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Retracto, the Correction Alpaca Now Has a Theme Song

Heh. Pretty silly.

Correction: Yesterday I mentioned Paul Ryan's plan to save entitlements and put the country on a sound financial footing.

I incorrectly stated that the only fix to the entitlements he proposed (or which would be necessary) was a phased-in escalation of the age at which benefits are paid out, from age 65 to age 70.

In fact, his plan includes means-testing, plus vouchers to get people off government health care and into private plans.

Retracto the Correction Alpaca forced me to issue this correction by looking at me with them "crazy-eyes."

Posted by: Ace at 03:25 PM



Comments

1
hi-ho!

Posted by: This is Kissel at February 09, 2010 03:26 PM (z37MR)

2 Lighten up, Francis.

Posted by: Rahma Jahma at February 09, 2010 03:27 PM (ci50A)

3 all Retracto needs now is Alysson Hannigan as his side-kick and there's a TV series - sort of a reality-based "Kolchak the Night Stalker" meets "Green Acres"   w/ Alysson Hannigan as the sidekick.

Posted by: BumperStickerist at February 09, 2010 03:30 PM (ruzrP)

4 Devo retracto

Posted by: Vic at February 09, 2010 03:30 PM (QrA9E)

5

Good beat, great melody, funny lyrics, very danceable..

...I give it a B+

Seriously, I listened to it...clever..love the alpaca bleat at the end

Posted by: beedubya at February 09, 2010 03:33 PM (AnTyA)

6 Retracto the Correction Alpaca forced me to issue this correction by looking at me with them "crazy-eyes."

We need to mate Retracto with the demonsheep.

Posted by: CUS at February 09, 2010 03:35 PM (wOGfT)

7

I see a certain ponytailed has been who lives under a van down by the river didn't land the bass player gig. I expect a series of "Raaaaacist" posts and threats to ban people because of this.

 

Thus, I like it even more

Posted by: eddiebear at February 09, 2010 03:37 PM (wnU1W)

8 Kinda retarded, needed more f-bombs.

Posted by: Dr. Spank at February 09, 2010 03:37 PM (0FiCa)

9 Eddiebear needs to put his own personal spin on the song.

Posted by: Dr. Spank at February 09, 2010 03:39 PM (0FiCa)

10 Domo arigato, Mr. Retracto.

Posted by: HeatherRadish at February 09, 2010 03:39 PM (mR7mk)

11

Who is this Retracto you speak of?

Posted by: CAD Daddy at February 09, 2010 03:39 PM (T400w)

12 Dude stole my gig.

Posted by: Sexual Harassment Panda at February 09, 2010 03:40 PM (1fanL)

13 I give it a 6. Nice vocals, not enough profanity.

Posted by: di butler, chick on Bandstand at February 09, 2010 03:40 PM (S3xX1)

14 It was that, when you go over 100K you get tagged at 25% that made me cringe.

Like make 99K tax burden 9.9K
Make 101K tax burden 25.25K

That's like OUCH! and much more burden than I carry for income taxes with deductions. So I guess I would still be using the old system.

Posted by: MikeTheMoose at February 09, 2010 03:40 PM (0q2P7)

15 Ryan good
Obama bad
Ace funny
Gibbs retarded

Palin hot and honest and authentic, but that's Another Story Altogether.....

How can you tell an alpaca from a llama?

Posted by: SantaRosaStan at February 09, 2010 03:42 PM (JrRME)

16

Queef Olberdouche actually had his girlfriend on the show last night.

Check her out...nice lips

..looks like she gets a real workout from Queef

Posted by: beedubya at February 09, 2010 03:43 PM (AnTyA)

17

14

Uh.  I haven't actually, you know, read it, but wouldn't the first 99k be taxed at 10%?  And the excess taxed at 25%?

Posted by: FUBAR at February 09, 2010 03:43 PM (1fanL)

18 again, you don't understand marginal rates.

25% is paid on each marginal dollar beyond 100,000.

if you make 101,000 you would pay 10,250 in taxes, not 25,000. You pay 10% on the first 100,000 and 25% on the thousand beyond 100,000.

seriously, you guys have to get this straight because I hear this a lot, and this is pretty basic, and if you say this with liberals they are going to have your lunch for it.

Posted by: ace at February 09, 2010 03:43 PM (jlvw3)

19 So I get the Ace O' Spades seal of approval then.

Posted by: FUBAR at February 09, 2010 03:45 PM (1fanL)

20 So, under his plan, I now have to wait an extra 2 years to receive my check for exactly nothing?

I can live with that.

Posted by: Herr Morgenholz at February 09, 2010 03:46 PM (5Xf3c)

21 Dude stole my gig.

Posted by: Sexual Harassment Panda at February 09, 2010 03:40 PM (1fanL)

Fuck you both.

Posted by: Dramatic Squirrel at February 09, 2010 03:48 PM (5Xf3c)

22 Hey Ace, how's the electric cigarette going?

Posted by: FUBAR at February 09, 2010 03:48 PM (1fanL)

23 >>if you make 101,000 you would pay 10,250 in taxes, not 25,000. You pay 10% on the first 100,000 and 25% on the thousand beyond 100,000.

Unless you're a democrat, then you only pay taxes when you're nominated for an executive branch position.

Posted by: Dr. Spank at February 09, 2010 03:48 PM (0FiCa)

24 Ace, how about a post on John Brennan?

Posted by: rdbrewer at February 09, 2010 03:51 PM (FNXdE)

25 the sad part is, when FUBAR is ready to retire in 2025, his income will be $1,000,000 per year. After taxes, inflation and mandatory medical insurance, it'll spend like $1.98.

Posted by: mark c at February 09, 2010 03:52 PM (SBIko)

26 Hey I understand marginal rates just fine. Nothing in the post said anything about marginal income greater than 100K just incomes greater than 100K. Different sentence different meaning. I thought and I hoped he meant the former. But the whole thing had a very flat tax feel, so without that reassuring word I thought the latter. The literal meaning of what he said, was flat tax. If he wanted to imply marginal without saying it he should have dropped the erudite plural form of income (incomes) and said income greater than 100k would be taxed at 25% instead of incomes greater than 100K would be taxed at 25%.


Posted by: MikeTheMoose at February 09, 2010 03:53 PM (0q2P7)

27 Insert obligatory Monty Python "llama" reference here.

Posted by: Circa (Insert Year Here) at February 09, 2010 03:53 PM (B+qrE)

28

Aren't alpacas just four-legged Ewoks?

Posted by: andycanuck at February 09, 2010 03:56 PM (2qU2d)

29

Dr Spank:

 

Sorry. I don't want to have ace lose his ad revenue by my "personal" spin on the song. But a lotsa F Bombs and Korean knifey references would ensue.

Posted by: eddiebear at February 09, 2010 03:57 PM (wnU1W)

30 We need to mate Retracto with the demonsheep.

That is spider clown wrong. 

Posted by: alexthechick at February 09, 2010 03:58 PM (8WZWv)

31 seriously, you guys have to get this straight because I hear this a lot, and this is pretty basic, and if you say this with liberals they are going to have your lunch for it.

Bullshit.  Those pussies don't eat bacon.

Posted by: Herr Morgenholz at February 09, 2010 03:59 PM (5Xf3c)

32

That is spider clown wrong.

I may never sleep again.

Posted by: Circa (Insert Year Here) at February 09, 2010 04:00 PM (B+qrE)

33 I sure wish I knew where to find a replica watch.

Posted by: hinky at February 09, 2010 04:00 PM (BIyWH)

34

How can you tell an alpaca from a llama?

Five inches.

Posted by: peruvian novelty act at February 09, 2010 04:01 PM (2qU2d)

35

alpacas are actually not very friendly.

 

Don't ask me how I know

Posted by: eddiebear at February 09, 2010 04:01 PM (wnU1W)

36

alpacas are actually not very friendly.

 

Don't ask me how I know

Posted by: eddiebear at February 09, 2010 04:01 PM (wnU1W)

Sugar cubes.

Don't ask me how I know.

Posted by: Herr Morgenholz at February 09, 2010 04:04 PM (5Xf3c)

37 Means testing discourages savings, as does the estate tax.  It also means that all your contributions to Social security and medicare are confiscated y the government for the benefit of someone else, who may turn out to have been a dumbfuck who pissed all his money away at the casino.  Means testing will never work.

Posted by: dan in michigan at February 09, 2010 04:04 PM (wginH)

38 Alpacas just kind of lay there.

Posted by: sifty at February 09, 2010 04:05 PM (d3PgX)

39 More cowbell!

Posted by: Retracto at February 09, 2010 04:05 PM (2X8VA)

40 Means testing will never work.

Posted by: dan in michigan at February 09, 2010 04:04 PM (wginH)

So you are saying it's a perfect solution for the politicians.

Posted by: lorien1973 at February 09, 2010 04:09 PM (IhQuA)

41

Paul Ryan's plan is the typical BS commie-lite program favored by all the Republican squishes.

How about this Mr. Ryan - quit spending damn money. That will balance the budget.

Posted by: Vic at February 09, 2010 04:09 PM (QrA9E)

42 Posted by: Dramatic Squirrel at February 09, 2010 03:48 PM (5Xf3c)

Mate, you just had a spot in a superbowl commercial. Bugger off.

Posted by: Geico Gecko at February 09, 2010 04:10 PM (lSuMX)

43 38 Alpacas just kind of lay there.

Posted by: sifty at February 09, 2010 04:05 PM (d3PgX)

Aren't you going to tell us not to ask you how you know that?

Posted by: conscious, but incoherent at February 09, 2010 04:11 PM (Vu6sl)

44 The alpaca haz a dress with no sleeves....

Posted by: duncan at February 09, 2010 04:11 PM (gjUaP)

45

You morons need to go to RedStateUpdate & see their latest vid about the John Edwards sex tape.  It's hilarious.  NSFW language.

http://tinyurl.com/ya5bz66

Posted by: CAD Daddy at February 09, 2010 04:12 PM (T400w)

46 All this talk of llamas and alpacas and sheep and pandas is making me horny.  Do they have ginormous mammaries?

Posted by: Randi Andi at February 09, 2010 04:13 PM (1fanL)

47 Wait...spider clown!?!

Are you kidding me?

Posted by: Kensington at February 09, 2010 04:13 PM (BGpfF)

48 Lets be honest, alpacas are dirty whores who are asking for it. It had to be said.

Posted by: Dr. Spank at February 09, 2010 04:14 PM (0FiCa)

49 My correction alpaca has no nose.

Posted by: Kensington at February 09, 2010 04:14 PM (BGpfF)

50

The unfriendliest of all barnyard animals, hands down, is Shetland Ponies.

Don't ask don't tell...

Posted by: Sgt. Fury at February 09, 2010 04:15 PM (CVZGO)

51 Sheep lie.

Posted by: sifty at February 09, 2010 04:18 PM (d3PgX)

52 Hey ACE, talking about Scandi prisons, watch this:

http://www.nrk.no/nyheter/distrikt/ostfold/1.6986370

Posted by: magnus magnusson at February 09, 2010 04:19 PM (SfpsN)

53 Goats never pick-up a check, even on the 1st date. And they lie right to your face when you ask where they've been all night. And don't even get me started on their hygiene issues. Hey goats, ever heard of a razor?

Posted by: Dr. Spank at February 09, 2010 04:22 PM (0FiCa)

54 Fuckin' cloven-hooved, mountain-dwelling fucks.

Posted by: grognard at February 09, 2010 04:23 PM (v0kvW)

55

http://tinyurl.com/yb6tetf

“We are treated as though we are children,” says the head of a large organisation that raised millions of dollars for Mr Obama’s campaign. “Our advice is never sought. We are only told: ‘This is the message, please get it out.

 

The same can be observed in foreign policy. On Mr Obama’s November trip to China, members of the cabinet such as the Nobel prizewinning Stephen Chu, energy secretary, were left cooling their heels while Mr Gibbs, Mr Axelrod and Ms Jarrett were constantly at the president’s side.

But, as journalists were keenly aware, none of Mr Obama’s inner circle had any background in China. “We were about 40 vans down in the motorcade and got barely any time with the president,” says a senior official with extensive knowledge of the region. “It was like the Obama campaign was visiting China.”

Posted by: dastardly willow at February 09, 2010 04:24 PM (7FgWm)

56 spiderclowns. like the bad guy in king's IT. an evil child eating clown that is in actuality a giant spider demon thing

Posted by: errhead at February 09, 2010 04:25 PM (rXJPt)

57 Alpacas just kind of lay there.

Yep.

Posted by: Pablo at February 09, 2010 04:25 PM (yTndK)

58 The chick who does the lead vocals on the Retracto song has that cute-hot/nerdy look...with glasses!!

Posted by: beedubya at February 09, 2010 04:26 PM (AnTyA)

59

My correction alpaca has no nose.

How does it smell???

Posted by: andycanuck at February 09, 2010 04:28 PM (2qU2d)

60
speaking of nerdy chicks who sing and wear nerdy glasses...

Remember LISA LOBE?

Posted by: This is Kisselwing Plover at February 09, 2010 04:28 PM (z37MR)

61 It also means that all your contributions to Social security and medicare are confiscated y the government for the benefit of someone else, who may turn out to have been a dumbfuck who pissed all his money away at the casino.


...how's that different from what's happening today, exactly?

Posted by: Michelle O at February 09, 2010 04:32 PM (mR7mk)

62

Remember LISA LOBE

Actually it's Loeb...and yes..call me weird, but she's my idea of fucking hot!!

Posted by: beedubya at February 09, 2010 04:32 PM (AnTyA)

63 Bad part about those cute/hot/nerdy types is sometimes they are hiding armpit afros under that chic black t-shirt.


Posted by: sifty at February 09, 2010 04:32 PM (d3PgX)

64

I heard that chickens are easy.

Posted by: eddiebear at February 09, 2010 04:32 PM (wnU1W)

65 Vic @ 41 - you've won my heart.

Posted by: Ella at February 09, 2010 04:32 PM (WPjES)

66 Out, dammned sock.


Posted by: HeatherRadish at February 09, 2010 04:33 PM (mR7mk)

67

Ace - Fem Hobo Slayer, and Scourge of the Low Hanging Fruit.

Posted by: garrett at February 09, 2010 04:34 PM (EFn85)

68

O/T but got to get this off my furry alpacas: 

The Moral Majority is neither.

This is the moonbat bumpersticker I saw on the way home last night. My first thought was that this whack-job has obviously never been here. Second, was if she thought indentured slavery thru the nanny state was moral. Third...has this bitch ever traveled outta of the NY/NJ tri-state area and talked to any one other than fellow moonbats. And finally, If I run her off the road into a ditch, how many years will I get. 

eeesh... hope i don't see her tonight.

thats all...back to the Llama lovin.

thank you

 

Posted by: dananjcon at February 09, 2010 04:35 PM (pr+up)

69 Speaking of fucking animals:  http://tinyurl.com/ybn52b4
What are they up to?

Posted by: Herr Morgenholz at February 09, 2010 04:35 PM (5Xf3c)

70

you've won my heart.

Thanks

Posted by: Vic at February 09, 2010 04:35 PM (QrA9E)

71

Actually it's Loeb...

Posted by: beedubya Retardo the Correction Chimp

===========================

oh, okay, thanks

Posted by: This is Kisselwing Plover at February 09, 2010 04:37 PM (z37MR)

72
a lotta fags used to drive around with a The Reiligious Right Is Neither bumper sticker. Haven't seen one in about 9 year, though.

Posted by: This is Kisselwing Plover at February 09, 2010 04:38 PM (z37MR)

73

69 Speaking of fucking animals:

"Just had to stand here on the crate..."

 

Posted by: garrett at February 09, 2010 04:39 PM (EFn85)

74

Posted by: beedubya Retardo the Correction Chimp

 

B+

Posted by: beedubya at February 09, 2010 04:39 PM (AnTyA)

75 If you eliminated all non-defense discretionary spending in the budget, it still would not be balanced.

Posted by: Dr. Spank at February 09, 2010 04:39 PM (0FiCa)

Posted by: Dang Straights at February 09, 2010 04:41 PM (fx8sm)

Posted by: garrett at February 09, 2010 04:42 PM (EFn85)

78 Herr,  preparation for more Embassy take-overs? by Ahmadinejad  and crew?

Posted by: dastardly willow at February 09, 2010 04:42 PM (7FgWm)

79 Paul Ryan's plan is the typical BS commie-lite program favored by all the Republican squishes. Posted by: Vic


I'm reading through the summary. What part is Communist?

Posted by: Iskandar at February 09, 2010 04:43 PM (/o58C)

80
preparation for more Embassy take-overs? by Ahmadinejad  and crew?


Hmm, reenacting the 'revolution' again by taking over some embassies on the 11th?  Sounds like something rational nation-states do.

Posted by: Dang Straights at February 09, 2010 04:44 PM (fx8sm)

81 76
a mere pittance for this mob!

Posted by: garrett at February 09, 2010 04:44 PM (EFn85)

82 Dang, o-hell where's Carter when we need em  (total satire) i guess Obama will do as well

Posted by: dastardly willow at February 09, 2010 04:45 PM (7FgWm)

83

I think we could eliminate this entire conversation if we created voter more restrictions. Yes I said it. Anyhoo, some sample questions:

1. Do you believe any one candidate can pay your gas and/or mortgage?

yes/no

2. Have you filed a tax return in the past three years?

yes/no

3. Do you plan your vacations around attending Comic Con?

yes/no

If you answer yes, no, and yes, from any of those questions, you're disqualified from casting the vote.

Easy peasy.

Posted by: laceyunderalls at February 09, 2010 04:45 PM (Ywp/O)

84 The girls get shirts!!!


Retraction: The GUYS get shirts! Don't make a maniac out of me.

Posted by: Houdini's Cadaver at February 09, 2010 04:46 PM (nz654)

85

I'm reading through the summary. What part is Communist?

It is basically a tax increase and turns SS into another welfare program.

Posted by: Vic at February 09, 2010 04:46 PM (QrA9E)

86 Since odumbass plans is to model us after a 3rd world country, when will we have our 1st coup de etat?

Posted by: 'Nam Grunt at February 09, 2010 04:47 PM (WeDcz)

87
Hmm, reenacting the 'revolution' again by taking over some embassies on the 11th?  Sounds like something rational nation-states do.

Posted by: Dang Straights at February 09, 2010 04:44 PM (fx8sm)

I've heard rumors that the UK embassy is on the agenda.

Given the recent machinations by the various powers in the region, the desperate state of the mullahs, the nuclear question, and everything else, I think the regime is looking for a galvanizing event to consolidate power.

That and they're batshit, fullbore, weapons-grade squirrel bait.

Posted by: Herr Morgenholz at February 09, 2010 04:47 PM (5Xf3c)

88

41 Paul Ryan's plan is the typical BS commie-lite program favored by all the Republican squishes.

How about this Mr. Ryan - quit spending damn money. That will balance the budget. - --Vic


Cry for help in a world gone mad!

Posted by: kathysaysso at February 09, 2010 04:47 PM (ZtwUX)

89 Just be glad you didn't arouse the wrath of Syntacto, the Giant Grammar Squid.

Posted by: George Orwell at February 09, 2010 04:48 PM (AZGON)

90

BTW - Dig'n the neu hash!

(Slayer - fn '85!!!)

Posted by: garrett at February 09, 2010 04:48 PM (EFn85)

91 Since odumbass plans is to model us after a 3rd world country, when will we have our 1st coup de etat?

Posted by: 'Nam Grunt at February 09, 2010 04:47 PM (WeDcz)

November 8, 2008.

Posted by: Herr Morgenholz at February 09, 2010 04:48 PM (5Xf3c)

92 Wrong thread fail, frick!

Posted by: laceyunderalls at February 09, 2010 04:49 PM (Ywp/O)

93 Just be glad you didn't arouse the wrath of Syntacto, the Giant Grammar Squid.

Posted by: George Orwell at February 09, 2010 04:48 PM (AZGON)

Fuck him.

Posted by: Calamari the Giant Vat of Batter at February 09, 2010 04:49 PM (5Xf3c)

94

75

The effing boomers are our public sector unions.  Vote themselves huge unsustainable bennies, and screw everyone else.

Posted by: FUBAR at February 09, 2010 04:49 PM (1fanL)

95 Wrong thread fail, frick!

HA HA!

Posted by: Nelson Muntz, Moron at February 09, 2010 04:50 PM (5Xf3c)

96

83

Addendum:

Have you had Tater Tot in the last 48 hrs.?

Posted by: garrett at February 09, 2010 04:51 PM (EFn85)

97

Somebody had a 'dh/cp' hash this morning.  I lulz'd.

Posted by: Dang Straights at February 09, 2010 04:51 PM (fx8sm)

98

Have you had Tater Tot in the last 48 hrs.?

Posted by: garrett at February 09, 2010 04:51 PM (EFn85)

Leave my family out of it.

Posted by: Ron White at February 09, 2010 04:52 PM (5Xf3c)

99 I think dinnerfarkhead is going to release a sex tape of him, odumbass and gibbs in a threesome on Thur.

Posted by: 'Nam Grunt at February 09, 2010 04:52 PM (WeDcz)

100

Herr, I didn't see you outside my house shoveling. *taps foot*

That's okay. We have another round starting up in about an hour so I'll see in a few. I've got beer.

Posted by: laceyunderalls at February 09, 2010 04:52 PM (Ywp/O)

101 Beware the baleful eye of Brian, the Dennehymon, jealous god of Bandwidth.

Posted by: George Orwell at February 09, 2010 04:54 PM (AZGON)

102 Breaking: SEIU thug Craig Becker's confirmation to the NLRB failed to receive a cloture vote per FNC.

Posted by: Reiver at February 09, 2010 04:54 PM (WvQhL)

103

Have you had Tater Tot in the last 48 hrs.?

What are you talking about? Tater tots are awesome. Gaaawwwwd.

Posted by: Napoleon Dynamite, drawin' ligers at February 09, 2010 04:55 PM (Ywp/O)

104

 Wrong thread fail, frick!

 Whore!

Posted by: This Thread at February 09, 2010 04:55 PM (EFn85)

105

Napoleon Dynamite, drawin' ligers

That makes a total of 13 refs to this movie in the past 72 hrs. for me.  Friends, morons, famiy... I have no idea what this move is or is about...

Posted by: garrett at February 09, 2010 04:57 PM (EFn85)

106 100 lacey,

Glad you have beer, stop shoveling that crap until it's done, I learned that through 5 winters in Chicago. I have to wait another hour before I make one of my famous beer runs, which usually ends up in more food than I need or can eat.

Posted by: 'Nam Grunt at February 09, 2010 04:57 PM (WeDcz)

107
102
Craig Becker invokes Michael Dukakto, mighty god of Fail.

Posted by: George Orwell at February 09, 2010 04:59 PM (AZGON)

108

laceyunderalls at February 09, 2010 04:52 PM (Ywp/O)

"come shovel my snow" - is that what the kids are calling it these days?  I used to call it "bumping uglies."

Now: "shoving a marshmallow into a coin slot."

Posted by: FUBAR at February 09, 2010 04:59 PM (1fanL)

109 It is basically a tax increase and turns SS into another welfare program. Posted by: Vic Posted by: Vic

What increase in taxes?
Current Code Taxpayers. Those choosing the current code will pay their income taxes with existing tax forms, the current set of exemptions, exclusions, deductions, and credits; but the alternative minimum tax [AMT] is eliminated.

Or

Individuals Choosing Simplified Tax. The new Simplified Tax broadens the tax base by clearing out nearly all of the existing tax deductions and credits, compresses the tax schedule down to two low rates, and retains a generous standard deduction and personal exemption.

If you choose the current code, your tax won't change.

Posted by: Iskandar at February 09, 2010 05:00 PM (/o58C)

110

105 What??

Netflix is your friend.

Vote for Summer!

Posted by: laceyunderalls at February 09, 2010 05:01 PM (Ywp/O)

111

Oh, great!  So now that I have paid my taxes for 45 or 50 years to support these as non-means-tested programs, Ryan proposes to make them mean-tested programs like welfare, which means that I will get...

nothing.

I would be more upset about a Republican proposing such a monumentally stupid idea except that it is such an obvious non-starter.

Posted by: cool breeze at February 09, 2010 05:02 PM (hdCWG)

112

106  Yeah, I stocked up last Thursday before it hit. I haven't driven my car in five days. Goin' a tad bit batty at this point. Got the beer in case I could entice my neighbor to shovel and hit the ATM to get some scratch in case one of the neighborhood kids wanted too tackle it for me!

Posted by: laceyunderalls at February 09, 2010 05:04 PM (Ywp/O)

113 Since we're in a "retracto" thread, I must sheepishly admit (okay, I don't really care) that I did not clean up my PC yesterday.

I haven't even dumped my cache. Or cached my dump. My history goes back seven days or more, and you can still see the stupid favicon of huffington post (due to some right-side blogger not being sanitary when providing links).

I have blurry photos on my hard drive of my feet, taken when trying to adjust my camera six years ago.  I have documents saved that I will never read.

I don't care anymore.  Obama's gonna fix everything, and all I need to do is write down a few important items.  Somewhere I won't miss them.  Maybe on my leg.

It's all because I don't travel in a segway with teleprompter on-board, telling me where to find my ass.

When I'm in charge, things will be different.

Posted by: K~Bob at February 09, 2010 05:05 PM (9b6FB)

114 which means that I will get...

nothing.

Posted by: cool breeze 

beneficiaries with incomes above $200,000 ($400,000 for couples) receive 30 percent.

Look, it ain't perfect, but how much would you expect when the whole thing blows up in 2016? As crazy as it sounds, 30% is greater than nothing.

Posted by: Iskandar at February 09, 2010 05:07 PM (/o58C)

115

111

That's where you would take a hit for the good of the country.

Posted by: FUBAR at February 09, 2010 05:08 PM (1fanL)

116 By the way, folks, up here just south of the border (from the Great White North, that is), we are finally getting a major winter storm.

It comes with four inches of fresh snow already on the ground, and it's supposed to last till 10am tomorrow, leaving 8 to 10 more inches.

I'm glad we aren't using millimeters here.

Posted by: K~Bob at February 09, 2010 05:08 PM (9b6FB)

117 Herr, I didn't see you outside my house shoveling. *taps foot*

We got another 4 or 5 today.  Supposed to catch another 3-4 overnight.
Where I live I can see the traffic on I-71.  I ain't driving down there in this shit.

Wait.  Did you say beer?

Posted by: Herr Morgenholz at February 09, 2010 05:12 PM (5Xf3c)

118

You act like you thought those taxes were going into your personal retirement account.  You didn't, did you?

Then really, you aren't owed anything.

Posted by: FUBAR at February 09, 2010 05:14 PM (1fanL)

119

Posted by: Iskandar at February 09, 2010 05:00 PM (/o58C)

A simplified tax code, consisting of a two-bracket income tax with a large standard deduction and a business consumption tax, would pay for a means-tested safety net, and a system of tax credits, risk pools and low-income subsidies would underwrite a free (or, well, somewhat freer) market in health care.

You left out the VAT tax which obviously will be passed on to individuals.

Posted by: Vic at February 09, 2010 05:16 PM (QrA9E)

120

Lacey, you're clever and resourceful. I like that in a woman,

Do you cook, scrub floors and wash windows?

Posted by: Up Periscope at February 09, 2010 05:17 PM (ITzbJ)

121 Most of my proposed budget would be for the personnel necessary to turn back any idea that ever crossed the minds of FDR, JFK, and any douchebag that has held office since Reconstruction.

The rest would be a military that can eviscerate China in 45 minutes.

Posted by: Herr Morgenholz at February 09, 2010 05:19 PM (5Xf3c)

122

Best thing about Valentine's Day????

Pajamagram commercial with that red headed babe taking off her clothes.

Posted by: Vic at February 09, 2010 05:21 PM (QrA9E)

123 120 It's not called resourceful--it's called lazy.

Posted by: laceyunderalls at February 09, 2010 05:24 PM (Ywp/O)

124 The rest would be a military that can eviscerate China in 45 minutes.

Posted by: Herr Morgenholz at February 09, 2010 05:19 PM

We already have this.

 

Posted by: FUBAR at February 09, 2010 05:26 PM (1fanL)

125

You left out the VAT tax which obviously will be passed on to individuals.

Posted by: Vic

▫ Business Consumption Tax. Eliminates the current corporate income tax and replaces it with a Business Consumption Tax of 8.5 percent on goods and services.

Can't say I'm a fan of VAT's but you'd have to work out what the difference is between that and our 35% biz tax on profits which are already passed on to the consumer.

Again, the enemy of the good is the perfect.

Posted by: Iskandar at February 09, 2010 05:28 PM (/o58C)

126

So you're saying that you don't clean bathrooms?

We'll try to remember to put down the toilet seat for you.

Posted by: Up Periscope at February 09, 2010 05:29 PM (ITzbJ)

127

 Eliminates the current corporate income tax and replaces it with a Business Consumption Tax of 8.5 percent on goods and services.

There is nothing in thast article that says anything about elliminating the current tax or that the VAT is 8.5%,

Posted by: Vic at February 09, 2010 05:36 PM (QrA9E)

128

30% is greater than nothing.
Posted by: Iskandar

Totally not buying it, and neither will enough voters like me for it to have a snowball's chance in hell of ever happening.

I know the system is going broke, but fixing it is going to have to involve everyone sharing the pain, not exempting the usual Democratic welfare state demographic.

Posted by: cool breeze at February 09, 2010 05:37 PM (hdCWG)

129 We need a Republican president that thinks like Obama does; one who will confiscate Ted Turner's and Bill Gate's wealth, and use it to pay off the debt.

Posted by: Open outer doors at February 09, 2010 05:45 PM (ITzbJ)

130 Man, I've made it, big time.
A stupid song I wrote is on my favorite blog.
BTW, Ace, we've met.
BTWBTW, that nerdy chick's my wife. I agree . She's hot.
I'd hit it

Posted by: Gary Eaton at February 09, 2010 05:50 PM (XOgpE)

131 Don't you wonder if Ted Kennedy and John Murtha had the same screwy doctor?

Posted by: Open outer doors at February 09, 2010 05:51 PM (ITzbJ)

132 confiscate Ted Turner's and Bill Gate's wealth, and use it to pay off the debt.

Posted by: Open outer doors at February 09, 2010 05:45 PM (ITzbJ)

Liberal democracies give way to dictatorships. Just stand by.

Posted by: Rodent Freikorps at February 09, 2010 05:59 PM (dQdrY)

133

I really don't see how conservatives could oppose Ryan's plan.  If the plan were instituted (as a whole), Medicare and Social Security would effectively be transformed from welfare-state monstrosities to personal wealth builders.

His plan to dramatically expand MSA's and to offer vouchers (of around $11,000 a person / sliding scale based on income and medical history) to encourage those 55 and up to purchase their own insurance would be a godsend. 

That, and I really like the idea of taking a third of my Social Security money and putting it in a personal account. 

Of course, I'm not a fat, lazy, degenerate Baby Boomer who expects my children and grandchildren (who are struggling to survive in a  high-tax, low-growth, socialistic economy) to powder my a$$ and pay for my Viagra and Botox.

Posted by: stickety at February 09, 2010 06:01 PM (8Ev54)

134

"Liberal democracies give way to dictatorships. Just stand by" - RF

It'll never happen. This isn't a banana republic. Have more faith in your countrymen.

Posted by: Open outer doors at February 09, 2010 06:06 PM (ITzbJ)

135

There is nothing in that article that says anything about eliminating the current tax or that the VAT is 8.5%,

Posted by: Vic

The plan has it's own website.

TITLE VI: BUSINESS CONSUMPTION TAX

Posted by: Iskandar at February 09, 2010 06:22 PM (/o58C)

136

Well then, that is a different animal all together.

Makes you wonder why the commies are "praising it".

Posted by: Vic at February 09, 2010 06:33 PM (QrA9E)

137

"Best thing about Valentine's Day???? Pajamagram commercial with that red headed babe taking off her clothes."  - Vic

 

But, but, but, Vic, she might be one of those (dare I say it?) -  liberals.  Yikes.

If so, will you boycott Pajamagrams?

Posted by: Open outer doors at February 09, 2010 06:35 PM (ITzbJ)

138

I know the system is going broke, but fixing it is going to have to involve everyone sharing the pain, not exempting the usual Democratic welfare state demographic.

Posted by: cool breeze

Medicare wise, FICA and SECA are still intact. All wage earners pay one of those. Further, portable and interstate insurance will have dramatic effect in reducing costs all around. In my mind that makes up for the slight increase in the benefits for those at the bottom. And those at the bottom, if we continue with reforms such as welfare reform, will be cycling out of the lower ranks and joining the middle ones as they get back on a career-track.

If the summary is to be believed spreading out the pain is their goal in the 2nd income tax option. Only two rates: 10% up to 50k for single a filer (100k married), and then 25% thereafter. If you're in the top brackets, it looks like a big ass tax cut to me.

Posted by: Iskandar at February 09, 2010 06:41 PM (/o58C)

139

Makes you wonder why the commies are "praising it".

Posted by: Vic

Because Cool Breeze is right on this point; it'll never make it out of committee.

Posted by: Iskandar at February 09, 2010 06:43 PM (/o58C)

140 Because Cool Breeze is right on this point; it'll never make it out of committee.

Posted by: Iskandar

Exactly right, and you should rejoice that it is so.  Although I agree with some of the ideas packaged in Ryan's unbelievably sweeping proposal, none of them are worth the slightest further expansion of the welfare state.  Something like 45% of the people in this country pay no federal taxes now and the Democrats are working very hard to get this, their constituency, above 50%.

At which point it is ballgame - Democrats and welfare state socialism rule forever.

The last thing we need is a Republican proposing something like this to get them over the tipping point.  Paul Ryan's proposal is a wolf in sheep's clothing.

Posted by: cool breeze at February 09, 2010 07:55 PM (hdCWG)

141 Dear Gary Eaton-
You need to record an entire counter counter culture CD. Love Retracto.

Posted by: elliot m at February 09, 2010 07:55 PM (rHQQw)

142 I have an incandescent loathing for "means testing" SSI.
Scenario 1:  Responsible Robert begins saving in his IRA as soon as he gets his first job.  As he makes more over the years, he always "pays himself first" and maxes out the contributions.  He keeps his cars for 7 or 8 years, buys a house of reasonable size, enjoys life but doesn't live beyond his means by way of massive home equity loans and credit card debt.  This means he doesn't have his co-worker Party Girl Patty's $50,000 boat, $75,000 RV, and vacations at Club Med, but he retires with a fat IRA and even more savings outside of it.
Scenario 2:  Party Girl Patty starts her work career by blowing every nickle she has every month, and maxing her credit cards as well.  She never puts a penny into an IRA or bothers with her company's 401(k) matching contribution plan.  She has no other investments.  She takes that money and parties!  Woo-hoo!  New leased car every year, the above mentioned toys, a huge McMansion (stripped of equity by ongoing home equity loans), trips to Las Vegas, all the fun stuff.
Now they retire.  Robert is set for a relaxing retirement filled with cruises, vacations, fishing.  Patty has nothing saved, and her house has no equity in it.  She's practically broke.  The government, in its mercy, steps in, means-tests Robert out of his SSI contributions, and gives them all to Patty.
Now, what lesson has been learned here?  How will Robert's son handle his own retirement savings?

(Note: The character of Responsible Robert has nothing to do with me.  Really.  I swear.  It might bias my fucking assessment.)

Posted by: Nemo from Erewhon at February 09, 2010 08:06 PM (57N+j)

143 You left out the new tax that they levied on both Responsible Robert and Party Girl Patty to "fund the program".  A tax that will be increasd every year because the "program" is always "going broke".

Posted by: Vic at February 09, 2010 08:30 PM (QrA9E)

144 "My Correction Alpaca has no nose.
'How does it smell???'"

It can't smell.  It has no nose.

*ba doomp*

Posted by: Kensington at February 10, 2010 12:30 AM (BGpfF)

145 @ Elliot - Good idea.
Have I mentioned that this is one of my favorite sites EVER and my head exploded when I saw this goofy song linked here?
I'm in awe of the intertubes

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