Magazine Features Are Extremely Dumb, Written By Dumb People Who Are Usually Dishonest, So That Other Dumb People Have Something To Talk To Each Other About At Parties of Dummies

First: I saw this on Hot Air and I'm still angry about it. The Daily Beast actually paid someone to write an article which I personally would title, Breaking: "All In The Family" Was Edgy, Controversial Programming. Because that seems to be the News Bomb this cat wants to drop on you.

All in the Family was controversial. So was Ellen and Will and Grace, as it turns out. Can you believe it. Can you. Believe it.

Anyway he had to pay the rent this month so he decided to write 1700 words on Things Which Were Obvious in 1996 but he repackaged what is basically a list of his favorite family sitcoms into an article under the headline "How TV Destroyed the GOP's Family Values" or something like that. See -- topical and relevant.

This is just part of my reason for this post.

There's actually a rule in magazines, Kaus tells me. Once is happenstance -- twice is a trend! That is, any time a magazine features writer sees the same thing twice, he is now authorized to write a stupid article claiming it's a "trend."

Did you know that twice on the same day I saw men wearing colorful Sergeant Pepper style marching band uniforms in Williamsburg? I did. I'm not even lying. Hours apart, blocks apart, completely different guys.

There did not seem to be any reason for this -- they seemed to just be walking to the Post Office or whatever. This seemed to just be something they liked to do, dressing up in gold-buttoned marching band uniforms.

That was ergo a real trend and not one of these made-up trends that only exist in magazine features, which were only published because dumb people like reading dumb things, and which were only written in the first place because dumb people like paying their rent. (Well, they don't like paying it, but they also don't want to be on the street. So they invent "trends.")

I should have written that up. Marching Band Chic, I could have called it. Or Drum Major Faux-Pas about the Don'ts of marching band fashion.

But I do now have two examples of how insanely stupid magazine features are. So now I'm doing a trend piece of my own.

A guy at Slate -- brace yourselves, I'm about to approvingly cite Slate, and suggest you read something on that amateur webzine -- has gone through a bunch of alleged and very dubious "trends" he read about in the New York Times. He kind of suspects the writers are just making stuff up to pay their rent (my words, his implication).

So he went out, Joe Queenan style*, and tried to jump on seven of these trends.

I sort of think that this writer, who's exposing the made-up-edness of magazine "trend" pieces, is himself making stuff up about his exploits in following trends; I would guess he did none of the things he writes about. But I guess that's just a bigger meta commentary about the central falsity of this genre. Or something.

Point is, it's it's pretty funny and it goofs on the New York Times and media vapidness and dishonesty as a general matter.

“Americans Are Barmy Over Britishisms” [linking NYT article with that title]: "What's up?" "You the man." "Take it easy." I use these slang phrases all the time, which is one of the top five reasons I've never been invited back to the Yale Club. According to the Times, British slang is the only slang that a trendy American ought to use: “Snippets of British vernacular—‘cheers’ as a thank you, ‘brilliant’ as an affirmative, ‘loo’ as a bathroom—that were until recently as rare as steak and kidney pie on these shores are cropping up in the daily speech of Americans (particularly, New Yorkers) of the taste-making set who often have no more direct tie to Britain than an affinity for Downton Abbey,” the NYT’s Alex Williams writes.

I was in England earlier this year, and though I spent most of my time being jetlagged and avoiding their hideous breakfasts, I did pick up some slang—words like lorry, as in "I would rather be hit by a lorry than eat another English breakfast." So I figured this would be easy. I boned up on my Britishisms by rereading Brideshead Revisited and consulting the Wikipedia entry on British slang. When Hurricane Sandy knocked out the electricity, I couldn’t hold it in any longer. "Well, this is all to cock!" I cried.

"Your cock?" my wife said.

"No, no, it's all to cock!"

"Alter cock?"

"It's. All. To. Cock!" I said again, gesturing emphatically.

"I don't get it," she said.

My friend Dan came downstairs, looking particularly pleased with himself. "Well, you're a regular Jack the Lad," I informed him.

"What?"

"You're no Joe Soap, sir. You're Jack the Lad!"

Dan paused. “Greaat …” he said.

"Numpty," I said under my breath. “What’s a numpty?” my wife asked. “That’s exactly the sort of thing a numpty woud say,” I snapped.

Later, in need of some light, I resolved to hammer a candle into an empty Coke can to make an impromptu candleabra. But I needed the right tools. "Do we have a Birmingham screwdriver?" I asked. My wife paused before answering: "Well, I'm sure there are some tools around here."

"Yes, but do we have a Birmingham screwdriver?"

"I don't know how to answer your weird question!" she wailed.

I had discovered one of the main problems with being trendy: If you don’t hang out with other trendy people, then what’s the use?

Worth a read, I think.

* Two of Joe Queenan's best known articles contain this schtick. In one, he attempted the various cons and ploys he sees in movies, where they work, in real life, where it turns out they don't. In another, he attempted to Live a Day as Mickey Rourke, dressing as Mickey Rourke, drinking hard like Mickey Rourke, trying to have casual sex like Mickey Rourke, chainsmoking like Mickey Rourke, and speaking almost entirely in movie lines once uttered by John Stamos.

No, uttered by Mickey Rourke. Got bored of writing the name there, thought I'd change it up.

But sometimes you gotta just roll the potato.

Posted by: Ace at 06:21 PM



Comments

1 Nope

Posted by: In Cognito at November 15, 2012 06:23 PM (GX2fm)

2 So "trend" articles are a form of Lifemanship?

Posted by: Waterhouse at November 15, 2012 06:24 PM (hMDsG)

3 But sometimes you gotta just roll the potato.

---

And sometimes the potato rolls you.

Posted by: WalrusRex at November 15, 2012 06:25 PM (Hx5uv)

4 Magazines: Ellen Degeneres is Gay! Also, Stevie Wonder is Blind!

Posted by: Kevin in ABQ at November 15, 2012 06:26 PM (5UcDQ)

5 Wait, what?

Posted by: 10 Simple Ways To Lose That Belly Fat Once and For All at November 15, 2012 06:26 PM (QKKT0)

6 Whatever. i just saw a an ad with Carrie Underwood in stompy thigh boots.

Posted by: logprof at November 15, 2012 06:27 PM (jKE+Z)

7 Marching Band suits are over man!

Posted by: Guy in Portland throwing away his marching band suit in disgust at November 15, 2012 06:27 PM (+lsX1)

8 LOL @ the headline.

Posted by: Serious Cat at November 15, 2012 06:28 PM (UypUQ)

9 Hey, this is kinda like *Inception* - my head hurts already.

Posted by: hannitys_hybrid at November 15, 2012 06:28 PM (zpqa2)

10
Let's face it: Petraeus boned Paula Broadwell like a Thanksgiving Turkey because Mrs. P. is basically a 200 lbs hamster in a dress.

Posted by: CoolCzech at November 15, 2012 06:28 PM (niZvt)

11 One good thing about the country blowing up - EVERYTHING is funnier. Not in a haha way. More in a 'one step from the butterfly nets' kind of way. I'll add this post to that collection. I'm really starting to enjoy this aspect of the end times.

Posted by: Is what JQ Public is thinking.... at November 15, 2012 06:28 PM (Zewvt)

12 I'd rather eat a potato than roll it around. A potato stuffed with bacon bits and sour cream and cheese.

Posted by: kathysaysso at November 15, 2012 06:29 PM (y5uWA)

13
Marching Band suits are over man!


When guys in Williamsburg start wearing 'em, that's when I stop.

Posted by: Moammar Khaddafi at November 15, 2012 06:29 PM (QKKT0)

14 @ 11

Me too. Plus there's the alcohol -- there's that.

Posted by: hannitys_hybrid at November 15, 2012 06:29 PM (zpqa2)

15 I started this trend of writing about how all these hack writers are writing about dubious trends. Looks like everyone's jumping on the bandwagon now.

Posted by: Gristle Encased Head at November 15, 2012 06:29 PM (+lsX1)

16 My ex-wife was one of those writers. She didn't know shit, didn't want to know shit, and she had moved on to the next thing before the ink was dry. The final irony was that later she edited a magazine on a topic she knew next to nothing about. Did it rather well for all that.

Posted by: SurferDoc at November 15, 2012 06:30 PM (6H6FZ)

17 she sounds like a real numpty.

Posted by: ace at November 15, 2012 06:30 PM (LCRYB)

18 I'm not really sure what just happened......

Posted by: Adam at November 15, 2012 06:30 PM (/YJYi)

19 I must admit, Slate did manage to find a nut and that trendiness articles was funny. I loved the bit about the Britishisms. Yes, all the Britishisms are from Downtown Abbey. Yup. Totes Downtown Abbey and not Harry Potter. Indeedy deed.



Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD. Our only hope. Literally. at November 15, 2012 06:32 PM (Gk3SS)

20 The dumbing-down is complete when dumb articles need to be written about how dumb the articles are.

Posted by: hannitys_hybrid at November 15, 2012 06:32 PM (zpqa2)

21 10

wrong but i lol'd

Posted by: JDP at November 15, 2012 06:32 PM (60GaT)

22 My ex-wife was one of those writers. She didn't know shit, didn't want
to know shit, and she had moved on to the next thing before the ink was
dry. The final irony was that later she edited a magazine on a topic she
knew next to nothing about. Did it rather well for all that.


Writing shit, then editing shit. What comes next, publishing shit?

Also known as, The New York Times

Posted by: John P. Squibob at November 15, 2012 06:33 PM (kqqGm)

23 Remember, there's only one 'w' in Downton Abey.

Posted by: logprof at November 15, 2012 06:33 PM (jKE+Z)

24 Marching Band suits.....I'm still giggling.

Sounds like Little Five Points in Atlanta on Saturday night.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at November 15, 2012 06:33 PM (UOM48)

25 Her big thing was she wanted her name in print and she wanted it one specific prestige magazine. She went after that and got it, literally not caring about any other considerations along the way. It was one of the best lessons about media and media people I ever could have had.

Posted by: SurferDoc at November 15, 2012 06:33 PM (6H6FZ)

26 I've learned that all that advice crap in women's magazines is made up by some know-nothing freelancer getting paid by the word, and that it doesn't matter whether the advice is valid or not because not a single reader will ever try to implement it.

Women just like to talk about problems. And read about them.

*ducks*

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at November 15, 2012 06:33 PM (QKKT0)

27 "When guys in Williamsburg start wearing 'em, that's when I stop.
Posted by: Moammar Khaddafi"

You look better in dresses anyway. At least you did before your people wised up and killed your ass.

Posted by: nerdygirl at November 15, 2012 06:34 PM (0BKNj)

28 Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD. Our only hope. Literally. at November 15, 2012 06:32 PM (Gk3SS)



Check the previous thread....Chemjeff has located your future Alextopia....

Posted by: Jane D'oh at November 15, 2012 06:34 PM (UOM48)

29
I say old chap, this post is a bit of a sticky wicket...

Also, we should round up all these trend writers and beat they ass!

Posted by: Sgt. Fury at November 15, 2012 06:34 PM (wmR6i)

30 Until people get the fucking point. I voted for RR. I supported them. But in the end people don't want to be sold the "don't raise taxes on rich people" message by a guy with more money than whatever deity he worships on that other planet. Oh yeah, and somebody's who's not a Mormon.

RUBIO-TOM COTTON in 2016. I swear to Christ that there needs to be a baseball bat taken to anyone who thinks that Bachman or Palin are anywhere near viable candidates. Good people, sure, but not for fucking national office. The fact that they would try to run shows the hubris. I mean WTF???

Posted by: Prescient11 at November 15, 2012 06:34 PM (tVTLU)

31 Postmodern Family: The Next Frontier


Posted by: JDP at November 15, 2012 06:35 PM (60GaT)

32 I forgot to include AoSHQ

Posted by: John P. Squibob at November 15, 2012 06:35 PM (kqqGm)

33 The Daily Beast actually paid someone to write an article which I personally would title, Breaking: "All In The Family" Was Edgy, Controversial Programming.

This is surprising? The Daily Beast also pays Meghan McCain to put her deepest thoughts down in crayon.

Then she writes about how the crayons taste

Posted by: kbdabear at November 15, 2012 06:35 PM (wwsoB)

34 And British breakfasts are Teh Suck. Ugh.

Also, cocktails without ice and warm beer.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at November 15, 2012 06:35 PM (UOM48)

35 @14 Ah yes - the booze. Is it that or is it that weve stopped worrying about needing any sort of permission or decorum to drink it? And the beautiful answer to THAT is a hearty 'who gives a fuck?.' This whole 'death and destruction' thing just might work out after all....just sayin'

Posted by: Is what JQ Public is thinking.... at November 15, 2012 06:36 PM (uKl/W)

36 I think it's safe to call this a slow news day.

Posted by: T at November 15, 2012 06:36 PM (wPxpc)

37 Posted by: CoolCzech at November 15, 2012 06:28 PM (niZvt)

Listen, you, Mrs. P is a fine, upstand...

...ing...

...

Okay, you're probably right.

Posted by: Secundus at November 15, 2012 06:36 PM (g3jwX)

38 I predict a new sitcom, featuring death panels. "Mom and Pop Get Offed." Hilarity will ensue.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at November 15, 2012 06:36 PM (UOM48)

39
"I've learned that all that advice crap in women's magazines is made up
by some know-nothing freelancer getting paid by the word, and that it
doesn't matter whether the advice is valid or not because not a single
reader will ever try to implement it."

It is very likely that it is recycled from an article published three years ago, maybe in the same magazine. They recycle certain topics on a annual, three or five year schedule in so-called Service Magazines.

Posted by: SurferDoc at November 15, 2012 06:36 PM (6H6FZ)

40 We'll be adopting UK healthcare, might as well appropriate their slang.

Posted by: Dante at November 15, 2012 06:37 PM (NWLVJ)

41 Who's up for some spotted dick?

Posted by: Erg b hungry at November 15, 2012 06:37 PM (JJ+PT)

42 Magazine Features Are Extremely Dumb, Written By Dumb People Who Are Usually Dishonest, So That Other Dumb People Have Something To Talk To Each Other About At Parties of Dummies—Ace
--- ----- ----- ----- ----- ----- ----- ---- ---- ---- ---- --- ---


Sounds like something best ignored then.

Posted by: Meremortal says Starve The Beast, Go Galt at November 15, 2012 06:37 PM (1Y+hH)

43 I predict a new sitcom, featuring death panels. "Mom and Pop Get Offed." Hilarity will ensue.

Kinda' like Queen For A Day, but the winner loses?

Posted by: John P. Squibob at November 15, 2012 06:37 PM (kqqGm)

44 "I've learned that all that advice crap in women's magazines is made up

by some know-nothing freelancer getting paid by the word, and that it

doesn't matter whether the advice is valid or not because not a single

reader will ever try to implement it."

---

Next you'll be telling me the letters to Penthouse Forum are made up.

Posted by: WalrusRex at November 15, 2012 06:37 PM (Hx5uv)

45 /off sock

Posted by: Joe Mama at November 15, 2012 06:37 PM (JJ+PT)

46 propahrrr

Posted by: LC LaWedgie at November 15, 2012 06:38 PM (rzTDZ)

47 "26 I've learned that all that advice crap in women's magazines is made up by some know-nothing freelancer getting paid by the word,"

But the sex quizzes in Cosmo Magazine are scientific, right?

Posted by: nerdygirl at November 15, 2012 06:38 PM (0BKNj)

48
Slow news day?

That's a relief. It's those big news days that have us all grabbing our asses to hang on to what remains.

Posted by: Reader C.J. Burch writes..... at November 15, 2012 06:38 PM (RFeQD)

49 And British breakfasts are Teh Suck. Ugh.

Fried toast! What's not to like?!

Posted by: Secundus at November 15, 2012 06:38 PM (g3jwX)

50 Check the previous thread....Chemjeff has located your future Alextopia....




Posted by: Jane D'oh at November 15, 2012 06:34 PM (UOM4


Will do.
Oh and in important I am totally not spoiled why would anyone ever think such a thing news, I come home, walk into my apartment and go huh what smells good. Then I notice the pot on the stove. Mommy not only made me home made chicken soup, she brought it over to the apartment and left it simmering on the stove so that it would be warm when I got home. I. Win. Bitches.

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD. Our only hope. Literally. at November 15, 2012 06:38 PM (Gk3SS)

51 Next you'll be telling me the letters to Penthouse Forum are made up.


Posted by: WalrusRex at November 15, 2012 06:37 PM (Hx5uv)


Wait.....WHAT?!

Posted by: Tami at November 15, 2012 06:39 PM (X6akg)

52 And British breakfasts are Teh Suck. Ugh.

There's a reason they invaded India. They had to find somebody who could cook.

Posted by: Meiczyslaw at November 15, 2012 06:39 PM (4+LTj)

53
If you think breakfasts in Britain are bad, you should travel in China and experience a "Chinese breakfast".

Weirder than can be possibly imagined unless you have.

Posted by: Reader C.J. Burch writes..... at November 15, 2012 06:39 PM (RFeQD)

54 I dunno....he prolly did the "man bun' thing.

Posted by: BignJames at November 15, 2012 06:40 PM (rlFQ+)

55 Yah, so you got:

The Noble Savage (that one's been around since the 17th century)

EvoPsych (and all forms of evo-ism)

PolySci (we really make this shit up)

The Evolving Family (when we really don't want to try too hard; see, Sitcoms, US)

Gay Theater (in pretend real-life, we mean)

Valiant Public Servants (ha ha ha ha ha)

5 Myths about X (somebody doesn't know the meaning of "myth"

Well, that's just a few off the top o' my penis.









Posted by: Cricket at November 15, 2012 06:40 PM (2ArJQ)

56 I predict a new sitcom, featuring death panels. "Mom and Pop Get Offed." Hilarity will ensue.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at November 15, 2012 06:36 PM (UOM4

Or a game show. "Hello again, and welcome toooooo... Plug Pullers!"

Posted by: Secundus at November 15, 2012 06:40 PM (g3jwX)

57
Next you'll be telling me the letters to Penthouse Forum are made up.


Hey, I have a lady friend who makes good money writing that stuff. She's on retainer and has a monthly quota.

Erg like to read that stuff. It's as close as he'll ever get to sex.

Posted by: Meremortal says Starve The Beast, Go Galt at November 15, 2012 06:41 PM (1Y+hH)

58 So then this is the meta-i need something to write about post wherein needing something to write about you note and explain a trend of other writers in need of something to write about noting and explaining trends. Do I have that right?

Posted by: MikeTheMoose at November 15, 2012 06:41 PM (gLXfE)

59 Mommy not only made me home made chicken soup, she
brought it over to the apartment and left it simmering on the stove so
that it would be warm when I got home. I. Win. Bitches.


Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD. Our only hope. Literally. at November 15, 2012 06:38 PM (Gk3SS)


No cake? Check the fridge.

Posted by: Tami at November 15, 2012 06:42 PM (X6akg)

60 Let it burn.

Posted by: BuddyPC at November 15, 2012 06:43 PM (jfUIE)

61 Hey, I have a lady friend who makes good money writing that stuff. She's on retainer and has a monthly quota.

There's money in that?

There's a NaNoWriMo joke there.

Posted by: Meiczyslaw at November 15, 2012 06:43 PM (4+LTj)

62 #30
The tax the rich issue works for dems because shallow , short-sighted people love a tax that they don't have to pay. Doesn't matter that it could hurt the economy. Doesn't matter that it won't solve the spending problem.

Almost all people think the cigarette tax is great because they don't have to pay it.

Posted by: nerdygirl at November 15, 2012 06:44 PM (0BKNj)

63 “Americans Are Barmy Over Britishisms”

Piffle.

Posted by: @PurpAv at November 15, 2012 06:44 PM (Ll5gC)

64 What you talkin about Willis!

Posted by: Whatev at November 15, 2012 06:44 PM (2t6Gz)

65 Awwww Ace

Thanks for this one. It's the best thing you've written since election night. I liked the skyfall review too.

Posted by: L, just L at November 15, 2012 06:44 PM (0PiQ4)

66 Americans Are Barmy Over Britishisms”

Piffle.


Piss Off.

Posted by: John P. Squibob at November 15, 2012 06:45 PM (kqqGm)

67 Posted by: 10 Simple Ways To Lose That Belly Fat Once and For All

Posted by: Using This One Old Weird Trick at November 15, 2012 06:45 PM (z9HTb)

68 I've been watching a hell of a lot of Top Gear courtesy of Netflix streaming and I think I have quite the handle on British slang. One other thing is for certain: this country's now cocked courtesy of the election. Thanks fuckwits!

Posted by: sans_sheriff at November 15, 2012 06:45 PM (HgwiM)

69 So, right after the election I sent letters via the website to my senators (McConnel, Paul) and my representative-elect. (the basic gist was to calm down with the wemustadoptdemocratplanks panic)

I actually got a direct email response from Rand Paul that directly addressed the root of my concern.

I'm still amazed. Predictably, nothing from McConnell. In a month I'll get a form letter in snail mail. I so want to primary that asshole.

Posted by: sdavis at November 15, 2012 06:45 PM (njVMI)

70 No cake? Check the fridge.


Posted by: Tami at November 15, 2012 06:42 PM (X6akg)


Nah, I got cookies the other day so she stocked me up with that kind of stuff.

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD. Our only hope. Literally. at November 15, 2012 06:46 PM (Gk3SS)

71
Will do.
Oh and in important I am totally not
spoiled why would anyone ever think such a thing news, I come home,
walk into my apartment and go huh what smells good. Then I notice the
pot on the stove. Mommy not only made me home made chicken soup, she
brought it over to the apartment and left it simmering on the stove so
that it would be warm when I got home. I. Win. Bitches.


Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD. Our only hope. Literally. at November 15, 2012 06:38 PM (Gk3SS)



I love your mom. Hug her for me.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at November 15, 2012 06:46 PM (UOM48)

72
Ace: Those were chassidim - not The Beatles!

Posted by: Walkers! at November 15, 2012 06:46 PM (7l6VK)

73 Bugger off mate!

Posted by: @PurpAv at November 15, 2012 06:46 PM (Ll5gC)

74 Screw those hipster idiots. They're zombie food.

Now, Shotgun News readers tend to be better informed about important stuff, for example - the new .22 caliber replica StG44... or mags, parts, ammo, tactical tips, cleaning tricks, proper nomenclature, etc. Important stuff in post-Fall America.


Posted by: Uncle Flappy's Horse Pellets at November 15, 2012 06:46 PM (K24Ca)

75 Say mitzi , MITZI , I was just talking to Babs about that simply
Brilliant article over at the Daily Beast...It really hit on the deeper meaning of our socity and the way those Scoundrels think...hahaha !

If an article could Fart the Beast article would qualify...

Posted by: AmericanDawg at November 15, 2012 06:46 PM (XIsD/)

76 34 Jane D'oh,

I dunno back when I drank on occasion I liked cold Long john Silver's stuff....that's "sorta Brit"

Posted by: sven10077 at November 15, 2012 06:47 PM (LRFds)

77 Nah, I got cookies the other day so she stocked me up with that kind of stuff.


Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD. Our only hope. Literally. at November 15, 2012 06:46 PM (Gk3SS)

She lookin' to adopt?

Posted by: Tami at November 15, 2012 06:47 PM (X6akg)

78 Is everyone here or in the open thread? I don't know where to go with my O/T comment.

Apparently, my gov Nikki Haley has also reaffirmed today her stance to not set up health insurance exchanges in SC. Can some 'ron smarter than I envision how it will play out if many states jump on this same stance and not set these exchanges up?


Posted by: Lady in Black at November 15, 2012 06:48 PM (lTVJy)

79 Next you'll be telling me the letters to Penthouse Forum are made up.

Dear Penthouse Letters:

It was a cold, overcast day on the Jersey Shore and the planet was still angry. I felt the tension in the air and the need to loosen my belt buckle by seven notches.

But there also was a raw sexuality I felt in my loins, a primordial need to express my ambivalence toward conventional roles of sexuality. Then He approached and I felt my knees buckle. I fell to my knees and reached out for his surging...

Posted by: Chris C at November 15, 2012 06:49 PM (feFL6)

80 10 -

That's not right. She's 190 lbs, tops.

Hamster in a dress.... heh.

Look, if you say you wouldn't bop Paula Broadwell if you had the chance, you're gay... unless you're a chick, in which case, you're not.

So other than the bopping, you have to find some reason why this Petreaus affair is an outrage. And if you can't do that, then have fun with it.


Posted by: BurtTC at November 15, 2012 06:49 PM (BeSEI)

81 Y'know, completely off topic, but I figured something out today:

Observation: There's a lot of Hillary bumper stickers out today. New ones.

Postulate: There is a contingent of people who pulled the lever for Obama not because they like him, but because they didn't want two terms of Mitt to keep Hillary out of the White House.

Posted by: JEM at November 15, 2012 06:50 PM (o+SC1)

82 In England years ago with ex-boyfriend, we hopped the train from London to Dover. Walked into a smoke-filled pub (and when I say "smoke-filled" I mean like tear gas for non-smokers) and a local heard us talking. Said, "Oh look. Bloody colonists."

We bought a few rounds and all was well. The cig smoke......unbelievable. *cough hack cough*

Posted by: Jane D'oh at November 15, 2012 06:50 PM (UOM48)

83 If you think breakfasts in Britain are bad, you should travel in China and experience a "Chinese breakfast".Weirder than can be possibly imagined unless you have.
Posted by: Reader C.J. Burch writes..... at November 15, 2012 06:39 PM (RFeQD)

The post above is wisdom. Those little bastards eat some weird shit.

Posted by: The Jackhole at November 15, 2012 06:50 PM (nTgAI)

84 Lolz.

Also, Britishisms. I know them well. My wife is English and says gibberish like "Up the dancers" and "the dreaded lurgy." WTF is up with that shit?

Posted by: Witchfinder at November 15, 2012 06:50 PM (pLTLS)

85 I predict a new sitcom, featuring death panels. "Mom and Pop Get Offed." Hilarity will ensue. Posted by: Jane D'oh at November 15, 2012 06:36 PM (UOM4 Or a game show. "Hello again, and welcome toooooo... Plug Pullers!"
Posted by: Secundus at November 15, 2012 06:40 PM (g3jwX)


------------------------------------------


With the inevitable decline in social norms and morals and the Ocare mentality, we'll have tv shows like: "Death to the Loser" or "Win Your Fucking Life".

Posted by: Soona at November 15, 2012 06:50 PM (0Y8Gz)

86 Does anybody here watch Wheeler Dealers?

Those dirty limey's, how do they make any money?? They spend three weeks working on a car and come up with a 1k pound sterling profit? I'm always like WTF, how is it worth your time????

Although they crack me up and seem like good guys.

Posted by: Prescient11 at November 15, 2012 06:50 PM (tVTLU)

87 @ 79 You're a sick, sick man.

I LOL'd

Posted by: hannitys_hybrid at November 15, 2012 06:51 PM (zpqa2)

88 'Kinda' like Queen For A Day, but the winner loses?'

Yuch. When I was about 8 my best friend's sister was diagnosed with bone cancer. In those days that was a death sentence. This 8 year old girl wrote a letter to that show about her sister, hoping that this 13 year old cancer victim would be "picked". Of course she never heard from them. Even then I knew the whole thing was just creepy.

Posted by: nerdygirl at November 15, 2012 06:51 PM (0BKNj)

89 78 -

The feds will do it for you, apparently.

States' rights? Don't be silly. There are no states' rights.

Posted by: BurtTC at November 15, 2012 06:51 PM (BeSEI)

90 "Magazine Features Are Extremely Dumb, Written By Dumb People Who Are Usually Dishonest, So That Other Dumb People Have Something To Talk To Each Other About At Parties of Dummies"

Absolutely true.

"That was ergo a real trend and not one of these made-up trends that only exist in magazine features, which were only published because dumb people like reading dumb things, and which were only written in the first place because dumb people like paying their rent. (Well, they don't like paying it, but they also don't want to be on the street. So they invent "trends.")"

Absolutely true.

(As an aside, most (or, perhaps, all) trends, real or otherwise, are dumb.)


But, without having read the article in question, nor intending to do so, and going only by the title, its thesis strikes me as mostly correct. Which is to say, Leftists do employ TeeVee shows as a way to socially engineer ... society.

Posted by: Mirror-Universe Mitt Romney at November 15, 2012 06:52 PM (hhVWg)

91 Best magazines to write for: the bridal magazines. The profit margins are insanely huge so the word rate is very handsome -- almost in Playboy's "dollar-a-keystroke" league. Plus, nobody every buys more than about two issues so you can just recycle the same articles over and over.

Posted by: Trimegistus at November 15, 2012 06:53 PM (3TVHI)

92 85 Soona,

it is why Arec Borwin be damned I am not sure his mockery is enough to make me want to stay marrried to the United States of Democrat.

Posted by: sven10077 at November 15, 2012 06:53 PM (LRFds)

93 Postulate: There is a contingent of people who pulled the lever for Obama not because they like him, but because they didn't want two terms of Mitt to keep Hillary out of the White House.
Posted by: JEM at November 15, 2012 06:50 PM (o+SC1)


------------------------------------------


Good observation because I met two women the other day that voted Dear Leader for the same reason.

Posted by: Soona at November 15, 2012 06:53 PM (0Y8Gz)

94 The mainstreaming/"cutization" of homosexuality is a rather obvious example of this.

Posted by: Mirror-Universe Mitt Romney at November 15, 2012 06:54 PM (hhVWg)

95 'If you think breakfasts in Britain are bad, you should travel in China and experience a "Chinese breakfast".'

My brother went to China a couple times on business. He said you eat what they give you and don't ask too many questions about what it is.

Posted by: nerdygirl at November 15, 2012 06:54 PM (0BKNj)

96 Who wants to talk about Marco Rubio and Tom Cotton....

Posted by: Prescient11 at November 15, 2012 06:54 PM (tVTLU)

97 What the deuce is wrong with me?!

Posted by: Joe Soap at November 15, 2012 06:55 PM (I2LwF)

98 89 Burt TC,

This is setting up a nice pure 10th Amendment test case for all the marbles.

They'll have to show me the power in the Constitution that is being used to trump the state's perogative and we may finally tell SCotUS directly "fuck you" finally.

Posted by: sven10077 at November 15, 2012 06:55 PM (LRFds)

99 We'd be lucky to implement the horrible UK healthcare.

Our version will be much much worse.

Posted by: AmishDude at November 15, 2012 06:56 PM (xSegX)

100 93 Soona,

Yeah well I strive to be a chivary bound guy so...."......"

Posted by: sven10077 at November 15, 2012 06:56 PM (LRFds)

101 She lookin' to adopt?


Posted by: Tami at November 15, 2012 06:47 PM (X6akg)


I'm pretty sure the waiting list to get adopted by Mommy is roughly the same length as the list for Packers season tickets.
Jane, I do indeed think a gambling riverboat would be perfect for alextopia.

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD. Our only hope. Literally. at November 15, 2012 06:56 PM (Gk3SS)

102 What's the difference between Barack Obama and my refrigerator?





The refrigerator doesn't fart when I take my meat out of it.

Posted by: Reggie L. at November 15, 2012 06:56 PM (BeSEI)

103 I really like hearing british slang but I hate hearing Americans say it.

Women do this. They tend to start imitating Britspeak if they go to England.

Someone I knew dropped an "It's all sorted" on me and I was like, "Stop it." For some reason it really bothered me. Like she had to earn the right to say "it's all sorted" or "I'm knackered" and I didn't think she'd earned her stripes.

I don't know why I get mad about this, but I do. Something deep inside me doesn't want people to do it.



Posted by: ace at November 15, 2012 06:56 PM (LCRYB)

104
Sorry but my head hurts at this shit. Loved the headline.

Posted by: Cheri at November 15, 2012 06:57 PM (EAgmr)

105
Barmy -
If someone tells you that you're barmy they mean you have gone mad or crazy. For example you'd have to be barmy to visit England without trying black pudding!

Posted by: Guy Mohawk at November 15, 2012 06:57 PM (3BbLJ)

106 98 and 89:

WAY TO GO Nikki Haley. Now that's some balls!! Hopefully many follow suit. Although that fuck from Nebraska apparently caved.

Posted by: Prescient11 at November 15, 2012 06:57 PM (tVTLU)

107 102:
fucking hilarious.

Posted by: Prescient11 at November 15, 2012 06:58 PM (tVTLU)

108 brace yourselves, I'm about to approvingly cite Slate, and suggest you read something on that amateur webzine -- Ace

No surprise. You regularly link to Tepid Air, dude, the home of namby-pamby Basement Bloggers.

At least "Slate" doesn't have The Captain, The Generalissimo and some clown who calls himself "Jazz."

Posted by: MrScribbler, banned at TepidAir at November 15, 2012 06:58 PM (yKUrR)

109 Jane, I do indeed think a gambling riverboat would be perfect for alextopia.


Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD. Our only hope. Literally. at November 15, 2012 06:56 PM (Gk3SS



Plus, there's the boat aspect. I picture you in stompy boots and a female pirate's outfit. You'll need to design an appropriate flag.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at November 15, 2012 06:58 PM (UOM48)

110 But Madonna does this - it is so iritating

Posted by: Cheri at November 15, 2012 06:59 PM (EAgmr)

111 "103 I really like hearing british slang but I hate hearing Americans say it.

Women do this. They tend to start imitating Britspeak if they go to England.

Someone I knew dropped an "It's all sorted" on me and I was like, "Stop it." For some reason it really bothered me. Like she had to earn the right to say "it's all sorted" or "I'm knackered" and I didn't think she'd earned her stripes.

I don't know why I get mad about this, but I do. Something deep inside me doesn't want people to do it.



Posted by: ace at November 15, 2012 06:56 PM (LCRYB) "

Britain is a rather "classist" country. If one is going to imitate British slang, one should at least attempt to imitate the speech patterns of the upper echelons of British society. Innit?

Posted by: Mirror-Universe Mitt Romney at November 15, 2012 06:59 PM (hhVWg)

112 Posted by: ace at November 15, 2012 06:56 PM (LCRYB



One of the many things I hate about Madonna....the acquired fake British accent.


Kill me now. No, wait....

Posted by: Jane D'oh at November 15, 2012 06:59 PM (UOM48)

113
Bob's your uncle -
This is a well used phrase. It is added to the end of sentences a bit like and that's it!
For example if you are telling someone how to make that fabulous
banoffee pie you just served them, you would tell them to boil the
condensed milk for three hours, spread it onto a basic cheesecake base,
slice bananas on top, add some whipped double cream, another layer of banana and Bob's your uncle!

Posted by: Guy Mohawk at November 15, 2012 06:59 PM (3BbLJ)

114 103 Ace,

I hated hearing my ex do it....of course she was a Brit so that sucked....

no seriously I speak with a slight Albertan drawl when angry...the faux Brit thing is like fingers on a chalk board and when they do Faux American it is seldom as bad.

Posted by: sven10077 at November 15, 2012 07:00 PM (LRFds)

115 That fapping thing, whatever the hell it is, that people around here say all the time sounds like some Brittishism to me.

Posted by: In Cognito at November 15, 2012 07:00 PM (JCIjD)

116 Did you get a reject from Harpers this week?

Posted by: Jean at November 15, 2012 07:01 PM (uekSI)

117 Someone I knew dropped an "It's all sorted" on me and I was like, "Stop it." For some reason it really bothered me. Like she had to earn the right to say "it's all sorted" or "I'm knackered" and I didn't think she'd earned her stripes. I don't know why I get mad about this, but I do. Something deep inside me doesn't want people to do it.
Posted by: ace at November 15, 2012 06:56 PM (LCRYB)


----------------------------------------------------------


Fucking wankers. (I have to admit, I do use this one)

Posted by: Soona at November 15, 2012 07:01 PM (0Y8Gz)

118 Bollocks.

Posted by: Lurker who has recently stopped lurking at November 15, 2012 07:01 PM (xfWVe)

119 111 MUMR,

Unless of course shame and/or divine justice forces you to go cockney in lockstep with detroit....

My ancestral home was in Lincolnshire.

Posted by: sven10077 at November 15, 2012 07:01 PM (LRFds)

120 They call cigarettes "fags."

Posted by: Jane D'oh at November 15, 2012 07:02 PM (UOM48)

121 115 In Cognito,

I do believe that would be a hordeism for diddling....

Posted by: sven10077 at November 15, 2012 07:02 PM (LRFds)

122 There is a girl I work with. Born in Texas, raised here, never left the country. She was married to a guy from England for about a year. Now everything is bollocks this and cheers that.

Cheers is a great sitcom starring Ted Danson, not a fucking way to end a conversation. Damn it pisses me off.

Posted by: Jolly Roger at November 15, 2012 07:02 PM (uVpIL)

123 Did you get a reject from Harpers this week?


Damn! That was cruel.

Posted by: Clubber Lang at November 15, 2012 07:03 PM (z9HTb)

124 120 Jane D'oh,


he-ah we call dem bawneys

//Bawney Fwank

Posted by: sven10077 at November 15, 2012 07:03 PM (LRFds)

125 Bob's your uncle.

Posted by: somebody else, not me at November 15, 2012 07:03 PM (nZvGM)

126 "119 111 MUMR,

Unless of course shame and/or divine justice forces you to go cockney in lockstep with detroit....

My ancestral home was in Lincolnshire.

Posted by: sven10077 at November 15, 2012 07:01 PM (LRFds) "

Once you go cockney... well... you might as well just go full Biden.

Posted by: Mirror-Universe Mitt Romney at November 15, 2012 07:03 PM (hhVWg)

127 Drunk = Pissed

Posted by: Cheri at November 15, 2012 07:03 PM (EAgmr)

128 120 -

That's odd, they kept calling me a cigarette when I was over there.

Posted by: Barack O. at November 15, 2012 07:03 PM (BeSEI)

129 True story:

The wifey and family were at Epcot, the French exhibit. Buying the kids a couple of pieces of chocolate. I've spent time in the UK for work, so I get the slang.

Anyway the wife is in line to check out. Some attractive Brit woman comes up and says, "Excuse me, are you queueing?" My wife just stares at her like I have no idea what you are saying. The Brit persists: "Are you queueing? Is this the back of the queue?"

And then the Brit starts to get really frustrated. I step in as I come back to the line and tell my wife that she was asking about where the line was.

But imagine the craziness of that. Somebody speaking to you in English but completely using one new word that is the foundation of the communication. Surreal to say the least!!! It would be better if it was a completely foreign language. Anyway, it was absolutely hilarious.

Posted by: Prescient11 at November 15, 2012 07:03 PM (tVTLU)

130 122 Jolly Roger,

She calls you a barrister more than once punch her in the mouth...

Posted by: sven10077 at November 15, 2012 07:04 PM (LRFds)

131 I don't know why I get mad about this, but I do. Something deep inside me doesn't want people to do it.



Posted by: ace at November 15, 2012 06:56 PM (LCRYB)



Want to know why it bugs you? Cultural appropriation combined with a rather blatant attempt to appear classier simply because it's a Britishism without regard to whether said usage is upper or lower class.


I've started my share of flame wars in fandom by pointing out that it is demanded that any US writer who writes in a British fandom use a "Brit picker" to root out the differences between US and UK slang however there is no such reciprocal expectation that UK writers will find an American to go through and do the same. I've explained to far far too many people that Americans have no fucking idea what revising for exams means not to mention that you aren't going to pop into the lift to go to the car park to check in the boot for a torch.

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD. Our only hope. Literally. at November 15, 2012 07:04 PM (Gk3SS)

132 I also enjoy when my English wife returns from the UK and has reacquired her complete London accent. Ha! You should hear her imitate her Scouser relatives. That shit is jibber jabber. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OHfIAoF8gEc

Posted by: Witchfinder at November 15, 2012 07:04 PM (pLTLS)

133 >>>No surprise. You regularly link to Tepid Air, dude, the home of namby-pamby Basement Bloggers.


McScribbler, since you have such strong opinions on blogging, why don't you do the world a favor and show us what a real blog should look like?

Posted by: ace at November 15, 2012 07:04 PM (LCRYB)

134 They call cigarettes "fags."
Posted by: Jane D'oh at November 15, 2012 07:02 PM (UOM4

And they call homosexuals "the 99 percent".

Posted by: somebody else, not me at November 15, 2012 07:04 PM (nZvGM)

135 If I had a couple of garbage cans, I would just kick the shit out of them about now. Heh. It ain't bad being Mickey ... think I'll go out and yell at a passing motorist.

Posted by: and irresolute at November 15, 2012 07:05 PM (DBH1h)

136 @ 79 You're a sick, sick man. I LOL'd

Glad you enjoyed, but the truth is, long, long ago my wife used to buy me a subscription to Playboy every year and I bought her a subscription to Playgirl. Now this is a true story, not to be confused with fantasy. She'd look at her mag, I'd look at mine, then she'd pick up mine, then I'd read through hers and LOL at the pr0n in hers. Told her I could write this shit 10X better. She bet me I couldn't.

Thirty days later I'm looking at a check which would cover the finest seafood dinner you could imagine. So I signed off and they printed my 'true story' while I laughed myself silly. We go out to dinner and the waitress brings a couple of two pound lobsters stuffed with crabmeat to the table. Some joker across the room says as the waitress goes past, 'He's getting more tail tonight then I am."

So, in answer to the age-old question do people make those stories up, I think Sarah Palin could answer best... 'You betcha".

Posted by: Schrödinger's cat at November 15, 2012 07:05 PM (feFL6)

137 Women do this. They tend to start imitating Britspeak if they go to England.



Someone I knew dropped an "It's all sorted" on me and I was like,
"Stop it." For some reason it really bothered me. Like she had to earn
the right to say "it's all sorted" or "I'm knackered" and I didn't
think she'd earned her stripes.



I don't know why I get mad about this, but I do. Something deep inside me doesn't want people to do it.









Posted by: ace at November 15, 2012 06:56 PM (LCRYB)

Friends did an episode on this.....Amanda from Yonkers.
http://tinyurl.com/cgyotz9

Posted by: Tami at November 15, 2012 07:05 PM (X6akg)

138
The brits always say: BRILLANT!!!!!!

I hate that.

Posted by: Walkers! at November 15, 2012 07:05 PM (7l6VK)

139 129 Prescient,

Chinese friend of mine with two masters degrees in engineering says that English is the most complex thing he ever tackled and American English makes British English look like a rehearsal.

Ah Weichang Wang I pray you're well in Beijing buddy.

Posted by: sven10077 at November 15, 2012 07:06 PM (LRFds)

140 "138
The brits always say: BRILLANT!!!!!!

I hate that.

Posted by: Walkers! at November 15, 2012 07:05 PM (7l6VK) "

It's a good word.

Posted by: Mirror-Universe Mitt Romney at November 15, 2012 07:06 PM (hhVWg)

141 Ace, you want to respond properly to a girl posing an english accent: tell her that her teeth are too good for that accent.

Posted by: Jean at November 15, 2012 07:06 PM (EBBBm)

142 11 One good thing about the country blowing up - EVERYTHING is funnier. Not in a haha way. More in a 'one step from the butterfly nets' kind of way.

I believe I'm going to have to steal that. It would make a great signature.

Posted by: rickl at November 15, 2012 07:06 PM (sdi6R)

143 I'm reading The Sun Also Rises again and I want to strangle Lady Ashley.

Oh, Jake, don't be sore. Do I want a drink? Rather. I say, are you tight? Jake, I love you. But now I must go. Oh Jake don't get sore with me, you know how I do hate it when you're sore. Give me a drink and a kiss, Jake. Yes I'd like you to kiss me. Rather. I say I think I'll marry this count. Don't be sore, Jake.

Posted by: ace at November 15, 2012 07:07 PM (LCRYB)

144
Are you queueing?
Posted by Prescient11

that would be a good AOSHQ tag;ine

Posted by: Cheri at November 15, 2012 07:07 PM (EAgmr)

145 126 MUMR,

Never go full Slow-Joe

Posted by: sven10077 at November 15, 2012 07:07 PM (LRFds)

146 10 Let's face it: Petraeus boned Paula Broadwell like a Thanksgiving Turkey because Mrs. P. is basically a 200 lbs hamster in a dress.

---------

Internet rumor has it that she loves ampersands. She thinks they're magically delicious.

Posted by: Citizen Anachronda at November 15, 2012 07:07 PM (NmR1a)

147 I lived in Singapore for 4 years....they use British slang with a Slinglish accent.


Impossible.

Posted by: Tami at November 15, 2012 07:07 PM (X6akg)

148 Two countries separated by a common language. I still remember her face that day and cannot help but bust out laughing every time I think about it.

My wife is thinking what the fuck is she saying, it's English except for that one word!

The Brit is looking like what in the world is wrong with you, I"m speaking English!!!

Posted by: Prescient11 at November 15, 2012 07:07 PM (tVTLU)

149 @130

Good advice, save for one small detail: she's my boss' daughter.

Posted by: Jolly Roger at November 15, 2012 07:08 PM (uVpIL)

150 English has no measure words, your Chinese friend is wrong.

Posted by: Jean at November 15, 2012 07:08 PM (EBBBm)

151 "139 129 Prescient,

Chinese friend of mine with two masters degrees in engineering says that English is the most complex thing he ever tackled and American English makes British English look like a rehearsal.

Ah Weichang Wang I pray you're well in Beijing buddy.

Posted by: sven10077 at November 15, 2012 07:06 PM (LRFds) "

English is pretty much the simplest Western language. Even Scandi is more complex.

Posted by: Mirror-Universe Mitt Romney at November 15, 2012 07:08 PM (hhVWg)

152 Aces! really is a lot like BRILLIANT!


Posted by: sven10077 at November 15, 2012 07:08 PM (LRFds)

153
From the "news bomb" linked to:

Today, of course, we need only look at the popular sitcom Modern Family for an indication of just how much the idea of family has changed. That one family, which includes divorcées, immigrants, adopted children, gay couples, and strong women leading their households manages to encapsulate all the ways in which the definition of family has shifted and yet, remarkably, their arrangement is not unbelievable, nor does it stray too far from “traditional” family values.

Years ago I read a similar analysis of The Munsters and similar shows like Milton the Monster.[/]

The argument was that it turned the traditionally scary, horrible monster character into an acceptable "other." They weren't bad, just "different." So those people around you that you normally find scary? They're really misunderstood and nothing to worry about. A little eccentric maybe and surely "different" from your normal expectations, but nothing to be scared of.

So that guy on the park bench who looks like the guy on the cover of Aqualung? Pay him no mind , he's just another Herman Munster. Nobody to worry about.

Thinking about it, maybe the writer had a point. I still think people with tons of tats, piercings and purple Mohawk haircuts are to be avoided if possible. But lots of people, even older ones, find all kinds of stuff that was taboo a few decades ago acceptable. Left wing television writers certainly have played a substantial role in this part of our cultural change.

Posted by: Ed Anger at November 15, 2012 07:08 PM (tOkJB)

154 I don't know why I get mad about this, but I do. Something deep inside me doesn't want people to do it.

Poofy tossers flipping out affectations....

I worked with a Brit at IBM for 3 years. Britspeak, when employed as a continuum rather than a discrete utterance can be very effective. There's more nuance than with the American fuckity, fuck, fuck fuck shit.

Posted by: @PurpAv at November 15, 2012 07:08 PM (Ll5gC)

155 I drive a MINI Copper, so I find myself using the terms 'boot' and 'bonnet' pretty often without realizing it.

I also think the term 'slap and tickle' is cute. I think I picked it up from an episode of 'Coupling'.

Posted by: Lurker who has recently stopped lurking at November 15, 2012 07:09 PM (xfWVe)

156 In the barrel for me!

Posted by: Ed Anger at November 15, 2012 07:09 PM (tOkJB)

157 Except Icelandic, but that's not really a Western language. In fact, now that I think about it, that pretty much goes for Scandi in general.

Posted by: Mirror-Universe Mitt Romney at November 15, 2012 07:09 PM (hhVWg)

158 151 MUMR,

He didn't speak german...that said I think our regional dialects while still ostensibly speaking to one another are what had him in awe...he learned English in Hong Kong then London....

poor guy was really confused after spending time at harvard then coming to Ohio....

He said Ohio had a lot of subtle sarcasm.

Posted by: sven10077 at November 15, 2012 07:09 PM (LRFds)

159 144:

Absolutely. It's amazing how much they use that word. Here's a trivia piece that I dropped on some Virgin Atlantic stewardesses.

While English and Americans have different words for things, we actually EXPAND the language.

For instance, they call an elevator a "lift". We use the word "lift" for many different, other purposes. So we still have the word.

But the English never use the word "elevator" for anything.

Thus, the US wins again!!

Posted by: Prescient11 at November 15, 2012 07:10 PM (tVTLU)

160 I do appreciate the queuing in Britain. No shoving or show of impatience.

And the people on the escalators on the London tubes just automatically stand to one side to allow those in a hurry to pass.

Contrast this behavior with what my son and I witnessed in Beaufort, SC after picking up a uniform on Parris Island.

We're on a sidewalk heading for a restaurant, and there are six fat women part of a tour group walking three abreast. Taking up the entire damned sidewalk.

We had to walk into the street to pass them. My son: "Looks like we ran into a covey of SMOPs" (Slow Moving Oblivious People).

Posted by: Jane D'oh at November 15, 2012 07:10 PM (UOM48)

161 157 MUMR,

Finnish has more in common with Korean than most Latin languages IIRC.

Posted by: sven10077 at November 15, 2012 07:10 PM (LRFds)

162 Well thanks sven, that cleared that one right the hell up for me.

Posted by: In Cognito at November 15, 2012 07:10 PM (GX2fm)

163 Nackers are testicles. Being nackered is properly tired from having sex, but is also just being tired.

Posted by: Truman North, last of the famous international playboys at November 15, 2012 07:10 PM (I2LwF)

164 Sod off, swampie!

Posted by: andycanuck at November 15, 2012 07:11 PM (nkiQM)

165 53

If you think breakfasts in Britain are bad, you should travel in China and experience a "Chinese breakfast".

Weirder than can be possibly imagined unless you have.

Posted by: Reader C.J. Burch writes..... at November 15, 2012 06:39 PM (RFeQD)

Most China hotel breakfast buffets are modeled after the British style, thus the tray of wet, snotty scrambled eggs and undercooked (!!!) bacon... It's criminal.

Posted by: DTShangers at November 15, 2012 07:11 PM (p9U52)

166 The brits always say: BRILLANT!!!!!!



I hate that.




I do think it's brilliant that Matthew Lewis aka the BAMF himself Mr. Neville Longbottom grew up to be James Bond - http://bit.ly/KzXg0J

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD. Our only hope. Literally. at November 15, 2012 07:11 PM (Gk3SS)

167 "161 157 MUMR,

Finnish has more in common with Korean than most Latin languages IIRC.

Posted by: sven10077 at November 15, 2012 07:10 PM (LRFds) "

Well, Finnish is definitely not a Western language. The same would go for Estonian, Hungarian, and Basque.

Posted by: Mirror-Universe Mitt Romney at November 15, 2012 07:12 PM (hhVWg)

168 says that English is the most complex thing he ever tackled

The reason is English is too arbitrary and ad hoc. Rules are not iron clad, there are exceptions, exceptions to the exceptions, and the spelling is quite insane.

Posted by: @PurpAv at November 15, 2012 07:12 PM (Ll5gC)

169 For instance, they call an elevator a "lift". We use the word "lift" for
many different, other purposes. So we still have the word.

=======


First time I got into an elevator in Singapore, I looked up at the sign of the manufacturer......"Schnidler's Lifts"......it was all I could do to not burst out laughing.


Posted by: Tami at November 15, 2012 07:13 PM (X6akg)

170 "168 says that English is the most complex thing he ever tackled

The reason is English is too arbitrary and ad hoc. Rules are not iron clad, there are exceptions, exceptions to the exceptions, and the spelling is quite insane.

Posted by: @PurpAv at November 15, 2012 07:12 PM (Ll5gC) "

The spelling is fine. It's just that most people are bad at it.

Posted by: Mirror-Universe Mitt Romney at November 15, 2012 07:14 PM (hhVWg)

171 162 In Cognito,

um we aim to please?

Thinking back on him he adopted the name "Richard" he had dreams of selling simmons mattresses....


Posted by: sven10077 at November 15, 2012 07:14 PM (LRFds)

172 http://tinyurl.com/cb97sy9

Photo of the riverboat.

Posted by: LC LaWedgie at November 15, 2012 07:15 PM (rzTDZ)

173 It's not the britishisms themselves I dislike, it's the pretentiousness and false airs one puts on in a lame attempt to look intelligent/cultured.

Yeah, you watched the BBC one night. Congrats. Oops I mean cheers.

Posted by: Jolly Roger at November 15, 2012 07:15 PM (uVpIL)

174 McScribbler, since you have such strong opinions on
blogging, why don't you do the world a favor and show us what a real
blog should look like?





Posted by: ace at November 15, 2012 07:04 PM


In virtually every way, I would deliver an inferior product to yours, Ace. I freely admit that.

Yes, your "relationship" (whatever it is) with Poppin' Fresh bugs the hell out of me. I don't like seeing a guy with Big Brass Ones wasting time with someone who has all the courage and steadfastness of a Slinky toy.

Posted by: MrScribbler, banned at TepidAir at November 15, 2012 07:16 PM (yKUrR)

175 Hilarious Tami.

Time to go FULL RETARD!!!!!!!!

MARCO RUBIO-TOM COTTON 2016!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This is a great blog, glad to have found it. It's helped me get through the fucking disaster of an election. Night retards.

Posted by: Prescient11 at November 15, 2012 07:16 PM (tVTLU)

176 ah yes the Fapping thing....sorry in Cognito my midheimer's moment for the evening....

yeah I think the first time i saw it someone socked Freddy Kreuger looking at Helen Thomas with "fap fap fap"

Posted by: sven10077 at November 15, 2012 07:16 PM (LRFds)

177 173 Jolly Roger,

I also love that most Americans think they are all either artists or sociopaths....

Latiitude folks they are us mostly or rather were.

Posted by: sven10077 at November 15, 2012 07:18 PM (LRFds)

178 At first I thought you meant Colonial Williamsburg and was confused because guys in marching band uniforms with brass buttons
is old.

Posted by: SarahW at November 15, 2012 07:18 PM (LYwCh)

179
"Americans Relish Hot Dog Necks"

Remember when you used to have to be a 400lb gooma to sport a "hot dog neck"?

Not anymore!

American's have gone wild over the those thick rolls of fat hanging off the back of the necks of People of Mass.

Forget face lifts and boob jobs. The chicest rend-setters are now paying up to $55,000 to have plastic surgeons install silicone hot dogs in the back of their necks....


Posted by: naturalfake is trendy at November 15, 2012 07:20 PM (54vf8)

180 it's the pretentiousness and false airs one puts on in a lame attempt to look intelligent/cultured.

I always found a vest pocket full of roofies to be more effective than putting on airs.

Posted by: Ted Kennedy at November 15, 2012 07:20 PM (Ll5gC)

181 180 Ted Kennedy

Add in a nice round of "have you ever been in a sandwich?"

//Chris Dodd

Posted by: sven10077 at November 15, 2012 07:21 PM (LRFds)

182 Do a GIS for Williamsburg drum and fife ..see? All.Over. Town.

Posted by: SarahW at November 15, 2012 07:21 PM (LYwCh)

183 The reason is English is too arbitrary and ad hoc. Rules are not iron
clad, there are exceptions, exceptions to the exceptions, and the
spelling is quite insane.


The most liberating thing about English is that there are no rules. Once a foreign speaker gets that, they're in good shape.

Talk like Yoda sometimes, but so do the rest of us.

Posted by: Meiczyslaw at November 15, 2012 07:21 PM (4+LTj)

184 You know, maybe since you live in Williamsburg, the guys dressed up in Sargean Pepper's outfits were like, historical re-enactors, or something. So maybe not a trend.

Posted by: theforgetler at November 15, 2012 07:21 PM (25DM7)

185 I miss Bat Boy.

Posted by: toby928© for TB at November 15, 2012 07:23 PM (QupBk)

186 Rules are not iron clad, there are exceptions, exceptions to the exceptions, and the spelling is quite insane.
Me no sabby.

Posted by: ace's asian coal and hamster tender at November 15, 2012 07:24 PM (nkiQM)

187 The reason is English is too arbitrary and ad hoc. Rules are not iron clad, there are exceptions, exceptions to the exceptions, and the spelling is quite insane.
Posted by: @PurpAv at November 15, 2012 07:12 PM (Ll5gC)


-----------------------------------------


Indeed. Quite so.

Posted by: Soona at November 15, 2012 07:25 PM (0Y8Gz)

188 I miss Bat Boy.

Posted by: toby928© for TB at November 15, 2012 07:23 PM


Ditto.

I wonder how his relationship with one of the Bush daughters (as reported in the Weekly World News panned out?

Posted by: MrScribbler, banned at TepidAir at November 15, 2012 07:26 PM (yKUrR)

189 To #24, Jane D'oh

Speaking of Little Five.... If you're nearby, can you Fedex me a Vortex Burger, w Sweet Potato fries?

Posted by: theforgetler at November 15, 2012 07:26 PM (25DM7)

190 My next-door neighbors are 1/2 Brit. He's friends with Prince Charles (polo). She looks like something a polo player would ride.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at November 15, 2012 07:27 PM (UOM48)

191 189
To #24, Jane D'oh


Speaking of Little Five.... If you're nearby, can you Fedex me a Vortex Burger, w Sweet Potato fries?


Posted by: theforgetler at November 15, 2012 07:26 PM (25DM7



Honey, I'm down in Savannah.

Were you ever familiar with the Southern Theater Conspiracy? I was a member of that crew.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at November 15, 2012 07:28 PM (UOM48)

192 190 Jane D'oh,

God was not kind to the Windsor gene pool that day he has glider ears and is either blind or touched, bless his heart.

Posted by: sven10077 at November 15, 2012 07:29 PM (LRFds)

193 You live next door to Sarah Jessica Parker, Jane?

Posted by: andycanuck at November 15, 2012 07:29 PM (nkiQM)

194 How does a parade get crashed by a train? Crazy sad.

http://tinyurl.com/c3xt9h7 (San Angelo Std-Times)

Four fatalities have been reported and 16 people have been
transported to Midland Memorial Hospital, according to the Midland Star
Telegram, quoting Chief of Police Price Robinson.


The crash occurred during a parade and the injured were taken to a
hospital, a Midland County Sheriff dispatcher confirmed Thursday.


She could not confirm how many people were injured. A Hunt for Heroes parade was under way Thursday afternoon.


Hunt for Heroes president and founder Terry Johnson said there have been two confirmed fatalities, the Telegram reported.

Posted by: LC LaWedgie at November 15, 2012 07:30 PM (rzTDZ)

195 BTW, I couldn't recall Parker's name so I Googled "horse face" and her photo was the fourth one sandwiched between four real horse photos in the thumbnails.

Posted by: andycanuck at November 15, 2012 07:31 PM (nkiQM)

196 193 AndyCanuck,

Hey-o!

Hi yo SARAH J away!

Posted by: sven10077 at November 15, 2012 07:36 PM (LRFds)

197 194 LCLaWedgie,

Yeah an electorate that smart sorta explains last week.

Posted by: sven10077 at November 15, 2012 07:36 PM (LRFds)

198
103I really like hearing british slang but I hate hearing Americans say it.

I don't know why I get mad about this, but I do. Something deep inside me doesn't want people to do it. Ace
Yes, we do hate it when people put on airs. People will even smoke to appear sophisticated. But what REALLY grates on me is when people use shorten a word to appear familiar or hip. A wine snob will never say "cabernet" when "cab" will do. I tense when somebody says "prob" instead of "problem." Really, two syllables was too much to say?

Posted by: just a simple mofo at November 15, 2012 07:39 PM (oaU57)

199 I think my hormones are out of whack. Maybe I can find a magazine to explain the problem.

Posted by: Ronster at November 15, 2012 07:47 PM (nQMHQ)

200
some words in the English language get highjacked

Posted by: Society for Restoring the Word Gay at November 15, 2012 07:48 PM (AW9md)

201 "...what Modern Family doesn’t have is anybody who looks anything like a mainstream Republican"

Wait, so you can tell how someone thinks based solely on their looks?

Yeah, every time I do that I get called bigoted or racist. Whys is it ok when you do the exact same thing?

Oh, I forgot, you're a liberal. Therefore your bigotry is ok and not a problem.

Man I've got to try being a liberal one of these days; I'd love my bigotry, racism and sexism to be socially acceptable.

Posted by: gekkobear at November 15, 2012 07:49 PM (ujdj9)

202 Bristols, cobblers, John Thomas, wanker, gingers,

Posted by: TheQuietMan at November 15, 2012 07:49 PM (PmlnN)

203 202 TQM,

get phonix bud...

wan-kah

Posted by: sven10077 at November 15, 2012 07:51 PM (LRFds)

204 My brother is actually close enough to "the NYT's Alex Williams" to have attended his wedding. If I ever get a chance, I have to ask him about this article. I have a feeling it won't take too many drinks to get to the truth.

Posted by: Oschisms at November 15, 2012 07:53 PM (pfVS8)

205 Here's the thing about "edgy" shows like All in the Family, Archie was the big dumb bigot. Archie fought in WWII, worked, kept a roof over their heads, clothes on their back and food in their bellies. Meathead was so just so right about everything was a useless lazy layabout who contributed nothing to the family but a lot of mouth and grief. He lived in Archie's home and ate his food and told him he was wrong all day. Unfortunately that's become our country today

Posted by: TheQuietMan at November 15, 2012 07:57 PM (PmlnN)

206 205 TQM,

so what if Archie one day said "Edith grab your shit fuck that asshole we're going to Texas!"???

I'm maybe willing to try.

Posted by: sven10077 at November 15, 2012 07:59 PM (LRFds)

207 Word association game:

"Scouser"
"Boris Johnson"
"Mark Steyn"

Outraged Liverpudlians wanted Boris' thatch-topped head on a pike.

Posted by: mrp at November 15, 2012 08:01 PM (HjPtV)

208 "Sod off, swampie!"

A classic.

Posted by: mrp at November 15, 2012 08:05 PM (HjPtV)

209 191 Jane D'oh

No wasn't familiar with them, Wish I had been; I enjoy theatrics.

Did you see the following on what southern women say? I watched and never realized it wasn't a documentary.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hUFL2GT1-2g


Posted by: theforgetler at November 15, 2012 08:12 PM (25DM7)

210 Britains national dish is curry

Posted by: kevinw at November 15, 2012 08:13 PM (wHprZ)

211 so what if Archie one day said "Edith grab your shit fuck that asshole we're going to Texas!"???

I'm maybe willing to try.


Posted by: sven10077 at November 15, 2012 07:59 PM (LRFds)


Archie should have said, Look Meathead the day you pay for anything in this house then you can open your big mouth. Until then STFU.

Posted by: TheQuietMan at November 15, 2012 08:14 PM (PmlnN)

212 211 TQM,

Playing Archie Bunker in the reimagining??

William H Macy in crazy mode.

Posted by: sven10077 at November 15, 2012 08:28 PM (LRFds)

213 Sod off, swampy!

Posted by: Stonking-trot-on-polished-tarmac! at November 15, 2012 08:32 PM (4P4ww)

214 Blimey! Where's the fookin' crabcakes, you c*nt?

Posted by: David Frumsy at November 15, 2012 08:40 PM (mqdAz)

215 Tossers!

Posted by: Bildo at November 15, 2012 08:48 PM (eToum)

216 #103 Ace, my sister did this when we went to England last summer. Aside from other things which got on my nerves (like having to read every single label in every single museum exhibit) this was the most embarrassing.

To compensate I started talking like my redneck dad. The bonus to this was that recognizing me as a real, for sure, American, Brits started griping to me about Muslims ("made London a sewer") and mocking all of the rules and regulations. I really think the Brits are quite unhappy with how things have turned out, but they don't know how to escape it.

Posted by: Miss Marple at November 15, 2012 08:59 PM (GoIUi)

217 I must pass this along to a journalist friend. I hear constantly what a rote and superficial bore trend pieces are. I think most authors of them hate them as much as you. In newspapers, such stories are routinely assigned and the poor reporter has to make up a trend and report it. And not uncommonly, they are met with skeptical comments by readers, but the overworked/underpaid journalist striving to write that one story they'll be proud of just can't care.

Posted by: Crispian at November 15, 2012 09:04 PM (+qU9V)

218 I know this is late on the thread, but I highly recommend Joe Queenan's "Queen and Country", which is about his travels in England- hilarious!

Posted by: museisluse at November 15, 2012 09:10 PM (SsWgR)

219 Nackers are testicles. Being nackered is properly tired

Nah. This is what we get for taking German's initial "K" but not sounding it.
A "knacker" was the guy who took your dead horse away, and rendered it into saleable elements. When you scrap a car, it "goes to the knacker's yard."

When you're knackered, you're dead and slaughtered.

Posted by: comatus at November 15, 2012 09:11 PM (qaVK+)

220 <<In another, he attempted to Live a Day as Mickey Rourke, dressing as
Mickey Rourke, drinking hard like Mickey Rourke, trying to have casual
sex like Mickey Rourke, chainsmoking like Mickey Rourke, and speaking
almost entirely in movie lines...>>

Also in that article, Queenan talks about how he tried to break the world record for saying "motherfucker" as many times as possible in a 24 hr period...just like Mickey Rourke.

Posted by: Sgt. York at November 15, 2012 09:24 PM (yk8/j)

221 Playing Archie Bunker in the reimagining??

William H Macy in crazy mode.


Posted by: sven10077 at November 15, 2012 08:28 PM (LRFds)

I would have like to have seen John Wayne walk on the set pull off Rob Reiner's toup and shove it down his throat

Posted by: TheQuietMan at November 15, 2012 09:33 PM (PmlnN)

222 you don't realize how first and edgy "All In The Family" was Ace?... not only haven't you lived through it, either they haven't written books about what it was and meant or you haven't read them... that show broke sooo many barriers that had never been broken before--

Posted by: tomc at November 15, 2012 09:58 PM (avEuh)

223 English breakfasts? I love English breakfasts. What not to like; Eggs over easy, bacon (OK Canadian bacon), sausage, blood pudding, mufffins, beans for goodness sakes, coffee (white if you like) and cake on the sideboard. Mmmmm.

Posted by: Javems at November 15, 2012 10:03 PM (c8xU9)

224 Some things never change.
Archie Bunker on democrats: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7fqCS7Y_kME

Posted by: mrt721 at November 15, 2012 10:22 PM (aTlba)

225 Having a little problem living the purposeless life now the election's done and done, Ace?

Neat Thing One about visiting AoSHQ regular like I do: I get to see what was viable enough to get onto Drudge, but not enough to be sustained ex in vitro.

Neat Thing Two: Seeing how utterly and completely you and morons are never, ever going to change, no matter the signs. My advice? Early investment in nursing home spots: you ain't seein' the inside of the White Hissy for the remainder of your natural lives.

Posted by: Rex the Wonder God at November 16, 2012 01:43 AM (21TJo)

226
Right ho, Ace!

Here's a bona fide trend that all the "gotta dash off some tripe to pay the rent" types are missing: fewer and fewer people are reading the "just going through the motions" magazines for which they write.

So, put that in your pipes and smoke it...

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars at November 16, 2012 08:03 AM (53Nsb)






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