Levi Johnson Gay Porn Doomsday Clock's Hands Advanced to Six to Midnight

"Penniless," claims the Daily Mail, and living with his mom after blowing his million dollars on guns, boats, and cars.

Which is a decent enough thing to blow a million dollars on, if and only if you're reasonably sure there's a second million coming.

You know what this means?

Time for another Super-Secret Revelation About the Palins. Gotta be something even huger this time.

That, or, of course, Gay Porn.

I have a different idea, though. I think Johnson knows the Liberal Money is tapped out, at least for now, and he'll Find Jesus, write a book about Finding Jesus, claim he's changed and seen the error of his ways and all apologies to the Palin family and so on, and attempt to try to get cash from conservative audiences.

I don't think it will work. But I think he will try it. Because I don't think he wants to do gay porn. He seems to be a fan of the vaiszh.

So while I am advancing the Levi Johnson Gay Porn Doomsday Clock, I am only advancing it two minutes, to six to midnight.

Please make a note for your records.

Posted by: Ace at 12:21 PM



Comments

1 First!

Posted by: Chi-Town Jerry at May 24, 2012 12:22 PM (f9c2L)

2 Poor Levi, if I had a son he would be a gay dogeater too.

Posted by: Barky O'McFuckstick at May 24, 2012 12:24 PM (7aQos)

3 second to first?

Posted by: Captain FAPtastical at May 24, 2012 12:24 PM (/pd0C)

4 THIRD BASE!

Posted by: Captain FAPtastical at May 24, 2012 12:24 PM (/pd0C)

5 "I have a different idea, though. I think Johnson knows the Liberal Money is tapped out, at least for now, and he'll Find Jesus, write a book about Finding Jesus, claim he's changed and seen the error of his ways and all apologies to the Palin family and so on, and attempt to try to get cash from conservative audiences."

Levi Johnston is David Brock?

Posted by: Nora's Ambien Has Worn Off at May 24, 2012 12:24 PM (VxqUc)

6 Wasn't he writing a book?

Posted by: Chi-Town Jerry at May 24, 2012 12:24 PM (f9c2L)

7 Hookers and blow are the only appropriate things to blow your fortune on.

Posted by: toby928© at May 24, 2012 12:24 PM (NG097)

8 What has to really bite is this cocksucker gets visitation rights.

Posted by: Dave in Fla at May 24, 2012 12:25 PM (LoNRD)

9 You can cry wolf only so many times.

Posted by: EC at May 24, 2012 12:25 PM (GQ8sn)

10 Porn name generator for Levi Johnson?

Levi Johnson.

Posted by: eleven at May 24, 2012 12:26 PM (KXm42)

11
So you're telling me that Levi Johnston is as good a steward with money as Curt Schilling?

What the hell happened, Curt??

Posted by: Soothsayer at May 24, 2012 12:26 PM (jUytm)

12 Did he actually get a million dollars? If he did he is incredibly stupid. If he had bought a good solid utility stock he could be pulling in 5% dividends and about $60K a year tax free until the end of the year.


Instead he is broke.

Posted by: Vic at May 24, 2012 12:26 PM (YdQQY)

13 He spent a million bucks on guns and four-wheelers but he hasn't paid child support in two years.... classy.

Posted by: Jordan at May 24, 2012 12:26 PM (RSG1I)

14 Penniless? Heh. I hope he gets a real bear in his first shoot.

Posted by: MikeTheMoose Troll Hunter! at May 24, 2012 12:27 PM (0q2P7)

15 Because I don't think he wants to do gay porn. He seems to be a fan of the vaiszh.

NTTAWWT

Posted by: Sean Bannion at May 24, 2012 12:27 PM (sbV1u)

16 Levi Johnson.

Hey, isn't that someone's porn name from the last thread?!

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at May 24, 2012 12:27 PM (MCDCp)

17 "During an interview on Inside Edition, the couple revealed they plan on naming their child Breeze Beretta Johnson."

!!!

Posted by: laceyunderalls at May 24, 2012 12:27 PM (gXvnt)

18 Sarah Palin's beloved pet dog ran away. She was so enraged, when she finally found it, she strapped it onto the roof rack of her gas guzzling, Gaia killing, bigass SUV. Once she got home, she held it down and cut off it's tail with a pair of rusty scissors. Then she, Todd and the rest of the family gathered around and ate it while it was still alive, it's warm blood dripping from their mouths. Oh and she did this while wearing high heel stripper stillettos and a red dress that was paid for by McCain campaign donations.

Posted by: runningrn at May 24, 2012 12:27 PM (WGmy2)

19 ROTFL

Posted by: Max Power at May 24, 2012 12:28 PM (+wxCD)

20 I've fallen and I can't get up.

Posted by: levi's johnson at May 24, 2012 12:28 PM (NG097)

21 "If he had bought a good solid utility stock he could be pulling in 5% dividends and about $60K a year tax free until the end of the year."

Or just bought the DJIA or the S&P. He'd have two million now.

Posted by: Jordan at May 24, 2012 12:28 PM (RSG1I)

22 Didn't he knock up another woman and they said they were going to name the baby Beretta? So two baby mamas and he is living with his mama? Loser.

Posted by: thunderb at May 24, 2012 12:28 PM (Dnbau)

23 really good looking girl and famous family, and he BLEW IT. . His picture will appear in future dictionaries next to the word schmuck. Maybe he'll get lucky and be invited to appear on Dancing with the Schmucks.

Posted by: mallfly at May 24, 2012 12:28 PM (bJm7W)

24 Barak Obama is a stuttering clusterfuck of a miserable failure.

Posted by: Max Power at May 24, 2012 12:28 PM (+wxCD)

25 is this confirmed by the Bulletin of Assless Chapped Scientists?

Posted by: X at May 24, 2012 12:28 PM (KHo8t)

26 When Todd Palin goes on his vengeance rampage, I hope I get called for jury duty.

Posted by: ChampionCapua at May 24, 2012 12:28 PM (KZi9D)

27 So you're telling me that Levi Johnston is as good a steward with money as Curt Schilling?

Game companies are notoriously unpredictable. I don't know of any other game company that got money from the state in the amount that 38 did. If they wanted to be profitable, they should have stuck "Call of Duty Modern Battlefield" somewhere in the title.


EA sux dicks.

Posted by: EC at May 24, 2012 12:28 PM (GQ8sn)

28 Here's a suggestion.

How about he try for a feature role in the next Jackass movie?

He can stick his wet "Johnson" to steel pole. In the middle of Alaska's winter.

Posted by: Exile at May 24, 2012 12:29 PM (O0lVq)

29
"During an interview on Inside Edition, the couple revealed they plan on naming their child Breeze Beretta Johnson."Posted by: laceyunderalls


Classy!

He was also thinking about Barrett Mossberg Johnson but he wanted to stick with smaller calibers.

It runs in the family.

Posted by: Sean Bannion at May 24, 2012 12:29 PM (sbV1u)

30 Wow, a Levi Johnston thread. 65 comments, here we come!!!!!!!

Posted by: The Mega Independent at May 24, 2012 12:29 PM (M65mm)

31 Levi Johnson is as sorry a turd as was ever extruded through a rat's ass. That Palin girl sure knows how to pick 'em. Apparrently so does her Mom. Orrin Hatch fer Chrissake. Duh.

Posted by: maddogg at May 24, 2012 12:29 PM (OlN4e)

32
Posted by: Jordan

That's right. Levi is a typical cocksucking Democrat leech.

Posted by: Soothsayer at May 24, 2012 12:29 PM (jUytm)

33 anyway, don't you think he's too dumb to appear in gay porn? Or as a fluffer?

Posted by: mallfly at May 24, 2012 12:29 PM (bJm7W)

34 Levi Johnson stars in the first gay Spaghetti Western:

THE BALLS OF MONTEZUMA.

Posted by: Tree Honkey at May 24, 2012 12:29 PM (u+JSO)

35 So where are all his celebutard buddies now? You know, the ones that were touting him not that long ago. Kathy Griffen, Joe McGinnis, please pick up the courtesy phone. Levi needs yourhelp. Hopefully, when Levi sends out the Rat Signal, they will respond asap!

Posted by: runningrn at May 24, 2012 12:29 PM (WGmy2)

36 Who the hell would pay to see LJ screwing someone? Gay men?

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at May 24, 2012 12:30 PM (piMMO)

37 nothing schmoething. I have heard the real news is not about live but obama. I have heresay that says intrade is starting a line on whether obama will be on idol replacing the black judge or doing gay porn in october.

Posted by: yankeefifth at May 24, 2012 12:30 PM (Z9EHQ)

38 Thread half life 22 minutes.

Posted by: The Prognosticator at May 24, 2012 12:30 PM (NG097)

39 Oh hell! You said "gay porn"!

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at May 24, 2012 12:30 PM (piMMO)

40 Oh and she did this while wearing high heel stripper stillettos and a red dress that was paid for by McCain campaign donations.

I'm sure there was more to your comment for this, but for the life of me I can't recall what it was...

Posted by: Brother Cavil, New Caprica City DMV at May 24, 2012 12:30 PM (GBXon)

41 Maybe he thought the gun maker would pay him for naming the baby. He is that stupid. Probably tried to name the baby "facebook".

Posted by: thunderb at May 24, 2012 12:31 PM (Dnbau)

42 I wonder if he got tired of fucking Kathy Griffin. Or maybe she just knocked his dick out of her mouth.

Posted by: EC at May 24, 2012 12:31 PM (GQ8sn)

43 "Penniless"

Ill-gotten gain dwindles away fast--The Bible

Posted by: Shooter McGavin at May 24, 2012 12:31 PM (8/Edb)

44 "I spent a lot of my money on booze, birds, and fast cars -- the rest I just squandered."

Charles Best

Posted by: GnuBreed at May 24, 2012 12:31 PM (ccXZP)

45 Who the hell would pay to see LJ screwing someone?

^^^

Perez Hilton. He was all about his Playgirl gig.

He doesn't have a v. good body. That's what I heard anyway.

Posted by: laceyunderalls at May 24, 2012 12:31 PM (gXvnt)

46
But EC I'm just amazed at how fast 38 Studios blew through all that money.

It was pointed out that payroll was the cash siphon.



Posted by: Soothsayer at May 24, 2012 12:32 PM (jUytm)

47 Barack Obama is a stuttering clusterf*ck of a miserable tyrant.

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) Channelling Breitbart at May 24, 2012 12:32 PM (8y9MW)

48 Quick everybody do a buch of Levi Johnson gay porn searches.


Wait....maybe not.

Posted by: eleven at May 24, 2012 12:32 PM (KXm42)

49 He could go get a job.

Ha! As if! I crack myself up sometimes.

Posted by: Mikey NTH - now with more riboflavin! at May 24, 2012 12:32 PM (hLRSq)

50 Levi could also do a reverse David Brock and say he was manipulated by the Left into doing what he's done. I'm not sure if he'd still be required to become a Bottom but it's an option.

Posted by: runninrebel at May 24, 2012 12:32 PM (N/1Dm)

51 If Levi Johnson were doing gay porn, I'd think the Doomsday Clock should read "8:54 PM" - or "6 ta 9"

Posted by: Jazz at May 24, 2012 12:32 PM (NzrVU)

52 23 really good looking girl and famous family, and he BLEW IT. . His picture will appear in future dictionaries next to the word schmuck. Maybe he'll get lucky and be invited to appear on Dancing with the Schmucks.
Posted by: mallfly at May 24, 2012 12:28 PM (bJm7W)

you should be glad he did because if he had married into the family and was in the palin compound you know he would spend his evenings doing the daughter and thinking of the mom.

Posted by: yankeefifth at May 24, 2012 12:33 PM (Z9EHQ)

53 I wonder if he got tired of fucking Kathy Griffin.

Come on, man. It's lunch time.

Posted by: The Mega Independent at May 24, 2012 12:33 PM (M65mm)

54 Does Bawney Fwank need an assistant?

Posted by: thunderb at May 24, 2012 12:33 PM (Dnbau)

55 Well, I can't say I'm surprised that Levi has fallen on hard times. Obviously, the evilDarth Cheney has traveled to the Last Frontier.

Posted by: runningrn at May 24, 2012 12:34 PM (WGmy2)

56 If the price was right, I could see Levi agreeing to get blown in a "movie".

Posted by: Dr Spank at May 24, 2012 12:34 PM (I/Xad)

57 I dunno. He's a natural for gay porn--being as how he is already a worthless cocksucker.

Posted by: Comanche Voter at May 24, 2012 12:34 PM (6USwK)

58 Has Levi had his own survivalist reality show yet?

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at May 24, 2012 12:34 PM (piMMO)

59 It was pointed out that payroll was the cash siphon.

They had in the neighbourhood of over 130 employees working on one game. That's a lotta paychecks to print. Half of those I bet were contractors hired in to build a portion of the game, and they ended up fucking shit up, firing them, and then hiring in a new round of contractors to clean up the previous mess, firing them, etc.

Posted by: EC at May 24, 2012 12:34 PM (GQ8sn)

60 If the price was right, I could see Levi agreeing to get blown in a "movie".


*****

It's CINEMA, baby!

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at May 24, 2012 12:34 PM (piMMO)

61 It is hard to get a job when everyone knows you are stupid and cannot be trusted.

Posted by: thunderb at May 24, 2012 12:34 PM (Dnbau)

62 Oh, doomsday clock.
I didn't think a cock had hands, but what do I know.

Posted by: Clutch Cargo at May 24, 2012 12:34 PM (Qxdfp)

63
Levi's best bet: Gain 300 lbs and then go on The Biggest Loser.

Posted by: Soothsayer at May 24, 2012 12:35 PM (jUytm)

64 Levi Johnson storms Broadway in gay musical,

7 LOADS FOR 7 BROTHERS

Posted by: Sam I Am at May 24, 2012 12:35 PM (PSLAl)

65 Some people aren't capable of being wealthy no matter how hard the universe tries to drop the coin in their lap.

Levi strikes me as that type.

Posted by: runninrebel at May 24, 2012 12:35 PM (N/1Dm)

66 caterpillar filter, fleetguard filter, isuzu filter, komatsu filter,perkins filter , volvo filter, hitachi filter,john deere filter, deutz filter,parker filter , donaldson filter,jcb filter

Posted by: komastu filter at May 24, 2012 12:35 PM (Xl3Rq)

67 37 nothing schmoething. I have heard the real news is not about live but obama. I have heresay that says intrade is starting a line on whether obama will be on idol replacing the black judge or doing gay porn in october.
Posted by: yankeefifth at May 24, 2012 12:30 PM (Z9EHQ)

***********


You said October?

I followed that Drudge link -

Pentagon Gave Hollywood Special Access to Bin Laden Raid--

Foun this--


New York Times columnist Maureen Dowd wrote that the information leak was designed to help the Obama 2012 presidential reelection campaign: “The White House is also counting on the Kathryn Bigelow and Mark Boal big-screen version of the killing of Bin Laden to counter Obama’s growing reputation as ineffectual. The Sony film by the Oscar-winning pair who made ‘The Hurt Locker’ will no doubt reflect the president’s cool, gutsy decision against shaky odds. Just as Obamaland was hoping, the movie is scheduled to open on Oct. 12, 2012 — perfectly timed to give a home-stretch boost to a campaign that has grown tougher.

Posted by: tasker at May 24, 2012 12:35 PM (r2PLg)

68
If he can persuade someone to put him in a reality show with Jason Alexander, the one-night husband of Brittany Spears, he might be able to delay the date with Jesus.

If not, then don't forget the highly publicized stint in rehab, too.

Posted by: the new, improved arhooley -- now with 10% more cynicism! at May 24, 2012 12:35 PM (5UO9Q)

69 Come on, man. It's lunch time.

You know there's a real dumpster fire going on under that 1/4 inch of make-up.

Posted by: eleven at May 24, 2012 12:35 PM (KXm42)

70 As CNN's rating approach zero, I predict Anderson Cooper will be doing Levi Johnson.

Posted by: BillyBob at May 24, 2012 12:35 PM (d3FpJ)

71 Levi is penis-less? Just as I thought.

Posted by: Wyatt Earp at May 24, 2012 12:35 PM (Agn5J)

72 However, the JEF got a job. Hmmm

Posted by: thunderb at May 24, 2012 12:36 PM (Dnbau)

73
That, or, of course, Gay Porn.

I thought that's what his spread in Playgirl was.

Posted by: runningrn at May 24, 2012 12:36 PM (WGmy2)

74 His pron name is probably Daisy Fairbanks.

Posted by: Vashta Nerada at May 24, 2012 12:36 PM (kb9F1)

75 61 It is hard to get a job when everyone knows you are stupid and cannot be trusted.
Posted by: thunderb at May 24, 2012 12:34 PM (Dnbau)

***************


Biden. Al Franken.

Posted by: tasker at May 24, 2012 12:36 PM (r2PLg)

76 39 Oh hell! You said "gay porn"! Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse***Yes, but at least he didn't say "Midget Porn"

Posted by: David of PA at May 24, 2012 12:36 PM (tPdIW)

77 I know high school girls can sometimes make terrible mistakes and open their legs for some asshole athlete, but my question is how come I never ran into one in High School?

Posted by: Nevergiveup at May 24, 2012 12:36 PM (05RcU)

78 If the SyFy channel did gay porn, he'd be a natch.
Raped by some giant tentacled electric cockroach.
Yeah, you know what? I'd watch that one.

Posted by: Clutch Cargo at May 24, 2012 12:37 PM (Qxdfp)

79 Just remember what he has already done.

http://bit.ly/JZIS6Q

He's 3/4 of the way to the total debasement necessary already.

Posted by: MikeTheMoose Troll Hunter! at May 24, 2012 12:37 PM (0q2P7)

80 Some people aren't capable of being wealthy no matter how hard the universe tries to drop the coin in their lap.

Do I know you?

Posted by: toby928© at May 24, 2012 12:37 PM (NG097)

81
Levi Johnson's best hope is to get a reality tv show:

"Big Bother"

Posted by: runningrn at May 24, 2012 12:37 PM (WGmy2)

82 idiot filter, johnson filter, scumbag filter, famous for ****ing someone filter

Posted by: johnson filter at May 24, 2012 12:38 PM (M65mm)

83
Hookers and blow are the only appropriate things to blow your fortune on.

Posted by: toby928©
---------------------

Actually, I'm surprised he was smart enough to blow the dough on material things that he can resell at half their value.

Posted by: the new, improved arhooley -- now with 10% more cynicism! at May 24, 2012 12:38 PM (5UO9Q)

84
Levi will be "celebrity" boxing Jose Canseco and Verne Troyer, if he's lucky.

Posted by: Soothsayer at May 24, 2012 12:38 PM (jUytm)

85 Levi is penis-less? Just as I thought.

They'll use a stunt penis.

Posted by: toby928© at May 24, 2012 12:38 PM (NG097)

86 I say send him out with nothing but a knife, a gun, and a camcorder and see if he can make it a week in the wilderness on his own.

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at May 24, 2012 12:39 PM (piMMO)

87 RESISTANCE IS FUTILE.
YOU WILL BE ASS-IMMOLATED.

Posted by: the first gay porn Levi Johnson will appear in at May 24, 2012 12:39 PM (F26eZ)

88 You said October?

Posted by: tasker at May 24, 2012 12:35 PM (r2PLg)

I did. I did not think about his cameo in the movie. It would be worth millions to see the surprised look on obamas face when the seals broke in on him and bin laden and he spun around to see shat was going on.

I am starting my own line on whether obama will be running in october. I am almost willing to start taking action on whether he folds and lets hillary have a chance along the lines of the johnson humphrey hand off.


Posted by: yankeefifth at May 24, 2012 12:40 PM (Z9EHQ)

89 The fact that this kid continues to walk, breathe, and apparently retain testicles is a testament to Todd Palin's restraint. But I imagine Todd's taking a little bit of pleasure in watching Levi make himself sorry, in a slower and more thorough way than any mere ass-kicking could.

Posted by: jenny tries too hard at May 24, 2012 12:40 PM (snRY5)

90 alot of guys when he get a millon dollar buying sweet cars get a bunch

neckalaces and watches than he gets a bunch skanks pregant has to

pay ever month for child sport plus also if he bowls out his acl now

total fucked about all his mony is gone ever body think he is a idiot

but he might have some good ideas about poltics bisuness ect but

most of times gets opressed becase of racial and jellous about hey

i sucked at baseball and was a total puss so im am going to not giving

this guy a chances for oportunitys even thogh he got some great ideas

pretty sad for alot of guys that get scerewed over by total idiots

Posted by: Jose Canseco's Gristle Encased Head at May 24, 2012 12:40 PM (+lsX1)

91 Breeze. Because future pole dancers shouldn't harbor false hopes of a normal life or respectable job.

Posted by: Little Miss Spellcheck at May 24, 2012 12:40 PM (a5ljo)

92 They'll use a stunt penis.

******

Al Franken.

Posted by: tasker at May 24, 2012 12:40 PM (r2PLg)

93 but wasn't Kathy Griffith at least hot in that movie where she chopped James Caan's foot off?

Posted by: mallfly at May 24, 2012 12:40 PM (bJm7W)

94 If he's smart he'll just cut out the middleman and do gay porn for guns, boats and cars.

Posted by: Dang at May 24, 2012 12:41 PM (Ky1+e)

95 64 Levi Johnson storms Broadway in gay musical,

7 LOADS FOR 7 BROTHERS
Posted by: Sam I Am at May 24, 2012 12:35 PM (PSLAl)


7 CHOADS for 7 OTHERS

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at May 24, 2012 12:41 PM (MCDCp)

96 So shithead's mommy drew a 5 year stretch for dealing drugs. Figures. If I was Gov. of Alaska, I'd sure want my daughter running around porking that piece of white trash. Yessiree. Judgement,baby.

Posted by: maddogg at May 24, 2012 12:41 PM (OlN4e)

97
Stocks are down today but not because of Obama, California, the jobs data, or HP.

Because of "EU worries."

Posted by: CNBC at May 24, 2012 12:41 PM (jUytm)

98 But seriously his next revelation has to be that Sarah Palin attempted to seduce him.

He has to play that card. It has to be big and unprovable.

Posted by: ace at May 24, 2012 12:42 PM (aw5Tx)

99 Hmmmm. The name of the film:

Breaking-In Levi's ****

****-Washed Levi

Unzipping Levi

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at May 24, 2012 12:42 PM (piMMO)

100 Oh, Levi could get a reality show right now, but only because the producers can see he's desperate. They'd offer him 5 figures, maybe 100k tops. And that would only be to keep him on site and compliant.

And he'd go through that before the shoot was over.

Posted by: runninrebel at May 24, 2012 12:42 PM (N/1Dm)

101 But seriously his next revelation has to be that Sarah Palin attempted to seduce him.

He has to play that card. It has to be big and unprovable.


*****

The storyline for his movie.

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at May 24, 2012 12:42 PM (piMMO)

102 Just in case you haven't had enough Wisconsin info, there's yet another new thread on it!

Posted by: Tami at May 24, 2012 12:42 PM (X6akg)

103 Breeze. Because future pole dancers shouldn't harbor false hopes of a normal life or respectable job.
Posted by: Little Miss Spellcheck at May 24, 2012 12:40 PM (a5ljo)

------------------------

Really, rule number one of baby-naming has to do with the rhymes. This poor baby already rhymes with "sleaze" and will probably be called "Breezy" which happily rhymes with "sleazy" "easy" "cheesy".

Maybe Levi can get a vasectomy live on the internet? I might donate to that cause.

Posted by: jenny tries too hard at May 24, 2012 12:43 PM (snRY5)

104 I did. I did not think about his cameo in the movie. It would be worth millions to see the surprised look on obamas face when the seals broke in on him and bin laden and he spun around to see shat was going on.

I am starting my own line on whether obama will be running in october. I am almost willing to start taking action on whether he folds and lets hillary have a chance along the lines of the johnson humphrey hand off.


Posted by: yankeefifth at May 24, 2012 12:40 PM (Z9EHQ)


********

Well...the first question is--who is pretty enough to play Obama--


Denzel?


Jeebus--"the hand off"...well we sure as hell know he won't fold and give it to Biden.

Now Hillary could be something--I doubt Obama's ego would let him do it--plus Chrissy Matthews might think it is racist.

Posted by: tasker at May 24, 2012 12:43 PM (r2PLg)

105
Another f'n WI poll thread is up.

Posted by: Soothsayer at May 24, 2012 12:43 PM (jUytm)

106 Levi Johnson is the poster child for White Trailer Trash.

Posted by: Satan's Barbed Schnitzengruber at May 24, 2012 12:43 PM (Jls4P)

107 but wasn't Kathy Griffith at least hot in that movie where she chopped James Caan's foot off?


That wasn't Kathy Griffin, it was Brian Dennehy.

Posted by: Ghost of Lee Atwater at May 24, 2012 12:43 PM (JxMoP)

108 Can't Levi get a gig with Todd Bridges and Tonya Harding on TruTV's "World's Skeeviest Celebrity Flameouts?"

Posted by: Little Miss Spellcheck at May 24, 2012 12:43 PM (a5ljo)

109 "EU worries."


Posted by: CNBC

That shit hole has got some powerful stink to waft all the way across the Atlantic like that. Those fucking idiots.

Posted by: Dang at May 24, 2012 12:43 PM (Ky1+e)

110 vaiszh ??

Posted by: Hotspur at May 24, 2012 12:43 PM (5cgIv)

111 Stocks are down today but not because of Obama, California, the jobs data, or HP.

Because of "EU worries."


*****

Yep! Greek is exiting the Euro this weekend and I just know I'm going to be poorer on Monday because of it.

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at May 24, 2012 12:44 PM (piMMO)

112 If It Keeps on Raining Men II: The Levi is Gonna Break

Posted by: The Mega Independent at May 24, 2012 12:44 PM (M65mm)

113
Levi Johnson and JEF SCOAMF star in
"Who'sNail'in Palin Now?"

Posted by: Leonidas Hoetep at May 24, 2012 12:44 PM (KAa3c)

114 98 But seriously his next revelation has to be that Sarah Palin attempted to seduce him.

He has to play that card. It has to be big and unprovable.
Posted by: ace at May 24, 2012 12:42 PM (aw5Tx)


*******

His "ace in the hole" so to speak.

Posted by: tasker at May 24, 2012 12:44 PM (r2PLg)

115 99 When the Levi Breaks (his ass open for business)

Posted by: GnuBreed at May 24, 2012 12:45 PM (ccXZP)

116 107 Posted by: Ghost of Lee Atwater at May 24, 2012 12:43 PM (JxMoP)


Kathy BATES cutting of Jimmy Caan's foot in "Misery."

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at May 24, 2012 12:45 PM (MCDCp)

117 Levi's best bet: Gain 300 lbs and then go on The Biggest Loser.

Heh! He doesn't even have to gain the weight to be on a show called "The Biggest Loser".

Posted by: runningrn at May 24, 2012 12:45 PM (WGmy2)

118 107 but wasn't Kathy Griffith at least hot in that movie where she chopped James Caan's foot off?


That wasn't Kathy Griffin, it was Brian Dennehy.
Posted by: Ghost of Lee Atwater at May 24, 2012 12:43 PM (JxMoP)


*******

Jeebus dudes--

Kathy Bates.

Posted by: tasker at May 24, 2012 12:46 PM (r2PLg)

119 Can't Levi get a gig with Todd Bridges and Tonya Harding on TruTV's "World's Skeeviest Celebrity Flameouts?"

That would require delivering lines off a teleprompter. Which in turn requires the ability to read.

Posted by: Hollowpoint at May 24, 2012 12:46 PM (SY2Kh)

120 No way the SCOAMF hands anything off to anyone. Can't blame it on racism and then there will be no ending for all the heroic biopics.

Posted by: The Mega Independent at May 24, 2012 12:46 PM (M65mm)

121 98 But seriously his next revelation has to be that Sarah Palin attempted to seduce him.

He has to play that card. It has to be big and unprovable.
Posted by: ace at May 24, 2012 12:42 PM (aw5Tx)

----------------------------------------

Y'know I kind of think he might try to go bigger and engage in some strong hillbilly projection. I think he might try to allege incest in the Palin family somehow.

We really ought to start taking bets on what his next big accusation will be.

Posted by: jenny tries too hard at May 24, 2012 12:46 PM (snRY5)

122 ZAnd she didn't cut it off--she used a sledge hammer. So she beat it off.

Posted by: tasker at May 24, 2012 12:47 PM (r2PLg)

123 And the conservatives would eat it up. Very interesting how these so called "Christians" will accept and believe you if you say what they want to hear, isn't it????? Everytime they, fall for the act of some poor sinner who preaches the gospel according to St. Limbaugh. Right-wingers love those sappy "repentance" stories that draw people back to the collection plate.

And I say the nutjobs can have him back.. Good riddance, Levi. Eat up the attention and shill for the Koch Brothers. Just go away. Only the extremists have any use for your now. Even Palin herself looks dignified compared to you.

Posted by: Brandon at May 24, 2012 12:47 PM (bN5ZU)

124 And look at the USD rally. Bernanke must be shitting bricks looking at it.

Posted by: runninrebel at May 24, 2012 12:47 PM (N/1Dm)

125 ********

Well...the first question is--who is pretty enough to play Obama--


Denzel?


Jeebus--"the hand off"...well we sure as hell know he won't fold and give it to Biden.

Now Hillary could be something--I doubt Obama's ego would let him do it--plus Chrissy Matthews might think it is racist.
Posted by: tasker at May 24, 2012 12:43 PM (r2PLg)

I was thinking he should be played by that guy who wears the clock as a necklace.

I am not sure about the hand off, however, I am als unsure how obama is going to handle an epic slapdown - psychologically. if he reads the and has someone who is able to explain them to him I am inclined to think he will hand it off instead of staying and losing.

Posted by: yankeefifth at May 24, 2012 12:48 PM (Z9EHQ)

126 He already did that. in that book they dumped in the local libraries.

Posted by: Cthluthu at May 24, 2012 12:48 PM (nZW/8)

127 That wasn't Kathy Griffin, it was Brian Dennehy.


****

Kevin James

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at May 24, 2012 12:48 PM (piMMO)

128
Hey runningrn (@1

*golf clap*....serious serious *golf clap*

If you accomplish nothing else today, youshould still be proud. And this part, "Oh and she did this while wearing high heel stripper stillettos and a red dress that was paid for by McCain campaign donations", made me giggle the most. And I don't giggle.

Posted by: Lurking Canuck at May 24, 2012 12:48 PM (V4JUZ)

129 He could do a Spanish Gay Pron film.... it would be called....

The Gay Caballero!

Posted by: Satan's Barbed Schnitzengruber at May 24, 2012 12:48 PM (Jls4P)

130 Jeebus dudes--



Kathy Bates.

Posted by: tasker at May 24, 2012 12:46 PM (r2PLg)


I don't think you're getting the joke.

Posted by: EC at May 24, 2012 12:48 PM (GQ8sn)

131 Kevin James



Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at May 24, 2012 12:48 PM (piMMO)


No, Elena Kagan.

Posted by: EC at May 24, 2012 12:49 PM (GQ8sn)

132 Errr...that should be comment eighteen....not the smiley. F'n pixy

Posted by: Lurking Canuck at May 24, 2012 12:49 PM (V4JUZ)

133 Wearing a Hole in Levi's ***

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at May 24, 2012 12:49 PM (piMMO)

134 I think Levi's best chance is to become a rapper. He'd be perfect. Another talentless, illiterate, inchoherent, boxer baringjackass with an attitude. I'm sure he already has some tats. All he needs is some grilz and a good scratcher.

Posted by: runningrn at May 24, 2012 12:49 PM (WGmy2)

135 Average Joe sucks cock by choice.

Posted by: toby928© at May 24, 2012 12:50 PM (NG097)

136 Posted by: Lurking Canuck at May 24, 2012 12:48 PM (V4JUZ)Thanks!

Posted by: runningrn at May 24, 2012 12:51 PM (WGmy2)

137 I think Levi's best chance is to become a rapper. He'd be perfect. Another talentless, illiterate, inchoherent, boxer baringjackass with an attitude. I'm sure he already has some tats. All he needs is some grilz and a good scratcher.
Posted by: runningrn at May 24, 2012 12:49 PM (WGmy2)



Haha, you are on fire today!

Posted by: Ghost of Lee Atwater at May 24, 2012 12:52 PM (JxMoP)

138 120 No way the SCOAMF hands anything off to anyone. Can't blame it on racism and then there will be no ending for all the heroic biopics.
Posted by: The Mega Independent at May 24, 2012 12:46 PM (M65mm)

I think you are missing the beauty of racism - it is always your go to answer.

Q: president obama, why do you think you lost the election?
A: racism

Q: president obama, why do you decide no to run for reelection?
A: racism

Posted by: yankeefifth at May 24, 2012 12:52 PM (Z9EHQ)

139 "As CNN's rating approach zero, I predict Anderson Cooper will be doing Levi Johnson."

AC Three-Sexy!

Posted by: the first gay porn Levi Johnson will appear in at May 24, 2012 12:53 PM (V40IZ)

140 134 I think Levi's best chance is to become a rapper. He'd be perfect. Another talentless, illiterate, inchoherent, boxer baringjackass with an attitude. I'm sure he already has some tats. All he needs is some grilz and a good scratcher.
Posted by: runningrn at May 24, 2012 12:49 PM (WGmy2)

if he does he will be the nexe mr kim kardashian.

Posted by: yankeefifth at May 24, 2012 12:53 PM (Z9EHQ)

141 Ooooooooh!
There once was a boy named Levi Johnson,
Levi Johnson, Levi Johnson,
There once was a boy named Levi Johnson,
His name was a hunk of his junk.

Posted by: Cricket at May 24, 2012 12:53 PM (DrC22)

142

This Levi thing is starting to get a “Boogie Nights” feeling
around it. I see him going at first to
being the boy toy of some old attention-starved widow seeking to penetrate the
edge of celebrity.

Then on to gay porn.
One losing film.

Ending up as a fluffer for the gay porn production company.

Posted by: jwest at May 24, 2012 12:54 PM (ZDsRL)

143
I think you are missing the beauty of racism - it is always your go to answer.




Posted by: yankeefifth at May 24, 2012 12:52 PM (Z9EHQ)


That's a fair point.

Posted by: The Mega Independent at May 24, 2012 12:55 PM (M65mm)

144 They had in the neighbourhood of over 130 employees working on one game. That's a lotta paychecks to print. Half of those I bet were contractors hired in to build a portion of the game, and they ended up fucking shit up, firing them, and then hiring in a new round of contractors to clean up the previous mess, firing them, etc.
Posted by: EC at May 24, 2012 12:34 PM (GQ8sn)


Gosh, I dunno. Maybe a private equity firm could swoop in, cut away the deadwood, and get them on their feet. But no, private equity firms are EEEEEEEEEVIL.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Hobbit and ABO supporter at May 24, 2012 12:55 PM (4df7R)

145 134 I think Levi's best chance is to become a rapper. He'd be perfect. Another talentless, illiterate, inchoherent, boxer baringjackass with an attitude. I'm sure he already has some tats. All he needs is some grilz and a good scratcher.
Posted by: runningrn at May 24, 2012 12:49 PM (WGmy2)

if he does he will be the nexe mr kim kardashian.
Posted by: yankeefifth at May 24, 2012 12:53 PM (Z9EHQ)

Kan't happen. Unless he konsiders changing his name to Kevi. Give me some kredit, I'm at least konsistent.

Posted by: Kim Kardashian at May 24, 2012 12:56 PM (snRY5)

146 Denzel?


I'm already getting sick of Denzel as it is. That would seal the deal.

Posted by: eleven at May 24, 2012 12:56 PM (KXm42)

147
He's already got the gay stage name of Ricky Hollywood picked out. That's half the work right there.

Now all he has to do is enough coke to blot the memory of getting poo-stabbed more times than a pincushion.

Posted by: Empire of Jeff at May 24, 2012 12:56 PM (mJMH5)

148 "Levi Johnson storms Broadway in gay musical, "

Okla-homo!

Posted by: reason at May 24, 2012 12:57 PM (V40IZ)

149 That's a fair point.
Posted by: The Mega Independent at May 24, 2012 12:55 PM (M65mm)

I did hear that obama nearly messed up his wedding vows to michelle bacause when they asked if he took her as his wife yadda yadda yadda instead of saying "I do" he said "racism"

Posted by: yankeefifth at May 24, 2012 12:57 PM (Z9EHQ)

150 Gosh, I dunno. Maybe a private equity firm could swoop in, cut away the
deadwood, and get them on their feet. But no, private equity firms are
EEEEEEEEEVIL.



It depends on the nature of the product. There's only so much market share for certain types of games, and they've already locked up their customers. Not much else is out there for the smaller, lesser known studios to grab and be profitable with.

Posted by: EC at May 24, 2012 12:57 PM (GQ8sn)

151 Levi's Assless Chaps

Posted by: eleven at May 24, 2012 12:58 PM (KXm42)

152 146 Denzel?


I'm already getting sick of Denzel as it is. That would seal the deal.

Posted by: eleven at May 24, 2012 12:56 PM (KXm42)

halle barry?

Posted by: yankeefifth at May 24, 2012 12:58 PM (Z9EHQ)

153 I was thinking he should be played by that guy who wears the clock as a necklace.

*****

Flavor Flav?


*****

130 Jeebus dudes--



Kathy Bates.

Posted by: tasker at May 24, 2012 12:46 PM (r2PLg)

I don't think you're getting the joke.
Posted by: EC at May 24, 2012 12:48 PM (GQ8sn)

*******

Oops! Well I conflate Griffin and Bates so I thought that...forget it.

Dyslexia.

Hey! At least I got it when they started mentioning male actors.

Posted by: tasker at May 24, 2012 12:59 PM (r2PLg)

154 And plus any private equity company that tries to come in and rescue that studio is going to have to accept the terms of the loan repayment they got from RI. No way any private company is going to touch it with a 50' pole.

Posted by: EC at May 24, 2012 12:59 PM (GQ8sn)

155 Levi's Assless Chaps
Posted by: eleven at May 24, 2012 12:58 PM (KXm42)


Levi's Assless Chaps Chapstick

Posted by: yankeefifth at May 24, 2012 01:00 PM (Z9EHQ)

156 Lots of Yankee fans in here ?

Posted by: grease monkey at May 24, 2012 01:00 PM (VSWPU)

157 Denzel?

Will Smith has the ears for it.

Posted by: toby928© at May 24, 2012 01:00 PM (NG097)

158 I'll give Johnson $20 if I can break his nose and he won't press charges. Come on, Levi, it's a win for us both.

Posted by: UGAdawg at May 24, 2012 01:01 PM (kPeSM)

159 Flavor Flav?



Yeah him.

Posted by: yankeefifth at May 24, 2012 01:01 PM (Z9EHQ)

160 Halle Berry?

LOL!

Posted by: tasker at May 24, 2012 01:04 PM (r2PLg)

161 Do we know for a fact that Levi hasn't already done gay porn? I say the burden of proof is on him.

Posted by: somebody else, not me at May 24, 2012 01:04 PM (nZvGM)

162 Levi Johnson debuts in...
BUTTONFLY.

Posted by: reason at May 24, 2012 01:06 PM (V40IZ)

163

I'll be in my bunk.
Posted by: Andrew Sullivan

Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at May 24, 2012 01:06 PM (kdS6q)

164 Also, this "penniless" claim is dubious to me.

For a loss, yes, but you can commonly re-sell guns, boats, and cars. Unless you've trashed the absolute shit out of them, which, I mean, onlyan imbecile of immense proporti...

Yeah, ok. Penniless.

Posted by: reason at May 24, 2012 01:07 PM (V40IZ)

165
>>Maybe Levi can get a vasectomy live on the internet? I might donate to that cause.<<

I've got some rusty garden shears that would be perfect for this.

Posted by: Jay Guevara at May 24, 2012 01:08 PM (XTf0Z)

166 ButtFilla from Wasilla!

Posted by: nickless at May 24, 2012 01:09 PM (MMC8r)

167

Here’s a note to the gay porn producers who happen to read
AoS.

You have the opportunity to make one of the first cross-over
gay porn events. As a straight male, I
would still pay money to watch Levi Johnson’s first gay porn experience, live
on pay per view. Of course, it would
need to be a prison rape scene with multiple burly partners, but let’s leave
the detail to the experts.

Posted by: jwest at May 24, 2012 01:10 PM (ZDsRL)

168 Poor broke Levi. Just another example of those nasty snowbilly Palins using their enormous influence to punish him.

Posted by: Jaws at May 24, 2012 01:11 PM (4I3Uo)

169 Good thing Bristol Palin lives in Alaska. If she lived in California or New York or some other Northeast liberal hell hole, she'd probably have to pay him child support.

Posted by: VADM (Red) Cuthbert Lord Collingwood (Mentioned in Dispatches) at May 24, 2012 01:16 PM (rvxFd)

170 New best headline ever.

Posted by: Prindle at May 24, 2012 01:22 PM (2Ynt1)

171 When we reach midnight, the hands on the clock will look just like an erect penis.

Posted by: Buzzsaw90 at May 24, 2012 01:24 PM (SO2Q8)

172
Dear Mr. Johnson,
We have avidlybeen following yourpersonallife and professional careerfor several years now. I believe we have a job position for you in our advertising department that you cannot refuse. Our Board recently met and unaminously voted that you, small town boy from Wasilla Alaska embody the very values and core mission of our products, and we would love it if you would be the public face of our company.

Posted by: Samuel E. Massengill III, CEO S.E. Massengill Inc. at May 24, 2012 01:25 PM (WGmy2)

173 129 He could do a Spanish Gay Pron film.... it would be called....The Gay Caballero!
Hardcore mex pron title would be "LJ:Un Puto Pendejo y su Pinga Podrido"

Posted by: fastfreefall at May 24, 2012 01:27 PM (timQz)

174 What did he get a million dollars for, and from whom?

Posted by: BeckoningChasm at May 24, 2012 01:28 PM (i0App)

175 "I wonder if he got tired of fucking Kathy Griffin."
==========

The opposite. She got tired of sticking her dick in his ass.

Posted by: Kensington at May 24, 2012 01:29 PM (H84UO)

176 Sorry, its not that easy to get into gay porn.

Levi will have to pay his dues like the rest of the industry.

He starts as fluffer and works his way up.

Posted by: sexypig at May 24, 2012 01:36 PM (wWV5q)

177 "You have the opportunity to make one of the first cross-over
gay porn events. As a straight male, I
would still pay money to watch Levi Johnson’s first gay porn experience, live
on pay per view. Of course, it would
need to be a prison rape scene with multiple burly partners, but let’s leave
the detail to the experts. "


NO NO NO NO NO NO

That sounds way to coerced. I want to see Levi reluctantly have some dude force his head down. I want to see shame and a money shot, too.

Posted by: sexypig at May 24, 2012 01:39 PM (wWV5q)

178
But seriously his next revelation has to be that Sarah Palin attempted to seduce him.



He has to play that card. It has to be big and unprovable.

Posted by: ace at May 24, 2012 12:42 PM (aw5Tx)




He's waaaaay ahead of you. That was the big reveal of his ghostwritten "book". Even the leftists didn't believe his bullshit.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at May 24, 2012 01:40 PM (xDqit)

179 in other news, who the hell is this guy (saw on yahoo news):

Introduced by New York State Sen. Thomas F. O'Mara (R—Big Flats), S6779 would require that any anonymous post online is subject to removal if the poster refuses to post — and verify — their legal name, their IP address, and their home address. From the (likely well intentioned) bill (from a senator who clearly does not "get" the internet):

"A web site administrator upon request shall remove any comments posted on his or her web site by an anonymous poster unless such anonymous poster agrees to attach his or her name to the post and confirms that his or her IP address, legal name, and home address are accurate. All web site administrators shall have a contact number or e-mail address posted for such removal requests, clearly visible in any sections where comments are posted."

Posted by: mallfly at May 24, 2012 01:41 PM (bJm7W)

180 Um dude was in playgirl... I think we all know women dont buy playgirl. Gay men do. That counts as doing gay pron.

Posted by: miikeb at May 24, 2012 01:42 PM (x2bTX)

181 Levi Johnson and Anthony Wiener star in:

Six Tweets to Midnight Millions

Posted by: Fritz at May 24, 2012 02:18 PM (/ZZCn)

182 "I know high school girls can sometimes make terrible mistakes and open their legs for some asshole athlete, but my question is how come I never ran into one in high school?" - posted by Nevergiveup

Probably because "A/V Club lead projectionist" has a poor track record in terms of getting panties to head south. Just sayin'.

Posted by: Mary Poppins' Practically Perfect Clitoris at May 24, 2012 02:20 PM (zF6Iw)

183 Bristol was luckier than she knew when this creep dumped her.

I have known people like Levi. Not quite so extreme, of course, but the potential was there. They may or may not be intelligent (Levi isn't) but they are cunning opportunists who have no ethics and no conscience. (My sister dumped her husband after two kids and the realization that he had married her for a meal ticket. He's homeless today, and still blames everybody else for his problems.)

People like Levi are sociopaths, to be blunt. The smarter ones get farther than Levi, but they are just as disgusting.

I wouldn't want to bet on this guy's future. He's headed downhill fast.

Posted by: Lee at May 24, 2012 02:23 PM (RtwOA)

184 How exactly is Levi Johnson pursuit offame and fortuneat any costdifferentthan obamalying abouthis life to get into universtities from which he would eventually reapfame andfortune?

Posted by: proreason at May 24, 2012 02:40 PM (9JrlY)

185 People like Levi are sociopaths, to be blunt. The smarter ones get farther than Levi, but they are just as disgusting.

Some manage to make it to 1600 Pennsylvania Ave.

Posted by: Purp (@PurpAv) at May 24, 2012 02:55 PM (Arf1c)

186 Obama is a stuttering clusterf*ck of a miserable failure.

Posted by: steevy at May 24, 2012 03:12 PM (7W3wI)

187 Well,he MIGHT do straight porn.

Posted by: steevy at May 24, 2012 03:12 PM (7W3wI)

188 Oh look,

Posted by: Brandon at May 24, 2012 12:47 PM (bN5ZU)


palinsteele is back again.

Posted by: Deathknyte at May 24, 2012 03:33 PM (ReXCQ)

189 Levi's porn name:

Peter Catcher

Posted by: Ozzie at May 24, 2012 03:43 PM (fA1MT)

190 Did sumwun sey he's into "Bow gay porn"? IAm sew sighted by dat.

Posted by: Bwaney Fwank at May 24, 2012 03:43 PM (crQ6y)

191 Goddamnit!
Hey, anyone notice all the blubells around here?

Posted by: Andrew Sullivan at May 24, 2012 03:58 PM (M3QBc)

192 Make-up call to Bristol in 5...4...3...2...

(Derisive peals of laughter and hang up by Bristol in 10...9...8...7...)

Posted by: Rich Fader at May 24, 2012 04:11 PM (K5VE1)

193 187
Well,he MIGHT do straight porn.

Are you kidding? There's no money in that for a guy.

Posted by: TSUGambler at May 24, 2012 04:20 PM (fQjba)

194
As he is an Alaskan native, it seems utterly appropriate that his first film would feature some big burly "bears", right?

Posted by: FartDeco at May 24, 2012 04:34 PM (5V/gH)

195 "Levi Johnson Gay Porn Doomsday Clock's Hands Advanced to Six to Midnight"
Oh My God... that's some funny chit Ace. Knee-slappin funny!
I'm on the ass end of a 9-5eta service call for a busted air conditioner...in Houston Tx! I've been bitchin @ the air conditioningservice and my insurance co all day... but this thread changed my sweaty outlook. Thanx Ace!

Posted by: trax at May 24, 2012 05:10 PM (GFTct)

196 Hey dammit, don't be haulin me into this mess!

Posted by: Todd Bridges, First to go bad, last to go down at May 24, 2012 05:14 PM (x60m8)

197 Maybe he should get a worthwhile job.

Oops, forgot. He'd rather sponge off the rest of the world, like most Democrat leeches.

Posted by: Lee at May 24, 2012 05:57 PM (RtwOA)

198 He better hurry, I hear Todd still wants to cut his nuts off, and there goes his career as a hose bag.

Posted by: mojo at May 24, 2012 06:55 PM (hv4gS)

199 194

As he is an Alaskan native, it seems utterly appropriate that his first film would feature some big burly "bears", right?

Posted by: FartDeco at May 24, 2012 04:34 PM (5V/gH)

Bearback mountain? Bearback mounting?

Posted by: Temper Tantrum at May 24, 2012 07:08 PM (AWmfW)

200 gay porn can be lucrative but not THAT lucrative....besides, the hot look in porn now is the hairy, bearded type which levi, decidedly, is not. maybe he'd have a shot, so to speak, if this was still the 80's but, gay-porn-wise,time and tastes have passed him by.

Posted by: el polacko at May 24, 2012 08:47 PM (J8dNS)

201 172

Dear Mr. Johnson,
We have avidly been following your personal life
and professional career for several years now. I believe we have a job
position for you in our advertising department that you cannot refuse.
Our Board recently met and unaminously voted that you, small town boy
from Wasilla Alaska embody the very values and core mission of our
products, and we would love it if you would be the public face of our
company.


Posted by: Samuel E. Massengill III, CEO S.E. Massengill Inc. at May 24, 2012 01:25 PM (WGmy2)
***********
WAIT A MINUTE, Mr Massengill. We have already been in negotiation with Mr. Johnston. You must cease and desist all contact with our new client.

Posted by: Eve Summer, President, Summer's Eve LLC at May 24, 2012 11:39 PM (vbmRw)

202 Ace and all other Morons (except 4) misspelled Johnston's name.

Anyway, Levi won't sign up for gay porn. He'll be doing strapon porn (on the bottom) being dominated by an old MILF woman with librarian-type sexy looks. Said older woman would play an angry M-i-L taking out her rage on her worthless S-i-L.

Film dialog is entirely predictable.

Librarian: "You may have knocked up my baby doll but get ready, Levi bitch, 'cause I'm gonna DRILL, BABY, DRILL!"

Posted by: TooCon at May 26, 2012 10:45 AM (YcTIW)






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