Keith Olbermann, Titan of Twitter, Goes Looking For A Job On TV

This is complicated by the fact that he's burned his bridges with virtually every network he's worked for... which is most of them.

So he's casting a wide net. Including with cable networks that don't even do any kind of news, like... AMC.

You might suspect that Olbermann would be steering clear of NBC Universal in his job hunt, given his acrimonious history with that company, and you’d be right, at least as far as I’ve heard. Among the networks he’s approached are ones owned by Viacom and AMC Networks, two conglomerates he has yet to quarrel with.

Will Special Comment for Food.

Posted by: Ace at 08:58 PM

Comments

1 OMG YAY! It's been so LONG since we've had a dedicated post for verbally abusing Keefums! It's like Christmas come early!

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Binder Hobbit and ABO supporter at October 25, 2012 09:00 PM (CA2NO)

2 Ace, maybe you could throw him a little coin for a post or two.

Posted by: rdbrewer at October 25, 2012 09:01 PM (Iyg03)

3 Obama is a stuttering clusterf*ck of a miserable failure.

Posted by: steevy at October 25, 2012 09:01 PM (6o4Fb)

4 Bathtub sales man?

Posted by: weft cut-loop at October 25, 2012 09:02 PM (DKxu1)

5 Imagine getting Keith in here to abuse in person. Boggles the mind, it does.

Posted by: Popcorn at October 25, 2012 09:02 PM (uIpSF)

6
Olbermann can't even do a Podcast that sells advertising.
(like Carolla does quite profitably)

Posted by: Comrade Arthur at October 25, 2012 09:02 PM (eEev7)

7 Perhaps a little shuck and jive would help. Dance Keith, dance!

Posted by: pep at October 25, 2012 09:02 PM (6TB1Z)

8 I think I said this on an earlier thread, but Olberdouche clearly assumed he'd have another job lined up well before the election. His ego doubtless convinced him that he'd have news outlets banging down his door, desperate for his Edward R. Murrow-esque gravitas to anchor their election coverage. Now that we're less than two weeks away and he hasn't gotten an offer yet, he's starting to get desperate.

I love it. It's like candy. Gimme gimme gimme.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Binder Hobbit and ABO supporter at October 25, 2012 09:02 PM (CA2NO)

9 He could let the HBO chick from that video fuck him up his nose with a strap on.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at October 25, 2012 09:03 PM (+tqYo)

10 Keith who?

Posted by: Tuna at October 25, 2012 09:03 PM (M/TDA)

11 I hope he invested wisely.Actually,I don't.He would make a humorous homeless man.

Posted by: steevy at October 25, 2012 09:03 PM (6o4Fb)

12 Please, please, if any of you can think of a job for me, just tell me! I pitched a show to TLC where I slay global warming, literally slay it with a sword, but they passed. To AMC I pitched a show where I comment on comic books with that dwarf in glasses. I even pitched an idea to LOGO where I date random homeless people. OH PLEASE HELP ME!

Posted by: Keith Olbermann at October 25, 2012 09:03 PM (qJlNG)

13 Maybe he could write a book like that plonking Brit.

"How to be a Sanctimonious, Smug Asshole in 3 Easy Lessons"

Posted by: weft cut-loop at October 25, 2012 09:03 PM (DKxu1)

14 Ace, maybe you could throw him a little coin for a post or two.
Posted by: rdbrewer at October 25, 2012 09:01 PM (Iyg03)

Seriously, just a little coin. A dime perhaps. That's the smallest coin we mint, isn't it?

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Binder Hobbit and ABO supporter at October 25, 2012 09:03 PM (CA2NO)

15 Wasn't this clown pulling in $15 million per year at one point?

Where the hell did it all go?

Posted by: fluffy at October 25, 2012 09:03 PM (O6q63)

16 This is the finger I receive rejection letters with.

Posted by: Keith O at October 25, 2012 09:04 PM (DbybK)

17 I've "talked" to him on twitter before. And by talked I mean I retweeted something someone said about him and he went on a four or five tweet rant in which he basically called me a fascist and told me to kill myself. I couldn't respond because I was laughing so hard.

Posted by: Adam at October 25, 2012 09:05 PM (/YJYi)

18 When Mitt Romney was heading Bain Capital, an employee asked for time off because his daughter had gone missing in NYC. (And you have some idea of what that can mean.)

So, did this cold, distant, greedy One Percenter grant the man's request? NO!!!

Instead, he shut down Bain, flew his thirty employees to NYC where he set up a command post, canvassed the city and distributed tens of thousands of flyers. Within two weeks the man had his daughter back.

Can't speak for you, but this is the kind of man I want occupying the Oval Office, not some petulant man-child with no resume who pouts and sneers as he redistributes America's wealth and power to the rest of the world and who lets his national security staff sit idly by watching live video of 7 hours of attacks on four Americans while doing NOTHING to save any of them with the military assets at his ready command.

Then on to Vegas!

Mitt Romney will not tell that story about himself. Barack Obama would -- repeatedly -- but has no story to tell.

Posted by: Up with people! at October 25, 2012 09:06 PM (kzFo5)

19 Happy OT
I'm on a training call right now for volunteering for Romney.

They've had 10,000 people sign up in the past week alone.

Posted by: Filly at October 25, 2012 09:06 PM (XPGaG)

20 Wait, you mean to say that two fat sacks of ego couldn't work together and make ultra liberal policy's popular?!?

I'm SHOCKED!!

Posted by: Capt. Louie Renault at October 25, 2012 09:07 PM (E7Iyp)

21 I would be willing to donate to an HQ fund to get Olby to do a guest post here. Just let me rifle through the couch cushions and see what I can find under the seats in my car. I'm sure I've got some pennies under there, next to the Junior Mints that have been there since I went to see "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows (part two)."

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Binder Hobbit and ABO supporter at October 25, 2012 09:07 PM (CA2NO)

22 @9: you owe me a new keyboard...

Posted by: Tex Lovera at October 25, 2012 09:07 PM (j+44v)

23 This semester's class needs to observe the arousal a sex-worker experiences when inserting various objects, and Mr. O. will make a fine adjunct.

Posted by: Magilla Guerilla, Ph. D. at October 25, 2012 09:07 PM (I88Jc)

24
I'm sure their is an empty chair at a cable tv public ~~abscess~~ access channel waiting for him.

Posted by: YIKES! at October 25, 2012 09:08 PM (PlCer)

25 Wasn't this clown pulling in $15 million per year at one point?

Where the hell did it all go?
-------------------------------------

$15 million a year is "middle class" when you reside in NYC.

Posted by: Scoop at October 25, 2012 09:08 PM (AzwZn)

26 En Fuego!

Posted by: that guy that shouts en fuego at October 25, 2012 09:08 PM (QupBk)

27 He's really a lucky guy. It's unbelievable that such an unlikeable asshole could make a living on tv as long as he has.

Posted by: boniface ballers at October 25, 2012 09:09 PM (l3RZ9)

28 Is he still fucking that 20 year old?

Posted by: Billy Bob, pseudo intellectual at October 25, 2012 09:09 PM (wR+pz)

29 Keith, there is a farm out there that needs you.

Heed your true calling!

Posted by: eman at October 25, 2012 09:09 PM (+XD7n)

30 Oh, and part of the volunteer system will allow us to send updates to headquarters and the call leader is all, "This will allow you to send messages to Governor Romney so he can see them scroll across the screen! You can keep him updated!"

LOL @ Mitt sitting at a Starbucks somewhere with a laptop, all, "Look! Frank in Kansas is getting his lunch on since the line is down!" But great to hear they think a personal connection is a selling point. I take that as a positive

Posted by: Filly at October 25, 2012 09:09 PM (XPGaG)

31 #9..that is the shite...OMFG

Posted by: DeusExMachina at October 25, 2012 09:10 PM (6RTwM)

32 yawn..............................

Posted by: Tami at October 25, 2012 09:10 PM (X6akg)

33 $15 million a year is "middle class" when you reside in NYC.

Maybe he can moves his ass out to Queens and cut down on the expenses.

Posted by: fluffy at October 25, 2012 09:10 PM (O6q63)

34 I was listening to the college radio station from back home earlier this evening. They ran a god-damned ad for Dan Rather's radio news show (snort).

Maybe Keef could do a show with Dan? They could call it "The Disgraceables".

Aww, who am I kidding? There's not a planetoid large enough for those two egos...

Posted by: Tex Lovera at October 25, 2012 09:10 PM (j+44v)

35 He could do an animal husbandry course on public tv.

Posted by: Up with people! at October 25, 2012 09:10 PM (kzFo5)

36 I dare Fox to offer him a job.

Posted by: buzzion at October 25, 2012 09:10 PM (GULKT)

37 Used Butt Plugs from Greggums

Posted by: Evilpens at October 25, 2012 09:11 PM (ck76k)

38 He's really a lucky guy. It's unbelievable that such an unlikeable asshole could make a living on tv as long as he has.

---

Everyone on MSNBC says hey.

Posted by: mediumheadboy at October 25, 2012 09:11 PM (aHR5E)

39 Keef looking for job? He should be able to make a good Buck on the street corner.

Posted by: Jimi at October 25, 2012 09:11 PM (6sLo8)

40 SyFy has to have something up his alley.

Posted by: Othered at October 25, 2012 09:11 PM (EuW9O)

41 Maybe he should borrow some cash from his little brother Rachel.

Posted by: eastvalleyphx at October 25, 2012 09:11 PM (GRvW4)

42 my ass and Keith's face, need I say more?

Posted by: Killerdog at October 25, 2012 09:12 PM (CXeMr)

43 Posted by: buzzion at October 25, 2012 09:10 PM (GULKT)

isn't Billy BS & Hedgehog Hannity isn't bad enough ?

Posted by: Evilpens at October 25, 2012 09:12 PM (ck76k)

44 Try Community Access, Keith.

Posted by: A. at October 25, 2012 09:12 PM (WEPdP)

45 I LOVE ME MY KEITH!

YOU HATE HIM BECAUSE HE SPEAKS THE TRUTH!

Posted by: KayInMaine at October 25, 2012 09:12 PM (/Aauo)

46 Maybe Obama and Reggie will hire him as a fluffer.

Posted by: mediumheadboy at October 25, 2012 09:12 PM (aHR5E)

47 Excuse me, I need to go find some sympathy... *digs* *searches* *inspects*

No, that was just a booger.

Posted by: boulder hobo at October 25, 2012 09:12 PM (QTHTd)

48 I dare Fox to offer him a job.

Shep's weather bunny.

Posted by: toby928© for TB at October 25, 2012 09:12 PM (QupBk)

49 Maybe Keith is Greg? They both sound desperate and somewhat psychotic. Of course realizing your just a tool of the Axelrod thugs might do that to a person.

Posted by: DeusExMachina at October 25, 2012 09:12 PM (6RTwM)

50 I could film him raking leaves in my back yard. Can't pay him much, but he can keep all the leaves he finds.

Posted by: Up with people! at October 25, 2012 09:12 PM (kzFo5)

51 Keith, call me.

Posted by: Mary Mapes at October 25, 2012 09:13 PM (+XD7n)

52 @41

You owe me a keyboard!

[milk out nose]

Posted by: Jimi at October 25, 2012 09:13 PM (6sLo8)

53 I'm shocked at the vulgarity and insult against Keith Olberman. He makes hundreds of dollars a year and you shouldn't make fun of him.

Posted by: Lena at October 25, 2012 09:13 PM (deAVu)

54 It's unbelievable that such an unlikeable asshole could make a living on tv as long as he has.

You mean make a living on TV as long as he did. He is blissfully off the tube now, and I'm loving every second of his woeful anonymity.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Binder Hobbit and ABO supporter at October 25, 2012 09:14 PM (CA2NO)

55 Wow, this brought out KayInMaine???
Hey Kay baby, meet me at the rest area in Hampden and Ive got a black mamba for you...you know you want your first time to be with Barack Obama.

Posted by: DeusExMachina at October 25, 2012 09:14 PM (6RTwM)

56 not to worry, I'm sure he'll be on Hoarders soon.

or Infested.

Posted by: BlackOrchid-StillMissingDagny at October 25, 2012 09:14 PM (J6kXj)

57 9 -

I still shake my head at the fact that SHE has a job on tv. I don't think I've ever seen a less attractive female lead anywhere. And yes, I'm including Rosanne Barr.

Posted by: BurtTC at October 25, 2012 09:14 PM (BeSEI)

58 KayinMaine forgot to spit.

Posted by: eman at October 25, 2012 09:14 PM (+XD7n)

59 Aww, who am I kidding? There's not a planetoid large enough for those two egos...
Posted by: Tex Lovera at October 25, 2012 09:10 PM (j+44v)

Two words:

Jello.

Wrestling.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Binder Hobbit and ABO supporter at October 25, 2012 09:15 PM (CA2NO)

60 "You look familiar. Do I know you? It says here on the application that your name is Beith Kolbermann?"

"That's correct. Kolbermann with a 'k'"

"Errr..."

Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at October 25, 2012 09:15 PM (BuSM8)

61 The link in KayInSane's sig is aptly named.

Posted by: mediumheadboy at October 25, 2012 09:15 PM (aHR5E)

62 Wow, this brought out KayInMaine???
Hey Kay
baby, meet me at the rest area in Hampden and Ive got a black mamba for
you...you know you want your first time to be with Barack Obama.

Posted by: DeusExMachina at October 25, 2012 09:14 PM (6RTwM)

Mary can't be far behind.

Posted by: eastvalleyphx at October 25, 2012 09:15 PM (GRvW4)

63 Above all, Keith remains humble:

>He has expressed interest in taking over as anchor of existing shows

unemployment suits you, Keith

Posted by: Jones in CO at October 25, 2012 09:15 PM (8sCoq)

64 LOL @ Mitt sitting at a Starbucks somewhere with a laptop, all, "Look! Frank in Kansas is getting his lunch on since the line is down!"

I laughed. A LOT.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Binder Hobbit and ABO supporter at October 25, 2012 09:15 PM (CA2NO)

65 Coming to a street corner near you soon.

Keith Olbermann is.....

The Rambling Incoherent Man!!!

Posted by: Tex Lovera at October 25, 2012 09:15 PM (j+44v)

66 44
Even Community Access has standards.

Posted by: Tuna at October 25, 2012 09:15 PM (M/TDA)

67 I've "talked" to him on twitter before. And by talked I mean I retweeted
something someone said about him and he went on a four or five tweet
rant in which he basically called me a fascist and told me to kill
myself.

Adam - never punch down.

Posted by: boulder hobo at October 25, 2012 09:15 PM (QTHTd)

68 Posted by: KayInMaine at October 25, 2012 09:12 PM (/Aauo)

----

Does Keith spit?

Posted by: Craig Poe at October 25, 2012 09:15 PM (BVkEs)

69 I might have something available next month.

Posted by: Jorge Chavez-Cockfighting Referees Local #302 at October 25, 2012 09:16 PM (AzwZn)

70 @68 he swallows.
Can't keep any evidence

Posted by: Capt. Louie Renault at October 25, 2012 09:17 PM (E7Iyp)

71 It's unbelievable that such an unlikeable asshole could make a living on tv as long as he has.

Oh, Gawd! HAHAHA

Posted by: Joe Biden at October 25, 2012 09:17 PM (QTHTd)

72 @39: OH FUCKING HELLL!!! GET ME THE EYEBLEACH, NOW!!!! GAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

Posted by: Tex Lovera at October 25, 2012 09:17 PM (j+44v)

73
Heh. In one of his last appearances on MNF, he was seated waaaayyy over at the end of the desk and no one else made eye contact with him or acknowledged his presence in any way.

Bob Costas appeared to be trying to get rid of a particularly nasty fart when the camera cut back to him.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy at October 25, 2012 09:17 PM (lOmbq)

74 Oops. sockoff

Posted by: JarvisW at October 25, 2012 09:17 PM (E7Iyp)

75 not to worry, I'm sure he'll be on Hoarders soon.

or Infested.
Posted by: BlackOrchid-StillMissingDagny at October 25, 2012 09:14 PM (J6kXj)

Taboo. He'll appear in a segment about men who spend their evenings weeping in the bathtub.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Binder Hobbit and ABO supporter at October 25, 2012 09:17 PM (CA2NO)

76
Senior Olberrmann, me llaman un trabajo.

Posted by: Telemundo, Bogota at October 25, 2012 09:18 PM (lDWQr)

Posted by: Tex Lovera at October 25, 2012 09:18 PM (j+44v)

78 Keith stands in front of a mirror everyday practicing, "Do you know who I am?!"

Posted by: eman at October 25, 2012 09:18 PM (+XD7n)

79 We could use some bean pickers down heah.

Posted by: Not an Artist at October 25, 2012 09:18 PM (uRumV)

80 Anyone know what Mark Levin keeps referring to when he says he knows for a fact that Olberman's a pervert?

Posted by: JLD at October 25, 2012 09:18 PM (hXE1O)

81 Does casting a wide net mean a man wearing white coat, chasing the Keefer down the hallway?

Posted by: GuyfromNH at October 25, 2012 09:18 PM (kbOju)

82 I hope he finds a job on tv. I wanna see him the night of Nov 6. I wanna see that smug, sanctimonious face when his boy gets taken out to the woodshed.

Posted by: BCochran1981 at October 25, 2012 09:18 PM (GEICT)

83 Hey! I missed you, Kay. May all your outbursts of crazy be similarly ... er, nonviolent.

Watch out for that storm though, seriously.

Posted by: boulder hobo at October 25, 2012 09:19 PM (QTHTd)

84 I grew up with a guy named Rachel. He grew to be 6'3" and 225 lbs. No one ever made fun of his name. That's why I can understand why that Rachel guy on MSNBC may have a hard go of it sometimes. He looks rather puny.

Posted by: Othered at October 25, 2012 09:19 PM (EuW9O)

85
I gave Keith a job, and he muffed it with his small dick.

Posted by: Laura Ingraham at October 25, 2012 09:20 PM (lDWQr)

86 Didn't one of the networks have Olby on as a panelist during Super Tuesday? I vaguely remember his ugly mug flashing across my screen as I quickly changed the channel.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Binder Hobbit and ABO supporter at October 25, 2012 09:20 PM (CA2NO)

87 We could use him to pass out towels and wipe up the private rooms.

Posted by: Turkish Bath Manager at October 25, 2012 09:20 PM (wR+pz)

88 You owe me a keyboard. No, really... I didn't find anything particularly funny, I just want a new keyboard.

Posted by: Moron in a Shuck & Jive Snuggie at October 25, 2012 09:20 PM (Ks4nX)

89 80 Anyone know what Mark Levin keeps referring to when he says he knows for a fact that Olberman's a pervert?

Common sense?

Posted by: BCochran1981 at October 25, 2012 09:20 PM (GEICT)

90 I'll give him $5 if he cleans my cats' litter boxes.

But they'd better be CLEAN.

Posted by: HeatherRadish™, Crankypants Extraordinaire at October 25, 2012 09:21 PM (hO8IJ)

91 That time Coulter busted his chops badly enough to make him show his diploma on TV was priceless.

Posted by: eman at October 25, 2012 09:21 PM (+XD7n)

92 I can see Keef on the corner at an interstate offramp in El Segundo, behind a cardboard box for a desk with the word "Countdown" scribbled in crayon on the front, with a soup can for a microphone, and a hat on the ground for people to throw in alms....

Posted by: Tex Lovera at October 25, 2012 09:21 PM (j+44v)

93 My idea, Kieth Olbermann and Gloria Allred should host a show together. Hell, even I would tune into that car wreck.

Posted by: Gregory of Yardale at October 25, 2012 09:21 PM (azHfB)

94 Great Moments in Olberdom

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GNpoJ8W53D8

Posted by: Jones in CO at October 25, 2012 09:22 PM (8sCoq)

95 Senator Keith Olbermann.....hmmmm.

Posted by: USS Diversity at October 25, 2012 09:22 PM (0CiTm)

96 Oberdumbass, here's a protip: snip off your shrivelled grapes, grow our your hair, and swallow estrogen pills regularly to qualify for a slot above Rachel.

Signed,
MSLSD

Posted by: Magilla Guerilla, Executive (D-Subsidy) at October 25, 2012 09:23 PM (I88Jc)

97 Hell, even I would tune into that car wreck.

Especially if there was a actual flaming car wreck involved.

Posted by: toby928© for TB at October 25, 2012 09:23 PM (QupBk)

98 Keith Olbermann for Dogcatcher!!!

Posted by: Tex Lovera at October 25, 2012 09:23 PM (j+44v)

99 So it's taken him this long to crawl out of the bathtub.

Posted by: nerdygirl at October 25, 2012 09:23 PM (VkBeZ)

100 You owe me a keyboard. No, really... I didn't find anything particularly funny, I just want a new keyboard.
Posted by: Moron in a Shuck & Jive Snuggie at October 25, 2012 09:20 PM (Ks4nX)

DAMMIT. Do you know what it's like to snort Canada Dry out your nose? That shit HURTS!

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Binder Hobbit and ABO supporter at October 25, 2012 09:23 PM (CA2NO)

101 80 Anyone know what Mark Levin keeps referring to when he says he knows for a fact that Olberman's a pervert?

I've got pictures of what he does to his rubber ducky when he's in his bathtub. Trust me, you don't want to know.

Posted by: Mark Levin at October 25, 2012 09:23 PM (/YJYi)

102 OK, so I picture Keith at his computer with the webcam on, using a free vidcast service every single night and when he's done he has puppets on his hands telling him, in high falsettos, how brilliant he was.

Posted by: AmishDude at October 25, 2012 09:23 PM (xSegX)

103 Remember when they put Matthews and Olbermann on the same election coverage special?

Wow, was that debacle.

Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at October 25, 2012 09:23 PM (BuSM8)

104
He should go back to Ag School and take up animal husbandry.

Posted by: HtP at October 25, 2012 09:24 PM (jx2j9)

105 I don't think Keith is hurting for money.

I think he needs the attention.

Of course, he is quite gifted, it could be both.

Posted by: eman at October 25, 2012 09:24 PM (+XD7n)

106 If I want a mouthy broad that costs me millions and leaves me unsatisfied......... I'd get married again.

Posted by: Les Moonves-CBS at October 25, 2012 09:24 PM (AzwZn)

107 Keith Olbermann, (gay) Porn Star.

Posted by: Mirror-Universe Mitt Romney at October 25, 2012 09:24 PM (SAA1o)

108 @101
He makes it 'squeak'...
but he doesn't use his HANDS!!

Posted by: JarvisW at October 25, 2012 09:24 PM (E7Iyp)

109 That guy on MSNBC named Rachel used to be a big time HighSchool Jock. I bet he used to be tough for his age back then, but he must of forgotten where the weight room is.

Oh BTW...did anyone notice that Lena Dunham has two Mommies & no Daddies? Its all starting to make sense now!

Posted by: Jimi at October 25, 2012 09:24 PM (6sLo8)

110 You think Roger Ailes will bite?

Posted by: Bart who lurks with SMOD 2012, master of his domain at October 25, 2012 09:24 PM (he2LC)

111 Keith Olberman Really Hates Subway

http://tinyurl.com/9v72jju

Posted by: Jones in CO at October 25, 2012 09:25 PM (8sCoq)

112 Is there a network smaller and more insignificant than Current that he can go to?

Maybe some 19 year old kid in his parents basement with a webcam can set him up with a job?

Posted by: nerdygirl at October 25, 2012 09:25 PM (VkBeZ)

113 LOL, this is such an uplifting thing to read about. Does my hard little heart good.

Posted by: Peaches is refreshingly hormone-neutral at October 25, 2012 09:26 PM (kpCLl)

114 Oh, what a perfect opportunity for an episode of "Punked".

Posted by: eman at October 25, 2012 09:26 PM (+XD7n)

115 I see Keith as Rupert Pupkin in a Broadway remake of "The King of Comedy."

Posted by: boniface ballers at October 25, 2012 09:26 PM (l3RZ9)

116 My idea, Kieth Olbermann and Gloria Allred should host a show together. Hell, even I would tune into that car wreck.
Posted by: Gregory of Yardale at October 25, 2012 09:21 PM (azHfB)

Put them in a car and send them cross country to experience "real America." The title: Ego Trip with ~~Keith and Gloria~~ ~~Gloria and Keith~~ ~~I get top billing, you bitch~~ ~~Fuck you, fatboy, I'm not the one who got fired by Al Gore~~ ~~YOU CAN'T TALK ABOUT THAT! IT'S IN MY CONTRACT, NO ONE'S ALLOWED TO TALK ABOUT THAT!~~ ~~Waaaaaah! Little baby gonna cry?~~ ~~I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU SO MUCH!~~.

I WOULD PAY SO MUCH MONEY FOR THAT.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Binder Hobbit and ABO supporter at October 25, 2012 09:27 PM (CA2NO)

117 Party on Dan!

Posted by: Keith Olbermann at October 25, 2012 09:27 PM (QupBk)

118 I know. He could go on Howard Stern in the role of stooge. You know, the butt of smutty jokes.

And yes, the word "butt" works on more than one level.

Posted by: nerdygirl at October 25, 2012 09:27 PM (VkBeZ)

119 "Keith's World! Excellent!"

Posted by: eman at October 25, 2012 09:27 PM (+XD7n)

120 Hannity is giving the beaner Gov. Richardson some heat on his show right now. Sununu is smashing the beaner too.

Posted by: Not an Artist at October 25, 2012 09:27 PM (uRumV)

121 Pound for pound, they didn't come any tougher than Rachel Maddow.

Posted by: Castro Valley H.S. Wrestling Coach at October 25, 2012 09:28 PM (AzwZn)

122 "beaner" is a pejorative. I prefer "wetback."

Posted by: Bart who lurks with SMOD 2012, master of his domain at October 25, 2012 09:28 PM (he2LC)

123 He should go back to Ag School and take up animal husbandry.

Or he could drive around farm country in search of un-locked barns.

Posted by: fluffy at October 25, 2012 09:29 PM (O6q63)

124 He should go back to Ag School and take up animal husbandry.
Posted by: HtP at October 25, 2012 09:24 PM (jx2j9)

He would single-handedly destroy the beef industry in this country, because even livestock wouldn't want to get frisky after being exposed to this small-dicked blowhard.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Binder Hobbit and ABO supporter at October 25, 2012 09:29 PM (CA2NO)

125 The best job for Keef would be a bathroom attendant.

Posted by: Jimi at October 25, 2012 09:29 PM (6sLo8)

126 This Mr.Spades fellow is the worst person in the world. Have you no shame, sir? You should wear a shirt with the word "fascist" printed on it. I have a degree from Cornell. What do you have besides a fascist t-shirt?

Posted by: Keith Olbermann at October 25, 2012 09:29 PM (yBF/9)

127 I could see Keef sharing a show on Fox with Juan Williams and Alan Colmes.

Posted by: Bart who lurks with SMOD 2012, master of his domain at October 25, 2012 09:30 PM (he2LC)

128 @116 MWR, I am crying here over your dialogue!

Posted by: Museisluse at October 25, 2012 09:30 PM (SsWgR)

129 If he gets on AMC, maybe he can to a few episodes of The Walking Dead, and be a recurring character as a zombie that the survivors kill every episode.

Posted by: Zombie Apocalypse at October 25, 2012 09:31 PM (Lpot3)

130 Queef, can you show us your cow-college diploma before we decide to grant you an interview?

Posted by: Peaches is refreshingly hormone-neutral at October 25, 2012 09:31 PM (kpCLl)

131 He would single-handedly destroy the beef industry in this country,

Mad Cow Disease is spread anally?

Posted by: Sean Bannion at October 25, 2012 09:31 PM (2V/vd)

132 Ace, I think you could have a lot of fun offering him a co-blogger spot.

Posted by: AmishDude at October 25, 2012 09:31 PM (xSegX)

133 I'd almost forgotten that Keef existed and haven't missed his presence at. all. this election season.

But I'm not completely heartless...times are tough for lots of folks...and I'd like to help the guy out.

Anyone got his mailing addy? I'd spring for a box of Mr. Bubble

Posted by: JeanQueenie at October 25, 2012 09:32 PM (Gmp2Z)

134 OMG "They killed Kenny!" refers to Keith Olbermann.

Posted by: Bart who lurks with SMOD 2012, master of his domain at October 25, 2012 09:32 PM (he2LC)

135 Our Bingo caller came down with strep throat.

Is Mr. Olbermann interested in Temp employment?

Posted by: Shady Acres Senior Center at October 25, 2012 09:32 PM (AzwZn)

136 I could see Keef sharing a show on Fox with Juan Williams and Alan Colmes.

Posted by: Bart who lurks with SMOD 2012, master of his domain at October 25, 2012 09:30 PM (he2LC)

The title?

Who's Got a Bomb Under His Seat?

It will have a total of three episodes.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Binder Hobbit and ABO supporter at October 25, 2012 09:32 PM (CA2NO)

137 He should go back to Ag School and take up animal husbandry.

Keep in mind that he majored in Communications at ag school. It's like majoring in math at Julliard.

Posted by: AmishDude at October 25, 2012 09:33 PM (xSegX)

138 Maybe Keffer should learn Spanish and go to work down in Venezuela.

Posted by: rabidfox at October 25, 2012 09:34 PM (bBiK6)

139 Several episodes. Bob Beckel would be brought in. Then Geraldo (Jerry Rivers) Rivera. Then that blonde Commie from Pepperdine.

Posted by: Bart who lurks with SMOD 2012, master of his domain at October 25, 2012 09:34 PM (he2LC)

140 He would single-handedly destroy the beef industry in this country,

Mad Cow Disease is spread anally?

Posted by: Sean Bannion at October 25, 2012 09:31 PM (2V/vd)

Ain't no cow gonna fess up about it. man.

Posted by: eman at October 25, 2012 09:36 PM (+XD7n)

141 If he gets on AMC, maybe he can to a few episodes of The Walking Dead, and be a recurring character as a zombie that the survivors kill every episode.
Posted by: Zombie Apocalypse at October 25, 2012 09:31 PM (Lpot3)

Better yet, he could play a really, REALLY whiny survivor; a guy who was a celebrity newscaster before the apocalypse. After two or three episodes, when the rest of the survivors are in a tight spot and desperate to escape, one of them can slit Keefum's Achilles tendons and toss him off the back of a truck to distract the ravening zombie horde.

His final words would be a long wail as the Walkers descend. "DO YOU KNOW WHO I AAAAAAAAAAAAM!"

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Binder Hobbit and ABO supporter at October 25, 2012 09:36 PM (CA2NO)

142 @136

Thats funny! But it would be better if Sarah Palin played the moderator like Blondie does for The Five. Those guys' head would explode in 3 episodes and the planet would be relieved of the ugliness they have to offer.

Posted by: Jimi at October 25, 2012 09:36 PM (6sLo8)

143 I guess it's not a "job" exactly, but if he needs money and screen time that badly, I'm sure someone is willing to sue him and have the case heard by Judge Judy. I'd kind of like to see that.

Posted by: Jenny Tries Too Hard at October 25, 2012 09:37 PM (IPG9V)

144 137 He should go back to Ag School and take up animal husbandry.Keep in mind that he majored in Communications at ag school. It's like majoring in math at Julliard.

Posted by: AmishDude at October 25, 2012 09:33 PM

Yes,Communications at Cornell.I can talk to the animals. What can you do? Fascist.

Posted by: Keith Olbermann at October 25, 2012 09:37 PM (yBF/9)

145 Venezuela? Yeah. Let him see what socialism is really like since he's no longer one of the elite celebrities. He could do a documentary on the ordianry life under a socialist dictator vs. the Sean Penn version.

Posted by: harleycowboy at October 25, 2012 09:37 PM (wSTfB)

146 Hannity is giving the beaner Gov. Richardson some heat on his show right now. Sununu is smashing the beaner too.
-------------------------------------

Beaner?

I don't care where you come from, when you extort your first million from contractors and lobbyists, you're All-American Baby!

Posted by: Scoop at October 25, 2012 09:37 PM (AzwZn)

147
Keith,

Thank you for your resume and audition tape. We currently have an opening for a night shift News Announcer, Level C. If you are interested, please contact Ms.Marlowe to arrange for an interview.

Sincerely,
Les Nessman

Posted by: WKRP FM at October 25, 2012 09:39 PM (zLp5I)

148 Ben Affleck is a total douche, but I loved it when he took Keef apart in a stinging skit on SNL:

http://tinyurl.com/2fmetlk

It's just way funnier when a total asshole is ridiculed by a simpering liberal cliche machine, than by a normal person. I don't know why.

Posted by: CausticConservative at October 25, 2012 09:39 PM (gT3jF)

149 Maybe some 19 year old kid in his parents basement with a webcam can set him up with a job?

We don't want him here. He most unexcellent.

Posted by: Wayne and Garth at October 25, 2012 09:39 PM (/izg2)

150 MWR at this rate isn't going to leave enough internetz for the rest of us

Posted by: boulder hobo at October 25, 2012 09:40 PM (QTHTd)

151 @143
lol he could be a permanent guest star, like Paul Lynne on Hollywood Squares..

Posted by: JarvisW at October 25, 2012 09:41 PM (E7Iyp)

152 136 I could see Keef sharing a show on Fox with Juan Williams and Alan Colmes.

Posted by: Bart who lurks with SMOD 2012, master of his domain at October 25, 2012 09:30 PM (he2LC)

The title?

Who's Got a Bomb Under His Seat?

It will have a total of three episodes.
Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Binder Hobbit and ABO supporter at October 25, 2012 09:32 PM (CA2NO)

No, it would have one episode. Because the answer to "Who's got a bomb under their chair?" would be "Everyone!"

Posted by: BCochran1981 at October 25, 2012 09:42 PM (GEICT)

153 @147
As God is my witness...
I thought turkeys could FLY!!

Posted by: Mr. Carrolson at October 25, 2012 09:42 PM (E7Iyp)

154 Here is how pathetic it will wind up.

Keith will wind up guest hosting on Dan Patrick's sports talk show. Once. And during that week, he will somehow manage to A) alienate the staff and B) alienate the audience and C) alienate Patrick, who by all accounts, is the last guy that will talk to him.

Posted by: Mallamutt, RINO President for Life at October 25, 2012 09:44 PM (OWjjx)

155 Queef, you silly twat, you know it's over. Just accept it . . . some people would call it "manning up," but that really doesn't apply in your case.

Posted by: Peaches is refreshingly hormone-neutral at October 25, 2012 09:45 PM (kpCLl)

156 Keefy, Buddy, do I have a job for you? No.

Posted by: Pecan Scandi at October 25, 2012 09:45 PM (P2wId)

157 MWR at this rate isn't going to leave enough internetz for the rest of us

I am DETERMINED to make it into the top ten commenters on AoSHQ this week!

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Binder Hobbit and ABO supporter at October 25, 2012 09:46 PM (CA2NO)

158 Maybe he could start speaking with that Fluke person to help Barry.

Posted by: ChristyBlinky, unbanned, ready to get this done at October 25, 2012 09:47 PM (baL2B)

159 MWR, you definitely deserve that (dubious) honor. You'd be a shoe-in if they ranked by quality instead of quantity, but that's is clearly never gonna happen.

Posted by: Peaches is refreshingly hormone-neutral at October 25, 2012 09:47 PM (kpCLl)

160 I'd hire him

Posted by: Assistant crack whore at October 25, 2012 09:49 PM (Y//vu)

161 Twat will tweet to twits.

Posted by: Jcw46 at October 25, 2012 09:51 PM (Vh0f5)

162 Maybe Keith can become Press Secretary for the Office of Former President of the United States.

Posted by: Mallamutt, RINO President for Life at October 25, 2012 09:56 PM (OWjjx)

163
Mr. Olbermann,

I'd like to thank you for your application for our third shift news announcer, Level C, and I have reviewed your intriguing ideas for the 2200-0600 shift. However, calling it the Keith Olbermann News Night will not work with our current format of contemporary music. Additionally, the pay rate of a Level C News announcer is $14.93 to $18.17, and as such, your request for $15.000,000.00 per year is not within the budgeted range for this position. Also, Ms. Marlowe wishes to remindyou that she has a restraining order against any further contact with her. Any further attempts to "interview" her will be met with the appropriate armed response.

We again thank you for your interest, and wish you the best of luck in your future endeavors outside of, and far fromthe States of Ohio and Kentucky. Please do not contact us ever again.

Andy Travis
General Manager WKRP FM
Cincinnati, Ohio

Posted by: WKRP FM at October 25, 2012 09:58 PM (zLp5I)

164 The Office of the President Eject.

Posted by: Bart who lurks with SMOD 2012, master of his domain at October 25, 2012 09:59 PM (he2LC)

165 Cornell University has given us Olbermann, Bill Maher, Bill Nye the Science Douche, Janet Reno, and Ruth Bader Ginsburg. Feel free to bomb this place for the betterment of the country, just give me a heads up if you could, so I can take a vacation day.

I still remember when Olbie played classic rock out of of a decrepit shack of a college radio station here.

Posted by: JLD at October 25, 2012 10:00 PM (QFv0T)

166 Dress him in a beaver costume and let him gueststar on Duck Dynasty.

Posted by: Old Glazier at October 25, 2012 10:02 PM (YGHl3)

167 Sham. Wow. Infomercials.

Posted by: @PurpAv at October 25, 2012 10:03 PM (s66sC)

168 Posted by: WKRP FM at October 25, 2012 09:58 PM (zLp5I)

you made beer squirt out of my nose!!!!

Posted by: Peaches is refreshingly hormone-neutral at October 25, 2012 10:04 PM (kpCLl)

169 >>>Will Special Comment for Food.

That's a damn good idea, and a dream job if you ask me. Imagine providing color commentary for Giada De Laurentiis' luscious, eh, dishes. Mmmmm.

Posted by: Fritz at October 25, 2012 10:04 PM (vm7ot)

170 If barky wins, and Kerry is the new SoS (over Hilz's dead body, cause she ain't going anywhere), then Queef could be Kerry's second in command at State. If (when) Mitt wins, PBS is gonna take Big Bird private and, who knows, the costume might be a perfect fit for that asshole.

Posted by: Peaches is refreshingly hormone-neutral at October 25, 2012 10:06 PM (kpCLl)

171 You're going to love my nuts!

Posted by: Keith Olbermann at October 25, 2012 10:06 PM (QupBk)

172 Maybe FOX could offer him a slot in order to insure their balance. I think they're one idiot short at the moment. They could put his sorry ass next to Krauthammer--a guaranteed comedy hit.

Posted by: Libra at October 25, 2012 10:09 PM (kd8U8)

173 Olberman on AMC would be awesome. When they do those little trivia pop-up bubbleson the movies he could provide rebuttals. Well, most them would just be him saying "I knew that".

Posted by: somebody else, not me at October 25, 2012 10:18 PM (nZvGM)

174 Posted by: WKRP FM at October 25, 2012 09:58 PM (zLp5I)

Bravo. Legen - wait for it - dary.

Posted by: somebody else, not me at October 25, 2012 10:22 PM (nZvGM)

175 Well, his appeal is becoming more selective.

Posted by: Jack_Not_M at October 25, 2012 10:52 PM (zgpYs)

176
"beaner" is a pejorative. I prefer "wetback."

Sorry, but those are racist pejoratives. I prefer the tone neutral 'undocumented anti-cracker'.

How's that for politically incorrect?

Posted by: sandman will resist at October 25, 2012 11:26 PM (zxaA2)

177 I can honestly say I had completely forgotten about that man until I saw this post.

Posted by: Ring at October 25, 2012 11:38 PM (iWnmm)

178 Burned too many bridges and need to find food... *yawnn*

Posted by: Aris at November 19, 2012 05:21 AM (u/Oey)

Processing 0.03, elapsed 0.0321 seconds.
15 queries taking 0.0114 seconds, 187 records returned.
Page size 83 kb.
Powered by Minx 0.7 alpha.