Ashley Judd: I Blame The Patriarchy For The Nasty Things Women and Gay Men Are Saying About My Puffy Face

Ashley Judd's face is puffy.

Did you know that? I did not. This is an important point. I did not know her face was puffy, and if you are a straight man, I'm betting you did not either.

As a member of The Patriarchy in good standing, I did not know this. I did not know about her puffy face. Even if I had known about her puffy face, I would not have remarked on it, as Ashley Judd is not relevant enough for a guy to discuss.

But she is relevant enough for the gossip blogs to discuss.

And who writes and reads the gossip blogs? Pardon me for indulging in stereotype, but it's not "The Patriarchy." It is women and gay men, well-nigh exclusively.

I've actually been meaning to ask about the gossip blogs -- like, why? I know a lot of women read them, women who consider themselves cultured and above tawdry nonsense in The Star or whatever.

Gossip blogs transmit the exact same crap in The Star and the rest of them, but they package it in a "Gee We're So Above this Silly Shit" and add a bit of ironic distance via snark.

And this serves as an adequate bit of self-deception for the consumers of these sites. They want to read this trivial nonsense; they just want someone to pretend they're all Above It, so they can enjoy it.

Look, if you're reading this trivial stuff, that's fine and all. I read about embarrassing stuff at night too (like, what's the design philosophy behind the new D&D? No seriously, that's not a joke, it's a confession-- many people have a soft spot for silly crap.)

But own it, damnit. If you're reading crap culled from The Star, even if some idiot blogger with the screenname Napoleon Cellulite is digesting it for you with some add-on f-bombs and insults, you're actually reading The Star.

Anyway, this is a bit of a tangent, but I note it to reinforce my point: Straight men do not read this crap and further are actively hostile to it. Even if "Napoleon Cellulite" does add so much lovely snark to an article on Beach Body Bombs culled from The Globe.

And right now, I guess, they're talking about the Mystery of the Puffy Face.

And why would someone be talked about simply because we know, vaguely, who they are? Well, I think it's just the childhood urge to pick out the One Who's Different and say mean things about her, to create a bond among the people saying cruel things, and to "lift" them while putting the object of their Two Minute Hate down.

It's playground baiting and social dominance bullying, adapted for adults, and adapted for adults who are strangers to each other and who thus do not know the same "normal people." As they don't know the same "normal people" to gossip about and be cruel to, they need to find some people who are constructively part of their Social Group; and celebrities fit the bill.

No, we don't really know them per se, but we've seen them, we know their names, and we know a bit of their work. So they will serve the purpose of the Ugly Girl/The Girl With Braces who Gleeps When She Talks/The Slut/The Girl Whose Boobs Grew Too Early/The Girl Whose Boobs Are Growing Too Late.

And the point is that this is not really a trait of "The Patriarchy." Men do this, yes, but not as much. We don't need to seek out the Girl Bullying-Session Playground in our adult lives. Oh sure we'll do it on occasion, but we don't really seek it out.

We are cruel as it comes to us.

So that's my thought on the curious need for otherwise smart, mature, cultured women to seek out material that seems to me to be absolutely trivial dreck and cruelty for the sake of cruelty alone.

Adult men have told me they like this site because they get to do something here they don't do much since they were 8th graders: Riff on the same joke, over and over, varying it, pushing it, morphing it. And that's fun as hell. I miss that 8th grade pleasure, the riff that goes on until it stops being funny (and then starts being funny again), and so I am glad that I have an outlet, as an adult, to indulge in this pleasure.

So it's my guess that women are attracted to the gossip blogs for similar reason. You're not supposed to indulge in pointless cruelty as an adult; do it too often in your actual life and you'll probably find your social options declining.

But you can enjoy a bit of this via some pointless venting at the bad plastic surgery choices of, I don't know, whoever. Lindsey Lohan, right? She's relevant. (Well, not really, she doesn't work anymore, but she did up to like five years ago, so I guess in gossip that makes her a Currently Super-Hot Celebrity.)

My point really isn't to judge. If this is as I think it is, it is certainly understandable from a psychological perspective. We have certain animal sentiments which are coached out of us through culturalization and maturation, but they never really go away.

I often think that human psychology is pretty simple, if you understand that we're all selfish, immature, position-seeking little animals like we were in 7th grade, just with superstructures of maturity and sophistication tacked on in somewhat rickety fashion. But, look past the superstructure, and the basic engine and hull are the same as they were when we were Little Monsters.

So I'm not really bashing women. I get why this happens. People are people, and there's no changing that.

But I repeat my point: This is a Girl thing, which a lot of gay men join in on.

People theorize -- and I think they're right -- that man participate in sports and games as a socially-benign method of channeling their own need to assert dominance and act, basically, like assholes.

If women want less of the catty gossip game, they need to look within themselves -- is there some more socially-positive manner by which the primal, pre-pubescent urge to assert social dominance can be satisfied? Like something competitive, but not cruelly so -- I don't know, like a nice game of Bridge? (Before any feminists whine that I'm suggesting something horrible -- I love bridge, dummies. I'm giving you a recommendation, not an insult. Bridge is fun.)

So why does Ashley Judd write in a faux-sophisticated manner to claim that The Patriarchy lies behind all her Puffy Face Travails?

The Conversation about women’s bodies exists largely outside of us, while it is also directed at (and marketed to) us, and used to define and control us. The Conversation about women happens everywhere, publicly and privately. We are described and detailed, our faces and bodies analyzed and picked apart, our worth ascertained and ascribed based on the reduction of personhood to simple physical objectification. Our voices, our personhood, our potential, and our accomplishments are regularly minimized and muted.

"The Conversation." Something to control women. As you'll see, it's created by The Patriarchy.

Seriously? I can't imagine the last time I thought about Ashley Judd, nevermind the last time I had The Conversation about her face or body or whatever.

Little secret: Men don't have The Conversation about most women. They have The Conversation about women they specifically think are hot or near-hot. They argue about who is hot and who is not hot.

But the point is, you sort of have to be in the mix of People Who Might Arguably Be Hot to have The Conversation centered around you.

They don't have The Conversation about fading actresses, you know.

Straight men have never discussed Oprah's weight fluctuations. Because she was never hot.

Ditto Carnie Wilson. Guys do not talk about Carnie Wilson. Women do.

Christina Aguilera? Maybe. She was hot once. Maybe getting there again.

I know this is a cruel thing, but men's cruelty really consists of saying nothing at all, doesn't it?

It's really a woman thing to knock the looks of someone who isn't really a stand-out in the first place.

I'm not trying to say Men Are Better. I'm trying to say Men Are Different, and we are not sitting here worrying about Ashley Judd's puffy face.

Now, if Megan Fox got bad plastic surgery, we'd notice, and say something.

Ashley Judd?

Sorry, that's a woman thing.

After discussing The Conversation about her Puffy Face, and the various speculations about what is causing it (which I didn't read, because I don't care), she gets to villain.

That women are joining in the ongoing disassembling of my appearance is salient.

They are not "joining" it; they are driving it. They are well-nigh the sole participants.

Patriarchy is not men. Patriarchy is a system in which both women and men participate.

She's determined to rope me into this.

I did not notice the Puffy Face and still, as I write this, have not bothered to look fro a picture showing your allegedly Puffy Face.

I do not care.

Women care. Not men.

So this particular expression of The Patriarchy seems to be of a very strange sort -- the women-only Patriarchy.

It privileges, inter alia, the interests of boys and men over the bodily integrity, autonomy, and dignity of girls and women.

No, it's about women cutting on other women to make themselves feel better about their own flaws.

It is subtle, insidious, and never more dangerous than when women passionately deny that they themselves are engaging in it.

Like right now. Because women are not "engaging in it." They are driving it. Men don't care about Ashley Judd.

I can't stress this enough.

This abnormal obsession with women’s faces and bodies has become so normal that we (I include myself at times—I absolutely fall for it still) have internalized patriarchy almost seamlessly. We are unable at times to identify ourselves as our own denigrating abusers, or as abusing other girls and women.

This is one of those times.

A case in point is that this conversation was initially promulgated largely by women; a sad and disturbing fact.

Initially?

And now The Volokh Conspiracy has joined in, eh? Clayton Cramer is now writing about the Great Puffy Face Controversy of 2012, huh?

...

I hope the sharing of my thoughts can generate a new conversation: Why was a puffy face cause for such a conversation in the first place? How, and why, did people participate?

I just told you. It's an extension of the primitive need to assert social dominance among women. Boys tend to do the cruelty stuff too, but boy's cruelty is ultimately physical -- beating. Cruelty of words first, but then cruelty of action.

Because any cruelty with men could ultimately result in violence, there's usually a Line that isn't crossed, and if it is, other men usually step in (acting essentially as "seconds" in a duel) to negotiate a non-violent resolution. (If there is no intervention or ritualized face-saving, or an abject retreat by a guy who knows he's about to get his ass kicked, we'll have an outbreak of violence, which is men's inborn flaw.)

Because physical violence is atypical in women, it tends to remain in the verbal cruelty phase, but also, as there is little threat of an outbreak of violence, it can get a lot crueler than it does between men.

I'm sorry, but if you're as intelligent a woman and as strong a thinker as you pretend to be, you're going to have to incorporate this into your theory, and stop attempting to shirk blame off by conjuring up an imaginary The Patriarchy obsessing about your Puffy Face.

If not in the conversation about me, in parallel ones about women in your sphere? What is the gloating about? What is the condemnation about? What is the self-righteous alleged “all knowing” stance of the media about?

Well that's just them playing the same Playground Cruelty Games I was talking about. They have the biggest microphones, so they can drown out others' attempts to challenge them just by turning the speaker up to 10.

...

Is what girls and women can do different from what boys and men can do?

In terms of verbal cruelty, yes.

What does this have to do with how women are treated in the workplace?

Your Puffy Face? I don't know. Probably not a lot.

But look -- it's not really a Big Secret that women start playing Queen Bee power games with each other almost immediately, is it?

Every guy knows this. The moment after you and your lady depart from a meeting another female... Well, now is the time we're going to discuss that woman's flaws, isn't it?

Our contribution (as members of The Patriarchy) is usually limited to polite agreement like, "You're right, dear, she does comport herself like a shameless trollop from Whore College."

Be serious. "The Patriarchy" is not driving that particular post-mortem.

...

We experience brutal criticism. The dialogue is constructed so that our bodies are a source of speculation, ridicule, and invalidation, as if they belong to others—and in my case, to the actual public.

...

If this conversation about me is going to be had, I will do my part to insist that it is a feminist one, because it has been misogynistic from the start.

It is misogynistic. And it is also feminist.

Because feminism is largely about shifting blame from the self to a vague "Other." And thus, blame-shifted, no personal responsibility need be taken for it, and the phenomenon continues.

It's yet another bit of primitive coding which mature people have to confront and control. Men have it. Women have it.

Women need to recognize it, not make up feel-good stories to justify it/excuse it.

Who makes the fantastic leap from being sick, or gaining some weight over the winter, to a conclusion of plastic surgery? Our culture, that’s who.

No, not "our culture" generally. A specific part of the culture -- a part of the culture straight men have precious little to do with.

...

It affects each and every one of us, in multiple and nefarious ways: our self-image, how we show up in our relationships and at work, our sense of our worth, value, and potential as human beings. Join in—and help change—the Conversation.

Okay, I did. But I suspect that my input into "The Conversation" won't be received well, as it does not satisfy the actual urge of the Playground Mean Girls Bullying Game -- the rules of that game are to increase the bonding/self-worth/social status of the In Group, the group which is controlling the game and which has the numbers, by piling abuse and humiliation on the Out Group, which is smaller in number.

The "Out Group" in the game Ashley Judd wishes to play is "The Patriarchy," and she's lining up the Mean Girls to dump on them.

The actual way to exit the game -- to end the cruelty -- is to stop searching out desperately for external tormentors -- communal scapegoats -- and look within.

This is so elemental I'm surprised I have to say it. From the beginning of sophisticated human thought-- back to the Greeks, even before -- the general idea has usually been "stop seeking to pile blame on to others; look within yourself to find if you are contributing to the behavior you condemn. Seek to change yourself before trying to change others.

I dislike like Feminism, as currently conceived, primarily due to something besides its political ramifications (which are, frankly, minor).

I dislike it because it's always seemed to me to be so immature, self-absorbed, and trivial.

When I consider great philosophical movements, I do not conceive them as primarily concerned with "getting people to stop talking smack about me."

Nietzsche is not remembered for the aphorism: "I'm big and I'm beautiful, maybe you just can't handle a full-figured woman!!!"

And the great philosophies are largely about the journey inward -- discovering one's own flaws and biases and selfish and cruel impulses.

The great philosophies are supremely not about identifying an external boogeyman and blaming all of "society's" ills on that boogeyman.

That's just cheap demagoguery.

This is my problem with feminism, as currently conceived by most women: Whereas other philosophies demand something hard -- tough introspection, a change of life in accordance with the product of that introspection, etc. -- feminism (as currently conceived) seems to be little more than "You're the Best, Girl!" blanket excuse/blame-shifting.

This is philosophy? Blaming shit on other people? Making up various self-justifications and esteem-boosting narratives?

Haven't people been doing that since they began walking upright? And isn't that the source of most of our problems, rather than the solution to them?

Children do this, instinctively. Human beings' ability to blame others and dodge fault and convince themselves that everything they do is Good and Pure is inborn.

Three year olds instinctively know to blame Invisible Cookie Thieves for stealing the cookie.

I need a philosophy to tell me I should think in a childish manner?

Posted by: Ace at 02:48 PM



Comments

1 I never got past the puffy chest.

Posted by: Roy at April 10, 2012 02:07 PM (VndSC)

2 Rush saying Santorum has suspended campaign.

Posted by: Lady in Black.....{sigh} at April 10, 2012 02:08 PM (tfw18)

3 Santorum concedes to Romney

Posted by: Velvet Ambition at April 10, 2012 02:08 PM (mFxQX)

4 Barack Obama is a stuttering clusterf*ck of a miserable tyrant.

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) SMOD 2012 at April 10, 2012 02:08 PM (8y9MW)

5 Who is Ashley Judd? Was she the one in Beteljuice? So cut down on the salt and the food and the drugs honey. Then cut out sugar, wheat, alcohol, and nice tasting vegetables and fruits. You should un-puff.

Posted by: dagny at April 10, 2012 02:08 PM (CMM9V)

6
brb, gettin a snack before I read this long post

Posted by: soothsayer at April 10, 2012 02:08 PM (jUytm)

7 Judd actually is working in TV right now. She stars in an ABC show called Missing. And yeah, in some shots her face does look puffy.

Posted by: sauropod at April 10, 2012 02:09 PM (iAkDQ)

8 How many clangs?

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) SMOD 2012 at April 10, 2012 02:09 PM (8y9MW)

9 Holy shit. Now I remember what it was like to stand at the base of the Empire State Building for the first time and try to see all the way to the top.

That's a helluva lotta effort to say you don't give two shits.

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at April 10, 2012 02:09 PM (piMMO)

10 My God, it's full of words!

Posted by: dave bowman at April 10, 2012 02:09 PM (GTbGH)

11 Holy crap it took eons to scroll to the new comments thingy

Posted by: phoenixgirl at April 10, 2012 02:09 PM (pYiys)

12 TLDR. Was this a movie review?

Posted by: Insomniac at April 10, 2012 02:10 PM (DrWcr)

13
Whoa!

Are we expected to read all that? That's like a kajillion pages!

It's not fair!

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars at April 10, 2012 02:10 PM (FcKXR)

14

BREAKING NEWS: Former U.S. Senator Rick Santorum is reportedly suspending his presidential campaign.


1 min ago
??

Posted by: the audacity of abhorence at April 10, 2012 02:10 PM (lpWVn)

15
PUFFY BUT FIRM!

Posted by: wheatie at April 10, 2012 02:10 PM (+5U+B)

16 Ashley is not aging well

Posted by: phoenixgirl at April 10, 2012 02:10 PM (pYiys)

17 What movie is this?


Looking for Michael Tomasky?

Posted by: tasker at April 10, 2012 02:10 PM (r2PLg)

18 tldr, eh?

Posted by: joeindc44 the bluff caller at April 10, 2012 02:10 PM (QxSug)

19 It's the bulimia stupid.

Posted by: Ms Choksondik, trying to work up an appetite for a shit sandwich at April 10, 2012 02:11 PM (fYOZx)

20 Ashley's in a TV show, isn't she? I thought I saw ads for it. Some revenge thing.

Posted by: Waterhouse at April 10, 2012 02:11 PM (rND5e)

21 I checked.

My local theater is not playing any Ashley Judd movies or films titled Puffy Face. Ace must have reviewed a film in limited release

Posted by: BumperStickerist at April 10, 2012 02:11 PM (PoYwH)

22 Now we know where Ace was this morning.. writing this trojan opus

Posted by: Shiggz RocketSurgeon at April 10, 2012 02:11 PM (RfvTE)

23 Ace brings new meaning to the term---


"puff piece".

Posted by: tasker at April 10, 2012 02:11 PM (r2PLg)

24 Puffy but cute. Which doesn't mean she isn't a weird idiot.


Posted by: eleven at April 10, 2012 02:11 PM (KXm42)

25 Young but old

Posted by: phoenixgirl at April 10, 2012 02:11 PM (pYiys)

26
Ashley Judd is the sister of Carnie Wilson?

Posted by: soothsayer at April 10, 2012 02:11 PM (jUytm)

27

Wow! With that lengthy saga, we need more cowbell!

Posted by: Doctor Fish at April 10, 2012 02:11 PM (TkGkA)

28 I woke up at 3 AM worrying about Ashley Judds puffy face, or maybe it was to pee.

Posted by: robtr at April 10, 2012 02:11 PM (MtwBb)

29 Funny, when I saw her on TV recently I thought she looked pretty good. Puffiness was not something I noticed.

Posted by: taylork-T minus 14 days until quitting at April 10, 2012 02:12 PM (5wsU9)

30 Wow, sh!t just got real.

Posted by: jakeman at April 10, 2012 02:12 PM (96M6e)

31 What movie is this?

Posted by: nickless at April 10, 2012 02:12 PM (MMC8r)

32
Ace: "I need a philosophy to tell me I should think in a childish manner?"

No, silly....you need the 'philosophy' to be able to justify it.

Posted by: wheatie at April 10, 2012 02:12 PM (+5U+B)

33 Um Santorum is dropping out and we get a mile long post on Ashley Freaking I Posed Topless Judd??!!

Posted by: DangerGirl at April 10, 2012 02:12 PM (EPDZ2)

34 Who is Ashley Judd?

Posted by: Ronster at April 10, 2012 02:12 PM (XkVVw)

35 When I retire, I’m gonna come back and read the entire article.

Posted by: jwest at April 10, 2012 02:12 PM (ZDsRL)

36 Sacred honor compels me........

Posted by: Will Folkes at April 10, 2012 02:12 PM (jucos)

37 On the other hand, when the men around here make the much-too-old running joke about Sarah Jessica Parker, by all accounts a charming a decent woman, being a horse-face, it pisses me off.

When it comes to men criticizing women, you're always just a reflex away from a jab a their looks.

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at April 10, 2012 02:12 PM (piMMO)

38 as Ashley Judd is not relevant enough for a guy to discuss.
She's not in movies or TV shows lately.


She's got a new TV show out now which is why this is a BFD. Actually, I give her credit for the fact that she's playing a character that has a college age son.

You know, I would be happy to wager that the vast vast vast vast majority of those making bitchy comments about her consider themselves nice little tolerant leftists. This is nearly as much fun as me finally getting to hurl heteronormative at people.

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD 2012 at April 10, 2012 02:13 PM (VtjlW)

39 Somehow Ace has reference to Volokh in here...


wth ?

Posted by: tasker at April 10, 2012 02:13 PM (r2PLg)

40 Breitbart was wise.

Posted by: toby928© at April 10, 2012 02:13 PM (GTbGH)

41 Ace, you aren't chatting with Gabe enough.

Also, as Santorum just "suspended" his campaign, it is now time for me to start looking at Buddy Roemer or whoever is running in the Constitution Party this election, as the Bishop of the Magic Undies is OUT. There is no scenario in which I vote for Mitt.

Posted by: Your Inner Voice at April 10, 2012 02:13 PM (okXo7)

42 Would anyone know who Ashley Judd was if she wasn't hot most of the time? Does she really think she was hired for her acting skills? She's not Meryl Streep or Helen Mirren...did I miss them posing in a UK hockey jersey? I don't think I did.

Posted by: Diddy at April 10, 2012 02:13 PM (5j3P1)

43 Buck up, Ashley. *Guys* on Prednisone don't have it easy either.

Posted by: logprof at April 10, 2012 02:13 PM (CE2wR)

44

Yeah, it pisses me off when they call me Mr. Ed too!

Posted by: Jon Carry, D-Masshole at April 10, 2012 02:13 PM (TkGkA)

45 Ashley Judd? I think I remember NASCAR fans talking about her because she's currently married to an Italian driver. Isn't her sister the fat one of the two Judds?

Posted by: the Butcher at April 10, 2012 02:13 PM (8g9qq)

46 Who? Ashley Judd? Isn't he a hot new prospect in the Yankees' farm system?

Posted by: Jay Guevara at April 10, 2012 02:13 PM (NH8EN)

47 Why did she go into acting if she didn't want people looking at her?

Posted by: Baldy at April 10, 2012 02:13 PM (1dLyW)

48 Puffy but cute. Which doesn't mean she isn't a weird idiot.

****


She's a fucking leftie jackwagon.

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at April 10, 2012 02:14 PM (piMMO)

49
Ashley's rant would mean a lot more if it came from Susan Boyle, not some aging beauty who can't cope with seeing more candles on her birthday cake.

Posted by: soothsayer at April 10, 2012 02:14 PM (jUytm)

50 Ashley Judd is not relevant enough for a guy to discuss.

Okay, maybe 10K words or so.

Posted by: nickless at April 10, 2012 02:14 PM (MMC8r)

51 Wynonna had a puffy face. Nobody cared either.

Posted by: Roy at April 10, 2012 02:14 PM (VndSC)

52 Oh, and I hope Santorum takes the high road for the sake of the party (and country) and doesn't whine the entire press conference.

Posted by: Diddy at April 10, 2012 02:14 PM (5j3P1)

53 Ashley Who?

Get over it kiddo.


Posted by: Jimbo at April 10, 2012 02:14 PM (O3R/2)

54 I think she was beautiful and sexy when she was younger and I didn't know her politics.

But now...who gives a shit? She's an idiot, reflexive Hollywood leftist without a coherent and independent idea in her small brain.

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo (NJConservative) at April 10, 2012 02:14 PM (nEUpB)

55 >>>On the other hand, when the men around here make the much-too-old
running joke about Sarah Jessica Parker, by all accounts a charming a
decent woman, being a horse-face, it pisses me off.

But she does have a horse face.

Posted by: taylork-T minus 14 days until quitting at April 10, 2012 02:15 PM (5wsU9)

56 Wasn't Santorum a Metallica Song?

Posted by: Darth Chjipmunk at April 10, 2012 02:15 PM (niW49)

57 So, she has a puffy face? When I have to be treated with steroids that's the first thing that happens. Then the eating, then the crazee kicks in. I say leave her the hell alone.


Posted by: mpfs at April 10, 2012 02:15 PM (iYbLN)

58 Ace wrote this:

So, Ashley Judd's face is puffy.


Yet....there's more.

Posted by: tasker at April 10, 2012 02:15 PM (r2PLg)

59 Women think men love Julia Roberts.

Men never ever ever talk about Julia Roberts. Ever.

Just thought I'd throw that out there since were talking about stuff guys never ever talk about but people think we do.

Posted by: eleven at April 10, 2012 02:15 PM (KXm42)

60 All cats are gray at night, or after ten beers.

Posted by: toby928© at April 10, 2012 02:15 PM (GTbGH)

61 Geez, what's a guy gotta do to get some press on this blog???

Posted by: Rick Santorum at April 10, 2012 02:15 PM (MMC8r)

62 There is no scenario in which I vote for Mitt.
Posted by: Your Inner Voice at April 10, 2012 02:13 PM (okXo7)
--------------------------------------------------
Your vote for JEF is duly noted.

Posted by: Truck Monkey at April 10, 2012 02:15 PM (jucos)

63 Ashley's in a TV show, isn't she? I thought I saw ads for it. Some revenge thing.


Posted by: Waterhouse at April 10, 2012 02:11 PM (rND5e)

not revenge but a globe trotting rescue mission. Other than a few odd things (Judd is clueless in holding a gun and doing sweeps through a house) the show has been really good and it's always nice to see Cliff Curtis getting work

Posted by: The Dude at April 10, 2012 02:15 PM (M8yfa)

64
Sean "Puff Daddy" Combs stars in

Return to the Mean Girls' Playground

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars at April 10, 2012 02:15 PM (FcKXR)

65 Yeah, yeah, yeah -- but did Ashley have The Puffy Face Talk with her kids yet?

Posted by: Balsamic Shotgun at April 10, 2012 02:15 PM (sTS/8)

66 She's not Meryl Streep or Helen Mirren...did I miss them posing in a UK hockey jersey? I don't think I did.

****

Ms. Mirren simply gets better with age: Classy, witty, and elegant.

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at April 10, 2012 02:15 PM (piMMO)

67
Diagnosis: Puffy Face

Rx - Stop eating fat food!

Posted by: Doctor Fish at April 10, 2012 02:15 PM (TkGkA)

68 Aww ace spent all this time writing and its gonna get jacked by Santorum.

Posted by: Joffen, fucking sunshine patriot at April 10, 2012 02:15 PM (CTHok)

69 What's the matter, is she getting fat like her sister now? Time levels all mountains, honey cakes.
Mom was always the hottest anyways. Because she was more than adequate, but also because WE ALL KNOW those single moms try extra, extra hard.

Posted by: Todd Bridges, First to go bad, last to go down at April 10, 2012 02:15 PM (x60m8)

70 Finally -- a post big enough for the bottom of our luxury cage aw fowls.

Posted by: Budgies for Barry at April 10, 2012 02:15 PM (0It32)

71 Where did the puffy comments go?

Posted by: mpfs at April 10, 2012 02:15 PM (iYbLN)

72 LOL...first?

Posted by: Brian at April 10, 2012 02:15 PM (wTSvK)

73 Yeah.. I noticed her face was puffy. I saw her in the ads for her new show.. "Missing" or something like that. I thought she was just getting older.

Posted by: Chi-Town Jerry at April 10, 2012 02:16 PM (f9c2L)

74 Posted by: wheatie at April 10, 2012 02:12 PM (+5U+B)

Wait. You actually read all that.
...
...
...
I salute you.

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) SMOD 2012 at April 10, 2012 02:16 PM (8y9MW)

75 Post Withdrawn.

Posted by: toby928© at April 10, 2012 02:16 PM (GTbGH)

76 More like a cosmetic surgical condition. Ashlie belies herself as well.

Posted by: dananjcon at April 10, 2012 02:16 PM (8ieXv)

77 37 On the other hand, when the men around here make the much-too-old running joke about Sarah Jessica Parker, by all accounts a charming a decent woman, being a horse-face, it pisses me off.When it comes to men criticizing women, you're always just a reflex away from a jab a their looks.
Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at April 10, 2012 02:12 PM (piMMO)

And more importantly, she gives us tranny donkey witches a bad name.

Posted by: Transvestite Donkey Witches, UNITE! at April 10, 2012 02:16 PM (fYOZx)

78 She's not in movies or TV shows lately.

Actually, she's starring in "Missing" on ABC, started up on March 15th, which is largely what has pulled her back into the limelight.

I'm pleasantly surprised by the show. She plays a sort-of Mom version of Jason Bourne.

Posted by: VekTor at April 10, 2012 02:16 PM (N7DZ0)

79 First Puffy!

Posted by: puf the majik dragon at April 10, 2012 02:16 PM (JgPDK)

80 Google "puffy" and you don't get anybody's face. IYKWIMAITTYD.

Posted by: Roy at April 10, 2012 02:16 PM (VndSC)

81 There are times one is content with being at eternal rest. This is one of them.

Posted by: Trayvon at April 10, 2012 02:16 PM (WUWb9)

82
My guess is that she's overly sensitive about it since she was always the 'thin' sister and she doesn't want to lose that distinction.

Posted by: Dumb_Blonde at April 10, 2012 02:16 PM (GthSf)

83 Prednisone! Why didn't I think of that one?

Posted by: Meghan McCain at April 10, 2012 02:16 PM (mjR67)

84
all the comments are belong to me

Posted by: Velvet Ambition at April 10, 2012 02:16 PM (mFxQX)

85
Who broka da blog?

I blame Santorum!

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars at April 10, 2012 02:16 PM (FcKXR)

86 POSTING BUT NOT

Posted by: reason at April 10, 2012 02:17 PM (+hPIb)

87 Really, a 15,000 word essay on Ashley Judd's (whoever that is) puffy face and then you're not going to provide a pic. Gee, what am I paying you for?

Posted by: scofflawx at April 10, 2012 02:17 PM (IhBRY)

88 I have been around the various Judds...three different levels of crazy narcissism, period.

Posted by: The Undefeated Gaul at April 10, 2012 02:17 PM (ZY+lZ)

89 This post is so long it didn't even appear in the "New Comments Thingy".

When it does, I predict this will be at the bottom.

Posted by: jwb7605 at April 10, 2012 02:18 PM (Qxe/p)

90 In the supposed golden age of the Patriarchy, being the 1950s, we didn't have rags that pointed out Ashley Judd's (or her contemporary equivalent's) puffy face.






Posted by: Alec Leamas at April 10, 2012 02:18 PM (mg08E)

91 Sometimes saying nothing says a lot. This post? It says a lot, but says nothing.

Posted by: Trippy at April 10, 2012 02:18 PM (hafwJ)

92 listen up butholes

alot of guys that are dicks will making fun of a girls

like ashely judy just becuase they have a fat face

or like fucked up teeth or something but she is not

super fat like her sister so she probally stop crying about it

alot of guys wuold still bang her not me but alot of guys

she has a pretty ok ass shuould probally be happy about that

#JusticeForWaylon

Posted by: Jose Canseco's Gristle Encased Head at April 10, 2012 02:18 PM (+lsX1)

Posted by: VekTor at April 10, 2012 02:18 PM (N7DZ0)

94
As an actor and woman

Make up your mind - are an actor? If so, then you are not a woman. A woman might be an actress, but never an actor. Dumb ass.

I guess that answers my question upthread. Ashley Judd is not a prospect for the Yankees. Not as a ballplayer, anyway.

Posted by: Jay Guevara at April 10, 2012 02:19 PM (NH8EN)

95 Wow. This post is so long that the "New Comments Thingy" refuses to re-post it.

Posted by: Meiczyslaw at April 10, 2012 02:19 PM (bjRNS)

96 I had a great story told to me Saturday night...

The cheap resort at Disney World is the All-Stars Resort, which is where all the high school and college teams competing in events at Wide World of Sports stay while on property.

It gets especially amusing when the cheerleader competitions are going on, especially if scheduled at the same time as one of the women's sports.

One afternoon, one of the girl's field hockey players is walking through with her stick and runs into a group of cheerleaders:

Cheerleader - "Excuuuuuse us, dyke"

Hockey Player - "I'm sorry, did I get in the way while you were getting ready for your "sport"?"

Cheerleader - "Get out of our way, and go hang with the other dykes"

At this point the Hockey Player pours her water on her hands, then rubs them on the Cheerleader's face, smearing her makeup.

Cheerleader (crying and screaming to her friends) - "AHHHHH, OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD, THIS CAN'T BE FIXED!!!! OH MY GOD"

Heh, I was laughing so hard.

Posted by: Dave in Fla at April 10, 2012 02:20 PM (9t6jP)

97 I admit it. I got bored with Ace's rant and skipped the second half.

But his point is true. Who gives a rat's ass about Ashley Judd's puffiness?

She used to be young and pretty. She made a lot of crappy movies with her in completely unsympathetic roles.

Oh, and she's a libtard, a faux intellectual. She's not a doctor, but she played one in a film.

Posted by: Jimbo at April 10, 2012 02:20 PM (O3R/2)

98 "The thing's verbose—it goes on forever—and—oh my God—it's full of words!"

Posted by: cthulhu at April 10, 2012 02:20 PM (kaalw)

99 Is the blog gebroken?

Posted by: Jimbo at April 10, 2012 02:21 PM (O3R/2)

100
Ashley's Lament Post is gone, but not forgotten...

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars at April 10, 2012 02:21 PM (FcKXR)

101 Short Answer: Ashley has a degree in Womens Studies. (I'm not kidding, she does)

Longer Answer: ....and is a pretentious asshole.

Posted by: ktgreat at April 10, 2012 02:22 PM (TCTPY)

102 I wish the puffiness was down about a foot below my fat face.

Posted by: Ashley Judd's perky tits at April 10, 2012 02:23 PM (ccXZP)

103 Holy Crap. I didn't realize the 'Puffy Face' phenomenon was so blessed important. Glad I read this blog. At work. When I'm supposed to be working. At work.

I just hope I don't blurt out 'Puffy Face' when someone asks me a question.

Posted by: minuteman (formerly trainer) until Juggy is gone at April 10, 2012 02:23 PM (Rojyk)

104 I'm going to save this rant for my future daughters. I think you've created art ace. Great art tells us something about ourselves that is obvious and self-evident once we've seen it, but not so much before. You've done that for me. I know you've played off this theme before (women blame men for self___ problems exacerbated by women and gay men), but I'm feeling inspired and enlightened.

P.S. You bastard, you made me read that whole thing.

Posted by: bonhomme at April 10, 2012 02:23 PM (FKGw9)

105 Weird blog stuff going on.

Posted by: minuteman (formerly trainer) until Juggy is gone at April 10, 2012 02:24 PM (Rojyk)

106 I can't believe I wasted the minutes it took to read this crap. Ace. Who cares? Why write about it?

Posted by: Don at April 10, 2012 02:27 PM (NKBEE)

107 Seems like your whole premise is pretty-much fracked.

You started a wonderful diatribe about how she's beneath notice and straight men couldn't have any reason to pay attention to her because she's not in TV or movies lately:

"As a member of The Patriarchy in good standing, I did not know this. I did not know about her puffy face. Even if I had known about her puffy face, I would not have remarked on it, as Ashley Judd is not relevant enough for a guy to discuss.She's not in movies or TV shows lately.But she is relevant enough for the gossip blogs to discuss."

The thing is, the only reason she's being discussed is precisely BECAUSE she's on TV lately. The new series "Missing" started up March 15th with her in the starring role, where she plays a sort of Mom-version of Jason Bourne.

It's surprisingly good from my straight-male perspective. Some nice action sequences. The premiere picked up about 10 million viewers from what I found on the Intertubes. That's why "the Patriarchy" is talking about her, rather than just gay men and women.


Posted by: VekTor at April 10, 2012 02:31 PM (N7DZ0)

108 FOIST!

Posted by: massideas at April 10, 2012 02:39 PM (qF3P2)

109 Ashley Judd?

She's got .... a GREAT ASS!

Posted by: Vincent Hanna at April 10, 2012 02:49 PM (rND5e)

110 Is her chest and ass as puffy? Cuz, then I'd care.

Posted by: lorien1973 at April 10, 2012 02:50 PM (0tkqC)

111 I also blame the the Patriarchy for the fact that I can't act.

Posted by: Ashley Judd at April 10, 2012 02:51 PM (HqpV0)

112 I make a salve for that.

Posted by: garrett at April 10, 2012 02:51 PM (yqQnV)

113 What is that vein popping out the side of her head?

Posted by: dogfish at April 10, 2012 02:52 PM (N2yhW)

114 It is so funny when formerly-hot-but-now-puffy chicks try to pretend like they can think.

Take some water pills and get a boob job Ashley and we can get you a guest spot on "Bones" as the dead hot girl's mom.

Posted by: The Patriarchy at April 10, 2012 02:53 PM (HqpV0)

115 How about that Rick Santorum?

Posted by: Jane D'oh at April 10, 2012 02:55 PM (UOM48)

116 Anybody drop out while we were gone?

Posted by: Roy at April 10, 2012 02:55 PM (VndSC)

117 Hollywood and the entertainment industry is a hell of a place to attempt to age gracefully.

Posted by: kallisto at April 10, 2012 02:55 PM (jm/9g)

118 Who told you to use a balm!?

Posted by: Jackie Chiles at April 10, 2012 02:55 PM (yqQnV)

119 What, no pictures?

Posted by: © Sponge at April 10, 2012 02:55 PM (UK9cE)

120 At this point the Hockey Player pours her water on her hands, then rubs them on the Cheerleader's face, smearing her makeup.

+1

Posted by: Boulder Toilet Hobo at April 10, 2012 02:55 PM (QTHTd)

121 68 Aww ace spent all this time writing and its gonna get jacked by Santorum.
Posted by: Joffen, fucking sunshine patriot at April 10, 2012 02:15 PM (CTHok)



The church would frown on my jacking an ewok.

Posted by: Rick Santorum at April 10, 2012 02:56 PM (v+QvA)

122
Does this linky still access Puffy?

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars at April 10, 2012 02:56 PM (FcKXR)

123 Oh, my nose!! It's puffy!!

Marcia Brady

Posted by: mpfs, Puffer Fish Stick at April 10, 2012 02:56 PM (iYbLN)

124 okay I took out the part saying she wasn't on TV.

I didn't know she was on TV.

I am not in the Ashley Judd Demographic.

Posted by: ace at April 10, 2012 02:56 PM (nj1bB)

125 Whenever someone says the word "patriarchy", I get this ringing in my ears that covers up whatever that person is saying.
I'm thankful for that.

Posted by: Roy at April 10, 2012 02:57 PM (VndSC)

126 Well, I'm sure you fellas will see the outrage in this story!

http://huff.to/IsjvFN

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at April 10, 2012 02:57 PM (piMMO)

127 Is this where we discuss Rick Santorum?

Posted by: Mallamutt, RINO President for Life at April 10, 2012 02:57 PM (OWjjx)

128 Prednizone is some nasty shit. It also causes mental impairment in some people so I wouldn't rag on her saying something retarded while under the influence. The one time I took it I was too drain bamaged to feed myself. Felt like 19,000 feet without oxygen.

Posted by: Bob Saget at April 10, 2012 02:57 PM (SDkq3)

129 I am not in the Ashley Judd Demographic.

This is quite the compliment to Anne Althouse.

Posted by: garrett at April 10, 2012 02:57 PM (yqQnV)

130 She's always struck me as being waaaaay too pretentious.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at April 10, 2012 02:58 PM (UOM48)

131 I still fap to my Ashley Judd-in-a-Kentucky-hockey-jersey poster.

Posted by: Mister Christopher at April 10, 2012 02:58 PM (DQhAB)

132 Whenever someone says the word "patriarchy", I get this ringing in my ears that covers up whatever that person is saying.

I'm thankful for that.

****

Wasn't she raised without a father? Someone, "patriarchy" seems a bit more venomous from her.

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at April 10, 2012 02:58 PM (piMMO)

133 She's only attractive when I'm not standing next to her.

Posted by: Samantha Brick at April 10, 2012 02:58 PM (yqQnV)

134 yes, man, she was on TV. Lotsa times.

nice ta-tas, as previously noted


Posted by: SantaRosaStan at April 10, 2012 02:58 PM (Dll6b)

135 If Ace is gonna start talking about Ashley Judd now, does that mean he's gay or female? I always kinda suspected.

Posted by: JDTAY at April 10, 2012 02:58 PM (sFP59)

136 >>>128 Prednizone is some nasty shit. It also causes mental impairment in some people so I wouldn't rag on her saying something retarded while under the influence.

That explains her pro-Obama stance.

Posted by: Roy at April 10, 2012 02:59 PM (VndSC)

137 She keeps using this word, patriarchy. I do not think it means what she thinks it means.
Seriously, it's been a dacade maybe more since Ashley Judd meant more to me than "turn the page". Even before that, she was mostly a genetic curiosity vis-a-vis Wynona.
Pretty, yes. Hot, never.

Posted by: Advo at April 10, 2012 02:59 PM (BrvIC)

138 If you prick us, do we not puffy face?

by some guy named Shakes.

Posted by: mpfs, Puffer Fish Stick at April 10, 2012 02:59 PM (iYbLN)

139 There are worst things that make me cringe Ashley, yours is not even on the list. Here's a couple -
Debbie Wassermanschultz shark teeth.
Rosie O'Donnel's egg-shaped front butt.

Posted by: Ruprect at April 10, 2012 02:59 PM (vnL7t)

140
Does Ace make the following point in his post?

99% of the so-called patriarchy would still "hit it" with Ashley Judd, regardless of her puffy face. She still looks damn good.

So her issue is all in her head.

Posted by: soothsayer at April 10, 2012 02:59 PM (jUytm)

141
We doubled the number of posts to this thread after Ace took it down.

Anyone here who denies that we talk to our (individual) selves is a freakin' liar.

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars at April 10, 2012 02:59 PM (FcKXR)

142 The one time I took it I was too drain bamaged to feed myself. Felt like 19,000 feet without oxygen.

Shit made me an even bigger asshole.
I know, hard to believe.

Posted by: garrett at April 10, 2012 03:00 PM (yqQnV)

143 I know I made millions and became famous based off my youth and looks... but time + math = waahhhhhh wahhhhh wahhhhhh

Sorry live by the sword become a joke by the sword.

My wife used to read this kind of stuff a lot.. (muh less often now, and she no longer buys it) IT does make it harder to respect someone intellectually. I think most guys know their wife does this but don't talk about it. Of course where I live, I have heard the whole story about every guy whose wife discovered some porn related item something somewhere.

Speaking of, I love the WaPo thing on facebook that automatically shows what people read. Man is it funny, all these women keep getting caught. We are all lucky juggzandguns.com doesn't post what articles we read to facebook.

Posted by: Shiggz RocketSurgeon at April 10, 2012 03:00 PM (RfvTE)

144 Oh, and Ashley, HOLLYWOOD, of which is the only reason you have any MONEY, is the reason.

NOTHING ELSE. You've taken it upon yourself to have the surgeries and bullshit that you're getting pissed about "having" to do now.

The ONT has PLENTY of pictures of women back in 'the day' that were drop fucking dead gorgeous WITHOUT knives and plastic and botox.

So, LOOK TO THE TRUE SOURCE, you dizzy bitch.

Now, go fuck yourself and suck Dario's dick while you're at it.

Posted by: © Sponge at April 10, 2012 03:00 PM (UK9cE)

145 She wasn't blaming the patriarchy when she was using her good looks to get parts.

Posted by: brak at April 10, 2012 03:00 PM (nIoiW)

146
For instance, Kirstie Alley.

If any of you say wouldn't bang the stuffin outta chubby Kirstie, you're lying.

Posted by: soothsayer at April 10, 2012 03:01 PM (jUytm)

147
I suspect the steroid explanation for the puffy face is BS. When she starred in the movie Heat 17 years ago, she had the same puffy face. Then she lost the puffiness for a few years when she became a big deal in H'wood.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at April 10, 2012 03:01 PM (tQoT4)

148 Sarah Jessica Parker, by all accounts a charming a decent woman,

Seriously? Parker is a snotty entitled bitch, and everything she's in should be shown to Gitmo prisoners to pry out terrorist information.

And Ashley Judd is a windy, puffy bore. (and that new show she's in looks cosmically silly)

Posted by: UGAdawg at April 10, 2012 03:01 PM (kPeSM)

149 That was a lot of scrolling just to find out you didn't even post the Ashley Judd UK Hockey Poster. I mean, throw us a non-puffy bone here, chief.

Posted by: Bluegrass Conservative at April 10, 2012 03:01 PM (EjkX1)

150 Holy shit! That post was long. I didn't even think there would be any space left for comments, at all.

But, since we do have space ... Ashley Judd lives on her looks. So ... what does she expect?

She annoys the shit out of me. Good looking girl, but it's all downhill from there.

Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair at April 10, 2012 03:01 PM (X3lox)

151 I'd hit it.

Posted by: Righteous and Harmonious Fist at April 10, 2012 03:02 PM (GTbGH)

152 The poster.

http://tinyurl.com/cf7x6lt

Posted by: Bluegrass Conservative at April 10, 2012 03:02 PM (EjkX1)

153 Prednisone apparently has the same effect as the Kate Upton Bunny video.

Posted by: The Mega Independent at April 10, 2012 03:02 PM (dMM1R)

154 "If there is no intervention or ritualized face-saving,..." did you do that on purpose?

Posted by: p mike at April 10, 2012 03:02 PM (R9qZf)

155 I can attest to how prednizone makes a person's face puffy. I was on prednizone for my asthma back in grade school, and EVERY SINGLE school picture for three or four years has got me looking like a mini Stay-Puft Marshmallow Girl.

That said, I could give a rat's ass about Ashley Judd's puffy face. It's her lefty politics and sanctimonious attitude that aggravates me.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Hobbit and ABO Supporter at April 10, 2012 03:02 PM (4df7R)

156 If any of you say wouldn't bang the stuffin outta chubby Kirstie, you're lying.

I'll ride a moped, but I won't hit a fat oldchick.

Posted by: garrett at April 10, 2012 03:02 PM (yqQnV)

157 Hey! I'm a puffy Judd, too!

Posted by: Wynonna at April 10, 2012 03:02 PM (JgPDK)

158 Her penning a lengthy essay about patriarchy is about as believable as her being an ex secret agent who is trying to rescue her son.

Posted by: Adam Smith's Invisible Pimp Hand at April 10, 2012 03:03 PM (tKFT6)

159 "bridge, dummies"ISWYDT

Posted by: speedster1 at April 10, 2012 03:03 PM (v40Bj)

160 The Chicago Tribune posts a story with the headline that says Philadelphia radio station drops Rush Limbaugh. Then you read the article and it indicates his syndicator told the station they were dropping them to go on another station ie. Rush was dropping them, not vice versa.

Posted by: ejo at April 10, 2012 03:03 PM (slp7M)

161 Ashley Judd? I'd hit that with a condom full of antihistamines, - just the tip.

Posted by: Fritz at April 10, 2012 03:03 PM (KWdVT)

162 Ashley's upset because all her life she has been the pretty one and Wynona has been the fat one. It's sibling rivalry. Not patriarchy.

Posted by: mama winger at April 10, 2012 03:03 PM (P6QsQ)

163
Do you know who still looks good?

Debbie Boon.

Posted by: soothsayer at April 10, 2012 03:03 PM (jUytm)

164 leave the enquirer and similar publications alone. it is true that they are gossip mongers, however, they are among the few remaining practitioners of journalism.

Posted by: yankeefifth at April 10, 2012 03:03 PM (Z9EHQ)

165 She can always look forward to becoming the next Weight Watchers spokesmodel.

Posted by: Roy at April 10, 2012 03:03 PM (VndSC)

166 Puffy, the magic dragon lived by the Ashley
And frolicked in the autumn mist in a land called Honah Lee,

Little Jackie paper loved that rascal puff,

And brought him strings and sealing wax and other fancy stuff. oh




Posted by: Peter, Patriarchy and some random Chick at April 10, 2012 03:03 PM (tf9Ne)

167 Oh my God, it's full of words.

Posted by: Dave "tl,dr" Bowman at April 10, 2012 03:03 PM (5Rurq)

168 Has the name Puffygate been used yet?

'Cause if it's still in play, I might want to start using it.

Posted by: Phinn at April 10, 2012 03:03 PM (KNtHw)

169 Seriously? Parker is a snotty entitled bitch, and everything she's in
should be shown to Gitmo prisoners to pry out terrorist information.

*****

Where in the world do you get that? In 20+ years of interviews I have never seen her be less than completely charming.

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at April 10, 2012 03:04 PM (piMMO)

170 I blame celebrity narcissism and self-importance for the fact that this woman thinks that any of us give a rat's ass about her fat face.

Posted by: nerdygirl at April 10, 2012 03:04 PM (LEDVQ)

171 The title of my new book:

Women Talk About Puffy Faces.....
Men Talk About Swollen Vaginas....

Posted by: ina_ginalship at April 10, 2012 03:04 PM (pBdSH)

172 Face make woody puffy, -The Pudgerarchy.

Posted by: Jose Canseco at April 10, 2012 03:04 PM (r2PLg)

173
It's all The Man's fault that I stuff my face, nom nom nom, with Twinkies and, nom nom nom pizza.

Posted by: Meghan McCain at April 10, 2012 03:04 PM (jUytm)

174 Sorry, but a post like this needs images. Before and After, Hot Chick vs. Kinda Hot Chick, whatever.

And is my belief that a lot -- not all, but at least more than 'some'-- of what women do to look pretty they're really doing for other women (peer pressure, not in a lesbian way), or because they like it, and not for guys, at least not directly.

I mean... High heels? Guys don't care. We're not looking at your feet.

Our feet, maybe, if we're really nervous.

Posted by: Lance McCormick at April 10, 2012 03:04 PM (bp264)

175 Our local NPR affiliate carried a lengthy interview with Eve ("Vagina Monologues") Ensler on the subject of the massive rape epidemic in the Congo.

Ensler placed blame for this not on Congolese men, or Congolese culture, nor more broadly on African men or African culture, but instead claimed that it was all because of (you guessed it) THE PATRIARCHY.

As though we males all regularly sneak off into secret underground chambers where we decide en bloc to endorse and encourage such behaviors.

I have come to the point where I instantly and permanently dismiss as an intellectually substantive person anyone who routinely uses that word.

So far, that rule hasn't played me false even once.


Posted by: torquewrench at April 10, 2012 03:05 PM (ymG7s)

176 LA is famous for their Puffy Tacos.

Posted by: garrett at April 10, 2012 03:05 PM (yqQnV)

177 Great piece, Ace. Lots of good stuff in there. But, the part that brought the biggest smile to my face has to be:

<i>who gives a rat's little pink dick about</i>

I've never really thought about a rat's dick before, but I'll bet it is a little pink fucker.


Posted by: Anon Y. Mous at April 10, 2012 03:05 PM (k34Gz)

178 I'd still hit it - puffy face and sharp elbows and all.

Posted by: Mætenloch at April 10, 2012 03:05 PM (+B3Nr)

179 I dislike like Feminism, as currently conceived, primarily due to
something besides its political ramifications (which are, frankly,
minor).


Sorry, Ace, way off on this one. Feminism is 100% politics.

It's another of the identity based, Frankfurt school threads Marxism.

All politics, all the time, in every facet of life.


Posted by: HOCKEY STICK at April 10, 2012 03:05 PM (JEpGb)

180 She got work in Hollywood because she was pretty. Lots of non-pretty girls did NOT get the roles she got. In fact, most non-pretty girls self-selected out of the profession, knowing, correclty, they'd never get work.

So among the girls pretty enough to get leading roles in movies, she was judged more pretty than many, and hence prospered.

Did she mind the judgments about prettiness when it was making her millions?

All people do this, of course.

But not all people are so obnoxiously lacking in self-awareness to pontificate that it's Bad when looks are judged in a negative fashion, but okay when your looks are judged in a positive way.

Posted by: ace at April 10, 2012 03:05 PM (nj1bB)

181 I assumed the literacy rate in philadelphia was so low that the only meaningful communication tool was television since there was no way they were going to understand words without pictures.

Posted by: yankeefifth at April 10, 2012 03:05 PM (Z9EHQ)

182 Has the name Puffygate been used yet?


Posted by: Phinn at April 10, 2012 03:03 PM (KNtHw)


That's mine! Hands off.

Posted by: Puff Daddy Puffy P. Diddy Puffy Face at April 10, 2012 03:05 PM (X3lox)

183
Since I can't be perfect, nom nom nom, by your unrealistic patriarchal standards, nom nom nom, I'm gonna eat a dozen doughnuts and, nom nom nom, a gallon of fudge ripple ice cream.

Posted by: Ashley Judd at April 10, 2012 03:06 PM (jUytm)

184 Did anybody say they would hit it? Because I would hit it.

I hope that isn't objectifying.

Posted by: blaster at April 10, 2012 03:06 PM (7vSU0)

185 >>Seriously? I can't imagine the last time I thought about Ashley Judd

When CBS had their camera on on that bloviating women-hating vile scrunt instead of the basketball game I was trying to watch.

I missed Fred Hoiberg's first career technical foul.

I'm not going to forget this, CBS.

Posted by: HeatherRadish™ at April 10, 2012 03:06 PM (ZKzrr)

186
Now that'sa puffy wall of text.

Posted by: Jaws at April 10, 2012 03:06 PM (4I3Uo)

187

Super good looking women are often the most insecure about their looks.

Posted by: dan-O at April 10, 2012 03:06 PM (sWycd)

188 I first fell in love with Ashley Judd when I saw her on STTNG. Then it was great when she married a race car driver. Too bad she went nuts.

Posted by: Pete at April 10, 2012 03:06 PM (j/wD+)

189 I dislike like Feminism, as currently conceived, primarily due to
something besides its political ramifications (which are, frankly,
minor).

Sorry, Ace, way off on this one. Feminism is 100% politics.

It's another of the identity based, Frankfurt school threads Marxism.

All politics, all the time, in every facet of life.


Posted by: HOCKEY STICK at April 10, 2012 03:05 PM (JEpGb)

and, it is one of the weaker threads

Posted by: yankeefifth at April 10, 2012 03:06 PM (Z9EHQ)

190 Damn the Puffyarchy!

Posted by: Phinn at April 10, 2012 03:06 PM (KNtHw)

191 hockey stick,

I meant that feminism's actual impact on politics is minor, since they seem to spend so much time arguing about non-political stuff like "don't call me a slut" and "don't think I'm fat just because I'm fat."

Posted by: ace at April 10, 2012 03:06 PM (nj1bB)

192 I had incredible (not in a good way) bags under my eyes from being overworked most of last week. And I didn't think to blame the patriarchy when I was describing it to my friend.
(I thought it was quite hilarious, actually. ). Darn it.

Posted by: chique d'afrique (the artist formerly known as african chick) at April 10, 2012 03:06 PM (bHslY)

193 High heels? Guys don't care. We're not looking at your feet.

No.But we are looking at their legs and asses.
Which, btw, bennefit greatly from the high heels.

Posted by: garrett at April 10, 2012 03:07 PM (yqQnV)

194 Going through the minutes of the last Patriarchy meeting...not seeing the words Ashley Judd or Puffy Face anywhere.

Posted by: Aaron at April 10, 2012 03:07 PM (Tlix5)

195 Puff you.

Posted by: mpfs, Puffer Fish Stick at April 10, 2012 03:07 PM (iYbLN)

196 I would allow her to Puffy with her puffer on my puff tool.

But only if she kept her puffer closed.

Posted by: Vic at April 10, 2012 03:07 PM (YdQQY)

197 And you complain about me?

Posted by: War and Peace at April 10, 2012 03:07 PM (mFxQX)

198
I mean... High heels? Guys don't care. We're not looking at your feet.












Actually, we do care. By altering the posture, high heels do some AMAZING things to the female form.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at April 10, 2012 03:07 PM (tQoT4)

199

Because physical violence is atypical in women, it tends to remain in
the verbal cruelty phase, but also, as there is little threat of an
outbreak of violence, it can get a lot crueler than it does between men. Posted by: Ace at 02:48 PM


.


A lady friend of mine told me "Men break bones, women break spirits."

Posted by: Kinley Ardal at April 10, 2012 03:08 PM (shCoe)

200 I read somewhere that her idea of a hot night is to stay home and fap while licking whipped cream and chocolate sauce off herself

Posted by: yankeefifth at April 10, 2012 03:08 PM (Z9EHQ)

201 The new Cosmo has an article called "How to make your man all puffy in bed"

Posted by: Roy at April 10, 2012 03:08 PM (VndSC)

202 FAT BUT PUFFY

Posted by: The Mega Independent at April 10, 2012 03:08 PM (dMM1R)

203
What's the name of the movie Ace is reviewing?

Posted by: Ed Anger - Certified Kos Kid at April 10, 2012 03:08 PM (7+pP9)

204 So, just who the fuck is Ashley Judd?

Posted by: maddogg at April 10, 2012 03:08 PM (OlN4e)

205 That earth-shaking Santorum news didn't get as much attention as the McDonald's worker who claimed she lost the lottery ticket. And she had a puffy face too....

Posted by: dfbaskwill at April 10, 2012 03:09 PM (71LDo)

206 Holy shit, Ace. Do you talk this much in person? We just want to see the picture of Ashley Judd! She is hawt! Always has been. She may be a liberal, for all I know (the odds are high), but that doesn't change anything. Puffy face? Bullshit!

Posted by: Jay Bee at April 10, 2012 03:09 PM (Xwgt3)

207
I mean... High heels? Guys don't care. We're not looking at your feet.
Our feet, maybe, if we're really nervous.

Posted by: Lance McCormick at April 10, 2012 03:04 PM (bp264)
.
BLASPHEMY.

Posted by: Kinley Ardal at April 10, 2012 03:09 PM (shCoe)

208 Being able to mock puffy faced actresses was why I joined the Patriarchy, that and the rape.

Posted by: toby928© at April 10, 2012 03:09 PM (GTbGH)

209 Man, even AAPL's down today.

Posted by: Waterhouse at April 10, 2012 03:09 PM (rND5e)

210 I first fell in love with Ashley Judd when I saw her on STTNG. Then it
was great when she married a race car driver. Too bad she went nuts.

*****

It's not like the married a Nascar driver......

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at April 10, 2012 03:09 PM (piMMO)

211 194 Going through the minutes of the last Patriarchy meeting...not seeing the words Ashley Judd or Puffy Face anywhere.
Posted by: Aaron at April 10, 2012 03:07 PM (Tlix5)


Look in the web site archives - it was covered in the hawt-or-not sub-committee.

Posted by: Mætenloch at April 10, 2012 03:09 PM (+B3Nr)

212 Is Ashley Judd fat? 'Cause I'll talk about that.

Posted by: Cicero at April 10, 2012 03:09 PM (QKKT0)

213 The Judds were huge in country music long before Miss Ashley got her start in Hollyood. Naomi Judd always used to make sure she told people about her "other" daughter who "wanted to get into acting". Ashley fed off the success of her mother and sister . Wynona has always had a weight problem and Ashley has always prided herself on being "the pretty one". So now she's not. And being the pretentious Harvard grad snob that she is, she turns it into a political thing. When it's really all about the fact that now she's just like Wynona, minus the talent.

Posted by: mama winger at April 10, 2012 03:09 PM (P6QsQ)

214 I mean... High heels? Guys don't care. We're not looking at your feet.>>

High heels accentuate the Gams not the feet.

Posted by: Buzzsaw in some 40s movie at April 10, 2012 03:09 PM (tf9Ne)

215 >>>204 So, just who the fuck is Ashley Judd?

She's the least puffy of The Judds.

Posted by: Roy at April 10, 2012 03:10 PM (VndSC)

216 From the NY Daily News : "At the time, Judd's rep Cara Tripicchio slammed the reports, telling E! News that the actress' altered looks were a medical matter....caused by an ingestion of calories."

Posted by: Dr Spank at April 10, 2012 03:10 PM (Sh42X)

217
Our voices, our personhood, our potential, and our accomplishments are regularly minimized and muted.

I see no problem here, when "our" = "Ashley Judd".

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars at April 10, 2012 03:10 PM (FcKXR)

218 ...a flower only blooms once, honey.

Posted by: Stuff Grandma Said... at April 10, 2012 03:10 PM (yqQnV)

219 I don't care. Seriously, who gives a shit about what some actor (she is an actor right?) thinks about anything.

Tell me that last intelligent thing you ever heard come out of Hollywood......I mean, Good Gawd, these brilliant people thought it would be a good idea to make 5....count them 5.........Police Academy movies.

Posted by: Mallamutt, RINO President for Life at April 10, 2012 03:10 PM (OWjjx)

220 Wouldest thou hit it?

close to NSFW

http://is.gd/skCGqy

Posted by: Vic at April 10, 2012 03:10 PM (YdQQY)

221 Damn, I had a great story I had written up and posted on this thread before it went back into draft.

Not doing it again.

Posted by: Dave in Fla at April 10, 2012 03:10 PM (9t6jP)

222
Because physical violence is atypical in women, it tends to remain in the verbal cruelty phase, but also, as there is little threat of an outbreak of violence, it can get a lot crueler than it does between men.


Word that. I believe it's ATC who has said that there is nothing on earth as viscious as a thirteen-year old girl, particularly if she's part of a pack. I can personally attest to the truth of that statement. Most of us grow out of the merciless cruelty, but there's always that latent need to undercut and demean that still hovers in the back of our minds. In office situations it gets REALLY bad. That's why I prefer working with men. So long as they aren't effeminate, metrosexual types, most men are more about getting the job done than they are about bitching about how Suzy in Accounting always takes an extra half hour at lunch and leaves fifteen minutes early, but she gets to keep her job because she's friends with the sister of the daughter of the Director.

All of the above is why I try to spend my whole day at the computer with my headphones on while fiddling in Access.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Hobbit and ABO Supporter at April 10, 2012 03:11 PM (4df7R)

223 Puffyface? You mean like Rosie's front butt ?

Posted by: The Jackhole at April 10, 2012 03:11 PM (nTgAI)

224 High heels put the ass on a plate. accentuate the Gams not the feet.

Posted by: Stuff Grandma Never Said... at April 10, 2012 03:11 PM (yqQnV)

225 Puffy Face

It reads better in Old English.

Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair at April 10, 2012 03:11 PM (X3lox)

226 And, anybody with any maturity and intelligence knows that bullying has more to do with human nature than some phony partriarchy crap. Gays get bullied, girls get bullied, heterosexual boys get bullied. Romney gets bullied.
It's not a patriarchal society, we're just plain, damn mean. For instance, I think this Judd woman is a self-absorbed imbecile. So I guess I'm bullying her.

Posted by: nerdygirl at April 10, 2012 03:11 PM (LEDVQ)

227 Isn't it marvelous that Santorum dropped out?

Now quit talking about my face.

Posted by: Ashley Judd's perky tits at April 10, 2012 03:11 PM (ccXZP)

228 Ok Ace. I guess. However, I don't talk about this shit. I don't read about this shit. Hell, I don't watch TV. I consider this type of pop-culture crap so far below me (sorry to sound arrogant but I don't know how else to say it) that I can't even imagine being interested in it. I don't even know who Ashley Judd is except that I think she sang? Maybe?

My Washington lawyer husband who works all the time and who is about as unfeminine as they get calls my mother to discuss OJ, to joke about Anna Nicole Smith, or talk about Tiger Woods. You mention that pop stuff to me and you get the "hand".


So when I get on here and say women are stupid and they listen to, watch, and read stupid stuff this is what I mean. Fill up your day with pop crap and you have no time left for the supreme court or politics.

So does that make me part of the Patriarchy? I don't know if I want that. I bet it smells.

Posted by: dagny at April 10, 2012 03:11 PM (CMM9V)

229 The patriarchy took you away from cleaning your sister's fast food out of her tour bus and gave you a primo gig being a movie star. It wudden't your intellect, sweetcheeks.

Posted by: Auditor at April 10, 2012 03:11 PM (C+7E7)

230
Why do you think MAD MEN is still on the air?

It's not a good show. It's a show about how awful men are to women and men's negative impact on society in the 20th century.

Posted by: soothsayer at April 10, 2012 03:12 PM (jUytm)

231 You forgot to hat tip Perez Hilton.

Posted by: Watson at April 10, 2012 03:12 PM (kDLl+)

232 Oops. Although the Vincent Hanna pic is funny in that context too.

Posted by: Waterhouse at April 10, 2012 03:12 PM (rND5e)

233


Posted by: Vic at April 10, 2012 03:10 PM (YdQQY)

That doesn't seem very poofy-faced to me. o.o

Posted by: Kinley Ardal at April 10, 2012 03:12 PM (shCoe)

234 I think Ashley has confused herself with her sister again. Now, Wynona has a puffy face. Ashley? I have no idea. I care so little that I, also, could not be bothered to look up a picture of her. She must be facing her own Hollywood career mortality and this is just a publicity stunt to gin up interest. I'm guessing it'll be good for two Oprah and one Ellen appearance but not much else.

Posted by: slug at April 10, 2012 03:12 PM (stH2H)

235 To be fair, I thought Ashley Judd was pretty hot. So now I want to see what puffy face looks like.

Posted by: Dave in Fla at April 10, 2012 03:12 PM (9t6jP)

236 The puffy face may be from taking some type of steroid for medicinal purposes, ie: decadron, prednisone.

Posted by: madamex at April 10, 2012 03:13 PM (fk49g)

237 I'm making some hiring decisions soon and I need to know whether it violates federal law if I discriminate against puffy-faced bitches.

Posted by: Cicero at April 10, 2012 03:13 PM (QKKT0)

238 I thought I had been watching ESPN the other night but after a few hours I realized it was the E network. The content was tilted toward men and male interests I couldn't not tell it apart from ESPN.

Posted by: Shiggz RocketSurgeon at April 10, 2012 03:13 PM (RfvTE)

239 The patriarchy took you away from cleaning your
sister's fast food out of her tour bus and gave you a primo gig being a
movie star. It wudden't your intellect, sweetcheeks.


Posted by: Auditor at April 10, 2012 03:11 PM




Bingo.


But every interview she gives, she makes sure that you know she's a HAhvahd grad now.

Posted by: mama winger at April 10, 2012 03:13 PM (P6QsQ)

240 Women pretty much can have it anyway they want it anymore. A generations of women raised to be ruthless alpha males along side a generation of males brow beat into being beta males.

Posted by: Drew in MO at April 10, 2012 03:14 PM (KeFbr)

241 Thou wouldest.

Posted by: Lurking Canuck at April 10, 2012 03:14 PM (NF2Bf)

242 Does anybody really want to define and control Ashley Judd? Anyone? Anyone? Bueller?

Posted by: Cicero at April 10, 2012 03:14 PM (QKKT0)

243 Okay, so heels were a bad example. I did say 'not directly,' too.

So I'm calling my claim UNDETERMINED BUT WHATEVER.

Posted by: Lance McCormick at April 10, 2012 03:14 PM (bp264)

244 Wouldest thou hit it?

close to NSFW

****

AJ about 20 years ago??

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at April 10, 2012 03:14 PM (piMMO)

245
All of the above is why I try to spend my whole day at the computer with my headphones on while fiddling in Access.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Hobbit and ABO Supporter at April 10, 2012 03:11 PM (4df7R)


Access is going away.

Posted by: The Mega Independent at April 10, 2012 03:14 PM (dMM1R)

246 Ashley Judd has always had it out for me.

Posted by: Samantha Brick at April 10, 2012 03:15 PM (QKKT0)

247 So she had plastic surgery done and it doesn't look so good so she's finding someone else to blame for it. Is she trying to get a job in the Obama administration?

Posted by: TheQuietMan at April 10, 2012 03:15 PM (1Jaio)

248 207

I mean... High heels? Guys don't care. We're not looking at your feet.

Our feet, maybe, if we're really nervous.



Posted by: Lance McCormick at April 10, 2012 03:04 PM (bp264)
.
BLASPHEMY.


Posted by: Kinley Ardal at April 10, 2012 03:09 PM (shCoe)

Hey, there are two things going on here.1) Heels make you walk with a sway, you move your butt around... we like that.2) Heels make you taller, which makes it harder to look down your shirt, and makes us look less impressive by comparison... we don't like that.Save yourself hundreds or even thousands of dollars; and learn to walk with your butt moving around in comfortable flats (or whatever you call regular shoes, I think I've heard "flats" before).
This money/time/face saving tip brought to you by a misogynistic member of the Patriarchy... one who can't really recall who the hell Ashley Judd is. Of course it's been like 4 years since I've even seen a TV commercial so I don't know who a lot of people are.

Posted by: gekkobear at April 10, 2012 03:15 PM (X0NX1)

249
I don't remember Ashley being concerned about "The Conversation" all the years she was deemed the "pretty and thin" Judd sister.

Posted by: Dumb_Blonde at April 10, 2012 03:15 PM (GthSf)

250 Nah. It's because Don Draper is hot and outrageously sexy in a very masculine/hard way and he doesn't talk after sex or want you to meet his friends. Swear.

Posted by: dagny at April 10, 2012 03:15 PM (CMM9V)

251
Does she have puffy nips? that's what I want to know, or does she have those little rock hard nublets...I prefer the marshmallow puffy nips myself.

This is where I respect Alec Baldwin, he's not afraid to mince words about dried up old urine smelling hags...well, he does rip on pre-teen girls, but that's his family business.

Posted by: Rev Dr E Buzz Bunny at April 10, 2012 03:15 PM (tcSZb)

252 You'll be hearing from our lawyer, Gloria Allred, haters.

Posted by: Puffy-faced Washed Up Actress Liberation Front at April 10, 2012 03:15 PM (NH8EN)

253
Wouldest thou hit it?
Like someone said a few days ago I would hit it for so long that whoever pulled me off would be crowned king

Posted by: War and Peace at April 10, 2012 03:15 PM (mFxQX)

254 I hate to say this in light of his actions last week, but 'The Flounder' by Gunter Grass is a great commentary on the modern feminist and the patriarchy.
Buy it used. It's worth the read.

Posted by: garrett at April 10, 2012 03:15 PM (yqQnV)

255 Wow, ace.
You really put a lot of thought into this, didn't you?

Posted by: antisocialist at April 10, 2012 03:15 PM (j/nZn)

256 But every interview she gives, she makes sure that you know she's a HAhvahd grad now.
Posted by: mama winger at April 10, 2012 03:13 PM (P6QsQ)

maybe she and soledad obrien could work on a way to reingratiate themselves to the patriarchy

Posted by: yankeefifth at April 10, 2012 03:16 PM (Z9EHQ)

257 223 Puffyface? You mean like Rosie's front butt ?

Don't forgit that it's egg-shaped Mr. Jackhole,---- egg-shaped

Posted by: Ruprect at April 10, 2012 03:16 PM (vnL7t)

258 And the site now won't let me use the WYSIWYG formatting and italics of olden days. NoScript isn't even blocking anything but it's still not happy. Poop.

Posted by: gekkobear at April 10, 2012 03:16 PM (X0NX1)

259 alt headline

Souring Milk has breakdown/tantorum blames cow

Posted by: Shiggz RocketSurgeon at April 10, 2012 03:16 PM (RfvTE)

260 33 Um Santorum is dropping out and we get a mile long post on Ashley Freaking I Posed Topless Judd??!!
---------------------------------------------

Oh why the hell not. Our economy, culture, and dominance is circling the bowl and it's too damn depressing to think about my 401k and declining home value.

Now, I don't trust a woman who bashes men, but wants me to believe her "exempt" husband is getting blow jobs and back rubs every mornIng. Bullshit!

Posted by: Killjoy at April 10, 2012 03:16 PM (mkcRx)

261
180.....Did she mind the judgments about prettiness when it was making her millions?


Posted by: ace at April 10, 2012 03:05 PM (nj1bB)


No. She didn't. .....But then liberal Hollywood people use a different scale for their own hypocrisy levels....versus the one they use for everyone else.

Posted by: wheatie at April 10, 2012 03:17 PM (+5U+B)

262 Diane Sawyer is puffy faced but that's the booze puffiness.

Posted by: mpfs, Puffer Fish Stick at April 10, 2012 03:17 PM (iYbLN)

263 Jim DeMint caused Ashley Judd's puffy face. Look it up...its true.

Posted by: Alvin Greene at April 10, 2012 03:17 PM (OWjjx)

264 Who is this "Patriarchy" and what are they doing stepping on our turf?

Posted by: The Illuminati at April 10, 2012 03:17 PM (QKKT0)

265 >>When it's really all about the fact that now she's just like Wynona, minus the talent.

I almost felt sorry for the spoiled brat for a half-second there, except she hates all of us conservative non-women and our un-enthusiasm for killing poor brown babies.

Posted by: HeatherRadish™ at April 10, 2012 03:17 PM (ZKzrr)

266 Ashley Judd became dead to me when she preached at the coal miners of her native West Virginia about the awful, terrible process of mountain top removal coal mining, and how they shouldn't do it.

The West Virginians weren't happy.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Hobbit and ABO Supporter at April 10, 2012 03:17 PM (4df7R)

267 It's not a good show. It's a show about how awful men are to women and men's negative impact on society in the 20th century.


*****

It is an OUTSTANDING show. Just because it shows some of the ugly truths from the era doesn't mean it's a man-hating show. Those characters are not one-dimensional.

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at April 10, 2012 03:17 PM (piMMO)

268 would hit it? maybe, but I would not hit her nearly as hard as obamanomics has.

Posted by: yankeefifth at April 10, 2012 03:17 PM (Z9EHQ)

269 Fun piece, Ace.
If women want less of the catty gossip game, they need to look within themselves -- is there some more socially-positive manner by which the primal, pre-pubescent urge to assert social dominance can be satisfied? Like something competitive, but not cruelly so -- I don't know, like a nice game of Bridge? (Before any feminists whine that I'm suggesting something horrible -- I love bridge, dummies. I'm giving you a recommendation, not an insult.)
Are we even allowed to suggest women have innate problems to overcome that go beyond not loving themselves as much as they deserve?
Anyway, maybe you and Ashley can sit down with some dice and bag on Lolth for awhile instead, and get the primal gossip spirits appeased thusly.

Posted by: Randy M at April 10, 2012 03:17 PM (vI8R6)

270 Gah. When you sign up for a job that is all about appearances, you can't really bitch about how people criticize your appearance. But if you simply can't help yourself, at least call out the right critics.

Posted by: jenny tries too hard at April 10, 2012 03:17 PM (snRY5)

271 Wynona has talent dripping out of every pore of her (rather large) body. That woman can sing. The other two are parasites that have virtually lived off of her for years. They are one messed up family.

Posted by: mama winger at April 10, 2012 03:17 PM (P6QsQ)

272 Gawd she's boring. Come back and chat when you have an actual problem to discuss, Ashley.

Posted by: shinypie at April 10, 2012 03:17 PM (Kz85k)

273 If no one else did, I liked it.

Posted by: Dianna at April 10, 2012 03:18 PM (DV/Ik)

274
Help me out here ---

First there was the lamentations of the "Don't hate me because I'm beautiful" British stunner.

Then there was the pedantic whining of the "Some celebrity saved me from becoming a traffic pancake and I'm pretentiously serious, not a ditz" egoist.

And now we're being treated to the polysyllabic screechings of the "The Patriarchy is poking fun at my puffy face and keeping me down" washed-up actress.

When did April become the "Ladies, Air Your Grievances Month"?


Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars at April 10, 2012 03:18 PM (FcKXR)

275 Say what you will about Jamie Lee Curtis that lady was business smart and rather then living in denial jumped on the ageing bandwagon while still young enough to sexy it up a bit and turned it into cold hard cash.

Gotta respect.

Posted by: Shiggz RocketSurgeon at April 10, 2012 03:18 PM (RfvTE)

276 I thought it was a fine post! And her face does look puffy and come to think of it so does Lohan. Maybe puffy is the new sexy.

Posted by: Brian at April 10, 2012 03:18 PM (UnMRd)

277 47 Why did she go into acting if she didn't want people looking at her?
*
*
Scored it in one, sir. A very good question to ask. Maybe because she couldn't sing as well as her mom and sister?

I've checked out "Missing," and I can say she convinces me as an ex-CIA female Jason Bourne. Not like the level of hilarity occasioned by Rachel Bilson trying to convince us she's a surgeon, for godssake.

Sure, her face looks a little puffy. I put it down to her being, yanno, 44. She's not trying to play a 20-year-old, she's playing a woman with a college-age son.

But that "This is what a feminist looks like" T-shirt attitude of hers . . . not hot, not MILFy.

From now on, when some feminista yaps about how others are yapping about her appearance, I'll simply quote Ace and say, "Straight men don't do that. Talk to your 'sisters' about it. Done."

Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius at April 10, 2012 03:18 PM (exvgC)

278 Okay, I just saw this on twitter, and though I'd ask here.

The Red Hot Chili Peppers are, apparently, putting on a "free" concert for some Obama campaign staff.

Now, I have an idea how much it costs to put on a concert. I also know that if I were to do something like write a mobile-app for the Romney campaign, that would be considered an "In Kind" donation, and I'm pretty sure that would count against any contributions I could make to the campaign.

If I'm right about that last part, how are the RHCP not violating the campaign contribution limit?

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) SMOD 2012 at April 10, 2012 03:18 PM (8y9MW)

279 Who is this "Patriarchy" and what are they doing stepping on our turf?

Why do you care? You all work for me, anyway.

Posted by: Sekrit Sikh at April 10, 2012 03:18 PM (yqQnV)

280 A+ Ace, your well on your way towards earning that mythical Gender Studies - Male Masters Degree.

Posted by: Jean at April 10, 2012 03:18 PM (WkuV6)

281 Diane Sawyer drinks?

Posted by: Velvet Ambition at April 10, 2012 03:18 PM (mFxQX)

282 She's got a PUFFY ASS !!!!!

Posted by: Al Pacino at April 10, 2012 03:18 PM (Y+DPZ)

283 We just want to see the picture of Ashley Judd! She
is hawt! Always has been. She may be a liberal, for all I know (the
odds are high), but that doesn't change anything. Puffy face? Bullshit!


Posted by: Jay Bee at April 10, 2012 03:09 PM


Oh, my yes, she's a liberal.
http://www.moonbattery.com/ashley-judd.jpg

Posted by: huerfano at April 10, 2012 03:18 PM (bAGA/)

284 Posted by: gekkobear at April 10, 2012 03:15 PM (X0NX1)

Flat heels simply do not replicate the taut, toned look of a nice pair of legs atop stiletto heels. This is truth that you may take to the bank.


Posted by: Kinley Ardal at April 10, 2012 03:18 PM (shCoe)

285 I went to IMDB to see what Judd had been in, only to realize that not only have I not seen most of these movies, in my mind I was seeing Winona Ryder.

I am so out of touch.

Posted by: toby928© at April 10, 2012 03:18 PM (GTbGH)

286 Nice post.

Posted by: rdbrewer at April 10, 2012 03:19 PM (Iyg03)

287 She only thinks she's being victimized by The Patriarchy. Our job here is nearly complete.

Posted by: The Circus at April 10, 2012 03:19 PM (QKKT0)

288 Like someone said a few days ago I would hit it for so long that whoever pulled me off would be crowned king


****

OMG

I laughed until I started choking.

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at April 10, 2012 03:19 PM (piMMO)

289 Flat heels simply do not replicate the taut, toned look of a nice pair of legs atop stiletto heels. This is truth that you may take to the bank.


Posted by: Kinley Ardal at April 10, 2012 03:18 PM (shCoe)

I always assumed she was more round heeled.

Posted by: yankeefifth at April 10, 2012 03:19 PM (Z9EHQ)

290 The only part of Ashley Judd that I care about has been badly abused by gravity.

Posted by: Max Entropy at April 10, 2012 03:19 PM (XTzOk)

291
She's a subject for controversy not because her face got puffy, but because people suspect she's suffering the adverse effects of disfiguring herself with dermal fillers.

There's a great deal of schadenfreudeinwatching someone narcissistic and attractiveturn themselves into a freak.

Posted by: La Mauvaise New Yorkaise at April 10, 2012 03:19 PM (8uZ8A)

292 Holy crap, at first I thought this was another movie review by Ace. Then it was about women talking shit about other women.

Fuck that!!!

I come here for the smart military blog I know, not some tabloid bullshit about puffy women being puffy in the wrong places.

Posted by: EC at April 10, 2012 03:19 PM (GQ8sn)

293 Ive known broke unmarried aging people in wheelchairs whom I never once heard bitch about their hardships... Ms Ashley Judd here goes from 9 to an aged 8 and has a complete meltdown.

I would never wish money and fame on anyone I care about.

Posted by: Shiggz RocketSurgeon at April 10, 2012 03:20 PM (RfvTE)

294 Very well said, Ace. Thanks.

Posted by: MrShad at April 10, 2012 03:20 PM (Xqfwb)

295 I invite Ashley to internalize my Patriarchy.

Posted by: Will Folkes at April 10, 2012 03:20 PM (QKKT0)

296 WhenI first learned of Ashley's puffy face I was lurking the UK Mail, they have all the tawdry pics of scantily clad starlettsromping on the beach and partyingthe night away. Oh to be young dumb and full of cum.
***
**Sigh**

Posted by: Susan Serandon's inner monologue edited due to time restraints at April 10, 2012 03:20 PM (8ieXv)

297 This is how screwed up that family is. When they tour, their psychiatrist tours with them.

Posted by: mama winger at April 10, 2012 03:20 PM (P6QsQ)

298 Diane Sawyer drinks?

Drinking is so passe.

Posted by: Diane Sawyer for Captain OB Rum Infused Tampons at April 10, 2012 03:20 PM (yqQnV)

299 That whole not having the same name as other people in your family is annoying in a Charlie Sheen/EmelioEstevez sort of way.

Posted by: dagny at April 10, 2012 03:20 PM (CMM9V)

300 When did April become the "Ladies, Air Your Grievances Month"?

Did you see the March jobs numbers?

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) SMOD 2012 at April 10, 2012 03:21 PM (8y9MW)

301 White man in
Gainesville, Florida is jumped by a group of blacks shouting “Trayvon,”
who beat him up for five minutes and disfigure him

Posted by: Amnation.com at April 10, 2012 03:21 PM (Dll6b)

302 Ace brought the puffy here!!!!

Posted by: EC at April 10, 2012 03:21 PM (GQ8sn)

303 Do this mean its wrong to be catty about Meghan (I'm Not Fat, I'm Puffy) McCain?

Cause that would be just wrong.

Posted by: mpfs, Puffer Fish Stick at April 10, 2012 03:21 PM (iYbLN)

304 Maybe if she's this sensitive about comments about her personal appearance she shouldn't have picked a career that puts her on camera.

Posted by: nerdygirl at April 10, 2012 03:22 PM (LEDVQ)

305 So does that make me part of the Patriarchy? I don't know if I want that. I bet it smells.


Posted by: dagny at April 10, 2012 03:11 PM (CMM9V
I'd guess you're right. Probably itches, too.I've never understood the fascination other females have with this or that celebrity's enhanced nose/boobs/ass/(your favorite body part here). I figure, it's their money, so whatever makes them happy. I'd rather dish about politicians, myself.

Posted by: antisocialist at April 10, 2012 03:22 PM (j/nZn)

306 I'd hit that... Again!

Posted by: Wesley Crusher at April 10, 2012 03:22 PM (XTzOk)

307 Say what you will about Jamie Lee Curtis that lady was business smart
and rather then living in denial jumped on the ageing bandwagon while
still young enough to sexy it up a bit and turned it into cold hard
cash.


*****

While the idiots who tried to pump their faces full of fillers to fight aging now have what is also referred to as "puffy face." It seems that your face will only tolerate so much toxic shit being pumped in before it rebels.

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at April 10, 2012 03:22 PM (piMMO)

308 White man in
Gainesville, Florida is jumped by a group of blacks shouting “Trayvon,”
who beat him up for five minutes and disfigure him
Posted by: Amnation.com at April 10, 2012 03:21 PM (Dll6b)

after being captured the thugs admitted using only name because they could not remember his last name.

Posted by: yankeefifth at April 10, 2012 03:22 PM (Z9EHQ)

309 174 . . . I mean... High heels? Guys don't care. We're not looking at your feet.
*
*
Speak for yourself.

Posted by: Al Bundy, Shoe Salesman of the Year at April 10, 2012 03:22 PM (exvgC)

310 @41 "There is no scenario in which I vote for Mitt."

Really? Not even the scenario where your vote for Mitt would deny Obama the election?

Your principalitiness makes me all aquiverry.

Posted by: Troll Feeder at April 10, 2012 03:22 PM (1JXlC)

311 White man in

Gainesville, Florida is jumped by a group of blacks shouting “Trayvon,”

who beat him up for five minutes and disfigure him

Posted by: Amnation.com



Was it puffy disfigurement or non-puffy disfigurement?

Posted by: mpfs, Puffer Fish Stick at April 10, 2012 03:22 PM (iYbLN)

312 Is her response any different then when reality exposed Obama as an empty suit and his lefty followers could only screach "racist America trying to stop him!"

Posted by: Shiggz RocketSurgeon at April 10, 2012 03:23 PM (RfvTE)

313
Kathy Bates just called Ashley and said, "STFU, dunce."

Posted by: soothsayer at April 10, 2012 03:23 PM (jUytm)

314 Diane sawyer ever stops drinking?

Posted by: yankeefifth at April 10, 2012 03:23 PM (Z9EHQ)

315 Pssssst, Ashley honey - "The Patriarchy" doesn't really care what your face looks like, as long as you have big boobs......

Posted by: Teresa in Fort Worth, TX at April 10, 2012 03:23 PM (0xqzf)

316 I'm not puffy! I'm big boned!

Posted by: Eric Cartman at April 10, 2012 03:24 PM (piMMO)

317 Ay carumba! I should have taken that job offer of managing the Dodgers, out there they give you a raise for showing love to Castro

Posted by: Al Pacino at April 10, 2012 03:24 PM (Y+DPZ)

318 Ay carumba! I should have taken that job offer of managing the Dodgers,
out there they give you a raise for showing love to Castro

Posted by: Ozzie Guillen at April 10, 2012 03:24 PM (Y+DPZ)

319 Diane sawyer ever stops drinking?




fluuuuuuck noooooooooooossss.

Posted by: Diane Sawyer at April 10, 2012 03:24 PM (iYbLN)

320 Sounds like Ashley might have some daddy issues.

Posted by: Killjoy at April 10, 2012 03:24 PM (mkcRx)

321 but because people suspect she's suffering the adverse effects of disfiguring herself with dermal fillers.>>

I would tend to think it's this also. In her closeups in Missing it was the bumpiness (something is off look) of her face I noticed not puffiness. And even that was fleeting and passed of as age by me.

Posted by: Buzzsaw at April 10, 2012 03:24 PM (tf9Ne)

322 Was it puffy disfigurement or non-puffy disfigurement?


*****

Think. Then comment.

Posted by: Eric Cartman at April 10, 2012 03:24 PM (piMMO)

323 322


Puff you.

Posted by: Diane Sawyer at April 10, 2012 03:25 PM (iYbLN)

324 When did April become the "Ladies, Air Your Grievances Month"?


Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars at April 10, 2012 03:18 PM (FcKXR)

Well, not the whole month. Just the next 5-7 days.

Posted by: jenny tries too hard at April 10, 2012 03:25 PM (snRY5)

325 I am guessing, I have no proof, she attended one of those illegal pumping parties to fix her lack of ass, fell asleep having had too much to drink and the pumper put the filler in the wrong end. understandable mistake.

Posted by: yankeefifth at April 10, 2012 03:25 PM (Z9EHQ)

326 Ashley Judd in Puffy: The Patriarchy Slayer

Posted by: TheQuietMan at April 10, 2012 03:25 PM (1Jaio)

327 Think. Then comment.

Hold your tongue.

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) SMOD 2012 at April 10, 2012 03:25 PM (8y9MW)

328 Remember when Ashley lashed out at everyone who cracked jokes about her sister Winona's weight?

Neither do I

Posted by: kbdabear at April 10, 2012 03:25 PM (Y+DPZ)

329
Just remember Kathy Bates in the jacuzzi scene in ABOUT SCHMIDT.

She took off her robe and her breasts looked like they were right outta the pages of National Geographic.

Kathy Bates didn't care. She played her character like a professional.

Posted by: soothsayer at April 10, 2012 03:25 PM (jUytm)

330 >>"The Patriarchy" doesn't really care what your face looks like, as long as you have big boobs......

Sadly, untrue.

Posted by: HeatherRadish™ at April 10, 2012 03:26 PM (ZKzrr)

331 As a straight male I could not even tell you what Ashley Judd looks like.

Nor could I really tell you what Christina Aguilera looks like, there was something on the cover of one of the checkout-rack tabloids that could have been her, or it could have just been a large inflatable doll, I don't know and don't care.

Megan Fox? Better, but still meh. I really don't care.



Posted by: JEM at April 10, 2012 03:26 PM (o+SC1)

332 This seems like a movie that I'll skip.

Posted by: t-bird at April 10, 2012 03:26 PM (FcR7P)

333 I do find it odd however that a woman that chooses Show Business is hollering because what sold her initially (cuteness )has faded as many of our looks do,as if she didn't know that.

shrug.

Posted by: willow at April 10, 2012 03:26 PM (TomZ9)

334
That whole not having the same name as other people in your family is annoying in a Charlie Sheen/EmelioEstevez sort of way.



Yeah, that's pretentious shit.

Posted by: Nicholas Cage at April 10, 2012 03:26 PM (NH8EN)

335 Sounds like Ashley might have some daddy issues.

Posted by: Killjoy at April 10, 2012 03:24 PM





There's a lot of ugly daddy issues in the family.

Posted by: mama winger at April 10, 2012 03:26 PM (P6QsQ)

336 Finish her.

Posted by: The Patriarchy at April 10, 2012 03:27 PM (QKKT0)

337 194 Going through the minutes of the last Patriarchy meeting...not seeing the words Ashley Judd or Puffy Face anywhere.
Posted by: Aaron at April 10, 2012 03:07 PM (Tlix5)


Who's bringing the snacks for our next meeting? I signed up to bring the beer.

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars at April 10, 2012 03:27 PM (FcKXR)

338
“We do believe that the crime was racially motivated,” Gainesville Police Department spokeswoman Cpl. Angelina Valuri said.
The assailants were black, while the victim is white, Valuri said.
She
said the victim had been drinking and could not provide a description
of the attackers or their vehicle, only that it was a mid-size vehicle.
But Valuri said his injuries were consistent with being jumped by a group.
During
what he told police was a five-minute beating, he sustained injuries to
the left eye, abrasions to his palms and a cut on his right kneecap,
and Valuri said he would likely have “permanent disfigurement to the
left side of his face.”

Posted by: Amnation.com at April 10, 2012 03:27 PM (Dll6b)

339 Just remember Kathy Bates in the jacuzzi scene in ABOUT SCHMIDT.

Now I'm glad I never saw that movie. And you owe me about a barrel of brain-bleach.

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) SMOD 2012 at April 10, 2012 03:27 PM (8y9MW)

340 Excepting my mom, my daughter, and the moronettes (no exceptions for cat piss, though), I hate other women. Especially the pissy über-feminist type women who blame all their problems, real or imagined, on the freaking "patriarchy." I want to slap them and scream at the to grow the hell up already, but since that's not likely to change anything I consider it a waste of my time and just do the best I can to ignore them.

Posted by: Mandy P. voted and is All Dead Inside now at April 10, 2012 03:27 PM (qFpRI)

341 Well, she does look puffy. Bloated. Like maybe she needs to be a little more regular. I may have just the yogurt you need, Ashley!

Posted by: Jamie Lee Curtis at April 10, 2012 03:27 PM (snRY5)

342 Hold your tongue.

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) SMOD 2012 at April 10, 2012 03:25 PM (8y9MW)


Bu' den I can unny type wiv un hand.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Hobbit and ABO Supporter at April 10, 2012 03:27 PM (4df7R)

343 Ashley writes for the Daily Beast?

She and Meggie Mac can throw themselves a nice big pity party and cry over the catty things the gay staffers say about their puffy parts

Posted by: kbdabear at April 10, 2012 03:27 PM (Y+DPZ)

344
174 . . . I mean... High heels? Guys don't care. We're not looking at your feet.

High heels put a woman's body in the 'presentation posture' that is most advantageous to mounting from the rear. .....Not sure if this was as side effect, or the original intent.

Posted by: wheatie at April 10, 2012 03:28 PM (+5U+B)

345 342

Bwahahahahaha.

Posted by: Diane Sawyer at April 10, 2012 03:28 PM (iYbLN)

346 Son just got back from Disney World Band Trip. High School boys being High School Boys they spend most of their week trying to skeeve kisses out of like minded High School Girls. He comes home and it turns out that the young lady my son had received quite a few kisses from that week was on ESPN cheer competition from The Disney World Resort. The boy about fell over when he saw her on TV.

Posted by: Truck Monkey at April 10, 2012 03:28 PM (jucos)

347 So now everyone who was wondering where Ace has been now knows he was working on his Ashley Opus. Great work, Ace! Now, go take a nap..

Posted by: Chi-Town Jerry at April 10, 2012 03:28 PM (f9c2L)

348 if you are looking for the reference to her in the minutes from the most recent meeting it is in the line "fugu"

Posted by: yankeefifth at April 10, 2012 03:28 PM (Z9EHQ)

349 "I mean... High heels? Guys don't care. We're not looking at your feet. "

High heels aren't to make your feet look good. They make your butt look good and they make you look a bit taller and leaner.

If you were a gay stylist, you'd know that, Lance.

Posted by: nerdygirl at April 10, 2012 03:28 PM (LEDVQ)

350 338

Put it in another thread please.

Posted by: Diane Sawyer at April 10, 2012 03:29 PM (iYbLN)

351 Hold your tongue.

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) SMOD 2012 at April 10, 2012 03:25 PM (8y9MW)


Every time I try that, my typing ability goes to hell in a handbasket.

Posted by: jwb7605 at April 10, 2012 03:29 PM (Qxe/p)

352 Not sure if this was as side effect, or the original intent.

Side effect. But nice bonus. The original intent was highlighting the legs.

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) SMOD 2012 at April 10, 2012 03:29 PM (8y9MW)

353 "It's not like the married a Nascar driver......"
Franchitti DID race NASCAR for Chip Ganassi Racing, competing until mid-2008 when his team shut down

Posted by: Pete at April 10, 2012 03:29 PM (j/wD+)

354 Between Ashley, Katy "I'm Tired of Being Famous" Perry, and Ozzie Guillen, they should put a big poster on their walls;

"Just because you CAN say something doesn't mean you SHOULD"

Posted by: kbdabear at April 10, 2012 03:29 PM (Y+DPZ)

355 uh, laying across my lap heels do not matter as much as you might think.

Posted by: yankeefifth at April 10, 2012 03:30 PM (Z9EHQ)

356 174 . . . I mean... High heels? Guys don't care. We're not looking at your feet.

High heels are for the legs. And they do a woman's legs good.

Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair at April 10, 2012 03:30 PM (X3lox)

357 I've heard the name before, and by googling her image I now know I could have ben in the same room and still not known who the hell she is. But an (un)safe image search shows that I would in fact hit that. Puffy face and all.

Posted by: Jimmah at April 10, 2012 03:30 PM (UpwlP)

358 You mean men don't care about Oprah or Rosie O's looks, weight, or fashion sense?

That can't possibly be true they are huge (in more than one way) stars.

Posted by: ADK46er at April 10, 2012 03:30 PM (A5urV)

359 Nor could I really tell you what Christina Aguilera looks like, there
was something on the cover of one of the checkout-rack tabloids that
could have been her, or it could have just been a large inflatable doll,
I don't know and don't care.


******

Here she is! http://vevo.ly/rl7JVf

Posted by: Eric Cartman at April 10, 2012 03:31 PM (piMMO)

360 So, I gather we can't make comments about Christina Hendricks puffy tits anymore without sounding ghey?

Posted by: Soona at April 10, 2012 03:31 PM (7hN3J)

361 I like women in general,probably more so than men , i relate , but i don't relate well to women that don't defend women living under sharia, like N.O.W. but will scream bloody murder (unfair)if a cross word is said to her about her puffiness.

Posted by: willow at April 10, 2012 03:31 PM (TomZ9)

362 Franchitti DID race NASCAR for Chip Ganassi Racing, competing until mid-2008 when his team shut down


****

I have learned something today.

Posted by: Eric Cartman at April 10, 2012 03:32 PM (piMMO)

363 Judging by the people Talking Tina Brown has hired to write for her ditzy website, I think it's safe to assume that you won't see any of her writers at a MENSA Meet-Up

Posted by: kbdabear at April 10, 2012 03:32 PM (Y+DPZ)

364
While we're ripping on this femininefascination with social hierarchy, what about the Academy Awards? I mean, who gives a rat's ass?

I once had a female co-worker ask me if I'd watched the Academy Awards the previous night.

"No. Did I win anything?"

"No."

"Then why would I care?"

End of discussion.

Posted by: Jay Guevara at April 10, 2012 03:32 PM (NH8EN)

365 So, I gather we can't make comments about Christina Hendricks puffy tits anymore without sounding ghey?

Perish the thought.

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) SMOD 2012 at April 10, 2012 03:32 PM (8y9MW)

366 I see ace is still upset at seeing Kiss The Girls and not getting what he expected from Ashley in that movie.

Posted by: Dr Spank at April 10, 2012 03:32 PM (Sh42X)

367 He comes home and it turns out that the young lady my son had received
quite a few kisses from that week was on ESPN cheer competition from The
Disney World Resort. The boy about fell over when he saw her on TV.



Hehe...I bet he was all "I HIT THAT!!!!"

Posted by: EC at April 10, 2012 03:32 PM (GQ8sn)

368 That's one really long, long entry over something as benign as a puffy face.

Posted by: Sticky Wicket at April 10, 2012 03:33 PM (L7hol)

369 The "Matriarchy" has a lot more and consolidated power then the old disorganized patriarchy ever did.

Posted by: Shiggz RocketSurgeon at April 10, 2012 03:33 PM (RfvTE)

370 "But not all people are so obnoxiously lacking in self-awareness to pontificate that it's Bad when looks are judged in a negative fashion, but okay when your looks are judged in a positive way. "

I wonder how many of these poor, put upon female actors have used their good looks to go after some other woman's boyfriend or husband.

Posted by: nerdygirl at April 10, 2012 03:33 PM (LEDVQ)

371 Soona, they are certainly puffy, any words said best be with care. for instance" although Hendricks breasts are Puffy i adore them. and would like to hep soothe them."

Posted by: willow at April 10, 2012 03:33 PM (TomZ9)

372 Do you know who's part of The Paternity?

UK head basketball coach John Calipari.

And do you know who's a big fan of UK basketball and John Calipari?

Ashley Judd.

Posted by: John P. Squibob at April 10, 2012 03:33 PM (PNs4G)

373

Why am I getting blamed for Ashley Judd getting old?

Posted by: soothsayer at April 10, 2012 03:33 PM (jUytm)

374 So, I gather we can't make comments about Christina Hendricks puffy tits anymore without sounding ghey?

Tits are definitely excluded from the rule. So comment away, manly fellow.

Posted by: Cicero at April 10, 2012 03:34 PM (QKKT0)

375 Posted by: willow at April 10, 2012 03:33 PM (TomZ9)

Am I the only moron who wants to see pics of this?

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) SMOD 2012 at April 10, 2012 03:34 PM (8y9MW)

376 350, why, its a puffy face

Posted by: Jean at April 10, 2012 03:34 PM (WkuV6)

377 Good point, maybe she could be more multicultural and tolerant by wearing a Burka then nobody would notice her puffy face.

Posted by: Shiggz RocketSurgeon at April 10, 2012 03:34 PM (RfvTE)

378 If there's a Patriarchy running everything for men's benefit, then brother, are they doing a $#!++y job of it...

Posted by: Brother Cavil, in Cylon hell at April 10, 2012 03:35 PM (GBXon)

379
"Nietzsche is not remembered for the aphorism: '"I'm big and I'm beautiful, maybe you just can't handle a full-figured woman!!!'"
---actually, I think that's from, "Twilight of the Idols", either that or "10 Days to a Better Moustache!"

"The great philosophies are supremely not about identifying an external boogeyman and blaming all of "society's" ills on that boogeyman."
---um,...except Marxism.

Posted by: LexisTexas at April 10, 2012 03:35 PM (HToXb)

380 I'm trying to remember the last movie I watched that featured Ashley Judd.

Double Jeopardy maybe?

Clearly it's the Patriarchy in me bashing her in such a manner though.

Maybe if she wants to fight the male Patriarchy judging her face, she should get naked more.

Posted by: Hollowpoint at April 10, 2012 03:35 PM (SY2Kh)

381 368 That's one really long, long entry over something as benign as a puffy face.
*
*
It's really about the childishness -- nay, insanity -- of radical "You go, Grrrrl!" feminism.

Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius at April 10, 2012 03:36 PM (exvgC)

382 Was just thinking the other day is Heather Graham in diapers yet? Nature is a cruel bitch.

Posted by: Shiggz RocketSurgeon at April 10, 2012 03:36 PM (RfvTE)

383 I'm sick of feminism and talking about women. The old ladies who started feminism just won't let it go. You either perform or you don't, you compete with the guys and win or you don't. You don't talk about it so much that people turn you off. And, Ashly Judd does have a fat face and she's obnoxious.

And if Chris Christie doesn't shed some weight he's going to be facing real problems with his health. Why isn't anyone telling him this. They should refuse to sell him the size 60 portly suit until he takes care of himself.

Posted by: dally at April 10, 2012 03:36 PM (oZfic)

384 "Super good looking women are often the most insecure about their looks.

Posted by: dan-O"

There was a line about that on "Mad Men", something like, "The juiciest gazelles are the easiest to bring down."

Posted by: nerdygirl at April 10, 2012 03:36 PM (LEDVQ)

385
If there's a Patriarchy running everything for men's benefit, then brother, are they doing a $#!++y job of it...

Hey, collections have been way down.

Posted by: The Patriarchy at April 10, 2012 03:36 PM (QKKT0)

386 >>The original intent was highlighting the legs.

Which is why men used to wear them in the 17th century, with their hose and short pants.

Posted by: HeatherRadish™ at April 10, 2012 03:36 PM (ZKzrr)

387
If you're wondering if President George W Bush will be helpful in this year's election, the answer is yes.

Helpful for Obama, that is.

http://tinyurl.com/bwx5jov

Posted by: soothsayer at April 10, 2012 03:37 PM (jUytm)

388

Did she get her face mistakenly inflated at the gas station?

Those damn white men!


Posted by: Rev Dr E Buzz Bunny at April 10, 2012 03:37 PM (tcSZb)

389 Just remember Kathy Bates in the jacuzzi scene in ABOUT SCHMIDT.

*****

One of the bravest things ever done on film!

Posted by: Eric Cartman at April 10, 2012 03:37 PM (piMMO)

390 This post gave me a boner and then Ashley Judd's puffy face killed said boner.

Posted by: booger : misogynist patriarch at April 10, 2012 03:37 PM (HI6wa)

391 Which is why men used to wear them in the 17th century, with their hose and short pants.


Posted by: HeatherRadish™ at April 10, 2012 03:36 PM (ZKzrr)


The hair poking through the stockings kind of ruined that craze.

Posted by: Cicero at April 10, 2012 03:37 PM (QKKT0)

392 256 But every interview she gives, she makes sure that you know she's a HAhvahd grad now. Posted by: mama winger at April 10, 2012 03:13 PM (P6QsQ) **************

Figures. Her prose is stilted and turgid. She probably didn't learn that at the University of Kentucky.

Ashley is yet more proof (as if any more were needed) that a degree from Harvard is not worth the paper it's printed on.

Posted by: Perfesser Baraka at April 10, 2012 03:37 PM (WvS06)

393 I just googled "Puffy face" Ashley Judd will be the queen of puffy face web searches for a long, long, long time.

Posted by: The Pitt at April 10, 2012 03:38 PM (7lbXY)

394 "I know this is a cruel thing, but men's cruelty really consists of saying nothing at all, doesn't it?"

TWO SNAPS UP

Posted by: Antoine Merriweather at April 10, 2012 03:38 PM (RurGt)

395 No, its mpfs who forgot to remove the sock.


Can we just have one fucking thread without the Tray on Martin bullshit seeping in? Please?

Posted by: mpfs at April 10, 2012 03:38 PM (JVn3R)

396 Which is why men used to wear them in the 17th century, with their hose and short pants.

Actually, yes.

What, fashion can't change?

Long floppy shoes (like elves are often depicted wearing) were once the height of fashion- they showed off how much money you had (since you could afford to waste money on all that extra fabric- and the servants to clean them).

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) SMOD 2012 at April 10, 2012 03:38 PM (8y9MW)

397 They should refuse to sell him the size 60 portly suit until he takes care of himself.


Posted by: dally at April 10, 2012 03:36 PM (oZfic)





We should refuse to let you post here until you ......
Oh heck, we should just refuse to let you post here period.

Posted by: mama winger at April 10, 2012 03:39 PM (P6QsQ)

398 Mandy P, I'm with you. I've mentioned in the past that I'm borderline misogynist because so many members of my own gender piss me the hell off. I hold off on actually dubbing myself a misogynist because, when you get right down to it, a lot of members of BOTH genders piss me the hell off. I'm equal opportunity in that regard. Now if they can prove to me that they're someone worthy of my respect and attention,great; they've got it. But I'm not going to just GIVE my respect to someone because they happen to have/not have a Y chromosome. That's just plain stupid.

What I find really frustrating is that I'm a chick, so I like to indulge in chick things: stupid romantic plotlines in movies or TV shows, pretty floral motifs on my bedclothes, etc. But I also like guy things: football, action movies, military history, yadda, yadda. Do you think I can find anyone of either gender who shares my both-gender interests? Noooo. ARRGH.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Hobbit and ABO Supporter at April 10, 2012 03:39 PM (4df7R)

399 They had high heeled boots for women long before you could see their legs. The bustle was also a butt enhancer. I think it was purposeful and not a side-effect. Like lipstick---hello

Posted by: dagny at April 10, 2012 03:39 PM (CMM9V)

400 "As a member of The Patriarchy in good standing, I did not know this. I did not know about her puffy face. Even if I had known about her puffy face, I would not have remarked on it, as Ashley Judd is not relevant enough for a guy to discuss."


This is why I love men.
(Well, one reason...)

Posted by: LASue at April 10, 2012 03:39 PM (I1icO)

401 >>What, fashion can't change?

Who said otherwise?

I was just wondering what y'all's legs look like.

Posted by: HeatherRadish™ at April 10, 2012 03:40 PM (ZKzrr)

402
Notice how Andrea "I look like F Murray Abraham" Mitchell cut off Bush right after he said it wasn't right to undermine the president.

That's for our benefit. The implication is No One should speak ill of Obama -- Republican George Bush even said so.

Posted by: soothsayer at April 10, 2012 03:40 PM (jUytm)

403 Was just thinking the other day is Heather Graham in diapers yet? Nature is a cruel bitch.

****

Not quite dead, yet.

http://bit.ly/I01r4E

Posted by: Eric Cartman at April 10, 2012 03:40 PM (piMMO)

404 Hehe...I bet he was all "I HIT THAT!!!!"
Posted by: EC at April 10, 2012 03:32 PM (GQ8sn)
-------------------------------------------------------
The boy has great taste. He is a pretty good looking kid himself. He doesn't realize, nor will I tell him, what he could actually hit if he wanted to.

Posted by: Truck Monkey at April 10, 2012 03:40 PM (jucos)

405 Yeah, I'm not really a leg man.

There are few things more awesome than some nice cleavage, and most of those are still rack-related.

To each their own.

Posted by: Lance McCormick at April 10, 2012 03:40 PM (bp264)

406 I was just wondering what y'all's legs look like.

I'll see if I can find a picture of myself in Ren-Faire garb.

I'm not responsible for any blindness, however.

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) SMOD 2012 at April 10, 2012 03:41 PM (8y9MW)

407 I pretty much agreed with you until you said: "Men don't have The Conversation about most women."

Um, I see that "conversation" being held by men on this blog on a near daily basis. I constantly witness a total Mean Girl evisceration or hyper-analysis of women's looks by the men on this blog--and other blogs. Granted, I will say you guys don't seem to go off looking for targets. But as soon as a woman appears in a relevant story, you all scamper through links looking for her picture. And whether she's butt-ugly or fuck-worthy, she gets the same over examination.

And, honestly, this subject needed a post? Ashley Judd has been spouting feminist psychobabble for years. Every interview with her goes the "please, PLEASE notice I went to Harvard and am way smarter than you" route. Old news.

Posted by: GT TG at April 10, 2012 03:41 PM (PLGXq)

408
Posted by: dally at April 10, 2012 03:36 PM (oZfic)


You and self awareness do not occupy the same plane of existence.

Posted by: buzzion at April 10, 2012 03:42 PM (GULKT)

409 Long floppy shoes (like elves are often depicted wearing) were once the height of fashion->>>

Have you seen the long toe cowboy boot craze in Mexico? LMAO

Posted by: Buzzsaw at April 10, 2012 03:42 PM (tf9Ne)

410 heather i have great legs chtty breasts .

Posted by: willow at April 10, 2012 03:42 PM (TomZ9)

411 ew ew ew ew ew ew just googled puffy face! Nowonder people find it distracting? Man its like light burn victim awful.

Do women realize that shit looks alot alot worse then a WRINKLE! We like wrinkles.. our balls are full of them... we love our balls.

Posted by: Shiggz RocketSurgeon at April 10, 2012 03:42 PM (RfvTE)

412 Posted by: GT TG at April 10, 2012 03:41 PM (PLGXq)

I don't know why megan mcshame doesn't interview ashly for them to commiserate, they are two peas in a pod, as gram would say.

Posted by: dally at April 10, 2012 03:42 PM (oZfic)

413 Have you seen the long toe cowboy boot craze in Mexico? LMAO

No, I haven't. Something tells me that I'm glad that I haven't.

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) SMOD 2012 at April 10, 2012 03:43 PM (8y9MW)

414 Soona, they are certainly puffy, any words said best be with care. for instance" although Hendricks breasts are Puffy i adore them. and would like to hep soothe them."
Posted by: willow at April 10, 2012 03:33 PM (TomZ9)

--------------------------------------------

Ah. That's good willow. I'll try to remember that. Yes, I only want to help you, Christine. *looks inward*

Posted by: Soona at April 10, 2012 03:43 PM (7hN3J)

415 No outrage? Nothing about the crime committed at 126?

Posted by: Eric Cartman at April 10, 2012 03:43 PM (piMMO)

416 398 *waves*

I have little in common with other women. In fact, I was laughing last week when my mother was projecting her interests on me. I will shop, decorate, and find out what is new and in so that I can have it for an event so as to not embarass myself or my family. I am no more interested in your new pumps than I am what you expect me to feed you for dinner or how clean my bathroom is. I can fake it, but I find it tiresome.

Posted by: dagny at April 10, 2012 03:44 PM (CMM9V)

417 I would hit it if I were still around. Repeatedly.

Posted by: Zombie Trayvon Martin at April 10, 2012 03:44 PM (jucos)

418 Soona,

see. heck even i would fall for that if i had puffy breasts.

Posted by: willow at April 10, 2012 03:44 PM (TomZ9)

419 Link to story about Mexican long toe cowboy boots

http://tinyurl.com/blpfbta

Posted by: Buzzsaw at April 10, 2012 03:44 PM (tf9Ne)

420
372
Do you know who's part of The Paternity?


UK head basketball coach John Calipari.


And do you know who's a big fan of UK basketball and John Calipari?


Ashley Judd.
Posted by: John P. Squibob at April 10, 2012 03:33 PM (PNs4G)


Yeah, all those suits he wears are a dead giveaway. (cue, "You're Havin' Mah Baby").

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars at April 10, 2012 03:45 PM (FcKXR)

421
251 Does she have puffy nips? that's what I want to know, or does she have those little rock hard nublets...I prefer the marshmallow puffy nips myself.This is where I respect Alec Baldwin, he's not afraid to mince words about dried up old urine smelling hags...well, he does rip on pre-teen girls, but that's his family business.
Posted by: Rev Dr E Buzz Bunny at April 10, 2012 03:15 PM (tcSZb)


I believe you can check out her nips in "Double Jeopardy"

Posted by: buzzion at April 10, 2012 03:45 PM (GULKT)

422 jealous of hendricks.

waaah!

Posted by: willow at April 10, 2012 03:45 PM (TomZ9)

423 I just googled "Puffy face" Ashley Judd will be the queen of puffy face web searches for a long, long, long time.
Posted by: The Pitt at April 10, 2012 03:38 PM (7lbXY) ------Try a search after dropping the "face" part of the search term. Not bad. Not bad at'all. Now I have to go erase some history.

Posted by: Jimmah at April 10, 2012 03:45 PM (UpwlP)

424 I like that she claims she doesn't ever give much thought to what people write about her because she's above all that, don't you know.

Posted by: Montjoie at April 10, 2012 03:45 PM (sBpR/)

425 I don't know why megan mcshame doesn't interview ashly for them to commiserate, they are two peas in a pod, as gram would say.


Posted by: dally at April 10, 2012 03:42 PM





Gram would say grow up and stop bothering people.

Posted by: mama winger at April 10, 2012 03:45 PM (P6QsQ)

426 >>419
Link to story about Mexican long toe cowboy boots



I'm outraged!

Posted by: Dr Spank at April 10, 2012 03:45 PM (Sh42X)

427 Link to story about Mexican long toe cowboy boots

Holy Crap! That's frickin' hilarious.

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) SMOD 2012 at April 10, 2012 03:45 PM (8y9MW)

428 #407
Harvard? I thought it was Kentucky. Pi Phi or Kappa. Not sure why I would even know that . Too many gossip magazines, I guess.

Posted by: LASue at April 10, 2012 03:46 PM (I1icO)

429 Just guessing Ashley does not have a teenage daughter.

Posted by: AndrewsDad at April 10, 2012 03:46 PM (C2//T)

430 Look Ashley it is just a simple matter of putting a paper bag over your face. Used to do it all the time in college, and why did it take 300 plus comments for the paper bag to come up? And you call yourselves Morons.

Posted by: Picric at April 10, 2012 03:46 PM (lst5B)

431 I can't believe how badly Ashley Judd dominates the "puffy face" search results. There must be ten different (not AP copies of each other) articles devoted to it on the first results page.

While Rome burns...

Posted by: t-bird at April 10, 2012 03:47 PM (FcR7P)

432 The worst thing you can do to a woman having a tantrum - ignore her.

Posted by: SFGoth at April 10, 2012 03:48 PM (dZ756)

433 Link to story about Mexican long toe cowboy boots

That is frikkin' hilarious. They are practically skis.

Posted by: Truck Monkey at April 10, 2012 03:48 PM (jucos)

434 i would like to see men try to walk fast in those boots.

Posted by: willow at April 10, 2012 03:48 PM (TomZ9)

435 "Why do you think MAD MEN is still on the air?

It's not a good show. It's a show about how awful men are to women and men's negative impact on society in the 20th century. "

I've mentioned this on this blog before. My sister in law's father was in advertising. She got a degree in art and she considered going into advertising. He talked her out of it. According to her father it really is that sleazy, in that, they are unethical, but also in the way they behave in their personal lives. He did NOT want her working in that industry.

I don't like the way the show, like most shows promotes the liberal agenda on issues like guns and Romney, but I believe the show is a pretty accurate reflection of what went on in the past, and perhaps still goes on. And it isn't just the men on the show who have politically incorrect attitudes about gays and minorities. The women characters are just as bigoted, and often very intolerant of each other.

Posted by: nerdygirl at April 10, 2012 03:48 PM (LEDVQ)

436 No, I haven't. Something tells me that I'm glad that I haven't.
Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) SMOD 2012 at April 10, 2012 03:43 PM (8y9MW)

It's actually an interesting little fad. I know know how anyone could walk in these things without tripping.

http://oddculture.com/weird-stuff/long-mexican-pointy-boots-fad/

I know in Japan for a while the fashion was for men to wearpainfully pointy-toed shoes. They looked so uncomfortable! I don't know if that's still the fashion over there, but I hope not. Women's shoes over here went through a similar fad around teh same time, but thank God that seems to have come to an end. I don't know why anyone would want to walk around wearing shoes that would put a wicked witch to shame.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Hobbit and ABO Supporter at April 10, 2012 03:48 PM (4df7R)

Posted by: Jose Canseco at April 10, 2012 03:49 PM (r2PLg)

438 If someone asks me to name one of her movies on instinct all I can mutter out is 'Morgan Freeman'.

Posted by: laceyunderalls really wants her own Empire at April 10, 2012 03:49 PM (pLTLS)

439 Newt Gingrich has puffies. Big huge ones. Big. Huge. Ones.

Posted by: Jimmah at April 10, 2012 03:49 PM (UpwlP)

440

Italics suck. *pout*

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Hobbit and ABO Supporter at April 10, 2012 03:49 PM (4df7R)

441
meanwhile, at the Hall of Doom...

So what's our next diversion?

Let's drag out Amnesty again. It will not only distract the stupid Republicans, it will split the party!

Posted by: the Obama 2012 War Room at April 10, 2012 03:49 PM (jUytm)

442 If someone asks me to name one of her movies on instinct all I can mutter out is

Wasn't Point of No Return one of hers?

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) SMOD 2012 at April 10, 2012 03:50 PM (8y9MW)

443 Have you seen the long toe cowboy boot craze in Mexico? LMAO

Long years ago, I heard those referred to as "Puerto Rican fence climbing boots"

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars at April 10, 2012 03:50 PM (FcKXR)

444 Thanks Jose!

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Hobbit and ABO Supporter at April 10, 2012 03:50 PM (4df7R)

445 I think those mexican cowboy boots are horrible! can you imagine how they mutilate themselves to fit into those boots!

Posted by: yankeefifth at April 10, 2012 03:50 PM (Z9EHQ)

446 Ill say this for racists, aging is another area where Asians are genetically superior over the rest of us.

Posted by: Shiggz RocketSurgeon at April 10, 2012 03:50 PM (RfvTE)

447 I don't recommend doing the search for "puffy" on ImageF*P

Posted by: Jean at April 10, 2012 03:51 PM (WkuV6)

448 Wasn't Point of No Return one of hers?


Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) SMOD 2012 at April 10, 2012 03:50 PM (8y9MW)



That was Bridget Fonda.

Posted by: EC at April 10, 2012 03:51 PM (GQ8sn)

449 The only Ashley Judd movie I've ever seen is Someone Like You, and I only like it for the Hugh Jackman factor. *dreamy sigh* I spent most of the movie wishing Ashley's character would just fall out a window and get run over by a bus.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Hobbit and ABO Supporter at April 10, 2012 03:51 PM (4df7R)

450 I thought it was Kentucky. Pi Phi or Kappa. Not sure why I would even know that . Too many gossip magazines, I guess.
Posted by: LASue at April 10, 2012 03:46 PM (I1icO)

I am sure it was some manipedi school.

Posted by: yankeefifth at April 10, 2012 03:52 PM (Z9EHQ)

451 >>Just guessing Ashley does not have a teenage daughter.

I know you'll all be shocked to learn a strident member of the "moar aborshunz!" lobby is childless.

Her sister has a daughter, though.

Posted by: HeatherRadish™ at April 10, 2012 03:52 PM (ZKzrr)

452 That was Bridget Fonda.

Shows what I know, I guess.

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) SMOD 2012 at April 10, 2012 03:52 PM (8y9MW)

453 Ill say this for racists, aging is another area where Asians are genetically superior over the rest of us.
Posted by: Shiggz RocketSurgeon at April 10, 2012 03:50 PM (RfvTE)
----------------------------------------------------------
Twue

Posted by: Margaret Cho's Mom at April 10, 2012 03:52 PM (jucos)

454 The bustle was also a butt enhancer. I think it was purposeful and not a side-effect. Like lipstick---hello


Posted by: dagny at April 10, 2012 03:39 PM (CMM9V)
----------------------------

But that is what put slu-foot Sue on the moon causing coyotes to howl at the moon.
http://is.gd/TlMHaO

Posted by: Vic at April 10, 2012 03:52 PM (YdQQY)

455 The worst thing you can do to a woman having a tantrum - ignore her.
Posted by: SFGoth at April 10, 2012 03:48 PM (dZ756)

--------------------------------------

Yes. Double yes. I learned that the hard way very early in life.

Posted by: Soona at April 10, 2012 03:52 PM (7hN3J)

456 When I consider great philosophical movements, I do not conceive them as primarily concerned with "getting people to stop talking smack about me."
Nietzsche is not remembered for the aphorism: "I'm big and I'm beautiful, maybe you just can't handle a full-figured woman!!!"

---------------------

Kudos, sir. I'm amazed at the way such a cheap, silly, and absurd issue has been used to craft such a finely designed critique. You have turned lead into gold.
I'm just finishing up the 'Great Courses' lecture seriestitled Great Minds of the Western Intellectual Tradition. It's 80-odd CDs long. You know how many great female philosophical thinkers there have been? It's easy to guess, of course. The number is zero. Of all cultures on Earth, Western Man has given women more chances to be great than any other. Yet what results are there?

Posted by: Reactionary at April 10, 2012 03:53 PM (xUM1Q)

457 -428

Yes, I think she has some bullshit Master's degree from Harvard -- because Ivy League schools have some kind of affirmative action program for celebrities. The UK stuff must have been earlier in life.

Posted by: GT TG at April 10, 2012 03:53 PM (PLGXq)

458 not Winona Ryder. All this time.

Posted by: toby928© at April 10, 2012 03:53 PM (GTbGH)

459 Wasn't Point of No Return one of hers?

^^^

Morgan Freeman

Posted by: laceyunderalls really wants her own Empire at April 10, 2012 03:53 PM (pLTLS)

460 At least her career wasn't ruined by a Puffy Shirt!

Posted by: George Costanza at April 10, 2012 03:53 PM (Y+DPZ)

461 What happened in VA polling today for CAC to move VA to the right?

Posted by: Jean at April 10, 2012 03:54 PM (WkuV6)

462 Patriarchy Meetings, Fox News, and Koch Brothers message coordinating.. man.. If It wasn't for all the insider deals, monthly benefits and $$$ I would say being right wing just isn't worth all the time.

Just last month, after my Koch bros meeting they barely had time to take me to the lexus dealership to pick up my new assigned car before I had to floor it through the (secret open patriarchy lane) to Fox News headquarters to receive my secret briefings on the evidence roll outs of Obama being a muslim.

Posted by: Shiggz RocketSurgeon at April 10, 2012 03:54 PM (RfvTE)

463
Anybody know why the Senate is slipping further away from us?

Besides Mitch McConnell, I mean.

Posted by: soothsayer at April 10, 2012 03:55 PM (jUytm)

464 Ill say this for racists, aging is another area where Asians are genetically superior over the rest of us.
Posted by: Shiggz RocketSurgeon at April 10, 2012 03:50 PM (RfvTE)

-----------------

Meh. From what I've seen it can be a mixed bag. I think it depends on what kind they are. But if genetic superiority is what you're after, half-asians are hard to beat.

Posted by: Reactionary at April 10, 2012 03:55 PM (xUM1Q)

465 461 What happened in VA polling today for CAC to move VA to the right?
Posted by: Jean at April 10, 2012 03:54 PM (WkuV6)

*************

Damn...didn't notice --off to go check.

Posted by: Jose Canseco at April 10, 2012 03:55 PM (r2PLg)

466 Really? We're going to hit 500 comments on a post about how vapid Ashley Judd is?

And I know Ace can't be working too hard on a new post; the snark is coming a little to fast over on twitter.

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) SMOD 2012 at April 10, 2012 03:55 PM (8y9MW)

467 You know how many great female philosophical thinkers there have been? It's easy to guess, of course. The number is zero. Of all cultures on Earth, Western Man has given women more chances to be great than any other. Yet what results are there?

Simone de Beauvoir (if you want to count Sartre as a philosopher, you'll have to count her).

Posted by: garrett at April 10, 2012 03:56 PM (yqQnV)

468 No reply, can't read my Puffy Face,

My p-p-puffy face, my p-puffy face!

Posted by: Lady Gaga at April 10, 2012 03:56 PM (Y+DPZ)

469 The worst thing you can do to a woman having a tantrum - ignore her. Posted by: SFGoth at April 10, 2012 03:48 PM (dZ756)
--------------------------------------
Yes. Double yes. I learned that the hard way very early in life.

Posted by: Soona at April 10, 2012 03:52 PM (7hN3J)

------------------------------------------------------

AND, as an addendum, if they're in the middle of a tantrum and they suddenly become quiet........be afraid. Be very afraid.

Posted by: Soona at April 10, 2012 03:56 PM (7hN3J)

470 Ashley Judd circa Eye of the Beholder was a-smokin hot, even if her character in the film was systematically offing the "Patriarchy".

Posted by: Chairman LMAO at April 10, 2012 03:56 PM (eHjV7)

471 I have something for Ashley's face.

Posted by: Minnfidel at April 10, 2012 03:56 PM (gvO4Z)

472 Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Hobbit and ABO Supporter at April 10, 2012 03:39 PM (4df7R)

I'm right there with you. And to be perfectly honest, most women I come across don't take to me anyway because I refuse to sit around and do the gossip thing. I even have to walk away from the little old ladies at church from time to time. Once mass is over and they've stopped talking about the homily things inevitably move on to discussing "that woman" who wore something inappropriate or too much make-up or whatever. Stupid, petty stuff. I have no time or patience for it.

Men can be stupid, too, of course. But the thing I've noticed is that men tend to do stupid things for the benefit of women and women tend to do stupid things for the benefit of women as well.

Posted by: Mandy P. voted and is All Dead Inside now at April 10, 2012 03:56 PM (qFpRI)

473 I have little in common with other women. In fact, I was laughing last week when my mother was projecting her interests on me. I will shop, decorate, and find out what is new and in so that I can have it for an event so as to not embarass myself or my family. I am no more interested in your new pumps than I am what you expect me to feed you for dinner or how clean my bathroom is. I can fake it, but I find it tiresome.
Posted by: dagny at April 10, 2012 03:44 PM (CMM9V)


*clinging to dagny* OH THANK GOD. Another one!

My mother drives me crazy with this. She's constantly -- and I'm not exaggerating -- rearranging her knicknacks and other decorations, and she'll drag me around to show me her latest arrangement of candles in the spare bedroom, and I'm like, "Oh, yes, very nice. Lovely. Please let me go. Please." The same goes for when she gets a haircut, wears a new outfit, or gets a new pair of glasses (as just happened). I feel like the stereotypical boyfriend who doesn't notice his girlfriend's new haircut.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Hobbit and ABO Supporter at April 10, 2012 03:56 PM (4df7R)

474 Ashley Judd: Person of Puffy.

Posted by: Moronicus at April 10, 2012 03:56 PM (h3LiI)

475 There a numerous 40-something actresses who are beautiful 40-something women. They are not, however, beautiful 20-something women.

I get irritated as a person attacks someone's looks instead of that person's comments, behavior, whatever. I am not impressed with Mrs. Obama, but I really dislike attacks on her appearance rather than her inanity.

Posted by: goddessoftheclassroom at April 10, 2012 03:57 PM (pW1NV)

476 Wasn't Point of No Return one of hers?

Brian Dennehy was great in that.

Posted by: garrett at April 10, 2012 03:57 PM (yqQnV)

477 Can we revoke Ace's mancard?

fucking depressing.

Posted by: nip at April 10, 2012 03:57 PM (Is/K9)

478 Sorry I'm late guys...I've been searching all day for a welcoming, safe environment where "just us guys" can come to talk about Ashley Judd's Puffy Face.

Posted by: memorymachine at April 10, 2012 03:57 PM (K6vIj)

479 I always use susan b anthouny dollars at strip clubs to offset the objectification of women. if a stripper is working hard enough they stick to em

Posted by: yankeefifth at April 10, 2012 03:57 PM (Z9EHQ)

480 Of all cultures on Earth, Western Man has given women more chances to be great than any other. Yet what results are there?
>>

Marie Curie.

Posted by: Buzzsaw at April 10, 2012 03:58 PM (tf9Ne)

481 Stupid, petty stuff. I have no time or patience for it.

I can't remember the exact chapter and verse, but there is one that says, more-or-less, that God hates a gossip. I wonder what they would do if you memorized that verse and quoted it to them when they started that.

One thing I hate is gossip- especially vapid, mean gossip.

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) SMOD 2012 at April 10, 2012 03:58 PM (8y9MW)

482 Ok, dagny and MWR...go grab a table in the corner and we'll get back to you in a couple of hours.

Posted by: EC at April 10, 2012 03:58 PM (GQ8sn)

483 438
If someone asks me to name one of her movies on instinct all I can mutter out is 'Morgan Freeman'.

*
*
Huh. My first reaction is to mutter, "Morgan Fairchild"!

Who, by the way, is older than Ashley, still looks great, and you don't catch her grumbling about how some mythical 'patriarchy" focuses only on her looks.

Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius at April 10, 2012 03:58 PM (exvgC)

484 Can we revoke Ace's mancard?
Ewoks don't get Man Cards. They have no pockets to keep them in.

Posted by: garrett at April 10, 2012 03:58 PM (yqQnV)

485 I'm so confused. Is Wynonna Judd not the same as winonna ryder who is also the sister of ashley judd. I thought it was all one family.

Posted by: dagny at April 10, 2012 03:59 PM (CMM9V)

486 Stupid, petty stuff. I have no time or patience for it.

I can't remember the exact chapter and verse, but there is one that says, more-or-less, that God hates a gossip. I wonder what they would do if you memorized that verse and quoted it to them when they started that.

One thing I hate is gossip- especially vapid, mean gossip.
Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) SMOD 2012 at April 10, 2012 03:58 PM (8y9MW)

well, if you were omniscient you might be less interested as well.

Posted by: yankeefifth at April 10, 2012 03:59 PM (Z9EHQ)

487 476
Wasn't Point of No Return one of hers?



Brian Dennehy was great in that.

Posted by: garrett at April 10, 2012 03:57 PM (yqQnV)


Goddammit, not that meme again.

Posted by: EC at April 10, 2012 03:59 PM (GQ8sn)

488
The only reason I knew Ashley Judd apparently was being bashed about a puffy face is becase it crawled across a screen crawl on some news station saying she was complaining about people bashing her. My guess is this is all an attempt to stay relevent. She's fading, so she finds some post somewhere about her and goes on the warpath about it, getting her valuable screen crawl time she otherwise wouldn't have had. (And look, AoSHQ time she also wouldn't have had.
No press is bad press and all that. (FWIW, I didn't know she was on TV right now. All I saw as "Ashley Judd upset over critique of 'puffy face' or somethng. I assumed it was delayed news from the Oscars.)

Posted by: tsrblke at April 10, 2012 03:59 PM (SYrwI)

489
Virginia


Roanoke College 3/26 - 4/5 (537 RV)

Obama- 41%

Romney- 46%

Romney +5

Posted by: tasker at April 10, 2012 04:00 PM (r2PLg)

490 Oh....I'm suin this bitch!

Posted by: Sean Puffy Face Combs at April 10, 2012 04:00 PM (8ieXv)

491 I have a dream, where all the comments we have all half typed then delete without posting appear all in one thread and NBC runs them all during its "news" show.

Posted by: Shiggz RocketSurgeon at April 10, 2012 04:01 PM (RfvTE)

492 Posted by: tasker at April 10, 2012 04:00 PM (r2PLg)

How do the internals look?

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) SMOD 2012 at April 10, 2012 04:01 PM (8y9MW)

493 I dislike like Feminism, as currently conceived, primarily due to
something besides its political ramifications (which are, frankly, minor



I could not disagree more that the ramifications are minor. Feminism has been one of the drives behind destroying marriage. It is one of the main reasons for the decline of education in this country. Those two things have created the fertile ground for the socialist havoc that we see now.

Posted by: kdny at April 10, 2012 04:01 PM (63qg4)

494 Tasker, ahhh

Posted by: Jean at April 10, 2012 04:02 PM (WkuV6)

495 >>My guess is this is all an attempt to stay relevent.

Has she done anything in the past five years besides hijack the camera at races and basketball games, and bash conservative women?

Posted by: HeatherRadish™ at April 10, 2012 04:02 PM (ZKzrr)

496 Simone de Beauvoir
---------------------


LOL. Just Binged her. Her great contribution is "feminist existentialism."


I rest my case.

Posted by: Reactionary at April 10, 2012 04:02 PM (xUM1Q)

497 You know how many great female philosophical thinkers there have been? It's easy to guess, of course. The number is zero.

Old math joke:

A famous mathematician was asked if there were any great women mathematicians. He replied, "Well ... there are two, but one's not a mathematician and the other's not a woman."

Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair at April 10, 2012 04:03 PM (X3lox)

498 Why is this person even relevant?

Posted by: Nevergiveup at April 10, 2012 04:03 PM (i6RpT)

499 I am not impressed with Mrs. Obama, but I really dislike attacks on her appearance rather than her inanity.

Posted by: goddessoftheclassroom at April 10, 2012 03:57 PM (pW1NV)
I'm kinda with you on this. I have spoken of Michelle's rear once , after she made those unthoughtful comment about her daughter's weight. (she's fat)i really dislike her for her believing she has the right to tell others what they should eat, or her general intrusion into others personal lifestyles.

Posted by: willow at April 10, 2012 04:03 PM (TomZ9)

500 Has she done anything in the past five years besides
hijack the camera at races and basketball games, and bash conservative
women?


Posted by: HeatherRadish™ at April 10, 2012 04:02 PM (ZKzrr)


She has a new show.
It sucks.

Posted by: EC at April 10, 2012 04:03 PM (GQ8sn)

501 Harvard? I thought it was Kentucky. Pi Phi or
Kappa. Not sure why I would even know that . Too many gossip magazines,
I guess.

Posted by: LASue at April 10, 2012 03:46 PM (I1icO)


During March Madness she was forever being interviewed with the Kentucky fans wearing blue and white; often at the expense of action on the court (thanks a fucking lot CBS). Maybe she was doing too much partying with them afterward which has her so bloated. Or maybe she's not aging too well which has her so pissy.

Posted by: Captain Hate at April 10, 2012 04:03 PM (ilxis)

502 Get back to work serfs! Pay taxes to pay for our next vacation! LOL! We love living in the WH! Mom's mom lives there too - @ your expense!

Posted by: Malia in DC at April 10, 2012 04:03 PM (c3mby)

503 Good, I was beginning to doubt that Ace was still up to his old standard of incredibly long and rambling posts.

That was 2,900 words Ace. See if you can hit 3,000 next time.

Must have trained as a lawyer. Wow, if only I could be that windy, maybe I'd have a blog, too.

Posted by: Arms Merchant at April 10, 2012 04:04 PM (+XVQe)

504 The worst thing you can do to a woman having a tantrum - ignore her. Posted by: SFGoth at April 10, 2012 03:48 PM (dZ756) --------------------------------------
Yes. Double yes. I learned that the hard way very early in life. Posted by: Soona at April 10, 2012 03:52 PM (7hN3J) ------------------------------------------------------
AND, as an addendum, if they're in the middle of a tantrum and they suddenly become quiet........be afraid. Be very afraid.

Posted by: Soona at April 10, 2012 03:56 PM (7hN3J)

>>>>

I did not know this. I am divorced.

Perhaps these two statements are not unrelated? Perhaps.

Posted by: Count de Monet at April 10, 2012 04:04 PM (4q5tP)

505 "Three year olds instinctively know to blame Invisible Cookie Thieves for stealing the cookie."

We bide our time...

Posted by: Invisible Cookie NINJAS at April 10, 2012 04:04 PM (q/kmn)

506 Link to the Roanoke poll: http://roanoke.edu/Documents/rcpoll/March.April.2012%20freqs.V2.pdf

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Hobbit and ABO Supporter at April 10, 2012 04:04 PM (4df7R)

507 Sorry I'm late guys...I've been searching all day for a welcoming, safe environment where "just us guys" can come to talk about Ashley Judd's Puffy Face.
Posted by: memorymachine at April 10, 2012 03:57 PM (K6vIj) ...................................Welcome home.
Next topic an 18,000,000 word post on why we shouldn't hate Ace because he's beautiful

Posted by: Minnfidel at April 10, 2012 04:05 PM (gvO4Z)

508 How do the internals look?
Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) SMOD 2012 at April 10, 2012 04:01 PM (8y9MW)

***********

I'll go check but right away it's "registered" voters.


Screening for "likely" voters is always preferable, but very few polling companies do that well.

Posted by: tasker at April 10, 2012 04:05 PM (r2PLg)

509 I'm kinda with you on this. I have spoken of Michelle's rear once , after she made those unthoughtful comment about her daughter's weight. (she's fat)i really dislike her for her believing she has the right to tell others what they should eat, or her general intrusion into others personal lifestyles.
Posted by: willow at April 10, 2012 04:03 PM (TomZ9)

comments on michelle's appearance are driven primarily by rebellion against the mfm telling everyone how attractive she is.

Posted by: yankeefifth at April 10, 2012 04:05 PM (Z9EHQ)

510 I am not impressed with Mrs. Obama, but I really dislike attacks on her appearance rather than her inanity.


I'm sure the mockery would be less if we had not had her forced on us as the new Jackie O. The over the top flattery of a woman who is plain, at best, is just so grating.

Posted by: toby928© at April 10, 2012 04:05 PM (GTbGH)

511 Willow, exactly! I despise her making such a public criticism of her daughter, and I think she's a complete phony.

Posted by: goddessoftheclassroom at April 10, 2012 04:05 PM (pW1NV)

512

Ashley is called puffy, but Okra is called svelte?

Posted by: Doctor Fish at April 10, 2012 04:05 PM (TkGkA)

513 jinx dammit

Posted by: toby928© at April 10, 2012 04:05 PM (GTbGH)

514 Marie Curie.




Posted by: Buzzsaw at April 10, 2012 03:58 PM (tf9Ne)


And there were two women who SHOULD have won Physics Nobels (and one a Chemistry Nobel, too) but didn't get them because they were women (no question in these cases).

But, the number of women in the sciences is still very, very thin.

Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair at April 10, 2012 04:06 PM (X3lox)

515 LOL. Just Binged her. Her great contribution is "feminist existentialism." I rest my case.

The 'Feminist' part is pure revisionism...her work parallels Sartres, mainly due to their cohabitation. Feminists like to credit her for 100% of Sartres work. She'sPhilosophy's Frieda Kahlo.

Posted by: garrett at April 10, 2012 04:06 PM (yqQnV)

516 I'm sure the mockery would be less if we had not had
her forced on us as the new Jackie O. The over the top flattery of a
woman who is plain, at best, is just so grating.


Posted by: toby928© at April 10, 2012 04:05 PM (GTbGH)


I loved that pic of her and Carla Bruni together. Michelle has that "bitch please" look on her. You know right away who the nicer (and hotter) woman is.

Posted by: EC at April 10, 2012 04:06 PM (GQ8sn)

517
Posted by: HeatherRadish™ at April 10, 2012 04:02 PM (ZKzrr)

I never said she did. But she's apparently managed to stay relevent enough that the news will still occasionally turn to her. (FWIW, the only movie of hers I can name is "Double Jeopardy" and it wasn't that good. They couldn't even get the damn law right for the premise of the movie.)
Apparently stardom today is merely decided by how you get on the news, not actual work.

Posted by: tsrblke at April 10, 2012 04:06 PM (SYrwI)

518 "I get irritated as a person attacks someone's looks instead of that
person's comments, behavior, whatever. I am not impressed with Mrs.
Obama, but I really dislike attacks on her appearance rather than her
inanity."

Except in the case of Mrs. Obama, her appearance and her inanity often overlap.

It dropped my jaw in disbelief when she showed up wearing a tawdry pop-fashion outfit to a SOMBER MILITARY COMMEMORATION AT ARLINGTON NATIONAL CEMETERY. Absolutely rude and tone-deaf.

Please note that I am not applying a double standard here.

During the previous administration, Dick Cheney attended a comparably somber commemoration at Auschwitz, outdoors in cold weather, wearing a nylon ski parka and a knit cap with a staff retreat logo on it. I considered that to be every bit as sartorially tasteless and unacceptable. At minimum, Lynne Cheney should have caught that and made sure he was traveling with appropriate attire for both his body and head.

Responsible grown-ups should dress like responsible grown-ups.


Posted by: torquewrench at April 10, 2012 04:06 PM (ymG7s)

519 Hannah Arendt

Thrrupppp

Posted by: Bill the Cat at April 10, 2012 04:06 PM (+XVQe)

520 yankee, I agree with You, they treated her and Obama as if they were demi g-ds.
As we've seen neither one of them is 'all that'

Posted by: willow at April 10, 2012 04:06 PM (TomZ9)

521 At least Judd isn't a "fat pussy toad" like the late Hideki Irabu.

Posted by: Lincolntf at April 10, 2012 04:07 PM (HethX)

522 We would like to extend our warmestwelcome toour newpuffy-faced overloards.
***
IYKWWMAITYD

Posted by: puffy facial fetish union 486 at April 10, 2012 04:07 PM (8ieXv)

523 >>During March Madness she was forever being interviewed with the Kentucky
fans wearing blue and white; often at the expense of action on the
court (thanks a fucking lot CBS).

Y'all are banning their president from the next meeting of The Patriarchy, right?

(Lol. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nancy_Tellem)

Posted by: HeatherRadish™ at April 10, 2012 04:07 PM (ZKzrr)

524 I'm so confused. Is Wynonna Judd not the same as
winonna ryder who is also the sister of ashley judd. I thought it was
all one family.


Posted by: dagny at April 10, 2012 03:59 PM



Wynona Judd and her mother Naomi were the country singing duo known as The Judds. Ashley is Wynona's younger half-sister. (Oddly enough, Wynona was not told by Naomi that her father was not Ashley's father until Wynona was an adult. ) Ashley became an actress after the Judds were famous. Wynona tried ditching her mother and going out on her own for a while but her mother is a parasite.

Winona Ryder is no relation.

Posted by: mama winger at April 10, 2012 04:07 PM (P6QsQ)

525 Gay men ARE the patriarchy.
Just look at how Andi Sullivan worked so ruthlessly to destroy that strong female, Sarah Palin.

Posted by: Uncle Jefe at April 10, 2012 04:07 PM (+3fAP)

526 "I have a dream, where all the comments we have all half typed then delete without posting appear all in one thread and NBC runs them all during its "news" show."

That would be very long swathes of lame, interjected by shining moments of abject, scathing BRILLIANCE.

Posted by: reason at April 10, 2012 04:07 PM (q/kmn)

527 Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Hobbit and ABO Supporter at April 10, 2012 03:56 PM (4df7R)

My mom does that crap, too. Specially about the decorations and the clothes. It's my least favorite part of going to visit. I always have to have the "tour" of all the stuff she's done to the house since I was last there AND she usually has to show me all of her new outfits and give me the details on how great a deal she got on them. It's torture.

Posted by: Mandy P. voted and is All Dead Inside now at April 10, 2012 04:08 PM (qFpRI)

528 Was this a movie review ? Did I somehow miss the name of the movie ?

Posted by: The Jackhole at April 10, 2012 04:08 PM (nTgAI)

529 Just for fun:

Truly Smart actresses:

Hedy Lamar, coinventor of frequency-hopping communications for the WWII effort.

Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair at April 10, 2012 04:08 PM (X3lox)

530 Yeah, right, Ashley. Now, how about a hummer?

Posted by: The Patriarchy at April 10, 2012 04:08 PM (FcR7P)

531 goddess, yes she is a phony and lacks sensitivity to others.
her daughters .
people in general during a fiscal crisis where millions have lost their assets , homes etc.. she openly parties it up.
classless.

Posted by: willow at April 10, 2012 04:09 PM (TomZ9)

532 *Ugh* here is a line from the Roanoke write up of the polling which also included results for the Allen v. Kaine race.


Allen/Kaine

Allen's lead over Kaine is the same as last month. Allen leads among political Independents (42%-35%), but he trails Kaine among ideological moderates (46%-35%).


Posted by: tasker at April 10, 2012 04:09 PM (r2PLg)

533 My mom does that crap, too. Specially about the decorations and the clothes. It's my least favorite part of going to visit. I always have to have the "tour" of all the stuff she's done to the house since I was last there AND she usually has to show me all of her new outfits and give me the details on how great a deal she got on them. It's torture.

Posted by: Mandy P. voted and is All Dead Inside now at April 10, 2012 04:08 PM (qFpRI)


*commisserates*

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Hobbit and ABO Supporter at April 10, 2012 04:09 PM (4df7R)

534 At least Judd isn't a "fat pussy toad" like the late Hideki Irabu.

Yeah, but her ERA isn't all that either.

Posted by: toby928© at April 10, 2012 04:10 PM (GTbGH)

535 and sending her daughter and others to mexico while there are narco wars going on?
what a mom!

Posted by: willow at April 10, 2012 04:10 PM (TomZ9)

536 During the previous administration, Dick Cheney attended a comparably
somber commemoration at Auschwitz, outdoors in cold weather, wearing a
nylon ski parka and a knit cap with a staff retreat logo on it. I
considered that to be every bit as sartorially tasteless and
unacceptable. At minimum, Lynne Cheney should have caught that and made
sure he was traveling with appropriate attire for both his body and
head.


There was a good reason for that.

Cheney has a heart condition that makes him vulnerable to cold temperatures, moreso than healthier people. Him wearing the parka and cap was to keep his body temperature as stable as possible. Wearing an overcoat without a hat would've been hard on him, medically.

Posted by: EC at April 10, 2012 04:10 PM (GQ8sn)

537 I detest the fawning media, too, and I completely agree that Mrs. Obama is not worth emulating, but I guess there's something about personal insults that bother me.

Posted by: goddessoftheclassroom at April 10, 2012 04:10 PM (pW1NV)

538 Posted by: Count de Monet at April 10, 2012 04:04 PM (4q5tP)

I call it the 'Angry Bear' problem.
Instinct and Reasontell a man not to follow the Angry Bear.
Instinct and Reason are useless when the Angry Bear is your Wife.

Posted by: garrett at April 10, 2012 04:10 PM (yqQnV)

539 >>But, the number of women in the sciences is still very, very thin.

But not zero.

Huh.

Posted by: HeatherRadish™ at April 10, 2012 04:10 PM (ZKzrr)

540 480 Of all cultures on Earth, Western Man has given women more chances to be great than any other. Yet what results are there?

>>

Marie Curie.

*
*
She wasn't a philosopher, but a physicist and chemist.

Actually that's even more impressive. Okay, give her an A. Who else?

Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius at April 10, 2012 04:10 PM (exvgC)

541 How many times must we say that polls for the Presidential race are virtually worthless right now?



Don't pay any attention to them until at least a month after the convention.

Posted by: Vic at April 10, 2012 04:11 PM (YdQQY)

542 Now a post like that, is why I come to this smart military blog.

Posted by: Lord Monochromicorn at April 10, 2012 04:11 PM (rNv6U)

543 She's Philosophy's Frieda Kahlo.


She has the dreaded uni-brow,iirc?

Posted by: tasker at April 10, 2012 04:11 PM (r2PLg)

544 She should be interviewed sporting her Kentucky blue. After all, she worked HARD for all the players during her time at UK. (Emphasis on *all*). They loooooooooved Ms. Ashley. And by loved I mean she was discarded like a dirty Kleenex over and over again.

Slutpuppy.

Posted by: laceyunderalls really wants her own Empire at April 10, 2012 04:11 PM (pLTLS)

545
What was the point?
I got halfway through and lost the train of thought. Just don't give two cents about this crap anyway.
By the way, her face /is/ puffy. It's called, "weight gain" and "age." *gasp*

Posted by: soulpile at April 10, 2012 04:12 PM (Mk/IQ)

546 Wow. That was a long post. A lot of comments, too. So does Ashley Judd ever show her tits after she gets done running her puffy face? That I'd maybe care about. I'd have to do a Google search first, though, to see if her tits are worth looking at.

Posted by: Warden at April 10, 2012 04:13 PM (HzhBE)

547 You know who should be a hero to true feminists? Phyllis Schlafly. Go read her bio sometime and marvel.

Posted by: toby928© at April 10, 2012 04:13 PM (GTbGH)

548 ""I'm sure the mockery would be less if we had not had her forced on us as
the new Jackie O. The over the top flattery of a woman who is plain, at
best, is just so grating.""


A fucking 1000 times this.

Posted by: Berserker at April 10, 2012 04:13 PM (FMbng)

549 Actually that's even more impressive. Okay, give her an A. Who else?




Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius at April 10, 2012 04:10 PM (exvgC)


Sonya Kowalevski and Emmie Noether (from the joke above).

Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair at April 10, 2012 04:13 PM (X3lox)

550 Smart female scientist: Beatrix Potter

Hella-talented in regards to botany.

http://classic.the-scientist.com/news/display/53057/

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Hobbit and ABO Supporter at April 10, 2012 04:13 PM (4df7R)

551 I'd have to do a Google search first, though, to see if her tits are worth looking at.


Posted by: Warden at April 10, 2012 04:13 PM (HzhBE)

Not really.

Posted by: EC at April 10, 2012 04:13 PM (GQ8sn)

552 Great analysis! Couldn't have said it better!

Posted by: maninsociety at April 10, 2012 04:13 PM (khXU6)

553 **I dislike it because it's always seemed to me to be so immature, self-absorbed, and trivial.**

yeah, feminism is not an academic pursuit.

It's all bullshit, like getting an MBA in the USSR where it's all about political credentialing.

Posted by: joeindc44 the bluff caller at April 10, 2012 04:14 PM (QxSug)

554 "
Every guy knows this. The moment after you and your lady depart from a meeting another female... Well, now is the time we're going to discuss that woman's flaws, isn't it?
Our contribution (as members of The Patriarchy) is usually limited to polite agreement like, "You're right, dear, she does comport herself like a shameless trollop from Whore College." "


I will also comment on this. I have learned, the hard way, that there is a very ill-defined, yet excruciatingly present threshhold on just how much you can agree with and/or join in on the post-game analysis.

It varies from woman to woman. With Mrs. Reason, there is a small window of perfection that must be achieved with this. Too much agreement, and you will be accused of having overly-scrutinizedThe Subjectyourself. Too little agreement, and you are accused of supporting / defendingThe Subject. It is a dangerous world.

Posted by: reason at April 10, 2012 04:14 PM (q/kmn)

555 VA Poll --

Likely Republican nominee Mitt Romney has opened a six-point lead
(46%-40%) over President Barack Obama in Virginia, according to The
Roanoke College Poll. The two were statistically tied in the College's
February poll. Republican George Allen maintains an 8-point lead
(44%-36%) on Democrat Tim Kaine in the likely November matchup for the
U.S. Senate seat from Virginia. The margin is unchanged from last month.
The Roanoke College Poll interviewed 603 Virginia residents between
March 24 and April 5 and has a margin of error of +4%. Screening for
registered voters (N=537) reduces Allen's lead to seven points (46%-39%)
and Romney's lead to five points (46%-41%).


Enthusiasm Gap for Mittens, this is what he needs to fix (although he is leading without it).

Although Mitt Romney leads Barack Obama, he faces a clear "enthusiasm
gap" as compared to the incumbent, according to poll results. Romney
supporters are less likely to say they are very certain they will vote
for him (72% vs. 81% among Obama voters), are only half as likely to say
they are very enthusiastic about their vote (31% vs. 62%), and are
three times as likely to say they are not enthusiastic (22% vs. 7%). Not
surprisingly, Obama supporters are more likely to say they would
contribute money to the campaign (49% vs. 20% among Romney voters),
volunteer for the campaign (43% vs. 20%), informally talk to other
people about voting for the candidate (58% vs. 45%), or put up a yard
sign or attach a bumper sticker (50% vs. 30%). About one-third (36%) of
those who are not certain they will vote for their preferred candidate
say it is possible they won't vote. More than half of those who say they
may not vote (56%) say they would be more likely to vote if the
Republicans nominated someone other than Romney.



Posted by: Jean at April 10, 2012 04:14 PM (WkuV6)

556 Pouches, ewoks have pouches. I think. Get Lucas on the horn.

Posted by: nip at April 10, 2012 04:15 PM (Is/K9)

557 good god....

Posted by: immanuel prog at April 10, 2012 04:15 PM (lB/5N)

558 I for one welcome our new puffy overlords. My only wish is that this post had some more content.

Posted by: Minnfidel at April 10, 2012 04:15 PM (gvO4Z)

559 [Women think men love Julia Roberts.Men never ever ever talk
about Julia Roberts. Ever.]

Same goes for that horse faced chick from Sex in the City.

Posted by: Warden at April 10, 2012 04:16 PM (HzhBE)

560 She has a new show.
It sucks.


Posted by: EC at April 10, 2012 04:03 PM

She's probably been informed by the shows producers that the ratings suck too, so she's flapping her yap while people still listen

She's hoping that if she can whine enough about the heartaches of middle age, she'll get a sympathy fuck and a movie offer from the Hollywood Patriarchy

She wakes up screaming every night from that recurring nightmare where she's a contestant on Dancing With the Stars

Posted by: Lady Gaga at April 10, 2012 04:16 PM (Y+DPZ)

561 torquewrench, excellent point! How she dresses is her choice and fair game for just ridicule and criticism.

Her demeanor suggests that it is your privilege to meet her, as compared to Mrs. Bush's (either), which suggested it was her privilege to meet you.

Posted by: goddessoftheclassroom at April 10, 2012 04:16 PM (pW1NV)

562 Tasker - that Allen/Kaine split is expected. Allen is holding a consistent lead over Kaine, and I don't expect many ticket splitters.

Posted by: Jean at April 10, 2012 04:17 PM (WkuV6)

563 http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-bloggers/1665919/posts


Posted by: Underground Vulgarian at April 10, 2012 04:17 PM (Aaxiu)

564 Pouches, ewoks have pouches. I think.

Extra Terrestrial Marsupials?

Posted by: garrett at April 10, 2012 04:17 PM (yqQnV)

565 Ashley is an actress - she pretends to be someone that she isn't.
She can pretend to be a young, good-looking woman. If she's talented enough, she can pull it off.

Posted by: Roy at April 10, 2012 04:18 PM (VndSC)

566 Julia Roberts looked hot as a slutty pizza-slinging Portagee fisherman's daughter in "Mystic Pizza", but has been going downhill ever since.

Posted by: Lincolntf at April 10, 2012 04:19 PM (HethX)

567 She's probably been informed by the shows producers
that the ratings suck too, so she's flapping her yap while people still
listen

She's hoping that if she can whine enough about the
heartaches of middle age, she'll get a sympathy fuck and a movie offer
from the Hollywood Patriarchy

She wakes up screaming every night from that recurring nightmare where she's a contestant on Dancing With the Stars



Posted by: Lady Gaga at April 10, 2012 04:16 PM (Y+DPZ)


Do you know what her new show is about? This is how bad it is:
She is an ex-CIA agent, similar to Liam Neeson in Taken. In fact, the show can be described as Taken the tv version. Her son is kidnapped and she starts the ass-kicking to find him. Sound familiar?

Posted by: EC at April 10, 2012 04:20 PM (GQ8sn)

568
Ashley Judd used to be kinda cute but now she got turkey neck.

Posted by: Dr. Varno at April 10, 2012 04:20 PM (VBGvD)

569 Someone stole my Coke out of the refrigerator at work and I'm pretty damned sure The Patriarchy had a hand in it.

Posted by: Warden at April 10, 2012 04:20 PM (HzhBE)

570 I confess, dlisted is one of my favorite trash gossip sites. That guy has a gift for snark. He definitely makes fun of the way celebrities look (yes, I learned about puffy-face-gate there), but the part I like the most is when he makes fun of the way celebrities behave. I know I'm part of the "idiocracy," and celebrity gossip websites are my version of "Ow my balls!," but there are worse vices to have, I guess.

As to the Judd rant: she's only angry when the "patriarchy" says negative things about her appearance. You never heard a peep about her when guys talk about how hot she is. You can't revel in and profit from your image when it appeals to the "patriarchy" and then bitch when it doesn't and expect anybody to care.

Posted by: not the mama at April 10, 2012 04:20 PM (96Kco)

571 Have we confirmation that the puffiness is limited to her face?

Posted by: Fritz at April 10, 2012 04:21 PM (/ZZCn)

572 569
Someone stole my Coke out of the refrigerator at work and I'm pretty damned sure The Patriarchy had a hand in it.


Posted by: Warden at April 10, 2012 04:20 PM (HzhBE)

* slurps the last bit of Coke out of the can *
What?

Posted by: EC at April 10, 2012 04:21 PM (GQ8sn)

573
Julia Roberts looked hot as a slutty pizza-slinging Portagee fisherman's
daughter in "Mystic Pizza", but has been going downhill ever since.

Posted by: Lincolntf at April 10, 2012 04:19 PM (HethX)


Yeah ... she was cute in that movie, except for her ass, which was the size of Ohio.

Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair at April 10, 2012 04:21 PM (X3lox)

574 NEXT TIME, ON OW MY BALLS!

Posted by: HoboJerky at April 10, 2012 04:21 PM (xAtAj)

575 As a laser straight dude, the 2 bits of wisdom I picked up over the years are-

1. never trust gay men's opinions on anything dealing with women

2. Cautiously.....cautiously trust women's opinions on things concerning other women.

Posted by: Berserker at April 10, 2012 04:24 PM (FMbng)

576 Ace,

The guys in The Patriarchy wanted to know if you wanted to join us for beers while we watch What Not To Wear

Posted by: kbdabear at April 10, 2012 04:24 PM (Y+DPZ)

577 I think puffy faces look good on people.

Posted by: Newt Effing Gingrich at April 10, 2012 04:24 PM (gvO4Z)

578 - 480

Many other women in Western civilization besides Marie Curie have produced something great. Although, clearly, your mother wasn't one of them.

Posted by: GT TG at April 10, 2012 04:24 PM (PLGXq)

579 559 [Women think men love Julia Roberts. Men never ever ever talk

about Julia Roberts. Ever.]

Same goes for that horse faced chick from Sex in the City.

*
*
I recall a radio commercial for some product back in the '90s where a bunch of women are complaining about men, and one mourns, "If I could ever find one who isn't nuts about Julia Roberts" or words to that effect. Another snorts, "Good luck with that."

Despite propaganda like that, I've never heard any straight guy comment on Roberts. Not at any time.

(As for the "Sex in the City" woman, I hear she likes moonlight canters around the park.)

Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius at April 10, 2012 04:25 PM (exvgC)

580 I call it the 'Angry Bear' problem. Instinct and Reasontell a man not to follow the Angry Bear. Instinct and Reason are useless when the Angry Bear is your Wife.

Posted by: garrett at April 10, 2012 04:10 PM (yqQnV)

You are wise in the ways of women, good Sir Garrett. I called it the "Childish Meltdown Over Candy In The Checkout Line" and ignored it commensurately. Which was not the winning move.

Posted by: Count de Monet at April 10, 2012 04:25 PM (4q5tP)

581 Completely OT: About 90 minutes ago, I decided to try out one of those little "Five Hour Energy" vials.

Initial report - tasted nasty. Despite shaking it first, the "flavoring" did not seem to cover the funk when I got to the end.
After 90 minutes - not feeling necessarily "alert." Better than I was, I guess, although I could probably go into a dark room and take a nap. Not as much energy right now as I would have hoped. Also, my stomach is unsettled.
So far, I'm glad this thing was a free sample. If I'd actually paid $2.50, or whatever these things retail, I'd be sad that I'd wasted money right about now.

Posted by: reason at April 10, 2012 04:25 PM (kZVsz)

582
545 What was the point?I got halfway through and lost the train of thought. Just don't give two cents about this crap anyway.By the way, her face /is/ puffy. It's called, "weight gain" and "age." *gasp*
Posted by: soulpile at April 10, 2012 04:12 PM (Mk/IQ)


I think this was one of ace's 'stream of consciousness' posts where he winds up going on off on enough tangents he could fill the answer key of a calculus book.

Posted by: buzzion at April 10, 2012 04:26 PM (GULKT)

583 Any TB's in the house? Admiral Raykon is making an ass of himself below.

Posted by: toby928© at April 10, 2012 04:27 PM (GTbGH)

584
Where The Heart Is 2: The Puffening

Posted by: Dr. Varno at April 10, 2012 04:27 PM (VBGvD)

585 She used to be the hot one.

Posted by: Muhammad's Left Nut at April 10, 2012 04:27 PM (ZPrif)

586 The 'Feminist' part is pure revisionism...her work parallels Sartres, mainly due to their cohabitation.
Posted by: garrett at April 10, 2012 04:06 PM (yqQnV)

---------------

OK. I'll grant it, since I have no knowledge to contradict that. Even so, my point is made. We men have our faults, all too many, but without us man would still be in the stone age. Anybody who thinks matriarchy is the solution to man's ills is seriously ignorant, or a deliberate liar. Judging by speed of our social decline, I'd say the opposite is a far easier case to make.

Posted by: Reactionary at April 10, 2012 04:28 PM (xUM1Q)

587
581 Completely OT: About 90 minutes ago, I decided to try out one of those little "Five Hour Energy" vials. Initial report - tasted nasty. Despite shaking it first, the "flavoring" did not seem to cover the funk when I got to the end. After 90 minutes - not feeling necessarily "alert." Better than I was, I guess, although I could probably go into a dark room and take a nap. Not as much energy right now as I would have hoped. Also, my stomach is unsettled. So far, I'm glad this thing was a free sample. If I'd actually paid $2.50, or whatever these things retail, I'd be sad that I'd wasted money right about now.
Posted by: reason at April 10, 2012 04:25 PM (kZVsz)


Anytime I've taken them I've made sure to have something else to drink right after. They do not taste good. And I honestly can't really tell if it has any effect. But since I'm usually waking up at 5:15 am, there are days where I'm willing to give it a shot.

Posted by: buzzion at April 10, 2012 04:29 PM (GULKT)

588 Reactionary is correct: matriarchy is a quick path to destruction and devolution. Sad to say, we're going to get a good look at the results of matriarchy (if we aren't already).

also her face is puffy from the fillers. when you get old the fat under your skin deteriorates - tis worse than the wrinkles. so the puffiness is just because she just did it; it will subside

Posted by: BlackOrchid at April 10, 2012 04:31 PM (SB0V2)

589 Haven't seen anything she's been in since Double Jeopardy, but she was smokin' hot in that. Too bad she turned out to be a standard-issue screeching gender feminist.

Posted by: Jeffersonian at April 10, 2012 04:33 PM (bf/PR)

590 ""[Women think men love Julia Roberts.Men never ever ever talk

about Julia Roberts. Ever.]

Same goes for that horse faced chick from Sex in the City.""



We don't talk about Julia Roberts because she really is just another pretty face among many. We might give it a passing thought and say yeah I would bend her over a desk, and then thats it, out of sight out of mind.

As far as the horse faced one goes, thats kinda self evident, nothing to see here people, move along.

On the other hand, as far as the sex in city Ho's go, I always liked Kim Cattrall, mostly because see seems to never turn down a good sci-fi role, no matter if its a block buster movie or not. She was also a tad easy on the eyes

Posted by: Berserker at April 10, 2012 04:33 PM (FMbng)

591 @575 - This needs to be printed on the back of every high school diploma.

Like "Lottery Numbers" on the back of the slip in a fortune cookie. Except, you know, useful.

Posted by: reason at April 10, 2012 04:34 PM (kZVsz)

592 I read her screed this morning and thought fora second it was a parody. I wonder where she learned all that feminist crap, it sure wasn't at Kentucky or in one year at Harvard's school of government.

She's rich, she's married to one of the hottest men on the planet and she thinks women should feel sorry for her because people are snarking about her face? And she has been an actress for almost 20 years and she thinks people will, or should, not notice a major transformation of her appearance! What the hell planet is she on?

Posted by: rockmom at April 10, 2012 04:37 PM (aBlZ1)

593 In most any feminist screed you can substitute the word "The Devil" for the word "Patriarchy" and you will not change its meaning one iota.

"Patriarchy" is an empty vessel which means whatever they need it to mean at the time being. If you really engage with them, and point out the manner in which, for example, men are disadvantaged by the existing order by virtue of the fact that they are impressed into the most physically dangerous occupations, including combat, they fall back on the canned response that "Patriarchy hurts men too."


Posted by: Alec Leamas at April 10, 2012 04:37 PM (mg08E)

594 ew you guys - OT but Morgan Freeman is marrying his step-granddaughter? rumor has it. I'd link but it's the Inquirer

ick ick ick

Posted by: BlackOrchid at April 10, 2012 04:39 PM (SB0V2)

595 "Cheney has a heart condition
that makes him vulnerable to cold temperatures, moreso than healthier
people."

I'm aware of Cheney's cardiac challenges and sympathize with them.

"Him wearing the parka and cap was to keep his body temperature
as stable as possible. Wearing an overcoat without a hat would've been
hard on him, medically."



Who has suggested he go hatless? Not I. If you look at the photos, the
majority of the other men attending the Auschwitz ceremony were wearing warm fur hats. Sober, modest fur hats without logos. One of those would have been
entirely acceptable.



Moreover, technological devices to help people with poor
thermoregulation are abundant and cheap, such as heated vests, beloved
by winter hunters and skiers.



Dick should have worn a properly conservative dark overcoat and hat,
as the other men attending did, with technological means as required beneath to keep him warm and
healthy.



Or, he should have begged pardon on medical grounds and had a different U.S. dignitary attend in his place.



What he did appeared poorly and reflected badly on our country. And if
you read the conservative European press (yes, there actually is one,
though small), you will find that even those inclined to look favorably
on the United States thought Cheney's attire was embarrassing.

He stuck out like the proverbial sore thumb, and the visuals proved far more potent than the later explanations. Appearances matter. Appearances have an effect. Impressions are lasting.

And again, no double standard here. Left or right, conservative or liberal, some circumstances demand a very restrained mode of personal attire.

To argue by analogy: I hate neckties. I find them very uncomfortable to wear. But if I'm ever representing my country at the site of a horrifying genocide, you can be damn sure I will be wearing a carefully chosen, impeccably knotted necktie. Because that's what circumstances require.




Posted by: torquewrench at April 10, 2012 04:39 PM (ymG7s)

596 Thanks buzz.

Posted by: reason at April 10, 2012 04:40 PM (kZVsz)

597
594 ew you guys - OT but Morgan Freeman is marrying his step-granddaughter? rumor has it. I'd link but it's the Inquirer ick ick ick
Posted by: BlackOrchid at April 10, 2012 04:39 PM (SB0V2)


That's so hot.

Posted by: Woody Allen at April 10, 2012 04:40 PM (GULKT)

598 Also this "patriarchy" crap is just the female version of Critical Race Theory. Everything I don't like, if I am a woman, I blame on The Patriarchy. Including the bitchiness of other women! Somehow even that is the fault of The Great Male Oppressor. Give me a break.

Posted by: rockmom at April 10, 2012 04:40 PM (aBlZ1)

599 "Despite propaganda like that, I've never heard any straight guy comment on Roberts. Not at any time."

I've talked about Julia Roberts a few times, but always in the context of not finding her all that attractive. She's not.

Posted by: SFGoth at April 10, 2012 04:40 PM (dZ756)

600 I am *(%ing dying here wanting to see the puffy face.

OH GOD IT'S ALL TRUE

Posted by: Sarahw at April 10, 2012 04:42 PM (LYwCh)

601 Her face is nowpuffy and in the her previewof her new showherfacewas wrinkled and melting (thanks to glories of HDTV). Obviously, someone (her producer)mentionedher wrinkled, meltingface, so shedecided to do have some work done.It didn't turn out well, so instead of suing her plastic surgeon she bitches about patriarchy.
This whole little tirade has nothing to do with patriarchy. It has something to do with her career going nowhere because she hit forty and hit it hardand digital photography is unkind. Also, she doesn't have the acting chops to compete with talented actresses - the actresses who had good enough sense to turn down Double Jeopardy and Kiss the Girls.

Posted by: Wendy at April 10, 2012 04:48 PM (KydDZ)

602 Basically she got fillers because she was scared of what had already happened - aging out of the ingenue/romantic heroine class of actress - and the demands that any chick getting those roles look a certain way.

She caved to the patriarchy and found out the downside of fillers. They can improve but they don't restore what is lost, and overdone they are really, really obvious, especially on a person who has been before the camera a lot in her salad days. She was a pretty girl all her life and got the advantages and now that they have slip-slided away into (a still well above-average) matronhood, the system of rating feminine value according to youth and beauty is unfair and unkind to women. Good lord aging isn't nice or fair.
Well preserved is as good as it gets.

Posted by: Sarahw at April 10, 2012 04:50 PM (LYwCh)

603 If she looked into the Ark of the Covenant, it would help out the puffiness.

Posted by: Dr. Varno at April 10, 2012 04:53 PM (VBGvD)

604 You know, under a real Patriarchy, we would never hear anything Ashley Judd has to say. She's so oppressed. I wonder how anyone managed to even see her puffy faced underneath the burqa?

Posted by: no good deed at April 10, 2012 04:57 PM (mjR67)

605 We should do a sister site that offers the Cliffs Notes and Bullet Points of Ace's thesis work.

Haha..I keed, I keed...

Actually, I want to compliment Ace on taking the time to write as prolifically as he does. He really takes the time. How does he do these so quickly??? Some of these letters of his are pristine and amongst us mere mortals would require several days of drafts and editing. It's kind of amazing what he does if you think about it.

Ace is kind of like the graphic novelist of bloggers. The same way artists who work on graphic novels don't get enough credit as artists, Ace should win some kind of a prize. All I know is he puts out more quality shit in one blog post than Eugene Robinson's stupid Pulitzer Prize winning ass puts out in an entire career.

For reals.

Thank You Ace.

Posted by: sunny black at April 10, 2012 04:57 PM (0dyYY)

606 I think in Ashley's case it must have been tough hitting 40 because her mother was gorgeous at 40 and had no work done.

I am reminded of a comment made by the great Zsa Zsa Gabor, "every woman reaches an agewhere she has to choose between her face and her ass." Ashley tried to choose both and failed.

Posted by: rockmom at April 10, 2012 04:58 PM (aBlZ1)

607 Don't hate me because I'm puffy.

Posted by: Ashley P. Judd at April 10, 2012 05:02 PM (O3R/2)

608 BTW..you know what...a few months back I was saying how I wouldn't hook up with that singer, Perry -- the chick who was married to Russell Brand. She's not my type, nothing personal. But I don't know what Ashley Judd is talking about because I'd still hook up with her -- puffy face and all. Why? I love her southern accent, I bet she looks sexy when she's in bed writing in her journal, err diary (about patriarchy no doubt), and she looks like she smells like daffodils. That's enough for me. In fact, my problem isn't her face, puffy or otherwise, but rather her leftist stances and her love for Kentucky basketball. Those are bigger problems for me. I wasn't aware she had a puffy face or what not (is she on steroids for something? What do I care?).

Posted by: sunny black at April 10, 2012 05:06 PM (0dyYY)

609 Not going to read 600 comments. In a word, fillers. Puffy face comes from fillers like Juvaderm and Restylane.

Posted by: snowcrash at April 10, 2012 05:10 PM (t2NQr)

610 "she looks like she smells like daffodills"

WTF?

Posted by: reason at April 10, 2012 05:13 PM (sPO/s)

611 @snowcrash - most of the 609 comments are actually about Rick Santorum suspending his campaign.

If you want to not-read 500+ comments about Ashley Judd's puffy face, then don't-read the thread about Rick Santorum suspending his campaign...

Yeah. Morons.

Posted by: reason at April 10, 2012 05:15 PM (sPO/s)

612 I wandered back into the Santorum thread without a sherpa leading the way.

I have no idea who is who over there or what the hell is going on.

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at April 10, 2012 05:25 PM (piMMO)

613 Seriously, a million words on this and no puffy face picture?

Posted by: Lea at April 10, 2012 05:38 PM (lIU4e)

614 I can't believe I read the whole thing.

Posted by: Corona at April 10, 2012 05:52 PM (fh2Y7)

615 610
"she looks like she smells like daffodills"



WTF?

Posted by: reason at April 10, 2012 05:13 PM (sPO/s)

absurdism.

Posted by: sunny black at April 10, 2012 05:55 PM (0dyYY)

616 Ashley Judd is half Italian, her REAL name is Ashley Tyler Ciminella (Judd was her mother's maiden name)

Posted by: Pete at April 10, 2012 05:57 PM (j/wD+)

617 Didn't Ashley Judd always have a kind of puffy face?
The only one that seems sane from those three is Wynona.
I just goggled Ashley Judd the first that comes up now is Ashley Judd puffy face.


Posted by: long island at April 10, 2012 06:03 PM (kzp9t)

618 @VekTor

C'mon, seriously.... you can't be a straight guy. No straight guy give 2 shifts about Ashley Judd's new TV show. At least not because Ashley Judd is in it. Methinks thou dost protest too much.

Posted by: Uselogic at April 10, 2012 06:10 PM (+A456)

619 "Because any cruelty with men could ultimately result in violence, there's usually a Line that isn't crossed"

This is a profound observation that women need to realize. A fundamental difference between men & women.

Posted by: Jason M at April 10, 2012 06:50 PM (1eIIS)

620 So how the hell did her face get so puffy anyway? What's up with that?

Posted by: stace at April 10, 2012 06:53 PM (lYlx9)

621 Obama is a stuttering clusterf*ck of a miserable failure.

Posted by: steevy at April 10, 2012 07:21 PM (7W3wI)

622 If she didn't want people talking about her appearance, maybe she shouldn't have become a fucking actress.

And I bet this shining example of feminism never used her looks in order to get ahead of other, more talented actresses. Nope, no way.

Posted by: Justin at April 10, 2012 07:26 PM (yoAYX)

623 I just learned that I'm gay because I went searching for a puffy-faced photo of Ms. Judd.

Posted by: DJ at April 10, 2012 07:34 PM (8VHE9)

624 Longest post ever about some shit that nobody cares about featuring some broad nobody cares about.

Posted by: BallofHate at April 10, 2012 07:38 PM (5DAFk)

625 C'mon, seriously.... you can't be a straight guy. No straight guy give 2
shifts about Ashley Judd's new TV show. At least not because Ashley
Judd is in it. Methinks thou dost protest too much.

Let me guess... you're not married. The wife likes the show, and she likes it when I spend time with her. So I "watch" it with her in bed. Do I give a crap about Judd? No. I didn't know the name of the actress until my wife told me. But people watch the show, and watching Judd pistol-whip the crap out of thugs and strangle them with phone cords makes it a reasonably tolerable diversion, and one not certainly not reserved for gay men.

And it explains why the hell people are talking about her now, as opposed to two months ago... because she's in a new show that many millions of people have started watching, and her face looks a bit "off" at the moment.

Not because of some patriarchy, and not because of the gay men / women alliance. It's because she's on TV, apparently for the first time in quite a while.

Posted by: VekTor at April 10, 2012 07:41 PM (N7DZ0)

626 WTF is up with the comments section. Does nothing work now regarding italics, strike-throughs and the rest?

Posted by: VekTor at April 10, 2012 07:43 PM (N7DZ0)

627 I saw the pic and she was puffy ! just sayin.

Posted by: TruthSpeaker at April 10, 2012 08:07 PM (pqVyv)

628 "620
So how the hell did her face get so puffy anyway? What's up with that?"

Folks were speculating it was due to bad plastic surgery attempts, and apparently her agent said it was because she was taking prednisone (a pretty nasty steroid) to fight off a bad sinus infection.

I've seen some bad reactions to steroid treatments, and had a few of my own reactions that were milder, so it seems at least somewhat plausible that the story her side is putting out is true.

Which doesn't give her a permission slip to go on a ridiculous rant as far as I'm concerned. But I clearly have bigger things to worry about, since I've just found out from reading the comments that apparently I can't possibly be straight.

So that's going to take some getting used to.

Posted by: VekTor at April 10, 2012 08:09 PM (N7DZ0)

629 This is not scrollpast stuff. This is vintage Ace.

Posted by: LobarPendulum at April 10, 2012 08:23 PM (pvTTn)

630 623

Who didn't? I mean, besides Ace.

Posted by: LobarPendulum at April 10, 2012 08:34 PM (pvTTn)

631
generally:
women are cruel, men are brutal.

men's brutality is harsh but mercifully short.
women's cruelty goes on and on and on.

Posted by: Shoey at April 10, 2012 08:37 PM (m6OUa)

632 Nobody takes oral prednisone for a sinus infection. It's like gasoline on the fire of infection. A aerosol for comfort, maybe, to reduce inflammation that prevents drainage, but only with antibiotics or antifungals and never in doses high enough for moon-face and mood swings.

So, no, she got fillers.

Posted by: Sarahw at April 10, 2012 10:03 PM (LYwCh)

633 Ashley sure whines a lot about her body when one of the things she is primarily known for during her acting career is appearing full nude in movies. Looking it up, she's been in 8 movies nude, with a count of 25 nude scenes. That's out of 26 big screen movies.

Posted by: William Teach at April 10, 2012 10:05 PM (Pq9u/)

634
Is TMZ a gossip site? I like TMZ. As for Ms. Judd, I wonder if she knows how to use a Shake Weight.

Posted by: MoeMoe at April 10, 2012 10:08 PM (cey9b)

635 running joke about Sarah Jessica Parker, by all accounts a charming a decent woman, being a horse-face, it pisses me off.

Excuse me, but are you talking about the same two faced (horse or not) b*tch who complained that her family back in Geekville, USA couldn't collect gubmint assistance, while she and lib husband Matthew Broderick were estimated to be worth over 30 millions dollars? That snide, leftist skank, who complained her family couldn't get assistance while she was flying to Paris for the spring fashion shows and releasing her own line of perfumes; Trash bag and the City or whatever.

That sorry piece of plunder?
Compared to her sh*tty politics, and a mole on her face that looked like another nose, being a horse faced harridan is nothing.

Nothing.

You, sir, or ma'am, are full of grade A shiite.

*spit*

Posted by: enter sandman, returning commentor and lurker at April 10, 2012 10:18 PM (zxaA2)

636 I noticed that her face was round, but I didn't really twig to "puffy" because I don't know how she usually looks. She's thin-thin on the tv show.

What I did notice, though, was how low she was pitching her voice, and also that she's so not-slouching when she stands or walks that it's really noticeable. Shoulders square, back ram-rod straight... like that.

But mostly the voice. I tried to demonstrate to my husband and cracked up too much to pull it off.

Posted by: Synova at April 10, 2012 11:15 PM (P0X9Q)

637 Has Joan Rivers set that whiny little twit straight yet? I'll have to ask my wife when she wakes up.

Posted by: 66chevelle at April 11, 2012 08:40 AM (QjSgY)

638 I got it Ace, read the whole thing and git yer point. Men wimmins ARE different, thank G_D.
I do however have a bitch, ya made me hafta google the bitch to find out who she is.....
What is once seen, cannot be unseen....

Posted by: KrazyBker at April 15, 2012 06:23 PM (fQYHU)

639 heck of an analysis for someone who's not interested and doesn't care.
maybe you said something pertinent but sorry, couldn't go on reading after a while

Posted by: Above it All at April 18, 2012 08:47 AM (2yG5K)

640
after reading a few pages of this dribble I have decided that this site is not worth the pile of shit president and I will no longer stop on here ever again.between the writers and the dimwitted comments its unbearable to look at fuck off you monkey fuckers

Posted by: james at April 23, 2012 08:00 PM (nAZJv)






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