Will Folks: I Shan't Ever Speak Of This Unfortunate Circumstance Again, But, FYI, I'd Like a Book Deal

Good God All Mighty.

When I started this blog I had it in mind that a schtick I could do would be a little shameless self-promotion, a winking kind, a knowing kind, like "I'm not so stupid as to fail to realize that this is shameless; I hope you will take it as comical."

I did not realize what "shameless" actually was.

A Book Deal?

By fitsnews • on June 2, 2010Comment Email Print ShareThis

By FITSNews || Even before last week’s startling admission of an “inappropriate physical relationship” with S.C. Rep. Nikki Haley, our founding editor’s nine years in the Palmetto political scene has been nothing if not uneventful.

A former rock-n-roll bass player, Will Folks was hired in 2001 by then-former Congressman Mark Sanford to handle his messaging during the 2002 gubernatorial campaign. After helping guide Sanford to an unlikely victory, Folks spent a tumultuous two-and-a-half years in the Governor’s Office as Sanford’s “pit bull,” an antagonistic spokesman whose antics routinely enraged lawmakers while providing fodder for the State House press corps.

Anyway, after leaving Sanford’s office under a cloud of controversy in 2005, Folks has built FITSNews into a new media institution – a news and opinion website that was receiving nearly 50,000 hits a day at the time he dropped his Haley bombshell.

Needless to say, Folks has always had a “hyper-inflated” sense of his own self worth, as well as a remarkable ability to survive scandals and ignore what he calls “the haters.”

Now, with the Haley saga adding another chapter to what was already a juicy personal and political narrative, there has been conisderable speculation as to whether Folks will publish a book – something he wanted to do in 2006 prior to launching FITS.

Even one of Haley’s top donors has recommended that Folks reserve some of the more salacious details of his tryst with the front-running gubernatorial candidate for future publication, suggesting the move would be a “golden, golden, golden opportunity.”

Hmmmm …

The penultimate paragraph there suggests that he's only floating this possibility because, supposedly, a Haley supporter told him to not reveal everything so he could cash in later, but earlier paragraphs indicate he was thinking about this already. (And I doubt his claim about the "supporter" to boot.)

He's really annoying me with this third-person crap -- "our founding editor" -- and partly because I used to do that schtick.

I originally had a different schtick for the blog. I never said "I think" in the beginning; it was "We think." Because I was claiming that this wasn't a one-man operation, but rather a lavishly funded 644-man operation consisting chiefly of Gulf War special forces veterans and ex-CIA operatives, being run out of the luxurious Ace of Spades HQ corporate offices on the secret 103rd floor of the Empire State Building, all under the control of a secretive and mysterious rightwing benefactor we only knew as "Mr. Tranh."

I dropped that sometime after I moved to Mu.Nu. Trouble is, I only occasionally did anything with the schtick, and it turns out that 80% of readers didn't even know it was the schtick. They just hadn't heard of it, and they just thought I was being a pompous dick for always saying "We."

And, by the way, I credited the guy I stole the basic premise from.

If you read the inside-joke explanation thread, you might have seen the mention that the old schtick used to be that this site was a lavishly-funded group effort, with a huge staff and gorgeous corporate offices on the secret 103rd floor of the Empire State Building. That's why there's the reference to the "staff" and stuff.

(And that, by the way, is a direct swipe from Mark Leyner's Et Tu, Babe, which I've always acknowleged. His basic premise. But no one seems to have read that book, so it didn't seem right to let a good premise die a lonely death just because his publisher didn't market his book very well. So I "reintroduced" the schtick for what seems to be, sadly, a larger audience.)

Anyway, maybe Sic Willy thought of the schtick on his own. I sort of doubt it, though. He seems stupid. Plus, he doesn't really get silly with it, making it obviously a spoof; he seems kind of determined to push this idea of having a "staff" and merely being "our founding editor" as real.

Over at Hot Air, a claim -- premature, I think -- of of Haley vindicated due to the shoe that didn't drop.

As Mr. Wolf would say, if he were appearing in a cameo on Sesame Street, "Gentlemen, let's not start soaping each other's backs just yet." Folks is waging a campaign, true or false, to hit Haley with the maximum possible damage; I'd say that point occurs either before the primary or before the general election.

Via Jim Geraghty.


Posted by: Ace at 02:12 PM



Comments

1 ersta mahnn!

Posted by: damian at June 02, 2010 02:15 PM (4WbTI)

2 Gentlemen, I don't change my dialogue for anyone. Not even muppets. Unless they make a good cup of coffee.

Posted by: Mr. Wolf at June 02, 2010 02:16 PM (IhQuA)

3 buc-COCK!

Posted by: That Chicken at June 02, 2010 02:17 PM (9Sbz+)

4 The person writing these stupid missive about Folks is his partner Nancy Mace -- www.macegroupllc.com

Her clients should be ashamed they are associated with this sleazy outfit.

Posted by: Topsecretk9 at June 02, 2010 02:17 PM (MbyMv)

5 Now pretty please with sugar on top...clean the goll-danged car!

Posted by: Winston Wolf at June 02, 2010 02:17 PM (HpT9p)

6 So did she bone this loser or not?

Posted by: kansas at June 02, 2010 02:19 PM (mka2b)

7 I'd say that point occurs either before the primary or before the general election.

And when is the primary anyway?

Posted by: joncelli at June 02, 2010 02:20 PM (RD7QR)

8
Biggest Douche Bag Since Scott Beauchamp

Posted by: snagglepuss at June 02, 2010 02:21 PM (GRgk4)

9 Erick Erickson, intrepid blogger with no sense of satire, will be making a post about this subject very shortly.

Posted by: Erick Erickson at June 02, 2010 02:21 PM (FkKjr)

10 Unless they make a good cup of coffee.
You know what's on my mind right now? It AIN'T the coffee in my kitchen. It's the fruity bass player running his mouth.

Posted by: Jimmie Dimmick at June 02, 2010 02:22 PM (vD76z)

11 He's really annoying me with this third-person crap

"Antwon Jones has moves that even Antwon Jones hasn't seen!"

(From the Replacements, a movie with Kenau Reeves that's actually funny to watch).

Posted by: Antwon Jones llc/ TM /pat.pending at June 02, 2010 02:22 PM (R2fpr)

12 6 So did she bone this loser or not?
Posted by: kansas at June 02, 2010 02:19 PM (mka2b)

It seems to me that she would be the bonee rather than the boner. Unless, of course, Folks likes to...ewwwwwwww.

Posted by: joncelli at June 02, 2010 02:22 PM (RD7QR)

13 "6 So did she bone this loser or not?"

IMO, no. But it doesn't matter anyway. She's going to win.

Posted by: Parker Griffith at June 02, 2010 02:22 PM (VXBR1)

14 Reid and Pelosi on guitar, Rhambo on drums, Teh iWon on keyboard, and I
can't make the lead singer, but check out this great parody of "Money
For Nothing" from PolitiZoid on YouTube...

I love the Bachelor
running gag...


http://tinyurl.com/295vyv9

Posted by: FORGER - Racist Czar at June 02, 2010 02:22 PM (5NWM8)

15 Read Nancy Mace's twitter and you can see she's the backend on this

http://twitter.com/nancymace

She's also list on FitNes sit on the contact page for media

Posted by: Topsecretk9 at June 02, 2010 02:22 PM (MbyMv)

16 A book? About this?

It is to laugh.

Posted by: FreakyBoy at June 02, 2010 02:23 PM (uKraB)

17 Not even muppets. Unless they make a good cup of coffee.

How long do you need to roast a muppet for coffee?

Posted by: Rob Crawford at June 02, 2010 02:23 PM (ZJ/un)

18 Oops.

Posted by: Bugler at June 02, 2010 02:23 PM (VXBR1)

19 I am shocked at my lack of surprise here.

Posted by: Filly at June 02, 2010 02:24 PM (CGr9Q)

20 Isn't Mr. Wolf the guy who does Law Order?

Posted by: Dr. Varno at June 02, 2010 02:25 PM (0QJjg)

21
I'm a huge fuckup and incompetent but the press doesn't seem to notice.

Posted by: Ken Salad Czar at June 02, 2010 02:25 PM (GRgk4)

22 Given that new ad at HA, you have to admit this lady is cool under fire.

Posted by: Bugler at June 02, 2010 02:25 PM (VXBR1)

23 #7 And when is the primary anyway?

S.C Primary:Tuesday8June2010

Posted by: Kratos (missing from the side of Mt Olympus) at June 02, 2010 02:25 PM (9hSKh)

24 You know it is sad when the National Enquirer won't pony up a the cost of a cup of coffee to hear your story.

Posted by: Penfold at June 02, 2010 02:26 PM (1PeEC)

25 And then after the book?
The Graphic Novel!!!
Swoosh!!!!

Posted by: Will Folsk, The Incredible Douche at June 02, 2010 02:26 PM (tWf3S)

26 Can a male be a "shameless hussy"?

Posted by: curious at June 02, 2010 02:26 PM (p302b)

27 Can a male be a "shameless hussy"?
The word 'hussy' comes from Middle English 'houswif' (housewife), so to answer your question, yes.

Posted by: Dr. Varno at June 02, 2010 02:28 PM (0QJjg)

28 Huh? Who was that imposter????
Please excuse me, citizen. I sense someone who is desperately in need of my hyper-inflated sense of self....
Swish!!!

Posted by: Will Folks, The Incredible Douche at June 02, 2010 02:28 PM (tWf3S)

29 "26 Can a male be a "shameless hussy"?"

OK, I had an inappropriate physical relationship with Will Folks.

Posted by: Erick Erickson at June 02, 2010 02:28 PM (VXBR1)

30 Only if taking it in the a$$, which it sounds like Folks would do for a dime.

Posted by: Penfold at June 02, 2010 02:28 PM (1PeEC)

31 If she did, then she is either ignorant as to the existence of any true evidence (pics or it didn't happen) or she is confident that nothing exists. The other option is that she is crazier/more brazen than he is, and thinks that she can somehow shoulder past anything that he has.
Given his track record, I'm still going with no, nothing happened, and the jerk saw his shot and took it. The fact that media outlets are shying from this when other crap has floated before indicates that the supposed 'other sources' all crapped out.

Posted by: Blue Hen at June 02, 2010 02:29 PM (R2fpr)

32 I actually used to read this guys website (just because its one of the only ones dealing in local SC politics), but I stopped because, well, its just sort of unprofessional.

I don't find his bragging about "an inappropriate physical relationship" credible, and frankly even assuming it were, I can't possibly see how that's going to translate into anything worthy of publication into a book.

At absolute best its a 2-3 page tabloid style essay, and that's even being generous.


Posted by: looking closely at June 02, 2010 02:29 PM (6Q9g2)

33

1. Book
2. ????
3. Profit!!1!!11!

Posted by: wee willy folks at June 02, 2010 02:29 PM (HtIec)

34 Eh,
I'll just wait for the bastardized porno version "This Ain't [insert stupid ass book title]"

Posted by: MFM at June 02, 2010 02:30 PM (0Hn5w)

35 OT: So, is Joran Van Der Sloot officially a serial killer yet? FNC reporting that Interpol is looking for him across South America following the murder of a woman in a hotel he's been connected to this past weekend.

Posted by: Methos at June 02, 2010 02:30 PM (Xsi7M)

36 50,000 hits a day?
That's, like, 50 people. Falco's MySpace page gets more hits than that.

Posted by: Zorachus at June 02, 2010 02:30 PM (E1Ymf)

37 They just hadn't heard of it, and they just thought I was being a
pompous dick for always saying "We."

Thought? That's past tense. It implies that something happened in the past that no longer happens in the present. Did I miss a memo? Did we decide Ace is not a pompous dick? I haven't noticed anything to warrant a re-assessment.

Posted by: Steve L. at June 02, 2010 02:30 PM (Gkhxf)

38 A former rock-n-roll bass player

Wow...he had 2 hands, really?
WE are impressed.
He had to be the bass player anyway as that's the only spot open in rock bands for fat, ugly, balding guys. At least he didn't stutter.


Posted by: Rocks at June 02, 2010 02:31 PM (Q1lie)

39 A book. Shit. This story isn't interesting enough to keep me occupied through the morning dump.

Posted by: maddogg at June 02, 2010 02:31 PM (OlN4e)

40 But no one seems to have read that book,
Hey. For a good book, it sold huge—about a thousand times the average new "literary fiction" title's total. And he was still Literary then.
I bought two, because two of the editions are slightly different. And because I'm a dork.

Posted by: oblig. at June 02, 2010 02:31 PM (x7Ao8)

41 Can a male be a "shameless hussy"?
Posted by: curious

If you are a Moronette whose interest (among other things) has been piqued, then one stands before you now.

If you are not, get another drink, go away and siddown.

Posted by: Blue Hen at June 02, 2010 02:31 PM (R2fpr)

42 I think we already came up with lots of suggestions for Will Folks books and movies in another thread. Sic Willie should take a look.

Posted by: Waterhouse at June 02, 2010 02:31 PM (Mtciz)

43 Just remember, morons...I never existed...

Posted by: Mr. Tranh at June 02, 2010 02:31 PM (q/kmn)

44 Falco's MySpace page gets more hits than that.

Ha!

Posted by: IreneFingIrene at June 02, 2010 02:32 PM (JKe0g)

45
Van Der Sloot?

Isn't that the kid who probably killed Natalee Holloway and got away with it?

Posted by: Ken Salad Czar at June 02, 2010 02:32 PM (GRgk4)

46 A former rock-n-roll bass player

He doesn't know any chords.

Posted by: damian at June 02, 2010 02:32 PM (4WbTI)

47 Finally the truth can be told. I'm the secret love-child of Elvis Presley and Annette Funicello. And my peeny is very, very long.

Posted by: Will Folks at June 02, 2010 02:32 PM (VXBR1)

48 his behavior is entirely 'conisderable' (supra)

( I think that's a combination of sociciopathic, dishonorable, and unreliable!)


Posted by: sleemis at June 02, 2010 02:33 PM (hZyeK)

49 A book deal! I'm so proud. Wait till you see our private sex video we are arranging to have stolen!.

Posted by: Mrs. Folks at June 02, 2010 02:33 PM (Q1lie)

50 What a soulless pig.

Posted by: mpfs at June 02, 2010 02:33 PM (iYbLN)

51 I correct myself.

What a soulless, morally bankrupt, vile, cocksucking pig.

There, I feel better.


Posted by: mpfs at June 02, 2010 02:35 PM (iYbLN)

52 After helping guide Sanford to an unlikely victory,..

HaHA,wht crap he was a press flack so there is no "guiding" there.

Anyway, after leaving Sanford’s office under a cloud of controversy in
2005...

I figured he got fired, that begs the question if Haley is such a friend of Sanford why would she hire him?

Needless to say, Folks has always had a “hyper-inflated” sense of his
own self worth,

Finally some truth. IOW he is an arrogant SOB.


Posted by: Vic at June 02, 2010 02:35 PM (6taRI)

53 @45
Yup. If I recall, daddy ain't around to protect him this time, though.

Posted by: Methos at June 02, 2010 02:35 PM (Xsi7M)

54 Sorry Ace but I am not buying that there is anything else. He was going to first put out some evidence in the next day or two, then he started whining because Haley wouldn't show the world her emails, then it was going to be before the debate. Now he says that Haley's people are telling him to write a book and save it until then.
This reminds me of the whole Arican Press scam regarding Michelle Obama last year. It the end there was nothing.

Posted by: robtr at June 02, 2010 02:36 PM (fwSHf)

55 He had to be the bass player anyway as that's the only spot open in rock bands for fat, ugly, balding guys.
If this was a shot at Chares Johnson, perfectly appropriate.
If this was a shot at Dave in Texas, also perfectly appropriate, but I condemn you fully and on behalf of all the cobloggers.

Posted by: Jack M. at June 02, 2010 02:36 PM (nF4Jh)

56 Folks is waging a campaign, true or false, to hit Haley with the maximum possible damage

Sic Willie rolls 2d10, ladies!

Posted by: Will Folks, Integrity Dwarf at June 02, 2010 02:37 PM (Mtciz)

57 his behavior is entirely 'conisderable' (supra)( I think that's a combination of sociciopathic, dishonorable, and unreliable!)Dude your being way to generous - he's fucking retarded.
Don't ya get it?

Posted by: Raodking at June 02, 2010 02:37 PM (PfikK)

58 He is so teh gey

Posted by: HillBuzzityBuzz at June 02, 2010 02:38 PM (ZtwUX)

59 Sorry Ace but I am not buying that there is anything else. He was going to first put out some evidence in the next day or two, then he started whining because Haley wouldn't show the world her emails, then it was going to be before the debate. Now he says that Haley's people are telling him to write a book and save it until then.
Posted by: robtr

You forgot the bit about 'his lawyers were stopping him from releasing anything more'. And this tortured path was similar to the one taken as to why he started talking in the first place.

Posted by: Blue Hen at June 02, 2010 02:38 PM (R2fpr)

60 So, is Joran Van Der Sloot officially a serial killer yet?

Once you let a predator taste human blood, you have to put them down.

Posted by: damian at June 02, 2010 02:39 PM (4WbTI)

61 Et Tu was better than My Cousin, My Gastroenterologist.
...but not as good as T. Coraghessan Boyle.

Posted by: LexisTexas at June 02, 2010 02:39 PM (Vt8uv)

62 Sometimes it's not who gets there first, it's who can leverage their position the
best.

Posted by: McLovin at June 02, 2010 02:39 PM (o+bH/)

63 Speaking of serial killers, something interesting I read today about Gacy.


Posted by: HeatherRadish at June 02, 2010 02:40 PM (mR7mk)

64 Alien abduction with anal probes? I can't talk about it.

Posted by: Will Folks at June 02, 2010 02:40 PM (VXBR1)

65 Look, she fucked him. Deal with that reality and move on.

Posted by: Sally Ann Cavanaugh at June 02, 2010 02:41 PM (FRErk)

66 all under the control of a secretive and mysterious rightwing benefactor we only knew as "Mr. Tranh."
Doesthis benefactorhave a Ph.D. in kicking your ass?

Posted by: Joanna at June 02, 2010 02:41 PM (7+WuG)

67 Once you let a predator taste human blood, you have to put them down.
Posted by: damian at June 02, 2010 02:39 PM (4WbTI)
Hopefully fatally wounded and make them use their own self-destruct thermonuclear device. It's the only way to be sure.

Posted by: Johnnyreb at June 02, 2010 02:41 PM (WGcw3)

68 "At absolute best its a 2-3 page tabloid style essay, and that's even being generous. "
Dear Smuttmaggz Editors,
I never thought I'd be writing a letter like this...

Posted by: Will Folks, totally a published author at June 02, 2010 02:41 PM (sPO/s)

69 Thanks, Sally. You're the best.

Posted by: Will Folks at June 02, 2010 02:42 PM (VXBR1)

70 So, is Joran Van Der Sloot officially a serial killer yet? FNC reporting that Interpol is looking for him across South America following the murder of a woman in a hotel he's been connected to this past weekend.
And now I am on my way to Rio! Just wait for my week of breathless reporting and in depth analysis.

Posted by: Greta Van Sustren at June 02, 2010 02:42 PM (OWjjx)

71 Look, she fucked him. Deal with that reality and move on.
Posted by: Sally Ann Cavanaugh at June 02, 2010 02:41 PM (FRErk)
She told me she wouldn't even fuck him with your dick Sally.

Posted by: robtr at June 02, 2010 02:42 PM (fwSHf)

72 OT: Michelle, Her Royal Wookiness, is stomping (heh) for Reid in Nevada.

Yeah, that'll work.

Bye, bye Harry.

Posted by: mpfs at June 02, 2010 02:42 PM (iYbLN)

73 Deal with that reality and move on.
Posted by: Sally Ann Cavanaugh

You are the only one who would associate any of your missives with the word 'reality'.
Have fun at the Sic Willy fan club meeting

Posted by: Blue Hen at June 02, 2010 02:43 PM (R2fpr)

74 Sally Ann Cavanaugh at June 02, 2010 02:41 PM (FRErk)
*cues up One (Is the Loneliest Number)*

Posted by: reason at June 02, 2010 02:44 PM (sPO/s)

75 >> for fat, ugly, balding guys

Hey!
I ain't balding.

Posted by: Dave in Texas at June 02, 2010 02:44 PM (WvXvd)

76

OT: George W. is now on Twitter and Facebook.

Posted by: Dang Straights at June 02, 2010 02:44 PM (fx8sm)

77 What I find funny is that this guy sounds like a complete tool, even when he's being described by someone (maybe him) who's supposedly on his side. That picture definitely fits with his decision to put that putrid video faux-interview out there. I'm guessing that either he has no clue how badly he comes off, or he doesn't care, because he thinks any publicity is good publicity.

Posted by: Splunge at June 02, 2010 02:44 PM (9uwvY)

78
Look, she fucked him. Deal with that reality and move on.


Posted by: Sally Ann Cavanaugh

Sally I find you guilty if mind raping.
Sounds like you want to fuck Willy boy.

No accounting for taste.

Posted by: mpfs at June 02, 2010 02:44 PM (iYbLN)

79 You would think that rational newspapers would have dropped this BS by now since Folks has failed in all of it but look at what the Dem PR rag in Columbia is hailing as a headline:

GOP candidates for governor focus on economy in
debate

That's the headline but 7 paragraphs (about half of the article) talk about Will Folk's BS and not about the ideas put forth by the Republicans in the debate about SC's economy.

After all, people might be interested in what the Republicans see as ways to help the State's economy. Can't have that.

Posted by: Vic at June 02, 2010 02:45 PM (6taRI)

80 Look, I am an attention seeking whore. Deal with it.

Posted by: Sally Ann Cavanaugh at June 02, 2010 02:45 PM (OWjjx)

81 OT: Michelle, Her Royal Wookiness, is stomping (heh) for Reid in Nevada.Yeah, that'll work.Bye, bye Harry.
Posted by: mpfs
Don't be so hasty. Wookies hate to lose. Ya want your arms ripped out of their sockets!?!

Posted by: Blue Hen Solo at June 02, 2010 02:45 PM (R2fpr)

82 Seriously, we're doing our best to try and get her to tan... Our makeup artists use talc for base!

Posted by: FNC Travel Advisor for Greta Van Susteren at June 02, 2010 02:46 PM (sPO/s)

83
Al Gore is a fucking pedophile.

I said it. It's out there. Deal with it.

Posted by: Ken Salad Czar at June 02, 2010 02:46 PM (GRgk4)

84 Look, I am a complete useless idiot. Deal with it.

Posted by: Sally Ann Cavanaugh at June 02, 2010 02:47 PM (OWjjx)

85 NPD sufferers look at reactions like this and laugh. They flip it in their heads. They convince themselves that any attention is good attention.
No, Folks, this is bad. It makes you look bad. It's that simple. Dummy.
I was watching reading about a test and a survey psych researchers were doing. They video-taped subjects doing something (can't remember) that revealed how selfish or greedy they were or something to that effect. It was to be for a television production, either a news story or a documentary. After the taped part, they surveyed them and, among other things, rated them on narcissism. One guy who looked particularly loathsome was off the scale on narcissism.They went to him for permission to use his tape and results in the documentary/report. He said that would be great. The researchers wern't sure if he understood and explained to him again, stressing that he looked particularly bad in the study and that people would see that. He responded with glee, to paraphrase, "I'll look great. I'll be on TV."
Folks thinks he looks great.

Posted by: rdbrewer at June 02, 2010 02:47 PM (nrP7Z)

86 Look, face the reality. I have shit for brains. Deal with it.

Posted by: Sally Ann Cavanaugh at June 02, 2010 02:48 PM (OWjjx)

87 It's always vomit inducing to observe someone who is thoroughly convinced of his own cleverness, and who wants to blabber on and on about how truly magnificent every single brain fart emerging from the churning stew of his super heated brain is. It's really not that dissimilar to seeing a homeless guy jerking off on Market Street.

Posted by: kathysaysso at June 02, 2010 02:48 PM (ZtwUX)

88 Willie hates people who talk about themselves in the third person. Willie hates that.

Posted by: william folks at June 02, 2010 02:48 PM (7b1Uc)

89 I could read about Will Folks forever. And I think I'm gonna be.

Posted by: WalrusRex at June 02, 2010 02:48 PM (xxgag)

90 I hope a Will Folks Love Ballads CD is in the works.I wanna be creepily and psychotically raped in the ear.

Posted by: Joanie (Oven Gloves) at June 02, 2010 02:49 PM (HaYO4)

91 Still no pics, still no story. The longer he carries this crap on, the more graphic those pics better be. We are already at the point of lingerie and anonymous hotel rooms, by next week they had better be NSFW.

Posted by: Jean at June 02, 2010 02:50 PM (OlnxK)

92 Willie hates people who talk about themselves in the third person. Willie hates that.
Ricky doesn't. Ricky often talks about Ricky in the third Ricky, sometimes the fourth Ricky. Cause that is how Ricky rolls. Ricky even thinks about Ricky in the third Ricky.

Posted by: Ricky Henderson at June 02, 2010 02:50 PM (OWjjx)

93 If this was a shot at Chares Johnson, perfectly
appropriate.
If this was a shot at Dave in Texas, also perfectly appropriate, but I
condemn you fully and on behalf of all the cobloggers.

Posted by: Jack M. at June 02, 2010 02:36 PM (nF4Jh)

It's not required. You an be good looking and be a bass player. It's just you are limited to that if you are fat, ugly and eventually balding.
DiT , playin' bass without sittin' on a stool counts as exercise, barely. Also, think Rogaine.

Posted by: Rocks at June 02, 2010 02:52 PM (Q1lie)

94 Look, the reality is, I will never know the caress of an actual, human, man. I've come to deal with that fact and move on...
...to writing Alan Colmes fanfics...

Posted by: Sally Ann Cave-in-naught at June 02, 2010 02:52 PM (sPO/s)

95 I NEVER THOUGHT IT WOULD HAPPEN TO ME
a memoir by Will Folks

Posted by: Brendan at June 02, 2010 02:52 PM (saRwI)

96 Some of us are so awesome, we speak of ourselves in the fourth person.
(The pronouns are currently being developed. We expect a singular, nominative-case prototype any day now. We're running a little behind schedule on this project.)

Posted by: FireHorse at June 02, 2010 02:52 PM (cQyWA)

97 Screw Folks and the fairytale he rode in on. Let's consider something infinitely more important:

"...Because I was claiming that this wasn't a one-man operation, but rather a
lavishly funded 644-man operation consisting chiefly of..."

So you're saying this isn't actually a smart, military blog?

Posted by: AnonymousDrivel at June 02, 2010 02:53 PM (swuwV)

98 Look, face the reality. My pooter really smells and no one wants to have sex with me. Even smelly camels run away. I can't deal with it.

Posted by: Sally Ann Cavanaugh, Skank Wanna Be at June 02, 2010 02:54 PM (iYbLN)

99 9
Erick Erickson, intrepid blogger with no sense of satire, will be making
a post about this subject very shortly.

Yeah.. Was that the stupidest thing ever, or what?

I know they are a strange bunch over there at RedState (hey, I been banned twice! woohooo!) But no one in their right mind could have thought that was humorous... or even satirical.

Posted by: Chi-Town Jerry at June 02, 2010 02:54 PM (f9c2L)

100 We are already at the point of lingerie and anonymous hotel rooms, by next week they had better be NSFW.
Posted by: Jean
Speak for yourself. We were always hoping that this was either a total frame up job that would result in Folks going down in flames or of a N.H. solo tape. Any other evidence would be simply sickening.

Posted by: Blue Hen at June 02, 2010 02:55 PM (R2fpr)

101 Look. I fucked him. Deal with that reality and move on.

Posted by: Sally Ann Cavanaugh at June 02, 2010 02:55 PM (wWwJR)

102 Willie hates people who talk about themselves in the third person.
Willie hates that.

Bob Dole is not amused.

Posted by: Bob Dole at June 02, 2010 02:55 PM (mR7mk)

103 Note, that I'm actually a registered Republican in SC.

Here's a relatively good article on the race from the local newspaper.

Nobody here has been talking about this, but my impression is that

a. Nobody believes Will Folks, and pretty much everyone is revolted that he's making these accusations, and that

b. Utterly independent of Folks and his schtick, the smart money is probably on current Attorney General McMaster (and former SC US Attorney under the Reagan administration) to win the Republican nomination for Governor.


Posted by: looking closely at June 02, 2010 02:55 PM (PwGfd)

104 As Mr. Wolf would say, if he were appearing in a cameo on Sesame
Street, "Gentlemen, let's not start soaping each other's backs
just yet." Folks is waging a campaign, true or false, to hit Haley
with the maximum possible damage; I'd say that point occurs either
before the primary or before the general election.

I disagree with your conclusion. I would say Folks is engaged in a campaign of maximum self promotion first and foremost, a shadowey super villain yet to be revealed has interest in the damage angle. However Lex has put Super Butterball the mutant turkey in charge of the operation. And drunk off the opportunity to be something more than a decent dinner for homeless families, he struck with his coup fourre early, overestimating the damaging nature of the texts, and now is left in deafening silence with a media asking, "well do you have 'real' proof?" and him trying to sell a book deal. As any sales guy knows you don't hard sell the product till you put the whole package on the table. And if he's moved on to the "book deal" phase of the evil plan, I would say it is at least a strong possibility we're looking at the complete package were supposed to buy.

Posted by: MikeTheMoose at June 02, 2010 02:56 PM (0q2P7)

105 Jimmy likes it when Ace does his third-person shtick.

Posted by: Jimmy at June 02, 2010 02:58 PM (swuwV)

106 MATT DAMON!

Posted by: Matt Damon at June 02, 2010 02:59 PM (mR7mk)

107 Here's a relatively good article on
the race from the local newspaper.

Good article??? Not possible to have a "good article" about Republicans from The State newspaper. (See comment 80)

And McMaster, he is a McCain/Graham supporter, therefore a RINO and Haley will win the primary by a large margin and maybe even by a spread large enough to negate the need for a runoff.

That is if the Grahamnasty crowd doesn't have some strange crap like running out of ballots at 10 am in areas that support Haley.

Posted by: Vic at June 02, 2010 03:02 PM (6taRI)

108 Dude, smell my finger!

No, not that one! That's the one I type with!

Posted by: Wwwilly Fffolkes at June 02, 2010 03:03 PM (rgQEE)

109 77


OT: George
W. is now on Twitter and Facebook.


Posted by: Dang Straights at June 02, 2010 02:44 PM



Thanks for the link, Dang.

I am still resisting Facebook but I've surrendered to following a few people on Twitter so I'll give W a try, if only to make lefty friends' heads explode when I show them one of his tweets. Atleast I hope their heads will explode.

Posted by: Retread at June 02, 2010 03:04 PM (FxOui)

110 Okay, say he banged the chick. So fucking what?

How fucking important is a book about some nobody blogger who banged either a) the future governor of a smallish state, or b) a failed candidate for governor of a smaller state?

It's still bragging about being a small time sleazebag. What do I, here in the Midwest, care about the possible peccadillos of a South Carolina politician that may or may not be true? It's not like the Arkansas mafia is trying to shut him up, or we've got a guy with the nuclear codes giving the Russians blackmail material.

Who'd by this book, about 5,000 SC politicos and one reporter for the Charlotte Times?

Not that I believe this puffy Chris Elliot lookalike.

It's obvious that the money's in making the allegations, and that he's being paid for it. He sure won't make a fortune off a week or two's web hits.

Posted by: nickless at June 02, 2010 03:05 PM (MMC8r)

111 90 - I just had a coffee spit moment

Posted by: kallisto at June 02, 2010 03:05 PM (+FkcS)

112 Twitter so I'll give W a try, if only to make lefty friends' heads
explode when I show them one of his tweets. Atleast I hope their heads
will explode.

It's only some staffer sending out blurbs ("buy laura's book!"), but I loved seeing him going from 800 followers to 2500+ in about 10 minutes.

Posted by: Dang Straights at June 02, 2010 03:07 PM (fx8sm)

113 I will say that it's possible to be both cool, slender, and a rock 'n roll bass player. I simply haven't found a way to be all three just yet. Or even one. Fuck.

Ooops! I just said a bad word! I hope I don't roast in the eternal fires of damnation!

Posted by: Huckabee at June 02, 2010 03:07 PM (rgQEE)

114 Referring to oneself in the third person?
Little Miss Spellcheck finds that pretentious.

Posted by: Little Miss Spellcheck at June 02, 2010 03:07 PM (a5ljo)

115 I like to pronounce my opinions as settled fact, and to order a bunch of commenters to change the subject. I've been a naughty, naughty troll. Won't somebody please spank me? (Please?)

Posted by: Sally Ann Cavanaugh at June 02, 2010 03:08 PM (9Sbz+)

116 Sorry to be off topic here, but this Al Gore thing has really been eating at me. I mean, if Al and Tipper can't make, who can?

Couldn't they just stay together for the sake of the children? Not their children, of course, but the children of the earth? I mean, think about it: two Gores with carbon footprints bigger than Al Gore's head? It's unfathomable.

Posted by: ArcticBoy at June 02, 2010 03:08 PM (90bLF)

117 I don't know what's funnier, Walrus Rex's comment or Wiilly Fooks' failure as a rock bass guitarist.

Posted by: kallisto at June 02, 2010 03:09 PM (+FkcS)

118 but I loved seeing him going from 800 followers to 2500+ in about 10 minutes.
How much you want to bet that number is made up mostly of people like Andi Sullivan and Joe McGinniss?

Posted by: wiserbud at June 02, 2010 03:10 PM (wWwJR)

119 I am not sure what sort of rock and roll person spells it "rock-n-roll" but I am betting it is a person who rarely rocks and mostly rolls popsicles around in his mouth (because he finds them tasty, yet very cold).

Posted by: BeckoningChasm at June 02, 2010 03:10 PM (eNxMU)

120 "Not complete proof, but you know what? I would start looking for another candidate, if I'm being honest." Ace, May 26, 2010
Just thought it might be time to revisit that quote as a reminder of Ace's steadfastness.

Posted by: SteveN at June 02, 2010 03:11 PM (7EV/g)

121 joncelli wishes Will Folks would contract gonorrhea from a yak and die in of genital decay. That would enable joncelli to speak of himself in the third person some more. joncelli relishes that thought.

Posted by: joncelli at June 02, 2010 03:11 PM (RD7QR)

122 #113

Likely you're right, Dang, about it being a staffer, so maybe it'll only produce a headache instead of an actual explosion. Still, worth a try. Maybe he'll crack wise now and again.

Posted by: Retread at June 02, 2010 03:12 PM (FxOui)

123 rock bass guitarist.
I prefer the term "rock bass GOD!!" thankyouverymuch.

Posted by: Will Folks at June 02, 2010 03:12 PM (wWwJR)

124 Rock 'n Roll!

Posted by: Teen Beat Editor at June 02, 2010 03:12 PM (+FkcS)

125 but I loved seeing him going from 800 followers to 2500+

Looks like only about 5 people to us, just spread out to look like more.

Posted by: MFM Crowd Estimating Group Specializing in Tea Parties at June 02, 2010 03:15 PM (0q2P7)

126 >>>"Not complete proof, but you know what? I would start looking for another candidate, if I'm being honest." Ace, May 26, 2010

>>>Just thought it might be time to revisit that quote as a reminder of Ace's steadfastness.

Some people seem to invest an awful lot in the concept of "willingness to believe" as an outright virtue, and demean those who lack this, um, capacity.


Posted by: ace at June 02, 2010 03:18 PM (66DVY)

127 joncelli wishes Will Folks would contract gonorrhea from a yak and die in of genital decay. That would enable joncelli to speak of himself in the third person some more. joncelli relishes that thought.
Posted by: joncelli

Notice to S.C. MMs: We need information regarding yak sightings. If you spot Sally Ann Cavanagh, please report in to this blog.

Posted by: Blue Hen at June 02, 2010 03:19 PM (R2fpr)

128 Rock 'n Roll!

Eel, avocado, cucumber, masago.

Posted by: HeatherRadish at June 02, 2010 03:20 PM (mR7mk)

129 I know for a fact that Will Folks has a very large penis. Did anyone mention that already?

Posted by: Will Folks at June 02, 2010 03:22 PM (VXBR1)

130 New Nikki Haley commercial with her husband by her side, while Sic Willie looks for an out.

Posted by: Brian O'Connor at June 02, 2010 03:22 PM (Mcny5)

131 Why do people watch him when they could watch me? Ohhh, the humanity!

Posted by: Aleksey Vayner at June 02, 2010 03:25 PM (nrP7Z)

132 joncelli wishes Will Folks would contract gonorrhea from a yak and die in of genital decay. That would enable joncelli to speak of himself in the third person some more. joncelli relishes that thought.
Posted by: joncelli
Ricky says joncelli is an rookie Ricky and that Ricky thinks Ricky tells Ricky that Ricky is upset when non-Ricky's act like Ricky. Except Bob Dole. Ricky thinks Bob Dole is ok with Ricky.

Posted by: Ricky Henderson, being Ricky Henderson at June 02, 2010 03:28 PM (OWjjx)

133 So does anyone happen to have a link for the claim that Haley "barely knows" this loser? I'm asking because its what the idiot Seattle Slough liked to claim each time something comes out as proof that will folks was lying. The thing is I can't remember him ever linking anything to show that. And the denial links never seemed to show that either. So is that real or is just an addintional load of shit proving slough to be nothing but a liberal hack that will believe everything bad about Republicans but would probably excuse murder and rape by a democrat.

Posted by: buzzion at June 02, 2010 03:34 PM (oVQFe)

134 Ricky says joncelli is an rookie Ricky and that Ricky thinks Ricky tells Ricky that Ricky is upset when non-Ricky's act like Ricky. Except Bob Dole. Ricky thinks Bob Dole is ok with Ricky.

Posted by: Ricky Henderson, being Ricky Henderson at June 02, 2010 03:28 PM (OWjjx)

[Golf clap.]

Posted by: joncelli at June 02, 2010 03:39 PM (RD7QR)

135 You know what I think is probably the biggest piece of evidence that there was no affair is Will Folks himself. I mean when affairs happen and people start poking around both parties swear up and down that there was nothing going on. This assbag has played coy all along, even shopping the story around then tried to milk it for all it was worth. I mean if Tiger hadn't been dumb enough to use his cell phone and then leave it out for his wife to find, we'd have never known about it. But he did and then his wife decided to use his head as a tee box, and the release of the voicemail. But we'd have never heard of any of the skanks he did if it wasn't for his mistakes. They were keeping quiet. Its what people seem to do in affairs.

Posted by: buzzion at June 02, 2010 03:39 PM (oVQFe)

136 Buzzion--I don't think she ever said that. It's a Sloughism.

Posted by: Bugler at June 02, 2010 03:40 PM (VXBR1)

137 Will someone get that Folks guy out of my barn, he's starting to stink.

Posted by: The Chicken at June 02, 2010 03:41 PM (2+9Yx)

138 b. Utterly independent of Folks and his schtick, the smart money is
probably on current Attorney General McMaster (and former SC US Attorney
under the Reagan administration) to win the Republican nomination for
Governor.

Heard that at DeBordieu this weekend. We're going with Barret.

Posted by: Kemp at June 02, 2010 03:48 PM (2+9Yx)

139 but I loved seeing him going from 800
followers to 2500+

Looks like only about 5 people to us,
just spread out to look like more.


Funny it looks to be over a million to us.

Posted by: MFM Crowd Estimating Group Specializing in Mom and Man Marches at June 02, 2010 03:54 PM (0q2P7)

140
Am I entertained?

I am not.

Posted by: Ken Salad Czar at June 02, 2010 03:55 PM (GRgk4)

141 South Carolina: Come for the crazy politics, stay for the sleeper fags.

Posted by: Fritz at June 02, 2010 03:55 PM (GwPRU)

142 It's hard for me to believe that someone with as much integrity as Will Folks is lying. Power Players™, who drive the political debate in the great state of South Carolina, do not lie. This guy practically single-handedly got Mark Sanford elected. His website also tells me he's courageous and that that wife beating incident was just horseplay or self defense. This guy is a real straight shooter, I can feel it.

Posted by: Dr Spank at June 02, 2010 03:55 PM (pEK05)

143
get crackin' with the wise

Posted by: Ken Salad Czar at June 02, 2010 03:55 PM (GRgk4)

144 102 Look. I fucked him. Deal with that reality and move on.
Posted by: Sally Ann Cavanaugh at June 02, 2010 02:55 PM (wWwJR)

Hey, I thought I was obscure.

Posted by: Thomas Hardy at June 02, 2010 03:56 PM (w9bVp)

145 that wife beating incident was just horseplay or self defense.
Leave us out of this, please.

Posted by: horses at June 02, 2010 03:57 PM (IHbof)

146 Someone needs to drop a clue on this Folks Fuck, and by "clue", I mean anvil.

Posted by: DelD at June 02, 2010 04:11 PM (eWtdM)

147 So does anyone happen to have a link for the claim that Haley "barely
knows" this loser?-buzzion

I can't find any source for that either. WTF? I fell for it.. until you pointed this out.

Posted by: IreneFingIrene at June 02, 2010 04:33 PM (JKe0g)

148 These "I hardly knew him" comments seem to be all from commenters on FitNews and others especially a Paris Sailin (who I am sure is a shithead).

Posted by: IreneFingIrene at June 02, 2010 04:38 PM (JKe0g)

149 hmmmm

http://3.ly/dAD9

Posted by: yarrrrr at June 02, 2010 04:39 PM (JhEc8)

150 Fat, balding guys are reservedto bethe keyboard player in the band, but only if he wears a beret or a keyboard necktie.

Posted by: Dr. Varno at June 02, 2010 04:50 PM (0QJjg)

151 So what's Ace saying: imitation is no longer the sincerest form of douche-baggery?

Ace can do this DB Folks one better and take one for the team as well: announce a similar "exploratory committee" to look into a book deal for a tell-all-tale about how he and Sic Willy got caught up in a black hole booby-trapped duck blind that transported them to another dimension where Sic's disembodied Willy launched an attack on Nikki's disembodied nether regions that was intercepted by a sudden massive shower of e-mails with gamma ray effects that shrunk Sic's Willy down to a microcosmic scale and grew Nikki's wmd so large it enveloped an entire moon. Working title: The Effect of Gamma Rays on Will Folks' Moonbattery on Haley's Gold.

Posted by: Right Flapper at June 02, 2010 05:38 PM (Npnnx)

152 OK, let's put this Will Folks thing to rest. Someone give him the good beatdown he deserves, and then let's move on.

Posted by: Jay Guevara at June 02, 2010 05:41 PM (fCyZp)

Posted by: Helen THomas at June 02, 2010 05:42 PM (9wLy+)

154 I also nailed Tipper. Yup. Details to follow. I accept PayPal.

Posted by: Will Folks at June 02, 2010 05:42 PM (fCyZp)

155 I did Will Folks with a strapon. He whined like a little bitch.

Posted by: Helen THomas at June 02, 2010 05:45 PM (9wLy+)

156 Caring in 3, 2, 1...

It is just not happening for me, sorry.

Posted by: MarkD at June 02, 2010 05:52 PM (YhZfg)

157 Can't believe none of you grammar-maven morons noticed this:
Even before last week’s startling admission of an “inappropriate physical relationship” with S.C. Rep. Nikki Haley, our founding editor’s nine years in the Palmetto political scene has been nothing if not uneventful.
Er, that should be, "nothing if not eventful." Sloppy, and in the first graf.

Posted by: Picks at scabs and eats them at June 02, 2010 07:14 PM (UhEB9)

158 Oops, just noticed another: "our founding editor's nine years . . . has . . .
\

Posted by: Picks at scabs and eats them at June 02, 2010 07:19 PM (UhEB9)

159 Dear Will Folks,

Not even Bob Dole talks about Bob Dole in the third person squared.

Pimp.

Sincerely,

Bob Dole

Posted by: Noel at June 02, 2010 08:00 PM (Hh13R)

160 It seems that Folks is not the only claiming to have done the deed with Nikki Haley.

Posted by: Brian O'Connor at June 02, 2010 09:35 PM (Mcny5)

161 شات صوتي دردشة صوتية شات كتابي العاب بنات منتديات الشعر دليل المواقع مشاهير شعر كام شعر شاتات - دردشات مواقع ادبية منتديات مواقع عامة مواقع رياضية فيديو - يوتيوب دردشة صوتية دردشة كتابية غرف صوتية غرف صوتية شات سعودي غرف صوتية شاتات كتابية شات صوتي مركز تحميل منتديات مواقع عامة يوتيوب مركز تحميل مركز رفع يوتيوب فيديو افلام منتديات فيلم عسل اسود تسجيلات صوتية افلام اجنبية افلام عربية مسلسلات عربية كليبات برامج جوال - موبايل صور

Posted by: منتديات at June 03, 2010 01:07 PM (y9+yp)

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Posted by: hyt at June 16, 2010 05:08 PM (eSQNR)

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