Important Information: James Bond Isn't Gay

By the way, if you're Prime member, all of the James Bond books are free to borrow right now.

Which isn't super-awesome. I don't know how good they actually are. I just read The Man With The Golden Gun for the first time. It was Ian Fleming's last, and I think it was published posthhumously, before he got done editing it. I'm pretty sure the book contains four pages of a scene, and then four rewritten pages of the same scene, with just minor differences. It was kind of weird to read the same basic thing twice.

Plus, it has nothing. No plot. It begins in a bang-up way. Bond, following the events of You Only Live Twice, has been missing for a year, presumed dead. He shows up one day in London saying it's crucial he meets with M; the Service suspects he's been turned, or brainwashed, and might be a Russian mole. I won't say if he is or not, because this is the only point of interest in the whole (very short, but very padded) book.

(I think the new Bond movie cribs this whole opening scenario.)

Anyway, after a very interesting beginning, he's sent down to Jamaica (again) on a completely unrelated mission, just to see if he's up to snuff. All he has to do is kill Scaramanga. For some reason he insinuates himself into Scaramanga's trust (instead of just blowing his brains out, which he has several chances to do) and hangs out at Scaramanga's half-finished casino-hotel for the whole book, meeting Scaramanga's investors in the property. Eavesdropping and stuff. And passing notes to Felix Leiter. And hearing about plans for a legitimate hotel-casino. Super-exciting stuff like that.

But none of the eavesdropping is important, because that's not his mission. He just has to plug the guy. No one asked him to eavesdrop, and he doesn't learn anything important (except maybe "M's right, I should plug this guy").

Let me just say the gripping conclusion takes place on a Disney-like miniature train. A miniature train shoot-out.

I guess that's where they got the idea for the movie version Funhouse Shootout. But a Funhouse Shootout is several degrees more interesting than a miniature train shootout. A Funhouse Shootout is even less silly than a miniature train shootout.

The story never revisits that very interesting set-up. Nope, Scaramanga was not involved in any of the opening stuff, so don't expect a revelation about that. Bond does not later discover that his current target turns out, coincidentally, to have been the guy who caused him such problems at the beginning of the book. The whole beginning of the book is just quickly dispensed with in a few pages, as if Fleming decided that maybe the whole "Is Bond a brainwashed mole?" story wasn't that interesting. (If so, he was wrong-- it was. Kind of the most compelling and unexpected premise I've ever seen in a Bond book, or movie.)

This really isn't a novel. It's a padded-out short story about a very simple mission, merely an assassination with no real investigation or espionage required, no twists, no turns. Just hangin' out at an unfinished hotel-casino. And shooting a guy. Who's kind of boring and not nearly as awesome as Christopher Lee.

Anyway, what the hell was I talking about? Oh right, the studio has sent Daniel Craig to insist that Bond isn't gay even though I hear they kind of insinuate he's had gay relationships in the new movie.

The scene in question sees a flirtatious Raoul caress Bond's legs and chest as the spy sits tied up in a chair, with 007 ending the scene by asking his foe: 'What makes you think this is my first time?'

However, asked if he could ever imagine a gay James Bond, Craig replied: 'No'.

Asked to explain why not, the 44-year-old actor told E! Online: 'Because he's not gay. And I don't think Javier's character is either - I think he'd f**k anything.'

But Craig's co-star Naomie Harris, who plays Bond girl Eve in the new movie, is more open to the idea of a homosexual Bond.

She said: 'I think everything is open. Everything is open. Who knows?!'

The screenwriter is also now saying Bond's not gay, but also says there's been a lot of "homoerotic subtext," as with Scaramanga (hey, I just mentioned him!) or Goldfinger.

Um... I think we've got a different idea of what "erotic" is.

Speaking of Scaramanga: "Come, come Mr. Bond" in the real movie, and then the awesome scene from The Trip where they work on their Scaramanga/Roger Moore impressions.

Later they do a call-back to this:


Posted by: Ace at 05:12 PM



Comments

1 Anyway, what the hell was I talking about?

______

LOL!

Oh gawd what a day.

Posted by: tasker at November 09, 2012 05:14 PM (r2PLg)

2 Two Words- Man Stopper.

Posted by: garrett at November 09, 2012 05:15 PM (1xlN5)

3 I don't want to go back and read through all the comments for the past several threads. Anyone mention John E.'s article about ORCA being mentioned and linked to at Computerworld? My husband, who never reads here, noticed it.

Posted by: Barb the Evil Genius at November 09, 2012 05:15 PM (uiI1p)

4 Sodom and Gommorah we are.

Posted by: Nate at November 09, 2012 05:15 PM (i3OIF)

5 You know--what's his nuts--in a blonde wig--the guy married to Penolope Cruz...

that's just scary.

Posted by: tasker at November 09, 2012 05:16 PM (r2PLg)

6 >>It was kind of weird to read the same basic thing twice.

Then stop double posting.

Posted by: garrett at November 09, 2012 05:17 PM (1xlN5)

7

I liked The Trip.


I decided to start watching Going Postal a few minutes ago. hehe

Weird stuff.

"A con artist is conned into taking the job as Postmaster General in the Ankh-Morpork Post Office."

He has a choice, go to hell, or work to fix an old out of operation post office. lol

choices

Posted by: sunshine & the beach at November 09, 2012 05:17 PM (LpQbZ)

8 Javier Bardem.


Meets Bridget Bardot's wig--and mounts it...

Posted by: tasker at November 09, 2012 05:17 PM (r2PLg)

9 But, who's the pitcher?

Posted by: Not and Artist at November 09, 2012 05:18 PM (uRumV)

10 So he's going to do something weird with Javier--isn't he?

Posted by: tasker at November 09, 2012 05:18 PM (r2PLg)

11 I don't want to go back and read through all the comments for the past
several threads. Anyone mention John E.'s article about ORCA being
mentioned and linked to at Computerworld? My husband, who never reads
here, noticed it.


At this point it would be easier to count the number of websites that haven't linked to it.

Drudge didn't link it directly, but did link to Politico which did.

Posted by: Hollowpoint at November 09, 2012 05:19 PM (SY2Kh)

12 I thought the villain in this one was Cocky Galore.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at November 09, 2012 05:19 PM (QKKT0)

13 Well, every review I've read on Skyfall has been good. Still, gotta wait a while for it to be in Redbox.

Posted by: logprof at November 09, 2012 05:19 PM (jKE+Z)

14 It's going to be with Javier in the powder room--with a costume on.

Posted by: tasker at November 09, 2012 05:19 PM (r2PLg)

15 Smart. Military.

Posted by: Truman North at November 09, 2012 05:20 PM (YEdnb)

16
No mention of a prosthetic third nipple?

Weakstick.

Posted by: Jaws at November 09, 2012 05:20 PM (4I3Uo)

17 Anything to keep our minds off how fucked we are.

Ace's commenter got mentioned in an Insty post about how fucking bad ORCA was.

I heard there is a guy here that posts named Allen something, does he have a blog?

That is all, carry on.

Posted by: Billy Bob, pseudo intellectual at November 09, 2012 05:20 PM (wR+pz)

18 <<<Anyone mention John E.'s article about ORCA being mentioned and linked
to at Computerworld? My husband, who never reads here, noticed it.

I kinda did below when I mentioned I hit Drudge, hit the link, then saw a link back to AoS. It felt strange, like the sensation of the duct tape being ripped off unshorn genitalia. Not that I know anything about that.

Posted by: Schrödinger's cat at November 09, 2012 05:21 PM (feFL6)

19 Which isn't super-awesome. I don't know how good they actually are..


I thought the early ones were good but I was in the 7th grade and they were really racy for back then.


Start with From Russia With Love and read them in publishing order.

Posted by: Vic at November 09, 2012 05:21 PM (YdQQY)

20 Everyone on TV is talking about how to "avoid the physical clit". I thought we weren't supposed to avoid the clit. I'm confused.

Posted by: Not and Artist at November 09, 2012 05:21 PM (uRumV)

21 Hmm, The Trip looks like a fun movie based on those clips.

Or were those the best parts?

Posted by: Waterhouse at November 09, 2012 05:22 PM (XMaKL)

22 Naomie Harris? Time for a bing image search.

Posted by: dantesed at November 09, 2012 05:22 PM (gxdwW)

23 Thanks, Hollowpoint and Schrodinger's cat. I've been too busy with actual work today to roam around the internets much.

Posted by: Barb the Evil Genius at November 09, 2012 05:22 PM (uiI1p)

24 20
Everyone on TV is talking about how to "avoid the physical clit". I thought we weren't supposed to avoid the clit. I'm confused.


You talking about the little man in the boat that Sandra Fluke rubs?

Posted by: Billy Bob, pseudo intellectual at November 09, 2012 05:22 PM (wR+pz)

25 Archer has better story lines.

Who is the real father of the wee baby Seamus?

Posted by: wooga at November 09, 2012 05:23 PM (vjyZP)

26 /The better question was Gus Fring gay? I say yes. And his two henchmen - the mexican guy who got his throat slit and the black guy who was blown up and his best pal who was the original chemist who leaked blood and brain into the pool -- all gay.

Posted by: Anonymous at November 09, 2012 05:23 PM (C4dFv)

27 No Mr. Capitalism. I expect you to die.

Posted by: Baurick Goldfinger at November 09, 2012 05:23 PM (QKKT0)

28

Goldfinger was a quivering mass of homo-magnet manhood!

Posted by: imp at November 09, 2012 05:23 PM (UaxA0)

29 Bond even *insinuated* to be gay?

Burn. It. Down.

Posted by: hannitys_hybrid at November 09, 2012 05:23 PM (zpqa2)

30 >>>No mention of a prosthetic third nipple?

scaramanga does have a third nipple in the book, but it's just mentioned in his dossier.

Fleming always liked to give his villains some sexual kink or some disturbed sexual thing, whether it's Red Grant's psychopathy/sexual murder compulsion, or Auric Goldfinger's ego-driven but asexual need for hot female companions, or Blofeld's strict asexuality (all sex drive channeled into evil), or Went and Kidd's homosexuality, or Scaramanga's supposed sexual prowess due to the mark of the third nipple.

Posted by: ace at November 09, 2012 05:24 PM (LCRYB)

31 Um, OT -- just saw this in the sidebar!

Any citizen journalists on our side near Cleveland? That 100% vote
going to BO needs to be investigated. If I were nearby I'd get my video
camera and go door to door, starting with the people who donated to
Romney.

Posted by: TD, one of the makers not one of the takers at November 09, 2012 05:24 PM (DQMcq)

32 12
I thought the villain in this one was Cocky Galore.


Quadrophallis

Posted by: wooga at November 09, 2012 05:24 PM (vjyZP)

33 Anyway, what the hell was I talking about? Oh right, the studio has sent Daniel Craig to insist that Bond isn't gay even though I hear they kind of insinuate he's had gay relationships in the new movie.



That is why Whorrywood makes such shit anymore and I haven't bought a movie that was at least 25 years old in the past 5 years.

Posted by: Vic at November 09, 2012 05:24 PM (YdQQY)

34 So, what about this sex scene with Judi Dench?

Posted by: Walkers! at November 09, 2012 05:24 PM (C4dFv)

35 James Bond was British. Like there's a borking difference.

Posted by: The Free Shit Mafia at November 09, 2012 05:24 PM (NIZHJ)

36 Come, come, Mr. Petraeus. We can't blackmail you after we terminate you with extreme prejudice.

Now let's go over this again: The attack was a spontaneous riot over an internet film.

Posted by: Fritz at November 09, 2012 05:25 PM (0yCoM)

37 Holy constructed-curiosity- of-constructs, Batman!

Posted by: derit at November 09, 2012 05:25 PM (I88Jc)

38 Ghey this, ghey that, ghey this, ghey that, ghey that, ghey this, ghey that, ghey that, ghey this, ghey that, ghey that, ghey this, ghey that, ghey that, ghey this, ghey that.....

Mooommmmyyyy!!!! Please make them stop. Puuuullleeaaasssee!!! ~weeping, sniffling, rocking to and fro'~

Posted by: eureka! at November 09, 2012 05:25 PM (UL+ny)

39 5
You know--what's his nuts--in a blonde wig--the guy married to Penolope Cruz...


You mean Monica Cruz' retarded, horse faced older sister?

Posted by: wooga at November 09, 2012 05:26 PM (vjyZP)

40 Third nipples mean you are not a fully splitter twin.

Posted by: tasker at November 09, 2012 05:26 PM (r2PLg)

41 Because everything has to be gay now.

The republic is doomed to die.

Posted by: © Sponge at November 09, 2012 05:26 PM (UK9cE)

42 fully *splitted* twin.

Posted by: tasker at November 09, 2012 05:26 PM (r2PLg)

43
he was hostile to pussy galore

Posted by: Sandra Fluke at November 09, 2012 05:26 PM (AW9md)

44 >>>Or were those the best parts?

It's a good movie. As for "are those the best parts" -- they're among my favorites but there's a lot of impressions, most of which are very, very funny, and the actual story of it, while a bit loosey-goosey and low-key, is interesting.

It's solid.

It's a very low-key movie. They try to make you think it's just a Reality Show, following two celebrities around (Steve Coogan and the other guy, a famous british impressionist, play "Themselves").

It's kind of a neat thing, a Reality Show that isn't really a Reality Show.

I think it's good. I've recommended it before.

Good scenery. the premise is they're doing a Celebrity Tour of the North's (north of england) best restaurants, so there's some mild food porn too.

Posted by: ace at November 09, 2012 05:26 PM (LCRYB)

45 I cast a homodicus spell on Bond.

Posted by: Dumbledore at November 09, 2012 05:27 PM (jKE+Z)

46

It wouldn't be the first time.


Well, if you've seen Casino Royale (with CHEESE, motherfucker), you know that Bond went to boarding school, and we all know about English boarding schools . . .

That's right. Really bad ties.


and homosex.

Posted by: imp at November 09, 2012 05:27 PM (UaxA0)

47 Totally gay.

Posted by: Alota Wang at November 09, 2012 05:27 PM (b+jI9)

48 ..but no lions humping.

What's that about?

Posted by: tasker at November 09, 2012 05:27 PM (r2PLg)

49 That is why Whorrywood makes such shit anymore and I haven't bought a movie that was at least 25 years old in the past 5 years.

I wasn't aware that you finally made peace with your disgust regarding those darned newfangled "talkies".

Posted by: Hollowpoint at November 09, 2012 05:27 PM (SY2Kh)

50 It's funny to compare Sean Connery -- who was some sort of 'Mr. Britain' body builder type with hairy chest-- to the latest shaved chest creation.

But this is why we lose elections and can't have nice things.

Posted by: Schrödinger's cat at November 09, 2012 05:28 PM (feFL6)

51 James BOnd isn't Gay But Obama is a mother fucking cocksucker if there ever was one.

Posted by: jeremiah God Damn Barack Obama the Mother Fucking SCoaMF wright at November 09, 2012 05:28 PM (ovpNn)

52 A movie review in under 10,000 pages? What else is coming this week?

Posted by: The Free Shit Mafia at November 09, 2012 05:28 PM (NIZHJ)

53 If you want spy books and dieing to see them on the screen Vince Flynn is the best right now.


But like the Sword of Truth stuff, Hollywood will just screw it up.

Posted by: Vic at November 09, 2012 05:28 PM (YdQQY)

54 45 I cast a homodicus spell on Bond.

Posted by: Dumbledore at November 09, 2012 05:27 PM (jKE+Z)

With your... wand, professor?

Posted by: KG at November 09, 2012 05:28 PM (p7BzH)

55 A third nipple means you're psychic. And you receive special messages from outerspace. It acts like an antenna.

Posted by: Walkers! at November 09, 2012 05:28 PM (C4dFv)

56 Bond being gay....or not.....is the very least of our worries.

Posted by: kawfytawk at November 09, 2012 05:28 PM (JWLqy)

57 Shit...I was going to go see Skyfall but then I decided to with hold my art to punish the world.

Posted by: tasker at November 09, 2012 05:29 PM (r2PLg)

58 based on what I understand of the scene, Javier Bardem is acting all flirty while he tortures/threatens bond, and people are taking "Do you think this is my first time?" to mean "you think I haven't had gay sex before?"

But it does seem to me a less strained interpretation is "Dude, I've been tortured and threatened in 23 movies before this one. Buy a clue."

Posted by: ace at November 09, 2012 05:29 PM (LCRYB)

59 >>so there's some mild food porn too.

All good Food Porn has Giada's luscious melons in the background.

Posted by: garrett at November 09, 2012 05:29 PM (1xlN5)

60
Well, Daniel Craig looks real purdy in a blonde wig too...

http://youtu.be/TwNnbM-aX4A

Daniel Craig in drag...in case you haven't seen it.

Posted by: wheatie at November 09, 2012 05:29 PM (ICEh3)

61 Good scenery. the premise is they're doing a Celebrity Tour of the
North's (north of england) best restaurants, so there's some mild food
porn too.


So this time, instead of an overwrought trendy "parkour" scene, they have an overwrought, trendy "celebrity food show" scene? I suppose the next Bond will have a subplot involving bond bidding on the contents of a mysterious abandoned storage shed in rural Texas.

Posted by: wooga at November 09, 2012 05:29 PM (vjyZP)

62 damn i knew it

Posted by: octococky at November 09, 2012 05:29 PM (AW9md)

63 The last movie I bought was a DVD with Charlton "Out of my dead hands" Heston. It was one of his first with Betty Hutton about the circus.

Posted by: Vic at November 09, 2012 05:29 PM (YdQQY)

64 OT/

Just heard a classic Pat Caddell rant on the radio. He actually called Paul Ryan a "self-serving, little nerd", among other less than less than diplomatic observations.

Posted by: Serious Cat at November 09, 2012 05:30 PM (UypUQ)

65 Thunderball takes on new meaning

Posted by: TheQuietMan at November 09, 2012 05:30 PM (1Jaio)

66 Suck it, friend-o.

:::zzzzzzzip:::

Posted by: Empire of Jeff at November 09, 2012 05:30 PM (u6Ixe)

67 Newsflash: Bond movie's been out for a week...

Posted by: hannitys_hybrid at November 09, 2012 05:30 PM (zpqa2)

68 F*ck hollywood.

Posted by: Some Guy in Wisconsin at November 09, 2012 05:30 PM (tPHZQ)

69 58 based on what I understand of the scene, Javier Bardem is acting all flirty while he tortures/threatens bond, and people are taking "Do you think this is my first time?" to mean "you think I haven't had gay sex before?"

But it does seem to me a less strained interpretation is "Dude, I've been tortured and threatened in 23 movies before this one. Buy a clue."

Posted by: ace at November 09, 2012 05:29 PM (LCRYB)


_____________

So it's Bond--Bond--age with a dash of-

50 Shades of Grey.

Posted by: tasker at November 09, 2012 05:30 PM (r2PLg)

70 Bond's next "Bond Girl" = Honey Boo Boo's Mom

Posted by: wooga at November 09, 2012 05:31 PM (vjyZP)

71 @EmilyMiller If Patreaus is telling the truth, he is the first married man in the history of civilization to voluntarily admit to an affair.

-------------------------------


Ms. Miller has a point.

Posted by: Not and Artist at November 09, 2012 05:31 PM (uRumV)

72 TD, I'm on the west side of Cleveland. Unsure about what to do or where to start. Or whether it would even make a difference. No one reads my blog anyway.

Posted by: Barb the Evil Genius at November 09, 2012 05:31 PM (uiI1p)

73 67
Newsflash: Bond movie's been out for a week...


Stupid foreigner! It opens today in 'Merica!

Posted by: wooga at November 09, 2012 05:32 PM (vjyZP)

74 She was only sixteen years old!

Posted by: moviegique at November 09, 2012 05:32 PM (Cepxj)

75 Glad you confirmed Man With The Golden Gun was also probably the worst Bond book to go along with the worst Bond movie.

Posted by: Sebastian Melmoth at November 09, 2012 05:32 PM (Vdd8W)

76 Not the craw. The CRAW.

Posted by: The Craw at November 09, 2012 05:32 PM (QKKT0)

77 100% You would need exactly one Romney voter to prove it.

Posted by: The Free Shit Mafia at November 09, 2012 05:32 PM (NIZHJ)

78 'No Mr. Bond, I expect you to swallow.'

Posted by: Goldfinger at November 09, 2012 05:32 PM (1xlN5)

79 >>>She was only sixteen years old!

ONLY SIXTEEN YEARS OLD!

Posted by: ace at November 09, 2012 05:32 PM (LCRYB)

80 I always figured he fucked the little midget guy that Tatoo played because, let's be honest, if you get a chance to do a midget you take it.

Posted by: Gristle Encased Head at November 09, 2012 05:32 PM (+lsX1)

81

Bond's old Aston Martin is purchased by a bunch of tatted up southern guys who then proceed to argue about chopping the frame.

Posted by: imp at November 09, 2012 05:33 PM (UaxA0)

82 >>>Glad you confirmed Man With The Golden Gun was also probably the worst Bond book to go along with the worst Bond movie.

It was the only one I hadn't read, except for one more, which I hear is HORRRRRRIBLE -- "The Spy Who Loved Me."

But I guess I'll give that one a chance. It's free.

Posted by: ace at November 09, 2012 05:33 PM (LCRYB)

83 Golden Gun was bottom 4 or so in Bond movies. Sad because Christopher Lee was a decent actor, but was a bit stiff in the role of Scarmanga. I also hope whoever thought it was a good idea to bring back Sheriff Pepper never worked in Hollywood again. Add to that some really over the top gimmicks, and Goodnight being one of the hottest but most annoying Bond girls, and you get a bad bad movie. But, there's always The World is Not Enough and Moonraker as worse movies IMO.

Posted by: Doc at November 09, 2012 05:33 PM (817Ah)

84 What's next from HowlingWeird?

James Bond meets Barbarella?

If you want 50 Shades of Bond, go read the Ghost books by John Ringo.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at November 09, 2012 05:34 PM (xtS2H)

85 It's nice to see the morons are getting their humor back. Seriously, it wasn't that bad of loss -- I mean 50-48 FCOL. It sucks but when some nerd (like me) fucks up an election you really shouldn't take it out on yourselves.

But find that summabitch with 'HTML For Dummies' and shove that fucking book up his ass.

Posted by: Schrödinger's cat at November 09, 2012 05:34 PM (feFL6)

86 James Bond drives a Prius.

Posted by: The Free Shit Mafia at November 09, 2012 05:34 PM (NIZHJ)

87 67 Newsflash: Bond movie's been out for a week...

Posted by: hannitys_hybrid at November 09, 2012 05:30 PM (zpqa2)

--Not in North America, just everywhere else.

Posted by: Dumbledore at November 09, 2012 05:34 PM (jKE+Z)

88 60
Well, Daniel Craig looks real purdy in a blonde wig too...

http://youtu.be/TwNnbM-aX4A

Daniel Craig in drag...in case you haven't seen it.
Posted by: wheatie at November 09, 2012 05:29 PM (ICEh3)

_____________

Oh gawd...do I really want to burst my own bubble?

Daniel Craig--is one of the few actors I think is/are hot.

Wow--I'm having verb tense issues.


I'm off!

Posted by: tasker at November 09, 2012 05:34 PM (r2PLg)

89 /ghey wizard sock

Posted by: logprof at November 09, 2012 05:34 PM (jKE+Z)

90 Um... I think we've got a different idea of what "erotic" is.

-----

Says the guy who insists that video of lions humping remains in political ads

Posted by: Dave S. at November 09, 2012 05:34 PM (UvR6d)

91 Ace, you started off with one of Fleming's worst. Read Live and Let Die. Bond's underwater nocturnal swim through shark and barracuda infested Caribbean waters to sabotage the island lair of the villain is some of the most gripping fiction I've read. From there I would gravitate to From Russia With Love and then to Casino Royale. I'm a huge fan of the Fleming books and Craig is the literary creation brought to cinematic life.

Posted by: MorphysGhost at November 09, 2012 05:34 PM (tDieS)

92 Oh thank god. Since the one and only Bond film that ever interested me was Octopussy. Granted I was 14 at the time, so anything with pussy in the name sparked my interest.

Posted by: Whatev at November 09, 2012 05:35 PM (2t6Gz)

93 Ace--

Ha! Have you seen Michael Caine's rebuttal, of sorts, to people imitating his voice? It's on YouTube. He's imitating himself being imitated.

Posted by: moviegique at November 09, 2012 05:35 PM (Cepxj)

94 The new Bond has a purty mouth on him.

Posted by: The Free Shit Mafia at November 09, 2012 05:35 PM (NIZHJ)

95 I agree with Vic-start at the beginning but that's Casino Royale. My favorite book is From Russia with Love and, at the start, Smersh (yes the Russians were the villain in most of the novels) discusses how Bond has screwed up several operations including Mr. Big (From Live and Let Die). One other note-Daniela Bianchi as Tatiana Romanova was my favorite Bond girl with Barbara Bach a close second!

Posted by: Bookdoc at November 09, 2012 05:35 PM (n1aa8)

96
If you've read any of Ian Fleming's books, you'll know that they aren't that good. Mostly written for pre-teen/early teenmale readers.
Depending on which source you trust, the Bond character was based upon one or another of a couple of real-life British intelligence officers. One died about a deade or soafter WWII, killed by the enemy while he wason an undercover mission, while the other possible inspiration lived to a ripe old age and died in bed. Both individuals were fairly colorful and very experienced operatives and intelligence officers.

Posted by: Warren Bonesteel at November 09, 2012 05:35 PM (WwR1j)

97 100% You would need exactly one Romney voter to prove it.

If only there were a software system that could find those people!

Posted by: t-bird at November 09, 2012 05:35 PM (FcR7P)

98 Despite the title, there was actually no sky featured in the new Bond movie because contract negotiations with Brian Dennehy collapsed at the last minute.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at November 09, 2012 05:35 PM (QKKT0)

99 I read a lot of the Bond books back when I was a kid. I wouldn't call them novels, they aren't like John LeCarre books, and certainly nothing like Clancy or what comes to mind when we think of 'spy novels' today. I liked them, but then I was just a kid, so what the hell did I know. I used to read a lot of the Conan books and Edgar Rice Burroughs too.As a kid they were pretty exciting and interesting. I never re-read any of them as an adult, so I don't know how well they would hold up.

Posted by: BigDaddyD at November 09, 2012 05:36 PM (S4N/h)

100 James Bond loves the theatre. And dudes.

Posted by: Craven Moorehead at November 09, 2012 05:36 PM (b+jI9)

101 I'm going to see this in a couple of hours. Will let you know if there is teh ghey subtext or if this is BS.

Posted by: Empire of Jeff at November 09, 2012 05:36 PM (u6Ixe)

102 James Bond isn't gay.
That's what your granny said last night, Trebek! Five times!

Posted by: sean connery at November 09, 2012 05:37 PM (nkiQM)

103 Damn you! wheatie!

Gross--he got the slut walk down too pat.

Posted by: tasker at November 09, 2012 05:37 PM (r2PLg)

104 I can imagine the Bond franchise's marketing people freaking over this meme taking root. Bond is supposed to be the "Women want him; Men want to be him" character. Straight guys don't want any of that, and will take a flyer.

Posted by: Schaeffer at November 09, 2012 05:37 PM (ZN0re)

105 >>>Ha! Have you seen Michael Caine's rebuttal, of sorts, to people imitating his voice? It's on YouTube. He's imitating himself being imitated.

yeah i've seen that.

She was only sixteen years old.

You were only supposed to blow the safe.

Posted by: ace at November 09, 2012 05:37 PM (LCRYB)

106 So this time, instead of an overwrought trendy "parkour" scene, they have an overwrought, trendy "celebrity food show" scene?
===========

no, no. the food is so secondary, it's almost obscure

the focus is on the two men, their lives, their relationships...

it's good

Posted by: sunshine & the beach at November 09, 2012 05:38 PM (LpQbZ)

107
James Bond better get a Prius.



The Interior Department on Friday issued a final plan to close 1.6
million acres of federal land in the West originally slated for oil
shale development.


The proposed plan would fence off a majority of the initial blueprint
laid out in the final days of the George W. Bush administration. It
faces a 30-day protest period and a 60-day process to ensure it is
consistent with local and state policies. After that, the department
would render a decision for implementation.
Under the plan, 677,000 acres in Colorado, Utah and Wyoming would be
open for oil shale exploration. Another 130,000 acres in Utah would be
set aside for tar sands production.

Good Job Colorado. A-Holes.

Posted by: Guy Mohawk at November 09, 2012 05:38 PM (PHb2k)

108 One word - Brownfinga!!!!

Posted by: Bawney Fwank at November 09, 2012 05:39 PM (2t6Gz)

109 >>>Ace, you started off with one of Fleming's worst. Read Live and Let Die. Bond's underwater nocturnal swim through shark and barracuda infested Caribbean waters to sabotage the island lair of the villain is some of the most gripping fiction I've read. From there I would gravitate to From Russia With Love and then to Casino Royale. I'm a huge fan of the Fleming books and Craig is the literary creation brought to cinematic life.

I read them all already, save TMWTGG (which I just read) and I still have to read TSWLM.

I even read Riscio and The Hildebrandt Rarity and Quantum of Solace.

Oh, I know what I haven't read. I never read the short stories The Living Daylights and Octopussy, either.

Posted by: ace at November 09, 2012 05:39 PM (LCRYB)

110 Didn't read the thread, but has anyone mentioned that Pierce Brosnan is a wimpy-voiced clusterfuck of a miserable failure?

Posted by: The Q at November 09, 2012 05:39 PM (w4fEE)

111 I've been watching the Connery Bond films and they're a lot of fun. There's no "grittyness" or other contemporary Hollywood crap. Just smart people trying to outwit each other. And it all seems so clean--even the henchmen look like they bathe regularly.

Posted by: BeckoningChasm at November 09, 2012 05:40 PM (DuH+r)

112 James Bond may not be gay, but Barack Obama really is Keyser Soze.

Posted by: Mitt Romney at November 09, 2012 05:40 PM (+GpbP)

113 Daniel Craig really cleaned up with the Bond franchise. He is now worth 45 million. I wonder if that includes the properties he has bought. I know he bough some posh place in London. I think in Mayfair. He just bought a 12 million dollar penthouse in NY. He has a 50 ft schooner. I'm sure he owns some digs in France. Such a life!

Posted by: Walkers! at November 09, 2012 05:40 PM (C4dFv)

114 3
I don't want to go back and read through all the comments for the past
several threads. Anyone mention John E.'s article about ORCA being
mentioned and linked to at Computerworld? My husband, who never reads
here, noticed it.


Posted by: Barb the Evil Genius at November 09, 2012 05:15 PM (uiI1p)


I've seen it linked at a lot of places....even saw Brit Hume tweet a link to it.

What did they say about it at Computerworld?

Posted by: Tami at November 09, 2012 05:41 PM (X6akg)

115 Also, all the parts about befriending the villain and hanging out at the casino/hotel were reworked for the awesome second hour of the last Timothy Dalton movie "License to Kill."

First hour = bad Miami Vice knockoff
Second hour = awesome reworking of the book and a crazy tanker chase

Posted by: The Q at November 09, 2012 05:42 PM (w4fEE)

116 My favorite is Thunderball. Absolutely, the best Bond girls.

Posted by: Walkers! at November 09, 2012 05:42 PM (C4dFv)

117
90....Says the guy who insists that video of lions humping remains in political ads

Hey. I liked the lions-humping too.
Who knows...it might've helped this year.
Nothing else worked.

Posted by: wheatie at November 09, 2012 05:42 PM (ICEh3)

118 My favorite Bond films were all filmed in Jamaica. Kinda cool to go to the island and see the same locations and smoke some local weed, but mainly smoke the local weed.

Posted by: Schrödinger's cat at November 09, 2012 05:42 PM (feFL6)

119 No doubt in the world of political correctness a incarnation of Bond down the road will have a gay Bond and we'll get to see some sex scenes close up.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at November 09, 2012 05:42 PM (zfFcz)

120 So what if Bond is gay? We just got our asses whipped by Obama because of legitimate rape and gay marriage. we need to move into the 21st century, and adopt all of the Democrat party line. I wish I was wrong.

Thank you.

Posted by: The New GOP Castrati at November 09, 2012 05:43 PM (YmPwQ)

121


As an expert on the Fleming novel, the "Bond
Homosexual" past is taken out of context.


In “The Man with The Golden Gun” there is a report written
by "CC" - theorized to have been based on Hugh Trevor-Roper, that Scaramanga
might be gay because he could not whistle. This theory was later exacerbated by
Kingsley Amis who said that the only logical reason Scaramanga would hire Bond
was that Scaramanga was attractive to Bond. This element was hinted at in “License
to Kill” when Sanchez inexplicably hires Bond. There is no homosexuality with Goldfinger in the novel “Goldfinger”,
in fact it is hinted by Goldfinger that he is impotent and constipated, probably
being addicted to sleeping pills and pornography.


There is a scene in both the novel and movie “Dr
No” where after drugging Bond, Dr No examines Bond nude body while sleeping. Dr
No is a medical doctor who enjoys putting people through experiments and
obstacles.

Posted by: perdogg at November 09, 2012 05:43 PM (Ttf/I)

122 License to Kill also borrowed elements from The Hildebrandt Rarity. I think the "Krest" name comes from that, and there's some business of killing a guy to free the girl from his obsessive cruelty, and there's some underwater stuff. Scuba sleds and such.

Posted by: ace at November 09, 2012 05:43 PM (LCRYB)

123 re: "I always figured he fucked the little midget guy that Tatoo played because, let's be honest, if you get a chance to do a midget you take it."

I don't remember what he looked like, but truly ugly midgets definitely fall under the "if you fuck the Elephant Man, nobody's gonna call you a fag" rule. If he's kinda cute, that's a lifestyle choice.

Posted by: oblig. at November 09, 2012 05:44 PM (cePv8)

124 Exactly what does Octapussy mean?

Posted by: Walkers! at November 09, 2012 05:44 PM (C4dFv)

125 113...tax his ass!

Posted by: Damn Sockpuppet at November 09, 2012 05:44 PM (YmPwQ)

126 Bond movie trivia question. How many times has that Vietnamese bay with all the islands been used in Bond films? Besides 'Man With the Golden Gun' that is? Think it was also used in the movie where Pierce Brosnan co-stars with Michelle Yeoh.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at November 09, 2012 05:44 PM (xtS2H)

127 Craig gets to make sweet monkey love to Rachel Weisz so he is way ahead of the game.

Posted by: Sebastian Melmoth at November 09, 2012 05:45 PM (0SHei)

128 Octopussy is the corniest schlock I've ever seen in a Bond movie, but the ladies are prime fare.

Posted by: Fritz at November 09, 2012 05:45 PM (0yCoM)

129 Ian Fleming fucked up several generations of Western intelligence officers by imbuing them with the romantic idea that a good spy is like Bond. Handsome. Suave. Flashy. Given to distinctive habits like custom cigarettes and drinks made a special way.

Whereas a genuinely professional intelligence officer is most probably the nebbish in a rumpled suit who you will never notice. And hence be very unlikely ever to catch.

As a result, Western HUMINT lagged for pretty much the entire Cold War. The people who saved us on the intelligence front were the engineers with overhead photographic and signals intercept assets. Satellites made up for our human spies on the ground being consistently outplayed.

Posted by: torquewrench at November 09, 2012 05:45 PM (ymG7s)

130 You know, the girls can "experiment" all they want, no problem. But if a dude sucks just one dick, he's a fag for life. Whoaaaaa!

Posted by: Dice Clay at November 09, 2012 05:45 PM (YmPwQ)

131 "The Day of the Jack [and] al"

Posted by: derit at November 09, 2012 05:46 PM (I88Jc)

132 Tami, the author just gives a few excerpts and then concludes: "a cautionary tale about how not to deploy a big-data app in politics or business."

Posted by: Barb the Evil Genius at November 09, 2012 05:46 PM (uiI1p)

133 I guess that's how you get to be an octomom.

Posted by: The Free Shit Mafia at November 09, 2012 05:46 PM (NIZHJ)

134 RE:

"Newsflash: Bond movie's been out for a week..."

You guys are kinda slow who think I was referring to non-US opening.

Sheesh...

Posted by: hannitys_hybrid at November 09, 2012 05:46 PM (zpqa2)

135 I have a DVD version of 'Dr. No' that I have worn the bits off from repeatedly trying to stop Ursala Andrews stepping out of the shower at just the 'right' moment.

Posted by: Schrödinger's cat at November 09, 2012 05:46 PM (feFL6)

136 >>Exactly what does Octapussy mean?

For $15.99/month you can subscribe to my webcam feed and find out!

Posted by: Octomom at November 09, 2012 05:46 PM (1xlN5)

137 >>>119 No doubt in the world of political correctness a incarnation of Bond down the road will have a gay Bond and we'll get to see some sex scenes close up.
Posted by: FenelonSpoke

We get enough gay sex talk right here at AoShq every night from jimi ray. Sheesh!

Posted by: Walkers! at November 09, 2012 05:46 PM (C4dFv)

138
he's not gay gay

Posted by: Whoppie Gayberg at November 09, 2012 05:46 PM (AW9md)

139
Heard more than 1 review that "Lincoln" is blah. I'll go with Bond as the next movie.

Posted by: Guy Mohawk at November 09, 2012 05:47 PM (PHb2k)

140 >>>in fact it is hinted by Goldfinger that he is impotent and constipated, probably
being addicted to sleeping pills and pornography.

Yeah there's a reason for that.

If you read Goldfinger... the description of Goldfinger is different from other villains. It's very PERSONAL. Fleming hates Goldfinger, and not in Evil Villain ways. He attacks him for minor things, like cheating at cards.

Turns out that's because Fleming knew a dentist (I think) named (I think) Goldfinger, and the whole book is kind of vengeance against this guy he really, really, really did not like.

I think Goldfinger sued.

Posted by: ace at November 09, 2012 05:47 PM (LCRYB)

141 Does he cry like Boner?

Posted by: Mr. Pink at November 09, 2012 05:47 PM (++kZl)

142 But it does seem to me a less strained interpretation is "Dude, I've been tortured and threatened in 23 movies before this one. Buy a clue."

Posted by: ace at November 09, 2012 05:29 PM (LCRYB)


Yes, but that doesn't serve an *agenda*, so, out it goes!

Posted by: Merovign, Dark Lord of the Sith at November 09, 2012 05:47 PM (bxiXv)

143 132
Tami, the author just gives a few excerpts and then concludes: "a
cautionary tale about how not to deploy a big-data app in politics or
business."

=======================


So no one has yet to dig up the name of the company that designed ORCA?

Posted by: Tami at November 09, 2012 05:47 PM (X6akg)

144 "a cautionary tale about how not to deploy a big-data app in politics or business."

These 2012 election retrospectives are going to write themselves!

Zzzzzzzzz.........

Posted by: hannitys_hybrid at November 09, 2012 05:48 PM (zpqa2)

145 >>But if a dude sucks just one dick, he's a fag for life

I thought it was the eigth one that made you gay?

Posted by: garrett at November 09, 2012 05:48 PM (1xlN5)

146 129 Ian Fleming fucked up several generations of Western intelligence officers by imbuing them with the romantic idea that a good spy is like Bond. Handsome. Suave. Flashy. Given to distinctive habits like custom cigarettes and drinks made a special way.

Whereas a genuinely professional intelligence officer is most probably the nebbish in a rumpled suit who you will never notice. And hence be very unlikely ever to catch.

As a result, Western HUMINT lagged for pretty much the entire Cold War. The people who saved us on the intelligence front were the engineers with overhead photographic and signals intercept assets. Satellites made up for our human spies on the ground being consistently outplayed.

Posted by: torquewrench at November 09, 2012 05:45 PM (ymG7s)

Cite, please.

Posted by: Empire of Jeff at November 09, 2012 05:48 PM (JDIKC)

147 Someone with a pocket protector '16!

Posted by: hannitys_hybrid at November 09, 2012 05:49 PM (zpqa2)

148 I read a David Baldacci a few years back. Pretty good stuff.

Posted by: The Free Shit Mafia at November 09, 2012 05:49 PM (NIZHJ)

149 a new flag for our republic

http://bit.ly/Z0ftzA

Posted by: George Orwell what knows we are now Airstrip One at November 09, 2012 05:49 PM (mukPq)

150 So his new "girlfriend" is Butthole Galore?

Posted by: TexasJew at November 09, 2012 05:49 PM (6/bOE)

151 Big shock, ORCA was written by Anonymous.

I hope I am wrong.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at November 09, 2012 05:49 PM (xtS2H)

152 I'd rather my dentist be named Goldfinger than Stinkfinger or Fuckfinger. But that's just me.

Posted by: Damn Sockpuppet at November 09, 2012 05:49 PM (YmPwQ)

153 Damn it..
Boehner started crying and drowned my gerbil.

Posted by: TexasJew at November 09, 2012 05:50 PM (6/bOE)

154 I don't think guy on guy works for gals the same way girl on girl works form dudes.

Posted by: tasker at November 09, 2012 05:50 PM (r2PLg)

155 Tami, doesn't seem so.

Posted by: Barb the Evil Genius at November 09, 2012 05:50 PM (uiI1p)

156 Have a seat.

Posted by: Dr. Butterfinger at November 09, 2012 05:50 PM (NIZHJ)

157
139
Heard more than 1 review that "Lincoln" is blah. I'll go with Bond as the next movie.

Fuck Daniel Day Lewis with a pineapple, sideways.
He made fun of Clint Eastwood at the BAFTA awards...using an empty chair.

He's also "extremely grateful" that Barky was re-elected.

Posted by: wheatie at November 09, 2012 05:50 PM (ICEh3)

158 OT but my most enjoyable read of a spy novel was American Assassin by Vince Flynn.

Posted by: Sebastian Melmoth at November 09, 2012 05:50 PM (xhupI)

159 The sexiest Bond film: "Moonraker".

Posted by: Soona at November 09, 2012 05:50 PM (xZZ44)

160 Wait, Mr. Bond! We can do a deal!

Posted by: Andrew Sullivan at November 09, 2012 05:51 PM (rWGH+)

161 *falls on sword*

Daniel Craig as 007 next stars in 'Breaking Twilight.'

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at November 09, 2012 05:51 PM (xtS2H)

162 Yeah, Soona, the Jaws-nerdy little girl hookup turned me on big time.

Posted by: Damn Sockpuppet at November 09, 2012 05:52 PM (YmPwQ)

163 Col Hunt coming up on WRKO
http://player.tritonmedia.com/entercom/WRKOAM

Posted by: madamex at November 09, 2012 05:52 PM (+kvQd)

164 15 Smart. Military.

Posted by: Truman North at November 09, 2012 05:20 PM (YEdnb)



Blog.



Well, one for three over a career gets you into the Hall at least.

Posted by: BCochran1981 at November 09, 2012 05:53 PM (n5+zr)

165 >>>He's also "extremely grateful" that Barky was re-elected. Posted by: wheatie

Yeah, I'm really sick of that shit. Just tried to watch Russell Howard a brit comedian and he did that crap, too. Slobbered over obama and took cheap shots at Romney and even Bush.

Posted by: Walkers! at November 09, 2012 05:53 PM (C4dFv)

166 The next Bond villain should be Peyton Manning - the smartest man in America.

Manning just bought 21 Papa John pizza stores in Colorado a week before they legalized weed.

Posted by: The Q at November 09, 2012 05:54 PM (w4fEE)

167 Sean Connery was certainly the best Bond, but Daniel Craig is a close second, and his movies are much better.

Sophie Marceau was the best Bond girl, followed by Carole Bouquet. Barbara Bach's cleavage was the stuff of teenage dreams, but as it turned out, wasn't really all that impressive.

Ace-thanks for taking my mind off our situation. The world certainly seems gray right now.

Posted by: pep at November 09, 2012 05:54 PM (6TB1Z)

168 24 20
Everyone on TV is talking about how to "avoid the physical clit". I thought we weren't supposed to avoid the clit. I'm confused.


You talking about the little man in the boat that Sandra Fluke rubs?

Posted by: Billy Bob, pseudo intellectual at November 09, 2012 05:22 PM (wR+pzbi)

Sandra has a boat? Does she smell like fish too?

Posted by: Killerdog at November 09, 2012 05:55 PM (0dPrg)

169 >>>I'd rather my dentist be named Goldfinger than Stinkfinger or Fuckfinger. But that's just me.

Years ago, I had a proctologist named Goldfinger. I just couldn't quit him.

Posted by: Roger Moore at November 09, 2012 05:55 PM (0yCoM)

170 I'd rather my dentist be named Goldfinger than Stinkfinger or Fuckfinger.

You ever start watching some shit and you know it's all made up and this can't possibly be real? I got suckered into some 20 minute long movie (I mean it can't possibly be porn if it's 20 minutes, right?) about some girl with a huge rack going to the dentist. It was pretty well done, and for quite a while you kinda suppose she isn't really getting paid for what's happening, but if I was of the female gender and had a set of DD's that's one dentist I'd skip.

Posted by: Schrödinger's cat at November 09, 2012 05:55 PM (feFL6)

171 No, Mr Bond, I expect you to jizz.

Posted by: Goldenrod at November 09, 2012 05:55 PM (nkiQM)

172 Wasn't there a bond villain named Hand Job?

Posted by: Dr Peter Veckman at November 09, 2012 05:56 PM (b+jI9)

173 So, "shaken, not stirred" is actually about his cock?

Posted by: TexasJew at November 09, 2012 05:57 PM (6/bOE)

174 I'd rather my dentist be named Goldfinger than Stinkfinger or Fuckfinger.
i think you are to hung up on names

Posted by: Dr Butterfingers at November 09, 2012 05:58 PM (AW9md)

175 I just saw Austin Powers for the first time a couple of weeks ago. Now that Top Job was dangerous. Was sentenced to prison for life for kidnap, rape and torture.

Posted by: Walkers! at November 09, 2012 05:59 PM (C4dFv)

176 I had a dentist named Pullmyfinger.

Posted by: BigDaddyD at November 09, 2012 05:59 PM (S4N/h)

177 Wasn't there a bond villain named Hand Job?

He wasn't as much of a tease as Dr. Maybe.

Posted by: George Orwell what knows we are now Airstrip One at November 09, 2012 05:59 PM (mukPq)

178
First of all, James Bond is not a spy, this was confirmed by Kingsley Amis in the "James Bond Dossier". The Bond novels were not political spy thrillers. The closest thing to a political Bond was "From Russia With Love".
Yes several elements from different Bond novels were put in "License to Kill" - Including The Man with Golden Gun, Casino Royale, Live and Let Die, and short-story The Hildebrand Rarity.
Octopussy is thepet name Major Smythe called his pet Octopus in the short-story Octopussy.

Posted by: perdogg at November 09, 2012 05:59 PM (Ttf/I)

179 Sophie Marceau makes me feel funny in the pants.

Posted by: Damn Sockpuppet at November 09, 2012 05:59 PM (YmPwQ)

180 22
She is cute


Meh.

Posted by: pep at November 09, 2012 05:59 PM (6TB1Z)

181 How do you stir a cock??

Posted by: Walkers! at November 09, 2012 05:59 PM (C4dFv)

182 Wrong thread.

Posted by: pep at November 09, 2012 06:00 PM (6TB1Z)

183 The real Goldfinger was a Hugarianarchitect.

Posted by: perdogg at November 09, 2012 06:00 PM (Ttf/I)

184 Don't forget me!

Posted by: Dr Nob at November 09, 2012 06:01 PM (nkiQM)

185 Yeah, Soona, the Jaws-nerdy little girl hookup turned me on big time.
Posted by: Damn Sockpuppet at November 09, 2012 05:52 PM (YmPwQ)


----------------------------------------------


My favorite was the jiggly helicopter pilot who eventually got eaten by the dogs.

Posted by: Soona at November 09, 2012 06:04 PM (xZZ44)

186
How do you stir a cock??

get up before the sun rises

Posted by: Dr Butterfingers at November 09, 2012 06:05 PM (AW9md)

187 Posted by: perdogg at November 09, 2012 05:59 PM (Ttf/I)

Oh really?

So why would Ian Fleming write a book called...wait for it...

"The Spy Who Loved Me".

Posted by: HH at November 09, 2012 06:05 PM (v+ExF)

188 I seem to recall somebody on TV saying that Ian Fleming wrote the Bond character as hyper-heterosexual because all the famous British spies of the time were gay and Fleming wanted to counteract that national reputation.

Posted by: Socratease at November 09, 2012 06:05 PM (iVBDH)

189 Thanks for the 'Trip' clip. First time I've laughed all week.

Posted by: Dave in San Diego at November 09, 2012 06:06 PM (g9fFO)

190 Could you let that drip into my martini, please.

Posted by: My name is Bond, Bruce Bond at November 09, 2012 06:07 PM (xZZ44)

191 Is it safe?

Posted by: Dr. Szell at November 09, 2012 06:10 PM (YmPwQ)

192 I saw Skyfall last night at an early premier party. There were parts of it that made me think of The Man with the Golden Gun. I also thought the homoerotic scene depictedthe villain's attempt to unnerve or make Bond feel uncomfortable. I believe that's whyBond said, "What makes you think it's my first time..." or whatever it was exactly. After all the villain had Bond tied to a chair trying to taunt him. I don't think it was about making Bond appear gay or open to a homosexual tryst. The villain was certainly flamboyant at times, but I don't think he was gay either. In this day and age, they would have just said it.

Posted by: bicentennialguy at November 09, 2012 06:10 PM (WQWF0)

193 Golden Gun is the worst Bond book to start with. It was unedited and possibly unfinished and may have only been published in the form it was to score some quick cash (or avoid having to repay an advance). I considered it a first or second draft.

Start at the beginning, Casino Royale, Live Let Die, Moonraker, From Russia With Love, Dr. No, Goldfinger.

Posted by: Adjoran at November 09, 2012 06:15 PM (ZHQvg)

194
The term "Spy" is used as euphemism by Vivien Michel who knows that Bond is some "police man" but knows no more.
Quote "He was only some kind of a spy, a spy who loved me"

Posted by: perdogg at November 09, 2012 06:15 PM (Ttf/I)

195 From now on, every cool, collected, manly movie star you ever liked is now gay. And goes out of his way to recycle.

Posted by: Media Manufacturers at November 09, 2012 06:16 PM (JVEmw)

196 perdogg, right, Hungarian architect. thanks.

Posted by: ace at November 09, 2012 06:17 PM (LCRYB)

197 Just saw Skyfall. The scene in question was the villain playing head games with Bond, trying to freak him out. The movie is really good. Bardem is great as the villain.

Posted by: FPW at November 09, 2012 06:19 PM (BDNF5)

198 None of the Bond books is very good. James Bond would make a lousy agent in real life. He frequently puts his missions at risk to score some tail.

Posted by: Ozzie at November 09, 2012 06:20 PM (OcxA8)

199 If you want a real bad ass read the Matt Helm series. Plus he's an American.

Posted by: Ozzie at November 09, 2012 06:21 PM (OcxA8)

200 @197 - What did you think of Q? At first I didn't like him, but he grew on me.

Posted by: bicentennialguy at November 09, 2012 06:21 PM (WQWF0)

201
Shouldn't James get a blumpkin first before going ghey and then full blown transgender?

Posted by: Whassup b!tchez at November 09, 2012 06:26 PM (BHM5V)

202 Ah. I now have no interest in seeing this film. Thanks! Sincerely...

Posted by: Lynne at November 09, 2012 06:28 PM (coNWF)

203 Posted by: perdogg at November 09, 2012 06:15 PM (Ttf/I)

But Fleming used that as a title.

However, we may be differing on our definition of a 'Spy'.

Is it one who infiltrates an organization, or someone who observes from the outside, as Bond tried to do in "Dr.No"?\

One other thing about the Bond books. Fleming tipped his hand in "From Russia With Love". He knew about the Ultra Secret, He just changed the Germans to Soviets.

Amazing that he got away with it..

Posted by: HH at November 09, 2012 06:30 PM (v+ExF)

204 @202 - Don't let that ruin it for you. Seriously, it wasn't really that long or involved and never revisited it again.

Posted by: bicentennialguy at November 09, 2012 06:33 PM (WQWF0)

205 Therewere more homosexual overtones in Diamonds Are Forever than in this movie.

Posted by: bicentennialguy at November 09, 2012 06:34 PM (WQWF0)

206
You are taking it out of context, you need to read Kingsley Amis "James Bond Dossier". It is explained in the very first paragraph of the very first chapter.
The James Bond Dossier - Kingsley Amis - Jonathan Cape 1965, page 11
"Bond's only proper secret-stealing exploit, the acquiring of a Soviet cipher-machine...Neither he nor his superiors think of it as a normal assigment"
"Viviene Michel, narrator of The Spy Who Loved Me, gave Bond a wrong label out of desire for euphony and simplicity, or perhaps a minor paradox." 'TheMedium-Grade CivilServant Who Loved Me' would have been more accurate as well as more acceptable to M".
Bondbeing assigned the mission in Dr No, not fully aware of Dr No's involvement, was out of M's desire to satisfy the Foreign Office's desire to resolve the issue as to whether Strageway committed a murder suicide. Bond believed he was being punished for the incident that almost got him killed in "From Russia with love".

Posted by: Perdogg at November 09, 2012 06:45 PM (Ttf/I)

207
Correct, in the novel, Kidd and Wint were suspected by Leiterof being homosexuals.

Posted by: Perdogg at November 09, 2012 06:46 PM (Ttf/I)

208 Diamonds are Forever has been playing a lot recently on BBC America. It's more campy than th eusual Bond movie, but Jill St. John is smokin' (it helps that she and I share a birthday, even if hers is like 30 years before mine), it's cool seeing how barren Vegas was in 1971, and Kidd and Wint are as gay as could be expected from hat era.

Posted by: Damn Sockpuppet at November 09, 2012 06:57 PM (YmPwQ)

209 >>.My favorite was the jiggly helicopter pilot who eventually got eaten by the dogs.

they were different girls. the one who got eaten by the dogs was like a private secretary. the jiggly helicopter pilot (Naomi-- not that I obsess over her or anything) was killed by Bond's missile, from his aqua car.

Actually you're conflating two different movies. Girl killed by Dogs-- Moonraker, Pilot Juggalicious McWinkyface -- TSWLM.

Posted by: ace at November 09, 2012 06:59 PM (LCRYB)

210 Given the way the UK is going, I'm surprised that the Ministry of Social Justice didn't just order that in the new movie 007 had to become both Muslim, and gay. In the name of equality.

Posted by: Stu-22 at November 09, 2012 07:09 PM (k4bdL)

211 The Trip was better as the 6-part half-hour TV show that it first was (available on torrents). When they cut it down by half for the movie -- which by the way, has that ever happened before? -- they lost a lot of the tension and drama of what Steve Coogan's character was going thru. Rob Bryden is just one of the funniest men on the planet in everything he's in.

These two were also in the not-quite-documentary "A Cock and Bull Story" about the filming of the "impossible to film" novel "Tristram Shandy". It's a harder concept than The Trip but still very funny.




Posted by: Bang Out Of Order at November 09, 2012 07:10 PM (1H47k)

212 They did the whole "Has 007 been turned?" deal in the Halle Berry film. You know the one, uh... "Golden Yesterday Always Never Dies Twice."

Or whatever. Except that halfway through the movie you realize that M deliberately showed Bond how to escape so she always knew he was still a god guy.

Anyway, read the other Fleming Bond novels. They are much grittier than the films, and Sean Connery has come closer than anyone in portraying Bond as the ruthless killing machine who also has expensive tastes. Roger Moore was a well dressed ponce moonlighting as a spy, Timothy Dalton had a lot of the darkness Fleming wrote in, and Peirce Brosnan was competent but hampered by his earlier incarnation as Remington Steel. Plus, it didn't help that he had to act as though Denise Richards was a credible nukular fizzisisst. Daniel Craig? Please. I know that I could backhand his sad sorry ass across the room without taking a deep breath.

Posted by: Steve Skubinna at November 09, 2012 08:02 PM (ocxyf)

213
Wow, way to kill an audience, Bond people.

Old Hollywood maxim about heroes : Every producer knows that a hero in film is a character a male member of the audience wants to BE and a female member of the audience wants to BE WITH."

So, if youbelieve a Bond film can make huge dollars with anaudience of gay men and fag hags, you've got yourself a winner there, HW.

Posted by: gm at November 09, 2012 08:10 PM (wgmUB)

214 Ace, read Living Daylights. Pass on Octopussy and TSWLM. TSWLM is a really bizarre Bond novel. Fleming used first person narration here and the first person in question isn't Bond, Its Vivienne Michel, a 20-something college student. She gets embroiled in a hostage situation at a motor inn near the Canadian border. Bond doesn't appear until halfway through the book. It was probably Fleming's attempt to break out of a formulaic rut but still use the character that was signing the checks.

Posted by: MorphysGhost at November 09, 2012 08:40 PM (tDieS)

215 Yeah, what happened to the Cold War? This one goes heavy on the "Golden"-style psychological stuff. Dame Judy has a good speech about our current enemy. (You could almost say the "familiar face" was a reference to ______.) I resolve not to include any spoilers.
No mention of Morland's of Grosvenor Street, or Haig Pinch Bottle, for example; compared with the books (in one of which Fleming admires "muscular, taut prose"), the movies are mostly send-ups although they seem to have left the Playboy era behind.

Posted by: Thorvald at November 09, 2012 09:44 PM (1V6Pv)

216
.....james ....kirk!
.......james.... !?
moron

Posted by: is not gay at November 09, 2012 10:39 PM (D7lJF)

217 taken the time!

Posted by: to read you all at November 09, 2012 10:41 PM (D7lJF)

218 get out the vote

Posted by: Buck O 5 at November 09, 2012 10:43 PM (D7lJF)

219 I've read every (Fleming) Bond novel and anthology of short stories, and have seen every Bond movie. Enjoyed all the books, but agree that Man With the Golden Gun was probably the weakest.
I thought the movies went downhill when Roger Moore took over the role of Bond, and the series turned campy. Connery played a gritty, ruthless Bondwith an ironic sense of humor that worked well.
Anyway, can't Hollywood just leave it alone, ever? Not everything has to be an offshoot of Glee with some sort of PC alternative lifestyle component. It's OK for some guys not to have a gay side, and neither Connery nor Bond did. Just leave it wtihin screaming distance of something resembling the way it was written for Crissakes.Create a gay secret agent if you have to, but just leave an icon be. Is thatsoverboten today? Nextthing the Man With No Name will be naked other than thong underwear under his poncho, and Dirty Harry will carry pepper spray instead of his Magnum and hit psycho killers with his purse.
Trying to keep it not too heavy, but I guess my tolerance for PC and omnipresent liberal crap isn't real high right now.

Posted by: RM at November 09, 2012 10:58 PM (ixDYs)

220 It was the only one I hadn't read, except for one more, which I hear is HORRRRRRIBLE -- "The Spy Who Loved Me."

I read it some 25 years ago and don't recall it being horrible. I was but a teenager at the time so, my tastes having matured, I might feel differently now, but I found it readable enough. It is far, far from what one expects from a Bond story.

In fact, the most interesting thing about it is that the only things it has in common with the movie are the title and the main character's name.

Posted by: Dodd at November 13, 2012 01:48 PM (iplzA)






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