Jesse Jackson Jr. Creating Jobs...With His Mind

I stumbled across this on Beck's radio show (I think it was his but with a guest host or something). It's really something.

The "he" Jackson, Jr. refers to is FDR in a speech to Congress in 1944.

Jackson's large theme is that, well in all honesty I'm not entirely sure. As best as I can tell, he think all jobs come from the First Amendment.

I asked the Congressional Research Service the other day how many jobs are tied to the First Amendment, that amendment added to the Constitution in 1791 by the founders of our Republic. You know what they told me? Congressman, it is impossible to calculate how many jobs are tied to the First Amendment.

I said: Impossible to calculate? I said: Why?

He said because to be an American is tied to the First Amendment. He said: Congressman, you must understand--which I did--that all corporate activity in America is First Amendment activity.

Look at the jobs that come from the First Amendment: Washington Post, Washington Times; New York Post, New York Times; Chicago Tribune, Chicago Sun Times; AM/FM, and all of the radio stations, First Amendment.

ABC, NBC, CBS, C-SPAN, all of the jobs, First Amendment.

Magazines, First Amendment.

iPods, iPhones, applications, First Amendment.

Time Square, First Amendment activity. Advertising, the Super Bowl, First Amendment activity.

All of these jobs--the original capitalists who came to the conclusion that this was worth protecting in our Constitution--established in the freedom system, the greatest jobs program in our Nation's history. They called it freedom of speech. And in that same amendment, they included freedom of religion.

Think about the jobs tied to 501(c)(3)s, 501(c)(4)s, 501(c)(5)s, all of that First Amendment activity. All charitable giving, all foundation activity, all tied to First Amendment activity.

This is just profoundly silly.

First, does Jackson think there was no commerce before the First Amendment was adopted?

More to the point, the First Amendment is not a grant of power to the government is a restriction of power against the government ("Congress shall make no law...."). Yet this genius' solution is to create a whole bunch of "rights" that would empower the government to do all sorts of things and thereby usher in a level of prosperity never before seen in the history of the world. In reality, it's the fact that the government is limited in power and scope (or was at one time) that the genius of free men and women was unleashed to provide goods and services their fellow citizens wanted at a price they agreed upon.

In Jackson's World, simply let the government guarantee what your wants are and magically they will appear.

Let me diagram it out...

Step 1: Pass new amendments to the Constitution

Step 2: ???

Step 3: Profit!

Let me just save Congressman Jackson some time and offer up a proposal for the 28th Amendment to the US Constitution.

Section 1: Each citizen or resident (legal or otherwise) of the United States shall have at all times a net financial worth of no less than One Million US Dollars (to be adjusted annually for inflation).

Section 2: Congress shall be deemed to have the power to pass any law necessary to bring this Amendment into force".

It's fun to mock an idiot like Jackson, Jr. but let's be honest, his "understanding" of what rights are and how the economy works is shared by a lot of people.

Posted by: DrewM. at 02:11 PM



Comments

1 Didn't daddy strong arm a beer distributorship for Jr.? That makes him eligible for government, how?

Posted by: © Sponge at March 08, 2011 02:14 PM (UK9cE)

2 Usually you only find intellect like this in an alley behind 7-11 drinking out of a paper bag.

Posted by: sifty at March 08, 2011 02:14 PM (u4JjU)

3 Thank YOU, Chicago!

You rotten fucks.

Posted by: grognard at March 08, 2011 02:14 PM (NS2Mo)

4 "Obama money!" rant; suit and tie version.

Posted by: USA at March 08, 2011 02:14 PM (YZISw)

5 But what about our inalienable, Constitutionally-freaking-guaran-damn-teed right to free scotch, blow and blow-jobs? Eh, Jessie Junior?

That said, would any of us want any of said items - if they were provided by the fed.gov? Really?

Posted by: DocJ at March 08, 2011 02:15 PM (dt6br)

6 Aye carumba.

Posted by: rdbrewer at March 08, 2011 02:15 PM (EMuWJ)

7 I saw this yesterday. No way to explain the stupid in this dolt. OT- but Rush is on fire talking about Schiller right now!! LOL.

Posted by: jewells45 at March 08, 2011 02:15 PM (l/N7H)

8 Amend the Constitution with new "rights"?

Shit, it's easier to find a magic lamp and rub it for three wishes.

Posted by: EC at March 08, 2011 02:15 PM (mAhn3)

9 We need lots and LOTS of First Amendments!
First Amendment 1.0, 1.2, 1.3....

Posted by: kevlarchick at March 08, 2011 02:16 PM (TNuqz)

10 Why doesn't Junior just retire to his honky hookers and beer distributorship? I mean, why even show up when the beer and womyn is free? Free at last, free at least, OMG, free at last. When will white guys ever be able to say that?

Posted by: Dirty Ernie at March 08, 2011 02:16 PM (Q5+Og)

11
prOn?

1st Amendment.

Posted by: Soothsayer has a problem with Wang Dong at March 08, 2011 02:16 PM (uFokq)

12 You know, I'm completely zen with this. I will recommend that Illinois voters rectify this situation as soon as is possible, but given that J3 is in office, we're going to get this level of stupid.

I'll begin worrying when others stop laughing.

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) at March 08, 2011 02:17 PM (8y9MW)

13 It's fun to mock an idiot like Jackson, Jr. but let's be honest, his
"understanding" of what rights are and how the economy works is shared
by a lot of people.


It's a good thing the Department of Education and the teachers' unions do the hard work of spreading the stupid around.

Posted by: NC Ref at March 08, 2011 02:17 PM (/izg2)

14
NASCAR?

1st Amendment.

Posted by: Soothsayer has a problem with Wang Dong at March 08, 2011 02:17 PM (uFokq)

15 Tiger Blood Amendment.
WINNING.

Posted by: Charlie Sheen at March 08, 2011 02:17 PM (TNuqz)

16 Hate to tell you, but J-Cubed's mindset is precisely what "critical thinking" in public schools has wrought. I promise you a third of the nation could read what Jackson said, not even knowing who said it, and think "Hmm, that sounds like it makes sense!"

Posted by: George Orwell at March 08, 2011 02:17 PM (AZGON)

17 Two-tenths of one percent of the influence in the House of Representatives is juuuuuuuuuuuusssst a bit too much in this case.

Posted by: Circa (Insert Year Here) at March 08, 2011 02:17 PM (7utQ2)

18 The First Amendment (Amendment I) to the United States Constitution is part of the Bill of Rights. The amendment prohibits the making of any law "respecting an establishment of religion", impeding the free exercise of religion, infringing on the freedom of speech, infringing on the freedom of the press, interfering with the right to peaceably assemble or prohibiting the petitioning for a governmental redress of grievances.

= jobs. I'm just not seeing it.

Posted by: © Sponge at March 08, 2011 02:18 PM (UK9cE)

19
This here microphone in front of me...

1st Amendment. Everywhere you turn, it's all connected to the First Amendment.


Posted by: Soothsayer has a problem with Wang Dong at March 08, 2011 02:18 PM (uFokq)

20 I've produced a mathematical freaking proof that all jobs are ultimately dependent on jock itch remedy and stanky coohie douche sales. The science is settled.

Posted by: Purple Avenger at March 08, 2011 02:18 PM (i8J8M)

21 Lipstick Lesbians?
1st Amendment.

Posted by: Hilary at March 08, 2011 02:19 PM (TNuqz)

22 Let me put it another way. What Jerkson said is an example of "big picture" and "out-of-the-box" thinking so beloved by liberals. He would earn nods of agreement had he said this to Nina Totenkopf. Uh, Totenberg.

Posted by: George Orwell at March 08, 2011 02:19 PM (AZGON)

23
I thought Jackson proved that jobs are created by him banging hot South American chicks.

Posted by: moron at March 08, 2011 02:20 PM (nEa/y)

24 Jesse Jackson Jr. must be one hell of a fan of the Second Amendment then. How many gun manufacturing, gun maintenance, gun/ammo/sporting sales-based jobs... so on and so forth exist because we have a right to bear arms in this country?

Posted by: Kratos (Ghost of Sparta) at March 08, 2011 02:21 PM (9hSKh)

25 I thought Jackson proved that jobs are created by him banging hot South American chicks.

Clearly, our recovery depends upon Jackson's healthy libido and a constant supply of sustainably farmed Brazilian whores.

Posted by: George Orwell at March 08, 2011 02:22 PM (AZGON)

26 I love you, Boo!!!1!!1!
But hey, where's my free gas? This shit is off the hook.

Posted by: Peggy Joseph at March 08, 2011 02:22 PM (pLTLS)

27 Okay, let's stipulate that all jobs are related to (and, by insinuation, dependent upon) the 1st Amendment. Does that mean that people without jobs are being denied their 1st Amendment Rights? 'Cause, if so, I'm so going to get myself fired and then sue the Federal Government for not defending my 1st Amendment rights.

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) at March 08, 2011 02:22 PM (8y9MW)

28 How does this dumbfuck's family have a beer distributorship?

Posted by: boniface ballers at March 08, 2011 02:22 PM (bPbwB)

29 Didn't he also call for amendments guaranteeing jobs, housing, hookers and blow, etc.? It's really all just Eurosocialism with a new coat of paint.

Posted by: joncelli at March 08, 2011 02:22 PM (RD7QR)

30 But, what about all those fucking businesses all over the world that make goods to sell and make a profit to sustain their existence in countries that DON'T have the US Constitution OR the First Amendment? How are they possible?!?!?!

Posted by: © Sponge at March 08, 2011 02:23 PM (UK9cE)

31 "28 How does this dumbfuck's family have a beer distributorship?"

Cuz the Busch family gave them one. Damn Busch's. Stay out da Busch's.

Posted by: Dirty Ernie at March 08, 2011 02:24 PM (Q5+Og)

32 And I'm sure there are people out there who are banging their beer cans on their coffee tables shouting, "That's what I"m talking about, Jesse! You can send me my iPod and tablet PC when you send along my mortgage check and Skittle-shitting unicorn! HOO DOGGY!"
The stupid. It burns.

Posted by: MWR at March 08, 2011 02:24 PM (4df7R)

33 Does that mean that people without jobs are being
denied their 1st Amendment Rights? 'Cause, if so, I'm so going to get
myself fired and then sue the Federal Government for not defending my
1st Amendment rights.

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) at March 08, 2011 02:22 PM (8y9MW)


That's damn brilliant, right there.

Posted by: © Sponge at March 08, 2011 02:24 PM (UK9cE)

34 Posted by: joncelli at March 08, 2011 02:22 PM (RD7QR)

Yes. Well, the first two, anyway. Presumably the other two are already enshrined in the 1st Amendment.

I do want to ask him, "Triple J, how, exactly, is putting an amendment in the constitution going to guarantee that all Americans who want one have a job? Or, indeed, a house?"

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) at March 08, 2011 02:24 PM (8y9MW)

35 28 How does this dumbfuck's family have a beer distributorship?
Posted by: boniface ballers at March 08, 2011 02:22 PM (bPbwB)

Because Anheuser-Busch would rather pay the Danegeld than get picketed by Jesse's dad and his minions.

Posted by: joncelli at March 08, 2011 02:24 PM (RD7QR)

36 The Fourth Amendment has created a lot more jobs than the First Amendment.

Posted by: Congressional Information Office at March 08, 2011 02:25 PM (QKKT0)

37 Well, there's really not much to worry about if that's what passes for intelligence coming out of Mordor.

Posted by: Gmac at March 08, 2011 02:25 PM (Ra9Mp)

38 Share by a lot of people commonly referred to as retarded.

Posted by: AndrewsDad at March 08, 2011 02:25 PM (C2//T)

39 As Jackson (Sr and Jr), Sharpton and Obama all know - the power of mau-mau is amazing.

Posted by: Dirty Ernie at March 08, 2011 02:25 PM (Q5+Og)

40 Posted by: Congressional Information Office at March 08, 2011 02:25 PM (QKKT0)

I would stipulate that the 2nd has, as well.

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) at March 08, 2011 02:25 PM (8y9MW)

41 This just proves my theory that Jesse Jackson was the real target at the Lorraine Motel.

Posted by: Dr Spank at March 08, 2011 02:25 PM (1fB+3)

42 How does this dumbfuck's family have a beer distributorship?

Posted by: boniface ballers at March 08, 2011 02:22 PM (bPbwB)


See the post at #1.....

Posted by: © Sponge at March 08, 2011 02:25 PM (UK9cE)

43 First, does Jackson think there was no commerce before the First Amendment was adopted?

Well, yeah. That is the way it was. No commerce at all. Just killing injuns, eating the "tastey" bits and leaving the rest on the ground. That and a whole lotta that fuckin'. Good times. Man, oh man, good times.

Posted by: That Guy with injun breath who was doin' all that fuckin' at March 08, 2011 02:26 PM (TXKVh)

44 OT: Dems Latest Complaint? The new Styrofoam cups in the House cafeteria might give them cancer.
"The letter asks Boehner to reconsider the switch away from recyclable to polystyrene-based foam containers, and warns that the health of visitors to the Capitol could be compromised.
The change to Styrofoam caused a stir among some staffers and Democratic lawmakers on Capitol Hill late last month, when the recyclable material preferred by former Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif.) was replaced. Lawmakers mostly raised concerns about Styrofoam's impact on the environment."
The letter to Speaker Boehner is enclosed in the article.

Posted by: Miss'80sBaby at March 08, 2011 02:26 PM (UO6+e)

45 At least he doesn't think Guam is going to capsize.
I think.

Posted by: Sean Bannion at March 08, 2011 02:26 PM (sbV1u)

46 I tried to tell you Morons about the guy who actually ran against JJ Jr. in the 2010 election, Isaac Hayes. Did you moneybomb him? Because if he runs again in 2012, he will need our help and the help of everyone who now sees what a frikkin' cretin JJ Jr. is.

Posted by: stuiec at March 08, 2011 02:27 PM (JuWS+)

47 OT: I'm not particularly a James Bond fan, but I know folks here are. So this may make you toss your cookies.
Daniel Craig Dresses as a Woman in Insufferably Sanctimonious PSA(John Nolte at Big Hollywood)
Yes, right. Let's have the guy who portrays Alpha male James Bond dress like a woman to make some trite point about sexual equality. WTF? Who the hell thought this was a good idea?

Posted by: MWR at March 08, 2011 02:27 PM (4df7R)

48 More wisdom from one of America's foremost Socialist Workers Paradises. Build a fence.

Posted by: snort! at March 08, 2011 02:27 PM (K/USr)

49 This is as prolific as M. Lauer saying to Santorum this morning on the Today Show that people don't really want to talk about social issues.
It's interesting."We"don't want to talk about social issues. Yet they refuse to talk about the current state of the economy.
Besides C. Sheen, what can we actually talk about Matt??

Posted by: laceyunderalls at March 08, 2011 02:27 PM (pLTLS)

50 Wow, that's some weapons grade stupidity on full display right there. Yeesh. Of course, there are many libtards who would applaud larding up the Constitution with all kinds of "rights"--for certain groups of people.

Posted by: runningrn at March 08, 2011 02:27 PM (ihSHD)

51 At least he doesn't think Guam is going to capsize.

I think.

Posted by: Sean Bannion at March 08, 2011 02:26 PM (sbV1u)

guam? I doubt he ever heard of it

Posted by: nevergiveup at March 08, 2011 02:27 PM (0GFWk)

52 It's stuff like this that makes me certain that there is absolutely no hope for our nation to ever recover or realize any portion of it's potential ever again.

How can ANYONE vote for idiots like this? There was a time when statements like this would get you locked in an asylum or drowned in a well.

At least we don't elect people to Congress that were previously impeached from a federal office for felonies... Oh wait...

Well, at least no one in Congress thinks that humans landed on Mars... oh... never mind...

Yeah, there is absolutely no hope.

Posted by: Damiano at March 08, 2011 02:27 PM (3nrx7)

53 What Jackson says:

Look at the jobs that come from the First Amendment: Washington Post, Washington Times; New York Post, New York Times; Chicago Tribune, Chicago Sun Times; AM/FM, and all of the radio stations, First Amendment.

ABC, NBC, CBS, C-SPAN, all of the jobs, First Amendment.

Magazines, First Amendment.

iPods, iPhones, applications, First Amendment.

Time Square, First Amendment activity. Advertising, the Super Bowl, First Amendment activity.


What a liberal hears:

blah blah blah blah blah blah First Amendment blah blah blah blah blah blah New York Times blah blah blah blah blah blah iPods, iPhones, applications, First Amendment blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah he's liberal and black teh awesome

Posted by: George Orwell at March 08, 2011 02:28 PM (AZGON)

54 "That and a whole lotta that fuckin'. Good times. Man, oh man, good times."

Precious moments.

Posted by: Dirty Ernie at March 08, 2011 02:28 PM (Q5+Og)

55 The Fourth Amendment has created a lot more jobs than the First Amendment.

Posted by: Congressional Information Office at March 08, 2011 02:25 PM (QKKT0)

I disagree.

Posted by: Debbie in Dallas at March 08, 2011 02:28 PM (/izg2)

56 I want to meet the fucker that he talked to:

I asked the Congressional Research Service the other day how many jobs
are tied to the First Amendment, that amendment added to the
Constitution in 1791 by the founders of our Republic. You know what they
told me? Congressman, it is impossible to calculate how many jobs are
tied to the First Amendment.

If you don't respond to this question with "WTF are you talking about? GTF outta here!!" you should be one of the unemployed.

Posted by: © Sponge at March 08, 2011 02:28 PM (UK9cE)

57 Yeah, there is absolutely no hope.
Posted by: Damiano at March 08, 2011 02:27 PM (3nrx7)

That's why booze is still legal

Posted by: nevergiveup at March 08, 2011 02:29 PM (0GFWk)

58 Well sure, freedom of speech sounds like a good idea, but I'm not going to include it if its notgoing to create any jobs.

Posted by: James Madison at March 08, 2011 02:29 PM (QKKT0)

59 OT: Dems Latest Complaint? The new Styrofoam cups in the House cafeteria might give them cancer.

weasel zippers in comments:

gastorgrab says:
March 8, 2011 at 12:18 pm
The story doesnít mention the pretense of the liberal argument.
One of the Democrats found out that the supplier is a sub-supplier owned by Koch Industries.
Thatís the real reason they are complaining.

Posted by: George Orwell at March 08, 2011 02:29 PM (AZGON)

60 The Peter Principle!

(I don't know if I should giggle or shit my pants.)

Posted by: That Guy who's always saying "The Peter Principle!" at March 08, 2011 02:29 PM (TXKVh)

61 Also creating (or saving) billions of jobs worldwide? Oxygen!! That's right you dumb-ass, knuckle-dragging, Bible-thumping Neanderthals: Oxygen creates (or saves) billions of jobs. Without Oxygen, no one could breath and do their job. So, that one element is responsible for all the economic activity on the planet Earth. You can imagine how much that one element is worth, how many jobs are dependent upon it.

Therefore, I propose that we add 1 new element to the periodic table each month until everyone has a job and $1 million.

Posted by: My Reality at March 08, 2011 02:29 PM (3izQj)

62 Posted by: MWR at March 08, 2011 02:27 PM (4df7R)

I'm absolutely not surprised. Despite the good job the production staff on the James Bond movies have done, Daniel Craig is a 100%, certified (certifiable) lefty, and probably (in real life) a bigger Beta Male than Ace and AllahPundit combined.

Posted by: Miss'80sBaby at March 08, 2011 02:26 PM (UO6+e)


And his response should be, "Excuse me. I need to take a sip of my coffee."

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) at March 08, 2011 02:30 PM (8y9MW)

63 did APPL go parabolic on his iPod comment? anyone?

Posted by: Ugrev at March 08, 2011 02:30 PM (862vz)

64 Yeah, there is absolutely no hope. Posted by: Damiano at March 08, 2011 02:27 PM (3nrx7) That's why booze is still legal
Posted by: nevergiveup at March 08, 2011 02:29 PM (0GFWk)
Cheers!

Posted by: ErikW at March 08, 2011 02:31 PM (iuRdZ)

65 I'm expecting to see a version of this crap show up on the Facebook pages of my leftard "friends".

Posted by: Damn Sockpuppet at March 08, 2011 02:31 PM (YmPwQ)

66 How many more jobs could we create or save if we were permitted to yell "Fire!" in a crowded theater?

Posted by: George Orwell at March 08, 2011 02:31 PM (AZGON)

67 Social security? You better believe it was the first amendment.

Posted by: Grenade at March 08, 2011 02:31 PM (7ahtU)

68 Oh, and also funny how someone who basically has drawn a salary over the years without ever really having to work is screaming about jobs.
I hate to be all subterranean, but Democrat policies have destroyed the black family as well as the will for blacks to work. You could create all kinds of jobs, and these people would prefer to collect welfare while sitting on their asses, watching their flatscreens, drinking their fortified alcoholic beverages, and popping out more children without the slightest inclination of trying to find a job. I

Posted by: runningrn at March 08, 2011 02:31 PM (ihSHD)

69 it makes perfect sense to a lefty because to them, there is no difference between positive and negative liberties

Posted by: A.G. at March 08, 2011 02:32 PM (oAVyq)

70 I do want to ask him, "Triple J, how, exactly, is
putting an amendment in the constitution going to guarantee that all
Americans who want one have a job? Or, indeed, a house?"


Posted by: AllenG

If you read his remarks you would realize his answer is 'yes.'

Quoting FDR:
" ``In our day these economic truths have become accepted as self-evident. We've come to accept, so to speak, a second Bill of Rights under which a new basis of security and prosperity can be established for all--regardless of station, race, or creed.''

So what does Roosevelt do? On January 11, the only President who's ever had to confront unemployment at the level that we are confronting it right now, Mr. Speaker, he turns to the Constitution of the United States and he says, These are the things we need to ask:

If the First Amendment can guarantee us 51 percent of all jobs and from it can come iPod and laptops and the Internet and unprecedented economic growth, he says, we need to add to the Constitution the right to a family to have a decent home. "

Posted by: goldbricker esq at March 08, 2011 02:32 PM (S59+B)

71 18 The First Amendment (Amendment I) to the United States Constitution is part of the Bill of Rights. The amendment prohibits the making of any law "respecting an establishment of religion", impeding the free exercise of religion, infringing on the freedom of speech, infringing on the freedom of the press, interfering with the right to peaceably assemble or prohibiting the petitioning for a governmental redress of grievances.= jobs. I'm just not seeing it.
Posted by: © Sponge at March 08, 2011 02:18 PM (UK9cE)
1) First Amendment
2) ???
3) Jobs!!
Makes total sense to us!

Posted by: Lefty Sheeple in Thrall to J-Cubed at March 08, 2011 02:32 PM (4df7R)

72 "I asked the Congressional Research Service the other day .... You know what they told me? Congressman, it is impossible to calculate how many jobs are tied to the First Amendment."

So, can we get bipartisan support to cut their funding?

Posted by: USA at March 08, 2011 02:32 PM (YZISw)

73 Posted by: © Sponge at March 08, 2011 02:28 PM (UK9cE)

Now that's not exactly fair. If I were asked a question that stupid by my boss, I'd probably give the same type of answer. You can read the "Are you stupid?" between the lines of that staffer's response. However, since J3 is stupid, he didn't realize that was in there.

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) at March 08, 2011 02:32 PM (8y9MW)

74 Wow, that just hurts to watch.

Posted by: dogcatcher at March 08, 2011 02:33 PM (NuPNl)

75 This waste of congressional time brought to you by majority-minority districts.
No wonder we don't have time to address unimportant issues like going bankrupt.

Posted by: Vashta Nerada at March 08, 2011 02:34 PM (hiFDo)

76 I'd like to cut his nuts off.

Posted by: Steve Jobs at March 08, 2011 02:34 PM (EL+OC)

77 I asked the Congressional Research Service the other day which amendment gave us the electric guitar. He told me it was the same one that gave us the dildo. Then he smiled and jiggled his briefcase toward me as if to say, "Wanna see something... weird?"

Posted by: Dang at March 08, 2011 02:34 PM (TXKVh)

78 Posted by: goldbricker esq at March 08, 2011 02:32 PM (S59+B)

Still doesn't address the "how" part of my question. I know he believes it can, I want to ask him HOW it can.

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) at March 08, 2011 02:34 PM (8y9MW)

79 He just reminds you of that great line from the original Superman movie. You wonder how his brain generates enough power to drive his legs.

Posted by: George Orwell at March 08, 2011 02:34 PM (AZGON)

80 "59 OT: Dems Latest Complaint? The new Styrofoam cups in the House cafeteria might give them cancer. weasel zippers in comments: gastorgrab says: March 8, 2011 at 12:18 pm The story doesnít mention the pretense of the liberal argument. One of the Democrats found out that the supplier is a sub-supplier owned by Koch Industries. Thatís the real reason they are complaining."

I thought it was because demos like drinking and eating off of material that was formerly used to wipe someone ass.

Posted by: Dirty Ernie at March 08, 2011 02:34 PM (Q5+Og)

81 File this under Sweet Baby Jesus!

Posted by: laceyunderalls at March 08, 2011 02:34 PM (pLTLS)

82 51 At least he doesn't think Guam is going to capsize. I think. Posted by: Sean Bannion at March 08, 2011 02:26 PM (sbV1u) guam? I doubt he ever heard of it
Posted by: nevergiveup at March 08, 2011 02:27 PM (0GFWk)
Yes I have! It's that stuff you chew! And sometimes you can even blow BUBBLES with it.
First amendment!

Posted by: Jesse Jackson, JR. at March 08, 2011 02:35 PM (4df7R)

83 Oh shit. It's that Jackson numbnut on the phone again. This time he wants to know how manyblack Americans owe their cancer survivalto the Commerce Clause. You take it.

Posted by: The Congressional Research Service at March 08, 2011 02:35 PM (QKKT0)

84 You'll see in the best selling book of all time, stuff I said, that I said "the first amendment was made to create jobs". Nothing else was important at the time.

Posted by: Thomas Jefferson at March 08, 2011 02:35 PM (qqrPQ)

85 This is exactly what The One proposed to Katie Couric during the campaign. "What's wrong with giving a bunch of money to windmill and solar energy companies? We get windmills and solar panels, and people get jobs. And it's all free!"

Posted by: arhooley at March 08, 2011 02:35 PM (0H+VD)

86 Posted by: The Congressional Research Service at March 08, 2011 02:35 PM (QKKT0)

LOL

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) at March 08, 2011 02:36 PM (8y9MW)

87 Let me propose Section 3 to that amendment:
3. All Americans henceforth shall be above average.

Posted by: real joe at March 08, 2011 02:37 PM (IpIBJ)

88 Communist dictatorships and the Nazis had lots of media jobs too and they didn't need a 1st amendment to produce them.

Posted by: Purple Avenger at March 08, 2011 02:37 PM (i8J8M)

89 This "jobs" thing... I don't think it means what Democrats think it means.

Maybe it's just me, but I always understood a "job" to be something that produces value that is greater than the amount invested. The person performing this "job" was then compensated with a potion of the excess value.

Maybe I need to go back to school so I can learn better. Years of running profitable businesses has clearly distorted my perception of things.

Posted by: Damiano at March 08, 2011 02:37 PM (3nrx7)

90 Somewhere I read that Jackson says successful treatments of sickle cell anemia are due to the Supremacy Clause, but I lost the link.

Posted by: George Orwell at March 08, 2011 02:37 PM (AZGON)

91 I watched, I listened, I became disoriented and nauseated. Then I realized I still have a job and a house. Hooray for the First Amendment! And even better, hooray for the Second Amendment, too. I just loves me some of them amendments.
In the end, there will only be Jessie Jackson, Jr.

Posted by: mikeyslaw at March 08, 2011 02:37 PM (QMGr1)

92 The Hill: "Senate John Kerry (D-Mass.) warned Tuesday that spending cuts could wipe out future government achievements, like the invention of the Internet, which Kerry credited to Washington."
So the government creates everything, cowboy poetry is essentiaol to everyday life, and jobs come from the 1st Amendment. Not only that, but Harry Reid is pretending he doesn'tget to set his own schedule as Senate Majority Leader.

Posted by: Miss'80sBaby at March 08, 2011 02:38 PM (UO6+e)

93 I do want to ask him, "Triple J, how, exactly, is putting an amendment in the constitution going to guarantee that all Americans who want one have a job? Or, indeed, a house?
Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) at March 08, 2011 02:24 PM (8y9MW)
Easy! Big Oil! Big Oil's got all the money, and they're oppressing people by not giving that money away. If people don't have a job, it's because Big Oil isn't employing them. Make Big Oil give people jobs! Make Big Oil give people homes! And Big Pharma! And Wall Street! It won't be justice till there's a ghetto kid in saggy pants with an iPod and a brand new MacBook on the floor of the stock market, making money fly!
First amendment!

Posted by: Jesse Jackson, JR. at March 08, 2011 02:39 PM (4df7R)

94 I thinks its safe to say that both Jr and Sr. suffer from an acute form of Loggorhea.

Posted by: dananjcon at March 08, 2011 02:39 PM (pr+up)

95 Socialism. It's not just for breakfast anymore.

Posted by: Guy Fawkes at March 08, 2011 02:39 PM (qqrPQ)

96 "The Hill: "Senate John Kerry (D-Mass.) warned Tuesday that spending cuts could wipe out future government achievements...."

EXACTLY!

Posted by: USA at March 08, 2011 02:39 PM (YZISw)

97 When James Madison wrote the Second Law of Thermodynamics, he intended it to be the part of the Constitution enshrining a woman's right to choose, as it so proudly stands today.

Posted by: Jesse Jackson, Jr. at March 08, 2011 02:40 PM (AZGON)

98 I asked the Congressional Research Service the other day which amendment gave us those big ass wheeled roller skates like that dog whisperer guy wears on the tv. He looked me straight in the eye, "Eleventy. Always been eleventy."

Posted by: Dang at March 08, 2011 02:40 PM (TXKVh)

99 Posted by: Damiano at March 08, 2011 02:37 PM (3nrx7)

Actually, a job is just being paid for the product of your labor. Whether or not that product is worth more than the land/labor/supplies is up to the market and the business owner.

Don't conflate "successful business" with "jobs." Then you might think that no one in the UAW had a job.

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) at March 08, 2011 02:40 PM (8y9MW)

100 like the invention of the Internet, which Kerry credited to Washington.

The only credit Washington can take is in NOT stepping in to fuck it up for a few years while it was taking form in the beginning.

Posted by: Purple Avenger at March 08, 2011 02:40 PM (i8J8M)

101 Add more amendments! Add more amendments! Add more amendments! Add more amendments! Add more amendments! Add more amendments!

Posted by: The Wisconsin Teachers Union at March 08, 2011 02:41 PM (QKKT0)

102 So I was conversatin' wit da man in the Congressionizzle Information Office and axed him how many jobs are tied to sunlight. 'Cause businesses are open when the sun's shinin', dig?

Except when they ain't because they dependin' on the LACK of sunlight, know what I'm sayin'? So I was droppin' the fuckin' SCIENCE on my man and he's noddin' his head so hard it looks and sounds like he's bangin' it on his desk.

So then I axe him, "fuckin' magnets - how do they work?" But he aint answerin'. Or movin'. He just layin' there. Guess homie was on his break. True. True.

Posted by: Empire of Jeff at March 08, 2011 02:41 PM (F1BaX)

103 Posted by: Jesse Jackson, JR. at March 08, 2011 02:39 PM (4df7R)

Actually, I'm sort of afraid that's the answer I'd get.

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) at March 08, 2011 02:41 PM (8y9MW)

104 That is the most assinine line of thinking by a person not otherwise brain damaged. You could take every amendment and drill down to connect a job required because of it. China has a number of papers and magazines. They have TV. They have electronic communication devices. They have product advertisement,

They don't have freedom of speech as defined by the 1st.

Posted by: polynikes at March 08, 2011 02:41 PM (yKP4s)

105 >>>I thinks its safe to say that both Jr and Sr. suffer from an acute form of Loggorhea.

Or diarrhea...it's easy to get those to confused - if you're Jesse Jackson Jr.

Posted by: Sean Bannion at March 08, 2011 02:42 PM (sbV1u)

106 Cowboy poetry
For Sen. Brokeback Harry Reid.
No, we are not broke!

(This bad, job-creating haiku brought to you by the First Amendment and the letters A and J.)

Posted by: joncelli at March 08, 2011 02:42 PM (RD7QR)

107 Posted by: Empire of Jeff at March 08, 2011 02:41 PM (F1BaX)

Please tell me you do stand-up comedy. I would find a way to come to a show.

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) at March 08, 2011 02:42 PM (8y9MW)

108
This Week in Future Government Achievements...

High Speed Rail.

Trains reaching speeds in excess of thirty miles per hour.




Posted by: Soothsayer has a problem with Wang Dong at March 08, 2011 02:43 PM (uFokq)

109 Maybe it's just me, but I always understood a "job" to be something that produces value that is greater than the amount invested. The person performing this "job" was then compensated with a potion of the excess value.
Posted by: Damiano at March 08, 2011 02:37 PM (3nrx7)
What a quaint notion!
No, you see, a job is where one is paid by the NEA to perform your art of nude, yoga, pole sitting after being painted green and dipped in Rice Krispies at such venues as Burning Man.

Posted by: ErikW at March 08, 2011 02:43 PM (iuRdZ)

110 I do have to give Triple J props for being so baldfaced with his shameless vote pandering and stupidity...it isn't often you see it on such bold display, even now.
Free cold beer and pizza for everyone! Vote for me!

Posted by: unknown jane at March 08, 2011 02:44 PM (5/yRG)

111 The flip side of this coin is that with all the lost jobs the First Amendment is actually getting smaller. It's true. Look at the Constitution. It's so very small now you can barely read it. All true. Look it up.

Posted by: Dang at March 08, 2011 02:44 PM (TXKVh)

112 I like how liberals always conflate "rights" to something material, money, houses, cars, computers, ipods...it never ends.

They nary give a thought to how those things come into existence and how they are paid for.

Posted by: Guy Fawkes at March 08, 2011 02:44 PM (qqrPQ)

113 "Senate John Kerry (D-Mass.) warned Tuesday that spending cuts could wipe out future government achievements...."


Posted by: USA at March 08, 2011 02:39 PM

Do not mess with the space-time continuum!

Posted by: arhooley at March 08, 2011 02:44 PM (0H+VD)

114 The Hill: "Senate John Kerry (D-Mass.) warned Tuesday that spending cuts could wipe out future government achievements, like the invention of the Internet, which Kerry credited to Washington."
PLEASE PRAISE GOD LET IT BE SO.
I think AlGore's going to have something to say about Kerry claiming the invention of the internet as a"government" accomplishment.

Posted by: MWR at March 08, 2011 02:45 PM (4df7R)

115 8 There was a pretty good X Files episode that covers this topic -- one of my favorites.

Posted by: unknown jane at March 08, 2011 02:45 PM (5/yRG)

116 Replace JJ Jr. with Charlie Sheen; he makes more sense.

Posted by: Jeffrey Quick at March 08, 2011 02:45 PM (g9neE)

117 Posted by: Empire of Jeff at March 08, 2011 02:41 PM

If'n you don't knock it off, I'm coming to your house and burying you in a gross of ruined keyboards.

Posted by: George Orwell at March 08, 2011 02:45 PM (AZGON)

118
Remember when GOVERNMENT invented GOVERNMENT and wrote the CONSTITUTION?

Posted by: Alternate Universe Spurwing Plover at March 08, 2011 02:45 PM (uFokq)

119 Nice rant!
Does JJ Jr. also drink Tigers Blood?

Posted by: Roadking at March 08, 2011 02:46 PM (M7bLp)

120
Is it possible for GOVERNMENT to create PROBLEM so big that even GOVERNMENT can't FIX it?

Posted by: Alternate Universe Spurwing Plover at March 08, 2011 02:46 PM (uFokq)

121 Posted by: Empire of Jeff at March 08, 2011 02:41 PM (F1BaX)
LMAO!
"I was droppin'the fuckin'SCIENCE on my man..." is what really brings the room together.

Posted by: MWR at March 08, 2011 02:46 PM (4df7R)

122 Government Achievements: the post office, Amtrak, and NASA. All "achievements" that, when done by the private sector, are enormously profitable and self sustaining.

Never mind that we need to fund some more First Amendment cowboy poetry festival jobs. It's not as if a festival that draws thousands of people would ever get funded by a private, for profit person or company, operate on half the budget and develop each year.

I give up. I am sitting home on my ass and doing nothing but watch it all crash and burn. Let the riots commence.

Posted by: Damiano at March 08, 2011 02:47 PM (3nrx7)

123 Posted by: Guy Fawkes at March 08, 2011 02:44 PM (qqrPQ)

Actually, I think they do it on purpose. The point is that if you water down the word "rights" enough, it will lose its meaning. What, exactly is a "right" to a house or a computer or whatever? So people will come to think of a "right" as a) something the Government gives you, and b) something that gives you something "nice."

Now, proceed down this road a little, and you'll see that, at least as to A, what the Government gives, the Government can withhold. Then you will see a) the annulment of the actual Bill of Rights and b) the enslavement (in fact, if not in name) all Americans.

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) at March 08, 2011 02:47 PM (8y9MW)

124 Jesse is hanging out with Charlie Sheen. Tell me it's not true.

Posted by: Marcus at March 08, 2011 02:48 PM (CHrmZ)

125 Empire of Jeff I would like to hire you for my next party.

Posted by: jewells45 at March 08, 2011 02:49 PM (l/N7H)

126 So, if I'm analyzing this right, J-cubed took an analogy of FDR's -- that having a job and home ownership has become so enshrined as to be like amendments to the constitution -- and completely misconstrued it, thus making poor sumbitches at the Congressional Information Office have to stand there and keep from breaking into laughter when he asks about it? Is that a fair summary?

Posted by: joncelli at March 08, 2011 02:49 PM (RD7QR)

127 In the very first nanoseconds following the Big Bang, the First Amendment inflated the universe from a volume smaller than a quark to a ball of fuckingly hot spazzicles, ten to the bazillion meters wide, shaped like the capitol dome, or a really big beer distributorship.

Posted by: Stephen Fucking Hawking at March 08, 2011 02:49 PM (AZGON)

128 If by first amendment Jesse Jr means protest/boycott then yes he and Daddy + acorn... have derived their jobs from that practice.

That and a justice system weighted against companies being sure the facts in a case mean they can predict an outcome.

Posted by: Buzzsaw at March 08, 2011 02:50 PM (tf9Ne)

129 So we can pump tax dollars through government to magically create a bunch of government services, (and government housing) that folks will buy the private equivalent of if they can, and magically by creating this stuff people don't want to buy, and taxing them for it, we create infinite prosperity? Welcome to socialism buddy, the hard core stuff.

Posted by: MikeTheMoose at March 08, 2011 02:50 PM (0q2P7)

130 J Squared showed me how to do the shakedown really well.

Posted by: J Cubed at March 08, 2011 02:51 PM (qqrPQ)

131 I asked the Congressional Research Service the other day how much of all that fuckin' goin' on out there is tied to the First Amendment.

"That would be the booty." I just stared at him. Then we both started laughing. Really hard.

Posted by: Dang at March 08, 2011 02:51 PM (TXKVh)

132 126 Kinda sorta...but then the free iPod thingys and laptops appeared...at which point the part where Triple J whipped out the genie lamp got cut fromt the clip...I think he now owns a solid gold wheelchair and a bag of turnips with which to pay down the deficit

Posted by: unknown jane at March 08, 2011 02:52 PM (5/yRG)

133 Mark Steyn on cowboy poets @ NRO: The Corner


Posted by: Miss'80sBaby at March 08, 2011 02:53 PM (UO6+e)

134 Triple J: How many jobs created by the First Amendment?

CRS: All of them, baby, all of them. (snicker)

Posted by: Guy Fawkes at March 08, 2011 02:55 PM (qqrPQ)

135 This man speaks the truth and we are all better for having been exposed to him or something.
Also I am now very encouraged and ispired to move forward with my political aspirations that will soon take me straight to the White House.
Piece out.

Posted by: Alvin Greene at March 08, 2011 02:56 PM (M7bLp)

136 It's kinda like the TV Commercial that told me that I needed to go out and buy a house, because not only is it good for my children, it creates JOBS!!!! See, it's my RIGHT to own a home, because the First Amendment creates JOBS!!!!

This irrational logic thing is kinda fun!!

Posted by: © Sponge at March 08, 2011 02:57 PM (UK9cE)

137 The Roman Empire had full employment if you counted the slaves...I'm just saying.

Posted by: Purple Avenger at March 08, 2011 02:58 PM (i8J8M)

138 I asked the Congressional Research Service the other day how many amendments can dance on the head of a pin.

"I gots me 25 doin' the hussle on my Bic Click right here!" he yelled while grabbing his crotch. Again, more laughing. It's why I spend so much time down there. At The Congressional Research Service, not his crotch.

Posted by: Dang at March 08, 2011 02:58 PM (TXKVh)

139 It can't bear repeating often enough: jobs are a cost, not a benefit of economic activity.

Posted by: David Gillies at March 08, 2011 02:58 PM (WqTVT)

140 TJ: How much water is in methane?
CRS: What? Really?

This summation of Jessie Jackson, Jr's conversation with an anonymous staffer at the Congressional Research Service was brought to you by Non Sequiturs, Unlimited, LLC, and by (cue stupid graphic) Viewers Like You.

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) at March 08, 2011 02:59 PM (8y9MW)

141 New diagram for 2011
Step 1: Pass new amendments to the Constitution
Step 2: Winning!
Step 3: Profit?

Posted by: William at March 08, 2011 02:59 PM (77TeU)

142 I've got it! This will fix everything!

From now on, everything is free- flat screens, iPods, laptops, gas, groceries... everything.

That will make ELEVENTY gazillion jobs!

The only catch is that the jobs pay nothing, since nothing costs anything and everything is free.

Can I haz senate seat now?

Posted by: Damiano at March 08, 2011 02:59 PM (3nrx7)

143 If you don't respond to this question with "WTF are you talking about? GTF outta here!!" you should be one of the unemployed.


Posted by: © Sponge at March 08, 2011 02:28 PM (UK9cE)


They probably did and Genius, Jr. was just crafty enough to leave that part out.BTW, I left a comment a few days back about a blood pressure scare. Turns out it was a panic attack...perhaps. Considering that I asked the Morons for Jesus to pray for me, it's probable that God cured me! Love you all.

Posted by: baldilocks at March 08, 2011 03:01 PM (T2/zQ)

144 I'm getting ready to pink slip that stupid fuck.

Posted by: The First Amendment at March 08, 2011 03:01 PM (TXKVh)

145 You know what the secret ingredient is Coca-Cola is? The First Amendment, baby.

Posted by: JJJ at March 08, 2011 03:03 PM (3H+6G)

146 ...magically by creating this stuff people don't want to buy...

If you're looking for bread and all the market has are 1940 Ford tractor pistons in stock, you'll take what you can get and like it comrade!


Posted by: Purple Avenger at March 08, 2011 03:03 PM (i8J8M)

147 how in the hell was the first amendment able to be written without the power of the first amendment?

Posted by: twig at March 08, 2011 03:05 PM (w9N0m)

148 BTW, I left a comment a few days
back about a blood pressure scare. Turns out it was a panic
attack...perhaps. Considering that I asked the Morons for Jesus to pray
for me, it's probable that God cured me! Love you all.


Posted by: baldilocks at March 08, 2011 03:01 PM (T2/zQ)


Well, calm down. Jesus is too busy monitoring the NFL labor talks to worry about your silly blood pressure. I mean, he's got to make sure that all the ones he riddled with 'talent' have good paying JOBS!!!! And Retirement!!!

See? Irrational logic is AWESOME!!!

Posted by: © Sponge at March 08, 2011 03:06 PM (UK9cE)

149 The first ammendment turned me into a newt.

Posted by: dananjcon at March 08, 2011 03:08 PM (pr+up)

150 I cannot tell you how many times I have been asked, by some idiot, to find the answer to some question which, with the meagerest of knowledge and thought, one would realize has no meaning at all. It's problematic to have an idiot for a boss.

Posted by: Optimizer at March 08, 2011 03:09 PM (2lTU+)

151 I asked the Congressional Research Service the other day, "Haters, what?"
And they wuz like, "Excuse me?"
"You know, all them haters out there. What's up with them?"
And they were like, "Um, Congressman, I think you may be in the wrong office. Were you looking for the men's room? Would you like a map? Everett, get Mr. Jackson a map."
"I mean, like, haters gotta hate, right? Why? Why the hate?"
"That's... a very profound question, sir. I'm sure someone with a background in philosophical research might be able to answer-"
"First amendment!"
"....excuse me?"
"Haters gotta hate. Why? First amendment. BOOM. Winning."

Posted by: MWR at March 08, 2011 03:10 PM (4df7R)

152 how in the hell was the first amendment able to be written without the power of the first amendment?
Ignoramus. Everyone knows the Founding Fathers were all volunteers.

Posted by: J-Cubed at March 08, 2011 03:10 PM (QKKT0)

153 On topic:

This sort of drivel stems from ignorance as to the definition of 'rights' and from Whom they are dispensed. As a product of LA inner-city public schools I didn't know. I had to do my own homework as an adult. Too many people stop thinking and learning after high school--if they ever start. Thanks for nothing, NEA.

Posted by: baldilocks at March 08, 2011 03:11 PM (T2/zQ)

154 Jx3 seems to be proposing we adopt Article 44 of the Soviet Constitution of 1977. No bad idea is ever truly gone.

Posted by: Beagle at March 08, 2011 03:11 PM (sOtz/)

155 Well, calm down. Jesus is too busy monitoring the
NFL labor talks to worry about your silly blood pressure. I mean, he's
got to make sure that all the ones he riddled with 'talent' have good
paying JOBS!!!! And Retirement!!!

See? Irrational logic is AWESOME!!!


Posted by: © Sponge at March 08, 2011 03:06 PM (UK9cE)


Heh. Why worship a Supreme Being who can't multitask?

Posted by: baldilocks at March 08, 2011 03:13 PM (T2/zQ)

156 Posted by: MWR at March 08, 2011 03:10 PM (4df7R)
Teh funny

Posted by: Cicero at March 08, 2011 03:14 PM (QKKT0)

157 Posted by: MWR at March 08, 2011 03:10 PM (4df7R)



Thread winner.

Posted by: baldilocks at March 08, 2011 03:14 PM (T2/zQ)

158 The first amendmenttook my underware...and I'm lovin it!

Posted by: dananjcon at March 08, 2011 03:15 PM (pr+up)

159 The constitution is not the "party room" where goodies are handed out, Junior. It's a list of things the government CANNOT do.

Ya twit.

Posted by: mojo at March 08, 2011 03:18 PM (dSpUp)

160 Heh. Why worship a Supreme Being who can't multitask?
Posted by: baldilocks at March 08, 2011 03:13 PM (T2/zQ)

To hell with multitasking. Where's my golf clubs. This power of the universe shit is fun.

Posted by: Barak the Hussein at March 08, 2011 03:18 PM (rOYaa)

161 I guess we should be happy that young Jesse has concluded the Citizens United was correctly decided, since all corporate activity, including lobbying, is first amendment activity. We know how highly young Jesse respects the first amendment - he told us so.

Posted by: Vladtheimp at March 08, 2011 03:20 PM (0NU39)

162 Seriously, without exaggeration, most Democrats would watch this video and nod.

Posted by: RJ at March 08, 2011 03:23 PM (qDPnZ)

163 I just took a shit can someone please clean me up.I'm so helpless and o yea clean up on isle 6 please.

Posted by: SOMEASSHOLESTOLEMYPEN at March 08, 2011 03:23 PM (VmAoa)

164 Well I have a small piece of First Amendment and I gotta tell you, it's pretty fucking awesome. It's been in our family for years. Makes all kinds of shit. Jobs (typically they're small, part-time jobs but still, that's pretty good), rights, bird houses, casseroles, just about anything. We keep it in the garage (We keep it out there because it crapped on the carpet once.) and almost every morning... BOOM! There's some new shit out there. Speech, porn, charcoal grills, all kinds of shit. Anyway, we have some First Amendment, and yeah, it's pretty cool.

Posted by: Dang at March 08, 2011 03:25 PM (TXKVh)

165 I honestly can't come up with a good insulting name for folks who think like this. 'Retard' won't work, comparing the mentally challenged to this lot is insulting to the mentally challenged...

Posted by: DarkLord, phoning it in at March 08, 2011 03:25 PM (GBXon)

166 Hang in there baldilocks. I used to get those. Scary as fuck. Thought I was having a heart attack. After months of cardiologist referrals, wearing heart monitors, etc. they narrowed it down to "stress."

I said, "I don't feel stressed."

"Well, what's your life like right now?"

"The usual - quit my job to start a business, got a couple of toddlers, wife's been on bedrest for six months, pregnant with twins-"

"And you don't think that's stressful?"

"Umm... I guess... Too busy to think about it, I suppose."

Don't sweat it. Your body stores up all those stress hormones like adrenaline and cortisol and picks really weird times to dump them in your bloodstream. I didn't catch your post but you'll certainly be in my prayers.

Posted by: Empire of Jeff at March 08, 2011 03:27 PM (1zgwP)

167 I might would pass on any prayers from E of J .
Dudes probably got a full up satanic temple goin' on .
Blood sacrifice , virgins , the whole nine yds .

Posted by: awkward davies at March 08, 2011 03:30 PM (YCW1b)

168 Shall I point out that Jesse Jackson, Jr. has a law degree from the University of Illinois?

Posted by: AmishDude at March 08, 2011 03:39 PM (T0NGe)

169 There is some funny shit in these comments. Jeff and Dang are killing me. Plus, Dr. Pepper is really hard to get off your keyboard. And out of your clothes.

Posted by: mikeyslaw at March 08, 2011 03:39 PM (QMGr1)

170 Here's the Amendment 28 that I saw:

Amendment 28

Congress
shall make no law that applies to the citizens of the United States
that does not apply equally to the Senators or Representatives, and
Congress shall make no law that applies to the Senators or
Representatives that does not apply equally to the citizens of the
United States .

Posted by: elspeth at March 08, 2011 04:02 PM (0AkWH)

171 There's a common thread going on today - the Social Security thread, Harry Reid's cowboy poetry festival, this idiocy -
Congress is the problem. Those 535 people we elected are fucking us, every year.
We need to start a "Re-Elect Nobody" movement. Voter-imposed term limits are the only solution. Kick the bastards out.

Posted by: Penultimatum at March 08, 2011 04:09 PM (dJ7er)

172 Junior is such a loser! This stuff doesn't even RHYME, for crying out loud!

1
Didn't daddy strong arm a beer distributorship for Jr.? That makes him eligible for government, how?


Posted by: © Sponge at March 08, 2011 02:14 PM

That was another son, Yusef, who was a football star at Virginia. A U.Va. degree automatically qualifies you to own a beer distributorship.

Posted by: Adjoran at March 08, 2011 04:10 PM (VfmLu)

173 Each day brings us closer to the time when the movie IDIOCRACY will be a documentary.

Posted by: Bilwick at March 08, 2011 04:35 PM (KZcFn)

174 Stupidity is arequirement for getting elected in Chicago

Posted by: TheQuietMan at March 08, 2011 04:37 PM (1Jaio)

175 NC Ref beat me to it at 13; we all lose a lot of sleep wasting time trying to explain to the fundamentalist Left the difference of "positive rights" vs our western traditional foundation of "negative rights."

Posted by: BuddyPC at March 08, 2011 04:41 PM (nSkOL)

176 JJJ's mind is a terrible thing to waste.

I want 24/7 pickets outside his office, maybe people sleeping inside, everyone white and kinda beefy and goonish, nasty temperaments, music playing to the tune of Dire Strait's Money for Nothing, crowd chanting from the left, "I want my I-pad too," crowd over on the right answering "I want my lap-top too." Maybe some hari krishnas, Some tie-dye clothes, maybe some sideburns.

It's a right, isn't it?

Film at eleven.

Posted by: Usin-my-SS-checks-to-buy-MMJ at March 08, 2011 04:44 PM (4sQwu)

177 He makes even ME look smart!!!...YAAAYYYYYYYYYYY!!!

Posted by: Corky the Retard at March 08, 2011 04:50 PM (zBwXx)

178 Does Jackson even know how Amendments to the Constitution are passed? He does know they have to be ratified by the states, doesn't he? Or is he proposing to change that as well?

Posted by: ThePaganTemple at March 08, 2011 04:52 PM (M9dt9)

179 I doubt if there are enough zeros in the universe toadequately computeThe Stupid Quotient for that little speech.
To his credit, though, he knows just as much about the Constitution as his dad does.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy at March 08, 2011 05:00 PM (b6qrg)

180 Voters in IL-2: are you proud to have this ignorant dunderhead representing you?

Yes? Then shame on you, for you, too, represent yourselves to the rest of the country as being ignorant dunderheads.

Posted by: ya2daup at March 08, 2011 05:03 PM (FcKXR)

181 Triple J should look at Cabrini Green to see what exactly happens to free government housing. Oh yeah, they just tore it down because it became unlivable hell-hole due to his constituents' inability to act like fucking human beings.

Posted by: Schwalbe : The © at March 08, 2011 05:29 PM (UU0OF)

182 ROFL!!!!! The Russian Czar Peter the Great forced everyone in his Duma to give speeches so he could see which ones were idiots. )) Looks like another one outed!

Posted by: Sam Adams at March 08, 2011 06:10 PM (wap20)

183 Free iPod/iPhone4....yes!
Free laptop...yes!
Free housing...yes!
Free food...yes!
Free HDTVs...yes!
Free cars...yes!
Free university education...yes!
Free healthcare...yes!

Free jobs?

Let's skip beyond the idiocy and the downright braindead moron that made the statements above and go right to the critical thinking section.

If the government were able to distribute 'free' ipods, ipads and iphones to all people in the US, Google and every other mp3 player manufacturer, tablet maker, and smart phone maker would be out of business within weeks. +30,000 Apple jobs, -8,000,000 other tech jobs.
If the government were able to give people vouchers for 'free' houses, once 180 million homes were built based upon the census for distribution/location, no more homes would be bought and real estate agents, ALL home manufacturers/contractors, appliance manufacturers, and many banks would go out of business. -40,000,000 jobs.

Property taxes go unpaid; cops, teachers, firemen, garbage collectors, street cleaners/builders/repair crew and government bureaucrats are all out of jobs. -12,000,000 jobs.

Utility bills go unpaid; so no one has air conditioning, gas, electricity, sewage or water. Death, disease, starvation and crime run rampant. Food, jewelry and clothing stores are openly attacked and raided of all usable goods and valuables. Stores are closed, delivery of goods comes to a complete halt, farmers no longer are able to ship their food stuffs so their products go to waste and never leave their locations. -24,000,000 jobs.

Basically, we enter immediate anarchy, and only those with firearms and the ability to defend themselves and their families are able to survive. The federal government is dissolved. People like Senators and Congressmen, primarily with no usable skills what-so-ever are relegated to serfdom or death. The dependence of the vast majority of Americans upon technology results in widespread panic and the dissolution of civil society.

Then, Fred Thompson Chuck Norris break into the National Archives, amend the US Constitution outlawing liberalism/socialism/statism, appends the 14th Amendment with a clause stating that the Commerce Clause only applies to perishable goods with measurable mass, transported between states via vehicle or human mobility, that the due process clause does NOT extend 'privacy' to include abortion and returns the powers not expressly granted to the federal government in the Constitution to be returned to states under penalty of treason, such that any Congressman or Executive attempting to usurp the powers of the states would be immediately impeached and brought before the judiciary on charges of treason. Lastly, Thompson and Norris scratch out the 16th 17th Amendments, and replaces them with amendments restricting the ability of the federal government to tax its citizens' income and instead places a maximum limit of 10% consumption tax, even in times of war. The new 17th restricts the federal government from ever operating with a deficit, bailing out any state or privately owned entity, nor spend any funds not originally accounted for budget except in times of war and then only to manufacturer goods for the use in the prosecution of that war.

Or, something like that.

Posted by: Geministar at March 08, 2011 06:13 PM (97IF5)

184 Sit down and shut the fuck up, boy; you're embarrassing me!

Posted by: Jesse Jackson at March 08, 2011 06:23 PM (HGMuM)

185 ...and don't forget about the right to subsidized travel vouchers to Hymietown.

Posted by: Jesse Jackson at March 08, 2011 06:25 PM (HGMuM)

186 Is it time yet?

Posted by: Patrick Henry at March 08, 2011 06:26 PM (HGMuM)

187 BTW, I left a comment a few days
back about a blood pressure scare. Turns out it was a panic
attack...perhaps. Considering that I asked the Morons for Jesus to pray
for me, it's probable that God cured me! Love you all.


Posted by: baldilocks at March 08, 2011 03:01 PM (T2/zQ)
Lucky girl!Do take care of yourself, and stress is the biggest factor anyway. So be a Honey Badger, and don't give a shit! Better than Ativan for reducing stress!

Posted by: Merovign, Bond Villain at March 08, 2011 06:40 PM (bxiXv)

188 People forget what must have happened right *before* JJJ's conversation with the CRS.

"Oh, shit! here comes Jackson again!"
"Oh, Hell, what is it now, is it the magnets thing again?"
"I don't know, you talk to him."
"Dude, no, it's your turn."
"It's not my turn! I got the one about Guam!"
"That was a dupe, man, that was easy. Shit! Whatever, whichever one he picks, just be polite and blow him off, say it's impossible or something! Make something up!"
"He's at the door, dammit..."

Posted by: Merovign, Bond Villain at March 08, 2011 06:54 PM (bxiXv)

189 How about a right to be a millionaire? A right to be sexy-beast attractive to the opposite sex? A right to 20 more points of IQ?

Where is King Canute when you need him?

Posted by: Ken at March 08, 2011 07:09 PM (3ar4L)

190 So assuming he was addressing Boehner, did Boehner start laughing out loud or light up a smoke and tell this dumbass to sit down and shut up?

Posted by: Snake Plissken at March 08, 2011 07:09 PM (4SDHr)

191 Oh, and I'd like better hit detection in Battlefield Bad Company 2. As a right, of course.

Posted by: Ken at March 08, 2011 07:11 PM (3ar4L)

192 Mr. President, I have the right to a bright red Ferrari! Not that wimpy, toned-down red, either. Candy Apple Red!

Posted by: Laura Castellano at March 08, 2011 09:16 PM (fuw6p)

193 Like father like son especialy for this bunch of crinimals and hoods

Posted by: Spurwing Plover at March 08, 2011 10:23 PM (vA9ld)

194 What is it about the Jackson name that makes you want to puke?

Posted by: Joseph at March 10, 2011 01:27 PM (OBsj+)






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