Chris Matthews: You Know Who Would Have Been a Rock-Star Senator? Me

Coulda been a contender.

In an article for the November Philadelphia Style magazine, a cocky Chris Matthews wistfully recounted a considered 2010 run for Senate, bragging at how incredible he would have been: "I'm not dreaming here. I would be one of the stars of the Democratic Party—there aren’t that many."

The liberal MSNBC anchor flirted with, but ultimately decided against, running in the Pennsylvania Democratic primary. Perhaps wondering what might have been, he lamented, "I know this: If I had run and won and beaten [Senator Pat] Toomey, I would be one of the Democrats people talk about today."

He also compares himself favorably with Barack Obama, noting that Obama doesn't have the street-smarts and instincts of... well, of a Chris Matthews.

That's not a direct quote, but that's what Matthews is getting at. He'd use his People Smarts to help bail out his wannabe husband Obama. See, Obama has the Book Smarts, but Matthews could have saved him by adding his own People Smarts.

You guys know what a "Mary Sue" is, right? If you don't, a "Mary Sue" is a character inserted into fanfic who is a thinly disguised version of the amateur author; the Mary Sue usually saves the hero. It's thus a wish fulfillment fantasy. The author wants to be important in the life of her imaginary hero, so she writes a silly story where she saves Bella, or Edward, or Jacob, or Spock. Or whoever.

What Matthews just described is a Mary Sue fantasy. He's just constructed a fanfic in which a character much like Chris Matthews, who is in fact also named Chris Matthews, bails Obama out of his troubles using his Street Smarts and Irish blarney in an alternate universe America of 2010-2012.

He is deranged.

Posted by: Ace at 07:29 PM



Comments

1 Suck more Obamacock Chris you fucking race baiting sucker of cocks.

Posted by: jeremiah Gosh Darn Amerikkka Ali Muhammad Surpra-izi Amin U'rbu T'hol wright at October 23, 2012 07:32 PM (ovpNn)

2 He'd fit right in.

Posted by: dogfish at October 23, 2012 07:32 PM (N2yhW)

3 Chris Mathews; loon or idiot?

Posted by: An Observation at October 23, 2012 07:33 PM (ylhEn)

4 Nah, Matthews in the Senate is nothing new, just the other end of Nero's horse, more or less.

Posted by: Popcorn at October 23, 2012 07:33 PM (uIpSF)

5 Chronic alcoholism is a bitch.

Posted by: dfbaskwill at October 23, 2012 07:33 PM (ndlFj)

6 Matthews would have been a third-rate dog catcher.

Posted by: Merovign, Dark Lord of the Sith at October 23, 2012 07:33 PM (bxiXv)

7 dude really needs to quit drinking

Posted by: Thunderb at October 23, 2012 07:33 PM (Dnbau)

8 Chronic alcoholism is a bitch.
Posted by: dfbaskwill at October 23, 2012 07:33 PM (ndlFj)

yeah but it' snot a barrier to service in the Senate

Posted by: Nevergiveup at October 23, 2012 07:33 PM (oSFWF)

9
Wow. That's spot on.

Posted by: MJ at October 23, 2012 07:34 PM (TR60b)

10 I think he might be deranged enough that if Obama loses, his tingly leg will stop working. Uniplegic?

Posted by: DarrenODaly at October 23, 2012 07:34 PM (ILhUm)

11 "He is deranged."


He is....stop giving him any bandwidth.

Posted by: Tami at October 23, 2012 07:34 PM (X6akg)

12 "I know this: If I had run and won and beaten [Senator Pat] Toomey, I would be one of the Democrats people talk about today."

Trust me Chrissy. We DO talk about you today. At about the same dirision level.

Posted by: rickb223 at October 23, 2012 07:34 PM (d0Dmj)

13 I guess Chrissy is just permanently drunk all the time. Beyond deranged. He needs to be committed to an insane asylum. Though I look forward to his meltdown...should be fun "must see" tv.

Posted by: Jim Scrummy at October 23, 2012 07:34 PM (y12hg)

14
Nah, Matthews in the Senate is nothing new, just the other end of Nero's horse, more or less.


Posted by: Popcorn at October 23, 2012 07:33 PM (uIpSF)
Caligula is the emperor with horse Senator

Posted by: Oldcat at October 23, 2012 07:34 PM (z1N6a)

15 Drunks Say The Darndest Things

Posted by: garrett at October 23, 2012 07:35 PM (PA6ZT)

16 Rock star in the sense that he'd have been just drunk and incoherent, which he pretty much is right now.

Posted by: Gmac at October 23, 2012 07:36 PM (IanLz)

17 It's safe to assume Chris was drunk when he said this.

Posted by: toby928© at October 23, 2012 07:37 PM (QupBk)

18 I know this: If Chrissy had been a senator, he would have been the middle slice of bread in a Big Mac-style drunk Irishman-waitress sandwich with Dodd and Kennedy (may they rot in Hell).

Posted by: jakeman at October 23, 2012 07:37 PM (96M6e)

19 Rock star in the sense that he'd have been just drunk and incoherent, which he pretty much is right now.

Posted by: Gmac at October 23, 2012 07:36 PM (IanLz)

He is holding up better than Stephen Tyler

Posted by: Oldcat at October 23, 2012 07:37 PM (z1N6a)

20 I'd be a good senator.

Posted by: Walter Mitty at October 23, 2012 07:37 PM (3SvjA)

21 my grandfather had a saying about the stages of drunks:

verbose

bellicose

morose

comotose

Chrissy is currently between stages one and two

Posted by: Thunderb at October 23, 2012 07:37 PM (Dnbau)

22 Remember when he was on Jeopardy and thought that he could turn a wrong answer into a right answer by saying it louder?

Posted by: Dave in Fla at October 23, 2012 07:37 PM (dX4hn)

23 comatose - oops

Posted by: Thunderb at October 23, 2012 07:37 PM (Dnbau)

24 hey I think the asshole is right. If he ever somehow got elected to the Senate, he probably would be a star in the Democratic Party as perverted and shit for brains they are

Posted by: Nevergiveup at October 23, 2012 07:37 PM (oSFWF)

25 Chris Matthews is a voice for progressive courage, and would have made a fine Senator. I hope our beloved President Obama, who I support completely, brings him more fully into government service in 2013 after his re-election.

Posted by: Mary Cloggenstein from Brattleboro, VT at October 23, 2012 07:38 PM (h9WhI)

26 I put MSNBC on after the first debate, it was fun watching Matthews fall apart. If Mitt wins Matthews is probably going to have a mental breakdown on the air.

Does anyone remember the senator in 2004 at the RNC convention who wanted to challenge Chrissy to a duel? I can't remember his name, but that was must see TV too.

Posted by: CarolT at October 23, 2012 07:39 PM (z4WKX)

27
>>"I'm not dreaming here. I would be one of the stars of the Democratic Party—there aren’t that many."

Seek help.

Posted by: Mama AJ, Binderette at October 23, 2012 07:39 PM (SUKHu)

28 I refuse to take Chris Matthews seriously until he drives in a drunken stupor off a New England bridge and drowns some MSNBC intern he has been diddling.

Credentials, people.

Posted by: George Orwell what knows where there's smoke, there's choom at October 23, 2012 07:39 PM (AZGON)

29 Before or after--the malaria?

Posted by: tasker at October 23, 2012 07:40 PM (r2PLg)

30 I could've been a real DICK!!!...hey wait a minute...

Posted by: Chrissy Mathews at October 23, 2012 07:40 PM (CfGGV)

31 Gosh Darn'it - People like me !

Posted by: Stuart Smalley at October 23, 2012 07:40 PM (XIsD/)

32 Obama is a stuttering clusterf*ck of a miserable failure.

Posted by: steevy at October 23, 2012 07:40 PM (6o4Fb)

33
"He is holding up better than Stephen Tyler"
Posted by: Oldcat

He has better makeup techs, Tyler probably doesn't give a damn.

Posted by: Gmac at October 23, 2012 07:40 PM (IanLz)

34 Just thinking about a Senator Matthews gives me tingles in my pee pee area.

Posted by: B. Hussein Obama at October 23, 2012 07:40 PM (kAYdl)

35 The thrill scrambled his peanut

Posted by: joethefatman™ (@joethefatman1) at October 23, 2012 07:40 PM (MnSla)

36 Hmmm. Maybe he thinks the nonsense spouting gig on Hardball is almost done?

Posted by: wth at October 23, 2012 07:40 PM (wAQA5)

37 I'll bet Chris goes to Furry conventions too.
You think he faps to Obama in a fox costume?

Yeah, me too.

Posted by: Clutch Cargo at October 23, 2012 07:40 PM (Qxdfp)

38 Not just credentials, Mr. Orwell: resume enhancement.

Posted by: jakeman at October 23, 2012 07:40 PM (96M6e)

39 If Jesse Junior is Ninja Dolomite, Chris Matthews would have been White Chocolate King Jesus. Their midnight battles in the Corridors of Justice would have been the stuff of legend.

Posted by: Max Power at October 23, 2012 07:40 PM (q177U)

40 "I'm not dreaming here. I would be one of the stars of the Democratic Party—there aren’t that many."


-- I'm not sure he's wrong there ... Which is quite sad for the party of Andrew Jackson.

Posted by: gm at October 23, 2012 07:41 PM (/kBoL)

41
"he came close to becoming a candidate for Arlen Specter’s seat..."





Yes -- so we've heard.

Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at October 23, 2012 07:41 PM (kdS6q)

42 America already had a Senator Chris Matthews.

He just was named ted Kennedy.

Posted by: logprof at October 23, 2012 07:41 PM (jKE+Z)

43 Actually, run Chris run. Please. Anywhere. Anywhere competent will reject you. Anywhere incompetent already has incompetent representation.

It would be delightful.

Posted by: Al at October 23, 2012 07:41 PM (aOAEM)

44 ...man, I can relate!!!...I could've been a helluva Supreme Court Justice!!!

Posted by: JoJo Biden at October 23, 2012 07:41 PM (CfGGV)

45 With Hillary and Al Franken getting in, is there no doubt that substance abusing, unstable people are always viable candidates for Democrat senators?

Posted by: meh at October 23, 2012 07:41 PM (W2qJe)

46
Chrissy no doubt loved it...when Barky mentioned him in his jokes last week at that white-tie dinner.

What struck me, is that it didn't even seem to matter that it was an open admission of Mathew's blatant bias.

So now, Chrissy is going from idolizing Barky...to thinking that he could be as big of a 'star' as Barky is?
Well, he's got the ego for it.

Posted by: wheatie at October 23, 2012 07:41 PM (ipkPX)

47 bragging at how incredible he would have been: "I'm not dreaming here. I would be one of the stars of the Democratic Party—there aren’t that many."

_____________________

Actually I have to agree with Matthews here.

Al Franken.

I rest my case.

Posted by: tasker at October 23, 2012 07:41 PM (r2PLg)

48 I have to say that I do believe that the gin-pickled Dutch boy does have more street smarts than Golden Urkel.

Posted by: Alec Leamas at October 23, 2012 07:42 PM (auPSv)

49 Does anyone remember the senator in 2004 at the RNC convention who
wanted to challenge Chrissy to a duel? I can't remember his name, but
that was must see TV too.


That was Zell Miller, (D)-GA.

Posted by: TH at October 23, 2012 07:42 PM (AprKJ)

50 Ok, so that thread died so I'll repost it here cause I think its pretty relevant.

Well isn't this special.

>>""I don't have any memory of what she is referring to," Romney would later declare, "although I certainly can't say it could not have been me." It became the patterned Romney response to other conflicted moments in his life (the bullying of a classmate in prep school was a similar incident). Mormon feminists came up with a term for Romney's calculated lack of memory: "Romnesia."

http://tinyurl.com/d5v9con

I guess we know where that stupid term came from and that Obama is up to his ass in this hit from Allred.

Posted by: JackStraw at October 23, 2012 07:42 PM (TMB3S)

51 ...and when I came into the Oval Offith, he thad there at hith dethk. Tall, dark, handthome, the prethident of my dreamth. I walked over to him, behind hith chair. He wath abthorbed in hith reading. I put my handth on hith thoulderth

'Hello, Barack'....

Posted by: Chrith Methuthe at October 23, 2012 07:42 PM (FcLSx)

52 He is deranged Twankversatile.

FIFY, ace.

Posted by: jakeman at October 23, 2012 07:42 PM (96M6e)

53 This magazine just jumped the shark. They put Matthews on the COVER. Of a STYLE magazine! I almost fell over when I saw it last week.

Posted by: rockmom at October 23, 2012 07:42 PM (qe2/V)

54 Does anyone remember the senator in 2004 at the RNC convention who wanted to challenge Chrissy to a duel? I can't remember his name, but that was must see TV too.
Posted by: CarolT at October 23, 2012 07:39 PM (z4WKX)

Zell Miller?

Posted by: Thunderb at October 23, 2012 07:42 PM (Dnbau)

55 if Chris was half as smart, he'd be a half wit

Posted by: the Butcher at October 23, 2012 07:42 PM (8g9qq)

56 At least it isn't Barack Obama slashfic

Posted by: El Kabong at October 23, 2012 07:42 PM (HAsYI)

57 I really don't want to know what type of slash fan-fiction Matthews writes...

*shudder*

Posted by: The Political Hat at October 23, 2012 07:43 PM (XvHmy)

58 Oh! You mean like Van Johnson would be a good CNN political analyst. Comedy sometimes escapes me.

Posted by: HtP at October 23, 2012 07:43 PM (jx2j9)

59 5 Chronic alcoholism is a bitch.

I think it's when you start adding Xanax and Ambien into the mix that it really starts to get problematic.

Posted by: Clutch Cargo at October 23, 2012 07:43 PM (Qxdfp)

60 Gotta admit...

Sometimes I have own Mary Sue fantasies. Seriously.

Sometimes I daydream where, through my own innovative ideas and determination, I save the GOP and the Tea Party from nany state liberlism and deliver widespread victories at the polls.

Posted by: Serious Cat at October 23, 2012 07:43 PM (zrpqj)

61 hey I think the asshole is right. If he ever somehow
got elected to the Senate, he probably would be a star in the
Democratic Party as perverted and shit for brains they are

Posted by: Nevergiveup at October 23, 2012 07:37 PM (oSFWF)

Nah, they'd shove him right to the back of the short bus. Without his TV show, he's nothing. Idiocy and loudness aren't hard to find in the Dem party.

Posted by: Oldcat at October 23, 2012 07:43 PM (z1N6a)

62 Give him some credit. Yes, he is deranged (no argument there, right?), but "...I would be one of the Democrats people talk about today..."? He's already accomplished that, hasn't he, without ever needing to become a Senator?

He's one of those lucky few who grew up to be exactly what he wanted to be. Just, in his case, that isn't a good thing.

Posted by: Keith Arnold at October 23, 2012 07:43 PM (Jdtsu)

63 ...As the smoke cleared , and the bodies of the Rethuglicans stopped twitching I turned - and found his brown eyes staring at me. It was as if he had never seen a man before. "Uh, uh Chris?" he said softly , " Let me be clear uh, uh I want you to uh, put your uh, inside ..." .

"Don't say another word, my beautiful black stallion..."

Next week : Michelle runs off with Jeremiah Wright.... and We Finally Get Married !

- Twisted Chrissie's Tortured Wish Diary

Posted by: C. Matthews at October 23, 2012 07:43 PM (EZl54)

64
What Matthews just described is a Mary Sue fantasy. He's just
constructed a fanfic in which a character much like Chris Matthews, who
is in fact also named Chris Matthews, bails Obama out of his troubles
using his Street Smarts and Irish blarney in an alternate universe
America of 2010-2012.


He is deranged.

"You CAN change Washington from the inside, you just need MEEEE!"
Devastating, Ace. Holy shit. Several large drums of Awesome were burned to produce this pithy encapsulation.

Posted by: lauraw at October 23, 2012 07:44 PM (DbybK)

65 Don't know if this has been thrown out there...Michael Mann is filing suit against NRO, Steyn, and CEI. Discovery will be a fun.

Posted by: Jim Scrummy at October 23, 2012 07:44 PM (y12hg)

66
Well if we are comparing ourselves to obama, then hell, I could have been a great president.

Flat tax, serious spending cuts on bs like pbs, etc, and the educ dept and on and on. I would have been grrrrrrrrrrreat!

Posted by: Guy Mohawk at October 23, 2012 07:44 PM (PHb2k)

67 Matthews: I'm not dreaming here. I would be one of the stars of the Democratic Party—there aren’t that many.

That party has hundreds of members in Congress who, like Matthews, see themselves as big fish in a small pool.

Matthews would be a tiny tingle-berry in that cesspool

Posted by: boulder hobo at October 23, 2012 07:44 PM (QTHTd)

68 It would have been pretty satisfying to see Toomey cream Chris Matthews in the Senate race of 2010. We could have had the Matthews implosion two years early and avoided his blathering nonsense of the past two years.

Posted by: DangerGirl (@deadlyestrogen) at October 23, 2012 07:44 PM (GrtrJ)

69 Isn't there a better piece of shit asshole we could discuss?

Posted by: USS Diversity at October 23, 2012 07:44 PM (0CiTm)

70 Don't know if this has been thrown out there...Michael Mann is filing suit against NRO, Steyn, and CEI. Discovery will be a fun.


Posted by: Jim Scrummy at October 23, 2012 07:44 PM (y12hg)

What did Stein say about Miami Vice now?

Posted by: Oldcat at October 23, 2012 07:45 PM (z1N6a)

71 Matthews is a tingling clusterf*ck of a delusional drunk.

Posted by: Mama AJ, Binderette at October 23, 2012 07:45 PM (SUKHu)

72 "I would be one of the stars of the Democratic (sic) Party"

You already are. You and pretty much everyone else in the Media.

Posted by: Mirror-Universe Mitt Romney at October 23, 2012 07:45 PM (lddO4)

73 Al Franken would have company.

Check the trunk for a win!

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, stealing time on B'Gal's computer at October 23, 2012 07:45 PM (lOmbq)

74 to see Toomey cream Chris Matthews

Eyebleach warning, DangerGirl!

Posted by: jakeman at October 23, 2012 07:45 PM (96M6e)

75 Seriously. Somebody in Philly must have pics of soft sissy Chrissy in full blown prep school gear, including short pants and beanie. So sick of his Rocky routine.

Posted by: Old Glazier at October 23, 2012 07:45 PM (YGHl3)

76

Look, if you've ever been around Chris, you'd realize that were talking about a man CLEARLY not playing with a full deck.

I was on his show, and let me tell you, underneath his desk, there must be ten fifteen completely empty bottles of the cheapest scotch you've ever seen. I like scotch a lot, it's a good drink, but he takes it too far. Too far. In fact, it's a pity, it's low and ridiculous. A man should not be representing himself in that manner.

He drinks because he has a mouth, that's about it. Has nothing in the world to do with his being Irish, or whatever the hell he is.

Posted by: Rev Dr E Don Trump at October 23, 2012 07:46 PM (ApGOC)

77 I could have been an architect.

Posted by: George Costanza at October 23, 2012 07:46 PM (PA6ZT)

78 Well, being a stupid and demented liar and fuckweasel didn't keep Pat Leahy out of the Senate. Nor did being a massive drunken douche bar Teddy Kennedy's path. So why shouldn't little Chrissy dare to dream?

Posted by: Stu-22 at October 23, 2012 07:46 PM (k4bdL)

79 Coulter referred to Obama as a retard. As soon as I finish rolling around the floor, laughing my ass off at all of the hyper outraged asshat reactions, I'll say how insensitive she is.

Posted by: HtP at October 23, 2012 07:46 PM (jx2j9)

80 "If I had run and won and beaten [Senator Pat] Toomey, I would be one of the Democrats people talk about today."

Yep. You'd be more famous than Stalin.

Posted by: Mirror-Universe Mitt Romney at October 23, 2012 07:46 PM (lddO4)

81 Here's a profile of Chris Matthews by the NYT magazine in 2008 - http://nyti.ms/Vn9MHc

It was supposed to be a puff piece but it ends up being unintentionally devastating and paints Matthews as an insecure blowhard who's always been something of a politician jock-sniffer.

Posted by: Mætenloch at October 23, 2012 07:46 PM (pAlYe)

82 How old is Matthews? I seem to recall him doing a really funny character sketch with Ruth Buzzi on a park bench.

Posted by: George Orwell what knows where there's smoke, there's choom at October 23, 2012 07:47 PM (AZGON)

83 - Twisted Chrissie's Tortured Wish Diary

I'm going to rock back and forth in semi-fetal position for a bit.

Posted by: fluffy at October 23, 2012 07:47 PM (3SvjA)

84 I would have killed it in the debates wingnuts! Water? Fuck water, you better put four or five glasses of vodka out there, I do my best work when I'm sauced.

Posted by: Chrissy Matthews at October 23, 2012 07:47 PM (/YJYi)

85 "...I would be one of the Democrats people talk about today."

You already are, Chris. Those people pointing and laughing aren't just in your DT hallucinations.

Posted by: somebody else, not me at October 23, 2012 07:47 PM (nZvGM)

86 Well if we are comparing ourselves to obama, then hell, I could have been a great president.

Flat tax, serious spending cuts on bs like pbs, etc, and the educ dept and on and on. I would have been grrrrrrrrrrreat!


Posted by: Guy Mohawk at October 23, 2012 07:44 PM (PHb2k)

My plan is to send people with paintball guns into every office in the government. Anyone they can tag, gets fired.

Posted by: Oldcat at October 23, 2012 07:48 PM (z1N6a)

87 This is truly sad.
I am reminded of a story in Heinlein's "Time Enough For Love" as told by Lazarus Long. I paraphrase because I can't remember precisely, but the gist is this.
I met this little, tiny lizard who claimed that he was part T-Rex on his mother's side. I did not have the heart to contradict him. There are those people who truly have nothing but their dreams for themselves and what they could have been. It costs me nothing to indulge their fantasy. But it sure is sad.

Somewhere in the honest part of whatever soul his has left, Chris Matthews knows that he could have become so much better than he has. The christian in me cries a little.

The asshole in me laughs.

Posted by: RKinRoanoke at October 23, 2012 07:48 PM (pxur/)

88
O/T (you're welcome):

My mom lives outside of ABQ and said that when she saw an Obama campaign sign the other day, it actually startled her. As in, she hadn't seen any until then...

Posted by: Mama AJ, Binderette at October 23, 2012 07:48 PM (SUKHu)

89
Maybe Barky was married *before* he was married to Michelle?

I just read that Mail article...
The tweet that started all this...from Douglas Kass, friend of Trump...doesn't mention Michelle.
It just says:

"...he has unearthed divorce papers between the Prez and his wife."

No mention of Michelle.
People have just 'assumed' that that is who he was referring to.

Posted by: wheatie at October 23, 2012 07:48 PM (ipkPX)

90 Isn't there a better piece of shit asshole we could discuss?
Posted by: USS Diversity at October 23, 2012 07:44 PM (0CiTm)

I don't think there is shitier more assholy piece of shit than Chris Matthews, but by all means make a suggestion.

Posted by: Max Power at October 23, 2012 07:48 PM (q177U)

91 Eyebleach warning, DangerGirl!

Posted by: jakeman at October 23, 2012 07:45 PM (96M6e)



Sorry, sorry...a poor choice of phrase...

Posted by: DangerGirl (@deadlyestrogen) at October 23, 2012 07:48 PM (GrtrJ)

92 http://tinyurl.com/9teepsu

State GOP Files Complaint Against Obama Campaigners At CSU

Posted by: Evilpens at October 23, 2012 07:48 PM (ck76k)

93 I wrote a fanfic once where I teamed up with Hermione, T'Pol and Black Widow to have lots of sex.

Posted by: El Kabong at October 23, 2012 07:48 PM (HAsYI)

94 In, no, when, Mitt wins, Chrissy and the presstitutes are going to be very sad. No WH parties for at least 8 if not 16 years. That's a long time.

Posted by: eureka! at October 23, 2012 07:48 PM (cTjRR)

95 This tells you how bad Tingles knows it is ! he is losing what little mind he had to begin with

Posted by: Evilpens at October 23, 2012 07:49 PM (ck76k)

96 Hearing Matthews talk about his Senate run consideration reminds me about the NBA career I passed up. I mean, who needs to be tall? Or even average height? Or able to jump? I should have just done it--I'd be one of the stars people talk about today.

Posted by: A. at October 23, 2012 07:49 PM (9K72i)

97 There was also that NFL quarterback slot I turned down....

Posted by: A. at October 23, 2012 07:50 PM (9K72i)

98 Ace, didn't you just describe all "elite" libs who are supporting Obama? I mean they are either in fantasyland where they think they can save their hero, or their hero is really themselves anyway... they are a sad, delusional, hateful lot.

Posted by: flicka47 at October 23, 2012 07:50 PM (uZ7vL)

99 GAaaCK!!

Posted by: Paladin at October 23, 2012 07:51 PM (HuzS0)

100 I wrote a fanfic once where I teamed up with Hermione, T'Pol and Black Widow to have lots of sex.

And I'd rather read that, than anything Matthews has to say.

Posted by: boulder hobo at October 23, 2012 07:51 PM (QTHTd)

101 You probably didn't know Matthews was a Star Trek fan. For a while every week he would send me fanfiction where he rescued me from a mugato or a Gorn or sometimes he just rewrote an old episode and put himself in my yeoman's place.

Usually under the sheets.

After reading those, I couldn't sleep without posting a red shirt outside my cabin door.

Posted by: James Tiberius Kirk at October 23, 2012 07:51 PM (AZGON)

102 89

No state would have had gaymarriage back then.




And Indonesia and Pakistan certainly don't.

Posted by: Mirror-Universe Mitt Romney at October 23, 2012 07:51 PM (lddO4)

103 Sen. Chris Matthews
Senator Christopher Matthews
The Distinguished Senator Chris Matthews
Sen. Christopher Matthews
Sen. Chris Matthews (D-PA)
Senate Majority Leader Chris Matthews
Senator C. Matthews
Matthews Obama, Private Investigations Inc.
The Distinguished Gentleman from Pennsylvania, Sen. Chris Matthews

Posted by: Chris Matthews Pee-Chee Scribblings at October 23, 2012 07:52 PM (+lsX1)

104 full retard, in an Anne Coulter kind of way?

Posted by: eoin at October 23, 2012 07:52 PM (165P0)

105 Instead he's just a c*nt.

Posted by: MythicalMeganBanger at October 23, 2012 07:53 PM (lIh1y)

106 I miss the shows when he had Norah O'Donnell as a guest and he stared at her boobs while asking her questions. And while she answered.

Posted by: Haz at October 23, 2012 07:53 PM (Ky8vU)

107 This Mary Sue is a bitch.

Posted by: Mary Jane Rottencrotch at October 23, 2012 07:53 PM (sGtiM)

108 I once wrote a Mary Sue fanfic where I fucked my way out of the center of a super-orgy to rescue a limp-dicked Peter North.

Brothers do that for brothers, you know?

Posted by: Truman North at October 23, 2012 07:53 PM (OpEhC)

109
Well Barky did wear his stupid muzzie ring on the wedding finger for a long time before he married Mooch.

Or maybe its an Oedipus Rex thing with his mama.

At this point, I just want him leaving on a helicopter Jan. 20th.

Posted by: Guy Mohawk at October 23, 2012 07:53 PM (PHb2k)

110 I look forward to Chris telling us about the Nobel
Prize-winning idea in Physics or Medicine he was sure would have been in him if he hadn't sacrificed himself to pursuing the common good instead....

Posted by: A. at October 23, 2012 07:53 PM (9K72i)

111 103

Chris Obama, samesex partner.

Posted by: Mirror-Universe Mitt Romney at October 23, 2012 07:54 PM (lddO4)

112 well Chris, i guess you would fit in as a Dem senator, as you don't give a flying leap about 300+ dead mexicans or millions of laid off workers , dead ambassadors or boarder guards.

yes why don't you run?

Posted by: willow at October 23, 2012 07:54 PM (hX8cq)

113 "I would be one of the Democrats people talk about today."

People talk about you anyway Chrissy.

Posted by: slug at October 23, 2012 07:54 PM (vVv3V)

114 But then I thought: Why run for the god damn Thenate when you can run for the Prethidenthy in 2016? That offithe ith made for my threet-thmarth!

Posted by: Chrith Methtooth at October 23, 2012 07:54 PM (FcLSx)

115 in fact Chris, you have lying to the public down pat.

Posted by: willow at October 23, 2012 07:55 PM (hX8cq)

116 The author wants to be important in the life of her imaginary hero, so she writes a silly story where she saves Bella, or Edward, or Jacob, or Spock. Or whoever.

One of these is not like the others--

Oh gawd Ace writes fan fic.

Posted by: tasker at October 23, 2012 07:55 PM (r2PLg)

117 I'm sure he laments the Tony Awards he could have had if only he had kept up those singing lessons....

Posted by: A. at October 23, 2012 07:55 PM (9K72i)

118 Uptwinkle uptwinkle little star...how I

Posted by: Occupies at October 23, 2012 07:55 PM (Y//vu)

119 107

Sort of like you, Herbert.

Posted by: Mirror-Universe Mitt Romney at October 23, 2012 07:55 PM (lddO4)

120 I do hope Chris isn't one of the 1 percenters that makes over 250 k

Posted by: willow at October 23, 2012 07:56 PM (hX8cq)

121 He wanted to run for senate so he could get more alone time with Obama.

Posted by: Sho Nuff at October 23, 2012 07:56 PM (jo0fs)

122 What does it mean if you have these weird red bumps all around your bung hole? It probably doesn't help that I like to play with it all the time, but I can't stop.

Posted by: Mary Jane Rottencrotch at October 23, 2012 07:56 PM (/YJYi)

123
Once upon a dark and stormy night, I finally got the Open Blogger password and courageously started slashing dead blogs from the blog roll at Ace of Spades.

I then began working on the Great Ampersand Restoration.

To Be Continued...

Posted by: Mama AJ, Author at October 23, 2012 07:56 PM (SUKHu)

124
Anyone point out the inherent racism of a big fat white guy coming to the rescue of the poor black man?

It's like Avatar, but without the subtlety.

Posted by: El Kabong at October 23, 2012 07:57 PM (HAsYI)

125 I wish this post about Chris Matthews had come with a label: "Warning: May contain Chris Matthews".

Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at October 23, 2012 07:57 PM (BuSM8)

126 >>>... but what we didn’t see was someone who didn’t have the necessary skills as a backroom deal maker."

Let's make a deal, Chris. Tails, I win, heads, I win. Deal?

Posted by: Fritz at October 23, 2012 07:57 PM (vm7ot)

127 Mama AJ, Author: I then began working on the Great Ampersand Restoration.

Well done. Collect your internet at the checkout window

Posted by: boulder hobo at October 23, 2012 07:58 PM (QTHTd)

128 I understand Matthews was going to take off two years to pursue an U.S. Olympic Team slot in the shotput, but felt he was needed more where he was.

He figured he would have been a bronze medal contender at the least...

Posted by: A. at October 23, 2012 07:58 PM (9K72i)

129 126

Obama has a lot of "backroom" experience.

Posted by: Mirror-Universe Mitt Romney at October 23, 2012 07:58 PM (lddO4)

130
Every once in a while I accidentally click on the blog roll and I usually get something like their last post was november 22, 2007.

Posted by: Guy Mohawk at October 23, 2012 07:59 PM (PHb2k)

131 You should have done it, Chris. I hear 2010 was a good year for Democrats.

Posted by: slug at October 23, 2012 07:59 PM (vVv3V)

132 Guy got malaria years ago and has gotten more unhinged every year- really think that has something to do with it.
I won't even bother watching him if Mitt wins because it will just be all about racism...and drooling.

Posted by: jjshaka at October 23, 2012 08:00 PM (uX1kX)

133 Seriously! How long can you let your Brain sit in Vodka

Posted by: Evilpens at October 23, 2012 08:00 PM (ck76k)

134 imagine the other senators having to buy cases of Kleenex to wipe off the spittle any time he spoke of those folks in flyover country.

Posted by: willow at October 23, 2012 08:00 PM (hX8cq)

135 In my fanfic I'm actually attractive and men want to be with me for more than just an easy lay.

Posted by: Sandy Fluke at October 23, 2012 08:00 PM (jKE+Z)

136 I would be one of the stars of the Democratic Party

ummm, as a democrat tinkles....ah no

Posted by: navycopjoe has an iphone5 and you don't at October 23, 2012 08:00 PM (xsTuT)

137 Oh gawd Ace writes fan fic.


fanfic titles cribbed from Ace's hard drive

The Empire Strikes Back Tenderly
Full Moon Over Endor
Tender Is The Jedi Knight
The Battle Of Ewok Bush
Jar Jar And The Tender Vittles
A Love Larger Than The Emperor
Anakin And The Tender Lesson

Posted by: George Orwell what knows George Lucas will ruin your life at October 23, 2012 08:00 PM (AZGON)

138 They were so close to realizing their dream of transforming this country into a socialist paradise (and silencing, by any means necessary, the right wing haters). Greedy and controlling, they couldn't wait to truly redistribute other people's wealth and ban gun ownership for everyone but the State. Self-hating, they couldn't wait to turn the other cheek to the violent jihadists and anyone else who despises America.

And it's slipping away. Matthews is the face of a movement dying.

Posted by: kathysaysso at October 23, 2012 08:01 PM (ZtwUX)

139 Nice. "I'm completely unbiased, but I would have made a hell of a Democratic senator."

Posted by: Whoever this is, it's definitely not Michael at October 23, 2012 08:01 PM (JVCVF)

140 full retard, in an Anne Coulter kind of way?
Posted by: eoin at October 23, 2012 07:52


Aww. No one's taking your bait.

Frowny face for the concerned.

Posted by: weft cut-loop at October 23, 2012 08:01 PM (DKxu1)

141 Tender Is The Jedi Knight


I've read that. Hell, I've probably written it as some point.



Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD. Coming soon. at October 23, 2012 08:01 PM (Gk3SS)

142 Sandra Fluke's working on a fanfic where she speaks to more than 15 people at a Whole Foods checkout line.

Posted by: El Kabong at October 23, 2012 08:01 PM (HAsYI)

143 The Empire Strikes Back Tenderly
Full Moon Over Endor
Tender Is The Jedi Knight
The Battle Of Ewok Bush
Jar Jar And The Tender Vittles
A Love Larger Than The Emperor
Anakin And The Tender Lesson

Posted by: George Orwell what knows George Lucas will ruin your life at October 23, 2012 08:00 PM (AZGON)

The Lion, The Witch, and Rubio's Trashcan

Posted by: logprof at October 23, 2012 08:02 PM (jKE+Z)

144
Chapter Two Outline:

Ace is trapped by a rough backup script running at 8:12am Eastern. I throw myself into the hamster cage to save him...

Posted by: Mama AJ, Author at October 23, 2012 08:02 PM (SUKHu)

145 Chris has some self esteem issues. Trying to channel the Chicago Jesus but can't quite put his finger on that elusive quality that makes his savior so simply dreamy.

Posted by: Tuna at October 23, 2012 08:02 PM (M/TDA)

146 It's 6 pm m.s.t., which is trollin' time for me, so -

Speaking of fandom / fanfics, here's EL James: "you can't just hijack something someone else owns".

No, srsly: http://www.journalfen.net/community/fandom_wank/1288676.html

Posted by: boulder hobo at October 23, 2012 08:02 PM (QTHTd)

147 ...I would be one of the Democrats people talk about today."

***

Darn tootin!

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at October 23, 2012 08:03 PM (piMMO)

148 137 Oh gawd Ace writes fan fic.


fanfic titles cribbed from Ace's hard drive

The Empire Strikes Back Tenderly
Full Moon Over Endor
Tender Is The Jedi Knight
The Battle Of Ewok Bush
Jar Jar And The Tender Vittles
A Love Larger Than The Emperor
Anakin And The Tender Lesson
Posted by: George Orwell what knows George Lucas will ruin your life at October 23, 2012 08:00 PM (AZGON)

____________________

omg--I'm choking--

AIR!

Posted by: tasker at October 23, 2012 08:03 PM (r2PLg)

149 Chris Mathews; loon or idiot?

****

Both

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at October 23, 2012 08:03 PM (piMMO)

150 Speaking of fandom / fanfics, here's EL James: "you can't just hijack something someone else owns".

No, srsly: http://www.journalfen.net/community/fandom_wank/1288676.html

Posted by: boulder hobo at October 23, 2012 08:02 PM (QTHTd)

--Who is EL James?

Posted by: logprof at October 23, 2012 08:03 PM (jKE+Z)

151 143
Fifty Shades of Tender

Posted by: Tuna at October 23, 2012 08:04 PM (M/TDA)

152 How Deep is Your Endor?

Posted by: tasker at October 23, 2012 08:04 PM (r2PLg)

153 Matthews is the ultimate Catholic school twerp. I'm sure I took his milk money more than once.

Posted by: MCPO Airdale at October 23, 2012 08:05 PM (tYaDf)

154 If you want to be a real political star, you have to have a hook - a trademark like a catchphrase or some kind of stylistic flair. Like Traficant with his unkempt hair or Reid with his penchant for molestation or Biden with his hilarious retard routine. I think Chris Matthews could pull off the "street tough" act maybe with a newsboy hat set at a jaunty angle and a wallet chain. That could work.

Posted by: Gristle Encased Head at October 23, 2012 08:05 PM (+lsX1)

155 The Lion, The Witch, and Rubio's Trashcan

Marco and Wicket: Master and Commander

Posted by: George Orwell what knows George Lucas will ruin your life at October 23, 2012 08:05 PM (AZGON)

156 Chris Matthews is the Rupert Pupkin of political punditry.

Posted by: Nventor at October 23, 2012 08:06 PM (+yL85)

157 My Little Yoda.

Posted by: tasker at October 23, 2012 08:06 PM (r2PLg)

158 154 Traficant's hair isn't "unkempt",it's a dead squirrel.

Posted by: steevy at October 23, 2012 08:06 PM (6o4Fb)

159 Just a minute ago, Obama reached a low of 56.4 on Intrade.

Posted by: Serious Cat at October 23, 2012 08:06 PM (zrpqj)

160 logprof: EL James is only the best author ever. Seriously, I suggest buying all her books and keeping them at the office

Posted by: boulder hobo at October 23, 2012 08:06 PM (QTHTd)

161 If.

Somewhere, Aaron Sorkin is taking notes.

Posted by: BuddyPC at October 23, 2012 08:07 PM (jfUIE)

162 oh shit. Is greg here touting Drudge's world poll results?

Posted by: California Red at October 23, 2012 08:07 PM (DXTKe)

163 153

Yep, Matthews loves the Pope and the Magisterium. Catechism makes him tingle all over.

Posted by: Mirror-Universe Mitt Romney at October 23, 2012 08:08 PM (lddO4)

164 I Know Why the Ewok Sings.

Posted by: tasker at October 23, 2012 08:08 PM (r2PLg)

165
Matthews would be hopeless in the senate. No one would tolerate his screaming yelling, bullying, schtick there. They would just have the capital police drag him away.

Posted by: Redd at October 23, 2012 08:09 PM (RoEtU)

166 La Cocina

Posted by: George Costanza at October 23, 2012 08:09 PM (PA6ZT)

167 Midnight in the Garbage of Rubio and Ewok

Posted by: wooga at October 23, 2012 08:09 PM (vjyZP)

168 @137, I'm thinking about taking my brain to the laundromat. Stranger's fabric softener is probably better for me.

Posted by: Thorvald at October 23, 2012 08:09 PM (1V6Pv)

169 160 logprof: EL James is only the best author ever. Seriously, I suggest buying all her books and keeping them at the office

Posted by: boulder hobo at October 23, 2012 08:06 PM (QTHTd)

--Ah, rings a bell: Children of Men?

Posted by: logprof at October 23, 2012 08:10 PM (jKE+Z)

170 I used to watch Mathews, until i realized how much He hated half the country.
o well.

Posted by: willow at October 23, 2012 08:10 PM (hX8cq)

171 166 I saw that,off off off Broadway.

Posted by: steevy at October 23, 2012 08:10 PM (6o4Fb)

172 162 oh shit. Is greg here touting Drudge's world poll results?

Is he? That would be, oh, what's the word I am looking for?

Oh, yes.

Deranged.

Posted by: Sean Bannion at October 23, 2012 08:10 PM (aXADB)

173 164 I Know Why the Ewok Gurgles.

Posted by: tasker at October 23, 2012 08:08 PM (r2PLg)

Fixed it for you.

Posted by: Serious Cat at October 23, 2012 08:10 PM (zrpqj)

174 The Boston Herald just endorsed Romney.

Posted by: Tattoo De Plane at October 23, 2012 08:10 PM (i0vBR)

175 other Ace fanfic:

Tropic of Capricorn One
Endor Forrest Gump
Tenderbirds Are Go
Star Trek: The Sext Generation

Posted by: George Orwell what knows George Lucas will ruin your life at October 23, 2012 08:10 PM (AZGON)

176 It may not be anything big, but Live Action is going to drop another investigative video tomorrow.

Posted by: Lauren at October 23, 2012 08:11 PM (wsGWu)

177 OReally is smarter than Krauthammmer and Romney? I don't think so go back to wherever ya came from ya big effn fat head. OReally is unhinged as inSHannity

Posted by: ConcealedKerry or SubMitt at October 23, 2012 08:11 PM (cKZal)

178 Tender is the Loin

Posted by: Tuna at October 23, 2012 08:11 PM (M/TDA)

179 Wow, Andy Power Glutes is going all in at The Daily Beast.

From a sad, disheveled, foreign, dope smoking, cockholster to a sad, desperate, foreign dope smoking cockholster at the speed of queef.


Posted by: Portnoy at October 23, 2012 08:11 PM (A5Abh)

180
"I know this: If I had run and won and beaten [Senator Pat] Toomey, I would be one of the Democrats people talk about today."

Chris, we talk about Jimmy Carter.

Just sayin'.

Posted by: Jay Guevara at October 23, 2012 08:11 PM (U+DUu)

181 "Tell me that you love me, Jar Jar Binks"?

Posted by: RKinRoanoke at October 23, 2012 08:11 PM (pxur/)

182 Blame it onNaboo

Posted by: garrett at October 23, 2012 08:12 PM (PA6ZT)

183 I suppose he fashions himself the next great liberal lion of the Senate. One that smells like vomit and gin. Just like the last one.

Posted by: Wonkish Rogue at October 23, 2012 08:12 PM (WItBr)

184 177

inSHannity.

You sir, are a genius.

Posted by: Mirror-Universe Mitt Romney at October 23, 2012 08:12 PM (lddO4)

185 Chris Matthews is almost certainly on meds. If he is not, he should be.

I suspect the medicated percentage of those in the media is higher than the population at large, BTW.

Posted by: Nicholas Kronos at October 23, 2012 08:13 PM (vouc9)

186 The Ewok Always Rings Twice

Posted by: Beto at October 23, 2012 08:13 PM (BAnPT)

187 The Postman Returns Twice

Posted by: Jcw46 at October 23, 2012 08:13 PM (Vh0f5)

188 AoSHQ Presents ...

BODY DOUBLE POST

Posted by: weft cut-loop at October 23, 2012 08:13 PM (DKxu1)

189 Wicket Of Arabia

Posted by: Beto at October 23, 2012 08:14 PM (BAnPT)

190 From a sad, disheveled, foreign, dope smoking, cockholster to a sad, desperate, foreign dope smoking cockholster at the speed of queef.

Speed of queef????

Then there must be a "queef constant."

And I don't even want to think about what that might be.

Posted by: Sean Bannion at October 23, 2012 08:14 PM (aXADB)

191 You forgot ace's Firefly fan fiction,Our Mrs Reynolds Falls for an Ewok.

Posted by: steevy at October 23, 2012 08:14 PM (6o4Fb)

192 HAT'S OFF TO A MARK LEVIN SHOW CALLER! "The debates made it evident that we have one candidate that wants the job of president ... and one candidate that wants the title and trappings."

Posted by: Evilpens at October 23, 2012 08:14 PM (ck76k)

193 Why not? Alan Grayson got elected.

Posted by: spidly at October 23, 2012 08:14 PM (HZymj)

194 Beto. Yours is better.

Posted by: Jcw46 at October 23, 2012 08:14 PM (Vh0f5)

195 I actually agree that he would have been a star of the Democratic party.

Posted by: SamIam at October 23, 2012 08:14 PM (VDpzM)

196 thanks

Posted by: Beto at October 23, 2012 08:15 PM (BAnPT)

197 Chris Matthews stars as Robin in "The Dark Knight Rises"

Posted by: RKinRoanoke at October 23, 2012 08:15 PM (pxur/)

198 Well, Matthews is clean and articulate. Oh, wait. No he's not. He's typically a drooling drunk. Nevermind.

Posted by: AnonymousDrivel at October 23, 2012 08:15 PM (eHIJJ)

199 The queef constant is the square root times pi time the taint.

Posted by: Jcw46 at October 23, 2012 08:15 PM (Vh0f5)

200 Hey guys. Heads up. Dads on OReily right now.

Posted by: Dubbs at October 23, 2012 08:15 PM (zrpqj)

201 Chewbacca: My Secret Garden

Posted by: tasker at October 23, 2012 08:15 PM (r2PLg)

202 Indiana Jones and the Temple of Poon

Posted by: George Orwell what knows George Lucas will ruin your life at October 23, 2012 08:15 PM (AZGON)

203 Deep Inside Tasha Yar

Posted by: garrett at October 23, 2012 08:15 PM (PA6ZT)

204 There was an old man from Somerton
Who did love Obama like a son
with a special tingle
by a complete dingle
Now they're expecting another son.

Posted by: Al at October 23, 2012 08:16 PM (aOAEM)

205 The Wind and the Wookie

Posted by: Beto at October 23, 2012 08:16 PM (BAnPT)

206 dammit.....my internet is going all wicky whack

Posted by: kawfytawk at October 23, 2012 08:16 PM (JWLqy)

207 O/T - after Allen West wins, can we make him Sec Def anyway?

Posted by: RKinRoanoke at October 23, 2012 08:16 PM (pxur/)

208 197
"The Dark Knight Rises"? I'm getting a tingle.

Posted by: Tuna at October 23, 2012 08:16 PM (M/TDA)

209 Speaking of fandom / fanfics, here's EL James: "you can't just hijack something someone else owns".



No, srsly: http://www.journalfen.net/community/fandom_wank/1288676.html




Oh that is priceless.


If you don't know why, it's because 50 Shade of Grey started out as a Twilight fanfic. Speaking of Mary Sues, Twilight is pretty much the ultimate Mary Sue since the entire thing is based on a dream that Stephanie Meyer had.

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD. Coming soon. at October 23, 2012 08:17 PM (Gk3SS)

210 Nar Shaddaa Nights

Posted by: Jcw46 at October 23, 2012 08:17 PM (Vh0f5)

211 I think Tingles has contracted West Nile Virus.

Posted by: AnonymousDrivel at October 23, 2012 08:18 PM (eHIJJ)

212 after Allen West wins, can we make him Sec Def anyway?

We need to put some of the fiercest fighters in -State- and the intelligence services.

Posted by: Al at October 23, 2012 08:18 PM (aOAEM)

213 All Quiet on the Wookie Front

Posted by: Beto at October 23, 2012 08:19 PM (BAnPT)

214 Scat on a Hot Tin Roof

Posted by: garrett at October 23, 2012 08:19 PM (PA6ZT)

215
Dare I say, the Presiduncey?

Posted by: Hedley Lamarr at October 23, 2012 08:19 PM (khZbv)

216 A forty foot douche nozzle needs to be inserted into the State Department and the bag squeezed.

Posted by: Jcw46 at October 23, 2012 08:19 PM (Vh0f5)

217 I wouldn't be surprised if Chris Matthews has a Predator drone circling his position so he can watch his own awesomeness in real time.

He certainly should be eligible for some sort of award.

Posted by: dr kill at October 23, 2012 08:19 PM (ufLRj)

218 Gray is a Many Shaded Thing

Posted by: Tuna at October 23, 2012 08:19 PM (M/TDA)

219 A Farewell to Arms (because the Wookie ripped them off)

Posted by: Beto at October 23, 2012 08:20 PM (BAnPT)

220 30 Seconds Over Beggars Canyon

Posted by: Jcw46 at October 23, 2012 08:20 PM (Vh0f5)

221 Mr Kenobi Goes to Washington

Posted by: Beto at October 23, 2012 08:21 PM (BAnPT)

222 Full Metal Cape

Posted by: Jcw46 at October 23, 2012 08:21 PM (Vh0f5)

223 208 - That's what I am here for.
Tingle bells, Tingle Bells
It's time to rise like a flag pole.

TIng-a-ling
Feel me ting

I've got obam-a in my butt hole.

Posted by: RKinRoanoke at October 23, 2012 08:21 PM (pxur/)

224 The Grapes of Wookie Wrath

Posted by: Beto at October 23, 2012 08:21 PM (BAnPT)

225 Thunderb-Thank you, that was his name, Zell Miller! Carol

Posted by: CarolT at October 23, 2012 08:22 PM (z4WKX)

226 Citizen Kenobi

Posted by: Beto at October 23, 2012 08:22 PM (BAnPT)

227 It is with some incredulity that I say.....

BOR is an even bigger schmuck than usual tonight.

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at October 23, 2012 08:22 PM (piMMO)

228 I would have been an awesome Senator. No, really.
I drink like a fish, won't compromise my ethics unless it benefits my off shore accounts, would have been happy to tutor some of those young Senate Pages and know how to use my left side to it's advantage in pictures.

Posted by: mare at October 23, 2012 08:23 PM (A98Xu)

229 assorted fanfic on Frank Herbert

Whorehouse Harkonnen
The Man in the Grey Flannel Stillsuit
The Bongwater of Life
God-Emperor of Poon

Posted by: George Orwell what knows George Lucas will ruin your life at October 23, 2012 08:23 PM (AZGON)

230 The Maltese Millennium Falcon

Posted by: Beto at October 23, 2012 08:23 PM (BAnPT)

231 I Robot sex slave

Posted by: Beto at October 23, 2012 08:24 PM (BAnPT)

232 Chapter House Sith

Posted by: Jcw46 at October 23, 2012 08:24 PM (Vh0f5)

233 Tom Cruise and Chris Matthews in a remake of "Rain Man"

"Gay Men"

Too obvious, yea, maybe.

Obama plays the dad, who joins in.

Posted by: RKinRoanoke at October 23, 2012 08:24 PM (pxur/)

234 BOR and, earlier, John Gibson, just weren't e n t e r t a i n e d (insert whine).

That's one of the things that's fucking wrong with this world today: Everyone feels that everyone and everything is there to serve them.

Dane monkeys, dance!

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at October 23, 2012 08:24 PM (piMMO)

235 Sounds like . . .

http://www.bullyonline.org/workbully/serial.htm

. . . Chris Matthews.

Posted by: dissent555 at October 23, 2012 08:25 PM (yR6A1)

236 All My Bene Gesserit Bitchez

Posted by: tasker at October 23, 2012 08:25 PM (r2PLg)

237 Wookie Side Story

Posted by: Beto at October 23, 2012 08:25 PM (BAnPT)

238 The Bishop always flogs twice.

Posted by: 98ZJUSMC in Johnson County laughing at Cook County at October 23, 2012 08:25 PM (THZLX)

239 Then there must be a "queef constant."



And I don't even want to think about what that might be.

Posted by: Sean Bannion at October 23, 2012 08:14 PM (aXADB)

Pretty sure, in Bald Fat Fuck Sullivan's case, there's corn or peanuts involved.

Posted by: Portnoy at October 23, 2012 08:25 PM (A5Abh)

240 Heretics of Tattoine

Posted by: Jcw46 at October 23, 2012 08:25 PM (Vh0f5)

241 Debbie Does Dune

Posted by: Beto at October 23, 2012 08:25 PM (BAnPT)

242
Financial Apocalypse Now

For a Few Dollars More

Posted by: Jay Guevara at October 23, 2012 08:26 PM (U+DUu)

243 Alderan Nights

Posted by: Beto at October 23, 2012 08:26 PM (BAnPT)

244 I sing the Deathstar Electric.

Posted by: 98ZJUSMC in Johnson County laughing at Cook County at October 23, 2012 08:26 PM (THZLX)

245 Butt Love in the Time of Cholera

Posted by: garrett at October 23, 2012 08:26 PM (PA6ZT)

246 in Bald Fat Fuck Sullivan's case, there's corn or peanuts involved

Otherwise known as "elementary particles."

Posted by: George Orwell what knows George Lucas will ruin your life at October 23, 2012 08:26 PM (AZGON)

247 The latter stages of Syphilis are not pretty. Let's send our best thoughts to Chris and his phamily.

Posted by: Dr. jukin OBGYN at October 23, 2012 08:27 PM (WGm5T)

248 The Milagro Beanfield Whore

Posted by: George Orwell what knows George Lucas will ruin your life at October 23, 2012 08:27 PM (AZGON)

249 Star Trek IIIa: The Search For Pointy Elbows

Posted by: BCochran1981 at October 23, 2012 08:27 PM (GEICT)

250 Two Ewok, One Cup

Posted by: garrett at October 23, 2012 08:27 PM (PA6ZT)

251 O'Reilly smarter than the Kraut? Seriously?

Posted by: Adam at October 23, 2012 08:27 PM (/YJYi)

252 The Sands of Tattooine Jima.

Posted by: 98ZJUSMC in Johnson County laughing at Cook County at October 23, 2012 08:27 PM (THZLX)

253
It's been so long since Chris Marthews was on my screen for longer than a millisecond that I have forgotten what he said to piss me up one side and down the other.

Posted by: Justamom in Achin' Akin's district at October 23, 2012 08:28 PM (Sptt8)

254 The Smeagol Has Landed

Posted by: George Orwell what knows George Lucas will ruin your life at October 23, 2012 08:28 PM (AZGON)

255 Otherwise known as "elementary particles."

Posted by: George Orwell what knows George Lucas will ruin your life at October 23, 2012 08:26 PM (AZGON)

That would be "alimentary particles"

Posted by: Jcw46 at October 23, 2012 08:28 PM (Vh0f5)

256 I, Fapbot.

Posted by: 98ZJUSMC in Johnson County laughing at Cook County at October 23, 2012 08:28 PM (THZLX)

257 1461 strikes aaaannnd yeeerrrr ....... Out !

Posted by: theUmp at October 23, 2012 08:29 PM (dvLAs)

258 Don't want West to leave the House. We need as many good guys there as we can get.

Posted by: Memememe at October 23, 2012 08:29 PM (VhQTe)

259 Harry Potter and the Knobgobbler of Fire

Posted by: George Orwell what knows George Lucas will ruin your life at October 23, 2012 08:29 PM (AZGON)

260 To Kill an AT-AT

Posted by: Jcw46 at October 23, 2012 08:29 PM (Vh0f5)

261
Raging Bull(shit)

Lie Hard

Posted by: Jay Guevara at October 23, 2012 08:30 PM (U+DUu)

262 That would be "alimentary particles"

They may be responsible for an explosive chain reaction.

Posted by: George Orwell what knows George Lucas will ruin your life at October 23, 2012 08:30 PM (AZGON)

263 Batman: My Night in Tights

Posted by: tasker at October 23, 2012 08:30 PM (r2PLg)

264 Robin Must DIE! : Or How I Became Bat Boy!

Posted by: tasker at October 23, 2012 08:31 PM (r2PLg)

265 Sisterhood of the Metal Bikini

Posted by: T. Hunter at October 23, 2012 08:32 PM (EZl54)

266 Two Moons Over Uranus

Posted by: Jcw46 at October 23, 2012 08:32 PM (Vh0f5)

267
Can I, without outing anyone, relate what happened to a friend of a friend of a friend today?

This friend's friend's friend was examining a patient who is a TSA agent. Only time he has ever seen Gohnarrea, chlamydia, syphilis and yeast at the same time. He told her she needed to do a better job screening.

Eeeww.

Posted by: Justamom in Achin' Akin's district at October 23, 2012 08:32 PM (Sptt8)

268 Where the Borgs Are

Posted by: garrett at October 23, 2012 08:32 PM (PA6ZT)

269 Use the Force : a tale of bondage

Posted by: T. Hunter at October 23, 2012 08:33 PM (EZl54)

270 Smegma Wars

Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at October 23, 2012 08:33 PM (BuSM8)

271 OT But Funny as FUCK

http://tinyurl.com/8jb5dl8


Celebs react to the final presidential debate

Posted by: Evilpens at October 23, 2012 08:33 PM (ck76k)

272 Comment 63 wins one (1) Internet. Allen G. will handle prize distribution.

Posted by: Ian S. at October 23, 2012 08:34 PM (rPA5/)

273 The left is cracking up...Chrissy talking to himself in the mirror, Barry in a corner crying, Michelle on the verge of divorce...let the cascade begin!

Posted by: Mayday at October 23, 2012 08:34 PM (F3s39)

274 Top Sith

Posted by: Jcw46 at October 23, 2012 08:34 PM (Vh0f5)

275 OT:

Just got this mass panic e-mail from an ex-girlfriend. I think SCOAMF knows he's going to lose Ohio. Anyway it sounds like a crock of shit but the Dems are desperate and what they lose at the polls they will try and steal in the courts:


Dear Friend,

If this year's presidential election comes down to the electoral votes in Ohio, the deciding votes could be cast on electronic voting machines manufactured by a company - Hart Intercivic - with deep financial ties to the Romney family.

Hart Intercivic is majority owned by H.I.G. Capital which controls two of the five seats on the Hart Intercivic board. An investment fund with deep ties to the Romney family and the Mitt Romney for president campaign, H.I.G. Capital was founded by Tony Tamer, a major bundler for the Romney campaign, and it is one of the largest partners of Solamere Capital, an investment fund founded by Tagg Romney and Spencer Zwick, Mitt Romney's chief fundraiser from the 2008 presidential campaign. This makes the Romney family part owner of the voting machine company, through it's interest in H.I.G. Capital.
A 2007 study conducted by Ohio's Secretary of State showed that Hart Intercivic's touch screen voting machines could be easily corrupted.

I just signed a petition telling the Department of Justice to not let Republicans steal the election in Ohio with Romney-owned voting machines. Click on the link below to find out more and sign the petition.
http://act.credoaction.com/campaign/romney_ohio/?r_by=49254-3341427-_tX461x&rc=paste1

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at October 23, 2012 08:34 PM (+tqYo)

276 D.M. Hawkins @HawkinsUSA
So, still going with 47% and Romnesia today... #Uhh

Posted by: Evilpens at October 23, 2012 08:34 PM (ck76k)

277 "16 Rock star in the sense that he'd have been just drunk and incoherent, which he pretty much is right now.
Posted by: Gmac"

Think "Spinal Tap".

Posted by: nerdygirl at October 23, 2012 08:34 PM (P7Eiq)

278 Allen G. will handle prize distribution.

Which you can find linked to his nick.

Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at October 23, 2012 08:34 PM (BuSM8)

279 I was a Droid War Bride.

Posted by: 98ZJUSMC in Johnson County laughing at Cook County at October 23, 2012 08:35 PM (THZLX)

280 Slightly traumatized. Searching around imdb for movies to spoof and what shows up in a search? A Japanese film titled Groper Train: The Search for the Black Pearl. And the cover pic is a close up of some guys hand inside the underwear of a Japanese girl on the train.

Posted by: BCochran1981 at October 23, 2012 08:35 PM (GEICT)

281 Dane monkeys, dance!
Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at October 23, 2012 08:24 PM (piMMO)


Whoa!! You might want to step back, look 'pon rosy yesteryear ...The Danes shall not dance...nay!!! Not for a tuppence of piss.

Posted by: Hamlet Bitch!! at October 23, 2012 08:36 PM (A5Abh)

282
Only time he has ever seen Gohnarrea, chlamydia, syphilis and yeast at the same time
----
And generally a poor attitude toward the female of the species?

Posted by: Gunny Highway at October 23, 2012 08:36 PM (0CiTm)

283 Blazing X-Wings

Posted by: Jcw46 at October 23, 2012 08:36 PM (Vh0f5)

284

Dumbo called. He wants his ears back.

Posted by: soothsayer at October 23, 2012 08:37 PM (80Qb8)

285 Matthews is nothing but a blowhard. A treasonous, traitorous, communist, fucking blowhard.

Posted by: LGoPs at October 23, 2012 08:37 PM (BJVEF)

286 Rick Wilson @TheRickWilson
WHOA: RT @rcmahoney: HUGE crowd for @MittRomney at Red Rocks in #Colorado. twitpic.com/b6umfu #COPolitics #enthusiasm

Posted by: Evilpens at October 23, 2012 08:38 PM (ck76k)

287
If this year's presidential election comes down to the electoral votes in Ohio, the deciding votes could be cast on electronic voting machines manufactured by a company - Hart Intercivic - with deep financial ties to the Romney family.

+++
COOL!

Posted by: USS Diversity at October 23, 2012 08:38 PM (0CiTm)

288 Notice how Obama ball-tickler Tom Hanks isn't leading by example?

Hanks lives in a $26 million Pacific Palisades mansion. He could sell that house...........move into a still-very-nice $1 million home, and then use the $25 million in profits to send poor children to college! You know, the "Hanks grant" instead of the Pell grant.

But no, that's what greedy-ass, guilt-ridden Hollywood liberals call"giving until it hurts too much to take seriously".

So Hanks latches on to a distributist like Obama to assuage his guilt. You see, Hanks REALLY wants to help...........so the very BEST thing he can do is support a guy who will FORCE all Americans to help.......without taking too much of a bite out of Hanks' sweet cherry pie.

Fuck you Tom Hanks.

Posted by: Holla Fa Yo Dolla at October 23, 2012 08:38 PM (AzwZn)

289
Slightly traumatized. Searching around imdb for movies to spoof and what
shows up in a search? A Japanese film titled Groper Train: The Search
for the Black Pearl.



Uh. Huh. Just completely showed up all random like. Uh. Huh.

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD. Coming soon. at October 23, 2012 08:39 PM (Gk3SS)

290 MSNBC = One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest

And they ain't takin' their meds.

Posted by: Hepcat at October 23, 2012 08:39 PM (frbyY)

291
The Lying Game

Posted by: Hedley Lamarr at October 23, 2012 08:40 PM (khZbv)

292 A Japanese film titled Groper Train: The Search
for the Black Pearl.


Gloria Allred will reveal Romney directed it.

Posted by: George Orwell what knows George Lucas will ruin your life at October 23, 2012 08:40 PM (AZGON)

293 287 Posted by: USS Diversity at October 23, 2012 08:38 PM (0CiTm)

You know, I wanted to tell my ex, "Diane, Ohio is the least of Obama's problems. He's going to Lose CO, NH, VA, NC, FL and probably WI and MI. So Ohio won't matter even if he did steal it."

Heh!

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at October 23, 2012 08:41 PM (+tqYo)

294 286
Rick Wilson @TheRickWilson

WHOA: RT @rcmahoney: HUGE crowd for @MittRomney at Red Rocks in #Colorado. twitpic.com/b6umfu #COPolitics #enthusiasm

Posted by: Evilpens at October 23, 2012 08:38 PM (ck76k)


Jeebus....look at the crowd!


http://tinyurl.com/9bo9xhf

Posted by: Tami at October 23, 2012 08:41 PM (X6akg)

295 A Japanese film titled Groper Train: The Search
for the Black Pearl.


Crap. Not available on NetFlix.

Posted by: toby928© at October 23, 2012 08:42 PM (QupBk)

296 http://tinyurl.com/8j2keac


Obama Has Massive Lead in Global Poll

Posted by: Evilpens at October 23, 2012 08:43 PM (ck76k)

297 "...I would be one of the Democrats people talk about today."

Sorry, Chris, but "Laugh At" and "Talk About" are not the same thing.

Posted by: RoadRunner at October 23, 2012 08:43 PM (7k6lh)

298 Things that make you go hmmmm.

Pakistan favored Romney over Obama.

Posted by: Jcw46 at October 23, 2012 08:44 PM (Vh0f5)

299 Wow, this is an aspect of the Obama worship I hadn't considered. He's a projection for the press he's what they think they'd be in that place, he's their substitute they live through vicariously. He's the guy that thinks and talks like them that they think they'd be if they were only given the chance.

This is just... pathetic.

Posted by: Christopher Taylor at October 23, 2012 08:45 PM (r4wIV)

300 55.8... New low for O. on Intrade.

Posted by: Serious Cat at October 23, 2012 08:45 PM (zrpqj)

301 Also notice they left off a lot of countries.

Can you say Cherry Picking?

I knew you could.

Posted by: Jcw46 at October 23, 2012 08:45 PM (Vh0f5)

302 http://tinyurl.com/9bo9xhf

Clearly just a clone tool photoshopped fabrication. Unlike those authentic papers my crack commando staff recovered from the underground Masonic lair in Crawford, Texas. It was touch and go for a while, but disguised as jihadi cowpunchers we infiltrated the harsh Texan Kush and made journalism history.

I'm Dan Rather.

Courage.

Posted by: Dan Rather at October 23, 2012 08:46 PM (AZGON)

303 AoSHQ Presents...

THE WICKET MAN

Posted by: weft cut-loop at October 23, 2012 08:46 PM (DKxu1)

304 Did anyone see the story of the woman who claimed she was attacked and set on fire by 3 KKK members?



@TwitchyTeam: Update: Police say La. woman who claimed KKK hate crime attack set herself on fire


http://tinyurl.com/93w4fac

Posted by: Tami at October 23, 2012 08:46 PM (X6akg)

305 http://tinyurl.com/9sswjxy

Awesome Crowd in Nevada

Posted by: Evilpens at October 23, 2012 08:47 PM (ck76k)

306 Let Me Put My Bantha Inside You

Posted by: T. Hunter at October 23, 2012 08:47 PM (EZl54)

307
If this year's presidential election comes down to the electoral votes in Ohio, the deciding votes could be cast on electronic voting machines manufactured by a company - Hart Intercivic - with deep financial ties to the Romney family.


Again with this voting machine horseshit? How retarded are these people? Even if Romney owned every goddamned machine, do they think he'd be writing code to massage the results? Jesus, they're stupid.

Posted by: Jay Guevara at October 23, 2012 08:47 PM (U+DUu)

308 oh shut up gerg.

Posted by: Jcw46 at October 23, 2012 08:47 PM (Vh0f5)

309 289 Uh. Huh. Just completely showed up all random like. Uh. Huh.
Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD. Coming soon. at October 23, 2012 08:39 PM (Gk3SS)



How did I KNOW you would be the first to comment?



295 A Japanese film titled Groper Train: The Search
for the Black Pearl.

Crap. Not available on NetFlix.
Posted by: toby928© at October 23, 2012 08:42 PM (QupBk)



Not gonna lie, that's the first thing I did too.

Posted by: BCochran1981 at October 23, 2012 08:47 PM (GEICT)

310 Pakistan favored Romney over Obama.

I don't think the swarm of drones over there is making any friends. Those people live in basically constant terror that they'll get a hellfire up the tailpipe. They don't know what's going on, they don't get the memo. Its just they hear that motor buzzing around then one day that guy Ahsim from down the street explodes.

Posted by: Christopher Taylor at October 23, 2012 08:48 PM (r4wIV)

311 Obama Has Massive Lead in Global Poll
--
They can have him.

No need to wait until 1/20/13, he'll be free 2 weeks from about...this exact moment.

Posted by: Mayday at October 23, 2012 08:48 PM (F3s39)

312 Yah all a buncha preverts.

Posted by: Jcw46 at October 23, 2012 08:48 PM (Vh0f5)

313 Hey Greg, I'm advocating for you to suck on a gun barrel.

Posted by: I denounce myself at October 23, 2012 08:48 PM (N5aMf)

314 The best line in this piece is the final one, and it also serves as an accurate evaluation of the MFM at large as well.

Posted by: ontherocks at October 23, 2012 08:49 PM (aZ6ew)

315 How did I KNOW you would be the first to comment?






Because of the awesome.


Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD. Coming soon. at October 23, 2012 08:49 PM (Gk3SS)

316 Did anyone see the story of the woman who claimed she was attacked and set on fire by 3 KKK members?
Posted by: Tami


Yeah, we're wise to that play now.

Skepticism: Is there anything it can't do?

Posted by: weft cut-loop at October 23, 2012 08:49 PM (DKxu1)

317 Even if Romney owned every goddamned machine

He does. Ask Mary Mapes. This is more solid than a cinder block in a San Antonio jail.

I'm Dan Rather.

Courage.

Posted by: Dan Rather at October 23, 2012 08:49 PM (AZGON)

318 Police say La. woman who claimed KKK hate crime attack set herself on fire

When was the last valid "hate" crime you've heard of? I mean, really, when was the last one? When that dude was dragged behind a truck in Texas?

Posted by: Christopher Taylor at October 23, 2012 08:49 PM (r4wIV)

319 Again with this voting machine horseshit? How retarded are these people? Even if Romney owned every goddamned machine, do they think he'd be writing code to massage the results? Jesus, they're stupid.
--

Can you imagine how dialed up the crazy is going to be in about 12 more days?

Posted by: Mayday at October 23, 2012 08:49 PM (F3s39)

320
Here's a clue, commie retards. If owning a voting machine company gave you an "in" to massaging results, don't you think that that worthless cocksucker George Soros would pony up to buy a company?

Of course he would, comrades. People this stupid should vote on Wednesdays.

Posted by: Jay Guevara at October 23, 2012 08:50 PM (U+DUu)

321 ONT up.

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD. Coming soon. at October 23, 2012 08:51 PM (Gk3SS)

322
Pakistan favored Romney over Obama.
====

Because he says it right.

Posted by: USS Diversity at October 23, 2012 08:51 PM (0CiTm)

323 Barack Back Mountain

Posted by: C. Matthews at October 23, 2012 08:52 PM (EZl54)

324 Can you imagine how dialed up the crazy is going to be in about 12 more days?

Honestly? No. Every time I think I've got a measure of how loopy they are, they surprise me. You can't parody these guys. They're beyond the event horizon of satire.

Posted by: Christopher Taylor at October 23, 2012 08:52 PM (r4wIV)

325 When was the last valid "hate" crime you've heard of? I mean, really, when was the last one? When that dude was dragged behind a truck in Texas?
Posted by: Christopher Taylor at October 23, 2012 08:49 PM (r4wIV)


I think it was the leftists who beat the crap out of a guy who had a Romney sign in his yard in Wisconsin a few days ago.

Posted by: Merovign, Dark Lord of the Sith at October 23, 2012 08:53 PM (bxiXv)

326 I think it was the leftists who beat the crap out of a guy who had a Romney sign in his yard in Wisconsin a few days ago.

Yeah but that doesn't fit their definition. Its not a valid hate crime if it A) happens to a white guy and B) happens to a Republican/Christian/conservative.

Posted by: Christopher Taylor at October 23, 2012 08:54 PM (r4wIV)

327 I assume Chris Matthews well end up in a cell adjacent to Andrew Sullivan's in Arkham.

Posted by: BeckoningChasm at October 23, 2012 08:57 PM (i0App)

328 NBC floating the idea that the Ohio machines are rigged.

My new AR arrives Thursday.

Can't think of better timing.

Posted by: RWC at October 23, 2012 08:58 PM (t+Sdx)

329 This thread will not be complete until Captain Hate posts a "Countdown to detox...." summary.

Posted by: Wonkish Rogue at October 23, 2012 08:58 PM (WItBr)

330 Looks like it's gonna be another all-troll ONT (sigh).

Posted by: Merovign, Dark Lord of the Sith at October 23, 2012 08:59 PM (bxiXv)

331 Yeah well people just cannot seem to bite that bait.

Posted by: Christopher Taylor at October 23, 2012 09:02 PM (r4wIV)

332 The easiest part of this whole meltdown for the Left is the rest of the country's admission there was no "there" there.

The best will be the recrimination when the size and origination of this historic and massive national fraud is denuded.


......not by The Donald btw

Posted by: ontherocks at October 23, 2012 09:04 PM (aZ6ew)

333 So that is what terminal DTslooks like.
Chrissie should have stuck to pink elephants...

Posted by: TexasJew at October 23, 2012 09:05 PM (6/bOE)

334 Crap. Not available on NetFlix.
Posted by: toby928© at October 23, 2012 08:42 PM (QupBk)



Not gonna lie, that's the first thing I did too.


I actually went to IMDB to see the year and was surprised it wasn't a quick parody of the Pirates of the Caribbean movie.

And I'd bet it still makes more sense than 1/2 of Takashi Miike's films.

Posted by: Bete stays up at October 23, 2012 09:05 PM (8kIXE)

335 332 Looks like it's gonna be another all-troll ONT (sigh).

Yes but considering the implosion of the SCOAMF the entertainment value will be marvelous. The skewering of troll things will make Vlad the Impaler envious.

Posted by: Wonkish Rogue at October 23, 2012 09:09 PM (WItBr)

336 Indonesia Barry and the Temple of Choom.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at October 23, 2012 09:09 PM (29+x5)

337 If Matthews really wants to be a senator he needs to run in Minnesota...those dumb SOBswould elect Snooky as long as she ran as a Dim.

Posted by: Icedog at October 23, 2012 09:10 PM (PTS+l)

338 I cut Matthews a lot of slack because the encephalitis. He doesn't really know he's nuts.

Posted by: Sarahw at October 23, 2012 09:11 PM (LYwCh)

339 280 Slightly traumatized. Searching around imdb for movies to spoof and what shows up in a search? A Japanese film titled Groper Train: The Search for the Black Pearl. And the cover pic is a close up of some guys hand inside the underwear of a Japanese girl on the train.
Posted by: BCochran1981 at October 23, 2012 08:35 PM (GEICT)

How else do you get a pussy print? The pussy print is the key to solving the murder.

Umm, yeah. WTF!

Posted by: RWC at October 23, 2012 09:16 PM (t+Sdx)

340 I'd like to build the world a Greg
And furnish it with Greg
Grow apple Gregs and honey Gregs
And snow white turtle Gregs

I'd like to teach the world to Greg
In perfect Gregony
I'd like to hold it in my Gregs
And keep it Gregany

I'd like to see the world for Greg
All standing Greg in Greg
And hear them echo through the Gregs
For Gregs throughout the Greg

It's not the real Greg, Greg is


Posted by: Jcw46 at October 23, 2012 09:17 PM (Vh0f5)

341 340: No, Crissy is a textbook example ofsyphilitic dementia.

Posted by: Jim in Virginia at October 23, 2012 09:19 PM (5pMyq)

342 BTW Ace, Chris Mathews scored a 60 on the Mary Sue test. Would've been higher but they didn't have a "turn yourself into a human dildo and gently pleasure your character" question.

Posted by: Tocquevillian at October 23, 2012 09:43 PM (iuY0Y)

343 "White House told of militant claim two hours after Libya attack: emails
By Mark Hosenball
WASHINGTON | Tue Oct 23, 2012 9:11pm EDT"

http://tinyurl.com/94jf3gj

Posted by: What do you do all day if you don't watch tv, anne? at October 23, 2012 09:49 PM (oZfic)

344 He is deranged.

In NC we call this, "Mid aged UNC psychosis".

Delusions of grandeur and heavy consumption of alcohol leading to a fat fucking idiot.

There are thousands of them down here. Wandering the streets of Chapel Hill looking at 20 year old coeds, that are mostly ghey, and hitting on them.

They think they are still 19 at the DKE house. Sad.

The only cure? An ass beating by a biker bouncer at the titty bar they will wind up in.

Posted by: Billy Bob, pseudo intellectual at October 23, 2012 09:52 PM (wR+pz)

345 Greg. I bet you have Mary Sue fantasies all the time. Do you save the hero or do they make sweet love to you in the final scene? By which you save "Barry" from his gray striaight life with a cold hearted publicity tart.

Posted by: Tocquevillian at October 23, 2012 09:53 PM (iuY0Y)

346 White House told of militant claim two hours after Libya attack: emails Reuters

Posted by: perdogg at October 23, 2012 09:53 PM (Ttf/I)

347 If owning a voting machine company gave you an "in" to massaging
results, don't you think that that worthless cocksucker George Soros
would pony up to buy a company?


Already happened...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sequoia_Voting_Systems

Hugo Chavez's slippery fingers are pulling the strings at Sequoia...as recently as 2008.

Posted by: @PurpAv at October 23, 2012 10:05 PM (vJ6vx)

348 132 Guy got malaria years ago and has gotten more unhinged every year- really think that has something to do with it.

Posted by: jjshaka at October 23, 2012 08:00 PM (uX1kX)

That's exactly what I've been saying for the past few years. Matthews was OK during Bush's first term but then he got malaria in 2002 or so and went off the rails a few years later. Mental illness can actually be caused by malaria so I don't think it's that far-fetched of a theory.

Posted by: Slappy at October 23, 2012 10:07 PM (LTbLf)

349 Is it wrong for me to touch myself vigorously and repeatedly while watching midget porn? That reminds me, I really wish I hadn't lost those nude color photos of Hervé Villechaize that I stored in my sock drawer for so many years. That was a very sad day for me, much like Election Day will be in a couple of weeks.

Posted by: Greg at October 23, 2012 10:10 PM (LTbLf)

350 Think about it "Tingles" could be bigger than Big Bird

Posted by: bverwey at October 23, 2012 10:15 PM (mk4DZ)

351 A legend in his own mind.

Posted by: @PurpAv at October 23, 2012 10:17 PM (vJ6vx)

352
Chris Matthews legacy as a talking head - drool bibs and the bad crazy.
Chris Matthews legacy as a Senator - pretty much the same thing.

Posted by: @PurpAv at October 23, 2012 10:19 PM (vJ6vx)

353 Does anyone remember the senator in 2004 at the RNC convention who wanted to challenge Chrissy to a duel? I can't remember his name, but that was must see TV too.

Zell Miller, and he would have won.

Posted by: cheshirecat at October 23, 2012 10:30 PM (uZWQk)

354 Zell bitch-slaps Chrissie:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AuBnlNjZq24

Posted by: cheshirecat at October 23, 2012 10:31 PM (uZWQk)

355 That's not Greg, that's...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I6wR7ACcMRk

JOHNNY BRAVO!

Posted by: cheshirecat at October 23, 2012 10:33 PM (uZWQk)

356 Oh God what a dork.

Posted by: Corona at October 23, 2012 10:39 PM (fh2Y7)

357 355: "JOHNNY BRAVO!"

I like "The Brady Bunch." That Sam The Butcher was one handsome fella.

Posted by: Greg at October 23, 2012 10:43 PM (LTbLf)

358 Said it before and will say it again; syphilis in its later stages is not pretty. My best to Chris and his family.

Posted by: Dr. jukin OBGYN at October 23, 2012 10:50 PM (WGm5T)

359 Greta dropping some bombs on Libya attack

Posted by: Bret at October 23, 2012 10:56 PM (ZcRQQ)

360 check my blog for a photoshop of Chrissy Baby

Posted by: Edward Cropper at October 23, 2012 11:00 PM (Lt3vg)

361 If wishes were horses, you'd be beating a dead one, Chris.

Posted by: disa at October 24, 2012 12:01 AM (Zfbfs)

362 "You guys know what a "Mary Sue" is, right? If you don't, a "Mary Sue" is a character inserted into fanfic who is a thinly disguised version of the amateur author;"

A Mary Sue doesn't have to be a version of the author. It can also be his/her favorite character idea, often a revision of someone else's character with a couple of new features added to provide the illusion of uniqueness. They invade another popular characters space, are portrayed as being friends with them, and then they outperform and gradually begin to parasitically supplant the popular character as though the author wants you to start out liking his character because they hang out with this character you like and then transfer your affection over to the new bullshit character. Usually this happens in fan fiction, but sadly not always.

Examples: My detective (who looked like a 19th century Hunter S. Thompson and sounds like Walter Matthau) is a little bit smarter than Sherlock Holmes and helps Holmes solve a case he can't crack...because he's THAT awsome.

And his son becomes an old Friend of Nero Wolf's in the 40's who shows up after Archie quits and moves on to find work on his own for a while. And he solves mysteries that leave Nero Wolfe stumped and he is a better cook than Fritz. Because he is so cool and great. Like his dad who looks like Hunter S. Thompson but sounds like Walter Matthau and who hung out with Shelock Holmes and helped him.

My superhero can save Batman from some thing that Batman couldn't possibly beat. And he hangs out with Batman. But he's way cooler than batman in some ways.

Dr. Who just got through with a horrible Mary Sue character played by middle aged Alex Kingston (formerly on ER) that just ruined the show like some invasive species always showing up and mugging and just getting in the damned way. She ended up being a horribly over exposed nuisance because the writer is a nut. It's called Dr. Who not #@#$ing River Song.

I think there was a licensed series of TOS Star trek novels in the early 80's about a female junior ensign who started hanging out with the Star Trek bridge crew and solving all their problems because she was so smart and cool and tough.

Anyway a Mary Sue can be when a writer ruins something to promote some new crappy character that isn't all that new, doesn't fit in well, and who can't seem to fart or make mistakes and so becomes the center of everything while the reader/viewer squirms and hopes the new character just disappears so things can go back to normal.

Posted by: Cackfinger at October 24, 2012 02:02 AM (CCHli)

363 In the 4:05 email is states the are 4 COM ant the ambassador in the safe house. Is some one missing is there were only 4 KIA?

Posted by: Odel Roo at October 24, 2012 04:31 AM (MSW07)

364 what a load...so Chris Matthews demands to be addressed as Senator Matthews while he plays one on TV...

Posted by: panzernashorn at October 24, 2012 06:26 AM (BAnPT)

365 And by "rock star", he of course means David St. Hubbins.

Posted by: Rich Fader at October 24, 2012 06:55 PM (ip1x2)






Processing 0.05, elapsed 0.0713 seconds.
15 queries taking 0.0243 seconds, 374 records returned.
Page size 152 kb.
Powered by Minx 0.7 alpha.

MuNuvians
MeeNuvians
Polls! Polls! Polls!
Frequently Asked Questions
The (Almost) Complete Paul Anka Integrity Kick
Top Top Tens
Greatest Hitjobs

The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon
A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates
Margaret Cho: Just Not Funny
More Margaret Cho Abuse
Margaret Cho: Still Not Funny
Iraqi Prisoner Claims He Was Raped... By Woman
Wonkette Announces "Morning Zoo" Format
John Kerry's "Plan" Causes Surrender of Moqtada al-Sadr's Militia
World Muslim Leaders Apologize for Nick Berg's Beheading
Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree
Milestone: Oliver Willis Posts 400th "Fake News Article" Referencing Britney Spears
Liberal Economists Rue a "New Decade of Greed"
Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility
Intelligence Officials Eye Blogs for Tips
They Done Found Us Out, Cletus: Intrepid Internet Detective Figures Out Our Master Plan
Shock: Josh Marshall Almost Mentions Sarin Discovery in Iraq
Leather-Clad Biker Freaks Terrorize Australian Town
When Clinton Was President, Torture Was Cool
What Wonkette Means When She Explains What Tina Brown Means
Wonkette's Stand-Up Act
Wankette HQ Gay-Rumors Du Jour
Here's What's Bugging Me: Goose and Slider
My Own Micah Wright Style Confession of Dishonesty
Outraged "Conservatives" React to the FMA
An On-Line Impression of Dennis Miller Having Sex with a Kodiak Bear
The Story the Rightwing Media Refuses to Report!
Our Lunch with David "Glengarry Glen Ross" Mamet
The House of Love: Paul Krugman
A Michael Moore Mystery (TM)
The Dowd-O-Matic!
Liberal Consistency and Other Myths
Kepler's Laws of Liberal Media Bias
John Kerry-- The Splunge! Candidate
"Divisive" Politics & "Attacks on Patriotism" (very long)
The Donkey ("The Raven" parody)
News/Chat