Bad-Dum-Dum-Tsss: Obama Tries New Tack With Economic Disaster of His Creation: Droll Humor

First, a flashback. Obama's been in shovel-ready trouble with shovel-ready jobs for some time.

This incompetent naif admitted, back in October 2010, right before the elections (thanks, dude!), he wasn't lying when he claimed the stimulus would pay for "shovel-ready" projects.

He was just too ignorant to know they didn't really exist.

But in a startling admission in an interview with The New York Times’ White House correspondent Peter Baker, Obama said “there’s no such thing as shovel-ready projects.”

Krauthammer was not amused.

“Well, that is quite an admission,” Krauthammer said. “A year-and-a-half and half-a-trillion dollars later he says, ‘Well, these things I talk about endlessly don't exist.’ It's not surprising that he doesn't know a shovel-ready project didn't exist because having never worked in the private sector he wouldn't sure what a project is and there isn't shoveling in Harvard Law School, so I can understand.”

...

“This is one of the greatest ‘oops’ in American history,” he continued. “And it’s going to be hard for a Democrat when you show, you know one tape against another, and you’re going to say, ‘You supported $1 trillion offered by a president who didn't know that this is not going to happen?’ And that is probably why – since everybody expected it would affect unemployment and didn't this is probably one of the reasons why – things weren’t shovel-ready.”

Video at the link, yo.

Well, he tried the I'm So Stupid I Believed The Focus-Group Horseshit I Was Selling This Disaster With tactic.

Didn't work. People still have this nagging sense that the President of the United States of America should have some degree of accountability regarding the economy he's created.

So, now: With the jokes.

Ah, the jokes. Remember when Bush made a joke about looking for WMDs in Iraq? Yeah, I didn't spin too hard for him on that. A little, but mostly I kept my mouth shut.

That was in horrible taste. Boys are dying in Iraq and you're joking about a serious intelligence failure that put them there? I get his intent -- to take the piss out of himself -- but the lighthearted nature of it rubbed me the wrong way.

Some errors are trivial and may be laughed off. Some are serious and cannot be laughed off.

An economy on the brink of depression? Due to the incompetent flailings of narcissitic dilettante?

Not seeing the joke here, dude.

Well actually I do see the joke. I just don't think it's the same joke President Muffley Mulligan sees.

Here's a funny joke. If you don't give Obama "credit" of the millions of people so discouraged by the endless recession that they've ceased giving up looking for work at all -- that is, due to desperation and frustration, they've removed themselves from the seeking-employment numbers altogether, thus helping Obama's numbers by concealing from him millions so beaten down they just gave up -- the real unemployment figure would be 11%.

Ba-dum-dum-tsss.

Now, stop me if you've heard this one before.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Because, by one plausible method of accounting, each of the few jobs Obama's stimulus arguably created cost nearly a cool million per.

Ah, the jokes. Gotta love the jokes.

Awww Nuts: I'd meant to include this one. Obama's reelect numbers may soon be shovel-ready.

I’m not prepared to predict a Carter-like defeat for President Obama, since it depends on several unknown factors, from who the GOP nominee will be to the state of the economy and the country. But I am prepared to say right now the elements for a 2012 upheaval are in place, much as they were prior to the Reagan landslide and as they were prior to the 2010 epic repudiation of Obama and Democrats. And unless the economy swings around soon and in a fairly substantial way, Mr. Obama will be terrifically vulnerable.

Unemployment is now 25 percent higher than when the president took office, the deficit is 35 percent higher, and gas prices have more than doubled (h/t: NBC’s David Gregory). According to Pollster.com, the president’s rating on the economy is underwater by more than 19 percentage points (56.9 percent versus 37.7 percent), the widest since he took the oath of office. Only one-in-three independent voters approve of the president’s handling of the economy. According to the most recent CNN/Opinion Research poll, by a margin of more than 30 points, voters disapprove of his handling of health care; and by a margin of more than 40 points, they disapprove of his handling of the federal deficit. And roughly half of the nation believes we’re either in a recession or a depression.

Read on there. The White House doesn't even realize they're in trouble.


Bunker Mentality: If you want some golf jokes.


Posted by: Ace at 05:13 PM



Comments

1 And now, having admitted he didn't know about such a crucial part of his economic recovery plan, why should anyone have faith in anything else he comes up with?

Posted by: steve at June 13, 2011 05:15 PM (L9End)

2 What's that. My grandkids will have a lesser life while groaning under a debt burden created by you for the benefit of you and your union cronies? Stop, you're killin' me. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Posted by: pep at June 13, 2011 05:18 PM (6TB1Z)

3 Speaking of jokes...

Posted by: Chi-Town Jerry at June 13, 2011 05:18 PM (f9c2L)

4 What's worse than this economy?

Are you ready?

Yes?

Cancer.

Thanks, I'll be here 2 more years.

Posted by: The Prezdint at June 13, 2011 05:19 PM (k0TKJ)

5 You know who would make a good Stand-Up Comic?

Posted by: Barack Obama at June 13, 2011 05:19 PM (IsbL6)

6 Obama is a liar and a traitor. He should be removed from office now because he is no friend to US business and the American people. Nobody can be this incompetent...It is on purpose !!!

Posted by: Jackson Kluckler at June 13, 2011 05:20 PM (48wze)

7 We woulda been better off if they had just sent us all a check. I would have even promised to spend it on American-made goods or services too!

Jobs Council.. is that something he invented so his admin can laugh at all the people without them?

Posted by: Chi-Town Jerry at June 13, 2011 05:20 PM (f9c2L)

8
Wow, I died laughing.

Posted by: American Middle Class at June 13, 2011 05:20 PM (YfO7c)

9 ...and what's the deal with Airline Food?

Posted by: Barack Obama at June 13, 2011 05:20 PM (IsbL6)

10 Actually, Barack Obama is funnier than his boss, Bill Maher, who joked about the incineration of the babies at Waco.

Posted by: Ken at June 13, 2011 05:21 PM (JYADs)

11 The fact that Zero is in the White House is a testament to the stupidity of the American public. The electorate is the real joke. I've no respect for 52% of my fellow citizens. I always thought most of them were dumb as doorknobs, and the results of the last Presidential election did little to dispel the notion.

Posted by: maddogg at June 13, 2011 05:21 PM (OlN4e)

12 Why did the chicken cross the road?

I hate you hillbillies and your rotten country!

Posted by: BHO at June 13, 2011 05:21 PM (6TB1Z)

13 1
And now, having admitted he didn't know about such a crucial part of his
economic recovery plan, why should anyone have faith in anything else
he comes up with?


Posted by: steve at June 13, 2011 05:15 PM (L9End)
Because he's awesome, he went to Harvard, and Michelle has toned arms.[/college voters]

Posted by: robviously at June 13, 2011 05:21 PM (s0hlt)

14 Wait...this was all to get us talking about Pippa Middleton's Ass again, wasn't it?
Bravo, Sir. Bravo.

Posted by: garrett at June 13, 2011 05:21 PM (IsbL6)

15 8

Wow, I died laughing.


Posted by: American Middle Class at June 13, 2011 05:20 PM (YfO7c)
LITERALLY!![/Debbie Wasserman Shultz]

Posted by: robviously at June 13, 2011 05:22 PM (s0hlt)

16 Take my wife...


please!

Posted by: Barry Dangerfield at June 13, 2011 05:22 PM (8Dexq)

17 The Council, led by GE's Jeffrey Immelt, erupted in laughter.

Fuck every last one of you lickspittles with a rusty chainsaw.

Posted by: Waterhouse at June 13, 2011 05:22 PM (SZDcd)

18 You could have taken the average guy out of the oil field and made him President and he would have done a better job than the JEF.

Posted by: maddogg at June 13, 2011 05:22 PM (OlN4e)

19 Want to hear my new slogan for our economic recovery? (I stole this from Family Guy, by the way)

On your mark,

Get set,

Terrible.


Thank you, you're too kind.

Posted by: The Prezdint at June 13, 2011 05:23 PM (k0TKJ)

20 A priest, a rabbi, and a Baptist minister walk into a bar.

And I hate them all, the bastards. Especially the rabbi.

Posted by: BHO at June 13, 2011 05:23 PM (6TB1Z)

21 the real unemployment figure would be 11%.

That's actually conservative. I've seen calculations that estimate it a closer to 16%. In my state (the eternally boned CA) it's easily close to 20%.

Posted by: Rod Rescueman at June 13, 2011 05:23 PM (HwE/1)

22 Obama: What the hell is a "shovel" anyway?

Press Corps: Laughter

Posted by: Dang at June 13, 2011 05:23 PM (TXKVh)

23
Hey, and you know what else? The Affordable Healthcare Act isn't really affordable. Thanks, folks, you've been great!

Posted by: Barry Obama at June 13, 2011 05:24 PM (YfO7c)

24 if a candidate mentions this tonight I'm gonna be one happy guy

Posted by: YRM (Great Season Heat, Now Go Canucks) at June 13, 2011 05:24 PM (UzBwz)

25 Please god let the country survive until Nov 2012, we have A good opposition candidate, then we can laugh with Bambi, or in my case at him. And then I will not be surprised if the first action of the new congress and president will have to be passing a bill declaring all his lame duck executive actions null and void.

Posted by: palerider at June 13, 2011 05:25 PM (dkExz)

26 And yet, roughly half of this once-great nation is ready to re-elected this tool to preside over what little is left of the country for 4-more years.

Behold! The wonders of the ever-expanding Free Sh*t Army. Always there when you need them - if you can get them off the couch long enough to vote, join a rent-a-mob, whatever.

Their body odor comes for free, but the foul language cost extra.

Posted by: DocJ at June 13, 2011 05:26 PM (g8ibn)

27 Nancy, Harry and Barry -- the Real 3 Stooges.

Serving up a great big yuck fest for going on 6 years now.

Oh yeah, I'm laughing at the superior intellects.

Posted by: GnuBreed at June 13, 2011 05:26 PM (ENKCw)

28 Shovel.. don't they use that in the sand trap?

Oh.. ok.. thanks, Joe..

Joe says that's a rake! Ha! Who knew?

Posted by: Chi-Town Jerry at June 13, 2011 05:26 PM (f9c2L)

29 Wait, I know the answer to this one.

Something about Anthony Weiner's wiener?

Posted by: blaster at June 13, 2011 05:27 PM (l5dj7)

30 There really is a big joke here.
Its the one 52% of Americans played on the rest of us...

Posted by: Jollyroger at June 13, 2011 05:27 PM (NCw5u)

31 I'm one of the unemployed, and I don't think it's funny at all.
Note everyone on that fucking panel HAS A JOB. Which is why they can find this amusing.
It's...unbearable. This should be played on a loop, and it should be a part of every GOP candidate's ad campaign.

Posted by: wankette at June 13, 2011 05:27 PM (CrYip)

32 Heres a brain storm: Lets get us a communist with communist/anti-American friends/parents/relatives and make him leader of the free world. Great huh? If we can find a black one thats even better! Who cares if he has no experience in the world outside of his commie acedemia? What could go wrong? Then the whole world will have to agree that we truly are post racial America. Dumb as a bag of shit, sure, but post racial.

Posted by: maddogg at June 13, 2011 05:27 PM (OlN4e)

33 How many Joe Bibens does it take to screw in a light bulb?





Hah! Trick question, you need a Hazmat Team to screw in the new light-bulbs!




I know, I'm killin'.

Posted by: The Prezdint at June 13, 2011 05:27 PM (k0TKJ)

34
if a candidate mentions this tonight I'm gonna be one happy guy

Posted by: YRM (Great Season Heat, Now Go Canucks) at June 13, 2011 05:24 PM

FSSSSHHHHHHHT.

Posted by: Mitt Romney's Hairspray at June 13, 2011 05:27 PM (YfO7c)

35 He who laughs last, laughs best.

I'm planning on laughing my ass off November 2012.

Posted by: Joe Mama at June 13, 2011 05:28 PM (CYoZS)

36 License plates? We don't need no stinkin' license plates!

Posted by: Anthony Weiner at June 13, 2011 05:30 PM (6TB1Z)

37 In Russia, jobs shovel you!

Posted by: Yakov Barackoff at June 13, 2011 05:30 PM (8Dexq)

38 26
And yet, roughly half of this once-great nation is ready to re-elected
this tool to preside over what little is left of the country for 4-more
years.

Behold! The wonders of the ever-expanding Free Sh*t Army.
Always there when you need them - if you can get them off the couch long
enough to vote, join a rent-a-mob, whatever.

Their body odor comes for free, but the foul language cost extra.


Posted by: DocJ at June 13, 2011 05:26 PM (g8ibn)
People on food stamps shouldn't be allowed to vote. If my tax dollars are going to go to pay for someone else to eat for free, I'd be fine with it so long as they aren't allowed to decide the future of this country. I don't think this is unreasonable.If the rest of us have to pay for you to live, you shouldn't get to vote.

Posted by: robviously at June 13, 2011 05:30 PM (s0hlt)

39 What's white and blue, and wears a suit, and hangs from a rafter in the garage?

A guy who just got an engineering degree. Get it?

I crack myself up sometimes.

Posted by: B. Hussein Obama at June 13, 2011 05:30 PM (kc3LP)

40 Obama: I was hoping this economy would jump up faster than Anthony Weiner's weiner in front of a Blackberry!

Press Corps: More laughter

Obama: Blackberry - sounds racist to me!

Press Corps: Howling laughter and guffaws

Obama: You ever seen Black Barry on a cracker? It ain't pretty! Starts shadow boxing

Press Corps: Now rolling about on the floor laughing, wiping tears from their eyes


Posted by: Dang at June 13, 2011 05:30 PM (TXKVh)

41 Sheeesh, and they called me an arrogant a**hole.

Posted by: Leona Helmsley at June 13, 2011 05:31 PM (6TB1Z)

42 I have said it before but Obama's will be the most expensive education in the history of the world.

The only thing it will take to beat Obama is someone who is willing to punch him. He doesn't have a spine and his imperious nature will be on full display as he attempts to save himself.

And the commercials write themselves.

Video: We will create shovel ready jobs.

Caption on blank screen: Several trillion dollars later.

Video: There is not such thing as a shovel ready job.

Just read Obama's speeches. The guy literally cannot go more than a few paragraphs without contradicting himself.

Posted by: Voluble at June 13, 2011 05:31 PM (JKX4x)

43 The Budget Comm. press secretary noted the joke. Also, Cantor's office released a short fact sheet about the economy.

Posted by: Miss'80sBaby at June 13, 2011 05:31 PM (ITYRW)

44 Yeah, at least I offered to feed the ungrateful little worms.

Posted by: Marie Antoinette at June 13, 2011 05:32 PM (6TB1Z)

45 But you'll vote for me again, anyway! Here's your sign!

Posted by: Barry Engvall at June 13, 2011 05:32 PM (8Dexq)

46 And don't get me started on krauthammer. That SOB nearly fell outta his wheel chair trying to keep his death grip lip lock on Zero's love muscle. Fucking jackass.

Posted by: maddogg at June 13, 2011 05:32 PM (OlN4e)

47 A Jew, a Muslim, and an African-American enter a conference room. What's the result?


1967 borders bitches!

Posted by: The Prezdint at June 13, 2011 05:32 PM (k0TKJ)

48 In Soviet USA government shovel readies YOU!

Posted by: Yakov Smirnoff at June 13, 2011 05:33 PM (BvNzB)

49 A funny thing happened on the way to the poor house.

Posted by: Precedent Bootney Farnsworth at June 13, 2011 05:33 PM (2dbd9)

50 I slice like a fucking shovel!

No really, have you ever seen my golf game?

Posted by: Barry Hacker Odivot at June 13, 2011 05:35 PM (CYoZS)

51 I just saw on Fox at the bottom of the hour that Obumbles is putting Slow Joe in charge of a committee targeting government waste - shouldn't be too hard for Joe, he IS government waste.

Posted by: jas at June 13, 2011 05:35 PM (ZM2Bn)

52 Ah, the jokes. Remember when Bush made a joke about looking for WMDs in Iraq? Yeah, I didn't spin too hard for him on that. A little, but mostly I kept my mouth shut.
That was in horrible taste. Boys are dying in Iraq and you're joking about a serious intelligence failure that put them there? I get his intent -- to take the piss out of himself -- but the lighthearted nature of it rubbed me the wrong way
Wasn't Bush's WMD "jokes" in a situation where he was actually supposed to be funny? A video during the White House Correspondents Dinner? That's the only time I remember them.
So Bush is doing a joke which might be in poor taste but its supposed to be in a comic setting. Isn't what Obama doing being like if Bush was doing an interview about the Iraq war and then started cracking jokes during that.

Posted by: buzzion at June 13, 2011 05:35 PM (oVQFe)

53 Jokes, lies, corruption, graft, more lies, cheating... It's the democrat way.

Now - lets ask the Repubs some questions that will make them look bad.

Posted by: Dominate liberal media at June 13, 2011 05:36 PM (0fzsA)

54 Just read Obama's speeches. The guy literally cannot go more than a few paragraphs without contradicting himself.

Posted by: Voluble

That's what happens when you hire a room full of people to write your speeches and just piece them together with no editing. Like a bad community college group project.

Really would like to see this asshole's grades.

Posted by: Dang at June 13, 2011 05:36 PM (TXKVh)

55 "SHECKYNOMICS"
try the veal....erm mac'n'cheese.

Posted by: eleven at June 13, 2011 05:36 PM (7DB+a)

56 Why did the chicken cross the road?
Fuck you, I won.

Posted by: Barry The Improbable at June 13, 2011 05:37 PM (zgZzy)

57 Obama killing the economy will be worth it as long as the fist bump goes with it.

God, is that fucking stupid.

Posted by: MJ at June 13, 2011 05:37 PM (BKOsZ)

58 I'm ready, and able, to beat Barry like a rented mule.

HamSandwich'12

Posted by: a ham sandwich at June 13, 2011 05:38 PM (GTbGH)

59 What has twelve legs, lives under a bridge, and eats out of dumpsters?

A typical family of six!

I got a million of 'em.

Posted by: B. Hussein Obama at June 13, 2011 05:38 PM (kc3LP)

60 We can truly save the American economy if we just increase the number of unemployed by One.

Posted by: Mr Pink at June 13, 2011 05:38 PM (VidfH)

61 I was just elected president . . . and boyare my cock-swallowing muscles tired.

Posted by: Barry The Improbable at June 13, 2011 05:38 PM (zgZzy)

62 You know what well have to start saying?

"Look, you don't have to tell anybody you're voting against Obama, just as long as you vote against him."

Posted by: AmishDude at June 13, 2011 05:38 PM (T0NGe)

63
"Permit process"? You don't say.

Posted by: Harvard Law Grad at June 13, 2011 05:38 PM (YfO7c)

64 When Moochelle sits around the well-appointed house, she really sits around our well-appointed house!

Posted by: Barry The Improbable at June 13, 2011 05:39 PM (zgZzy)

65 Rising fuel and food prices is not something that can be spun away. People feel it everyday.

Posted by: toby928™ at June 13, 2011 05:39 PM (GTbGH)

66 How many tzars does it take to wreck the economy?


37.


Ba-Zing!!

Posted by: The Prezdint at June 13, 2011 05:40 PM (k0TKJ)

67 Know what pisses me off? That whole 'shovel ready' phrase. I went to my local township building to bitch about something or another, and there sits the fatass road crew manager making 100k per year to listen to my gripe. He actually thought he could snow me by throwing the Obama buzz words around.

I'm certain that liberals are among the most brain-dead species on the planet.

Posted by: Downscaled Upscale at June 13, 2011 05:40 PM (IhHdM)

68 Not to show my Eeyore side, but I still think this fuckmouth is going to be re-elected. Too many stupid people vote, and a lot of them want to feel good about voting for the black guy.

Posted by: Wyatt Earp at June 13, 2011 05:40 PM (zgZzy)

69 Posted by: Jackson Kluckler at June 13, 2011 05:20 PM (48wze)

Wow! You are all fired up. Just finish up some nooky with Mary Clogginstein?

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo (NJConservative) at June 13, 2011 05:40 PM (LH6ir)

70 What's do the Bush economy and the Obama economy have in common?

They are both Bush's fault.

What did the unemployed person say to the other unemployed person?

How am I supposed to eat this shovel?

Posted by: polynikes - undecided at June 13, 2011 05:40 PM (xECRb)

71 What's white and votes in Philly?

Nothing! Get it?

Posted by: pep at June 13, 2011 05:41 PM (6TB1Z)

72 Know what this douche needs?

Hecklers.

Posted by: Joe Mama at June 13, 2011 05:41 PM (CYoZS)

73 You know what would really brighten this country up?

A new Dust Bowl.


hahahahahahahaha


Posted by: Precedent Bootney Farnsworth at June 13, 2011 05:41 PM (2dbd9)

74 How are we creating jobs at a million per and yet fewer of us work?

Posted by: t-bird at June 13, 2011 05:41 PM (FcR7P)

75 When you get down to it. Obama is not good for anything. Nothing. Worthless.Useless. A placeholder. A marker for the bottom of the barrell.

Posted by: maddogg at June 13, 2011 05:42 PM (OlN4e)

76 8
Wow, I died laughing.
Posted by: American Middle Class at June 13, 2011 05:20 PM (YfO7c)


Thread Wiener. Those who placed their bets on #8 can go to the payout window.

Posted by: toby928™ at June 13, 2011 05:42 PM (GTbGH)

77 7
We woulda been better off if they had just sent us all a check. I would
have even promised to spend it on American-made goods or services too!

They've spent $10,000 for every man, woman and child in America!! You tell me if we'd still be in a recession/depression if they'd just cut a check to Americans instead of laundering it through their cronies?
I mean, that's a number that needs yelled from the rooftops far and wide--let every one who is hurting know that the money they pissed away on their buddies could have went to his pocket.
How many Americans could have kept their house with $10k?
How many Americans could have paid off their credit card debt with $10k?
How many Americans could have paid off their car with $10k?
How many Americans could have stayed off food stamps and welfare for $10k?
How many Americans would still have their job, their dignity, their home, their family if they had gotten $10k over the last 3 years?

Posted by: Jimmuy at June 13, 2011 05:42 PM (7O94D)

78 How are we creating jobs at a million per and yet fewer of us work?
-----------------
Volume.

Posted by: MJ at June 13, 2011 05:42 PM (BKOsZ)

79
How are we creating jobs at a million per and yet fewer of us work?

It's done with mirrors.

Posted by: arhooley at June 13, 2011 05:42 PM (YfO7c)

80 62
You know what well have to start saying?

"Look, you don't have to tell anybody you're voting against Obama, just as long as you vote against him."


Posted by: AmishDude at June 13, 2011 05:38 PM (T0NGe)
This actually might work. A lot of younger people are still scared to say anything bad about Obama because his supporters are such shrill crybabies about their messiah.

Posted by: robviously at June 13, 2011 05:43 PM (s0hlt)

81
"Read on there. The White House doesn't even realize they're in trouble. "

Oh they realize they are in big trouble, they just think they can keep repeating the lie often enough to get 51% of the people to beleive it.

Posted by: Johnnyreb at June 13, 2011 05:43 PM (NNrYJ)

82 Why did the chicken cross the road?

That's where I left the witch hazel medicated pads.

Posted by: Barky the Orator at June 13, 2011 05:43 PM (p2IBw)

83 In keeping with Moochelle's new diet plan, I am planning on starving as many people as possible.


Operation Fashionable Famine

Catch it!

Posted by: Precedent Bootney Farnsworth at June 13, 2011 05:43 PM (2dbd9)

84 Look President Obama, you're gonna eat rainbows and crap glitter!

Posted by: Mick the Trainer at June 13, 2011 05:43 PM (BKOsZ)

85 remember, Reagan in 1980 was scary rightwingerish, so much so that Carter called him out on it at the debate (whereupon Reagan said there you go again).

So, the lesson is, let's get a charismatic scary conservative and not a fish-slimy, safe douchebag for 2012.

Posted by: joeindc44 at June 13, 2011 05:44 PM (QxSug)

86 Posted by: MJ at June 13, 2011 05:42 PM (BKOsZ)
You should have put on the 'Polish Watermelon Salesman' sock.

Posted by: Dan Rather Arbiter of Racist Socks at June 13, 2011 05:44 PM (IsbL6)

87 71 What's white and votes in Philly?


Hey! Wait a minute . . . Oh, never mind, it's true.

Posted by: Wyatt Earp at June 13, 2011 05:44 PM (zgZzy)

88 What's black, angry, armed to the teeth and won't be prosecuted by the Obama Justice Department?

Yes!

Don't forget to tip your waitress.

Posted by: B. Hussein Obama at June 13, 2011 05:44 PM (kc3LP)

89 Posted by: garrett at June 13, 2011 05:21 PM (IsbL6)

That whole "Pippa is a goddess" meme irritated me. She is a mid-twenties, upper-middle-class chick with lots of money. If she can't look at least smokin' hot at a fucking royal wedding, then she is a dog in real life. Yes, her ass had some nice curves, but if you look closely you will see a bit of what is called saddlebags!

I just feel like focusing this conversation on some important topics.

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo (NJConservative) at June 13, 2011 05:44 PM (LH6ir)

90
When will you con's realize that the recession is over.
AMERICA'S BACK!

Posted by: Debbie Wasserman Shultz at June 13, 2011 05:44 PM (0yGvK)

91 Yesterday I spent $200 on groceries and did not even fill my cart. I'm looking at at least two meatless dinners a week. And my kidsgetout of school this week, which means more eating and snacking at home. My teenage son can't find a job to even pay for his gas. I have another job interview tomorrow and it's a 90 minute commute if I get it. I've given up even looking for a job in my area.
You know what? This isn't funny. At. All.

Posted by: rockmom at June 13, 2011 05:44 PM (u8gFC)

92 I created seven quadrillion jobs this morning by clever use of magnets.


Posted by: Precedent Bootney Farnsworth at June 13, 2011 05:44 PM (2dbd9)

93 There is No Wave!

Posted by: Smeg at June 13, 2011 05:45 PM (IsbL6)

94 How many Americans could have paid off their credit card debt with $10k?

You seriously underestimate my abilities to emulate the Federal Government.

Posted by: Average American Family at June 13, 2011 05:45 PM (IhHdM)

95 Not to show my Eeyore side, but I still think this fuckmouth is going to be re-elected. Too many stupid people vote, and a lot of them want to feel good about voting for the black guy.
Posted by: Wyatt Earp at June 13, 2011 05:40 PM
Wyatt, I agree that this is why he was initially elected....but I'll be Winnie and predict that it won't happen again. The grocery store and gas stations are very stressful places now, not to mention the unemployment office, banks, utility companies, etc.
The intellectually lazy in this country have to be hurt hard to learn I believe that this is one accomplishment that Toonces has actually achieved.

Posted by: Cheri at June 13, 2011 05:46 PM (oiNtH)

96
Not to show my Eeyore side, but I still think this
fuckmouth is going to be re-elected. Too many stupid people vote, and a
lot of them want to feel good about voting for the black guy.

Posted by: Wyatt Earp at June 13, 2011 05:40 PM

It's all speculative and opinion and air and as good as the next guy's $.02, but Bill Whittle did point something out recently: You only have to vote for the Black guy ONCE to prove you're not a racist.

Posted by: arhooley at June 13, 2011 05:46 PM (YfO7c)

97 Well I guess 200 miles is more like 40.

Posted by: Idiot Volt Buyer at June 13, 2011 05:46 PM (BKOsZ)

98 Ba-dum-dum-tsss.

Hey we payed over a trillion dollars for this joke of an administration. And I'm going to get every last giggle. I think it's hilarious. Kind of dark hilarious like Sweeny Todd, where the protagonist (Sweeny/Obama) aided by an admirer (Lovett/MSM) convince themselves that grinding up their customers/constituency and feeding them to each other is not only good business/policy but light hearted and funny too!!

I must say. it would be much funnier though, if I weren't one of the customers/constituents in the meat grinder.

Posted by: MikeTheMoose at June 13, 2011 05:47 PM (0q2P7)

99 That buzz you hear is every hack journolouse cocksucker in Hollywood and New York firing up their word machines to win me this next election.


Posted by: Precedent Bootney Farnsworth at June 13, 2011 05:47 PM (2dbd9)

100 What do "green jobs" and "real jobs" have in common during my presidency?


They're both an illusion!!

*rim-shot*

Posted by: The Prezdint at June 13, 2011 05:47 PM (k0TKJ)

101 Wyatt, I agree that this is why he was initially elected....but I'll be Winnie and predict that it won't happen again. The grocery store and gas stations are very stressful places now, not to mention the unemployment office, banks, utility companies, etc.
The intellectually lazy in this country have to be hurt hard to learn I believe that this is one accomplishment that Toonces has actually achieved.


I really hope you're right. I don't want to see what this country looks like after 8 years of Obamanomics.

Posted by: Wyatt Earp at June 13, 2011 05:47 PM (zgZzy)

102 Stop me if you've heard this one: A totally incompetent socialist walks into the White House...

Posted by: Presnit Obumbles at the Laffs Factory Komedy Klub at June 13, 2011 05:48 PM (bK0e2)

103 America has turned the corner three times under Obama's studious, economic mentorship.

Posted by: MJ at June 13, 2011 05:48 PM (BKOsZ)

104 Like tits on a bull he is.....

Posted by: Truck Monkey at June 13, 2011 05:48 PM (yQWNf)

105 Somebody say something about grinding meat?

Posted by: Anthony "The Ant" Weiner at June 13, 2011 05:49 PM (CYoZS)

106 Yes, her ass had some nice curves, but if you look closely you will see a bit of what is called saddlebags!
Saddlebags? Maybe the hint of some...
but the Reverse Cowgirl regiment I'd have her on would remedy those in no time.
I'mtalking weeks, not months.

Posted by: garrett at June 13, 2011 05:49 PM (IsbL6)

107 Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because goddamn America!

Posted by: Warden at June 13, 2011 05:49 PM (di8v5)

108 103 America has turned the corner three times under Obama's studious, economic mentorship.




And we're right back where we started from. Disaster.

Posted by: Wyatt Earp at June 13, 2011 05:49 PM (zgZzy)

109 Great Depression 2.0 is soooo funnny, eh?
Here's a rib tickler:
What's the difference between FDR's depression and Obama's depression?
The 22nd amendment.

Posted by: joeindc44 at June 13, 2011 05:49 PM (QxSug)

110 I'm not saying Mao was a great guy or anything but whohas the greatesteconomy in the world?
Not U.S.! Get it? Us?

Posted by: President Wormburner McDroopyshoulders at June 13, 2011 05:49 PM (w7yia)

111 It's grim out there. Yesterday, Mrs Cop and I were driving on a road that used to be a thriving business district. Now, most of the buildings are empty and what few businesses are left don't have many cars in the parking lots.
But hey, look on the bright side: B+rry gets in plenty of golf because he needs to relax after working so hard for all us ungrateful serfs.

Posted by: Retired Buckeye Cop at June 13, 2011 05:50 PM (S2+uh)

112 Yesterday I spent $200 on groceries and did not
even fill my cart. I'm looking at at least two meatless dinners a
week. And my kidsgetout of school this week, which means more eating
and snacking at home. My teenage son can't find a job to even pay for
his gas. I have another job interview tomorrow and it's a 90 minute
commute if I get it. I've given up even looking for a job in my area.
You know what? This isn't funny. At. All.

Posted by: rockmom at June 13, 2011 05:44 PM

Oh, to hear that in an Obama townhall.

Posted by: arhooley at June 13, 2011 05:50 PM (YfO7c)

113

What has 6 legs and 4 teeth?

The night shift at Waffle House.

Posted by: Dave at June 13, 2011 05:50 PM (Xm1aB)

114 Why did the chicken cross the road?

He saw a Republican driving down the road, drinking a slurpee, and he was standing near a ditch!

Posted by: President Present at June 13, 2011 05:50 PM (3nrx7)

115
Why did thebig-eared Kenyan get into politics?

To destroy the economy!!

Thanks, I'll be here for another two years, Enjoy the veal!

Posted by: Presnit Obumbles at the Laffs Factory Komedy Klub at June 13, 2011 05:50 PM (bK0e2)

116 How do you like me now, whitey? Wait until I impose the pigment tax!

Posted by: President Barry Rickles at June 13, 2011 05:50 PM (zgZzy)

117 Only one-in-three independent voters approve of the president’s handling of the economy.

So, how do you feel about voting for the dumbass now, you fucking idiots?

Posted by: Blacque Jacques Shellacque at June 13, 2011 05:50 PM (1rHeD)

118 And we're right back where we started from. Disaster.
-------------------------------
E-zacly. It's almost as if the debate retorts write themselves. God, I hope our future RINO candidate reads these sites. Or at least his staffers.

Posted by: MJ at June 13, 2011 05:50 PM (BKOsZ)

119 You only have to vote for the Black guy ONCE to prove you're not a racist.


Posted by: arhooley at June 13, 2011 05:46 PM (YfO7c)
I voted against the black guy -- so I guess I am a racist.
Don't worry; I have been accused of it already. Simply for voting against him.

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo (NJConservative) at June 13, 2011 05:51 PM (LH6ir)

120 Why did the chicken cross the road?
To vote for an unaccomplished, no account, rabble rousing, whitey-hating,community organizer whose career was launched in the home of a dometic terrorist to lead the (once) greatest nation on Earth.

hahahahahaha!

Posted by: Warden at June 13, 2011 05:52 PM (di8v5)

121 Posted by: rockmom at June 13, 2011 05:44 PM (u8gFC)

What area?

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo (NJConservative) at June 13, 2011 05:52 PM (LH6ir)

122 Why did the chicken cross the road?

To get home.

And roost.

Posted by: Rev-rend Rite at June 13, 2011 05:52 PM (CYoZS)

123 Posted by: garrett at June 13, 2011 05:49 PM (IsbL6)

Please don't misunderstand. I would hit it -- gladly, repeatedly, joyfully.

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo (NJConservative) at June 13, 2011 05:53 PM (LH6ir)

124 How do you like me now, whitey? Wait until I impose the pigment tax!
Posted by: President Barry Rickles at June 13, 2011 05:50 PM (zgZzy)
Done.

Posted by: 10% Tanning Salon Tax at June 13, 2011 05:53 PM (yQWNf)

125 Lets leave race out of this, OK? You know why?

Because I need it for the campaign!!

Posted by: The Prezdint at June 13, 2011 05:54 PM (k0TKJ)

126 Do you guys like The Flintstones? Good, because Obamacare will tax your asses back to the Stone Age!

Posted by: President Barry Rickles at June 13, 2011 05:54 PM (zgZzy)

127
And what's the deal with these Teabaggers? It's constitution this and rule of law that. Have they not heard how wonderful I am?
Thanks, you've been a great audience of jounalists, make sure you tip the waitresses.

Posted by: Presnit Obumbles at Chuckles Hut Komedy Korner at June 13, 2011 05:54 PM (bK0e2)

128 Joe Biden.



Thank You! Try the veal.

Posted by: Precedent Bootney Farnsworth at June 13, 2011 05:54 PM (2dbd9)

129 Why did the chicken cross the road?

So that it wouldn't be run-over by Obama's bus.

Posted by: Kratos (Ghost of Sparta) at June 13, 2011 05:55 PM (c0A3e)

130 Why did the chicken cross the road?


Racism.

Posted by: Precedent Bootney Farnsworth at June 13, 2011 05:55 PM (2dbd9)

131 I thought the correct answer to "why did the chicken cross the road?" was, "here's a picture of my dick."

Posted by: William Shatner's Pants at June 13, 2011 05:56 PM (dhz9q)

132 I don't do blue. You'll not hear me tell wiener jokes. That's a cheap laugh. I always go for the expensive jokes that cost in the trillions. Now THAT'S Entertainment!

Posted by: Presnit Obumbles at Chuckles Hut Komedy Korner at June 13, 2011 05:56 PM (bK0e2)

133 Joe Biden.Thank You! Try the veal.
Posted by: Precedent Bootney Farnsworth at June 13, 2011 05:54 PM (2dbd9)
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Awsome!

Posted by: Truck Monkey at June 13, 2011 05:57 PM (yQWNf)

134 Knock, knock!

Who's there?

The Repo Guy!

Posted by: President Present at June 13, 2011 05:57 PM (3nrx7)

135 Who has two thumbs and wants to destroy America?

This guy.

Posted by: Precedent Bootney Farnsworth at June 13, 2011 05:57 PM (2dbd9)

136 Take the First Lady, PLEASE!

Posted by: Presnit Obumbles at the Giggle House at June 13, 2011 05:57 PM (bK0e2)

137 Why did the chicken cross the road?Because there was a News Story about the Housing and Urban Development Department giving out Rent Vouchers!

Try the Seared Wagyu and Baby Arugula Salad...

Posted by: Barack Obama at June 13, 2011 05:57 PM (IsbL6)

138 What's worse than nuclear war?


My college grades!!! hahahaha....


Seriously, they're terrible!

Posted by: The Prezdint at June 13, 2011 05:58 PM (k0TKJ)

139 Knock, knock.

Who's there?

SWAT.

SWAT who?

SWAT team. Get your arms in the air mofo.

Posted by: BHO Dept. of Ed. at June 13, 2011 05:58 PM (6TB1Z)

140 Knock knock

Who's there?

Karl Marx

Posted by: PR at June 13, 2011 05:59 PM (WvcAo)

141 Obama: "Shovel ready was not as ready as we expected"

American Public: "Yeah..that sums up your whole Presidency so far Jackass"

Posted by: SnakeOil Salesman at June 13, 2011 05:59 PM (/RRah)

142 How many Americans does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Let the capitalist running dog imperialist pigs sit in the dark for their crimes against the world.



Posted by: Precedent Bootney Farnsworth at June 13, 2011 05:59 PM (2dbd9)

143 shovel ready, schmuvel ready

Posted by: President Obama at June 13, 2011 05:59 PM (eOXTH)

144
What do you call hyperinflation, chronic unemployment, crushing debt and hyperinflation?
A good start! To the Cloward Piven strategy!
But seriously...

Posted by: Presnit Obumbles at the Giggle House at June 13, 2011 06:00 PM (bK0e2)

145
And another thing I found out. The Bill of Rights is itemized! Thank you, folks, you've been great!

Posted by: Barry Obama at June 13, 2011 06:00 PM (YfO7c)

146 123 Posted by: garrett at June 13, 2011 05:49 PM (IsbL6)Please don't misunderstand. I would hit it -- gladly, repeatedly, joyfully.
Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo (NJConservative) at June 13, 2011 05:53 PM (LH6ir)

I'm with garrett on this one.

Posted by: Jollyroger at June 13, 2011 06:00 PM (NCw5u)

147 What did the chicken say when he wanted to cross the road? The shovel was not ready. No ready no crossy!

Posted by: Shecky Bama at June 13, 2011 06:01 PM (SPVfc)

148 How many bananas can I cram up my ass?


14


*wets pant from laughter*

Posted by: The Prezdint at June 13, 2011 06:01 PM (k0TKJ)

149 You think they'd be saying "thank you"!

(press rolling on floor, crying with laughter)

Posted by: President Present at June 13, 2011 06:01 PM (3nrx7)

150 ...yes michelle flew here....and yes her arms are tired!!! but seriously folks they look great don't they?

Posted by: President Obama at June 13, 2011 06:01 PM (eOXTH)

151 What do you get when you cross Barak Obama and Chairman Mao on the internet?


Arrested and sent to camps for reeducation.

Posted by: Precedent Bootney Farnsworth at June 13, 2011 06:02 PM (2dbd9)

152 And now, having admitted he didn't know about such a crucial part of his
economic recovery plan, why should anyone have faith in anything else
he comes up with?

But he's so dreamy! His personal approval numbers are so high! Whoopee!

(Which begs me to ask....how can someone who is completely destroying your way of life rack up high personal approval numbers? This is for the Demorats in the audience.)

Posted by: Lady in Black at June 13, 2011 06:02 PM (kOtPb)

153
How many voters does it take to change a president?

Posted by: Fish the Impaler at June 13, 2011 06:03 PM (cwFVA)

154 "So, I'm on stage, right. Sitting next to Michelle, mind you. We're taping, and Oprah asks me, "What's the best way toreheat a leftover tamale?".
The gay guy up frontsees where this is going already..."

Posted by: Barack Obama : Stand-Up Precedent at June 13, 2011 06:03 PM (IsbL6)

155 Might want to not make too much of this right now and let Obama keep making these RNC clips for the election. Who knows, maybe we'll have a candidate who will actually use what this turd says against him. Or we can have McCain again.

Posted by: kansas at June 13, 2011 06:03 PM (mka2b)

156 Oh, to hear that in an Obama townhall.
If it was like the last one where someone had the audacity to complain to The Vapid One™, he'd just recommend getting rid of a couple of the kids or finding a better job.
He's smart like that.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy at June 13, 2011 06:03 PM (d0Tfm)

157
You know what else is funny?
Rehab for sex addiction!
-Teeny Weiner

Posted by: Marmo at June 13, 2011 06:04 PM (1KSBb)

158 Tell me again why this guy is not beatable. Ifwe keep circling the bowl like this a ham sandwich could beat this guy in '12.

Posted by: Truck Monkey at June 13, 2011 06:04 PM (yQWNf)

159 142 How many Americans does it take to change a light bulb?(from teh audience) THREE?
(from the stage) GRAB HIM....confiscate his lightbulbs!

Posted by: Commrade Obama at June 13, 2011 06:04 PM (SPVfc)

160 Re: Pippa's lovely ass. Look, the relative attributes of Pippa's shapely/kissable/bitable tushy may well deserve it's own thread, but I contend it is a disservice to said beautious ass to bring it up on a Zero thread.

Posted by: maddogg at June 13, 2011 06:05 PM (OlN4e)

161 Yesterday I spent $200 on groceries and did not
even fill my cart. I'm looking at at least two meatless dinners a
week. And my kidsgetout of school this week, which means more eating
and snacking at home. My teenage son can't find a job to even pay for
his gas. I have another job interview tomorrow and it's a 90 minute
commute if I get it. I've given up even looking for a job in my area.
You know what? This isn't funny. At. All.

Posted by: rockmom at June 13, 2011 05:44 PM

We'll get ya your free laughin' gas just as soon as I tax some stingy rich people.

Posted by: Barry Obama at June 13, 2011 06:05 PM (YfO7c)

162 153

How many voters does it take to change a president?

Voters? VOTERS? You don't have enough voters to change this president.

Posted by: kansas at June 13, 2011 06:05 PM (mka2b)

163
How many voters does it take to change a president?

Posted by: Fish the Impaler at June 13, 2011 06:03 PM (cwFVA)

Unfortunately, more than 52%

Posted by: Damiano at June 13, 2011 06:05 PM (3nrx7)

164 ...and 10,000 Golf Course Design Engineers! And 10,000 Golf Course Maintenance Engineers!

Posted by: Sir Shanksalot at June 13, 2011 06:05 PM (FcR7P)

165 It's Romney's turn.

Posted by: David Brooks at June 13, 2011 06:05 PM (yQWNf)

166 Why did the chicken cross the road?


Because Mumia was framed.


Posted by: Precedent Bootney Farnsworth at June 13, 2011 06:06 PM (2dbd9)

167
How many voters does it take to change a president?





Posted by: Fish the Impaler at June 13, 2011 06:03 PM (cwFVA)





Unfortunately, more than 52%

Posted by: Damiano at June 13, 2011 06:05 PM (3nrx7)
We've already got the 52% locked up! Next.

Posted by: SEIU at June 13, 2011 06:06 PM (cwFVA)

168
>>> How many voters does it take to change a president?

Including the dead ones?

Posted by: ACORN at June 13, 2011 06:07 PM (3nrx7)

169 The RNC should mage a montage of Obamick laughing and laughing and laughing and joking. On the lower half of the screan tehy should run people in soup lines, closed plants, long lines at the employment office, unfished shovel ready projects....and all the while his laughing face and joking self.

Posted by: giftogab at June 13, 2011 06:07 PM (SPVfc)

170 Let Obama continue with his tactless jokes. It's good for the 52% to see how little he actually cares about their plight. Here's hoping more Rs emphasize this as well.

OT: The House Ethics Comm. has launched a parliamentary inquiry about Rep. Weiner.

Posted by: Miss'80sBaby at June 13, 2011 06:07 PM (ITYRW)

171 I have said it before but Obama's will be the most expensive education in the history of the world.

Posted by: Voluble at June 13, 2011 05:31 PM (JKX4x)
That seems to imply that he can learn!

Posted by: Hrothgar at June 13, 2011 06:07 PM (yrGif)

172 My teenage son can't find a job to even pay for his gas.

Of course, the job application is in Spanish. Where do you think you are, England?

Posted by: Taco Bell at June 13, 2011 06:07 PM (FcR7P)

173 Why did the chicken cross the road?

To get to the High-Speed Rail station.

Posted by: Barky the Orator at June 13, 2011 06:07 PM (p2IBw)

174 You mean the dead presidents can vote too....LOOK OUT...SenKen may want to get in on that ack-shone!

Posted by: giftogab at June 13, 2011 06:08 PM (SPVfc)

175 Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because this is a downright mean country and it was tryingto get away from it.

Posted by: Michelle " You can call me Jackie" O at June 13, 2011 06:08 PM (d0Tfm)

176 What do you get when you spend $1trillion on a Stimulus Plan?


Signs next to the freeway about the stimulus plan.


bwahahahahahahahahahaha

Posted by: Precedent Bootney Farnsworth at June 13, 2011 06:08 PM (2dbd9)

177 you know what i call out of work red staters? speed bumps! hahaha that's what i'm talkin' about!

Posted by: President Obama at June 13, 2011 06:08 PM (eOXTH)

178 Debbie Whatshername Schultz? Last time I saw a mouth like that it had a hook in it!

Posted by: Preznit Urkel at June 13, 2011 06:09 PM (yQWNf)

179 How many voters does it take to change a dimbulb?

Posted by: PR at June 13, 2011 06:09 PM (WvcAo)

180 Rockmom: I feel your pain. I'm in the Northern VA/DC area, and have been looking since last August. In that time frame, I've had 4 interviews. I've got a security clearance, a BA in International Politics from Penn State and an Honorable Discharge.

It's so incredibly disheartening.

Posted by: Troika37 at June 13, 2011 06:10 PM (eqTkp)

181 "...so the goat herder starts screaming 'Whose berangutu stick is this?!'

And then Aunt Zetuni shrugs and says, 'Nara bweon ungate *click* fromantu Barack *click* *click*!'

Thank you! I'll be here all week!"

Posted by: Empire of Jeff at June 13, 2011 06:10 PM (lGFXF)

182 Posted by: maddogg at June 13, 2011 06:05 PM (OlN4e)

Nice asses trump pretty much everything.

My wife tells me that I am insufferable about politics (and she has a point) but I can be readily distracted.

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo (NJConservative) at June 13, 2011 06:10 PM (LH6ir)

183 Look, the relative attributes of Pippa's shapely/kissable/bitable tushy may well deserve it's own thread, but I contend it is a disservice to said beautious ass to bring it up on a Zero thread.

Normally I'd be inclined to see you burned at the stake for uttering such heresy...there is no inappropriate venue for said subject.
If you followed Ace's link, and I almost never do, there is a pic of the lovely ass in question.
I think Ace wanted to put up a post about Pippa's lovely bottom and that this was his way of inviting us into an inappropritae discussion of the sordid things we would like to do to it.

Posted by: garrett at June 13, 2011 06:10 PM (IsbL6)

184
Keynesian economics is the answer to all our problems, and we have demonstrated its effectiveness over the past two years. Practically every program initiated by this president has been a resounding success.

Posted by: Jay Carney, White House Anal Orator at June 13, 2011 06:10 PM (cwFVA)

185 Nice NASCAR hat. Did it come with a free bowl of soup?

Posted by: Preznit Urkel at June 13, 2011 06:11 PM (yQWNf)

186 Can I just get some props here? The projects were ready, but that rich guy wouldn't pay the shovel makers enough so they were out on strike and their union gave me some CASH!

Posted by: O'knee Slapper at June 13, 2011 06:11 PM (SPVfc)

187 empire of jeff

you owe me a new screen

Posted by: President Obama at June 13, 2011 06:12 PM (eOXTH)

188 Give it up for Baghdad Bobby Gibbs! Doing my rebuttal of the debate tonight!

Loookin Good Gibbsy!



Posted by: Precedent Bootney Farnsworth at June 13, 2011 06:12 PM (2dbd9)

189 i mean you owe me a new screen

Posted by: phoenixgirl at June 13, 2011 06:12 PM (eOXTH)

190 I.
Hate.
Obama.
...Period.

Posted by: giftogab at June 13, 2011 06:12 PM (SPVfc)

191 Christianne Amanpour(D)is certain that a million of jobs have been created.

Go Obama! Gooooooo Obama! Go Obama! wooo woooo!

Posted by: Dominate liberal media at June 13, 2011 06:13 PM (0fzsA)

192 Nice asses trump pretty much everything.
Everything but a hot mute with a nice ass.

Posted by: garrett at June 13, 2011 06:13 PM (IsbL6)

193 Ha ha, I kill me! I think that joke deserves a rimjo.......er..shot

Posted by: Barack Obama at June 13, 2011 06:14 PM (AJHDZ)

194 @67: "He actually thought he could snow me by throwing the Obama buzz words around."
Nah, he just didn't care about you or your issue. You're an insignificant peasant. You don't matter at all, and he was pretty much telling you that to your face.

Posted by: Next Time Bring Baksheesh at June 13, 2011 06:14 PM (xy9wk)

195
...Period.

Posted by: giftogab at June 13, 2011 06:12 PM (SPVfc)
Bitch is on the rag. Typical stuck up whitey.

Posted by: B.H. Obama at June 13, 2011 06:14 PM (LH6ir)

196 Did he tell that story about the car in the ditch? Boy, that was hilarious.

Posted by: Marmo at June 13, 2011 06:14 PM (1KSBb)

197 And what do you call the act?

The Democrats.

Posted by: PR at June 13, 2011 06:15 PM (WvcAo)

198 Tell me again why this guy is not beatable. Ifwe keep circling the bowl like this a ham sandwich could beat this guy in '12.

Posted by: Truck Monkey at June 13, 2011 06:04 PM

I think what it will come down to: You can throw lying statistics at me 'til the cows come home, but I know what's happening in my life, my neighborhood, my company, my family. Everyone has cut back. Everyone is worried their kid can't get a summer job. Every small business sees fewer customers. Every company is hiring less and making existing employees take on more work. And they all know the same thing is happening for everyone else.

Posted by: arhooley at June 13, 2011 06:15 PM (YfO7c)

199 Of course, the job application is in Spanish. Where do you think you are, England?
Posted by: Taco Bell at June 13, 2011 06:07 PM (FcR7P)
Para oir esta mensaje en Espanol, pulse dos.

Posted by: ErikW at June 13, 2011 06:15 PM (w7yia)

200 fantastic work, empire ofj eff

Posted by: garrett at June 13, 2011 06:16 PM (IsbL6)

201 Obama lied, America died

Posted by: partypants at June 13, 2011 06:16 PM (P5tPi)

202
A whitey, a tanned Joo, and a Rican walk into a gay leather bar.....

Posted by: Barky Obama, Ipanema Beach Muscle Guy at June 13, 2011 06:17 PM (cwFVA)

203 Welcome to Komedy Kontinent! To the north we ahve those every funny french speakin' supporters of the queen. Why they are just a laugh a minute!
To the south you cannot HELP but love the cartels, the sex offenders, the skoflaws that just want to come here and be as happeh as you and me!
Right in teh middle...well, you got me. I gotcher back and will help you through this mess called GWB. So just hand me some DO RE MI and I will give it to some of them carte, sex offenders and skoflaws we got pouring in from the south and ...well....IT'S ALL GOOD, man!

Posted by: Prez Gigglin Foo Obama at June 13, 2011 06:17 PM (SPVfc)

204 what's long, flat, grey, and costs $3 trillion dollar a year?

Great Depression 2.0

Posted by: joeindc44 at June 13, 2011 06:17 PM (QxSug)

205 Yeah, but now that I know what doesn't work I'll be even better at spending the next trillion.

Posted by: Barry Obumbles at June 13, 2011 06:18 PM (ZMHGo)

206 What's the difference between me and John Boehner? At least Boehner doesn't cry after sex.

Posted by: Comedian-in-Chief Barack Obama at June 13, 2011 06:18 PM (B9H/R)

207 You know what's funny?


Bread lines.

Posted by: Precedent Bootney Farnsworth at June 13, 2011 06:18 PM (2dbd9)

208 "...so it looks like I had the right Keynes, but I stuck it in the wrong Kenynes-hole!

Goodnight, America! You've were great!"

Posted by: Empire of Jeff at June 13, 2011 06:18 PM (lGFXF)

209 To be fair to Obama, the jobs may not have been shovel-ready, but the bullshit he used to sell his "stimulus program" sure was. So there's that.

Posted by: stuiec at June 13, 2011 06:19 PM (HMdeP)

210 A priest, a rabbi and a nun travel down to the border of Mexico...and are shot and killed! With OUR guns!

Wait, I got more.

A Jew walks into the White House and he gets sold down the river AND he has to eat dinner alone!

Woof! Woof! Woof! Woof!

So I said to the Queen of England, exchange gifts? Here bitch...listen to a few of my speeches

Howwwwwwl!

So, I said to Tony Rezco....mortgage payments, my ass. Annex the land, it's mainfest destiny!

I crack myself up.

Posted by: Shecky Green Jobs at June 13, 2011 06:19 PM (oxqER)

211 @196
True Dat!
His speechifying about the slurpee is the epitome of president lazy and boring's eloquence. It's right up there with Shakespeare, don't you know.
Honestly, how many independents or conservatives has JEF actually persuaded since he took office?

Posted by: joeindc44 at June 13, 2011 06:20 PM (QxSug)

212
Sarah Palin can see Russia from her house, and I can see Michelle's ass from Russia.

Posted by: Comedian-in-Chief Barack Obama at June 13, 2011 06:20 PM (B9H/R)

213 See, it's like my Father and Grandfather always said:

Fuck America.

Posted by: Precedent Bootney Farnsworth at June 13, 2011 06:21 PM (2dbd9)

214 How do you tease Obama?

Put him in the Oval Office and tell him that there are shovel-ready jobs in the corner.

Posted by: Damiano at June 13, 2011 06:22 PM (3nrx7)

215 @106: "but the Reverse Cowgirl regiment I'd have her on would remedy those in no time.
I'mtalking weeks, not months."
Cor blimey! A bleedin' regiment? Look mate, I'm open-minded, but I do have my limits. I simply won't shag more than a batallion.

Posted by: Pippa Middleton at June 13, 2011 06:22 PM (xy9wk)

216 11% "real" unemployment? I'll see that and raise you 17%.

Posted by: andycanuck at June 13, 2011 06:22 PM (kZ5Ek)

217
...and then I said we'd be in Libya days, not weeks! Ha, ha!
-Prezdent Solid B+

Posted by: Marmo at June 13, 2011 06:23 PM (1KSBb)

218 Which begs me to ask....how can someone who is completely destroying your way of life rack up high personal approval numbers?

As someone with a zillion hours in college psych and professional experience I can tell you that 'self-report' is a dangerous/not well understood concept. People will respond to a question with what they think the questioner wants them to answer. Not the way they really feel. The questioner will ask, "You found a twenty-dollar bill on the pavement and no one is around. Would you turn it in to the nearby lost-and-found?" Ask yourself that question -- then again as if some pretty young thing you wanted to impress was asking you. Any difference?

People lie to pollsters. Proven. Over and over. But when they pull that little curtain closed in the voting booth, they pull the dagger out of their pants.


Posted by: Public Service Message at June 13, 2011 06:23 PM (IhHdM)

219 they pull the dagger out of their pants.

Posted by: Public Service Message at June 13, 2011 06:23 PM (IhHdM)

Let's chat!

Posted by: Anthony Weiner at June 13, 2011 06:24 PM (LH6ir)

220 Democrats would rather watch their children starve and huddle under a bridge than vote Republican. The real joke are the voters who voted for him and are going to again. Visit Detroit proper to see the hell that Democrats create. It's only going to spread.

Posted by: dvdivx at June 13, 2011 06:24 PM (rBW4C)

221 What's the difference between me and Joe Biden? Chuck would have stood up if I was the one talking.

Posted by: Comedian-in-Chief Barack Obama at June 13, 2011 06:24 PM (B9H/R)

222 Just keep repeating 'Obama administration incompetence' and whatever candidate opposes him is a shoe-in.

Posted by: nickless at June 13, 2011 06:25 PM (MMC8r)

223 ... Turns out, that the shovels were ready, but the jobs weren't!

Posted by: Barry "The Joke Man" Obama at June 13, 2011 06:25 PM (3nrx7)

224
When will Christ the Redeemer be felled and replaced with my image?

I'm gonna look bitchin' up on that hill overlooking Rio with my commanding presence.

Posted by: Barky Obama, Gods Gift to Fags at June 13, 2011 06:25 PM (cwFVA)

225 "How do you stop a black man from raping an economy? Hand me my putter!

No, seriously, I haven't had this hard a slog since I threw that Coca-Cola bottle off the edge of the world!"

Posted by: Empire of Jeff at June 13, 2011 06:26 PM (lbo6/)

226 Heh. Google "Pippa's butt" It goes on and on.....That butt could launch a thousand ships....

Posted by: maddogg at June 13, 2011 06:26 PM (OlN4e)

227 "...so the goat herder starts screaming 'Whose berangutu stick is this?!' And then Aunt Zetuni shrugs and says, 'Nara bweon ungate *click* fromantu Barack *click* *click*!' Thank you! I'll be here all week!"

It's funny because it's true!

Posted by: Peasant living under Emperor Jeff's Iron Boot at June 13, 2011 06:26 PM (/COcn)

228 they pull the dagger out of their pants...

photograph it, and post it to twitter with their smartphone.

Posted by: MikeTheMoose at June 13, 2011 06:27 PM (0q2P7)

229 Seriously, I hate you people like George Lucas hates Star Wars fans.


Posted by: Precedent Bootney Farnsworth at June 13, 2011 06:28 PM (2dbd9)

230

As the president of the Florida chapter of the Pippa Middleton's Magnificent Ass Club, I have t-shirts, mugs, key chains, and a few feelthy pictures left for sale.

Go to pippasbeautifulass.com to purchase merchandise.

Posted by: Fish the Impaler at June 13, 2011 06:28 PM (cwFVA)

231 Pippa's butt can make coffee and toast.


Posted by: sifty at June 13, 2011 06:29 PM (2dbd9)

232 Seriously, I hate you people like George Lucas hates Star Wars fans.

Yeah, you're doing as good a job as Lucas is.

Posted by: nickless at June 13, 2011 06:29 PM (MMC8r)

233 What? "Shovel-ready jobs" don't exist?
But ... but ... I exist, right? Right?

Oh.

Posted by: Green Jobs at June 13, 2011 06:29 PM (VcNCp)

234 @139: "Knock, knock. Who's there?SWAT.SWAT who?"
*bang* *bang* *bang* *bang* *bang* *bang* *bang* *bang* *bang* *bang* *bang* *bang* *bang* *bang* *bang* *bang* *bang* *bang* *bang* *bang* *bang* *bang* *bang* *bang* *bang* *bang* *bang* *bang* *bang* *bang* *bang* *bang* *bang* *bang* *bang* *bang* *bang* *bang* *bang* *bang* *bang* *bang* *bang* *bang* *bang* *bang* *bang* *bang* *bang* *bang* *bang* *bang* *bang* *bang* *bang* *bang* *bang* *bang* *bang* *bang* *bang* *bang* *bang* *bang* *bang* *bang* *bang* *bang* *bang* *bang* *bang*
No way, Jose!

Posted by: Pima County SWAT Team at June 13, 2011 06:29 PM (xy9wk)

235 Bad-Dum-Dum-Tsss: Obama Tries New Tack With Economic Disaster of His Creation: Droll Humor


I liked it when he pulled this out during the Porkulus debate, trying to mock his critics and show what idiots we were. He laughed as he yelled, "What do they think stimulus IS? Spending IS stimulus!!" LOL.

The Indonesian Imbecile is extra-funny when he tries to be condescensing. As if.

Posted by: progressoverpeace at June 13, 2011 06:29 PM (G/MYk)

236 The Obama White House view of the economy:

I'm alright Jack. So is my family. You're not? Who gives a shit.

Posted by: Jack at June 13, 2011 06:29 PM (kCT7A)

237 Just checking in to see if I'm still viewed as a worthless weeping piece of shit?

Posted by: Jack Boehner at June 13, 2011 06:30 PM (EL+OC)

238 Water fight!

Posted by: andycanuck at June 13, 2011 06:30 PM (kZ5Ek)

239 Never taunt Pippa's butt.

Posted by: Peasant living under Emperor Jeff's Iron Boot at June 13, 2011 06:30 PM (/COcn)

240 A bleedin' regiment?
I did get a 't' in there, didn't I?

Posted by: garrett at June 13, 2011 06:30 PM (IsbL6)

241
Let's chat!

Got any pics? Any vein bulging, throbbing man-meat in tidy grey undies? DM me.

Posted by: Former Porn Righter at June 13, 2011 06:31 PM (IhHdM)

242 Yeah, you're doing as good a job as Lucas is.

Nah, Lucas actually made some good movies prior to developing chronic narcissism with infallibility syndrome.

Posted by: MikeTheMoose at June 13, 2011 06:31 PM (0q2P7)

243 Of course, the job application is in Spanish. Where do you think you are, England?

Duh, in England the job applications are in Arabic.

Posted by: Not Drinking Nearly Enough at June 13, 2011 06:32 PM (JEvSn)

244 Pippa's ass is world famous. Can we run it for POTUS?

Posted by: maddogg at June 13, 2011 06:32 PM (OlN4e)

245 You know what's funny? Hardly any of these comments and not much of the post touches on "shovel ready". Which tells me Obama snowed the whole country, using some made-up phrase to sell his plan. I worked on a stimulus job. It actually did provide work for both engineers and laborers, and extended the amount of time we stayed afloat. "Shovel ready", according to the ARRA, was just a way of saying "you need to get your planning done ASAP if you want any of this money". This was confirmed when we asked the gov't if our project was eligible. They said it needs to be done quick. So we put our resources together and got the initial planning done. That's all you need to apply for a grant anyway, folks. Why do the entire engineering if you aren't going to get the grant? That would be silly. And the ARRA package, if that was the case, would only fund jobs that had already failed in the past. Would you want the gov't to sell a stimulus package to only fund jobs that were fully engineered, but had been rejected? Think about it. Ok, I'm done. You can go back to joking about how BO is a comedian.

Posted by: isostan at June 13, 2011 06:32 PM (caurI)

246
ny vein bulging, throbbing man-meat in tidy grey undies? DM me.


Posted by: Former Porn Righter at June 13, 2011 06:31 PM (IhHdM)
Put me on the list: kirstenpowers@liberalbuzz.com

Posted by: Kirsten Powers, Fox Debutante at June 13, 2011 06:32 PM (cwFVA)

247 A Rabbi, a Priest, and an Imam can't walk into a bar.


It went bankrupt.

Posted by: Precedent Bootney Farnsworth at June 13, 2011 06:32 PM (2dbd9)

248 So two Black Panthers are hanging out in front of a polling place when all these crackas...wait, wait, stop me if you've heard this one!

Posted by: Barack Obama in the Original Kings of Comedy at June 13, 2011 06:33 PM (AJHDZ)

249 Of course, the job application is in Spanish. Where do you think you are, England?

Duh, in England the job applications are in Arabic.


Posted by: Not Drinking Nearly Enough at June 13, 2011 06:32 PM (JEvSn)
Didn't you guys know that English is raaaaacist!!Bitter clingers.

Posted by: progressoverpeace at June 13, 2011 06:33 PM (G/MYk)

250 @206: "What's the difference between me and John Boehner? At least Boehner doesn't cry after sex."
That's the only thing he doesn't cry after, then.

Posted by: Fa Cube Itches at June 13, 2011 06:34 PM (xy9wk)

251 The Indonesian Imbecile is extra-funny when he tries to be condescensing. As if.
What are you talking about? Obama and condescending? Obama trying to be condescending is like the Pacific trying to be wet.

Posted by: MikeTheMoose at June 13, 2011 06:35 PM (0q2P7)

252 Pippa's ass is world famous. Can we run it for POTUS?

If she's elected to the House she can tweet pictures of it.

Posted by: Not Drinking Nearly Enough at June 13, 2011 06:35 PM (JEvSn)

253 You know what's funny?
Having your electricity turned off.



That one kills me. M'chelle wrote that one in Spain.

Posted by: Precedent Bootney Farnsworth at June 13, 2011 06:35 PM (2dbd9)

254 The only thing shovel ready is the shovel and the shit.

Posted by: Lemon Kitten at June 13, 2011 06:36 PM (0fzsA)

255 NEED A WEINER POST.

Barack Obama calling for Anthony Weiner to resign.

Posted by: someguy at June 13, 2011 06:36 PM (iIQ0a)

256 White House's metric for a successful stimulus: "We spent it, yay!"

Posted by: Unclefacts Luxury-Yacht at June 13, 2011 06:36 PM (6IReR)

257 Obama trying to be condescending is like the Pacific trying to be wet.

Posted by: MikeTheMoose at June 13, 2011 06:35 PM (0q2P7)
In his mind. He's too stupid to actually condescend to anyone about anything of import. He just makes a fool of himself (more than usual, even) when he tries.

Posted by: progressoverpeace at June 13, 2011 06:37 PM (G/MYk)

258 From the Commentary article:

I recently spoke to someone who is fairly well connected to the Obama
White House, and he indicated the president and his team hadn’t even
contemplated the possibility of a re-election loss. They comfort
themselves with the beliefsthe GOP field is fatally flawed,
demographics are working to their advantage, andObama is a
spectacularly good politician. Even statessuch asNorth Carolina and
Georgia will be up for grabs, they are telling reporters.

So Obama and his crack team think they're doing so well that states like North Carolina and Georgia will be up for grabs? The same North Carolina that just gave the Republicans total control of the state assembly for the first time in over 100 years? The same Georgia that Obama didn't carry during his high water mark of 2008? These people are so out of touch with the real world that it would be funny if it weren't so sad.

It seems that he's only been repudiated once, that for some piddly little Illinois statehouse election. What will happen to him if he loses in 2012? My guess, he turns even more vocally anti-American than Carter.

Posted by: Ghost of Lee Atwater at June 13, 2011 06:37 PM (GEPoZ)

259 "when you show, you know one tape against another"

I've given up on the GOP to produce these things. Fuck 'em. Do it yourself and put it up on Youtube.

Posted by: PJ at June 13, 2011 06:37 PM (tybhV)

260 Barack Obama calling for Anthony Weiner to resign. retweet.

Posted by: garrett at June 13, 2011 06:37 PM (IsbL6)

261 So anyway, a trillion dollars is like totally gone and then Maynard Keynes comes up to me and says, "dude, you're doin' it all wrong."
True story.

Posted by: B. Hussein Obama at June 13, 2011 06:38 PM (QKKT0)

262 A rabbi, an engineer, and a laborer walked in and applied for an ARRA grant, and the grantender said "you need a lesbian".

Posted by: PR at June 13, 2011 06:38 PM (WvcAo)

263 Greetings, insects! I bring both good and bad news with respect to your economy. The bad news is that your country's so broke, you'll all have to eat shit for dinner. However, the good news is that, thanks to My munificence, you will all have plenty of it!

Posted by: Prezidizzle Obizzle at June 13, 2011 06:39 PM (xy9wk)

264 @262 - now that's funny. Add a lesbian and a Grant Manager, and you've created a job!

Posted by: isostan at June 13, 2011 06:40 PM (caurI)

265 What will happen to him if he loses in 2012?
Posted by: Ghost of Lee Atwater at June 13, 2011 06:37 PM (GEPoZ)
Voting recounts until the end of time. Whether Obama sees that possibility or not, I'm sure someone on his team is lining up a huge crew of lawyers for the possibility.

Posted by: ErikW at June 13, 2011 06:41 PM (w7yia)

266 ...and the Devil says,"OK. Coffee Break is over. Back on your heads."

Posted by: Precedent Punchline at June 13, 2011 06:42 PM (IsbL6)

267 The only thing that's shovel ready is what comes out ofObama's mouth.

Posted by: Warden at June 13, 2011 06:42 PM (UFgTl)

268 I've lived in the same region for most of my life and I do not recall EVER seeing as many homeless people as I do today.

I wonder why the liberal media are not covering that real life story? Oh yeah- there's a D in the white house. Homelessness is only an issue when an R is in the white house. Silly me.

Posted by: Lemon Kitten at June 13, 2011 06:42 PM (0fzsA)

269 If you think the cure for a bad economy is a trillion dollar stimulus..........you just might be a socialist.
If you refuse to discuss spending cuts but hammer for more taxes......YOOoouuu just might be a socialist.
If you think unemployment benefits are a stimulus to the economy.......guess what? Yep..........you probably are a socialist.

Posted by: Barack Obama in the Blue State Comedy Tour at June 13, 2011 06:43 PM (AJHDZ)

270 BREAKING NEWS!Barack Obama says in an excluse interviewwith NBC's Ann Curry thatDemocrat Anthony Weiner should resign his Congressional seat in the wake of his sex scandal involving sending naked photographs of his erect penis to young students on the internet.Barack Obama: "I can tell you that if it was me, I would resign. When you get to the point where, because of various personal distractions, you can't serve as effectively as you need to, at the time when people are worrying about jobs, and their mortgages, and paying the bills — then you should probably step back,’’ Obama told Weiner through Curry. The entire interview will air exclusively on NBC's Today Show tomorrow morning.

Posted by: someguy at June 13, 2011 06:43 PM (iIQ0a)

271 So, the lesson is, let's get a charismatic scary conservative and not a fish-slimy, safe douchebag for 2012.

Posted by: joeindc44 at June 13, 2011 05:44 PM (QxSug)

Can't, the only one out there is unelectable. I heard that somewhere.

Posted by: Unclefacts Luxury-Yacht at June 13, 2011 06:44 PM (6IReR)

272 268:

Don't worry!

As soon as my terms are up Whoopie and Robin will be back on HBO raising money for all the Republican caused homeless again.

Posted by: Precedent Bootney Farnsworth at June 13, 2011 06:44 PM (2dbd9)

273 All those right-wing pundits are crazy, saying that I was sitting on Rev. Wright's church for 20 years...

... I was on my feet, screaming 'Hallelujah"!

Tip your waitress, it's likely the last money she'll get before she's unemployed too!

Posted by: Barry The Jokeman Obama at June 13, 2011 06:45 PM (3nrx7)

274 If a chicken is sitting on top of your /\ shaped roof and lays an egg, which direction does it roll off?
Well I substituded chicken for Banty Rooster, but this guy laid it.

Posted by: Really old Joke at June 13, 2011 06:45 PM (CyPWX)

275
Posted by: Ghost of Lee Atwater at June 13, 2011 06:37 PM (GEPoZ)

I think the Obama insiders misunderstand the Indonesian Imbecile. He just doesn't care about re-election. He never has. He's a political suicide bomber on his run and he's taking out as much as he can before the election. If he happens to get re-elected, by some insane chance, then he'll just rip everything out by the very foundations ... seriously. But, he didn't come into this job looking to get re-elected. He didn't care. The Indonesian was here to do damage, and how he has.

Posted by: progressoverpeace at June 13, 2011 06:45 PM (G/MYk)

276 Barack Obama says in an excluse interviewwith NBC's Ann Curry thatDemocrat Anthony Weiner should resign his Congressional seat

Wow, he must really be causing them a lot of damage, in which case, I hope he fights to stay in office. Come on Weiner, don't go soft on us now.

Posted by: Ghost of Lee Atwater at June 13, 2011 06:46 PM (GEPoZ)

277 Remember Lee Iacocca, the man who rescued Chrysler Corporation from its death throes? He's now 82 years old and has a new book, 'Where Have All The Leaders Gone?'. Lee Iacocca Says: 'Am I the only guy in this country who's fed up with what's happening? Where is our outrage with this so called president? We should be screaming bloody murder! We've got a gang of tax cheating clueless leftists trying to steer our ship of state right over a cliff, we've got corporate gangsters stealing us blind, and we can't even run a ridiculous cash-for-clunkers program without losing $26 billion of the taxpayers' money, much less build a hybrid car. But instead of getting mad, everyone sits around and nods their heads when the politicians say, 'trust me the economy is getting better..' Better? You've got to be kidding. This is America , not the damned, 'Titanic'. I'll give you a sound bite: 'Throw all the Democrats out along with Obama!' You might think I'm getting senile, that I've gone off my rocker, and maybe I have. But someone has to speak up. I hardly recognize this country anymore.. The most famous business leaders are not the innovators but the guys in handcuffs.. While we're fiddling in Afghanistan , Iran is completing their nuclear bombs and missiles and nobody seems to know what to do. And the liberal press is waving 'pom-poms' instead of asking hard questions. That's not the promise of the ' America ' my parents and yours traveled across the ocean for. I've had enough. How about you? I'll go a step further. You can't call yourself a patriot if you're not outraged. This is a fight I'm ready and willing to have. The Biggest 'C' is Crisis! (Iacocca elaborates on nine C's of leadership, with crisis being the first.) Leaders are made, not born. Leadership is forged in times of crisis. It's easy to sit there with thumb up your butt and talk theory. Or send someone else's kids off to war when you've never seen a battlefield yourself. It's another thing to lead when your world comes tumbling down. On September 11, 2001, we needed a strong leader more than any other time in our history. We needed a steady hand to guide us out of the ashes. A hell of a mess, so here's where we stand. We're immersed in a bloody war now with no plan for winning and no plan for leaving.. But our soldiers are dying daily. We're running the biggest deficit in the history of the world, and it's getting worse every day! We've lost the manufacturing edge to Asia , while our once-great companies are getting slaughtered by health care costs. Gas prices are going to skyrock again, and nobody in power has a lucid plan to open drilling to solve the problem. This country has the largest oil reserves in the WORLD, and we cannot drill for it because the politicians have been bought by the flea-hugging environmentalists. Our schools are in a complete disaster because of the teachers union. Our borders are like sieves and they want to give all illegal's amnesty and free healthcare. The middle class is being squeezed to death every day. These are times that cry out for leadership. But when you look around, you've got to ask: 'Where have all the leaders gone?' Where are the curious, creative communicators? Where are the people of character, courage, conviction, omnipotence, and common sense? I may be a sucker for alliteration, but I think you get the point.. Name me a leader who has a better idea for homeland security than making us take off our shoes in airports and throw away our shampoo? We've spent billions of dollars building a huge new bureaucracy, and all we know how to do is react to things that have already happened. Everyone's hunkering down, fingers crossed, hoping the government will make it better for them. Now, that's just crazy.. Deal with life. Name me an industry leader who is thinking creatively about how we can restore our competitive edge in manufacturing. Who would have believed that there could ever be a time when 'The Big Three' referred to Japanese car companies? How did this happen, and more important, look what Obama did about it! Name me a government leader who can articulate a plan for paying down the debit, or solving the energy crisis, or managing the health care problem. The silence is deafening. But these are the crises that are eating away at our country and milking the middle class dry. I have news for the Chicago gangsters in Congress. We didn't elect you to turn this country into a losing European Socialist state. What is everybody so afraid of? That some bonehead on NBC or CNN news will call them a name? Give me a break. Why don't you guys show some spine for a change? Had Enough? Hey, I'm not trying to be the voice of gloom and doom here. I'm trying to light a fire. I'm speaking out because I have hope - I believe in America .. In my lifetime, I've had the privilege of living through some of America 's greatest moments. I've also experienced some of our worst crises: The 'Great Depression,' 'World War II,' the 'Korean War,' the 'Kennedy Assassination,' the 'Vietnam War,' the 1970's oil crisis, and the struggles of recent years since 9/11. Make your own contribution by sending this to everyone you know and care about. It's our country, folks, and it's our future. Our future is at stake!!

Posted by: Lemon Kitten at June 13, 2011 06:46 PM (0fzsA)

278 Knock knock
Who's there?
A baby who survived an abortion and was left to die in a closet!
A baby who survived an abortion and was left to die in a closet who?
I can't answer. I'm dead now. I died alone with no one to comfort me. Then they threw me away like I was nothing more than a piece of trash. Say hi to that Hope and Change guy for me when you see him at church the one time a year that he attends.

Posted by: Warden at June 13, 2011 06:46 PM (UFgTl)

279 Voting recounts until the end of time. Whether Obama sees that
possibility or not, I'm sure someone on his team is lining up a huge
crew of lawyers for the possibility.

If it's close. If it's a complete Carter-style obliteration, then he slinks away to be elected President of the UN where he continues to fuck with us.

Posted by: Not Drinking Nearly Enough at June 13, 2011 06:46 PM (JEvSn)

280 Sorry, Lee, I jumped the gun a bit.
I'm sure Obama would seek an appointment to the U.N. He might even challenge Ban-Ki Moon for Sec-Gen.

Posted by: ErikW at June 13, 2011 06:46 PM (w7yia)

281 Apologies for the spamin
-like copy and paste. oops.

Posted by: Lemon Kitten at June 13, 2011 06:47 PM (0fzsA)

282 You know what this economy has produced in record numbers?


Suicides!


Baaa-Ziiinng!!

I'm too funny.

Posted by: The Prezdint at June 13, 2011 06:47 PM (k0TKJ)

283 Lemon Kitten, I like your style.

Posted by: Not Drinking Nearly Enough at June 13, 2011 06:47 PM (JEvSn)

284 Flying on Obama's private plane.Obama looked at Oprah, chuckled and said, 'You know, I could throw a$1,000 bill out of the window right now and make somebody very happy.
Oprah shrugged her shoulders and replied, 'I could throw ten $100 billsout of the window and make ten people very happy.
Michelle added, 'That being the case, I could throw one hundred $10 billsout of the window and make a hundred people very happy..
Hearing their exchange, the pilot rolled his eyes and said to his co-pilot,"Such big-shots back there. I could throw all three of them out of thewindow and make 256 million people very happy.'

Posted by: dagny at June 13, 2011 06:47 PM (klWbq)

285 281

Apologies for the spamin

-like copy and paste. oops.

Posted by: Lemon Kitten at June 13, 2011 06:47 PM (0fzsA)

it's cool, I don't have my glasses on, and I can actually read it.

Posted by: Unclefacts Luxury-Yacht at June 13, 2011 06:47 PM (6IReR)

286 So I says to Joe Biden, "Joe, do you likefish sticks"? And Joe says "Barry, I love 'em". So I says to Joe, "Joe, what are ya, a gay fish?" He falls for it every time!

Posted by: Barack Obama at June 13, 2011 06:47 PM (AJHDZ)

287 Hey, did you hear the one about the community organizer who was made President of the United States through affirmative action?

Posted by: Henny I gotta million of 'em at June 13, 2011 06:48 PM (u+8qs)

288 Barack Obama says in an excluse interviewwith NBC's Ann Curry thatDemocrat Anthony Weiner should resign

Oh I get it. This is one of those sites trying to block the Weiner story...
If it weren't for the other brave sites this story would have been killed. I think Ace could devote at least one article to the topic, for his own credibility's sake.

Posted by: MikeTheMoose at June 13, 2011 06:48 PM (0q2P7)

289 I'm white and I vote in Philly. If my vote actually counts, that's another question.

Posted by: Northeastern Libtard at June 13, 2011 06:48 PM (YmPwQ)

290 Posted by: progressoverpeace at June 13, 2011 06:45 PM (G/MYk)
I disagree. I think you underestimate the degree of reality disconnect Zero exists in. We are talking fucking la la land here.

Posted by: maddogg at June 13, 2011 06:48 PM (OlN4e)

291 What do Austan Goolsbee, Myself, and a bag of rocks have in common?


None of us have ever had a real job.


HEY-O!

Posted by: Precedent Bootney Farnsworth at June 13, 2011 06:49 PM (2dbd9)

292 Posted by: Precedent Bootney Farnsworth at June 13, 2011 06:49 PM (2dbd9)

I dunno, I can find actual uses for rocks...

Posted by: Unclefacts Luxury-Yacht at June 13, 2011 06:50 PM (6IReR)

293 Apologies for the spamin
-like copy and paste. oops.

Posted by: Lemon Kitten at June 13, 2011 06:47 PM (0fzsA)
I think the content merited the outsized font. Maybe not the green ...Iaccoca really hit the nail on the head, several times.

Posted by: progressoverpeace at June 13, 2011 06:50 PM (G/MYk)

294 We should have let Chrylser go tits up in the 80's.

Posted by: Truck Monkey at June 13, 2011 06:51 PM (yQWNf)

295 ...post every 30 - 60 minutes...

Posted by: garrett at June 13, 2011 06:51 PM (IsbL6)

296 Two dads were in the park fighting over a dead squirrel in which to feed their families.

I looked over and said : Your Welcome!!!


Hahahahahahaha.........



True story.

Posted by: The Prezdint at June 13, 2011 06:52 PM (k0TKJ)

297
If I was as incompetent as that Weiner guy, I'd resign.
-Prezdent Awesome

Posted by: Marmo at June 13, 2011 06:52 PM (1KSBb)

298 If it's close. If it's a complete Carter-style obliteration, then he slinks away to be elected President of the UN where he continues to fuck with us.
Posted by: Not Drinking Nearly Enough at June 13, 2011 06:46 PM (JEvSn)
Whatever happens, it's pretty clear that Obama wants the head UN position.
No one speaks in the manner that he doesunless one wants total control.

Posted by: ErikW at June 13, 2011 06:52 PM (w7yia)

299 We should have let Chrylser go tits up in the 80's.

Hey, we just made 500 LARGE, on that deal with Fiat!

Who's the man?

Posted by: Barry Obama Olama Obama Loo at June 13, 2011 06:52 PM (JEvSn)

300 277 reads suspiciously like an email that I frequently get in my spam box. I agree with most of it but I'm not sure if I'm comfortable quoting Lee Iacocca. Or if he even said all of that stuff.

Posted by: Damn Sockpuppet at June 13, 2011 06:52 PM (YmPwQ)

301
is it time for another vacation?

I'm pooped!

Posted by: obama at June 13, 2011 06:52 PM (1K6n1)

302 Lee Iacocca's book, reproduced in it's entirity by Lemon Kitten.
BTW, Lee is absolutely rignt.

Posted by: maddogg at June 13, 2011 06:52 PM (OlN4e)

303 What do Austan Goolsbee, Myself, and a bag of rocks have in common?None of us have ever had a real job.
How dare you sir! I'll have you know I'm sprucing up some landscaping as we speak. Don't lump me in with those two. I bet you don't have the balls to say that about a bag of shit.

Posted by: Offended bag of rocks at June 13, 2011 06:52 PM (AJHDZ)

304 How about a Weiner thread!?

Posted by: rdbrewer at June 13, 2011 06:53 PM (9ESvi)

305 “I can tell you that if it was me, I would resign,’’ Obama told Curry.

"I mean, he's gotta be at least five inches long. If I was that hung I'd consider a shovel-ready career in porn," he added, slyly shifting the slight bulge in his black jockeys into view.

Posted by: If Only They Told The Whole Truth at June 13, 2011 06:53 PM (IhHdM)

306 If I had a shovel, I'd shovel in the morning.
I'd shovel in the evening, all over this land.
I'd shovel out bullshit.
I'd shovel in FREEDOM.
I'd shovel out in the fraud, the debt, the cheaters and the Weiners,
all over this land.
...mmmm

Posted by: maverick muse at June 13, 2011 06:53 PM (H+LJc)

307 Now everyone here knows that I love the First Dog. Malia and Sasha can't get enough of Bo either. But Michelle just hasn't warmed up to ol' Bo yet.

So the other day I bought Bo a tamale collar and some bacon footies.......and now I can't get any lovin!

Ba-Dum-Bump!

Posted by: Baracky Sales at June 13, 2011 06:54 PM (Pwo5S)

308 Recently, I have come under fire from some folks who hold me responsible for the failed rock policies of the previous administration.

Let me be perfectly clear.



Posted by: Precedent Bootney Farnsworth at June 13, 2011 06:55 PM (2dbd9)

309
I pulled the economy from the brink...

of recovery!


hahahahhahahaha

Posted by: obama at June 13, 2011 06:55 PM (o/lnZ)

310 Stop me if ya heard dis one before.....

"If you voted for Obama in 2008 to prove you were not a racist...

You will have to find someone else to vote for in 2012 to prove you are not an idiot!

Posted by: Richard at June 13, 2011 06:55 PM (+qNON)

311
...so I told Pelosi, just go on TV and tell those rubes that Obamacare will create 400,000 jobs immediately after it passes. Ha, ha!
-Opie iWon Kadopie

Posted by: Marmo at June 13, 2011 06:55 PM (1KSBb)

312 Iaccoca really hit the nail on the head, several times.


Posted by: progressoverpeace at June 13, 2011 06:50 PM (G/MYk)

He was talking about Bush - published in 2007 (If I remember correctly)

Posted by: momma at June 13, 2011 06:55 PM (nWikJ)

313 Ya know, sometimes I do wake up grumpy....




Other times I go, "Naw, I'll just let her sleep in!"

Posted by: Presnit Perfikt at June 13, 2011 06:56 PM (8Dexq)

314 >>> Remember Lee Iacocca, the man who rescued Chrysler Corporation from its death throes?

Oh, you mean that guy who got Chrysler it's last bailout, then got Ricardo Mantalban to sell his shitty K cars with imaginary "real Corinthian leather"?

Heh... Yeah, he should talk about economics.

Posted by: Barry The Jokeman Obama at June 13, 2011 06:56 PM (3nrx7)

315 I disagree. I think you underestimate the degree of reality disconnect Zero exists in. We are talking fucking la la land here.

Posted by: maddogg at June 13, 2011 06:48 PM (OlN4e)
It depends on what you think his motivations are. I think he sees himself as the Avenging Angel of the Third World, brought to rain pain and destruction on the US and the West. That's how I've always seen his personality ... well, since midway through the primary, at least.I don't doubt that he might think he's a shoe-in, at this point. Yes, he's that nuts. We just look at the shit he says and know that he's totally out of his mind. And out a very slow mind, at that. So, he might think that he'll just magically win in 2012, but I don't think he cares. He's committed tens of impeachable acts already and knows that he hangs on by the skin of his teeth (and the cowardice of America, as his idiot buddy pointed out). The election is still very, very far off for him and his style. He does something new nearly every week that would get most other people tossed out, or at least talked about seriously being tossed out. He knows that eventually this dam might crack.

Posted by: progressoverpeace at June 13, 2011 06:57 PM (G/MYk)

316 Nah, Lucas actually made some good movies prior to developing chronic narcissism with infallibility syndrome.

That guy from Red Letter Media nailed Lucas' problem dead on - he has nobody to temper his more insane ideas.

Episodes 1 - 3 are the result of Lucas having complete control over "his" project and it shows.

Posted by: Kratos (Ghost of Sparta) at June 13, 2011 06:57 PM (c0A3e)

317
What will happen to him if he loses in 2012?Posted by: Ghost of Lee Atwater at June 13, 2011 06:37 PM (GEPoZ)
1 - Presidency

2 - ????

3 - Profit!

And by that I mean, we're the ones who don't know what's in 2.

But srsly, it'll start with a worldwide sympathy tour, a book tour, and Michelle's book tour. After that is anyone's guess -- U.N. Secretary-General, Chief Justice of International Court, Michelle's U.S. Senate run.

And yes, I def think he'll be fiercely anti-American afterward, to the point of treason. It's scary that he knows a few secrets.

Posted by: arhooley at June 13, 2011 06:58 PM (YfO7c)

318
#309
Or you could say Obammie pulled a depression from the jaws of recovery.

Posted by: Marmo at June 13, 2011 06:58 PM (1KSBb)

319 He was talking about Bush - published in 2007 (If I remember correctly)


Posted by: momma at June 13, 2011 06:55 PM (nWikJ)
Doubtful. He called for the dems to be thrown out "with Obama".

Posted by: progressoverpeace at June 13, 2011 06:58 PM (G/MYk)

320 Jugears has heard sycophantic laughter from the MBM everytime he grins for so long that he doesn't realize that HE'S NOT A FUNNY GUY

Well, he is a clown, but he doesn't amuse me

Posted by: kbdabear at June 13, 2011 06:58 PM (so1xa)

321 Apologies for the spamin
-like copy and paste. oops.


Eh. I actually did that once. By accident. I pasted in a list of State of California government agencies. I thought I was OK because I sub scripted the whole list with no hard returns. It still took up three pages.

Posted by: MikeTheMoose at June 13, 2011 06:59 PM (0q2P7)

322 Well I guess 200 miles is more like 40.

Posted by: Idiot Volt Buyer at June 13, 2011 05:46 PM (BKOsZ)
But it did 200 miles in the lab!

Posted by: Hrothgar at June 13, 2011 06:59 PM (yrGif)

323 What are Osama bin Laden, a Weiner, and my reelection chances?




Name a ghost, a roast, and toast.

Posted by: Precedent Bootney Farnsworth at June 13, 2011 07:00 PM (2dbd9)

324 Why did the chicken cross the road?

It was shovel ready!

Ba dum bump! clang!

Posted by: King Barry the Hilarious at June 13, 2011 07:00 PM (so1xa)

325 Here's the ultimate joke: Obama and the Dems spent the past eight years talking down the seriousness of the war against Islamic radicalism. Obama has been quick to take credit for bagging Bin Laden, and is trying to get in front of the victory parade.

. . . but that means the only issue anyone cares about is the economy.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Posted by: Trimegistus at June 13, 2011 07:01 PM (08Fo2)

326 He was talking about Bush - published in 2007 (If I remember correctly)


Posted by: momma at June 13, 2011 06:55 PM (nWikJ)
Doubtful. He called for the dems to be thrown out "with Obama".


Posted by: progressoverpeace at June 13, 2011 06:58 PM (G/MYk)



Nope. 2007. Scroll down to page 13.

Posted by: momma at June 13, 2011 07:02 PM (nWikJ)

327 316 Nah, Lucas actually made some good movies prior to developing chronic narcissism with infallibility syndrome.That guy from Red Letter Media nailed Lucas' problem dead on - he has nobody to temper his more insane ideas. Episodes 1 - 3 are the result of Lucas having complete control over "his" project and it shows.
Posted by: Kratos (Ghost of Sparta) at June 13, 2011 06:57 PM (c0A3e)
Cracked nails it perfectly without needing to watch a review of the Phantom Menace that is as long as the movie.

Posted by: buzzion at June 13, 2011 07:02 PM (oVQFe)

328 Take my wife, please!

No, seriously, take my wife. Not joking.

Posted by: Baracky Youngman at June 13, 2011 07:03 PM (GEPoZ)

329 So, I just got back from a fundraiser in Arkansas and I'm walking down the steps of Air Force One with two pigs under my arms.

At the bottom of the steps, the honor guardsman steps forward and remarks, "Nice pigs, Mr. President"

I reply, "I'll have you know that these are genuine Arkansas Razorback Hogs. I got this one for Michelle and this one for Nancy. So, now what do you think?"

The honor guardsman answers: "Nice trade, Sir."

Thank you, I'm here until 2012, try the veal!

Posted by: Barack Obama at June 13, 2011 07:04 PM (HjxoE)

330 But it did 200 miles in the lab!

And I can jog 200 miles, so long as my special government designed treadmill is designed with negative slope.....and I'm given roller blades.

Posted by: MikeTheMoose at June 13, 2011 07:04 PM (0q2P7)

331 Cor blimey! A bleedin' regiment? Look mate, I'm
open-minded, but I do have my limits. I simply won't shag more than a
batallion.

Posted by: Pippa Middleton at June 13, 2011 06:22 PM (xy9wk)
A member of the Scottish Highland sergeant goes into the chemist's shop, puts a raggedy condom on the counter, and says, "How much to patch this?"The chemist examines it, sees the tear, and says, "One and sixpence."The sergeant raises an eyebrow. "And how much for a new one?""Two and six."The sergeant nods, picks up the old condom, and leaves.The next afternoon, the same sergeant enters the same chemist's shop and sets down two shillings and sixpence on the counter, announcing in his command voice, "The Regiment voted for a new one!"

Posted by: stuiec at June 13, 2011 07:04 PM (HMdeP)

332 Indeed SIR, for what possible purpose would poultry attempt to transit the road, SIR?

Is neanderthal America still not past the racism of chicken jokes, and by extension since African American stereotypes involve chicken, is the joke not CODE for a racist joke, SIR?


Posted by: Keith Olbermann at June 13, 2011 07:05 PM (so1xa)

333 A guy walks into a bar. He says "I haven't been able to find work in over two years! My family thinks I'm a bum, and I came in here because I need a drink to help deal with the pain, even though I really shouldn't be spending my dwindling dollars on alcoholic beverages."

Ba-dum-dum-tsss.

Posted by: Shecky Obama at June 13, 2011 07:06 PM (uaEZS)

334 Nope. 2007. Scroll down to page 13.

Posted by: momma at June 13, 2011 07:02 PM (nWikJ)
Well, I'll be. My mistake. All I can say is that everything he said applies perfectly to Obama and the idiots around him. Bush had his failings, but Ioccoca didn't identify them. I guess Lee is a better precog than he is a straight thinker

Posted by: progressoverpeace at June 13, 2011 07:07 PM (G/MYk)

335 You know I had government motors, I mean GM, put a heated bumper on the Volt. So your hands don't get cold when you push it...Get it?

Posted by: Sir Golfs a lot at June 13, 2011 07:07 PM (sE08M)

336 What I would love to know is what is happening to the amount of adults who are getting themselves labeled "disabled". One of my secret vices is watching "Judge Judy". She often asks people how they support themselves. It is shocking how many of these people are on disability. Today there was a guy on the show who has 5 kids. Two of the children get social security, and he has a "side job". "Side job" meaning he is too lazy to work full time and is living off the kid's social security.

The whole disability thing has just become one more government program for deadbeats to scam.

Posted by: nerdygirl at June 13, 2011 07:09 PM (NuCbo)

337 So this unemployed guy walks up to me and says he hasn't had a bite in two days ...

So I put the sandwich shop out of business!!!

Hey, you're a great audience, don't forget to tip your waitresses and then call our IRS hotline to report her for not reporting the earnings!

Posted by: King Barry the Hilarious at June 13, 2011 07:12 PM (so1xa)

338 Wow.

I actually like these 10 questions from the LATimes (I didn't read anything but the questions, btw):

GOP debate: 10 questions that need answers

Posted by: momma at June 13, 2011 07:12 PM (nWikJ)

339
What I would love to know is what is happening to the amount of adults who are getting themselves labeled "disabled".

You like Judge Judy? My favorite trainwreck show is "Hoarders." Same deal. They're so fat they can barely drag themselves from room to room, their houses are falling down, 50 dead animals are rotting away under 50 tons of garbage, they indifferently agree that their kids are getting the worst of it, and . . . they're on disability.

Posted by: arhooley at June 13, 2011 07:14 PM (YfO7c)

340 275 -
I agree, He wantsthe whole pie, but does IT have a firm grip on all six pieces...

Posted by: CatLady at June 13, 2011 07:14 PM (CyPWX)

341 Within 50 miles of my house in a certain southern state there are three of those "economic recovery" sites with the Obama sign and something about putting Americans back to work. Let's just say two of the three sites have a single white guy and about 10-20 Latinos. Now, I won't assume that some or all are in the country illegally. But I will say this: "some or all are in the country illegally."

Posted by: JDW at June 13, 2011 07:14 PM (p6kTq)

342 WI Democrat Tells Female Constituent He Wants to “Smack Her Around” in Message (Audio)

Posted by: momma at June 13, 2011 07:15 PM (nWikJ)

343 339 - I love hoarders as well. Guilty pleasure for sure.

Posted by: Barack Obama at June 13, 2011 07:16 PM (HjxoE)

344 There's plenty of shoveling in Harvard Law School. Just not the productive kind.

Posted by: Eddie Baby at June 13, 2011 07:17 PM (yKnVO)

345 The country should be THANKING me!

*rimshot*

Posted by: Barak Obama at June 13, 2011 07:17 PM (kUaEF)

346
So I know y'all came here tonight to relax and have a few laughs, but guess what? I don't feel like it!

You've been great, tip your waitress if she's white because according to my wallet it's time for another shakedown.

Posted by: Barry Obama at June 13, 2011 07:18 PM (YfO7c)

347 Off old, busted presidential sock!

Posted by: twiceblessedmom at June 13, 2011 07:18 PM (HjxoE)

348 WI Democrat Tells Female Constituent He Wants to “Smack Her Around” in Message (Audio)

Is she hot?

Posted by: garrett at June 13, 2011 07:18 PM (IsbL6)

349 I actually like these 10 questions from the LATimes

I just have one: Where is the damned Rashid Khalidi tape?

Posted by: AmishDude at June 13, 2011 07:19 PM (73tyQ)

350 @258: "What will happen to him if he loses in 2012?"
I unleash RaHoWa on you cracka-ass crackas'asses.

Posted by: Prezidizzle Obizzle at June 13, 2011 07:19 PM (xy9wk)

351 RE disability:

My stepfather could have gotten disability - his tibia and fibula were shattered about 18 years ago and after several surgeries, it was deemed that he needed a metal rod in his leg. He can walk about just fine, but he could have gamed the system and gotten disability. In fact, several people suggested this course. However, the thought of going on disability never crossed his mind. He said that as long as he can work, he will.

I wish more people had my stepfather's work ethic, myself included.

(But I'm working on it, ).

Posted by: Kratos (Ghost of Sparta) at June 13, 2011 07:19 PM (c0A3e)

352
do you know who is doing great in this economy?

my Auntie Zetuni, that's who!


hahahahahha!

Posted by: obama at June 13, 2011 07:19 PM (sSPgI)

353 This bag of shit gas thinks it's funny that families are at the breaking point. That Moms and Dads are getting this sickening feeling in their gut that a year from now they and their kids might be homeless. Fucking funny buddy. President Bunghole has trashed this country, and left millions of Americans desperate and fuckface is making jokes about it. It can't get worse than this.....or can it?

Posted by: Sparky at June 13, 2011 07:20 PM (aepk5)

354 Thank You LemonKitten!
Rasberry Tea is good too!

Posted by: CatLady at June 13, 2011 07:20 PM (CyPWX)

355 Hmmm, CNN will be projecting comments from Facebook and Twitter on screen during the debates, supposedly. Might be interesting.


Posted by: Theresa D. at June 13, 2011 07:21 PM (8Dexq)

356
I fucked up the economy.

Gotta go. Have to kick BP's ass.



hahahahahahaha!

Posted by: obama at June 13, 2011 07:22 PM (Yidyr)

357
brb, startin another war

Posted by: obama at June 13, 2011 07:23 PM (N0SJE)

358 >>> Remember Lee Iacocca, the man who rescued Chrysler Corporation from its death throes?



Oh, you mean that guy who got Chrysler it's last bailout, then got
Ricardo Mantalban to sell his shitty K cars with imaginary "real
Corinthian leather"?



Heh... Yeah, he should talk about economics.



That "Iacocca Rant" has been floating around since at least 2007, originally written as a criticism of Bush.

PJ O'Rourke had a SCATHING review of Iaccoca's autobiography. As I recall, PJ's convinced that Lee's a fast-talking, barely-functional cretin.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at June 13, 2011 07:23 PM (8rHXV)

359
brb, spending another trillion dollars

Posted by: obama at June 13, 2011 07:23 PM (qTQac)

360
brb, remindin everyone *I* killed Osama

Posted by: obama at June 13, 2011 07:24 PM (ibo8U)

361 So at the White House we're using stimulus money to build a new fence. Three guys bid, one from California, one from Texas, and one from Chicago.

The guy from California walks the perimeter, pulls out a calculator, and says, "$300 thousand."

The guy from Texas walks the perimeter, pulls out a calculator, and says, "$200 thousand."

The guy from Chicago says, "A million dollars." I say to him, "A million? You didn't even measure, you did nothing, and you're quoting me more than anyone else. How can you say that?"

He says, "Easy. $400 thousand for you, $400 thousand for me, and $200 thousand to hire the guy from Texas."

Ba dum dum tss.

Posted by: Baracky Youngman at June 13, 2011 07:24 PM (GEPoZ)

362
brb, givin a shout-out to a fake indian after the Ft Hood muslim attack

Posted by: obama at June 13, 2011 07:24 PM (6a1ih)

363
...and I even told everyone that I'd bankrupt the coal industry and that energy prices would necessarily skyrocket, and they STILL voted me in! Ha, ha!
-Pezzdent Barky O'bumbles

Posted by: Marmo at June 13, 2011 07:25 PM (1KSBb)

364 Hmmm, CNN will be projecting comments from Facebook
and Twitter on screen during the debates, supposedly. Might be
interesting. Posted by: Theresa D. at June 13, 2011 07:21 PM

They'd better put oven mitts on Weiner first.

Posted by: Barry Obama at June 13, 2011 07:25 PM (YfO7c)

365
brb, goin on vacation

Posted by: obama at June 13, 2011 07:25 PM (MVJst)

366
brb, buyin toxic assets

Posted by: obama at June 13, 2011 07:25 PM (HY/zQ)

367
brb, startin a war in Israel

Posted by: obama at June 13, 2011 07:26 PM (N0SJE)

368 The economy? #Hacked!

Posted by: Marmo at June 13, 2011 07:26 PM (1KSBb)

369
brb, fillin out my brackets

Posted by: obama at June 13, 2011 07:26 PM (PnqNd)

370
brb, creatin green jobs

Posted by: obama at June 13, 2011 07:27 PM (m9qVG)

371 Obama is absolutely less popular now than he was in November, 2008. No one, not even his biggest admirers, are arguing that.
The McCAIN 08 states resisted him at the height of his popularity. They are untouchable at this point. Adjusted for the census, Any republican automatically gets these 179 electoral votes. However, that is NOT where a Republican, in this environment, automatically starts at. Regardless what polls say, Obama just BARELY carried Indiana, North Carolina, and NE-2(Omaha). Flip less than 1% of the electorate in either area, those went McCain. Obama has lost a considerable amount more than that part of the electorate, but lets play worst case for us and say Obama's personal popularity- a level strong enough to still sway voters- dropped only by 2% in 3 years. North Carolina, Indiana, and NE2 automatically flip to the Republicans, so the baseline electoral vote for a Republican is now 206 electoral votes- 64 shy of beating the President...right? Wrong. Because assuming that 2% shift...Florida is gone too, with its 29 electoral votes. The Republican now starts at 235 electoral votes. Republicans need only flip 35 more to win the election.
All arguments saying the R starts with less, at this point, are street rat crazy.
This isn't arguing our rosiest scenario here, this is arguing Obama's. His best case, under current economic conditions, are to somehow convince the rest to get him to 303 electoral votes- a cushion of 34 above a tie.
The narrative has fundamentally shifted, much like it did for the House in 2010.

What needs to happen now, with 235 votes in our corner, is to consider where to move the battlelines. Obama successfully forced McCain to piss money away in Montana, North Dakota, Georgia, South Carolina, Missouri, Florida, Nebraska, Indiana and Virginia- states which have been red or at least a nice shade of pink.
If we follow the same strategy, screw targeting Ohio and Virginia- targetthe light blue states, hard. Flood Maine, New Hampshire, Wisconsin, Michigan, Minnesota and Pennsylvania with cash and ground troops- states that are considered light blue but went red in 2010- and Obama will be forced to fight there- and concede VA and OH along with it. Elections have an opportunity cost like anything else- $1 blown in Wisconsin can't be blown in Virginia. $1 blown in Washington can't be in Ohio. Force the map to expand, and Obama is where the House Democrats were in 2010- fucked.

Posted by: CAC at June 13, 2011 07:27 PM (WXnOB)

372 brb, golfing.

Posted by: Marmo at June 13, 2011 07:28 PM (1KSBb)

373

wow 6 comments in a row, each with a different hash


Posted by: leftover soothsayers at June 13, 2011 07:28 PM (Qh31g)

374
brb, tellin hispanics to hate whitey

Posted by: obama at June 13, 2011 07:30 PM (BAqy2)

375
Off, filthy presidential sock!

Posted by: arhooley at June 13, 2011 07:30 PM (YfO7c)

376 @336: "What I would love to know is what is happening to the amount of adults who are getting themselves labeled "disabled". One of my secret vices is watching "Judge Judy". She often asks people how they support themselves. It is shocking how many of these people are on disability. Today there was a guy on the show who has 5 kids. Two of the children get social security, and he has a "side job". "Side job" meaning he is too lazy to work full time and is living off the kid's social security. The whole disability thing has just become one more government program for deadbeats to scam."
Hey, I was designed to deal with disability claims, but youpeople are all "atrocity" and "crime against humanity" and such. How ya like me now, bitchez!

Posted by: Zombie T-4 Program at June 13, 2011 07:30 PM (xy9wk)

377 @JDW - "Let's just say two of the three sites have a single white guy and about 10-20 Latinos."
It would surprise me if they were illegal. There are layers upon layers of checking and reporting on these jobs, and everybody is trying to justify their existence, especially at the gov't level. On our project someone generated a 30-page report on some laborer who was paid the wrong wage rate for being on the wrong piece of equipment for an hour.

Posted by: isostan at June 13, 2011 07:31 PM (caurI)

378 brb, remindin everyone *I* killed Osama

Posted by: obama at June 13, 2011 07:24 PM

Gutsy call, Mr.Pezzydent!

Posted by: lefty meme at June 13, 2011 07:31 PM (izDdO)

379
I go golfing to get away from the punishment of those two rug rats, Malfa and Satchel, or whatever the hell their names are.
-Pezzdent Not Weiner

Posted by: Marmo at June 13, 2011 07:31 PM (1KSBb)

380
brb, suin Arizona

Posted by: obama at June 13, 2011 07:31 PM (vzJm/)

381 OT - Coincidence or something more?

Errant 'Rapture' Prophet Harold Camping Suffers a Stroke


Posted by: Kratos (Ghost of Sparta) at June 13, 2011 07:32 PM (c0A3e)

382
brb, stranglin soothsayer

Posted by: obama at June 13, 2011 07:32 PM (+pzpw)

383 @371 - GOP and 527s should be running ads in every Dem district pinning Weiner on them.

Posted by: Surprised leftard at June 13, 2011 07:32 PM (Fw2Gg)

384 36
License plates? We don't need no stinkin' license plates!


Posted by: Anthony Weiner at June 13, 2011 05:30 PM (6TB1Z)
The state of California just informed me they have denied my new vanity plates - reason? Offensive. Plate: TXSLAVE.

Posted by: kathysaysso at June 13, 2011 07:33 PM (ZtwUX)

385
brb, promotin Leon Panetta

Posted by: obama at June 13, 2011 07:33 PM (oygvi)

386 381
OT - Coincidence or something more?

Errant 'Rapture' Prophet Harold Camping Suffers a Stroke




Posted by: Kratos (Ghost of Sparta) at June 13, 2011 07:32 PM (c0A3e)

Oh shit, maybe he meant "rupture".

Posted by: Unclefacts Luxury-Yacht at June 13, 2011 07:33 PM (6IReR)

387
brb, gettin a car outta the ditch

Posted by: obama at June 13, 2011 07:34 PM (ka6ta)

388
On our project someone generated a 30-page report on
some laborer who was paid the wrong wage rate for being on the wrong
piece of equipment for an hour.

Posted by: isostan at June 13, 2011 07:31 PM

Defense of government effectiveness fail.

Posted by: arhooley at June 13, 2011 07:35 PM (YfO7c)

389
brb, goin to Ireland to pretend I like Europeans

Posted by: obama at June 13, 2011 07:35 PM (rLVhf)

390 brb, putting lipsticks on pigs

Posted by: Obama at June 13, 2011 07:36 PM (UzBwz)

391 brb, stoppin' the tonsil-cuttin' doctors

Posted by: obama at June 13, 2011 07:37 PM (GEPoZ)

392
brb, blamin Bush

Posted by: obama at June 13, 2011 07:38 PM (qTQac)

393 arhooley - It was for a $30 restitution check. Must have taken at least a whole day at the county level to put together the report. Then that was submitted to the state level, and will be audited in the end. Maybe two days worth of work.

Posted by: isostan at June 13, 2011 07:38 PM (caurI)

394
brb, alienatin our allies in England

Posted by: obama at June 13, 2011 07:39 PM (o/lnZ)

395 TXSLAVE.

Posted by: kathysaysso at June 13, 2011 07:33 PM

Then paint it in giant letters on the back of your car.

Posted by: arhooley at June 13, 2011 07:39 PM (YfO7c)

396 Haven't read all comments, and OT, but Weiner granted a 2 week leave of absence. The vote in the House was unanimous.

Posted by: Museisluse at June 13, 2011 07:39 PM (a8aqn)

397 Oops, forgot the url

Posted by: Museisluse at June 13, 2011 07:40 PM (a8aqn)

398
brb, travelin to all 57 states

Posted by: obama at June 13, 2011 07:41 PM (LmrWy)

399
brb, printin more money

Posted by: obama at June 13, 2011 07:41 PM (qPhRX)

400 @371: "Obama is absolutely less popular now than he was in November, 2008. No one, not even his biggest admirers, are arguing that."
Nonsense! He's simply becoming more selective in his appeal!

Posted by: Ian Faith at June 13, 2011 07:42 PM (xy9wk)

401 Posted by: isostan at June 13, 2011 06:32 PM (caurI)

OK, buzz kill. Take this:
Those shovel ready jobs here in Vegas ammounted to frivilous decoration at freeway exits. More parks that look really puuuuuuurty. Nothing essential was created by any of this stimulous money and the jobs were short term at best. I do not recall the figure floated for the price it cost to creat each of these jobs, but it was more than the value of the job itself, the NY times kiss ass figure was 275k per job to CREATE the job. That is rediculous to go into debt that much. Hell, refund the tax money so there can be REAL stimulous and private sector could pay people to work, not the gov. Contractors who get government contracts are providing jobs, but when the job being done is in essence a bride to nowhere, it is just welfare.
By most accounts figures were bolstere as to how many jobs in a project were even created. Sometimes ONE and teh money going into it was criminal. So there. Go back to being all smug about the levity now, bitch.

Posted by: giftogab at June 13, 2011 07:44 PM (SPVfc)

402 'scuse my typos above for mad fast typing.

Posted by: giftogab at June 13, 2011 07:44 PM (SPVfc)

403 brb, cutting spending in the tax code.

Posted by: Marmo at June 13, 2011 07:45 PM (1KSBb)

404 384 36License plates? We don't need no stinkin' license plates!
Posted by: Anthony Weiner at June 13, 2011 05:30 PM (6TB1Z)
The state of California just informed me they have denied my new vanity plates - reason? Offensive. Plate: TXSLAVE.
Posted by: kathysaysso at June 13, 2011 07:33 PM (ZtwUX)
THAT OFFENDS ME!

Posted by: unfree slave! at June 13, 2011 07:46 PM (SPVfc)

405 Whoooo hooo! Jokes? You want JOKES? How about:

How do you stop a rhinocerous from charging?

Obama is a sucker of cock!

Try this one on:

Last night, I shot a cocksucker in my pajamas. How obama got in my pajamas, I'll never know.

baaa ZING! Okay, check this out:

An Irishman, an Apache Indian, and a Samurai warrior walk into a bar. When they approach the rail to order some drinks, they see the barman playing Yahtzee on the bartop with a tuxedo clad lemur. The Irishman clears his throat to get the barman's attention. At which point the barman looks up, and in a high squeaky voice, says:

"Obama is a cocksucker, a cocksucker a cocksucker."

The Apache then says, "Him got high squeaky voice, like squaw". At which point the lemur looks up and says,

"What, you don't think obama is a cocksucker? Well he is. I mean to say, he sucks cock."

Okay- last one:

Knock knock.
Who's there?
A big cocksucker named OBAMA!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!

Dang, I gotta million of 'em.

Posted by: Zombie Milton Berle, formerly shovel ready. at June 13, 2011 07:47 PM (XyjRQ)

406 What did the unemployed guy buy with his food stamps?
Nothing! He sold them to pay his mortgage!

Posted by: D'oh!bamma at June 13, 2011 07:51 PM (KHIFN)

407
#405
Soooo, I'm getting this vibe that you think Obama is a cocksuker. Right? Some people think I'm pyschic.

Posted by: Marmo at June 13, 2011 07:52 PM (1KSBb)

408
You know what's funnier than Obama managing the economy?
Ebola.

Posted by: Marmo at June 13, 2011 07:53 PM (1KSBb)

409 The only thing being shoveled was manure.

Posted by: hoss at June 13, 2011 07:53 PM (NBfj0)

410 @407- well sure, that might be a subtle subtext I like to weave into my comedy stylings.

For you, one more:

How many surrealists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Three to dance with the penguins, obama is a cocksucker, and 7/8" assuming it's a hex nut.

I'm here all week, try the cadaver.

Posted by: Zombie Milton Berle, formerly shovel ready. at June 13, 2011 07:57 PM (XyjRQ)

411 #36 .. I just fell over laffing!!

Posted by: John D'oh at June 13, 2011 08:00 PM (v/laJ)

412 so America is lying dead on a table in the morgue... and thinking, well, maybe this isn't so bad, it's peaceful... pretty soon I'll be with the Lord... then Joe Biden comes in and roles the corpse over and climbs on and starts hollering WHOO WHOO!!! CHUGA CHUGA CHUGA!!!
AARRGGHH!!! AARRGGHH!!! SOCIALISM!!! IT NEVER ENDS!!!

Posted by: mallfly at June 13, 2011 08:04 PM (bJm7W)

413
#410
Yeah, yeah. Who hasn't heard that one.

Posted by: Marmo at June 13, 2011 08:06 PM (1KSBb)

414 Why did the old man buy value-rite dog food?
I don't know either. He ate his dog last month!

Posted by: D'oh!bamma at June 13, 2011 08:08 PM (KHIFN)

415 @giftogab - true, I agree, it seems to have been mismanaged. My real point is the "shovel ready" term. What did we expect it to be? How would that have worked? The president's PR people came up with a term to sell the idea, that no one knew what it meant. The project I worked on was dripping in extra costs brought on by red tape. The manual for sourcing the grant is two volumes in 3" ring binders, and everything had to be perfect, or it would be rejected, because the state knows how much money they lose trying to manage the project. So it is in their best interest to approve projects which are simple, because they get a cut of the funding. Yes, it's all a lot of crap. When the president made that comment, "Shovel-ready was not as ... uh .. shovel-ready as we expected," what he's saying is that the implementation of the program, because of the complexity (everything must be american made certified, etc., etc.), and because of the amount of government regulation, kept things from moving forward like they should have. That's something that was not touched on by Krauthammer or the author of the post on this site, which is why I say, nobody really knows what they're talking about, but choose to dig on the president anyway. It's all in good fun, but it makes for an uninformed bunch of whining. The bureocracy was already in place. The joke he made is about red tape, not the economy. The ARRA actually, in principle, made jobs, from my experience. Not efficiently, but it did extend the economy for a bit. It just had to struggle through paperwork and gov't regs. Could it have been better? Absolutely. And that's the comment the president was making.

Posted by: isostan at June 13, 2011 08:14 PM (caurI)

416 @giftofgab - BTW, it's your state that was given a chunk of cash and they made the decision to beautify their freeway exits instead of doing something else with it. Maybe they couldn't find any better applications for the grant money to approve?

Posted by: isostan at June 13, 2011 08:16 PM (caurI)

417 I went to dinner withHillary last night. The waiter took my order first. "I'll have the steak, medium rare." The waiter asked, "You aren't worried about the mad cow?"
"Nah, she can order for herself."
And that's when the fight started...

Posted by: President Lord High Barack at June 13, 2011 08:21 PM (7FgWm)

418 "Hey, how about the douchebag with the big truck and eight effin' kids???

Talk about shovel ready!"

Ba-dum.

Posted by: Barcky at June 13, 2011 08:27 PM (tybhV)

419 We'll see if it still plays in the borscht belt in 2012.

Posted by: bergerbilder at June 13, 2011 08:28 PM (S1Ttj)

420 What...me worry?

Posted by: Barack E. Newman at June 13, 2011 08:40 PM (qM9qd)

421
Y'all should know by now the chicken crossed the road to show the possum it could be done.

Shame on you.

Posted by: irongrampa at June 13, 2011 08:43 PM (ud5dN)

422 brb, remindin everyone *I* killed Osama

I want everyone to know, I stand with our President. As long as I can be naked.

Posted by: Tony W. at June 13, 2011 08:54 PM (JEvSn)

423 420 We'll see if it still plays in the borscht belt in 2012.
Posted by: bergerbilder at June 13, 2011 08:28 PM (S1Ttj)


In Russia, Borscht belt YOU!!

Posted by: Ivan Ivanovich Ivanoff at June 13, 2011 08:56 PM (kUaEF)

424 Why did the dead baby cross the road?

It was stapled to the chicken!

Posted by: CoolCzech at June 13, 2011 08:57 PM (kUaEF)

425 And now...


Some Retro Prague Spring 1968 humor:


Several Russian soldiers check into a Prague hotel. Each of them puts his mark, "XXX."

The concierge asks them what that stands for. All of them reply, "Ivan Ivanovich Ivanoff!"

This goes on for some time, until suddenly one signs "XXXX."

The concierge asks, "What does that stand for?"

The Russian proudly explains, "Professor Ivan Ivanovich Ivanoff!"

*rimshot*

I guess you had to be there...

Posted by: CoolCzech at June 13, 2011 09:00 PM (kUaEF)

426 I tell you what I'm not going to have. That impeach pie.

Posted by: Barky Obummer at June 13, 2011 09:02 PM (VEDZz)

427 What's the matter with you wingnutz? The economy has recovered. Didn't you hear that?
Heroin Barbie said so!

Posted by: bigred at June 13, 2011 09:08 PM (weBtw)

428 Heroin Barbie said so!

Posted by: bigred at June 13, 2011 09:08 PM (weBtw)

The thread wiener finally stands up!

God, you NAILED it!

Posted by: CoolCzech at June 13, 2011 09:14 PM (kUaEF)

429 Why did the dead baby cross the road?

It was stapled to the chicken!

It would have been a miracle if it survived after being gang-raped by Andrew Sullivan, Bill Maher, and David Frum.

Posted by: Ken at June 13, 2011 09:18 PM (JYADs)

430 336
What I would love to know is what is happening to the amount of adults
who are getting themselves labeled "disabled". One of my secret vices is
watching "Judge Judy". She often asks people how they support
themselves. It is shocking how many of these people are on disability.
Today there was a guy on the show who has 5 kids. Two of the children
get social security, and he has a "side job". "Side job" meaning he is
too lazy to work full time and is living off the kid's social security.





The whole disability thing has just become one more government program for deadbeats to scam.

Posted by: nerdygirl




Oh, you got that right. Either end SSI disability altogether or limit it to people missing limbs or who are paralyzed by injuries that show up on x-rays. No more of this "I'm too stressed out to work" crap. Make 'em too stressed out to not work, I say. If you can't see the disability put them out harvesting crops or something.

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Posted by: Maryapple at June 13, 2011 11:02 PM (aVujO)

433 "...they had to cut down all the trees to print all the bailout money needed to create green jobs to save the environment."
http://tinyurl.com/3rr2bj5

Posted by: theCork at June 13, 2011 11:18 PM (aIj35)

434 Hey Ace, given that there weren't any shovel ready projects, 1. then what was the money spent on? 2. IF there would have been shovel ready projects would the economy have gotten a lift?
Just to play devil's advocate here, given Obama's admission there weren't any shovel ready projects and your confirmation that Obama is incompetent (I agree he is) for not having spent the money as advertised, doesn't this mean Keynesian pump priming of the economy NEVER FAILED BECAUSE it was never really attempted in the first place? Doesn't this give the Dems another shot at the brass ring as it were to throw Obama under the bus and attempt another stimulus?

Posted by: dscott at June 14, 2011 12:30 AM (NGe7F)

435 brb, remindin everyone *I* killed Osama
Posted by: obama at June 13, 2011 07:24 PM


Osama killed Bid Laden? I mean, Bin Laden killed Obama, uh, uh, Obama Bin Laden killed Barack Osama?

Posted by: zombie Ted Kennedy at June 14, 2011 01:01 AM (S1Ttj)

436 real unemployment (U6) is above 16%

Posted by: Pitt at June 14, 2011 07:35 AM (f7ylG)

437 416 @giftofgab - BTW, it's your state that was given a chunk of cash and they made the decision to beautify their freeway exits instead of doing something else with it. Maybe they couldn't find any better applications for the grant money to approve?
Posted by: isostan at June 13, 2011 08:16 PM (caurI)
First off, there is plenty to do in Nevada besides make pretty freeway ramps. But this is the state of REID so it is welfare for anyone to grab and use. Today on the news they spoke of a bridge repair (not here) that had 7 guys working on it and the cost by the end was in the BILLIONS. As far as what the president meant, that is your opinion. But if he and his PR people chose that term to sell it, they had to know that whether the jobs were there or not, the process was another government job security welfare plan. The jokesters here are not uniformed whiners. Perhaps a day of joking about a man who is wholly unqualified to run this country, is purposefully bankrupting this country, is what people need to keep their sanity. In your own words you explain a red tape hindered program. IT was billions in money that did not produce jobs and took us a trillion into debt. But the president gets a chuckle out of that. Call us whiners. We don't cost you anything. He, on the other hand, cost this country's future.

Posted by: unfree slave! at June 14, 2011 09:40 AM (SPVfc)

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