Berkeley City Council Decides It Hasn't Gotten Any Attention In A Year; Sets Out To Fix That

Message: Please pay attention to us. We're important.

The Berkeley City Council will consider a resolution that would declare the Army private suspected of leaking classified information to WikiLeaks a hero and call for his release.
...
Bob Meola, who authored the resolution, tells the San Francisco Chronicle that Manning is a patriot who deserves a medal.

Top Ten Rejected Berkeley City Council Attention-Whoring Initiatives

10. Proposed: All city council members to start wearing work-boots, ripped denim jackets, and feather-earrings, and to begin letting their grades slide

9. Proposed: We should all start dating black guys and make sure our daddys know it, like, we'll say things like, "Oh, sure I'll be home for Christmas, I'll bring figgy-pudding and my dusky-hued man-stallion"

8. Proposed: Sedition is The ROXXOR

7. Proposed: Bring Your Daughter To Your Bondage-Dungeon Day

6. Proposed: Look, we're only doing this because we want to be mentioned on O'Reilly's Talking Points, so let's just cut to the chase and drop an upper-decker in his toilet

5. Declared: Let's put The System on trial!!!, whatever that means

4. Proposed: Out: Casual Fridays; In: Transvestite Tuesdays

3. Declared: No religious tyrant or moral scold anywhere in America shall take away our right to dance

2. Proposed: Just to shake up The Sqauares, begin saying "sext" as a replacement verb for any normal use of "text" or "email," like, say "I'll sext you that budget PDF later" or "I'm sorry I didn't sext you back right away, I'm so behind on my sexts" or "I just sexted my mom Merry Christmas"

...and the Number One rejected attention-whoring proposal by the Berkeley City Council...

1. Proposed: Frame Judd Nelson for terrorism so we can then declare him a "Prisoner of Conscience"

Posted by: Ace at 01:12 PM

Comments

1

Si se puede UPPER DECKER!

Posted by: s'moron at December 09, 2010 01:14 PM (UaxA0)

2 In studying these depraved asshats, we can glean insight into arsenic-based lifeforms the imbecilic tendancies of all those left of center.

Posted by: ParisParamus at December 09, 2010 01:15 PM (bN5ZU)

3

oh, and top notch top 10 ace-o

lol

Posted by: s'moron at December 09, 2010 01:15 PM (UaxA0)

4 Proposed: Ed Begley Jr to be cast in a big budget movie that's good, like Avatar. With Ed Asner too.

Posted by: Rocks at December 09, 2010 01:15 PM (Q1lie)

5 5. Declared: Let's put The System on trial!!!, whatever that means

No way. I'm next on the docket.

Posted by: The Man at December 09, 2010 01:16 PM (BP6Z1)

6 WOW, stupid is as stupid does. I'm glad I moved away from there while there was still sanity as it seems to have gone by the wayside in the last ten or so years.

Posted by: Keith in Seattle at December 09, 2010 01:18 PM (9VSWS)

7 That entire portion of the Bay Area has been thoroughly taken over by the Communists now. I am damn glad I no longer live there.

What's more all the friends I had who lived in that area have moved out as well.

Posted by: Vic at December 09, 2010 01:19 PM (e4sSD)

8 Oh please, feather earrings are so...so.... cruel!

Posted by: คงEZBงค at December 09, 2010 01:20 PM (Ty06w)

9 Fuck, Judd Nelson is still alive?!?!?!
I had no idea.

Posted by: Sharkman at December 09, 2010 01:20 PM (sqNU7)

10 Transvestite Tuesdays
If they combine that with Camel Toe Tuesday...

Posted by: Mama AJ at December 09, 2010 01:20 PM (XdlcF)

11 ...my dusky-hued man-stallion"

Posted by: garrett at December 09, 2010 01:20 PM (I2dug)

12 If only they'd allowed recruiters the space a year ago. Think of how many Berkley area youths could be infiltrating the system now.

Posted by: 2549 at December 09, 2010 01:20 PM (kvxPn)

13 Bob Meola, who authored the resolution, tells the San Francisco Chronicle that Manning is a patriot who deserves a medal will be one of the first people to lose his head, literally, when our Islamofascist enemies finally bring us down with the help of traitors like Manning (yes, yes, please spare me the technical definition of a traitor; it just feels so good to say it!).
Fixed.

Posted by: Sharkman at December 09, 2010 01:21 PM (sqNU7)

14 How the fuck did we end up with so many assholes in this country?

Posted by: Berserker at December 09, 2010 01:22 PM (gWHrG)

15 He deserves a nine-gram medal.

Posted by: The Dread Pirate Neck Beard at December 09, 2010 01:22 PM (Wnhy1)

16 9 Fuck, Judd Nelson is still alive?!?!?!
I had no idea.
Me neither. I thought he died after the sheer embarrassment of starring in Return to Cabin by the Lake.

Posted by: Kratos (Ghost of Sparta) at December 09, 2010 01:23 PM (9hSKh)

17 14
How the fuck did we end up with so many assholes in this country?

When we started coddling people and shielding them from their own mistakes.

Posted by: Kratos (Ghost of Sparta) at December 09, 2010 01:24 PM (9hSKh)

18 Resolved: It being declared by this body to Rise up and Fight the Injustices perpetrated upon Citizen Manning by the fascist Military-Industrial Complex, a Giant Papier-Mache Head bearing the likeness of George W. Bush shall be constructed, to be stored alongside the Other Giant Papier-Mache Heads bearing the likeness of George W. Bush until such time their most effective use can be determined by our Council of Peace.

Posted by: Empire of Jeff at December 09, 2010 01:24 PM (+61wI)

19 Those guys think the Chicoms are traitors for going soft.

Posted by: Circa (Insert Year Here) at December 09, 2010 01:24 PM (B+qrE)

20
this post just came out of nowhere!

Posted by: lolsoothsayer has a yule log he wants you to see at December 09, 2010 01:25 PM (uFokq)

21 If only they'd allowed recruiters the space a year ago. Think of how
many Berkley area youths could be infiltrating the system now.
The seven or eight of them with enough muscle mass in their chests/arms to do a pushup.

Posted by: HeatherRadish at December 09, 2010 01:25 PM (4ucxv)

22
Challenging the norms of society...

Posted by: lolsoothsayer has a yule log he wants you to see at December 09, 2010 01:25 PM (uFokq)

23 Fuck, Judd Nelson is still alive?!?!?!

I had no idea.

Posted by: Sharkman at December 09, 2010 01:20 PM (sqNU7)

Hey, he was in Nude Jack's Titty. That's saying something.

Posted by: The Dread Pirate Neck Beard at December 09, 2010 01:25 PM (Wnhy1)

24 "Message: Please pay attention to us. We're important."

Wow, just like Kim Jong Il.

Posted by: Arms Merchant at December 09, 2010 01:26 PM (kPT11)

25 Let them all move to Russia

Posted by: nevergiveup at December 09, 2010 01:27 PM (0GFWk)

26 If ever there was a good place for the Air Force to 'lose' a munition during an overflight...

Posted by: AoSHQ's DarkLordฉ at December 09, 2010 01:27 PM (GBXon)

27 Socialism goes as far as sharing other people's money.
If you ask a Berkeley hippie to give up their ear cuff, or suede elbow patched jacket, or mocha latte, they wouldn't dare part with it!

Posted by: MJ at December 09, 2010 01:27 PM (BKOsZ)

28
Berkeley City Council -- Stormers in Search of a Bastille...and a Starbuck's.

Posted by: lolsoothsayer has a yule log he wants you to see at December 09, 2010 01:28 PM (uFokq)

29 We were planning to sue Ace for defamation over this post, and slap him with a non-binding city resolution. But then we heard he's into sex with wookies, and we're highly supportive of cross-species relationships.

Fight on good sir for your furry love!

Posted by: Berkley City Council at December 09, 2010 01:28 PM (pqXjD)

30 25
Let them all move to Russia

Nah, give them free transport to a regime more in line with their views - North Korea.

Posted by: Kratos (Ghost of Sparta) at December 09, 2010 01:28 PM (9hSKh)

31 Classic! Just had to de-lurk to say it.

Posted by: James OK at December 09, 2010 01:28 PM (q9wRA)

32

The seven or eight of them with enough muscle mass in their chests/arms to do a pushup.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, let's not get ahead of ourselves, here.

ONE pushup?

That's asking a lot of a vegan.

Let's start small. How about being able to stand for longer than 15 minutes at a stretch, shaving, and passing a drug test.

Posted by: s'moron at December 09, 2010 01:28 PM (UaxA0)

33 Each time I see a same-sex couple that isn't interracial, I think to myself, "What a waste...".

Posted by: Berkeley City Council Member at December 09, 2010 01:29 PM (rqvQ3)

34 You people have ruined me.
I'm looking at Vermont Country Store's web site and start giggling at "No plum pudding is complete without our brandy hard sauce".
Heh, heh, they said pudding. With plums in it. And HARD sauce.

Oy.

Posted by: Mama AJ at December 09, 2010 01:29 PM (XdlcF)

35 Well some Russian diplodouche thinksAssange should get the Nobel Peace Prize so I guess it's like really cool to declare theseguy's as some kind of hero or something.
These guy's aregoing to bethe Che Guevaras of this hipster commie generation.

Posted by: Roadking at December 09, 2010 01:29 PM (nYwbU)

36 Proposed: Wednesdays shall be dedicated to Anarchy. A commission shall be formed to hire a suitable staff to plan and promote Anarchy.

Posted by: Rocks at December 09, 2010 01:30 PM (Q1lie)

37 If we could just cross pollinate weed with a poisonous plant, we'd be all good.

Posted by: MJ at December 09, 2010 01:30 PM (BKOsZ)

38 “Academic City Councilpolitics are so vicious asinine precisely because the stakes are so small.”

Posted by: Dr. Varno at December 09, 2010 01:30 PM (QMtmy)

39 OK, if anyone is ever stupid enough to trust me with the Presidency, one of the first things that happens is:
Along string of 18 wheelers loaded with T-walls pulls up around Berkley. The whole place gets fenced off with 14 foot concrete barriers (Alaska barriers? Texas barriers? Whatever the fuck was around the DFAC on BIAP).
This gets done at the entire perimeter of the city limits, backed up with a couple battalions of troops. Full Customs checkpoints at the two entrances and exits. They will be officially thrown the fuck out of the United States of America once and for all. I am sick of their shit. Since the people who live there obviously vote for that shit, fuck them too. We sell the entire place, lock, stock, and barrel, to the highest bidding foreign country on eBay.
And if they end up a possession of the Communist Chinese? I don't give a shit. Let's see how they like that "workers of the world unite" shit when they have to live it.

Posted by: SGT Dan at December 09, 2010 01:30 PM (GgXZc)

40 If we could just cross pollinate weed with a poisonous plant, we'd be all good.

--------------------------Speak for yourself.

Posted by: garrett at December 09, 2010 01:31 PM (rqvQ3)

41 LOL.Aren't they adorable?

Posted by: Darcy at December 09, 2010 01:31 PM (+Z6FM)

42 Nah, give them free transport to a regime more in line with their views - North Korea.
Posted by: Kratos (Ghost of Sparta) at December 09, 2010 01:28 PM (9hSKh)

Yeah like North Korea would have them?

Posted by: nevergiveup at December 09, 2010 01:31 PM (0GFWk)

43 It's shit like this that make me wish for the big one to hit CA.

Posted by: nevergiveup at December 09, 2010 01:32 PM (0GFWk)

44 If we could just cross pollinate weed with a poisonous plant, we'd be all good. --------------------------Speak for yourself.
---------------------
Only in Berkeley. Duh.

Posted by: MJ at December 09, 2010 01:32 PM (BKOsZ)

45 If we could just cross pollinate weed with a poisonous plant, we'd be all good. --------------------------Speak for yourself.

Posted by: garrett at December 09, 2010 01:31 PM (rqvQ3)

Like, what . . . dude? I thought, like, MJ was speaking . . . whoa, wait, I GET IT! HAHA! Dude . . .

Posted by: The Dread Pirate Neck Beard at December 09, 2010 01:35 PM (Wnhy1)

46 Where do I write for my SGT Dan for POTUS bumper sticker?

Posted by: HeatherRadish at December 09, 2010 01:35 PM (4ucxv)

47 Hippies Hate Death Metal

Posted by: Eric Cartman at December 09, 2010 01:35 PM (rqvQ3)

48 I'm not technically savvy, so can only project what could happen to VISA etc. during wiki-hacker attacks. I'd imagine that personal credit card info would be heisted.

Fred Thompson joked that the nation could do without Palin's blog for a few days if attacked by Wikileak hackers before getting back up and running. But VISA being unavailable online he scoffed being an American sacred cow.

And just blew off an ultra-libertarian for must having been listening to Glenn Beck lately for the caller saying that Wikileak of national security locations/personnel is a "good thing".

btw @ bloomberg .com
Ron Paul, Author of `End the Fed,' to Lead Fed Oversight Panel

By Phil Mattingly

Posted by: maverick muse at December 09, 2010 01:36 PM (H+LJc)

49 SGT Dan at December 09, 2010 01:30 PM (GgXZc)
Meh, if your gonna go that far just push 'em out, doze it and make it a park - a really big beautiful park with a big monument in the middle to fallen soldiers.

Posted by: Roadking at December 09, 2010 01:36 PM (nYwbU)

50 14 How the fuck did we end up with so many assholes in this country?

Posted by: Berserker at December 09, 2010 01:22 PM (gWHrG)

By a combination of psychadelic drugs and Soviet "active measures" that are collectively known as "the 1960's"

Posted by: Nighthawk at December 09, 2010 01:37 PM (02uN6)

51 Imagine there's no Berkley.
It isn't hard to do.
Nothing to laugh and point at
And no commies too.

Posted by: WalrusRex at December 09, 2010 01:37 PM (xxgag)

52 Oh good, a bunch of aging hippie mushheads have found a way to still "FIGHT THE POWER!" while simultaneously being the power. I was worried there for a bit.

Posted by: Waterhouse at December 09, 2010 01:37 PM (+dsUz)

53 Imagine there's no Berkley.
It isn't hard to do.
Nothing to laugh and point at
And no commies too.
Posted by: WalrusRex at December 09, 2010 01:37 PM (xxgag)

OUTSTANDING

Posted by: nevergiveup at December 09, 2010 01:38 PM (0GFWk)

54 I really, really hope that these kinds of people have to see and experience pure evil in it's darkest forms before they leave this world. These people sow the seeds of their own destruction while patting themselves on the back for their enlightened progressive views. It would be nice to think that somewhere along the way, they would be brought to their knees with a "what have I done?" moment of realization.

Posted by: havedsah at December 09, 2010 01:38 PM (sFD5n)

55 They seek attention, so you give it to them?

Posted by: FlaviusJulius at December 09, 2010 01:38 PM (SJ6/3)

56 For the record, I don't think any university that restricts military recruiting will change their policies one bit if DADT were repealed.

It's just an excuse and I thank the good folks of Berkeley for showing us.

Posted by: AmishDude at December 09, 2010 01:39 PM (BvBKY)

57 Do you think Berkeley would have done this if Manning wasn't gay? Doubt it.

Posted by: gp at December 09, 2010 01:40 PM (B9rV2)

58 #42
Yeah like North Korea would have them?

The Norks are always looking for naive Westerners to prop up the regime. Failing that, the Norks will like getting a few months slave labor from some newbies.

Posted by: Kratos (Ghost of Sparta) at December 09, 2010 01:41 PM (9hSKh)

59 57 Do you think Berkeley would have done this if Manning wasn't gay? Doubt it.

Posted by: gp at December 09, 2010 01:40 PM (B9rV2)

I think they would have done it for anybody provided they were ideologically motivated. People motivated by money, like Bob Hansen or Rick Ames, not so much.

Posted by: Nighthawk at December 09, 2010 01:43 PM (02uN6)

60 I'm looking at Vermont Country Store's web site and start giggling at "No plum pudding is complete without our brandy hard sauce".
Get that or the waterless toilet, but not both.

Posted by: FireHorse at December 09, 2010 01:44 PM (sWynj)

61 If we wish to get rid of Berkeley, SF, Oakland, and the other Communist urban areas of the coast of CA it only takes ONE thing from a hard nosed Republican House in 2011.

ZERO budget for ANY city or State aid in ANY form. That is no money for urban transit, security, buying worthless paper, loans, or ANYTHING else.

Those cities will be bankrupt in less than a month, the State will be bankrupt in less than a year.

ALL it takes is BALLS

Posted by: Vic at December 09, 2010 01:44 PM (e4sSD)

62 The good thing about hippies and the other idiots in Berkeley is that they are effete little cowards unless they have overwhelming numbers. And they don't know how to fight or throw a punch.

I speak from the experience of going to school and living in that lunatic asylum.

Posted by: Annoying Pedant at December 09, 2010 01:44 PM (LH6ir)

63 Heather, I appreciate the thought. I should not be trusted with a nuclear arsenal.
I would be tempted to go full tilt Carthage on them. To quote the upcoming Countdown by Tom Kratman (advance e-copies now available on Baen's web site, plug because I contributed to the finished work):
"What did you threaten them with?"
"Robbery, rape, mayhem, murder, destruction, and demolition. Basically Carthage."
"Would you have done it?"
"I would have preferred not to, but being as I try to be a man of my word...."
But rather than "doin' the whole fuckin' village", better to isolate them and the disease they carry and make it someone else's problem. They don't want to be part of America, they don't get to be part of America. No problem. No more of this reap-the-benefits while stabbing-us-in-the-back shit.

Posted by: SGT Dan at December 09, 2010 01:49 PM (QUuUE)

64 Westboro Baptist Church will be at Elizabeth Edwards funeral. Why are these fucks still walking around? Seriously.

Posted by: jewells45 at December 09, 2010 01:49 PM (l/N7H)

65 They can all swing from the same gallows that he needs to be on. Bunch of filthy treason scumbags,

Posted by: TrickyDick at December 09, 2010 01:51 PM (bVka+)

66 Jewells45: if the Westboro Baptist Church crowd were holding a loud, sign-toting protest against the Berkeley City Council - which side would we have to root for? Or would that be one of those red-on-red situations, where we just sit back and enjoy the show?

I gotta confess - I went to Berkeley in the Seventies, and I'm pretty sure I was the only conservative in about a 75-mile radius. Never in my life have I felt more desperately needed.

Posted by: Keith Arnold at December 09, 2010 01:54 PM (Jdtsu)

67 Vic - I certainly would like to see a GOP House eliminate all federal aid to jurisdictions with 'sanctuary' ordinances.

Posted by: JEM at December 09, 2010 01:55 PM (o+SC1)

68 Vic - I certainly would like to see a GOP House eliminate all federal aid to jurisdictions with 'sanctuary' ordinances.

I want ALL federal aid eliminated to ALL cities.

Posted by: Vic at December 09, 2010 02:09 PM (e4sSD)

69 Would it be wrong to hope for the next successful terrorist action to happen in Berkeley?

Posted by: Blacque Jacques Shellacque at December 09, 2010 02:16 PM (jQy/O)

70 Yeah like North Korea would have them?You bet we take them! I sure boiled with rice, very nice, much better than cream of rock soup; Only bad thing, I hearthey take FOREVER to clean!

Posted by: Random Starving North Korean at December 09, 2010 02:16 PM (ERJIu)

71 Declared: Our dad should just respect who we are as a person instead of trying to make us into some kind of fascist preppie jock asshole that wears khakis and watches football with all of his fat asshole friends. *sob

Posted by: Berkeley City Council at December 09, 2010 02:41 PM (+lsX1)

72 Fly him to Sweden.
Arrange a date with a few "girls".
Supply him with a handful of broken rubbers.

The rest is easy.

Posted by: sTevo at December 09, 2010 02:45 PM (5Abei)

73 Another pitiful move by a bunch of pitiful anti-American losers

Posted by: TheQuietMan at December 09, 2010 02:46 PM (1Jaio)

74 Didn't there used to be a post above this one, or did somebody break the blog again?

Posted by: SGT Dan at December 09, 2010 03:49 PM (GgXZc)

75
...let's just cut to the chase and drop an upper-decker in his toilet.
Small modification here, you don't drop an upper decker in a toilet, you drop it onto a toilet tank. Excellent work though ace! Keep it up!

Posted by: bonhomme at December 09, 2010 04:46 PM (Gr6ja)

76 Am I the only sub-moron who has been greatly enjoying the wikileaks (at least the State Dept ones)? We need light to scatter the roaches once in a while.

Posted by: Rod Rescueman at December 09, 2010 05:44 PM (QxGmu)

77 57 Do you think Berkeley would have done this if Manning wasn't gay? Doubt it. Posted by: gp at December 09, 2010 01:40 PM (B9rV2)
I guarantee you the home-away-from-home for Queers For Palestine hates America far more than they love homosexuals.

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80 Think of how many Berkley area youths could be infiltrating the system now.
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