New Guidlelines For Avoiding Ethnic Slurs When Covering Jeremy Lin are Informative, Hilarious

Okay. I suppose they had to issue this, given that some people don't know "chink" is a slur for Chinese.

But this reads like an SNL sketch. Imagine this as a sketch on SNL -- some reporters sternly warning you away from certain offensive jokes. Then repeating each joke. While insisting it's not funny.

That would be a funny sketch.

It's a funny document.

I'm not saying slurs are funny. If I heard any of these jokes, told as jokes, I'd roll my eyes. Kind of ba-dum-dum.

The medium is the message. Here, with the Asian-American Journalists Association listing every single dumb Asian joke you can think of, old, musty, kinda-racist humor is suddenly sneakily funny.

Here is the document. Tell me you don't feel like you're being punked.

DANGER ZONES

...

DRIVING: This is part of the sport of basketball, but resist the temptation to refer to an "Asian who knows how to drive."

EYE SHAPE: This is irrelevant. Do not make such references if discussing Lin's vision.

...

MARTIAL ARTS: You're writing about a basketball player. Don't conflate his skills with judo, karate, tae kwon do, etc. Do not refer to Lin as "Grasshopper" or similar names associated with martial-arts stereotypes.

"ME LOVE YOU LIN TIME": Avoid. This is a lazy pun on the athlete's name and alludes to the broken English of a Hollywood caricature from the 1980s.

What about:

CONFUCIUS: Avoid "Confucius say, 'nothin' but net.'"

I made that last one up but the rest are real.


Specifics

Comedy is built on the specific. Avoid specifics if you want to avoid a comedy vibe.


Posted by: Ace at 01:41 PM



Comments

1 Barack Obama is a stuttering clusterf*ck of a miserable tyrant.

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) SMOD 2012 at February 24, 2012 01:42 PM (8y9MW)

2 I saw those. I'd hoped they were supposed to be sarcasm.

Oh, well. There's always face-palm.

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) SMOD 2012 at February 24, 2012 01:42 PM (8y9MW)

3 I think Monty Python actually did something like this. There's the "I like Chinese" song. I think they could have actually made it funny.

SNL wouldn't be funny. Oh, the first 30 seconds, when you got the premise, that would be funny. The next 10 minutes of filler? Not so much.

Posted by: AmishDude at February 24, 2012 01:43 PM (T0NGe)

4 Oh, and by the ESPN standards, it is imperative that Chuck Blow be fired by the NYT.

Posted by: AmishDude at February 24, 2012 01:44 PM (T0NGe)

5
I always thought sports writing was Harlequin Romance novels for men.

Posted by: mike at February 24, 2012 01:45 PM (xVnt3)

6 Looks like math jokes are still on.

Posted by: HeatherRadish at February 24, 2012 01:46 PM (/kI1Q)

7 Can I just say that Charles Blow's religious bigotry is a chink in the New York Times armor?

Posted by: robtr at February 24, 2012 01:46 PM (MtwBb)

8 I guess Lin doesn't guard someone like "white on rice" now.

Posted by: MrCaniac at February 24, 2012 01:46 PM (1grxW)

9 SNL did a sketch on this, it was their opener last Saturday. Based on a local NYC sports show, the host and the two black analysts were making all kinds of racial jokes about Jeremy Lin and laughting (I'm pretty sure the "Me Love You Lin Time" was one of them), but when the white analyst made a racial joke about Carmelo Anthony the rest of them were like "dude, that's racist." Eventually the white guy was kicked off the set.

Posted by: rockmom at February 24, 2012 01:46 PM (NYnoe)

10 Hilarius , is there a video of them dead panning all allowed and forbidden asian jokes?

Posted by: Temper Tantrum at February 24, 2012 01:47 PM (AWmfW)

11 ... Lin seems to be almost squinting as he flows toward the net ...

I denounce myself.

Posted by: Lemmenkainen at February 24, 2012 01:47 PM (ZWvOb)

12
Red Rocket : Inappropriate nickname. Not all Asians are communists. And why do you have so many kids?

Posted by: Dr Spank at February 24, 2012 01:48 PM (Sh42X)

13 I guess he can't "press" anymore. Or take someone "to the cleaners".

Posted by: MrCaniac at February 24, 2012 01:48 PM (1grxW)

14 but when the white analyst made a racial joke about Carmelo Anthony the rest of them were like "dude, that's racist."

That doesn't sound like SNL. That doesn't sound like SNL at all.

Posted by: AmishDude at February 24, 2012 01:49 PM (T0NGe)

15 What about "equipment size" jokes? Are those okay?

Posted by: wooga at February 24, 2012 01:49 PM (vjyZP)

16 Ability: Remarking that Lin's playing ability is owed to "Ancient Chinese secret" is offense to Chinese laundromat owners, of which there are many.

Posted by: Hollowpoint at February 24, 2012 01:49 PM (SY2Kh)

17 That is hilarious. It's even better when you picture whoever put it together screaming THAT'S NOT FUNNY!

I'll just say, there's no way I could read those with a straight face.

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD 2012 at February 24, 2012 01:49 PM (VtjlW)

18 Give them Maher's spot stat.

Posted by: JonathanEllis at February 24, 2012 01:49 PM (BdzEV)

19 In fifteen years Bill Maher will be telling these jokes.

Posted by: passably affable at February 24, 2012 01:49 PM (nXevY)

20 Slurs are funny.

Posted by: MaxMBJ at February 24, 2012 01:50 PM (deaac)

21
Richard Jeni, back in the '80's was a funny stand-up.

He did a bit on stereotypes. Jeni said stereotypes were good because they served as warnings in some cases. For example, stereotypes told you not to approach a Hell's Angel and say something stupid.

Jeni then went on to say stereotypes are, for the most part, accurate. Then he went on a funny riff:

"What, Chinese people don't all have straight black hair?"

Posted by: Soothsayer at February 24, 2012 01:50 PM (G/zuv)

22 Is our song still OK?






Turning Japanese

Posted by: The Vapors at February 24, 2012 01:50 PM (vRSeu)

23 Self-censorship.

The PC prigs have won.

Posted by: wiserbud at February 24, 2012 01:50 PM (gCa4h)

24 only 4? I guess they wanted to avoid theeggroll jokes.

Posted by: garrett at February 24, 2012 01:50 PM (6ooZ6)

25 Jeremy fans = Linch mobs

Posted by: Joe Mama at February 24, 2012 01:50 PM (l0jV9)

26
Question:

When years from now Jeremy Lin dies, where will he be linterred?


Posted by: Soothsayer at February 24, 2012 01:51 PM (G/zuv)

27 I'll just say, there's no way I could read those with a straight face.

There's no way I'd want to.

It's self-parody at it's finest.

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) SMOD 2012 at February 24, 2012 01:52 PM (8y9MW)

28 Hygiene: It is inappropriate to suggest that the opposing team played in a lackluster fashion due to Lin having urinated in their soft drinks.

Posted by: Hollowpoint at February 24, 2012 01:52 PM (SY2Kh)

29
Don't say he crushed that three pointer like a female baby.

Posted by: Ben at February 24, 2012 01:52 PM (wuv1c)

30 There's no way I'd want to.

Please tell me you didn't miss the joke.

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD 2012 at February 24, 2012 01:52 PM (VtjlW)

31 Chinese Food : Avoid comments like "Lin has feasted upon his opponents yet is hungry for more".

Posted by: Dr Spank at February 24, 2012 01:52 PM (Sh42X)

32
Anyone else bothered that the Knicks games are telecast by MSG?

The not-so-secret ingredient in most Chinese food?

Posted by: Joe Mama at February 24, 2012 01:53 PM (l0jV9)

33 "The crowd is chearing for Lin like 600 million screaming Chinamen."


"Last I heard there were a billion Chinamen."


"There _were_."

Posted by: Col. Andy Tanner at February 24, 2012 01:53 PM (vjyZP)

34 C'mon Horde, make with the funny. The HA commenters are coming up with good ones and we (by which I mean you) are way funnier than that.

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD 2012 at February 24, 2012 01:53 PM (VtjlW)

35 31 Chinese Food : Avoid comments like "Lin has feasted upon his opponents yet is hungry for more".
Posted by: Dr Spank at February 24, 2012 01:52 PM (Sh42X)


Or, "The only problem with watching Lin play is an hour later you want to do it again!"

Posted by: Insomniac at February 24, 2012 01:54 PM (v+QvA)

36 #28 re hygiene is threadwinner.

Posted by: wooga at February 24, 2012 01:54 PM (vjyZP)

37 Do not say: He'll score a basket now. Then another in an hour!

Posted by: Asian Journalists Guidelines at February 24, 2012 01:54 PM (0tkqC)

38
What's the slant on Lin's shooting?

Posted by: Joe Mama at February 24, 2012 01:54 PM (l0jV9)

39 Also, don't switch your r's and l's, as in "Jelemy Rin not velly good at lebounding".

Posted by: Guideline to Sensitivity About Asians at February 24, 2012 01:54 PM (hdBV+)

40 >>Do not say: He'll score a basket now. Then another in an hour!

You practice here four hour! You go home!

Posted by: HeatherRadish at February 24, 2012 01:55 PM (/kI1Q)

41 I'd love to see what the Taiwanese animator team can do with this.

Posted by: Temper Tantrum at February 24, 2012 01:55 PM (AWmfW)

42
Dice had a good one about Asians:

"Don't blame them; how good would you be able to drive with your eyes three-quarters shut?"

Posted by: Soothsayer at February 24, 2012 01:55 PM (G/zuv)

43
He's one in five billion

Posted by: Joe Mama at February 24, 2012 01:55 PM (l0jV9)

44 Jeremy Lin is too coolie to hang out with us, up here in the booth.

Posted by: ESPN at February 24, 2012 01:56 PM (/ZZCn)

45 Is President Pond Scum racist? I must know. This question fuels my concerns.

Posted by: flowers for Algae ponds at February 24, 2012 01:56 PM (IZTTb)

46 So saying "Snatch the pebble/basketball from my hand" is out?

Posted by: mpfs at February 24, 2012 01:56 PM (iYbLN)

47
Every time Lin misses a shot, do not say "ahhhh, Calgon, take me away!"

Posted by: Soothsayer at February 24, 2012 01:57 PM (G/zuv)

48 So Calgon won't be tapping Lin to be their pitchman?


www.youtube.com/watch?v=BJP5f-fsHrs

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at February 24, 2012 01:57 PM (Af3Wg)

49 Also avoid anything that sounds like it could be in a fortune cookie.

e.g. - "Jeremy Lin's Lucky Numbers: 10 pts, 7 assists, 2 rebounds "

Posted by: Guideline to Sensitivity About Asians at February 24, 2012 01:57 PM (hdBV+)

50 Lin stands against the NBA like a lone man in front of a tank.

Posted by: Lemmenkainen at February 24, 2012 01:57 PM (ZWvOb)

51 I guess using the plural of the banned/offensive word cannot be used?
Let me use it in a sentence. There was quite a few chunks in the armor.

Posted by: mpfs at February 24, 2012 01:58 PM (iYbLN)

52 Let's just hope nobodyaskswhether Lin will helphis teamstart a sports dynasty.

Posted by: sherlock at February 24, 2012 01:58 PM (8ra42)

53 Avoid stereotypes involving take-out Chinese food.

"Jeremy Lin sinks one from the free-throw line aaaand theeeeen..."

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) SMOD 2012 at February 24, 2012 01:58 PM (8y9MW)

54 I love this blog long time.

Posted by: Ammo Dump at February 24, 2012 01:58 PM (WUWb9)

55 The Knicks are playing so bad, it's like a death march out there!

Posted by: Asian Journalists Guidelines at February 24, 2012 01:58 PM (0tkqC)

56 Lin takes a Great Leap Forward.

Posted by: Lemmenkainen at February 24, 2012 01:59 PM (ZWvOb)

57 Can't believe "Me Chinese, me play joke, me put pee-pee in your Coke" didn't make it. That was de rigeur playground stuff in the early 90s.

Posted by: micmcn at February 24, 2012 01:59 PM (/3KtX)

58 Me love you Lin time has gotta be a joke.

Posted by: booger at February 24, 2012 01:59 PM (29wvc)

59 Cartwright, Cartwright, party of 4.

Posted by: resturant host at February 24, 2012 01:59 PM (2cfUo)

60 Whatever you do don't say that you could blindfold Jeremy Lin with dental floss.

Posted by: polynikes - Texan for Romney at February 24, 2012 01:59 PM (xJTAH)

61 What about " year of the draglin? "

Posted by: taylork at February 24, 2012 02:00 PM (5wsU9)

62 It's flied lice, you plicks.

Posted by: GnuBreed at February 24, 2012 02:00 PM (BhuDE)

63 The key to slurring is to do it before the PC crowd figures it out. Ten years ago Jimmy Fallon slurred gays on an SNL skit with, upon winning student council president he said, "That was the gayest thing I ever did."

Five years ago I was at Second City in Chicago and they did a bit mocking stereotypes that are really true and they hammered Asian women drivers.

A few years back VP Joe Biden said, ""You cannot go to a 7-11 or Dunkin Donuts unless you have a slight Indian Accent."

Fifty plus years ago LBJ said, "I'll have those [extreme taboo word here, starts with N] voting Democratic for the next 200 years."

So the lesson is, get your slurs in early. Here are some groups it's still okay to slur:

Fat people
Republicans
Tea Partiers
Rednecks
Rustics
Sarah Palin

Posted by: MaxMBJ at February 24, 2012 02:00 PM (deaac)

64 Sorry to go O/T so early, but I'm listening to Rush playing the Won's algae comments, and I can't get over how stupid what he said was on so many levels. The depths of such stupidity can never be plumbed. Wow.

Posted by: chique d'afrique (the artist formerly known as african chick) at February 24, 2012 02:00 PM (21lBC)

65 The armor is as strong as its weakest chink. Is that too obvious? I'm thinking it is. Its getting away from what we're trying to accomplish. So - no saying that armore is as strong as its weakest chink.

Posted by: Jimmah at February 24, 2012 02:00 PM (845uI)

66 Me love you Lin time has gotta be a joke.

I'm pretty sure some sports radio guys in NYC actually used that one.

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD 2012 at February 24, 2012 02:00 PM (VtjlW)

67 never say there's 2:30 left on the clock............

Posted by: phoenixgirl at work at February 24, 2012 02:00 PM (mfbqu)

68 Finally, avoid anything that plays into obvious, banal stereotypes:

"Jeremy Lin had a sparkling game last night and then named his children by dropping some forks down the stairs".

Posted by: Guideline to Sensitivity About Asians at February 24, 2012 02:01 PM (hdBV+)

69 There was quite a few chunks in the armor.


Sloth loves chunk!



And do not compare Lin to the little Asian kid from the Goonies.

Posted by: Richard "Data" Wang at February 24, 2012 02:01 PM (vjyZP)

70
I read through the list. In spite of the fact that it's nuts,assume those loons are serious.
How has it come to this? I gotta get out of this place. Not everyplace on earth is as paranoid/PC as America.

Posted by: Reactionary at February 24, 2012 02:01 PM (xUM1Q)

71 white coooocksuuuckkas !!!!!

Posted by: Mr. Woo at February 24, 2012 02:01 PM (2cfUo)

72
So the lesson is, get your slurs in early. Here are some groups it's still okay to slur:
...
Sarah Palin



Wait. What? There's more than one Sarah Palin? And Todd is keeping them all to himself!?

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) SMOD 2012 at February 24, 2012 02:01 PM (8y9MW)

73 A few years back VP Joe Biden said, ""You cannot go to a 7-11 or Dunkin Donuts unless you have a slight Indian Accent."

I'll donate to a */Jindal ticket just to watch Biden at the VP debate.

Posted by: AmishDude at February 24, 2012 02:01 PM (T0NGe)

74 I think the Asian Journalists Association (there's one?) is punking us.

Posted by: chique d'afrique (the artist formerly known as african chick) at February 24, 2012 02:01 PM (21lBC)

75 Lin is leading the way in a Cultural Revolution!

Posted by: MrCaniac at February 24, 2012 02:02 PM (1grxW)

76 So he's not a basketball ninja? Shit.

Posted by: joncelli at February 24, 2012 02:02 PM (RD7QR)

77 "ME LOVE YOU LIN TIME":

BWAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAH

What do I get for 5 dollas?

Posted by: blindside at February 24, 2012 02:02 PM (x7g7t)

78 So the sideways thing? Yes or no?

Posted by: dagny at February 24, 2012 02:02 PM (u50z0)

79 New Guidlelines For Avoiding Ethnic Slurs When Covering Jeremy Lin


I' got a few helpful suggestions... Wanna hear 'em?..

Posted by: Mel Brooks at February 24, 2012 02:03 PM (udEUT)

80 "Wait. What? There's more than one Sarah Palin? And Todd is keeping them all to himself!?"

She's a Cylon.

Posted by: MaxMBJ at February 24, 2012 02:03 PM (deaac)

81 Here are some groups it's still okay to slur:


Posted by: MaxMBJ at February 24, 2012 02:00 PM (deaac)

Don't forget retards! I did that one on TV!

Posted by: President F*ckstick at February 24, 2012 02:03 PM (hdBV+)

82 Wait. What? There's more than one Sarah Palin? And Todd is keeping them all to himself!?

Wouldn't you?

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD 2012 at February 24, 2012 02:03 PM (VtjlW)

83
With 2 you get pick 'n roll.

Posted by: Soothsayer at February 24, 2012 02:03 PM (G/zuv)

84 76 So he's not a basketball ninja? Shit.
Posted by: joncelli at February 24, 2012 02:02 PM (RD7QR)

Ninjas are Japanese, dammit.

Off to sensitivity training for you.

Posted by: blindside at February 24, 2012 02:03 PM (x7g7t)

85 #1 American Political Correctness
One dolla

Posted by: dagny at February 24, 2012 02:03 PM (u50z0)

86 "Oh, that first quarter was like riding in a coal car in the Temple of Doom."

Posted by: AmishDude at February 24, 2012 02:03 PM (T0NGe)

87 Chris, Lin applied some extra starch to that 3-pointer!

Posted by: Dick Vitalis at February 24, 2012 02:04 PM (vbh31)

88 Papa-papa-papa-papa-ooh-MAO-MAO.

I denounce myself.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at February 24, 2012 02:04 PM (Af3Wg)

89 42

Dice had a good one about Asians:
"Don't blame them; how good would you be able to drive with your eyes three-quarters shut?"

----------------

The rest of the Diceman joke: "you can blindfold them with dental floss"

Posted by: real joe at February 24, 2012 02:04 PM (EFS7w)

90 Fat people
Republicans
Tea Partiers
Rednecks
Rustics
Sarah Palin

Posted by: MaxMBJ at February 24, 2012 02:00 PM (deaac)

Is this list exhaustive?

Posted by: blindside at February 24, 2012 02:04 PM (x7g7t)

91 Is Long Duck Dong longer an allowed name in a movie?

Posted by: dogfish at February 24, 2012 02:04 PM (N2yhW)

92 Income: Suggestions that Lin is compensated not with legal tender but instead with "gold" in the popular computer game "World of Warcraft" is neither factual or appropriate.

Posted by: Hollowpoint at February 24, 2012 02:04 PM (SY2Kh)

93 I have an idea: just ignore that he's Chinese. No speech codes. Don't avoid normal metaphors like 'chink in the armor' just because some people can't compartmentalize like adults and accept the correct meaning, and don't go out of your way to make race jokes, either.

Simple.

Then we can just forget all these lame old jokes. Why does society need to be reminds of them? That millions of people had no idea about this 'chink' thing was a good thing.

Posted by: Dustin at February 24, 2012 02:04 PM (wcT+8)

94 What do I get for 5 dollas?



And everytime a black player knocks Lin over, it's "he was just too beaucoup for Lin"

Posted by: wooga at February 24, 2012 02:04 PM (vjyZP)

95
Big Trouble in Little High Tops

Posted by: Jack Burton at February 24, 2012 02:04 PM (l0jV9)

96 'resist the temptation to refer to an "Asian who knows how to drive."'

I seem to have lost my code book, is there some inherent humour about Asian not being able to drive ?

Posted by: Sir Arthur at February 24, 2012 02:05 PM (e8kgV)

97 Please to not say Lin is Knick's number one son.

Posted by: Charlie Chan at February 24, 2012 02:05 PM (Hx5uv)

98 "Those Knicks are fast as lightening!"

Posted by: AmishDude at February 24, 2012 02:05 PM (T0NGe)

99 never say.....lin is sitting on "de fence" trying to make a dolla outta 50 cents

i denounce myself

Posted by: phoenixgirl at work at February 24, 2012 02:05 PM (mfbqu)

100 *facepalm*

Honestly, I feel sorry for Lin in all this. It's not his fault some twit had an incredibly STUPID lapse in judgement and decided to use a slur in a headline (for which he quickly and sincerely apologized). Now Lin's found himself as the centerpiece of this whole stupid racial hooplah thathe never asked for. It's gotta seriously charles Blow.

That said, this list? Friggin' HILARIOUS.

Also, seriously? There are people who don't know that "chink" is a slur? I hate even typing it! See, I'm not a leftist, so I don't need to use slurs.

(Well, unless I'm demeaning someone worth demeaning, like the loony goatfuckers in A-stan.)

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Hobbit and ABO supporter at February 24, 2012 02:05 PM (4df7R)

101 "Is this list exhaustive?"

Nah. It has already been pointed out I forgot retards. Please add others.

Posted by: MaxMBJ at February 24, 2012 02:06 PM (deaac)

102
>>>> You're writing about a basketball player. Don't conflate his skills with judo, karate, tae kwon do, etc.<<<<<<

Oh, come on guideline writers, this one is really silly. Talk about allusions to racism, Asians are the only people who practice martial arts?

Posted by: Guy Mohawk at February 24, 2012 02:06 PM (r+9M6)

103
They also want journalists to avoid stuff like "Jeremy Lin Adds Up Big" because it is a reference to the stereotype that Asians are good at math.

Posted by: Soothsayer at February 24, 2012 02:06 PM (G/zuv)

104 Bet his parents are happy they aborted their first two girl babies now, huh?

Posted by: wiserbud at February 24, 2012 02:06 PM (gCa4h)

105 Ha,
Here comes my leftover bad joke from the prior thread.

Whats the next order of magnitude down from jack shit? Jack squat is the order of magnitude above jack shit.

centi-jack then doodly-squat then milli-doodly then the nomenclature splits.
American = damn near nuttin.
English = fuck all.
Australian = fook all.

Thank you, no veal on Fridays.

Posted by: DaveA at February 24, 2012 02:06 PM (2eUbq)

106 57 Can't believe "Me Chinese, me play joke, me put pee-pee in your Coke" didn't make it. That was de rigeur playground stuff in the early 90s.
Posted by: micmcn at February 24, 2012 01:59 PM (/3KtX)


Don't forget"My mother is Chinese (pull eyes up) My father is Japanese (pull eyes down) and I am both (pull oneeye up and one down)" Laugh. I'm sure all the halfchinesehalfjapanese in the Virginia suburbs were offended in 1968.

Posted by: dagny at February 24, 2012 02:06 PM (u50z0)

107 And for goodness sake don't point out that this oppressed minority is being paid at least 500,000 a year.

Posted by: polynikes - Texan for Romney at February 24, 2012 02:06 PM (xJTAH)

108
He's taking the Heat to the cleaners tonight!

Posted by: Jack Burton at February 24, 2012 02:06 PM (l0jV9)

109 Shao-lin dunks?

Posted by: taylork at February 24, 2012 02:06 PM (5wsU9)

110 He stole that pass like snatching pebbles from a master's hand

Posted by: grasshoppa at February 24, 2012 02:07 PM (2cfUo)

111 @63 - You forgot Christians of all stripes and those belonging to Christian-like religions.

Posted by: chique d'afrique (the artist formerly known as african chick) at February 24, 2012 02:07 PM (21lBC)

112 I seem to have lost my code book, is there some inherent humour about Asian not being able to drive ?
Posted by: Sir Arthur at February 24, 2012 02:05 PM (e8kgV)

Yes, the stereotype is Asian wimminz can't drive worth a damn.

Stereotypes exist for a reason and are often valid.

Notice there isn't a stereotypes about...oooo I almost went there.

I denounce myself.

Posted by: blindside at February 24, 2012 02:07 PM (x7g7t)

113 "Well, who's that in the stands?"

"Oh, that's Jeremy Lin's sister...it's his daughter...it's his sister...it's his daughter...it's his sister AND his daughter..."

Posted by: AmishDude at February 24, 2012 02:07 PM (T0NGe)

114 I grew up in a smallish suburban town with a shitload of Asians, and it is an incontrovertible fact that they can't drive for shit. It'a stone fucking cold reality.

Posted by: Deuce at February 24, 2012 02:07 PM (E55AK)

115 never talk about dirty knees........

Posted by: phoenixgirl at work at February 24, 2012 02:07 PM (mfbqu)

116 One grain of luck sometimes worth more than whole rice field of wisdom.

Posted by: Charlie Chan at February 24, 2012 02:08 PM (Hx5uv)

117 No ticky no shirty

Really you can go on forever.

Posted by: dagny at February 24, 2012 02:08 PM (u50z0)

118 Can we say he has "cat like reflexes"?

Posted by: MrCaniac at February 24, 2012 02:08 PM (1grxW)

119 <<I seem to have lost my code book, is there some inherent humour about Asian not being able to drive ?>>

There's a huge stereotype that Asian women, in particular, cannot drive. Hell, there's a mall in China that has extra large parking spaces for women to use. I'm sure that's for no reason whatsoever.

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD 2012 at February 24, 2012 02:08 PM (VtjlW)

120 So this guy plays basketball, and he's Chinese? That's like a cultural revolution, isn't it?

Posted by: BurtTC at February 24, 2012 02:08 PM (TOk1P)

121 Unacceptable headline: "Lin key to victory"

Reason: Plays on stereotype of Chinese children and piano lessons

Posted by: MaxMBJ at February 24, 2012 02:08 PM (deaac)

122
# 1 Myth Asian men cant jump. Just take a look at Jeremy Lin. Hes averaging 20 points a game and 7 assists.

#2 Myth Athletes are not smart. Take another look at Jeremy Lin, a graduate of Harvard.

Posted by: Sir Arthur at February 24, 2012 02:09 PM (e8kgV)

123 MARTIAL ARTS: You're writing about a basketball player. Don't
conflate his skills with judo, karate, tae kwon do, etc. Do not refer to
Lin as "Grasshopper" or similar names associated with martial-arts
stereotypes.



Or I'll kick your ass.

Posted by: Chuck Norris at February 24, 2012 02:09 PM (N2yhW)

124 Forget it Jake, it's the New York Knicks.

Posted by: AmishDude at February 24, 2012 02:09 PM (T0NGe)

125
You can't say "Lightning Quick" for white guys because it is a slur for people who live in the mountains making illegal liquor.

Posted by: Guy Mohawk, writing the white guideline rules at February 24, 2012 02:09 PM (r+9M6)

126 do not call him grasshopper.....

Posted by: phoenixgirl at work at February 24, 2012 02:09 PM (mfbqu)

127 How come the Knicks always win their games now, and never Taiwan?

Posted by: sherlock at February 24, 2012 02:09 PM (8ra42)

128 115 never talk about dirty knees........
Posted by: phoenixgirl at work at February 24, 2012 02:07 PM (mfbqu)

LMAO. I haven't thought of that one in years. I still remember

'LOOK AT THESE'!

Posted by: blindside at February 24, 2012 02:10 PM (x7g7t)

129 He moves like he's on the set of Crouching Tiger Hidden Draglin.

Posted by: taylork at February 24, 2012 02:10 PM (5wsU9)

130 blindside

lol.......

Posted by: phoenixgirl at work at February 24, 2012 02:10 PM (mfbqu)

131 In the 90s I was watching some comedian on TV when they had renamed the red in the Crayola box away from "Indian Red" to be more PC. The comedian wanted to rename all the colors for stereotypes. "Cracka White" "Lazyass Brown" "Indian Red" "Can't Fucking Drive Yellow"

I laughed till I cried. I didn't see that last one coming and it hadn't been that long since Andrew Dice Clay.

Posted by: dagny at February 24, 2012 02:11 PM (u50z0)

132 I guess the "How do you blindfold an Asian? With dental floss. "jokes are out too

Posted by: Sir Arthur at February 24, 2012 02:11 PM (e8kgV)

133 # 1 Myth Asian men cant jump. Just take a look at Jeremy Lin. Hes averaging 20 points a game and 7 assists.


I'm with you there.

#2 Myth Athletes are not smart. Take another look at Jeremy Lin, a graduate of Harvard.

I'm sorry, but that proves nothing. In fact, I'd be more impressed if he graduated from Directional Podunk State University, where passing is more than registering for the course and being somewhere in its vague vicinity when the exam takes place.

Posted by: AmishDude at February 24, 2012 02:11 PM (T0NGe)

134 21
Richard Jeni, back in the '80's was a funny stand-up.

He did a bit on stereotypes. Jeni said stereotypes were good because they served as warnings in some cases. For example, stereotypes told you not to approach a Hell's Angel and say something stupid.

Jeni then went on to say stereotypes are, for the most part, accurate. Then he went on a funny riff:

"What, Chinese people don't all have straight black hair?"

Back in the early 90s when The Onion was still just in Madison, I think, they had an article "Stereotypes Save Time" that listed a bunch of things to look for in different ethnic groups. It was hilarious. I wish they would have put that online.

Posted by: passably affable at February 24, 2012 02:11 PM (nXevY)

135 gotta be a working on the railroad joke in here someplace

Posted by: grasshoppa at February 24, 2012 02:11 PM (2cfUo)

136 <<And for goodness sake don't point out that this oppressed minority is being paid at least 500,000 a year.>>

He's making NBA minimum which I believe is upwards of $700k. Though that's probably chump change next to what some of the bond traders he went to school with are making.

I agree with whoever it was who says he feels bad for Lin being thrown in the middle of this shit storm. From what I've seen, and I've watched a ton of the coverage, he isn't the one acting all shocked and offended about this.

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD 2012 at February 24, 2012 02:12 PM (VtjlW)

137 When I originally read this I thought it was meant tongue in cheek.




"Romney: My Wife Drives A Couple Of Cadillacs" http://tinyurl.com/7gv96xt
This hit fast.

Posted by: jeremy lin fan at February 24, 2012 02:12 PM (oZfic)

138 Unacceptable headline: "Lin, Knicks bow out of tourney"

Reason: Plays on stereotype of Chinese kids and violin lessons

Posted by: MaxMBJ at February 24, 2012 02:12 PM (deaac)

139 Other teams have determined that, in order to guardLin they must have a defender play like himthey're joined at the hip.

Posted by: BurtTC at February 24, 2012 02:12 PM (TOk1P)

140 .....do not refer to him as the great wall of china

Posted by: phoenixgirl at work at February 24, 2012 02:12 PM (mfbqu)

141 I guess the "Confucius Says ... Man who stand on toilet high on pot" jokes are out too

Posted by: Sir Arthur at February 24, 2012 02:13 PM (e8kgV)

142 Oh God, I'm going to get beaten to shit for this. *sigh*

Jeremy Lin isn't Chinese, he's an American born to Taiwanese parents. They emigrated to Cali in... crap, the 60's or 70's, I can't remember which. Anyway, he was born in California.

There. I am now removing my "concern troll" hat and preparing for the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune that will no doubt be hurled at me for my pedantry.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Hobbit and ABO supporter at February 24, 2012 02:13 PM (4df7R)

143 Can. Not. Believe.


These idiots actually refer to black NBA players as having emigrated from Africa?

Posted by: NC Ref at February 24, 2012 02:13 PM (/izg2)

144 Unacceptable headline: "Lin sits, Knicks win"

Reason: Plays on stereotype of Chinese being SAT whizzes (sat is past tense of sit)

Posted by: MaxMBJ at February 24, 2012 02:13 PM (deaac)

145 mwr

he's an "abc"

Posted by: phoenixgirl at work at February 24, 2012 02:14 PM (mfbqu)

146 He made that 3 pointer! Someone must have removed the dental floss! (They forgot that one)

Posted by: dagny at February 24, 2012 02:14 PM (u50z0)

147 I'm sorry, but that proves nothing. In fact, I'd be more impressed if he
graduated from Directional Podunk State University, where passing is
more than registering for the course and being somewhere in its vague
vicinity when the exam takes place.
I think Lin went to harvard and graduated with like 3.1 GPA or something. He wasn't at basketball factory U

Posted by: Asian Journalists Guidelines at February 24, 2012 02:14 PM (0tkqC)

148 when he gets pushed to the floor...no references to chinese takeout

Posted by: phoenixgirl at work at February 24, 2012 02:14 PM (mfbqu)

149 114
I grew up in a smallish suburban town with a shitload of Asians, and it
is an incontrovertible fact that they can't drive for shit. It'a stone
fucking cold reality.


Posted by: Deuce at February 24, 2012 02:07 PM (E55AK)



I live in Asia for 5 years....and boy howdy are they the worst drivers.

Posted by: Tami at February 24, 2012 02:14 PM (X6akg)

150 Saying the score is knotted up is racist. If by racist you mean embarrassing.

Posted by: Zombie David Carradine at February 24, 2012 02:15 PM (udEUT)

151 Given that the Japanese are the absolute gold standard of racist, and the chinese look like the japanese. I say fuck 'em if they can't take a joke.

Posted by: Jimmah at February 24, 2012 02:15 PM (845uI)

152 when his uniform is bloodied not references to him doing laundry all night............

Posted by: phoenixgirl at work at February 24, 2012 02:15 PM (mfbqu)

153 >>#2 Myth Athletes are not smart. Take another look at Jeremy Lin, a graduate of Harvard.

I sifted through this box of yellow marbles and found a green marble. Thus, no marbles are yellow.

Posted by: HeatherRadish at February 24, 2012 02:15 PM (/kI1Q)

154 I guess the "Man who run in front of car get tired ... Man who run behind car get exhausted" lines are out too

Posted by: Sir Arthur at February 24, 2012 02:15 PM (e8kgV)

155 Lin plays chess while his opponents are playing Chinese checkers.

Posted by: Lemmenkainen at February 24, 2012 02:16 PM (ZWvOb)

156 148 when he gets pushed to the floor...no references to chinese takeout

Posted by: phoenixgirl at work at February 24, 2012 02:14 PM (mfbqu)

Okay, THAT'S a keeper. LOL!

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Hobbit and ABO supporter at February 24, 2012 02:16 PM (4df7R)

157 Goddamn Mongorians tearin down my shitty warr

Posted by: eastvalleyphx is delurking at February 24, 2012 02:16 PM (qiOph)

158 Obama is a stuttering clusterfu*ck of a miserable failure.

Posted by: steevy at February 24, 2012 02:16 PM (vd4t0)

159 Do not conflate taking a charge to standing in front of a tank in Tienanmen square.

Posted by: taylork at February 24, 2012 02:16 PM (5wsU9)

160 They won't take Lin arrive!

Posted by: Lemmenkainen at February 24, 2012 02:16 PM (ZWvOb)

161 Confucius say: Go to bed with itchyheinny wake up with smelly finger.

(College son is having to take Philosophy. They mentioned Confucius. He can think of nothing but his father's above exhortion).

Posted by: dagny at February 24, 2012 02:16 PM (u50z0)

162 Funny PC thing that happened while I was overseas one year. Liberal Americans who were teaching with me kept referring to the African students as "African-American." One day a young man from Cameroon raised his hand in a forum and said, "We're not Americans."

Epiphany!

Posted by: MaxMBJ at February 24, 2012 02:16 PM (deaac)

163 if he's not hustling down court..........the coach may not say "chop chop"

Posted by: phoenixgirl at work at February 24, 2012 02:16 PM (mfbqu)

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Hobbit and ABO supporter at February 24, 2012 02:16 PM (4df7R)

165 Jeremy Lin isn't Chinese, he's an American born to Taiwanese parents.

We know (well, most of us do). That's what makes the whole PC thing so funny (and really stupid).

Posted by: AmishDude at February 24, 2012 02:17 PM (T0NGe)

166 >>Anyway, he was born in California.

So all these jokes should be in Spanish!

Posted by: HeatherRadish at February 24, 2012 02:17 PM (/kI1Q)

167 I worked for Tokio Marine,a Japanese insurance company and handled auto claims from their expatriates in the US and also drove as a passenger with a number of them.

It's not just the women.

Posted by: polynikes - Texan for Romney at February 24, 2012 02:17 PM (xJTAH)

168
Taiwan is part of China, we just pretending for now. Also we own you.

Posted by: Wen Jiabao at February 24, 2012 02:17 PM (r+9M6)

169
When providing voiceovers for highlights of Jeremy Lin in which his opponent is driving to the net, do NOT say...

"No tickee..." as his opponent shoots, followed by

"NO LAUNDRY!!!" when Lin blocks the shot.

Posted by: Empire of Jeff at February 24, 2012 02:17 PM (BushJ)

170 Don't use the word "Fluctuations"

Flustered, the man responded, "Well fluck choo crazy Americans too!"

Posted by: Sir Arthur at February 24, 2012 02:17 PM (e8kgV)

171 three point shots may not be followed with......lin was all over that shot like white on rice..............

Posted by: phoenixgirl at work at February 24, 2012 02:18 PM (mfbqu)

172 166 >>Anyway, he was born in California.So all these jokes should be in Spanish!
Posted by: HeatherRadish at February 24, 2012 02:17 PM (/kI1Q)

Extreme LOL

Posted by: dagny at February 24, 2012 02:19 PM (u50z0)

173 We know (well, most of us do). That's what makes the whole PC thing so funny (and really stupid).

Posted by: AmishDude at February 24, 2012 02:17 PM (T0NGe)


I figured. But hey, I'm a Libra/Scorpio, which means I obsess over little details. Hee!

Honestly, if I were Lin I'd be more annoyed about people referring to me as "Chinese" instead of "Taiwanese." Not like there's much love lost between the two, what with China always wanting to take Taiwan back like a pair of well-pressed pants that managed to escape their laundry.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Hobbit and ABO supporter at February 24, 2012 02:19 PM (4df7R)

174 Wonder if Mao Christmas ornament are out?

Posted by: dagny at February 24, 2012 02:19 PM (u50z0)

175 I sifted through this box of yellow marbles and found a green marble. Thus, no marbles are yellow.

My God! Have you ever considered Harvard Law School?

Posted by: AmishDude at February 24, 2012 02:19 PM (T0NGe)

176 No one mention Mao as anyone's "favorite philosopher"

Posted by: dagny at February 24, 2012 02:20 PM (u50z0)

177 when thrown to the floor......absolutely no reference to being laid out like an oriental rug..............

Posted by: phoenixgirl at work at February 24, 2012 02:20 PM (mfbqu)

178
On an airball, do not say "he shot that like he was wearing a chinese finger trap".

Posted by: Guy Mohawk at February 24, 2012 02:21 PM (r+9M6)

179 lin does not get his plays from the little red book.........

Posted by: phoenixgirl at work at February 24, 2012 02:21 PM (mfbqu)

180 Think about it, when he's on the court, one out of every five Knicks players is Chinese!

Posted by: BurtTC at February 24, 2012 02:21 PM (TOk1P)

181 no reference to the opposing team breaking through him like rice paper..........

Posted by: phoenixgirl at work at February 24, 2012 02:22 PM (mfbqu)

182
"Kung Fu Fighting" shall NOT be played during highlights of team brawls in which Jeremy Lin is a participant.

This includes the Jack Black remake.

Posted by: Empire of Jeff at February 24, 2012 02:22 PM (BushJ)

183 We denounce the Asian-American Journolists Association for this thinly-disguised example of racism-attempting-not-to-be-racism.

(Disclaimer: This in no way has anything to do with the fact that we, the Association of Asian-American Journolists, used to be part of the Asian-American Journolists Association. But we were first.)

Posted by: Association of Asian-American Journolists at February 24, 2012 02:22 PM (Y5I9o)

184 Have not seen chinese drivers but have seen arabic drivers and find it very hard to believe it can be worse. Any video will show that apparently hitting other cars is a normal part of driving.

Posted by: Jimmah at February 24, 2012 02:22 PM (845uI)

185 I saw this article and immediately thought of a scene with the late Phil Hartmann from CB4.

"The word 'ho' may only be used when referring to a gardening tool.

The word 'bitch' may only be used when referring to a female dog and, then, only when in heat.

And under no circumstances are you allowed to perform the song 'Sweat On My Balls'"

Posted by: Brandon In Baton Rouge at February 24, 2012 02:22 PM (e0xKF)

186 >>My God! Have you ever considered Harvard Law School?

I know--brains like that, I could edit their Law Review. If only I had more melanin.

Posted by: HeatherRadish at February 24, 2012 02:23 PM (/kI1Q)

187 #143 I think they were referring to actual African players like Dikembe Mutombo and Hakeem Olajuwan, not American-born black players.

Posted by: rockmom at February 24, 2012 02:23 PM (aBlZ1)

188 Lin just exploded out of the chute like yesterdays Kung Pao chicken!

Posted by: NBA announcer at February 24, 2012 02:23 PM (/Mla1)

189 AJapanese acquiantence of mine loves tojoke about getting pulled over by the cops for "DWA". For his sake, I only wish it was true: he is a terrifyingly inattentive driver - he is alwaystaking his eyes off the roadtotalk to someone in the car, even someone in the rear seat!

Posted by: sherlock at February 24, 2012 02:23 PM (8ra42)

190
Do not refer to the Knicks having a dynasty if they keep winning.

Posted by: Guy Mohawk at February 24, 2012 02:23 PM (r+9M6)

191 new york will never be called "oh gee lin city"

Posted by: phoenixgirl at work at February 24, 2012 02:24 PM (mfbqu)

192 What a pic by Lin, Chris! You could have pulled a rickshaw through that open lane to the hoop!

Posted by: Dick Vitalis at February 24, 2012 02:24 PM (vbh31)

193 When Lin does a wicked crossover, you cannot say he left his opponent's laundry on the floor....

Posted by: rockmom at February 24, 2012 02:25 PM (aBlZ1)

194 I sifted through this box of yellow marbles and found a green marble. Thus, no marbles are yellow.


"Yellow"...uh-oh..

Posted by: Association of Asian-American Journolists at February 24, 2012 02:25 PM (Y5I9o)

195 he's seeing red tonight!

Posted by: phoenixgirl at work at February 24, 2012 02:25 PM (mfbqu)

196
So I suppose "his defense was like the great wall" is right out then?

Posted by: Guy Mohawk at February 24, 2012 02:26 PM (r+9M6)

197 If you want to hear a funny Asian-American tell stories of people's perception of him as an Asian, listen to Henry Cho. If you're just listening and not watching him you might think you have the wrong guy. His Alabama accent is pretty thick.

Posted by: polynikes - Texan for Romney at February 24, 2012 02:26 PM (xJTAH)

198 The Knicks now actually HAVE a Chinaman's chance of making the playoffs!

I denounce myself.

Posted by: rockmom at February 24, 2012 02:26 PM (aBlZ1)

199 Our computers in the booth just went down. Someone get Lin up here.

Posted by: NBA announcer at February 24, 2012 02:26 PM (/Mla1)

200 Maybe if he got rid of the 13" black and white TV by his locker and stopped showing up for games with his 30 man crew in the long white van a lot of this stuff would just go away.

Posted by: ontherocks at February 24, 2012 02:26 PM (ZJCDy)

201
He blocked that shot like rejecting cooking with MSG.

Posted by: Guy Mohawk at February 24, 2012 02:27 PM (r+9M6)

202 He could have build a railroad from NY to LA by the time anyone got up there to block that shot.

Posted by: NBA announcer at February 24, 2012 02:28 PM (/Mla1)

203 we call that the old peking duck.,,,,,,

Posted by: phoenixgirl at work at February 24, 2012 02:28 PM (mfbqu)

204
The more I read the funny stuff here, I think Lin should actually request that announcers and writers use this stuff.

Posted by: Guy Mohawk at February 24, 2012 02:28 PM (r+9M6)

205 199 Our computers in the booth just went down. Someone get Lin up here.

Posted by: NBA announcer at February 24, 2012 02:26 PM (/Mla1)


LMAO!

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Hobbit and ABO supporter at February 24, 2012 02:29 PM (4df7R)

206 I'm waiting for Meghan McCain to weigh in on the Lin situation.

Posted by: mpfs at February 24, 2012 02:29 PM (iYbLN)

207 Apparently "Gook B*stard is A-OK though.

Posted by: Oldcat at February 24, 2012 02:30 PM (z1N6a)

208 206 I'm waiting for Meghan McCain to weigh in on the Lin situation.

Posted by: mpfs at February 24, 2012 02:29 PM (iYbLN)


One must not use the term "weigh in" when referencing Meghan McCain. It's derogatory toward fat sluts.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Hobbit and ABO supporter at February 24, 2012 02:30 PM (4df7R)

209 "Thlee Pointer" is right out.

Posted by: Oldcat at February 24, 2012 02:30 PM (z1N6a)

210 208

Point taken.


Or is that phrase considered a Lin slur too?

Posted by: mpfs at February 24, 2012 02:31 PM (iYbLN)

211 he just got called for "wok-ing"

Posted by: phoenixgirl at work at February 24, 2012 02:31 PM (mfbqu)

212 Sooooo, let's say that Lin grabs some guy by the shirt. They're in the paint, there's a scuffle.

Color commentary along the lines of, for example, ""Him collar no vely good starchy!"

... that would be ... like, against the rules? Is that what you're trying to tell me?

Just trying to get a handle on the new regime here.

Posted by: Phinn at February 24, 2012 02:31 PM (KNtHw)

213 How about I just call Meggie a fat, ignorant cow with big teets?

Posted by: mpfs at February 24, 2012 02:32 PM (iYbLN)

214 I hate people who take themselves too seriously. Yea, most of those "off-limit" phrases are stupid, and not really funny, but come on asian-american journalists. I have Muscular Dystrophy so I guess I should stop referring to myself as a gimp since it is derogatory and demeaning. Hell, I've regularly joked about being handicapped since I was 10, and don't get worked up if someone says something mean, because being a gimp doesn't define whoI am.

I like to think Jeremy Lin is a well adjusted individual and that he is smart enough, he is a Harvard grad, to know that he is more than just his skin tone and ethnicity. The writers of this list are almost as big SCOAMFs as Obama.

Posted by: hueydiamondpooty at February 24, 2012 02:32 PM (YhZFe)

215 Gimme your 2" of yellow steel, baby!

Posted by: Kate Upton at February 24, 2012 02:33 PM (kwAf2)

216 Stuart Scott was suspended for opining that Lin "Must be soy sauce, 'cause he's on an eggroll!"

Posted by: Empire of Jeff at February 24, 2012 02:33 PM (BushJ)

217 189.... he is a terrifyingly inattentive driver - he is alwaystaking his eyes off the road to talk to someone in the car, even someone in the rear seat!Posted by: sherlock at February 24, 2012 02:23 PM (8ra42)Hmmm....somewhere in my husband'sGermanic family tree, someone must have gotten a little "strange" on the side.....

Posted by: Teresa in Fort Worth, TX at February 24, 2012 02:33 PM (0xqzf)

218 lin can be sweet n sour.....

Posted by: phoenixgirl at work at February 24, 2012 02:33 PM (mfbqu)

219 What, no happy ending?

Posted by: teh wind at February 24, 2012 02:34 PM (HBU8E)

220 lin is scoring like an all you can eat chinese buffet!

Posted by: phoenixgirl at work at February 24, 2012 02:35 PM (mfbqu)

221 So I suppose when Bard of Laketown killed Smaug by hitting him in a bare spot on his chest scales with the Black Arrow, I should avoid saying...

Posted by: Bilbo - short, gassy, and racist at February 24, 2012 02:35 PM (inyeF)

222 83 With 2 you get pick 'n roll.
Posted by: Soothsayer at February 24, 2012 02:03 PM (G/zuv)

Best so far!

Posted by: Jack Burton Mercer at February 24, 2012 02:36 PM (zEHWj)

223 How about I just call Meggie a fat, ignorant cow with big teets?


Posted by: mpfs at February 24, 2012 02:32 PM (iYbLN)


The Cow Lobby wants to have a word with you on that....

Posted by: Oldcat at February 24, 2012 02:37 PM (z1N6a)

224 197 If you want to hear a funny Asian-American tell stories of people's perception of him as an Asian, listen to Henry Cho. If you're just listening and not watching him you might think you have the wrong guy. His Alabama Tennesseee accent is pretty thick.

FIFY...Henry's from Knoxville, born and raised, his wife is from Arab, Alabama. But good point; plus he's a "clean" comedian and very funny.

Posted by: Country Singer at February 24, 2012 02:38 PM (L8r/r)

225
I hired an Asian hooker, but she was two hours late. When she arrived, she said Ruv you wrong time.

Ok, I denounce myself.

Posted by: I R A Darth Aggie at February 24, 2012 02:39 PM (1hM1d)

226 Thanks #224 Country Singer . I knew there was an Alabama connection in there somewhere. Besides all rednecks sound alike.

Posted by: polynikes - Texan for Romney at February 24, 2012 02:41 PM (xJTAH)

227 After that last turnover, Lin sits on the bench looking like an Apple factory worker after a double shift.

Posted by: rockmom at February 24, 2012 02:41 PM (aBlZ1)

228 Jeremy "China syndrome" Lin.

Posted by: Temper Tantrum at February 24, 2012 02:42 PM (AWmfW)

229
Is it ok to use "fire drill " ???

Posted by: saltine at February 24, 2012 02:45 PM (2cfUo)

230 Hey, hey, how about some Wu-mentum! Get Wu-sane in the membrane!


oh...just fuck it.

Posted by: David Wu at February 24, 2012 02:45 PM (SzAZ7)

231 Do not adapt the Mulan song to " Let's get down to business and defeat the suns"

Posted by: phoenixgirl at February 24, 2012 02:45 PM (mfbqu)

232 These guidelines on what and what not to say are a slippery...

Posted by: Dr. Varno at February 24, 2012 02:45 PM (QMtmy)

233 if he takes a step without dribbling, would he be whistled for wokking ?

Posted by: saltine at February 24, 2012 02:46 PM (2cfUo)

234 With three you get egg roll !

Posted by: VW Zao at February 24, 2012 02:46 PM (7t0Cg)

235
Little. Yellow. Different.

Posted by: Dr. Varno at February 24, 2012 02:46 PM (QMtmy)

236
do not mention the "creame of sum yun gui"

Posted by: saltine at February 24, 2012 02:49 PM (2cfUo)

237 Has anyone asked Steven Chu about this rissue?

Posted by: mpfs at February 24, 2012 02:50 PM (iYbLN)

238 Soooo, you're saying I can't bring one of those little gongs to the game and bang it every time Lin scores?

That's, like, offensive or something?

Spell it out for me here. Help me understand.

Posted by: Phinn at February 24, 2012 02:50 PM (KNtHw)

239 Will yellow post-it notes be banned?

Posted by: mpfs at February 24, 2012 02:51 PM (iYbLN)

240 Lin is beating the americans like they owed him money.....see because we borrowed lots of money from the chinese or somthing....

Posted by: saltine at February 24, 2012 02:51 PM (2cfUo)

241 Wax on, wax off!!

Universal exclamation.

Posted by: alppuccino at February 24, 2012 02:52 PM (G7VgX)

242 When the Knicks win will Lin give out the numbers to play the lottery?

Posted by: mpfs at February 24, 2012 02:53 PM (iYbLN)

243
There. I am now removing my "concern troll" hat and preparing for the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune that will no doubt be hurled at me for my pedantry.
Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Hobbit and ABO supporter at February 24, 2012 02:13 PM (4df7R)

Well, we have to have all the ethnicity/race labels (asian american, indian-american, black-american).

The reason being that we all know that true American's are all white.

I denounce myself.


Posted by: blindside at February 24, 2012 02:53 PM (x7g7t)

244 197 If you want to hear a funny Asian-American tell stories of people's perception of him as an Asian, listen to Henry Cho. If you're just listening and not watching him you might think you have the wrong guy. His Alabama accent is pretty thick.
Posted by: polynikes - Texan for Romney at February 24, 2012 02:26 PM (xJTAH)

I thought he was from TN.

The first time I heard him speak, I did a double-take.

And the dude was funny, too.

Posted by: blindside at February 24, 2012 02:54 PM (x7g7t)

245 The Twinkie Defense.

Posted by: Dr. Varno at February 24, 2012 02:54 PM (QMtmy)

246 233 if he takes a step without dribbling, would he be whistled for wokking ?
Posted by: saltine at February 24, 2012 02:46 PM (2cfUo)

LMAO! Thanks!

Posted by: blindside at February 24, 2012 02:55 PM (x7g7t)

247
Would the AAJA listing be considered "yellow journalism"?

Posted by: Dr. Varno at February 24, 2012 03:00 PM (QMtmy)

248 His no-look passes are inscrutable.


Posted by: skinbad at February 24, 2012 03:00 PM (OLcuX)

249 Lin stuck that three pointer like he was Hung like a Hun in Magic's underwear!

Posted by: Charles M. Blow at February 24, 2012 03:04 PM (r2PLg)

250 Do not imply that "he must know" Hines Wald.

Posted by: spongeworthy at February 24, 2012 03:05 PM (puy4B)

251 Another Mao Tse Dunk!

Posted by: VW Zao at February 24, 2012 03:12 PM (7t0Cg)

252 BUDDA: avoid references to Budda like "Lin sets up for a foul shot like Budda"

Posted by: Oilman Joe at February 24, 2012 03:17 PM (e8kgV)

253 What a bunch of "eggs" ... white on the outside but ...

Posted by: Oilman Joe at February 24, 2012 03:18 PM (e8kgV)

254 Avoid: "It's like the court slopes down hill for Lin."

Posted by: Phil Smith at February 24, 2012 03:24 PM (gMPJM)

255 Avoid: "That was an easy dink shot for Lin".

Posted by: Phil Smith at February 24, 2012 03:25 PM (gMPJM)

256 boxer....i got nuttin

Posted by: jdogg at February 24, 2012 03:28 PM (2cfUo)

257 #251 OK you owe me a new monitor....

Posted by: rockmom at February 24, 2012 03:38 PM (aBlZ1)

258 Do not say;"Lin is feasting on this defense like their a litter of cats!!"
Do not say; "Lin scores a lay up after a Great Leap Forward!"

Posted by: UGAdawg at February 24, 2012 03:38 PM (vC6Bj)

259 their=they're. Whatever

Posted by: UGAdawg at February 24, 2012 03:39 PM (vC6Bj)

260 Is oriental officially out?

Posted by: Goatweed at February 24, 2012 04:28 PM (qiC+m)

261 game over - ten minute!

Posted by: flashbazzbo, s.e. at February 24, 2012 04:46 PM (i0rVe)

262 How about Cream of Sum Yong Gai jokes? Are they okay?

Posted by: CoolCzech at February 24, 2012 05:50 PM (niZvt)

263 I can't believe they have a problem with "Yellow Mamba." I wonder if Lin himself has been asked about it; I would not be surprised is he was more honored by the comparison to Kobe than offended by "yellow."

Posted by: logprof at February 24, 2012 05:56 PM (9KOgt)

264 I bet when Lin was young his parents punished him every time he missed a basket.

Posted by: logprof at February 24, 2012 06:02 PM (9KOgt)

265 Asian-American Journalists Association

Not racist in the least.
100% diverse.

Posted by: Mirror-Universe Mitt Romney at February 24, 2012 06:13 PM (VitMz)

266 so I guess you can't call his double-double games Lin ten-tens.

Posted by: mark c at February 24, 2012 10:02 PM (hnhBR)

267 Confucious say: baseball is impossible game. Man with four balls can not walk.

Posted by: John the Libertarian at February 24, 2012 10:20 PM (R2aOB)

268 Windows 7 Product Key

Posted by: windows 7 key at February 25, 2012 01:25 AM (lH3RX)

269 SPECIFICS

Throw out the "S"'s; a leftover from the days most didn't have dental care, the "s" is a wasted letter of no value.

Now then, left with the "PECIFIC" I deduce:

PE as in "PEE!!!!!"

C as in "see"

IF as "if"

I as in "I"

C as in "see"

and I see.

Posted by: twoslaps at February 25, 2012 02:50 AM (VA2qd)

270 www.genset-china.com

Posted by: kadin at February 25, 2012 11:12 PM (cZh/D)

271 www.parts-machining.com

Posted by: kadin at February 25, 2012 11:34 PM (cZh/D)

272 Scoobee Doo suing for wrongful discharge as Knicks color man. Is confident of re-instatement after judge rules speech impediment not grounds for dismissal.

Rut roh

Posted by: Carl Spackler at February 26, 2012 02:40 AM (zeWyX)

273 A great post, thanks for taking the time to share, continued success to your site in the future! GOOD Work!!

Posted by: Monster Lady Gaga at February 27, 2012 08:39 PM (Tjv/F)






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