere up in space,
'Cause there's bugger all down here on Earth."

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at December 17, 2012 04:26 PM (XkWWK)

44 something something do not go gentle into that good night something something.

I'd want to hang around and pick off a few rapers and pillagers if possible. And as the AoS Style Guide reminds us,

Rape, then kill.
Pillage, then burn.

Order is important.

Posted by: GnuBreed at December 17, 2012 04:27 PM (ccXZP)

45
Two chicks at the same time, man.

You don't need the end of the world for that.

The kinda chicks that'd double down on a guy like me would.

Posted by: USS Diversity at December 17, 2012 04:27 PM (MPjT8)

46 I think this is a plausible enough theory except the minister of the family of the only little one who survived in her classroom says the guy was very mad.


The pic of the young man reminds me very much of my husband's youngest nephew. He's a low functioning Aspy, although with a very low IQ. (Mind you, he can type 135 words a minute and has almost total recall of every fact ever known about Power Rangers) He's 30 now, going on about 15 mentally.

He's very gentle, but throws a really terrifying fit about every two years. I can't imagine what having a child who was constantly angry must be like, especially since it seems to me the anger is directed most often at people they know well, ie, they act more normal around doctors, counselors, etc.

Posted by: Tammy al-Thor at December 17, 2012 04:28 PM (wdyFA)

47

Knowing the world was ending?



The earth should throw one big ass party.

Posted by: frozen beach at December 17, 2012 04:28 PM (LpQbZ)

48 42 If I knew a comet was about to wipe out the Earth, and I knew where it was going to hit, I would go there on the day and try to get some good photos
Posted by: Jones in CO at December 17, 2012 04:26 PM (8sCoq)


"WORLD ENDS AT 6:00.

FILM AT 11:00"

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at December 17, 2012 04:28 PM (XkWWK)

49 How is it that the Earth gets destroyed but not the new planet? I forgot the plot.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at December 17, 2012 04:24 PM (XkWWK)


I think both collision planets get destroyed, but they take off for a 3rd planet with a few older folks but mostly young pairs intended to fuck alot and multiply

Posted by: Nevergiveup at December 17, 2012 04:28 PM (79ueO)

50 >>>Yes, that sounds like it. Never knew it was a Night Gallery episode though.


Played by CLINT HOWARD.

lol why am i not surprised?

Posted by: Dr. Varno at December 17, 2012 04:28 PM (zJ/hL)

51 I don't believe this nutjob thought he was saving anybody. He was bonkers, and most likely his mother was bonkers too.

He was having a hard time separating reality from fiction. I suspect this was his way of feeling something real, and it probably worked.

Posted by: BurtTC at December 17, 2012 04:28 PM (TOk1P)

52 Whatever was going to happen, I'd like to think I would meet it head on.
-Khan Style!

Posted by: Cursing with my dying breath at December 17, 2012 04:29 PM (I7O5y)

53
Exactly how is the world going to end next Friday?

Posted by: Walkers! at December 17, 2012 04:29 PM (jWwDJ)

54 47 Knowing the world was ending?
The earth should throw one big ass party.
Posted by: frozen beach at December 17, 2012 04:28 PM (LpQbZ)


The artist formerly known as Prince.
The planet formerly known as Earth.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at December 17, 2012 04:29 PM (XkWWK)

55 >>>How is it that the Earth gets destroyed but not the new planet? I forgot the plot.


Three planets were involved.
1. Earth
2. The planet that hit Earth.
3. Another planet orbiting the same star as the planet that hits Earth, that just miraculously.
a. Will pass close enough to Earth to reach by space craft.
b. Is in the habitatal zone of the star passing near the Sun and has already developed life.
c. Will remain in that zone despite passing close to the Sun which should irreparably alter it's orbit.

Posted by: MikeTheMoose is Shrugging at December 17, 2012 04:29 PM (0q2P7)

56 Sex.... meaning the lack thereof. Same as the Virginia Tech shooter.








Posted by: DiogenesLamp at December 17, 2012 04:29 PM (bb5+k)

57 >>>Not sure, but I'd like to think Eva Green would be involved somehow.
Posted by: Waterhouse

Really? I like her.

Posted by: Walkers! at December 17, 2012 04:30 PM (jWwDJ)

58 History of "The boy who predicted earthquakes" here:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Boy_Who_Predicted_Earthquakes

Posted by: SoCalSteeler at December 17, 2012 04:30 PM (8B6Jf)

59 Three planets were involved.
1. Earth
2. The planet that hit Earth.
3. Another planet orbiting the same star as the planet that hits Earth, that just miraculously.
a. Will pass close enough to Earth to reach by space craft.
b. Is in the habitatal zone of the star passing near the Sun and has already developed life.
c. Will remain in that zone despite passing close to the Sun which should irreparably alter it's orbit.

Posted by: MikeTheMoose is Shrugging at December 17, 2012 04:29 PM (0q2P7)

You forgot to mention the multiply like bunnies part?

Posted by: Nevergiveup at December 17, 2012 04:31 PM (79ueO)

60
37

Agreed the multiples and the fact that he shot himself suggests motivations pretty far removed from anything resembling compassion.

Suicide under some circumstances might arguably be considered a form of bravery. Suicide after the murder of innocents is the ultimate act of horrific self-centric cowardice. His remains should be cremated and disposed of at the county dump.

Posted by: TheOculists at December 17, 2012 04:31 PM (DzvS7)

61 May God bless us, every one

Posted by: Dave at December 17, 2012 04:31 PM (k1A/m)

62 I just recently saw that Night Gallery episode; I wonder if it wasn't part of an ONT link?

Posted by: GnuBreed at December 17, 2012 04:31 PM (ccXZP)

63 >>>How is it that the Earth gets destroyed but not the new planet? I forgot the plot.

Another plot point is the Scientist refuses to take the Industrialist on board the spacecraft the Industrialist funded (With the express intent he would be one of the passengers) pronouncing for his age and disability (he was in a wheel chair) he had no place in the "new world" of youngsters.

Total prog crap of throwing away all old wisdom so the kids can die and kill each other learning it anew.

Posted by: MikeTheMoose is Shrugging at December 17, 2012 04:31 PM (0q2P7)

64 50 Played by CLINT HOWARD.

lol why am i not surprised?
Posted by: Dr. Varno at December 17, 2012 04:28 PM (zJ/hL)

He's the normal brother, right?

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at December 17, 2012 04:31 PM (XkWWK)

65 42 I would go there on the day and try to get some good photos

Bonus alert: Nobody will care if you run out of film - keep shooting.

Posted by: Rob McNeece at December 17, 2012 04:32 PM (YesJa)

66 I would make sure that my friends and family would have access to my firearms so if they wanted to they could take their life quickly.

For the rest that needed help I would tell them to call Barbara Boxer's and Diane Feinstein's phone number.

Posted by: John P. Squibob at December 17, 2012 04:33 PM (CNwvS)

67 60, 37 Posted by: TheOculists at December 17, 2012 04:31 PM (DzvS7)

He only shot himself when the cops came and pointed guns at him. Were it not for that, he would have offed everyone in the building.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at December 17, 2012 04:33 PM (XkWWK)

68 The edge of the known Universe? At near light speed? Have we found the edge of the Universe? Wouldn't it take a billion years to get there at light speed? Inquiring minds who miss the point wanna know.....

Posted by: maddogg at December 17, 2012 04:34 PM (OlN4e)

69 I would gather my family about me, and pray like we had never prayed before. Knowing that we had only a little time, not our whole lives, to be ready to meet God. I would want to inspire my son with my faith, to make him want to meet his maker with grace and peace never throwing life away but cherishing every second of God's gift.
Why wait for the end of the world? Do it now.

Posted by: harleycowboy at December 17, 2012 04:34 PM (wSTfB)

70
46I think this is a plausible enough theory except the minister of the family of the only little one who survived in her classroom says the guy was very mad.

Yeah, Tammy...and there was also that report that the guy was at the school the day before, raging about something.

I don't think this twisted fuck did this out of any 'act of compassion', thinking that the world was going to end.

Posted by: wheatie at December 17, 2012 04:34 PM (K4wCe)

71
I find it offensive that anyone would take what a culture that cracks open people's chests and rips out their beating hearts as fact. The Mayans sucked. Big time. Big time suckers. Their priests would grow their hair down to their ankles and smear blood in it. I'm sure hundreds of bugs were either flying around their heads or stuck to their hair.

Posted by: Walkers! at December 17, 2012 04:34 PM (jWwDJ)

72 BTW, anyone who wants a cute recording of the song JJ quotes in #43 it is on Clint Black's album "D'Lectrified." My kids love that song!

Posted by: rockmom at December 17, 2012 04:34 PM (NYnoe)

73 Exactly how is the world going to end next Friday?

Solar eclipse. Duh!

Posted by: The Aztecs at December 17, 2012 04:35 PM (O6q63)

74 I find it offensive that anyone would take what a culture that cracks open people's chests and rips out their beating hearts as fact.

*ahem*

Posted by: The Aztecs at December 17, 2012 04:36 PM (O6q63)

75 >>>Why wait for the end of the world? Do it now.

Because in the event the world is not going to end, I've got this "toil' directive to follow that puts things like bacon on the table. Not that it is more important, but, it does have to get done just the same. For I was commanded by God to do it.

Posted by: MikeTheMoose is Shrugging at December 17, 2012 04:36 PM (0q2P7)

76 I don't think this twisted fuck did this out of any 'act of compassion', thinking that the world was going to end.

Posted by: wheatie at December 17, 2012 04:34 PM (K4wCe)


I agree. And he was indeed a twisted fuck, but I honestly believe he was seriously mentally ill.

Posted by: Tammy al-Thor at December 17, 2012 04:37 PM (wdyFA)

77 72 Posted by: rockmom at December 17, 2012 04:34 PM (NYnoe)


There's a cover version of Python's "Galaxy Song!?" Wow!

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at December 17, 2012 04:37 PM (XkWWK)

78 Fuck SMOD! Give us Xipe Totec!

Posted by: maddogg at December 17, 2012 04:37 PM (OlN4e)

79 71 71
I find it offensive that anyone would take what a culture that cracks open people's chests and rips out their beating hearts as fact. The Mayans sucked. Big time. Big time suckers. Their priests would grow their hair down to their ankles and smear blood in it. I'm sure hundreds of bugs were either flying around their heads or stuck to their hair.
Posted by: Walkers! at December 17, 2012 04:34 PM (jWwDJ)

At last! Someone has defined "moderate Islam!"

Thank you!

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at December 17, 2012 04:38 PM (XkWWK)

80 Bayonets cause autism.

Posted by: Entropy at December 17, 2012 04:39 PM (TULs6)

81 The edge of the known Universe? At near light speed? Have we found the edge of the Universe?

There are supposedly photos of galaxies at the edge of the universe that are in a primitive state due to the distance that the light has traveled. But since things were a lot closer together back then I'm not sure whether that edge of the universe can represent the real edge of the universe. That Stephen Hawking shit just confuses the hell out of me.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at December 17, 2012 04:39 PM (QKKT0)

82 67

Exactlyl. These do not seem to be actions of a compassionate type. They seem to be completely self-centric. He denied superiority by the cops, just as he denied that poor little town any sort of justice. And, as you point out, kept on with it right up until the very.last.moment he could get away with it.




Posted by: TheOculists at December 17, 2012 04:39 PM (DzvS7)

83 80 Bayonets cause autism.
Posted by: Entropy at December 17, 2012 04:39 PM (TULs6)


Jenny McCarthy causes bayonets.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at December 17, 2012 04:39 PM (XkWWK)

84 Gun Prosecutions Under Obama Down Over 40%…

Well ya probably can't be prosecuting illegal aliens now can ya?

Posted by: Nevergiveup at December 17, 2012 04:39 PM (79ueO)

85 Solar eclipse. Duh!

Posted by: The Aztecs at December 17, 2012 04:35 PM (O6q63)


Into the barrel!

Posted by: Cortes and 300 Spaniards at December 17, 2012 04:40 PM (QKKT0)

86
If the Mayans were so good a their predictions...then why didn't they foresee their own demise and do something to prevent it?

Posted by: wheatie at December 17, 2012 04:40 PM (K4wCe)

87 Going out like Edward G. Robinson at the very end of "Soylent Green."


I would change it so that instead of classical music and images of nature, there would be Kate Upton to give me my "guaranteed" 20 minutes.

Posted by: EC at December 17, 2012 04:40 PM (GQ8sn)

88 Every night during fall and winter I look up to see if Betelgeuse finally went boom. Not because I want the end of the world, and it wouldn't have any effect being 700 light years away anyway, but the sight would be incredible.

We have gone 400 years since the last naked-eye supernova in our own galaxy.

Posted by: CAC at December 17, 2012 04:40 PM (C1VgZ)

89 I'd hunt Megan McCain down like Dog the Bounty Hunter to a crack head, just to feel-up her boobehs and call her a bad little-dirty-Rino-whore.

Posted by: dananjcon at December 17, 2012 04:40 PM (jvd3N)

90 If the Mayans were so good a their predictions...then why didn't they foresee their own demise and do something to prevent it?
Posted by: wheatie at December 17, 2012 04:40 PM (K4wCe)

We all seem to be wishing for SMOD, so what's you point again?

Posted by: Nevergiveup at December 17, 2012 04:41 PM (79ueO)

91 "Melancholia" was pretty close to what I think people would do----be in denial until the end.

Posted by: farmersusie at December 17, 2012 04:41 PM (9zugO)

92 Going toanEnd of the World party Friday. The invitation said if the Myans are right, we die among friends, if not we all have hangovers. 5 of us are planning on using the dd for the ride home.

Doesn't matter one way or the other, there is nothing we can do to change it. Now the gov't is another conversation.

Posted by: Infidel at December 17, 2012 04:41 PM (z/wx3)

93 "Melancholia" was pretty close to what I think people would do----be in denial until the end.

Haven't seen it, but people were freaking out and then the other planet "missed" earth, only to have it come back and hit at the very end.

Wow, what a tease.

Posted by: EC at December 17, 2012 04:42 PM (GQ8sn)

94 If the Mayans were so good a their predictions...then why didn't they foresee their own demise and do something to prevent it?


We foresaw the Conquistadors and decided to pack it in early.

Posted by: The Mayans at December 17, 2012 04:42 PM (QKKT0)

95 I would find Rosie O'Donnell and show her exactly how fire can melt steel.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at December 17, 2012 04:42 PM (XkWWK)

96 Well, much like the Jews at Masada? They knew their world was going to end once the Romans breached the wall. I couldn't take their way out. Bacon Booze works.

Posted by: Paladin at December 17, 2012 04:43 PM (lP8dE)

97 74
I find it offensive that anyone would take what a culture that cracks
open people's chests and rips out their beating hearts as fact.


*ahem*

Posted by: The Aztecs at December 17, 2012 04:36 PM (O6q63)
**Ahem**Ahem**

Posted by: Planned Parent Hood at December 17, 2012 04:43 PM (jvd3N)

98
Anyone recognize it?

Posted by: Dr. Varno at December 17, 2012 04:16 PM (zJ/hL)

I have definitely read that story and I am thinking either Asimov or Philip K. Dick.

Posted by: WalrusRex at December 17, 2012 04:43 PM (XUKZU)

99 I'd hunt Megan McCain down like Dog the Bounty Hunter to a crack head, just to feel-up her boobehs and call her a bad little-dirty-Rino-whore.

Posted by: dananjcon at December 17, 2012 04:40 PM (jvd3N)

I'd be looking for Mary-Jane Rottencrotch

Posted by: Nevergiveup at December 17, 2012 04:43 PM (79ueO)

100 I would ban McDonalds because maybe if you fatasses had less mass the asteroid would miss.

Posted by: Entropy at December 17, 2012 04:44 PM (TULs6)

101 I'm going to a Christmas party at Nakatomi Towers.

I hear it's gonna be a blast.

Posted by: Dr. Varno at December 17, 2012 04:44 PM (zJ/hL)

102 I think the Mayans helped the Spaniards conquer the Aztecs. The Azies had a lot of enemies and the various tribes banned together to kick some Montezuma ass!

Posted by: Walkers! at December 17, 2012 04:44 PM (jWwDJ)

103 If I knew the world were ending? I get down on my knees and thank
God I wasn't a woman or a minority because they are always hardest hit.

Posted by: WalrusRex at December 17, 2012 04:44 PM (XUKZU)

104
Posted by: CAC at December 17, 2012 04:40 PM (C1VgZ)




It went *POP* yesterday. Prove me a liar!

Posted by: maddogg at December 17, 2012 04:44 PM (OlN4e)

105
82 67

Exactlyl. These do not seem to be actions of a compassionate type. They seem to be completely self-centric. He denied superiority by the cops, just as he denied that poor little town any sort of justice. And, as you point out, kept on with it right up until the very.last.moment he could get away with it.

---------

Yep.
He apparently brought lots of ammo with him and planned to take out as many as he could.

Posted by: wheatie at December 17, 2012 04:45 PM (K4wCe)

106 Three planets were involved.
1. Earth
2. The planet that hit Earth.
3. Another planet orbiting the same star as the planet that hits Earth, that just miraculously.
a. Will pass close enough to Earth to reach by space craft.
b. Is in the habitatal zone of the star passing near the Sun and has already developed life.
c. Will remain in that zone despite passing close to the Sun which should irreparably alter it's orbit.

Posted by: MikeTheMoose is Shrugging at December 17, 2012 04:29 PM (0q2P7)




Sounds like a Slick Willie story.

Posted by: frozen beach at December 17, 2012 04:45 PM (LpQbZ)

107 David Bowie explored this issue in the song "Five Years" on the album Ziggy Stardust.
What would I do? I'd finally tell that hot Chinese woman who works down the hall that I'd like to FHBO.

Posted by: Pervy Grin at December 17, 2012 04:45 PM (OxKj2)

108 103 If I knew the world were ending? I get down on my knees and thank
God I wasn't a woman or a minority because they are always hardest hit.
Posted by: WalrusRex at December 17, 2012 04:44 PM (XUKZU)

Thread winner nominee.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at December 17, 2012 04:45 PM (XkWWK)

109 I'd fuck Andrea Mitchell.

Posted by: Alan Greenspan at December 17, 2012 04:45 PM (gCa4h)

110 #93 If you fast forward through the middle part of the movie (where they linger on Kirsten Dunst's emotional problems), then it's a pretty entertaining 90 minutes. The opening 5 minutes are killer.

Posted by: farmersusie at December 17, 2012 04:45 PM (9zugO)

111 To answer the question about the CERTAIN end date, I think most sane adults would spend much of the time left bargaining. It would be a rational task, one that requires a great deal of thought process.

There is a particular tv show on these days that explores something of a similar theme. Recently a main character died, after having spent much of the last couple seasons questioning the point of it all. The last moment of this character's life was a sacrifice for someone else. It was very moving.

Contrast that character with a young person on the show, who one year ago was about as innocent as possible. Today this character is the most focused, concentrated and lethal force.

I think the way they have unfolded this story is masterful and very thought provoking. Those of you who know the show (and some of you do) will know I'm trying to avoid spoilers, and I hope those of you who don't will forgive my vagueness.

Posted by: BurtTC at December 17, 2012 04:45 PM (TOk1P)

112 I'd be looking for Mary-Jane Rottencrotch

Posted by: Nevergiveup at December 17, 2012 04:43 PM (79ueO)

Aaah...pink panties and all.

Posted by: dananjcon at December 17, 2012 04:45 PM (jvd3N)

113 I'm going to a Christmas party at Nakatomi Towers. I hear it's gonna be a blast.


I laughed out loud.

*golf clap*

Posted by: Infidel at December 17, 2012 04:46 PM (z/wx3)

114 How many more bullshit Dooms Day predictions are left after this one? Isn't this the last one?

Posted by: cajun carrot at December 17, 2012 04:47 PM (UZQM8)

115 I'd fuck Andrea Mitchell.


Posted by: Alan Greenspan at December 17, 2012 04:45 PM (gCa4h)


Get in line, pal.

Posted by: Rosie O'Donnell at December 17, 2012 04:47 PM (QKKT0)

116

I would ban McDonalds because maybe if you fatasses had less mass the asteroid would miss.
Posted by: Entropy at December 17, 2012 04:44 PM (TULs6)


hehe


Just launch Michael Moore out to space.

That oughta balance us up.

Posted by: frozen beach at December 17, 2012 04:47 PM (LpQbZ)

117 103
If I knew the world were ending? I get down on my knees and thank
God I wasn't a woman or a minority because they are always hardest hit.


Posted by: WalrusRex at December 17, 2012 04:44 PM (XUKZU)
**Heheh...hardy guffaw and chuckle.

Posted by: dananjcon at December 17, 2012 04:47 PM (jvd3N)

118 If the Mayans were so good a their predictions...then why didn't they foresee their own demise and do something to prevent it?
Posted by: wheatie at December 17, 2012 04:40 PM (K4wCe)

What makes you think they didn't find a way out?

Posted by: Invictus at December 17, 2012 04:47 PM (OQpzc)

119 Her story was in the form of diary entries by a woman alone in a space capsule, traveling at near-lightspeed to the edge of the physical Universe (beyond which she imagines God to reside) so that she can confront Him

I swear this has been done before. A short story I think.

Posted by: toby928© Person of Pallor at December 17, 2012 04:47 PM (QupBk)

120 I'd blow Obama.

Again.

Posted by: Chris Matthews at December 17, 2012 04:47 PM (gCa4h)

121 I would drive to Colorado and watch the sun rise and set in some nice remote spot every day until the final day. Then I would blow my brains out.

Posted by: jewells45 at December 17, 2012 04:48 PM (l/N7H)

122 I swear this has been done before. A short story I think.

so what? Harry Potter was a complete ripoff of Gaiman's The Books of Magic and no one cares.

this idea is probably far more different than that short story than Harry was from the young wizard in those books.

Posted by: BlackOrchid-StillMissingDagny at December 17, 2012 04:48 PM (J6kXj)

123 Procol Harum's "Conquistador." Haven't heard that one in a long time.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at December 17, 2012 04:48 PM (XkWWK)

124
Just launch Michael Moore out to space.





I don't thing the entire budget of the US would be enough to launch that much lard into space.

Posted by: maddogg at December 17, 2012 04:48 PM (OlN4e)

125 I'd prolly try to get my hands on a good supply of Xanax.

......to fund my eating and drinking spree.

Posted by: ontherocks at December 17, 2012 04:49 PM (aZ6ew)

126 I would do every drug known to mankind.

and also drink the finest wines known to mankind

essentially I'd live out Withnail and I for a week

Posted by: BlackOrchid-StillMissingDagny at December 17, 2012 04:49 PM (J6kXj)

127 Giving myself a couple days to come to a definite conclusion, but I've seen more then a couple of studies that indicate that children in the Asperger/Autism 'spectrum' respond well to treatment which begins shortly after diagnosis. The therapy in many ways mimics what loving, caring parents would provide to their child if they were available every day and didn't have bone-crushing debt and the need to generate enough income not only for themselves, but to carry just about half the population on their backs.

I expect the liberal media to begin to cover this issue, because it is of such momentous importance.

Posted by: Regular Moron at December 17, 2012 04:49 PM (feFL6)

128 Blech. Depressing topic. I am going to wrap Christmas presents.

Posted by: Miss Marple at December 17, 2012 04:49 PM (GoIUi)

129 114
How many more bullshit Dooms Day predictions are left after this one? Isn't this the last one?

Posted by: cajun carrot at December 17, 2012 04:47 PM (UZQM
**
Isaac Newton said 2060 is the REAL end...really. No joke this time. For real.

Posted by: dananjcon at December 17, 2012 04:49 PM (jvd3N)

130 End of the world scenarios are racist.

Posted by: Toure at December 17, 2012 04:49 PM (gCa4h)

131 >>>121 I would drive to Colorado and watch the sun rise and set in some nice remote spot every day until the final day. Then I would blow my brains out.
Posted by: jewells45

Don't. Because if the world didn't end, you'll leave a mess for some poor park ranger, not that I have any love for park rangers, but people often go to places of beauty and leave a big fucking mess.

Posted by: Walkers! at December 17, 2012 04:50 PM (jWwDJ)

132 After this one, there's Isaac Newton's calculation of 2060.

Also there's some nerd y2k thingie going on in 2038.

Posted by: boulder hobo at December 17, 2012 04:50 PM (Gp+Ph)

133 I would drive to Colorado and watch the sun rise and set in some nice remote spot every day until the final day. Then I would blow my brains out.
Posted by: jewells45 at December 17, 2012 04:48 PM (l/N7H)



I would take War of the Worlds into consideration first.

Posted by: frozen beach at December 17, 2012 04:50 PM (LpQbZ)

134 124 Posted by: maddogg at December 17, 2012 04:48 PM (OlN4e)


Somehow, I don't think Reagan had Michael Moore in mind when he talked about a "peace shield." Although, he is about the right size and girth.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at December 17, 2012 04:50 PM (XkWWK)

135 Stop it. Just fucking stop. These deranged anti-heroes get off on the idea that people will be having discussions like this about them after they’re gone. They go out to hurt and maim and kill innocent people so that they can have their 15 minutes of fame. I urge all members of the Moron Nation to refuse to take part in this navel-gazing bullshit and not give this “dark hero” the recognition that he thought he deserved, and in the process groom the next “dark hero” waiting in line.

If I had my way, we wouldn’t even know this piece of shit’s name. I have no desire to know it. When you run into a rabid dog in the woods, you put a bullet in its head and bury it anonymously in the woods somewhere. That is all this man deserves – an anonymous grave somewhere and a purging of the histories of his having even existed.

If we promise the future “dark heroes” that this is exactly what they’ll get, these shootings will stop. If we continue to spin narratives like the drivel above, and have conversations about it for the next shithead to read and see, we’re simply guaranteeing a re-run of Friday’s tragedy over and over again.

I, for one, won’t take part.

Posted by: Goober at December 17, 2012 04:50 PM (QvJr9)

136 Blech. Depressing topic. I am going to wrap Christmas presents.


Posted by: Miss Marple at December 17, 2012 04:49 PM (GoIUi)

Hope you kept the receipts.

Posted by: The Mayans at December 17, 2012 04:50 PM (QKKT0)

137 Today's top Shorpy is the children of the Egyptian ambassador with a Christmas tree.

http://is.gd/cT9w1U

Posted by: Vic at December 17, 2012 04:50 PM (53z96)

138 Considering the killer was taking drugs for schizophrenia, this scenario might actually be quite likely.


As for me. There's nothing I would do. Maybe get a bunch of junk food, let the kids watch all the Dora they want, and pray.

Posted by: Lauren at December 17, 2012 04:50 PM (wsGWu)

139 Procol Harum's "Conquistador." Haven't heard that one in a long time.

Funny, I may have linked to that on the ONT a few weeks ago. I love procol harum.

Posted by: Infidel at December 17, 2012 04:51 PM (z/wx3)

140
All I know is that SMOD flew by last week and didn't so much as say "Hi".

SMOD has forsaken us.

Posted by: Guy Mohawk at December 17, 2012 04:51 PM (n/ubI)

141 Anybody see that film called The Rapture? It was pretty good.

Posted by: Walkers! at December 17, 2012 04:51 PM (jWwDJ)

142 What would I do? As a realist I would guess; nothing that I planed on doing in that situation.

Posted by: walknot at December 17, 2012 04:51 PM (vo2je)

143 About the original subject: "What if you Knew? Really KNEW?"

Some have mentioned "Seeking a Friend for the End of the World." Anyone else here see 1999's "Last Night," by Don McKellar? Set in Toronto, hours before an unspecified cataclysm (known of for some months).

The atmosphere is mostly that of a deranged New Year's celebration. A DJ counts down the 500 greatest hits of all time. A compulsive gas company executive is personally phoning all his clients to thank them for their business and assure them that service will continue through the very end. Some commit murder just to know what it feels like. One fellow is trying to try every sex act he's never done, with every woman he ever wanted, plus strangers. A husband and wife have made a suicide pact to cheat the reaper, and one miserable widower wants to be left alone.

Posted by: JPS at December 17, 2012 04:52 PM (YyAWS)

144 SMOD has forsaken us.
Posted by: Guy Mohawk at December 17, 2012 04:51 PM (n/ubI)


A lot of that going around the last 5 years

Posted by: Nevergiveup at December 17, 2012 04:52 PM (79ueO)

145 I would sit in my bathtub with a glass of white wine and my friend, Mr. Ducky.

Posted by: Keith Olbermann at December 17, 2012 04:52 PM (gCa4h)

146 Walkers! am glad Im' not the only one thinking about the Rapture

maybe it's just not all at once, kwim?

the children and innocents go bit by bit

Posted by: BlackOrchid-StillMissingDagny at December 17, 2012 04:52 PM (J6kXj)

147 I would plant a tree.
_

Posted by: Martin Luther at December 17, 2012 04:52 PM (RuUvx)

148 Weather idiots predicted 70 here today. The high was actually 59.9.



More of that globull warming.

Posted by: Vic at December 17, 2012 04:52 PM (53z96)

149 71 Their priests would grow their hair down to their ankles and smear blood in it.
Dude it really is all about the hairstyle with you people, isn't it.

119 If you fast forward through the middle part of Kirsten Dunst, then it's a pretty
entertaining 5 minutes.


I already wrote the Ace-length revue of this steamer. Tl;dr. So, I fixed it for you.

Posted by: comatus at December 17, 2012 04:53 PM (qaVK+)

150 140 -

Heh, I was thinking the same thing... not even a gentle breeze from the fly-by?

Posted by: BurtTC at December 17, 2012 04:53 PM (TOk1P)

151 I nearly got raptured myself last week, picking up a tractor tire.....

Posted by: maddogg at December 17, 2012 04:53 PM (OlN4e)

152 I'd spend the time getting right with God, praying, and being with my family.
And I'd eat all the fattening things I love, as much as I wanted. Homemade cookies, doughnuts, pastries, and really good French bread with lots and lots of butter. Kahlua milkshakes. Edwards (Virginia) sausage and lasagna and waffles and steak and butter-soaked lobster. And my world-famous arroz-con-pollo and my MIL's chicken tetrazzini and my mother's empanadas. And a big fat cheeseburger and a BLT with lots of bacon and mayonnaise.


Posted by: Margarita DeVille at December 17, 2012 04:53 PM (C8mVl)

153 So the gun ban will be modeled on the CA gun ban. I don't know enough of the ins and outs of this. What exactly isn't legal in CA today? I assume you can still buy some guns right? So where's the dividing line and how exactly does that affect people on a day to day basis?


Posted by: Mr. Moo Moo at December 17, 2012 04:53 PM (HDgX3)

154 If I knew, really knew?


I'd buy a first class ticket to NYC (not on Delta) and pay a visit to MSDNC. I'd then proceed to bitch-slap Chrissy, Madcow, Crazy Ed, Draft-Dodging O'Donnell, Mika, Joe Scarborough, etc., etc., etc.

Then I'd fly home and spend what was left of my time with my husband, son, and good friends.

Posted by: Jane D'oh, Life Coach at December 17, 2012 04:54 PM (UOM48)

155 >>>146 Walkers! am glad Im' not the only one thinking about the Rapture
maybe it's just not all at once, kwim?
the children and innocents go bit by bit
Posted by: BlackOrchid-StillMissingDagny

Do you mean the movie? Because I'm an atheist. I saw the film in the middle of the night and it certainly kept my interest. I felt sorry for her.

Posted by: Walkers! at December 17, 2012 04:54 PM (jWwDJ)

156 I would fuck Keith Olbermann

Posted by: Rachel Maddow at December 17, 2012 04:54 PM (gCa4h)

157 Today's top Shorpy is the children of the Egyptian ambassador with a Christmas tree.

Ooohhhh, I love the Mary Janes. My how the world has changed,

Posted by: Infidel at December 17, 2012 04:54 PM (z/wx3)

158
118 If the Mayans were so good a their predictions...then why didn't they foresee their own demise and do something to prevent it?
Posted by: wheatie at December 17, 2012 04:40 PM (K4wCe)



What makes you think they didn't find a way out?

Posted by: Invictus at December 17, 2012 04:47 PM (OQpzc)

-----------

They abandoned all that prime real estate that they had spent centuries building up? ....To go live in the jungle?
The buildings are still there, and weren't destroyed.

I dunno, it just doesn't make sense that they 'found a way out'.

The thing that makes the most sense...is that the people ran off to escape their bat-shit crazy leaders and priests.

Which is something that those same priests should've foreseen...if they were so good at making predictions.

Posted by: wheatie at December 17, 2012 04:54 PM (K4wCe)

159 Blech. Depressing topic. I am going to wrap Christmas presents.
Posted by: Miss Marple at December 17, 2012 04:49 PM (GoIUi)

Hope you kept the receipts.

Posted by: The Mayans at December 17, 2012 04:50 PM (QKKT0)



Ahahaha!

Posted by: frozen beach at December 17, 2012 04:55 PM (LpQbZ)

160

query:

Are all evil-doers mentally ill?

Posted by: soothsayer at December 17, 2012 04:55 PM (NLH1M)

161 Posted by: Jane D'oh, Life Coach at December 17, 2012 04:54 PM (UOM4

You'd just bitch slap them??

Posted by: CDR M at December 17, 2012 04:55 PM (Mv/2X)

162 I am not sure it is really productive trying to understand irrational motives. I mean, if you could REALLY understand, wouldn't that make you irrational?

Posted by: doug at December 17, 2012 04:56 PM (jCwj+)

163 Some more cheary subject, the first thread kittehs

today’s Christmas Kitteh

http://is.gd/QUhsIO

Posted by: Vic at December 17, 2012 04:56 PM (53z96)

164 Start a blog.

I've always wanted to experience the thrill of having a blog.
_

Posted by: BumperStickerist at December 17, 2012 04:56 PM (RuUvx)

165 I would relax... I would sit on my ass all day... I would do nothing.

Posted by: cajun carrot at December 17, 2012 04:56 PM (UZQM8)

166 Do you mean the movie? Because I'm an atheist.

yes I mean the movie, its very good.

but even mentioning or thinking about that film - I mean the main character was an atheist too. didn't much matter tho.

I remain agnostic re: such things. Am open to surprises.

Posted by: BlackOrchid-StillMissingDagny at December 17, 2012 04:57 PM (J6kXj)

167 I would visit every church in town and spend the last days in prayer and fasting.


Posted by: Al at December 17, 2012 04:57 PM (V70Uh)

168 >>More of that globull warming.


Posted by: Vic at December 17, 2012 04:52 PM (53z96)

I got 7'' of snow.Plow is scraping the dirt road in front of the house as I tap this out.

Posted by: ontherocks at December 17, 2012 04:57 PM (aZ6ew)

169 Merry Christmas.... It's depressing enough realizing that we have obama for another 4 years....enough of the doom and gloom.... go hug a Family member or something...

Posted by: Hello, it's me Donna let it burn really.really bummed at December 17, 2012 04:57 PM (9+ccr)

170 Posted by: Vic at December 17, 2012 04:56 PM (53z96)


Fuckin kittehs... how do they work?

Posted by: cajun carrot at December 17, 2012 04:57 PM (UZQM8)

171 I would buy 30 minutes of air-time on Fox News and repeatedly bitch-slap Karl Rove.

Posted by: Mitt Romney at December 17, 2012 04:57 PM (gCa4h)

172 The thing that makes the most sense...is that the people ran off to escape their bat-shit crazy leaders and priests.

If only the Buddhist Monks in SE Asia were so lucky.

Posted by: frozen beach at December 17, 2012 04:57 PM (LpQbZ)

173 Start a blog.

I've always wanted to experience the thrill of having a blog.
_
Posted by: BumperStickerist at December 17, 2012 04:56 PM (RuUvx)

No need. Just hijack this one. I mean with the Boss away and all.....

Posted by: Nevergiveup at December 17, 2012 04:57 PM (79ueO)

174 161
Posted by: Jane D'oh, Life Coach at December 17, 2012 04:54 PM (UOM4


You'd just bitch slap them??


Posted by: CDR M at December 17, 2012 04:55 PM (Mv/2X



Well, I'd try not to get myself a first class ticket straight to hell. Heh.

Posted by: Jane D'oh, Life Coach at December 17, 2012 04:57 PM (UOM48)

175 I'd make sure I have on clean underwear.

Posted by: dananjcon at December 17, 2012 04:58 PM (jvd3N)

176 171
I would buy 30 minutes of air-time on Fox News and repeatedly bitch-slap Karl Rove.


Posted by: Mitt Romney at December 17, 2012 04:57 PM (gCa4h)

________________
LOLed literally.Well done.

Posted by: Mr. Moo Moo at December 17, 2012 04:58 PM (HDgX3)

177 2 plowings today = $44

....so far

Posted by: ontherocks at December 17, 2012 04:58 PM (aZ6ew)

178 I want a T-shirt that says...

12-21-2012, the World Ended, and all I got was this Lousy T-shirt.....

Posted by: Romeo13 at December 17, 2012 04:58 PM (lZBBB)

179 Hit a manatee, with a dolphin.
_

Posted by: BumperStickerist at December 17, 2012 04:59 PM (RuUvx)

180 175I'd make sure I have on clean underwear.
Posted by: dananjcon at December 17, 2012 04:58 PM (jvd3N) Be sure to check your socks for holes too.

Posted by: maddogg at December 17, 2012 04:59 PM (OlN4e)

181 173
Start a blog.



I've always wanted to experience the thrill of having a blog.

_

Posted by: BumperStickerist at December 17, 2012 04:56 PM (RuUvx)

*

I know this guy Allen that can help you with that. He has a blog.

Posted by: dananjcon at December 17, 2012 04:59 PM (jvd3N)

182 May a 1000 Ruby Ridges bloom if they attempt to revoke the 2nd Amendment by congressional and executive fiat.

Posted by: General Woundwort at December 17, 2012 04:59 PM (RrD4h)

183 >>>yes I mean the movie, its very good.

but even mentioning or thinking about that film - I mean the main character was an atheist too. didn't much matter tho.

I remain agnostic re: such things. Am open to surprises. Posted by: BlackOrchid-StillMissingDagny

She lost her belief in God when her husband was murdered and God told her to sacrifice her son. (I never liked that Biblical story.) Anyway, it looked like she was left alone on a barren and dark planet.

Posted by: Walkers! at December 17, 2012 04:59 PM (jWwDJ)

184 I would grab Mika by the hair, force her empty head under the desk and stick my...

well, you get the picture...

Posted by: Joe Scarborough at December 17, 2012 05:00 PM (gCa4h)

185 Stuiec, congrats. Memphis huh? In Jackson, MS need some Horse support?

Larry Niven - Inconstant Moon
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Inconstant_Moon

And thanks to stuiec, I am now looking at a story idea I have left alone that kinda deals with what he is talking about. Yeah another story to work on.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at December 17, 2012 05:00 PM (+k/kq)

186 NY TIMES would blame the apocalypse on Republicans. That much I know.

Posted by: Mr. Moo Moo at December 17, 2012 05:00 PM (HDgX3)

187 What If You Knew? Really KNEW?


So long, and thanks for all the fish...

Posted by: cajun carrot at December 17, 2012 05:01 PM (UZQM8)

188 Are all evil-doers mentally ill?

Some are just entrepreneurs.

Posted by: toby928© Person of Pallor at December 17, 2012 05:01 PM (QupBk)

189 180
175I'd make sure I have on clean underwear.
Posted by: dananjcon at December 17, 2012 04:58 PM (jvd3N) Be sure to check your socks for holes too.

Posted by: maddogg at December 17, 2012 04:59 PM (OlN4e)

**Oh yeah, no doubt. No sense in cross into another realm dressed like a slob. I imagine first impressions count for something in the afterlife as well.

Posted by: dananjcon at December 17, 2012 05:01 PM (jvd3N)

190 Pluses to going to Hell:

Interesting people

Chance to kick some people in the nuts (adolph, i'm looking at you!)

Posted by: Walkers! at December 17, 2012 05:01 PM (jWwDJ)

191 >I mean, if you could REALLY understand, wouldn't that make you irrational?

Posted by: doug at December 17, 2012 04:56 PM (jCwj+)

Exactly...."Oh, that's why he killed everybody in the room? Okay, now I get it."

Posted by: Jones in CO at December 17, 2012 05:01 PM (8sCoq)

192 Pee in a YMCA swimming pool, with neither shame nor concern.

Posted by: BumperStickerist at December 17, 2012 05:01 PM (RuUvx)

193 I'd go to the zoo and herd all the animals- polar bears, zebras, snakes, penguins, everything- in the same pen and let them have a battle royale until only one was left standing.

Then I'd cook and eat him.

Posted by: Hollowpoint at December 17, 2012 05:01 PM (SY2Kh)

194 OK I don't get the Mika thing. She's FUGLY as fuck. I know I'm in the minority here, but I just don't get it.

Posted by: Mr. Moo Moo at December 17, 2012 05:01 PM (HDgX3)

195 186
NY TIMES would blame the apocalypse on Republicans. That much I know.




That's okay. We'll eat the NY TIMES jackasses first.

Posted by: Zombies at December 17, 2012 05:02 PM (UOM48)

196 *tosses a fish at Cajun Carrot while chasing after some pan-dimensional mice*

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at December 17, 2012 05:02 PM (+k/kq)

197 >I'd make sure I have on clean underwear.
Posted by: dananjcon at December 17, 2012




and make sure you turn the oven off

Posted by: Jones in CO at December 17, 2012 05:02 PM (8sCoq)

198 I'd have sex with Michele.

Just so I would know how it felt.

Posted by: Prez. Killah B, MC Choom at December 17, 2012 05:02 PM (gCa4h)

199 Which is something that those same priests should've foreseen...if they were so good at making predictions.
Posted by: wheatie at December 17, 2012 04:54 PM (K4wCe)

Stargate. Or they were the most math advanced and the aliens gave 'em a lift. If that was the only ride coming along before the space vampires show up, they had to leave in a hurry.

Posted by: Invictus at December 17, 2012 05:02 PM (OQpzc)

200 **Oh yeah, no doubt. No sense in cross into another realm dressed like a slob. I imagine first impressions count for something in the afterlife as well.
Posted by: dananjcon at December 17, 2012 05:01 PM (jvd3N) I'm always prepared. I wear nomex underwear, just in case things don't go my way.....

Posted by: maddogg at December 17, 2012 05:02 PM (OlN4e)

201 today’s Christmas Kitteh

And a Happy New Year !!!

Posted by: Adriane at December 17, 2012 05:03 PM (gh+mp)

202 Plus I'd work on some good snarky lines like

This is really going to mess with my golfing handicap.
I'm gonna risk it and not change my oil at 3000 miles.
You said you wouldn't have sex with me if I was the last man on Earth. Hubba hubba hubba.
I didn't floss this morning.
Strike me dead if that half black guy in the WH isn't the greatest president ever.

Posted by: GnuBreed at December 17, 2012 05:03 PM (ccXZP)

203 >Then I'd cook and eat him.


Posted by: Hollowpoint at December 17, 2012 05:01 PM (SY2Kh)


now I'm thinking who would win in a fight: polar bear or lion?

Posted by: Jones in CO at December 17, 2012 05:03 PM (8sCoq)

204 12-21-2012, the World Ended, and all I got was this Lousy T-shirt.....

My favorite one of those was in the movie The Game.

Posted by: toby928© Person of Pallor at December 17, 2012 05:04 PM (QupBk)

205 I'd finally sit down and watch the Lord of the Rings trilogy, extended version...

Posted by: wiserbud at December 17, 2012 05:04 PM (gCa4h)

206 Congratulation to you and your daughter. That is a wonderful accomplishment.

I mentioned that there is something to fin de siecle madness. This has all happened before. It will all happen again. People go a little mad and I can absolutely see people believing that killing others before the apocalypse is more humane.


There's a flawed but interest movie with Willem Dafoe that actually deals with this. It's called 4:44 Last Day on Earth. If you can get past the whole we are all going to die because Al Gore was right and we brought this on ourselves premise, it shows what a couple does when they and the rest of the world know with certainty that the world will end at 4:44 a.m. As I said, it's not perfect by any means but it is interesting watching what people choose to do.

I still haven't seen Seeking a Friend for the End of the World but that has pretty much the same premise.

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD. Tick tock tick tock. at December 17, 2012 05:04 PM (VtjlW)

207 When we're having "Outlaw Liberal Arts" nights on the ONT, there's always some goofball who tells how he took Philosophy 101 before he found his fortune in assistant-engineering, so he knows what BS the entire field is. And I always tell that guy that when I majored in philosophy, there was no 101. Freshmen were not allowed to take philosophy.

That was a set-up for a little joke, that this thread is a good example of why there is no Philosophy 101. Because this is the kind of shit they'd want to talk about.

Then, of course, you all must know by now that one of the shooter's special-entry college courses at the Western Connecticut State Gun-Free Zone was, you guessed it, Philosophy 101. Ethics. And, he got a C.

So, res ipsa loquitur.

Posted by: comatus at December 17, 2012 05:05 PM (qaVK+)

208 now I'm thinking who would win in a fight: polar bear or lion?
Posted by: Jones in CO at December 17, 2012 05:03 PM (8sCoq) No contest. Bet the farm on the bear.

Posted by: maddogg at December 17, 2012 05:05 PM (OlN4e)

209 take a tram ride to a deep cave with a load of dinosaur bones and various weapons. Make it look like I killed a T Rex with a sword.
_

who knows? 1,000,000 years from now some ... thing ... might dig up the site and think "Damn! They were a race of giants."

... in whatever language they develop.

_

Posted by: BumperStickerist at December 17, 2012 05:05 PM (RuUvx)

210 I got 7'' of snow.Plow is scraping the dirt road in front of the house as I tap this out.


Posted by: ontherocks at December 17, 2012 04:57 PM (aZ6ew)


Where are you located?

Posted by: Tami at December 17, 2012 05:05 PM (X6akg)

211 Counting the minutes until a 7 PM Christmas Party at the Sports Bar complete with Secret Santa, pot luck everything and a deep-fried turkey.

Posted by: Lincolntf at December 17, 2012 05:05 PM (tkoGU)

212
What was the name of the cult that cut of their balls and ate the poison pudding?

Posted by: Walkers! at December 17, 2012 05:06 PM (jWwDJ)

213 now I'm thinking who would win in a fight: polar bear or lion?

One on one? Polar bear I imagine.

No matter though. I've never eaten polar bear or lion before, and either one of the freeloading, preening fuckers would have it coming.

Posted by: Hollowpoint at December 17, 2012 05:07 PM (SY2Kh)

214 203 -

I'm going lion, because unlike the polar bear, he knows what it's like to have to fight for survival. Polar bear just lumbers around all day waiting for seals to surface. Lions deal with hyenas, packs of dogs, huge water buffalo with massive horns, elephants, rhinos, hippos, crocs, etc...

Posted by: BurtTC at December 17, 2012 05:07 PM (TOk1P)

215 Gawd I hope it ends. I can't take 4 more years of the SCOAMF's lisp.

Posted by: Infidel at December 17, 2012 05:07 PM (z/wx3)

216 omg what land animal could even beat the polar bear?

I mean, I guess a bigger grizzly but other than that . .

Posted by: BlackOrchid-StillMissingDagny at December 17, 2012 05:07 PM (J6kXj)

217 Would the nuclear horror black and white 'On The Beach' count? Radioactive cloud is slowing approaching Australia and various people decide on different ways of going out. Some choose to poison their families and themselves before the cloud reaches them.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at December 17, 2012 05:07 PM (+k/kq)

218 Take comfort in the fact that at least Obama would be a one term president

Posted by: Woodsrunner at December 17, 2012 05:07 PM (7amV2)

219 What was the name of the cult that cut of their balls and ate the poison pudding?

DailyKos?

Posted by: wiserbud at December 17, 2012 05:07 PM (gCa4h)

220 >>Where are you located?


Posted by: Tami at December 17, 2012 05:05 PM (X6akg)

Within site of Mt Washington, NH/ME border.

Posted by: ontherocks at December 17, 2012 05:08 PM (aZ6ew)

221 What would I do?

Longship, bodies of enemies, Weapon in Hand.... dog on board...

Posted by: Romeo13 at December 17, 2012 05:08 PM (lZBBB)

222 /What was the name of the cult that cut of their balls and ate the poison pudding?/

The Welsh.
_

Posted by: BumperStickerist at December 17, 2012 05:08 PM (RuUvx)

223 Great question! After having died 3 times a few yrs back I would have to say I'd get together with or call all the people I love so dearly and tell them so. Then I'cd tell them I'll see you in heaven. Believe it or not Heaven does exist (I know some will argue that.....it's ok i'll see you there too) Aand pain is only temporary. heaven is eternal. And no I will not take their
Life or mine. We all need to experience death in it's fullness. and in the last few hours I would drink a few beers, eat a pizza smoke a great cigar and wait for my appearance before my Creator. God Bless You All.

Posted by: Truthisliberation at December 17, 2012 05:08 PM (swblU)

224 site = sight

Posted by: ontherocks at December 17, 2012 05:08 PM (aZ6ew)

225 What was the name of the cult that cut of their balls and ate the poison pudding?
Posted by: Walkers! at December 17, 2012 05:06 PM (jWwDJ)


Liberals

Posted by: Nevergiveup at December 17, 2012 05:08 PM (79ueO)

226 First look at Ford's radical 2015 F-150. Damn I wish I had some money.

http://is.gd/vP6zKo

Posted by: Vic at December 17, 2012 05:09 PM (53z96)

227 >>> Some choose to poison their families and themselves before the cloud reaches them.

Others chose to bang Ava Gardner.

Posted by: Walkers! at December 17, 2012 05:09 PM (jWwDJ)

228 I'd finally schedule that colonoscopy I've been putting off for no reason.

Finally I'll have a validreason why I couldn't make it tothe appointment.

Posted by: polynikes at December 17, 2012 05:09 PM (m2CN7)

229 Vic, that is not a pick-up truck. That is a Cylon Toaster in disguise.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at December 17, 2012 05:09 PM (+k/kq)

230 I'd grab my longbow and challenge a crossbower to a duel at 100 yards.

Posted by: GnuBreed at December 17, 2012 05:10 PM (ccXZP)

231 182 May a 1000 Ruby Ridges bloom if they attempt to revoke the 2nd Amendment by congressional and executive fiat.
Posted by: General Woundwort at December 17, 2012 04:59 PM (RrD4h)

I thought the same thing last night.

Posted by: CDR M at December 17, 2012 05:10 PM (JSetw)

232 Cheer up, it might not happen.

AbFab for the win.

Posted by: Sweet Lou at December 17, 2012 05:10 PM (gsPPG)

233 I am not sure it is really productive trying to understand irrational motives. I mean, if you could REALLY understand, wouldn't that make you irrational?

Abnormal behavior is little more then exaggerated normal behavior. To wash your hands four or five times a day would be considered normal, perhaps a hundred times a day would venture well into the abnormal area.

To sometimes become angry with another person would pretty much be considered normal, as I see people 'vent' here pretty consistently about a boss, another driver, a spouse, or boy/girl friend. To become angry enough with a mother, or a former school one attended -- enough that they would end their lives is well into exaggerated abnormal behavior.

I think society as a whole has a pretty good grasp when someone is venturing away from normal into abnormal. Our ability as conservatives to make a fuss, and bitch and moan, and piss off the MSM is a power we actually do have. To let someone within our realm of influence stray outside the boundaries of normal areas without bringing it to the attention of others would mean that we have become sheep. I hope we never let that happen.

Posted by: Regular Moron at December 17, 2012 05:10 PM (feFL6)

234 tiger would beat lion

lions are lazy

polar bears are tough mothers - I mean they are just white grizzlies

hmm this is fun to think about! I Want a Zoo! (my version would be slightly different)

oh and btw . . . I was also going to say this awful event reminds one that deranged adult humans, like grizzlies, are not pets. My other favorite comedy (other than Grizzly Man) explains this well

"Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer"

Posted by: BlackOrchid-StillMissingDagny at December 17, 2012 05:10 PM (J6kXj)

235 Right now, I'd go to ATL and kill (looks furtively around) bitch-slap every fucking employee of the Weather Channel.


Would it kill them to, oh, I don't know, give the damned weather once in a while? Been under a damned tornado watch all day.


Posted by: Jane D'oh, Life Coach at December 17, 2012 05:10 PM (UOM48)

236 Bravo!
Posted by: J.J. Sefton at December 17, 2012 04:13 PM (XkWWK)
Thank you!

Posted by: stuiec at December 17, 2012 05:10 PM (Di3Im)

237 For me, if I KNEW with metaphysical certitude that the world would be snuffed out entirely next Tuesday, it would be a repudiation of my religious belief. Confronted with that, I would certainly just off myself after aweek of orgiastic enjoyment. I'd spend every dime on hookers and blow, since it would be proof that there was no god, or at least none I could accept. Might also take it upon myself to snuff our some dirt bags early. I'm sure we could all make a list of those types with about 10 minutes thought.

Posted by: Reactionary at December 17, 2012 05:10 PM (jfeoD)

238 >>Pluses to going to Hell:



Interesting people



Chance to kick some people in the nuts (adolph, i'm looking at you!)

Ha! You must have read "Damned" by Chuck Palahniuk. I read it yesterday.

Posted by: angler at December 17, 2012 05:10 PM (SwjAj)

239 Hhhmmm Ava Gardner. 55 Days at Peiking.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at December 17, 2012 05:10 PM (+k/kq)

240 Nightworld - by F. Paul Wilson, last in a series, also has this scenario.

Posted by: steve at December 17, 2012 05:10 PM (sGtp+)

241 omg what land animal could even beat the polar bear?

I mean, I guess a bigger grizzly but other than that . .

Posted by: BlackOrchid-StillMissingDagny at December 17, 2012 05:07 PM (J6kXj)



I'm putting my money on the komodo dragon.



Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD. Tick tock tick tock. at December 17, 2012 05:11 PM (VtjlW)

242 Wasn't the Super Chief a Santa Fe train?

Posted by: Waterhouse at December 17, 2012 05:11 PM (JACEX)

243 That would've made more sense if I'd included Vic's link.

Posted by: Waterhouse at December 17, 2012 05:11 PM (JACEX)

244 ABC News Poll taken over the weekend
71% DO NOT support a full handgun ban

but

52% DO support a ban on semi-automatic guns

This is somewhat encouraging. I would have thought after the non-stop gun ban rhetoric by the MSM the 52% would be a lot higher. I'm guessing if you take this poll a month from now it will be under 50%.

Posted by: Mr. Moo Moo at December 17, 2012 05:12 PM (HDgX3)

245 The world's ending?

Oh, what the hell..

C'mere, Hillary.

Posted by: Bill Clinton at December 17, 2012 05:12 PM (gCa4h)

246
Within site of Mt Washington, NH/ME border.


Posted by: ontherocks at December 17, 2012 05:08 PM (aZ6ew)

For some reason, I thought you were in Connecticut.

Posted by: Tami at December 17, 2012 05:12 PM (X6akg)

247 124 I don't thing the entire budget of the US would be enough to launch that much lard into space.

----------

I did once see a note about a study claiming that launching fat astronauts would be much more fuel efficient than launching astronauts + food.

I saw it on the internet, so it must be true!

Posted by: Citizen Anachronda at December 17, 2012 05:12 PM (IrbU4)

248 First look at Ford's radical 2015 F-150. Damn I wish I had some money.


Let's focus on the important question. Can I see over the steering wheel?

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD. Tick tock tick tock. at December 17, 2012 05:12 PM (VtjlW)

249 BTW, stuiec, you might enjoy "Stars, Won't You Hide Me?" by Ben Bova. It's the last short story in this PDF: http://tinyurl.com/d8cf7yb
Posted by: GalosGann at December 17, 2012 04:21 PM (T3KlW)
Thank you very much! I read that story originally in one of the Rod Serling paperback anthologies, but lost my copy many years ago. I have until now been unable to find it online, so I appreciate this link more than you know.

Posted by: stuiec at December 17, 2012 05:12 PM (Di3Im)

250 >>>Ha! You must have read "Damned" by Chuck Palahniuk. I read it yesterday.
Posted by: angler

No, I never heard of it.

Posted by: Walkers! at December 17, 2012 05:13 PM (jWwDJ)

251 Bill you horn-dog. Banging a women with a concussion...

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at December 17, 2012 05:13 PM (+k/kq)

252 wtf semi-auto what do they even mean with that?!?!

I swear everyone I talk to thinks this asshole was spraying the school with a tommygun

Posted by: BlackOrchid-StillMissingDagny at December 17, 2012 05:13 PM (J6kXj)

253 The Ford in the link picture is NOT the new one. It's the last new one.

Posted by: comatus at December 17, 2012 05:13 PM (qaVK+)

254 Can I see over the steering wheel?

Don't you have minions for that kind of thing?

Posted by: Waterhouse at December 17, 2012 05:13 PM (JACEX)

255 237 -

I would suspect the price of hookers and blow would skyrocket, while the value of the dollar plummets.

Likely you would not be able to afford them. What a shame...

Posted by: BurtTC at December 17, 2012 05:14 PM (TOk1P)

256
Burt Lancaster had to kiss Ava Gardner in a film upon which they had to call a break because he got a huge old very noticeable boner.

Posted by: Walkers! at December 17, 2012 05:14 PM (jWwDJ)

257 Alexthechick, train a velociraptor to drive. Should be very amusing.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at December 17, 2012 05:14 PM (+k/kq)

258 Here's a video of a raccoon and his pet kitteh: (Cat vs. raccoon....my money's on the raccoon.)

http://tinyurl.com/d4hfqpv

Posted by: Jane D'oh, Life Coach at December 17, 2012 05:14 PM (UOM48)

259
I'dd eat a muthah fuckin cheeseurgah.......

Posted by: Moochelle at December 17, 2012 05:14 PM (nELVU)

260
.... have a smoke.....

Posted by: Barky at December 17, 2012 05:14 PM (nELVU)

261 >>For some reason, I thought you were in Connecticut.


Posted by: Tami at December 17, 2012 05:12 PM (X6akg)
There's been times that I thought that too.......another reason that I quit drinkin'

Posted by: ontherocks at December 17, 2012 05:14 PM (aZ6ew)

262 Interesting questions.

I'd spend my remaining time with my family.


O.T.:

Many of us are familiar with MRE's. Some of us, myself included, were there when MRE's first came out. (Show of hands, who here remembers 'Turkey Loaf'?). Some of the meals were so horrible that First Sergeants the world over instituted 'no peeking' policies when it came to passing out meals. You had to shove your hand into the box, and pull out the first thick plastic pouch you touched. Oh look...you got Dehydrated Beef Patty...sure, it was Ready to Eat...if you managed to overlook the inconvenient fact that it was By F'Ing God Not Ready To Eat. In our infinite number of universes, Dehydrated Beef Patty was not 'Ready To Eat' in any of them.

C-Rats were superior...even late in the game, when, after years of storage, they were stamped by the Post Veterinarian that they were safe for human consumption. Yes, really...Army Veterinarians were tasked with determining whether field rations were ok for soldiers to eat. I assume they accomplished this task by feeding random C-Rats to dogs....if the dogs didn't die too horribly, they were deemed good enough for soldiers. These meals were superior to "Beef Patty, Dehydrated, 1 Each".

For those of you lucky enough to be unfamiliar with Dehydrated Beef Patty, it consisted of a grayish slab of alleged beef, approximately 3 inches by 2 inches by 1/2 inch. It was, as it's label attested, dehydrated. The pouch it came in weighed more than the 'patty'. The patty itself was flavorless....it was reminiscent of a rice cake that someone had rubbed against a live cow at some point. If you were otherwise not too busy being shot at by bad guys, you could soak Dehydrated Beef Patty in water for about an hour...until it had the consistency of wet shredded newspaper....and all the flavor.

Doing so didn't make Dehydrated Beef Patty any more edible than it already was...if anything, it made it worse. You could try to spice it up a bit with the contents of your Accessory Packet...which included instant coffee, sugar, coffee creamer, salt, matches, and toilet paper. Toilet Paper au Dehydrated Beef Patty wasn't too bad, the toilet paper definitely gave it some flavor. The brave among us would try sprinkling Dehydrated Beef Patty with instant coffee...crushed match heads...coffee creamer. None of it really helped.

I'm pretty sure there was a method to the madness behind Dehydrated Beef Patty. I have long suspected it was constructed of cow parts people wouldn't normally choose to eat. Eye balls, dicks, uteruses, (or uteri?), assholes, nipples, warts...the bits and pieces even the good folks at Alpo turned their noses up at. The Army never dehydrated the tasty cow parts...only the inedible flotsam and jetsam from the slaughterhouse floor.

Ok, so rant off. I do hope you 'rons and 'ettes come away with this message:

Dehydrated Beef Patty = Bad

Sharp Stick in the Eye = Better Than The Above.

Posted by: Sticky Wicket at December 17, 2012 05:15 PM (L7hol)

263 >>No, I never heard of it.

Funny, you distilled one of the main theses of the novel in two sentences.

Posted by: angler at December 17, 2012 05:15 PM (SwjAj)

264 I would suspect the price of hookers and blow would skyrocket, while the value of the dollar plummets. Likely you would not be able to afford them. What a shame...
Posted by: BurtTC at December 17, 2012 05:14 PM (TOk1P)




You sure are a spiteful bastard...

I was operating under the assumption that only I know the end is coming in this hypothetical.

Posted by: Reactionary at December 17, 2012 05:16 PM (jfeoD)

265
angler: I just googled it. Hell is working as a telemarketer??

Posted by: Walkers! at December 17, 2012 05:16 PM (jWwDJ)

266 take a tram ride to a deep cave with a load of dinosaur bones and various weapons. Make it look like I killed a T Rex with a sword.

Hahahahahaha!!!!

Posted by: fluffy at December 17, 2012 05:16 PM (O6q63)

267 I don't believe Bill would go for Hillary. Not if the world was ending.

Chelsea, maybe, but not Hillary.

Posted by: BurtTC at December 17, 2012 05:16 PM (TOk1P)

268 ...cuddle with Reggie, smoke, do some blow, eat all the shit Michelle won't let me eat.....

Posted by: Barky McChoom at December 17, 2012 05:16 PM (UOM48)

269 You don't even have to ask me.

Posted by: Honey Badger at December 17, 2012 05:17 PM (ccXZP)

270 Would the nuclear horror black and white 'On The Beach' count? Radioactive cloud is slowing approaching Australia and various people decide on different ways of going out. Some choose to poison their families and themselves before the cloud reaches them.
Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at December 17, 2012 05:07 PM (+k/kq)
Yes, the scenario in On The Beach is certain global death.

Posted by: stuiec at December 17, 2012 05:17 PM (Di3Im)

271 Eat a salad.

Posted by: Michael Moore at December 17, 2012 05:17 PM (gCa4h)

272 Sticky Wicket, Chicken-a-la-King. That was a concoction unfit enough to make people hurl when seen under the light of the sun. The only vampire meal, best eaten in the dark unseen ever invented.

I did see a guy try to feed the dehydrated patty to his dog. The dog turned up his nose.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at December 17, 2012 05:17 PM (+k/kq)

273 264 -

Hookers are always the first to know, unfortunately.

Posted by: BurtTC at December 17, 2012 05:18 PM (TOk1P)

274 Heaven's Gate?

Posted by: Al at December 17, 2012 05:18 PM (V70Uh)

275
Posted by: Sticky Wicket at December 17, 2012 05:15 PM (L7hol)


What about me?

Posted by: Tabasco at December 17, 2012 05:18 PM (Yf4MJ)

276 MRE>>>>>>>>>Meals Rejected by Ethiopians.

Posted by: maddogg at December 17, 2012 05:19 PM (OlN4e)

277 I had mres the summer of 1982. I liked them.

Posted by: Walkers! at December 17, 2012 05:19 PM (jWwDJ)

278 If Adam Lanza had been convicted in his mind that he was a hero out to save people from a coming devastation of life and universal elements, why did he choose suicide? Why did he not valiantly fight on killing/"saving" more people?

His choice of suicide hints he knew that what he was perpetrating was wrong.

Posted by: whobewut at December 17, 2012 05:19 PM (W5c4e)

279 71% DO NOT support a full handgun ban

52% DO support a ban on semi-automatic guns


This just in. (52-(100-71))% of people do not understand what a semiautomatic weapon is and how it is different from any other weapon.
Ban the M1? Really? Really? Ban the 1911, a weapon design that is over 100 years old?

Again, the low water mark for Homicide in the US was 1957. Since then there have been 0 significant advances in weapons made available to the public.

Whatever our problem with homicide is, it isn't with the guns. And whatever that problem is, it started about 1963 and peaked and started back down in 1980.

I wonder what it could be.

Posted by: MikeTheMoose is Shrugging at December 17, 2012 05:19 PM (0q2P7)

280 Actually read that Ace of Spades blog I've heard so much about...

Posted by: not Ace.. honest... *cough at December 17, 2012 05:19 PM (gCa4h)

281 Save the Tabasco for the plastic flavored eggs.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at December 17, 2012 05:19 PM (+k/kq)

282 Posted by: Sticky Wicket at December 17, 2012 05:15 PM (L7hol)


They are selling current MREs up at the West Point Commissary for $7.50

Posted by: Nevergiveup at December 17, 2012 05:20 PM (79ueO)

283 What was the name of the cult that cut of their balls and ate the poison pudding?

Heaven's Gate

Hale-Bopp or bust!

Posted by: fluffy at December 17, 2012 05:20 PM (O6q63)

284 This Newtown nightmare could be as simple as the absolute worst possible paring of an eccentric mother and damaged, rudderless semen stain of a son.

Alone together.

Not counting on the MFM to resolve the question though.

Truth gets in the way of their agenda.

Posted by: ontherocks at December 17, 2012 05:20 PM (aZ6ew)

285 Whatever our problem with homicide is, it isn't with the guns. And whatever that problem is, it started about 1963 and peaked and started back down in 1980. I wonder what it could be.
Posted by: MikeTheMoose is Shrugging at December 17, 2012 05:19 PM (0q2P7)

Is our problem Kennedys?

I bet its the Kennedys.

Posted by: Jollyroger at December 17, 2012 05:20 PM (t06LC)

286 >>>274 Heaven's Gate?

Posted by: Al

Yeah, I think you're right. It's amazing that so many intelligent people could fall for that BS. But it takes real dedication to cut off your nuts.

Posted by: Walkers! at December 17, 2012 05:21 PM (jWwDJ)

287 Hale-Bopp, not to be confused with Mmm-Bop!

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at December 17, 2012 05:21 PM (+k/kq)

288 His choice of suicide hints he knew that what he was perpetrating was wrong.

It's not going to make sense tho. REMEMBER HE WAS CRAZY.

cray cray

Maybe that was his "rationale" but it doesn't matter and it sure as shit doesn't have to make sense. HE WAS NUTS.

Posted by: BlackOrchid-StillMissingDagny at December 17, 2012 05:21 PM (J6kXj)

289 261
>>For some reason, I thought you were in Connecticut.




Posted by: Tami at December 17, 2012 05:12 PM (X6akg)


There's been times that I thought that too.......another reason that I quit drinkin'




Posted by: ontherocks at December 17, 2012 05:14 PM (aZ6ew)


It's the reason I started drinkin'.

Posted by: Tami at December 17, 2012 05:21 PM (X6akg)

290 Admit that AGW is a scam.

Posted by: Al Gore at December 17, 2012 05:21 PM (gCa4h)

291 >>angler: I just googled it. Hell is working as a telemarketer??

Yeah. It's a pretty funny novel. One moron-friendly nugget of the story: The protagonist, who is in Hell, contacts her parents (a liberal Hollywood actress and producer) via a telemarketing call to tell them that yes, they were right, Mother Gaia/environmentalism/wealth redistribution/the limousine liberal lifestyle will earn them life in Heaven, when she knows it will condemn them to Hell.

Posted by: angler at December 17, 2012 05:22 PM (SwjAj)

292 284

ontherocks

BINGO

I totally and utterly subscribe to that elegantly simple solution to this puzzler.

Mom was nutty. Son was NUTTIER x!!eleventy!!!!11

and here we are.

Still, would like to know a) why that school in particular and b) why it took so long for the cops to come.

Posted by: BlackOrchid-StillMissingDagny at December 17, 2012 05:22 PM (J6kXj)

293 Hookers are always the first to know, unfortunately.
Posted by: BurtTC at December 17, 2012 05:18 PM (TOk1P)



Ah. Well, then if there is no access to hookers and coke then I suppose I'd have to go straight to the vengeance killings. What other joys would be left?

Posted by: Reactionary at December 17, 2012 05:22 PM (jfeoD)

294 The toughest part of the adaptation was the part where her character says, "I didn't want to die this way. I wanted to become a psychologist and have a bulldog and kids. I didn't want to see my two sisters die in some crazy suicide cult."
Not easy to convert that last sentence into visual drama when you're the father of the two sisters in question. Even a fictional suicide of one's child is surprisingly affecting.

Posted by: stuiec at December 17, 2012 05:23 PM (Di3Im)

295 Posted by: MikeTheMoose is Shrugging at December 17, 2012 05:19 PM (0q2P7)

One interesting artcile pointed out that even though Blacks were less than 15% of the population, they accounted for almost 50% of the Nations Murders...

And almost ALL of the murders are commited by Males...

So, almost 50% of the US murders are commited by 7.5% of the population.

But pointing that out would be Racist... so I won't...

Posted by: Romeo13 at December 17, 2012 05:23 PM (lZBBB)

296 Since Asia is 12 hours ahead of us, will that half of the world end first?

Posted by: Cicero Kid at December 17, 2012 05:23 PM (Yf4MJ)

297 True Hell is being sent to the fiery pits and forced to watch all the Sham-Wow commercials 24/7/365 with no break.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at December 17, 2012 05:23 PM (+k/kq)

298 Sticky Wicket, Chicken-a-la-King.

(((shudder)))

The dehydrated beef patty was still the worst though.

The frankfurters would've been OK, except they packed them in whatever the hell that slime/gel stuff was. I'm pretty sure it was leftover from the filming of Ghostbusters.

Posted by: Hollowpoint at December 17, 2012 05:24 PM (SY2Kh)

299 K rations made C rations look like Cordon Bleu

Posted by: Zombie Slim Whitman at December 17, 2012 05:25 PM (Dll6b)

300 What was the name of the cult that worshiped the sun and committed mass suicides in Canada, France, and Switzerland?

Posted by: Walkers! at December 17, 2012 05:25 PM (jWwDJ)

301 >>True Hell is being sent to the fiery pits and forced to watch all the Sham-Wow commercials 24/7/365 with no break.

Sorry to obsess, but I just read the book. In "Damned," the most evil souls are sent to a place in Hell where "The English Patient" is forever played on a giant screen above them.

Posted by: angler at December 17, 2012 05:25 PM (SwjAj)

302 I don't know why MRE's have to be so bad. Thereare a lot of dehydrated foods out there for public consumption that taste pretty damn good.

Posted by: polynikes at December 17, 2012 05:26 PM (m2CN7)

303
Sometimes, it is just pain being alive everyday. For some people, like this tragic kid, Adam Lanza. He did a hellish evil thing, but something terrible drove him to this.

And who can imagine the hell of Pol Pot's death camps in Cambodia, or the mass slaughters in Rwanda, the hellish Gulags of the Soviet Union, the deathcamps of the Third Reich.

People, without cosmic intervention, are capable of creating Hell on Earth from thedepths of their sick imaginations. What is worse is that people dream up terrible scenarios that involve mass death and terror, pain and cruelty, and keep up the illusion about being intellectually curious.

It speaks volumes about our dystopian visions of thefuture, that few are optimistic and hopeful about a better and brighter future for the human race. Instead, let's scare the kids to death about the End of the World.

Posted by: Reader C.J. Burch thinks he's Eddie Willers at December 17, 2012 05:27 PM (Md8Uo)

304 One major criticism of the K-ration was its caloric and vitamin content,
judged as inadequate based on evaluations made during and after World
War II of the ration's actual use by Army forces.[7]
There was also a danger of over-reliance, which could cause the three
meals to become monotonous if issued for long periods of time.[8]
Fundamental to the K-ration's inadequacy was its ration allowance,
rigorously standardized at one ration per man per day. Because of the
short duration and hasty nature of experimental testing of the K-ration
before adoption, ration planners did not realize that soldiers fighting,
digging, and marching in extreme conditions would require many more
calories per day than a soldier marching over cleared roads in temperate
climates. Nevertheless, one K-ration per man per day would remain the
basis of issue, even for mountain troops

Posted by: Zombie Slim Whitman at December 17, 2012 05:27 PM (Dll6b)

305 It's the reason I started drinkin'.


Posted by: Tami at December 17, 2012 05:21 PM (X6akg)
Knowing that, and the fact that you're armed is one of the main reasons that I stay out of Conn.Otherwise I'd have to greet you with the double handed Hi sign for sure.

Posted by: ontherocks at December 17, 2012 05:27 PM (aZ6ew)

306 Since Asia is 12 hours ahead of us, will that half of the world end first?
Posted by: Cicero Kid at December 17, 2012 05:23 PM (Yf4MJ)

Well in all the movies, the first asteroids seems to hit Hong Kong or Paris first

Posted by: Nevergiveup at December 17, 2012 05:27 PM (79ueO)

307 In "Damned," the most evil souls are sent to a place
in Hell where "The English Patient" is forever played on a giant screen
above them.


Posted by: angler at December 17, 2012 05:25 PM (SwjAj)



NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

Posted by: Elaine Benes at December 17, 2012 05:27 PM (X6akg)

308 278
If Adam Lanza had been convicted in his mind that he was a hero out to
save people from a coming devastation of life and universal elements,
why did he choose suicide? Why did he not valiantly fight on
killing/"saving" more people?



His choice of suicide hints he knew that what he was perpetrating was wrong.

Posted by: whobewut at December 17, 2012 05:19 PM (W5c4e)

Any more details one why he went to the school and why he was there a couple of days before making trouble?

Posted by: Temper Tantrum at December 17, 2012 05:27 PM (AWmfW)

309 If Adam Lanza had been convicted in his mind that he was a hero out to save people from a coming devastation of life and universal elements, why did he choose suicide? Why did he not valiantly fight on killing/"saving" more people?
His choice of suicide hints he knew that what he was perpetrating was wrong.

Posted by: whobewut at December 17, 2012 05:19 PM (W5c4e)

That gets to the point of my post. He was crazy, so his perception of right and wrong was way out of whack with our commonly agreed definitions. For whatever reason -- whether he was bent on causing pain and grief or acting as a self-appointed savior -- he decided his work was done, and (unlike Holmes in Aurora, CO) he decided he needed to join his victims in death. That might have been a final act of cowardice or a final act of self-satisfaction -- we can never really know.

Posted by: stuiec at December 17, 2012 05:28 PM (Di3Im)

310 I don't know why MRE's have to be so bad.
Posted by: polynikes at December 17, 2012 05:26 PM (m2CN7)




It is my understanding that it prevents pigging out, exhausing rations prematurely. You'll only eat what you NEED when it sucks to eat it.

Posted by: Reactionary at December 17, 2012 05:28 PM (jfeoD)

311 committed mass suicides in Canada, France, and Switzerland?

Posted by: Walkers! at December 17, 2012 05:25 PM (jWwDJ)


That was the People's Liberation Front of Canada, France, and Switzerland

Posted by: Zombie Slim Whitman at December 17, 2012 05:28 PM (Dll6b)

312 MREs were developed by an Army lab in Nattick. That is why they tend to stink though current gen have gotten better. Even the vegetarian aint that bad.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at December 17, 2012 05:28 PM (+k/kq)

313 It is ultimately impossible to make sense of certain religious convictions when it comes down to those who would use violence to bring about a heavenly afterlife. If those children are in heaven now, then the shooter did them a great favor. Next step in the logic is obvious: shouldn't we all kill small children?

This is the cold and flawless logic of violent radicalism.

Posted by: Fabio Escobar at December 17, 2012 05:28 PM (dQTSZ)

314 Any more details one why he went to the school and why he was there a couple of days before making trouble?
Posted by: Temper Tantrum at December 17, 2012 05:27 PM (AWmfW)


it has never been confirmed, and it has been denied, that he was at the school days before?

Posted by: Nevergiveup at December 17, 2012 05:28 PM (79ueO)

315 This Newtown nightmare could be as simple as the absolute worst possible paring of an eccentric mother and damaged, rudderless semen stain of a son.

Yeah, I think there is some truth to that. She was getting paid off about $300,000 a year in a divorce settlement. She had enough money to keep the 'professionals' paid enough money for continuing 'therapy' for her child without them considering that they should fix the problem once and for all. You know, because maybe he was a risk to society. Not that the school counselors noticed (they did) or that school security was notified (they were).

I've seen that a lot in my life, people who prefer to continually take your money on the installment plan.

So I'm kinda hoping that the lawsuits begin pretty soon and the "professionals" that took this woman's money end up in a single wide trailer park with a one foot by one foot clothes closet filled with Goodwill rejects.

Posted by: Regular Moron at December 17, 2012 05:28 PM (feFL6)

316 Knowing that, and the fact that you're armed is one
of the main reasons that I stay out of Conn.Otherwise I'd have to greet
you with the double handed Hi sign for sure.




Posted by: ontherocks at December 17, 2012 05:27 PM (aZ6ew)


Wait....why do you think I'm armed?

Posted by: Tami at December 17, 2012 05:28 PM (X6akg)

317 Well in all the movies, the first asteroids seems to hit Hong Kong or Paris first

Posted by: Nevergiveup at December 17, 2012 05:27 PM (79ueO)

Yet the Head Alien always chooses to land in Washington, DC, or New York City.

Posted by: stuiec at December 17, 2012 05:29 PM (Di3Im)

318 'The English Patient?' Pikers. Try 'Chariots of Fire.'

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at December 17, 2012 05:29 PM (+k/kq)

319 I've had both C rats and MREs. Both had good and bad meals.

Posted by: fluffy at December 17, 2012 05:29 PM (O6q63)

320 226
First look at Ford's radical 2015 F-150. Damn I wish I had some money.

http://is.gd/vP6zKo



Posted by: Vic at December 17, 2012 05:09 PM (53z96)

__________________
Why, to give your hard earned money to the UAW?

Posted by: Mr. Moo Moo at December 17, 2012 05:30 PM (HDgX3)

321 Yet the Head Alien always chooses to land in Washington, DC, or New York City.
Posted by: stuiec at December 17, 2012 05:29 PM (Di3Im)

Because they grew up watching American Westerns and only speak English

Posted by: Nevergiveup at December 17, 2012 05:30 PM (79ueO)

322 Looking so forward to a dinner party with friends in a few weeks.

TWO grown sons with Aspergers at home. Cannot. Wait.

*gulp*

Posted by: Jane D'oh, Life Coach at December 17, 2012 05:31 PM (UOM48)

323 I'd go drive in Russia.

Posted by: Hanoverfist at December 17, 2012 05:31 PM (IBZR2)

324 It speaks volumes about our dystopian visions of thefuture, that few are optimistic and hopeful about a better and brighter future for the human race. Instead, let's scare the kids to death about the End of the World.
Posted by: Reader C.J. Burch thinks he's Eddie Willers at December 17, 2012 05:27 PM (Md8Uo)




Well, in fairness there is damn little evidence for an improvement in man's lot lately. Most of the rest of the world is fairly shitty, and this country is increasingly over run with folks who think the US should be more like those places. Many are the days when I believe, with seriousness, that SMOD would be a relief from the unremitting insanity we're confronted with every damn day.

Posted by: Reactionary at December 17, 2012 05:32 PM (jfeoD)

325 To me, suicide is a very rational choice for a desperate person. There are plenty of "crazy" people walking around making quite rational choices. I think the gunman was fully aware he wasn't normal. I'm not saying he wasn't mentally ill. . . lots of mentally ill people are aware they are mentally ill and not normal.
Mental illness isn't necessarily a vegetable-type state where one is always locked into another world. (I don't consider autism to be mental illness although an autistic individual may have signs of mental illness.) I think this gunman had some idea that he wasn't normal. He must've convinced the people closest to him, by his behavior, that he was "mostly" functioning in order to have had as much freedom as it appears he had.

He made his choices, and while "crazy" might be part of it all, I think he was quite aware that he was perpetrating a great evil.

Or else, I say we discuss demon possession. And maybe that's what mental illness is?

Posted by: whobewut at December 17, 2012 05:32 PM (W5c4e)

326 >>Wait....why do you think I'm armed?


Posted by: Tami at December 17, 2012 05:28 PM (X6akg)

We can just tell these things.
.....that and the surveillance tape


Posted by: ontherocks at December 17, 2012 05:32 PM (aZ6ew)

327 318
'The English Patient?' Pikers. Try 'Chariots of Fire.'


Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at December 17, 2012 05:29 PM (+k/kq)



How about the Complete Works of Ben Affleck?

Posted by: Jane D'oh, Life Coach at December 17, 2012 05:33 PM (UOM48)

328 This just in. (52-(100-71))% of people do not
understand what a semiautomatic weapon is and how it is different from
any other weapon.



Posted by: MikeTheMoose is Shrugging at December 17, 2012 05:19 PM (0q2P7)

_________________________________________________
That's true. Which is why it will be easy to ban them. Most people will have no clue what is being banned.

Posted by: Mr. Moo Moo at December 17, 2012 05:33 PM (HDgX3)

329
That was the People's Liberation Front of Canada, France, and Switzerland


SPLITTERS!

Posted by: The People's Liberation Front at December 17, 2012 05:33 PM (gCa4h)

330 damn. joke fail.

Posted by: The People's Liberation Front at December 17, 2012 05:34 PM (gCa4h)

331 I think part of the challenge is finding hope in what seems to be the most hopeless of situations. Those are the people I prefer to spend my time around. It's all a gift. . . the briefest moments, even when we are in misery.

Posted by: whobewut at December 17, 2012 05:34 PM (W5c4e)

332 Why, to give your hard earned money to the UAW?


Posted by: Mr. Moo Moo at December 17, 2012 05:30 PM (HDgX3)


Yeah.... at least when I bought my new Camaro, the money went to the CANADIAN Auto Workers! (built in the Oshawa Plant...)

Posted by: Romeo13 at December 17, 2012 05:35 PM (lZBBB)

333 >>I've had both C rats and MREs. Both had good and bad meals.


Posted by: fluffy at December 17, 2012 05:29 PM (O6q63)

I've had C rats cold at this time of year in Germany and thought they were the greatest friggin meal ever cuz I was cold and hungry,
ham and eggs chopped, spaghetti and meatballs etc.




Posted by: ontherocks at December 17, 2012 05:35 PM (aZ6ew)

334 Romeo13 how is your Camaro doing?

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at December 17, 2012 05:36 PM (+k/kq)

335 hey I am sure you all have heard we are crashing 2 lunar probes into the moon today or already have? Kinda seems like a risky thing to do. I saw this movie last night about the moon coming apart at the seams?

Posted by: Nevergiveup at December 17, 2012 05:36 PM (79ueO)

336 TWO grown sons with Aspergers at home.

Care to venture an opinion on the loving/nurturing scale of the family? I'm doing a less then scientific study and would value the input.

Posted by: Regular Moron at December 17, 2012 05:36 PM (feFL6)

337 Would I be the only person who knows? Or would everyone know? It would make a difference in my scenarios.

Posted by: toby928© Person of Pallor at December 17, 2012 05:37 PM (QupBk)

338 Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at December 17, 2012 05:36 PM (+k/kq)

Love it.... but can't drive it this week.... had surgery to repair a tendon in my right elbow last week, and its a Stick.... LOL

Posted by: Romeo13 at December 17, 2012 05:37 PM (lZBBB)

339 a week? One f+cking week???????


I'd go find the only girl I ever really, totally, crazily loved and apologize for not being the man I should have been


ain't that sad? Well, ain't it?

Posted by: sierra five at December 17, 2012 05:37 PM (Dll6b)

340 We can just tell these things.
.....that and the surveillance tape






Posted by: ontherocks at December 17, 2012 05:32 PM (aZ6ew)

No way....I never once took my laptop into the shower!!!


Posted by: Tami at December 17, 2012 05:37 PM (X6akg)

341 Would I be the only person who knows? Or would everyone know? It would make a difference in my scenarios.
Posted by: toby928© Person of Pallor at December 17, 2012 05:37 PM (QupBk)


If your the only one that know, more likely than not, you'd end up in the looney bin before you could get any.

Posted by: Nevergiveup at December 17, 2012 05:38 PM (79ueO)

342 To me, suicide is a very rational choice for a desperate person. There are plenty of "crazy" people walking around making quite rational choices.
Posted by: whobewut at December 17, 2012 05:32 PM (W5c4e)



Agreed. I believe there does come a point for somewhere it's the only reasonable choice. I'm also not convinced that it's a sin. Killing others - yeah - bad. Yourself? I don't really see much of a problem except to the extent that you're dodging responsibilities.

Posted by: Reactionary at December 17, 2012 05:38 PM (jfeoD)

343 336
TWO grown sons with Aspergers at home.



Care to venture an opinion on the loving/nurturing scale of the
family? I'm doing a less then scientific study and would value the
input.



Posted by: Regular Moron at December 17, 2012 05:36 PM (feFL6)



Nah. They're a great family, but the oldest son has temper outbursts. He's a big guy. Can get out of control, so they don't entertain often.

Still, they're great people. The dad does keep his guns under lock and key.

Posted by: Jane D'oh, Life Coach at December 17, 2012 05:39 PM (UOM48)

344 What was the name of the cult that cut of their balls and ate the poison pudding?

Little Green Footballs?

Posted by: Palandine at December 17, 2012 05:39 PM (g7D8V)

345 the most evil souls are sent to a place

in Hell where "The English Patient" is forever played on a giant screen

above them.

---

The trailers they played on TV for that movie showed Nazi paratroopers floating down in an assault on some city. The movie was getting excellent reviews. My wife wanted to see it and I thought, "WWII, Nazi paratroopers. How bad could it be?" Oh, I found out. Yes, I found out.

Posted by: WalrusRex at December 17, 2012 05:39 PM (XUKZU)

346 At least Ford did not get a bailout that resulted in the union owning the company. But most likely I will never get a new truck. Wifey does need a new car which we use for our trips. Her's is up to 90K miles now and they no longer make her model which was the best car Ford ever made. I am a Ford man but most likely her next car will be a Toyota Rav4.

Posted by: Vic at December 17, 2012 05:39 PM (53z96)

347 I've had C rats cold at this time of year in Germany and thought they were the greatest friggin meal ever cuz I was cold and hungry

Funny, that.

Best milk I ever had was in a box. Been out in the field for 5 days, or so.

Posted by: fluffy at December 17, 2012 05:39 PM (O6q63)

348 Would I be the only person who knows? Or would everyone know? It would make a difference in my scenarios.
Posted by: toby928© Person of Pallor at December 17, 2012 05:37 PM (QupBk)



I assumed this was how it would work - otherwise there is not much point to the exercise. It would be epic chaos.

Posted by: Reactionary at December 17, 2012 05:40 PM (jfeoD)

349 This "what if" is very upsetting to me. Especially in light of your real-world example.

But I'm very interested in knowing more about the feature film.

Posted by: Truman North (D) at December 17, 2012 05:40 PM (I2LwF)

350 344 What was the name of the cult that cut of their balls and ate the poison pudding?
Little Green Footballs?

Posted by: Palandine at December 17, 2012 05:39 PM (g7D8V)


Thread Winnah! You winz an Internetz!

Posted by: Romeo13 at December 17, 2012 05:40 PM (lZBBB)

351 I'd go find the only girl I ever really, totally, crazily loved and apologize for not being the man I should have been.

Nice try, but you still aren't getting in my pants. Not after that incident with the donkey.

Posted by: The only girl you ever really, totally, crazily loved at December 17, 2012 05:40 PM (SY2Kh)

352 Once you go bass ...

Posted by: the love that dare not speak it's name at December 17, 2012 05:41 PM (QupBk)

353 what she said...

Posted by: The girlfriend of the only girl you ever really, totally, crazily loved at December 17, 2012 05:42 PM (gCa4h)

354 Buying ANY Gm/Ford/Chrysler product, regardless where it was made is indirectly supporting the UAW. I will never buy an "American" car again. Plenty of cars made here by Honda, Toyota, Nissan, BMW, Mercedes, all at non-union plants in (mostly) red states.


Posted by: Mr. Moo Moo at December 17, 2012 05:42 PM (HDgX3)

355 Imma go on a world class bender, fall down, lose consciousness, concuss my head, pretend I have the stomach flu, and maybe God will give me an excuse to not testify before Him.

Posted by: Fritz at December 17, 2012 05:42 PM (K/NRd)

356 > 350 comments now, where are all those new cob loggers?

Posted by: Vic at December 17, 2012 05:42 PM (53z96)

357 >>No way....I never once took my laptop into the shower!!!

Posted by: Tami at December 17, 2012 05:37 PM (X6akg)




Not once huh?

We can do this the easy way or..... er, forget that



Don't make me go to the tape......

Posted by: ontherocks at December 17, 2012 05:42 PM (aZ6ew)

358 I wish I could transport myself to the set of The Five right now and punch Blob Beckel right in the face.

Posted by: Jane D'oh, Life Coach at December 17, 2012 05:43 PM (UOM48)

359 >>>350 comments now, where are all those new cob loggers?

Weeks worth of content from part time amateurs. Don't wanna use it all up on day 1 do you?

Posted by: MikeTheMoose is Shrugging at December 17, 2012 05:43 PM (0q2P7)

360 @NRO
VIDEO: On MSNBC, Jonathan Alter says NRA 'should be assaulted' for lack of patriotism - http://bit.ly/T3bQ8T

Heh. I'd like to see Alter try.

Posted by: weft cut-loop at December 17, 2012 05:43 PM (AsRy8)

361 Then the solution is simple. Ban all end-of-world prophecies.

Posted by: yinzer at December 17, 2012 05:44 PM (2GZPT)

362 If I were the only one to know, I would walk around with a sandwich board sign painted with The End Is Near and take pleasure knowing they would allremember me when the time came.

Posted by: polynikes at December 17, 2012 05:44 PM (m2CN7)

363 360
@NRO
VIDEO: On MSNBC, Jonathan Alter says NRA 'should be assaulted' for lack of patriotism - http://bit.ly/T3bQ8T

Heh. I'd like to see Alter try.

______________________

So now it's unpatriotic to want low taxes and to want to own a gun. Next up, it will be unpatriotic not to want to burn the flag.

Posted by: Mr. Moo Moo at December 17, 2012 05:45 PM (HDgX3)

364 I think hookers would get nervous if they had a sudden massive jump in clients from NSA and NASA.

Posted by: Invictus at December 17, 2012 05:45 PM (OQpzc)

365 Not once huh?

We can do this the easy way or..... er, forget that



Don't make me go to the tape......



Posted by: ontherocks at December 17, 2012 05:42 PM (aZ6ew)


Ok, ok.....once. That was you?!

Posted by: Tami at December 17, 2012 05:45 PM (X6akg)

366 Imma go on a world class bender, fall down, lose consciousness, concuss my head, pretend I have the stomach flu, and maybe God will give me an excuse to not testify before Him.

Posted by: Fritz at December 17, 2012 05:42 PM (K/NRd)

Worked for Hillary. But one hopes God and Congress are not of equal gullibility.

Posted by: stuiec at December 17, 2012 05:45 PM (Di3Im)

367 Hawaii Senator Daniel Inouye has just died.

http://bit.ly/YdBX1q

Posted by: The Political Hat at December 17, 2012 05:46 PM (XvHmy)

368 So now it's unpatriotic to want low taxes and to want to own a gun. Next up, it will be unpatriotic not to want to burn the flag.
Posted by: Mr. Moo Moo at December 17, 2012 05:45 PM (HDgX3)

At least they aren't using Counter-revolutionary yet.

Posted by: Invictus at December 17, 2012 05:46 PM (OQpzc)

369 ...I'm gonna hike my leg, pee all over "Daddy's" leg, bite "Mommy" and run like hell.....

Posted by: Bo the dog at December 17, 2012 05:46 PM (UOM48)

370 To me, suicide is a very rational choice for a desperate person. There are plenty of "crazy" people walking around making quite rational choices. Posted by: whobewut at December 17, 2012 05:32 PM (W5c4e) Agreed. I believe there does come a point for somewhere it's the only reasonable choice. I'm also not convinced that it's a sin. Killing others - yeah - bad. Yourself? I don't really see much of a problem except to the extent that you're dodging responsibilities.

Posted by: Reactionary at December 17, 2012 05:38 PM (jfeoD)

My fervent hope is that people will realize that if they must carry out murder-suicide, they ought always to commit the suicide part first.

Posted by: stuiec at December 17, 2012 05:47 PM (Di3Im)

371 Once you go bass ...
Posted by: the love that dare not speak it's name

You only fish at night?

Posted by: fluffy at December 17, 2012 05:47 PM (O6q63)

372 Hawaii Senator Daniel Inouye has just died.
http://bit.ly/YdBX1q

Posted by: The Political Hat at December 17, 2012 05:46 PM (XvHmy)

Sad news. He was a hero of WWII.

Posted by: stuiec at December 17, 2012 05:48 PM (Di3Im)

373 I would finally tell Anderson how I feel. *sigh*

Posted by: Don Lemon at December 17, 2012 05:48 PM (wAQA5)

374 >>>>Hawaii Senator Daniel Inouye has just died.


You know, the "As the Mayans Predicted" has just gotten not fun lately.

Posted by: MikeTheMoose is Shrugging at December 17, 2012 05:48 PM (0q2P7)

375 Hate to go off-topic so early in the thread *cough*, but does anyone here have any suggestions/advice on buying a turkey fryer? It's for a gift for a hipster family member. Seriously.

Posted by: Jane D'oh, Life Coach at December 17, 2012 05:49 PM (UOM48)

376 I am a Ford man but most likely her next car will be a Toyota Rav4.

The wife just got one of them on a lease and she luvs the thing. I'd luv to find something/anything wrong with it to prove how smart I am, but I can't find a damn thing wrong with it.

btw: You see how Japan switched to a 'conservative' government? The entire anti-nuke thing apparently didn't work out so well for the opposing party.

Posted by: Regular Moron at December 17, 2012 05:49 PM (feFL6)

377 No way....I never once took my laptop into the shower!!!




Posted by: Tami at December 17, 2012 05:37 PM (X6akg)
Like I'm dumb enough to implicate myself on these intertubes.I'm quite familiar with those obscure Conn felony laptop shower stalking blue laws......that won't work on this moron



Posted by: ontherocks at December 17, 2012 05:50 PM (aZ6ew)

378 That is sad news about Sen. Inouye. 442d Regimental Combat Team.
"Go For Broke!"

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at December 17, 2012 05:50 PM (+k/kq)

379 Hawaii Senator Daniel Inouye has just died.

Some day, archaeologists will complete their study of his fossilized remains.

Might be a while though. They only started studying them a couple of years ago.

Posted by: Hollowpoint at December 17, 2012 05:51 PM (SY2Kh)

380 "I believe it's important to consider all the possible ways Adam's
damaged mind could have arrived at a purely evil course of action."

WHY?

Posted by: Gerry at December 17, 2012 05:52 PM (Dq97n)

381 Hawaii Senator Daniel Inouye has just died. http://bit.ly/YdBX1q
Posted by: The Political Hat at December 17, 2012 05:46 PM (XvHmy)



Meh. One less Leftist. Alas - plenty more stand ready to fill his shoes.

Posted by: Reactionary at December 17, 2012 05:53 PM (jfeoD)

382 FYI, the Dem gov of Hawaii appoints replacement. Election to fill rest of term in '14. Election for full term in '16. This seat should be targeted for '14

Posted by: The Political Hat at December 17, 2012 05:53 PM (XvHmy)

383 Hate to go off-topic so early in the thread *cough*, but does anyone
here have any suggestions/advice on buying a turkey fryer? It's for a
gift for a hipster family member. Seriously.


I'd save yourself a few bucks and cut out the middleman. Just burn his house down now to get it over with.

Posted by: Hollowpoint at December 17, 2012 05:54 PM (SY2Kh)

384 >>Posted by: Jane D'oh, Life Coach at December 17, 2012 05:49 PM (UOM4

Walmart has a couple in the $100 range, and oil as well.

Have no idea how good they are.

Posted by: ontherocks at December 17, 2012 05:54 PM (aZ6ew)

385 This seat should be targeted for '14
Posted by: The Political Hat at December 17, 2012 05:53 PM (XvHmy)


It's Hawaii. Isn't that just a waste of cash? I don't see that place going Red.

Posted by: Reactionary at December 17, 2012 05:54 PM (jfeoD)

386 Posted by: Tami at December 17, 2012 05:37 PM (X6akg)
Like I'm dumb enough to implicate myself on these intertubes.I'm quite familiar with those obscure Conn felony laptop shower stalking blue laws......that won't work on this moron

Posted by: ontherocks at December 17, 2012 05:50 PM (aZ6ew)

Settle down, you two.
http://tinyurl.com/c2ekhld

Posted by: jwb7605 (Let It Burn) at December 17, 2012 05:55 PM (Qxe/p)

387 Liked most of "Melancholia" and still recommend it----but I really hate the aging "fixed it for you" internet game.
I'll go back to just reading the comments.

Posted by: farmersusie at December 17, 2012 05:55 PM (9zugO)

388 family member. Seriously.
Posted by: Jane D'oh, Life Coach at December 17, 2012 05:49 PM (UOM4

If they are bigger than a turkey they'll likely only wind up hidieously scarred.

Posted by: Invictus at December 17, 2012 05:55 PM (OQpzc)

389 New thread up. Smoking Gun mug shot. Pile on!

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at December 17, 2012 05:55 PM (+k/kq)

390 36
"When Worlds Collide."



How is it that the Earth gets destroyed but not the new planet? I forgot the plot.





Posted by: J.J. Sefton at December 17, 2012 04:24 PM (XkWWK)

I always liked Powerman 5000's take on it: http://tinyurl.com/dd6wbb

Posted by: kathysaysso at December 17, 2012 05:55 PM (y5uWA)

391 I remember Inouye from the Watergate hearings.

Posted by: ontherocks at December 17, 2012 05:56 PM (aZ6ew)

392 The edge of the known Universe? At near light speed? Have we found the edge of the Universe? Wouldn't it take a billion years to get there at light speed? Inquiring minds who miss the point wanna know.....

Posted by: maddogg at December 17, 2012 04:34 PM (OlN4e)

The plot point involves traveling at a speed close enough to that of light that the time dilation inside the spacecraft makes a journey of 14 billion light years seem to the passenger to be one of just a few weeks. Not that we ever expect her to arrive at her physical destination, only to come to terms with her fate and the fate of humankind. As GalosGann pointed out, "Stars, Won't You Hide Me?" uses the same plot device, with the last soldier of the Earth defense forces traveling at near-lightspeed so that the Others can't catch him, and so that time inside his ship goes slowly enough for him to make it to the Big Crunch -- meaning that humankind made it to the end of the Universe.

Posted by: stuiec at December 17, 2012 05:56 PM (Di3Im)

393 With pain and suffering? Helium bag of death.

Without pain and suffering? Probably nothing more than skip work and stay home with multiple guns by my side to protect the house from people who lose their minds.

Posted by: ALL_IS_LOST at December 17, 2012 05:58 PM (T/L2Z)

394 ship goes slowly enough for him to make it to the Big Crunch -- meaning that humankind made it to the end of the Universe.
Posted by: stuiec at December 17, 2012 05:56 PM (Di3Im)

If she gets to talk to God, have her ask why, as one ages, hair recedes from your forehead and then starts growing out your ears. How in hell is that a good design?

Posted by: Invictus at December 17, 2012 05:59 PM (OQpzc)

395 >>Settle down, you two.
http://tinyurl.com/c2ekhld


Posted by: jwb7605 (Let It Burn) at December 17, 2012 05:55 PM (Qxe/p)
Interesting, but not surprising. Was expecting to hear about this with the advent of streaming internet TV's.

Posted by: ontherocks at December 17, 2012 06:00 PM (aZ6ew)

396 It's Hawaii. Isn't that just a waste of cash? I don't see that place going Red.

Posted by: Reactionary at December 17, 2012 05:54 PM (jfeoD)


Indiana was a "waste of cash" for Dems this year... before they exploited "He who won't be named #2"

They have 20 seats up. The GOP are down 6 from control in the Senate. The GOP needs every seat we can get in order minimize the damage in the Presidential election year of 2016 when the GOP has 20 seats up, including in many normally blue states.

Posted by: The Political Hat at December 17, 2012 06:04 PM (XvHmy)

397 I'd save yourself a few bucks and cut out the middleman. Just burn his house down now to get it over with.


Posted by: Hollowpoint at December 17, 2012 05:54 PM (SY2Kh)



Dammit. That was my first choice.

Posted by: Jane D'oh, Life Coach at December 17, 2012 06:08 PM (UOM48)

398
Wow, Anna, thanks for reminding me of Chicken Ala King, and the reminiscent gag reflex it induced. Glutinous Glop was what I called it...I nearly preferred Dehydrated Beef Patty over that disgusting mess. Though, as you pointed out, it could be eaten at night when you didn't have to actually look at it. The only meal I ever ate that looked more appetizing after I threw it up.

Someone mentioned C-Rat Ham and Eggs....I was a big fan. I loved that stuff...the rest of my platoon hated it, so I ended up with three or four cans a day. A little part of me died the day the Army Veterinarians decided too many stray dogs died after being fed Ham and Eggs....and they went through each box, and removed those cans. If you got unlucky at lunch time, you enjoyed crackers and instant coffee powder for your meal...since the rest of the box was kept, and passed out to the unlucky soldiers that were being forced eat the other inedible crap.


Posted by: Sticky Wicket at December 17, 2012 06:09 PM (L7hol)

399 I do remember MRE's when they first came out

That was funny as hell, Sticky Wicket
You should write more often

Posted by: RayJ at December 17, 2012 06:15 PM (pI/IV)

400 mg what land animal could even beat the polar bear?


Ahem

Posted by: Coked up Honey Badger at December 17, 2012 06:45 PM (Z5BDI)

401 If she gets to talk to God, have her ask why, as one ages, hair recedes from your forehead and then starts growing out your ears. How in hell is that a good design?
Posted by: Invictus at December 17, 2012 05:59 PM (OQpzc)


Do what I do: comb over both ears to meet in the middle.

Posted by: stuiec at December 17, 2012 06:46 PM (hcgnv)

402 Why did he do it?
Why do some women have abortions?
Why do street punks knife women they don't know for a cigarette?
Why do ayyyrab rejects fire rockets DAILY since 1948?

Have you never been to Sunday School? Have your parents never explained that evil is a very real force in this world?

It is said by some that the greatest 'trick' the devil ever pulled was convincing humanity that he wasn't real.

I suggest you go to church, quickly while you still have questions burning inside you.

Posted by: Blacksmith8 at December 17, 2012 08:50 PM (Yzu6e)

403 Here's a better question: What if you suddenly woke up one day and realized that making fifty or sixty blog comments a day under sockpuppet ID's neither made you cool or the blog relevant.

Would you have the courage to go get a life?

I thought not.

Posted by: F. Lee Bailout at December 18, 2012 02:21 AM (yhjJ1)

404 Here's a better question: What if you suddenly woke up one day and realized that making fifty or sixty blog comments a day under sockpuppet ID's neither made you cool or the blog relevant.

TMI.

Posted by: toby928© for TB at December 18, 2012 07:30 AM (QupBk)






Processing 0.06, elapsed 0.0727 seconds.
15 queries taking 0.0204 seconds, 413 records returned.
Page size 203 kb.
Powered by Minx 0.7 alpha.

MuNuvians
MeeNuvians
Polls! Polls! Polls!
Frequently Asked Questions
The (Almost) Complete Paul Anka Integrity Kick
Top Top Tens
Greatest Hitjobs

The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon
A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates
Margaret Cho: Just Not Funny
More Margaret Cho Abuse
Margaret Cho: Still Not Funny
Iraqi Prisoner Claims He Was Raped... By Woman
Wonkette Announces "Morning Zoo" Format
John Kerry's "Plan" Causes Surrender of Moqtada al-Sadr's Militia
World Muslim Leaders Apologize for Nick Berg's Beheading
Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree
Milestone: Oliver Willis Posts 400th "Fake News Article" Referencing Britney Spears
Liberal Economists Rue a "New Decade of Greed"
Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility
Intelligence Officials Eye Blogs for Tips
They Done Found Us Out, Cletus: Intrepid Internet Detective Figures Out Our Master Plan
Shock: Josh Marshall Almost Mentions Sarin Discovery in Iraq
Leather-Clad Biker Freaks Terrorize Australian Town
When Clinton Was President, Torture Was Cool
What Wonkette Means When She Explains What Tina Brown Means
Wonkette's Stand-Up Act
Wankette HQ Gay-Rumors Du Jour
Here's What's Bugging Me: Goose and Slider
My Own Micah Wright Style Confession of Dishonesty
Outraged "Conservatives" React to the FMA
An On-Line Impression of Dennis Miller Having Sex with a Kodiak Bear
The Story the Rightwing Media Refuses to Report!
Our Lunch with David "Glengarry Glen Ross" Mamet
The House of Love: Paul Krugman
A Michael Moore Mystery (TM)
The Dowd-O-Matic!
Liberal Consistency and Other Myths
Kepler's Laws of Liberal Media Bias
John Kerry-- The Splunge! Candidate
"Divisive" Politics & "Attacks on Patriotism" (very long)
The Donkey ("The Raven" parody)
News/Chat