"Major" DC Character To Be Revealed As Gay Is... Um, The Original Green Lantern From the 1940s

Alan Scott?

Alan Scott isn't the Green Lantern that anyone thinks of. Alan Scott is the original Green Lantern from the 1940s, when the Green Lantern's powers were magic, not sci-fi super-power, and when the power of the Green Lantern would work on anything that was not...

Yellow, you say.

No, Yellow came later, with the real Green Lantern.

The original Green Lantern's power didn't work on anything... made of wood.

Made of wood?

Made of wood, yes.

If a Giant Robot showed up, and was made of wood, well, that would be a very exciting Green Lantern adventure.

The Green Lantern was a character rebooted by DC with a whole new Lantern (Hal Jordan) and a whole new mythos/backstory (Guardians of the Galaxy created a galactic police force of Green Lanterns) and a new costume (the original Green Lantern had no green in his costume -- he was like orange and purple. Explain that.)

This old grandpa Green Lantern does still exist in the DC universe, but as sort of like a legacy figure.

You ever see that Greatest American Hero were Bill & Ralph met the people who had the Greatest American Hero super-suit before them? Couple of old guys. Anyway, Alan Scott's like that. You would call him a Green Lantern, but never the Green Lantern.

This really is not "major" at all. There are three other Green Lanterns besides Hal Jordan who are more important than Alan Scott -- Kyle Rayner (the young one), John Stewart (the black one), and Guy Gardner (the hot-headed comic relief one).

This is DC taking a character who doesn't have his own book (and hasn't, for sixty years) and making a splash with him, because, really, who cares about Alan Scott?

I mean, I think it's a marginally interesting thing (marginally), but then, I can recite the Green Lantern oath and tell you what Sector of the Galaxy Earth is located in.

Anyway, you're bein' played for a chump, buddy!

Iím hearing that itís Alan Scott, the original Green Lantern.

Created by Martin Nodell, and first written with Bill Finger in 1940, Green Lantern was originally a mysticaly-based superhero, whose powers were derived from the flame of a magic lamp and he became an original member of the Justice Society Of America.

I thought I saw on Twitter it would be Kyle Rayner, which made sense, except it was too... um, stereotypical. Rayner is a slender, single young graphic artist with a whimsical imagination, living in New York City.

They'd be crucified for that.

Kyle Rayner is the one person in the DC Universe who can never be gay.

Anyway, if you know comics, you know they are shameless hucksters. All day long they plot ways to trick people into getting into the news.

They're not malicious. But they are shameless hucksters. Always have been. How many covers have read "The Day Superman Died"? Like twenty. They ran that every third month in the fifties.

And how many times did he actually die?

Like, one time. Sort of. For four months. Every other time it was Jimmy Olson's imagination or some weak crap.

This is on the level of revealing that Mr. Mxypltzyk is bi.

Posted by: Ace at 09:52 PM



Comments

1 So gay.

Posted by: soothsayer at May 24, 2012 09:55 PM (oB2II)

2
oh, and...

evenin, homos

Posted by: soothsayer at May 24, 2012 09:55 PM (BUcLz)

3 that guy on Glee...............gay.

Posted by: SantaRosaStan at May 24, 2012 09:55 PM (Dll6b)

4 Barney Frank...............gay

Posted by: SantaRosaStan at May 24, 2012 09:56 PM (Dll6b)

5 Huh. I never read any Green Lantern stuff. Maybe because it was ghey.

Posted by: Jeanne. at May 24, 2012 09:56 PM (cJfsy)

6 Also, Alan Scott has a daughter, superheroine Jade. Just another reason this "revelation" makes little sense.

Posted by: Genetic Tunder at May 24, 2012 09:56 PM (3yCFy)

7 Anderson Mole Cooper................tres gay

Posted by: SantaRosaStan at May 24, 2012 09:56 PM (Dll6b)

8 God, this whole post is fucking gay.

tl;dr

Posted by: Masturbatin' Pete at May 24, 2012 09:56 PM (qyB3P)

9 All the DC characters are gay.

Posted by: eman at May 24, 2012 09:57 PM (XrDou)

10 Alan Ladd..............,evolved into gay. Short and gay...

Posted by: SantaRosaStan at May 24, 2012 09:57 PM (Dll6b)

11 But does he hook up with random dudes in Chicago bath houses?

Posted by: B. Soetoro at May 24, 2012 09:59 PM (u1bVw)

12 In the 80's the Super Friends added FIRESTORM.

He was certainly gay. And his powers wouldn't work on anything organic.

Posted by: soothsayer at May 24, 2012 09:59 PM (052zE)

13 Brainiac, bi, but leans gay big time.

Darkseid, Girl, please.

Posted by: eman at May 24, 2012 09:59 PM (XrDou)

14
I was never into the superhero comics as a kid, because I knew then what I know now: multicolored spandex is gayer than a lavender ascot-wearing ballet dancer with a 70s pornstache.

Much preferred the horror comics.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at May 24, 2012 09:59 PM (Rhie+)

15 Like Tom Cruise gay? More gay? Is that possible?

Posted by: Co$ at May 24, 2012 09:59 PM (u1bVw)

16 The way Mr. Mxypltzyk wore his hat makes my leg tingle.

Posted by: Dave Mathews at May 24, 2012 10:00 PM (mxnUd)

17 Obama is a stuttering clusterf*ck of a miserable failure.

Posted by: steevy at May 24, 2012 10:00 PM (7W3wI)

18 I thought all comics were gay?

Posted by: garrett at May 24, 2012 10:00 PM (XNk0Y)

19 Good call DC
http://www.flickr.com/photos/wootpics/5507946250/

Posted by: philo at May 24, 2012 10:00 PM (JyiiJ)

20 flame of a magic lamp

Hmmmmmmm.I think I found a replacement for the Barnegat lightship.

Posted by: Gov/Rev Jim McGreevy at May 24, 2012 10:00 PM (c9Ivb)

21 Damn,I wanted it to be Martian Manhunter.

Posted by: steevy at May 24, 2012 10:00 PM (7W3wI)

22 Ironic that the gay green lantern has no control over my "wood".

Posted by: Woodley at May 24, 2012 10:00 PM (u1bVw)

23 Just a fucking ratings ploy- cynical and transparent. They've been putting gays in things to boost ratings since Ellen DeGeneres... her show was cancelled regardless. No wonder why comic book readership has absolutely plunged in the last 20 years. 95% of comic book stores went out of business. Guess what? Nobody gave a shit about Alan Scott GL before and nobody's going to read his comic now. Once it gets fucking cancelled, then the writers are going to pat themselves on the back and say "Well it didn't work out because it was so ahead of its time and maybe readers aren't ready for blah, blah, blah..." Maybe you should go back to making these comic books age appropriate for kids and not for 45 year old men if you want to increase sales.

Posted by: Sean at May 24, 2012 10:01 PM (HXwLc)

24 "Major" DC Character To Be Revealed As Gay Is... Um, The Original Green Lantern From the 1940s


I knew the Green Lantern was gay when I was 10. Before I even knew what gay meant, besides really happy.

Posted by: CoolCzech at May 24, 2012 10:02 PM (vXwX5)

25 the gay green lantern has no control over my "wood

It just was knot his thing.

Posted by: Gov/Rev Jim McGreevy at May 24, 2012 10:02 PM (c9Ivb)

26
"Siiiiiiiize...of a mouse!"

Posted by: soothsayer at May 24, 2012 10:02 PM (oB2II)

27 #23: Sadly, kids can't afford comics anymore.

Posted by: Genetic Tunder at May 24, 2012 10:02 PM (3yCFy)

28
Kyle Raynor's also got another odd-ballbit of notorietythat might keep him hetero. The victim that spawned the term "women stuffed into refrigerators" (a reference to how the SOs of male superheroes seem to frequently come to gruesome ends) was Raynor's girlfriend. So one way or another, he's going to be permanently thought of as "a guy who's interested in women".
There's a problem with Alan Scott, though. iirc, the guy's got two kids, who are both costumed characters in their own rights...

Posted by: junior at May 24, 2012 10:02 PM (jmB45)

29
This is on the level of revealing that Mr. Mxypltzyk is bi.








And apparently, Welsh.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at May 24, 2012 10:03 PM (Rhie+)

30 Hmmmm... rumour I heard it was Northstar... a Flash Wannbe from CANADA...

Posted by: Romeo13 at May 24, 2012 10:03 PM (lZBBB)

31 Know who else is gay?

Aquaman.

Yup. You heard it here first. And Flash. Doesn't come gayer than the Flash.

And the Torch? Well... any guy that activates his powers by saying, "Flame ON!.."

Posted by: CoolCzech at May 24, 2012 10:03 PM (vXwX5)

32 I thot Robin came out of the closet a long time ago.

Posted by: Beefy Meatball at May 24, 2012 10:03 PM (mxnUd)

33 Does anyone think that there's a huge, untapped (ahem) horde of fanboys that were yearning for this?

Posted by: Gov/Rev Jim McGreevy at May 24, 2012 10:03 PM (c9Ivb)

34 #30: He's Marvel, not DC.

Posted by: Genetic Tunder at May 24, 2012 10:04 PM (3yCFy)

35 27
Absolutely true. They're $3 or $4. They should be $1 at the most. The comic book divisions of these companies are run by morons. These characters are well known and popular on TV and movies and videogames but no one buys comics except a small niche.

Posted by: Sean at May 24, 2012 10:04 PM (HXwLc)

36 My favorite gay superhero was the Atom.

Posted by: Richard Geer at May 24, 2012 10:04 PM (vXwX5)

37 If the Green Lantern is from Jersey he certainly is gay. If he still lives there, that is.

Posted by: Milton J. Shapp at May 24, 2012 10:05 PM (ufLRj)

38 Meanwhile Bruce Wayne continues to take in young boys as "Robins" despite banging socialites in public.

Tony Stark on the other hand would be a REAL surprise and a slap in the face to fans. Though I wouldn't put it past the comic book industry from turning Stark gay as a slight at the current conservative learning movie version of Iron Man.

Posted by: Blue Falcon in Boston at May 24, 2012 10:05 PM (KCvsd)

39 Look, just because asuper herohas a wide stance, that doesn't make him gay.

Posted by: Larry Craig at May 24, 2012 10:05 PM (XNk0Y)

40 Superheroes don't come any gayer than that wifebeater, Ant-Man. Who, by the way, also created the super-menace Ultron.

Posted by: Genetic Tunder at May 24, 2012 10:06 PM (3yCFy)

41 My favorite comic book hero was Fat Freddie's Cat. He mighta been gay, but he didn't brag about it.

Posted by: Milton J. Shapp at May 24, 2012 10:06 PM (ufLRj)

42 you know what is the gay?

The democratic party, all of them, except the union goons

Posted by: moron #4 at May 24, 2012 10:06 PM (RQjPS)

43 When I heard they were making this announcement I immediately thought "must be Kyle Raynor " but I see your point....Alan Scott though....that is weak sauce. You could kill him with a tooth pick.

Posted by: dr. shatterhand at May 24, 2012 10:07 PM (Im4sr)

44 #42, Those Teamsters are oh so surly, it's like they are compensating for something......

Posted by: Blue Falcon in Boston at May 24, 2012 10:07 PM (KCvsd)

45 31
Know who else is gay?

Aquaman.

Yup. You heard it here first. And Flash. Doesn't come gayer than the Flash.

And the Torch? Well... any guy that activates his powers by saying, "Flame ON!.."


Posted by: CoolCzech

Look, they're all queers, okay? Batman, Aquaman, Spiderman, Robin, all those Avenger homos, Wolverine, Magneto, the Thing, Ironman. Queers all. And if you like comic books, you're a fruit too. You like to look at drawings of men wearing skin tight clothing, flexing and acting macho. Gay. You are gay.

Posted by: Masturbatin' Pete at May 24, 2012 10:07 PM (qyB3P)

46 If they wanted to sell magazines to the comic book crowd the character would have been female.....

Posted by: Desicat at May 24, 2012 10:07 PM (/JZTQ)

47 Wait.

You mean guys in tights are... gay?

Posted by: CoolCzech at May 24, 2012 10:07 PM (vXwX5)

48 Wheew, a lot of pentup gay and p*nis comments!

Posted by: thunderb at May 24, 2012 10:07 PM (Dnbau)

49 Bat Manuel -

"Tough night last night - I saved the Womens Brazilian Volleyball Team ... twice"

Dude's totally overcompensating.

Posted by: BumperStickerist at May 24, 2012 10:08 PM (rEWPE)

50 I think they might have chosen Alan Scott in part for the wood jokes.

Posted by: Genetic Tunder at May 24, 2012 10:08 PM (3yCFy)

51 Does Chairface Chippendale . . . oh, not DC? Not even a hero? Never mind, then.

Posted by: Stark Dickfl√ľssig at May 24, 2012 10:08 PM (0XbWx)

52 46
They've already turned every secondary female character in the DC universe into a bi or lez- Poison Ivy, Harley Quinn, Montoya, Batgirl and so on

Posted by: Sean at May 24, 2012 10:09 PM (HXwLc)

53 Clark Kent never gets any nookie. I'm just sayin'.

Kill Bill's Bill explains Superman:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PdWF7kd1tNo

Posted by: GnuBreed at May 24, 2012 10:09 PM (ccXZP)

54
Morrocco Mole was gay, but not Secret Squirrel.

Posted by: soothsayer at May 24, 2012 10:09 PM (ZgBZU)

55 Red Bee!

Posted by: Trimegistus at May 24, 2012 10:09 PM (3chXT)

56 A Duck!

Posted by: Arthur, King of the Britons at May 24, 2012 10:09 PM (dKWiU)

57 Rosarch meanwhile is too busy throwing bad guys, that he lit on fire, down elevator shafts.

Posted by: Blue Falcon in Boston at May 24, 2012 10:09 PM (KCvsd)

58
Look to the West Little Wooden Boy - You're going to feel a pinch...

Posted by: The Gay Tick at May 24, 2012 10:10 PM (XNk0Y)

59 Power Girl. Bunk.

Posted by: Beefy Meatball at May 24, 2012 10:10 PM (mxnUd)

60 I just tried to explain this to my wife, shes generally pretty tolerant of my nerdiness. This was like speaking nerd Greek. Her eyes started to glaze over. I should have gotten out my glow in the dark green lantern ring.

Posted by: dr. shatterhand at May 24, 2012 10:10 PM (Im4sr)

61
Powdered Toast Man, definitely gay. But with super-flatulence.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at May 24, 2012 10:11 PM (Rhie+)

62 Oh good...the ONT is.....no wait, it's another CAC Wisconsin thread.......

Posted by: Tami at May 24, 2012 10:11 PM (X6akg)

63
GUYS
THIS IS IMPORTANT SOCIAL STUFF
GUYS
GUYS
GUYS
HEY GUYS
GUYS
WE'RE MAKING A DIFFERENCE
we're like rosa parks

Posted by: Z Ryan at May 24, 2012 10:11 PM (tsC/8)

64 Well, not to use Sherlockian logic here -

and this is a technical comic book universe question for ace -

Couldn't we just look at the Bizarro World characters and those that aren't gay in Bizarro world would, necessarily, be gay in non-Bizarro world?
_

-

Posted by: BumperStickerist at May 24, 2012 10:11 PM (rEWPE)

65 My powers work on wood.

Posted by: Barack Obama at May 24, 2012 10:12 PM (3aXbg)

66 Naw... I am pretty sure it will be the FLASH!
Think about it.
A scarlett costume with fancy trim, thin, fit,medium attractive and a "fast" mover. Plus it sure looks like he carries some Poppers in that belt.
And I can not recall him ever having a romantic fling with a perky young gal.

Posted by: DoverPro at May 24, 2012 10:12 PM (wN82N)

67 Let me get this straight. The gay guys weakness is wood? These guys must be desperate for cash.

Posted by: Big T Party at May 24, 2012 10:12 PM (EhUTA)

68 "Feed 'em to me live..."

Posted by: Sgt Rock at May 24, 2012 10:13 PM (BdTXW)

69 They've already turned every secondary female
character in the DC universe into a bi or lez- Poison Ivy, Harley Quinn,
Montoya, Batgirl and so on


Posted by: Sean

Wait what!?!

Posted by: Gov/Rev Jim McGreevy at May 24, 2012 10:13 PM (c9Ivb)

70 >>>Couldn't we just look at the Bizarro World characters and those that aren't gay in Bizarro world would, necessarily, be gay in non-Bizarro world?

Me so gay, me love vagina.

Posted by: Gay Bizarro at May 24, 2012 10:14 PM (aw5Tx)

71 "Greatest American Hero super-suit"??????????

The proper phrase is "MAGIC JAMMIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Posted by: ALBERTTHEALLEYCAT at May 24, 2012 10:14 PM (kVA6I)

72 If it turned out to be Guy Gardner, the greatest of the Green Lanterns, I'd be pissed.

Posted by: Genetic Tunder at May 24, 2012 10:14 PM (3yCFy)

73 They should have gone with booster gold. Guy Gardner would have been a good pick. All is pent up aggression because he was hiding a terrible secret..

Posted by: dr. shatterhand at May 24, 2012 10:15 PM (Im4sr)

74 I thought Marylyn Chambers had superpowers that worked on wood.

Posted by: USA at May 24, 2012 10:15 PM (6Cjut)

75 nah his ring now just works, period.

When they reintroduced him in like the 70s or 80s or whenever, they retconned him, and just mentioned that his ring didn't work on wood, because of an imperfection or something.

Then like he got the normal ring-that-doesn't-work on yellow.

But now I think they got rid of that idea, too. I think the rings just work generally now.

Posted by: ace at May 24, 2012 10:15 PM (aw5Tx)

76
You didn't listen!

Posted by: Frederick Wortham at May 24, 2012 10:16 PM (tsC/8)

77 Actually, last I heard, they had Lanterns in every color of the rainbow (and then some). They had different weaknesses, and their powers were fueled by different emotions.

I'm guessing that's changed with the universal reboot.

Posted by: Genetic Tunder at May 24, 2012 10:17 PM (3yCFy)

78 What about the Lone Ranger?

A cowboy riding around the Old West in a cute little party mask and an old Squaw calling himself "Tonto" couldn't possibly be gayer, could he?

Posted by: CoolCzech at May 24, 2012 10:18 PM (vXwX5)

79
Lone Ranger? Straight.
Rawhide Kid? ummmmm

Posted by: Z Ryan at May 24, 2012 10:19 PM (tsC/8)

80 75 The yellow thing doesn't seem operative anymore.It was stupid anyway,use yellow bullets and kill Green Lanterns.

Posted by: steevy at May 24, 2012 10:19 PM (7W3wI)

81 There are more Mormons in the US than gays so when are they going to be inclusive of that minority group? Hmm... never I'm guessing because they are the wrong minority group.

Posted by: Sean at May 24, 2012 10:19 PM (HXwLc)

82 I don't know nothing about no Green Lantern comics, but doing a search on "Kyle Rayner" on the internet, I came across this...


http://tinyurl.com/cduxctm


Posted by: Serious Cat at May 24, 2012 10:20 PM (zrpqj)

83 This might be a bigger deal than you realize, Ace.

Last year, DC Comics started up a new series of books, reimagining their old classics. It was similar to what Marvel did when they came up with the Ultimate universe about ten years ago.

The new DC universe was called is called "52," and it sounds like Alan Scott is being positioned to be kind of a bigger deal in the 52 universe than he's been in the traditional DC universe.

Posted by: Kensington at May 24, 2012 10:21 PM (uaEZS)

84 "75 nah his ring now just works, period.

When they reintroduced him in like the 70s or 80s or whenever, they retconned him, and just mentioned that his ring didn't work on wood, because of an imperfection or something.

Then like he got the normal ring-that-doesn't-work on yellow.

But now I think they got rid of that idea, too. I think the rings just work generally now. "

that sounds kind of familiar, there was a new justice society book released back in the mid 90's i think I have the first few issues in parents attic. Still weak sauce.

Posted by: Dr. Shatterhand at May 24, 2012 10:21 PM (Im4sr)

85
It took mea while to figure out which Green Lantern you were talking about... after a while, I'm like, "Oh, you mean the Earth 2 Green Lantern." I'm just about the right age that that's my frame of reference for these guys, before the whole Crisis thing.

And yeah, picking *any* Earth-2 hero for this sort of stunt is pretty hilariously lame. Then again, if they picked a more mainstream hero, I'd be actively even more pissed off, so I guess this is the best possible resolution to their whole "we must get on the right side of hissstory!" smeg.

Posted by: Qwinn at May 24, 2012 10:21 PM (MwUSZ)

86 74
"I thought Marylyn Chambers had superpowers that worked on wood."

Posted by: USA at May 24, 2012 10:15 PM (6Cjut)
nah her twat powers now just works, period.



When they reintroduced her in like the 70s or 80s or whenever, they
retconned her, and just mentioned that her twat didn't work on flamboyant gays,
because of an imperfection or something.



Then like she got the normal twat-that-doesn't-work on gays.



But now I think they got rid of that idea, too. I think the twat just work generally now.



Posted by: CoolCzech at May 24, 2012 10:21 PM (vXwX5)

87 #79: Funny you should mention that... they did actually make the Rawhide Kid gay!

http://preview.tinyurl.com/29hp2ct

Posted by: Genetic Tunder at May 24, 2012 10:21 PM (3yCFy)

88 "I thought Marylyn Chambers had superpowers that worked on wood."
==========

Indeed she did. Indeed she did. Her powers did work on wood, but not Hollywood.

She died in a trailer park a couple of years ago.

Posted by: Kensington at May 24, 2012 10:22 PM (uaEZS)

89 Hey, that green lantern light is like, galactic, and shit. Maybe Univeral! Who's to say that the gay path isn't the ultimate way to achieve, like, the presidency, or Master of Earth status, or something. Fuckers. (eat my commas, beeyotches)

Posted by: Fritz at May 24, 2012 10:23 PM (ZN5qR)

90 Posted by: Sean at May 24, 2012 10:19 PM (HXwLc)


Mormons don't get into that dependency thing, so they are not good candidates for being preferred minorities. Being a true "minority" is not just about being a small group as you well know.

Posted by: Hrothgar at May 24, 2012 10:23 PM (i3+c5)

91 @kensington, it's not a big deal because even if the reboot him to be the coolest most bad ass character of them all, no one will care about Alan Scott.

The 52 thing, from my understanding was a) to sell more comic books than marvel, and b) merge the three alternate dc universes together.

Posted by: Dr. Shatterhand at May 24, 2012 10:23 PM (Im4sr)

92 Wasn't Chambers the one that started out as an Ivory Girl?

Posted by: CoolCzech at May 24, 2012 10:23 PM (vXwX5)

93 Hey! What happened to all the females going bi? That we DO want to hear about.

Posted by: Alan ladd scott from another bizarro world at May 24, 2012 10:25 PM (c9Ivb)

94 #92: I don't know about that, but do you remember the laundry detergent Ivory Snow? The powder with a baby on the box? That baby was Brooke Shields.

Posted by: Genetic Tunder at May 24, 2012 10:25 PM (3yCFy)

95
She died in a trailer park a couple of years ago.


Posted by: Kensington

Well thank you Becky Buzzkill

Posted by: Alan ladd scott from another bizarro world at May 24, 2012 10:25 PM (c9Ivb)

96 But, Dr. Shatterhand, it all depends on how high a profile they intend to give Alan Scott in the new books, and so far I don't think we know.

So it might end up being a big deal.

Posted by: Kensington at May 24, 2012 10:26 PM (uaEZS)

97 87#79: Funny you should mention that... they did actually make the Rawhide Kid gay!

http://preview.tinyurl.com/29hp2ct
Posted by: Genetic Tunder


Well played.

Posted by: Z Ryan at May 24, 2012 10:26 PM (tsC/8)

98 Alan Scott's the gay.

Hal Jordan's the pedophile.

Posted by: Z Ryan at May 24, 2012 10:27 PM (tsC/8)

99 "Well thank you Becky Buzzkill"
=====

What the hell did I do!?!

Posted by: Becky Buzzkill at May 24, 2012 10:27 PM (uaEZS)

100 yeah i catch your drift, but Alan Scott sucks, no one gives a shit, people will buy it for the hype of the gay character and that will be the end of that.

Posted by: Dr. Shatterhand at May 24, 2012 10:28 PM (Im4sr)

101 Anyway, after viewing the Green Lantern movie, who wouldn't have suspected that old what's-his-name wasn't gay?

I'm glad I didn't pay to see that tripe.

Posted by: Fritz at May 24, 2012 10:28 PM (ZN5qR)

102 It's still better than Quicksilver and Scarlet witch in Ultimate Avengers actually explicitly having an incestuous brother-sister relationship, and the reader was supposed to think Captain America the stick in the mud for objecting to it. It wasn't even subtext. Keep it classy Marvel!

Posted by: Sean at May 24, 2012 10:29 PM (HXwLc)

103 >>> I'm like, "Oh, you mean the Earth 2 Green Lantern."

I don't know if he was the Earth 2 Green Lantern, but that sounds right -- operating in that parallel world Justice Society, right? With the aged Earth-2 Superman?

However, the retconned all that and said that world is in the same world as this one. None of this makes sense, but now that stuff (previously retconned to be Earth 2) was re-retconned to be on Earth 1.

And then Earth 2 was retconned out of existence.

And now, they're bring the multiverse back.

Yeah, this is like something that can be explained in just thirty paragraphs on Wikipedia.

Posted by: ace at May 24, 2012 10:29 PM (aw5Tx)

104 I want superman to do me up the ass..

Oh , I'm getting a clue, it's a big one.

Posted by: Barry Soetoro at May 24, 2012 10:30 PM (GBJ6o)

105 #98:
And John Stewart's the wimp.

And Guy Gardner's the worst degenerate of all, as far as the comic book industry is concerned... a Republican.

Posted by: Genetic Tunder at May 24, 2012 10:31 PM (3yCFy)

106 wait they are bringing the multi-verse back? I though the whole point of the DC reboot was to wipe the slate clean so they didnt have any alternate reality shit, and all the characters were operating in the same world?

Posted by: Dr. Shatterhand at May 24, 2012 10:32 PM (Im4sr)

107 No, really:

Hal Jordan's the pedophile.

Posted by: Z Ryan at May 24, 2012 10:32 PM (tsC/8)

108 104

Wouldn't his ejaculation blow the back of Lois's pelvis out like a shotgun blast?

Posted by: Sean at May 24, 2012 10:32 PM (HXwLc)

109 http://tinyurl.com/bqxd88k

Posted by: Z Ryan at May 24, 2012 10:32 PM (tsC/8)

110 BTW, it's "Guardians of the Universe."

Guardians of the Galaxy is Marvel.

Posted by: meekrob at May 24, 2012 10:32 PM (x2CNJ)

111 #107: Yes, he is. He's also a racist.

Posted by: Genetic Tunder at May 24, 2012 10:33 PM (3yCFy)

112 108
104


Wouldn't his ejaculation blow the back of Lois's pelvis out like a shotgun blast?

Posted by: Sean at May 24, 2012 10:32 PM (HXwLc)

Oddly, I always wondered about that.

Posted by: CoolCzech at May 24, 2012 10:33 PM (vXwX5)

113 Wouldn't his ejaculation blow the back of Lois's pelvis out like a shotgun blast?

--------------------------------------

Larry Niven wrote an article years ago called "Man of Steel, Woman of Kleenex." He addressed that, among many other things.

Posted by: meekrob at May 24, 2012 10:34 PM (x2CNJ)

114
>>94#92: I don't know about that, but do you remember the laundry detergent Ivory Snow? The powder with a baby on the box? That baby was Brooke Shields.<<

No, that was someone much more talented: Marilyn Chambers. You're thinking of the Coppertone baby.

Posted by: Jay Guevara at May 24, 2012 10:35 PM (uMVcg)

115 >>>wait they are bringing the multi-verse back? I though the whole point of the DC reboot was to wipe the slate clean so they didnt have any alternate reality shit, and all the characters were operating in the same world?

that was like 1994 or something. now they've decided it's a pretty neat idea, so they're bringing it back.

But I think the other worlds will just be oddball parallel worlds, like a Bizarro World or those worlds where the Justice League is Evil and Lex Luthor is Earth's Mightiest Hero.

Like, that kind of thing.

I don't think they'll have this Justice Leage on Earth 1/Justice Society on Earth 2 thing.

No idea though.

Posted by: ace at May 24, 2012 10:35 PM (aw5Tx)

116 they should have made ch'p gay...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ch'p

the worst green lantern ever... i have his death issue, i cherish it.

Posted by: Dr. Shatterhand at May 24, 2012 10:35 PM (Im4sr)

117 #114: No, the Coppertone Girl was around before Brooke Shields was born.

Posted by: Genetic Tunder at May 24, 2012 10:35 PM (3yCFy)

118 I'm ashamed that I read this blog.

Posted by: Leo Ladenson at May 24, 2012 10:37 PM (mAm+G)

119 118 I'm ashamed that I read this blog.
Posted by: Leo Ladenson at May 24, 2012 10:37 PM (mAm+G)

my wife would probably file for divorce if i started talking to her about ch'p...thank goodness i have a place to vent!

Posted by: Dr. Shatterhand at May 24, 2012 10:39 PM (Im4sr)

120 I'd seen some speculation that it would be Batman. Yeah, right. With a major motion picture release set for July, Warner Bros is OF COURSE going to jeopardize box office to score political points. Because that's just such a winning strategy, right?

Posted by: BeckoningChasm at May 24, 2012 10:39 PM (i0App)

121 41
My favorite comic book hero was Fat Freddie's Cat. He mighta been gay, but he didn't brag about it.


Posted by: Milton J. Shapp at May 24, 2012 10:06 PM (ufLRj)

That was the best comic book. Ever. The strips regarding the roaches in the kitchen would have me rolling.The best line ever came from the cat "I think I'll just shit in his shoe".

Posted by: Acid Spunk at May 24, 2012 10:39 PM (C+m7s)

122 118
I'm ashamed that I read this blog.


Posted by: Leo Ladenson at May 24, 2012 10:37 PM (mAm+G)

Have you tried reading it wrapped in a brown paper bag?

Posted by: CoolCzech at May 24, 2012 10:40 PM (vXwX5)

123 Wouldn't his ejaculation blow the back of Lois's pelvis out like a shotgun blast?

And hence, the tacking toward gayness. Really, nobody cares if Superman blows his lover's mud vein.

Posted by: Fritz at May 24, 2012 10:40 PM (ZN5qR)

124 Superman renounced his US citizenship, right? DC. Keepin' hip.

Posted by: Z Ryan at May 24, 2012 10:40 PM (tsC/8)

125 Some years ago Garth Ennis addressed the matter of Superman's super ejaculate in the book "The Pro."

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Pro_%28comics%29

He didn't call him "Superman" in it, but it was obvious who it was.

It was a pretty terrific book, too.

Posted by: Kensington at May 24, 2012 10:42 PM (uaEZS)

126 I think he got his citizenship back the next issue, as Ace said... shameless hucksters... they got in the news, sold a ton of books, and voila, superman is fighting for truth justice and the american way again.

Posted by: Dr. Shatterhand at May 24, 2012 10:42 PM (Im4sr)

127 Liberals- winning the culture war one fictional character at a time. Good thing fictional characters don't vote. Never mind.

Posted by: Sean at May 24, 2012 10:43 PM (HXwLc)

128 #126: Even if Superman hadn't gotten his citizenship right back, it all occurred shortly before the latest universal reboot, so it all would've been erased, anyway.

Posted by: Genetic Tunder at May 24, 2012 10:44 PM (3yCFy)

129 124
Superman renounced his US citizenship, right? DC. Keepin' hip.


Posted by: Z Ryan at May 24, 2012 10:40 PM (tsC/

I don't recall the comic with Chuck Schumer demanding he be fined with additional taxes for that.

Posted by: CoolCzech at May 24, 2012 10:45 PM (vXwX5)

130 I think the X-men made Colossus a swish in one of the titles. Prior to that a 14 year old Kitty Pryde was always trying to fuck him. Swear to God. We need the comic code authority put back in place.

Posted by: Sean at May 24, 2012 10:48 PM (HXwLc)

131 "130 I think the X-men made Colossus a swish in one of the titles. Prior to that a 14 year old Kitty Pryde was always trying to fuck him. Swear to God. We need the comic code authority put back in place. "

relax... what's the big deal?

Posted by: Roman Polanski at May 24, 2012 10:49 PM (Im4sr)

132 Kitty Pryde? Shirley, you jest...

Posted by: CoolCzech at May 24, 2012 10:50 PM (vXwX5)

133 131
Just that this is a well-established marketing gimmick. Ultimately it doesn't work in even the short term.

Posted by: Sean at May 24, 2012 10:51 PM (HXwLc)

134 I can remember standing in the drugstore turning the comic book rack and getting 2 or 3 favorites with my allowance, even though the price had risen to 12 (gasp) cents. I loved Green Lantern, as well as Turok, Son of Stone, Green Arrow, and The Fantastic Four ( of which I actually bought the first issue and threw away, back in the days before these were collectible).

Gays? Bi-sexuals? Incest? That just shows you that EVERYTHING the left touches is destroyed.

By brightest day, by blackest night
No evil shall escape my sight.
Let all who worship evil's might,
Be ware my power, Green Lantern's light!

Good night, morons. And get off my lawn!

Posted by: Miss Marple at May 24, 2012 10:54 PM (GoIUi)

135 I saw recently that at some point in the last several years Marvel had brought back The New Mutants. I was happy for a moment, because I loved that comic when I was a teenager. All that gentle, wholesome teen angst and romantic tension, along with a little superhero action, with Louise Simonson's gently humorous writing and the beautifully expressive art of Brett Blevins. Then I realized that with the degenerates who've totally taken over the comics industry since then, those characters I liked so much must all be fucking each other left and right now.

Posted by: Genetic Tunder at May 24, 2012 10:55 PM (3yCFy)

136 I never understood this fascination with bringing sex into something like a comic book, you know? It's like when Rowling outed Dumbledore. Seriously, only a European would decide it was necessary to bring sex into a children's book series.

Posted by: Book at May 24, 2012 11:02 PM (lVWq9)

137 136
It seems like we have a society of perennial adult children running around but there is nothing that is actually appropriate for actual children anymore. There is no respect for innocence. Everything is a battle in the culture war now.

Posted by: Sean at May 24, 2012 11:05 PM (HXwLc)

138 Seriously, only a European would decide it was necessary to bring sex into a children's book series.


Posted by: Book at May 24, 2012 11:02 PM (lVWq9)

PBS is run by Europeans? Don't you remember the Gay Muppet?

Posted by: CoolCzech at May 24, 2012 11:07 PM (vXwX5)

139 #138: you're not talking about that old Bert and Earnie joke, are you? Please oh please oh please say you are.

Posted by: Book at May 24, 2012 11:13 PM (lVWq9)

140 Queen Lantern

Posted by: Will Bittley at May 24, 2012 11:16 PM (afbbI)

141 #139: I vaguely remember reading something about a gay Muppet several years ago. It wasn't Bert or Ernie; it was a new character who flopped and disappeared down the memory hole.

Posted by: Genetic Tunder at May 24, 2012 11:18 PM (3yCFy)

142 I'm out for the time being; I'll try to check back later tonight. If I don't make it back, good night, everyone!

Posted by: Genetic Tunder at May 24, 2012 11:20 PM (3yCFy)

143 As a huge fan of "Batman, the animated series" and "The Justice League," the green lantern will always be John Stewart. Considering the way he carried on with Hawk Girl and that other chick who turned into a panther or whatever, we know he likes the ladies.

Also, the funny thing about stereotypes is that they exist for a reason. Just the description of Kyle Rayner sets off my gaydar.

Posted by: cranky-d at May 24, 2012 11:22 PM (JWd0O)

144
Meh, if Garth Ennis did anything regarding Superman's difficulties... engaging with Lois Lane, it was definitely a ripoff of the timeless Larry Niven classic, "Man of Steel, Woman of Kleenex" in which he addressed this very very important issue.

And incidentally, how appropriate he comes up in this thread, considering Niven also wrote the Green Lantern series for years. All the stuff about Oa and the Guardians and the Corps, etc.? That was all Niven, far as I know.

Posted by: Qwinn at May 24, 2012 11:25 PM (MwUSZ)

145 Doesn't their rebooting of Batwoman and making her a lesbian have more impact than making this nobody gay?

Posted by: buzzion at May 24, 2012 11:27 PM (GULKT)

146 Ah, DC Comics! I can actually relate to those, as opposed to Marvel, which stable I hated when I was a kid in the Sixties.

"The Day Superman Died" sounds like an "Imaginary" story, as when they showed what would happen if Supe and Lois got married, or if Superman and Batman were brothers.

One day, I remember looking at one of these at the drug store and suddenly realizing that they were ALL imaginary stories.

I stopped reading comics altogether soon thereafter.

Posted by: Otis Criblecoblis at May 24, 2012 11:32 PM (IlZPo)

147 I really liked Alan Scott, he was a much better green lantern. What a lame move.

Posted by: Christopher Taylor at May 24, 2012 11:38 PM (r4wIV)

148 Huh, I just found "Man of Steel, Women of Kleenex" in a quick google search. It is on the web, apparently reprinted with permission, and it's pretty amusing, I recommend it. It's not very long at all, written in 1969 I believe. Enjoy.

Posted by: Qwinn at May 24, 2012 11:39 PM (MwUSZ)

149
Oh, and Ace, yeah, I think we're thinking of the same GL. He was in the JSA along with the older Superman. I think he was red and yellow, though? Definitely blonde, and a "mask" that amounted to small rings around the eyes, if I remember correctly. I actually didn't know that he was considered "magic" vs. "tech", but now that I think about it, yes, in Crisis of Infinite Earths he was indeed grouped with the magic using heroes like Phantom Stranger and Specter.

You do seem to have a pretty good grasp of what went on with the retconning. The run where all the alternate universes were merged into one was the aforementioned Crisis of Infinite Earths, which you can get in a single trade paperback volume, which I did. Since it's something like 30 years old, Idon't know that anything I cansay can really be called aspoiler, butSPOILER tag here, stopreading this sentence now ifsuch things bother you..... Supergirl and the Barry Allen Flash were also killed in it, though at least the latter was brought back eventually.

Are they bringing Earth 2 back? Not as far as I know, if the current speculation on that was based on something I said, I hereby retract. Far as I know, they did merge them all into one universe (with a lot of the Earth 2 heroes that got merged in having no prior history in our world, they basically just appeared out of nowhere as far as the world at large was concerned) and that hasn't been changed since, it's been a long time since I kept up though.

Posted by: Qwinn at May 24, 2012 11:47 PM (MwUSZ)

150 The only questions I have, if it is indeed Alan Scott who is gay:

What the hell do they do with the reboots of Jade and Obsidian, his kids?

Posted by: Jason B at May 24, 2012 11:48 PM (m2kcG)

151 So, what does this mean? In the reboot the new Alan Scott has no children? (Jade,Obsidian)?

Posted by: Kevin A Ward at May 24, 2012 11:54 PM (GpF6x)

152 "This is on the level of revealing that Mr. Mxypltzyk is bi."

Dude, what happens in the fifth dimension *stays* in the fifth dimension... especially after a few beers.

Posted by: Jordan at May 25, 2012 12:02 AM (RSG1I)

153 "Wouldn't his ejaculation blow the back of Lois's pelvis out like a shotgun blast?"

What about her womb? You think it's strong enough to carry his child? He's an alien, for chrisssake! His Kryptonian biological makeup is enhanced by earth's yellow sun. If Lois gets a tan the kid could kick right through her stomach! Only someone like Wonder Woman has a strong enough uterus to carry his kid. The only way he can bang regular chicks is with a kryptonite condom, but that would kill him.

Posted by: Jordan at May 25, 2012 12:11 AM (RSG1I)

154 #149: Crisis On Infinite Earths is the reason John Stewart will always be the wimpy Green Lantern to me. And why Guy Gardner is the greatest of them all.

The Guardians see the end of the whole multiverse coming, and their response is, "Oh, this is our fault. Our chickens are coming home to roost. We have to sit quietly and accept our punishment. Green Lantern Corps, your job is to use your powers to make people comfortable as they die for our mistake."

At this point, some of the Guardians rebelled. They said, "Yes, this is our fault, and we can't sit by and let everyone else suffer for our mistake. We have to stop this!" These Guardians took a single Green Lantern ring and formed a splinter group. Their chosen GL was Guy Gardner, and he quickly set about the work of trying to stop the destruction of everything in the cosmos.

John Stewart stuck with the main group of Guardians, and actually tried to stop Guy. Guy kicked John's ass and continued on his way to saving the multiverse.

John Stewart was willing to roll over and die with everyone else because the Guardians decreed it. Guy Gardner was willing to do whatever he could to stop the destruction of everything.

Posted by: Genetic Tunder at May 25, 2012 12:54 AM (3yCFy)

155 I'd have a lot more respect for Stewart if he'd run across Guy and said, "Well, I can't join you because I have my orders. But if anyone asks, I never saw you." But no, he actually put his ass on the line to try to fulfill the orders of the Guardians he followed, who'd told him his job was to die like a bitch and see to it that everyone else did the same.

Posted by: Genetic Tunder at May 25, 2012 01:01 AM (3yCFy)

156 I think they did make a major character gay whether they meant to or not. All the general public is going to hear is Green Lantern is gay. Most people are not going to understand multiple Green Lanterns, most people probably don't know there was more than one Robin, much less that there are multiple supermans, it's all for the fans. Think of the 90's Batman movies and the influence of the 60's tv show on those and imagine the Green Lantern movie Hollywood is going to make in a few years.

Posted by: Cap'n Crunch at May 25, 2012 07:00 AM (a44F+)

157 You remember that giant green fist from the first movie?

Posted by: Cap'n crunch at May 25, 2012 07:09 AM (5F1NW)

158 "NO! You take that ring off! You ain't doin' that agin! I'll call the police! Help! ..."

Posted by: Alan Scott's runp-ranger valet at May 25, 2012 07:34 AM (1agxt)

159 So now all we have to do is find out if Alan Scott ever romanced anyone then call BS on DC.

Posted by: R. Waher at May 25, 2012 08:11 AM (4FP+P)

160 I figured it would be Spiderman, when he's not a super hero he's just a teen named Peter Parker.

Posted by: Rip VanBullwinkle at May 25, 2012 08:28 AM (lV1tZ)

161 Whew! Dodged a bullet there. Back in the clos.... I mean Batcave.

Posted by: Batman at May 25, 2012 08:58 AM (sOtz/)

162 D.C. Comics gratuitous gay. Just fuckin' wonderful. The media and now, my favorite childhood comics, have been reduced to sensationalistic homosexual tabloids. jeezustapdancingchrist.

Posted by: SFC MAC at May 25, 2012 09:02 AM (Og3n6)

163 This is DC taking a character who doesn't have his own book (and hasn't,
for sixty years) and making a splash with him, because, really, who
cares about Alan Scott?

*
*
Green Lantern had his own book all the way into the Sixties, didn't he? That was the Hal Jordan character I remember.

Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius at May 25, 2012 09:30 AM (jmfVt)

164 Revealing that Alan Scott is gay: Lame.

Revealing that Guy Gardner is gay: AWESOME.

They picked the wrong Green Lantern.

Posted by: SoupOrMan at May 25, 2012 09:31 AM (J991N)

Posted by: bskb at May 25, 2012 09:58 AM (HEatA)

166 If you want an explanation about the color scheme of the Green Lantern you need to know why the Green Lantern now is so different from the original. The modern green lantern is based on the idea that their powers are based on green energy, which is fueled by willpower (unlike the gay ones which are fueled by Will and Grace reruns.)

The old green lantern? Well, Lanterns are used in railroads to indicate whether to stop or go. You could buy railroad lanterns just like the hero on ebay http://www.ebay.com/sch/i.html?_nkw=railroad+lantern+green+globe . So the color scheme and design had no reason to do anything interesting, unless they also wanted to make him look like a train conductor or something.

Also, the Green Lantern is a popular name for bars located near train stations for the reasons stated above. One of the most notable Green Lanterns? A gay bar, in Washington DC.

Green Lanterns, gay bar, DC. We are through the looking glass here people.

Posted by: bskb at May 25, 2012 10:06 AM (HEatA)

167
I can recite the Green Lantern oath and tell you what Sector of the Galaxy Earth is located in.

I can't. Should I feel shame?

Or relief?

In blackest day or brightest night
Watermelon, cantaloupe, yadda yadda
Erm... superstitious and cowardly lot
With liberty and justice for all!

Posted by: I R A Darth Aggie © at May 25, 2012 10:15 AM (1hM1d)

168 It won't be Alan Scott, unless the editors are willing to ignore everything that's gone before. He's been married, and the father of 2 children. He's never shown the slightest hint of being gay in over 70 years.

What "major" character can DC choose? Someone who doesn't generate a lot of marketing revenue -- so you can cross off Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman (and with the movie & cartoon, Hal Jordan's Green Lantern). The Flash? All 3 of them have been happily married, and generate a fair amount of revenue that DC won't easily risk losing. Hawkman & Hawkgirl are married to each other, Aquaman was married with a son, Green Arrow has a long history of philandering with women, etc. So it has to be a second-stringer, without a lot of history. DC has already done this "ground breaking" with The Question - killing off the original (male) character and having him replaced by a female lesbian. I'm yawning.

Posted by: Tom at May 25, 2012 11:35 AM (T0dFH)

169
The Green Lantern is sooooo pedestrian. Change his name to:

THE GREEN TRACK-LIGHTING.

Cheers,
The Worm

Posted by: The Worm at May 25, 2012 11:35 AM (nqH+k)

170 Why did it have to be a guy who was gay.

Why not a Wonder Woman/Catwoman scene?

Catwoman gets tied up with the rope of truth. Take it from there. Meow.

Even better, Elektra and Sue Storm from Fantastic 4 come in to save the day.

They all . . . well. . . uhhhh. . . let's just say there are no villains in the end.

Posted by: Adirondack Patriot at May 25, 2012 11:51 AM (iAUf+)

171 I think the whole Guardians of the Galaxy reboot of Green Lantern borrowed heavily from Doc Smith's Lensmen series (if you haven't read 'em, do yourself the great favor).

Posted by: Ken at May 25, 2012 12:19 PM (fFh95)

172 His son, Obsidian, was gay before they rebooted.

Is DC trying to say the ghey is genetic?

Posted by: Steve at May 25, 2012 12:55 PM (eJo44)

173 Captain America is no longer my favorite superhero

now Green Lantern is the metaphor for Obama

Posted by: palin steele at May 25, 2012 02:06 PM (cbNaC)

174
The Kyle Radner Green Lantern wouldn't work to be gay. He did (or still does) have a romantic relationship with the Original Wonder Girl / Trioa (Donna Troy).
The white trash Green Lantern, Guy Gardner, would have been funny to make gay.
I knew they'd make some generic GL gay--And they hadto play it safe by doing to an alternate world character. Funny, they went with the GL from the 1940's and "rebooted" him this way. Even funnier that his weakness is wood. And the queens love their bling bling, too!
I can imagine what he'll use that ring to create now! I bet he'll have a huge closet filled with different costumes. Be funny to see a story where he can't decide what to wear and he takes so long, the bad guys get away!
I wonder what female super hero they'll make to be his BFF?
A comic with this guy in it will be a book I'll skip.....

Posted by: teddy at May 26, 2012 01:06 AM (44EsN)

175
Promo art for Alan Scott a la Earth2 has him in a modern era style costume. So I doubt he'd have his weakness for wood.Besides, didnt they retcon this shit years ago by having the guardians 'lose' a ring and have Alan part of the Corp honour guard or something?
...Otherwise I don't really give a damn.

Posted by: Scrap at May 26, 2012 10:39 AM (vxg5P)

176
As for gay, idk, Sinestro's been eying Hal up a lot ;] lol I kid, he has a daughter with a deceased Arin Sur~

Posted by: Scrap at May 26, 2012 10:43 AM (vxg5P)

177 http://www.stpipefitting.com
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Posted by: pipe fittings at May 27, 2012 10:04 AM (dIE6P)






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