House Members are Smarter than You. Part 1.

-An ongoing series examining the intellectual acumen of members of the House of Representatives or "Why the Senate laughs at you".

The Hill reports that, in questioning Admiral Robert Willard about the Navy's proposed relocation of 8,000 service personnel and their families to the Island of Guam, Rep. Hank Johnson (D- 4th District of Georgia) expressed an important objection.

Noted PhD and Mensa Chapter President Rep. Hank Johnson asserted that his "fear" is that the influx of people to the island would cause it to "tip over and capsize."

Let it be noted, that Rep. Hank Johnson, noted geologist and acclaimed expert on continental drift and plate tectonic theory, voted in favor of Obamacare. He knows better than you about things and stuff.

I especially like the way Johnson used his hands and the lean of his body to illustrate the Island's impending list. I hear James Cameron was so impressed that he's offering Rep. Hank Johnson (D- Obama makes the earth move under my feet) the title role in the Atlanta Little Theater's Off-Off Broadway rendition of Titanic.

I contacted Rep. Hank (D-Goin' down for the third time) Johnson's office and asked them if the good Representative had any other fears he wished to share. I was told that Rep. Johnson also fears:

-Future missions to the moon will cause Earth's satellite to "go all crazy and spin out of orbit"

-Drilling in the Alaskan National Wildlife Refuge will mean "heavy drilling equipment will cause the poles to shift and Kansas City will end up as the new North Pole"

-Excessive use of the office microwave will cause "the oxygen in the oven to interact with the atmosphere, making it overheat and burn away."

Posted by: Jack M. at 09:51 PM



Comments

1 Island tipping is racist.

Posted by: eman at March 31, 2010 09:57 PM (3fzoU)

2 But cow-tipping is awesome!

Wait....i thought cow-tipping involved putting my winky in it's boo-boo.

It's something else?

THAT"S WHY YOU WILL LOSE IN NOVEMBER

Posted by: Someguy's Inner Voice at March 31, 2010 09:58 PM (Ncr1R)

3 Could be worse. He could have gotten an affirmative action medical degree and be your doctor.

Posted by: kansas at March 31, 2010 09:59 PM (4kcAq)

4 omfg

Posted by: trailortrash at March 31, 2010 10:00 PM (5JiB+)

5 As long as everyone doesn't all run over to one side at once.

Posted by: Robinson Crusoe at March 31, 2010 10:01 PM (tX1wM)

6 oh.

dear.

god.

Posted by: BumperStickerist at March 31, 2010 10:01 PM (ruzrP)

7 Oh come on.

Every student that comes out of an inner city publik skewl knows that islands are at risk of sinking, not tipping over.

Geez.


Posted by: shibumi at March 31, 2010 10:02 PM (OKZrE)

8 Is there an IQ ceiling for being a member of congress?

Posted by: Cindermutha at March 31, 2010 10:02 PM (lQO5A)

9 lulz. least widest. i was under the impression that at its least widest, an island has no width. also, I was suprised to learn Guam had such a large population, i did not know that.

Posted by: dudeinsantacruz at March 31, 2010 10:02 PM (NA7sd)

10 Island tipping was a big problem in the Pacific Theater in WWII.

That's why we always landed on an island on the side opposite to the Japanese.

We also used fewer guys because the Japanese are fucking tiny; 40 pounds, tops.

Posted by: eman at March 31, 2010 10:03 PM (3fzoU)

11 I don't know if anyone else experienced this, but while I was watching that, several of my IQ points crawled out of my ear and punched me in the face.

Posted by: elliot at March 31, 2010 10:03 PM (GxjUG)

12 This should be a commercial in and of itself.

Run the part about the island capsizing, then put: "This man is a Democrat and voted for ObamaCare" as a caption.

Posted by: LibertarianJim at March 31, 2010 10:04 PM (86FvD)

13 It's April Fool's in Guam already?
Oh, tell me this is a joke.
Please?

Posted by: Mama AJ at March 31, 2010 10:04 PM (XdlcF)

14 'ya know with wizards like this, it's not surprising that concepts of taxes go up - economy goes down is beyond their grasp.

but hey, they're good for giggles.

Posted by: some wench at March 31, 2010 10:04 PM (uJBct)

15 Don't really know a thing about Adm Willard, but guaranteed a 4 star like him has brainpower somewhere along the lines of an order of magnitude or two higher than that idiot representative. The fact that and Admiral, a fucking FOUR STAR is forced to sit there and waste his extremely valuable time byenduring the moronic questions of a certifiable idiot,makesthisliterally sickening to watch.A Seaman shouldn't even have to sit there and tolerate that sort of stupidity.
He should be laughing at him instead of calling him "sir", but the fact that he doesn't is a testament to his own character. He's a better man than I am.

Posted by: Burn the Witch at March 31, 2010 10:05 PM (U37Ux)

16 Listening to this guy speaks make me want to die.

Posted by: ECM at March 31, 2010 10:05 PM (nYKDd)

17 This is a perfect example of why Mark Levin calls the Dems the "flat earth regressives", or something like that.

Posted by: Soap MacTavish at March 31, 2010 10:06 PM (554T5)

18 My husband was stationed there back in the 80s.
Oh, the stories he tells of storms in tipping season.

Posted by: Mama AJ at March 31, 2010 10:07 PM (XdlcF)

19 Notice how concepts like West, East, North, South. or longitude/latitude are way beyond him, so he's at a loss for words to describe the size and shape of the Island as he imagines it.

Here's someone I could excuse for believing in the global warming hoax. But what's everyone else's excuse? Oh wait, they're all dumb as a door knob.

Posted by: Matt at March 31, 2010 10:08 PM (J3jFV)

20 That's odd Batchelor just mentioned that it is April Fool's in tokyo already...lol

Posted by: curious at March 31, 2010 10:09 PM (p302b)

21 Please God...make it stop.

Posted by: Tami at March 31, 2010 10:09 PM (VuLos)

22 Rep. Johnson - tipping and capsizing islands. With his MIND!

Posted by: Insomniac at March 31, 2010 10:10 PM (YqLxo)

23 Can someone please tell me how the fuck the navy is supposed to sail all the way to Guam without falling off the edge of the earth? Duh.

Posted by: Ted Kennedy's Gristle Encased Head at March 31, 2010 10:11 PM (6fZqs)

24 How is this man NOT on a school board somewhere?

Posted by: Eric Massa at March 31, 2010 10:12 PM (MMC8r)

25 We pay his salary.

He can vote himself a raise and raise our taxes.

Life is good.


Posted by: eman at March 31, 2010 10:12 PM (3fzoU)

26 Don't anyone tell him the much smaller island of Manhattan has 8 million people. He'll have us all evacuated!

Posted by: Matt at March 31, 2010 10:12 PM (J3jFV)

27 WIDE! The word you're looking for is WIDE. The island is 7 miles WIDE!

Posted by: Xander Crews at March 31, 2010 10:13 PM (xsw0n)

28 So if the media wasn't in the tank for the Democrats, did you think this would be the news item for the next week?

Politicians say plenty of stupid things...but this? Your average first grader gets that islands don't go tipping over...

Posted by: 18-1 at March 31, 2010 10:13 PM (bgcml)

29 26,

Manhattan is held steady by the bridges.

Der!

Posted by: eman at March 31, 2010 10:13 PM (3fzoU)

30
And people laugh at me because I believe earthquakes are cause by fighting dinosaurs deep inside the earth.
It's twoo.

Posted by: YIKES! at March 31, 2010 10:13 PM (E5V01)

31 Weapons grade stupid.

Posted by: torabora at March 31, 2010 10:13 PM (1vcwB)

32 What you have here are carved out minority districts. This helps the GOP, but you wind up with Shela Jackson, this wing nut, and the commie from hell, Mel Watt.

Did I tell you I went to Yale, Mel we don't give a shit.

So bite your teeth, we get more GOP members for everyone of these "democrats" and we get the amusement of a minority districts stupidity of electing peoples like this.

"They" elected the only impeached federal judge evah, Rep Hasting who you are?


RACIST!

Posted by: Kemp at March 31, 2010 10:14 PM (2+9Yx)

33 How did everyone in the room keep a straight face? I would have had milk run out my nose when he said that about tipping the island.

Posted by: UncleZeb at March 31, 2010 10:15 PM (caBOB)

34 Ha ha, April Fool's ... right? Right?

Joke? Right? Please tell me this is joke.

Posted by: Plum Guile at March 31, 2010 10:15 PM (w8ddH)

35 How do we lose to these people (using "these people" in the non-racists term).


Andi I'm still frosted about Senator Cornyn's walk back of his walk back. Has anyone spoken with the esteemed senator's office?

If we get a few extra seats by not focusing exclusively on "repeal", which is the "thinking", what good does it do if the extras are squishy R's and won't vote for repeal? Haven't we seen that movie, Senator Cornyn? In fact, it plays on a continuous loop in Maine.




Posted by: The Hammer at March 31, 2010 10:15 PM (YBTwf)

36 This much stupid, harnessed and channeled into a single burst, could destroy a Borg Cube.

Posted by: eman at March 31, 2010 10:15 PM (3fzoU)

37 Admiral Robert Willard - since he was able to answer the imbecile's question without laughing or even smiling - is now one my military heroes. A man among men!

Posted by: Comrade Arthur at March 31, 2010 10:16 PM (clsVS)

38 US Congress-- It's like the Special Olympics or something.

Posted by: Eric Massa at March 31, 2010 10:17 PM (MMC8r)

39 lolwut?! That is one dumb SOB.

Posted by: Annabelle at March 31, 2010 10:17 PM (UfBHa)

40 8 Is there an IQ ceiling for being a member of congress?

No, but there is for Law School:

Johnson graduated from Clark College (now Clark Atlanta University) in 1976, was a member of Omega Psi Phi Kappa Alpha Alpha Chapter, Decatur, GA, and Texas Southern University's Thurgood MarshallSchool of Law in Houston in 1979; he practiced law in Decatur, Georgia for more than 25 years.

He's a lawyer.

An actual graduate of an accredited law school.

Curiously, the AAUP (American Association of Communist Wussmanities Professors) declared a fatwa on Clark Atlanta University recently.

Posted by: AmishDude at March 31, 2010 10:17 PM (Vo2Ef)

41 Howard Univ Grad ?

Posted by: Barbarian at March 31, 2010 10:17 PM (EL+OC)

42 Adm. Willard's ability to continue that conversation without so much as a facial tic is a testament to his Naval Academy training and superior genetics. A lesser man would have dropped a load in his pants while choking on his own spittle.

Posted by: Ted Kennedy's Gristle Encased Head at March 31, 2010 10:17 PM (6fZqs)

43 Fuck me running with my PJs on backwards, why isn't this terminally retarded shitstain in an institution?

My bad, he is, the House of Representatives.

Never mind.

Posted by: Old Hippie Vet at March 31, 2010 10:17 PM (3IZGh)

44 UncleZeb,

What killed me was the Admiral's cool response: "We don't anticipate that happening."

If I had been a staffer in that room I would have had to excuse myself.

However, having been a staffer, probably the only reason no one laughed was because everyone knows not to pay any attention to what Rep. Hank Johnson (D-Why didn't Japan sink when Godzilla attacked tokyo?) says.

Posted by: Jack M. at March 31, 2010 10:17 PM (Ncr1R)

45 It was nice of the navy to bite the bullet and do that. It's a USMC base that's being discussed. I don't think a USMC general officer could have kept from going full "WTF? mode" after that flip over and sink thing.

Posted by: Grimmy at March 31, 2010 10:17 PM (S9wuX)

46 Fuckers better be careful.

Posted by: dan in michigan at March 31, 2010 10:17 PM (9jRMu)

47 @37
I really am in awe of the man. His professionalism is without peer.

Posted by: Burn the Witch at March 31, 2010 10:18 PM (U37Ux)

48 So these Islands are like a Martini glass or a pedestal table. a thin tube holds them up out of the water. Why any good Congressman knows that eight thousand more people on any island will made it tip!PS. he knows this as gospel; Obama told him so!

Posted by: mystry at March 31, 2010 10:18 PM (kmgIE)

49 #8
There certainly isn't a IQ floor.

Posted by: Speechless at March 31, 2010 10:18 PM (KdLSd)

50 FYI, he is in Cynthia McKinney's seat.

So to speak.

Sorry. I take that back.

Posted by: AmishDude at March 31, 2010 10:19 PM (Vo2Ef)

51 /gay Democrat Congressman tickler sock

Posted by: nickless at March 31, 2010 10:19 PM (MMC8r)

52 Holy Fuck!

How does this man walk and breathe at the same time.

Posted by: Rickshaw Jack at March 31, 2010 10:21 PM (cIYNJ)

53 Don't rock the island!

Posted by: Dumb Ass From Guam at March 31, 2010 10:21 PM (1vcwB)

54 That was a joke.
This is edited video, and none of that stuff was really said.
Right?
Damnit! Tell me I'm right!

Posted by: Jim in San Diego at March 31, 2010 10:21 PM (F09Uo)

55 I love how, when he animatedly demonstrated with his hands his extreme concern about Guam tipping over and the poor islanders drowning (or would it just be the military guys? I'm just not good as the representative at science), the Admiral admirably managed to keep a straight face and simply say, "No, we don't anticipate that."

Classic and lol-worthy.

I think your IQ should at least match that of a paper towel before you are allowed to be a congresscritter.

Posted by: chique d'afrique (the African chick formerly known as african chick) at March 31, 2010 10:22 PM (AspuR)

56 Dear Lord, this cannot be real. Please tell me this is a joke!

Posted by: spypeach at March 31, 2010 10:22 PM (qsM1Q)

Posted by: kemp at March 31, 2010 10:22 PM (2+9Yx)

58 Saw this on HotAir... apparently Johnson has Hep C which can cause mental issues. So I'll give him a pass for his words.
The other liberals, though, can't claim a legitimate medical disability for their politics, as far as I know.

Posted by: malclave at March 31, 2010 10:22 PM (W1Ndc)

59 43...that's teh funny right there...

Posted by: The Hammer at March 31, 2010 10:22 PM (YBTwf)

60 PS...y'all arent going crazy, I edited out the punching down joke.

Why? Because I don't want people to run away from making this vid go "viral" because of that inside joke.

But all you who hang on my every word got to see it...consider it your reward for hanging out on the late shift.

Posted by: Jack M. at March 31, 2010 10:22 PM (Ncr1R)

61 Was this congressman on drugs or was he mentally challenged? Or both? And these are the people that make our laws. That was not funny, that video. It was unbelievably depressing.

Posted by: Alaska Paul at March 31, 2010 10:23 PM (rMkgW)

62 And the kicker?

His vote cancels out my Congressman's.

Posted by: nickless at March 31, 2010 10:23 PM (MMC8r)

63 Already on Wikipedia

During a House Armed Services Committee hearing in March 2010, Johnson asked several questions of Admiral Robert F. Willard of the United States Pacific Command concerning the U.S. military installation on the island of Guam. The questions eventually led to Johnson asking Admiral Willard if he believed the island would become "so overly populated that it would actually tip-over and capsize.

Also, ease on the dude. He actually did something important and good in 2006. He beat Cynthia McKinney in the Dem primary! That's gotta be worth something!

Posted by: Comrade Arthur at March 31, 2010 10:24 PM (clsVS)

64 Johnson needed to step outside and do a doobie before further questioning. You know, clear his mind.....er....a....umm....er.....er...ah....mm.....

Posted by: GarandFan at March 31, 2010 10:24 PM (6mwMs)

65 Lemmie put you in some fuckin' punching down island geographical knowledge!

Posted by: Paul Anka at March 31, 2010 10:24 PM (onwJ3)

66 You can't make this stuff up.
Folks, we're looking at a future Darwin Award winner.

Posted by: JD at March 31, 2010 10:24 PM (zpBcl)

67 Wow. Just wow.

Posted by: Andy at March 31, 2010 10:24 PM (82Zkd)

68
There should be some sort of medal awarded to the top military brass for keeping there cool under retard assault.

Posted by: YIKES! at March 31, 2010 10:24 PM (E5V01)

69 Finally watched video, he so fucking drunk.

The Admiral almost laughs, but he catches hisselfs and make an answer.

Drunk or bad drugs. He be seeing Marion Barry?

Posted by: kemp at March 31, 2010 10:24 PM (2+9Yx)

70 Why should he be allowed to vote on matters of economic policy and national security, questioning a high-ranking military official, if he's mentally unstable?

Posted by: Benson at March 31, 2010 10:24 PM (qzcNU)

71 Well, thank goodness we avoided that idiot Palin.

Posted by: Filly at March 31, 2010 10:25 PM (onwJ3)

72 Well, if the man is ill, then the stupid ain't his fault.

It's the virus talking?

Posted by: eman at March 31, 2010 10:25 PM (3fzoU)

73 well, now I know why the south shore of Long Island is closer to the ocean than the north shore. can this guy also be elected my member of congress?

Posted by: Ira at March 31, 2010 10:25 PM (8CgUK)

74 Hey! I went to Howard, along with all my siblings. And we are all smart. Definitely dumb as this hapless idiot.

He went to Clark Atlanta University.

Posted by: chique d'afrique (the African chick formerly known as african chick) at March 31, 2010 10:25 PM (AspuR)

75 In 2012 the Chinese are going to cause worldwide devastation when they get all their citizens to jump in unison. The Mayans predicted this!

Posted by: fozzy at March 31, 2010 10:25 PM (ccEuN)

76 He'd still beat Wolf Blitzer on Jeopardy!

Posted by: andycanuck at March 31, 2010 10:25 PM (KdA1d)

77 Words fail me. Wow.

Posted by: brak at March 31, 2010 10:26 PM (W5NBA)

78 He really ought to hang out with Charlie Rangel.

Posted by: Neo at March 31, 2010 10:26 PM (tE8FB)

79 AND I BEAT ALLAH ON POSTING THIS!!11!!1! By 4 whole minutes!!11!






Seriously. That dude should stop cribbing stuff from this blog. It's so unbecoming.......

Posted by: Jack M. at March 31, 2010 10:26 PM (Ncr1R)

80 FWIW, he has Hep C, which eats your brain or something. That said, there's no reason for the dems to leave him in a position where he is wasting the Admiral's time.

Posted by: Xander Crews at March 31, 2010 10:26 PM (xsw0n)

81 This is a pre April Fools joke, right? Watch the Admiral's face as he tries to answer this stupidity. He is suppressing a smile. You can tell he wants to start laughing but his position won't allow it.

Posted by: Bill R. at March 31, 2010 10:26 PM (EhlQq)

82 Someone please tell me this is joke. A horrible joke...

Posted by: rawmuse at March 31, 2010 10:26 PM (AMis9)

83 Wonder how he voted on Obamacare?

Posted by: Andy at March 31, 2010 10:26 PM (82Zkd)

84 When Rep. Johnson needs to clear his mind, he uses a Q-Tip.

Posted by: Zimriel at March 31, 2010 10:27 PM (eop6z)

85 All you news bimbos who kept reminding us Sarah Palin said you can see Russia from the coast of Alaska (which happens to be true): this is even better! Lets run this 24/7! OK? Hello? Hello?????

Posted by: Matt at March 31, 2010 10:27 PM (J3jFV)

86 ...apparently Johnson has Hep C which can cause mental issues.

And the rest of congress? What's their excuse?

Posted by: Tami at March 31, 2010 10:27 PM (VuLos)

87 That's what happens when you only punch down half of an island.

Posted by: Filly at March 31, 2010 10:27 PM (onwJ3)

88 Why are you fut nuckers posting you tube vids. I mean shit yall how are ya gonna stop Obama armageddon with shit like this. giving this fool space on this moron blog. Runs some f'ing MSNBC shit and for more eyeballs and get some real conservative mother fu$%ers to run this site. -----chump dont want no help chump dont get no help. Just wait til my Lithium kicks in.

Posted by: dongerneedsfood at March 31, 2010 10:27 PM (rlAdN)

89 Sometimes an island will break off of its moorings and wander around the globe until it klonks into something.

Like India did.

Posted by: eman at March 31, 2010 10:27 PM (3fzoU)

90 Could it be that we've identified the one congressweasel who's actually dumber than Maxine Waters? 'Cuz, like, I really didn't think that was possible.

Posted by: Vile Roman at March 31, 2010 10:28 PM (iBzKc)

91 Bet old Hank also thinks humans are the main driver of the Earth's climate.

Posted by: Kratos (missing from the side of Mt Olympus) at March 31, 2010 10:28 PM (otlXg)

92 In light of this, I must declare that I am concerned that if I put a cup of cold coffee in my microwave and turn it on, that I will receive messages from the planet ZOD.

And really, I don't want any more Zod tunes.....

Posted by: Intrepid at March 31, 2010 10:28 PM (92zkk)

93 Sarah Palin said you can see Russia from the coast of Alaska

You confuse the words of Governor Palin with those of some hack Saturday Night Live writer, I'm afraid.

Posted by: Filly at March 31, 2010 10:28 PM (onwJ3)

94 The mind wobbles.

Posted by: Kelly Bundy at March 31, 2010 10:28 PM (tr6Dy)

95 Cindermutha at March 31, 2010 10:02 PM (lQO5A)

Not necessarily.

But based on previous examples, the CBC seems to have much looser standards.

Hmmmmmm.

I wonder how many box-tops he had to mail in to get that seat?

Posted by: CPT. Charles at March 31, 2010 10:28 PM (lYKj1)

96 #89, you forgot to mention punching down. Lol.

Posted by: chique d'afrique (the African chick formerly known as african chick) at March 31, 2010 10:29 PM (AspuR)

97 His town-hall meetings must have been illuminating. I would have to assume a district even safer for him than Puglosi's is for her.

Posted by: 141 Driver at March 31, 2010 10:30 PM (JFNQ7)

98 That was a joke.
This is edited video, and none of that stuff was really said.
Right?
Damnit! Tell me I'm right!
Posted by: Jim in San Diego at March 31, 2010 10:21 PM (F09Uo)
Ever catch the Maxine Waters show? That's a reality "bite" too.

Posted by: lMDr VB1.0 CS1st at March 31, 2010 10:30 PM (ucq49)

99 I wonder how people in England keep that island from tipping over. It's
obviously loaded unevenlydown south toward London.

They're all witches so they float. Duh.

Posted by: Andy at March 31, 2010 10:30 PM (82Zkd)

100 Hey! Let's all go to Los Angeles, at a pre-determined time, and see if we can tip over the US!

We can do it!

Posted by: Intrepid at March 31, 2010 10:30 PM (92zkk)

101 This is what makes me furious. Some in the black community will pull the lever for a dumb bastard like this simply because he is a black Democrat. Jesus christ, when is the "black community" going to stop this shit. Republicans have voted in dumbasses before, but that is the exception, not the rule. This is the way our entire country will be if Democrats base their whole party on fucking race poiltics. Wake the hell up, inner city black community!

Posted by: The Drizzle at March 31, 2010 10:30 PM (DZgJg)

102 Didn't anyone else catch the other howler about how moving people from one place on earth to another (Guam) would adversely impact coral reefs and cause further damage to the environment/global warming?

Posted by: chique d'afrique (the African chick formerly known as african chick) at March 31, 2010 10:31 PM (AspuR)

103 While all you racists are yukking it up, I hope you noticed that Adm. Willard was curiously reluctant to provide any evidence that Guam wouldn't tip over.

Posted by: Ted Kennedy's Gristle Encased Head at March 31, 2010 10:31 PM (6fZqs)

104 97,

The Scots keep a huge pile of rocks on their end.

Posted by: eman at March 31, 2010 10:31 PM (3fzoU)

105 If I was a reporter, I would ask him if eight thousand more people on the island of Antartica would made that island tip. Of course anyone this stupid does not know that it is a continent and I wouldalso askhim thatifit isanchored in place, only the power of Obama can move it. So, lets anchor Guam.

Posted by: mystry at March 31, 2010 10:32 PM (kmgIE)

106 Drilling in the Alaskan National Wildlife Refuge will mean "heavy
drilling equipment

No, man. Here's the problem with drilling: if you start drilling there the Earth will start to deflate like a big beach ball full of oil. We can't drill anymore because we'll just end up like a saggy sack.

Posted by: Plum Guile at March 31, 2010 10:32 PM (w8ddH)

107 If there is a tsunami warning for Guam, would it be illegal for inhabitants to run? Would tipping in restaurants be illegal too?

Posted by: Mon at March 31, 2010 10:32 PM (/TwqS)

108 More from the party of "smart".

Posted by: Rodney at March 31, 2010 10:33 PM (XRIh6)

109 If global warming makes Hawaii too hot, we can just use a big boat to push it toward Alaska. Right?
Damn, do I have to do all of the thinking around here?

Posted by: Rep. Hank Johnson (D) Dumbfuckistan at March 31, 2010 10:33 PM (QKKT0)

110 If all 1 billion Chinese jumped up and down at the same time, would the earth axis tilt and eliminate the seasons?

That keeps me up nights. Seriously.

Posted by: Rep. Hank Johnson (D-San Andreas Fault Seismologist) at March 31, 2010 10:33 PM (Ncr1R)

111 The Scots keep a huge pile of rocks on their end.

You're on a roll, dude.


Posted by: Soap MacTavish at March 31, 2010 10:34 PM (554T5)

112 Why was nobody in the room laughing? Were they asleep, or are they all damn stupid too?

The Admiral should have replied, "Have you picked up dirt lately, sir? That's some heavy stuff!"

Posted by: Randy at March 31, 2010 10:34 PM (4g0OL)

113 The Scots keep a huge pile of rocks on their end.





Posted by: eman
Cairns. I seen 'em.

Posted by: Plum Guile at March 31, 2010 10:34 PM (w8ddH)

114 94
Sarah Palin said you can see Russia
from the coast of AlaskaYou confuse the words of Governor
Palin with those of some hack Saturday
Night Live writer, I'm afraid.

No, that was "I can see Russia from my house."

There are places in Alaska where you can see Russian soil, they're less than 50 miles apart.

Posted by: AmishDude at March 31, 2010 10:34 PM (Vo2Ef)

115 The Scots keep a huge pile of rocks on their end.
Posted by: eman at March 31, 2010 10:31 PM (3fzoU)
That's why the Stone of Scone is so important, I think.

Posted by: Edward I at March 31, 2010 10:34 PM (QKKT0)

116 Samoan law forbids more than two excess fat dudes on one side of the island any time.

Posted by: eman at March 31, 2010 10:35 PM (3fzoU)

117 Idiocracy!!!!!

Posted by: unknown jane at March 31, 2010 10:35 PM (5/yRG)

118 I thought 25 was an age limit?

Posted by: Dave in Texas at March 31, 2010 10:36 PM (Wh0W+)

119 Hush you racists! No science folk have said this ain't true, and they know because they put that American flag on Mars

Posted by: Sheila Jackson Lee at March 31, 2010 10:36 PM (sYxEE)

120 @ 106 While all you racists are yukking it up, I hope you noticed that Adm.
Willard was curiously reluctant to provide any evidence that Guam
wouldn't tip over.

See, that there exemplifies the notion that the best comedy always has a morsel of truth contained therein: There are lefties who actually employ that very type of thinking. And have the plums to call themselves the "reality-based community," no less.

Posted by: Vile Roman at March 31, 2010 10:36 PM (iBzKc)

121 I don't get it...he's talking about a lot of people...and then there's the sharks out there you know...

Posted by: John lewis at March 31, 2010 10:37 PM (Dq9BS)

122 holy sheep crap batman us congresscritters are dumb as rocks.whodathunkit

Posted by: w at March 31, 2010 10:38 PM (yxWkt)

123 I thought 25 was an age limit?

Hahahaha. If they have to have a speed limit IQ, can we at least get out of residential zones.

Posted by: Andy at March 31, 2010 10:38 PM (82Zkd)

124 OMFG.

Thank God he's not on our side. We have enough problems with the idiots we do have.

This ought to be shoved in every lefty's face: "SEE? THIS guy agrees with YOU."

Posted by: grognard at March 31, 2010 10:38 PM (Ep0Rz)

125 This really isn't any dumber than people thinking if ice in the ocean melts, it will raise the sea level. If this were true, every time ice cubes melted in your coke, the cup would overflow. Ice, because it has air trapped inside, actually takes up MORE space than the water it displaces. So if all the ice in the world melted, the sea level would actually go down a little. But try explaining this to a liberal and watch him go into a blind rage of baby talk. This Johnson fellow is in good company.

Posted by: Matt at March 31, 2010 10:38 PM (J3jFV)

126 @ 125 I don't get it...he's talking about a lot of people...and then there's
the sharks out there you know...

. . . and then it's turtles all the way down.

Posted by: Vile Roman at March 31, 2010 10:38 PM (iBzKc)

127 Oh, dear Jeebus! What about those poor people at the Onion? Now we know why the comedians couldn't make fun of the Obama administration. THEY WERE TRYING TO WARN US!

The MSM needs to quickly run another story about how Dan Quayle couldn't spell 'Potato'

Posted by: Sharrukin at March 31, 2010 10:39 PM (593B8)

128 What. The. Fuck.

Seriously, there is no god damn way an adult in this society is THAT f'n stupid. I refuse to believe that our school systems are THAT bad.

He is
1) Either joking, although it sure didn't look like it
2) Retarded, and was elected out of pity (what's that say of his consituents?)
3) Getting alzheimers/going senile.

There just has to be a reasonable explanation or all hope is lost.

Why are we wasting this Admiral's time with this shit? 'How many square miles?' Who the hell cares?

I don't know how the good Admiral didn't laugh in this clown's face and just get up and leave. I can only assume he's so used to dealing with dumbasses like this that he just goes on autopilot.

Posted by: blindside at March 31, 2010 10:39 PM (giEbw)

129 Now that's funny right there. I don't care who you are.

Posted by: Sphynx at March 31, 2010 10:39 PM (6QirU)

130 Dude. I mean...dude. The country's fucked.

Posted by: Dude at March 31, 2010 10:39 PM (TmzDu)

131 Because the racist Admiral Willard refused to truthfully address Rep Henry Jackson's concerns over Guam's capsizing, he is tonight's WORST RACIST IN THE WORLD!!!

Islands can tip over, I learned that at CORNELL, and I'm smarter than you

Posted by: Keith Olbermann at March 31, 2010 10:40 PM (sYxEE)

132 My bong is empty and I want some o' dat sheeiiit. My man is toastaaay.

Posted by: Hussein the Plumber at March 31, 2010 10:40 PM (r1h5M)

133 Oh course the island would tip over. The science is settled. No, you can't see my data. You'd only use it to criticize me.

Posted by: Phil Jones at March 31, 2010 10:40 PM (ucq49)

134 Jesus...I didn't think anyone could beat Sheila Jasckson Lee for stupidity...on a visit to the Nasa Houston control center...she asked if they could maneuver the Mars rover so that it could capture a picture of the flag planted by Apollo 11..
hey..let's not forget this classic from Corrine Brown, D-FL
We are truly fucked...no wonder the healthcare bill passed

Posted by: beedubya at March 31, 2010 10:40 PM (AnTyA)

135 130,

Actually, the air in ice is not important. Ice, because of the way the molecules pack together in an ice crystal, is less dense than liquid water.

Posted by: eman at March 31, 2010 10:40 PM (3fzoU)

136 Yeah, I give major props to the Admiral for not laughing his ass off at the dumbshit in front of him. I sure as hell can't remain professional in the face of utter stupidity.

Posted by: Dude at March 31, 2010 10:40 PM (TmzDu)

137 O/T: Is this an April Fool's joke?: "Were sorry. That page cant be found and may have moved.", the response you get when you click on Israel. Pamela at Atlas shrugs is all upset: "US
State Dept: Israel "can't be found and may have moved"

Posted by: curious at March 31, 2010 10:41 PM (p302b)

138 Islands have tipped over, GOOGLE IT !!!

Posted by: Rosie O'Donnell, noted scientist at March 31, 2010 10:42 PM (sYxEE)

139 Psyche!!!
I was jus' fuckin' witcha. Shoulda seen y'all's faces

Posted by: Rep. Hank Johnson at March 31, 2010 10:42 PM (AnTyA)

140 Holy fuck, I can Imagine the Admiral sitting around the OC with some of his buddies after that interview.

Posted by: robtr at March 31, 2010 10:42 PM (fwSHf)

141 "Furthermore, Admiral, you say there are 125,000 people living on Guam but it is only about 20 miles long? 125,000 is way more than 20, isn't it? Are people going to have to stand on each others heads, or live in boats?"
--this idiot

Posted by: Randy at March 31, 2010 10:42 PM (4g0OL)

142 Gilligan!

Posted by: eman at March 31, 2010 10:43 PM (3fzoU)

143 Ice, because it has air trapped inside, actually takes up MORE space
than the water it displaces.

No, it's because when water freezes and crystallizes, it takes up more volume due to the bonds that are formed. This is not enough room for air molecules. But your observation of ice cubes is correct.

Posted by: AmishDude at March 31, 2010 10:44 PM (Vo2Ef)

144 I'm noting all the chuckling at those laughing here, assuming that because Jackson is black that it was a stupid question

I'll be timing how long Ace leaves this racist post up

Posted by: Matthew Yglesias at March 31, 2010 10:45 PM (sYxEE)

145 Adm Walker, I'd knidly like you to show a little respect. Call me Representative or Babs, I don't care. I've worked hard for my position.

Posted by: Rep. Hank Johnson at March 31, 2010 10:45 PM (ucq49)

146 chique d'afrique (the African chick formerly known as african chick)

Love your new handle...!

Posted by: Cheri at March 31, 2010 10:45 PM (llSaz)

147 I'd really like to know what was going on in the Admirals head at the time...

Posted by: shibumi at March 31, 2010 10:46 PM (OKZrE)

148 The sad thing is that I'm willing to bet that if you were to ask a sampled grouping of recent public school graduates to watch the video and pick out what was erroneous within the context of the discussion, many or most wouldn't have a clue.

Posted by: Soap MacTavish at March 31, 2010 10:46 PM (554T5)

149 -Excessive use of the office microwave will cause "the oxygen in the oven to interact with the atmosphere, making it overheat and burn away." -- shhh, I have already heard greenies talking about how global warming could be caused by all of the radio transmissions people make. You know all of the 3W cell transmissions every 2mins for billions of people ....

Posted by: Jean at March 31, 2010 10:46 PM (6Njk9)

150 If the island is "floating" then there would be no threat from Global Warming because it would just float a bit higher in the water as the pole melt.

Posted by: Neo at March 31, 2010 10:48 PM (tE8FB)

151 Hey military guy, don't call him sir, that's disrespectful. You must say Honorable Representative. He spent a long time to earn that title, and it means a lot to him. (Apropos of Barbara Boxer's hissy fit in front of a five-star general.)

Posted by: Matt at March 31, 2010 10:48 PM (J3jFV)

152 Someone must have tried to tell him this might push the island past some "tipping point" ...ecologically. And he couldn't quite grasp the concept ... he just heard "tipping".

But I like the way he speaks so slowly, so all the listeners can understand the deep concepts he is educatin' us all with.

Posted by: bill at March 31, 2010 10:49 PM (x49/7)

153 I'm noting all the chuckling at those laughing here, assuming that because Jackson is black that it was a stupid questionI'll be timing how long Ace leaves this racist post up

Posted by: Matthew Yglesias at March 31, 2010 10:45 PM (sYxEE)
It's a stupid question because it is stupid, and we would be laughing our asses off if he were white as well. We would also be cringing if he were a Republican.

Posted by: Sharrukin at March 31, 2010 10:49 PM (593B8)

154 my boner was in the admirals head

Posted by: w at March 31, 2010 10:49 PM (yxWkt)

155 I don't know how the good Admiral didn't laugh in
this clown's face and just get up and leave. I can only assume he's so
used to dealing with dumbasses like this that he just goes on autopilot.


Posted by: blindside at March 31, 2010 10:39 PM (giEbw)
This moron is on the armed services committee, you can't afford to upset him.

Posted by: fozzy at March 31, 2010 10:50 PM (ccEuN)

156 I think the people of Guam should erect giant head likenesses of Congressman Johnson.

Posted by: Big Fat Meanie at March 31, 2010 10:51 PM (DPM1U)

157
140 beedubya at March 31, 2010 10:40 PM (AnTyA)

She has a Doctor of Education.....
the kids just ain't got a chance

Posted by: maverick muse at March 31, 2010 10:51 PM (H+LJc)

158 I bookmarked that video for the next leftist that tells me how smart liberals are. If fox doesn't play this 24/7 I will be pissed.

Posted by: robtr at March 31, 2010 10:52 PM (fwSHf)

159 This moron is on the armed services committee, you can't afford to upset
him.
Shit. I hope someone bothered to tell him Japan surrendered.

Posted by: Soap MacTavish at March 31, 2010 10:52 PM (554T5)

160 126 Wrong! Everyone knows that Guam is tied down by strands of fettucine, supplied by the Flying Spaghetti Monster.Hence the importance of notputting too many people on it and overstressing the strands beyond maximum fettucine force/load capacity.Shows how much you know about science, jeesh.

Posted by: unknown jane at March 31, 2010 10:52 PM (5/yRG)

161 154
The sad thing is that I'm willing to bet that if you were to ask a
sampled grouping of recent public law school graduates to watch the video
and pick out what was erroneous within the context of the discussion,
many or most wouldn't have a clue.

Have I mentioned that he has a postgraduate degree in law?

I'm sure I mentioned it.

Posted by: AmishDude at March 31, 2010 10:52 PM (Vo2Ef)

162 i wonder does the admiral need a tickle

Posted by: w at March 31, 2010 10:53 PM (yxWkt)

163 Jesus...let's just hope Michael Moore never has to land there on a stopover

Posted by: beedubya at March 31, 2010 10:53 PM (AnTyA)

164 Man, we missed our big chance to tell him that Antarctica is a island, and if we use all our carriers, we can tow it up next to NY and global warming would go away. His answer would be " Good idea, but global warming cannot go away by doing something like this. Obama told me this: and he is The Democratic god.

Posted by: mystry at March 31, 2010 10:53 PM (kmgIE)

165 Hank on Crank.
The admiral rubbed his eye so he wouldn't bust out laughing like Harvey Korman.

Posted by: 48%er at March 31, 2010 10:53 PM (gxpfq)

166 I like the reflexive use of the word "environment", as if that is some sort of conversation stopper.

Posted by: rawmuse at March 31, 2010 10:54 PM (AMis9)

167 Don't rock the island!

If the island's a-rockin', don't come a-knockin'.

Posted by: Island of Guam at March 31, 2010 10:54 PM (zwX4C)

168 would the earth axis tilt and
eliminate the seasons?

The axis of level.

Posted by: andycanuck at March 31, 2010 10:55 PM (KdA1d)

169 Jesus...let's just hope Michael Moore never has to land there on a
stopover

Not a problem. He could eat the chunk of the island that was under-distributed.

Posted by: Soap MacTavish at March 31, 2010 10:55 PM (554T5)

170 Hey Matthew Yglesias,
How'd that Obama couldn't sell watermelons quote from your Daddy go over? Send us a copy of your article condemning it.
What?

Posted by: MDr VB1.0 CS1st at March 31, 2010 10:55 PM (ucq49)

171 She has a Doctor of Education.....

So does Bill Ayers.

Posted by: AmishDude at March 31, 2010 10:55 PM (Vo2Ef)

172 God damn it. No matter when I get on this motherfucking site, there's already hundred and fifty fucking posts already on it.

Someguy needs to give you all a simultaneous blow job so I can have some quality time with the comments, and respond to Hank Johnson and his fears in a proper fucking manner.

BTW, you think Rep. Johnson has bed bugs? He seems kind of itchy and jumpy.

Fuck you bunch of fucking slowass fucking conservative wannabees. Why you giving air time to this jive ass shit fuck? You're punching down. I'm gonna punch you all out and tip you over, motherfuckers.

Posted by: Randall Hoven at March 31, 2010 10:56 PM (2AT/X)

173 On second thought, if it tips over everyone could just live on the other side.

Unless it sinks.

Admiral, is Guam going to float or sink after it tips over?

Posted by: Hank Johnson at March 31, 2010 10:56 PM (82Zkd)

174 No wonder this country is in the tank.
Too many morons in charge.

Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

Case in point: Congress.
I rest my case.

Posted by: 1idvet at March 31, 2010 10:56 PM (iMyIW)

175 The guy takes a full minute to say "Guam is small". A full fucking minute.

Posted by: Waterhouse at March 31, 2010 10:56 PM (zwX4C)

176 Why don't we just tow Guam a little closer to our shores, so we don't have American troops stationed over the international date line. Guam could be moved offshore of Milwaukee.

Posted by: Big Fat Meanie at March 31, 2010 10:56 PM (DPM1U)

177 Democrats are smart! RethugliKKKans are Teh Stoopid!!111!

Posted by: Little Green Ergastalarian Honestly Cloudy Painful Stool at March 31, 2010 10:57 PM (IoUF1)

178 Well yeah it could unless we use Henry Waxmans nose as a kind of dual wind sock sail to keep the island upright. EWWWW who the fuck voted for that pig faced weirdo.

Posted by: Krazy Kat at March 31, 2010 10:57 PM (68tQb)

179 Combining Sheila Jackson Lee's asking NASA about the American flag on Mars and Hank Johnson asking about Guam tipping over, both of these liberal assholes are in a dead heat for the Ace of Spades "Stupidest Hump of the Decade" award.

Posted by: Fish at March 31, 2010 10:57 PM (M5t+h)

180 WOW! I don't think I have EVER been that stoned speaking in publicand I spent most of my life from age 14 on stoned on drugs, especially heroin!

Posted by: LENNY BRUCE at March 31, 2010 10:58 PM (Y/88O)

181 Seriously, I think that this rep is heavily medicated whether for actual illness or abuse of a substance.

In high school we used to sit around and talk like this after some mighty powerful bong loads.

Posted by: Cheri at March 31, 2010 10:58 PM (llSaz)

182 Just once, can't a witness say, "stop wasting my time you fucking imbecile!"

Posted by: real joe at March 31, 2010 10:58 PM (WjerO)

183 Is tipping Guam a childish prank the same as tipping cows?

Posted by: Fish at March 31, 2010 10:59 PM (M5t+h)

184 and then it's turtles all the way down.
OMG the Navy is trying to tip the TURTLES!!1!

Posted by: Mama AJ at March 31, 2010 10:59 PM (XdlcF)

185 Never happen. Guam is where we buried all the convicts we massacred during Katrina. So as to build up a foundation...

Posted by: evil midnight bomber what bombs at midnight at March 31, 2010 10:59 PM (hCQG5)

186 Are we positive he wasn't kidding? Is it possible to be that fucking stupid?

Posted by: ol_dirty_/b/tard at March 31, 2010 10:59 PM (IoUF1)

187 The sad thing is that I'm willing to bet that if you were to ask a sampled grouping of recent public school graduates to watch the video and pick out what was erroneous within the context of the discussion, many or most wouldn't have a clue.
Oh, oh, is it because he called him "Ma'am"?

Posted by: Recent Public School Grad. at March 31, 2010 11:00 PM (XdlcF)

188 Do we give admirals and staff hazard pay? 'Cause that's some of the most dangerous stupid ever recorded.

Ho. Lee. Crap!

And a lawyer to boot? That is truly remarkable. Don't his schools just have to revoke his degrees? I mean, how do you, as an educational institution, survive with this idiot as an alum? And how does a nation survive with a Mensa like this?

Seriously, we're doomed.


Posted by: AnonymousDrivel at March 31, 2010 11:01 PM (swuwV)

189 dont worry youll pay for the headshrinker

Posted by: w at March 31, 2010 11:01 PM (yxWkt)

190 189
Just once, can't a witness say, "stop wasting my time you fucking
imbecile!"

I've always thought it would be effective to say, with a great degree of sympathy, "I realize that you're incredibly stupid, but..."

Posted by: AmishDude at March 31, 2010 11:01 PM (Vo2Ef)

191 I bet that every Democrat who voted forhim would saythat the republicans are making fun of him for no reason. EVERYONE knows that this is true. Why are they picking on this fine gentleman?

Posted by: mystry at March 31, 2010 11:01 PM (kmgIE)

192 Never happen. Guam is where we buried all the convicts we massacred
during Katrina. So as to build up a foundation...

And don't forget, we also buried the 9/11 WTC/Pentagon evidence there, as well. Oh, and the Iraq WMDs.

Posted by: Soap MacTavish at March 31, 2010 11:02 PM (554T5)

193 I think Rep. Hank Johnson is doing a wonderful. Given the terrible conditions he inherited, from the previous administration. He never promised it would be easy. Or that he could spell "cat" if you spotted him the "c" and the "a".
Ed comment: Gubmintin' is hard work

Posted by: Ellie Light at March 31, 2010 11:02 PM (ucq49)

194 This has to be a joke/

Posted by: curious at March 31, 2010 11:02 PM (p302b)

195 OT, anyone see Palin's post over at The Corner tonight?
Stall, Baby, Stall
Many Americans fear that President Obamas new energy proposal is once again all talk and no real action, this time in an effort to shore up fading support for the Democrats job-killing cap-and-trade (a.k.a. cap-and-tax) proposals. Behind the rhetoric lie new drilling bans and leasing delays; soon to follow are burdensome new environmental regulations.Instead of drill, baby, drill, the more you lookinto this the more you realize its stall, baby, stall........

Posted by: Cromagnum at March 31, 2010 11:02 PM (UGrme)

196 Guam is supported by turtles.

All the way down.

Posted by: AmishDude at March 31, 2010 11:02 PM (Vo2Ef)

197 That. Has. Got. To. Be. A. Joke.

Posted by: dogfish at March 31, 2010 11:03 PM (sGaoh)

198 Why should he be allowed to vote on matters of economic policy and
national security, questioning a high-ranking military official, if
he's mentally unstable?



Suddenly this is a bad thing?

Posted by: Barack The Wise, First Emperor of Multicultura at March 31, 2010 11:03 PM (2PTT7)

199 Obviously the war on drugs is NOT working. Damn! I've been that wasted - how come I didn't get elected to congress?

Posted by: akvusneh at March 31, 2010 11:03 PM (+S22b)

200 its all george b clintons fault

Posted by: w at March 31, 2010 11:04 PM (yxWkt)

201 It's a trap!

Posted by: Admiral Ackbar's Inner Monologue at March 31, 2010 11:04 PM (DPM1U)

202 #106 That's because they are using Area 51 technology to keep it stable so he can't say anything. I know this is true because my pudding cup told me so.

Posted by: instinct at March 31, 2010 11:04 PM (TIbRS)

203 This man replaced Cynthia McKinney. Seriously.

That district in Georgia needs to do some very deep soul searching in order to discover their own needs for a congressional representative. Because they're either ok with Cynthia and her crap or they're ok with this guy who thinks an island can be tipped over.....

Please, my neighbors to the south. Think a bit more carefullly.

Posted by: Intrepid at March 31, 2010 11:04 PM (92zkk)

204 Admiral Willard desrves a fucking medal for being able to keep his composure..I'd have been under the desk laughing my fucking ass off

Posted by: beedubya at March 31, 2010 11:05 PM (AnTyA)

205 Rep. Hank Johnson is RIGHT!!!

Revrund!!!

Posted by: Charles "Gabby" Johnson at March 31, 2010 11:05 PM (sYxEE)

206
193Are we positive he wasn't kidding? Is it possible to be that fucking stupid?


It isn't only possible, it's preferable.

Posted by: Nancy Pelosi at March 31, 2010 11:05 PM (gLSaO)

207 Ok, where's the candid camera?

Posted by: Admiral Robert Willard at March 31, 2010 11:06 PM (sGaoh)

208 So if this goes with the Letterman post, are this guy and and McKinney sending signals that they are like their constituents.

Posted by: AmishDude at March 31, 2010 11:06 PM (Vo2Ef)

209 No congressman-At its "thinnest point" the island is not 7 miles across. Its not any distance "across"-it's a freaking POINT!

Posted by: dlsada at March 31, 2010 11:06 PM (lDtRP)

210 His website.
There is actually a link to "Hank's greatest hits"

Posted by: curious at March 31, 2010 11:07 PM (p302b)

211 i know that district is lower than low jimmy carter doesnt smile bout that place

Posted by: w at March 31, 2010 11:07 PM (yxWkt)

212 Err..umm...ahh..is Guam...ummm...ahhh..the 56th...ummm...err...ahh or 57th...ummm state?

Posted by: Preznit Toonces at March 31, 2010 11:07 PM (AnTyA)

213 I'm calling bullshit. Not thatI want to, but I've watched this video numerous times and I refuse to believe an adult can be this stupid.
Sure, a wtfresponse would have been rich. But Willards dry delivery, in my opinion, is really the punchline.

Posted by: dirk_steed at March 31, 2010 11:07 PM (TxMeq)

214 I can't wait until the CEOs of Boeing, ATT, et al, try to explainFASB requirements to this crew.They should distractthem byteaching them how to make BOOBS appear on their calculators.

Posted by: Big Fat Meanie at March 31, 2010 11:07 PM (DPM1U)

215 200
I bet that every Democrat who voted forhim would saythat the
republicans are making fun of him for no reason. EVERYONE knows that
this is true. Why are they picking on this fine gentleman?

No, they wouldn't say that. They'd say they're making fun of him because they're a bunch of racists

Posted by: kbdabear at March 31, 2010 11:08 PM (sYxEE)

216 We don't think this dude is all that bright.

Posted by: boxes of rocks and bags of hammers at March 31, 2010 11:09 PM (554T5)

217 yes

Posted by: w at March 31, 2010 11:09 PM (yxWkt)

218 Adm Willard:
Rep Walker could I help you.
No sir, I just realized you were having a hard time reading from your prepared notes.
If I may sir, I'll use my finger to keep your place on the page, while your's keeps nose-diving.
Not at all, sir. And you might want to get the spittle off your chin too.

Posted by: Ellie Light at March 31, 2010 11:09 PM (ucq49)

219 You know, there are a lot of mediocre judges and people and lawyers. They are
entitled to a little representation, aren't they, and a little chance? And the batshit crazy, and the certifiably insane? Who speaks for them? Also, the dumb as a box of retarded rocks? Shall we deny them representation? I think this needs further study.

Posted by: Roman Hruska 2.0 at March 31, 2010 11:09 PM (2PTT7)

220 Now that was a total sock failure. Ellie, you ignorant slut.

Posted by: MDr VB1.0 CS1st at March 31, 2010 11:10 PM (ucq49)

221 Just tried to send this stupid fuck an email and this is the response.
Can not open /notfound.htm
Your request could not be processed because of the above error. Nothing has been saved. Please notify the manager of this web site that a problem was encountered.
If no web site manager information is available for this site, please use the Web Comments form for the US House of Representatives to report the error. Please be sure to include as much information as possible (such as the Location/Address of the web page being used when the error occurred) so that steps can be taken to resolve the issue.
Thank you.

Posted by: Fish at March 31, 2010 11:10 PM (M5t+h)

222 They have a lot of resources available to them if they want research and they have acess to experts. Who is going to refuse to explain anything to a congressman? So there is no excuse for not being prepared properly. Heck Rush Linbaugh admitted on air that he wasn't a numbers guy so he hired one to ferret through all the math in the bills. He knew enough to go to an expert for the answer.

Posted by: curious at March 31, 2010 11:10 PM (p302b)

223 Admiral: Congressman, I can't go into specifics, but the United States Military has very advanced anti-tipping technology at its disposal.

Posted by: eman at March 31, 2010 11:10 PM (3fzoU)

224 I think the next timeAdmiral Robert Willard finds himself in this sirtuation he shouldlet General Honore reply.

Posted by: Naan at March 31, 2010 11:10 PM (j5MTj)

225 ...his "biggest fear" is that the influx of people to the island would
cause it to "tip over and capsize."
This is an April Fool's joke, right?

Posted by: Blacque Jacques Shellacque at March 31, 2010 11:11 PM (Q75cY)

226 In law school they would refer to such an assertion as "an abundance of caution." That reminds mewhy I hate lawyers. Oh, I forgot, I am a lawyer. OK, that reminds me why I hate myself.

Posted by: dlsada at March 31, 2010 11:11 PM (lDtRP)

227 Just went to the House website to make sure that some one wasn't so clever as to invent a phony representative and there it is....

Posted by: curious at March 31, 2010 11:13 PM (p302b)

228 April Fools or genuine, the joke is on us.

Posted by: eman at March 31, 2010 11:13 PM (3fzoU)

229 I am informed that the limit for tipping is usually 15% or so. 20% if you get really good service. I would like that entered into the record.

Posted by: The Honorable Hank Johnson, D-Flatline EEG at March 31, 2010 11:14 PM (2PTT7)

230 Even Paris Hilton doesn't believe Guam would tip over from escess people, and her PhD is in "Cooter for Dummies."

Posted by: Fish at March 31, 2010 11:16 PM (M5t+h)

231 Congressman, we have top men working on anti-tipping technology right now. Top men.
But it will require a slight increase in our discretionary budget due to unforeseen disturbances in nano-techtonophysics caused by the atom smasher experiment at the Large Hardon Collider.

Posted by: Big Fat Meanie at March 31, 2010 11:16 PM (DPM1U)

232 If I were this man, shame would compel me to go off in to the forest, naked, and pray to be eaten by badgers.

Posted by: rawmuse at March 31, 2010 11:16 PM (AMis9)

233 Ok, so the guy does have Hep C:

Maybe he is heavily medicated, but that begs the question: Why is someone who's mental acuity is CLEARLY lacking still in Congress, and, worse, on the Armed Forces Committee?

This guy, it appears, is incapable of reliably processing information; how can you be certain he is making an informed decision?

I'm at least glad to know that there is some sort of reasonable explanation and it isn't flat out ignorance.

Posted by: blindside at March 31, 2010 11:16 PM (giEbw)

234 When I walked into Congress today, I was spat upon by racist tea-baggers. Or the lawn sprinkler system, I'm not quite sure. I believe this requires further study. Thank you.

Posted by: The Honorable Hank Johnson, D-Flatline EEG at March 31, 2010 11:17 PM (2PTT7)

235 "Admiral: Congressman, I can't go into specifics, but the United States Military has very advanced anti-tipping technology at its disposal."
Same principle as the earthquake machine the racist crackers used on Haiti.

Posted by: Samuel L Jackson at March 31, 2010 11:17 PM (ucq49)

236 Watch the video after Johnson's question. The staffer in the back just texted all his friends.
Ths dmfk wntd 2 no if Guam wld tip over. LOL.

Posted by: huerfano at March 31, 2010 11:18 PM (gLSaO)

237 This story will grow legs, and Representatives Hank Johnson will be revered in the black community for standing up to the man and telling it like it is.

Posted by: Fish at March 31, 2010 11:18 PM (M5t+h)

238 What I would like to know, Admiral, is all this personnel on Guam. How do they get it off of their shoes? This is a question I have pondered much.

Posted by: The Honorable Hank Johnson, D-Flatline EEG at March 31, 2010 11:18 PM (2PTT7)

239 General Willard...you just got punk'd!!
Married??
..my wife has a younger sister she could fix you up with. She may have a few years on you, but her plastic tits still look good

Posted by: Ashton Kutcher at March 31, 2010 11:19 PM (AnTyA)

240 Who was the Repub that lost to this guy?

Posted by: jamie at March 31, 2010 11:19 PM (CTJDC)

241
"Prior to his election to Congress, Rep. Johnson served twelve (12)
years as a DeKalb County magistrate judge, five (5) years as a county
commissioner and three (3) years as chair of the DeKalb County Budget
Committee.
Rep. Johnson practiced civil and criminal law in
DeKalb County for twenty-seven (27) years.A staunch supporter of public
education, he is a graduate of the District of Columbia Public
Schools, Clark College in Atlanta and the Thurgood Marshall School of
Law at Texas Southern University. Rep. Johnson is married to Attorney
Mereda Davis Johnson and has two children.
Georgia's 4th
Congressional District includes portions of DeKalb, Rockdale and
Gwinnett counties in the eastern suburbs of Atlanta."

Posted by: curious at March 31, 2010 11:19 PM (p302b)

242 Think he might be related to the Detroit Board of Education guy?

Posted by: beedubya at March 31, 2010 11:21 PM (AnTyA)

243 "...and has two children."
Pet rocks?

Posted by: MDr VB1.0 CS1st at March 31, 2010 11:24 PM (ucq49)

244 Posted by: Cromagnum at March 31, 2010 11:02 PM (UGrme)
Saw it. Reuters is saying that energy is going to be the focus of her speech at the SRLC. Good opportunity for her to be wonkish.
Also, she just told the RNC to go pound sand.

Posted by: ol_dirty_/b/tard at March 31, 2010 11:24 PM (IoUF1)

245 Sarah calls it like it is, takes Obamas silly Chicago game, turns it into a slogan, and turns him back into the bufoon
The ball is back in Obamas court, does he have a better swing?
Stall . yeah, its like a place where a horse goes . where the policies of Socialism belong, right next to the large pile of steaming manure.

Posted by: Cromagnum at March 31, 2010 11:24 PM (UGrme)

246 I swear I just saw him on CMT the other night. I just caught the end of the show. You know, the part where he looks at the camera and says, "My name is Hank Johnson, and I am NOT smarter than a fifth grader!

Posted by: Bill R. at March 31, 2010 11:24 PM (EhlQq)

247 I want to see a picture of the Congressman's Delorean.

Posted by: eman at March 31, 2010 11:25 PM (3fzoU)

248 Cynthia McKinney, move over. Someone is taking your place at the bottom.

Posted by: Nemo from Erewhon at March 31, 2010 11:25 PM (5mWrT)

249 Who was the Repub that lost to this guy?
Some Jewish cracka from out of town.

I always felt Hank Johnson had more in common with the voters in this district. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go water my Astroturf lawn.

Posted by: Typical 4th District voter at March 31, 2010 11:26 PM (2PTT7)

250 191

I like Turtles!

Posted by: zombie kid at March 31, 2010 11:26 PM (AJreE)

251 205 And if the island tips over, we lash all the sea turtles together using rope made from Guamian male (or female) back hair to make an escape raft. Problem solved!

Posted by: unknown jane at March 31, 2010 11:27 PM (5/yRG)

252 Laugh all you want but this is exactly what happened to Atlantis. They added 8,000 more people and then some global warming hit and the next thing you know old Atlantis capsized right into the stuff of legends. Hank Johnson is uhhh..uhh..uhhh... a you know from side to side real man of genius

Posted by: TheQuietMan at March 31, 2010 11:29 PM (Gpi9J)

253 ...we lash all the sea turtles together using rope made from Guamian male (or female) back hair to make an escape raft. Problem solved!
Posted by: unknown jane at March 31, 2010 11:27 PM (5/yRG)
Really, that is much harder than it sounds. Much harder.

Posted by: Jim in San Diego at March 31, 2010 11:29 PM (F09Uo)

254 The republican running against Hank is http://www.lizcarterforcongress.com/ Liz Carter and her theme is "Let's Yank Hank"

Just an fyi

Posted by: Capsized Guam Oh My at March 31, 2010 11:30 PM (Glxw+)

255 OMG! This man really is as dumb as a sack of hammers!

Posted by: So Cal Jim at March 31, 2010 11:32 PM (frIH8)

256 It could happen. We have to send Henry Waxman's huge nostrils to Guam to balance it out.

It's science and shit. I've looked it up.

Posted by: mpfs at March 31, 2010 11:32 PM (QuP9W)

257 143
O/T: Is this an April Fool's joke?: "Were sorry. That page cant be found
and may have moved.", the response you get when you click on
Israel. Pamela at Atlas shrugs is all upset: "US
State Dept: Israel "can't be found and may have moved"

Posted by: curious
That's because the link is:http://www.state.gov/p/nea/ci/is/index.htmThe A-Z page just has the wrong link. It reads '/israel' instead of '/is.'

Posted by: Plum Guile at March 31, 2010 11:33 PM (w8ddH)

258 Also, she just told the RNC to go pound sand.
"The invitation promises that other Republican superstars will attend the fundraiser, but does not say who those might be."
I'll bet someguy is one of them.

Posted by: MDr VB1.0 CS1st at March 31, 2010 11:34 PM (ucq49)

259 OMFG

Posted by: Rollory at March 31, 2010 11:35 PM (bRTTM)

260 OT:
See this if you have not, and send it to everyone you know:
Rev. Wayne Perryman, on race and the teaching of history in America, or rather, the lack thereof.
(Flopping Aces)
http://tinyurl.com/yhf95cc

Posted by: Taqiyyotomist at March 31, 2010 11:36 PM (ltfED)

261 Things I would pay a years salary to see:

This guy say that to the late Adm. Hyman Rickover.

Someone get me the zombie people on the phone.

Posted by: Circa (Insert Year Here) at March 31, 2010 11:37 PM (nC+4h)

262 "Least widest"? It's OK to use the "N" word.

NARROW!

Posted by: Tom at March 31, 2010 11:38 PM (cbdGi)

263 Jesus fucking christ on a crutch, I swear to god I have now witnessed everything there is to see and hear.

I have no reason to live anymore......

LIZBETH!!!!!!!!! I'm comin home babe!!!!!!!!

Posted by: Leatherneck at March 31, 2010 11:38 PM (40yOy)

264 And let's be clear:

That Sarah Palin is sure stupid, huh?

Posted by: Circa (Insert Year Here) at March 31, 2010 11:39 PM (nC+4h)

265 Dude, it could happen.
It could fuckin' HAPPEN, man.

Posted by: km at March 31, 2010 11:40 PM (ec11r)

266 Remember, for every dumb Democrat fuckhead like this , there are tens of thousands who think like him, and vote correspondingly. I propose that no one who :
A. Quits or doesnt start high school
B. Has a felonious criminal record
C. Does not pay taxes, and is able to work.(People who have not worked a job for a year or more)
D. Is below the age of 50 and draws "disability" for nerves, alcoholism, or mental issues.
E. Has more than one child with no job and no husband(or wife)
Should be allowed to fucking vote and screw the rest of us. I am tired of carrying these sons of bitches on my payroll check. Either get motivated, or die. My compassion well for lazy bastards is officially empty. Get fucked, you drags on society.

Posted by: The Drizzle at March 31, 2010 11:41 PM (DZgJg)

267

I'll bet someguy is one of them.

Posted by: MDr VB1.0 CS1st at March 31, 2010 11:34 PM (ucq49)
YOU'RE FUCKIN' RIGHT I'M ONE OF 'EM MOTHERFUCKER!!!1111!!!I'M THE REASON PALIN AIN'T ATTENDING!!111!!! SHE'S KNOWS I'LL PUNCH HER THE FUCK DOWN IF I SEE HER THERE1!!!1!!!

Posted by: someguy at March 31, 2010 11:42 PM (IoUF1)

268 Holy shit! I thought this was sit down comedy. Nobody could be this stupid. This dude couldn't win a round of jeopardy on the short bus. Who are the fucktards that gave this clown a job?

I am going to go eat myself now.

Posted by: Lunatic Fringe at March 31, 2010 11:43 PM (uFdnM)

269 262 So that explains all the stubble on your back and that inconvenient, recurring carpal tunnel.

Posted by: unknown jane at March 31, 2010 11:44 PM (5/yRG)

270 Either he was a day early on April Fool's Day or the Congressional Black Caucus has a new paperweight holding down its IQ chart.

Posted by: mrkwong at March 31, 2010 11:45 PM (G8Eo0)

271 Congressman - thanks for the plug!

Posted by: Least Widest at March 31, 2010 11:46 PM (Qi5EW)

272 This website keeps me sane. The comedic genius of some of the commenters here: Warden, eman to name a few makes life so much easier in this crazy world.

Posted by: Barbarosa at March 31, 2010 11:50 PM (vLwYg)

273 So if I donate one of my livers, it'll get this congressman off teh stupids? It's the leasta citizen can do.

Posted by: Big Fat Meanie at March 31, 2010 11:50 PM (DPM1U)

274 It's very interesting. The big thing the libs stressed with GWB was that he was stupid, according to them. Sure the guy may have been a C student, he made no bones about that, but he had the emotional intelligence to deal with all kinds of people, to find common ground and stick with it. When they rolled out this guy they stressed his intelligence, he was brilliant, yada yada...but, as days go by, more and more regular folks are waiting to see the brilliant. They been waiting and waiting and they aren't seeing the brilliance. They are seeing audacity and some say they are seeing arrogance but no brilliance. So, what do they attack Sarah Palin on? Her intelligence. They try to roll out the same story they did for Bush. So, even though, this Congressman comes off on this tape as appearing less than brilliant maybe people shouldn't focus on the less than brilliant but should focus on the lack of using all the resources at his disposal. These reps and senators in DC have plenty of people around to save them from themselves, to make them look good. Where are his people?

Posted by: curious at March 31, 2010 11:56 PM (p302b)

275 You could show this clip to every single one of his constituents and those fucking retards would still reelect him. They're just that goddamn dumb.

Posted by: RickS at March 31, 2010 11:56 PM (hKB1N)

276 "So if I donate one of my livers, it'll get this congressman off teh stupids? It's the leasta citizen can do. "
Maybe one of your brains too.

Posted by: Rep. Hank Johnson SoS at March 31, 2010 11:56 PM (ucq49)

277 I believe that the possibility of microwave towers attracting intergalactic pumice to Guam's leeward shore, causing a fatal balance should be intensely studied. With a grant of $2,357,236.00. To my second cousin LeRoy. I feel this is very important.

Posted by: The Honorable Hank Johnson's Brain, D-Formaldehyde Filled Jar at March 31, 2010 11:58 PM (2PTT7)

278 I didn't know my eyes could roll that far back in my head.

Posted by: Laura Castellano at April 01, 2010 12:00 AM (fuw6p)

279 Don't laugh at Henry Johnson's concerns. Sometimes I wonder how to keep
Rhode Island from turning turtle on us

Posted by: Joe Biden, Crack Geologist at April 01, 2010 12:00 AM (sYxEE)

280 So, I guess the lesson to be learned from the Poseidon Adventure is that the damn ship would've remained seaworthy if that fat-ass Shelly Winters hadn't gotten on board?

"Guam: We flip over fat chicks" would make a killer tourism slogan.

Posted by: Jack M. at April 01, 2010 12:01 AM (Ncr1R)

281 Holy shit. REALLY? That was like watching a Tim and Eric skit. What THE FUCKOLA?

It might tip over? As in physically shift around it's center of mass due to a weight that breaks equilibrium? REALLY? FUCKING REALLY? 8000 people is possibly enough weight to shift 20 miles x 7-12 miles of rock rooted to the ocean floor by MORE rock and sitting on top of an ocean plate?

Then we wants to try and use THAT shit to bring up global warming as something no one thought of?

I don't know how the hell that admiral didn't just get up, push in his chair and leave and have a pissed off looking lieutenant sit in for him on the rest of that nonsense.

Wow. And that guy SERIOUSLY gets to vote on what becomes laws? And he's better than Cynthia Mckinney? Or is he just a mean as hell 'wise ass' who loves screwing with people just because he can?

Cheez.

Posted by: cackfinger at April 01, 2010 12:01 AM (TUBcJ)

282 pretty sure Representative Johnsonis Cynthia McKinney with a sex change...i've never seen the two together

Posted by: ugly kid joe at April 01, 2010 12:02 AM (mDoQh)

283 It's not Hank's fault! Those evil Indian and Jooooo doctors stole his brain for profits!!!

Posted by: Palin Steele at April 01, 2010 12:03 AM (IoUF1)

284 If the Admiral had yelled,

"Get to the choppah!"

the Congressman would have bolted out the door.

Posted by: eman at April 01, 2010 12:05 AM (3fzoU)

285 Rep. Johnson, allow me to introduce you to the island of Male, Maldives. Please...no...there's no time for small talk. With a land mass of only 1.6 sq km and a population of 80k people, it's bound to go nosedown at any moment so, you know, make it quick.
nimrod.

Posted by: jmflynny at April 01, 2010 12:06 AM (x3ghH)

286 I didn't think it could get better than corpseman

Posted by: Thomas Hooker at April 01, 2010 12:06 AM (W/MMc)

287 I had to link this vid and send it to everyone on my e-mail list, including the known dems.
God above, please make sure Hank remembers to breath out as well as in. We sure would hate to lose an intellect like that.

Posted by: huerfano at April 01, 2010 12:06 AM (gLSaO)

288 Yuke it up racists. This isn't Hank's area of expertise. He is however, one of this country's leading climatologist. I seek his counsel all the time.

Posted by: Al Gore at April 01, 2010 12:07 AM (ucq49)

289 Is this guy related to that Charles Johnson guy you guys are always talking about?

Posted by: curious at April 01, 2010 12:10 AM (p302b)

290 Heck, LBJ and I would go island tipping every Saturday when we were kids. Of course, that was before the Japanese bombed Toyota and sank the Bismark.

Posted by: Sheriff Joe Biden at April 01, 2010 12:13 AM (3fzoU)

291 Hanks Creds.........

Johnson serves on the House Armed Services and Judiciary committees. So leave him alone....

Is A Buddist, one of two in Congress, no word yet on whether he will self immolate......

Johnson is a member of the House Democratic leadership, elected by the
Democratic caucus to serve as whip for Georgia, Alabama,
Mississippi,
and Florida....

No reason given why he feels compelled to whip the nation.....

Johnson serves on judiciary committees....probably because he is a whiz at geometry and he knows where to draw the line on the island....

Johnson replaced Cyntia Mckinney with a pledge that the only difference between the two would be gender....

In 2009, Johnson demanded censure of Rep. Joe Wilson's "you lie" remark, arguing that the
comment had an unseen racial undertone and that, if Wilson was not
formally rebuked, "We will have people with white hoods running through
the countryside again."

March 2010.... Johnson is inducted into the Al Gore memorial museum of Fantastic Hyperboly and Self Aggrandizement, for making statements equivalent to pronouncing that the core temperature of the earth is millons of degrees.




Posted by: Leatherneck at April 01, 2010 12:14 AM (40yOy)

292 This is an April Fool's joke. It had damn well better be.

Posted by: MostlyRight at April 01, 2010 12:18 AM (0aCXd)

293 There are not that fucking many people in this fucking world who can't punch down at some guy.

But this dumb mother fucker has no one to punch down on.

Is there even one fucking political operative in here?

Posted by: DaveyNC at April 01, 2010 12:18 AM (VSHn0)

294 They took him for "whip" over that blonde debbie wasserman?

Posted by: curious at April 01, 2010 12:20 AM (p302b)

295 LauraW said it best, here (SCOTUS/Kelo post):

This cannot be emphasized enough.

The people who run your city, the politicians who are full of bright
ideas for improving your life by infringing on others' rights, and the
black-robed genius who is tasked with interpreting our founding
documents; NONE of these people are smarter than you.

NONE of these people are gifted with superior insight on how better
to run your life or use our native resources. But they believe that
they are. So without the brake of morality or explicit law, these
geniuses and pols and town busybodies will extend professional courtesy
to each other as they go about dismantling your life for some dubious
utopian idea.

Posted by: iamfelix at April 01, 2010 12:20 AM (3OAW4)

296 I'd be willing to bet that after a day of mind-numbing congressional hearings, this would start to sound like a semi-reasonable question.

Johnson expressed similar concerns last year about "too many uninsured tipping over the healthcare system." Hence, ObamaCare legislation.

Posted by: T at April 01, 2010 12:22 AM (XPJUR)

297 From the Hill article by Christina Wilkie:Like other islands, Guam is attached to the sea floor, which makes it extremely unlikely that it will tip over, even if there are lots and lots of people on it.
Thanks for reassuring us all Christina. It's extreeeeeeeeeeeemly unlikely, not to say that it couldn't happen.

Posted by: rockhead at April 01, 2010 12:28 AM (RykTt)

298 Of course, now that I think about it, if the military moves 8000 people to Guam and it DOES tip over and sinks, then I guess I'm going to feel pretty bad about it since I was warned. And I'm probably gonna have to kick my old geology professor's ass too.

Posted by: cackfinger at April 01, 2010 12:32 AM (TUBcJ)

299 I think that he's friggin stoned. I got afriend that sounds EXACTLY like that when he is high. Forgetting words, babbling on incoherently and makin shit up. Johnson and SanFranNan have been hanging out in the Haight, gettin some of that high-grade "medicinal"
It must have taken every single fiber of the Admiral's many years of military discipline to keep himself from busting out laughing and saying WHAT THE FUCK? Life must be hell for him. Can you imaging working for George W Bush, who has tremendous respect for the military one day and literally the next working for Obama?

Posted by: Max Entropy at April 01, 2010 12:34 AM (7FgWm)

300 It is like I'm living in a world created by Terry Pratchett.

Posted by: Rat Patrol at April 01, 2010 12:37 AM (dQdrY)

301 OMG! He was right! We torqued Guam! What a dreadful moment! Oh the humanity!

Posted by: cackfinger at April 01, 2010 12:38 AM (TUBcJ)

302
-Drilling in the Alaskan National Wildlife Refuge will mean "heavy drilling equipment will cause the poles to shift and Kansas City will end up as the new North Pole"
OK, now THAT seals it. I live right outside of Kansas City, and I fucking HATE the cold. I like to think it has to do with spending half of three winters in a row in the mid 90s on a US Navy ship galavanting around the Carribbean chasing drug runners and coming back for Christmas with a killer steel-beach tan, but that's just me.
Unless these folks are going to conceed that Independence, right outside of Kansas City, is going to be near the new equator, I opt myself off this carnival ride.

Posted by: JamesLee at April 01, 2010 12:44 AM (AOpSj)

303 Johnson is a member of the House Democratic leadership, elected by the Democratic caucus to serve as whip for Georgia, Alabama, Mississippi, and Florida....No reason given why he feels compelled to whip the nation.....

Reparations aren't just about money you cracka mofos.

Posted by: Congressman Hank Johnson at April 01, 2010 12:44 AM (gLSaO)

304 Check out his facebook page, become a fan, and bring some popcorn.

Posted by: Cromagnum at April 01, 2010 12:49 AM (UGrme)

305 In the year 400 AD a Roman Senator asked a Roman general a similar question about "Sicily crashing into Gaul".

Posted by: eman at April 01, 2010 12:49 AM (3fzoU)

306 The really horrifying thing is, to this Creature's constituents, he's a fucking Genius. THAT's why they voted for him. IYKWIMAITYD.

Posted by: Beverly at April 01, 2010 12:54 AM (72FId)

307 Ok, maybe the hep C and the drugs make him a little off, but he can't find the term "wide". "Its 7 miles across at its level". Does he have a high security clearance?

I suspect russia and china will probably attack any day now.

Posted by: Guy Fawkes at April 01, 2010 12:54 AM (7VvJB)

308 He's on the House Armed Services committee. I'd be worried about more than just his security clearance.

Posted by: Bomber at April 01, 2010 12:55 AM (d88g9)

309 Its guys like Hank Johnson that keep me in business. Thanks for the dedication.

Posted by: Plantation at April 01, 2010 12:56 AM (UGrme)

310 And all this time I thought the polls showing Congress at 18 was referring to their approval rating, uh...now I'm thinking it's IQ.

Posted by: We're F'd at April 01, 2010 12:56 AM (pq986)

311 Wow, that's the most articulate and lengthy spam I've ever seen.

Posted by: wherestherum at April 01, 2010 12:58 AM (gofDd)

312 And all this time I thought the polls showing Congress at 18 was
referring to their approval rating, uh...now I'm thinking it's IQ.
That's giving them way too much credit.

Posted by: wherestherum at April 01, 2010 12:59 AM (gofDd)

313 I'm kind of freaked out. I looked up Guam in Google Maps and it's already leaning over pretty far to the right. And right at the tip where it's leaning over the farthest is "Andersen AFB". Put a few more people around that base, and it will fall over for sure. But maybe the military's plan is to move in the extra 8,000 folks around the base of Guam. Put enough weight there and maybe the island won't fall over.

Posted by: pbrown at April 01, 2010 12:59 AM (XIUQZ)

314 This man is wise in the ways of science.

Posted by: King Arthur of Monty Python at April 01, 2010 01:00 AM (YX6i/)

315 That's what I was thinking, I almost want to read all that spam. But not quite.

Posted by: Bomber at April 01, 2010 01:00 AM (d88g9)

316 I'll bet the lace wigs guy is feeling really inadequate about now.

Posted by: davidt at April 01, 2010 01:02 AM (aag4W)

317 You know what's bad about 8,000 Marines on Guam. There's no way the existing strip club infrastructure can support that increase in customer base.

Posted by: Bomber at April 01, 2010 01:02 AM (d88g9)

318 Guam's new motto: If this Island's rockin'...don't come knockin'

Posted by: We're F'd at April 01, 2010 01:05 AM (pq986)

319 God, what if the 8000 marines piss of the island into the ocean? They might yellow up the water! And make it too foamy. What if it smells like beer? We have to do something! No pissing off the island!

Posted by: cackfinger at April 01, 2010 01:05 AM (TUBcJ)

320 That island pissed me off plenty of times.

Posted by: Bomber at April 01, 2010 01:06 AM (d88g9)

321 OMG, the essay spam won't stop!

Posted by: wherestherum at April 01, 2010 01:07 AM (gofDd)

322 Yeah, but do you have a direct neural feed phone? Call me then.

Posted by: Rat Patrol at April 01, 2010 01:08 AM (dQdrY)

323
Can we vote to ban c?

Posted by: Bomber at April 01, 2010 01:08 AM (d88g9)

324 If islands were movable, the jarheads would be the ones to hang a motor on the side.

Posted by: Rat Patrol at April 01, 2010 01:09 AM (dQdrY)

325 Don't go tipping my, don't go tipping my, don't go tipping my isle!

Posted by: SomeGuam at April 01, 2010 01:11 AM (iGCmo)

326 happy moron day!

good grief. I could see it if he were making an attempt at humor. But damn, that was too deadpan to be sarcasm.

Posted by: different troll from #15 at April 01, 2010 01:22 AM (BgD0W)

327 Island tipping . . . why Rosie O'Damn"Donnell should not visit Hawaii.

Posted by: Jade Sea at April 01, 2010 01:27 AM (/aKkc)

328 MO's big ass didn't tip Hawaii.
Did they offload a tank on the other side?

Posted by: Rat Patrol at April 01, 2010 01:28 AM (dQdrY)

329 Wow... I had to verify this video. Go to the Armed Services Committee and select the web-cast for Thursday, March 25, 2010 10:00am 2118 Rayburn Open. At 1 hour 31 minutes Rep Johnson starts the questioning. At 1 hour 36 minutes he ask if the island will tip over.

Posted by: popcorn at April 01, 2010 01:29 AM (HlpHc)

330 I blame the pubic schools. Or his mother dropped him on his head a lot.

Posted by: Rat Patrol at April 01, 2010 01:31 AM (dQdrY)

331 Facebook it. One way to get it viral.

Posted by: Old Texas Turkey at April 01, 2010 01:32 AM (csST0)

332 see, this is why they need to let navy chiefs attend them instead of admirals
i garauntee the answer would have been much different

Posted by: navycopjoe at April 01, 2010 01:38 AM (gg4j2)

333 See, told ya we didn't have enough money!

Posted by: Teachers Union at April 01, 2010 01:44 AM (BiCQw)

334 "cause the poles to shift and Kansas City will end up as the new North Pole"

Oh, Dude -- it already is.

Posted by: wankette at April 01, 2010 02:00 AM (I1Q0P)

335 To this guy's credit, he displays at least a elementary understanding of concepts like buoyancy and physics, and though ignorant of a few... um... details, his concerns are rooted in logical reasoning. That puts him several levels above above the likes of Matt Damon, Nancy Pelosi, and Tom Hanks intellectually.

Posted by: Blackford Oakes at April 01, 2010 02:05 AM (BiCQw)

336 We need to have Larry King interview Representative Johnson. Imagine all the synergistic confusion and blathering that would result. Imagine it! We might not even be able to understand some of it!

Posted by: cackfinger at April 01, 2010 02:16 AM (TUBcJ)

337 Don't worry folks, there's no need to panic. If Guam starts tipping over, we have a contingency plan in which the people of Hawaii will row themselves over in order to balance it out again.

Posted by: Phil at April 01, 2010 02:18 AM (jr7Cb)

338 See, told ya we didn't have enough money!
Posted by: Teachers Union at April 01, 2010 01:44 AM (BiCQw)
There isn't enough money to fix that kind of stupid.

Posted by: Rat Patrol at April 01, 2010 02:20 AM (dQdrY)

339 Why are you people assuming that tipping is bad? Has anyone looked underneath the island to see whats on the other side?

Posted by: DFCtomm at April 01, 2010 02:24 AM (Y9w6i)

340 The fact that this blithering idiot is on the Armed Services Committee tells you all you need to know about the DemonRats' commitment to national defense. Or lack thereof.

Posted by: SomeHatchet Five at April 01, 2010 02:28 AM (Kt5vQ)

341 drugs

Posted by: Cracker Head Bob at April 01, 2010 02:50 AM (CYW1e)

342 \"They" say that we get the government that we deserve,

What the hell did we do to deserve this?

Posted by: Luca Brasi at April 01, 2010 03:08 AM (19dri)

343 Obviously, the Congressional health care system is not working for Hank.

Jesus, Mary and Joseph get the man some methylphenidate .. Ritalin.

Posted by: Neo at April 01, 2010 03:20 AM (tE8FB)

344 355
\"They" say that we get the government that we deserve,

What the
hell did we do to deserve this?


Posted by: Luca Brasi at April 01, 2010 03:08 AM (19dri)

Sat on our hands and refused to do whatever was necessary to ensure it didn't get like this.

Posted by: Grimmy at April 01, 2010 04:46 AM (S9wuX)

345 325
I'm kind of freaked out. I looked up Guam in Google Maps and it's already leaning over pretty far to the
right. And right at the tip where it's leaning over the farthest
is "Andersen AFB". Put a few more people around that base, and it will
fall over for sure. But maybe the military's plan is to move in the
extra 8,000 folks around the base of Guam. Put enough weight there and
maybe the island won't fall over.


Posted by: pbrown at April 01, 2010 12:59 AM (XIUQZ)

Hah! Thanks for the reminder that Guam already has an AF base.
I've been kinda worried about the 3rd MarDiv moving off of Okinawa. With the AF at Kadena, Marines still had some access to decent chow once in awhile.Heh. The Air Force ladies stationed on Guam are gonna get real popular.

Posted by: Grimmy at April 01, 2010 04:52 AM (S9wuX)

346 Further proof that the teaching of Science! in our public skrools is severely lacking.

Posted by: GGE at April 01, 2010 05:15 AM (xRDxw)

347 Also, ease on the dude. He actually did something
important and good in 2006. He beat Cynthia McKinney in the Dem
primary! That's gotta be worth something!




Posted by: Comrade Arthur at March 31, 2010 10:24 PM (clsVS)

WTF platform did he run on? I'm way more stupider than she is?

Posted by: Unclefacts, Summoner of Meteors, Bacons, and Really Really Expensive Scotch at April 01, 2010 05:38 AM (erIg9)

348 WTF platform did he run on? I'm way
more stupider than she is?


Posted by: Unclefacts, Summoner of Meteors, Bacons, and Really
Really Expensive Scotch at April 01, 2010 05:38 AM (erIg9)
Twice as stupid, now with more penis!

Posted by: GGE at April 01, 2010 05:42 AM (xRDxw)

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350
I for one would like to thank Hank Johnson. I wasnt aware that Guam was actually a jon-boat full of drunk rednecks that could tip over at any time due to the excessive weight of carrying too many beer coolers.

Thanks for putting us all some knowledge Hank.

Posted by: Blazer at April 01, 2010 06:03 AM (t72+4)

351 The liberals say that a society can be judged by the way it treats the 'mentally challenged'. Apparently we put them in public office. I don't see how anyone could have risen so high with so little upstairs. The man is a hot-air balloon.
As for his thought that -Future missions to the moon will cause Earth's satellite to "go all
crazy and spin out of orbit", I think he has seen one too many episodes of 'Space:1999".

Posted by: James McEnanly at April 01, 2010 06:21 AM (laM3V)

352 Lighten up - he's clean, articulate, and a credit to his district

Posted by: Sheriff Biden at April 01, 2010 06:23 AM (I8MPS)

353 Guam? Never heard of it.....

Posted by: MSM at April 01, 2010 06:58 AM (5jJdA)

354 "Idiocracy", rent it, live it.

Too dumb to plant a seed...it is a comin'.

Posted by: non_dhimmie at April 01, 2010 07:10 AM (zACGu)

355 And I'm sure his district is 80% white, 12% black and the remaining asian and hispanic--similar proportions as America's population. Nope, no gerrymandering in his district, nosireee!

Posted by: mikey at April 01, 2010 07:18 AM (GSeVd)

356 Wow.. that is HILARIOUS!!!

That's some idiot Gold!

Posted by: Mjim at April 01, 2010 07:21 AM (V8B//)

357 The sad thing about this is that if someone in GA had said this occurred without the video evidence they would have been castigated as raging racists.

Yes, racism straight up as the scrunt would say.

Posted by: Vic at April 01, 2010 08:03 AM (QrA9E)

358 Who put this up on youtube? Because it couldn't have been us.

Posted by: GOP HQ at April 01, 2010 08:10 AM (euuyg)

359 This from Overlawered; constituent mail answering in 1934:

One of the countless drawbacks of being in Congress is
that I am compelled to receive impertinent letters from a jackass like
you in which you say I promised to have the Sierra Madre mountains
reforested and I have been in Congress two months and havent done it.
Will you please take two running jumps and go to hell.- Congressman John McGroarty, engaged in constituent service (1934).Yes we had a higher class of politician then.

Posted by: Vic at April 01, 2010 08:17 AM (QrA9E)

360 Was he high or drunk? He had to be messed up to concoct such a ridiculous idea.

Posted by: brett at April 01, 2010 08:47 AM (dsLeC)

361 I suppose with all the island's instability, a really big typhoon could come along, catch a corner of the island, and then like a cow pie in the wind send it sailing.

Posted by: bill-tb at April 01, 2010 08:53 AM (y+QfZ)

362 Hawaii is bigger at the top than halfway down.
The Corps of Engineers built a fort onDry Tortugas, and theisland has been sinking ever since.
The island in Mono Lake on the Cal/Nev border is not connected to the bottom.
Add those up, and what do you get? His logic is all right; it's the fact thing that's weak. Somewhere there is a box that he's thinking outside of.

Posted by: comatus at April 01, 2010 08:53 AM (/VEEI)

363 Wow. Just Fucking Wow!

Posted by: BIG ROB at April 01, 2010 08:54 AM (K2iC2)

364 I noted that you marked this as Vol. 1. Very wise as there is certainly more to come.

Posted by: Captain Crunch at April 01, 2010 09:00 AM (RUzMf)

365 I'm noting all the chuckling at those laughing here, assuming that because Jackson is black that it was a stupid question
Actually what you should be noting is that you could move the entire population of guam to one end of the island and it would never tip over because that's just silly and it doesn't work that way.
That is what people are laughing at, the assertion itself is laughable stupid, particularly when you consider the fact that it was put forth by a member of Congress who is also a law school graduate.
As far as I can tell your the only one who seems to be hung up on the man's race.

Posted by: StuckOnStupid at April 01, 2010 09:03 AM (e8T35)

366 There must be something about that district. First Cynthia McKinny the popeyed wonder and now we have Island tipping Johnson.

Posted by: Vic at April 01, 2010 09:03 AM (QrA9E)

367 I'd totally vote for one of the spammers over this guy.

Posted by: Mama AJ at April 01, 2010 09:15 AM (XdlcF)

368 omg.......the island of guam is going to capsize? i hope they do something...........something expensive is in order!

Posted by: phoenixgirl at April 01, 2010 09:16 AM (ucxC/)

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Posted by: UGrev at April 01, 2010 09:28 AM (862vz)

372 It's crap like this that makes being a Hill staffer totally embarrassing.
Well, not just crap like this, but this certainly doesn't help.

Posted by: dczombie at April 01, 2010 09:32 AM (nF4Jh)

373 If Guam gets torpedoed at the narrow point, it break in two and sink. Any Navy Admiral knows that and had taken into account, Congressman. Our defenses are set up.

(snark off)

Posted by: spook at April 01, 2010 09:43 AM (KETCq)

374 I give him a solid B+.

Posted by: Slow Joe Biden at April 01, 2010 09:46 AM (zVel1)

375 What's next, that gatorade is better suited to water plants because plants crave electrolytes?
Holy crap, this is the closest we've ever been to the reality of Idiocracy.

Posted by: Machno Comacho at April 01, 2010 09:49 AM (obXkJ)

376 Tipping is accelerated when all hands on "dirt" engage in punching down.

Posted by: madamex at April 01, 2010 09:52 AM (+e1rW)

377 The excuse for this display of pathetic meandering is that Johnson has Hepatitis C which causes him to "regularly get lost in the middle of a discussion." This is supposed to make allowances for him I guess. My question is why is he still in Congress? Shouldn't he at least be on medical leave or something? But of course we will all be called racist for saying any of this.

Posted by: Deanna at April 01, 2010 09:57 AM (JXlgX)

378 Frankly, I'm concerned that too many comments on this thread will cause the internets to tip over and capsize.

Posted by: marmo at April 01, 2010 10:02 AM (wpuKF)

379 389 Uhm, no, no it isn't (the least farthest we've been to the reality); the truly sad (or frightening) thing is that there are others just like him in Congress and this was just a memorable bit of teh stupid.
But, but "it's what plants want!"

Posted by: unknown jane at April 01, 2010 10:03 AM (5/yRG)

380 182 Why don't we just tow Guam a little closer to our shores, so we don't have American troops stationed over the international date line. Guam could be moved offshore of Milwaukee.

I know it's April Fool's Day, but your comment is way too hilarious, and when I just laughed out loud, my dogs jumped up! Hey, maybe one of my dogs should have been put on the stand yesterday with this guy. My dogs are smarter than he is....

Posted by: chai at April 01, 2010 10:07 AM (n1l55)

381 I wonder how people in England keep that island from tipping over. It's obviously loaded unevenlydown south toward London.
Why do you think the part up north is called 'the Highlands'?
Biggest at the level?Least widest? Is that the same as the least wide, or the most narrow, mostest least not narrow,or something else? Least widest = widerish part? Along the level I mean.
I think he's talking about fuckin altitude.
7x 24 - I don't know how man square miles that is, do you? It isa complicated question. Perhaps the navy could research this, we could give it a grant, say, 240 million dollars.
WTF is a 'square' mile anyway? What aboutin least squaredest miles?
Shall we call them 'rotund miles'?
He even sounds slow. I think this man is actually retarded.
Either that, or baked off his ass.
Are we sure he wasn't as high as the least loweston the level of Everest?
Was this part of last Tuesday's LOST?
I did not know Guam had a black smoke monster.

Posted by: Entropy at April 01, 2010 10:12 AM (IsLT6)

382 This nearly happened last year to Manhattan when that pilot landed the commercial airliner in the Hudson.

Posted by: EvaTheFrisbeeDog at April 01, 2010 10:17 AM (L8jeB)

383 I am not sure he should be asking about the environmental implications of this if he doesn't know that the island can't tip over and capsize? We truly have lost our way if complete morons like this get elected and are the best we can do... holy God.

Posted by: Chris at April 01, 2010 10:40 AM (Sl03x)

384 There. Are. No. Words.

Posted by: jewells at April 01, 2010 10:42 AM (l/N7H)

385 I really admire the navy guy's straight-faced reply. "We don't anticipate that." When what he really should have done is laugh hysterically and asked what several folks here already have: "Is that a joke?"

Posted by: Steve the Pirate's Wife at April 01, 2010 10:42 AM (ggqLL)

386 I would have played along and let him run with it.
"Yeah, I can see that happening. We think it's worth the risk."
"We haven't really thought about it all to be honest but we've been very lucky so far so why fret?"
"Well, you win some you lose some. It's only Guam. You'll never win big if you won't take a risk."

Posted by: Entropy at April 01, 2010 10:45 AM (IsLT6)

387 Adm. (after finished laughing) should have said 'No worry sir, we in the Navy have bow-thruster systems that can keep a 5000 man aircraft carrier upright, so an island should be no problem. Plus we learned from the Titanic and will also bring a full complement of life boats.

Posted by: Schwalbe at April 01, 2010 10:50 AM (UU0OF)

388
Drill in Alaska! Shift the poles and make Kansas City the new North Pole! They got great Barbecue! I'll tell the elves to start packing!

Posted by: Santa at April 01, 2010 11:05 AM (UA4gE)

389 The good Admiral should have assuaged Mr. Johnson's fears and assured him that if the island did in fact tip over, the Navy is well equipped to flip it back rightside up by nudging it from beneath with a couple of submarines. So no problem, really.

Posted by: /dev/null at April 01, 2010 11:18 AM (rGcVx)

390 As I see it, there could be four fundamental problems as root causes:

1.) Campaign finance regs of the seventies make it impossible for an intelligent candidate to find the sugar momma needed without having to appeal to lowest common denominator--or be the lowest common denominator.

2.) Local donors who are influential and powerful in their communities who are also dumb as bricks--and who will not select someone they cannot in some way control.

3.) Lack of other significant meeting places that allow informed and intelligent citizens to get to know candidates before they are candidates.

4.) Emphasis on local parties on electability as only selection criteria (feeding back into #2); with loyalty to national party beliefs trumping all other considerations among those considered electable.

Posted by: Horatius at April 01, 2010 11:18 AM (dNSVq)

391
Well duh,the navy could just have Rosie O'Donnell stand on the opposite side of the island that the base is on as a counter balance

Posted by: bulwarkThey at April 01, 2010 11:18 AM (PO/9k)

392 I've seen a lot of smack users in my day.

That guy is banging it up from across the street!

He's stacked up over Laguardia and ain't comin' down for no one!

Posted by: cbullitt at April 01, 2010 11:24 AM (M/WbE)

393 If I was on Guam and wanted to go swimming, I would be sure to go to the shore that's closest to the ocean. It just makes sense.

Posted by: marmo at April 01, 2010 11:25 AM (wpuKF)

394 One of the crossbeams has gone out askew, apparently, on the treadle.

Posted by: Golem14 at April 01, 2010 11:36 AM (2X8VA)

395 YOU FOOLS! Don't you SEE?! If we put 2 manee peoples on Gwam the turlte holdn it up will get anngr and dive! Evvybody is drownded!!!!11!!

Posted by: richard mcenroe at April 01, 2010 11:38 AM (8BIN9)

396 Our shields can't deflect stupidity of that magnitude!

Posted by: Admiral Akbar at April 01, 2010 11:39 AM (IhQuA)

397 Maybe he voted for Obamacare to get a brain transplant?

Posted by: Robert Hooper at April 01, 2010 11:40 AM (fOczA)

398 404, redux.

Root Cause: Basically, we have moved to a parliamentary system, where leadership is devolved onto a few national party leaders, not a representative one, where leadership both arises from and is diffused amongst the citizenry. Thus, a Johnson is acceptable as candidate and representative only because he is able to be an acceptable parrot of party lines.

Posted by: Horatius at April 01, 2010 11:42 AM (dNSVq)

399 And his first comment to his staff at lunch... "How'd I do?"

Posted by: Goomba at April 01, 2010 11:43 AM (6lRYQ)

400 I feel the same way about Florida. Expect it to snap off any day now.

Posted by: Goomba at April 01, 2010 11:45 AM (6lRYQ)

401 Area of Manhattan = 33 Sq Miles Population 1.6 million
Area of Guam = 212 Sq. Miles Population 175,000
Voters of Georgia's 4th District: What were you thinking?

Posted by: Teleprompter at April 01, 2010 11:49 AM (NbmYl)

402 As long as lots of folks keep moving to Texas, the U.S. will not, repeat, not, tip over either on the California side or the New York side. See, its a balancing thingey.

Posted by: mikeyslaw at April 01, 2010 11:58 AM (QMGr1)

403 We're living in a kakistocracy.

Posted by: theCork at April 01, 2010 12:08 PM (L0cxG)

404 Here is the hep c article re Johnson:
http://tinyurl.com/y8vljf8

Posted by: Dr. Varno at April 01, 2010 12:13 PM (0QJjg)

405 After reading it, kinda feel sorry for the man.

Posted by: Dr. Varno at April 01, 2010 12:16 PM (0QJjg)

406 Wilkow is playing this clip and taking calls on it. LOL.

pwnz3r3d!

Posted by: lemosley01 at April 01, 2010 12:35 PM (x7g7t)

407 Admiral: Well, sir, the new arrivals will be ordered to always keep one foot off the ground. That will cut the weight on the island in half.

Posted by: mikey at April 01, 2010 12:40 PM (GSeVd)

408 If he's too sick to make any damn sense, someone should talk sense into him and have him resign.

Posted by: Frank Ch. Eigler at April 01, 2010 12:56 PM (FJ+Jc)

409 His upcoming book: "Everything I Need to Know I Learned from Playing with Pool Toys"

Posted by: Matt at April 01, 2010 12:58 PM (J3jFV)

410 422: Exactly, if he is this impaired he shouldn't be in office. But this jut makes him about as smart as the rest of congress.

Posted by: Alex at April 01, 2010 01:00 PM (EkFe1)

411 How do we lose to these people (using "these people" in the non-racists term).

Somehow I would be willing to bet that 90% of the electorate that put this idiot in office have a certain skin color, and my bet is the opponent did not match.

Racism is alive and well, but we don't speak of it because it's hyphenated Americans that engage in it the most often.

And 90% of blacks voted for Obama. Tell me I'm wrong. What would happen if 90% of whites voted for any candidate?

Posted by: Pointing out the obvious at April 01, 2010 01:03 PM (xm1A1)

412 Please tell me WHY the GOP orTea Party wouldn't run this as an ad for part of what's wrong with our government? Is someone scared of hurting someone else's feelings or something? This kind of stuff is too good not to use!

Posted by: Havedash at April 01, 2010 01:06 PM (sFD5n)

413 As a number of posters have noted I gather (Rush talked about it today) this man suffers from Hep C and is seriously ill and has been for awhile. We should give the congressman a pass on this but go fangs out for Pelosi for putting this man on a committee. What she's done is a cruel, callous deed that I suspect was made to placate the CBC as well as ensuring that this poor fellows antics (when the virus takes over) draws attention away from what the Dems are doing. She is a bitch that needs to be neutered in November.

Posted by: scr_north at April 01, 2010 01:12 PM (xcq8v)

414 Okay, I listened to Rush and he said this guy is sick with Hep. C... now, how does this illness confuse you so much that you think an island acts the same way as a boat? What, you forget all of what you learn in school about islands? He couldn't remember this small little fact due to his illness? I don't buy it, the guy is an utter moron.

Posted by: Friarbones at April 01, 2010 01:15 PM (cEDiR)

415 Ummm.... I'm no artist, or even a whiz with the PC, but....

Posted by: jwpaine at April 01, 2010 01:35 PM (g4J4S)

416 I don't buy that a disease is making that guy just plain ole butt stupid. But, but, if so, for the sake of argument, I don't see where a pass is in order here. If the guy is sick and that mentally unstable, then what's he doing having a voting seat in congress?

Posted by: Havedash at April 01, 2010 01:45 PM (sFD5n)

417 We can also either slow or increase the rate of the Earths rotation if we face all of our cars in the US the same direction and floor the accelerators at exactly the same time. But coast to a stop, because using the brakes will negate the effect.

Posted by: Hep Cee Talkin' at April 01, 2010 01:58 PM (zNd8g)

418 From the new "Ask Hank" blog:

Dear Hank: I live in mortal fear that if I ever take a ride in a helicopter, it will fall from the sky, crash, and kill me. What can I do?
Sid, BagofHammersville, GA

Dear Sid: That's a very good question, but the answer is so simple it might surprise you. Few people realize that you can simply step off the falling helicopter a moment or so before it hits the ground, and walk away. Obviously, the US Air Force provides specialized training for its helicopter pilots, since training new ones is expensive.

Yrs Trudy,
Hank


Posted by: jwpaine at April 01, 2010 02:08 PM (g4J4S)

419 The kids riddin the short bus are smarter than this guy.

Posted by: Old Hippie Vet at April 01, 2010 02:15 PM (3IZGh)

420 @415 -

Well sure, Manhattan is smaller than guam and it has more people living on it. But without some extraordinary engineering measures, Manhattan would capsize regularly. Why do you think we have to fasten it to New Jersey with all those bridges? Duh...


Posted by: /dev/null at April 01, 2010 02:22 PM (rGcVx)

421 aaaand I stole eman's joke from way up at #29. But hey, all comedy is stolen anyway, so no harm done. To quote the great Krusty the Clown, "If this is anyone but Steve Allen, you're stealing my bit!"

Posted by: /dev/null at April 01, 2010 02:27 PM (rGcVx)

422 ADM Willard is awesome.
http://www.navy.mil/navydata/bios/navybio.asp?bioID=19

Posted by: brodie at April 01, 2010 02:33 PM (xs3GU)

423 Atlanta radio morning show this morning brought this up - consensus was, "Well, he's better than Cynthia McKinney."
It doesn't really bug me that people like this have successful careers - it just bugs me when they are more successful than anyone I know.

Posted by: Penultimatum at April 01, 2010 03:14 PM (LxXXO)

424 I suspect russia and china will probably attack any day now.
Posted by: Guy Fawkes at April 01, 2010 12:54 AM (7VvJB)

What for? More of these guys telling us how to live our lives, and we don't need any outside help.

Posted by: always right at April 01, 2010 04:32 PM (0AClR)

425 These posts are absoutely brilliant. I can't quit laughing. God and the American people do have a sense of humor..at least conservatives do.

Posted by: Laughing Hard at April 01, 2010 05:25 PM (et22a)

426 "Tip over?????"
Whiskey.
Tango.
Foxtrot!!!!!

This isn't even in the realm of a potential mis-speak.

This is lunacy. Pure and simple.

To quote Lloyd Christmas.

"Suck me sideways."

DaWG
A resident of America's Hat.

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Posted by: tomic at April 01, 2010 09:40 PM (czxnD)

428 " If the guy is sick and that mentally unstable, then what's he doing having a voting seat in congress? "

Okay. have you watched the news AT ALL in the last ten years?l

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Posted by: Jess at April 02, 2010 06:14 AM (JefgB)

431 There is definitely something in the water in the 4th district of Georgia. Maybe that district should "CAPSIZE" and elimate some of the stupidity !

Posted by: MGM at April 02, 2010 01:55 PM (rgjs6)

432 Uh, at the risk of being perilously off-topic, about the Navy's proposed relocation of 8,000 service personnel and their families to the Island of Guam

Guamistan?

Why did I not get the memo?

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Osmanl Hkmeti Tarafndan lk Kurulan Matbaa
Ve Bunun Neriyat

B. A. MYSTAKIDIS

Sadeletirilmi Metin: Mlik Ylmaz



Ad geen makale 1911 ylnda stanbul’da (Constantinople) Ahmet hsan
ve erikas Matbaaclk Osmanl irketi tarafndan Trih-i
Osmni Encmeni Mecmuasnn ayr basm olarak yaymlanmtr. Makalenin
Franszca ad ‘La Premire Imprimerie Turque et ses Publications’tur.

Makalede, Osmanl Hkmetinin destei ve himayesiyle 1726 ylnda
brahim Mteferrika tarafndan kurulmu olan ilk Trk matbaas
ve bu matbaada baslan eserler hakknda bilgiler
verilmitir. Makale, ounlukla yabanc kaynaklara dayanlarak
hazrlanmtr.
Mystakidis makalesinde, balangta Osmanl Devleti’nde matbaa
kurmann zorluundan bahsederek, brahim Mtferrika’nn mevcut eitli
zorluklara ve engellemelere ramen matbaasn
nasl kurduunu, zellikle matbaasn kurarken gerekli olan
aletleri ve harfleri nasl elde ettiini ve ne ekilde faaliyete
geirdiini anlatmtr. Bununla birlikte Mteferrika matbaasnda
baslan eserlere ilikin bilgiler vermitir.

Sultan III. Ahmed’in saltanatnn son yllarna doru matbaa
sanatn Trkiye’ye getiren “brahim Mteferrika” hakknda, Tarih-i
Osmani Encmeni Mecmuas’nn nc blmnn 178 –185. sayfalarnda
nefis bir makale okudum.
Topu Urban’ inceledikten sonra, Doktor Karaun Efendi’nin ilme
hizmet ettiini gsteren bu makalede, Osmanl Devleti’nde matbaaclk,
ilk kurulan matbaa ve bu matbaann kurulmas iin gerekli olan
alet ve harflerin salanmas, bununla birlikte baslan kitaplarn
adedi, ayrca Doktor Karaun Efendi’nin makalesinde konu olan Trke ve
Franszca sarf (dilbilgisi-) kitab iin bibliyografik bilgilerle
kitabn yazar hakknda baz zet bilgileri arz ediyorum.Bu makalenin
yazarnn asl amac, brahim Mteferrika’nn durumunu aklamaktan
ibarettir.

Bunun yan sra yazar, brahim Efendi gibi Macar olan Urban hakknda
da iki satrdan ok olmamak zere aklayc bir iki sz
sylemitir. rnein, Urban’n Trklere topu kalba dkmei mi veya
topun iml olunmasn m yoksa top atma m ya da topla nian almasn
m gsterdiini aklamak gerekmektedir. Ayrca, Bizans ve Trk
tarihilerinin eserlerinde konu ettikleri ve bundan krk be yl nce
mzemizin eski mdr Msy Dtye’nin topuluk tarihiyle ilgili olarak
kaleme ald birka sayfalk makalede, o srada en byk top olan
Rudman topunu imal etme baarsndan dolay kendileriyle gurur duyan
Amerikallara kar, Hazreti Fatih’in, Rudman topuyla karlatrlm
olan o byk ve mehur lem topunun da adn anmak gerekliydi.

Bundan baka, ayn dnemde yaayan tarihilerden bazs Urban’
Daya (eski Romanya) halkndan kabul etmektedirler. Urban, Macar olarak
kabul olunduu takdirde, ada olan bir nc Macar daha vardr ki
bu kii de, gemiteki hizmetleriyle birlikte anlmakta, ancak ismi
verilmemektedir. Bu kii, anlama gerei Hunyad tarafndan Hazreti
Fatih’in ordughna gnderilmitir. Kaleyi ykmak iin kullanlan
yntemin eksikliklerini grerek topun ne ekilde kullanlacan
retmi ve bu sayede kalenin bir an nce yklmasyla stanbul’un fethi
gereklemitir.

Fatih Sultan Mehmed’in yazm ilerinde alan mrozlu
Kristodolos’un meslektam Karolidi Efendi tarafndan evirisi yaplarak
mecmua ile yaymlanan tarihinde, Urban’n ismi anlmyorsa da, bu
eserde topun imal ediliinden ayrntl olarak sz edildiinden buras
mecmuann drdnc blmnde evirisi yaplarak aklanmtr.Firmin
Dido’nun matbaa hakkndaki grleri
On beinci yzylda stanbul’da Museviler tarafndan baslm birka
kitap yaymlanmt.

Fakat Sultan II. Bayezid tarafndan karlan ve olu Sultan I.
Selim’in 1515’de yeniledikleri bir emir zerine matbaa
ilmi ile uramak idam cezas ile yasaklanmtr.
Jojef bin Goriyo’nun “brani Tarihi” zerine yazlm eseri,
stanbul, 1490 tarihlidir. Dier eserler ise 1492’den 1598 tarihine
kadar olan zaman zarfnda yaynlanmtr.
Bunlarn en nemlisi 1546’da eitli dillerde basm yaplan
Tevrat’n Esfar- Hamse ksmdr. On altnc yzylda Patrik Kirilos
Lokaris’in yardm ile Kefalonyal Rahip Nikodimus Mtakassas adl kii
stanbul’da yeniden bir matbaann kurulmasna alm ise de
bu giriimi Cizvitler tarafndan engellenmitir. 1698’de Ermeniler
tarafndan Osmanl Devleti’ne getirilen bask malzemeleri Sultann emri
ile yenieriler tarafndan tahrip edilmitir.

stanbul’da matbaann kurulmas ancak on sekizinci yzylda
Osmanl Hkmeti’nin destei ve himayesi ile gereklemitir.
Sultan III. Ahmed dneminde, brahim Efendi byk ve srekli
abalarla hemehrilerinin ve zellikle de ulemann o zamana kadar devam
eden engellemelerine ve muhalefetlerine karn 1139 (1726) ylnda
Layd’tan kalp getirtmek ve burada harfleri dktrmek iin ad geen
Padiahtan izin almtr.
Bu mehur tarihi aadaki szlerden fazla bir bilgi vermiyor.
brahim Mteferrika tarafndan Kurulan bu matbaada
ilk baslan kitap Trke’den Arapa’ya bir szlktr. Bu szlk,
1726’dan 1728 ylna kadar olan srede yaynlanmtr. 1729’da bir de
Franszca’dan Trke’ye bir dilbilgisi kitab baslmtr. 1744 ylnda
brahim Efendi’nin vefatndan sonra bu matbaada
bir sre basm ileri gereklememitir ancak daha sonra matbaa
tekrar faaliyete balamtr.
1816 ylnda skdar’da bulunan Matbaa-i
Amire’ye gerekletirdiim ziyaretim srasnda matbaada
muntazam drt makine bulunuyordu.



1746’da vefat eden ve Paris Kraliyet Ktphanesi’nde ktphaneci ve
Kollej d Frans retmenlerinden olan Rahip Mihail Furmon‘un Msy
Mrp’ye hitaben Sakz’dan gndermi olduu 26 Mart 1729 tarihli
mektubunda, matbaay ziyaretinden ve matbaann
pek ar ve zorluklarla faaliyetine devam ettiinden, buna sebep olarak
da kurucularnn bu husustaki cehaleti ve Said Efendi’nin ilgisizlii
olduundan bahsetmektedir.

Ayrca ziyareti srasnda matbaann ba mrettip ve hakkakinin
ancak Trke’yi konuabilen zavall bir Bolonyal Musevi olduunu ve matbaann
sorumlusunun da Macar ruhbanndan iken mslman olan brahim Efendi
olduunu, Said Efendi’nin destei ve araclyla Enderun-i Hmayun
Ktphaneleri’ni ziyaret etme midinde iken, Said Efendi’nin alakadar
olmadn grmesi zerine fikrinin deitiini sylemektedir.



Karaun Efendi tarafndan gerek matbaa ve gerekse de brahim
Mteferrika hakknda ayrntl bilgi verilmitir.

Ayrca, hakkklar, hurufat dkmecileri ve matbaaclarn
Viyana’dan getirtildii yazlm ise de bu konuda Lorek, “Said Efendi
gerekli yazlar hazrlam olup hurufat stanbul’da bizzat kestirip
dktrmtr” demektedir. Toderini de, aratrmaclarn Trke yazlm
tarihlerde bu konuda bir eye rastlayamayacaklar gibi, dikkatli bir
ekilde incelemi olduum Yirmisekiz elebi Mehmed Efendi’nin
sefaretnamesinde de rastlayamadm diyor.
Gerekten, Tarih-i Raid’in eki olan Kkelebizade Asm
Efendi’nin Tarihinde de, matbaa malzemelerinin gelii
hakknda bilgi yoktur.
Saint Simon’un “Hatrat” adl eserinde, Yirmisekiz elebi Mehmed
Efendi’nin eli olarak Paris’te bulunduu zamanki durumuna dair u
ifadelere rastlanlmaktadr:
Osmanl Devleti’nin Paris Elisi Mehmed Efendi matbaann
btn aletlerini, makinelerini, kaznm yazlarn ve matbaa
binasnn kabartma planlarn grmtr.

Paris’te bulunduu srada Kraliyet Ktphanesi’ni de ziyaret
etmitir. Bu ziyareti esnasnda ktphanenin tarih ve nefis kitaplar
hakknda geni bilgisi olduunu gstermitir. Mehmet Efendi Sadrazam’n
arkada olduu iin stanbul’a dnnde bir matbaa
ile bir de ktphane kurmaya karar vermi ve grd muhalefete ramen
baarl da olmutur.
Meninski “matbaa malzemelerinin Paris’ten getirtildiini,
Firmin Dido ise Layd’tan getirtilmi olduunu” sylemektedir.

Karaun Efendi’nin yazm olduklar makalede sz konusu olan “Trke
Franszca Sarf” (Dilbilgisi) kitabnn basm iin gerekli olan
Franszca harflerin elde edilmesine gelince, Saint Simon’un 1829 ylnda
baslm olan “Hatrat” adl eserinin on sekizinci cildinin 382-383.
sayfalarnda u ifadelere rastlanlmaktadr:
“Holderman’n ‘Sarf- Trkisi’ni bastrmak iin gerekli olan Franszca
harflerin Paris’ten gnderildii, Saray Kral Nzr Msy Mrp
tarafndan, o zaman Fransa’nn stanbul Elilii grevinde bulunan Msy
Vilnov’a yazlm olan 28 Haziran 1730 tarihli mektubun ieriinden
anlalmaktadr. Ad geen mektupta, brahim Efendi’nin Sarf- Trki ve
Lgat kitabn bastrmak iin talep ettii Franszca harflerin
verilmesini Kraldan rica edeceim, kitaplarn basmnda kullanlacak
Trke harflerden bana numune gnderiniz deniliyor”.

Numune talebinin amac ise, gnderilecek Franszca harfler ile
burada bulunan Trke harflerin bir ayarda olmasn salamak, dzene
koymak ve basm iini kolaylatrmaktr.
Matbaann kurulmasndan sonra baslan kitaplarn
adedi konusuna gelince : 1867 ylndaki orada Paris Osmanl Devleti’nin
Elisi olan Cemil Paa’nn bakanlnda toplanan Osmanl Fen
Komisyonunun dzenlemi olduu raporlardan biri olan Sanayi-i Nefise ve
ubeleri hakkndaki drdnc raporun, Paris’te baslan nshasnn altm
ikinci sayfasnda, gerek matbaann nasl kurulduuna ve
gerekse de harflerin nereden ve nasl salandna dair herhangi bir
ey sylenilmemitir. Bununla birlikte, raporda ilk matbaann
kurulmasyla basm gereklemi olan kitaplarn adedi yirmi be olarak
gsterilmi ise de, D’ohsson Tarihinin 1788’de baslan sekiz ciltlik
eserinin, ikinci cildinin be yz birinci sayfasnda basm yaplan
kitaplarn adedi on be olarak gsterilmitir.

Zonkiyer’in (Jonquiere)“Tarih-i Devlet-i Aliyye” adl eserinin
1881’de Paris’te baslan nshasnn 356. sayfasnda, matbaada
baslan eserlerin says on be olarak kaytldr. Bu kayt,
tarihinin, sz konusu kayda ilikin bilgiyi yalnzca D’ohsson Tarihine
bavurarak edindii dncesini dourmaktadr.
Hammer Tarihinin on drdnc cildinin 179. sayfasnda matbaada
baslan eserler yedi adet olarak gsterildii halde, ad geen cildin
sonunda bulunan aklama ksmnda ise, toplam on yedi olarak kayt
edilmitir.

Sz konusu kayt bu cildin 496. sayfasndadr.
Matbaa hakknda stanbul’dan, 3 Terin-i sni
(Kasm) 1740 tarihinde yazlan ve 14 Knun-i sni (Ocak) 1741 tarihli
“Gazet d Frans “ nshasnda yer alan bir mektupta, Fnun-i Askeriyye’ye
(Askerlik Bilgileri) ait birok eser Trke’ye evrilerek matbaada
baslmtr. Bir yl boyunca baslan kitaplarn adlarn ieren bir
cetvelin yaymlanmasnn yntem haline getirilmesi nedeniyle o yln
sonunda yaymlanan bu cetvele gre matbaann
kuruluundan imdiye kadar 280 cilt kitabn basm gereklemitir”
denilmektedir.



Trke ve Franszca olarak basm yaplan sarf (dilbilgisi) kitab
hakknda:
Meninski, byk lgatnn 1780’de Viyana’da baslan nshasnn
birinci cildinin nsznde, brahim Mteferrika ve matbaadan
sz ederken bu “sarf” hakknda aadaki ksack szleri sylyor.
“Rahip Holderman’n telif etmi olduu Trke ve Franszca sarf kitab,
bu matbaann 1730 tarihinde basm olduu
eserlerdendir”.
Toderini Tarihinde bu konuda geni bilgi vermektedir. Ayrca bu
eserin, o zaman stanbul’da bulunan Franszlarn zorlamas ve basksyla
matbaada
basldn belirterek, Franszlarn dil gereksinmelerini
kolaylatrmak iin kitabn sonuna bir de mkaleme ksm ilave edilmi
olduunu ifade etmitir. Bununla birlikte eserin nshalarnn ok az
bulunmasndan dolay byk zorluklarla bir nshasn elde ettiini
sylemektedir.
1747’de Paris Kraliyet Ktphanesi Trke ve Farsa mtercimlerden
olan Arman (Armain) adl kii stanbul’a gelerek o zaman Fransa’nn
stanbul Elisi olarak bulunan Kont Dozayir (comte des Alleurs) ile
birlikte matbaay ziyaretten sonra, Paris’e gndermi olduu
20 Eyll 1747 tarihli raporunda yer alan ve kitaplarn fiyatn kapsayan
cetvelde, matbaada baslan kitaplarn adedi on alt olarak
gsterilmi ve bu sarf kitabndan sz edilmemitir. brahim Mteferrika
hakknda ise, bu raporun yazld tarihten alt ay nce vefat etmitir
demektedir.

Bundan dolay D’ohsson, Tarihinin ikinci cildinin 480-510. sayfasna
kadar matbaa hakknda aklama yapm ve ilk baslan
kitaplarn cetvelini dahi kayt etmi olduu halde bu sarf iin tek bir
sz bile sylememitir. Bu yzden Zonkiyer’in (Jonquiere), Tarihine
alm olduu cetvelde de bu kitabn adna rastlanlmamaktadr. Yalnz
Hammer, Tarihinin on drdnc cildinin sonuna –bu cildin iindekiler
hakknda gerekli olan kapsaml aklama- ilave etmi olduu blmde yer
alan, matbaada baslan eserlerin adlarn ieren cetvelde
sekizinci olarak bu sarf gstermektedir.
Dido, yukarda ad geen eserinin yedi yz altnc sayfasnda bu
eserden sz etmi ise de basm tarihi olan 1730 yln 1729 olarak
gstermitir.

Paris’te basm gerekleen Ktphaneler Mecmuas’nn 1895 ylna ait
olan beinci cildinin 185-200 ve 228-236. sayfalarnda aadaki
aklamalara rastlanlmaktadr; Jojoyet Rahiplerinden Strazburg’lu
Holderman tarafndan 1730 ylnda stanbul’da Said Aa’nn matbaasnda
ocuklara mahsus Trke-Franszca bir sarf baslmtr. Yukarda ad
geen rahip bir de Ermenice sarfn basmn yapmak arzusunda bulunmu
ise de 13 Terin-i evvel (Ekim) 1730 ylnda vefat etmesinden tr buna
muvaffak olamamtr.

Baslan Franszca sarfn birok nshas Fransa’ya gnderilmi ve
Kraliyet Ktphanesi Mdr Rahip Binyon’a (Bignon) verilerek 1731-1732
yllarnda Msy Mrpa’nn emriyle Paris’te bulunan Jojoyet Mektebi
rencilerine datlmtr.
Kitabn Avrupa Ktphanelerindeki varlna gelince: Gerek eitim
grm olduum Tubingen Darlfnun Ktphanesi ile daha sonra devam
ettiim Stutgard’n byk ktphanesinde, bundan yirmi sene nce bu
esere rastladm. Bugn bu kitabn ad geen ktphanelerde mevcut
bulunduuna baklarak kitabn Avrupada ki varln Lozan (Lausane)
Akademisi Ktphanesi ile snrlandrmak doru deildir. Ayrca ad
geen kitabn, Mze-i Hmayun Ktphanesi iin 1908 senesi Terin-i
evvelinde (Ekim) bir liraya satn alnan ve 4845 umumi numaral
nshasnn birinci sayfasnda mevcut bulunan eski bir mhrden, bunun
Pete civarnda bulunan “Giz Kartal” karyesindeki ktphanede bulunan
ikinci nsha olduu anlalmaktadr.Matbaann
yabanc dillerden ilk basm olduu bu sarf kitab 218 sayfadan ibaret
olup, ilk on alt ve son sekiz sayfas numaraszdr. lk sayfasnda
kitabn ad ve Macar Ktphanesi’nin mhr ve geri kalan ilk on be
sayfasnda da yazar tarafndan Kardinal Flori’ye ithafen yazlan
imzasz bir mektup yer almaktadr. Bunun devamnda kitabn telifi ve
basks srasnda hata edilmemesi iin aba harcanmsa da buna muvaffak
olunamadndan kitapta gerekli dzeltmeleri ieren bir nsz ve
Trke’ye dair bir giri vardr. Bundan sonra balayan numaral
sayfalarda sarf (dilbilgisi) kurallarndan sz edilmitir. Kitapta 127.
sayfadan 144. sayfaya kadar, gerekli olan Trke cmlelere, 144.
sayfadan kitabn sonuna kadar yirmi blme ayrlm olan mklemeler
eklenmitir. Gerek cmleler gerekse mklemeler stun zerine
dizilmi olup birincide Trke cmleler Franszca harfler ile ikincide,
Trke harfler ile yazlm, ncde ise Franszca karl
gsterilmitir. Kitabn ilk sayfasnn ierii bir ve iki numaral
fotoraflarla gsterilmitir.

NOTLAR

(1) Bu isim Orbin, Orban, Urban olmak zere yazarlar arasnda ihtilaf
konusu olup Kamusul-Alm’da bu kii hakknda hibir bilgi yoktur.

(2) Hoca efendi (Sadeddin Efendi) “Tc’t-Tevrh”.

(3) “Courrier des Etats-Unis” du 29 Octobre 1861 “le plus gros canon
du monde”. (“Birlemi Milletler kuryesi” 29 Ekim 1861’de “dnyann en
byk topu olarak ifade etmitir”.

(4) Matriaux pour l’histoire de l’artillerie n gnral et de
l’ottomane en particulier (topu snf tarihinde zellikle Osmanlda)
1865 tarihinde stanbul’da baslmtr. On alt sayfadan
ibarettir.

(5) Chalcocondylis, dit. Bonn. p. 385-386, Ducas, p.271-272,
Frantzis, p. 237-239.

(6) Hammer-Hellert, II, p. 398-399. “Ainsi c’tait un Hongrois qui
avait fondu le canon, et ce fut un Hongrois qui apprit aux turcs a s’en
servir utilement;”Ducas, qui, comme Kritoboulos, ne donne pas son nom,
(Bylece topcu snfn kuran bir Macar’d ve Trklere bunu, faydal bir
ekilde kullanmay retti. Ducas, Kritoboulos gibi ismini vermedi)
diyor ki:
?????? ??????? ?x ????? ?? ?? ???? ???? ?????? ????? ??? ????? ?????
???x ???? ??? ??? ???x?? ??x??? ??? ????, ????? ?... ? ?????? ? ???
?? ?????? .
Ayn mahale bir ta mermi daha atmak istediinden bunu...orada
hazr bulunan Hunyad’n adam ‘adem-i tasvb ile... nasihat eyledi.. bu
nasihat ustann makbulne geti.
Zrkeisen, Geschichte D. Osman : Reiches vol. II, p. 831.
Jorga, Geschichte D. Osmanischen : Reiches, vol. II, p. 18-20.

(7) Ansiklopedi Modern’in yirmi altnc cildinden alnt.
“Firmin Didot” Essai sur la Typographie, Paris, 1855 (Extr: du tome
XXVI, de l’Encyclopdie moderne, “Turquie p.706.”.

( Tarihinin bu ifadeleri hakknda yaplacak birok aklama var
ise de yalnz bununla yetinilmitir. lk baslan lgat kitab Arapa’dan
Trke’yedir ki Shah- Cevheri evirisi olan “Vankulu”dur.
Toderini’nin “Edebiyt- Trkiye” adl eserinin ikinci cildinin 176.
sayfas ile devam eden sayfalarna ve Lorek’in “Trih-i Tb’at” adl
eserinin birinci cildinin 280 ve 281. sayfalarna baknz.

(9) “Omont”, Missions Archologiques franaises en Orient, p. 543.
Paris 1902, in 4.

(10) Lorek, sayfa 281. “Lorek” Handb: d: Geschichte d.
Buchdrukerkunst Theil I, Leipsig, 1882.

(11) Cilt 2, sayfa 172. “Toderini” Litteratur d: Trken,
Koenigsberg, 1790.

(12) Kk elebi-zde Tarihinin Matba’a-i ‘mre’de baslan nshas
sayfa 470-471.

(13) Htrt, cilt 18, sayfa 382-83.
Mmoires de Saint-Simon, edit : de 1829.

(14) Viyana, 1780 basksnn nsznn 87. sayfas.
Meninski, Lexicon Arabico-Persico—Turcicum Viennae 1780. fol : p:
87.

(15) Fenn-i Tb’at hakknda bilgiler sayfa 77.

(16) Fransz bilim adamlarndan “Msy Omon”un “Ktphaneler
Mecmuas’nn 1895 ylna ait olan nshas sayfa 228-236.

(17) Vol: I, p. :LXXXVII “ex cadem typographia prodiit anno Cristi
1730 Gallicoturcica grammatica Aldermannii extinctae S. I. sacerdote”.


(1 Sarfn yazar olup eserinde ad yazl olmayan “Holderman”
kitabn “Kardinal d Filori” ye ithafen kitabn bana yazm olduu
ithafname ve nszde bask esnasnda birok zorlukla karlatn
beyan ediyor.

(19) Ayn kitabn 224. sayfasnda tarihinin zamannda Galata’da
bulunan Jojoyet Mektebi’nde satlmayan iki yz nsha mevcut olup sonra
Avrupa’ya dalm olduundan yine kendisi sz ediyor.

(20) Msy Omon’un 1902’de Paris’te drt cilt olarak baslan Missions
Archologiques Franaises en Orient adl eserinin 751-753. sayfalar.

(21) Bu Said Aa “Yirmisekiz elebi Mehmed Efendi” nin olu olan
“Mehmed Said Efendi”dir ki 1154’de Rumeli pyesiyle Paris Elisi
olmutur. Sicill-i Osmani, cilt 3, sayfa 29-30. Fransz dou
bilimcilerinden Msy efer tarafndan Paris’te 1894’de baslan,
1716-1724 yllarnda Fransa’nn Osmanl Devleti Elisi olarak bulunan
Marki d Bonnak (marquis de Bonnac)’ n “Hatrt” adl eserinin
nsznn 43-45. sayfalarnda brahim Mteferrika’ya matbaann
kurulmasnda yardmc olan bu kii hakknda birok bilgi mevcut ise de
maalesef bu eseri imdiye kadar elde edemedim.

(22) Kitabn ktphanede bulunduu yer, bi, XIII, 8 in 4.
(23) Orientalische Philologie in 4.

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العاب حربية

منتدى
اخبار الفن والفنانين والمشاهير

مسلسلات
رمضان 2010 - تحميل مسلسلات رمضان 2010 -مسلسلات جديدة 2010 - مسلسلات
خليجية 2010

منتدى اديها فلة

اديها فلة

اديها فلة

زخرفة
أسمك في قيمزر gamezr , زخرفة قيمز , قيمزر - 500 شكل لزخرفة أسمك في قيمزر
gamezr



شرح التسجيل
في قيمزر - gamezer , قيمزر - بلياردو - البلياردو - موقع قيمزر - التجيل
في قيمزر - قيمزر - rdl.v - قيم - billiards Gamezer



بلياردو -
قيمزر - billiard - gamezer - قيم - [dl.v



طريقة فك
الحظر في قيمزر البلياردو 2010 , قيمزر - قيم - بلياردو - rdl.v - فك الحظر
- فك البلوك - gamezer - billiard



الريُسـبشن●

~ My Space ~

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عامــه ●

● إسٌلآمـنا
هو حيآتـنٍا ●


][الصـوتيــات][

● للمواضيع
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اخبار الفن والفنانين والمشاهير ●

●منتدى
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منتدى
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عآلم الآنمي
The world of Anime

● Music
Rap Rock ...etc ●

● منتدى
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●Computers●

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واكسـسوآراتهآ ●

{.. عالم
الماسنجر/ ~ ..!!

● فوتوشوب -
Photoshop - تصاميم - جرافيكس●

● قسم دروس
فوتوشوب ●

● معرض
تصاميم الاعضاء●

● للـبكشرز
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● الـحرب
بين الشبآب و البنـآت●

● الريآضه
وعشاقها ●

تحميل
اغنية غرقان راشد الماجد ومنى امرشا في جلسات وناسه 2010 الثانيه - ديو
اغنية منى امرشا وراشد الماجد غرقان في جلسات وناسة 2 mb3



تحميل
اغنية خلص حنانك راشد الماجد وعبدالمجيد عبدالله في جلسات وناسه 2010
الثانيه - ديو اغنية عبدالمجيد عبدالله وراشد الماجد خلص حنانك في جلسات
وناسة 2 mb3



تحميل
الحلقة 37 هيفاء وهبي ‏ اخر من يعلم هيفاء وهبي 2010 , حلقة هيفاء وهبي من
برنامج اخر من يعلم الحلقة السابعة والثلاثون اروى برنامج اخر من يعلم ضيف
الحلقه 37 هيفاء وهبي في برنامج اخر من يعلم 2010



ahj

]v]ai

تحميل
الحلقه 5 برنامج نقطة تحول محمد عبدة . حلقة محمد عبدة نقطة تحول الحلقة
الخامسة

تحميل
الحلقة 5 اخر من يعلم حياة الفهد , حلقة حياة الفهد اخر من يعلم الحلقة
الخامسة

تحميل
نغمات اتحادية mp3-اهازيج اتحاديه mp3-صالح القرني mp3-اغاني نغمات اتحاديه
mp3

شات ابوعريش

اكواد الالوان

اغرب
صور2010 ،جديد اغرب صور2010 ، اغرب ، صور 2010 ، اغرب صور2010

ايميل
ماجد المهندس 2010 ايميل ماجد جديد 2010 ماجد المهندس ايميل

جامعة جازان

توبيكات
اغنية وحشتنا يا حبيب راشد الماجد ومحمد عبدة جلسة وناسة 2010 , توبيك
وحشتنا يا حبيب محمد عبدة وراشد الماجد جلسات وناسة 2010



صور موضي
الشمراني صورة موضي الشمراني جديده 2010 صورة الطقاقه موضي الشمراني

jazan

hams

رقم شجون
الهاجري رقم جوال شجون الهاجري رقم موبايل شجون الهاجري شوجي

صور فرقة
طيور الجنة 2010 , صور طيور الجنة , فرقة طيور الجنه ,صور جديده

تحميل
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العاب فلاش

تحميل
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2010 - ال

توبيكات
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2010

تحميل
برنامج تيربو للماسنجر, تيربو ماسنجر turbo msn للجوال نوكيا الجيل الثالث
والثاني

تحميل
برنامج المحادثة الشهير Yahoo! Messenger 10.0.0.542 Bet اخر اصدار

صور
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صور بي
ام دبليو 2010 , bmw 2010 صور سيارة بي ام دبليو,صور سيارة بي ام دبليو
z4,صور بي

منتدى
الوظائف والتوظيف

منتديات همس جازان

تحميل
انشودة ارايت دعاية زين الجديده 2010 mp3 أرآيت , تنزيل انشودة دعاية زين
الجديده 2010 أرآيت , فيديو كليب انشودة زين ارايت بوتيوب , انشودة زين
ارئيت محمد الياسين

شاعر
المليون 4 الجزء الرابع

اديها فله

منتدى

توبيكات

تحميل
أغنية مسلسل قلوب للايجار راشد الماجد mp3 الأغنية كاملة + النغمات

صور
مميزة للمسن 2010 و صور شبابية للمسنجر و صور قلوب للمسن 2010

صور
للمسن 2010 ,صور مسنجر حلوه , جديدة , اجمل صور المسنجر

صور مسن
شوجي فايز انت فايز شوجي - صور للبنات

توبيكات
العيد الفطر,صور مسن للعيد,توبيك العيد,توبيكات 2009

تحميل
سكربت كاشف الظهور دون اتصال الاوف لاين 2009-2010

تحميل
أنشودة برنامج خواطر 5 الجزء الخامس للمبدع حمود الخضر

تحميل
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انشودة رمضان مشاري العفاسي لشركة زين mp3 2009

فساتين و
أزياء ومكياج مسلسلات حليمه - حليمة بولند

تحميل
اغنية برنامج شوجي شجون الهاجري mp3



يوتيوب YouTube



يوتيوب جازان



كأس العالم جنوب أفريقيا 2010



يوتيوب جيزان

سكس 2009

همس

نتائج
جامعة جازان للعام الحالي1430 ـ1431هـ , نتائج جامعة جازان الفصل الاول
للعام الحالي1430 ـ1431هـ

تحميل
انشودة ليش بتكذب ياوليد 2010 طيور الجنه mp3 , فيديو ليش بتكذب لعصومي و
وليد من قناة طيور الجنة 2010

تواقيع
العيد جديده , بطاقات العيد , توقيع العيد, صور العيد , روعه ,جديده 2010

فساتين
بنات للعيد ازياء للعيد ملابس العيد جديده 2010

jv[li

زفات- زفه - منتدى زفات -
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ترجمة

تحميل
انشودة في السوق رغد الوزان mp3 طيور الجنة 2010 , فيديو كليب في السوق
طيور الجنة 2010 , يوتيوب في السوق رغد الوزان 2010 , جديد طيور الجنة 2010
نشيدة في السوق

تحميل
انشودة عمو حرامي رغد الوزان mp3 طيور الجنة 2010 , فيديو كليب عمو حرامي
طيور الجنة 2010 , يوتيوب عمو حرامي رغد الوزان 2010 , جديد طيور الجنة
2010 نشيدة الحرامي عم حرامي

ترجمة النصوص

فيديو
حيوانات مفترسة في الغابات افتراس قتل حروب معارك

تحميل
انشودة لعبوا بالسكين عصومي ووليد mp3 طيور الجنة 2010 , فيديو كليب لعبوا
بالسكين طيور الجنة 2010 , يوتيوب لعبوا بالسكين عصومي ووليد 2010 , جديد
طيور الجنة 2010 نشيدة لعبوا بالسكين

كلمات
أغنية اذكريني ماجد المهندس 2009 - 2010

كلمات
ألبوم أذكريني ماجد المهندس 2009 - 2010

توبيكات
البوم اذكريني ماجد المهندس 2009 - 2010

تحميل
اغنية خلاص من حبكم راشد الماجد في جلسات وناسه 2010 الثانيه - اغنية راشد
الماجد خلاص من حبكم جلسة وناسة 2 mb3

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تحميل
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كراميش

تحميل
حلقات مسلسل عاصي asi التركي الجديد من الاولى حتى الاخيره

روابط
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تحميل
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2010,رم

صور بنات
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رموز
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اسماء

مركز تحميل

تحميل
زفة اسلامية محمد عبده جديده 2010 , زفات محمد عبده اسلاميه بدون موسيقى
2010

تحميل
زفات عروس 2010 جديده زفات احلام مع محمد عبده 2010 زفة افراح عروس

تحميل
زفات راشد الماجد 2010 زفات عرائس راشد الماجد 2010 زفات افراح بدون موسيقى


توبيك

توبيكات اسلامية

توبيكات جديده
2010

توبيكات حزينه

توبيكات حب

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صحيفة همس جازان

صحيفة

مجله

أخبار و مواضيع متنوعة:
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اشتراكات.

News

توبيكات عتاب
وخيانه

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توبيكات رياضية

توبيكات

تحميل
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الثامن 2010

اسطوانة
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القعقاع
2010

برامج
القعقاع 2010

توبيكات جازان

توبيكات جيزان

تحميل
انشودة يسلمو يا دكتور محمد بشار و ديمة بشار mp3 طيور الجنة 2010 , فيديو
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توبيكات همس

تفسير
الاحلام

موقع
تفسير الاحلام

تفسير حلم

الاحلام

حلم

منتديات
تفسير الاحلام

تعبير
الرؤى

رصاصة
رحمه

مسلسل
رصاصة رحمة

dreams

توبيكات جازان

تحميل
انشودة لأ لأ مش كدة عمر الصعيدي 2010 طيور الجنة mp3 , فيديو كليب لأ لأ
مش كدة طيور الجنة 2010 , يوتيوب لأ لأ مش كدة عمر الصعيدي , كلمان انشودة
لأ لأ مش كدة طيو الجنه , جديد طيور الجنة 2010 لأ لأ مش كدة

تحميل
انشودة روق روق أشرف يوسف 2010 طيور الجنة mp3 , فيديو كليب روق روق طيور
الجنة 2010 , يوتيوب روق روق أشرف يوسف , كلمان انشودة روق روق طيو الجنه ,
جديد طيور الجنة 2010 روق روق

تحميل
انشودة عندي حصالة رغد الوزان 2010 طيور الجنة mp3 , فيديو كليب عندي حصالة
طيور الجنة 2010 , يوتيوب عندي حصالة رغد الوزان , كلمان انشودة عندي
حصالة طيو الجنه , جديد طيور الجنة 2010 عندي حصاله

مقاطع
سكس جديده 2010

موقع
مهرجان جازان الشتوي الثالث

مهرجان
جازان الثالث

موقع
مهرجان جازان الشتوي 3

منتديات
مهرجان جازان الشتوي 3

مهرجان
جازان الشتوي الثالث 2010

منتدى
مهرجان جازان الشتوي الثالث

مهرجان
جازان الشتوي 3 الثالث 1431هـ

مهرجان
الجنادرية 25

تحميل
فيديو كليب البتول راشد الماجد 2010 , تنزيل اغنية البتول جديد راشد الماجد
, فيديو اغنية البتول كليب راشد الماجد 2010, كليب راشد البتول 2010 ,
استماع اغنية البتول فيديو 2010

مركز

تحميل,

مركز تحميل ملفات,

مركز تحميل صور,

موقع تحميل,

تحميل,

تحميل ملفات,

رفع ملفات,

رفع صور,

رفع صورة,

رفع ملف,

تحميل صور,

تحميل ملف,

رفع صوتيات,

رفع فيديو,

رفع فلاش,

رفع ملفات مضغوطة,

تحميل صوتيات,

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مركز رفع ,

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برامج ،

مركز تحميل ملفات ،

مركزتحميل صور ،

مركز همس جازان

، مركز تحميل صور ،

موقع تحميل صور وملفات ،

مواقع ،

موقع تحميل برامج ،

مركز تحميل ،

مركز تحميل فلاش

تحميل

-



تحميل همس -

تحميل ملفات

توبيكات

منتديات همس

مسلسلات
رمضان 2010

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