Overnight Open Thread (9-10-2012)

Battle Royale: In a Mass Knife Fight to the Death Between Every American President Who Would Win?

Of course I'd be remiss if I didn't cover this.

The rules are pretty simple -

  • Every president is in the best physical and mental condition they were ever in throughout the course of their presidency. Fatal maladies have been cured, but any lifelong conditions or chronic illnesses (e.g. FDR's polio) remain. FDR gets a special combat wheelchair.
  • Each president has been given one standard-issue Gerber LHR Combat Knife. Assume the presidents have no training outside any combat experiences they may have had in their own lives.
  • There is no penalty for avoiding combat for an extended period of time. Hiding and/or playing dead could be valid strategies, but there can be only one winner. The melee will go on as long as it needs to.
  • If it's your first time at presidential fight club, you HAVE TO fight.

So who would be the final winner?

Well my bet would be on Andrew Jackson or Zachary Taylor since they were both career fighting men used to killing people with axes and blades. Likewise Teddy Roosevelt would probably make the top 3.

I think George Washington would do well but still fall at another president's hand. And I suspect George H and George W. Bush in their prime would be strong contenders since they'd likely fight as a team and be willing to give their lives to protect the other. Then there are always wild cards like Chester Arthur or Nixon who might be worth taking a flyer on.

On the other hand most everyone seems to agree that Jimmy Carter would the first to be killed and that Jackson wherever he placed in the end would probably have the most kills.

knifejacksoncommando_training-2-265x300
dune5gTheodore Roosevelt
knife-fight1MJ-Beat-It-Knife-Fight

Iowahawk Explains the New Obama-ized American Dream

Where are you in the free birth control to disability lifecycle?

580x569xlemmebeclear2-600x589.jpg.pagespeed.b.ic.pCsyi3PqiQ

Ex-comedian Bill Maher: The Rich Should Just Admit that They're Lucky

Bill Maher doubles down on a certain line that has become a problem for the Obama Democrats over the past few weeks.
Everyone loves a good underdog story, and President Barack Obama has just that, according to comedian Bill Maher, who said on his Friday night comedy program that Democrats just wish Republicans would admit they were born into laps of luxury.

"New rule: if reelected, President Obama must appoint Bill Clinton to head the EPA because on Wednesday night he cleared away an unbelievable amount of toxic bullshit," Maher said. "Beginning with knocking down the contention that Democrats are envious of success and sneer at the American Dream of starting out with nothing and making good. No, it's not that liberals envy the rich, they just wish the rich would admit they were just lucky."

Bill Maher is certainly lucky. He is short, not good looking, and hasn't been close to funny in at least 10 years. He offers no form of insight in any of his commentary, and isn't entertaining, shrewd or witty.

As Ace has pointed out before Hollywood celebrities are particularly prone to believing that success is mostly due to luck since that's so often the case in showbiz. So of course they naturally assume the rest of the world works the same way. This also explains why they feel so guilty about their own financial success - but can only find solace by making others pay more taxes.

maher1

Who Gets To Watch Which Game

Okay most of the games shown in a region make sense since usually at least one is a local. But some areas don't quite fit this pattern like Oklahoma, Colorado and central South Carolina.

Update: @kosherpickle points out that Tebow and Adrian Peterson explain why CO and OK get different games.

nflgamesweek1coverage

Now going on Day 10 - don't break the chain!!

I m participating in No Fap September. This is going _cee50a90a765d1ba598dfa698ef89ed4

The Yahoo AoSHQ group. Bla bla bla.

And my twitter thang.

Tonight's post brought to you by also by September:tumblr_m9u8fxiVzV1qzl13xo1_500

Notice: Posted by permission of AceCorp LLC. Please e-mail overnight open thread tips to maetenloch at gmail. Otherwise send tips to Ace.

Posted by: Maetenloch at 09:47 PM



Comments

1 Maet hands down Andy Jackson, Abe or TR in fisticuffs.

Posted by: sven10077 at September 10, 2012 09:49 PM (LRFds)

2 First?

Posted by: Hobbitopoly at September 10, 2012 09:49 PM (d6TfZ)

3 Nope.

Posted by: Hobbitopoly at September 10, 2012 09:49 PM (d6TfZ)

4 Fourth

Posted by: grease monkey at September 10, 2012 09:50 PM (VSWPU)

5 Nice elbows, Nikki

Posted by: Meme Machine at September 10, 2012 09:51 PM (wwsoB)

6 Abe Lincoln was a wrestler. I wouldn't bet against him.

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo (NJConservative) at September 10, 2012 09:52 PM (2b4yb)

7 This "no fapping" rule along with the pictures of pretty girls reminds me of women's magazine covers that say "lose weight now!" next to a picture of some decadent dessert.

Posted by: Mindy at September 10, 2012 09:53 PM (CC6tc)

8 If Dick Cheney were to enter the fight, then he wouldn't even need a knife. Dick Cheney is a ninth level Ginaz Swordmaster of the Warcock.

He will bend like a reed in the wind.

Posted by: EC at September 10, 2012 09:53 PM (doBIb)

9 Oh my! Obama would win! He killed Bin Ladin singlehandedly with just a shoelace and a sprig of arugula.

Posted by: Wet and tingly for Obama! at September 10, 2012 09:54 PM (2b4yb)

10 washington or jackson ! george could bite them and give them splinters and he would pull some serious strategery on andys ass but it would be close . teddy was to dependent on guns and he was a progressive so fuck him right in his ass !

Posted by: alec at September 10, 2012 09:55 PM (usWYv)

11 So.. what's this I hear about Romney saying on Meet the Depressed that he wants to reform Obamacare now? What happened to repeal? I didn't hear it but my husband said he did.

Posted by: jewells45 at September 10, 2012 09:55 PM (UljOc)

12 Gerald Ford was athletic, and a big dude...I'd bet on him.

Posted by: model_1066 at September 10, 2012 09:55 PM (yYKoR)

13 I rubbed one out yesterday, but I'm going to claim Obama rules and deny it ever happened.

Posted by: @PurpAv at September 10, 2012 09:56 PM (uKnGb)

14 Do I get to bring along my pet alligator?

Posted by: John Quincy Adams at September 10, 2012 09:56 PM (sZTYJ)

15 Three out of the four on Mt Rushmore would be contenders in the Presidential knife-fight tourney.

Posted by: fluffy at September 10, 2012 09:56 PM (z9HTb)

16 Old Hickory or Teddy Big Stick: Who do you got?

Posted by: IdowhatIwant at September 10, 2012 09:56 PM (a4CUi)

17 Gerald Ford was a klutzy bumpkin!

Posted by: SNL dumbfuck meme at September 10, 2012 09:56 PM (Wk0jV)

18 George Washington stabbed people on Christmas Eve while they were sleeping so he's got that going for him

Posted by: art garfunkels ugly kid at September 10, 2012 09:57 PM (0yt8C)

19 My money's on George Washington, but this needs VPs added to the discussion, so that the dark powers of Darth Cheney can be examined.

Posted by: Big T Party at September 10, 2012 09:57 PM (EhUTA)

20
Presidential knife fight? I've got $20 on Taft. He doesn't need a knife, he was 300 lbs. Slow but deadly.
And Nikki? I'll be in my bunk.

Posted by: Jim in Virginia at September 10, 2012 09:57 PM (YQggA)

21 Calvin Coolidge would play possum until only one would remain. Then he'd silently creep up on them and gut his opponent.

Posted by: The Political Hat at September 10, 2012 09:58 PM (sZTYJ)

22 "No Fap", and then you post that picture?

Posted by: Waterhouse at September 10, 2012 09:59 PM (mXE7q)

23 Gerald Ford was a klutzy bumpkin!
Posted by: SNL dumbfuck meme at September 10, 2012 09:56 PM (Wk0jV)

Actually he was a pretty good athlete. Played college football

Posted by: Nevergiveup at September 10, 2012 09:59 PM (05RcU)

24 18

America.
We will kill you, in your sleep, on Christmas.

That's just how we roll.

Posted by: Big T Party at September 10, 2012 09:59 PM (EhUTA)

25 Clinton was 6-3 and 240 lbs in his WH days.

Linebacker sized, but I think he was kind of like Baby Huey

Posted by: kbdabear at September 10, 2012 09:59 PM (wwsoB)

26 Nixon would fight dirty, but then Kennedy would claim victory over him and he wouldn't contest it.

Posted by: buzzion at September 10, 2012 10:00 PM (GULKT)

27 Woodrow Wilson vs Barack Obama: Who do you got?


Alternate Rules: Substitute knives for nail files and effete facial expressions.

Posted by: IdowhatIwant at September 10, 2012 10:00 PM (a4CUi)

28 21 this a real knife fight not an economic one ( calvin was badass at cutting )

Posted by: alec at September 10, 2012 10:00 PM (usWYv)

29 Camping: It's a legitimate strategy.

Posted by: wte9 at September 10, 2012 10:00 PM (6Tcdo)

30
Hey, check me out. Making two appearances on the ONT.

Nice!

Posted by: Patrick Stewart at September 10, 2012 10:00 PM (Wk0jV)

31 Pretty clear who wins. Obama wins the knife fight without drawing any blood himself...by talking the the rest of the players into committing suicide.

Posted by: @PurpAv at September 10, 2012 10:00 PM (uKnGb)

32 LBJ was a big SOB too, and you know he would have fought dirty

Posted by: kbdabear at September 10, 2012 10:00 PM (wwsoB)

33 Nikki BAZING!


I'll take Washington, Jackson, or Teddy in the presidential knife fight.

Posted by: Adam at September 10, 2012 10:00 PM (/YJYi)

34 her elbows are showing aggression and promise, concurrently

Posted by: Jim in Beam at September 10, 2012 10:00 PM (Dll6b)

35 Presidential knife fight? I've got $20 on Taft. He doesn't need a knife, he was 300 lbs. Slow but deadly.
And Nikki? I'll be in my bunk.

Posted by: Jim in Virginia at September 10, 2012 09:57 PM (YQggA)


They say this cat Taft is a bad mother...

Posted by: The Political Hat at September 10, 2012 10:01 PM (sZTYJ)

36 Clinton was 6-3 and 240 lbs in his WH days.


Slick Willy is more of a back-stabber than a fighter.

Posted by: fluffy at September 10, 2012 10:01 PM (z9HTb)

37
>>>Actually he was a pretty good athlete. Played college football

Hence the 'SNL dumbfuck meme' sock.

Posted by: Lurking Canuck at September 10, 2012 10:02 PM (Wk0jV)

38 Martin Van Buren.

Posted by: Cosmo Kramer at September 10, 2012 10:02 PM (wwsoB)

39
"Where are you in the free birth control to disability lifecycle?"

Since you bring up disability, let's run with that.

I know an Obama voter. You tell me how to win this guy's vote for Romney.

He's white. Male. Middle-aged. No higher education. Has some trade school tech certificates.

He's been a solid productive reliable law-abiding worker since leaving high school. A true salt of the earth Steady Eddie.

Watched
his slender chances for advancement to better work get hoovered up by
others toting college credentials or affirmative action legs up.

Reached his late fifties, was laid off, and got sick.

Burned through his savings. No chance of getting rehired even if healthy.

His doctor said, "I will sign to put you on disability."

He snatched at that as a lifeline. Government checks for roof overhead and food on table. Coverage for his medical issues.

It's not prosperity or comfort but it's not starvation and eviction either.

Assume
that he were to lose his disability benefits either via government cutbacks
or by getting well. That would be a DISASTER for him.

His job is gone. Exported overseas. There are a thin smattering of low level tech grunt jobs left that he could apply for.

But
when U.S. employers can and will hire a healthy 22-year-old Indian temp worker
on an H-1B for such positions, guys like him have no realistic chance of
competing and finding full time jobs any longer.

Leftists marinated in ethnic and gender identity
politics think that all older white guys think alike and stick together.
Bullshit. Total bullshit.

When my friend looks at Mitt Romney,
he doesn't see a white guy just like himself. There's a huge class
barrier. My low caste uneducated white guy friend sees someone NOT at
all like him.

He instead sees a high caste educated white guy
with an MBA. Just like the high caste educated white guys with MBAs who
sent his job, and tens of millions of others like it, to China and India
and Mexico.

So here's the fundamental proposition he is facing.

With
Obama, he has a candidate who is unlikely to bring back any jobs for
which he could plausibly get hired. But, Obama promises to keep the
government benefits flowing no matter what, and he needs those benefits.

With
Romney, he has a candidate who is also unlikely to bring back any jobs
for which he could plausibly get hired. But Romney is also a candidate
who is talking about cutting government spending.

Which for a
guy who is backed into a corner and who is crucially dependent on the
government to live, sounds like a deadly threat instead of a promise.

So,
you tell me. How do you get this guy to vote against Obama and for
Romney? How do you crack the dependency fix for someone who can't
plausibly become reindependent?

Worse yet, if you look at the
disability numbers, you realize that there are a fuckton of other Americans who
are in exactly the same position that he is. People who realistically
aren't going to be re-employed any time soon.

Needless but
probably necessary to say, the magic liberal fantasy that tens of
millions of people can take early retirement via disability does not
work either.

Posted by: torquewrench at September 10, 2012 10:02 PM (ymG7s)

40 I think Andrew Jackson ismy favorite to win - tough, fearless, cunning, and downright mean. Not my favorite president, but probably the most experienced in this kind of brawl and he had the kind of skills and attitude necessary to win.

Posted by: Grey Fox at September 10, 2012 10:02 PM (CG2wP)

41 You only have to outlast William Henry Harrison for about 30 days.

Posted by: Waterhouse at September 10, 2012 10:02 PM (mXE7q)

42
35.
They say this cat Taft is a bad mother...


Shut yo mouf!

Posted by: Jim in Virginia at September 10, 2012 10:02 PM (YQggA)

43 Slick Willy is more of a back-stabber than a fighter.
Posted by: fluffy at September 10, 2012 10:01 PM (z9HTb)

Slick Willy is a lover, not a fighter

Posted by: Nevergiveup at September 10, 2012 10:03 PM (05RcU)

44 20 Darn, I was going to pick Taft. That fat pad is like an adipose shield.

Posted by: no good deed at September 10, 2012 10:03 PM (mjR67)

45 Obama wins the knife fight without drawing any blood himself...by talking the the rest of the players into committing suicide.


Or he dies instantly from 42 simultaneous cuts.

Posted by: fluffy at September 10, 2012 10:03 PM (z9HTb)

46 Ya, my first instinct was Andrew Jackson. He always struck me as a guy that would slice you and be happy about it.

Posted by: mama winger in paul ryan's district at September 10, 2012 10:03 PM (P6QsQ)

47 I would tend to favor Abraham Lincoln, because of his size (i.e. height) and strength. Jackson was mean, to be sure, and TR was feisty (and physically fit as the result of self-discipline), but at a certain point none of that matters against an unusually large man who spent a lot of his early life in strenuous physical activity.

Posted by: TH at September 10, 2012 10:03 PM (OZ94/)

48 I think George Washington would do well but still fall at another president's hand
***
Well, what if it was a tomahawk fight instead?

Posted by: 18-1 at September 10, 2012 10:03 PM (AUeaU)

49 Substitute knives with teleprompters and Obama wins.

Posted by: EC at September 10, 2012 10:03 PM (doBIb)

50 I've gotten laid a couple times this weekend, so I'm going to do pretty well on the fap-jack contest. Too much information for you guys, but giving up porn has been great for me. I might make it a forever thing.

Posted by: Max Power at September 10, 2012 10:04 PM (q177U)

51 I think Andrew Jackson ismy favorite to win - tough, fearless, cunning, and downright mean. Not my favorite president, but probably the most experienced in this kind of brawl and he had the kind of skills and attitude necessary to win.
Posted by: Grey Fox at September 10, 2012 10:02 PM (CG2wP)

Good man, but I take U. Grant on most days and every day if you liquor him him up some

Posted by: Nevergiveup at September 10, 2012 10:04 PM (05RcU)

52 I can whip any other President's ass, knife or no knife! That bony old reprobate Jackson will not harm me, as I have the reflexes of a striking cobra! Also, I am a professional EXECUTIONER and have personally hanged two murderers, both suspected Irishmen!

I fear no man, Republican, Democrat, Whig, or Anti-Masonic!

Posted by: Grover FUCKING Cleveland at September 10, 2012 10:04 PM (SShbL)

53 Andrew Jackson would kick every other president's ass and then sleep with their wives. He is the only one that actually fought a lot of these battles. He may have been wrong on some policy stuff but he was all that is man.

Posted by: Christopher Taylor at September 10, 2012 10:04 PM (r4wIV)

54 Obama is a stuttering clusterf*ck of a miserable failure.

Posted by: steevy at September 10, 2012 10:05 PM (6o4Fb)

55 I'm thinkin' it would come down to TR -vs- GW.
They'd look at each-other, the destruction around them, then hit the pub!

Posted by: ChrisP at September 10, 2012 10:05 PM (t0yc8)

56 How would Dwight D have fared? I figure he might have learned a thing or two over the years.

Posted by: t-bird at September 10, 2012 10:05 PM (FcR7P)

57 Ol' Abe would chop the rest of those fuckers up with his rail-splittin' axe in no time flat.Little known fact: Abe's much maligned father, Thomas Lincoln, was nearly slaughtered by Elizabeth Warren'smake-believe ancestors. Lincoln Sr. was a boy when a band of Indians attacked the Kentucky homestead his fatherhad staked. The grandfather (Jesse Lincoln) was scalped in front of Thomas. Jesse's brother Mordecai then shotan Indian who had subdued Thomas and was preparing to scalp him.

Posted by: Lincolntf at September 10, 2012 10:06 PM (HethX)

58
Bill Maher is a fraud. Anyone who watched him in his mid-nineties comedy central days knows that. He played the libertarian back then, who OPPOSED the Clinton healthcare bill and said that most of Hollywood were nutty liberals.
Then he got fired by ABC.
Then he got hired by HBO.

The rest is nauseous history.

Posted by: Reggie1971 at September 10, 2012 10:06 PM (e1X4T)

59 Good man, but I take U. Grant on most days and every day if you liquor him him up some
***
Grant hated fighting, so he probably wouldn't have been that good at it in person.

Posted by: 18-1 at September 10, 2012 10:06 PM (AUeaU)

60 John Quincy Adams would stab his dad first

Posted by: art garfunkels ugly kid at September 10, 2012 10:06 PM (0yt8C)

61 with that one comment, Torquewrench just described the majority of Pennsylvania residents.

Posted by: BlackOrchidMissesDagny at September 10, 2012 10:07 PM (J6kXj)

62 On the subject of Slick Willy, I read this American Spectator article from 1994 about him the other night. Dear God, I was young during his administration and knew about Lewinsky and had heard vague rumors about other women. But if even half of that Spectator article is true Hugh Hefner was president of the 90's.

Posted by: Adam at September 10, 2012 10:07 PM (/YJYi)

63 One on one, none of the former Presidents could beat Jackson. No doubt. The fucker stood and let a guy shoot him in a duel - just to fuck with his head. Then he bit the guy's face off without bath salts or anything.

Barky would lose at everything, though he's technically ineligible for this competition because he's not a natural born citizen and an uncoordinated retard, to boot. But I'd let him compete, anyway, just to see someone beat him out of existence.

Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair at September 10, 2012 10:07 PM (X3lox)

64 My money's on Abe.

long reach. always wins in a knife fight!

Posted by: BlackOrchidMissesDagny at September 10, 2012 10:07 PM (J6kXj)

65 Washington was a large and powerful man who knew his way around edged weapons(especially swords).

Posted by: steevy at September 10, 2012 10:08 PM (6o4Fb)

66 They say this cat Taft is a bad mother...

Shut yo mouf!

Posted by: Jim in Virginia at September 10, 2012 10:02 PM (YQggA)


I just talkin' about Taft!

Posted by: The Political Hat at September 10, 2012 10:08 PM (sZTYJ)

67 Are we forgetting Rutherford B. Hayes?

Posted by: buzzion at September 10, 2012 10:08 PM (GULKT)

68 Speaking of knives, there's this really great pizza joint downtown...

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at September 10, 2012 10:08 PM (+tqYo)

69 Get Govt Job => Get Laid Off

ERROR, ERROR. DOES NOT COMPUTE. ERROR.

Posted by: weft cut-loop at September 10, 2012 10:09 PM (NRwWP)

70 Torque, you were going to tell us how to win your that guy's vote for Romney.

Posted by: EC at September 10, 2012 10:09 PM (doBIb)

71 Chester Arthur's sideburns were registered as lethal weapons.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at September 10, 2012 10:09 PM (+tqYo)

72 U.S. Grant vs. All Comers.


Special Rules: "First, we have a few drinks....."

Posted by: IdowhatIwant at September 10, 2012 10:09 PM (a4CUi)

73 Hmm, I'm not sure I agree with Lincoln winning a knife fight, just because sometimes physical size can be an impediment. Sure, he has a long reach, but he doesn't strike me as very scrappy when it comes down to it.


Speaking of Lincoln, thanks to the wonderful public school education my son is receiving I had to answer the question "Mom, was Lincoln a Democrat?" last week.

Posted by: ParanoidGirlInSeattle at September 10, 2012 10:10 PM (RZ8pf)

74 Oh my! Obama would win! He killed Bin Ladin singlehandedly with just a shoelace and a sprig of arugula.
The Dem dick pizzeria owner who bear-hugged Obama (and that the media helpfully didn't point out was a Dem who'd visited the White House in July) said that Obama was in better shape than Jack Paul Ryan. What a load. (Via Drudge I think.)

Posted by: andycanuck at September 10, 2012 10:10 PM (vDl/w)

75 I can whip any other President's ass, knife or no knife! That bony old reprobate Jackson will not harm me, as I have the reflexes of a striking cobra! Also, I am a professional EXECUTIONER and have personally hanged two murderers, both suspected Irishmen!

I fear no man, Republican, Democrat, Whig, or Anti-Masonic!

Posted by: Grover FUCKING Cleveland at September 10, 2012 10:04 PM (SShbL)


Cleveland would rip each of your kidneys... non-consecutively.

Posted by: The Political Hat at September 10, 2012 10:10 PM (sZTYJ)

76 I have to go with Abe Lincoln because of his size, reach, and strength. Sure he got himself killed off in that one Star Trek episode by Ghengis Khan, but that wasn't really Abe, just an alien creation used as a stand-in.

Posted by: Dogbert at September 10, 2012 10:10 PM (4z+35)

77 torquewrench.. so, what's he gonna do when we have no money to give him? When the government is broke it ain't gonna be able to pay ANYBODY.

Posted by: jewells45 at September 10, 2012 10:10 PM (UljOc)

78 Speaking of Lincoln, thanks to the wonderful public school education my
son is receiving I had to answer the question "Mom, was Lincoln a
Democrat?" last week.


How's your head?

Posted by: Waterhouse at September 10, 2012 10:11 PM (mXE7q)

79 Lincoln and Capt Kirk did pretty well against the other aliens.

Posted by: EC at September 10, 2012 10:11 PM (doBIb)

80 Torquewrench -

tell your friend that if he is relying on benefits, that benefits rely on jobs. No jobs - no one paying taxes into SSDI. No one paying taxes into the system = no money for SSDI. Too many people in the wagon, no one pulling the wagon - wagon breaks and no one gets to ride.

If he doesn't want the wheels coming off the wagon, then he needs to vote for Romney. Obama can make all the promises he wants, but if the money's not there, it's not there.

The only way SSDI has money is for people to get back to work and start paying into it.

Posted by: mama winger in paul ryan's district at September 10, 2012 10:11 PM (P6QsQ)

81 Girls aren't participating in no fap month are they? Cause we don't really technically fap.

Posted by: ParanoidGirlInSeattle at September 10, 2012 10:11 PM (RZ8pf)

82 FDR was a martini sipping pussy ,even if he had legs that worked he'd be dead meat.

Posted by: steevy at September 10, 2012 10:11 PM (6o4Fb)

83 But if even half of that Spectator article is true Hugh Hefner was president of the 90's.
***
I remember when liberals used to claim that Bill' womanizing was all made up.

Of course they laugh about it now, but at the time feminism was a bit different and running the Democrats.

Posted by: 18-1 at September 10, 2012 10:11 PM (AUeaU)

84 Washington was a for real badass warrior but I'd still take Old Hickory over him. Lincoln was tough but not a fighter, I wouldn't put good odds on him.

Obama and Carter would get into a slap fight over who would be the one to insist on peace and getting along until they could get the knife in their opponent's backs. Clinton would act like everyone's friend then whisper in Zachary Taylor's ear that FDR had called him a fag.

Posted by: Christopher Taylor at September 10, 2012 10:12 PM (r4wIV)

85 I would tend to favor Abraham Lincoln, because of his size (i.e. height) and strength. Jackson was mean, to be sure, and TR was feisty (and physically fit as the result of self-discipline), but at a certain point none of that matters against an unusually large man who spent a lot of his early life in strenuous physical activity.

Posted by: TH at September 10, 2012 10:03 PM (OZ94/)


Abe SMASH slavery!

Posted by: Abe Lincoln, now with Gamma Radiation! at September 10, 2012 10:12 PM (sZTYJ)

86 Harding would be the last rolling around, hard to get through his heftiness with just a knife.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at September 10, 2012 10:12 PM (MGQq/)

87
President John McCain would have been a viable threat to man and beast.

Posted by: Dr Fish, TDY to SAT for ill mom at September 10, 2012 10:12 PM (ndqJC)

88 Rules?! In a knife fight? No rules!!

(Butch Cassidy kicks Harvey Logan square in the nuts)

"Okay, somebody count 1-2-3- go!

(Sundance)

1-2-3- go!

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at September 10, 2012 10:12 PM (+tqYo)

89 8 If Dick Cheney were to enter the fight, then he wouldn't even need a knife. Dick Cheney is a ninth level Ginaz Swordmaster of the Warcock.

He will bend like a reed in the wind.


The Warcock does not bend.

Posted by: BCochran1981 at September 10, 2012 10:12 PM (GEICT)

90
78 Speaking of Lincoln, thanks to the wonderful public school education my son is receiving I had to answer the question "Mom, was Lincoln a Democrat?" last week.How's your head?
Posted by: Waterhouse at September 10, 2012 10:11 PM (mXE7q)


And how's the desk/wall you were banging it against?

Posted by: buzzion at September 10, 2012 10:12 PM (GULKT)

91 Waterhouse, after we picked up all the pieces of my head from the explosion I very calmly explained the real facts about Lincoln.

Posted by: ParanoidGirlInSeattle at September 10, 2012 10:12 PM (RZ8pf)

92 The Dem dick pizzeria owner who bear-hugged Obama (and that the media helpfully didn't point out was a Dem who'd visited the White House in July) said that Obama was in better shape than Jack Paul Ryan. What a load. (Via Drudge I think.)

Posted by: andycanuck at September 10, 2012 10:10 PM (vDl/w)


I hope that jerk never sees another cent of business. He's a piece of shit.

Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair at September 10, 2012 10:12 PM (X3lox)

93 86 Harding would be the last rolling around, hard to get through his heftiness with just a knife.
Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at September 10, 2012 10:12 PM (MGQq/)


Warren or Tonya?

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at September 10, 2012 10:12 PM (+tqYo)

94 http://is.gd/K3qnAk

I put Bushy up with a chain saw massacre...In the prezzy duel.

Posted by: sTevo at September 10, 2012 10:13 PM (VMcEw)

95 Every American president, he says.....



Jefferson Davis vs. Augusto Pinochet: Who do you got?

Posted by: IdowhatIwant at September 10, 2012 10:13 PM (a4CUi)

96 Girls aren't participating in no fap month are they?

No schlick month is October.

Posted by: Christopher Taylor at September 10, 2012 10:13 PM (r4wIV)

97 Andrew Jackson, hands down. The man fought genuine American Indians.

Posted by: Andrew at September 10, 2012 10:13 PM (HS3dy)

98 Girls aren't participating in no fap month are they? Cause we don't really technically fap

What do they call it for girls? Buzz?

Posted by: EC at September 10, 2012 10:13 PM (doBIb)

99 Jackson's a pussy.

Posted by: William Henry Harrison at September 10, 2012 10:13 PM (SShbL)

100 You tell me how to win this guy's vote for Romney.
He doesn't have to vote for Romney--just stay the fuck at home. "President Hillary wouldn't have fucked up so badly. I don't know how you can vote for that guy again."

Posted by: andycanuck at September 10, 2012 10:13 PM (vDl/w)

101 Girls aren't participating in no fap month are they? Cause we don't really technically fap.
___
Can you describe this process in detail? You know for the pursuit of knowledge.

Posted by: Some Moron at September 10, 2012 10:14 PM (AUeaU)

102 Tonya Harding vs Barry Obama? Tonya for the win.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at September 10, 2012 10:14 PM (MGQq/)

103 Jeff was a dangerous fellow, but not much of a knife fighter, I don't think. Have to give Pinochet the edge.

Posted by: Christopher Taylor at September 10, 2012 10:14 PM (r4wIV)

104 39 torquewrench

I think that's exactly what Obama is counting on.

Posted by: rickl at September 10, 2012 10:14 PM (sdi6R)

105 What do they call it for girls? Buzz?

Posted by: EC at September 10, 2012 10:13 PM (doBIb)


She-bop per Ms. Lauper.

Posted by: Mætenloch at September 10, 2012 10:15 PM (pAlYe)

106 Gerry Ford -- excellent athlete. Screw that miserable pustule Chevy Chase.

Posted by: DietTrying at September 10, 2012 10:15 PM (MMK/s)

107 Everyone loves a good underdog story, and President Barack Obama has just that, according to comedian Bill Maher, who said on his Friday night comedy program that Democrats just wish Republicans would admit they were born into laps of luxury.

Yeh, Jugears is an "underdog" if that's what you call a kid who went to private schools, had well heeled backers who got him into Columbia and Harvard, and lived in a million dollar mansion that a financier bought for him

I guess John Kerry or the Kennedys are rise up from poverty underdogs in Dicknose Maher's world

I'm pretty sure that there are more Dems who were born rich than Republicans. It's the trust fund types who go into the radical socialism that Maher faps himself to sleep to.

Oh, and excuse me while I pull the silver spoon out of my Republican mouth.



Posted by: kbdabear at September 10, 2012 10:15 PM (wwsoB)

108 My money is on W. Couple lines of blow, he's movin a thousand miles an hour and can't tell if he's getting cut by opponents or not.

Posted by: BCochran1981 at September 10, 2012 10:15 PM (GEICT)

109 Ah killed a rabbit with a fuckin' canoe paddle.

Killed 'im.

And yes, I said "fuckin'." 'Cause I'm a manly man.

Posted by: Jimmah Carter at September 10, 2012 10:15 PM (IoNBC)

110 that pizza guy is so incredibly passive-aggressive I am having trouble believing he's actually not female.

I mean he WINS THE AWARD of passive-aggro a-hole!

Posted by: BlackOrchidMissesDagny at September 10, 2012 10:15 PM (J6kXj)

111 FDR is fu&ked in his damned wheelchair. Oh well, too bad.

Posted by: CMU VET at September 10, 2012 10:15 PM (dPSpR)

112 I'll go with Washington. Tall, imposing, lifetime military -- he could bring it.

Posted by: Torch-Wielding Villager at September 10, 2012 10:15 PM (sTS/8)

113 Super Veto Attack!

http://i47.tinypic.com/35cgd9g.jpg

Posted by: The Political Hat at September 10, 2012 10:16 PM (sZTYJ)

114 Tonya was kind of hot in a white trash trailer sort of way. Maybe its just because she was local but I had a hard time feeling much sympathy for that Massachusetts ice queen chick. She looked like a stone bitch.

Posted by: Christopher Taylor at September 10, 2012 10:16 PM (r4wIV)

115 President Tonya Harding with Jeff Gillooly as Sec. of State

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at September 10, 2012 10:16 PM (+tqYo)

116 W is physically fit even now, and I'm sure he had some combat training keeping the skies of Texas free of Charlie.

Posted by: EC at September 10, 2012 10:16 PM (doBIb)

117 Everyone loves a good underdog story, and President Barack Obama has just that, according to comedian Bill Maher,

Barky's a "dog under glass" story.

Close. Close enough for government work, at least, as that's what Maher does, now.

Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair at September 10, 2012 10:17 PM (X3lox)

118 It's the slow blade that penetrates the shield.

Posted by: Gurney Halleck at September 10, 2012 10:17 PM (d0Tfm)

119 By the way, why didn't the Secret Service tackle pizza boy when he grabbed Preezy by the mom jeans waistband?????

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at September 10, 2012 10:17 PM (+tqYo)

120 I'm liking on Grover Cleveland. If he gets kilt, he gets to come back in for a second go-round, eh?

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at September 10, 2012 10:17 PM (hgSh3)

121 Heh. Knives. Excellent

Posted by: Richard M. Nixon at September 10, 2012 10:17 PM (a4CUi)

122 The Dem dick pizzeria owner who bear-hugged Obama (and that the media
helpfully didn't point out was a Dem who'd visited the White House in
July) said that Obama was in better shape than Jack Paul Ryan. What a
load. (Via Drudge I think.)

___
More cushion for the pushin...

Posted by: Kal Penn at September 10, 2012 10:17 PM (AUeaU)

123
William McKinley takes how many days to die from his gunshot? And a civil war vet....but he was only 5'7".
Rutherford Hayes was wounded 5 times and was a little taller at 5'8".

Posted by: Cicero Kid at September 10, 2012 10:17 PM (joKui)

124
Truman might have a good shot. Not physically tough butamean and cleverSOB.He came up through the crooked Kansas City machine while still looking clean, and thenfor no apparent reason FDR picked him as Veep;nuked the Japs twice, and fired MacArthur. He'd hide, thensneak up on the last man standing.

Posted by: Jim in Virginia at September 10, 2012 10:17 PM (YQggA)

125 55 I'm thinkin' it would come down to TR -vs- GW.
They'd look at each-other, the destruction around them, then hit the pub!
Posted by: ChrisP at September 10, 2012 10:05 PM (t0yc


Yep. Goin' with TR.

Posted by: 98ZJUSMC in Johnson County laughing at Cook County at September 10, 2012 10:17 PM (7G6C1)

126 Well goodnight kind folks. It's off to bed I go. Daughter is back to teaching at the college and I have the privilege of babysitting the three year old and one year old while she is at school. Son in law is back to work after a long long spell of unemployment (praise God), so Grandma it is.


Delightful babies, but there is a reason that young women have children and old women do not.



Posted by: mama winger in paul ryan's district at September 10, 2012 10:17 PM (P6QsQ)

127 The Bush's would team up with Clinton. Clinton would shiv Obama early.

Posted by: TheGarbone at September 10, 2012 10:18 PM (cEDzL)

128 G'night Mama W.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at September 10, 2012 10:18 PM (+tqYo)

129 Truman was really smart, but I wouldn't go with him in a fight. And Kennedy would be off fighting with Clinton over the cheerleaders.

Posted by: Christopher Taylor at September 10, 2012 10:18 PM (r4wIV)

130 "they just wish the rich would admit they were just lucky."

I don't know if I'm going to be able to be rich, but if I do blind luck won't have had much to do with it.

Posted by: A. at September 10, 2012 10:19 PM (DwHu/)

131 Millard Filmore doesn't get any love?

Posted by: IdowhatIwant at September 10, 2012 10:19 PM (a4CUi)

132 114>>>I had a hard time feeling much sympathy for that Massachusetts ice queen chick. She looked like a stone bitch.

Maybe also because when she spoke it revealed that she had the brains of a dish towel.

Posted by: Torch-Wielding Villager at September 10, 2012 10:20 PM (sTS/8)

133 81
Girls aren't participating in no fap month are they? Cause we don't really technically fap.

Posted by: ParanoidGirlInSeattle at September 10, 2012 10:11 PM

http://tinyurl.com/yawdny6

Posted by: kbdabear at September 10, 2012 10:20 PM (wwsoB)

134 Of course Clinton would be the one to shiv Obama! He'd be waiting the whole time to sink that Gerber into one of Obama's ear flaps.

Posted by: EC at September 10, 2012 10:20 PM (doBIb)

135 I hope that jerk never sees another cent of business. He's a piece of shit.
I agree completely.

Posted by: andycanuck at September 10, 2012 10:20 PM (vDl/w)

136 If this is really no FAP September, then please ask Dave in TX to stop posting cheerleader pics. Making it hard to be master of my own domain.

Posted by: Jon in TX at September 10, 2012 10:20 PM (PKRPm)

137 Taylor looks pretty bad-ass.

Posted by: DaveA at September 10, 2012 10:20 PM (nKOL2)

138
http://is.gd/K3qnAk

I put Bushy up with a chain saw massacre...In the prezzy duel.

Posted by: sTevo at September 10, 2012 10:13 PM (VMcEw)


He's be too busy fighting the Deadites...

Posted by: The Political Hat at September 10, 2012 10:20 PM (sZTYJ)

139 Don't boycott me, bro.

Posted by: Scott Van Duzer at September 10, 2012 10:20 PM (BVkEs)

140 George Washington.

Because he's 12 stories tall and made of radiation.

http://tinyurl.com/3auwxk

Posted by: Kristophr at September 10, 2012 10:21 PM (0aV2C)

141 Its foolish to say luck has nothing to do with wealth, but hard work, education, and personal ability have a tremendous amount to do with it too. Hershey failed in like 5 businesses, bankrupt over and over until he started up that chocolate factory. Was there some luck too? Probably but hard work and persistence, mostly.

I can't forget that survey someone did a while back. They asked a bunch of very rich people what the most important thing to gaining wealth was from a list and a bunch of poor people the same thing.

The poor people picked 'education' by a large margin.

The rich people picked 'hard work.' I'll bet on that.

Posted by: Christopher Taylor at September 10, 2012 10:21 PM (r4wIV)

142 What do they call it for girls? Buzz?

Posted by: EC at September 10, 2012 10:13 PM (doBIb)


Schlik?

Posted by: Onomatopoeia at September 10, 2012 10:21 PM (sZTYJ)

143 39: Does your SSDI friend foolishly believe that America will only collapse after his death if Barry wins? Honestly anyone who is retired or NEEDS disability should be doing everything in their power to get R's into power as that is their only chance to keep things afloat more than 10-15 years. Barry will cause a full scale collapse sooner rather than later.

Posted by: PaleRider at September 10, 2012 10:21 PM (dkExz)

144 Ulysses S Grant might be good in a fight, he'd go scorched earth on you.

If you could keep him sober for an hour

Posted by: kbdabear at September 10, 2012 10:22 PM (wwsoB)

145 I wouldn't underestimate Washington. He was over 6 ft. tall (which meant very tall in the 18th century) and had a very fierce temper when pushed too far.
I once saw a movie publicity poster of Reagan taken in the '30's. He was in swim trucks and looked - well, hell, like a '30's movie star (as compared to Keenu Reeves or someone like that). Quite the build.
Of course, what I think all the presidents (except for Carter and Slick) would do is jump bambi and whale the living crap out of him for disgracing his office and the Constitution.

Posted by: Donna V. at September 10, 2012 10:22 PM (9lzYO)

146
jackson willingly let an opponent in a duel fire first. his strategy was to hope dickinson would be hurried in his turn and miss. well he didnt, he hit jackson in the ribs. the bullet lodged to close to the heart to be removed and jackson carried there for next 39 years. oh, and after taking the bullet he took careful aim and killed dickinson.

there is no doubt jackson would slaughter anyone who stood in his way and then skullfuck aaron burr just for funsies!

Posted by: chas at September 10, 2012 10:22 PM (Dpiaa)

147
RE: No fap Sept.
----
Welp! I'm out!

Posted by: Up with people! at September 10, 2012 10:22 PM (kzFo5)

148 Prez James Marshall

Posted by: AirForceOne50somethindaysmoreforJEF at September 10, 2012 10:22 PM (dvLAs)

149 OK, inside the Beltway gripe: Why does DC Fox 5 giveany airtime to Mark freakin' Plotkin? I'd rather have my lungs ripped out than listen to that bozo.

Posted by: Jim in Virginia at September 10, 2012 10:23 PM (YQggA)

150 Taylor looks pretty bad-ass.

Yeah but he was a horrible president. I wish not, being my namesake and all. One of those "elect the popular general!" choices that usually turns out badly. Although we did get Washington and Eisenhower that way, and they were great.

Posted by: Christopher Taylor at September 10, 2012 10:23 PM (r4wIV)

151 What about fictional presidents?


Posted by: EC at September 10, 2012 10:23 PM (doBIb)

152
No fap? I thought it was just "no porn" month, because Ace said it was too much of a time waster? Wasn't there an endorsement of the "just use your memory" plan?
Um, I sure hope so.

Posted by: Puzzled, as usual at September 10, 2012 10:23 PM (p9rYd)

153 What about Abe Lincoln? He used to wrestle and had great reach.

Posted by: Ben at September 10, 2012 10:24 PM (XDHBy)

154 Although we did get Washington and Eisenhower that way, and they were great.

Posted by: Christopher Taylor at September 10, 2012 10:23 PM (r4wIV)


Washington was great.

Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair at September 10, 2012 10:24 PM (X3lox)

155 Washington was big and strong and probably studied sword fighting. Abe Lincoln had long arms and spent a lot of time swinging an axe. In a gunfight I'd take Teddy R.

Obama would stab the most people in the back.

Posted by: Ozzie at September 10, 2012 10:24 PM (Gumu6)

156 Abe Lincoln was a nasty wrestler -- he was not one to be fucked with in hand to hand combat.

Posted by: Throat Wobbler Mangrove at September 10, 2012 10:24 PM (l57Cl)

157 I'm out too.

Miss September got me and she's going to get you next, buddy.

Posted by: cosmo kramer at September 10, 2012 10:24 PM (vDl/w)

158
Breitbart called out douchebag libertine fucktard Maher's supposed libertarianism in the last bit of this clip http://tinyurl.com/bl6tacw

Posted by: Lurking Canuck at September 10, 2012 10:25 PM (Wk0jV)

159 153
What about Abe Lincoln? He used to wrestle and had great reach.


Posted by: Ben at September 10, 2012 10:24 PM

Do tell !!!

Posted by: Kal Penn at September 10, 2012 10:25 PM (wwsoB)

160
This presidential knife fight thingis an interesting (if twisted) exercise.

I don't know that much about it, but I wonder if TR is being underrated. My thesis is based on the fact that he was the YOUNGEST president - even younger than JFK. IIRC,he was42, while mostwere at LEAST in their 50s. He'd be 10 years younger than most. Of course he hassome legendarymilitary experience as well.

Geo Washington would have done well in his prime, but was born in 1732 and elected in 1788. He would have been 57 when he took office, at a time when people didn't live past 60 very often.

Jackson sounds like a real badass, but how old was he when he was President?

Posted by: Optimizer at September 10, 2012 10:25 PM (As94z)

161 Reagan riding a velociraptor and firing a sub-machingun.



That is all.

http://tinyurl.com/8pa6srh

Posted by: IdowhatIwant at September 10, 2012 10:25 PM (a4CUi)

162 Obama would stab the most people in the back.

Posted by: Ozzie at September 10, 2012 10:24 PM (Gumu6)


He'd try, for sure, but he doesn't have the strength to break cloth with a knife. He'd end up falling on his own knife and blaming whitey ... all of them.

Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair at September 10, 2012 10:25 PM (X3lox)

163 151: Jack Ryan, of course.

Posted by: Jim in Virginia at September 10, 2012 10:25 PM (YQggA)

164 Review: On vacation, me and my family stopped to eat at Scott Van Duzer's Big Apple Pizza Pasta Restaurant in Fort Pierce, Florida. To make a long story short, my family got sick and died. Luckily, I threw up my portion.


Posted by: Sole Survivor at September 10, 2012 10:26 PM (BVkEs)

165 52 I can whip any other President's ass, knife or no knife! That bony old reprobate Jackson will not harm me, as I have the reflexes of a striking cobra! Also, I am a professional EXECUTIONER and have personally hanged two murderers, both suspected Irishmen!

I fear no man, Republican, Democrat, Whig, or Anti-Masonic!
Posted by: Grover FUCKING Cleveland at September 10, 2012 10:04 PM (SShbL)

Or alternatively, you take a "Cleveland steamer" on all their chests.

Posted by: Steff McKee at September 10, 2012 10:26 PM (JEajI)

166 Let me assure you, the president has a big stick

Posted by: Joe Choo Choo Biden The Sherriff at September 10, 2012 10:26 PM (DU15A)

167 Oh God, Berman is calling the Raiders Chargers game.

Posted by: buzzion at September 10, 2012 10:26 PM (GULKT)

168 Knife podium would be TR, Jackson, and Taft from the top down.
I don't have a lot of knife fight experience, but I think it'd be hard to get to Taft's vitals.


Posted by: garrett at September 10, 2012 10:26 PM (0j3R9)

169 "FDR gets a special combat wheelchair. "
FDR's M.O. would be to try to bury the other presidents by rapid-firing New Deal bills and regulations from his special combat wheelchair. If that didn't work, he'd bring out his extra-special weapon - Eleanor in a string bikini.

Posted by: Donna V. at September 10, 2012 10:26 PM (9lzYO)

170 151>>> What about fictional presidents?

President Chuck Norris? The earth will quake.

Posted by: Torch-Wielding Villager at September 10, 2012 10:26 PM (sTS/8)

171 Jefferson Davis vs. Augusto Pinochet: Who do you got?

Posted by: IdowhatIwant at September 10, 2012 10:13 PM (a4CUi)


I stabbed those Cuban backed pussies with my mighty Chilean warcock.

I also look badass in sunglasses.

Posted by: Agusto Pinochet at September 10, 2012 10:27 PM (sZTYJ)

172 >>Obama would stab the most people in the back.
---

Yeah, but can he straighten out that limp wrist.

Posted by: sTevo at September 10, 2012 10:27 PM (VMcEw)

173 Harrison Ford did pretty well throwing that terrorist off of Air Force One- he might be in the mix!

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at September 10, 2012 10:27 PM (hgSh3)

174 Barry will cause a full scale collapse sooner rather than later.

The tide is already beginning to recede when the tables say it should be rising. That's usually a bad sign...unless you're looking to surf a once in a lifetime wave.

Posted by: @PurpAv at September 10, 2012 10:27 PM (uKnGb)

175 Benjamin Franklin is the President that would win. He was the most smartest.

Posted by: Chicago school teacher at September 10, 2012 10:28 PM (fdnD9)

176 Girls aren't participating in no fap month are they? Cause we don't really technically fap.

We'll need extensive video coverage to check this theory. And copies for the East German judges.

Posted by: DaveA at September 10, 2012 10:28 PM (nKOL2)

177 161
Reagan riding a velociraptor and firing a sub-machingun.







That is all.



http://tinyurl.com/8pa6srh





Posted by: IdowhatIwant at September 10, 2012 10:25 PM (a4CUi)


Well I found my new background thank you.

Posted by: Adam at September 10, 2012 10:28 PM (/YJYi)

178 If FDR gets a combat wheelchair, then Reagan should get laser sharks due to his age

Posted by: kbdabear at September 10, 2012 10:28 PM (wwsoB)

179 Chas: Jackson actually cheated!

He took his turn, pulled the trigger, and the pan didn't light.

So instead of ending the duel, as he was supposed to, he pulled the flint back and pulled the trigger again, killing his opponent. I guess he thought he was a dead man, so he intended to take him down with him.

Posted by: Kristophr at September 10, 2012 10:29 PM (0aV2C)

180 171 Jefferson Davis vs. Augusto Pinochet: Who do you got?


I commanded men to do battle and kill their brothers. Who are you to me?

Posted by: BCochran1981 at September 10, 2012 10:29 PM (GEICT)

181 Hey, Carter would kick butt big time, just remember how he whupped that killer bunny.

Posted by: Donna V. at September 10, 2012 10:29 PM (9lzYO)

182 I'm still going with my Calvin "Silent Cal" Coolidge = Ninja theory...

Posted by: The Political Hat at September 10, 2012 10:30 PM (sZTYJ)

183
Jimmy Carter would be the first killed? Amusing, but I dunno. Let's face it - The narcissist-in-chief would do something self-agrandizing and stupid pretty quick. Unless you count boring people to death. Carter was at least in the navy, and would have had somebasic military training.

Plus, Wm H Harrison was pretty old. Reagan was pretty old too, although pretty fit.

Posted by: Optimizer at September 10, 2012 10:30 PM (As94z)

184 I read somewhere that Obama shot his penis off.

Posted by: Craig Poe at September 10, 2012 10:30 PM (BVkEs)

185 Here is how we win that voter.

We tell him the truth. And that his nation needs him to step up and be a Patriot.

There is one thing more important than health. More important than comfort. More important than food. Than shelter. Than life itself.

Honor.

You appeal to his honor, to what it means to be a man, that his nation needs him at this very hour. We will not reject him, nor remove the support that has been granted to him. Because, as a matter of honor, a commitment has been made.

Live free or die. For death is not the worst of evils. In the end, only honor matters. How can he cast a vote for Obama, when Obama has no honor?

Posted by: Hopeless at September 10, 2012 10:30 PM (xutGe)

186 According to biographer Robert Caro, LBJ was a physical coward who went to great lengths to stay out of danger in WWII.

Posted by: frankly at September 10, 2012 10:30 PM (IR3XX)

187 Girls aren't participating in no fap month are they? Cause we don't really technically fap.
Posted by: ParanoidGirlInSeattle at September 10, 2012 10:11 PM (RZ8pf)

Your doing it wrong !

Posted by: Joe Choo Choo Biden The Sherriff at September 10, 2012 10:30 PM (DU15A)

188 Who lays a hand on Abe? He's half a head taller than any of the other competitors and made pocket money wrestling on the river boat circuit. He'd win in a bare hands fight, no question.

Posted by: Lincolntf at September 10, 2012 10:31 PM (HethX)

189 Andrew Jackson tried to horsewhip a guy he got in a fight with and the whole bar had to restrain him and throw him out. Jackson fought 103 duels in his life and won them all. He was 6'2 too as well, that is pretty big for his time. An assassin tried to shoot him, but his gun misfired. So he pulled out a second gun and jammed it in Jackson's gut and it misfired, too. Jackson beat his ass with a cane.

President to president, Andrew Jackson wins a knife fight.

Posted by: Christopher Taylor at September 10, 2012 10:31 PM (r4wIV)

190 Nikki reminds me of the pulp magazine covers on this video clip

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pZWFItQPf_k

Posted by: kbdabear at September 10, 2012 10:31 PM (wwsoB)

191 Watching Fire Down Below. My favorite Marg Helgenberger character. Down home country girl.

Posted by: teej at September 10, 2012 10:31 PM (WY3bD)

192
I think that Chicago Teacher's union president
Karen "Hippo" Lewis could beat all the presidents at once.

And eat most of them, and ask for more, and a raise too, and um..... more benefits..... and more tenure.... and free food, yeah, free dinners for " students" and unlimited buffets at nearby restaurants.... and more stuff, too.
OR we will strike !!!!!!!

Posted by: seamrog at September 10, 2012 10:32 PM (Px6aN)

193 Coolidge?

Posted by: BackwardsBoy at September 10, 2012 10:32 PM (d0Tfm)

194 Millard Fillmore would kill you so fast you wouldn't know what hit ya.

Posted by: Truck Monkey at September 10, 2012 10:32 PM (jucos)

195 He'd win in a bare hands fight, no question.
Posted by: Lincolntf at September 10, 2012 10:31 PM (HethX)


But this is a knife fight.

Posted by: buzzion at September 10, 2012 10:32 PM (GULKT)

196 191 Watching Fire Down Below.

So Marg really was a redhead, eh?

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at September 10, 2012 10:33 PM (hgSh3)

197 #187 I believe you call it flicking the bean.

Posted by: Chicago school teacher at September 10, 2012 10:33 PM (RM1gx)

198 Andrew Jackson not only wins, in short order, but he filets his conquered foes and feeds them to his pigs.

Posted by: Beto at September 10, 2012 10:33 PM (BAnPT)

199 By the way, Andrew Jackson was a bit of a scumbag too, he was the guy responsible for the pointless and evil Trail of Tears.

Posted by: Christopher Taylor at September 10, 2012 10:34 PM (r4wIV)

200 Teddy Roosevelt wins

Posted by: The Jackhole at September 10, 2012 10:34 PM (DU15A)

201 Lincoln gets my vote. Even in middle-age he could hold an axe straight out from the end of the handle with his arm fully extended. It was a campaigning stunt his manager talked him into, part of that 'rail-splitter' shtick Lincoln detested so much. He was immensely strong.

Nixon is underrated, too. Top contender Andrew Jackson always preferred a straight-up duel, man-to-man and eye-to-eye. Meanwhile, Nixon is coming at him sideways, just outside his peripheral vision, distracting him with a hopelessly snared and piteously crying Jimmy Carter.

Posted by: troyriser at September 10, 2012 10:34 PM (ptcFO)

202 I think that Chicago Teacher's union president
Karen "Hippo" Lewis could beat all the presidents at once.

And eat most of them, and ask for more, and a raise too, and um..... more benefits..... and more tenure.... and free food, yeah, free dinners for " students" and unlimited buffets at nearby restaurants.... and more stuff, too.
OR we will strike !!!!!!!

Posted by: seamrog at September 10, 2012 10:32 PM (Px6aN)


Let's see just who would eat who!!!

Posted by: Taft at September 10, 2012 10:34 PM (sZTYJ)

203 Reminder: read the rules carefully before making your wagers.

Once made there are no refunds!

Posted by: Mætenloch at September 10, 2012 10:34 PM (pAlYe)

204 191 Watching Fire Down Below. My favorite Marg Helgenberger character. Down home country girl.



She should get that checked out.

Posted by: BCochran1981 at September 10, 2012 10:35 PM (GEICT)

205 FDR would be the first to have his melon crushed.

What did I win?

Posted by: Fritz at September 10, 2012 10:35 PM (RuVpG)

206 Then we should be debating knife quality. I'll take the longest, sharpest one.

Posted by: Lincolntf at September 10, 2012 10:35 PM (HethX)

207 I'm actually torn between Old Hickory and Teddy Big Sticks.


Jackson was a firebrand who kicked major amounts of ass, no question about it. Where I get stuck though, is Teddy was ACTUALLY shot in the chest during a speech.

He finished the fucking speech.

Posted by: IdowhatIwant at September 10, 2012 10:35 PM (a4CUi)

208 Washington would kill them all in their sleep on Christmas morning.

You could ask the Hessians, except they are all dead.

Posted by: Kristophr at September 10, 2012 10:35 PM (0aV2C)

209 Survey USA has Obama in Washington State at ONLY 54% right now! He is four points down since 2008. I think I was right when I said it earlier that the blue areas are giving him the bounce. The swings and the red states are not budging for him. But with 8% undecided I'm thinking most of that goes to Romney. Our open primaries typically end up 3% more Democrat for the general election. Our final totals were 50% for all the Dems running for governor statewide so in November we may hit 53-54% for Dems barring a major incident not in their favor.

That is very good for Romney considering that McCain only got 41% of the vote in 2008 to Obama's 58%. We may actually get a 45-47% vote for Romney in Washington State here guys. Yes, this is the best we have to hope for. Do not let your states get all mail voting. The Democrats will control everything and lets just say fraud is rampant. Good signs for us in other states if there is a 4%+ swing.

Posted by: NWConservative at September 10, 2012 10:35 PM (M1gmo)

210 Anybody think they can fuck with me in a VP matchup?

Just try me, bitches!!!

Posted by: Aaron Burr at September 10, 2012 10:36 PM (wwsoB)

211 Who would be the first to stab the ring girl, Clinton or Kennedy?

Posted by: garrett at September 10, 2012 10:36 PM (0j3R9)

212 It's all George Washington's fault.

Posted by: Barky McFucknut at September 10, 2012 10:36 PM (BVkEs)

213 Jackson was a firebrand who kicked major amounts of ass, no question about it. Where I get stuck though, is Teddy was ACTUALLY shot in the chest during a speech. He finished the fucking speech.

No fair- he had a copy of Obamacare in his breast pocket.

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at September 10, 2012 10:36 PM (hgSh3)

214 Ok I just ordered a 1/2 dozen LMAMS from ebay, can't wait to play with them.
Lethal Miniature Aerial Munition System

Posted by: Dronezrus at September 10, 2012 10:37 PM (dvLAs)

215 Benjamin Harrison outlasts Carter? .

Posted by: Minuteman at September 10, 2012 10:37 PM (46Ckm)

216 Nikki reminds me of the pulp magazine covers on this video clip

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pZWFItQPf_k


I'm out.

Posted by: Waterhouse at September 10, 2012 10:37 PM (mXE7q)

217 Washington. Not even close.

Posted by: simpleton at September 10, 2012 10:37 PM (za3QZ)

218 >>Teddy was ACTUALLY shot in the chest during a speech.

Also, killed a bear with just a knife.

Posted by: garrett at September 10, 2012 10:37 PM (0j3R9)

219 Just throwing this out here for people who will appreciate it. . . there's this kid on The Voice, Nuyorican, son of a Grammy winning salsa player. He is going on the show to prove he can sing in his own right, prove could make it without his father's name and connections.

Great, kudos, but. . . so it's heroic of him to do this on a reality TV show, but not for the son of a mexican refugee who also wanted to make his own way in the world, ran a big business and the olympics, and how is running for president? Hypocrites. Rant over.

(And yes I know watching the Voice makes me lose my Moron card. I really like Blake, he's a cutie, hush.)

Posted by: LizLem at September 10, 2012 10:37 PM (kDzQY)

220 Franklin Pierce had scissorhands,I wouldn't rule him out.

Posted by: USS Diversity at September 10, 2012 10:37 PM (0CiTm)

221 Millard Fillmore vs. Barack Obama. Discuss.

Posted by: Lincolntf at September 10, 2012 10:37 PM (HethX)

222 I wouldn't put good money on Harrison, he was sick his entire term of presidency. Died of pneumonia weeks after being sworn in.

Posted by: Christopher Taylor at September 10, 2012 10:37 PM (r4wIV)

223 Burr damned near stole the presidency from Jefferson ...

He inveigled an elector into changing votes. One of the federalists deliberately changed his vote to Jefferson to prevent Burr from stealing the Electoral vote.

Posted by: Kristophr at September 10, 2012 10:38 PM (0aV2C)

224 I don't care who triumphs, as a lawyer it's my duty to sue the winner into beggary

Posted by: John Adams at September 10, 2012 10:38 PM (wwsoB)

225
OT, Gerald Vanderleun on 9-11
www.americandigest.org
Uncertain and afraid
As the clever hopes expire
Of a low dishonest decade:
Waves of anger and fear
Circulate over the bright
And darkened lands of the earth,
Obsessing our private lives;
The unmentionable odour of death.

Posted by: Jim in Virginia at September 10, 2012 10:38 PM (YQggA)

226 161>>>Reagan riding a velociraptor and firing a sub-machine gun.

I like the concept, but that's a pretty sorry rendition of Reagan. I'll take this one:

http://tinyurl.com/54s2z4

Posted by: Torch-Wielding Villager at September 10, 2012 10:38 PM (sTS/8)

227 Muldoon into the hole at deep short. Backhands the two hopper, spins and fires it to first for the out. Another sparkling play by the gold glove shortstop.

Posted by: teej at September 10, 2012 10:38 PM (85x54)

228 Yeah. It's Teddy Big Sticks for me. That's my pick.

Posted by: IdowhatIwant at September 10, 2012 10:39 PM (a4CUi)

229 218
>>Teddy was ACTUALLY shot in the chest during a speech.



Also, killed a bear with just a knife.

Posted by: garrett at September 10, 2012 10:37 PM

Just to watch him die

Posted by: Bear in Reno at September 10, 2012 10:39 PM (wwsoB)

230 207 Where I get stuck though, is Teddy was ACTUALLY shot in the chest during a speech.

He finished the fucking speech.


Actually, he was shot in the chest before the speech, then went on and gave the speech anyway.

Which is still pretty badass.

Posted by: rickl at September 10, 2012 10:39 PM (sdi6R)

231 218
>>Teddy was ACTUALLY shot in the chest during a speech.



Also, killed a bear with just a knife.



Yeah, well I thumped a rabbit with a paddle.

Posted by: Jimmah Coward at September 10, 2012 10:39 PM (BVkEs)

232 Millard Fillmore: the role Alec Baldwin was born to play. Look at his picture. It's Alec with gray hair and another 15 pounds.

Posted by: Trimegistus at September 10, 2012 10:39 PM (SShbL)

233 No Fap September?

What commie shit is this?

Posted by: nickless at September 10, 2012 10:40 PM (MMC8r)

234 #47

Lincoln also had a bartender's license, due to the requirements of a business he was a partner in. If spent any time actually tending bar he learned about dealing with a melee situation.

Posted by: epobirs at September 10, 2012 10:40 PM (kcfmt)

235 Posted by: torquewrench at September 10, 2012 10:02 PM (ymG7s)


Those jobs aren't coming back no matter who the President is. We now have machines that can do most jobs more efficiently than people. It is like seeing a bulldozer being driven by one man and thinking that 200 men working to clear that path would be better.

Posted by: Kirk Lazarus at September 10, 2012 10:40 PM (1grxW)

236 Yes but did any of you dodge automatic fire in Sarajevo?? Did you??

Posted by: Hillary Cankles at September 10, 2012 10:40 PM (r4wIV)

237 I agree on Jackson winning...

Also let it be noted I formally protest having to view a picture of Sting in a cod piece.


That is all.

Posted by: TheGarbone at September 10, 2012 10:40 PM (cEDzL)

238 Dwayne Elizondo Mountain Dew Herbert Camacho would win hands down.

Posted by: Hollowpoint at September 10, 2012 10:40 PM (X3vSL)

239 #234

Off you damn dirty beat sock

Posted by: MrCaniac at September 10, 2012 10:40 PM (1grxW)

240 226 I've been savin' up my pocket change to buy that print. It's outstanding.

Posted by: IdowhatIwant at September 10, 2012 10:41 PM (a4CUi)

241 Obama would stab the most people in the back.

Nah. He'd use the knife to make mom-jean cutoff shorts and make the top ten by running like a ninny.

Posted by: t-bird at September 10, 2012 10:41 PM (FcR7P)

242 Teddy R. was shot BEFORE a speech.

Which he then delivered.

Posted by: nickless at September 10, 2012 10:41 PM (MMC8r)

243 re: LBJ and combat.
http://www.b-26mhs.org/archives/manuscripts/lbj_fake_silverstar.html

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at September 10, 2012 10:41 PM (MGQq/)

244 Dwayne Elizondo Mountain Dew Herbert Camacho would win hands down.

I retract my previous vote for Andrew Jackson. This has to be the winner.

Posted by: Christopher Taylor at September 10, 2012 10:41 PM (r4wIV)

245 Thanks teej- I just call 'em like I see 'em.

By the way, the answer is 4590, but I didn't think there was going to be math.

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at September 10, 2012 10:41 PM (hgSh3)

246 What commie shit is this?

Posted by: nickless at September 10, 2012 10:40 PM (MMC8r)


Ace figured out the best way to get Obama out of office was to cut out his (Ace's) #1 contribution to the economy and put girls like me out of business to increase the UE numbers........

Posted by: Amy Reid at September 10, 2012 10:41 PM (/YJYi)

247 Lincoln was a badass grappler. A man's gotta eat.

Posted by: Fritz at September 10, 2012 10:42 PM (RuVpG)

248 No fap September? I declare myself the loser! *fap* *fap* *fap*

Posted by: Holger at September 10, 2012 10:42 PM (MHk3m)

249 That is a pretty good print, I wouldn't mind having it, too. Lot of simleons though.


http://tinyurl.com/54s2z4

Posted by: Christopher Taylor at September 10, 2012 10:42 PM (r4wIV)

250 Stand corrected on the detail. The corrected version of events lends even more baddassedness to my selection in this melee'.

Posted by: IdowhatIwant at September 10, 2012 10:43 PM (a4CUi)

251 "Lincoln also had a bartender's license,"..."And he's the only President with a patent. (Device to lift riverboats, not particularly useful these days).

Posted by: Lincolntf at September 10, 2012 10:43 PM (HethX)

252 I totally failed the "No Fap September" thing. I have already fapped 263 times so far this month. Sorry I let you down guys. But not THAT sorry.

Posted by: Lemmiwinks at September 10, 2012 10:44 PM (SkyIE)

253 Only because Benjamin Franklin was too old (and deeply perverted) to be president!

Posted by: Christopher Taylor at September 10, 2012 10:44 PM (r4wIV)

254 Ooh I smoked a lot of grass, oh lord,

I popped a lot of pills

But I never did nothing

But run the Chicago Teachers Union

Signed,

Karen Lewis

http://tinyurl.com/9o6g2ww (Daily Mail link)

Posted by: GnuBreed at September 10, 2012 10:44 PM (ccXZP)

255 So first there's "no fap September", followed by a sexy pin-up girl.

I'm out.

Posted by: OregonMuse at September 10, 2012 10:44 PM (nvgvn)

256 So, the question that must now be put to Bill Maher is who would have his job in genuine meritocracy. Now that he has admitted his success is pure luck, that is.

Posted by: epobirs at September 10, 2012 10:45 PM (kcfmt)

257 Anybody think they can fuck with me in a VP matchup?

Just try me, bitches!!!



Posted by: Aaron Burr at September 10, 2012 10:36 PM (wwsoB)

Its a trap.

Posted by: Alexander Hamilton at September 10, 2012 10:45 PM (AUeaU)

258 Those jobs aren't coming back no matter who the
President is. We now have machines that can do most jobs more
efficiently than people. It is like seeing a bulldozer being driven by
one man and thinking that 200 men working to clear that path would be
better.


Posted by: Kirk Lazarus at September 10, 2012 10:40 PM

It would have done me some good

Posted by: Rachel Corrie at September 10, 2012 10:45 PM (wwsoB)

259 209 NWConservative,
Are you kidding yourself?
You know full-well how King County counts votes.
They are the prime example of Stalin's; "It's not who votes that counts, but who counts the votes!"
They will re-count until the required number of votes have been recovered from car-trunks, file-cabinets, the stomach of six-gilled sharks caught in Puget Sound, etc...

Posted by: ChrisP at September 10, 2012 10:46 PM (t0yc8)

260
Kristophr at September 10, 2012 10:29 PM (0aV2C)

have never heard atht BS story before. cheating in a duel back in those days got you killed. that was part of what seconds were for. and if jackson had misfired dickinson wouldnt have stood and allowed him a shot.

and as for the poster saying teh trail of tears was un-necessary; your full of crap. those indians were a conquered nation, they were given the chance to assimilate and they refused. thats the price you pay. this whole nation within a nation bullshit dreamed up by later gov't have done more to harm the indians than to help them.

Posted by: chas at September 10, 2012 10:47 PM (Dpiaa)

261 Washington state is also one of the retard states that pledges all its EV to the winner of the "national popular vote".

If Romney can squeak out a popular vote victory, but otherwise lose due to EV distributions non-popular vote states, that shit them dems put in place in some states when Gore lost would come back to bite them in the ass in a major way.

AFAIK, Hawaii, Illinois, Maryland and New Jersey are participating in this popular vote allocation of EV's.

People are forgetting -- this retard policy MAY be a way for Romney to landslide the EV he would otherwise lose if those states weren't so stupid.

Of course the Dems would suddenly have a change of heart on election night about the EC and try to undo this potentially suicidal policy after the fact.

Posted by: @PurpAv at September 10, 2012 10:47 PM (uKnGb)

262 Sooooo, just stumbled into a couple walls. Hello ambien.

Posted by: BCochran1981 at September 10, 2012 10:47 PM (GEICT)

263 Those jobs aren't coming back no matter who the President is. We now have machines that can do most jobs more efficiently than people. It is like seeing a bulldozer being driven by one man and thinking that 200 men working to clear that path would be better.

Yeah, wake me up when these machines start programming themselves.

These jobs will return, all we need is is some folk in Washington who'll get the government out of the way. Funny how they bleat about "diversity" everywhere except in the job market.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy at September 10, 2012 10:47 PM (d0Tfm)

264 I wouldn't put good money on Harrison, he was sick his entire term of presidency. Died of pneumonia weeks after being sworn in.

Posted by: Christopher Taylor at September 10, 2012 10:37 PM (r4wIV)


Remember, that fatal maladies would be cured. He fought for year in indian territory back when the Army didn't have the huge advantage that it got later in the century.

Posted by: The Political Hat at September 10, 2012 10:47 PM (sZTYJ)

265 Save that nut for November.

Posted by: derit at September 10, 2012 10:48 PM (ruiF1)

266 This no fap September business. Might it have had more effect if it had been mentioned prominently in August? I don't remember but chances are I was out of the running a few minutes after midnight on the 1st. It helps me get to sleep. And wake up in the morning. And keep going in the afternoon.

Posted by: epobirs at September 10, 2012 10:48 PM (kcfmt)

267 Taft was obese. He would just have to sit on his opponent to crush him.

Posted by: weighing in at September 10, 2012 10:49 PM (YQHqe)

268 I made the mistake of readingthe 5th gradeAmerican History textbook today. Apparently, and I am not making this up, the West Africans were a very peaceful band of people who would never have considered enslaving rival tribes if it weren't for the evil tempation of guns and sugar that the horrible Europeans offered them. They were helpless to resist.


Also, by the way, Ferdinand and Isabella were not only awful people for sending Columbus to kill Indians with smallpox, but they defeated the peaceful and educated Muslims and the poor Muslim leader of Granada "sighed as he handed over the keys to the city"

Posted by: ParanoidGirlInSeattle at September 10, 2012 10:49 PM (RZ8pf)

269 Lincoln.

He hunted vampires FFS.

Posted by: Hopeless at September 10, 2012 10:49 PM (xutGe)

270 You know who we're forgetting? Gerald Ford. Collegiate boxer and football player with offers from the NFL before he started coaching at Yale. Also a Navy vet.

Posted by: Lincolntf at September 10, 2012 10:49 PM (HethX)

271 Mister we could use a man like Benedict Arnold again.....

Posted by: DNC Bunker at September 10, 2012 10:49 PM (BVkEs)

272
"189 Andrew Jackson tried to horsewhip a guy he got in a fight with and the whole bar had to restrain him and throw him out. Jackson fought 103 duels in his life and won them all. He was 6'2 too as well, that is pretty big for his time. An assassin tried to shoot him, but his gun misfired. So he pulled out a second gun and jammed it in Jackson's gut and it misfired, too. Jackson beat his ass with a cane.

President to president, Andrew Jackson wins a knife fight."

OK, I'm sold. The stories on Teddy are pretty badass, too. I'll vote him #2. Lincoln sounds like maybe a good #3. I'm kinda surprised at how badassy a bunch of these guys were, for guys with a desk job.

What's the deal with Fillmore, something of a "favorite son" 'round here?

Posted by: Optimizer at September 10, 2012 10:49 PM (As94z)

273 Yeah, wake me up when these machines start programming themselves.



Posted by: BackwardsBoy at September 10, 2012 10:47 PM

Nothing to see here, just hit the snooze button

Posted by: Skynet at September 10, 2012 10:50 PM (wwsoB)

274 Not sure if any of you morons have seen this, but in light of the recent resurgence of interest in Honey Boo Boo, I present this: http://www.cracked.com/blog/4-ways-honey-boo-boo-redeemed-reality-tv

Apparently, it's not as bad as it would seem to be. Color me surprised.

Posted by: The Ghost of Flannery O'Connor at September 10, 2012 10:50 PM (WE5bx)

275 g'evenin', 'rons

Posted by: AltonJackson at September 10, 2012 10:50 PM (JMmQ9)

276 266 This no fap September business. Might it have had more effect if it had been mentioned prominently in August? I don't remember but chances are I was out of the running a few minutes after midnight on the 1st. It helps me get to sleep. And wake up in the morning. And keep going in the afternoon.

Posted by: epobirs at September 10, 2012 10:48 PM (kcfmt)


Okay according to the judges the clock didn't technically start on this blog until ace posted his no pr0n post.

Posted by: Mætenloch at September 10, 2012 10:50 PM (pAlYe)

277 Washington state is also one of the retard states that pledges all its EV to the winner of the "national popular vote".

Posted by: @PurpAv at September 10, 2012 10:47 PM (uKnGb)


I thought that that didn't go into effect until enough states to total 270 EV or more signed on?

Posted by: The Political Hat at September 10, 2012 10:50 PM (sZTYJ)

278 260 Yes,of course if there was no enforcemennt what would stop one duelist from turning and firing immediately without pacing off the correct distance.

Posted by: steevy at September 10, 2012 10:51 PM (6o4Fb)

279
I made the mistake of reading the 5th gradeAmerican History textbook today.
-----
Who's the publisher?

Posted by: USS Diversity at September 10, 2012 10:51 PM (0CiTm)

280 In a Vice Presidents' fight, I'll eat someone's liver.

Posted by: Hannibal Hamlin at September 10, 2012 10:51 PM (SShbL)

281 270
You know who we're forgetting? Gerald Ford. Collegiate boxer and
football player with offers from the NFL before he started coaching at
Yale. Also a Navy vet.

Posted by: Lincolntf at September 10, 2012 10:49 PM (HethX)


I believe Ford went on to lead the Detroit Lions to a Superbowl championship.

Posted by: Craig Poe at September 10, 2012 10:51 PM (BVkEs)

282 Seamus, you tied the "collar and the cuffs matching" out of "fire down below" and that was well played. I was the one callin' it like I saw it.

Posted by: teej at September 10, 2012 10:52 PM (Xfofp)

283 Are you kidding yourself?
You know full-well how King County counts votes.
They are the prime example of Stalin's; "It's not who votes that counts, but who counts the votes!"
They
will re-count until the required number of votes have been recovered
from car-trunks, file-cabinets, the stomach of six-gilled sharks caught
in Puget Sound, etc...


Posted by: ChrisP at September 10, 2012 10:46 PM (t0yc

Oh I have absolutely no delusions about King County. It's where I live. I am outnumber 3 to 1 here by psychopathic democrats. But, being this close is a good indication for other states. Romney will not take this state. Its has too many Californians here. And besides if the Democrats are already winning, they do not need to cheat as much. It is only when it is close that they bring ALL of King County's votes into play.

Posted by: NWConservative at September 10, 2012 10:52 PM (M1gmo)

284
Personally, I think Eisenhower gets poorer reviews than he should. Yeah, he let Ruskies invade Hungary, but he had the Suez thing...
Has anyine counted, or made an estimate, if Obama has played more golf than all previous presidents combined? I'm thinking he may be close, if not past the sum.

Posted by: Gordian L'Knot at September 10, 2012 10:52 PM (RsuzN)

285 I thought that that didn't go into effect until enough states to total 270 EV or more signed on?

I believe that's correct.

Posted by: Waterhouse at September 10, 2012 10:52 PM (mXE7q)

286
268 I made the mistake of readingthe 5th gradeAmerican History textbook today. Apparently, and I am not making this up, the West Africans were a very peaceful band of people who would never have considered enslaving rival tribes if it weren't for the evil tempation of guns and sugar that the horrible Europeans offered them. They were helpless to resist. Also, by the way, Ferdinand and Isabella were not only awful people for sending Columbus to kill Indians with smallpox, but they defeated the peaceful and educated Muslims and the poor Muslim leader of Granada "sighed as he handed over the keys to the city"
Posted by: ParanoidGirlInSeattle at September 10, 2012 10:49 PM (RZ8pf)


Now my head hurts.

Posted by: buzzion at September 10, 2012 10:52 PM (GULKT)

287 Team Bush, military father -son alliance.

I win.

Suck it bitches.



Posted by: tasker at September 10, 2012 10:52 PM (r2PLg)

288 If there's an overrated QB who is fellated by ESPN, you're seeing him tonight in Phillip Rivers

Posted by: kbdabear at September 10, 2012 10:53 PM (wwsoB)

289 those indians were a conquered nation, they were given the chance to assimilate and they refused.

The Cherokee were one of the few groups that were westernizing and assimilating. They just were on land the US federal government decided they wanted. The Trail of Tears was just awful.

Posted by: Christopher Taylor at September 10, 2012 10:53 PM (r4wIV)

290 Of course, we are all considering straight up fighting. Thinking outside the box perhaps someone like Millard Fillmore, Andrew Johnsonor Martin Van Buren would have an advantage- relative invisibility (historically speaking). Hmmm...

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at September 10, 2012 10:53 PM (hgSh3)

291 Chas:

Sorry to disappoint you, but most of the accounts of the Jackson-Dickinson duel state that Jackson took a second hammerfall ... definitely cheating.

Here is one of the many accounts... just google it up if you want to read more:
http://tinyurl.com/yfbw6mg

And the trail of tears was absolutely unnecessary. The tribe displaced were all civilized. They were farmers. Some even had plantations and kept slaves. Jackson's cronies just wanted the land.


Posted by: Kristophr at September 10, 2012 10:53 PM (0aV2C)

292 235 Posted by: torquewrench at September 10, 2012 10:02 PM (ymG7s)


Those jobs aren't coming back no matter who the President is. We now have machines that can do most jobs more efficiently than people. It is like seeing a bulldozer being driven by one man and thinking that 200 men working to clear that path would be better.


True, but I think torquewrench's point was that the people who were displaced from those jobs are probably more likely to vote to keep their benefits flowing. Which I've maintained for years has been Obama's plan all along: Force as many people as possible to become totally dependent on the government.

We'll find out in two months if that strategy is successful.

Posted by: rickl at September 10, 2012 10:53 PM (sdi6R)

293 Team Bush, military father -son alliance.


====


Two men enter. One man leaves.

Posted by: Thunderdome at September 10, 2012 10:54 PM (a4CUi)

294 I thought that that didn't go into effect until enough states to total 270 EV or more signed on?

Posted by: The Political Hat at September 10, 2012 10:50 PM (sZTYJ)

Right. The Democrats are not that stupid. But Fred Thompson giving them support for this makes me regret supporting him in 2008 (amongst other things).

Posted by: NWConservative at September 10, 2012 10:54 PM (M1gmo)

295
288 If there's an overrated QB who is fellated by ESPN, you're seeing him tonight in Phillip Rivers
Posted by: kbdabear at September 10, 2012 10:53 PM (wwsoB)


Flacco was getting it pretty good in the last game too.

Posted by: buzzion at September 10, 2012 10:54 PM (GULKT)

296 AFAIK, Hawaii, Illinois, Maryland and New Jersey are participating in this popular vote allocation of EV's.


Massachusetts never got around to it, but I so badly wanted to see the the Mass Electoral College cast their votes for Sarah Palin.

Posted by: fluffy at September 10, 2012 10:54 PM (z9HTb)

297 but they defeated the peaceful and educated Muslims

Heh. Who just happened to be in Spain, somehow.

Posted by: Waterhouse at September 10, 2012 10:54 PM (mXE7q)

298 I made the mistake of readingthe 5th gradeAmerican History textbook today.

Sounds like someone has been reading their Zinn books.

Posted by: Christopher Taylor at September 10, 2012 10:54 PM (r4wIV)

299 I read in a niece's textbook that jihad is a peaceful, personal inner struggle. And what makes it worse is she attended a Catholic school.

Posted by: andycanuck at September 10, 2012 10:54 PM (vDl/w)

300 Oklahoma gets the Minnesota Vikings because of its star running back, Adrian Peterson who played at OU.

Colorado gets the Jets to watch Tebow.

Columbia, South Carolina gets the Bears for Gamecock Alshon Jeffery. star power.

Posted by: Interested at September 10, 2012 10:55 PM (qRvXu)

301 No one said Polk? Because Polk.

Posted by: wte9 at September 10, 2012 10:55 PM (6Tcdo)

302
202

Racist, don't you touch my vajajay-ja !

Posted by: seamrog at September 10, 2012 10:55 PM (Px6aN)

303 293 Team Bush, military father -son alliance.


====


Two men enter. One man leaves.
Posted by: Thunderdome at September 10, 2012 10:54 PM (a4CUi)

___________________


The hell if alliances wouldn't form, though.

Hmmm...if you had team Republican vs. Demorat which team would have more "players"?

Posted by: tasker at September 10, 2012 10:56 PM (r2PLg)

304 I read in a niece's textbook that jihad is a peaceful, personal inner struggle.

Well that's not completely wrong, it is that - a struggle against sin and toward purity - but its a lot more than that, too.

Posted by: Christopher Taylor at September 10, 2012 10:56 PM (r4wIV)

305 Of course, we are all considering straight up fighting.

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at September 10, 2012 10:53 PM (hgSh3)

Nixon is the one to watch on that score. He'd (expletive deleted) the (expletive deleted) out of all the second-stringers easily enough but don't think he'd do so well once the weak sisters were weeded out, though.

Posted by: troyriser at September 10, 2012 10:56 PM (ptcFO)

306 GOP at a disadvantage on that count. Lincoln being the first....

Posted by: IdowhatIwant at September 10, 2012 10:57 PM (a4CUi)

307 299 No one in the Western world is immune to politcal correct stupidity.It may be our doom.

Posted by: steevy at September 10, 2012 10:57 PM (6o4Fb)

308 "Peaceful inner struggle" is the lesser jihad in the hadiths.

The greater jihad involves killing non-moslems.

Posted by: Kristophr at September 10, 2012 10:57 PM (0aV2C)

309
I'd rather watch a good catfight between first ladies. I'm up in the air as to who would win.



Posted by: bitches bitch-slapping at September 10, 2012 10:57 PM (YQHqe)

310 Well that's not completely wrong, it is that - a struggle against sin and toward purity - but its a lot more than that, too.
Posted by: Christopher Taylor at September 10, 2012 10:56 PM (r4wIV)

Yeah, like bloody mass murder and enslavement.

Posted by: troyriser at September 10, 2012 10:57 PM (ptcFO)

311 By the way, has anyone read Walter Russel Mead's piece on self-driving cars? He thinks that they basically negate the need and any demand for high speed rail. Got a long trip or have to make a drive you're bored with again? Flip on self drive and read a book.

http://tinyurl.com/coyx28a

Posted by: Christopher Taylor at September 10, 2012 10:58 PM (r4wIV)

312 Don't count out Polk


and 'I'm out'

Posted by: Jones in CO at September 10, 2012 10:58 PM (8sCoq)

313 Get "R" Done
Vote Straight Republican

Posted by: Craig Poe, my contribution at September 10, 2012 10:58 PM (BVkEs)

314 I love this question. Without a doubt TR wins the 1900+ bracket. But it's much tougher pre 20th century.

Folks knocking Gerald Ford: he was a specimen in college, though I don't know if he has the killer instinct.

Jimmy Carter at least did some physical labor in his time, unlike our current joke.

James Madison was very small, but I still think he could take Obama. Hell, even Martin Van Buren could probably take Obama.

FDR was confined to a wheelchair, so that's gotta put him in also-ran status.

Ronald Reagan was a big guy, and I've seen him slap Angie Dickinson around pretty good. He could probably win the post WWII bracket. It would be between him and Ike.

Posted by: Nicholas Kronos at September 10, 2012 10:58 PM (dN5sa)

315 That won't work as long as their are manual cars on the highway.

People will figure out how to fool auto-driving cars into accidents.

Posted by: Kristophr at September 10, 2012 10:59 PM (0aV2C)

316 I thought that that didn't go into effect until enough states to total 270 EV or more signed on?

Its pointless if someone has enough to win outright in the EC without them though. What would they do if neither candidate managed to get to 270 without these states?

Posted by: @PurpAv at September 10, 2012 10:59 PM (uKnGb)

317 Keep in mind that in any fight, Obama fights dirty in that Chicago thuggish way of his. Plus he'd have the MSM in the stands rooting for him. In fact, they'd declare him the winner before the fight began.

Posted by: put up your flukes at September 10, 2012 11:00 PM (YQHqe)

318 GOP at a disadvantage on that count. Lincoln being the first....
Posted by: IdowhatIwant at September 10, 2012 10:57 PM (a4CUi

____________________________


Ya, but the older guys are unhealthy midgets, with reduced life expectancy and missing teeth.

Posted by: tasker at September 10, 2012 11:00 PM (r2PLg)

319 Posted by: Kristophr at September 10, 2012 10:53 PM (0aV2C)



So he's a heartless, ruthless, calculating bastard? That settles it. I want JACKSON!!!

Posted by: BCochran1981 at September 10, 2012 11:01 PM (GEICT)

320 Republicans started with Lincoln in terms of presidents but they've won a lot more presidencies than democrats ever since.

Posted by: Christopher Taylor at September 10, 2012 11:01 PM (r4wIV)

321 So we toss the MSM into the ring as a warm-up exercise for all the Presidents.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at September 10, 2012 11:01 PM (MGQq/)

322 Its pointless if someone has enough to win outright in the EC without them though. What would they do if neither candidate managed to get to 270 without these states?

Posted by: @PurpAv at September 10, 2012 10:59 PM (uKnGb)


Have the courts award them to the Democrats?

Posted by: The Political Hat at September 10, 2012 11:01 PM (sZTYJ)

323 The funny thing is that the proportional electoral vote split tends to hurt the Dems more than the Republicans. It cuts down their jackpot states.

Posted by: Hannibal Hamlin at September 10, 2012 11:01 PM (SShbL)

324 Obama is even dirtier than most Chicago politicians, because he's not really a politician in the sense that people understand politicians to be.

Posted by: @PurpAv at September 10, 2012 11:01 PM (uKnGb)

325 Jackson would be an improvement.

I'm sure he would not hesitate to nuke Dar Al Islam.

Jackson-Palin in 2012.

Posted by: Kristophr at September 10, 2012 11:01 PM (0aV2C)

326 I'd go with Lincoln simply because after spending years with that crazy bitch of a wife, he'd be itching to kill someone.

Posted by: Bea Arthur's Dick at September 10, 2012 11:02 PM (dM1NM)

327 FDR was confined to a wheelchair, so that's gotta put him in also-ran status.

_____________

BUt FDR has the most relationships through marriage and inbred cousins to the other Presidents--something like that.

Posted by: tasker at September 10, 2012 11:02 PM (r2PLg)

328 Good night all- keep the presidential ruckus to a minimum for us old folks who have to sleep!

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at September 10, 2012 11:02 PM (hgSh3)

329 @311 I'm still waiting for those hovercars that were promised to us by the futurists about 50 or so years ago.

Posted by: beam me along, scottie at September 10, 2012 11:03 PM (YQHqe)

330 Lincoln's wife was far more violent than he was, that's for sure.

Posted by: Kristophr at September 10, 2012 11:03 PM (0aV2C)

331 Bah, who needs pron anyways. Why, I can remember when I could nut using nothing but my mind -- it's called a wet dream. Note that I didn't claim I did it on purpose. Repeatedly.

Besides, National Geographics magazines aren't porn. The Supreme Court said so. It's supposed to be no porn, not no fapping dammit.

Posted by: GnuBreed at September 10, 2012 11:03 PM (ccXZP)

332 The publisher is TCI. The series is called "Social Studies Alive" their claim to fame is adding all of these "personal" stories to illustrate their points. Like in 3rd grade there was a bunch of stuff about Cesar Chavez.

Of course I am exaggerating, slightly, for emphasis. But the Muslim part is close to word for word and the "sighed as he handed over the keys" is a direct quote.

Posted by: ParanoidGirlInSeattle at September 10, 2012 11:03 PM (RZ8pf)

333 Just sayin....if we got all pre-GOP federalists too, I'd consider it a fair comparison.


Plus Millard Filmore: Greatest Ninja Whig evar.

Posted by: IdowhatIwant at September 10, 2012 11:04 PM (a4CUi)

334 People will figure out how to fool auto-driving cars into accidents.

Why the heck would anyone even consider doing that? You can get other people to crash now if you want to, but there's not some rash of collision-inducing maniacs on the highway.

Posted by: Christopher Taylor at September 10, 2012 11:04 PM (r4wIV)

335 > Keep in mind that in any fight, Obama fights dirty in that Chicago thuggish way of his.

The only person Obama ever bullied on the record was female.

I can take Obama. I'm sure of that.

A lot of other Presidents I would not want to tangle with.

Obama is a big wuss. I've never read his autobiographies, but does he claim to have ever been in an actual fist fight? Look at the pictures of him. No one would have fought him in high school or college because there would have been no glory in it.

Posted by: Nicholas Kronos at September 10, 2012 11:04 PM (dN5sa)

336 330 Lincoln's wife was far more violent than he was, that's for sure.
Posted by: Kristophr at September 10, 2012 11:03 PM (0aV2C)

_____________________

What we really need for the warm up act is a cage match between Mary Todd and Hillary using found objects in the White House as weapons.

I hear Hillary has a good lamp cannon.

Posted by: tasker at September 10, 2012 11:05 PM (r2PLg)

337 Calvin Coolidge would win.

He would just let the other guys roll into the ditch.

Posted by: AmishDude (some opinions endorsed by Clint Eastwood) at September 10, 2012 11:05 PM (T0NGe)

338 Christopher: Trust me ... some asshole will do it, if only to fake whiplash and sue the automatic car maker afterward.

hell, some psychos will do it for kicks, like assholes throwing bricks off overpasses.

Posted by: Kristophr at September 10, 2012 11:05 PM (0aV2C)

339 334

Insurance fraudsters abound doing just that very thing.

Posted by: IdowhatIwant at September 10, 2012 11:06 PM (a4CUi)

340 Don't fap to this

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=endscreen&v=yLSSpzgSCso&NR=1

Posted by: Boomer Redneque at September 10, 2012 11:06 PM (eQnzo)

341 hi all
hmm, the No Fap calendar placed directly next to the pin-up girl seems to send a mixed message, Maet
what exactly are you suggesting?

Posted by: chemjeff at September 10, 2012 11:06 PM (d/5qf)

342 191 Watching Fire Down Below.

So Marg really was a redhead, eh?
Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at September 10, 2012 10:33 PM (hgSh3)





When Lindsay Lohan finally does porn, it'll have the same title. Bet on it.

'sup jackwagons

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at September 10, 2012 11:07 PM (Rhie+)

343 Obama would roll into a ball and weep.Mooch would put up a way better fight.

Posted by: steevy at September 10, 2012 11:07 PM (6o4Fb)

344 and the "sighed as he handed over the keys" is a direct quote.
Posted by: ParanoidGirlInSeattle at September 10, 2012 11:03 PM (RZ8pf)


Perhaps he acutally did. But that's more of something that should be in a book that is 300 pages dedicated just to that piece of history, and not a 5th grader's text book.

Posted by: buzzion at September 10, 2012 11:07 PM (GULKT)

345 I think Washington wins just by being Washington.

He was a great warrior, and who wants to be the guy who shanked The Father of Our Nation?

Well, I can think of one, but he'd be out early anyway...

Posted by: Palandine at September 10, 2012 11:07 PM (g7D8V)

346 I'd settle for Warren Harding in 2012. Seriously: he ended the post-WWI recession, cut taxes (and increased revenue by doing so), reduced unemployment by 10 percent, cut spending, and started the economic boom of the 1920s. Not bad.

Posted by: Trimegistus at September 10, 2012 11:07 PM (SShbL)

347 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=paMulmvrlbc

Jackson puts me in mind of this Yosemite Sam clip. We could use a guy like that again.

Posted by: epobirs at September 10, 2012 11:08 PM (kcfmt)

348 So, that audition for my favorite game show today?
Nailed it like Chris Knight on Jerry Hathaway's physics final.
Nailed it like Bill Clinton on Durleen, the Jagermeister shot girl.
Nailed it like centurion Hammerus Maximus on that uppity Jewish boy.

I firmly believe I scored 100% on the laughably easy written test.
Didn't fumble the mock game play.
Charmed on the interview.
Wore a dress, makeup and heels.
Unfortunately, the entire room was also awesome.

They tell you absolutely nothing about how you did or where you stand in the scheme of things, just a yea or nay. I'm officially in the pool, which isn't a guarantee to appear. I may or may not get an invite in the next 18 months. I may or may not be able to skip school obligations on the date proffered, or negotiate an alternate date. Too many maybes to start worrying. But I'm proud tonight.

I'm not mentioning the program by name, and I'm hiding behind the uncrackable code name below because confidentiality yada yada yada. It wouldn't help to attach any identifying detail to this comment.

But if you were rooting for me, the angel Moroni heard your prayers. Thanks.


Posted by: Small Girl Orthographer at September 10, 2012 11:08 PM (a5ljo)

349 Evening.


Don't know if anyone has mentioned Maureen (Dull) Dowd scathing column yet. She pretty much rips Oblowme for blaming everyone but himself for his dismal record. Sorry can't link, besides I wouldn't want to link to NYT

Posted by: Ma Bell, now R squared at September 10, 2012 11:08 PM (uVuwp)

350 Obama wouldn't even win a fist-fight with his wife.

As an aside, Miss September is very fetching.

Posted by: Nicholas Kronos at September 10, 2012 11:09 PM (dN5sa)

351 No one would have fought him in high school or college because there would have been no glory in it.

Yeah, who wants to brag about beating up a skinny stoner? Not that he wouldn't deserve it, mind you. Actually, a good ass-whuppin' or two would've done him some good.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy at September 10, 2012 11:09 PM (d0Tfm)

352 Jim Bowie wins. I think Chuck Norris would have trouble with him, in a knife fight.

Posted by: nikkolai at September 10, 2012 11:09 PM (pSsN0)

353
How about a little roll in the hay?

Posted by: Teri Garr in Young Frankenstein channeling Calendar Girl at September 10, 2012 11:10 PM (YQHqe)

354 Nixon was always a sneaky little shit. Treachery, not skill, takes him to the final four.

Posted by: Small Girl Orthographer at September 10, 2012 11:10 PM (a5ljo)

355
"261 Washington state is also one of the retard states that pledges all its EV to the winner of the "national popular vote".

If Romney can squeak out a popular vote victory, but otherwise lose due to EV distributions non-popular vote states, that shit them dems put in place in some states when Gore lost would come back to bite them in the ass in a major way.

AFAIK, Hawaii, Illinois, Maryland and New Jersey are participating in this popular vote allocation of EV's.

People are forgetting -- this retard policy MAY be a way for Romney to landslide the EV he would otherwise lose if those states weren't so stupid.

Of course the Dems would suddenly have a change of heart on election night about the EC and try to undo this potentially suicidal policy after the fact."Hey, PurpAv!I had not heard about that, and you got me looking it up. What I found is called the"National Popular Vote Interstate Compact".

According to Wikipedia, you can add CA, WA, MA, and VT to your list, with NY, PA, and NC thinking about it.

HOWEVER, it adds:"The agreement is to go into effect only when the participating states that have joined the compact together have an absolute majority in the Electoral College."

So when they get enough states to do it, the effect is that the candidate with the most popular votes will always win. But until then, it has NO EFFECT.

Posted by: Optimizer at September 10, 2012 11:10 PM (As94z)

356 Insurance fraudsters abound doing just that very thing.

Which wouldn't make auto drive cars any more vulnerable, especially since they're being programmed to drive defensively; one routine even makes them recover from the usual PIT maneuver by cops.

If someone tried to introduce the automobile now people would whine about highway deaths and shut the whole thing down, I swear.

Posted by: Christopher Taylor at September 10, 2012 11:10 PM (r4wIV)

357 'Night, morons.

Posted by: Trimegistus at September 10, 2012 11:11 PM (SShbL)

358 I put Sept. 17th as Aces' fap day.

Posted by: Corona at September 10, 2012 11:11 PM (fh2Y7)

359
Posted by: Small Girl Orthographer at September 10, 2012 11:08 PM (a5ljo)


I knows who you ares. Good luck.

Posted by: buzzion at September 10, 2012 11:11 PM (GULKT)

360 349

I read that holding my nose. Dowd being the shrill harpy she is.

It's good she's pointing her bile at BO for a change. I only had to question why it took Ms. Knowitall 4 years to figure out he's a blame-shifting con artist?

Posted by: IdowhatIwant at September 10, 2012 11:11 PM (a4CUi)

361
Let my try my part of that again:

Hey, PurpAv!I had not heard about that, and you got me looking it up. What I found is called the"National Popular Vote Interstate Compact".


According to Wikipedia, you can add CA, WA, MA, and VT to your list, with NY, PA, and NC thinking about it.


HOWEVER, it adds:"The agreement is to go into effect only when the participating states that have joined the compact together have an absolute majority in the Electoral College."


So when they get enough states to do it, the effect is that the candidate with the most popular votes will always win. But until then, it has NO EFFECT.

Posted by: Optimizer at September 10, 2012 11:11 PM (As94z)

362 349 Kirsten Powers was on Fox this morning,she dismissed it saying that Dowd never supported Obama.

Posted by: steevy at September 10, 2012 11:12 PM (6o4Fb)

363 You must fap. It's for your health.

Posted by: Your Prostate at September 10, 2012 11:12 PM (dKV5k)

364 Ike in his prime could probably fuk u up too

Posted by: the jack wagon at September 10, 2012 11:12 PM (2CiZb)

365 The thing is, Abraham Lincoln Vampire hunter was fiction, but Lincoln was a legitimate bad ass fighter. \

Posted by: billhedrick at September 10, 2012 11:13 PM (Iu4IG)

366 I am concerned that those speculating that the Chicago teacher's strike is a ploy to boost Obama's re-election are right. That pisses me off. Are there are actually stupid gullible people who will fall for that?


Wait, don't answer that.

Posted by: ParanoidGirlInSeattle at September 10, 2012 11:13 PM (RZ8pf)

367 My auto-drive car would be programmed to go back, administer the coup de grace, and dispose of the evidence.

It's a special option that comes with the double-plus undercoat.

Posted by: epobirs at September 10, 2012 11:13 PM (kcfmt)

368 Way to go small girl. Hope ya get the chance to get in there, give a shout out to the horde, and bring yourself home some $.

Posted by: teej at September 10, 2012 11:14 PM (ZFXqT)

369 BackwardsBoy: Someone would have just kicked him in the ass and said, "Make me a samwich."

No one would have wanted to go mano y mano with him.

Fighting him would have been like fighting a black Screech from Saved by the Bell.

Posted by: Nicholas Kronos at September 10, 2012 11:14 PM (dN5sa)

370 349 Kirsten Powers was on Fox this morning.....


Speaking of fap.....(she's kinda hawt)

Posted by: Craig Poe at September 10, 2012 11:16 PM (BVkEs)

371 Carney said the White House had no comment on the teachers' strike, PGiS. Although that doesn't mean they're not setting the saviour bit up for later.

Posted by: andycanuck at September 10, 2012 11:17 PM (vDl/w)

372 She pretty much rips Oblowme for blaming everyone but himself for his dismal record.

Second/third stage buyer's remorse if she's not defending the purchase anymore.

Posted by: @PurpAv at September 10, 2012 11:17 PM (uKnGb)

373 370 Just remember,she dated Weiner.

Posted by: steevy at September 10, 2012 11:17 PM (6o4Fb)

374 356

Dude, I hate to disagree with you on a topic, but I develop robotics for a living at a very large aerospace firm.

We do this kind of work. If you know what you are doing, every single one of those vector stability, obstacle detection, and obstacle avoidance systems can be defeated. And most of them are junk-fantasy equipment as it is at the moment, as the good equipment is priced waaaaaaaaayyyyyy outside of any consumer's cash-tolerance.

I can jam a GPS receiver with a 9v battery, a $3.50 oscillator and a piece of wire. (Which is why you have to turn off your electronics on an aircraft during no-margin maneuvers like lift-off and landing)

The technology is being hyped, just like everything else in automotive these days.

Posted by: IdowhatIwant at September 10, 2012 11:17 PM (a4CUi)

375 If you hold your breath when you fap, it does not count.

I read the rule book

Posted by: captain fap at September 10, 2012 11:17 PM (2CiZb)

376 What about pundit fights? Would Toure' Niblet and Chris Hayes be part of the women's team or would there be a third category? Ever notice how the twerpy male types in pundit land are invariably on the left? I don't think they're necessarily gay, just dweeby and small.

Posted by: Here, hold my purse at September 10, 2012 11:18 PM (YQHqe)

377 If you hold your breath when you fap, it does not count.

I tried that, didn't work out well for me.

Posted by: David Carradine at September 10, 2012 11:18 PM (r4wIV)

378
My auto-drive car would be programmed to go back, administer the coup de grace, and dispose of the evidence.

Posted by: epobirs at September 10, 2012 11:13 PM (kcfmt)





Rule #2: Double-Tap

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at September 10, 2012 11:19 PM (Rhie+)

379 373
370 Just remember,she dated Weiner.

Posted by: steevy at September 10, 2012 11:17 PM (6o4Fb)


Dang, she's that easy?

Posted by: Craig Poe at September 10, 2012 11:19 PM (BVkEs)

380 If you hold your breath when you fap, it does not count. I read the rule book

Word.

Posted by: David Carradine at September 10, 2012 11:19 PM (d0Tfm)

381
If you hold your breath when you fap, it does not count.



I read the rule book





Posted by: captain fap at September 10, 2012 11:17 PM (2CiZb)

it doesn't count when you jerk it with your left hand after you sat on it for 15 minutes hence why it's called The Stranger

Posted by: The Dude at September 10, 2012 11:19 PM (tw6Ar)

382 @377: Too soon.

Posted by: Small Girl Orthographer at September 10, 2012 11:19 PM (a5ljo)

383 Nothing to see here, just hit the snooze button


Posted by: Skynet at September 10, 2012 10:50 PM (wwsoB)
DOS BITCH!!!

Posted by: Some Anonymous Script kid taking down Skynet at September 10, 2012 11:19 PM (AUeaU)

384 Ah the magic of Hollywood. Segal grabs a beat up old classical from an old guy that's passing out and it turns into a tricked out, flat top Martin.

Posted by: teej at September 10, 2012 11:20 PM (9ek7+)

385 I second not to fuck with Ike.


He is bad ass

Posted by: George Pattton at September 10, 2012 11:20 PM (2CiZb)

386 Maher's show reminds me of the movie "Ass" in Idiocracy.

Posted by: Eisenhorn at September 10, 2012 11:20 PM (OjQYm)

387
Isn't that pin-up poster a little cruel, for the "10 Day" team?

I hope you guys have a LOT of Hillary speech videos - that should cure any problems you might be having. I just hope you can bring that thing back to life at the other end of this, er, experiment...

Posted by: Optimizer at September 10, 2012 11:20 PM (As94z)

388 I've never actually watched Mahar's show from start to finish. I don't think I'm missing much...

Posted by: @PurpAv at September 10, 2012 11:21 PM (uKnGb)

389 That Honey Boo Boo Cracked column is funny.

Posted by: ParanoidGirlInSeattle at September 10, 2012 11:22 PM (RZ8pf)

390 64 My money's on Abe. long reach. always wins in a knife fight!
Posted by: BlackOrchidMissesDagny at September 10, 2012 10:07 PM

Skinny guys fight to the burger.

Posted by: otho at September 10, 2012 11:22 PM (yBF/9)

391 giving up porn has been great for me. I might make it a forever thing.

Obviously, the hallucinations have begun. Something about back pressure.

Posted by: KellyFromMesquite at September 10, 2012 11:22 PM (cQhQZ)

392 Oh, today went on a tour of the Boulevard brewery in KC. It is very large and very cool. Got free beer in their tasting room. Did you know they also make wine? Cool joint.

Posted by: chemjeff at September 10, 2012 11:22 PM (d/5qf)

393 Barry is so metrosexual only a lesbian could love him. He'd drop the icky knife, scream, and run.

Posted by: Not That I'd Know Anything About That at September 10, 2012 11:22 PM (w3qvd)

394 367

U-shaped exhaust clamps with the threads pointing down eliminate the need for inefficent redundancies on fleshy bits.

Economy and ecology merge as blood runs red on the highway to sustain the roadside flora.

Posted by: derit at September 10, 2012 11:23 PM (ruiF1)

395 Rule #2: Double-Tap

Lookit this, kid... something I try and teach all my boys... always put one inna brain!

Posted by: Johnny Caspar at September 10, 2012 11:23 PM (r4wIV)

396 I've never actually watched Mahar's show from start to finish. I don't think I'm missing much...


Posted by: @PurpAv at September 10, 2012 11:21 PM (uKnGb)

first two seasons of Politically Incorrect were good, after that Maher has been shit

Posted by: The Dude at September 10, 2012 11:23 PM (tw6Ar)

397 Well I am not on the "10 Day" team but if I can make it from today through the rest of the month that would be a big victory.

Posted by: chemjeff at September 10, 2012 11:23 PM (d/5qf)

398 Hi all! Gotta brag-I've lost 18 pounds in 6 weeks! Yay me! I'm over halfway to my goal! Carry on.

Posted by: magnolia at September 10, 2012 11:23 PM (3TW2Q)

399 Yeah I kind of liked Politically Incorrect, it was almost as good as Rough Crowd. Maher is a whore.

Posted by: Christopher Taylor at September 10, 2012 11:24 PM (r4wIV)

400 Magnolia, that is awesome!! What have you done to achieve those kind of results?

Posted by: chemjeff at September 10, 2012 11:25 PM (d/5qf)

401
In the Presidential knife fight, I'd back a dark horse: William Henry Harrison. He was an experienced Indian fighter, who'd faced hand-to-hand combat at Tippecanoe and other frontier battles, so he knew how to handle himself in naked-blade melee. My second choice would be Grant: a small man but very tough, a combat veteran in the Mexican War, and one who could fight mercilessly when he had to.


Posted by: Brown Line at September 10, 2012 11:25 PM (zVyMI)

402
Rutherford B. Hayes. Had some combat (Ohio regiment command in Civil War, twice wounded). Probably knew how to swing a sword.

Posted by: furious_a at September 10, 2012 11:25 PM (8lw4l)

403 398
Hi all! Gotta brag-I've lost 18 pounds in 6 weeks! Yay me! I'm over halfway to my goal! Carry on.


Posted by: magnolia at September 10, 2012 11:23 PM (3TW2Q)


Wow. What's the secret?

Posted by: Craig Poe at September 10, 2012 11:25 PM (BVkEs)

404 354 Nixon was always a sneaky little shit. Treachery, not skill, takes him to the final four.
Posted by: Small Girl Orthographer at September 10, 2012 11:10 PM

Pull hair, poke eyes, groin stuff. Whatever he has to do.

Posted by: otho at September 10, 2012 11:26 PM (yBF/9)

405 Posted by: Small Girl Orthographer at September 10, 2012 11:08 PM (a5ljo)

I was impressed. She didn't even gag on the fermented chicken penis.

Posted by: Joe Rogan at September 10, 2012 11:26 PM (0j3R9)

406 CountChocula. Oh wait ... wrong thread.

Posted by: Honey Badger at September 10, 2012 11:26 PM (2J4Qq)

407
Teddy Roosevelt and Andrew Jackson in the final. No doubt.

Neither shrank from confrontation. They craved it. Both were shot in the chest. Neither thought it was a big deal.

Andrew Jackson had natural murder-gifts and the benefit of a target-rich and quasi-legal opportunities to experiment and hone his craft. Tall. Tough. Wiry. Drunk on murder-juice at least 79% of the time, and nobody had the balls to stage an intervention.

Teddy Roosevelt had a more genteel upbringing. A sickly, frail boy, he instinctively knew that murderin' requires physical fitness and diligent study of the murder-arts. So he pushed himself physically and mentally, hardening his body, heart and balls. He lifted weights. He swam. He studied Judo. He went to Africa to kill lions and rhinos, figuring killing men would be easy after that. At San Juan Hill, he gleefully murdered Spaniards by the dozen, and then wept, for there were no more to kill.

Who wins this battle? WE DO. Because just the thought of seeing these two lock horns excites th UUHHHHNNNNNNHHHH!

Posted by: Empire of Jeff at September 10, 2012 11:26 PM (JDIKC)

408 How long's this fight gonna take? I mean, I got needs, and that Obama chick is starting to look pretty good...

Posted by: Bill Clinton at September 10, 2012 11:27 PM (FcR7P)

409
Its pointless if someone has enough to win
outright in the EC without them though. What would they do if neither
candidate managed to get to 270 without these states?


Posted by: @PurpAv at September 10, 2012 10:59 PM (uKnGb)

It is pointless, but it is all about the 2000 Bush election butthurt. It will never go away.

Posted by: MrCaniac at September 10, 2012 11:27 PM (1grxW)

410 Great work over there,keep vacuuming out those baby parts!


President Barack Obama has not met with his jobs council in seven months.

President Barack Obama has missed more than half of his Presidential Daily Briefings, which detail threats to our national security.

But President Barack Obama, who surely has a lot on his plate as his spokesman claims, took time Sunday to call up the head of Planned Parenthood. PP head Cecile Richards tweeted about the meeting.

“Yesterday @BarackObama called to thank PP for all we’re doing. He knows how important this election is for @PPFAQ patients. Let’s win this,” Richards said in her tweet Monday afternoon.

Posted by: steevy at September 10, 2012 11:28 PM (6o4Fb)

411 FDR didn't get polio until he was 40 so by the rules of this game he wouldn't be in a wheelchair. He'd probably team up with Teddy, which would end up dragging that tough SOB down. Lincoln wins.

Posted by: Billy Quizboy at September 10, 2012 11:28 PM (FEzSe)

412
Wow. What's the secret?


Methamphetamines.

Posted by: Alex at September 10, 2012 11:28 PM (hXYID)

413 "Pull hair, poke eyes, groin stuff. Whatever he has to do. "

If those are the rules...Buchy.

Posted by: derit at September 10, 2012 11:28 PM (ruiF1)

414 Appears to be a rash of Facebook spearfishing going on. Two friends of mine have had this happen.
Forbes has an article on it http://www.forbes.com/sites/davidewalt/2012/08/29/facebook-spam-email-spear-phishing/
Glitch allowed scumbag spammers to scrape the contact lists and send emails posing as friends and family to get past spam filters.

Posted by: Flatbush Joe at September 10, 2012 11:28 PM (ZPrif)

415 Christopher Hitchens was the only guest Maher ever had that I went out of my way to catch. I never agreed with much of his politics, but he skewered dumb-asses, including Maher at will. When he shot the whole audience the bird, along with a hearty, "Fuck you, idiots", defending the Bush Iraq policy, I fell out of my chair laughing.

Posted by: IdowhatIwant at September 10, 2012 11:28 PM (a4CUi)

416
I will crush and smother you all 'neath the mighty rolls of my blubber. Plus I have a walrus mustache. Fuck these modern day clean-shaven types. Nancy boys, all of them.



Posted by: Zombie President Taft at September 10, 2012 11:28 PM (YQHqe)

417 373 370 Just remember,she datedfucked Weiner.
Posted by: steevy at September 10, 2012 11:17 PM (6o4Fb)

I'm still ticked that she works at FNC after what she pulled during that scandal. The idiot wench passed on info from him and supported his claim without disclaiming her prior relationship, which was no doubt sexual in nature.

So, I'm done with FNC.

Posted by: Underground Vulgarian at September 10, 2012 11:29 PM (ah92U)

418 I know this is probably some thinking outside of the box, but I got to believe that Obama would make it to the final 2. All he would have to do is promise blow jobs to the winner, voila, he makes it to the end.

Posted by: MrCaniac at September 10, 2012 11:29 PM (1grxW)

419
Rule #2: Double-Tap

Lookit this, kid... something I try and teach all my boys... always put one inna brain!
Posted by: Johnny Caspar at September 10, 2012 11:23 PM (r4wIV)






Yeah, watch out for the high hat, Johnny.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at September 10, 2012 11:30 PM (Rhie+)

420 It is pointless, but it is all about the 2000 Bush election butthurt. It will never go away.

Yeah, the Democrats are going to ride that hobby horse at least a generation. The day they tried to steal the election and failed.

Posted by: Christopher Taylor at September 10, 2012 11:30 PM (r4wIV)

421 President Barack Obama has not met with his jobs council in seven months. President Barack Obama has missed more than half of his Presidential Daily Briefings, which detail threats to our national security. But President Barack Obama, who surely has a lot on his plate as his spokesman claims, took time Sunday to call up the head of Planned Parenthood. PP head Cecile Richards tweeted about the meeting.

Priorities. Now watch this drive. Fore! more years.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy at September 10, 2012 11:30 PM (d0Tfm)

422 414 Appears to be a rash of Facebook spearfishing going on. Two friends of mine have had this happen.
Forbes has an article on it
Posted by: Flatbush Joe at September 10, 2012 11:28 PM (ZPrif)

Jeez. Facebook sure is buggy. It's almost as if it was programmed by a bunch of drunk college students.

Posted by: Underground Vulgarian at September 10, 2012 11:31 PM (ah92U)

423 Andrew Jackson had been shot in duels so many times, he himself said that when he walked he "rattled like a bag of marbles".

Posted by: navybrat at September 10, 2012 11:31 PM (urgS1)

424 -I've lost 18 pounds in 6 weeks! Yay me! I'm over halfway to my goal!

That's a pretty aggressive pace. I've done it, but it means you're on about 800 calories/day.

Posted by: @PurpAv at September 10, 2012 11:31 PM (uKnGb)

425 chemjeff-Thanks! Atkins. I lost 35 pounds in 3 months in 2003 on Atkins, the only diet I have ever done. It just makes sense to me. I was always tiny, until I got pregnant. Then I ballooned! Twice! I kept it off for so many years, then I basically didn't give a damn lol. I'm loving all the bacon, pepperoni, steak, etc, etc!

Posted by: magnolia at September 10, 2012 11:31 PM (3TW2Q)

426 I wouldn't be so quick to write young Barry off. I reckon he'd be a vicious little queen. Evena bender like Barry can do a lot of damage on a coke frenzy with a stilletto. Then there's the smack to keep him on his feet while bleeding. Plus the motivation. Barry would hate those honkeys. He'd wanna cut those bitches, bad.

Posted by: otho at September 10, 2012 11:32 PM (yBF/9)

427
Yeah, the Democrats are going to ride that hobby
horse at least a generation. The day they tried to steal the election
and failed.

Posted by: Christopher Taylor at September 10, 2012 11:30 PM (r4wIV)

It had been 40 years since they stole an election, so the new generation needed one to be shown how to do it.

Posted by: MrCaniac at September 10, 2012 11:32 PM (1grxW)

428 Christopher Hitchens was the only guest Maher ever had that I went out of my way to catch.

Hitchens was a loon when it came to religion but he was a very, very brilliant, educated man and a rare individual of courage and integrity. He was a man to respect, even when he was wrong.

His brother is not quite the intellect but is pretty much of the same cloth. His book on how and why he abandoned communism and became a Christian is pretty great reading.

Posted by: Christopher Taylor at September 10, 2012 11:33 PM (r4wIV)

429 422
414 Appears to be a rash of Facebook spearfishing going on. Two friends of mine have had this happen.

Forbes has an article on it

Posted by: Flatbush Joe at September 10, 2012 11:28 PM (ZPrif)



Jeez. Facebook sure is buggy. It's almost as if it was programmed by a bunch of drunk college students.

Posted by: Underground Vulgarian at September 10, 2012 11:31 PM (ah92U)


And the MSM wonders why the value of Facebook drops daily.

Posted by: MrCaniac at September 10, 2012 11:34 PM (1grxW)

430
Nothing to see here, just hit the snooze button


Posted by: Skynet at September 10, 2012 10:50 PM (wwsoB) <<<<<<

You know why Skynet doesn't scare me? Because I have the Ultimate Weapon against a computer takeover of mankind: this Windows Vista install disk.

Posted by: Empire of Jeff at September 10, 2012 11:34 PM (JDIKC)

431 OK, 'rons 'n 'ettes. B'Gal's getting tired of me helping her watch football. It's bedtime for Bonzo.

Y'all have fun and try not to trash the place, 'k?

Posted by: BackwardsBoy at September 10, 2012 11:35 PM (d0Tfm)

432 He was a man to respect, even when he was wrong


====


Agreed 100%. Sucks he had to check out early.


Goodnight all.

Posted by: IdowhatIwant at September 10, 2012 11:35 PM (a4CUi)

433 Magnolia,

I'm sorry to break the news to you but you didn't actually lose that weight while eating food you enjoy and not going hungry.

Because thermodynamics, that's why.

Posted by: runninrebel at September 10, 2012 11:36 PM (N/1Dm)

434 if you don't mind dealing with Gamestop, some good deals on pc games
http://tinyurl.com/bmtp7sv

Posted by: The Dude at September 10, 2012 11:36 PM (tw6Ar)

435 I don't count calories at all, just carbs. It works, believe me!

Posted by: magnolia at September 10, 2012 11:36 PM (3TW2Q)

436 This Presidential Fight Club thing reminds me of the discussions between the barflies at Cheers or the Super Fans on SNL.

Posted by: Coach Ditka vs. Hurricane Ditka at September 10, 2012 11:38 PM (YQHqe)

437 hmm Shout bringing over Ultra Seven on dvd over here, be nice to replace my boots

Posted by: The Dude at September 10, 2012 11:38 PM (tw6Ar)

438 24
18



America.

We will kill you, in your sleep, on Christmas.



That's just how we roll.

Posted by: Big T Party at September 10, 2012 09:59 PM (EhUTA)


a recurring theme in this book/series.


http://www.amazon.com/Countdown-The-Liberators-Baen/dp/1439134022

Posted by: Jim Bouton at September 10, 2012 11:39 PM (xatoT)

439 magnolia, that is great news! I am glad it is working so great for you.

Posted by: chemjeff at September 10, 2012 11:39 PM (d/5qf)

440 My money's on Abe. The man was an awesome wrestler in his younger years, sported 6'4" of sinewy muscle while wielding a supermean axe, and unlike GW or Jackson, was still fairly young during his presidency. He'd be smart enough to intimidate with his reach and let his colleagues like TR and AJ f**k each other up before putting his reach and blade to good use. That said, if GW were in his wartime prime, my money'd be on him.

Posted by: smokedaddy at September 10, 2012 11:39 PM (lTmpG)

441 How about a high five for James Monroe?

Posted by: Craig Poe at September 10, 2012 11:40 PM (BVkEs)

442
That's a pretty aggressive pace. I've done it, but it means you're on about 800 calories/day.
Posted by: @PurpAv at September 10, 2012 11:31 PM (uKnGb)

That's the "calorie in, calorie out" fallacy.

It's only true in the shallowest sense.

Posted by: HoboJerky, profit of DOOM! at September 10, 2012 11:41 PM (MrM2k)

443 I just watched the DARPA Cheetah robot video. You want to know when I'll be impressed? When the son of a bitch can run at fortyfive miles per hour through a wooded rockpile a man can't even walk through without stumbling. You know, like every white tailed deer in the world can.

Posted by: maddogg at September 10, 2012 11:41 PM (rEyky)

444 436
This Presidential Fight Club thing reminds me of the discussions between the barflies at Cheers or the Super Fans on SNL.

Posted by: Coach Ditka vs. Hurricane Ditka at September 10, 2012 11:38 PM (YQHqe)

You my friend, are a hack.

Posted by: Mini Ditka at September 10, 2012 11:41 PM (1grxW)

445 The only reason I would bet on Abe or AJ over TR is because TR would go all Berserker and deplete his energy too soon.

Posted by: runninrebel at September 10, 2012 11:42 PM (N/1Dm)

446 Of course it works, Magnolia. I was being sarcastic.

The next step for you is paleo. Keep it up!

Posted by: runninrebel at September 10, 2012 11:43 PM (N/1Dm)

447 Michael Moore's Glutton Diet: Eating a bucket of chicken while taking a shit.

Posted by: Craig Poe at September 10, 2012 11:43 PM (BVkEs)

448 I'll slap them all silly!

Posted by: Prez Buchanan, reputed to be gay at September 10, 2012 11:43 PM (YQHqe)

449 The big question about Abe is how well he could take a hit, he never really had to deal with it like Teddy or Old Hickory proved they could.

Posted by: Christopher Taylor at September 10, 2012 11:43 PM (r4wIV)

450 Andrew Jackson did his best work with a cane.

Just saying.

Posted by: Fritz at September 10, 2012 11:45 PM (RuVpG)

451 did ace delete his twitter page?

Posted by: D. Hopper at September 10, 2012 11:46 PM (AVfT8)

452 What the...? Who are all these people and why do they all act like they know me?

Posted by: George Washington at September 10, 2012 11:46 PM (FcR7P)

453 Sounds great Magnolia. More SoulShine Pizza?

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at September 10, 2012 11:46 PM (MGQq/)

454
Posted by: D. Hopper at September 10, 2012 11:46 PM (AVfT

http://tinyurl.com/yfngy4l

Posted by: The Dude at September 10, 2012 11:47 PM (tw6Ar)

455 Watching Sanctum. A fun movie and another cautionary tale about letting leftists anywhere near dangerous missions. I'm sure the idiot Cmaeron doesn't realize it but his movie is a tale of a selfish, leftist twerp who insures that everyone around him dies - and he does it all while being self-righteous, obnoxious and annoying. Just like real life.

Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair at September 10, 2012 11:47 PM (X3lox)

456 BTW, SCOAMF lifting pizza dork is crying now that he's lost most of his business. Turns out coming out as an Obama superfan in Florida isn't a great idea.

Posted by: Ian S. at September 10, 2012 11:48 PM (rPA5/)

457 did ace delete his twitter page?

Nope. I seem to be the only one left, so here you go:
http://twitter.com/aceofspadeshq

Posted by: TR at September 10, 2012 11:48 PM (FcR7P)

458 Besides Barack Hussein Obama, George Armstrong Custer is the greatest president.

Posted by: Chicago High School Grad at September 10, 2012 11:49 PM (BVkEs)

459 Hmmm,American Thinker has an interesting piece about Obama using a fraudulent Social Security number.Go read the affidavit.

Posted by: steevy at September 10, 2012 11:49 PM (6o4Fb)

460 Looks like the reality of the economy might be wearing off the woodys from Bubba's speech;

Race Tightens As Obama Advantage Narrows to 2 Points

http://tinyurl.com/cjwdmxn

Posted by: kbdabear at September 10, 2012 11:49 PM (wwsoB)

461 SCOAMF lifting pizza dork is crying now that he's lost most of his business.

He's whining about boycott, but those are usually organized. I think people just don't care to patronize him, for their own reasons. Life is hard, but what do you expect.

Posted by: Christopher Taylor at September 10, 2012 11:49 PM (r4wIV)

462 Anna, I will always cheat at Soulshine!

Posted by: magnolia at September 10, 2012 11:49 PM (3TW2Q)

463 458 George Armstrong Custer is the greatest president.
Posted by: Chicago High School Grad at September 10, 2012 11:49 PM

Ugh. Paleface speak with forked tongue.

Posted by: Elizabeth Warren at September 10, 2012 11:51 PM (yBF/9)

464 is that poll just an average though, saw it and wasn't sure

Posted by: JParker at September 10, 2012 11:51 PM (8HhF2)

465 okay, gotta hit the hay, big day tomorrow and I'm tired already

good night

Posted by: chemjeff at September 10, 2012 11:52 PM (d/5qf)

466 @461: Yeah, there's no evidence of anything organized, just that a lot of his customers don't want Obama in their pizza (or the Alfredo sauce IYKWIM).

Wonder how he felt about the CFA boycott...

Posted by: Ian S. at September 10, 2012 11:53 PM (rPA5/)

467 Speaking of untenable situations, follow the link on Instapundit to "Bob Woodward inadvertently confirms the coming apocalypse" and be prepared to piss yourselves...

Posted by: Additional Blond Agent at September 10, 2012 11:54 PM (opLk0)

468 no sales of Ghosts of the Abyss
Want it but not for $30. Aliens of the Deep on the other hand I would spend $30 on

Posted by: The Dude at September 10, 2012 11:54 PM (tw6Ar)

469 Washington wins hands down. A contest like this isn't just about proficiency with a knife. It's also about strategy and building alliances to get others to take out the people who are a genuine threat to you.

Posted by: schizoid at September 10, 2012 11:56 PM (IyXZS)

470 7. Further, Affiant sayeth naught.

Austrian?

Posted by: t-bird at September 10, 2012 11:56 PM (FcR7P)

471 Y'all, tomorrow is 9/11. My husband's cousin was Deborah Jacobs Welsh, the lead flight attendant on Flight 93. Very soon after 9/11 I was at my husband's grandmother's funeral and met Deborah's mother. It was sobering, to say the least. We need to never forget, as I am sure you all agree.

Posted by: magnolia at September 10, 2012 11:58 PM (3TW2Q)

472 Thomas Jefferson because we hold it to be self-evident that the pen is mightier than the sword

Posted by: Buzzsaw90 at September 10, 2012 11:59 PM (kzejo)

473 456
BTW, SCOAMF lifting pizza dork is crying now that he's lost most of his
business. Turns out coming out as an Obama superfan in Florida isn't a
great idea.

Posted by: Ian S. at September 10, 2012 11:48 PM (rPA5/)

Funny how all these lefty businesses coming out to support the JEF are starting to struggle, but the ones that say no to him, seem to be doing just fine. http://articles.wdbj7.com/2012-08-16/crumb_33237831

Posted by: MrCaniac at September 11, 2012 12:00 AM (1grxW)

474
magnolia -

+1000 and double ditto!

Posted by: Infidel at September 11, 2012 12:00 AM (bWA6d)

475 I like Slick Willie vs. Tricky Dick in the finals of Presidential Knife Fightapalooza!

Not because their badass, but because they're dirty, conniving and evil. And they play to win baby! Rules are for the 42 dead President's no longer in the tournament.

I see Tricky Dick coming out on top when he hires a prostitute assassin to knife Bill in his sleep the night before their match.

Hey, I said they were dirty little rule breakers.

Posted by: Nukie at September 11, 2012 12:00 AM (AzwZn)

476 We found out Deb was killed when we were in the hospital and my father- in- -law told us. We won't ever forget it.

Posted by: magnolia at September 11, 2012 12:01 AM (3TW2Q)

477 that pizza dude is going to experience the reverse midas touch that obumbles has perfected...

Posted by: D. Hopper at September 11, 2012 12:01 AM (AVfT8)

478 Funny how all these lefty businesses coming out to support the JEF are starting to struggle, but the ones that say no to him, seem to be doing just fine.

Oh, but the race is super close and Obama is winning, winning I tell you!

Posted by: Legacy Media at September 11, 2012 12:02 AM (r4wIV)

479 Thanks, Infidel!

Posted by: magnolia at September 11, 2012 12:03 AM (3TW2Q)

480 Knife fight? Hell, I'd kick all y'alls asses and let you bleed out whilst I ate lunch

Posted by: Jefferson Davis at September 11, 2012 12:03 AM (JMmQ9)

481 hey, what abnout me?

Posted by: Jefferson Davis at September 11, 2012 12:04 AM (kzejo)

482 that pizza dude is going to experience the reverse midas touch that obumbles has perfected...


The fuck you talkin' about?

Posted by: Chicago 2016 Olympic organizing committee at September 11, 2012 12:05 AM (z9HTb)

483 Double-Tap

Isn't there a running over a lawyer joke that goes like that.

badump badump, screech, badump badump


The full road train is a lot of liability away.
Adaptive Cruise and Lane Departure sounds great though. Better mileage, enjoy the scenery, etc.

Full hands off at drafting distance seems like a lot of trust for a little gain.

Posted by: DaveA at September 11, 2012 12:05 AM (nKOL2)

484 Magnolia, amen. Sorry to hear your loss. Sept 11th was and is such a horrible day.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at September 11, 2012 12:05 AM (MGQq/)

485 The thing is, Abraham Lincoln Vampire hunter was fiction

---

Wait, what?

Posted by: mediumheadboy at September 11, 2012 12:06 AM (aHR5E)

486 This will be interesting. Who says Mississippi can't be screwy politically.

http://tinyurl.com/cqd9zte

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at September 11, 2012 12:06 AM (MGQq/)

487 On Maher, there's the Dunning-Kruger Effect to take note of.

Posted by: Aristomenes at September 11, 2012 12:07 AM (45WpZ)

488
479 My 11 year old grandson was here over the weekend. So many of our youngens don't know about 911. My grandson has been mostly raised by his dad. We had a long talk about 9-11-01. He loves the military channel. I hope he got it.

Posted by: Infidel at September 11, 2012 12:08 AM (bWA6d)

489 Dunning-Kruger:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dunning–Kruger_effect

Posted by: Aristomenes at September 11, 2012 12:09 AM (45WpZ)

490 Sorry, the grammer was horrible. I'm tired.

Posted by: Infidel at September 11, 2012 12:09 AM (bWA6d)

491 Mmm, Diane Kruger.

Posted by: Waterhouse at September 11, 2012 12:09 AM (mXE7q)

492 None of the zombie preezies nor contemporary preezies could compete against Zombie Patton and his ivory-handled revolver.

Posted by: "America will not tolerate a loser!" at September 11, 2012 12:12 AM (YQHqe)

493 @481 It was rumored at the time that Jefferson Davis when captured was wearing women's clothing. (Not that there's anything wrong with that.)

Posted by: Here, hold my purse at September 11, 2012 12:15 AM (YQHqe)

494 The Diane Kruger Effect is at odds with No Fap September.

Posted by: Waterhouse at September 11, 2012 12:17 AM (mXE7q)

495 486 Anna,

Palazzo (R) is going to run away with the race no matter who he faces. He had one fear -- that Gene Taylor would rechallenge him from his 2010 defeat. Gene is still fairly popular and Palazzo has made some rookie mistakes in his first term.

Posted by: GnuBreed at September 11, 2012 12:20 AM (ccXZP)

496 I suspect that the different parties might quicky team up, leaving you with
Fereralists
Whigs
Republicans
Democrats
With democrats being the largest group, but putting Abe/Teddy/Ike/Grant/Bushes together. Jackson wouldn't have much support and would be overwhelmed by our killer elite.
That being said, i can easily imagine the Bushes winning it since they would have someone else that they could trust 100% to have their back. Then 41 falls on his knife for his boy.

Posted by: Buzzsaw90 at September 11, 2012 12:21 AM (kzejo)

497 President Curtis LeMay.
Bad ass mfer.


A gal can dream.

Posted by: mpfs at September 11, 2012 12:22 AM (Za17P)

498 It was rumored at the time that Jefferson Davis when captured was wearing women's clothing


The first photoshop?

http://tinyurl.com/d5lzcz2



Posted by: Craig Poe at September 11, 2012 12:23 AM (BVkEs)

499 'Sup? Monday is almost over

Posted by: zeera at September 11, 2012 12:24 AM (XtxRN)

500 Here is a video of Chicago Teachers Union President, Karen Lewis. It will give you some idea what type of person is mentoring Chicago students. Listen to her speak about how proud she is about being fat and smoking marijuana (in front of children). And this is her fine physique before, during an uncontrolled munchie rage, she ate Michael Moore...NQ

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v...

Posted by: gonzotx at September 11, 2012 12:24 AM (4CQjf)

501 that pizza dude is going to experience the reverse midas touch that obumbles has perfected...

Posted by: D. Hopper at September 11, 2012 12:01 AM (AVfT


Precedent Medusa.

With added effeminancy, but the same level of Constitutional ineligibility.

Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair at September 11, 2012 12:25 AM (X3lox)

502 The first photoshop?

http://tinyurl.com/d5lzcz2


Why the boots?

Posted by: Waterhouse at September 11, 2012 12:28 AM (mXE7q)

503 Keep in mind that in any fight, Obama fights dirty in that Chicago thuggish way of his. Plus he'd have the MSM in the stands rooting for him. In fact, they'd declare him the winner before the fight began.

No, Chris Matthews and Keith Olbermann would hold a guy down while Obama stabbed him.

Posted by: OregonMuse at September 11, 2012 12:28 AM (nvgvn)

504 There have been 15 Democrat presidents in all of US history. There have been 18 Republican. Basically once the Republicans became a real party after Lincoln, they've won the great majority of presidencies. If you add in the Democrat-Republican party (Jefferson et al) You add 4 more but what party do they really belong with? The GOP was preceded by the Whig party and they had 4 presidents too.

Basically the Republican Party has been the overall big winner. Looks to add another in 2012.

Posted by: Legacy Media at September 11, 2012 12:29 AM (r4wIV)

505 It was rumored at the time that Jefferson Davis when captured was wearing women's clothing

The first photoshop?

http://tinyurl.com/d5lzcz2

Posted by: Craig Poe at September 11, 2012 12:23 AM (BVkEs)


Rawr!

Posted by: Barney Frank at September 11, 2012 12:30 AM (sZTYJ)

506 The final would be Teddy Roosevelt vs. Jackson. Jackson would win simply because he didn't care if he died and Theodore was named, well, Theodore and everybody called him Teddy.

Posted by: Ag80 at September 11, 2012 12:30 AM (+VsB8)

507
good evening
Da BEARS WON!!!!!!
and the packers lost

all is right in the world
don't h8

Posted by: navycopjoe (Da Bears Win!!! get used to it h8rs) at September 11, 2012 12:34 AM (Shrag)

508
506 The final would be Teddy Roosevelt vs. Jackson. Jackson would win simply because he didn't care if he died and Theodore was named, well, Theodore and everybody called him Teddy.
Posted by: Ag80 at September 11, 2012 12:30 AM (+VsB


Ahem.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WOHPuY88Ry4

Posted by: buzzion at September 11, 2012 12:35 AM (GULKT)

509
No, Chris Matthews and Keith Olbermann would hold a guy down while Obama stabbed him.


Posted by: OregonMuse at September 11, 2012 12:28 AM (nvgvn)

I don't think Obama would be stabbing him with a knife, IYKWIMAITYD.

Posted by: Reggie Love at September 11, 2012 12:36 AM (1grxW)

510 I take back my Washington call. The winner will be some no-name president everyone's forgotten. In order to win this game you have to be good with a knife but not so good that the other presidents feel a need to gang up on you.

Posted by: schizoid at September 11, 2012 12:36 AM (IyXZS)

511 If they were in their prime I say William Henry Harrison or Lincoln.

Posted by: Roy at September 11, 2012 12:36 AM (EuD1c)

512 Good evening.

http://pinterest.com/pin/207095282835260854/

When you scroll down to the pic of Winston Churchill, try to get past it without lingering on...well...just try not to stare.

Posted by: Robert at September 11, 2012 12:37 AM (4ixH5)

513 Accursed sock, begone!

Posted by: Christopher Taylor at September 11, 2012 12:37 AM (r4wIV)

514 http://pinterest.com/pin/207095282834876377/

Well, I thought it was funny.

I really should be doing something like woik.

But I'm sore. And lazy. But mostly sore.

Posted by: Robert at September 11, 2012 12:39 AM (4ixH5)

515 OK, I'm out

I'll take the small victory of being first to sock Jefferson Davis, if only by a few seconds. My "firsts" are few and far in between, so I take 'em when I can get 'em. So, WINNING!!!!

I think I'll go listen to A Time for Choosing (again) {http://tinyurl.com/d4jh6eg} and dream dreams of resolve and determination.

I can dream, can't I?

56 days until we post the eviction notice on the door of 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue.

tomorrow night, mi amigos

Posted by: AltonJackson at September 11, 2012 12:39 AM (JMmQ9)

516 My friend John Adams is a hideous, hermaphroditical character with neither the force and firmness of a man, nor the gentleness and sensibility of a woman.

Posted by: Thomas J., Trash Talker at September 11, 2012 12:39 AM (mXE7q)

517 @516 I resemble that remark!

Posted by: Bawney Fwank at September 11, 2012 12:41 AM (YQHqe)

518 http://pinterest.com/pin/207095282835260854/

Trebek looks like a slightly-dorkier Paul Newman.

Posted by: Waterhouse at September 11, 2012 12:42 AM (mXE7q)

519 And here's a 44 second teaser trailer for Spielberg's new movie on Honest Abe coming out after the election.

http://www.aintitcool.com/node/58245

Posted by: Robert at September 11, 2012 12:43 AM (4ixH5)

520 I'll be curious to see that Spielberg movie about Lincoln that's coming out soon. I've seen the trailer but they didn't make Daniel Day-Lewis' face craggy enough. Reminds me of when Henry Fonda starred as Lincoln. You'd think with the whiz make up artists in Hollywood, they could add some putty to the face and make it resemble him more. I enjoyed the TV movie Gore Vidal's Lincoln. Good acting and writing. It's available on DVD.

Posted by: Lincolnesque at September 11, 2012 12:46 AM (YQHqe)

521 Speaking of Lincoln movies, I understand Killing Lincoln is coming out as a movie on the National Geographic Channel, not sure when.

Posted by: Lincolnesque at September 11, 2012 12:47 AM (YQHqe)

522 @39. I can relate to your friend. There are thousands of Americans who have foundered and landed onSSDI. I imagine a giant percentage of themare not disabled, but find it their only remaining choice. I am on SSDI truly for health reasons. However, I will beg on street corners if need be, in order to get this pukishly pointless infiltrator out of the WH. I cannot be alone. I never dreamed I would be forced to stop working, but it became impossible to hold a job when I could notbe psychic to let my employer know when I would be in the hospital or for how long.
Maybe one way to approach him is that if R/R are elected, and regulations are cut back, jobs and energy independence get us forward-leaning again, all of those part-time/temp jobs currently tied up with the youngest/oldest, will open up. There will also be more high paying blue-collar jobs (energy/manufacturing). I think it is at least worth a conversation. New opportunities and a better future are probable, vs. living a life of under-living.

Posted by: Calyx the Commoner at September 11, 2012 12:49 AM (emHDm)

523 Whose milkshake does Lincoln drink?

Posted by: Waterhouse at September 11, 2012 12:50 AM (mXE7q)

524 Welcome back, mpfs

Posted by: fluffy at September 11, 2012 12:52 AM (z9HTb)

525 OK. I killed the thread.


Say hi to Vic for me.

Posted by: fluffy at September 11, 2012 12:56 AM (z9HTb)

526 Despite his efforts to move the knife fight to an alternate location (with the goal of delaying the action) by claiming a 30% chance of rain, his effort is denied because of the stated rule: "Assume that weather is not a factor."

Regardless, via the efforts of Jarrett and Axlrod, Obama wins by default... corrupt judges disqualify all others.

Afterwards, Obama seeks medical attention for wounds sustained while holding the knife backwards.

Posted by: Disgruntled Lurker at September 11, 2012 12:56 AM (VmuxO)

527 If you say Obama would win a knife fight, you're racist. If you say Obama would lose a knife fight, you're racist.

Posted by: schizoid at September 11, 2012 01:00 AM (IyXZS)

528 309: In a cat fight between first ladies I'll have to go with Abigale Adams. She was a mean tartar who also kept the family farm going. She'd make mince meat of our current FL. Quite possibly very literally.

Posted by: rabidfox at September 11, 2012 01:01 AM (8xQdM)

529 They should make this question a poll. Maybe a March Madness type bracket thing. My dad is big on Presidential history, so this might be just the thing to bring him on this blog. By the way, he said Lincoln but then almost immediately changed it to Jackson.

Posted by: Dave S. at September 11, 2012 01:12 AM (UvR6d)

530 Lincoln used to show his strength even as president by holding an axe outstretched at arms length by the handle.

Lincoln was challenged to a duel once, and chose sabers. This induced his opponent to settle before the duel, as his swishing the thing like a willow switch in his long arms was pretty impressive.

I'd say it would come down to him vs Andy Jackson in the end in a set of physical fights.

Posted by: Oldcat at September 11, 2012 01:12 AM (rzSn3)

531 366 pgis,

Ok I won't. It is not the idiot's fault though. I blamr the Moonbat Simpering Media.

Posted by: sven10077 at September 11, 2012 01:14 AM (LRFds)

532 NEWEST CNN POLL
Obama 52 / Romney 46

WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH THIS COUNTRY!

Are you kidding me? Are there really that many fucking retards in this country?

The latest CNN ORC POLL RELEASED TODAY shows a wider lead for President (cocksucker) Obama than the previous CNN/ORC poll but it is doubly skewed. It massively
under-samples independents while it also over-samples Democratic voters.
The CNN/Opinion Research Corp. poll official reports Obama at 52 to
percent and Mitt Romney at 46 percent. Unskewed, the data reveals a 53 percent to 45 percent lead for Romney.

Wait what? The Poll Heavily Oversampled Democrats with a massive amount and under samples independants horribly too?

Among the Democrats survey, 97 percent favored Obama while three
percent support Romney. The Republicans surveys chose Romney by a 96
percent to two percent margin. Those margins display a high degree of
party loyalty in each party for its candidate, which is plausible in a
campaign like this one where both sides are focusing heavily on boosting
turnout among their base. Independents, who are massively under-sampled
in this survey, support Romney by a 54 percent to 40 percent margin.

The sample for the CNN/ORC poll includes 50.4 percent Democrats and
45.4 percent Republicans and appears to have only 4.2 percent
independents. This means independents are under-sampled 25 percent while
Democrats are over-sampled 12.1 percent. Both of those are larger
variations in sampling than seen in most polls that are likewise skewed
by such sampling variations.

So let me get this straight, this isnt just bullshit, its manufactured bullshit?

Rasmussen Reports recent reporting of partisan trends among voters, based on tens of thousands of voters surveyed, showed the voting
electorate made up of 35.4 percent Republicans, 34.0 percent Democrats
and 30.5 percent “Unaffiliated” or independent voters. Clearly 6.5
percent of a sample as independents is a large under-sampling of those
voters compared to 30.5 percent.

Unskewing this data to make up for the likely 25 percent
under-sampling of independent voters shows the results are quite
different. With the weightings of independents, Democrats and
Republicans conducted by the Rasmussen numbers, this poll's data would
indicate a Romney lead over Obama of 53 percent to 45 percent. That is
almost exactly the reverse of the 52 percent to 46 percent lead it
reports in favor of Obama. The sampling skew of this poll actually
reverses the result that should be shown by the data.

I guess they shouldnt have released their sampling info cause lets be honest, Romney 53 / Obamacocksucker 45 makes a hell of a lot more sense.
SO in fact there are not that many fucking retards in this country. There ARE that many retards in the Obamacocksucker Media though, and they are whats wrong with this country. FUCK YOU MEDIA!

I must say after reading this i have a huge grin on my face and big old woody in my pants....must not touch....i cant wait till this mother fucking incompetant twat is voted out of office. But even more I cant wait to watch all the fucking idiot liberals melting down on MSNBC and CNN and ABC and CBS and NBC. I want more videos like that one we had when Walker wont recall (Democracy Died! WAAAAHAAAA)
November cant come soon enough!


Oh yeah Link:
http://tinyurl.com/8hy6e56

Posted by: jeremiah Gosh Darn Amerikkka Wright at September 11, 2012 01:14 AM (ovpNn)

533 I suspect that the different parties might quicky team up, leaving you with
Fereralists
Whigs
Republicans
Democrats
With democrats being the largest group, but putting Abe/Teddy/Ike/Grant/Bushes together. Jackson wouldn't have much support and would be overwhelmed by our killer elite.
That being said, i can easily imagine the Bushes winning it since they would have someone else that they could trust 100% to have their back. Then 41 falls on his knife for his boy.
Posted by: Buzzsaw90 at September 11, 2012 12:21 AM (kzejo)

Andy would probably knife most of the later Democrats himself. He didn't like elitist fellows.

Posted by: Oldcat at September 11, 2012 01:17 AM (rzSn3)

534 Posted by: jeremiah Gosh Darn Amerikkka Wright at September 11, 2012 01:14 AM (ovpNn)
I hope your right!

Posted by: lous a girl at September 11, 2012 01:19 AM (EPbpF)

535 530 Oldcat,

Teddy crushed barrell kegs, it'd be teddy's proto p90x bod, abe's log splitter lifestyle, and andy's rage fueled fuck you I won't quit endurance.

Abe is not recorded killing anyone, teddy killed for soldiering, andy for soldiering and giggles inasmuch as he ever laughed.

Posted by: sven10077 at September 11, 2012 01:19 AM (LRFds)

536 Oh yeah Link:
http://tinyurl.com/8hy6e56
Posted by: jeremiah Gosh Darn Amerikkka Wright at September 11, 2012 01:14 AM (ovpNn)

to have 97 percent of Democrats vote democratic is a skewed result. It is normally much less, and with results in the primaries 'none of the above' pulling 40 percent in a few places this time around is likely to be far less.

Repubs for Romney is likely to be higher, but unlikely to be 97 percent.

This poll looks to be garbage.

Posted by: Oldcat at September 11, 2012 01:21 AM (rzSn3)

537 They should make this question a poll.

Or one of those shitty "Deadliest Warrior" specials.

"Lincoln's cherrywood cane would have been relatively ineffective against the sonic boom of W's recce F-102 ..."

Posted by: Waterhouse at September 11, 2012 01:22 AM (mXE7q)

538 We should choose our leaders by bloodsport. Enter the ring of fire armed with only a thong and a 5 foot section of 2X4.

You want to send our boys to war and to die for this country? Ok then you have to fight to the death with your opponent for that office.

This approach has many benefits.

No More fat out of shape politicians

No More Politicans concerned more about their skin than the responsibilities of the job.

No more boring talking points.

Obama would get his ass kicked by just about everyone except McCain and that's only cause that old guy cant raise his arms...but he could probably still kick.

Posted by: jeremiah Gosh Darn Amerikkka Wright at September 11, 2012 01:23 AM (ovpNn)

539 James Garfield. One of the most impoverished presidents. Worked his way from literally nothing. River boat tough before he was even full grown. Civil War General. Big guy. Took a bullet in the back and lived for two months. He would have made it if the quack doctors hadn't finished him. His lunatic assassin, in a rare lucid moment before he was hung, said, "I shot Garfield. The doctors killed him."

Posted by: Winston at September 11, 2012 01:23 AM (u3N3z)

540 Coming late to the party, but: George Washington:

- Imposing guy, very physically fit
- Demonstrated extraordinary bravery in battle, multiple times
- Experienced fencer (not the same thing as knife fighting, obviously, but has to be at least some help)
- Could be remarkably cold-blooded when the situation called for it
- Could be very cunning when the situation called for it
- Could be very cool under pressure when the situation called for it (yeah, I know he had a ferocious temper, but this is the same guy who was able to keep his head and direct everybody while the enemy was shooting at him during the Battle of the Monongahela)
- A number of Presidents would probably willingly take a shank for him

Posted by: AD at September 11, 2012 01:23 AM (/D7/G)

541 534
Posted by: jeremiah Gosh Darn Amerikkka Wright at September 11, 2012 01:14 AM (ovpNn)

I hope your right!

Posted by: lous a girl at September 11, 2012 01:19 AM (EPbpF)

Hope is for those suckers who don't want to be masters of their own destiny.

DON'T HOPE, VOTE!

Posted by: jeremiah Gosh Darn Amerikkka Wright at September 11, 2012 01:25 AM (ovpNn)

542 Teddy crushed barrell kegs, it'd be teddy's proto p90x bod, abe's log splitter lifestyle, and andy's rage fueled fuck you I won't quit endurance.

Abe is not recorded killing anyone, teddy killed for soldiering, andy for soldiering and giggles inasmuch as he ever laughed.
Posted by: sven10077 at September 11, 2012 01:19 AM (LRFds)

Teddy was a cavalryman, needed a horse to run away on. Minus 10 points. He had a plush bear named for him. Minus another 10.

The scenario postulates that Abe fight, and he had the physical chops. Booth was very worried that if he didn't kill Abe with one shot, that Abe would beat the crap out of him.

Posted by: Oldcat at September 11, 2012 01:25 AM (rzSn3)

543 I hate Mondays.

Posted by: James Garfield at September 11, 2012 01:25 AM (mXE7q)

544 I don't get no respect.

Posted by: Jimmah Carter at September 11, 2012 01:26 AM (IoNBC)

545 Having thought about it, I've determined Obama would win a fight between all the Presidents because of the fact that he could fly above the fray simply by wiggling his ears and only coming down to fight the last man standing who would be weakened and tired from the melee.

Posted by: Robert at September 11, 2012 01:27 AM (4ixH5)

546 I CAN'T WAIT TILL BARRACK ENDS UP ON THE BACHELOR OR INDONESIAN IDOL! You know he is a pretty good singer! Or Kenya's Got Talent...

Moochelle and her fat government funded vacation addiction is definatly going to be on Celebrity Rehab.

I give it 5 years!

Posted by: jeremiah Gosh Darn Amerikkka Wright at September 11, 2012 01:27 AM (ovpNn)

547 DON'T HOPE, VOTE!
Posted by: jeremiah Gosh Darn Amerikkka Wright at September 11, 2012 01:25 AM (ovpNn)
I vote in every election. I will in this one and the next oneand the next.Until I die, and then the dems will vote for me.

Posted by: lous a girl at September 11, 2012 01:28 AM (EPbpF)

548 You shoulda seen the look in that rabbits eyes when I whacked him. Almost made me lust in my heart.

Posted by: Jimmah Carter at September 11, 2012 01:29 AM (IoNBC)

549 Until I die, and then the dems will vote for me.

Now that's good snark!

Posted by: Waterhouse at September 11, 2012 01:30 AM (mXE7q)

550 But I be done seen 'bout ev'rything
When I see a SCOAMF fly

Posted by: Robert at September 11, 2012 01:30 AM (4ixH5)

551 I just have this feeling in my gut tonight....Romney is going to kick Barfy McFuckface's ass in the debates.

I noticed that they schedule the debate on the economy first so that it would have the least impact on the election and the debate for foriegn policy (Obowma's supposed strong suit) as the last one.

Cause you know President Bow Bow Bow is such a sensational leader and you know he guides those drones himself with his custom made x-box controller.

OSAMA IS DEAD AND THE ECONOMY STILL SUCKS!

Posted by: jeremiah Gosh Darn Amerikkka Wright at September 11, 2012 01:31 AM (ovpNn)

552 I'm available to give Barrack pointers on charisma.

Posted by: Walter Mondale at September 11, 2012 01:32 AM (IoNBC)

553 In the presidential knife fight, Bill Clinton gets gelded early on. Probably trying to keep from getting gelded. I would buy that image on a commemorative plate.

Posted by: BeckoningChasm at September 11, 2012 01:33 AM (i0App)

554 552 I'm available to give Barrack pointers on charisma.

Me too. It's not like I've got anything better to do.

Posted by: AlGore at September 11, 2012 01:33 AM (IoNBC)

555 You guys are just lucky my number wasn't called, or I would have tore all your asses up.

Posted by: Mike Dukakis at September 11, 2012 01:34 AM (UvR6d)

556 Hey Barry--try funny hats!

Posted by: Michael Dukakis at September 11, 2012 01:34 AM (IoNBC)

557 84 Washington was a for real badass warrior but I'd still take Old Hickory
over him. Lincoln was tough but not a fighter, I wouldn't put good odds
on him.

Several have mentioned Lincoln's size and strength, but say he was not a fighter which is definitely NOT true. Lincoln was such a bad-ass, when he was younger that men came to wrestle and fight him from all around. He was funny also. One feller wanted to duel Lincoln, so Lincoln had the choice of weapons. He said, "sledge hammers in 6 feet of water." Lincoln was over 6 feet, the challenger was 5 foot something. Needless to say the opponent declined the duel.

I would say Jackson or Lincoln would win, with a pretty good showing by Washington, who probably had more outright courage than any of our Presidents. Indians thought he was charmed and could not be killed in battle, by the end of the Revolution a hell of a lot of British soldiers thought so also.

Posted by: Jehu at September 11, 2012 01:35 AM (Fkedv)

558 In the presidential knife fight, Bill Clinton gets gelded early on.

Hillary surreptitiously whacks him with a chair and hands a well-honed knife to Juanita.

Posted by: Waterhouse at September 11, 2012 01:35 AM (mXE7q)

559 All i can say is i hope Romney is smart enough to bring the second and the third debates back to the economy over and over.

We cant address social issues with an economy in the toilet. Frank N. Buttfucker and his Boyfriend Ben Dover are jurting too in this economy. Telling you he supports gay marriage personally but wont do shit about it publicly may make you feel good and con you into donating but it wont put food on your plate.

We cant be a strong nation and defend ourselves if we dont become energy independent and keep sending our cash overseas for oil, cash that leaves an already weak economy so that Tali Ababa can buy more camels while Joe the Welfare recipient still cant find a job cause we dont invest in our own oil industry..


Posted by: jeremiah Gosh Darn Amerikkka Wright at September 11, 2012 01:36 AM (ovpNn)

560 Abe Lincoln, hands down. I mean, holy crap. Legend says he could hold an axe by the end of the handle straight out.

The mo-fo was 6' 4".. ex rail splitter, and known as a fighter, although wrestling was more his bag.

Strong, lithe with the reach of someone his height? Jeebus.. I'm bettin' on the man.. Abe! Abe! Abe!

Posted by: Chi-Town Jerry at September 11, 2012 01:36 AM (UTq/I)

561 As much as we hate Slick, you have to remember that he's basically wormed his way into the Bush family.

GHW, Slick, and GW are aligned, and no one else has that manpower - not Teddy and FDR (who'd be out quick, he's a pussy), not even Adams and Quincy Adams (dear old dad would be out quick, but Quincy might last).

First things first - 41, 42, and 43 kill the shit out of Carter.

Clinton also had a real warmth and affinity for Nixon - Clinton goes down via a stab in the back from Tricky Dick

Posted by: The Q at September 11, 2012 01:42 AM (B/yDO)

562 please, how the fuck does 'fighting dirty' or any other ooga-booga bullshit count for anything in a knife fight? it is assumed that since it's a fucking knife fight and someone will die that you will use every advantage. Lay off the cartoons.

Posted by: model_1066 at September 11, 2012 01:43 AM (yYKoR)

563 Lay off the cartoons.

Wot?

Posted by: Waterhouse, ordering springs, anvils and dynamite from the Acme website at September 11, 2012 01:45 AM (mXE7q)

564 not even Adams and Quincy Adams (dear old dad would be out quick, but Quincy might last).

They both go out early...and not even because of their stature. Jackson probably wouldn't consider it a successful fight unless he had been the one to take out the Adamses.

Posted by: AD at September 11, 2012 01:47 AM (/D7/G)

565 I don't know if anyone online tonight follows pro wrestling, but Jerry the King Lawler had a heart attack and possible stroke during tonight's broadcast.

He is alive and resting in a hospital

Posted by: Truman North at September 11, 2012 01:52 AM (I2LwF)

566 Wait, wasn't there a movie sorta like that knifey scenario, only it was a bunch of killers and thugs enticed to a prison, i think....there was a free for all when tons of all types of guns were dropped in their midst...the second to last dude standing was the creepy guy who played Raiden in Moral Kombat....

Posted by: model_1066 at September 11, 2012 01:53 AM (yYKoR)

567 542 Oldcat,

No doubt Abe was a beast, saying he never killed anyone is not the same as daying "wimp", and the guy was a feared catch wrestler. Andrew Jackson had that fire in him that Jim Bowie had, and Teddy was Cav because he chose to go play cowboy, not an efette bent. Frankly I'd quit watching after they all ganged up on Wilson, Carter, an Choom.

Clinton's a cagey enough, ingratiating enough, and smart enough guy to run with the pack on that one, and I'd die happily from a heart attack laughing....

Posted by: sven10077 at September 11, 2012 01:53 AM (LRFds)

568 565
I don't know if anyone online tonight follows pro wrestling, but Jerry
the King Lawler had a heart attack and possible stroke during tonight's
broadcast.



He is alive and resting in a hospital

Posted by: Truman North at September 11, 2012 01:52 AM (I2LwF)

Real or story line?
Sucks for me to say that, but years ago they did a story line on Flair having a heart attack.

Posted by: MrCaniac at September 11, 2012 01:54 AM (1grxW)

569 Couldn't get to sleep so...
My money's on George. Protected by Divine Providence. And sneaky.

Posted by: teej at September 11, 2012 01:54 AM (85x54)

570 565 TN,

God only knows if it's an angle.

Posted by: sven10077 at September 11, 2012 01:55 AM (LRFds)

571 Yeah, if you can't even hit him with the knife, well, Washington has you beat.

Posted by: rdbrewer at September 11, 2012 01:55 AM (Iyg03)

572
A tournament style presidential knife fight is easier to game out to the end,
The top seeds get a buy for the first round of 32, then matchup with the survivors.
My number one seed would have to be Andrew Jackson, after that is not so clear, there were a lot of tough old bastards pre 1900.

Posted by: GT 5.0 at September 11, 2012 01:56 AM (3W1+C)

573 boy, didn't I sound preachy!

I'm still standing by my goon Gerald Ford to win.

Posted by: model_1066 at September 11, 2012 01:57 AM (yYKoR)

574 From some site on Washington, you couldn't hit the guy. Apparently God said so:

Upon Washington's return to Fort Cumberland (120
miles from the battle scene), he wrote a letter to his mother to alay
any fears she would have, as news of the rout had preceded them. On the
same day (July 18, 1755) he also wrote to his brother, John A. Washington:




"As I have heard since my arrival at this place [Fort
Cumberland], a circumstantial account of my death and dying speech, I
take this early opportunity of contradicting the first, and of assuring
you that I have not as yet composed the latter. But, by the all-powerful
dispensations of Providence, I have been protected beyond all human
probability or expectation; for I had four bullets through my coat, and
two horses shot under me, yet escaped unhurt, although death was
leveling my companions on every side of me!"




But wait, it gets even better. 15 years later, an old respected Indian Chief sought out council with Washington, when he heard that he was in the area. Through an interpreter he explained that he had set out on a long journey to meet Washington personally, and to speak to him about the battle 15 years earlier. He said:




"I am a chief and ruler over my tribes. My influence extends to
the waters of the great lakes and to the far blue mountains. I have
traveled a long and weary path that I might see the young warrior of the
great battle. It was on the day when the white man's blood mixed with
the streams of our forest that I first beheld this chief [Washington].
I called to my young men and said, mark yon tall and daring warrior? He
is not of the red-coat tribe--he hath an Indian's wisdom, and his
warriors fight as we do--himself is alone exposed. Quick, let your aim
be certain, and he dies. Our rifles were leveled, rifles which, but
for you, knew not how to miss--'twas all in vain, a power mightier far
than we, shielded you. Seeing you were under the special guardship
of the Great Spirit, we immediately ceased to fire at you. I am old and
soon shall be gathered to the great council fire of my fathers in the
land of shades, but ere I go, there is something bids me speak in the
voice of prophecy. Listen! The Great Spirit protects that man [pointing
at Washington], and guides his destinies--he
will become the chief of nations, and a people yet unborn will hail him
as the founder of a mighty empire. I am come to pay homage to the man who is the particular favorite of Heaven, and who can never die in battle."

Posted by: rdbrewer at September 11, 2012 01:58 AM (Iyg03)

575 If anything, Jackson might be in trouble because he'd be too distracted by killing people on his list.

The Adamses, W.H. Harrison, every elitist prick that came beforehand (he's looking at you, TJ and Madison) and after (Wilson and FDR would be SO on his list).

We all know that, once 5 or 6 bodies were on the ground, Nixon would be hiding under them until everyone else was killed off

Posted by: The Q at September 11, 2012 02:00 AM (B/yDO)

576 Real or story line?
Sucks for me to say that, but years ago they did a story line on Flair having a heart attack.

Posted by: MrCaniac at September 11, 2012 01:54 AM (1grxW)

Checked it out, looks legit.

Posted by: Robert at September 11, 2012 02:00 AM (4ixH5)

577 Ulysses S. Grant. Hands down. He would have gutted the rest like butcher calves.

Posted by: Harry Reid at September 11, 2012 02:02 AM (AREf/)

578 From some site on Washington, you couldn't hit the guy. Apparently God said soosted by: rdbrewer

Ultimately God hated Lincoln, Garfield, and JFK then, right?

Posted by: weft cut-loop at September 11, 2012 02:03 AM (NRwWP)

579 574
From some site on Washington, you couldn't hit the guy. Apparently God said so:

apparently, the cavity creeps are beyond the realm of God.

Posted by: model_1066 at September 11, 2012 02:03 AM (yYKoR)

580 575 the Q,

Andy Jackson had a private grudge with England.


Literally, all England, "Bob Jones your end is nigh!"

First name basis grudge.

Posted by: sven10077 at September 11, 2012 02:03 AM (LRFds)

581 No doubt Abe was a beast, saying he never killed anyone is not the same as daying "wimp", and the guy was a feared catch wrestler. Andrew Jackson had that fire in him that Jim Bowie had, and Teddy was Cav because he chose to go play cowboy, not an efette bent. Frankly I'd quit watching after they all ganged up on Wilson, Carter, an Choom.

Clinton's a cagey enough, ingratiating enough, and smart enough guy to run with the pack on that one, and I'd die happily from a heart attack laughing....
Posted by: sven10077 at September 11, 2012 01:53 AM (LRFds)

I just think Teddy was a guy who affected being a wild guy. If the competition was horse riding, Grant wins, but Teddy would be higher. Shooting, or hunting, ok Teddy. I just think the real frontier guys have an advantage in a physical knife fight from experience. And Lincoln had inches on everyone but the late 20th century guys. And he was known for being strong for his size.

George Washington, Wm Harrison, also probably have an edge from this.

Posted by: Oldcat at September 11, 2012 02:05 AM (rzSn3)

582 JFK would have been the last man standing after his daddy had all the others killed. And then he'd take Nikki for a roll in the hay.

Posted by: Parking Lot Bozo at September 11, 2012 02:06 AM (DC1tz)

583 From some site on Washington, you couldn't hit the guy. Apparently God said so:


Posted by: rdbrewer at September 11, 2012 01:58 AM (Iyg03)

But since nobody is shooting at him here, this isn't an issue.

Posted by: Oldcat at September 11, 2012 02:08 AM (rzSn3)

584 They should make a movie about Washington. What an exciting, full life. Some recent study said he was one of the wealthiest people in the world. Worth something like half a billion in today's money.

He could have made himself king. And he kept his generals from doing just that.

In pure badassery, he has no equal.

Posted by: rdbrewer at September 11, 2012 02:09 AM (Iyg03)

585 They should make a movie about Washington. What an exciting, full life. Some recent study said he was one of the wealthiest people in the world. Worth something like half a billion in today's money.

He could have made himself king. And he kept his generals from doing just that.

In pure badassery, he has no equal.
Posted by: rdbrewer at September 11, 2012 02:09 AM (Iyg03)

He bought up Ohio and West PA, more or less.

Posted by: Oldcat at September 11, 2012 02:10 AM (rzSn3)

586 Evening, fappers and non-fappers alike!

Ol' Hick'ry in a walk. That is, if he had the stones to cut Washington. That'd be asking a lot.

Posted by: DC in Towson, wearing his Tough Mudder headband at September 11, 2012 02:10 AM (CJwi5)

587 I think the Presidents would come to the conclusion that the American Presidency should not be sullied so Hollyweirdishly ...

well. mostly ...

Posted by: a cynical but rarely angry Adriane at September 11, 2012 02:11 AM (/OhbZ)

588 I think the Presidents would come to the conclusion that the American Presidency should not be sullied so Hollyweirdishly ...

well. mostly ...
Posted by: a cynical but rarely angry Adriane at September 11, 2012 02:11 AM (/OhbZ)


That's the beauty of Andy Jackson...he'd enjoy the process.

Posted by: Oldcat at September 11, 2012 02:12 AM (rzSn3)

589 From wikipedia:

Cornwallis refused to meet formally with Washington, and also refused to come to the ceremony of surrender, claiming illness. Instead, Brigadier General Charles O'Hara presented the sword of surrender to Rochambeau. Rochambeau shook his head and pointed to Washington. O'Hara offered it to Washington, but he refused to accept it, and
motioned to his second in command, Benjamin Lincoln,
who had been
humiliated by the British at Charleston, to accept it.



One of the most awesome fuck you's in history.

Posted by: rdbrewer at September 11, 2012 02:12 AM (Iyg03)

590 Posted by: a cynical but rarely angry Adriane at September 11, 2012 02:11 AM (/OhbZ)

*Nabs*

Posted by: Robert at September 11, 2012 02:15 AM (4ixH5)

591 Damn it! If only we had a Joo president, this would be so easy to sort out.

No one beats a Joo in a knife fight.

Posted by: ballofhate at September 11, 2012 02:15 AM (AREf/)

592 Ol' Hick'ry in a walk. That is, if he had the stones to cut Washington. That'd be asking a lot.

Posted by: DC in Towson


My initial thought but hot-heads get themselves killed at a predictable rate.

He'd do something dumb, sprain his ankle, then - stab, stab, stab goes the second hottest.

I think Teddy would take it. Bold but not an raving idiot.

Posted by: weft cut-loop at September 11, 2012 02:15 AM (NRwWP)

593 I'm not wearing a headband, stupid sock

Posted by: DC in Towson at September 11, 2012 02:16 AM (CJwi5)

594 Robert at September 11, 2012 02:15 AM (4ixH5)

*pokes* *peeks*

Posted by: a cynical but rarely angry Adriane at September 11, 2012 02:17 AM (/OhbZ)

595 One of the most awesome fuck you's in history.
Posted by: rdbrewer at September 11, 2012 02:12 AM (Iyg03)

Everyone forgets that Washington started the French and Indian war, before the Braddock campaign.

Posted by: Oldcat at September 11, 2012 02:17 AM (rzSn3)

596 I think Teddy would take it. Bold but not an raving idiot.
Posted by: weft cut-loop at September 11, 2012 02:15 AM (NRwWP)

Someone would knock off his specs. Game over.

Posted by: Oldcat at September 11, 2012 02:18 AM (rzSn3)

597 Update on Lawler: he's going to make a full recovery from heart attack, stroke is confirmed.

This was no angle. Michael Cole, the other announcer, made that clear several times. He wasn't acting.

They also did the last hour of the show without commentary.

Posted by: Truman North, iPhone buffoon at September 11, 2012 02:19 AM (I2LwF)

598 588 Oldcat,

Watching him turn on every democrat from Wilson forward except Truman would be cool.

Posted by: sven10077 at September 11, 2012 02:20 AM (LRFds)

599 Jesus, it's 9/11...

Posted by: Truman North, iPhone buffoon at September 11, 2012 02:20 AM (I2LwF)

600 Here's a site called The Deadliest Warrior. It has a page on Washington v. Bonaparte: http://tinyurl.com/dxv7hps

Seeing the opening, Washington thrusts his sword through the side of Napoleon's neck. He then pulls out the sword and wipes the blood from it as Napoleon crumples slowly to the ground dead.

Posted by: rdbrewer at September 11, 2012 02:20 AM (Iyg03)

601 *pokes* *peeks*



Posted by: a cynical but rarely angry Adriane at September 11, 2012 02:17 AM (/OhbZ)

*Ties you down with cans of Behr paint*

Posted by: Robert at September 11, 2012 02:20 AM (4ixH5)

602 Someone would knock off his specs. Game over.

Posted by: Oldcat


*Knife* fight. Knife.

Not rifle fight, captain.

Posted by: weft cut-loop at September 11, 2012 02:21 AM (NRwWP)

603 On the presidential knife fight, I would have to believe Obama would just leave and play golf until the rest of them died of old age.

Posted by: Truman North, iPhone buffoon at September 11, 2012 02:21 AM (I2LwF)

604 One question about the Prez melee.....would each President know about all the others? Nixon might know that TR was a badass, but would TR know that Nixon was a sneak?

Would GW be looking at Obama and thinking he wasn't a contender, so he must be one of the help?

Posted by: cthulhu at September 11, 2012 02:22 AM (kaalw)

605 597 TN,

Not a fan of his, but that sucks. Hope he makes it all the way back. Strokes are bad news.

Posted by: sven10077 at September 11, 2012 02:23 AM (LRFds)

606 600
Here's a site called The Deadliest Warrior. It has a page on Washington v. Bonaparte: http://tinyurl.com/dxv7hps

Seeing
the opening, Washington thrusts his sword through the side of
Napoleon's neck. He then pulls out the sword and wipes the blood from it
as Napoleon crumples slowly to the ground dead.

Posted by: rdbrewer at September 11, 2012 02:20 AM (Iyg03)

Meh...killing Napoleon would be slightly harder than killing a fifth grader.

Posted by: model_1066 at September 11, 2012 02:23 AM (yYKoR)

607 Meh...killing Napoleon would be slightly harder than killing a fifth grader.
Posted by: model_1066 at September 11, 2012 02:23 AM (yYKoR)

Nappy was a general, not a swordsman.

Posted by: Oldcat at September 11, 2012 02:25 AM (rzSn3)

608 Nappy was a general, not a swordsman.

well not a swordsman, swordsman ...

Posted by: a cynical but rarely angry Adriane at September 11, 2012 02:28 AM (/OhbZ)

609 Stewart Baker at Volokh discusses draft executive order on cybersecurity leaks.

http://tinyurl.com/cj4pduz

Posted by: Robert at September 11, 2012 02:28 AM (4ixH5)

610 Nappy was a general, not a swordsman.



well not a swordsman, swordsman ...

Posted by: a cynical but rarely angry Adriane at September 11, 2012 02:28 AM (/OhbZ)

Or a cocksman from what I hear.

Posted by: Billy Boy Clinton at September 11, 2012 02:29 AM (4ixH5)

611 *Ties you down with cans of Behr paint*

meh. am stripping a door with a decorative seem. more sanding and removal before the Behr gets sprayed on, i'm afraid...

Posted by: a cynical but rarely angry Adriane at September 11, 2012 02:29 AM (/OhbZ)

612 I still say you have to take game theory into account. Suppose you, I, and a championship knife fighter have a 3-way fight to death. Who's going to win?

I can tell you who's not going to win: the championship knife fighter. That's because you and I are going to double team him, and no matter how good he is he can't defend himself against simultaneous attacks from opposite directions.

After we've killed him, we'll get down to the important business of killing each other. The winner will probably be whichever of us was less injured in the initial fight.

Posted by: schizoid at September 11, 2012 02:32 AM (I44Vw)

613 Roses are red,
Sometimes they're white,
There's a joke about Lizzie Warren in here somewhere,
But too tired to look for it tonight ...

Posted by: a cynical but rarely angry Adriane at September 11, 2012 02:32 AM (/OhbZ)

614 607
Meh...killing Napoleon would be slightly harder than killing a fifth grader.

Posted by: model_1066 at September 11, 2012 02:23 AM (yYKoR)



Nappy was a general, not a swordsman.

Posted by: Oldcat at September 11, 2012 02:25 AM (rzSn3)

Total momma's boy, too...afraid of the dark and large dogs.

Posted by: model_1066 at September 11, 2012 02:32 AM (yYKoR)

615 more sanding and removal before the Behr gets sprayed on, i'm afraid...

Posted by: a cynical but rarely angry Adriane at September 11, 2012 02:29 AM (/OhbZ)

You know how to get my motor running.

Posted by: Ben Browder wearing nothing but a utility belt and carrying a DeWalt sander at September 11, 2012 02:33 AM (4ixH5)

616 I'm afraid of large dark dogs in the dark ... does that count?

Posted by: a cynical but rarely angry Adriane at September 11, 2012 02:34 AM (/OhbZ)

617 I gave my father 40 whacks, if you know what I mean.

Posted by: Lizzie Warren at September 11, 2012 02:35 AM (4ixH5)

618 You know how to get my motor running.

I know how to exploded all of your guns at once too ...

Posted by: Bone to be Wild at September 11, 2012 02:35 AM (/OhbZ)

619 If they bring a knife to the fight, we bring a gun.

Posted by: Barack Obama at September 11, 2012 02:35 AM (VmuxO)

620 59 tn,

Yup woke up at midnight, yesterday was wife's bday.

Posted by: sven10077 at September 11, 2012 02:36 AM (LRFds)

621 616
I'm afraid of large dark dogs in the dark ... does that count?

Posted by: a cynical but rarely angry Adriane at September 11, 2012 02:34 AM (/OhbZ)

Nah...that's like a double negative, or something.

Posted by: model_1066 at September 11, 2012 02:36 AM (yYKoR)

622 WND just reported that the Israel Tech and Science website (run by the former science advisor to Bibi, a molecular biologist) has also declared Barky's laughable birth certificate to be manipulated and fake.

http://www.science.co.il/Obama-Birth-Certificate.htm

In fact, the birth certificate is so poorly produced that anyone giving this to a criminal and charging for it would have to run for his life as it wouldn't pass the simplest of examinations, such as just zooming it to 400% and examining the digit that the web site cites.

Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair at September 11, 2012 02:36 AM (X3lox)

623 ThePrimordialOrderedPair at September 11, 2012 02:36 AM (X3lox)

check out the Ohio Lawsuit vs. JEF's SSN ...
if you haven't seen it yet ...

Posted by: Pass the Popcorn at September 11, 2012 02:38 AM (/OhbZ)

624 Napoleon was a Sicilian, which gives him instant credibility when it comes to murderin' games.

Posted by: Truman North at September 11, 2012 02:42 AM (I2LwF)

625 sorry ...

hattip, American Thinker ...

Posted by: Pass the Popcorn at September 11, 2012 02:42 AM (/OhbZ)

626
check out the Ohio Lawsuit vs. JEF's SSN ...
if you haven't seen it yet ...

Posted by: Pass the Popcorn at September 11, 2012 02:38 AM (/OhbZ)


Yeah, I know the SSN story from waaay back. Debbie Shlussel (I know) exposed all of that stuff years ago, including the laughable selective service forgery.

We'll see how the courts bury that one - as we both know they will. The examination of the SSN only takes a good 5 minutes to do, if one is so inclined to actually come to a conclusion about it. I'll bet the court eventually rejects it for basically the same reason it rejected D'Onofrio's original case. They'll say that the lady had no realistic chance of winning the election and, therefore, had no "practical standing" to bring the suit.

Down the rabbit hole we continue.

Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair at September 11, 2012 02:45 AM (X3lox)

627 Lipschitz... that's an hilarious name

If you're Lipschitz, what does your ass do?

Posted by: Truman North at September 11, 2012 02:45 AM (I2LwF)

628 what does your ass do?

Sittenchairen?

Posted by: Adriane Loves the Classics but is Easily Confused at September 11, 2012 02:48 AM (/OhbZ)

629 627
Lipschitz... that's an hilarious name




What are we, chopped liver?

Posted by: Pop, six, squish, uh-uh, and cicero at September 11, 2012 02:48 AM (I44Vw)

630 After intensive, 40%-inebriated scrutiny of ABBA's "Take A Chance" video, the Institute of Perverted Video Analysis has come to the conclusion that the otherwise-exquisitely-sexy ginger Anni-Frid is, sadly, actually incapable of winking.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-crgQGdpZR0

Posted by: Waterhouse, charter member IPVA at September 11, 2012 02:48 AM (mXE7q)

631 If you're Lipschitz, what does your ass do?

Posted by: Truman North at September 11, 2012 02:45 AM (I2LwF)

Advanced calculus?

Posted by: Robert at September 11, 2012 02:49 AM (4ixH5)

632 Hey Kids

Posted by: jc at September 11, 2012 02:50 AM (ufJKx)

633 Howdy, JC.

Posted by: Robert at September 11, 2012 02:51 AM (4ixH5)

634 My mother is Irish and my father is Jewish. Sure, we'd dink and fight all day...
...but we'd all feel really bad about it that night.

Posted by: Truman North at September 11, 2012 02:54 AM (I2LwF)

635 -we'd dink

Posted by: Truman North at September 11, 2012 02:54 AM (I2LwF)

RACISM!

Posted by: David Dinkins at September 11, 2012 02:56 AM (4ixH5)

636 Hey jc!

hope things are going well...

Posted by: Adriane is not related to Bob Villa at September 11, 2012 02:56 AM (/OhbZ)

637 Obama might win if he was allowed to bring his MSM human shields. Otherwise he'd be among the first out.

Posted by: Damn Sockpuppet at September 11, 2012 02:57 AM (yJYwC)

638 I've been wondering today, what *does* a racist dogwhistle sound like?

I kind of imagine it's like the little whistle Willy Wonka used to call an Oompa Loompa.

Posted by: Robert at September 11, 2012 02:57 AM (4ixH5)

639 my ass has done advanced calculus before. the derivatives were pretty disgusting.

Posted by: jc at September 11, 2012 02:58 AM (ufJKx)

640 *Quantum* mechanics?

Hell, Mexicans are just as good. Cheaper, too.

Posted by: Robert at September 11, 2012 02:59 AM (4ixH5)

641 Hey Adriane,

Bob Villa is OK, but shop elves are the bomb. They do all the work while the camera is off. I hope to get some soon.

Posted by: jc at September 11, 2012 02:59 AM (ufJKx)

642 jc at September 11, 2012 02:58 AM (ufJKx)

Friends don't let friends drink and derive ...

Posted by: Albert Einstein, Certified Genius at September 11, 2012 02:59 AM (/OhbZ)

643 #638, that would be pretty disgusting DWS and Pelsoi as Oompa Loompas rolling the rapidly turning blue Moochelle off...

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at September 11, 2012 03:00 AM (MGQq/)

644 I hope to get some soon.

Set out little wooden shoes. It works in German fairy tales anyway ...

Posted by: Brothers Grim and Bareit at September 11, 2012 03:01 AM (/OhbZ)

645 If Romney were to join the club, the rest would have to beware of his scissor-wielding skills. I heard he used to give a mean haircut.

Posted by: Damn Sockpuppet at September 11, 2012 03:02 AM (yJYwC)

Posted by: Merovign, Dark Lord of the Sith at September 11, 2012 03:02 AM (bxiXv)

647 one of the quantum mechanics fixing a lawn mower --


http://tinyurl.com/buekfgf

Posted by: jc at September 11, 2012 03:03 AM (ufJKx)

648 I heard he used to give a mean haircut.


Posted by: Damn Sockpuppet at September 11, 2012 03:02 AM (yJYwC)

You wanna talk about mean haircuts? You should have seen the ones I gave all those GM investors and Delphi retirees.

Posted by: Barky Ofuckstick at September 11, 2012 03:03 AM (4ixH5)

649 Bob Villa is OK, but shop elves are the bomb. They do all the work while the camera is off.

"The Shoemaker and the Elves" was my favorite fairy tale as a kid.

I fear it made me unnaturally-hopeful that magical forces would make me a success through zero effort on my own part.

Posted by: Waterhouse at September 11, 2012 03:04 AM (mXE7q)

650 Wow, for all you old guys like me, just caught the last 10 min of mission impossible, the old tv show. Coming on now, Combat with Vic Morrow.

Posted by: teej at September 11, 2012 03:04 AM (AiZkN)

651

Posted by: Merovign, Dark Lord of the Sith at September 11, 2012 03:02 AM (bxiXv)

http://tinyurl.com/9mx46vh

Posted by: Robert at September 11, 2012 03:04 AM (4ixH5)

652 Speaking of Deutschland...

http://tinyurl.com/8uds28w

Posted by: Robert at September 11, 2012 03:08 AM (4ixH5)

653 Posted by: Robert at September 11, 2012 03:04 AM (4ixH5)

Still not trusting your links.

Posted by: Merovign, Dark Lord of the Sith at September 11, 2012 03:11 AM (bxiXv)

654 elk. riiiiiiiiight.

Posted by: jc at September 11, 2012 03:12 AM (ufJKx)

655 http://tinyurl.com/8uds28w

The odds of ABC allowing you to adjust the volume on their auto-starting uncontrollable ad/PSA/weepythingy: 0/100.

Posted by: Waterhouse at September 11, 2012 03:12 AM (mXE7q)

656 Oh now this is an inner'stin read.

http://tinyurl.com/8ofxtsh

Posted by: Robert at September 11, 2012 03:12 AM (4ixH5)

657 http://tinyurl.com/8uds28w

That's sorta a good news / bad news re: the Elks.

Did they say anything about the Shriners and the Rotary Club?

Posted by: In Munchen est ein hoffbrauhaus at September 11, 2012 03:12 AM (/OhbZ)

658 Still not trusting your links.

Posted by: Merovign, Dark Lord of the Sith at September 11, 2012 03:11 AM (bxiXv)

You don't love me anymore.

Posted by: Gemma Atkinson at September 11, 2012 03:13 AM (4ixH5)

659 advanced math for the ass --



-1 * -1 = 1 (two negatives make a positive)




yeeaaahhh riiiiiiiiiight. (two positives make a negative)

Posted by: jc at September 11, 2012 03:13 AM (ufJKx)

660 Good Lord! Mr. Bean is married to *that*?!?!?

Posted by: cthulhu at September 11, 2012 03:13 AM (kaalw)

661 Did they say anything about the Shriners and the Rotary Club?

Posted by: In Munchen est ein hoffbrauhaus at September 11, 2012 03:12 AM (/OhbZ)

Subsidizing state owned industries led to a collapse of manufacturing in little parade cars and stupid hats.

Posted by: Robert at September 11, 2012 03:15 AM (4ixH5)

662 Night, all. Not very talkative tonight. Better to keep quiet and be though a fool, and all that shit.

Mañana, mi amigos.

Posted by: DC in Towson at September 11, 2012 03:15 AM (CJwi5)

663 Good morning and good night.

Posted by: Truman North at September 11, 2012 03:15 AM (I2LwF)

664 Good Lord! Mr. Bean is married to *that*?!?!?


I KNOW!!! Not a tentacle on her ...

Posted by: Yeah Verily at September 11, 2012 03:15 AM (/OhbZ)

665 You don't love me anymore.
Posted by: Gemma Atkinson at September 11, 2012 03:13 AM (4ixH5)


That disguise is about as convincing as a crocodile trying to get into a rabbits-only nightclub with a set of Groucho glasses with a nose and mustache attached.

Posted by: Merovign, Dark Lord of the Sith at September 11, 2012 03:16 AM (bxiXv)

666 G'night, DC!

Posted by: cthulhu at September 11, 2012 03:16 AM (kaalw)

667 boo

Posted by: Merovign, Dark Lord of the Sith at September 11, 2012 03:16 AM (bxiXv)

668 Good night, DC!

Posted by: Robert at September 11, 2012 03:16 AM (4ixH5)

669 The Atkinson Cycle is not a motorbike developed by Mr. Bean.

Posted by: Mazda3 at September 11, 2012 03:16 AM (mXE7q)

670 Thankfully, my soul is in a remote secure location.

Posted by: Merovign, Dark Lord of the Sith at September 11, 2012 03:16 AM (bxiXv)

671 Mystery click.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OO5y2O_hv3Ifeature=related

Posted by: @PurpAv at September 11, 2012 03:17 AM (1dUSN)

672
Posted by: cthulhu at September 11, 2012 03:16 AM (kaalw)

MADNESS!

Posted by: Robert at September 11, 2012 03:17 AM (4ixH5)

673 664
Good Lord! Mr. Bean is married to *that*?!?!?





I KNOW!!! Not a tentacle on her ...

Posted by: Yeah Verily at September 11, 2012 03:15 AM (/OhbZ)


I could well imagine putting a tentacle or two.....

Posted by: cthulhu at September 11, 2012 03:17 AM (kaalw)

674 cooth now tries to digest his own soul.

This might cause time ripples, dogs and cats living together, or hysteria at the speed of light squared ...

Posted by: Adriane at September 11, 2012 03:18 AM (/OhbZ)

675 night, DC ...

better tomorrows ...

Posted by: Adriane at September 11, 2012 03:19 AM (/OhbZ)

676 Roses are red,
So are strawberries,
The heat and the humidity are high,
My tolerance of them is what varies ...

Posted by: Adriane at September 11, 2012 03:21 AM (/OhbZ)

677 Anyway, night all ...

It is muckin fiserable here although, we do have a/c and electricity for which I am grateful ...

GOOD MORNING, VIC!!!

Posted by: Adriane at September 11, 2012 03:22 AM (/OhbZ)

678 Good night, Adriane!

Sweet dreams of Ben Browder...doing...Ben Browdery things...

Posted by: Robert at September 11, 2012 03:26 AM (4ixH5)

679 I got nothin'.

Posted by: Robert at September 11, 2012 03:26 AM (4ixH5)

680 night, Adriane.

Posted by: jc at September 11, 2012 03:27 AM (ufJKx)

681 Bing vs Google on 9-11 compare/contrast

http://www.bing.com/
http://www.google.com/

Posted by: @PurpAv at September 11, 2012 03:28 AM (1dUSN)

682 Uggh
Need wind...too hot

Yo peeps, a?
Anyone got a memory foam mattress? we are thinking about getting one

Posted by: navycopjoe (yo packers..your asskicking is coming on Thursday) at September 11, 2012 03:30 AM (3gUvw)

683 Enough fucking around.

The Coldstream Guards play The Star-Spangled Banner.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mQOQWAKnB1Q

Still makes me tear up. It's good to have such friends.

Posted by: Waterhouse at September 11, 2012 03:31 AM (mXE7q)

684 Uggh
And the car is so dirty its light grey
Its supposed to be shiny black and im too lazy to drive 2 minutes to the car wash

Posted by: navycopjoe (yo packers..your asskicking is coming on Thursday) at September 11, 2012 03:33 AM (3A7PP)

685 There's an over/under age limit to saying "pshaw," right?

Posted by: jc at September 11, 2012 03:33 AM (ufJKx)

686 http://tinyurl.com/9xcpmto

It's a puff piece, but I thought it was funny.

Posted by: Robert at September 11, 2012 03:34 AM (4ixH5)

687 Anyone got a memory foam mattress? we are thinking about getting one

Posted by: navycopjoe (yo packers..your asskicking is coming on Thursday) at September 11, 2012 03:30 AM (3gUvw)

I heard from a guy that says it tastes terrible and doesn't help him remember shit.

Posted by: Robert at September 11, 2012 03:37 AM (4ixH5)

688 Huzzah for the return of mpfs!!!

Posted by: DAve at September 11, 2012 03:37 AM (usnn9)

689 We've got a budget version of the memory foam mattress; actually a 8-10" thick pad that sits on top of the real mattress. Was $100 or so. Best $100 ever spent, huge improvement on the quality of sleep

Posted by: zeera at September 11, 2012 03:42 AM (XtxRN)

690 gotta go kids. CYA. Remember -- you are all only allowed one Monday per week.

Posted by: jc at September 11, 2012 03:47 AM (ufJKx)

691 Good night, JC.

Posted by: Robert at September 11, 2012 03:48 AM (4ixH5)

692 Bacon?

http://tinyurl.com/99dqbvm

Posted by: Robert at September 11, 2012 03:50 AM (4ixH5)

693 659: +i * +i = -1

Posted by: smartass at September 11, 2012 03:51 AM (I44Vw)

694 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hZ9qWpa2rIg

Posted by: @PurpAv at September 11, 2012 03:57 AM (1dUSN)

695 689. I saw those at walmart
I see what her lord goddess thinks about just doing that

Posted by: navycopjoe (yo packers..your asskicking is coming on Thursday) at September 11, 2012 04:05 AM (RFl8c)

696 her lord goddess

Posted by: navycopjoe (yo packers..your asskicking is coming on Thursday) at September 11, 2012 04:05 AM (RFl8c)

You called, peasant?

Posted by: Moochelle at September 11, 2012 04:11 AM (4ixH5)

697 #694: The geek in me says I should like music like that, but it's emotionally flat. I'd rather hear a simple 4 chord song.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5pidokakU4I

Posted by: schizoid at September 11, 2012 04:12 AM (I44Vw)

698 Bing vs Google on 9-11 compare/contrast

Hey, a ribbon! Ribbons mean that Google really cares!

Posted by: t-bird at September 11, 2012 04:16 AM (FcR7P)

699 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7ymeuOz0hZU

No more than 4 chords...ever.

Posted by: @PurpAv at September 11, 2012 04:20 AM (1dUSN)

700 682
Uggh

Need wind...too hot



Yo peeps, a?

Anyone got a memory foam mattress? we are thinking about getting one

Posted by: navycopjoe (yo packers..your asskicking is coming on Thursday) at September 11, 2012 03:30 AM (3gUvw)


We've got an encapsulated waterbed -- essentially a 3" waterbed in the middle of an 8" foam mattress -- and it's the greatest thing ever. Doesn't wave or slosh or move like a waterbed, but redistributes weight and eliminates pressure points.

Posted by: cthulhu at September 11, 2012 04:22 AM (kaalw)

701 My apologies if this was beaten to death when it happened, but while surfing the interwebs I came across this frightening picture of Michelle being lifted by a female Olympic wrestler: http://tinyurl.com/cudttmz

So maybe there is a new meme happening - we had Tebowing, Eastwooding, and now it's Obama-lifting.... will we see Obama-dropping next?

Makes you wonder what the @*# goes on in the White House these days...

Posted by: CJHinTX at September 11, 2012 04:23 AM (Xz3iS)

702 659: +i * +i = -1

Posted by: smartass at September 11, 2012 03:51 AM (I44Vw)


Why stop there? You might as well go all the way to the most profound equation in the universe involving every mathematical constant of import:

ℯ^ⲡi = -1

Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair at September 11, 2012 04:24 AM (X3lox)

703 Oldie - Panic in the World

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=icC2KudLfcE

Posted by: @PurpAv at September 11, 2012 04:25 AM (1dUSN)

704 699: That's what I'm talking about. It got my attention in the first 5 seconds.

Posted by: schizoid at September 11, 2012 04:25 AM (I44Vw)

705 http://tinyurl.com/cudttmz


Posted by: CJHinTX at September 11, 2012 04:23 AM (Xz3iS)

Guess that weightlifter likes chicks with big asses.

They do make a cute couple, though.

Posted by: Robert at September 11, 2012 04:27 AM (4ixH5)

706 Some people have way too much time on their hands.

http://tinyurl.com/9fgjgwe

Posted by: Robert at September 11, 2012 04:29 AM (4ixH5)

707 The Ramones Cretin Hop and Beat On the Brat my go to work in the attic songs. Put it on repeat, maximum stun volume, pound 4 or so energy drinks and I'm good to go for hours until the sun comes up.

The neighbors probably hate me. Fuck'em.

Posted by: @PurpAv at September 11, 2012 04:30 AM (1dUSN)

708 So...yeah, WaPo has a poll out with O only up 1 with likely voters. Taken in the days after the DNC....

gets better....their Likely Voter poll is still D+6, with a R of only 27!

Romney winning BIG TIME among Indies, as he is in most of the polls.

Remember that last point, next time the Dems and concern trolls claim Romneys pitch to the middle is a bad idea......

Posted by: AussieMarcus at September 11, 2012 04:32 AM (RstsB)

709
Posted by: AussieMarcus at September 11, 2012 04:32 AM (RstsB)

We don't need that kind of positivity here. Take that shit to some smart optimistic military blog!

Posted by: Robert at September 11, 2012 04:35 AM (4ixH5)

710 ...their Likely Voter poll is still D+6, with a R of only 27!

O will be swallowing a bullet deep in the bunker before this is over. Axlerod and Jarret will flee ahead of the mobs and resurface years later running a brothel in the Ivory Coast. Holder vanishes into the mists of time never to be seen or heard from again, although rumors persist and there's claimed sightings in every corner of the globe, but they got no more credibility than Elvis at a 7-11 sightings. Turbo Timmy gets a job as a Walmart greeter in Thailand., etc, etc.

Posted by: @PurpAv at September 11, 2012 04:39 AM (1dUSN)

711 700 that sound good
Had a waterbed once but toss in cats and it all goes to he'll fast

Posted by: navycopjoe (yo packers..your asskicking is coming on Thursday) at September 11, 2012 04:41 AM (XrMeG)

712 Can't wait to see how this Chicago Teacher's Strike script ends. Drudge has a picture of a sign "Emanuel is a bully! Stop Rahmunism!" Yeah, I believe that.

Posted by: t-bird at September 11, 2012 04:41 AM (FcR7P)

713 Once the public realizes what they're already being paid, the union's argument will fall on deaf ears.

Posted by: @PurpAv at September 11, 2012 04:43 AM (1dUSN)

714 BTW, I predict the next move from the concern trolls will be "Look at the RCP Average!!!!"

As the polls from before the DNC wash out of the system, the RCP average will naturally give a boost to Obama over the coming days....even as the bounce recedes....

Don't be fooled!

Posted by: AussieMarcus at September 11, 2012 04:47 AM (RstsB)

715 Once the public realizes what they're already being paid, the union's argument will fall on deaf ears.

Just surprised they would be so tone-deaf as to remind the public of the scam that is public sector unions. ...unless it's the White House that's tone-deaf. "Barack saves the day! Backs the teachers down to a mere 15% raise! Rahm heaps praise: 'Couldn't do this alone'..."

Posted by: t-bird at September 11, 2012 04:51 AM (FcR7P)

716 707: I have no neighbors. I can target shoot in my backyard while blasting 1970s disco. Not that I would do such a thing.

Posted by: schizoid at September 11, 2012 04:56 AM (I44Vw)

717 I grew up out in the boonies...I miss it. Even now, I'll sometimes just walk out the back door, belch and piss on the lawn to keep my redneck chops in practice.

Posted by: @PurpAv at September 11, 2012 05:02 AM (1dUSN)

718 711
700 that sound good

Had a waterbed once but toss in cats and it all goes to he'll fast

Posted by: navycopjoe (yo packers..your asskicking is coming on Thursday) at September 11, 2012 04:41 AM (XrMeG)


These might even be impervious to cats -- the waterbed part is buried within a thick foam mattress.

Posted by: cthulhu at September 11, 2012 05:09 AM (kaalw)

719 717: Fucking liberals and their fucking "open space" initiatives. It sounds great until you realize the open space is not for you.

Posted by: schizoid at September 11, 2012 05:24 AM (I44Vw)

720
Aussiemarcus said: As the polls from before the DNC wash out of the system, the RCP
average will naturally give a boost to Obama over the coming
days....even as the bounce recedes....



Don't be fooled!


Good point. RCP is still a great source, but it will lag where we currently stand as you said.

On the upside, now that the general is starting the polling turn-over should rise. It's been pretty slow and shitty in many of the battlegrounds so far.

Posted by: Uriah Heep at September 11, 2012 05:26 AM (Wa+Fw)

721 Star Trek: The Next Generation season 2 bluray coming 12/4.

http://tinyurl.com/8k59vxg

I, uh...expect that the price should come down some.

Posted by: Robert at September 11, 2012 05:29 AM (4ixH5)

722 Oh, great! But, let's not forget that it was the FDR administration that covered up the attrocities at Katyn, and not G.W.'s dad (who maybe should have done the right thing when he had the chance). How does this help an America hating 50% of our population elect a communist, I don't know, but it makes me sick.

Posted by: and irresolute at September 11, 2012 05:32 AM (Q492A)

723 http://tinyurl.com/9qfk7sg

Heh.

Posted by: Robert at September 11, 2012 05:33 AM (4ixH5)

724 SPLC labels Occupy part of radical right.

http://tinyurl.com/8utrfmm

HUH?!?!?!

Posted by: Robert at September 11, 2012 05:37 AM (4ixH5)

725 SCoaMF

Posted by: Zakn at September 11, 2012 06:05 AM (8emxS)

726 724 SPLC labels Occupy part of radical right.

Posted by: Robert at September 11, 2012 05:37 AM (4ixH5)


Standard leftist behavior - say whatever would seem to be of benefit at the moment, no matter how bizarre.

See DWC making up quotes, calling quoting her a lie, then denying she said it at all and refusing to apologize.

Posted by: Merovign, Dark Lord of the Sith at September 11, 2012 06:07 AM (bxiXv)

727 SPLC labels Occupy part of radical right.

When you're far to the left of Chairman Mao and Pol Pot, yea I suppose so.

Posted by: @PurpAv at September 11, 2012 06:16 AM (um1cg)

728 What would the secret service be doing while this is going on? Oh I forgot--Hookers!

Posted by: Dirks Strewn at September 11, 2012 06:29 AM (D9CxV)

729 Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity, it is not some sort of externality that is bestowed on some and not others. And while I'm thinking about it, who is it that these godless nincompoops think makes the choices and bestows the luck?

Posted by: steve walsh at September 11, 2012 06:42 AM (4KT6I)

730 http://tinyurl.com/9h3lv7y

I'm a single male with no wife and kids. I make fuck all. I do actually pay taxes.

I'm totally being played for a sucker.

Come on, Uncle Sugar, where's my big fat welfare check? Come on, hopenchange, amirite?

Posted by: Robert at September 11, 2012 06:45 AM (4ixH5)

731 Obama/DNC American Dream:
Conceived
Aborted
If abortion fails left to die in a trash bag.

Posted by: Mekan at September 11, 2012 06:46 AM (T/L2Z)

732 I'm totally being played for a sucker.

Posted by: Robert at September 11, 2012 06:45 AM (4ixH5)


Yep.

Posted by: Merovign, Dark Lord of the Sith at September 11, 2012 07:18 AM (bxiXv)

733 I
have to take Lincoln. Washington, despite formidable skills, would
probably die from the impulse to be chivalrous, Jefferson would die in
the middle of a fine speech, and Jackson would be as terrifyingly and
mechanically efficient as any half-mad Southern axe-wielding righteous
maniac could be, but Lincoln would calmly think his way to creating a
pile of regrettably dead opponents, defending a corner of the room
against all comers and waiting for Mad Andy to spend himself into
insensibility, allowing Abe to then finish him off with a plodding yet
firm resolution, calculated maneuvering for position and a knife thrust under the jaw. But mostly a knife thrust under the jaw.

Posted by: Bitsko at September 11, 2012 08:38 AM (pjKSk)

734 Does Biwl Moahr suck cock? Wet me no. OhKay?

Posted by: Bwaney Fwank at September 11, 2012 09:17 AM (zbaEl)

735 619
If they bring a knife to the fight, we bring a gun.

Posted by: Barack Obama at September 11, 2012 02:35 AM (VmuxO)


Nice.

Posted by: Phinn at September 11, 2012 09:21 AM (oFH2D)

736 None of the recent presidents stand a chance . . .I simply cannot visualize the current occupant of the oval officeor Romney participating - let alone succeeding. Neither can I visualize either Bush, geeez not Clinton or Carter or Nixon nor Kennedy. . .not even Ron Reagan, though Reagan is close.
Americanmen have been so emasculated in the last few generations . . .to the point it's sad to reflect how many generations back we have to go to find a leader we can readily envision as capable of face to face combat valor. Washington, Jackson, Grant, Eisenhower.
This was a hell of adepressing exercise. Sigh.
God Bless America . . .she's gonna need it.

Posted by: wtd at September 11, 2012 09:21 AM (79199)

737 What are we, chopped liver?
Posted by: Pop, six, squish, uh-uh, and cicero at September 11, 2012 02:48 AM (I44Vw)

Hilarious reference.

Posted by: troyriser at September 11, 2012 09:51 AM (vtiE6)

738 No-fap September, and then we get a lovely pin-up painting to tempt us. That's like popping a lemon meringue pie in front of someone on a diet!

Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius at September 11, 2012 10:10 AM (exvgC)

739 Everyone discounts Madison, but he had a combination of learning, experience, purpose, and imagination that no President could equal. Give him "prep time" and he could very likely make the top 10.


p.s. I have to pretend these guys are superheroes so it becomes more seemly.

Posted by: Layson at September 11, 2012 10:48 AM (cdYUQ)

740 Top several in no particular order but as I think of them: Zachary Taylor, George Washington, Andrew Jackson, Dwight Eisenhower, US Grant,Theodore Roosevelt. All legit soldiers with training and experience. Probably missed a couple. At least one Adams.

Posted by: Beagle at September 11, 2012 10:59 AM (sOtz/)

741
GHWB if I wasn't estupid and in a hurry. He paddled away from machine gun fire after a hotly contested air raid. And he's tall, good knife reach.
W flew dangerous Century Series jets.Is air strike anoption? Then Humphrey wouldhave been president. Lincoln was tall and feisty.
If there is one takeaway here it's that I wishmore of our elected officials had some military experience.Especially now with the meat axe coming for the budget and the world heating up at the same time.

Posted by: Beagle at September 11, 2012 11:12 AM (sOtz/)

742 I will put them in an NCAA bracket style tourney and set up a tourney. teachwithtournaments.com

Posted by: Josh Hoekstra at September 11, 2012 11:47 AM (sqIov)

743 Best knife fighter...President Jefferson Davis

Posted by: Ohiovoter at September 11, 2012 12:13 PM (ntQdh)

744 Late to the thread - my bet would be on Washington, he had divine protection. Read the Indian accounts of the battle against Gen. Braddock. They (the Indians) were able to take out many of the officers - except Washington. Finally, the Indians stopped firing at Washington figuring that he had the protection of the Great Spirit.

Woodrow Wilson or Obama would be the first to go - many of the other presidents would be ticked at how these two treated the constitution.

Posted by: Evan Maughan at September 11, 2012 12:15 PM (C0YLz)

745 You know, thinking this over, I'd give it to Washington simply because I don't think anyone except Obama would dare lay a finger on him out of deepest respect and honor. They'd give up rather than attack him.

Posted by: Christopher Taylor at September 11, 2012 01:14 PM (r4wIV)

746 i'd go with Lincoln in his prime he was strong and could weild an axe like no other

Posted by: kj at September 11, 2012 01:34 PM (iWFZt)

747 I started both ways (Center Linebacker) for the Michigan Wolverines, how about I shove that knife up your ass, Pussy.

Posted by: G. Ford #48 at September 11, 2012 01:35 PM (U4ceb)

748
Hey cant leave off Presidents Grant and Bush 41.
One was a combat decorated Naval aviator at the ripe old age of 19, and the other went to West Point, probably killed half a dozen people in the Mexican War, smoked or chewed 30 cigars a day and tossed Union soldiers by the thousands onto a necessary but apocalyptically deadly forest fire..

Posted by: MikeD at September 11, 2012 02:28 PM (p8QOg)

749 Just want to say that IMHO this is the best ONT ever!

Posted by: Mary in LA just had her day made at September 11, 2012 03:32 PM (9wOfB)

750 If alliances are formed it gets real interesting Bush 41 and 43 would certainly be allies and surprisingly both Reagan and Clinton might join them, especially against Carter who bedeviled all four. They all also have reason to loath Obama. The two Adams would also be allies. That's where there could be an early upset. Jackson really hated John Quincy. Those ever sly Adams could well bait him into a trap. Would TR ally with his favorite niece's husband FDR? It's certainly possible.

Who would be ganged up on early besides Carter? I suspect many of his immediate successors would have liked to have stabbed Buchanan. Would Tricky Dick align with JFK to do in LBJ? They each had reasons to hate him. Other grudge matches could include TR against both Taft and Wilson.

Posted by: NC Mountain Girl at September 11, 2012 05:19 PM (Fa4T+)

751 Five picks for the knife fight:

George Washington - big strong guy, woodsman, successful combat veteran.

Andrew Jackson - stone killer.

Abe Lincoln - really big strong guy.

Teddy Roosevelt - self-made tough guy, ultra-combative.

Gerald Ford - top-rank athlete.


Guaranteed loser - Martin Van Buren, who was tiny.

Posted by: Rich Rostrom at September 12, 2012 01:42 AM (JLF2x)

752 Washington was a fearless, big strong guy AND he had fighting experience early on against indians. I'd go with George. Andrew Jackson was tough, but as I recall, he got his ass kicked by a guy the size of Washington - a guy named Simon Kenton.

Posted by: ThomNJ at September 12, 2012 02:46 PM (Z6jGw)






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