Turkeys, Sensing Weakness, Few Guns, Move to Take Over Brookline, MA

They're attacking people in the streets. Attacking cars. Attacking front doors. People are complaining to the police. The police.

I have an idea: Eat them.

From CBS Boston:

Neighbors are on the offensive in Brookline after what some residents are describing as aggressive turkeys.

“They were attacking the vehicle,” Karen Halvorson said outside her home in the Aspinwall Hill neighborhood.

After getting in her truck, a neighbor came and ran the birds off but it didn’t stop there.

“Then, the turkeys came and started attacking my front door,” she said.

A second run-in came a few weeks ago as she walked nearby.

“I looked back and three of them charged me,” she explained.

She moved to the center of the street to avoid the animals, but it wasn’t enough.

“The turkey flew in my face and scratched my neck,” she said.

Halvorson refuses to give up her walks so she has taken precautions.

“I went down to the hiking store and I got a hiking stick with a big ball on top of it. I walk with it all the time and now I never go without my phone,” she said.

(Emphasis mine.) Is it one of those really big phones from the 80's? The kind that are big enough to clock a turkey upside the head so that you can stick it in your fridge and then serve it later for dinner? If so, good thinking.

Verrier says there are basic things you can do to protect yourself. If you see a turkey, move to the other side of the street. Make noise or spray the turkey with water.

No, spray the turkey with Federal Premium Mag Shok Heavyweight turkey load.

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Posted by: rdbrewer at 08:45 AM



Comments

1 1st meatball in the South Park Episode

Posted by: DaveA (Just being a Moron) at November 21, 2012 08:55 PM (MOWP1)

2 Wow, Ace stomped so hard the story disappeared.

Posted by: JimboHoffa at November 21, 2012 08:59 PM (l5/b+)

3 Happy Thanksgiving Turkeys.

Posted by: Harry at November 21, 2012 09:03 PM (+BEaq)

4 They don't allow guns in Boston, do they?

Posted by: © Sponge at November 22, 2012 08:47 AM (nDcVA)

5 It's the Animal Conspiracy (as predicted by Tim Bedore)!
http://www.vaguebuttrue.com/

Posted by: Y-not at November 22, 2012 08:48 AM (5H6zj)

6 Truly this is the land of milk and honey. Half the world is starving and we get attacked by food.

Posted by: Pendejo Grande at November 22, 2012 08:51 AM (nv2Ve)

7 "People are complaining to the police. The police."

But......But......YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND!1! This is obviously a job for a Unionized Government Agency that is armed to the teeth!

Posted by: Mayor Bloomberg at November 22, 2012 08:54 AM (xehjI)

8 Well.....except for those icky National Guardsmen, of course!

Posted by: Mayor Bloomberg at November 22, 2012 08:54 AM (xehjI)

9
A few of the comments must have come from Ace's Time Displacement Machine.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, who did not vote for this shit. at November 22, 2012 08:55 AM (lOmbq)

10 Daighter is helping me make some side dishes for our Thanksgiving feast at my parents' house. Mom is cooking the devil bird!

Posted by: Jmel at November 22, 2012 08:55 AM (c+D8V)

11 So we did the brined turkey yesterday. First time I roasted a brined turkey. It certainly was juicy (although I'm pretty good at achieving that anyway), but I was not a big fan of the flavor. It's fine, but it just didn't seem like turkey.

Posted by: Y-not at November 22, 2012 08:55 AM (5H6zj)

12 10 Daighter is helping me make some side dishes for our Thanksgiving feast at my parents' house.

----

That must be nice.

One thing I do regret is never having the chance to do that with my mom. When we were first married we were too broke to travel and after that it just became too complicated. Plus, mom's kitchen was tiny so it would have been nigh on impossible for both of us to be in there.

I have fond memories of helping her every Thanksgiving and Christmas and of cleaning the silver for her.

Posted by: Y-not at November 22, 2012 08:57 AM (5H6zj)

13
What is best in life?

To baste your enemies, see them displayed before you with stuffing and cranberry sauce, and to hear the gobbles of the remaining hens.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, who did not vote for this shit. at November 22, 2012 08:57 AM (lOmbq)

14
It was like the turkeys mounted a counter-attack! It was almost as if they were...organized.

Posted by: Les Nesman, winner of last yeat's Buckeye News award at November 22, 2012 08:59 AM (xfWVe)

15 Millions of years of evolution, struggling to reach the top of the food chain, and now we run away from turkeys? Shame.

Posted by: Jay at November 22, 2012 09:01 AM (A5UMu)

16 Saw that episode last night, Les. Classic.

Posted by: Y-not at November 22, 2012 09:01 AM (5H6zj)

17 Of course they can't defend themselves against turkeys! It's not the state-sanctioned turkey hunting season! They don't have permits! Harming the turkeys would be cruel and racist and anthronormative! They could be arrested by the state if they resist!

Thus gay, communist blue-state once-America. What's so hard to understand? Except everything about them.

Posted by: Stu-22 at November 22, 2012 09:02 AM (k4bdL)

18 As God is my witness, I thought turkeys could fly.

Posted by: Arthur Carlson at November 22, 2012 09:02 AM (RDP+N)

19 Watching the local news.

I hate this time of year with the traffic fatalities.

Posted by: Y-not at November 22, 2012 09:02 AM (5H6zj)

20 Most folks around here would be delighted to have this problem. Usually the difficulty is luring the turkey in close, not warding them off....

Posted by: Grey Fox at November 22, 2012 09:03 AM (LQjA9)

21 They imported turkeys back into this area years ago. Did it for the hunting dontcha know. And they charged $20 for a single permit. $20 to shoot one bird. It was kind cool at first. Like a novelty. Kinda fun to hunt.
Now the turkeys are taking over. They are everywhere. They tear up pastures scratching for food. They're like black feral hogs with wings.

Posted by: In Cognito at November 22, 2012 09:04 AM (/tk/V)

22 LOL, I had this on the news thread.

Posted by: Vic at November 22, 2012 09:06 AM (YdQQY)

23 I like Winchester Supreme turkey loads in #4's. An added bonus , the shells are black , so non racist , which is nice .
Remington's are green and only for use by smelly hippies .

Posted by: awkward davies at November 22, 2012 09:07 AM (USjX1)

24 Shotgun, any gauge, any load. 5 mins. Problem solved.

Posted by: TheSev at November 22, 2012 09:08 AM (iHeMr)

25 Has Alfred Hitchcock made his cameo appearance yet?

Posted by: TheQuietMan at November 22, 2012 09:08 AM (mzIHh)

26 What a bunch o' pussies that is.

Posted by: pearlhandledpain at November 22, 2012 09:09 AM (hCPTB)

27 Does anyone know someone who does the camping out for Black Friday crap? They just saw some idiots camping out in front of Best Buy.

Posted by: Y-not at November 22, 2012 09:09 AM (5H6zj)

28 I have never gone turkey hunting but I have a question. Do you have to rape them after you shoot them?

Posted by: Cicero Skip at November 22, 2012 09:09 AM (LyFx9)

29 Are ther any plans to bring back wolves and bears to Brookline? Cause if they do,things are going to get real interesting inm about 20 years. Go Bears.

Posted by: Hammer at November 22, 2012 09:10 AM (5buGz)

30 I have said recently that America is ripe for being taken over by 6 unarmed antagonists. I have thought they might speak Chinese, Spanish or possibly Farsi/Arabic. I never thought Gobble. You will neverl see them coming.

Posted by: dfbaskwill at November 22, 2012 09:11 AM (ndlFj)

31 @ #13 BackwardsBoy: Was that Conan the Bastarian or Attila the Honey-BBQer?

Posted by: MtTB at November 22, 2012 09:11 AM (xehjI)

32 Brookline, you say? *strokes chin thoughtfully and calculates gasoline cost*

And, Happy Thanksgiving, Morons!

Posted by: lauraw at November 22, 2012 09:12 AM (yGblt)

33
Are ther any plans to bring back wolves and bears to Brookline? Cause if they do,things are going to get real interesting inm about 20 years. Go Bears.

We have plenty of alligators down here we can send them.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, who did not vote for this shit. at November 22, 2012 09:12 AM (lOmbq)

34 Annoying MA libtard turkey + baseball bat to noggin= dinner!

Posted by: if my Aunt had nuts she'd be my Uncle at November 22, 2012 09:12 AM (8EKcT)

35 "I am on this account not displeased that the Figure
is not known as a Bald Eagle, but looks more like a Turkey. For the
Truth the Turkey is in Comparison a much more respectable Bird, and
withal a true original Native of America... He is besides, though a
little vain silly, a Bird of Courage, and would not hesitate to
attack a Grenadier of the British Guards who should presume to invade
his Farm Yard with a red Coat on."

Posted by: Ben Franklin at November 22, 2012 09:12 AM (bAGA/)

36 I have never gone turkey hunting but I have a question. Do you have to rape them after you shoot them?

Posted by: Cicero Skip at November 22, 2012 09:09 AM (LyFx9)


Only if you're a muslam and you're hunting goats.

Posted by: © Sponge at November 22, 2012 09:12 AM (nDcVA)

37 http://terrordaves.files.wordpress.com/2010/11/thankskilling_killer_turkey.jpg

Posted by: Vic at November 22, 2012 09:12 AM (YdQQY)

38 Alligators would be good. Go Gaters.

Posted by: Hammer at November 22, 2012 09:13 AM (5buGz)

39
After repeatedly clashing with co-anchors and overseeing plummeting
ratings, the Today show´s Matt Lauer is reportedly being given the boot.


http://tinyurl.com/al6mxfj

Posted by: Doctor Fish at November 22, 2012 09:14 AM (lDWQr)

40
@ #13 BackwardsBoy: Was that Conan the Bastarian or Attila the Honey-BBQer?

Neither. It was Genghis Khan (of Cranberry).

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, who did not vote for this shit. at November 22, 2012 09:14 AM (lOmbq)

41 A few leg snares, certainly They can't ban trapping on your own lawn.

Posted by: Jean at November 22, 2012 09:15 AM (LnQr8)

42 El pavo se Reconquista!

Posted by: Cicero Kid at November 22, 2012 09:15 AM (ITxHU)

43
I think they have too much turkey -- Wild Turkey.

Posted by: Walkers! at November 22, 2012 09:15 AM (TYO2p)

44 Truly this is the land of milk and honey. Half the world is starving and we get attacked by food.

Not only that, but thanks to Subway and its 'five-dollar foot-long' we can now buy food by the foot.

Posted by: Schrödinger's cat at November 22, 2012 09:15 AM (CsmCk)

45
If a turkey comes flying in your face, you punch it.

I love the pile of sticks. You know these people are libtards.

Posted by: Walkers! at November 22, 2012 09:16 AM (TYO2p)

46 Turkey in Wonderland:
"Eat me."

Posted by: Lessons from the Ceramic Throne at November 22, 2012 09:16 AM (ze9yk)

47 Do you have to rape them after you shoot them ?
Why yes , yes you do , but we prefer to keep that part of the hunt on the down low as here in S.C. we're only allowed to hunt male turkeys .

Posted by: awkward davies at November 22, 2012 09:16 AM (USjX1)

48 The turkeys have come home to roast.

Posted by: rickl at November 22, 2012 09:17 AM (sdi6R)

49 They may be reacting to a descendant of Squanto being elected to the Senate from their state.

Posted by: JoJo at November 22, 2012 09:17 AM (MSrqi)

50 Are there any plans to bring back wolves and bears to Brookline?

Well why not. They voted to bring back the Indian.
Maybe you could just slaughter every thirty-second turkey.

Posted by: comatus at November 22, 2012 09:17 AM (qaVK+)

51 Was Brookline one of those places that went 100% for Obama? I'm thinking yes.

Posted by: ktgreat at November 22, 2012 09:17 AM (Rcq5f)

52 But......But......YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND!1! This is obviously a job for a Unionized Government Agency that is armed to the teeth!
Posted by: Mayor Bloomberg at November 22, 2012 08:54 AM (xehjI)

Chickens don't have teeth.

Posted by: Lessons from the Ceramic Throne at November 22, 2012 09:17 AM (ze9yk)

53 I have never gone turkey hunting but I have a question. Do you have to rape them after you shoot them?

Only if your name is Barney Frank, and only the toms.

He prefers one of those pink lady-guns, I hear.

Posted by: Stu-22 at November 22, 2012 09:17 AM (k4bdL)

54 So why don't those people just invite the turkeys over for dinner?

Problem solved.

Posted by: HH at November 22, 2012 09:17 AM (XXwdv)

55 Turkeys are assholes..If you ever run into a bunch of them on the road be prepared for slow going. They line themselves up across the road so you can't go around them, then they just walk at a very slow pace. Nothing scares them, you can honk the horn and they will just turn around and give you a dirty look and keep on slow walking.

Posted by: Molly k. at November 22, 2012 09:18 AM (f+coI)

56 Two new threads on Thanksgiving morning...........why back in the old days, we would get one half-ass open thread around noon and that was it............and we liked it! These younger morons are sooo spoiled.

Posted by: Mallamutt, RINO President for Life at November 22, 2012 09:18 AM (OWjjx)

57 >>48 The turkeys have come home to roast.

Thread-winner

Posted by: Y-not at November 22, 2012 09:19 AM (5H6zj)

58 Here only 10-ish miles outside of NYC, we have turkeys & deer traipsing through our yards and by law we are not permitted to shoot,dress,cook,eat - ahem, 'control' the population on our own property. Oh, and bears are now showing up, too, and it's 'cruel' when the animal control officers shoot them.

I wonder what early settlers would think of our pussified-by-over-legislation society?

Posted by: RondinellaMamma at November 22, 2012 09:19 AM (53riN)

59 Wifey is cooking chicken for me. I am boycotting turkey.

Posted by: sTevo at November 22, 2012 09:19 AM (VMcEw)

60 Wild turkeys are a hoot. I had a friend whose yard was 'invaded' by a roost (~12 birds). The dept. of conservation came and shot a cannon/net thing over them and captured them for relocation. By the time they did this, the birds were virtually domesticated. I'm pretty sure they want to be eaten...

Posted by: Brave Sir Robin at November 22, 2012 09:19 AM (Nc/0B)

61 Nothing scares them

They run from me. Probably cause they are Jewish tuirkeys.

Posted by: Helen Thomas at November 22, 2012 09:20 AM (OWjjx)

62 Chickens don't have teeth

How could they have teeth, their peckers are on their face

Posted by: Cicero Skip at November 22, 2012 09:20 AM (LyFx9)

63 I suggest introducing packs of predatory beasts to Brookline, in order to control the turkey (and retarded communist human) problem in a safe, organic, earth-friendly way.

Posted by: Stu-22 at November 22, 2012 09:20 AM (k4bdL)

64
Holy crap, the thread is back.



And yes, turkeys can fly. I had to replace a windshield last year because of one, and a pair of pants.

Posted by: JimboHoffa at November 22, 2012 09:21 AM (l5/b+)

65
They don't allow guns in Boston, do they?


IIRC there's a Federal law prohibiting discharge of a firearm within 300' of a structure. IIRC Brookline correctly, the whole place is pretty much within 300' of some sort of building.

Brookline (and Newton which is right next door) are the festering hard core of liberalism in MA.

I lived in both Newton and Brookline in the early 80's. Its Indian country... Warren, not dot.

Posted by: @PurpAv at November 22, 2012 09:21 AM (vE2xL)

66 58 Here only 10-ish miles outside of NYC, we have turkeys & deer traipsing through our yards and by law we are not permitted to shoot,dress,cook,eat - ahem, 'control' the population on our own property.
----
How big are your lots?

We have tons of deer (and quail and pheasant) and Utah is certainly a hunter's, but I never hear anyone shooting them. It's too suburban for that.

Posted by: Y-not at November 22, 2012 09:21 AM (5H6zj)

67 I have never gone turkey hunting but I have a question. Do you have to rape them after you shoot them?
Posted by: Cicero Skip at November 22, 2012 09:09 AM (LyFx9)

No, you have to keep the proper sequence in mind:
Plunder, THEN burn;
Rape, THEN kill.
I'ts pretty messy when you get them backwards.

Posted by: Lessons from the Ceramic Throne at November 22, 2012 09:21 AM (ze9yk)

68 Molly...and I'm getting they do this on purpose...I'm with you! Total assholes!

Posted by: if my Aunt had nuts she'd be my Uncle at November 22, 2012 09:22 AM (8EKcT)

69
Bronco Bamma on Thanksgiving.

"It’s a day to fight the overwhelming urge to take a nap — at least until after dinner."

Very inspirational and uplifting message from the Pretender-in-Chief.

Posted by: Doctor Fish at November 22, 2012 09:22 AM (lDWQr)

70
Turkeys are assholes.

Try having pea fowl in your neighborhood. They're much worse, mostly because you can't eat them (or at least, not that I know of).

They screech loudly at all hours of the night, and if you have a convertible, you won't have a top or interior for long. They'll destroy both, fly up into a nearby tree and squawk at you while you're calling your insurance agent.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, who did not vote for this shit. at November 22, 2012 09:23 AM (lOmbq)

71 I had to replace a windshield last year because of one, and a pair of pants.

what were your pants doing on the windshield?

Posted by: Cicero Skip at November 22, 2012 09:23 AM (LyFx9)

72 Is POTUS For Life in the country right now? I thought he hi-tailed it to China or Russia or some such.

Posted by: Y-not at November 22, 2012 09:23 AM (5H6zj)

73 My daughter was out riding in the field next door and the horse came up on a flock of turkey chicks.

The horse reared up and she slid of and landed on the ground. The turkey chicks flapped their wings and climbed up on her.

She said it happened so quick but 5 seconds felt like 2 minutes.

Posted by: sTevo at November 22, 2012 09:23 AM (VMcEw)

74 You guys should watch my documentary , the birds.

Posted by: Alfred Hitchcock at November 22, 2012 09:23 AM (AWmfW)

75 "Do you have to rape them before you shoot them?"

Whew, I got here just in time. Never, ever, try to rape a live gobbler. Have you ever seen the spurs on a mature, wild tom?

You could end up getting that vasectomy a few years earlier than planned.

First you kill em. Then you pluck em nice and smooth. Then you butter em up.
Surely this is all in the AoS survival guide somewhere.

Posted by: In Cognito at November 22, 2012 09:24 AM (RYVE/)

76 The next big crisis to come out of Brookline. Wild Turkeys are attacking the homeless. And the citizens of Brookline response....are the homeless's injuries covered by Obamacare?

Posted by: Mallamutt, RINO President for Life at November 22, 2012 09:24 AM (OWjjx)

77 Speaking of game birds, my favorite animal grouping name is "party" as in "party of quail."

Posted by: Y-not at November 22, 2012 09:24 AM (5H6zj)

78 Posted by: Molly k. at November 22, 2012 09:18 AM (f+coI)

Have the same problem here with Geese. Funny thing is, you nudge them with the car, they move.

Posted by: HH at November 22, 2012 09:24 AM (XXwdv)

79 Rick Perry what knows how to deal with viscious animals attacking while out ambulating. Just saying ...

Posted by: Count de Monet at November 22, 2012 09:25 AM (BAS5M)

80 Subsonic .22 is a big seller

Posted by: Jean at November 22, 2012 09:26 AM (g2ldK)

81 How big are your lots?

Posted by: Y-not at November 22, 2012 09:21 AM (5H6zj)

We are in complete suburbia here ( although, can't keep daughter's rabbit outside due to coyotes...), but my property is at the base of a mountain and bordered by a partial and tiny forest . The upside is we are in total lib-territory so a few random shots might also decrease the dem population..I'm just sayin'...

Posted by: RondinellaMamma at November 22, 2012 09:27 AM (53riN)

82 They came for the EBT cards.

Posted by: JWF at November 22, 2012 09:27 AM (Tl/Ls)

83 65
They don't allow guns in Boston, do they?

IIRC there's a Federal law prohibiting discharge of a firearm within 300' of a structure. IIRC Brookline correctly, the whole place is pretty much within 300' of some sort of building.

Brookline (and Newton which is right next door) are the festering hard core of liberalism in MA.

I lived in both Newton and Brookline in the early 80's. Its Indian country... Warren, not dot.
Posted by: @PurpAv at November 22, 2012 09:21 AM (vE2xL)
Sounds like a place where some alternative turkey-collecting techniques might be useful - longbow, crossbow, snares, sticky surfaces, etc.,....

Posted by: Grey Fox at November 22, 2012 09:27 AM (LQjA9)

84
Try having pea fowl in your neighborhood. They're much worse, mostly because you can't eat them (or at least, not that I know of).




Peafowl is a fine meal.

Posted by: Cicero Kid at November 22, 2012 09:28 AM (ITxHU)

85 What's that? He said "after you shoot them?"

Never mind.

Posted by: In Cognito at November 22, 2012 09:28 AM (JCIjD)

86 They came for the EBT cards.

And calling them wild turkeys is racially insensitive. They are undocumented turkeys. Racist.

Posted by: Mallamutt, RINO President for Life at November 22, 2012 09:28 AM (OWjjx)

87 Guinea hens are actually more stupid than turkeys.

Posted by: Vic at November 22, 2012 09:29 AM (YdQQY)

88
Doctor Fish @ 39:

.....Today show´s Matt Lauer is reportedly being given the boot.

Good. But as long as they attempt to stick with the usual morning venue of introducing retarded liberal douches, like Kim Kardashian on the best way to beat your maid until she gets the Turkey right, idiotic recipes that no one attempts to try, and saccharin infused news coverage, they'll continue failing.

Which is just fine by me.

Posted by: Sticky Wicket at November 22, 2012 09:29 AM (L7hol)

89 There's a few wild peacocks roaming around down in the western part Delray Beach out by the swamp. They're quite uncooperative.

The turkey vultures seem pretty smart while they're picking over roadkill. They're not defiant.

Posted by: @PurpAv at November 22, 2012 09:29 AM (vE2xL)

90 Subsonic .22 is a big seller

I agree not a real noise maker
My previous neighbor shot a skunk outside my bedroom window early one morning with a .22 short rifle, never heard a sound but sure did smell the results. The damn skunk was destroying his front porch. Damn thing died under the gas meter, and he pumped a few more rounds into him as I watched for witnesses

Posted by: Cicero Skip at November 22, 2012 09:30 AM (LyFx9)

91
snares,




Better be wearing armour when you attempt to catch a live one....

Posted by: Cicero Kid at November 22, 2012 09:30 AM (ITxHU)

92 Happy Thankgiving hope you all have a wonderful day with family and friends...

Posted by: phoenixgirl in L.A. at November 22, 2012 09:30 AM (6jHsU)

93 >>89 There's a few wild peacocks roaming around

That's kinda cool.

I dig the calls peacocks make. So jungle-y.

Posted by: Y-not at November 22, 2012 09:31 AM (5H6zj)

94 IIRC there's a Federal law prohibiting discharge of a firearm within
300' of a structure. IIRC Brookline correctly, the whole place is pretty
much within 300' of some sort of building.



I have looked at federal laws extensively and I have never seen one for that. What I have seen is that local hunting laws have provisions like that and local gun laws prohibit discharging a firearm in ANY residential area.

That is what we have here and the reason I can't take the shotgun and shoot all the damn cow birds raiding my bird feeder (sheriff lives about 300 feet down the road)

Posted by: Vic at November 22, 2012 09:31 AM (YdQQY)

95 A pack of wild dogs would solve alt of problems.

Posted by: Jean at November 22, 2012 09:32 AM (g2ldK)

96 >>Subsonic .22 is a big seller

---
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/.300_Whisper

Subsonic is catching on. Was gonna post this yesterday.

Posted by: sTevo at November 22, 2012 09:32 AM (VMcEw)

97 Snares? Longbows? We harvested one of the aforementioned birds w/a hand-full of corn and a machete. Mmmm, poached wildlife is so much sweeter...

Posted by: Brave Sir Robin at November 22, 2012 09:33 AM (Nc/0B)

98 Send in the Mike Dukakis Tank Brigade

Posted by: Bloody Mary at November 22, 2012 09:34 AM (ZRoGl)

99
Theycould ship the turkeys to MD and tax them to death.
Top Five States with Tax Hike in Fiscal Cliff Stalemate

...Maryland was ranked second by the Tax Foundation because a four-person family there, with a median income of $106,707, would see its taxes go up 6.74 percent as a percentage of income, or about $7,194...
shar.es/GPkE0

Posted by: spypeach at November 22, 2012 09:34 AM (pwTow)

100 pixy quit eating my spaces

Posted by: spypeach at November 22, 2012 09:36 AM (pwTow)

101 73-sTevo " chicks flapped their wings and jumped on her"

Those turkey chicks learned that from their parents....they are being Taught that humans are bad. That they are immoral, and the enemy and must be killed. Its not their fault..libtard turkeys are so divisive....but we must reach out to the young.

Posted by: if my Aunt had nuts she'd be my Uncle at November 22, 2012 09:36 AM (8EKcT)

102 It was like the turkeys mounted a counter-attack! It was almost as if they were...organized.

Posted by: Les Nesman, winner of last yeat's Buckeye News award at November 22, 2012 08:59 AM (xfWVe)

Oh the humanity

Posted by: TheQuietMan at November 22, 2012 09:37 AM (mzIHh)

103 Happy Thanksgiving to the Moron Horde.

Remember after an hour of high heat, turn the oven down to 325. Nothing worse that an over cooked hobo.


Posted by: Billy Bob, pseudo intellectual at November 22, 2012 09:38 AM (wR+pz)

104 Wow. I hadn't seen the Daniel Boone tv show in so long. I had forgotten how fine his wife was. And bonus, that's right, ginger.

Posted by: In Cognito at November 22, 2012 09:38 AM (cWpCn)

105
Happy Thankgiving hope you all have a wonderful day with family and friends...

And a Happy Thanksgiving to you and the rest of the Moron Horde. We have a nice afternoon planned at the kid's place, DIL (who is a great cook) told us to be there in between football games. Also, we get to see the new great-grandbaby for the first time, he's almost a month old. B'Gal can hardly contain herself at the thought of cuddling a newborn. I'll try to show him the subleties of the West Coast offense and teach him to say "Roll Tide," which will be imprinted upon his little subconsciousness.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, who did not vote for this shit. at November 22, 2012 09:38 AM (lOmbq)

106
If they're not into guns in MA, no biggie. Most people could killa turkeywith no more aid than a heavy stick or a well-aimed rock. No offense to turkeys, but they're moretasty treats thanthey are masters of self-defense. Maybe the Stateshould give out turkey-clubbing licenses instead of free Oven Stuffers.

Posted by: Lincolntf at November 22, 2012 09:39 AM (tkoGU)

107 Bumpass' hounds would take care of the overpopulation.

Posted by: Nottafinga! at November 22, 2012 09:39 AM (BAS5M)

108 Eley has subsonic .22 ammo.

Posted by: @PurpAv at November 22, 2012 09:40 AM (vE2xL)

109 I know one of the co-bloggers or Ace will put up the annual pilgrim cat and dog but before they do that there’s this:

http://is.gd/0zDhvk

and this

http://is.gd/C6t2M2

And finally one of my favorites from long ago, too much dinner

http://is.gd/O2idQK


Happy Thanksgiving Morons and Moronettes and all the bloggers here who we owe so much to.

Posted by: Vic at November 22, 2012 09:40 AM (YdQQY)

110 90
Subsonic .22 is a big seller



I agree not a real noise maker

My previous neighbor shot a skunk outside my bedroom window early
one morning with a .22 short rifle, never heard a sound but sure did
smell the results. The damn skunk was destroying his front porch. Damn
thing died under the gas meter, and he pumped a few more rounds into him
as I watched for witnesses


They also work on crows. Just remember they have a very short range and start dropping pretty quickly. I usually site in a little above Mr Crow. Opossums also love their taste.

A 177 is another alternative.

Posted by: Billy Bob, pseudo intellectual at November 22, 2012 09:41 AM (wR+pz)

111
4 They don't allow guns in Boston, do they?

No, but if they were turkeys from Brookline NH, they would be dinner by now!

Posted by: NHExpat at November 22, 2012 09:43 AM (bl6Iq)

112 106
If they're not into guns in MA, no biggie. Most people could killa turkeywith no more aid than a heavy stick or a well-aimed rock. No offense to turkeys, but they're moretasty treats thanthey are masters of self-defense. Maybe the Stateshould give out turkey-clubbing licenses instead of free Oven Stuffers.Posted by: Lincolntf at November 22, 2012 09:39 AM (tkoGU)
Heh. They would learn very fast, though. They are one of the hardest animals in North America to hunt - they see very well and are very canny when they are used to being hunted. That is one of the things that is so funny about this story.

Posted by: Grey Fox at November 22, 2012 09:43 AM (LQjA9)

113
And finally one of my favorites from long ago, too much dinner

http://is.gd/O2idQK


Heh. Lol@cat.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, who did not vote for this shit. at November 22, 2012 09:44 AM (lOmbq)

114 Not to worry, folks. She's working with the Town Council to organize a meeting about this. Yeah. Let's have a meeting- that'll show 'em.
***[shakes his head in bemusement]***

Posted by: Lessons from the Ceramic Throne at November 22, 2012 09:44 AM (ze9yk)

115 This may come as a shock to those rons and ettes that live behind the liberal iron curtain but wild turkeys that get hunted do not , I repeat , do not act like the aforementioned birds . Trying to get within shotgun range of our birds takes real skills . Just sayin.

Posted by: awkward davies at November 22, 2012 09:45 AM (USjX1)

116 Straight outta Brookline, yo!

Posted by: The Turkey Boys at November 22, 2012 09:46 AM (yC885)

117 Grey fox beat me to it .

Posted by: awkward davies at November 22, 2012 09:46 AM (USjX1)

118 >>Trying to get within shotgun range of our birds takes real skills . Just sayin.



Posted by: awkward davies
---
A friend of mine uses a blind.

Posted by: sTevo at November 22, 2012 09:46 AM (VMcEw)

119 Seriously? We have citizens being attacked by turkeys? And they don't know what to do???


If all else fails, kick it in the fucking head!




Happy Scary Bird Day Morons!

Posted by: BCochran1981 at November 22, 2012 09:48 AM (GEICT)

120 We are calling for the greedy Ace of Spades, CEO living in his mansion, to allow for union elections of his bloggers who are forced to be away from their families on this holiday

We are hereby calling on working people everywhere to protest the cruel conditions that Mr Of Spades forces his bloggers to labor under without health benefits or a living wage

We'd be there with you to, but Walmart has fantastic deals on 60 inch TVs and we don't want to miss out


Posted by: Blog Employees International Union at November 22, 2012 09:48 AM (wwsoB)

121 If you eat enough of them they stop fighting.

Posted by: Gen. Curtis LeCranberry at November 22, 2012 09:49 AM (MOWP1)

122 Killing turkeys out of season however you do it will get you in big trouble. Not just with the city, but these guys.


http://tinyurl.com/c9cyf93

Posted by: Billy Bob, pseudo intellectual at November 22, 2012 09:49 AM (wR+pz)

123 Yesterday, I told a little girl named Sally the story of the Great Turkey.
Last night she went with me to the turkey patch where we sat down and were very quiet while we waited. And waited.
And the moon came up and we waited some more.

What's that? Great Pumpkin?

Oh.

Posted by: In Cognito at November 22, 2012 09:49 AM (+jNI+)

124 My little brother used to hunt wild turkeys down in GA. He'd get really decked out in camo and use a call. He quit though after a few years because it was so much trouble and wild turkeys really are not good eating.


They are tough and have very little meat.


Posted by: Vic at November 22, 2012 09:49 AM (YdQQY)

125
Here only 10-ish miles outside of NYC, we have turkeys deer
traipsing through our yards and by law we are not permitted to
shoot,dress,cook,eat - ahem, 'control' the population on our own
property. Oh, and bears are now showing up, too, and it's 'cruel' when
the animal control officers shoot them.



I wonder what early settlers would think of our pussified-by-over-legislation society?

Posted by: RondinellaMamma at November 22, 2012 09:19 AM



They would hie themselves off to a new continent and start a new country down the road a bit.

Posted by: huerfano at November 22, 2012 09:49 AM (bAGA/)

126 I had an out of state MA carry permit for a Beretta 92F for a while when I was up there for an extended contract gig. It was quite easy to obtain, and issued at the state, not local, level.

The part of Cambridge I was staying in was pretty hostile ground. I was glad I had it. The news blacks out reporting street violence there, but there was a lot of it in east end of Cambridge.

I'm told a MA resident getting a carry permit is a hit/miss proposition dependent on local police whim.

Posted by: @PurpAv at November 22, 2012 09:50 AM (vE2xL)

127 Speaking of 'they stop fighting', any word on the ceasefire?

Posted by: sTevo at November 22, 2012 09:50 AM (VMcEw)

128 The Pilgrims were communists. That's a lesson you'll never get in public school.

Posted by: Michael Rittenhouse at November 22, 2012 09:51 AM (2Oas0)

129 Kill 'em , drive 'em away, either one works.

We used to have a spotin Worcester (Grafton Hill if anyone knows Worcester) where the turkeys would block the road leading into a housing development all the time. I was working up there one day and I see this lady come out in her backyard with what must have been a 5 pound bag of seed and start calling and feeding dozens of them. She looked like a turkey shepherd surrounded by her flock. Not a very popular lady with the neighbors, it turned out.

Posted by: Lincolntf at November 22, 2012 09:51 AM (tkoGU)

130 kill 'em...just kill 'em all and let their turkey god sort 'em out

Posted by: MoeRon at November 22, 2012 09:51 AM (PKCB1)

131 I do too Stevo , on occasion but one has to be ready to leave the blind and get after 'em if they don't want to cooperate , which happens a lot .
I've only killed about 10% of my gobblers out of a blind , mostly I use a gillie suit and kinda' turn myself into an ambulatory blind .

Posted by: awkward davies at November 22, 2012 09:51 AM (USjX1)

132 Link that didn't show in 128.

Posted by: Michael Rittenhouse at November 22, 2012 09:51 AM (2Oas0)

133 Just a question. Isn't Brookline a Jewish suburb? Are these turkeys kosher? If not, maybe they could kill them for religious reasons.


Yeah, that's it. The Rabbi told me no non kosher stuff in my yard.

Posted by: Billy Bob, pseudo intellectual at November 22, 2012 09:51 AM (wR+pz)

134 Why doesn't Marklar allow the Marklars to marklar the marklars. Then they could have marklar with marklar and marklar for all the Marklars.

It's so obvious and simple.

Posted by: Marklar at November 22, 2012 09:51 AM (BeSEI)

135 DO LINKS NO LONGER WORK HERE?

Posted by: Michael Rittenhouse at November 22, 2012 09:52 AM (2Oas0)

136 Why use buckshot when you can just shoot 'em through the head with a .22? Used to hunt grouse that way and it was so much better than picking the shot out of the meat.

Posted by: tcn at November 22, 2012 09:52 AM (VLG62)

137 The Pilgrims were communists. That's a lesson you'll never get in public school.

Posted by: Michael Rittenhouse at November 22, 2012 09:51 AM (2Oas0)

But they abandoned that fairly quick after they almost starved to death and realized it did not work. The US will have to relearn the hard way.

Posted by: Vic at November 22, 2012 09:52 AM (YdQQY)

138 The Pilgrims were communists. That's a lesson you'll never get in public school.

Posted by: Michael Rittenhouse at November 22, 2012 09:51 AM



Yes, they were and they remained so until they discovered that the cure for starving to death was to allow private land ownership and letting people keep the fruits of their labor.

Posted by: huerfano at November 22, 2012 09:53 AM (bAGA/)

139
She's working with the Town Council to organize a meeting about this. Yeah. Let's have a meeting- that'll show 'em.

Quint stands to speak at the Brookline Town Council:
"Y'all know me. Know how I earn a livin'. I'll catch this bird for you, but it ain't gonna be easy. Bad bird. Not like going down the pond chasin' bluegills and tommycods. This bird , peck you whole. Little shakin', little tenderizin', an' down you go. And we gotta do it quick, that'll bring back your tourists, put all your businesses on a payin' basis. But it's not gonna be pleasant. I value my neck a lot more than three thousand bucks, chief. I'll find him for three, but I'll catch him, and kill him, for ten. But you've gotta make up your minds. If you want to stay alive, then ante up. If you want to play it cheap, be on welfare the whole winter. I don't want no volunteers, I don't want no mates, there's just too many captains on this island. $10,000 for me by myself. For that you get the neck, the gizzards, the whole damn thing."

Posted by: Count de Monet at November 22, 2012 09:53 AM (BAS5M)

140 What would a stun gun do to a turkey?

Posted by: MoeRon at November 22, 2012 09:54 AM (PKCB1)

141
DO LINKS NO LONGER WORK HERE?

Posted by: Michael Rittenhouse at November 22, 2012 09:52 AM (2Oas0)

You can no longer post a link directly in the comments. You can post a shortened link text in the comments that people can use to open in new tab.

Posted by: Vic at November 22, 2012 09:54 AM (YdQQY)

142 I remember watching that WKRP episode when it aired originally. I laughed so hard I cried at the turkeys could fly line. Probably the best comedic timing ever.

Also, Rush has been telling the pilgrims were Commies story for what, 20 years, and now people are getting it?

Posted by: Golan Globus at November 22, 2012 09:55 AM (/1U3u)

143 Umm , wrong Vic . Much as it pains me to write that .

Even our gobblers which run on the small side can go around 20 lbs . After dressing you're still left with a 10 lb . bird .
If the bird is 5 yrs old they can be tough but other than that , delicious .

Posted by: awkward davies at November 22, 2012 09:55 AM (USjX1)

144 135
DO LINKS NO LONGER WORK HERE?

Posted by: Michael Rittenhouse at November 22, 2012 09:52 AM

Until the greedy CEO of Ace of Spades pay them a living wage with health benefits, links are on strike

Posted by: Blog Employees International Union at November 22, 2012 09:56 AM (wwsoB)

145 working up there one day and I see this lady come
out in her backyard with what must have been a 5 pound bag of seed and
start calling and feeding dozens of them. She looked like a turkey
shepherd surrounded by her flock. Not a very popular lady with the
neighbors, it turned out.

Posted by: Lincolntf at November 22, 2012 09:51 AM (tkoGU)

That is another idea. Soak your bird seed in anti freeze for a week. Give to turkeys liberally. Watch turkeys die on their roost that night.
Will kill anything that eats it, so don't let your dog cat etc eat any of it. The local hobo is OK.

Posted by: Billy Bob, pseudo intellectual at November 22, 2012 09:56 AM (wR+pz)

146
What would a stun gun do to a turkey?

Posted by: MoeRon at November 22, 2012 09:54 AM



Check the temperature with an instant read thermometer in the deepest part of the thigh but not touching the bone. I suspect it would be underdone, though.

Posted by: huerfano at November 22, 2012 09:56 AM (bAGA/)

147 140
What would a stun gun do to a turkey?



Bounce off. Too many feathers for it to hit anything.

Posted by: Billy Bob, pseudo intellectual at November 22, 2012 09:57 AM (wR+pz)

148 147 -

And don't try to use logic on them. They're not very bright.

Posted by: BurtTC at November 22, 2012 09:58 AM (BeSEI)

149 If the bird is 5 yrs old they can be tough but other than that , delicious .



Posted by: awkward davies at November 22, 2012 09:55 AM (USjX1)

Maybe he didn't get any good ones down in GA.

Posted by: Vic at November 22, 2012 09:59 AM (YdQQY)

150 On behalf of the Obama family – Michelle, Malia, Sasha and Bo – I want to wish everyone a very happy Thanksgiving.
__________
Is Mother Robinson still locked up in the attic? Can't she at least tap out "Happy Thanksgiving" on the windowpane?

Posted by: Baldy at November 22, 2012 09:59 AM (opS9C)

151 Went to Da Sto this morning, out of Bloody Mary mix, bad planning. Saw three friends at Da Sto. They all decided they needed some mix too, so at 9 am three of us each had three quarts of mix



The cashier didn't know what to make of that.

Posted by: Billy Bob, pseudo intellectual at November 22, 2012 09:59 AM (wR+pz)

152 MR, the reason links no longer work is a troll used the feature to insert html code in the comments and severely wrecked the block.


Supposedly a new blog is in the works to restore a lot of those features.

Posted by: Vic at November 22, 2012 10:01 AM (YdQQY)

153 I remember in Mercer County NJ, the compassionate liberals of Trenton and Princeton banned deer hunting.

They reinstated it when their Beemers and Mercedes got banged up badly from deer collisions

Lefties and unintended consequences; Perfect Together

Posted by: kbdabear at November 22, 2012 10:01 AM (wwsoB)

154 Will there be a football thread today? Anyone know games/times?

Posted by: In Cognito at November 22, 2012 10:01 AM (6Zy+s)

155 Massachusetts is just the first domino.

When the gobbler menace shows at your doorstep, run...run and do not stop.

Happy Thanksgiving, loonies.

Posted by: Circa (Insert Year Here) at November 22, 2012 10:02 AM (Ihhv1)

156 Times and scores

http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/football/nfl/scoreboards/today/?eref=sinav

Posted by: Vic at November 22, 2012 10:02 AM (YdQQY)

157 Will there be a football thread today? Anyone know games/times?


Texas/Lions early.
Redskins/Cowboys middle.
Pats/Jets late.

Posted by: Circa (Insert Year Here) at November 22, 2012 10:03 AM (vnNPt)

158 (sheriff lives about 300 feet down the road)

Posted by: Vic at November 22, 2012 09:31 AM (YdQQY)

"I shot the sheriff,
But I did not shoot the deputy."

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at November 22, 2012 10:03 AM (GsoHv)

159 MR, see that worked w/o even shortening it, but it is not a link, just an address.

Posted by: Vic at November 22, 2012 10:03 AM (YdQQY)

160 128The Pilgrims were communists. That's a lesson you'll never get in public school.Posted by: Michael Rittenhouse at November 22, 2012 09:51 AM (2Oas0Not communist. They were what Marx would rather disdainfully call something like "utopian socialist" (I can't remember the exact phrase) as opposed to his "scientific socialism." They didn't have the whole class warfare ideology, the theory of history that Marx came up with, the expansionism, nor, of course, the militant atheism.Socialism is disfunctional, and gets progressively more so the bigger the groupit is applied to. Communism is a virulent plague.

Posted by: Grey Fox at November 22, 2012 10:04 AM (LQjA9)

161

Or, one can do like Obobo does: puff up real big and run at them screaming "I'm Offended !!"

Posted by: Running Hobo at November 22, 2012 10:04 AM (l1oyw)

162 On behalf of the Obama family – Michelle, Malia, Sasha and Bo – I want to wish everyone a very happy Thanksgiving.
__________
Is Mother Robinson still locked up in the attic? Can't she at least tap out "Happy Thanksgiving" on the windowpane?


Never mind the m-i-l, since Obama pardoned the turkey Bo better careful he doesn't end up the main course.

Posted by: Retread at November 22, 2012 10:04 AM (zxitI)

163 Fox reporting that the chick who flipped off the Tomb of the Unknowns has been fired.

Posted by: Ian S. at November 22, 2012 10:06 AM (OevbG)

164 You guys laugh at the hapless woman, sure i did too. Until i rememberd being chased and beaked by a (gaggle?) of Geese.

Posted by: willow at November 22, 2012 10:06 AM (hX8cq)

165 Thanksgiving day games are great, if there is a team you hate playing, and you can root against them. But what are you supposed to do when you hate BOTH teams, like the Cowgirls and the Swampskins?

Posted by: BurtTC at November 22, 2012 10:07 AM (BeSEI)

166 Guess if I get to my friends by noon it'll be soon enough for the early game. Thanks guys. Have a great and safe day folks.

And remember the famous words of John Paul Jones.

We'll defeat the turkeys. Dad gummed commie turkeys. I hate Illinois commie turkeys.

Posted by: In Cognito at November 22, 2012 10:07 AM (/BwGa)

167 http://is.gd/7VFOaV

Fruits

http://is.gd/raCgVW

Refreshments

It is 5PM somewhere.


Posted by: sTevo at November 22, 2012 10:08 AM (VMcEw)

168 Funny I walk past that particular rafter of turkeys all the time on St. Mary's and Monmouth Streets and they've never been aggressive towards me. These people probably have done something to piss them off.

Massachusetts requires a $100 certified training course prior to applying for a $100 Firearms Identification Card from a local PD. Boston requires an additional $100 live fire police exam on Moon Island prior to issuance. Brookline is the only other municipality in the state, besides Boston, which requires a $100 live police fire exam. Though in Brookline one can take the exam at a certified range for $150 to avoid the headache of getting a time slot at a police exam.

FIDs are valid for 6 years in Massachusetts.

Hunting turkeys requires a seasonal permit in the state as well.

Posted by: BlueFalcon in Boston at November 22, 2012 10:08 AM (KCvsd)

169 "Soak your bird seed in anti freeze for a week...Will kill anything that eats it..."

Posted by: Billy Bob, pseudo intellectual at November 22, 2012 09:56 AM (wR+pz)

Have you done this, or have you heard of it being done?

Because I have a squirrel and chipmunk problem that is getting to be a pain in the ass.

I usually put peanut butter mixed with rat poison into a PVC pipe for them. It keeps the cats and dogs from eating it, but it's a chore. Your technique sounds easier.

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at November 22, 2012 10:09 AM (GsoHv)

170 162 Posted by: Retread at November 22, 2012 10:04 AM (zxitI)
________
That is true. I just find it odd how little press the MIL gets.

Posted by: Baldy at November 22, 2012 10:09 AM (opS9C)

171 Happy Black Friday Eve, 'rons!
What are you all doing today until the sales start?
Me, I'm watching the Macy's Black Friday Eve Parade!

Posted by: some dope at November 22, 2012 10:09 AM (+kznc)

172 don't let these feathered and mean non flying friends hear you talking turkey about em.

Posted by: willow at November 22, 2012 10:10 AM (hX8cq)

173 I laugh at seeing the adds for Canada goose hunts. The g-damn things are thick around here with the retention ponds built for all the new subdivisions that were put in, and the cornfields that are about a quarter mile away. Goose crap all over the place. Especially on the golf courses. Kill em with a 9 iron. I'm not a fan of farm raised goose, and someone said the wild ones taste like the green shit they eat from the ponds the flock in.

Posted by: Bruce at November 22, 2012 10:10 AM (h/h0n)

174 Posted by: BlueFalcon in Boston at November 22, 2012 10:08 AM (KCvsd)

Just wait until they require training classes for "free speech."

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at November 22, 2012 10:10 AM (GsoHv)

175 Because I have a squirrel and chipmunk problem that is getting to be a pain in the ass.


That's because global warming has killed all the polar bears.

Posted by: Circa (Insert Year Here) at November 22, 2012 10:11 AM (ltdV/)

176
18As God is my witness, I thought turkeys could fly.

I was waiting for that one...

Posted by: sherlock at November 22, 2012 10:11 AM (f29LO)

177
Wild Turkey makes for one hell of a good soup because they are all dark meat. Chunk the meat and freeze it in 1lb packs then simmer the rest of the bird to get a few gallons of stock. Oh man, I would be out there every week with a handfull of corn and a machette, calling "Soups on!"

Posted by: Walknot at November 22, 2012 10:12 AM (cey9b)

178 164 You guys laugh at the hapless woman, sure i did too. Until i rememberd being chased and beaked by a (gaggle?) of Geese.

That reminds me: I had two geese walk in front of my car at about 50 mph on a wet road. I instinctively swerved, then lost control and spun out. Good thing it was a divided highway with a grassy median, or else I would have gone into oncoming traffic.

Posted by: rickl at November 22, 2012 10:12 AM (sdi6R)

179 Y'all have a great Thanksgiving .
Best wishes .

Posted by: awkward davies at November 22, 2012 10:12 AM (USjX1)

180 Fox reporting that the chick who flipped off the Tomb of the Unknowns has been fired.

Sweet. Two of them got fired for it...it was a conspiracy of stupid.

Posted by: @PurpAv at November 22, 2012 10:12 AM (vE2xL)

181 Posted by: Bruce at November 22, 2012 10:10 AM (h/h0n)

A buddy of mine used to give me wild goose all of the time. It was pretty good, though not as good as wild duck.

But it was from the Pacific fly-way, and they were fat from Central Valley grain.

I'm not sure I would want to eat one of the disgusting suburban geese.

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at November 22, 2012 10:13 AM (GsoHv)

182 Have you done this, or have you heard of it being done?

Because I have a squirrel and chipmunk problem that is getting to be a pain in the ass.

I
usually put peanut butter mixed with rat poison into a PVC pipe for
them. It keeps the cats and dogs from eating it, but it's a chore. Your
technique sounds easier.


Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at November 22, 2012 10:09 AM (GsoHv)

Yes. Mixing in rat poison is good for the chipmunks. I usually just pour a half box down the hole. Seems to work. Works on alligators too, but you soak fish in it. Anti Freeze is very sweet tasting, so do not use they near any pets, unless of course, they are not your pets and are a pain in the ass.

Posted by: Billy Bob, pseudo intellectual at November 22, 2012 10:13 AM (wR+pz)

183 rickl, mean birds!

Posted by: willow at November 22, 2012 10:13 AM (hX8cq)

184 One other note. Soaking meat bits also works for crows. he he.

Posted by: Billy Bob, pseudo intellectual at November 22, 2012 10:13 AM (wR+pz)

185 165Thanksgiving day games are great, if there is a team you hate playing, and you can root against them. But what are you supposed to do when you hate BOTH teams, like the Cowgirls and the Swampskins?
Posted by: BurtTC at November 22, 2012 10:07 AM (BeSEI).....................I suppose you could be PC about it and root for the team with the "incompetent" qb.

Posted by: Molly k. at November 22, 2012 10:14 AM (f+coI)

186 Redskins/Cowboys middle.


So it's cowboys vs indians on Thanksgiving. Isn't that racist?

Posted by: Cicero Skip at November 22, 2012 10:14 AM (LyFx9)

187
Imagine how we would be overrun by them if Ben Franklin had gotten his way, and the turkey had been selected our national bird instead of the bald eagle!

Not to mention how hungry at Thanksgiving.

Posted by: sherlock at November 22, 2012 10:15 AM (f29LO)

188 "That's because global warming has killed all the polar bears."

Posted by: Circa (Insert Year Here) at November 22, 2012 10:11 AM (ltdV/)

Well, I for one am glad for that.

Polar bears rip up the roses and make a mess of the barbecue.

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at November 22, 2012 10:15 AM (GsoHv)

189 Charliebrownsdildo,

Regarding chipmunks, google bucket of death. 5 gallon bucket half filled with water. Sunflower seed and a plank. Will not drown squirrels though. I have a chipper problem here. I end up taking out about 50 of them a year.

Little tunneling bastards.

Posted by: Bruce at November 22, 2012 10:15 AM (h/h0n)

190 Sorry walknot . Wild turkey breast is white meat . Thighs and legs are dark . Just like the butterball . Wife is cookin' one right now .
Later folks.

Posted by: awkward davies at November 22, 2012 10:15 AM (USjX1)

191 ack , my mastiff is also known to eat seeds.


peanuts, fruit off the trees, furniture etc..

Posted by: willow at November 22, 2012 10:15 AM (hX8cq)

192 58--we have turkeys & deer traipsing through our yards and by law we are not permitted to shoot,dress,cook,eat - ahem, 'control' the population on our own property.
I wonder what early settlers would think of our pussified-by-over-legislation society?

they would do what they did back then--they'd round up the statists and run them across the border into Canada where they belong

Posted by: some dope at November 22, 2012 10:16 AM (+kznc)

193 180 Fox reporting that the chick who flipped off the Tomb of the Unknowns has been fired.

-------

Sweet. Two of them got fired for it...it was a conspiracy of stupid.
Posted by: @PurpAv at November 22, 2012 10:12 AM (vE2xL)


So when do they go into the stocks? Cause I've got some tomatoes I need to get rid of.

Posted by: BCochran1981 at November 22, 2012 10:17 AM (GEICT)

194 They must have heard about that whole raped and boiled alive thing.

Posted by: Elizabethe at November 22, 2012 10:17 AM (sC7EY)

195 ________
That is true. I just find it odd how little press the MIL gets.


They just don't want us to realize there is yet another member of the Obama family sponging off the taxpayer.

Posted by: Retread at November 22, 2012 10:18 AM (zxitI)

196 163 Fox reporting that the chick who flipped off the Tomb of the Unknowns has been fired.
-----

Good. I really don't get ace's hand-wringing about this sort of thing.

Posted by: Y-not at November 22, 2012 10:18 AM (5H6zj)

197 154
Will there be a football thread today? Anyone know games/times?

Posted by: In Cognito at November 22, 2012 10:01 AM (6Zy+s)

Are any of you all old enough to remember that Thanksgiving use to be the biggest college football day of the year. Every main rival played on T day.
When I grew up, T day was, up early. Hunt quail. Go to THE GAME. Return, dads' bombed by now, eat Thanksgiving dinner. Go to bed.The 50's were fun.



Posted by: Billy Bob, pseudo intellectual at November 22, 2012 10:18 AM (wR+pz)

198 Posted by: Billy Bob, pseudo intellectual at November 22, 2012 10:13 AM (wR+pz)

What gives you the right to kill other animals? Who do you think you are? The ruler of the world? Every animal has an equal right to life, liberty and the persuit of hapineSs!!!

People like you think that you can just take what you want for yourselves and eat what you want and kill kilkl kill!

Man is just one speciies on Gaia, and we are no more important than anyone else!


Posted by: PETA Rules! at November 22, 2012 10:19 AM (GsoHv)

199 Elizabethe, well it is odd having to reach into the turkey's nether parts for it's neck and assorted icky stuff,
i might consider that rape too.

Posted by: willow at November 22, 2012 10:20 AM (hX8cq)

200 Dear PETA, It's called a food chain you dumb worthless ass holes

Posted by: Cicero Skip at November 22, 2012 10:20 AM (LyFx9)

201 "it is odd having to reach into the turkey's nether parts for it's neck and assorted icky stuff,
i might consider that rape too."

I thought that was called fisting.

Posted by: Cicero Skip at November 22, 2012 10:21 AM (LyFx9)

202 Willow I am terrified of geese. I was bit by one as a child and even today if there's a whole herd of them wandering around slowly it's like some kind of horror film.

Posted by: Elizabethe at November 22, 2012 10:21 AM (sC7EY)

203 its*

Posted by: willow at November 22, 2012 10:22 AM (hX8cq)

204 Posted by: BlueFalcon in Boston at November 22, 2012 10:08 AM (KCvsd)


I recall reading an article by one of the reporters from a MA paper (don't remember which one) who tried to get a permit. She detailed the horror story of all the requirements, permits, fees etc.


After 6 months she had spent hundreds of hours and about $1500 in fees and assorted costs and still did not have the permit.

Posted by: Vic at November 22, 2012 10:22 AM (YdQQY)

205 Elizabeth, They don't give up either, heck i sat in my mums car the rest of the visit.

shiver

Posted by: willow at November 22, 2012 10:23 AM (hX8cq)

206 178--I had two geese walk in front of my car at about 50 mph on a wet road. I instinctively swerved, then lost control and spun out.

I had no idea geese could walk so fast.

Posted by: some dope at November 22, 2012 10:23 AM (+kznc)

207 199 Elizabethe, well it is odd having to reach into the turkey's nether parts for it's neck and assorted icky stuff,
i might consider that rape too.
Posted by: willow at November 22, 2012 10:20 AM (hX8cq)

Jane doh was posting last night about how some PETA guy was on the news saying turkeys are taped and boiled alive.

Posted by: Elizabethe at November 22, 2012 10:23 AM (sC7EY)

208
Here's the perfect metaphor for the blue-state model of life: to be so timid, so helpless, that you're intimidated by a turkey. What's next -banning antibiotics, on the grounds that they harm the poor, helpless streptococci in your body?

Posted by: Cotton Mather at November 22, 2012 10:24 AM (w/wSF)

209 Jane doh was posting last night about how some PETA guy was on the news saying turkeys are taped and boiled alive.



Well you have to tape them, otherwise the screaming is awful.

Posted by: BCochran1981 at November 22, 2012 10:25 AM (GEICT)

210 Man is just one speciies on Gaia, and we are no more important than anyone else!




Posted by: PETA Rules! at November 22, 2012 10:19 AM (GsoHv)

That you Greg?

Posted by: Billy Bob, pseudo intellectual at November 22, 2012 10:26 AM (wR+pz)

211 Jane doh was posting last night about how some PETA guy was on the news saying turkeys are taped and boiled alive.

Boiled alive? I think the PETA guy doesn't know his turkey from his assh lobster.

The two pumpkin pies baking in my oven are making me thankful. Also very hungry.

Posted by: Retread at November 22, 2012 10:26 AM (zxitI)

212
How much would you pay to see a reporter interview Elizabeth Warren on Thanksgiving and ask her if she has any distant relatives from Turkey? If the poor bastard lost his job, at least he would never have to buy a drink in a bar again, right?

Posted by: sherlock at November 22, 2012 10:26 AM (f29LO)

213 Forget it Jake, it's Turkeytown.

Posted by: Walsh at November 22, 2012 10:26 AM (Mx87y)

214 Elizabeth,
They lie often and prolifically .

Peta is a weird crew, while I think animals should not be mistreated , They seem to absolutely value an idea more than actuality.
I believe they kill animals to 'save them from having to tolerate human companions?

Posted by: willow at November 22, 2012 10:28 AM (hX8cq)

215 Happy thanksgiving BC!

Posted by: Elizabethe at November 22, 2012 10:28 AM (sC7EY)

216 WKRP Turkey Drop;

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lf3mgmEdfwg

Posted by: kbdabear at November 22, 2012 10:28 AM (wwsoB)

217 Happy Thanksgiving, y'all.

Posted by: rdbrewer at November 22, 2012 10:29 AM (Iyg03)

218 >>The two pumpkin pies baking in my oven are making me thankful.


I'm not a baker (fortunately, or we'd be 500 lbs each!), so I bought one of those Marie Callender's pies. Razzleberry -- blackberry and raspberry. It was really great!

Posted by: Y-not at November 22, 2012 10:29 AM (5H6zj)

219 I have never had problems with wild turkeys. The keep to their side of the street, I keep to mine. Now nesting geese and swans are another story. You can't show them fear. Walk at steady pace and adopt a don't fuck with attitude they will usually back down. Swans with young can be terrifying when you canoe around here. I have grabbed a towel put it across my shoulders like wings and try to look like the baddest ass swan in the river. It worked. Trying to beat them with paddle only enrages them plus they have advantage in water.

Posted by: Long Island at November 22, 2012 10:29 AM (hl8SI)

220 201
"it is odd having to reach into the turkey's nether parts for it's neck and assorted icky stuff,

i might consider that rape too."


True story. Wife, socialite, not a cook. First Thanksgiving she cooks the turkey and it is great. She keeps complaining that she could not get any stuffing in the bird.


She left the neck, gimlet plastic bag in the bird that she cooked.


Did it again, two years later.


Now, my job. ask for the bag, BEFORE the bird hits the oven.

Her sister is a great cook. A tip, coat the bird with mayonnaise before you cook it, the mayonnaise melts and it self bastes.

Posted by: Billy Bob, pseudo intellectual at November 22, 2012 10:29 AM (wR+pz)

221 BCochran1981,

so wrong, so wrong.

Posted by: willow at November 22, 2012 10:30 AM (hX8cq)

222
67 I have never gone turkey hunting but I have a question. Do you have to rape them after you shoot them?
Posted by: Cicero Skip at November 22, 2012 09:09 AM (LyFx9)

No, you have to keep the proper sequence in mind:
Plunder, THEN burn;
Rape, THEN kill.
I'ts pretty messy when you get them backwards.
Posted by: Lessons from the Ceramic Throne at November 22, 2012 09:21 AM (ze9yk)



Remember, you always burn BEFORE you rape......because its more romantic in the firelight.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at November 22, 2012 10:30 AM (c2oll)

223 "Good. I really don't get ace's hand-wringing about this sort of thing."

Posted by: Y-not at November 22, 2012 10:18 AM (5H6zj)

This is the first I have heard of it, but it sounds like she was exercising her right to free speech, which I think is admirable. And her employer exercised his right to fire her for being a dumb-ass, which I think is admirable.

Posted by: PETA Rules! at November 22, 2012 10:30 AM (GsoHv)

224 Off, damned sock!

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at November 22, 2012 10:31 AM (GsoHv)

225 #204, I think that was for a License To Carry and not a FID card. Anywhere near Boston/Brookline/Cambridge/Somerville/Quincy/Newton isn't going to issue a LTC to anyone without special status.

I wish someone would argue that charging hundred dollars of fees for an ID is disenfranchising our constitutional rights. Somehow it is fine to deny voter ID requirements over that line of thought, but heaven forbid the same standard is extended to the 2nd amendment.

Posted by: BlueFalcon in Boston at November 22, 2012 10:31 AM (KCvsd)

226 Wave your rainbow flag and sing Kumbaya to the turkey!

Posted by: Lefty Mongtard at November 22, 2012 10:31 AM (Kflw4)

227 200 Dear PETA, It's called a food chain you dumb worthless ass holes
Posted by: Cicero Skip at November 22, 2012 10:20 AM (LyFx9)


*tsk* That's just so totally dumb.

Everybody who doesn't watch FauxNews knows food appears on shelves by the labor of Magic Negroes®.

C'mon wingnutz!!111!!!

Posted by: Precious Liberal Child at November 22, 2012 10:32 AM (hBu9X)

228 coat the bird with mayonnaise before you cook it, the mayonnaise melts and it self bastes

I've never done that with turkey, but one of my mom's stock recipes was 'paprika chicken.' Rub chicken pieces in mayo and sprinkle with salt, pepper, and paprika, then bake in the oven. Really makes terrific crispy skin.

Posted by: Y-not at November 22, 2012 10:32 AM (5H6zj)

229 People, people, people. We're overlooking the obvious. Turkey gets a new Islamist government and now the turkeys are attacking.

Posted by: WalrusRex at November 22, 2012 10:32 AM (VlXYw)

230 BillyBob, yes I had made the same mistake cooking the First TurkeyDay meal myself, fortunately my spouse didn't help and find me retrieving the paper and icky stuff, when i split the turkey up into separate dishes to freeze afterwrds.
I had not known about mayonnaise, thank you for tip!

Posted by: willow at November 22, 2012 10:33 AM (hX8cq)

231 This is the first I have heard of it, but it sounds like she was exercising her right to free speech, which I think is admirable.

---

Not really. She was working for an organization that takes care of special needs adults. It was a company-sponsored trip with clients.

Posted by: Y-not at November 22, 2012 10:33 AM (5H6zj)

232 PurpAv @ 126 - You mean Scummerville, I mean Somerville?

I lived in the South End (two blocks off the St Pat's Day parade) for several years, had a friend at Hahvahd who lived in Somerville.

Posted by: butch at November 22, 2012 10:34 AM (nK2Sx)

233 Those turkeys are so racist!

Posted by: EDU Marx Indoctrination Center at November 22, 2012 10:34 AM (Kflw4)

234 Morning all....and Happy Thanksgiving!


I think I might try putting bacon over the breast of my turkey this year. Anyone ever tried that?

Posted by: Tami at November 22, 2012 10:34 AM (X6akg)

235 I'm not a baker (fortunately, or we'd be 500 lbs each!), so I bought one
of those Marie Callender's pies. Razzleberry -- blackberry and
raspberry. It was really great!


And I'd rather bake than cook. Pity I can't live on cake and pie and cookies and such.

If there is a Trader Joe's near you try their Tiramasu (sp?) sometime. Heaven on a plate.

Posted by: Retread at November 22, 2012 10:34 AM (zxitI)

236 I don't eat thanksgiving turkey because I believe any bird with its head up its ass is a Democrat.

Posted by: WalrusRex at November 22, 2012 10:35 AM (VlXYw)

237 @228

It works to. The skin is yummy. Going to my hippie sister in laws so she won;t do it, but damn, she can cook. Have to take my own diet cooks, cause you know, Nutri sweet will kill you.

Posted by: Billy Bob, pseudo intellectual at November 22, 2012 10:35 AM (wR+pz)

238 Posted by: Long Island at November 22, 2012 10:29 AM (hl8SI)

I think the day my childhood ended was when I was at Disneyland and came across one of the beautiful swans by the castle hissed at me.

Posted by: Elizabethe at November 22, 2012 10:35 AM (sC7EY)

239 Somerville may be scummy but it is home to a really great Spanish restaurant, Dali.

Posted by: Y-not at November 22, 2012 10:36 AM (5H6zj)

240 Maybe they could attack the turkeys with all the styrofoam cups the town just outlawed.

Wusses.

Posted by: red speck at November 22, 2012 10:36 AM (9Xu0X)

241 Do the turkeys have large talons?

Posted by: Taro Tsujimoto at November 22, 2012 10:36 AM (celt+)

242 walrus rex, haha

Posted by: willow at November 22, 2012 10:36 AM (hX8cq)

243 Great concept for the turkey massacre, just wish it worked.

http://tinyurl.com/yjt6be

Posted by: RWC at November 22, 2012 10:36 AM (vujA1)

244 Happy European Oppressors Day, y'all!

Posted by: red speck at November 22, 2012 10:37 AM (9Xu0X)

245 Leave out some welfare checks and cellphones the turkeys will leave you alone.

Posted by: Rainbow Utopia Sings Kumbaya at November 22, 2012 10:37 AM (Kflw4)

246 I had not known about mayonnaise, thank you for tip!


Posted by: willow at November 22, 2012 10:33 AM (hX8cq)

You are welcome. You know, of course, you can ONLY use Duke's mayonnaise, right?
That Yankee stuff doesn't work, he he.


Posted by: Billy Bob, pseudo intellectual at November 22, 2012 10:37 AM (wR+pz)

247 #241, yes they have nasty claws, can fly, can run ~30 MPH, and have sharp beaks. The females are much more nimble than the males and are the shot callers of the rafters.

Posted by: BlueFalcon in Boston at November 22, 2012 10:38 AM (KCvsd)

248 Dan Malloy is a wild turkey turd. That's our Thanksgiving Proclamation for today from the Nutmeg state, home of Henry Kissinger and Mia Farrow.

Posted by: Cricket at November 22, 2012 10:38 AM (2ArJQ)

249 Where my free stuff? If we don't get our free stuff the city will burn.

Posted by: Karl Skidmarx Turkey Leader at November 22, 2012 10:39 AM (Kflw4)

250 @58

We got wild turkeys on Staten Island and because this is New York, their surviving the hurricane was considered a news worthy story.

And regarding the Canadian goose culling, they did this in NYC maybe two years ago in early summer. My wife ran into some crazed animal activist who wanted to have murder and kidnapping charges pressed against everyone involved, the NYPD declined to take a report.

And Happy Thanksgiving to all!

Posted by: Penfold at November 22, 2012 10:39 AM (7jGlJ)

251 A cousin of mine used mayo as a "rub" for grilling fish. He claimed it kept the fish from sticking to the grill. Since I fry my fish in bacon grease, I have never tried the mayo technique.

Posted by: Hrothgar - L.I.B or SMOD for the Children at November 22, 2012 10:39 AM (Cnqmv)

252 234
I think I might try putting bacon over the breast of my turkey this year. Anyone ever tried that?


Turbacon?

Posted by: rickl at November 22, 2012 10:39 AM (sdi6R)

253 Hey elizabethe!

Posted by: BCochran1981 at November 22, 2012 10:40 AM (GEICT)

254 @ 126 - You mean Scummerville, I mean Somerville?

No, that's to the north.

Posted by: @PurpAv at November 22, 2012 10:40 AM (vE2xL)

255 Didn't Jesse Jackson once say that if he saw a young turkeywalkingtowards him on a sidewalk he would cross the street to avoid him? Or sumptin like dat?

Posted by: torabora at November 22, 2012 10:41 AM (j5ex0)

256
Took a canal trip in England once - self-drive kind. You work the (ancient) locks yourself, and it can be hard work. So we come up to a lock and there sits 5 swans, Mom, Dad, 3 swanlets(?). The are waiting for me to open the lock, instead of walking around!

Opened and drove the boat in, and theyzip in rightahead ofus. Raise / lower the water whatever, and open the lock, and they swim out ahead of us, and then take off flying and disappear!

Cruise leisurelyto the next lock around the corner... and there they are, waiting to get in! Crazy Brits!

Posted by: sherlock at November 22, 2012 10:41 AM (f29LO)

257 LOL hilarious. And yeah, this is what is leading the local news.

Stupid fucking lefties, they reap what they sow.

Posted by: Truman North at November 22, 2012 10:41 AM (I2LwF)

258 229 People, people, people. We're overlooking the obvious. Turkey gets a new Islamist government and now the turkeys are attacking.
Posted by: WalrusRex at November 22, 2012 10:32 AM (VlXYw)


Scram. They're on to us....

Posted by: Turkey Jihad! Brotherhood at November 22, 2012 10:41 AM (hBu9X)

259 And, of course, everyone knows that Ben Franklin wanted the Turkey to be the national bird, right?

See bottom of wiki.


http://tinyurl.com/2vdlo8

Posted by: Billy Bob, pseudo intellectual at November 22, 2012 10:41 AM (wR+pz)

260 234 Morning all....and Happy Thanksgiving!

I think I might try putting bacon over the breast of my turkey this year. Anyone ever tried that?
Posted by: Tami at November 22, 2012 10:34 AM (X6akg)

___

Yes, works, keeps the white meat moist. Also covering lightly with tin foil until the last couple o' hours of cooking.

Posted by: Cricket at November 22, 2012 10:41 AM (2ArJQ)

261 @255 Yes I did say that.

Posted by: Hymie Town Jackson at November 22, 2012 10:42 AM (Kflw4)

262 Had a big group harrasing me in the yard and everytime I'd go out the garage. I live in the woods so no problem shooting them. But our local game warden is a bit over zealous. So I solved the problem a different way. It's called a Calloway Big Bertha. Amazing how unmotivated they were after a few of their bretheren were hit be reality and a 1 wood.As someone mentioned though, turkeys in the wild are a totally different bird. I hunt them and they are hard to get. These ones, not so much.

Posted by: Minnfidel at November 22, 2012 10:43 AM (bXdYS)

263 The turkey leader is Hussein and if you don't worship him you are an evil racist of European descent.

Posted by: MiniTrue at November 22, 2012 10:43 AM (Kflw4)

264 Yes, works, keeps the white meat moist. Also covering lightly with tin foil until the last couple o' hours of cooking.



Posted by: Cricket at November 22, 2012 10:41 AM (2ArJQ)


Yeah, that's what I'm thinking....and really, what can go wrong adding bacon to anything.

Posted by: Tami at November 22, 2012 10:44 AM (X6akg)

265 @Tami

If you have time, you could mix some herbs (thyme or poultry seasoning) and softened butter together and then slide the mixture between the turkey skin and the meat.

Re bacon over the breast, I have a co-worker who told me her husband did that once, tasted good, but i don't think the skin under the bacon got crispy.

Posted by: Penfold at November 22, 2012 10:45 AM (7jGlJ)

266 Yeah, that's what I'm thinking....and really, what can go wrong adding bacon to anything.


Absolutely. Nothing.

Posted by: BCochran1981 at November 22, 2012 10:45 AM (GEICT)

267
This news story is only a story because it's in a lefty area. If these things were attacking people where I live, well, there would be no story as the problem would get "solved".
Happy Thanksgiving to all.

Posted by: Minnfidel at November 22, 2012 10:45 AM (bXdYS)

268 Some turkeys are a little more equal than others.

Posted by: Animal Farm at November 22, 2012 10:45 AM (Kflw4)

269 252
234

I think I might try putting bacon over the breast of my turkey this year. Anyone ever tried that?



Turbacon?

Posted by: rickl at November 22, 2012 10:39 AM (sdi6R)

Doesn't work, the bacon burns after a couple of hours in the oven and gives the bird a burnt taste. Bacon best on small birds grilled, not baked.

Surprised no one has mentioned the deep fryer. Son did that with his first wild turkey. Besides almost burning the driveway up, the damn thing tasted great.

Posted by: Billy Bob, pseudo intellectual at November 22, 2012 10:45 AM (wR+pz)

270 For cooking turkey I always use reynolds oven bags. Follow ALL the directions on the box, except for the last half hour cut the bag open at the top, WATCH OUT FOR THE STEAM, remove the juice with a turkey baster, you will need a big pot for all the juice, so you will have a lot of gravy. With the bag open it will brown the turkey just right.

Posted by: Cicero Skip at November 22, 2012 10:46 AM (LyFx9)

271 Family is running late, why am I not shocked?

Posted by: Billy Bob, pseudo intellectual at November 22, 2012 10:46 AM (wR+pz)

272 If you have time, you could mix some herbs (thyme or poultry seasoning)
and softened butter together and then slide the mixture between the
turkey skin and the meat.


============


This was my other choice. Softened butter and fresh sage chopped up.


Hmmm......both?

Posted by: Tami at November 22, 2012 10:47 AM (X6akg)

273 HAPPY THANKSGIVING ALL !!!!

Gobble till you wobble

Posted by: Evilpens at November 22, 2012 10:47 AM (ck76k)

274 Happy Happy Joy Joy!

Posted by: Ren Höek at November 22, 2012 10:48 AM (Kflw4)

275 Yes, works, keeps the white meat moist. Also covering lightly with tin foil until the last couple o' hours of cooking.



Posted by: Cricket at November 22, 2012 10:41 AM (2ArJQ)

Never thought of tin foil. Still, go with the mayonnaise. Easier.

Posted by: Billy Bob, pseudo intellectual at November 22, 2012 10:48 AM (wR+pz)

276 "“I looked back and three of them charged me,” she explained."

In Soviet Brookline, you don't hunt turkey. Turkey hunt you!

Posted by: mrp at November 22, 2012 10:48 AM (HjPtV)

277

I will say it once again. Try butter flying your turkey. Cut out the backbone, squash it flat in a roasting pan on tip of some carrots, celery and onions. Fepending on how big it is iy will cook in 45 minites to an hour and a half and is as moist as can be. You will never cook a bird another way.

Next time I'm going to stick the bacon on top.

Posted by: Elizabethe at November 22, 2012 10:49 AM (+Di4R)

278 Thanks for all the laughs and insights this year, one and all.

Posted by: Jinx the Cat at November 22, 2012 10:49 AM (l3vZN)

279 Butter runs off the bird, the mayonnaise sticks to it.


Duke's only, of course, he he. I make no representations for anyone using the mayonnaise that starts with an H.

Posted by: Billy Bob, pseudo intellectual at November 22, 2012 10:50 AM (wR+pz)

280 BC! Waves.

Posted by: Elizabethe at November 22, 2012 10:50 AM (+Di4R)

281 @277

Yum. Great idea.

Posted by: Billy Bob, pseudo intellectual at November 22, 2012 10:51 AM (wR+pz)

282 Only 4 hours til my idiot libera,l drug adeled brother in law gets here. My wife made me promise to behave. But I am wondering if I should start drinking now?

Posted by: Minnfidel at November 22, 2012 10:51 AM (bXdYS)

283
Happy Thanksgiving, morons.

IIRC, one of Hillary's brothers also lived in The White House for eight years. The media took notice about three months before they moved out.

Posted by: Ed Anger at November 22, 2012 10:51 AM (tOkJB)

284 My wife and in-laws just left for Georgia. Just me and the kitties until Sunday. I've got a box of Stove Top, a pouch of mashed potato mix, a jar of gravyanda can of whole-berry Ocean Spray sitting on the counter. Just have to run out to Harris-Teeter for ahot roasted turkey breast and some dinner rolls.

Posted by: Lincolntf at November 22, 2012 10:52 AM (tkoGU)

285 Only 4 hours til my idiot libera,l drug adeled brother in law gets here.
My wife made me promise to behave. But I am wondering if I should start
drinking now?


Depends on how much you like your wife. Or how much you like sleeping with one eye open.

Posted by: Retread at November 22, 2012 10:53 AM (zxitI)

286 282
Only 4 hours til my idiot libera,l drug adeled brother in law gets here.
My wife made me promise to behave. But I am wondering if I should start
drinking now?

Posted by: Minnfidel at November 22, 2012 10:51 AM (bXdYS)

YES. You've already lost several hours. Begin immediately to catch up.

Posted by: Billy Bob, the guy who drinks in SC at November 22, 2012 10:54 AM (wR+pz)

287 >>>248 Dan Malloy is a wild turkey turd. That's our Thanksgiving Proclamation for today from the Nutmeg state, home of Henry Kissinger and Mia Farrow.
Posted by: Cricket

Mia's back in the news, albeit, indirectly. Her brother is wanted for kiddy diddling. I was surprise to read that she had a nephew who did 3 tours of duty in Iraq.

Posted by: Walkers! at November 22, 2012 10:54 AM (TYO2p)

288 Just have to run out to Harris-Teeter for ahot roasted turkey breast and some dinner rolls.

Posted by: Lincolntf at November 22, 2012 10:52 AM (tkoGU)

Hope you have your Valu Rite already, ABC stores closed today.

Posted by: Billy Bob, the guy who drinks in SC at November 22, 2012 10:55 AM (wR+pz)

289 So today we are alone so I'm am making some experimental things. Pumpkin cheesecake bars, and a parsnip and onion upside down tart.

The first whiskey spit will get mixed up at noon

Posted by: Elizabethe at November 22, 2012 10:55 AM (sC7EY)

290 Thanksgiving. A time for drunken debauchery with genetically-distant relatives, uncontrollable sobbing, and the usual poignant recriminations.

I remember fondly my time as a child, seeing old relatives and their friends whose family would not have them due to serious personality defects. The fist fights and merciless teasing at the hands of the exceptionally-dressed Robbie, Whitney and little Logan C., who would not abide my hand-me-down ragamuffin appearance or my borderline Asberger's; the heat turned up to 78 to simulate a roaring fire in the fireplace; and the drunken fathers snoring in front of Cinemax starting shortly before dinner. The very thought of those four days in November made the four hour car trips seem like the nicest part of any thanksgiving celebration.

Good times, made even better by the unbiquitous Holiday Egg Nog, that even today, softens those fuzzy memories into a bearable lint ball of hate and shame.

Have I shared my recipe for Holiday Egg Nog? It's never too early for Holiday Egg Nog.

Truman North's Holiday Egg Nog

First, get some egg nog, like you buy at the store*.

Pour it into a large crystal bowl with a serving ladle.

Sprinkle some nutmeg on top.

Very festive.

*if you intend to serve this at a gathering with my relatives, make sure to add clear liquor in a 1:1 ratio with the egg nog. You will thank me by the time you've had your third or fourth glass, as everyone will seem more pleasant.

Posted by: Truman North at November 22, 2012 10:55 AM (I2LwF)

291 @Lincolntf

What is a Harris-Teeter, is that like a Boston Market?

Posted by: Penfold at November 22, 2012 10:55 AM (7jGlJ)

292 And now, footage of the community's response to the turkey attacks:

http://preview.tinyurl.com/bzfrzw4

Posted by: Brother Cavil at November 22, 2012 10:56 AM (vkUBG)

293 Spending time with libturd commies on any day of the year is hellish mano.

Posted by: Golden Post-Racial Utopia at November 22, 2012 10:56 AM (Kflw4)

294 Actually Billy Bob, I don't. Will I be able to buy beer/wine at the grocery store?

Posted by: Lincolntf at November 22, 2012 10:56 AM (tkoGU)

295 Depends on how much you like your wife. Or how much you like sleeping with one eye open.Posted by: Retread at November 22, 2012 10:53 AM (zxitI)>>>>>>>>>I love her, but he and his entire brood are going to be insufferable this year. Maybe I'll have just a couple beers......

Posted by: Minnfidel at November 22, 2012 10:56 AM (bXdYS)

296 Harris teeter is a grocery store. Slightly pricey but with a better than average shopping experience.

Posted by: Elizabethe at November 22, 2012 10:56 AM (sC7EY)

297 In all seriousness, I used to live right at the edge of Brookline.

The Brookline Chief of Police is so anti-gun he literally will not let his own police officers carry guns off duty.

Let THAT insanity sink in for a moment.


Posted by: Looking closely at November 22, 2012 10:57 AM (+PDlV)

298 Occupy Thanksgiving!

Posted by: Hippie Turkeys at November 22, 2012 10:57 AM (xSegX)

299 Sorta like a nicer Stop Shop?

Posted by: Penfold at November 22, 2012 10:57 AM (7jGlJ)

300 But I am wondering if I should start drinking now?

Posted by: Minnfidel at November 22, 2012 10:51 AM (bXdYS)


Can't ever start too soon.

Posted by: GGE of the Moron Horde, NC Chapter at November 22, 2012 10:58 AM (yh0zB)

301 Harris-Teeter is a grocery store chain, but they have a large "ready-to-eat" section, they also make pizzas, sandwiches, salads, even added a sushi counter a while ago.

Posted by: Lincolntf at November 22, 2012 10:59 AM (tkoGU)

302 289 So today we are alone so I'm am making some experimental things. Pumpkin cheesecake bars, and a parsnip and onion upside down tart.

The first whiskey spit will get mixed up at noon
Posted by: Elizabethe at November 22, 2012 10:55 AM (sC7EY)

You think you're so funny autocorrect?

It should be whiskey sour.

How come autocorrect can get PETA right but not sour.

Posted by: Elizabethe at November 22, 2012 10:59 AM (sC7EY)

303 Football today? Heck yeah. We are in Austin for the UT TCU game. Happy Thanksgiving to all you morons. Hook em!

Posted by: LASue at November 22, 2012 10:59 AM (Iok9N)

304 Spending time with libturd commies on any day of the year is hellish mano.

Ditto. I try not to engage them in conversation because of the stupidity. At least with 18 people, there is some avoidance available. And there is always alcohol.

Posted by: Infidel at November 22, 2012 10:59 AM (6gXNv)

305 Yeah, a very nice Stop and Shop.

Posted by: Lincolntf at November 22, 2012 10:59 AM (tkoGU)

306 @290

Clear liquor in egg nog? Clear rum, maybe.

Bourbon, Mt Gay Rum, Rye, or even cheap scotch.

NEVER Vodka.

Posted by: Billy Bob, the guy who drinks in SC at November 22, 2012 11:00 AM (wR+pz)

307 All things considered, in just this one instance I'm rooting for the turkeys. (the birds, not the inhabitants of Brookline.)

Posted by: John W. at November 22, 2012 11:00 AM (K7KaF)

308 Turkeys ain't dumb. But these look like they have accepted the presence of humans, so you could probably just grab one and wring the neck.

Posted by: navybrat at November 22, 2012 11:00 AM (r1ty1)

309 Spending time with libturd commies on any day of the year is hellish mano.Posted by: Golden Post-Racial Utopia at November 22, 2012 10:56 AM (Kflw4)...............I'd love to say, oh I'm sorry, no turkey for you. You see idiot liberal brother in-law. There are those less fortunate than you, even though you've sucked every nickle from your parents, your wife is the only one who works and you sit around getting high and railing about the rich, there's still others worse off. So here's a fucking breadstick asshole. Happy Thanksgiving.

Posted by: Minnfidel at November 22, 2012 11:00 AM (bXdYS)

310 294
Actually Billy Bob, I don't. Will I be able to buy beer/wine at the grocery store?

Posted by: Lincolntf at November 22, 2012 10:56 AM (tkoGU)

Went to the Teeter this morning, all wine and beer is for sale in CLT.

Posted by: Billy Bob, the guy who drinks in SC at November 22, 2012 11:01 AM (wR+pz)

311 Moochelle low calorie Thanksgiving:

2 fig leafs
1 bean sprout

sprinkle with ocean salt, enjoy with some Red wine.

Posted by: Stimpson J. Cat at November 22, 2012 11:01 AM (Kflw4)

312 Actually, I prefer moonshine. If it makes you go blind, so much the better.

Posted by: Truman North at November 22, 2012 11:02 AM (I2LwF)

313 300
But I am wondering if I should start drinking now?



Posted by: Minnfidel at November 22, 2012 10:51 AM (bXdYS)

Just remember, you can't drink all day, unless you start in the morning.

Posted by: Billy Bob, the guy who drinks in SC at November 22, 2012 11:02 AM (wR+pz)

314 Daughter #2 lives in Brookline and confirms that they have a turkey problem. Fortunately, she went to UT (Austin, sure, but still Tx) and has so far resisted the siren call of the urban hipster. She's a good shot, and laughs at all of the Boston wimps who don't know which end of a gun to point.

Posted by: pep at November 22, 2012 11:02 AM (6TB1Z)

315 Hide your wife, hide your keeds. They peckin' everyone up in here.

Posted by: Antoine Dobson at November 22, 2012 11:02 AM (pwyhn)

316
Only 4 hours til my idiot libera,l drug adeled brother in law gets here.


Put some crime scene tape across the front door, some beet juice on the sidewalk, and have a few neighbors mill around like detectives when they show up.

He'll go away.

Posted by: @PurpAv at November 22, 2012 11:02 AM (vE2xL)

317 295--I love her, but he and his entire brood are going to be insufferable this year. Maybe I'll have just a couple beers......

And let me guess, they are having Holiday dinner at your place, right?

Posted by: some dope at November 22, 2012 11:02 AM (+kznc)

318 Listening to the rest of the Horde makes me thankful for my relatives...who are mostly 1100 miles away...


Actually, since none of them are commie sympathizers we get along great.

Posted by: GGE of the Moron Horde, NC Chapter at November 22, 2012 11:03 AM (yh0zB)

319 @309 Bwahaha sounds like some bleeding heart I'm going to save the world meat head libturd. It was fun to think to like that at 18 but then you grow up.

Posted by: Hate them they hate you at November 22, 2012 11:03 AM (Kflw4)

320 Thanks. I was sincerely worried for a minute there. All I've got is 8 or 9 Buds in the fridge. That's not gonna cut it.

Posted by: Lincolntf at November 22, 2012 11:03 AM (tkoGU)

321 @314
Oh, and she's gorgeous, Christian, and smart as a whip. No, I won't give you her email address.

Posted by: pep at November 22, 2012 11:04 AM (6TB1Z)

322 I love her, but he and his entire brood are going to be insufferable this year. Maybe I'll have just a couple beers......

So he likes to rub it in? While he eats your food? As someone else said, get to drinking, pronto. And try ignoring him. It might enrage him and turn all that good food in his stomach to ashes.

Posted by: Retread at November 22, 2012 11:04 AM (zxitI)

323 I'm thankful that my lib family has not made one mention of politics since the election even though they know my position. Aside from being teh stupid they are decent.

Posted by: Elizabethe at November 22, 2012 11:05 AM (sC7EY)

324 Oh, and she's gorgeous, Christian, and smart as a whip. No, I won't give you her email address.


Posted by: pep at November 22, 2012 11:04 AM (6TB1Z)


and probably young enough to be my daughter...

Posted by: GGE of the Moron Horde, NC Chapter at November 22, 2012 11:05 AM (yh0zB)

325 And let me guess, they are having Holiday dinner at your place, right?Posted by: some dope at November 22, 2012 11:02 AM (+kznc)>>>>>>>>>>>>>Of course! I'm sure he'll bring something nice that he bought with his food stamps, that I paid for too.

Posted by: Minnfidel at November 22, 2012 11:05 AM (bXdYS)

326 @322 fart loudly in their general direction

Posted by: it's only a flesh wound at November 22, 2012 11:05 AM (Kflw4)

327 So he likes to rub it in? While he eats your food?

Make him a special plate...heavy on the Habanero and Scotch Bonnet peppers.

Posted by: @PurpAv at November 22, 2012 11:06 AM (vE2xL)

328 obamanomics low budget Thanksgiving

1 packet Ramen noodles no seasoning
1/2 bag dollar store nachos no salsa

Posted by: no we can't at November 22, 2012 11:08 AM (Kflw4)

329 Well, thanks for the advice fellow Morons! I got to get to cooking.....and drinking!!!! Happy Thanksgiving

Posted by: Minnfidel at November 22, 2012 11:08 AM (bXdYS)

330 290
Thanksgiving. A time for drunken debauchery with genetically-distant
relatives, uncontrollable sobbing, and the usual poignant
recriminations.



I remember fondly my time as a child, seeing old relatives and their
friends whose family would not have them due to serious personality
defects. The fist fights and merciless teasing at the hands of the
exceptionally-dressed Robbie, Whitney and little Logan C., who would not
abide my hand-me-down ragamuffin appearance or my borderline
Asberger's; the heat turned up to 78 to simulate a roaring fire in the
fireplace; and the drunken fathers snoring in front of Cinemax starting
shortly before dinner. The very thought of those four days in November
made the four hour car trips seem like the nicest part of any
thanksgiving celebration.



Good times, made even better by the unbiquitous Holiday Egg Nog,
that even today, softens those fuzzy memories into a bearable lint ball
of hate and shame.



Have I shared my recipe for Holiday Egg Nog? It's never too early for Holiday Egg Nog.



Truman North's Holiday Egg Nog



First, get some egg nog, like you buy at the store*.



Pour it into a large crystal bowl with a serving ladle.



Sprinkle some nutmeg on top.



Very festive.



*if you intend to serve this at a gathering with my relatives, make
sure to add clear liquor in a 1:1 ratio with the egg nog. You will thank
me by the time you've had your third or fourth glass, as everyone will
seem more pleasant.

Posted by: Truman North at November 22, 2012 10:55 AM (I2LwF)


Ah, don't you just love the holidays?

Posted by: GGE of the Moron Horde, NC Chapter at November 22, 2012 11:08 AM (yh0zB)

331 They don't allow guns in Boston, do they?

A clutch of good crossbow bolts launched in the dark of the moon should do the trick. Like that old household cleaner from back in the 50's: Works fast, leaves no marks. And makes no nasty "bang" sounds to upset Liberals. The only drawback is, what do you do with the turkey corpses? Wild turkeys are gamy, dry, and stringy, especially ones that are as physically active as the Brookline ones are.

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!

Posted by: Minnie Rodent (I took down my FB account too) at November 22, 2012 11:08 AM (S3rrR)

332 The drunken family brawl is my favorite tradition. It doesn't have to be Thanksgiving.

Posted by: Vinny Gardoosh at November 22, 2012 11:10 AM (Kflw4)

333 I recall another story about a red tail hawk in Boston area viciously attacking a guy walking to his car. Bird came out of nowhere. The guy was seriously injured. Massachusetts is a dangerous place.

Posted by: Long Island at November 22, 2012 11:13 AM (hl8SI)

334 Thanks, GCE.

God bless you guys, even the Jews.

Posted by: Truman North at November 22, 2012 11:13 AM (I2LwF)

335 Harris Teeter used to be the best grocery store in the South. But they closed them all down here but one. They are all in NC now.


BIOT, damn Wal-Mart is now our best grocery story but their meat department sucks.

Posted by: Vic at November 22, 2012 11:13 AM (YdQQY)

336 When your collective response to turkeys is to throw water on them, or throw sticks at them - you have just lost your right to vote.

The turkeys are just like liberals. When hunted they are scarce.

When given protection by the government and free food, they quickly become terrorists.


Posted by: GeorgePatton at November 22, 2012 11:14 AM (qBLA2)

337 We have Harris Teteer here in VA - love them.

The union goons at Giant and Safeway can kiss my ass.

Posted by: GeorgePatton at November 22, 2012 11:16 AM (qBLA2)

338 I have become, at least in terms of stapels (bread, milk, eggs) a big fan of Aldi's. No bells, no whistles.....but milk is about 20 cents a gallon cheaper, eggs about 15 cents a dozen cheaper and bread is another 20 cents a loaf cheaper.

And yea, with teenagers, those savings add up.

Posted by: Mallamutt, RINO President for Life at November 22, 2012 11:18 AM (OWjjx)

339 I have an egg-nog mix wifey got for me and some store at the beach I am going to try. I have a great recipe for real stuff but it uses 12 eggs and is instant pure cholesterol.


This mix has NONE, nada, zero. I imagine its going to suck but I am going to try it. Can't today though. Going over to MIL's and evil libtard SIL from Charlotte will be there. Last time I was there and we were drinking me and her got into it big time.

Posted by: Vic at November 22, 2012 11:18 AM (YdQQY)

340 So how true is Rush's version of the Thanksgiving story? That there was a food store that didn't work out until everyone took care of themselves? Rush is the only place I heard that.

Posted by: the lone lemon at November 22, 2012 11:20 AM (xXhWA)

341 This mix has NONE, nada, zero. I imagine its going to suck but I am going to try it. Can't today though. Going over to MIL's and evil libtard SIL from Charlotte will be there. Last time I was there and we were drinking me and her got into it big time.

Vic, Vic, Vic...........I am sorely disappointed. The object is to piss off your liberal in-laws. We are going to my sister in laws for the big eating extraganza. She sent an e-mail out about bringing games to play.

I responded with my own e-mail. Her husband (who is conservative) and I will be watching football and she will be busy bringing us sammiches and beer. And when not doing that, doing dishes. Or, in other words, women work.

She has not responded but her husband has indicated that she is none too happy with me. Wait till I stove shoving twinkies down my gullet and don't offer to share.

Posted by: Mallamutt, RINO President for Life at November 22, 2012 11:21 AM (OWjjx)

342
Only 4 hours til my idiot libera,l drug adeled brother in law gets here. My wife made me promise to behave. But I am wondering if I should start drinking now?

Like you have to ask around here?

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, who did not vote for this shit. at November 22, 2012 11:21 AM (lOmbq)

343 We have Bi-Lo, IGA (2), Piggly Wiggly, and Wal-Mart,


We used to Have Harris Teeter, Winn-Dixie, and Food Lion. They are all gone now.

Posted by: Vic at November 22, 2012 11:21 AM (YdQQY)

344 Going over to MIL's and evil libtard SIL from Charlotte will be there. Last time I was there and we were drinking me and her got into it big time.

I have heard a bag of oranges leaves no marks on the skin.

Posted by: Truman North at November 22, 2012 11:22 AM (I2LwF)

345
Retread @ 322:

So he likes to rub it in? While he eats your food? As someone else said,
get to drinking, pronto. And try ignoring him. It might enrage him and
turn all that good food in his stomach to ashes.


Also, tell your libturd relations that all food was prepared from recipes by conservative presidents/leaders and their wives. Ronald Reagan turkey, Barbara Bush corn bread stuffing, Laura Bush sweet potatoes, Ann Romney pumpkin pie, etc.

Posted by: Sticky Wicket at November 22, 2012 11:23 AM (L7hol)

346 True story-
One of my sergeants when I was in Iowa Nat'l Guard was detailed to set up our GP Medium ops tent. While out selecting a site in a nearby pasture (weekend training ops) he came upon a wild turkey just next to the barb-wire fence in front of him. Just as he was approaching the fence, the turkey took flight. Just out of reaction, he reached up and grabbed, and by-God, caught the damn thing by its legs. The sergeant was built like a small Sherman tank- he snared that bird, hugged it like a linebacker heading for a Superbowl touchdown, and brought it over to us.

He ate well that night.

Posted by: Mr Wolf, Esq at November 22, 2012 11:24 AM (UIAT6)

347 337
We have Harris Teteer here in VA - love them.

The union goons at Giant and Safeway can kiss my ass.


Posted by: GeorgePatton at November 22, 2012 11:16 AM (qBLA2)

HT is union too.

Posted by: Billy Bob, the guy who drinks in SC at November 22, 2012 11:24 AM (wR+pz)

348
Off to din din with my thankfully right wing in-laws.
===
Have a good holiday, all.

Posted by: USS Diversity at November 22, 2012 11:24 AM (9ghZ6)

349 Lone Lemon @ 340 - That's the story I learned as a kid, but that was before the Commies Zinn-ified the curriculum.

Posted by: butch at November 22, 2012 11:24 AM (nK2Sx)

350 Supposedly a new blog is in the works to restore a lot of those features.
Posted by: Vic at November 22, 2012 10:01 AM (YdQQY) A prophecy!No one knows the day or the hour, but may it be true!

Posted by: Meremortal, It's Burning Out Of Control, Run! at November 22, 2012 11:24 AM (1Y+hH)

351 Vic, Vic, Vic...........I am sorely disappointed. The object is to piss
off your liberal in-laws. We are going to my sister in laws for the
big eating extraganza. She sent an e-mail out about bringing games to
play.



Last week I asked wifey who was going to be there and she listed that SIL. I said, well I won't be there then because I'll sit at home and have hydraulic TG dinner.


That went over like a fart on a hard church pew.

Posted by: Vic at November 22, 2012 11:24 AM (YdQQY)

352
I have heard a bag of oranges leaves no marks on the skin.

Good, I don't like bruised oranges.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, who did not vote for this shit. at November 22, 2012 11:24 AM (lOmbq)

353 Turkeys are avian dinosaurs descended from theropod predatory dinosaurs.

Tweak their genes a bit here and there and you get a velociraptor, pretty much.

Weak and timid hive-humans are no match for them. No tweaking needed.

Posted by: eman at November 22, 2012 11:26 AM (bWwMZ)

354 This is what happens when vaginas are not registered and regulated.

Posted by: Dept. of Accuracy Dept. at November 22, 2012 11:26 AM (BAnPT)

355 Turkeys will strut down a street like they fucking own that town.

Posted by: eman at November 22, 2012 11:28 AM (bWwMZ)

356
I have heard a bag of oranges leaves no marks on the skin.




A pound of butter in a hunting sock.....

Drinking now....first bottle of home-made pear wine. Cheers!

Posted by: Cicero Kid at November 22, 2012 11:28 AM (ITxHU)

357
My parents had a pair of swans for a while. They looked gorgeous and placid floating in the pond. Their wings were clipped, but when they were new they would occasionally take off running and we would have to chase them down.


They are no fun to deal with, and can really give you a whack with the bone along the front of their wings.

Posted by: Meremortal, It's Burning Out Of Control, Run! at November 22, 2012 11:29 AM (1Y+hH)

358 They see what's been happening to That Chicken and they are now militant.

Posted by: Dept. of Accuracy Dept. at November 22, 2012 11:30 AM (BAnPT)

359 Trader Joes is non-union I believe.

Posted by: RWC at November 22, 2012 11:30 AM (vujA1)

360 The Turkey Secession has begun.

Posted by: T.Hunter - let it burn at November 22, 2012 11:31 AM (EZl54)

361
I went down to the hiking store and I got a hiking stick with a big ball on top of it.


There's nothing like a good piece of hickory.

Posted by: Preacher at November 22, 2012 11:32 AM (ITxHU)

362 Turkeys are as common and irritating as rodents now in MA. And some genius decided the solution to the turkey explosion was was to import coyotes.

They, of course, would much rather eat a noce dog or cat.

Posted by: Bevel Lemelisk at November 22, 2012 11:32 AM (uhAkr)

363 Time for a Bloody Mary. Might as well start the day off right.

Posted by: Infidel at November 22, 2012 11:32 AM (6gXNv)

364 We freed our Turkeys in Texas a long time ago and don't have these problems.
In tyrannical Massachusetts the rebellion is afoot.

Posted by: Dept. of Accuracy Dept. at November 22, 2012 11:32 AM (BAnPT)

365 It is just humans that are pissed about Hostess.

Posted by: eman at November 22, 2012 11:32 AM (bWwMZ)

366 Some swans are OK

http://is.gd/cNstpU

Posted by: Vic at November 22, 2012 11:33 AM (YdQQY)

367 New post up

Posted by: Vic at November 22, 2012 11:33 AM (YdQQY)

368 Got ESPN on............touting some poll that shows more Americans want to have Thanksgiving dinner with Tim Tebow over SCOAMF.

Of course. Tebow won't bring some shrew with him to lecture you on what you eat.

Posted by: Mallamutt, RINO President for Life at November 22, 2012 11:33 AM (OWjjx)

369 Wegmans non union stores, but union distributors/drivers.

Posted by: RWC at November 22, 2012 11:34 AM (vujA1)

370 dammit

slow-acting coffee, I blame

Posted by: eman at November 22, 2012 11:34 AM (bWwMZ)

371
By the way, in case you missed it...that horrid woman who was disrespectful at the Tomb Of The Unknown Soldier has "resigned" from her job. Theidiot woman who helped her by taking the ugly photo has also "resigned".


Up the butt, be-yotches. Welcome to the Jane Fonda Butthead Photo Club.

Posted by: Meremortal, It's Burning Out Of Control, Run! at November 22, 2012 11:35 AM (1Y+hH)

372 This year the turkey is being cooked by the crazy cat lady next door, at least I hope it's turkey. For my part, made rum balls this morning and just put a pound cake in the oven. I have just one thing to be thankful for this season, but it's a big one. Praise Jesus that our new Texas senator is not named Dewhurst!!

Posted by: Gordon undead Ramsay at November 22, 2012 11:36 AM (9HhTH)

373 Just some stuff (heh) about turkeys. I think that lady misinterpreted the turkey's behavior. He was attempting to 'mount' her. Had she submitted, he would not have scratched her. As much. Another thing, her husband manufactured some primitive weapons (sticks) to 'throw' at the turkeys until he and wife could get inside the house. Mother Gaia is striking back. The turkeys are the vanguard before the calendar winds down and she flips the switch. One turkey that I know of won't be taking part in this combat. His ass is in the oven with sweet taters.

Posted by: EROWMER at November 22, 2012 11:39 AM (kxlCQ)

374 I'm reminded of a conversation I once had when I was in training. We were talking about stray dogs and cats in the area, and the young lady I was working with opined about how sad it was that these poor animals were starving and cold.

I had just come off a ranch in Oklahoma, and without thinking told the folk about how we dealt with the problem. Every year, folk from the city would come out into the country and release pets they didn't want. Most of them starved, but some of the larger dogs formed feral packs that were a big problem for us -- they would attack calving cows and kill both the calf and the cow. They caused other problems as well. They were worse than the coyotes and wolves we normally saw, and a lot more numerous.

Since the area I lived in was pretty sparsely populated, we pretty much knew every family that lived within 20 miles, and we knew their pets and working dogs. So, if we were ever out in our trucks and saw a dog we didn't recognize running through a pasture, we just stopped the truck (or slowed down a little) and shot the thing.

After I said that, you could have heard a pin drop. Turned out that it was a PETA-heavy group. From that point on, I was marked as a serial murderer.

Posted by: billo at November 22, 2012 11:41 AM (bBB2L)

375 This will be the DOOM of humanity, - no balls and no creativity. If a rafter of turkeys even glanced at me the wrong way, I'd tase the shit out'em. In the spirit of the season.

Posted by: Fritz at November 22, 2012 11:41 AM (mqdAz)

376 Posted by: billo at November 22, 2012 11:41 AM (bBB2L)

Yup, we have the same problem here, but we never let the stray dog packs get large enough to be as big a threat as the coyotes.

Posted by: Gordon undead Ramsay at November 22, 2012 11:51 AM (9HhTH)

377 375 This will be the DOOM of humanity, - no balls and no creativity.
Posted by: Fritz at November 22, 2012 11:41 AM (mqdAz)

All hail Joerg Sprave!

Talk about creativity. Why yes, i WOULD like a slingshot that shoots machetes.

(slingshot channel on YouTube)



Posted by: RWC at November 22, 2012 11:57 AM (vujA1)

378 Les Nessman, "And then the turkeys seemed to organize and attack."

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at November 22, 2012 11:58 AM (k9TQr)

379 MA is filled with Turkeys and they all voted for o.

Posted by: Buffalobob at November 22, 2012 12:03 PM (x+7qA)

380 282
Only 4 hours til my idiot libera,l drug adeled brother in law gets here.
My wife made me promise to behave. But I am wondering if I should start
drinking now?

Posted by: Minnfidel at November 22, 2012 10:51 AM

Let idiot libtard brother in law drink himself stupid

When he leaves, call the DUI hotline with his plate number

Or put the TV on Fox news and hide the remote

Or just shove his face into the mashed potatoes

Posted by: kbdabear at November 22, 2012 12:04 PM (wwsoB)

381 " MA is filled with Turkeys and they all voted for o."

Not all of us

Posted by: BlueFalcon in Boston at November 22, 2012 12:06 PM (KCvsd)

382 343 We have Bi-Lo, IGA (2), Piggly Wiggly, and Wal-Mart,


We used to Have Harris Teeter, Winn-Dixie, and Food Lion. They are all gone now.
Posted by: Vic at November 22, 2012 11:21 AM (YdQQY)


We still have IGAs and one Piggly Wiggly a few towns away, I think. A Mad Pricer is going out of business tomorrow. Finally killed off by Wal-Mart Supers and Kroger. Food Lion went out years ago. Some of the Mom and Pops still struggle along, although I don't know how. Loyal and dispersed clientele, I imagine.

An Aldi is replacing the Mad Pricer.

Huh.

Posted by: 98ZJUSMC Waiting for the Sun at November 22, 2012 12:10 PM (fljdA)

383 Machete mandatory for walks and yard work. How faaarrr can da turkey run without da haid?

Posted by: ConcealedKerry or SubMitt at November 22, 2012 12:11 PM (mMAFL)

384 I see opportunity here for some industrious Moron.

Ride into town and offer your services as a Turkey Whisperer -- a mysterious figure, with a unique understanding of the ways of these majestic creatures, who can craft an environment where bird and human live side-by-side, with tolerance and mutual respect.

For a fee, of course.

Dressed up in some rugged, faintly western outfit, with maybe just a hint of Native American influence -- Nothing overdone -- you stride masterfully about the streets, patiently teaching the citizens of Brookline to delve deep into their pre-civilization selves, bringing them back to a simpler, more vegan, time when humans lived in accord with nature and each other.

There has GOT to be a juicy government grant somewhere in all of this.

Posted by: Sweet Lou at November 22, 2012 12:15 PM (gsPPG)

385 No Turkeys! No Violence!

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at November 22, 2012 12:16 PM (piMMO)

386 Only 4 hours til my idiot libera,l drug adeled brother in law gets here.

My wife made me promise to behave. But I am wondering if I should start

drinking now?



Posted by: Minnfidel at November 22, 2012 10:51 AM

Put a drop of buck lure in each shoe and under his car seats.

Posted by: ConcealedKerry or SubMitt at November 22, 2012 12:16 PM (mMAFL)

387 Liberals are so idiotic. But we already knew that.

Posted by: Mr. Moo Moo at November 22, 2012 12:22 PM (xR/ya)

388 I can't bring myself to drink eggnog. It's never appealed to me. Feels like a bit of a handicap at this time of year, but whaddyagonnado?

Posted by: Y-not at November 22, 2012 12:26 PM (5H6zj)

389 When I moved to town here in NC, we had a plethora of grocery stores -- Big Star, Piggly Wiggly (I Dig the Pig!), Kroger, even an A and P. Harris-Teeter started moving in and buying/merging with some of them, and others -- the local Kroger and A and P -- went out of business.

We heard at the time that a new consortium, with Dolly Parton as the major investor, was planning to buy and merge all the stores into one company called Big Wiggly Teeters.

Harris Teeter is actually a two billion dollar Charlotte company, Ruddick, that has two divisions, groceries and ... yarn.

Happy Thanksgiving, all.

Posted by: Enby at November 22, 2012 12:26 PM (ptlfZ)

390 Regarding baconed turkey, Instapundit linked this


http://tinyurl.com/b62lmr4

Posted by: Hrothgar - L.I.B or SMOD for the Children at November 22, 2012 12:48 PM (Cnqmv)

391 Happy Thanksgiving, darling morons!! Y'all are very close to the top of the list of the things I am most thankful for!

Posted by: Peaches at November 22, 2012 12:54 PM (kpCLl)

392 Buy best commercial eggnog you can find.


Pour into empty gallon water jug, leaving approximately 1 quart space.


Empty quart of applejack into the jug.


Place in refrigerator for at least 12 hours.


Happy Thanksgiving to all at AoS (except trolls)!

Posted by: Hrothgar - L.I.B or SMOD for the Children at November 22, 2012 12:55 PM (Cnqmv)

393
If you're in the area and you don't have a gun just hit them with your car. Plucking them is a pain but by golly it will be worth it.
Happy Thanksgiving, moron horde!

Posted by: DC Zombie at November 22, 2012 01:31 PM (EZ3C3)

394 Ammonia in a squirt bottle. Treat the infestation several times. It will go away.

Posted by: Pavlov at November 22, 2012 01:53 PM (z0AF3)

395
I suggest that Brookliner's sprinkle the perimeter of their yard with Bell's seasoning.

Posted by: Mr. Peabody at November 22, 2012 02:29 PM (0b17P)

396 "The kind that are big enough to clock a turkey upside the head so that
you can stick it in your fridge and then serve it later for dinner?"

Haaahahahahaaa...

Posted by: Blacque Jacques Shellacque at November 22, 2012 03:15 PM (F3HO3)

397 I've backed off a cock swan that came up on land to run me off (he had a family on the lake). I just wanted to fish after a hard day and let it be known that I would be more than happy to take him on. Discretion became the better part of valor. I got to fish and he and his own suffered no harm.

I'm 69 years old but God help the turkey that tries to attack me. If I ever get hold of a neck or a wing, they're dog food.

Richard

Posted by: Richard at November 22, 2012 03:27 PM (dNIMd)

398 Geese are easy to deal with. You grab them by the neck and there's not a lot they can do. You still gotta watch out for the wings.

Had to rescue the rooster from the geese once. The five geese had him down and were trying to peck him to pieces. Geese make good "watchdogs" because most folks are intimidated by them.

Posted by: notsothoreau at November 22, 2012 04:31 PM (uPhCY)

399 Happy Thanksgiving All!

If any place in Massachusetts deserves to be attacked by turkeys Brookline is one of the top cities, along with Cambridge, Arlington and few others.

Carol

Posted by: CarolT at November 22, 2012 04:42 PM (z4WKX)

400 I've lived in Brookline close to 40 years.
I come here for a sanity break.
Please keep me in your prayers.

Yes, the town is crawling with turkeys even these wild kind. I just give both kinds the look I give to someone wearing a Che tee shirt and they stay clear.

Not to worry, these folks are probably already looking for a sister city in Turkey.

Posted by: Sefton at November 22, 2012 08:02 PM (80R1/)

401 sometimes i camp out just to see how many people i can get to camp out behind he. Like one time I camped out at blockbuster video, and when some punks asked why, i said that in only 3 mornings the replacement disks for the directors cut of bladerunner were coming in to replace the old worn out ones. Got 5 dumbasses to camp behind me.

Then another time I camped in front of the social security office, but that was just because i needed to replace a lost card, and if you want to avoid wasting half a business day, you have to camp out at least 4 hours ahead of time

Posted by: vikingsfan at November 22, 2012 09:07 PM (DVEEo)

402 More blue state dipshits who can't deal with a few turkeys:

http://tinyurl.com/bzt54us

Don't any of these people keep a dog? We let the two Springers out and hilarity ensues.

The turkeys have learned to give our place a wide berth.

Posted by: Moar turkeys at November 23, 2012 02:32 AM (CTIW2)

403 I'm sure they will do what my small town officials in MA did. Kill ALL the birds, not just the one that caused all the trouble (oops they said, after the act)in front of a bunch of school kids because they timed the killing (oops again)to the time when the kids were coming home from school.

Posted by: J at November 23, 2012 08:12 AM (3GsRm)






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