So There's Finally Another James Bond Movie Coming

Meh.

Posted by: Ace at 05:16 PM

Comments

1 I have stories, man, that would put Bond, James Bond to shame.

Posted by: Joe Biden, original thinker at July 17, 2012 05:17 PM (bAGA/)

2 Plus, look at that guy's hairline. It's disgraceful.

Posted by: Joe Biden, original thinker at July 17, 2012 05:18 PM (bAGA/)

3 They've really not been good. Really.

Posted by: © Sponge at July 17, 2012 05:18 PM (UK9cE)

4 Oh please...if that was Kate Upton running down the street the hell if you'd think...

Meh.

Posted by: tasker at July 17, 2012 05:18 PM (r2PLg)

5 I'd love be comissioned to wrIte the theme song for a Bond movie

Posted by: Truman North, iPhone snob at July 17, 2012 05:18 PM (KsbGf)

6 Is this the gay one? I thought we were supposed to have a movie where he was gay this time around.

Posted by: Rocketeer at July 17, 2012 05:18 PM (MBmtt)

7 I haven't watched any of the Bond movies since Connery quit. They all blow chunks. When I was in HS I liked the books though.

Posted by: Vic at July 17, 2012 05:19 PM (YdQQY)

8 I heard the title for that one was going to be Moonraper though.

Posted by: Rocketeer at July 17, 2012 05:19 PM (MBmtt)

9 Is he carrying that powerful man-stopper .380?

Posted by: Vic at July 17, 2012 05:20 PM (YdQQY)

10 Knowing going in that this was a new Bond flick, NOTHING in that clip gave me the desire to want to go see it.

Posted by: © Sponge at July 17, 2012 05:20 PM (UK9cE)

11 Bond is no match for Florida video poker grampa.

Posted by: kallisto at July 17, 2012 05:21 PM (jm/9g)

12 I love trailers where I have no idea what the fuck the movie is about. I wouldn't even know it was a Bond movie if the article hadn't told me. It looks like Generic Action movie #45192.

Posted by: Naes at July 17, 2012 05:21 PM (KzBgN)

13 Dun dun.... Dun dun... Dun Dun...

Posted by: cajun carrot, guy who hums dun dun... at July 17, 2012 05:21 PM (UZQM8)

14 @10 -

not even the presence of the illustrious Dame Judi Dench?

Posted by: kallisto at July 17, 2012 05:22 PM (jm/9g)

15
The villain?

M.I.T.T.

Posted by: garrett at July 17, 2012 05:22 PM (DwGXn)

16 Barack Obama is a stuttering clusterf*ck of a miserable tyrant.

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) Channelling Breitbart at July 17, 2012 05:22 PM (8y9MW)

17 From last night's Kate Upton thread.

So if Kate was a Bond Girl. What would her name be?

Honey Trapp?
Honey Pott?
Or ???

Posted by: Anna Puma at July 17, 2012 05:22 PM (bwH3a)

18 Daniel Craig,Javier Bardem, Ralph Fiennes....

Yazah!

Posted by: tasker at July 17, 2012 05:22 PM (r2PLg)

19 I will have to admit, thought......M?

I'd hit it.

Posted by: © Sponge at July 17, 2012 05:23 PM (UK9cE)

20 Casion Royale was very good. Quantum of Soleass was boring. It looks like the trend is holding.

Posted by: weft cut-loop at July 17, 2012 05:24 PM (mIoJ0)

21 So if Kate was a Bond Girl. What would her name be?

Honey Trapp?
Honey Pott?
Or ???

Posted by: Anna Puma at July 17, 2012 05:22 PM (bwH3a)

Titlicious Galore, the granddaughter of Pussy Galore in Goldfinger.

Posted by: © Sponge at July 17, 2012 05:24 PM (UK9cE)

22
I still can't get into the idea of Daniel Craig....as James Bond.
Not the best casting there, imo.

If they were going to go with a blonde guy....I think that Paul Bettany would've been a better choice.
He would've made a kick-ass James Bond.

Posted by: wheatie at July 17, 2012 05:25 PM (MbB0O)

23 Titlicious Galore, the granddaughter of Pussy Galore in Goldfinger.
Posted by: © Sponge at July 17, 2012 05:24 PM (UK9cE)

out to prove she is better at it than her mom...

meeeeeeeeooowwwwwwwww

Posted by: cajun carrot at July 17, 2012 05:25 PM (UZQM8)

24 "A Plenary of Discord"

Posted by: Alamo at July 17, 2012 05:25 PM (m/tN9)

25 So if Kate was a Bond Girl. What would her name be?

Sweater O'Mischief.

Posted by: Waterhouse at July 17, 2012 05:25 PM (bFrcG)

26 I look forward to another James Bond movie with the same enthusiam and desire that I would have looking forward to another Rocky or Star Wars movies.

Which is to say, zip.

Posted by: Mallamutt, RINO President for Life at July 17, 2012 05:25 PM (OWjjx)

27 Has it got a three-breasted hooker in it?

Posted by: Slim at July 17, 2012 05:26 PM (PPcR4)

28 The only way I could care less is if Tim Burton directed it.

Then again, James Bond in whiteface and black and white stripes and leather...

Posted by: Clutch Cargo at July 17, 2012 05:26 PM (Qxdfp)

29
I'm more interested in the Oz movie....

and of course, the new Punisher (which looks AWSOME)

Posted by: Romeo13 at July 17, 2012 05:26 PM (lZBBB)

30 27 Has it got a three-breasted hooker in it?
Posted by: Slim at July 17, 2012 05:26 PM (PPcR4)

There is that Total Recall remake coming out...

Posted by: cajun carrot at July 17, 2012 05:26 PM (UZQM8)

31 Another bond ripoff with the ghey actor that doesn't like guns? Let me guess, the villain is Condi Rice.

Posted by: SpongeBob Saget at July 17, 2012 05:26 PM (SDkq3)

32 The last Bond flick I saw was GoldenEye and it was so fucking stupid I haven't been able to bring myself to watch any more of the new ones.

Posted by: ErikW at July 17, 2012 05:27 PM (j8AQC)

33 sorry, there is only one Bond. Sean Connery. Pierce Brosnan as runner-up

Posted by: kelley in virginia at July 17, 2012 05:27 PM (p3a8+)

34
Kate Upton a Bond Girl?

M.F. Cupp

"Quantum of Solace" was loud and pretty bad. But a lot of the Roger Moore "Bond " movies were pretty bad.
I actually think Daniel Craig has the right appearance to be Bond. Tough, mean, and Judi Dench doesn't like him. I really don't like Judi Dench much myself.

Posted by: Reader C.J. Burch writes... at July 17, 2012 05:27 PM (RFeQD)

35 James Bond lives only because Dick Cheney permits him to live.

Posted by: Mallamutt, RINO President for Life at July 17, 2012 05:28 PM (OWjjx)

36 Posted by: ErikW at July 17, 2012 05:27 PM (j8AQC)

The N64 Version was alot better

Posted by: cajun carrot at July 17, 2012 05:28 PM (UZQM8)

37 "So you are walking down a street."
Bond, "Which street."
"If could be any street, it's part of the test."
Bond, "Okay"
"And you find a nude woman laying there."
Bond, "Why is she nude?"
"She just is. What do you do?"
Bond, "I don't know. Turn her over."
"So lets talk about Skyfall."
Bond, "You want to know about Skyfall?!?"
*BAM* *BAM* *BAM*

That is how MI6 found another secret agent.

Posted by: Anna Puma at July 17, 2012 05:28 PM (bwH3a)

38 The only way I could care less is if Tim Burton directed it.

Then again, James Bond in whiteface and black and white stripes and leather...

Posted by: Clutch Cargo at July 17, 2012 05:26 PM (Qxdfp)

If he did it, that would mean that Bond would be anti-American Johnny Depp, and I'm so far out on that, it's not funny.

Posted by: © Sponge at July 17, 2012 05:28 PM (UK9cE)

39 How good is a movie with a three-breasted hooker going to be if its rated PG-13?

Posted by: buzzion at July 17, 2012 05:28 PM (GULKT)

40 So if Kate was a Bond Girl. What would her name be?
Ginger Finger.

Posted by: andycanuck at July 17, 2012 05:28 PM (vDl/w)

41 Daniel Craig makes a great James Bond but the stories he's been saddled with are caca.

Posted by: Cicero at July 17, 2012 05:29 PM (QKKT0)

42 Eh. The villians in these are beginning to take a toll. The books were so much better than the movies. Casino Royale was good, I didn't see the last one.
At least they seem to have made the connection that the gadgets were getting absurd. Bulletproof invisible car duels and nuking fridges have taken up where jumping sharks left off.

Posted by: Jollyroger at July 17, 2012 05:29 PM (t06LC)

43 Dick Cheney was Bond, James Bond, in an earlier life

Posted by: kelley in virginia at July 17, 2012 05:29 PM (p3a8+)

44 The ending's going to suck. While Bond was busy reviewing all his motivations, Samuel Williams already chased the bad guys away.

Posted by: t-bird at July 17, 2012 05:29 PM (FcR7P)

45 Meh.

That's why I come to AoSHQ.

The profound, elaborate in-depth movie reviews.

Posted by: AmishDude at July 17, 2012 05:29 PM (T0NGe)

46 Best Bond movie? I'm leaning toward Diamonds Are Forever. Worst for me is Man With The Golden Gun.

Posted by: polynikes at July 17, 2012 05:29 PM (AiZkN)

47 38 If he did it, that would mean that Bond would be anti-American Johnny Depp

I thought about that as soon as I typed it. The love interest would also be a 14 year old girl who wears almost as much makeup as James.

Posted by: Clutch Cargo at July 17, 2012 05:30 PM (Qxdfp)

48 So if Kate was a Bond Girl. What would her name be?

Honey Trapp?
Honey Pott?
Or ???

Posted by: Anna Puma at July 17, 2012 05:22 PM (bwH3a)

Bristol Cities

Posted by: TheQuietMan at July 17, 2012 05:30 PM (1Jaio)

49 Get thatbad assfrom the internet cafe for a role ...

Posted by: Honey Badger, drinker of mead at July 17, 2012 05:30 PM (GvYeG)

50 42 The books were so much better than the movies.
Posted by: Jollyroger at July 17, 2012 05:29 PM (t06LC)

Don't be that guy....

Posted by: cajun carrot at July 17, 2012 05:30 PM (UZQM8)

51
36 Posted by: ErikW at July 17, 2012 05:27 PM (j8AQC) The N64 Version was alot better
Posted by: cajun carrot at July 17, 2012 05:28 PM (UZQM

Shooting Russians in the bathroom stalls FTW!

Posted by: buzzion at July 17, 2012 05:30 PM (GULKT)

52 The profound, elaborate in-depth movie reviews

Ace will have a 10,000 word review up once the movie is released. It will be............eh, epic, no.......great.....probably not,............ignored by all......yea, that is the answer.

Posted by: Mallamutt, RINO President for Life at July 17, 2012 05:30 PM (OWjjx)

53 Sweet R. Puppies

Posted by: andycanuck at July 17, 2012 05:31 PM (vDl/w)

54 46 Worst for me is Man With The Golden Gun.

Aw c'mon!
Tatoo rocked in that!

Posted by: Clutch Cargo at July 17, 2012 05:31 PM (Qxdfp)

55 Bond couldn't do what he does without help from the government.

Posted by: Purina Dogchow at July 17, 2012 05:31 PM (+XVQe)

56 I didn't see a lot of CGI in that clip. That's what fills the seats, you know. A shitload of CGI.

Posted by: George Lucas at July 17, 2012 05:31 PM (QKKT0)

57 @29
Yeah, uuuumm about that. I concur with the awesome part, but that was it. It was a fan movie. From what I gathered, there is no upcoming Punisher.

Posted by: Jollyroger at July 17, 2012 05:31 PM (t06LC)

58 will they spice things up and He will He have a girl and a boyfriend?

Posted by: willow at July 17, 2012 05:31 PM (TomZ9)

59 It looks like Generic Action movie #45192.

Somebody option the rights!

Get Shia LaBeouf!

Posted by: Michael Bay at July 17, 2012 05:32 PM (T0NGe)

60 49 Get thatbad assfrom the internet cafe for a role ...
Posted by: Honey Badger, drinker of mead at July 17, 2012 05:30 PM (GvYeG)

He's so bad ass, he doesn't need to be in a movie to be bad ass.

Posted by: cajun carrot at July 17, 2012 05:32 PM (UZQM8)

61 -1 He

Posted by: willow at July 17, 2012 05:32 PM (TomZ9)

62 ....I think that Paul Bettany would've been a better choice.

Bettany would be a great Sherlock. Bond I don't know. He's been relegated to sidekick for some reason.

Posted by: eleven at July 17, 2012 05:32 PM (KXm42)

63 The paper was so much better than the books.

Posted by: Clutch Cargo at July 17, 2012 05:32 PM (Qxdfp)

64 The Dems are set to portray the villian...Conrad Bain (get it? GET IT?!?!?!??!) as a stand-in for Romney and the 1 percent, while Obama plays Bond as a resourceful and brave 99 percenter, radiating suave and sophisticated charm, as well as wonderfully pressed pantlegs.

. Biden plays Q. Or Z, in his case.

Posted by: Damn Sockpuppet at July 17, 2012 05:32 PM (YmPwQ)

65 Vanilla Sky Fall.

Posted by: BuddyPC at July 17, 2012 05:33 PM (KCuY9)

66 will they spice things up and He will He have a girl and a boyfriend?

Um, yes and no?

Posted by: Magic 8 Ball, Confused as Hell at July 17, 2012 05:33 PM (QKKT0)

67 Sadly, the preview is probably better than the movie.

Posted by: Mallamutt, RINO President for Life at July 17, 2012 05:33 PM (OWjjx)

68 i think they should have a real Bond story, how about a Soros type of protaganist>?

Posted by: willow at July 17, 2012 05:33 PM (TomZ9)

69 @50
But I have to. The Bond in the books most awesome gadget was a knife he hid in his boot. And he was a strait up killer. Thats it. And he got a lot of ass, so there is that. But what he was not was smug or campy. They had to take alot away for the PG13 Bond we have.
A R rated Bond movie would kick ass.

Posted by: Jollyroger at July 17, 2012 05:33 PM (t06LC)

70 On the plus side, this seems to actually have lots of shit blowing up, which has been a major deficiency in the Craig Bonds thus far.

Then again, on that metric there's no way it'll outdo Expendables 2.

Posted by: Ian S. at July 17, 2012 05:34 PM (tqwMN)

71 There was a book?

Posted by: Maxwell Smart at July 17, 2012 05:34 PM (xhupI)

72 I'm telling you that it's Romney's fault that the most popular secret agent in America is a frickin' Limey.

Outsourcing!

Posted by: King Barry the Canine Masticator at July 17, 2012 05:34 PM (+XVQe)

73 would you read it?

Posted by: agent 99 at July 17, 2012 05:35 PM (TomZ9)

74 Bond movie would kick ass.
Posted by: Jollyroger at July 17, 2012 05:33 PM (t06LC)

How dare you, Bond is an Event the family should enjoy!!!!

/tehsarcz

I'm still pissed about Prometheus and Conan... fucking epic let downs.

Posted by: cajun carrot at July 17, 2012 05:35 PM (UZQM8)

75 You call yourself a British agent, Mr. Bond, but just look at your teeth.

Posted by: Goldfinger at July 17, 2012 05:35 PM (QKKT0)

76 he also drives Foreign cars.

Posted by: willow at July 17, 2012 05:36 PM (TomZ9)

77 "'Quantum of Solace' was loud and pretty bad. But a lot of the Roger Moore 'Bond' movies were pretty bad."

But at least the Moores were amusingly , unselfconsciously campy.

QoS was loud, bad, and dull, in a frickin' aggravating way.

Posted by: BuddyPC at July 17, 2012 05:36 PM (KCuY9)

78
Posted by: Damn Sockpuppet at July 17, 2012 05:32 PM (YmPwQ)

Nope.... Biden in Batman Pajamas...

Posted by: Romeo13 at July 17, 2012 05:36 PM (lZBBB)

79
70 On the plus side, this seems to actually have lots of shit blowing up, which has been a major deficiency in the Craig Bonds thus far.Then again, on that metric there's no way it'll outdo Expendables 2.
Posted by: Ian S. at July 17, 2012 05:34 PM (tqwMN)

If they do an Expendables 3, they're going to have to ask The Rock and Vin Diesel to be in it. Since they've already got just about all the other action stars.

Posted by: buzzion at July 17, 2012 05:36 PM (GULKT)

80 Meh? Ace always with the bullshit too-cool-for-school pose.

Bond is awesome, Craig is a good Bond, even Quantum of Solace was better than average, and Casino Royale is easily Top Five Bond. I'm there

Posted by: Meh? at July 17, 2012 05:36 PM (wqffJ)

81
Live and Let Fap

Posted by: Dr. Varno at July 17, 2012 05:37 PM (GO2/t)

82 76he also drives Foreign cars.Posted by: willow at July 17, 2012 05:36 PM (TomZ9)Buy a Chevy, and so will YOU!

Posted by: GM CEO at July 17, 2012 05:37 PM (lZBBB)

83 I wish they'd truly reboot Bond in that they'd set them in the 1950s and 1960s. That's where Bond belongs. He's a creature of the Cold War, and given the whole Mad Men craze, I think it would sell quite well. The writers wouldn't need to be burdened with half the PC idiocy they have to deal with in a modern setting as well.

Posted by: Schaeffer at July 17, 2012 05:37 PM (ZN0re)

84 Prometheous was a let down, all the parts were there to be good.
Conan I saw coming.

Posted by: Jollyroger at July 17, 2012 05:37 PM (t06LC)

85 Casino Royale was very good. Quantum of Soleass was boring. It looks like the trend is holding.

Mebbe. IIRC, the trailers for CR weren't that good either, but the movie was good. Q of S sucked something awful.

It does seem like they need to make up their mind to either make Bond a badass, like CR, or highbrow snark (or a parody), like all the rest of them. Mixing the two just doesn't work.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy at July 17, 2012 05:38 PM (d0Tfm)

86 I don't want you to make movies Mr. Bond. I want you to die!

Posted by: Goldfinger at July 17, 2012 05:38 PM (GkwjL)

87 "and of course, the new Punisher (which looks AWSOME)

Posted by: Romeo13 at July 17, 2012 05:26 PM (lZBBB)"

I thought that clip in the sidebar was shit. PC multiracial gang, awful CGI bloodspattering, and an invincible bottle of JD.

Hopefully there's something better out there.

Posted by: Burn the Witch at July 17, 2012 05:38 PM (rX1N2)

88 I don't think americans should waste their money watching an outsourced actor. they should send it to my campaign.
o hollywood has failed me,
1st warning.

Posted by: willow at July 17, 2012 05:38 PM (TomZ9)

89 And in related news, the new Austin Powers movie will be ten times better.

Posted by: ErikW at July 17, 2012 05:38 PM (j8AQC)

90 Do. Not. Want.

Posted by: Joe Mama at July 17, 2012 05:38 PM (+4zf0)

91 So if Kate was a Bond Girl. What would her name be?

Labia Stalksucker.

Posted by: Goldfinger at July 17, 2012 05:38 PM (QKKT0)

92 Any of the geezers from Expendables 2 could kick that Bond's ass.

Posted by: brak at July 17, 2012 05:38 PM (nIoiW)

93 @34 I actually think Daniel Craig has the right appearance to be Bond. Tough, mean[. . . ]

That fits Ian Fleming's definition of Bond quite well, actually. I seem to recall his describing Bond as not particularly handsome, with a slightly cruel look about him.

Posted by: Otis Criblecoblis at July 17, 2012 05:39 PM (IlZPo)

94 Didn't you post this teaser in May when it came out?

Posted by: Ravager at July 17, 2012 05:39 PM (wqffJ)

95 @83
Yes. And rated R. With naked chicks. Christina Hendricks might be persuaded to go topless for Bond. He keeps it classy.

Posted by: Jollyroger at July 17, 2012 05:39 PM (t06LC)

96 Conan I saw coming.
Posted by: Jollyroger at July 17, 2012 05:37 PM (t06LC)

The opening scene is what tricked me... you can't hold that against me.

Posted by: cajun carrot at July 17, 2012 05:39 PM (UZQM8)

97 I actually like the more low-key Daniel Craig Bond films. More like a LeCarre novel. Seems more real than Dr. ~~Evil~~No trying to destroy the world for one million dollars.

Oh, wait...

Posted by: Arms Merchant at July 17, 2012 05:39 PM (+XVQe)

98 James Bond in
The Woman Will Never Come Tomorrow Again

Posted by: Dr. Varno at July 17, 2012 05:40 PM (GO2/t)

99 Agree that Casino Royale was good. The only improvement QoS had from Casino was the re-introduction of light porn into the credit sequence. Only part of the movie worth watching.

Posted by: Burn the Witch at July 17, 2012 05:40 PM (rX1N2)

100 OT: Andrea Tantaros is doing a man on the street interview and I had no idea that she was so 'blessed'.

Posted by: Alex at July 17, 2012 05:40 PM (G39HO)

101 37 Bond, "You want to know about Skyfall?!?"*BAM* *BAM* *BAM*That is how MI6 found another secret agent.

---------

Are you trying to say Bond is a Nexus 007?

Posted by: Anachronda at July 17, 2012 05:40 PM (xGZ+b)

102 "Meh."

Could this be the world's first one-word Ace movie review?

Posted by: chemjeff at July 17, 2012 05:40 PM (d/5qf)

103 But at least the Moores were amusingly , unselfconsciously campy.

Posted by: BuddyPC at July 17, 2012 05:36 PM (KCuY9)

I enjoyed "A View toa Kill" quite a bit.

Posted by: ErikW at July 17, 2012 05:41 PM (j8AQC)

104 I wonder if Bond will use perfect gunfightery ...

Posted by: Honey Badger, drinker of mead at July 17, 2012 05:41 PM (GvYeG)

105 James Bond in
Tomorrow Will Die Tomorrow

Posted by: Dr. Varno at July 17, 2012 05:41 PM (GO2/t)

106 >>Could this be the world's first one-word Ace movie review?

It's the first one that took less than a screen.

Posted by: HeatherRadish™ at July 17, 2012 05:41 PM (ZKzrr)

107 James Bond in...

Octopussy: For Your Eyes Only

Posted by: chemjeff at July 17, 2012 05:42 PM (d/5qf)

108 I for one like Ace's movie reviews.

I'm here at work all day anyway, might as well do something.

Posted by: Jollyroger at July 17, 2012 05:43 PM (t06LC)

109
Posted by: Schaeffer at July 17, 2012 05:37 PM (ZN0re)

Ewww.... and.... clean up Sean Bean for Bond? LOL... would be MUCH more like the book character...

Posted by: GM CEO at July 17, 2012 05:43 PM (lZBBB)

110 That Punisher thing was just a test so Thomas Jane could get some work.
I always enjoyed the Bond films, except they've got to stop with the Crazy Bourne Shaky Cam thing.

Posted by: Iblis at July 17, 2012 05:43 PM (9221z)

111 So if Kate was a Bond Girl. What would her name be?

Mulva

Posted by: Jerry Sienfield at July 17, 2012 05:43 PM (GkwjL)

112 Kate Upton Bond Girl names
Honey Trapp
Honey Pott
Titlicious Galore
Sweater O'Mischief
M.F. Cupp
Ginger Finger.
Bristol Cities
Sweet R. Puppies

Posted by: Anna Puma at July 17, 2012 05:43 PM (bwH3a)

113
106 >>Could this be the world's first one-word Ace movie review?It's the first one that took less than a screen.
Posted by: HeatherRadish™ at July 17, 2012 05:41 PM (ZKzrr)

His review of Brokeback Mountain was 2 words. http://minx.cc/?post=147276

Posted by: buzzion at July 17, 2012 05:44 PM (GULKT)

114 James Bond in
License to Fap

Posted by: Dr. Varno at July 17, 2012 05:44 PM (GO2/t)

115 I actually like the more low-key Daniel Craig Bond films. More like a LeCarre novel. Seems more real than Dr. EvilNo trying to destroy the world for one million dollars.

Posted by: Arms Merchant at July 17, 2012 05:39 PM (+XVQe)

That was totally Casino Royale. Then QoS gave us a retarded airplane duel and hydrogen fuel cells exploding?

Posted by: Burn the Witch at July 17, 2012 05:44 PM (rX1N2)

116 The arch villain will be named Baine.

Posted by: Eebil Capitalist at July 17, 2012 05:44 PM (7+pP9)

117 I hate the fact that Bourne and Mission Impossible are the American equivalent, we are way behind Bond.

Posted by: Adam Smith's Invisible Pimp Hand at July 17, 2012 05:45 PM (ZhEoC)

118 Hated Roger Moore. The guy literally can't run. It's true.

They could have stopped after Connery. But we know how that goes.

Posted by: eleven at July 17, 2012 05:46 PM (KXm42)

119 105

how about "tomorrow will die today"

Posted by: phoenixgirl, team dagny at July 17, 2012 05:46 PM (Ho2rs)

120 Romney should run on the "Secret Agent Gap."

Hey, it worked for JFK.

Posted by: Arms Merchant at July 17, 2012 05:46 PM (+XVQe)

121
Kate Upton costars IN...

T H E

S P Y

W H O

C A M E

I N

F R O M

T H E

C O L D

AND THEN I JACKED MYSELF INTO THE LOCAL BURN UNIT WHEN I SAW HER NIPPLES

Posted by: Empire of Jeff at July 17, 2012 05:46 PM (FEqS6)

122 15

The villain?

M.I.T.T
==============
The man from B.A.I.N.

Posted by: RoyalOil at July 17, 2012 05:46 PM (kSaUf)

123 The writers need to stop making every Bond villain a bumbling narcissist like President Obama. Mix it up. No, really.

Posted by: Batman at July 17, 2012 05:47 PM (02fNe)

124 Are you trying to say Bond is a Nexus 007?

Posted by: Anachronda at July 17, 2012 05:40 PM (xGZ+b)
LOLHave you seen the video of people trying to unpack the Nexus 7 tablet? It's like the world's toughest packaging.

Posted by: Anna Puma at July 17, 2012 05:47 PM (bwH3a)

125 Make everybody carry .380's ...

Posted by: Honey Badger, drinker of mead at July 17, 2012 05:47 PM (GvYeG)

126 117 I hate the fact that Bourne and Mission Impossible are the American equivalent, we are way behind Bond.
Posted by: Adam Smith's Invisible Pimp Hand at July 17, 2012 05:45 PM (ZhEoC)

And that ugly, big-head goof, Matt Damon is no Sean Connery. He ain't even a George Lazarus.

Posted by: The Huggable Robot Devil at July 17, 2012 05:48 PM (GkwjL)

127 Eh. Ace panned Casino Royale before he saw it, too. He's just afraid to "commit."

Posted by: Redd at July 17, 2012 05:48 PM (suLy7)

128 Let me guess: villain is a billionaire capitalist.

Posted by: Kevin in ABQ at July 17, 2012 05:48 PM (7TwHV)

129 Worst Bond Moment: When that pigeon did the double-take.

You know what I'm talking about.

Posted by: Dr. Varno at July 17, 2012 05:49 PM (GO2/t)

130 118 "They could have stopped after Connery. But we know how that goes.

Hollywood Rule 1: Never risk creating something original when you can do a sequel for a sure thing.

Posted by: Arms Merchant at July 17, 2012 05:49 PM (+XVQe)

131 He ain't even a George Lazarus.
Posted by: The Huggable Robot Devil at July 17, 2012 05:48 PM (GkwjL)

George Lazenby. FRACK!

Posted by: The Huggable Robot Devil at July 17, 2012 05:49 PM (GkwjL)

132 The fact that Bond has survived so many impossible situations just goes to show what kind of a scum bag he really is. I'll bet he's secretly a jew.

Posted by: Anna Breslaw at July 17, 2012 05:50 PM (0d0K7)

133 "And that ugly, big-head goof, Matt Damon is no Sean Connery."

He plays any adult character about as convincingly as DiCaprio is able to.

Meaning, he's not

Posted by: Burn the Witch at July 17, 2012 05:50 PM (rX1N2)

134 Hollywood Rule 1: Never risk creating something original when you can do a sequel for a sure thing.

Posted by: Arms Merchant at July 17, 2012 05:49 PM (+XVQe)

Word to your moms!

Posted by: Caddyshack II at July 17, 2012 05:51 PM (j8AQC)

135 He's not one of them Bourne Agains, is he?

Posted by: Dr. Varno at July 17, 2012 05:51 PM (GO2/t)

136 One of the worst trends with trailers recently is they try to 'hide' the real story line for some reason - perhaps due to complaints that trailers used to give too much away.

Javier Bardem is the villain in this Bond movie....did he even show up in this trailer?

One of the big 'pulls' for your movie is the Big Conflict facing the hero, that the hero is going to struggle with and try to overcome......

I'm seeing too many trailers that spend all their time trying to impress with cutesy action fast-cut editing and almost no explanation of what the film is ABOUT.

WHY should I go see this thing? That trailer did not give me any real reason.

Posted by: drawandstrike at July 17, 2012 05:51 PM (uVLJc)

137 That whole Roger Moore period sucked. Only good movie was "Octopussy". The ONLY reason it was good because there was more hot women per square inch of screen that any other Bond movie.

Posted by: The Huggable Robot Devil at July 17, 2012 05:51 PM (GkwjL)

138 And that ugly, big-head goof, Matt Damon is no Sean Connery. He ain't even a George Lazarus.

Posted by: The Huggable Robot Devil at July 17, 2012 05:48 PM (GkwjL)

I've seen Damon in real life, the dude is 5'7" maybe, I can't take him seriously anymore. Same thing with Tom Cruise, these guys are midgets in real life.

Posted by: Adam Smith's Invisible Pimp Hand at July 17, 2012 05:51 PM (ZhEoC)

139 So if Kate was a Bond Girl. What would her name be?

Posted by: Anna Puma at July 17, 2012 05:22 PM (bwH3a)

Bacon Bits.

Posted by: Underground Vulgarian at July 17, 2012 05:51 PM (j5b23)

140 O/T: New hidden way they are raising the price w/o cluing you in. TV dinners have same weight as before but calories go down and cabs go up. All they do is cut down the size of the main entre and increase the amount of mashed potatoes.

Posted by: Vic at July 17, 2012 05:52 PM (YdQQY)

141 WHY should I go see this thing? That trailer did not give me any real reason.
Posted by: drawandstrike at July 17, 2012 05:51 PM (uVLJc)

I think it's a teaser trailer, not the full on trailer-trailer

Posted by: Underground Vulgarian (channeling Whoopi!) at July 17, 2012 05:53 PM (j5b23)

142 SamWilliams.Bitches.

Posted by: Honey Badger, drinker of mead at July 17, 2012 05:53 PM (GvYeG)

143 I'll be working with Rectum Shaft.

Posted by: the new, gay james bond at July 17, 2012 05:53 PM (vDl/w)

144 Always been a Bond fan, books and movies. Moore's films don't hold up as well because of the 70s camp jokes. Although I thing The Spy Who Loved Me is top 5. But Moonraker battles The World is Not Enough for the worst in my book. Honorable mention for the worst to Die Another Day and The Man With the Golden Gun.

Posted by: Doc at July 17, 2012 05:54 PM (biMBg)

145 129
Worst Bond Moment:

That bit floors me every time.

It's like they couldn't even be bothered to film a pigeon for a few minutes and get it right.

"Right! Brilliant!"

That was completely Scott of the Antarctic.

Posted by: Clutch Cargo at July 17, 2012 05:54 PM (Qxdfp)

146 OK then ... best Bond movie??

Posted by: Honey Badger, drinker of mead at July 17, 2012 05:55 PM (GvYeG)

147
62....I think that Paul Bettany would've been a better choice.

Bettany would be a great Sherlock. Bond I don't know. He's been relegated to sidekick for some reason.

He's been good in every movie where he's gotten the lead....like 'Priest' and 'Wimbledon'.
But yeah, for some unknown reason....he has been relegated to more sidekick roles.
Even to being the voice of Iron Man's talking computer.

But check out the main photo of him, on his Imdb page....he even has the perfect sort of smirk to be James Bond.

http:/ /www.imdb.com/name/nm0079273/

Posted by: wheatie at July 17, 2012 05:55 PM (MbB0O)

148 146 OK then ... best Bond movie??
Posted by: Honey Badger, drinker of mead at July 17, 2012 05:55 PM (GvYeG)

Goldfinger.

I'd do Honor Blackman right now.

Posted by: The Huggable Robot Devil at July 17, 2012 05:57 PM (GkwjL)

149 James Bond in...
Never Say Never Never

Posted by: andycanuck at July 17, 2012 05:57 PM (vDl/w)

150 146
OK then ... best Bond movie??

Casino Royale - the first one with David Niven, Peter Sellers, Ursula Andress, Orson Wells and the pedophile.

Best soundtrack by far.

Posted by: Clutch Cargo at July 17, 2012 05:58 PM (Qxdfp)

151 Looks like they've dropped some of the grittiness that made the other two good movies.

Posted by: rdbrewer at July 17, 2012 05:59 PM (Iyg03)

152 I liked the recent Casino Royale.

Posted by: Honey Badger, drinker of mead at July 17, 2012 05:59 PM (GvYeG)

153 I must confess Pierce Brosnan motoring blithely about in a Soviet-era tank in 'Goldeneye' was good-old-fashioned movie fun. What was the female villain in that one, Nympholena Humpalotzky? Ivana Kutcherkokov? Titsky Spazzchamberia? I forget.

Posted by: Sort-of-Mad Max at July 17, 2012 06:01 PM (VMcoS)

154 @83 +007.

If you're a fan of the novels, none of the movies make any sense.
In Bond's first "action" sequence (East European bombers in Royale-Les-Eaux), he pukes from fear. Later, he gets his nuts whacked with a carpet beater. It's a whole different take on "action hero."

I'd like to make a movie out of all the parts of the books they left out of the movies. And now you're only thinking about testicles. Aren't you.

Posted by: comatus at July 17, 2012 06:01 PM (ZOlM3)

155 Best to Worst

Goldfinger
You Only Live Twice
The Spy Who Loved Me
From Russia With Love
Dr. No
GoldenEye
Live and Let Die
Casino Royale
Thunderball
For Your Eyes Only
Diamonds Are Forever
A View to a Kill
Octopussy
The Living Daylights
On Her Majesty's Secret Service
Quantum of Solace
Tomorrow Never Dies
License to Kill
The Man With the Golden Gun
Die Another Day
Moonraker
The World is Not Enough

Posted by: Doc at July 17, 2012 06:01 PM (biMBg)

156 ...and the pedophile.
Gee. That really narrows it down in Hollywood.

Do you want to at least give us the initials?

Posted by: andycanuck at July 17, 2012 06:02 PM (vDl/w)

157 @150, the best part (after all the 60's wackiness) is the David Niven speech right at the end. David Niven would have known, too. Look up how he spent the War.

Posted by: comatus at July 17, 2012 06:03 PM (ZOlM3)

158 What was the female villain in that one, Nympholena Humpalotzky? Ivana Kutcherkokov? Titsky Spazzchamberia? I forget.
Posted by: Sort-of-Mad Max at July 17, 2012 06:01 PM (VMcoS)

Xenia Onatopp

Posted by: The Huggable Robot Devil at July 17, 2012 06:04 PM (+hB3s)

159 156 Gee. That really narrows it down in Hollywood.

Ah, ok.
Director pedophile.
Oh wait, that doesn't help.
Used to be funny.
Nope, not that either.

Old joke: Who's in the film business and comes in a little yellow box?

Posted by: Clutch Cargo at July 17, 2012 06:07 PM (Qxdfp)

160 Matt Damon has only been in one movie where I totally bought the character:

The Rainmaker.

Cuz he was playing a young lawyer fresh out of law school who knew he didn't know anything.

Posted by: drawandstrike at July 17, 2012 06:07 PM (uVLJc)

161 Encore has been running them for the last few days, 1 per night not quite in order. If you have directv you have the channels right now as part of their viacom dispute.

Tonight is the fake-Bond Never Say Never Again. I'd put that down with License to Kill on my list. I hate the guy who played the villain, and the corny video game they play in the middle. Kim Basinger looked good though.

Posted by: Doc at July 17, 2012 06:08 PM (biMBg)

162 You guys are just goofing on Ace, right? You know he just put up a teaser trailer & hasn't seen the movie yet, right? Right?

Posted by: drawandstrike at July 17, 2012 06:09 PM (uVLJc)

163 @150 I must confess the original Casino Royal is a huge guilty pleasure of mine

Posted by: Dag at July 17, 2012 06:09 PM (26gda)

164 Someone went through all the novels and added up all Bond's drinks and it turns out that he drank scotch (or was it bourbon?) more than vodka martinis.

Posted by: Dr. Varno at July 17, 2012 06:11 PM (GO2/t)

165 Obama is a stuttering clusterf*ck of a miserable failure.

Posted by: steevy at July 17, 2012 06:14 PM (6o4Fb)

166 The opening scenes from Thunderball were the peak of the Bond films. The Vulcan bomber scene was the ultimate in cool. I nearly shat myself when the diver cut the oxygen hose.

Nothing afterwards ever came even close.

Posted by: Largo at July 17, 2012 06:21 PM (7+pP9)

167 Tonight is the fake-Bond Never Say Never Again. I'd
put that down with License to Kill on my list. I hate the guy who played
the villain, and the corny video game they play in the middle. Kim
Basinger looked good though.

Posted by: Doc
............
Which, if I recall, pretty much stole half the plot/storyline of Thunderball, right?

Connery should have given up before that. He was looking a little long in the tooth on Diamonds Are Forever as it was.

I've been recording the Connery ones on Encore this past week. I started watching Thunderball, but those sped-up fight scenes are coming off quite hokey.. I may skip to You Only Live Twice if I've recorded it already.. "Welcome to Japan, Mr. Bond!"

Posted by: Chi-Town Jerry at July 17, 2012 06:22 PM (UTq/I)

168 I thought that Jason Statham (in the original Transporter days) might be a worthy Bond, but he became filler for many crappy movies (to pay the rent I guess).

Posted by: Hrothgar at July 17, 2012 06:23 PM (Cnqmv)

169 154-- "If you're a fan of the novels, none of the movies make any sense.
In
Bond's first "action" sequence (East European bombers in
Royale-Les-Eaux), he pukes from fear. Later, he gets his nuts whacked
with a carpet beater. It's a whole different take on "action hero.""

Casino Royale he gets his nuts whacked. Made sense to me.

Posted by: Ravager at July 17, 2012 06:31 PM (wqffJ)

170 167.... yeah, it's the plot of Thunderball, with some early 80s flare, and Connery supposedly an "older" Bond. Given his age at that time, they didn't have much choice.

Also has the hands-down worst Bond theme.

Posted by: Doc at July 17, 2012 06:32 PM (biMBg)

171 I really liked the last Bond film, and a lot of people hated it. But I agree, I think Statham could be a good Bond.

Personally I wish they'd go with the idea that James Bond is just a title for a job that they keep filling with different guys over the years, so when they change actors its just part of the MI6 system. The old one dies, a new guy steps in.

Posted by: Christopher Taylor at July 17, 2012 06:32 PM (r4wIV)

172 >>>I thought that Jason Statham (in the original Transporter days) might be a worthy Bond, but he became filler for many crappy movies (to pay the rent I guess).

Dude, those crappy movies have made him well over $30 million.

Posted by: Redd at July 17, 2012 06:36 PM (suLy7)

173 "Goldy Winnebagos" would be an excellent Bond name for Ms. Upton.

Posted by: Inspector Asshole at July 17, 2012 06:37 PM (RM/vV)

174
Which, if I recall, pretty much stole half the plot/storyline of Thunderball, right?

All of the plot, or at least as much of it as they wanted to use. The only reason that NSNA exists is because the Broccoli's film rights to Thunderball were screwed up and they couldn't stop 'em from doing the film. I seem to remember the current rights holder making noises about ANOTHER Thunderball remake a few years ago.

The only line of dialogue in the film worth a damn is from Q: "I hope we're in for some gratuitous sex and violence!"

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at July 17, 2012 06:38 PM (TIIx5)

175 I liked the women in Casino Royale. One was in Kingdom of God and the other in Zen. She played a very sexy Italian.

Posted by: Redd at July 17, 2012 06:39 PM (suLy7)

176 Fools.
You want to make a movie from a book? Hasn't happened, yet, with Bond.
Start the final series with "Casino Royale". Make the bitch an abortive female who donates to racist/abortion/Progressive causes. The drama plays out in media. The dead die because they lack/gain media profile. Their deaths "fit" a media narrative. Murky commodity/currency traders are the ones funding the animus. Bond is a Scot. M is a Cornishman. You fools won't have any idea. Doom.
DOOM. (Fighting this for decades.)

Posted by: Thorvald at July 17, 2012 06:41 PM (1V6Pv)

177 The interesting thing is there's a Bond movie myth - that each movie that is made, James Bond 007 isn't the guy - it's a code name.

Sean Connery was the second (David Niven was the first in the original "Casino Royale") and the guy in "In Her Majesty's Secret Service" was the third. Each actor's first appearance tends to emphasise this - in the first appearances, the 'agent' is introduced to M and Q (who do not change at all until just recently) and have completely different tones/qualities. Then they die or retire and a new guy is given the Bond code name.

It actually works for every movie in turn. Bizarre but neat.

Posted by: Inspector Asshole at July 17, 2012 06:42 PM (RM/vV)

178 Can't stand Daniel Craig as 007, he has little class and sophistication, and he places the iconic character as a thug. Its the only time I have ever watched a James Bond film and hoped that he would get killed.

Posted by: Drew in Mo at July 17, 2012 06:42 PM (nEo/i)

179 My only beef in Casino Royale was the poker scene. I know they were jumping on the hot fad, but its just so bad, and drags on for so long.

We met James Bond at a baccarat table for a reason. Though not one that can be filmed for an extended period.

Posted by: Doc at July 17, 2012 06:43 PM (biMBg)

180 Still remember the Bond movie ad in the late 70's Nat Lamp Sunday Newspaper Parody. "James Bond is...The Spy With The Biggest Cock In The World".

Posted by: Bruce Strang at July 17, 2012 06:50 PM (R1591)

181 178-
If you watch Craig as the replacement Bond for Pierce Brosnan (who went AWOL), it works. He is a thug, a severely damaged man. And notice that M treats him like a bad replacement - one she is eager to snuff so that she can get a decent replacement Bond. One that she doesn't loathe as much.

Using the option of James Bond being a job title - then it makes more sense that he's a stone killer when he's portrayed by Craig. Sean Connery's Bond in this retcon is an ancient, 80 plus year old retiree and Timothy Dutton's Bond is likewise hiding somewhere in the tropics, wandering around with a metal detector on the beach (with a gun built into the metal detector - he has standards ya know).

Craig's Bond is a fucked up near-psychotic who is not keen on staying in his job. Different character entirely from Roger Moore's Bond who is probably living it up in a titty bar in Rio.

Posted by: Inspector Asshole at July 17, 2012 06:54 PM (RM/vV)

182 http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?VISuperSize&item=360341612051

Posted by: Bruce Strang at July 17, 2012 06:57 PM (R1591)

183 Roger Moore's James Bond was last seen in Cannonball Run. His cover name was Simon Goldfarb and he thought he was James Bond.

Posted by: Anna Puma at July 17, 2012 07:06 PM (bwH3a)

184 So if Kate was a Bond Girl. What would her name be? Posted by: Anna Puma at July 17, 2012 05:22 PM (bwH3a) Too Phat
Loosa Kuplepounds

Posted by: Brad at July 17, 2012 07:16 PM (fSQ25)

185 When I was young I would watch James Bond to ogle the girls and the gadgets., but now I have the internet.

On a side note as an indictment of our academic, institutions, my buddy has 3 credit hours in James Bond. This is not Bond and culture or anything like that, it is just all about the Character.

Posted by: Mekan at July 17, 2012 07:25 PM (T/L2Z)

186 "Goldy Winnebagos" would be an excellent Bond name for Ms. Upton.

In Ian Fleming's notes it was expressly stated the character was to be named "Holly Gobigtitties".

Posted by: Robert Osborne at July 17, 2012 07:38 PM (HtUdo)

187 Live and Let Die might be the most racist movie ever.

It's absolutely hilarious, though

Posted by: The Q at July 17, 2012 07:40 PM (B/yDO)

188 "Some men are coming to kill us. We going to kill them first."

Israel should make James Bond their spokesperson for bombing Iran.

Posted by: Moshe Al-Shabazz at July 17, 2012 07:53 PM (W6k2E)

189 Good. The thread is pretty much dead so I can speak heresy. I always thought Brosnan would make a great Bond when he was in Remington Steele. Turned out to be my favorite.
Favorite Bond stunt is at the beginning of Goldeneye. In the above mentioned tank scene when he straightened his tie, classic.
Favorite Bond girl? Toss up. Barbara Bach (thank you for putting her in two) and Halle Berry.
But let's face it, they were all saaamokin'.
Favorite bond flick. Probably partly because it was the one that started them all for me,,,Thunderball.

But what do I know. I enjoy Hudson Hawk once every couple years. A one, a two, a one two three or would you like to swing on a star

Posted by: teej at July 17, 2012 08:24 PM (fdnD9)

190 It ain't a Bond movie if it ain't Connery just like it ain't a Dirty Harry movie if it ain't Eastwood. That's just the way it is.

Posted by: AnonymousDrivel at July 17, 2012 08:25 PM (eHIJJ)

191 "Live and Let Die might be the most racist movie ever."

Really? I thought it was pretty cool, the black guys were badass and had Bond on the run.

Posted by: Christopher Taylor at July 17, 2012 08:52 PM (r4wIV)

192 The only chance for Bond is to go backwards. In the aforementioned "Live and Let Die"...the book not the movie... it is mentioned that very young nab\val attache Bond spent time in the US just beforeWWII, and that he returned to Europe during the war. Here's an idea: Bond as a young spy parachutes into France in April 1944 with orders to meet up with the Resistance, tear up raillines and and kick Nazi ass ahead of the planned Allied landing at...Cherbourg. Yep, that's what M tells him. Of course Bond gets caught and gets torured and gives up the plan. But being Bond, he escapes. He wanders around Europe for the rest of '44 kicking Nazi ass, after figuring out that he was completely fucking expendable and his mission was actually designed to deceve the Nazis.He meets a girl or three, etc. Then at the end, he returns to England and M, who figures he's just another corpse by now, to settle scores. Strides into M's office, draws a pistol, and the movie ends. Something like that. You screewriter lurkers, clean it up, give it an ending. It's yours. JoePa liked it, btw.

Posted by: PSUalum at July 17, 2012 09:56 PM (WUcSM)

193 RE: 126 - hell,, he ain't even George Costanza

Posted by: Frank Discussion at July 18, 2012 12:16 AM (KMT+r)

194 I would actually love to see James Bond's books done in period, set when they were written. Not even the 60s, since they were late 50s early 60s stuff and they could be much closer to the original book than the modern trappings. They're just about out of short stories to somehow turn into a full motion picture anyway. Redoing old bond movies that sucked hard bananas like Moonraker or The Spy Who Loved Me would be really welcome, if done right.

Posted by: Christopher Taylor at July 18, 2012 01:14 AM (r4wIV)

Processing 0.02, elapsed 0.0354 seconds.
15 queries taking 0.0149 seconds, 203 records returned.
Page size 92 kb.
Powered by Minx 0.7 alpha.