Stimulus Watch : $800K Spent On Teaching African Men To Wash Their Junk

Well, at least the money wasn't wasted

This is how your government spends money when we are teetering on the brink of disaster.

If most of the men in the study wash their genitals after sex, are willing to do so after the study ends, and report that their partners accept the regimen, the researchers will develop another study to see if the penile cleansing procedure actually works to prevent HIV infections.

Just from a female perspective; how about having them wash before sex, too? What could it hurt, right?

And it's not clear what 'their partners' acceptance' refers to. It could mean that these sexual partners are going to learn to follow the same cleansing procedure, in which case we can safely assume these are gay couplings.

Or is it presumed that these are women, who for some reason might not approve of their partner's hygiene regimen?

Either way, and, most importantly, why should the US taxpayer give a rat's ass?
It's not like we aren't already sending an ass-ton of aid to African nations. We are.

My God, people, let's get serious here. People are out of work, and businesses are dying all around us; just ship them some instructional diagrams and a couple cases of Zest and let's be done!

If you go to the article, don't miss out on how the researchers explained why they were justified to receive tax money for this unproductive busy-work. Right at the end, there.
You'll like it. It's good.

Thanks to Krukke1.

Posted by: LauraW. at 11:41 AM



Comments

1 so black guys normally walk around with a glazed stick donut all day?

gross

Posted by: alppuccino at September 14, 2010 11:43 AM (H3mOa)

2 Couldn't we just leave that up to Axe commercials?

Posted by: Truman North at September 14, 2010 11:43 AM (G5JPI)

3 Why did it take $800K to teach Zero how to wash his junk?

Posted by: dogfish at September 14, 2010 11:43 AM (Ncv/n)

4 Take it from a guy who spends A LOT of time washing his junk: AIDS prevention is a worthy goal, and perhaps something we should be spending money on, but not in Africa when the goal is to stimulate the American economy!

Posted by: Masturbatin' Pete at September 14, 2010 11:44 AM (TWwXV)

5 Dear Old Mom said to wash before for your partner and after for yourself. Them farm girls knew their stuff.

Posted by: trainer at September 14, 2010 11:44 AM (K5X44)

6 It's ONLY $800,000.

Posted by: MostlyRight at September 14, 2010 11:46 AM (9axha)

7 For all the good you get for all the money wasted in third world shitholes, you might just as well stuff it up a bull's ass.

Posted by: maddogg at September 14, 2010 11:46 AM (OlN4e)

8 We should have just shipped them a couple of pallets of "Dick Douche's Penile Cleansing Rags".

They are dishwasher safe.

Don't Believe me?

http://tinyurl.com/3afotm5 <-----Link.

Posted by: Ezekiel at September 14, 2010 11:46 AM (eoYse)

9 Clearly, these guys misunderstood the meaning behind the phrase "Stimulus".

Posted by: Mallamutt at September 14, 2010 11:46 AM (OWjjx)

10 Oops. Headline says "African men" not African American men.

So Ernie Els must have been very itchy during the U.S. Open.

Posted by: alppuccino at September 14, 2010 11:47 AM (H3mOa)

11 Keynes would be pleased.

Posted by: joeindc44 at September 14, 2010 11:48 AM (QxSug)

12 How large a grant did the anti-shrinkage study get?

Posted by: andycanuck at September 14, 2010 11:48 AM (3phFo)

13 9
We should have just shipped them a couple of pallets of "Dick Douche's Penile Cleansing Rags".



They are dishwasher safe.

You're gonna love my nuts.

Posted by: Shamwow.Guy at September 14, 2010 11:48 AM (gQLr2)

14 Now that is something i would volunteer fore.

Posted by: Bawney Fwank at September 14, 2010 11:48 AM (1PeEC)

15
800 grand to teach cock washing in Africa when the money should be spent teaching [young ladies] in America not to bump booties with men who are either unable or unwilling to support their children.



(edited by lauraw, guys, please)

Posted by: Fish at September 14, 2010 11:48 AM (v1gw3)

16 The implication here seems to be that African men aren't willing to wash their wangs. Isn't that a teeny bit, ummmm, racist or something?

Brain bleach required to banish images of "researchers" happily engaged in checking the cleanliness of all those untrimmed johnsons....

Posted by: MrScribbler at September 14, 2010 11:48 AM (Ulu3i)

17 AIDS is a serious health threat and people are still afraid of it. The Democrats might capitalize on this by running close-up videos of of the cleaning process as one of those Saturday morning educational shows. They might even show how this project could jump start the economy, creating jobs for teenage girls eager to lend a helping hand to their African brothers.

I do not have AIDS, but I will be too sick to vote this November.

Posted by: Average Joe at September 14, 2010 11:48 AM (bN5ZU)

18 I wonder if these are the same Africans archie bunker was referring to in the thread below.

Posted by: EC at September 14, 2010 11:49 AM (mAhn3)

19 Well, it's a small load. Just do it by hand.

Posted by: Fresh Air at September 14, 2010 11:49 AM (bIgjn)

20
Remember the movie ARTHUR when HOBSON said,

"Perhaps you'd like to come in there and wash your dick for you, little shit."

Posted by: piratewing plover at September 14, 2010 11:49 AM (uFokq)

21 Yeah, these people wasted our money; but, on the upside, they conducted some nasty ass research to get it.

Posted by: FreakyBoy at September 14, 2010 11:50 AM (uKraB)

22 How backward-ass do you have to be that you need to be taught to wash your goodies?

Yeah, yeah, I know -- "racist!!!"

Posted by: Groaty Dick at September 14, 2010 11:51 AM (gzjhZ)

23
Whomever decided to spend taxpayers money on this scam are wankers!

Posted by: Fish at September 14, 2010 11:51 AM (v1gw3)

24 I scrub my junk with Lava and Brillo pads as a precautionary regimen.

Posted by: Fritz at September 14, 2010 11:52 AM (GwPRU)

25 So, every culture has their own definition of a "flavor saver"?

Posted by: gator at September 14, 2010 11:52 AM (aOKEC)

26 Proper care can greatly improve the electoral experience. I speak as an authority on such things.

Posted by: Dimpled Chad at September 14, 2010 11:52 AM (R2fpr)

27
Old military axiom: "If you wash it more than three times you're playing with it."

Posted by: Fish at September 14, 2010 11:52 AM (v1gw3)

28 Scrub that scrim! and freshen up that Fahh.

Thanks to Dick Douche's Penile Cleansing Rag

Posted by: Ezekiel at September 14, 2010 11:52 AM (eoYse)

29 25 I scrub my junk with Lava and Brillo pads as a precautionary regimen.
Posted by: Fritz at September 14, 2010 11:52 AM (GwPRU)
Real men sand blast.

Posted by: maddogg at September 14, 2010 11:53 AM (OlN4e)

30 If she didn't wash me right.

I'd drop her.

Posted by: Ike Turner at September 14, 2010 11:53 AM (FnIuw)

31 New ad slogan:
Wash that, dickhead!

Posted by: gator at September 14, 2010 11:53 AM (aOKEC)

32
Did they consult with Dick Cheney's WarCock prior to making this expendature?

Posted by: Fish at September 14, 2010 11:54 AM (v1gw3)

33 So, your against men in Africa washing their junk. You know what that makes you, don't you.
That is right........RACIST!

Posted by: Al Sharpton at September 14, 2010 11:54 AM (OWjjx)

34 Hey, I'll wash the equipment if it'll get me $800,000. It might even induce the wife to...say, does that mean she...hmmmmmm.

Posted by: joncelli at September 14, 2010 11:54 AM (RD7QR)

35 This is for uncut Africans. I wonder why they'd need to check with their partners if it's okay to swab the deck after.
"No, Dear. I prefer a mess of dick cheese, really."

Posted by: spongeworthy at September 14, 2010 11:55 AM (rplL3)

36 -- 3: You realize most of that was the electron microscope to find it, right?

Posted by: DarkLordOfTheIntarWebs at September 14, 2010 11:55 AM (IkEhE)

37 I'm guessing their isn't a lot of oral sex in Africa? Of course, the dims taught us all that oral sex wasn't sex, so it's a non-starter.

Posted by: gator at September 14, 2010 11:56 AM (aOKEC)

38 This is just Obama trying to clean up a mess that was caused by bush.






(I can't believe you morons didn't beat me to that one!)

Posted by: nickless at September 14, 2010 11:56 AM (MMC8r)

39 I thought some of these same people taught us back in the 70's that washing after sex was a sign you thought sex was dirty, and thinking sex is dirty was wrong.

Posted by: wtp at September 14, 2010 11:56 AM (kC3nL)

40 36 "Anything more than two shakes of those wangs constitutes pleasure and we aint in that business."

speak for yourself!

Posted by: Barney F at September 14, 2010 11:56 AM (eoYse)

41 scrub my junk with Lava and Brillo pads as a precautionary regimen.
Posted by: Fritz at September 14, 2010 11:52 AM (GwPRU)
So does Mike Huckabee.

Posted by: Delta Smelt at September 14, 2010 11:56 AM (A0VTZ)

42 Only an irresponsible brain dead leftard with putrid maggot infested shit for brains would attempt to justify this bald faced waste of other people's hard earned money. They deserve a rope and a tree limb.

Posted by: maddogg at September 14, 2010 11:57 AM (OlN4e)

43 No, no, no, no, no. Just....no.

Posted by: laceyunderalls at September 14, 2010 11:57 AM (pLTLS)

44 AIDS is a serious health threat and people are still afraid of it. The Democrats might capitalize on this by running close-up videos of of the cleaning process as one of those Saturday morning educational shows. They might even show how this project could jump start the economy, creating jobs for teenage girls eager to lend a helping hand to their African brothers. I do not have AIDS, but I will be too sick to vote this November.

Average Joe, you crack me up!

Posted by: runningrn at September 14, 2010 11:57 AM (8GYOu)

45
Why do we call it junk? It's like still saying "chill" or "hizzouse."

Posted by: AoS Pirate...now with extra-absorbent wings at September 14, 2010 11:57 AM (uFokq)

46
"Today, United States Health and Human Services has released our latest public health publication, "The Care and Maintenance of the Human Penis", available at the US Printing Office for your perusal."

Secretary Kathleen Sebelius

Posted by: Fish at September 14, 2010 11:57 AM (v1gw3)

47 ...so I'm reading this as I go through returned mail in our office. After posting, I go back to my task, and see the next name in the stack:

"Willie Long".

You owe the Oracle a way to explain to my coworkers why I'm snickering like a 12-year-old.

Posted by: DarkLordOfTheIntarWebs at September 14, 2010 11:57 AM (IkEhE)

48 This is just Obama trying to clean up a mess that was caused by bush.

Nickless, that just might be teh thread winnah!

Posted by: runningrn at September 14, 2010 11:58 AM (8GYOu)

49 Cash for Spunkers?

Posted by: runningrn at September 14, 2010 11:58 AM (8GYOu)

50 I prefer the ball washer.

Posted by: Carl the Groundskeeper at September 14, 2010 11:58 AM (UEJ97)

51 I scrub my junk with Lava and Brillo pads as a precautionary regimen.
Bleeding lib...

Posted by: HH at September 14, 2010 11:59 AM (6oDXl)

52 Ah... come on... this goes well with the study of South American Gay men and their bar habits! Hand in ... hand... one might say...

Posted by: Romeo13 at September 14, 2010 11:59 AM (H+oXM)

53 available at the US Printing Office for your perusal

you mean arousal? If so, then yes I am.

Posted by: Barney F at September 14, 2010 11:59 AM (eoYse)

54 You know who this study doesn't help?

Posted by: The Chicken at September 14, 2010 11:59 AM (T4igz)

55 Project Number: 3U01MH066701-07S1
Principal Investigator: COATES, THOMAS J.

DESCRIPTION (provided by applicant): NOT-OD-09-058: NIH Announces
the Availability of recovery Act Funds for Competitive Revision
Applications



We propose to
evaluate the feasibility of a post-coital genital hygiene study among
men unwilling to be circumcised in Orange Farm, South Africa. Men in
high prevalence settings could potentially benefit from improved genital
hygiene if this intervention proved to be efficacious in reducing HIV
acquisition risk.



[P]articipants will be asked to practice immediately post-coitus or at
least 12 hours after. The feasibility of a prevention RCT with an
alternating intervention design on the effect of post coital penile
hygiene on HIV incidence among young males in South Africa will be
substantiated if the procedure is acceptable, is deemed convenient and
practicable by the target population, and if adherence is high. The
outcomes of interest are: 1. Proportion of volunteers able to be
trained to perform the penile cleansing procedure. 2. Proportion of
participants reporting adherence to early post coital penile cleansing.
3. Proportion of participants reporting adherence to delayed post
coital penile cleansing. 4. Proportion of participants favorable to the
practice of the post coital penile cleansing procedure. 5. Proportion
of participants reporting partner's acceptance of the practice. 6.
Proportion of participants' adherent to the post coital penile cleansing
during study follow-up as assessed by penile swabs analysis.





Your government at work -- analyzing penal swabs...

Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at September 14, 2010 11:59 AM (BaMir)

56 Between swatting the flies off my face, eating this white paste, and scamming Americans, who can find the time to dick wash?

Posted by: Uncut African at September 14, 2010 12:00 PM (aOKEC)

57 Well, I was going to make lunch. Ugh.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at September 14, 2010 12:00 PM (UOM48)

58 I prefer shaving. There is nothing like a good shaving.

Posted by: Dr. Evil at September 14, 2010 12:00 PM (OWjjx)

59 For exactly Zero dollars, I could tell them to drop the loin cloth and let the blow flies clean it up. Its ecologically responsible.

Posted by: maddogg at September 14, 2010 12:00 PM (OlN4e)

60 @ 51 Cash for Spunkers?

Okay, that made me laugh.

Posted by: Groaty Dick at September 14, 2010 12:00 PM (gzjhZ)

61 Prepuce scrubbers--a whole new industry of jobs saved and created by Barack Hussein Obama, Mmmm, Mmmm, Mmmm.

Posted by: runningrn at September 14, 2010 12:00 PM (8GYOu)

62 Average Joe,
I'm curious of what you think of Joe the Plumber?
Did he affect your vote in 2008?

Posted by: Delta Smelt at September 14, 2010 12:00 PM (A0VTZ)

63
Strong enough for a man to wash his junk, but I like it, too.

Posted by: That sassy Irish bitch at September 14, 2010 12:01 PM (Chg7a)

64 The gay birds of Africa will pick that penis clean!

Posted by: National Geographic at September 14, 2010 12:02 PM (aOKEC)

65
I don't wash my junk till I smell onion rings and Pepper Jack Cheese.

Posted by: That kid who mows your lawn at September 14, 2010 12:02 PM (Chg7a)

66 The money wasn't spent to get African men to wash their tackle. It was spent to put a half-dozen loyal Democrat voters into $100,000+ a year jobs.

Posted by: Rob Crawford at September 14, 2010 12:03 PM (0onAO)

67 Could they teach them not to dry their balls off on my face towel? That would be helpful.

Posted by: Joanie (Oven Gloves) at September 14, 2010 12:03 PM (HaYO4)

68
Big primary day here in MA.

One of the congressional seats, Delahunt's seat, is up for grabs.

State Sen Jeff Perry, the conservative, is endorsed by Mitt and Scott Brown.
Former state treasurer Joe Malone, less conservative, is endorsed by Rudy G.


Posted by: AoS Pirate...now with extra-absorbent wings at September 14, 2010 12:03 PM (uFokq)

69 Shit and all these years I've been washing for free?

Posted by: nevergiveup at September 14, 2010 12:03 PM (0GFWk)

70 Next project: The African drive to promote wiped asses.

Posted by: maddogg at September 14, 2010 12:04 PM (OlN4e)

71 All of this is part of the package stimulus.

Posted by: Dyslexic lib at September 14, 2010 12:05 PM (aOKEC)

72 @ 70
Could they teach them not to dry their balls off on my face towel? That would be helpful.

Well, it's either that or drip-dry all over your carpet.

Posted by: Groaty Dick at September 14, 2010 12:05 PM (gzjhZ)

73 Either way, and, most importantly, why should the US taxpayer give a rat's ass?

Don't you mean "wash a rat's ass?" It can be a stimulus.

I'm into the crazy.

Posted by: Barney Frank at September 14, 2010 12:05 PM (AZGON)

74 Paul Theroux, in his book Dark Star Safari (a very good, if sad, book about the African plight), writes of how many African men prefer "dry sex": i.e., they prefer their female partners to be unlubricated. This of course causes vaginal tears and penile abrasions, which facilitates the spread of HIV. African men also tend to view promiscuity as a male perogative -- they view potency with many women as a sign of male power. This of course translates into high rates of infection among populations. Combine this with the tribal honor/shame ethic (especially where AIDS is concerned), and you get a horrendous problem.
And it's probably a problem that only Africans can solve. They understandably resent being told by outsidersthat their sexual habits are killing them. Decades of unrest, lousy government, and total moral collapse have not helped things. NGO's have really exacerbated the problem in many ways by allowing Africans to defer the consequences of their own behavior.
It's really sad to think that Africans are mostly far worse off now than they were 50 or 60 years ago under colonial rule. Zimbabwe (Rhodesia as was) could stand as a symbol for the whole sub-Saharan region.

Posted by: Monty at September 14, 2010 12:05 PM (/0a60)

75 I personally find all of the jokes about this serious subject very offensive.

Posted by: Richard Washer at September 14, 2010 12:05 PM (T4igz)

76 .......
......
First of all... why the fuck would it even stop HIV? That's idiotic. "Oh, do you have a condom?" "No, it's OK, I'llsoak my nuts inantibacterial soap after I screw you"
Why not have them stand upside down on the toilet or something?
Second of all - Get them to do it, THEN look into whether or not it's even worth doing?!?
Third of all - No. I'm taking a nap.
You know.. No shit... THIS MORNING I got an email from a client that they are postponing a project.
They are postponing the project because business has gotten slow in an unprecedented way.
And they looked into it, and it turns out business has gotten slow in an unprecedented way because government (I don't know if it's local, state or fed) is subsidizing their competitors who are undercutting them severely on price (Like - "Free").
So now they've postponed their expansion, and are looking in to whether or not they canget in on the program.

Posted by: Entropy at September 14, 2010 12:06 PM (IsLT6)

77 Swab those dicks before you go down with the ship!

Posted by: admiral of the rear, andi sullivan at September 14, 2010 12:06 PM (3phFo)

78
Our economy may suck but at least we have the satisfaction of knowing there are thousands of squeaky clean dicks running around Africa.

What the fuck were all those Victorian colonists doing over there? Just teaching hand washing?

If you wash your dick really good, don't your hands get clean at the same time?

Posted by: Dang at September 14, 2010 12:06 PM (Chg7a)

79 who will wash Al Gore's junk and chakra?

Posted by: negentropy at September 14, 2010 12:06 PM (27KAF)

80 "Well, it's either that or drip-dry all over your carpet."
That is why God invented curtains.

Posted by: Joanie (Oven Gloves) at September 14, 2010 12:06 PM (HaYO4)

81
During the swine flu scare Harvard University put up signs everywhere, including the parking garages, with instructions on how to wash your hands.

And they put little "hand washing stations" everywhere, too.

Posted by: AoS Pirate...now with extra-absorbent wings at September 14, 2010 12:06 PM (uFokq)

82 I can't believe I made it through the post and all the comments without barfing.

Posted by: louis tully at September 14, 2010 12:07 PM (K/USr)

83 Does this mean that the $90 jillion spent on teaching them to use jimmy hats was wasted?

Posted by: Ted Kennedy's Gristle Encased Head at September 14, 2010 12:07 PM (+lsX1)

84
I'd wike to see da twaining video, pwease.

Posted by: Bawney Fwank at September 14, 2010 12:07 PM (Chg7a)

85 Posted by: Entropy at September 14, 2010 12:06 PM (IsLT6)

This is how corporate fascism works under Lord Wash-My-Dick, Historical President.

Posted by: George Orwell at September 14, 2010 12:08 PM (AZGON)

86 Dear? Would you hop down to the croc infested river and fetch me a bowl of ball wash? Be careful now, don't want to become a martyr to clean cock....

Posted by: African who wants clean junk at September 14, 2010 12:08 PM (OlN4e)

87 You folks don't actually think we sent 800K to Africa and it got used for teaching African men how to wash their junk do you?

I would say that African men know how to wash their junk much better than the "Afro-American" men in the urban areas do. And that folks is based on watching a side-by-side interaction between American blacks and African blacks in a pub in Mombassa, Kenya. (but not washing their junk)

What everyone knows about sending money and aid to Africa is that for every dollar sent 2 cents may get to the people who it is actually intended for, except for the case of that done by the churches.

In those cases the money goes to local missionaries who distribute the aid. When the government distributes aid it goes to what ever "leader for life" is currently in charge.

Posted by: Vic at September 14, 2010 12:08 PM (/jbAw)

88 When I saw this littlenugget on Drudge I clicked back here because I knew sure as hell it would be here and you morons would be going off the deep end with it................LOL

Posted by: Old Hippie Vet at September 14, 2010 12:09 PM (OefT/)

89 This brings a whole new meaning to the now official government phrase "Lives Touched."

Posted by: George Orwell at September 14, 2010 12:09 PM (AZGON)

90 If you want less of it, tax it.
I call for a tax on dick cheese.

Posted by: gator at September 14, 2010 12:09 PM (aOKEC)

91 Big primary day here in MA.
If you're in MA, and you're pulling a Republican ballot, please write in
JIM MCKENNA
for
ATTORNEY GENERAL
Coakley has no GOP opponent this year. We're trying to get McKenna on the ballot late since he didn't get all the signatures he needs.
I know nothing about McKenna, cept he ain't Coakley.
If you're in District 3, please vote for MARTY LAMB on account of his immigration and tax stands-- and the fact he's not the favored son of the GOP.

Posted by: Truman North at September 14, 2010 12:09 PM (G5JPI)

92 And no, washing your junk after sex will not prevent getting a good "case" of what ever.

Anyone with half a brain knows that.

Posted by: Vic at September 14, 2010 12:10 PM (/jbAw)

93 Avast, ye swabbies! Let's get blown ashore!

Posted by: admiral of the rear, andi sullivan at September 14, 2010 12:10 PM (3phFo)

94 And no, washing your junk after sex will not prevent getting a good "case" of what ever.

Anyone with half a brain knows that.

Well, I guess that leaves out 52% of America.

Posted by: George Orwell at September 14, 2010 12:11 PM (AZGON)

95 -- 91: Just the kind of penetrating insight you expect from us, no doubt...

Posted by: DarkLordOfTheIntarWebs at September 14, 2010 12:12 PM (IkEhE)

96 runs in
tackles LauraW
gives her the "Stimulus Watch"
backs slowly out of the room before it all gets 'out of hand"

Posted by: crotch grabbin moron at September 14, 2010 12:12 PM (cB+ae)

97 Dear? Would you hop down to the croc infested river and fetch me a bowl of ball wash?
Whoa! Trying to take food out of my baby's mouth???
And now we infest...like we're the infection?! Those bastards bathe in our river with their cheezy dicks! That's where I live, dammit!

Posted by: African croc at September 14, 2010 12:13 PM (aOKEC)

98 The next program to rear it's ugly head is the 4.2 million case study of the "shart"

The allusive "shart" is a devastating phenomenon that attacks with no precursor or symptom and can ruin a good pair of draws in no time flat.

Posted by: Ezekiel at September 14, 2010 12:14 PM (eoYse)

99 From Recovery.gov:

Award: 3U01MH066701-07S1
Amount: $823,200
Jobs Created: 5.25

Description of Jobs Created: UCLA is a world-class educational institution in the midst of an unprecedented financial crisis that threatens our mission to provide education, research and public service benefiting millions of people. ARRA funding to the University has enabled the creation and retention of jobs to support vital scientific research and training activities that would otherwise be severely constrained or eliminated through budget cuts. The type(s) of jobs created and retained by this ARRA-fund award includes: Faculty and Investigator positions.; Scientific/Technical Professionals and Staff positions, such as Researchers, Post-Docs, Graduate Student Researchers, Project Managers and Statisticians.; Non-Scientific Support Staff positions, such as Analysts, Assistants, and Clerks, if budgeted and approved.


Also, I wonder what exactly that 0.25 of a job was.

Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at September 14, 2010 12:14 PM (BaMir)

100 Millions of knobs, created or saved.....

Posted by: B. Clinger, Hinterlands, USA at September 14, 2010 12:14 PM (Qp0rl)

101 Tangentially related... in a dark, morbid way - from the sidebar headlines:
It's interesting to me that Barry and Hugo have so much more in common than I had ever realized.
http://tinyurl.com/2d33h62
Yeah, I know. Had trouble connecting the dots too.

Posted by: Hussein the Plumber at September 14, 2010 12:15 PM (RkRxq)

102
Bill Clinton should the class. He used to wash his dick in the sink off the oval office after getting blown by an intern, didn't he?

"1 Mississippi, 2 Mississippi, 3 Mississippi... "

Posted by: Dang at September 14, 2010 12:15 PM (Chg7a)

103 13 How large a grant did the anti-shrinkage study get?
Posted by: andycanuck at September 14, 2010 11:48 AM (3phFo)
You should see what they gave to TBA

Posted by: GOB Bluth at September 14, 2010 12:16 PM (zQKSr)

104 Dear? Would you hop down to the croc infested river and fetch me a bowl of ball wash?
Good point! Washing your balls in africa probably contributes to the spread of HIV.
Either that or like amoebial infection or something. God damn protozoa and blowfish that swim up your peehole and shit. Plus your washing your junk in the same river that dude is washing his junk, which is the same river that wilderbeat is washing it's junk in.
This is why pre-industrial people drank ridiculous amounts of booze and bathed infrequently.
Bad water will kill your ass.

Posted by: Entropy at September 14, 2010 12:16 PM (IsLT6)

105 The money wasn't spent to get African men to wash their tackle. It was
spent to put a half-dozen loyal Democrat voters into $100,000+ a year
jobs.

The sad part is those researchers would vote Dem even without the cash 'cuz Republicans are "anti-science" cousin-humpin' mouth-breathin' stoopid-heads.

Posted by: HeatherRadish at September 14, 2010 12:16 PM (Vz9lf)

106 The experimental design consists of asking about a personal hygiene practice (very low confidence response) related to sexual behavior (another very low confidence response) and verifying that via a sample collected (in a medical setting, I hope) some significant number of hours later. Some data (again very low confidence) on whether or not participants liked it is thrown in the fluff (sorry) up the page count. Regardless of the value of the work to the American people; how did this "study" get past a basic review committee - it is unlikely to produce anything of value beyond some frequent flyer miles for the researchers.

Posted by: Jean at September 14, 2010 12:16 PM (GK9T6)

107 I once spent a month in Malawi, Africa on a self funded mission trip. On the South African Airlines flight over, I met several university professors and researchers on their way to an HIV/Aids conference. They were all booked at the fanciest hotel in Lilongwe...the only 4 star hotel really...and were not self-funded. They were all from different universities, but all knew each other from being in the same field, reading each others "research"...it was like a bunch of old friends re-uniting for a trip in Vegas, except with a lot more pretentious b.s.
I'll never forget the conversation between two HIV researchers in the row in front of me. One of the goals of the past conference was to "train" African nurses and doctors to use disposable latex gloves. Much of that years funding had gone to provide gloves. In the year since, it had apparently become obvious that the idea of disposing of perfectly good latex was unacceptable to these people, and they of course used them over and over again no matter how much training our intellectuals gave them. The latex gloves also began being used more often as bladders to carry water than for medical use.
On the other hand, while in Malawi, I learned of the ancient customs and traditions in Malawi regarding sexual superstitions that often led to disease. For example, when a woman becomes widowed, a relative or other men in the village must sleep with the widow. There were literally men whose job it was to go around sleeping with (raping, really) women for all sorts of superstitious reasons. While in a rural church, during what was called "visioning time", men from the village spoke up about their various "visions". Nearly every "vision" was in fact a sexual fantasy of the man, such as "I had a dream last night that "x" and "y" women from the village laid down with me together", and the pastor would then explain how this "vision" was from God and must occur.
In other words, there were far more large and basic cultural and moral issues to deal with. But the judgement of morality wasapparently not politically correctto these wise, grant-funded elites, so they focus on latex gloves and washing junk. And enjoyed the nice pool, restaurant and casino at the 4 star hotel on public and grant monies to do it.

Posted by: MostlyRight at September 14, 2010 12:16 PM (9axha)

108 Well, the Democrats succeeded in getting about half of America to wash its brains, so lavatory colonialism was the next step in Africa.

Posted by: George Orwell at September 14, 2010 12:17 PM (AZGON)

109 102 Also, I wonder what exactly that 0.25 of a job was.

Hey, even I can't golf all the time...

Posted by: Barry the O, golf superstar at September 14, 2010 12:17 PM (IkEhE)

110 I can think of one African penis that has caused us no end of trouble, so maybe in the long run this is a good thing.

Posted by: nickless at September 14, 2010 12:17 PM (MMC8r)

111 Junk wuhdoo? There ain't no junk wuhdoo! Right hand, left hand, mouth, nose, face, elbows, ankles, right foot, left foot period.

Damn white man's religion!!

Posted by: Loowee Indacann at September 14, 2010 12:17 PM (qYn+v)

112 "It was a very touchin' moment...now I don't got to worry about putin' gas in my car or payin' my mo-gudge.... or washin' my dick.

If I hep him, he gonna hep me...

Posted by: Peggy Joseph's Baby Daddy at September 14, 2010 12:18 PM (Qp0rl)

113 I'm tired of all this motherfuckin' cheeze in these motherfucking cocks!
Wash your motherfuckin' hands better....I washed mine, and my hands didn't look like a brick of bleu cheese when I finished!

Posted by: Samuel L. Jackson at September 14, 2010 12:18 PM (aOKEC)

114 OK, OK, I'll wash.....but first, you will blow me.

Posted by: Mel in Africa at September 14, 2010 12:18 PM (dOOBu)

115
There's probably another $800,000 government grant to teach "Dick Drying" after washing.

Posted by: Dang at September 14, 2010 12:19 PM (Chg7a)

116 Of the myriad ways to exit life prematurely in Africa, I don't ever recall seeing dirty dick on the exhaustive list.

Posted by: maddogg at September 14, 2010 12:19 PM (OlN4e)

117
I prefer Irish Spring.

Posted by: Moi at September 14, 2010 12:19 PM (Ez4Ql)

118 Paul Theroux, in his book Dark Star Safari (a very good, if sad, book about the African plight), writes of how many African men prefer "dry sex": i.e., they prefer their female partners to be unlubricated. This of course causes vaginal tears and penile abrasions, which facilitates the spread of HIV. African men also tend to view promiscuity as a male perogative -- they view potency with many women as a sign of male power. This of course translates into high rates of infection among populations. Combine this with the tribal honor/shame ethic (especially where AIDS is concerned), and you get a horrendous problem.
And it's probably a problem that only Africans can solve. They understandably resent being told by outsidersthat their sexual habits are killing them. Decades of unrest, lousy government, and total moral collapse have not helped things. NGO's have really exacerbated the problem in many ways by allowing Africans to defer the consequences of their own behavior.
It's really sad to think that Africans are mostly far worse off now than they were 50 or 60 years ago under colonial rule. Zimbabwe (Rhodesia as was) could stand as a symbol for the whole sub-Saharan region.
I was about to post the same thing-- that women use products like alum, even potash which only results in more damage. Sex in Africa is about as bad as bad sex can get any where on the planet. Ifyou're female, your body is pretty much wrecked by the time you're30between being a pack animal, brood mare and the resultant fistulas. AIDS isjust another end result. So the 'washing' issue is a minor drop in a big bucket of misery.

Posted by: EZB at September 14, 2010 12:23 PM (Ty06w)

119 I can't wait for Fox Friends to get...*snicker*...Peter Johnson Jr's...*snicker* opinion on this.

Posted by: reason at September 14, 2010 12:24 PM (L51+P)

120 I so want a Taiwanese news animation of this story.

Posted by: George Orwell at September 14, 2010 12:25 PM (AZGON)

121 Smegheads.

Posted by: HeatherRadish at September 14, 2010 12:25 PM (Vz9lf)

122
One of my favorite films is Zulu. Besides the fact that it is historically fairly accurate, they have this long dance sequence in the beginning. Hundreds of teenage girls who couldn't be older than 16, are doing this dance with little spears and miniature shields, just shaking their booty. Plus, they were naked.

Posted by: Moi at September 14, 2010 12:26 PM (Ez4Ql)

123 "I'm curious of what you think of Joe the Plumber?
Did he affect your vote in 2008? "

Delta Smelt, he did indeed. I was all set to vote for Palin/McCain, when all of a sudden a whiff of impropriety emerged from Mr. Plumber. The had to investigate his divorce records, his tax records and as I recall there might have been some results to those efforts. As he ultimately endorsed the Republicans, I realized it would be decidedly unconservative to vote a party that embraced such a controversial individual.

So my vote was affected to the extent I did not cast one.

Posted by: Average Joe at September 14, 2010 12:31 PM (bN5ZU)

124 Clearly the "partner's acceptance" refers to their (grudging) acceptance of the loss of cuddle time due to the man thoroughly scrubbing his wedding tackle.

I would have thought that LauraW, as an alleged female, would understand this. Perhaps she does not like to cuddle due to hump-induced self consciousness?

Posted by: Holdfast at September 14, 2010 12:31 PM (Gzb30)

125 I'm listening to the talking heads say things are great at Best Buy. One of my freinds told me that basicaly fewer people came into their stores and the ones who did come in spent more money. My friend summed it up like this "so the rich went in and bought the big screen tv and all the bells and whistles but the middle class didn't even bother to go in, this is exactly what BO wants but he is getting ready to kill that "golden goose" by upping their taxes" (this came from a lib/dem WS guy)

Posted by: curious at September 14, 2010 12:32 PM (p302b)

126 I can't get the image of Matthew Lesko pitching this on a late night commercial about free government money.

Posted by: Rickshaw Jack at September 14, 2010 12:33 PM (ZtD0z)

127 One of my favorite films is Zulu. Besides the fact that it is historically fairly accurate, they have this long dance sequence in the beginning. Hundreds of teenage girls who couldn't be older than 16, are doing this dance with little spears and miniature shields, just shaking their booty. Plus, they were naked.
Posted by: Moi

When we refer to this site being the go-to place for military pron, that isn't what was envisioned.

Posted by: Blue Hen at September 14, 2010 12:34 PM (R2fpr)

128 Also:

Amount: $823,200
Jobs Created: 5.25
$ 156,800 per job.

If it pays that well, I might just swab a few dusky hooded cobras my own damn self.

Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at September 14, 2010 12:38 PM (BaMir)

129 More good news.

Posted by: maddogg at September 14, 2010 12:39 PM (OlN4e)

130 Wash my junk? The Gods must be crazy!

Posted by: Count de Monet at September 14, 2010 12:39 PM (2g2ex)

131 For whatever it is worth, disease is no doubt rampant in Africa.
But I have heard a lot of people claim that AIDS is no where near as prevalent as it is claimed to be, and their misdiagnosing left and right with these supposed statistics (which, I've seen sometimes claim that 1/4 of the entire population of Africa has AIDS).
Which seems to me to be very sensible and plausible.
Because they're not ALL DEAD.
Which, being as disease ridden as they are in general, I would think they ALL would be by now if a 1/4 of them had the AIDS10 years ago.
Like... ALL of them.
If you've got AIDS, all your kids have AIDS. There's no way out of that one. And in Africa AIDS probably means quite dead rather abruptly. It strikes me that if AIDS was as rampant as claimed, the place would have long sincebeen a ghost town by now.

Posted by: Entropy at September 14, 2010 12:41 PM (IsLT6)

132 Pics or it didn't happen.

Posted by: Andrew Sullivan at September 14, 2010 12:41 PM (2jQGY)

133 "Takeshi Uno, a spokesman at Kansai airport, said a
passenger using a private jet was stopped at the end of July for
carrying shuriken, the Japanese word for Ninja throwing stars.
The passenger, whom Uno declined to identify because of the
airports privacy policy, threw away the blades, he said. The
airport doesnt have separate boarding arrangements for private-
jet users, Uno said."

link

what are these things he was trying to bring home? And, today all over CNBC they've been criticizing him for having "so much cash" and not giving a dividend like cisco. (they announced a dividend today)

Posted by: curious at September 14, 2010 12:41 PM (p302b)

134 Posted by: Average Joe at September 14, 2010 12:31 PM (bN5ZU)

It scares me that you have so perfectly assimilated the "independent" voters' mind.

Posted by: George Orwell at September 14, 2010 12:43 PM (AZGON)

135 If they had spent the money circumcising the men, the rate of HIV infect would be reduced over 50%.

http://tinyurl.com/2jvxkt

Posted by: Kemp at September 14, 2010 12:45 PM (vSiVD)

136 So is this why jobs dresses all in black?

Circumcision is good for females also, as it apparently protects them from some nasty viruses.

Posted by: curious at September 14, 2010 12:46 PM (p302b)

137 In the documentary movie Coming To America, we learned that African royalty has already addressed this issue:
"The royal penis is clean, your Highness."

Posted by: Count de Monet at September 14, 2010 12:47 PM (2g2ex)

138
95
And no, washing your junk after sex will not prevent getting a good
"case" of what ever. Anyone with half a brain knows that.

Yeah, WTF??? How exactly does post coital washing up prevent acquiring HIV??????

Perhaps money would be better spent slinging condoms around??? Or education, which is what seems to be lacking at home AND abroad.

Or aboard a broad.

Posted by: Sphynx at September 14, 2010 12:47 PM (xilNI)

139 There are bigger problems in Africa ... One is the Liberal imposed ban on DDT which allows malaria to kill about 1.5 million African childern most under the age of 5. A travesty if there ever was one, the misery of malaria is it.

Aides could easily be fixed, just stop screwing every swamp lizard that comes by. Washing, anybody seen how little water is available because of the Liberal imposed ban on coal fired electricity.

Burning forests to make charcoal is one of the biggest businesses in Africa. And the best place to do that appears to be game reserves. Not to say anything about the hoax of global warming, but burning trees to make charcoal is one at the top of the list,

Africa has even got past the basics of existence.

Posted by: tarpon at September 14, 2010 12:48 PM (g0QB8)

140 "When we refer to this site being the go-to place for military pron, that isn't what was envisioned."

I'm sure if our warriors stripped buck naked and did a little dance, the lady morons would immediately surrender.

Posted by: Moi at September 14, 2010 12:49 PM (Ez4Ql)

141 what are these things he was trying to bring home?
Shuriken.
You don't know what a throwing star is?
http://tinyurl.com/3ytzvl7
Basically spikey little japanese throwing daggers.
You chuck them at people and thenthey bleed.

Posted by: Entropy at September 14, 2010 12:49 PM (IsLT6)

142 Pfft... why are they teaching the men to wash their junk after sex? Everyone knows that post-bang junk washing is women's work.
What next? They going to try and "teach" the men that they're supposed to make their own breakfast the next morning?

Posted by: Hollowpoint at September 14, 2010 12:49 PM (plsiE)

143 "It scares me that you have so perfectly assimilated the "independent" voters' mind."

George, I am not an "independent." I am a rock-ribbed conservative who is faithful to our First Principles. However, the Puritan pragmatist within me sees that our party is helpless this fall against the onslaught of a glamorous First Lady, an athletic and vigorous Commander-in-Chief, and the administration's artful handling of Mr. Rauf's bipartisan cultural center.

This November, I shall just step out of the way.

Posted by: Average Joe at September 14, 2010 12:58 PM (bN5ZU)

144 "You chuck them at people and thenthey bleed."
Ahh...wait...no...you lost me...

Posted by: Barack Obama at September 14, 2010 12:59 PM (5npD/)

145 What next? They going to try and "teach" the men that they're supposed to make their own breakfast the next morning post-coital sammiches?
FIFYM

Posted by: Count de Monet at September 14, 2010 01:01 PM (2g2ex)

146 For the really, really unfortunatelyunemployed...I see a future jobs bill here.

Posted by: BioPunk at September 14, 2010 01:11 PM (xJDlm)

147
If the waste and bottomless deficit spending were not destructive enough, Obama is simultaneously demonizing and keeping ever-more-invasive tabs on his opponents. His Department of Homeland Security has named opponents of abortion, gay marriage, and massive government as public enemy number one. Obama has hauled the state of Arizona before the United Nations over its immigration law. The Ninth Circuit Court of Appeals has ruled the government needs no warrant to attach a GPS device to the vehicle of someone it deems a threat. And vans equipped with full-body scan x-ray technology now travel along U.S. streets, seeking threats. In this context, media (Moron) monitoring could be more threatening.

Posted by: sickinmass at September 14, 2010 01:26 PM (1rflU)

148 Search on "dry sex africa" and see what you come up with. Apparently, the men like the friction in a dry vagina and the women, not having a whole lot of options, permit this. Needless to say, because of vaginal abrasions, it increases the rate of HIV transmission. I don't think persuading the men to bathe is going to solve this problem. Given the number of mistaken beliefs and cultural opinionsinvolved in this practice, I don't see it changing any time soon.
All the ladies repeat after me: "Aaaaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeee." Also, "Ouch."
Sample articles: http://tinyurl.com/2c22qbn
http://tinyurl.com/2drjlz
http://tinyurl.com/2769xk2

Posted by: Tonestaple at September 14, 2010 01:29 PM (1g7fB)

149 how to better encourage Africans to undergo voluntary HIV testing and counseling

Sure, millions for encouragement. Why not?

Posted by: PJ at September 14, 2010 01:36 PM (Fyjeu)

150 "Junk" bonds, that's my solution. I'd also like to introduce your Fannie to my Freddie... Mac style, that is.

Yo, an' shit.

Posted by: Barney's Frank at September 14, 2010 01:37 PM (Qp0rl)

151 This is a job that Andrew Sullivan would have performed at no expense to the taxpayer.

Posted by: The Drizzle at September 14, 2010 02:54 PM (ysCLj)

152 They're trying to limit the spread of AIDS to the UN blue helmets don't catch it when they're raping African children.

Silly.

Posted by: sum(random) at September 14, 2010 03:44 PM (TwWjd)

153 It would have cost more for the pre-sex genital wash.

Posted by: Voice of Experience at September 14, 2010 03:57 PM (Pir3k)

154 Bush gave Africa money to fight malaria and AIDS. Obama gave money for African men to wash their balls. Change you can believe!

Posted by: apodoca at September 14, 2010 05:32 PM (JCHdz)

155 yep

Posted by: Vic at September 14, 2010 07:44 PM (/jbAw)

156 What the report doesn't mention is that 400k of this money was spent on Wilt Chamberlain alone.

Posted by: Lee at September 14, 2010 09:16 PM (saVwg)

157 I would gladly pay for vasectomy's or condomsif they would use them.Does that mean they don't wash those things now? Who checks to see if it is done properly every time?The Dems are right, there are jobs Americans won't do. No amt. of $$$ could make me apply for that little labor of love.

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