1 /thread

2
Somebody posted a pretty simple cheesy biscuit recipe earlier this week, if you're gonna get your carb on that's the way to do it.  I'd throw in some jalepenos, too.  And maybe a little sausage or bacon. 


mmm, kolaches

3 OK, you've convinced me. I had thought about Anchoress's pumpkin bread pudding, but this one has the wonderful advantage of being easier.

My family, for the record, banned three-bean salad years ago. Negotiations are underway in regards to deviled eggs.

4 Be wary of accepting recipes from James Cameron's Avatar fanboy. Why, it has Zoe Saldana and Giovanni Ribisi.

5

This butternut squash recipe I found online the other day turned out pretty well, and was easy to make: http://tiny.cc/wJfZN. Technically a vegetable, but tastes like candy. It would probably be even better with sweet potatoes.

6
As the only-meat eating member of a Hindu family, I'll be eating veggies for Thanksgiving.

AVENGE ME!!!

7 Get some graham crackers, the kind with cinnamon sugar on one side.  Get a can of whipped frosting (I forget the brand name).  Apply frosting to the side of the crackers without sugar.  Eat.

8
You poor, poor bastard. 

9 I've been wondering for awhile now: Is 'Gabe' actually a chick?

10 Here's my recipe for an actual pumpkin cheesecake.

11 How about this one, a really sweet veggie recipe?

3 sweet potatoes,  the orange kind.
1 stick of butter (don't necessarily use is all)
1 cup brown sugar.
salt and pepper.

This takes cooking, but very worthwhile.
Peel the potatoes and slice lengthwise, about 1/4'' thick slices.

In a heavy deep pan over medium heat, melt enough butter to cover bottom of pan.
Then put down a layer of potato slices, dot with more butter, sprinkle generously with sugar and a dash of salt and pepper.

Repeat these layers until you've used up all the potatoes. It's ok if you haven't used up all the butter and sugar, of course feel free to do so.

Cover the pan and cook on medium heat for about half and hour, you will want to check from time to time if the slices are soft. When the bottom layer is, use a spatula and flip the order. Yes, the slices will fall apart, who cares! Once on the plate next to the turkey it doesn't matter how perfect the slices look, it matters that they are incredibly yummy.

Enjoy and a Happy Thanksgiving to everyone.

12 VEGGIES!

ON THANKSGIVING!

VEGGIES!

13 I believe the traditional AoS Thanksgiving spread is:

1 750ml bottle Val-u-rite Vodka
1 Big Gulp cup (preferably from dumpster)
1 hobo

Empty vodka into cup; consume.  Murder hobo with empty bottle.

14 I like both of these recipes, although I think I'd prefer this dip with Nilla Vanilla wafers, rather than ginger snaps. Thanks, Gabe!

15

Recipe for Thanksgiving "possom:

1. Shoot, skin, and gut one large bug and persimmon fed possom.

2. Obtain 12" or so of new white oak plant, about 1" thick will do.

3. Place prepared possom on plank and place in oven preheated to 375 deg. F.

4. Cover with foil and bake possom and plank for 1 hour and 35 minutes or until internal temperature (gut cavity) reaches 160 deg. F.

5 Peel back foil and allow possom to brown.

6. Remove from oven, scrape possom into trash can and eat plank.

16
Forget the football game(s), Phelps.

17 I have recipe for buttered nut squash:

2 nuts
1lb butter
1 ball peen hammer

18 How timely!   Today is "Thanksgivingus" in the Y-not household.  Thanksgivingus is akin to Festivus (minus any areligious our anti-religious sentiments). 

We have always lived far (or very far) away from our families, so we never got in the habit of traveling for T-day.  The two times we did so were unmitigated travel nightmares.  This has meant that Thanksgiving, although lacking in the happy feelings associated with seeing family, is blessfully devoid of the annoying and upsetting components of the family get together.  (In my family's case, these are considerable.)  So when friends and colleagues are telling us with some angst about their travel and dinner plans, we can sit quietly and sympathetically in the knowledge that we won't have all that stress.

In recent years we've added an innovation: we have our turkey on Wednesday.  That way I'm not struggling with cooking a big meal while the parade and football games are on.  Instead, Thanksgiving-proper is spent in our jim-jams enjoying left overs. 

It's bitchin'.

Now I'd love to provide recipes, but unfortunately this year Mr. Y-not foolishly decided to have a check-up last week and being a 40-something desk-jockey, this of course resulted in a finding of high glucose and high triglycerides.  So last week we started a diet and today I am trying to modify traditional recipes to make them low fat, low carb, high fiber.  Not that fun...

So perhaps a la Seinfeld this year we will add the "airing of the grievances" to Thankgivingus! 

;-) 

19
Remove from oven, scrape possom into trash can and eat plank.

Hilarious.  Wondered where you were going with that.

20

Truman's Holiday Bundt Cake

1. Take a Bundt cake, like you buy in the store

2. Sprinkle some confectioner's sugar on top.

3. Serve.  Very festive!

 

Truman's Holiday Egg Nog

1. Take some egg nog, like you buy in the store

2. Pour it in a bowl.

3. Sprinkle some nutmeg on top.

4. Serve.  Very festive!

21 In terms of a recipe, this is so simple but perhaps some have not heard of it. 

Cut butternut squash (acorn works as well) in half.  Remove seeds.  Dab in some butter (or, alas for me now, some Benecol Light) and a sprig of fresh rosemary.  Wrap tightly in foil.  Put on grill at medium-high heat.  Roast until tender (15 minutes'ish, depending on size). 

Very nice (if you like rosemary). 

22 A really good appetizer (not just for Thanksgiving) which due to the ingredients soaks up/goes great with beer is "Romaki" ( unsure of spelling).

Get a package or two of bacon and cut the slices in half.  With each half slice, wrap it around (1) a whole water chestnut and/or (2) a large smoked oyster and pin it together with a wooden toothpick.  Place them on  foil bended up around the edges(because it is messy due to the grease and cleanup is easier), shove in the oven and bake at 375 for a half hour or so until the bacon is well cooked (I like it really crispy).  They are killer and company will be impressed.

Happy Thanksgiving to all.

23 1 750ml bottle Val-u-rite Vodka
1 Big Gulp cup (preferably from dumpster)
1 hobo

It passes the Vegetarian test.  It may even be Vegan.

24 VEGGIES!

ON THANKSGIVING!

VEGGIES!

Hey, you have to have something to hold the piles of meat apart.

25

Truman's Holiday Egg Nog

You left out the rum. The store-bought nog doesn't have rum.

26

As the only-meat eating member of a Hindu family

I can't even imagine.  My family crest is a T-bone steak with crossed knife and fork.  Turkey is a stretch and only done at Thanksgiving.

27 Yummo. Gimme that vodka! I couldn't think of a veggie recipe anyone wouldn't already know, but I figured those looking for finger foods would enjoy this one:

Ham and chicken cream cheese roll ups

1 8 ounce package cream cheese, softened
1 teaspoon garlic powder or granulated garlic
1/4 teaspoon liquid smoke (mesquite or hickory whatever you likes)
dash ground black pepper to taste
ham, chicken, whatever flavor wafer thin lunch meats or thin sliced deli meats you like (I don't give amounts because it depends on how thin you spread the cream cheese)

Using a mixer, whip the cream cheese until soft, then add the garlic, smoke and pepper and whip until completely mixed.

Spread the cream cheese mixture VERY thin on slices of the ham or chicken, then lightly roll the meat up to make a pencil-thin roll. Continue this process until you run out of cream cheese. Place roll ups on a plate, cover completely, chill and serve.

This recipe sounds really weird, but try it. Make sure the cream cheese mixture is VERY soft when you spread it, allow it to come to room temp if necessary or you'll rip the meats. A bit labor intensive, but worth the effort. They won't last long so you might need to double the recipe.

Oh... and they go VERY well with ripe olives which have been served at the end of your fingertips.

28 Pumpkin Bundt cake with caramel glaze

1 box yellow cake mix
4 eggs
1/2 cup oil
3/4 cup water
1 cup canned pumpkin
2 tsp cinnamon
1 tsp ginger
1/2 tsp. ground cloves

Mix all ingredients 2 minutes at medium speed. Pour into greased and floured Bundt pan and bake 50 minutes at 350 degrees or until knife comes out clean. Remove from oven and cool 15 minutes before removing from pan. Allow cake to cool completely before glazing.

Quick caramel glaze

Melt 1 stick butter. Add 1/2 cup packed dark brown sugar and bring to a boil, stirring constantly. Remove from heat and beat in 1 cup sifted 10x powdered sugar. Pour over cooled cake.

------------

Bourbon cranberry sauce

Place 1 bag fresh cranberries in saucepan. Add 1/2 cup bourbon, 1/2 cup water, 1 cup sugar, 1 tsp. fresh orange peel, 1/2 tsp. cinnamon, and 1/4 tsp. ground ginger. Cook over medium-high heat, stirring occasionally, until cranberries burst and sauce thickens. Remove from heat and cool. Cover and refrigerate at least 2 hours before serving.

29
More of a bourbon guy at Thanksgiving and Christmas, meself.

30 Best turkey recipe ever.

31
Pumpkin Bundt cake with caramel glaze

Truman's recipe is so much easier.

32

This recipe looks great.  I will give it a try.

 

BTW, I bagged my first Hobo last weekend.  As I was rifling through its pockets for a souvenir, I came across an authentic “Hobo 3 Bean Stew” recipe.  I might try that too.  Recipe follows.

 

HOBO 3 BEAN STEW

 

3 Beans  (Beans sold individually at Whole Foods/Wild Oats type stores)

1 Tablespoon water

Pinch of salt

 

Throw beans in a spoon.  Pour water into spoon. Beans should be covered with water.  Simmer over trashcan fire for 10-15 minutes or until beans are tender.  Season to taste.  Serve.

 

Serves: 3

33

1 glass of Guiness

1 shot of mixed Baileys and Jameson

Drop the shot of mixed Baileys and Jameson in the glass of Guiness and consume immediatly.

34  7 Layer Cookies
 
 1 stick butter
 1 1/4C graham cracker crumbs
 6 oz chocolate chips
 6 oz butterscotch chips
 1/2C chopped nuts
 1C coconut
 1 can sweetened condensed milk(not evaporated milk)

Melt butter in 13x9 pan as oven preheats. When butter is melted, layer graham crumbs, chips, coconut, nuts in any order. Pour milk over all. 350 oven (if glass pan, 325 oven)for 25 min. Cut while hot, recut when cooled. 

Favorite holiday dessert. Enjoy morons.

35

Truman's Holiday Relative-B-Gone

1. Get a water bottle, like you buy in the store.

2. Empty into sink.

3. Refill with Vodka.  Val-U-Rite will do.

4. Add in a WASPy family that's too polite to call you on being stinking drunk by noon.  Very festive!

36

Take your Thanksgiving leftovers (turkey, gravy, stuffing, ect... Be creative!),  put them in a piecrust, and top it with the leftover mashed potatoes. Bake at 350 for 40 minutes.

 Kicks ass. I usually use three pie crusts and line a larger baking pan. Be sure to prepare enough leftover potatoes (I know you boiled those potatoes in stock, NOT water, and I'm sure you prepared them with plenty of cream cheese, salt, pepper, and REAL butter, right?).

If your filling mixture is too dry, because your short sighted ass made too little bird gravy, add some Campbells cream of chicken soup.

37
Drop the shot of mixed Baileys and Jameson in the glass of Guiness and consume

That's what I'm talking about. 

38 I'm inviting myself to Truman North's house tomorrow.

39

If you have family coming over that annoy the crap oout of you I suggest the following:

10:00 AM  2 shots of Vodka

11:00 AM  2 shots of Vodka

12:00 PM  Eat something quick and ad 1 more shot of Vodka

1:00  PM  Start making the holiday drinks.  Sample heavily!

2:00  PM  Appetizers are coming out, have a small plate then have another shot of Vodka.

3:00  PM  Consume at least one Holiday drink rapidly and consume everything you can on the dinner table.

By this point they should be looking at you like you are crazy.

4:00  PM  Pop a squat in the bathroom, wash your hands and then pour a glass of vodka to go with desert.

5:00  PM  Eat the dessert pie without a fork, the family you can't stand will leave.

5:30 PM  Your wife will be pissed, not talking to you and you can finish watching the game without interruption

6:30 PM  Pass out in your own vomit, not that I do, but whatever works.

Next Morning, tell your wife you had a great time and you can't wait until Christmas

 

1 full year of no family coming over.  AWESOME!

 

40 Pepperoni, jalepeno, pineapple pizza with extra cheese:

1: pick up telephone
2: dial phone number for favorite pizza place
3: place order with stoned pizza guy
4: wait about 30 minutes
5: answer door and give stoned delivery guy $15 (includes tip)
6: enjoy with Coke over ice, beer, or water

41
I'm inviting myself to Truman North's house tomorrow.

It sounds like a very festive place.

42 I have questions, not a recipe. It's my first time cooking the feast and I have a fridge full of foods thawing and marinating. Now I'm having second thoughts. With potatoes and stuffing and gravy over everything, my gut tells me that string beans steamed to a bright brilliant green are better than that casserole with the french fried onions, plain mashed yams are better those drowned in butter and  brown sugar and field greens can live without the smoked pork neckbones. Plus, the six-ounce can of cranberry sauce is sufficient for five people and most of the 16-ounce can would go to waste anyway.

Am I taking too many liberties here? Will this cost me points on the citizenship exams later?

43

My advice is this...unless you are an ubermoron like myself and you make a stck Today, for Tomorrow's cooking...your stock pot will be about the ONLY clean vessel in your kitchen come the 'dishes' portion of tomorrow's feast.

Before you start your dishes, take ALL of your leftover bones and carci from your bird and get a stck rolling on the stovetop.  Throw in some Turnips, Carrot, Garlic and Onion along with a Sachet of leftover herbs and a handful of peppercorns.  Get it up to a rolling boil and let her simmer through the evening. 

Before you go to bed, remove the solids with a tong and drain them through a collander (over a bowl) to save all the liquid/stock that drain while you do this.  Next, strain out the small solids using a strainer and cheesecloth. I do this into a seperate and smaller stock pot or pasts pot (To fit under my grill cover - see below).

 Then, drop a lid on it and throw it outside on the Barbecue grill and let it cool rapidly.  If you are in the Northern tier, and it is under 40 at night, you can leave it over night.

Then next day it will look like a jelly if left outside near freezing, but it will be a super-concentrated super rich Turkey Stock for Jambalaya, Gumbo, Pot Pie, Gravy's, Sauces, etc once reheated.  So use, or package and freeze.

That Turkey gave its all for you...give it some respect and get out every ounce of tasty goodness it's got!

 

Enjoy!

44

Truman's Holiday Feast

1. Make reservations at a restaurant.  Denny's is a good choice.

2. Eat there.

3. Very festive!

45 I'm actually going to the Cracker Barrel.  They will be happy to see me, and if I order extra buttered cornbread they will keep their snide remarks about the size of my ass out of earshot.  Perfect!

The cat gets turducken.

46

Buy a 40lb. vat of tofu, scoop out handful;

shape like turkey - serve.

shape like ham - serve.

shape like veggie - serve.

shape like pie - serve.

Very festive!

47

Am I taking too many liberties here?

Kind of think the yams loaded with butter and brown sugar are the way to go, and homemade cranberry sauce (boil cranberries in simple syrup) is way easy.  Other than that, the greenbeans are good.  Neckbones are for stock to make the gravy.

48 Here is a really good recipe I have found useful.

100 parts of saltpeter,
18 parts of char coal, and (Parts given by weight)
16 parts of sulfur

49 Lately at my house, we've been really enjoying making sweet potato hash browns.

Shred 'em, salt 'em and fry 'em.  Yum.

50

I found that with my leftovers I like to give Margaret Cho a call and then leave them by the door for her. 

"HUSKY!"

51

Don't have anything to contribute (wifey is the chef - you wouldn't want to eat mine).

Just wanted to wish everyone a safe and happy Thanksgiving.

52

Am I taking too many liberties here? Will this cost me points on the citizenship exams later?  Posted by: Little Miss Spellcheck

Better no to chance it.  You never know who is looking.

53
It's been an unusually warm November here in the Midwest, but my favorite drink on a chilly, brisk Thanksgiving day is hot chocolate:

* 1/4 cup unsweetened, powdered cocoa. (Hershey's is OK, but a good Belgian cocoa is *much* better.)
* 1/2 cup sugar
* A dash of salt (just a little)
* One quart of skimmed milk
* Whipped cream (lots)
* Cinnamon
* Amaretto

Mix the cocoa, sugar, and salt with maybe a quarter-cup of warm warm water, to make a paste, then stir in the skimmed milk and warm slowly. I liked skimmed milk because it makes for a more chocolate-y drink, but use whatever you prefer.

When the chocolate is warmed, pour into cups; be sure to leave plenty of room in each cup. Then add a slug of the Amaretto: its almond flavor complements the chocolate nicely. Finally, heap whipped cream on top, and finish with a sprinkle of cinnamon.

Salud!

54 Sounds like some of us should be worried with all this family getting together that we might be in for an intervention.

55

The cat gets turducken.

Never eat anything named after turd.

At the North house, we're going to be feating on Ostriploverdactyl.  Same principle, but more delicious since it's made out of endangered and extict species.

56 Mrs. awkward has filled the house with early Thanksgiving baking smells . Wish ya'll could be here .
It's the first Thanksgiving in a decade and a half that we don't have a wild turkey for the starring bird . I blame Obamanomics for effectively keeping me out of the turkey woods last spring . I had to hustle my ass off working , only spent a half day hunting . Rat bastard .
Our chicken flock has been going full bore for several months and the wife is using as many eggs as possible for the feast . At last count she's used 23 eggs in her recipes .

Bleu cheese bacon dip !!

7ozs. bacon chopped
2 garlic cloves minced
2   8oz cream cheese softened
1/3 cup half and half
4 oz crumbled bleu cheese
2 T chopped chives
3 T chopped walnuts or pecans toasted
cook bacon , sautee garlic , beat everything together then bake at 350 for 15 min or until golden and bubbly .

57 We have always had the carrots & turnips with our Thanksgiving dinner, it's one of my favorite vegetable dishes.  Never had it sweetened, not sure I'd want to try that.  We just boil up the veg, mash 'em and serve with butter, salt & pepper.  Yummmm!  Not getting it this year, though, we are eating out.

58 I am trying to modify traditional recipes to make them low fat, low carb, high fiber.

Well then, what's the point?

59 Rickshaw Jack @48 Okay, once that's all mixed, how do you fill the cannolis? Or is this for stuffed shells?

60 No one's done this yet? Peanut butter bacon cookies!

makes 15 cookies about the size of your palm

1 cup all-natural chunky or smooth peanut butter

1 cup sugar (1/2 cup brown sugar and 1/2 cup granulated sugar)

1 egg

1 teaspoon baking soda

about 6 slices of bacon, cooked, cooled and dices

In a skillet over medium high heat, fry up bacon until cooked through and let cool on paper towels until cool enough to dice.  Dice up and set aside.  

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.

Grease a baking sheet with butter and set aside. In a mixer combine peanut butter and sugars until well combined, about 2 minutes. Add egg and baking soda and mix for another 2 minutes.  Fold in cooked bacon.   Roll into large walnut sized balls and create a cris-cross pattern with a fork. If you'd like, roll the dough balls in granulated sugar before making thecris-cross pattern. Bake for 10 minutes, until lightly browned. Cool on a baking sheet for five minutes.

61 Here is a really good recipe I have found useful.

100 parts of saltpeter,
18 parts of char coal, and (Parts given by weight)
16 parts of sulfur

Yeah, I'd get a bang out of this.

62 For a Pumpkin Cheesecake filling, add to Gabe's recipe:
1 more 8ox package cream cheese (for a total of 16 oz) @ room temp
3 Eggs
1 Egg Yolk
1/4 cup sour cream
Replace the brown sugar in Gabe's recipe with 1 1/2 cups regular sugar
Blend everything in a bowl using a hand mixer until creamy smooth.
Preheat oven to 350.
CRUST:
1 1/2 cups finely crushed graham crackers
1 tablespoon cinnamon
2 tablespoons light brown sugar
1 stick of butter
Mix all ingredients in a bowl. Pour the crust mixture in a 9-inch springform pan and spread across the bottom and slightly up the sides using your hands. Wrap the bottom of the pan with aluminum foil tro make sure the butter in the crust does not leak through and end up on the bottom of your oven. Now, pour the cheesecake filling into the springform pan. Bake @ 350 for 1 hour. IMPORTANT: When the 1 hour is up, turn off the oven and using a butter knife, run the knife around the sides of the pan gently to release the cheesecake from the sides, then CLOSE THE OVEN and let the cheesecake cool inside for 1 hour. This step will help make sure that the top of the cheesecake doesn't split when it is cooling.

63 1) Take two college cheerleaders (high school cheerleaders may be substituted, depending on local laws).

2) Coat liberally with olive oil.

3) Enjoy.

64 Call me odd but, I love mashed turnips with my turkey, taters, corn, dressing, etc...Drives my wife crazy. Last year she almost sliced her hand off trying to peel/shuck/prepare the turnips...I'll have some bandages standing by this year.

65 58 I am trying to modify traditional recipes to make them low fat, low carb, high fiber.

Well then, what's the point?

I know, I know!

I guess the point is keeping Mr. Y-not away from full-blown diabetes and having him around for another 25 years.

The dieting hasn't been too bad.  Fortunately, we were already on a game meat kick and we both like fish and veggies, so our fat intake hasn't been that bad except for all of the exciting traditional style cooking I'd been doing the past several months... a dab of butter here, a splash of cream there.  I feel pretty guilty about it. 

66 Call me odd but, I love mashed turnips with my turkey, taters, corn, dressing, etc...Drives my wife crazy. Last year she almost sliced her hand off trying to peel/shuck/prepare the turnips...I'll have some bandages standing by this year.


friggn' sock

67 I am allergic to cinnamon which reminds me of a story... for my last birthday, my 10 year old son brings me a apple pie that he and the ex made.  I am thinking, apple pie, yummy... except for the cinnamon.  Maybe she forgot since it has been about a year since the divorce trial and all.  The kid then says there is not that much cinnamon in it so you should be fine.  Guess they did not forget.

68 venison carpachio smoked or raw venison eye roast (don't do a lot, mos people will pass) sauce #1 - horseradish, dry mustard, pepper, salt, mayo, lemon juice to taste sauce #2 - brown sugar, hot paprika, cinamon, lemon juice, salt to taste slice venison into transparently thin slices and bite size peices or strips serve with sauce, capers, pickled peppers, and pumpernickel bread trick is cutting the meat so thin, freezing it a little can help, as can a really sharp -flat knife raw venison, probably on the menu at the first thanksgiving

69 Bleu cheese bacon dip !!

Oh, man I'm drooling like Pavlov's mutt.  Pass a tissue.

70 Vic's cheap Thanksgiving Recipe

100 gram Jim Beam over ice, consume rapidly
approximately 12 cheap beers to chase liquor with
500 gram R&R over ice, consume rapidly

Porch rocker, as allowed by weather
MP3 player with headphones all music must be greater than 30 years old, preferably country from the 50s and 60s

Ignore relatives and wife

Get forgiveness on Friday by giving checkbook to wife for those "day after sales".

71 64 Call me odd but, I love mashed turnips

You're not odd.  Mr. Y-not's favorite veg is rutabagas. 

He had bad turnips as a kid.  'Not sure what his mom was doing, but he really had an aversion to them until I made some rutabagas without warning.  He loved them.  So today instead of mashed potatoes, we're having a traditional dish (either Swedish or Eastern European, depending on who you talk to) that is a combo of mashed potatoes, mashed rutabagas, and mashed turnips. 

A little lower carb... but should still be good. 

72 100 parts of saltpeter,
18 parts of char coal, and (Parts given by weight)
16 parts of sulfur

CATION: Do not mix in a blender

73

The dieting hasn't been too bad.  Fortunately, we were already on a game meat kick and we both like fish and veggies, so our fat intake hasn't been that bad except for all of the exciting traditional style cooking I'd been doing the past several months... a dab of butter here, a splash of cream there.  I feel pretty guilty about it. 

You should try my Thanksgiving possom dish. Dieting at Thanksgiving doesn't have to be full of temptations...

74 63 1) Take two college cheerleaders (high school cheerleaders may be substituted, depending on local laws).

2) Coat liberally with olive oil.

3) Enjoy.

Posted by: nickless

THREAD WINNER

75 sorry about the formatting there; pixy and my proxy dont play nice

76 One thing I'll really miss this year are creamed onions.  Mom always made them.  I love 'em, but I can't be trusted to have them in the house. 

77 Here I made a pumpkin cheesecake for the first time, wanted to post it, and physics geek has to go and rain on my parade!

Booo! (good taste, though!)

78 As the only-meat eating member of a Hindu family, I'll be eating veggies for Thanksgiving.

AVENGE ME!!!

ha ha ha enjoy your tofurkey

79 OT, but following up on the Mad Max thread:

http://fwd4.me/5qG

80 blue cheese bacon dip on raw venison - might work

81 1) Take two college cheerleaders (high school cheerleaders may be substituted, depending on local laws).

2) Coat liberally with olive oil.

3) Enjoy.

Sounds like my Friday nights.

82 ...combo of mashed potatoes, mashed rutabagas, and mashed turnips.

Do you have any sisters?

83 OK, I'll be the one this year to post this old chestnut that has been floating around the internet since about 1995. Sorry for the length.

-------------------Black Turkey, circa 1963--------------------------

For about a dozen years, at the approach of turkey-eating season, I have been trumpeting to all who would listen, and to a good many who would rather not, that there is only one way to cook a turkey. This turkey is not my turkey. It is the creation of the late Morton Thompson, who wrote "Not as a Stranger" and other books.

This recipe was first contained in the manuscript of a book called "The Naked Countess" which was given to the late Robert Benchley, who had eaten the turkey and was so moved as to write an introduction to the book. Benchley then lost the manuscript. He kept hoping it would turn up--  although not as much, perhaps, as Thompson did, but somehow it vanished, irretrievably. Thompson did not have the heart to write it over. He did,  however, later put his turkey rule in another book. Not a cookbook, but a collection of very funny pieces called "Joe, the Wounded Tennis Player".

THE ONLY WAY TO COOK A TURKEY!!!!!!!

This turkey is work... it requires more attention than an average six-month-old baby. There are no shortcuts, as you will see.

Get a HUGE turkey-- I don't mean just a big, big bird, but one that looks as though it gave the farmer a hard time when he did it in. It ought to weigh between 16 and 30 pounds. Have the poultryman, or butcher, cut its head off at the end of the neck, peel back the skin, and remove the neck close to the body, leaving the tube. You will want this for stuffing. Also, he should leave all the fat on the bird.

When you are ready to cook your bird, rub it inside and out with salt and pepper. Give it a friendly pat and set it aside. Chop the heart, gizzard, and liver and put them, with the neck, into a stewpan with a clove of garlic, a large bay leaf, 1/2 tsp coriander, and some salt. I don't know how much salt-- whatever you think. Cover this with about 5 cups of water and put on the stove to simmer. This will be the basting fluid a little later.

About this time I generally have my first drink of the day, usually a Ramos Fizz. I concoct it by taking the whites of four eggs, an equal amount of whipping cream, juice of half a lemon (less 1 tsp.), 1/2 tsp. confectioner's sugar, an appropriate amount of gin, and blending with a few ice cubes. Pour about two tablespoons of club soda in a chimney glass, add the mix, with ice cubes if you prefer. Save your egg yolks, plus 1 tsp. of lemon -- you'll need them later. Have a good sip! Add 1 dash of Orange Flower Water (to the drink, not the egg yolks).

Get a huge bowl. Throw into it one diced apple, one diced orange, a large can of crushed pineapple, the grated rind of a lemon, and three tablespoons of chopped preserved ginger (If you like ginger, double this -REB). Add 2 cans of drained Chinese water chestnuts.

Mix this altogether, and have another sip of your drink. Get a second, somewhat smaller, bowl. Into this, measuring by teaspoons, put:

2 hot dry mustard
2 caraway seed
2 celery seed
2 poppy seed
1 black pepper
2 1/2 oregano
1/2 mace
1/2 turmeric
1/2 marjoram
1/2 savory
3/4 sage
3/4 thyme 1/4 basil
1/2 chili powder

In the same bowl, add:

1 Tbl. poultry seasoning
4 Tbl parsley
1Tbl salt
4 headless crushed cloves
1 well crushed bay leaf
4 large chopped onions
6 good dashes Tabasco
5 crushed garlic cloves
6 large chopped celery

Wipe your brow, refocus your eyes, get yet another drink--and a third bowl. Put in three packages of unseasoned bread crumbs (or two loaves of toast or bread crumbs), 3/4 lb. ground veal, 1/2 lb. ground fresh pork, 1/4 lb. butter, and all the fat you have been able to pull out of the bird.

About now it seems advisable to switch drinks. Martinis or stingers are recommended. Do this at your own risk (we always did! -REB). Get a fourth bowl, an enormous one. Take a sip for a few minutes, wash your hands, and mix the contents of all the other bowls. Mix it well. Stuff the bird and skewer it. Put the leftover stuffing into the neck tube.

Turn your oven to 500 degrees F and get out a fifth small bowl. Make a paste consisting of those four egg yolks and lemon juice left from the Ramos Fizz. Add 1 tsp hot dry mustard, a crushed clove of garlic, 1 Tbl onion juice, and enough flour to make a stiff paste. When the oven is red hot, put the bird in, breast down on the rack. Sip on your drink until the bird has begin to brown all over, then take it out and paint the bird all over with paste. Put it back in and turn the oven down to 350 degrees F. Let the paste set, then pull the bird out and paint again. Keep doing this until the paste is used up.

Add a quart of cider or white wine to the stuff that's been simmering on the stove, This is your basting fluid. The turkey must be basted every 15 minutes. Don't argue. Set your timer and keep it up. (When confronted with the choice "do I baste from the juice under the bird or do I baste with the juice from the pot on the stove?" make certain that the juice under the bird neither dries out and burns, nor becomes so thin that gravy is weak. When you run out of baste, use cheap red wine. This critter makes incredible gravy! -REB). The bird should cook about 12 minutes per pound, basting every 15 minutes. Enlist the aid of your friends and family.

As the bird cooks, it will first get a light brown, then a dark brown, then darker and darker. After about 2 hours you will think I'm crazy. The bird will be turning black. (Newcomers to black turkey will think you're demented and drunk off your butt, which, if you've followed instructions, you are - REB) In fact, by the time it is finished, it will look as though we have ruined it. Take a fork and poke at the black cindery crust.

Beneath, the bird will be a gorgeous mahogany, reminding one of those golden-browns found in precious Rembrandts. Stick the fork too deep, and the juice will gush to the ceiling. When you take it out, ready to carve it, you will find that you do not need a knife. A loud sound will cause the bird to fall apart like the walls of that famed biblical city. The moist flesh will drive you crazy, and the stuffing--well, there is nothing like it on this earth. You will make the gravy just like it as always done, adding the giblets and whatever is left of the basting fluid.

Sometime during the meal, use a moment to give thanks to Morton Thompson.
There is seldom, if ever, leftover turkey when this recipe is used. If  there is, you'll find that the fowl retains its moisture for a few days.  That's all there is to it. It's work, hard work--- but it's worth it.

(What follows is not part of the recipe, but is an ingredients list to aid in shopping for this monster, or for checking your spice cabinet -REB)


Ingredients List:

1 turkey
salt
garlic
4 eggs
1 apple
1 orange
1 large can crushed pineapple
1 lemon
4 large onions
6 celery stalks
buncha preserved ginger
2 cans water chestnuts
3 packages unseasoned bread crumbs
3/4 pounds ground veal
1/2 pounds ground pork
1/4 pounds
butter
onion juice
1 quart apple cider

Spice List:

basil
bay leaf
caraway seed
celery seed
chili powder
cloves
ground coriander
mace
marjoram
dry mustard
oregano
parsley
pepper, black
poultry seasoning
poppy seed
sage
savory
Tabasco
thyme
turmeric

84 Sounds like my Friday nights.
Posted by: Roman Polanski at November 25, 2009 01:26 PM

Don't forget about the restraining order. 

85

56 - awkward

you got a keeper there - (recipe and the wife)

86 Couple of racks of ribs w/my special marinade, veggies and 'taters, 12pk of beer thoroughly iced and football, big time prayer for our Troops and their Families.  HAPPY THANKSGIVING M&M's!

87 Do you have any sisters?

Posted by: Barbarian at November 25, 2009 01:27 PM

Yes, but she's a shrew.  And she doesn't cook. 

88 The dieting hasn't been too bad.  Fortunately, we were already on a game meat kick and we both like fish and veggies, so our fat intake hasn't been that bad except for all of the exciting traditional style cooking I'd been doing the past several months... a dab of butter here, a splash of cream there.  I feel pretty guilty about it.

Well, that's why they made the statin drugs. Good for hubby's cholesterol.

89 Really easy recipe for you sweet tooth, Gabe.

Mandy P.'s Spiced and Toasted Pecans

1/2 stick butter (unsalted), melted
1/4 cup light corn syrup
1/2 cup brown sugar (you can use either the light or dark brown, depending on what you like)
2 tsp ground cinnamon
1/4 tsp salt (omit the salt if you can't find the butter unsalted)
1 lb bag pecan halves

Heat your oven to 250 degrees F. Mix butter, syrup, brown sugar, cinnamon, and salt in a large bowl until well combined. Add pecans and toss to coat. Pour the whole concoction onto a large baking sheet or jelly roll pan and spread the nuts into one layer. Bake for 1 hour, stirring every 15 minutes to prevent burning. Let them pecans cool completely (they taste better after they've cooled and sat for an hour or two) and store them in an air-tight container. They will keep on your counter for about two weeks. You can also freeze them and they will keep for about 3 months.

You can use other nuts if you don't like pecans but IMO, they taste the best. I'm a huge fan of pecan pie, but we do Thanksgiving every year at my in-laws' house and no one but me and hubby will eat pecan pie there. So I make these instead, everyone eats them up, and I manage to get a taste of pecan pie (cause they taste very similar to that). Everyone wins!

90 Guava Cheesecake

91 Babalublog iz in da house!

92

Your the gourmet, Truman North!

(Quick - for the bonus points - name the movie the line was shamelessly stolen from)

93 The Morgenholz Thanksgiving gets into high gear this afternoon when I begin to prepare the turkey.

First, I need a beer, a .22 pistol, and a turkey.
All 3 of which I have at home.

Now, the fun begins.

94 Call me odd but, I love mashed turnips

I'm partial to turnip roots, cooked very tender, and served with cornmeal dumplings. Yummy!

95 That sounds amazing.  I'm SO going to make that.  Thanks, Gabriel!

96 Well, that's why they made the statin drugs. Good for hubby's cholesterol.
Posted by: OregonMuse at November 25, 2009 01:30 PM

He's cholesterol is fine, so that's a good sign.  So's his blood pressure.  He's just put on 30 pounds off of my (outstanding, if I do say so myself) cooking and lack of exercise.

I'm hopeful that starting an exercise regimen (which is the biggest factor in control blood glucose levels), losing 30 pounds, and going to a low carb, low fat diet will stop and/or reverse the pre-diabetes.   From what I've read at the Mayo Clinic and various other sites, the exercise and weight loss are more effective than drugs. 

The hardest part is that a few numbers from a blood work-up have him completely devastated emotionally.  He was ok when it was just the doctor saying he should lose 30 pounds, but as soon as the blood work came back and he had a bonafide 'medical condition' he became very glum. 

97

My family, for the record, banned three-bean salad years ago. Negotiations are underway in regards to deviled eggs. -

Ban devilled eggs? Why that's nothin' but communism, pure and simple.

98 Best Recipe Ever:

Get up late.
Take a shower.
Get dressed.
Get in car.
Drive to another location.
Eat their turkey dinner.
Leave and go home.

Voila!

99 I'm baking right now incidentally.

-- Chocolate Pecan Pie --

2 Cups Pecan Halves
3 Tbs of Butter, Melted
3 eggs
1 Cup Sugar
1/2 Cup Dark Corn Syrup
3 oz semi-sweet chocolate, chopped
3 Tbs of Wild Turkey Bourbon

Preheat oven to 375.

Line bottom of 9' pie crust with pecan halves. In a big bowl whisk together butter and eggs. Once it's fairly smooth, stir in sugar, corn syrup, chocolate, and bourbon. Stir until it's well-mixed.

Pour over pecans and put in the over on a heavy-duty baking sheet. Bake 10 minutes, the lower the temperature to 350 and continue baking for 25 minutes. Take out and let cool on a wire rack.

______________

Mine is in the second baking stage and I'm waiting on it. Hope my homemade pie crust works out haha.

100 Don't forget about the restraining order.

Don't forget I'm special.

101
Now, the fun begins.

Give the bird a fighting chance and make it 12 beers.

102 97,

Great catch I love deviled eggs, I will make a batch of them too.

103 I don't need a receipe. What I need is, do any of you have directions to the homeless shelter when I can pawn a free Thanksgiving Day Dinner?

104 And if any of you have not started, it's time to brine that turkey!

I can attest to this procedure.  It makes wonderful turkey.

105

1 well worn Huffy or BMX bicycle (seat removed)

1 digital camera

1 overinflated sense of self worth

1 gigantic case of hypocrisy

10 leg humping groupies

25 sockpuppets of your own making (use whatever recipe you like)

Mix the Camera, self worth, hypocricy, and groupies in a bowl.

Take a 25 minute ride on the bicycle to the beach. Use the ingrediants mixed in the bowl to take a picture of either the beach or your well worn bicycle. Comment on what you have done with your 25 sockpuppets.

Sit back and enjoy.

106 PUMPKIN CHEESECAKE DIP

I wanna dip my balls in it!

107 Jellied or whole chunky cranberry sauce?

108 Rum and Coke Cocktail.

Pour Rum in a glass to taste, add a little coke and some ice.
Repeat as needed.

109 Ah Herr, can't you just imagine your white trash neighbors with their dirty little faces pressed up against your windows watching you eat your turkey?

110 Posted by: DoDoGuRu at November 25, 2009 01:37 PM (5wXp1)

Oooh! That's one of my favorites. Damn in-laws. I don't know what the hell is wrong with them that they don't like pecan pie. They're all about the pumpkin; which I like and all but the recipe they use is the generic one on the back of the Libby's can and it's not nearly as good as what I'm used to. So, I get OK pumpkin pie and no pecan pie! Drives this gal batty every year.

111

Jellied or whole chunky cranberry sauce?

Whole chunky sauce made from fresh cranberries.  Mrs. Mallamutt has a process of taking the cranberries whole, washing, coating in various types of sugar and, presto, they are actually good. These little nuggets are the garnish for the actual homemade sauce she produces.

 

112

Mix a debate of pure conservative with a RINO pragmatist. Wait for it to come to a full boil before throwing it out and placing a democrat in the oven.  

113 Just made these for first time a few nights ago.  They kick ass: (mini pineapple cakes baked in cup cake tins and made with pre-made refrigerated buscuits)

Pineapple upside down biscuits:

1 Can of crushed pineapple
 1/2c   light brown sugar
1/4c (half stick) butter
1 10pack roll of refrigerated biscuits (I used layered)

Separate juice/pineapple.

Mix butter, pineapple, brown sugar
Place in cupcake tins

Put biscuits on top of pineapple mixture

Pore pineapple juice on top of biscuits

I then added cinnamon and more brown sugar on top

Bake 12-15 minutes.

They are easy, ooey, gooey, awesome!

Have a great Thanksgiving everyone!  I'm back to reading your snark now

114 CHEMJEFF'S THANKSGIVING DINNER

1 Hungry-Man TV Dinner
1 bottle Val-U-Rite Vodka

Nuke the dinner.  Drink the vodka.

115 Whole chunky sauce made from fresh cranberries.  Mrs. Mallamutt has a process of taking the cranberries whole, washing, coating in various types of sugar and, presto, they are actually good. These little nuggets are the garnish for the actual homemade sauce she produces.

I'm with ya. T hat sounds yummy. My sister continues to plop that jellied log of gelatinous substance in a few bowls strategically placed around her table. It actually shakes and shimmies just sitting there. I can't even look at it.

116

Dammit I forgot the garnish.

1 ponytail (aged since 1970)

117 I don't know what the hell is wrong with them that they don't like pecan pie.

Sacrilege!

118 Here's my own recipe for rum and coke.

1. Drink some rum.
2. Snort some coke.
3. Repeat as needed.

119 Jose Cuervo Cookies
 
1 cup of water
1 tsp baking soda
1 cup of sugar
1 tsp salt
1 cup of brown sugar
1 cup lemon juice
4 large eggs
1 cup nuts
2 cups of dried fruit
1 bottle Jose Cuervo Tequila
 
Sample the Cuervo to check quality. Take a large bowl, check the Cuervo
 again, to be sure it is of the highest quality - pour one level cup and drink.

> Turn on the electric mixer...Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl.

> Add one teaspoon of sugar...Beat again. At this point it's best to make sure the Cuervo is still OK, try another cup ..just in case.

> Turn off the mixerer thingy. Break 2 leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit, Pick the frigging fruit off floor... Mix on the turner. If the dried druit gets stuck in the beaterers just pry it loose with a drewscriver. Sample the Cuervo to check for tonsisticity.

> Next, sift two cups of salt, or something. Who giveshz a sheet. Check the Jose Cuervo. Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts. Add one table. Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink. Whatever you can find. Greash the oven.

> Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over. Don't forget to beat off the turner. Finally, throw the bowl through the window, finish the Cose Juervo and make sure to put the stove in the dishwasher.

 CHERRY MISTMAS

120 My holiday recipe- Get up at o-dark-thirty. Drink a couple of cups of coffee and smoke a few.  Gather up one Remington 1100 Lt 20 a handful of #6 shot (for the pheasants) and a handful of #71/2 shot (for the quail). Leave house while it's still o-dark-thirty. Drive for an hour or so and arrive in the middle of nowhere at o-dark-forty-five. Get out of truck and enjoy the last few pre-dawn minutes. Spend a few hours walking the CRP and tree lines etc. while occasionally causing a few feather clouds. Head for home. Get the birds into some brine and have a beer. Warm-up leftovers for supper and get some reading in before bed.

121

So easy even this moron can do it.

I managed to fuck it up for a party! It wasn't easy, but I'm that good.

Actually, the dip was great, but the f-ing ginger-snaps were stale!

Mexicans aren't big on ginger, I guess. Stale gingersnaps from Walmart and it was always hard to get ginger ale. Uh, because we lived in a border town that was 60-70 % Mexican, I mean.

Tomorrow I will be baking my famous apple pie...with currents and dried cranberries, in a lemon-nutmeg crust. Always takes a while to bake because we keep opening the oven and snorting the fumes.

122 I don't know what the hell is wrong with them that they don't like pecan pie.

Sacrilege!

Posted by: chemjeff at November 25, 2009 01:45 PM (F+U5/)

I know!!

123 I'm hopeful that starting an exercise regimen (which is the biggest factor in control blood glucose levels), losing 30 pounds, and going to a low carb, low fat diet will stop and/or reverse the pre-diabetes.   From what I've read at the Mayo Clinic and various other sites, the exercise and weight loss are more effective than drugs.

Is his blood GLU very much over 100?

124 CHEMJEFF'S AHMADINEJAD'S THANKSGIVING DINNER

1 Hungry-Man TV Dinner
1 bottle Val-U-Rite Vodka

Nuke the dinner and the Zionist pig dogs. Drink the vodka.

FTFY, Infidel.

125 Jesus, 121 posts about Thanksgiving recipes. Man, other shit is going on but I guess this is more important. Oh, and by the way, injecting cajun seasoning into your Turkey is the bomb.

126 122 I don't know what the hell is wrong with them that they don't like pecan pie.

Yeah.  Last year I made chocolate-pecan pie.  This year, post-diagnosis, we'll be having fresh berries and low fat topping.  Boo hoo.

127
Is his blood GLU very much over 100?

I think he was in the mid-range of pre-diabetes... I think it was 111.

128 Chemjeff, what ever happened with the ATV gal?

129   1 envelope unflavored gelatin 1/2 cup cold water 1/3 cup sugar 2 tablespoons cornstarch 1/4 teaspoon salt 2 cups commercial eggnog 1-1/2 squares unsweetened baking chocolate, melted 1 teaspoon vanilla extract 1 baked 9-inch pie shell 1 teaspoon rum extract 2 cups whipping cream, divided 1/4 cup confectioners' sugarSoften gelatin in cold water, and set aside.

Combine sugar, cornstarch and salt in a medium saucepan. Gradually stir in eggnog, and cook over medium heat, stirring constantly, until thickened. Cook an additional 2 minutes, and remove from heat. Add gelatin mixture, and stir until dissolved.

Divide the filling in half, and set one half aside to cool. Stir in rum extract.

To the other half, add the melted chocolate and vanilla and stir well. Pour into pie shell and refrigerate until filling is set.

Once the remaining filling has completely cooled, beat 1 cup whipping cream until soft peaks form and fold it into the filling. Spread filling evenly in a second layer over the chilled filling in the pie shell.

Beat remaining 1 cup of whipping cream until foamy. Gradually add confectioners' sugar, beating until soft peaks form. Spread over pie. Dust top of pie with sifted cocoa powder or chocolate curls, if desired.

130 Global warming, non-fat foods, algore, healthcare reform, secondhand smoke, odumbass, all a hoax!!!

131 A musical interlude.  from Bare Naked for the Holidays:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HGVNzgUxE-g

132 Thats for Chocolate-Eggnog pie

133 128 Chemjeff, what ever happened with the ATV gal?
Posted by: Peaches at November 25, 2009 01:50 PM

I was wondering the same thing.

Chemjeff sounds like a good catch.  He shouldn't be eating a frozen dinner for Tday.

134 'Nam Grunt!!  Haven't seen you around lately.  Are you cooking up a big feast tomorrow?  Hunting your own turkey?

135 I wonder what these guys use for a marinade.

136 Chemjeff sounds like a good catch.  He shouldn't be eating a frozen dinner for Tday.

Posted by: Y-not at November 25, 2009 01:52 PM (sey23)

Agreed!  That man should be wined and dined and appreciated for the great guy he is.

137 To do your turkey:

Stuff turkey with butter chunks, apple slices, onion wedges, and celery stalks

Smother turkey in butter...cover with garlic pepper..then sprinkle with flour

Shove into a baking bag and cook.

138 Yeah.  Last year I made chocolate-pecan pie.  This year, post-diagnosis, we'll be having fresh berries and low fat topping.  Boo hoo.

Posted by: Y-not at November 25, 2009 01:49 PM (sey23)

Well, I can't see doing pecan pie without the sugar (cause of the corn syrup requirement), but you could do a fruit pie or even a pumpkin pie with the Splenda baking blends. My FIL is pre-diabetic and my step-dad is borderline, so we do everything we can with both the white and brown sugar Splenda blends. In fact, I made an apple, pear, cranberry and walnut pie with Splenda about a month ago. Even made my own crust with the Splenda instead of sugar and whole wheat flour instead of white. Came out great. I can give you the recipe, if you'd like.

139

I'm hopeful that starting an exercise regimen (which is the biggest factor in control blood glucose levels),

Really? Not just lowering your weight, but the actual exercise? Another reason to get off my butt and move. I've been being much more active and cut sugar/carbs waaaay down, but it hasn't budged my weight one bit.

140

Thanksgiving?

Never heard of it.

 

141 Hi Peaches, Quad Chick hasn't written me back yet.  So I don't know.

142 134,


See upthread darlin', and Happy TG tomorrow.

143 I think he was in the mid-range of pre-diabetes... I think it was 111.

Well, that's not so bad. Once he loses 30 pounds and cleans up his diet a bit, I would think he'd be OK.

The danger, of course, is that if this is adult-onset diabetes, it may gradually get worse over time and then he'll have to start the drug regimen. Ugh.

144 I'm kidding about the frozen dinner.  I'm actually going over to a friend's house for a great T-day spread.  In fact I'm about to go shopping now to buy the ingredients for my share of the food.

But I am going to drink booze.  That part wasn't a joke.

145 Side dish for those who like to make the perfect "bite" (putting together a taste of two or three items on your plate to combine for the perfect depth of flavor!)

Carrots Puree

1-1.5 lbs of carrots, peeled and sliced
6 tablespoons butter
salt
1/2 cup whipping cream
freshly ground Nutmeg

Melt butter in a saucepan and slowly cook the carrots, uncovered, until they are soft. Puree in a food processor until smooth. Add the whipping cream. Season well with the salt and white pepper and grate just a little fresh nutmeg into the carrot puree. Can be made two days ahead of time and reheated in a pan to serve.

Delicious!

146

Skimming through this, I can only say that I am appalled that NO ONE has mentioned the centrality of firearms to Thanksgiving dinner.

Not to kill a turkey or anything, but to keep the family in line.

147

An easy twist on cranberry sauce is to substitute 3/4 cup Orange Juice for an equal amount of the water called for on the back of the bag the cranberries come in. Add 1/2 teaspoon of nutmeg or cinnamon depending on your desire.

 

BTW: No, morons, this won't work for the sauce in the cans.

148 I wonder what these guys use for a marinade.

Either the penguin is lost, or the polar bears.  Funny anyway.

149 stupid sockpuppet. I blame chemjeff.

150

BTW: No, morons, this won't work for the sauce in the cans.

Mental image: moron banging together 1 can jellied cranberries and 1 can frozen oj concentrate.

151 Open bacons, cook. Eat.

152 today's prep day  I'm bringing apps and a dessert

apps are
smoked, bacon wrapped jalapeno poppers
artichoke dip
brie en croute with cranberry/apple chutney
fruit

my contribution to dessert?
homemade cranberry sherbet
and homemade pumpkin ice cream

153 149 stupid sockpuppet. I blame chemjeff.

I hereby denounce myself.

154 My dawg grunt will have plenty of bones and a bowl of beer too, oh and he likes football he actually lays beside me and watches and barks when I yell obsenities!

155 Ah Herr, can't you just imagine your white trash neighbors with their dirty little faces pressed up against your windows watching you eat your turkey?

I'll throw the bones out to 'em.  They can wrestle the German Shepherd.

156 BIAB

157 IHOB?

158 In celebration of the impending Turkey holocaust and in keeping my with cultural heritage of imperialistic hegemony and darwinian exploitation I shall travel to Wisconsin and visit a Native Americam reservation and burn their houses to the ground.

159 I will then eat whatever they had cooked for themselves.

160 136 Chemjeff sounds like a good catch.  He shouldn't be eating a frozen dinner for Tday.

Posted by: Y-not at November 25, 2009 01:52 PM (sey23)

Agreed!  That man should be wined and dined and appreciated for the great guy he is.

Posted by: Peaches at November 25, 2009 01:53 PM (9Wv2j) -

Oh sure, but do they say anything about my giong hunting and then eating leftovers from my grilling chicken last night? Nooooo

161 157 IHOB?

Posted by: Mama AJ at November 25, 2009 02:03 PM (Be4xl)

Mhmm, it's a direct rebuttal to the salad restaurants.

162 I wish I could invite all of you to my casa for ribs and gun play tomorrow, in a perfect world I would, my dawg grunt doesn't move a muscle when I go to shooting in the air with my shotgun, and I didn't even train him.

163 I can give you the recipe, if you'd like.

Posted by: Mandy P. at November 25, 2009 01:54 PM (MK6Kx)

Yes, please.  I may not make it for Thanksgivingus, but perhaps for tomorrow or for Christmas.

I'm not much of a baker... until this past year when, in an effort to make my stressed-out hubby happy, I started baking some... GUESS THAT BACKFIRED! 

You gotta' just laugh about these things.

164 He just looks at me and thinks Dad is crazy again!

165 AWESOME BRUSSELS SPROUTS

1 empty one pouch of frozen Brussels sprouts into a medium saucepan
2 cover with fresh cold water
3 once sprouts have thawed, dump contents of saucepan down garbage disposal
4 call Domino's

166

Posted by: 'Nam Grunt at November 25, 2009 02:05 PM (65lJF) -

You know NG, we really will have to get together and have a beer one of these days. Two old soldiers and all.

167 To make the most tender Turkey, you have to take the thawed Turkey, place it in front of you, pull down your pants, then baste it with your semen. Yummmmm. Best Turkey ever!

168 Apps:

water chestnuts wrapped in bacon

169

The world's biggest animal sacrifice began in Nepal today with the killing of the first of more than 250,000 animals as part of a Hindu festival in the village of Bariyapur, near the border with India.

Break out the grill!

170 Thanksgiving was created by the federal government to distract the people from the New World Order! I eat my own shit!

171 Really? Not just lowering your weight, but the actual exercise?

Yeah, Mama, it's the actual exercise. 

What's amazing is how little guidance he got from his doctor.  Fortunately, I have a life science background so I've been able to figure out what to do.

The biggest factor is exercise.  It gets your cells to put a demand for glucose uptake.

The next factor is losing 10-15% of your body weight.  Especially, apparently, fat around the middle.

Those two alone decrease the chances of getting diabetes by something like 65%.

The next factor is dividing your meals into a number of small ones throughout the day and moving to a low carb, low fat diet.  But not Atkins.  (This is from both the American Diabetes Association and the Mayo Clinic do not recommend Atkins.)

I have  friend who increased her activity by walking briskly for an hour or two a day and she has decreased her blood glucose without drugs. 

172 166,

Who you calling old, I'm only 62?? I can still clean and put together an M-4 (w/all platforms) blindfolded and be ready for Freddie in minutes! Happy TG teeg .

173 AND SCREW YOU PETA!!!!!

174 Oh sure, but do they say anything about my giong hunting and then eating leftovers from my grilling chicken last night? Nooooo

Hunting isn't pathetic... 

175 Oh sure, but do they say anything about my giong hunting and then eating leftovers from my grilling chicken last night?

This is embarassing, but I thought teej was a chick.

Sorry!

176 AND SCREW YOU PETA!!!!!

You can screw me, but don't eat my meat!

177 158 In celebration of the impending Turkey holocaust and in keeping my with cultural heritage of imperialistic hegemony and darwinian exploitation I shall travel to Wisconsin and visit a Native Americam reservation and burn their houses to the ground

It's important to embrace your inner racist, Entropy.  But, you forgot the pox-laden blankets. 

178 OMG guyz! Have you seen this video of the Palin interview in front of the turkey being murderrrred? She's the turkey imo, sir!

TTYL

179

Hunting isn't pathetic...  -

Maybe not sweetheart, but the rest of my life pretty much is

180 It's important to embrace your inner racist, Entropy.  But, you forgot the pox-laden blankets. 

Posted by: Y-not at November 25, 2009 02:16 PM (sey23)

Don't blame us Americans, the British started that shit.

181 Here's a recipie I can all enjoy

1 quart Wild Turkey bourbon
1 stomach

Mix well

Serves 1

182 You can screw me, but don't eat my meat!

Posted by: Pamela Anderson at November 25, 2009 02:15 PM (nxUYP)

 

I don't like shellfish.

183 179,

You are alive and breathing, now stop that crazy talk!!!

184 Easy Turkey Recipe (must plan in advance though.)

1. go to grocery store deli
2. order fully cooked turkey dinner and sides
3  pick up turkey tomorrow
4. eat

(Usually I cook, but well, I was out of town this past weekend, and knew I would have too much to do, which is indeed the case, so voila! Someone else is catering our meal, and indeed, I do not have to see any relatives!)

185

Gabe, your pumpkin dip recipe is also great with wedges of Granny Smith apples.  Adds some nice color alongside the ginger snaps, too. 

One of the most outstanding recipe sites (Moron friendly) is www.recipezaar.com .  Try Opal's Pumpkin pie.  Beats the hell out of that Libby's recipe and it was used at the White House (before B to the O).  If you have the ingredients for pumpkin pie all you'll need for this one is whipping (heavy) cream. 

186 except for the fishing, and playing music, and my friends, and their kids, and morons of course. Musn't forget the morons. Oh yeah, and NG, I'm 52 so campared to me,,,, you're ancient . 'course, you can still probably take me best 3 out of 5.

187

It's important to embrace your inner racist, Entropy.  But, you forgot the pox-laden blankets. 

And the cheap whiskey. Lots and lots of cheap whiskey.

Hehe, stupid, drunk, wife-beating Injuns.

And yes I DO feel better about myself now, thank you very much!

188 This is embarassing, but I thought teej was a chick.

Sorry!

Posted by: Y-not at November 25, 2009 02:15 PM (sey23) -

Ohhhh, the women from my past who would scratch your eyes out for that one.

189 Posted by: Alex's Cabin at November 25, 2009 02:20 PM (eQXHr)

I'm married to a squaw, can I join your club?

190 Mandy P.'s No-Sugar Added Winter Fruit Pie

Pie Crust:
2 1/2 cups flour
1/4 tsp salt
3 tbsp White Splenda baking blend
1/4 cup Crisco, cold and cut into small bits
1 1/2 sticks butter, cold and cut into small bits (you can use a firm margarine if you like)
1/2 cup ice water

In the food processor, pulse flour, salt and Splenda until combined. Add in the Crisco and pulse until well blended. Add in the butter and pulse until the mixture looks like coarse crumbs. Add water through the shoot, a little at a time, and pulse until it comes together in a ball of dough. * Note if you use white flour, you'll use about 1/4 cup of the water, if you use whole wheat flour, it requires a bit more (likely the whole 1/2 cup) so add it gradually until the dough comes together.

Divide the dough into two equal-sized balls, wrap in plastic wrap and put it in the fridge for at least an hour.

Pie Filling (For an apple or pear pie):
3/4 cup Splenda Brown sugar blend
1/4 cup flour (white or wheat)
1 tsp ground cinnamon
Nutmeg, a good dash, to taste
4-5 medium-sized apples or firm pears
Lemon juice, to coat fruit

Peel and cut up your fruit into thin slices. Toss with the lemon juice to prevent browning. You can use either just enough to coat or, if you like your pies kind of tart, you can use more to taste. Add in the rest of the ingredients and mix well.

Take one ball of dough out of the fridge and roll it out to fit your pie plate. The easiest way to do this is to roll it between 2 pieces of wax paper (waxed sides will be touching the dough), that are well floured. Put the rolled out dough into the pie plate and add the filling. Dot the filling with 3 tbsp butter (or a butter substitute, Bummel and Brown spread is a good one). Roll out the second ball of dough. If you like, you can lattice the top of the pie by cutting the second bit of dough into strips. If not, you can just put the whole thing over the top and make sure to prick it real good with a fork. Go around the side of the pie plate with a sharp knife to trim the edges. Crimp them or not, depending on what you like to do. Take one egg and beat it with about a tbsp of water to make an egg wash. Brush the top of the pie and the edges with the egg wash, then sprinkle with more cinnamon (you can do cinnamon sugar for the top by mixing cinnamon with the Splenda White sugar baking blend and it comes out yummy), to taste.

Bake in a preheated 450 degree F oven for about 45 minutes. Watch the pie at about the 30 minute mark and if it looks like it's browning too quickly, cover the top with foil. Let the pie rest and cool for 20-30 minutes before serving.

I recommend using a mix of tart and sweet apples (for example, 2 Granny Smiths and 2 Red or Golden Delicious). It gives it a nice balanced flavor. If you do a mixture of fruit, do about half pears and half apples. I've also done 2 apples, 2 pears, 1/3 cup dried cranberries and 1/2 cup black walnuts in this pie and it came out excellent.

191

My Thanksgiving Recipe _{(2009 ed.)}

 

Find a Deer.

Shoot the Deer.

Clean the Deer.

Butcher and enjoy!

 

Happy Turkey Day Morons!

192

I am definitely taking some of the recipes in this thread. Morons, not only are they viciously sarcastic but apparently they are also good cooks. I should be doing Thanksgiving prep, but I confess I just got out of bed. I feel somewhat shameful of my sloth, but two Excedrin PMs punched my clock.

 

I ordered my Pumpkin Cheesecake from Juniors in NYC. We are having Apple Pie for dessert as well (sorry AndrewsDad, cinnamon included, but your ex-wife must be a real charmer for doing that /sarc) Still debating if I have the energy for a pecan pie as well.

 

I’m making a mashed potato casserole. Basically you bake 9 yukon gold potatoes and then you skin them and mash them in a mixer with cream cheese and butter and sour cream and spread it in a buttered casserole dish and then slather melted butter on the top. Then you refrigerate until tomorrow when you pull out and bake the whole shebang. It is so damn good.

193

Thanks, Y-not. Time to start doing yoga again, since I can do that in the house easily. I'll try to do walks on the weekend or when hubby comes home for lunch or gets home before dark!

But first, a little aerobic housecleaning...

194

Equally revealing, liberals are far more likely to say they are depressed and to view the world bleakly. Schweizer attributes that to an attitude that they and those around them are victims and helpless unless the government intervenes.

Maybe not sweetheart, but the rest of my life pretty much is

 

I didn't think you were a liberal.

195

My Thanksgiving Recipe _{(2009 ed.)}

 

Find a Deer.

Shoot the Deer.

Clean the Deer.

Butcher and enjoy!

 

Happy Turkey Day Morons!

My recipe:

Go to Dillons(Kroger)

Buy a Turkey

Bake said Turkey

Eat said Turkey

Take a nap

Shit about 10 pounds.

196

Find a Deer.

Shoot the Deer.

Clean the Deer.

Butcher and enjoy!

My 16 yr old nephew shot a nice sized forkhorn the other day.  The tenderloins were like manna dropped from heaven, but more tender and with a better sauce.

197

@186 oops, I mean 54. Geez, how did I do that? Must be gettin' old. NOT!

The only guys in the over 30 hardball league I played in this fall who believed I was 54 were the ones on my team.

198 I am totally going to make this Pumpkin Dip. I'm even going to bake some ginger snaps to go with it.

As for pumpkin pie, I have a recipe I call "One."

ONE small sugar pumpkin (baked for ONE hour at 350)
ONE can of sweetened condensed milk
ONE egg
ONE cup of hot water
Spices -- easy on the cloves and ginger, to taste on the cinammon and nutmeg, but no more than 1.5 teaspoons of either
ONE hour at 375

I've got it memorized.

199 I'll be thankful that our Troops will have a nice spread tomorrow when they return from their missions, some of the best TG meals I ever had were in a combat zone, no shit!

200 Another cranberry sauce variation: Put a couple sticks of cinnamon into the cooking water, and stir one cup of orange marmalade (per standard size bag of fresh cranberries) and a tablespoon of sugar into the cooked cranberries. 

201 JesUS - I'm gaining weight just looking at some of these recipes...

202 I'll be thankful that our Troops will have a nice spread tomorrow when they return from their missions, some of the best TG meals I ever had were in a combat zone, no shit!

Plastic Turkey!!!!

203 Put down the Valu-Rite and turn on the radio.  Rush is getting ready for the real story of the first Thanksgiving.  He'll also do the traditional reading of George Washington's Thanksgiving address.  A must hear.

204

Our recipe for turkey is simple: we put a pound of bacon on the breast to baste along with a pound of butter. No, this is not a joke. It gives us the best turkey every year.

205

I didn't think you were a liberal.

Posted by: harleycowboy at November 25, 2009 02:24 PM (JKGfQ) -

Don't worry, I'm not. I should have noted the sarc. I've got a comment a few down from there. While life could be better, it could be a hell of a lot worse. And the good thing about being single in times like these, the Freddies don't have anyone to hold over my head.

206 202,

Actually on my 1st tour in beautiful downtown SE Asia our meal was choppered in to us in mermite cans and it was super!

207 Screw it.  It's 2:30, I'm at the office, and I have a bird to kill, gut, and pluck.  I'm outta here til Monday.

Unless I kill a deer Monday, then Tuesday, at the earliest.

Happy Native American Holocaust Day to all morons, moronettes, and assorted crackpots!

208

Our recipe for turkey is simple: we put a pound of bacon on the breast to baste along with a pound of butter. No, this is not a joke. It gives us the best turkey every year.

Posted by: scott at November 25, 2009 02:28 PM (PZCvc)

You can't go wrong with bacon and butter.

209 Actually on my 1st tour in beautiful downtown SE Asia our meal was choppered in to us in mermite cans and it was super!

Service with a smile.  And ammo!!

210

My cranberry sauce recipe is cranberries, fresh orange mushed up real good with some fresh orange juice and orange zest and sugar all cooked together and then you add grand marnier. (OK, I could be more precise if I got off my butt and went down and got the recipe, but you get the idea—add grand marnier to your cranberry sauce it is yummy!!!)

211
put a pound of bacon on the breast to baste along with a pound of butter.

Damn, I just might try that.  Sounds delicious and easy.

212 I love the holidays because I find that on days like tommorow when we put aside whatever troubles we are having in our lives and get together with family to remind ourselves of all the truly important things we still have, and we can all let our guard down and enjoy the comity, revelries, and the fundemental fraternity that is being shared all across this great country, that it is on these days above all others, almost no one expects you to smother them with ether rags and shove them in your trunk.

213 Posted by: Herr Morgenholz at November 25, 2009 02:30 PM (5aa4z)

My wife is 3/4 Cherokee, and she loves to make fun of that so-called Native American holocaust shit.

214

Front page of Drudge

Obama/Oprah Christmas special!!!!11!!!!

 

215

1) Sew neck opening of turkey tightly shut.

2) Stand turkey on its head, fill body cavity with dried rice, add chicken broth until rice is covered, sew bottom end of turkey tightly shut.

3) Roast in 350ş oven until turkey explodes.

4) Call 911 as you spray oven with fire extinguisher.

216 AWESOME BRUSSELS SPROUTS

I love Brussels sprouts but alas, they give me the winds.

217

I have a great recipe.

It's called "The Relative Drink"

You will need a tumbler, Ice and a Wild Turkey, preferably 1/5 of a bottle of Wild Turkey.

Mix the three, repeat as needed, depending on how quickly the dinner conversation turns to politics. 

218 I don't remember much about the Thanksgiving day I spent in the Indian Ocean but the Christmas was a lot of fun. Bob Hope did his Christmas show on board my ship(USS Midway 1987) and what a showman that guy was. Off camera he was hella funny. Had us rolling all over the hanger deck with the off color stuff.

219 Posted by: Tinian at November 25, 2009 02:35 PM (7+pP9)

No that's a lie, you fuckers aren't going to fool me again with that shit.

220

You can't go wrong with bacon and butter.

I just had an idea! Compound butter made with chopped bacon! Wrap in cellophane, decorate with a colorful, festive ribbon and viola!

Nothing says Merry Christmas! like the gift of bacon-butter. And if you have Jew friends with a sense of humor, it's doubly good!

221

I ordered my Pumpkin Cheesecake

I make a damn good one, if I say so myself. I could live on it for about a week.

222

Whatever you do, DO NOT put a frozen turkey into a turkey frier. IT WILL EXPLODE.

I love watching the news thanksgiving night and seeing all the stories of houses burning down because idiots do this. I do feel bad that they are without a house, but honestly how could you not know this yet?

223 184 Easy Turkey Recipe (must plan in advance though.)

1. go to grocery store deli
2. order fully cooked turkey dinner and sides
3  pick up turkey tomorrow
4. eat
...

Posted by: shibumi at November 25, 2009 02:18 PM (OKZrE)

Forgot step 1a. Look over deli clerk for any signs of H1N1 or obvious signs of intoxication.

224 We recommend a nice roast beef for thanksgiving.

225 My wife is 3/4 Cherokee, and she loves to make fun of that so-called Native American holocaust shit.

Posted by: Samuel Adams at November 25, 2009 02:33 PM (nxUYP) -

Fellow Kansans and now, maybe cousins-in-law. My great grandfather was full blooded Cherokee.

226 Of course, since I'm one of those stinkin' creationists, I consider all of you morons cousins. There's a scary Thanksgiving thought for all of you.

227 Posted by: teej at November 25, 2009 02:40 PM (c459z)

Her mom was full-blooded, and her dad was half Cherokee and half German. Her two sons look like Mexicans.
I keed, I keed.

228 Please eat fowls tomorrow and give us a break except for that bastard 'Nam Grunt!




/COWS!

229 My favorite recipe is from MST3K's Thanksgiving special:

Turkey Surprise:
Cook turkey at 200 degrees for 1 hour.
Let is stand.
Rub it with a turtle.

230

For the love of all that is holy please, do not fry your turkeys you damn hillbillies.

Just go to KFC.

It all tastes the same deep fried anyway.

That is like the Swanson Turkey TV Dinner version of Thanksgiving for people who don't have microwaves but do have 8 non-functioning Camaros on their lawn.

231
Turkey Surprise:
Cook turkey at 200 degrees for 1 hour.
Let is stand.
Rub it with a turtle.

is = it

232 Who gets to lick the blenders?

233 Fucking whorry ass bitch sock-puppet.

234

My sister adds a jar of cheese whiz to the “traditional” green bean casserole. I used to hate that casserole until I had hers with the cheese whiz. Now I want to lick the dish clean it is so good.

235 My favorite recipe is from MST3K's Thanksgiving special:

Turkey Surprise:
Cook turkey at 200 degrees for 1 hour.
Let is stand.
Rub it with a turtle.

Posted by: Dr Carlo Lombardi at November 25, 2009 02:43 PM (FJ5lI)

Damn, I miss that show.

236 Of course, since I'm one of those stinkin' creationists, I consider all of you morons cousins.


You're not originally from Missourah, are you?

237 I just saw that PETA commercial. If one of my lefty relatives brings it up the "Turkey Holocaust" I will take a bite of turkey and declare "I was just following orders".

238 My sister adds a jar of cheese whiz to the “traditional” green bean casserole. I used to hate that casserole until I had hers with the cheese whiz. Now I want to lick the dish clean it is so good.

Eeeeewwwwww!

239 Actually fried turkey with lots of shots of cajun seasoning is the only way to go, my #1 son makes about $400 every year from his friends at $20 a pop, only investment is the oil and turkey fryer, like he really needs the money but they bring free beer too.

240 My wife is 3/4 Cherokee, and she loves to make fun of that so-called Native American holocaust shit.

Posted by: Samuel Adams at November 25, 2009 02:33 PM (nxUYP) -

I'm waiting for the politically correct idiots to find out the Oklahoma means Red Man in Choctaw.  Wonder what they'll demand the State be renamed?

241

Then you refrigerate until tomorrow when you pull out and bake the whole shebang. It is so damn good.

Posted by: ParanoidGirlInSeattle at November 25, 2009 02:24 PM (RZ8pf)

That is SO going in my newly married recipe file!

242 214

Front page of Drudge

Obama/Oprah Christmas special!!!!11!!!!

I saw that.

Wanted to throw up.

Another reason to turn of ABC... and the rest of the alphabet networks...

243

Recipe for getting nagged all weekend.

Mix 3 hours of Call of Duty Modern War 2

One pissed of Girlfriend who you repeatedly promise "Just 5 more minutes baby!"

One case of Miller light.

244 mashed turnips and carrots???? Somethings are just wrong.

245

'Nam (AKA my favorite Texan)

All this recipe talk reminds me you have been negligent in your duties.

(hint: BBQ sauce/ribs)

 

 

246

That is like the Swanson Turkey TV Dinner version of Thanksgiving for people who don't have microwaves but do have 8 non-functioning Camaros on their lawn.

 

Damn it. I've only got seven of them.

247 We've decided to dine out for Thanksgiving Day, but just for you all, here is my most excellent green bean casserole recipe:

Double-Trouble Green Bean Casserole
(So easy a moron could make it!)

2 cans (10 3/4 ounces) condensed cream of mushroom soup (Okay to substitute cream of chicken soup.)

1/4 tsp pepper

1 cup milk

4 cans cut green beans (or 2 bags frozen)

2 large cans of French fried onions (Okay to use Cheese flavored onions if you want.)

In a 9 x 13 pan, mix milk, condensed soup and pepper. Add green beans and 1 can of French friend onions. Bake at 350 degrees for 35 minutes. Casserole should be bubbling in the center. Scatter the rest of the French fried onions on the the top and bake for 5 minutes more.

248 Oh boy, I can hardly effin wait. Gonna program the tivo, fer sur..

249 245,

Maybe when I come to visit you a M. and be your personal chef for the day honey.

250 You're not originally from Missourah, are you?

Posted by: HeatherRadish at November 25, 2009 02:47 PM (NtiET) -

A Missouri ruffian? Bite your tounge. And I never cared much for hoosiers neither.

from the outlaw josie wales

251

You have an open invitation, 'Nam.

We made friends with a great couple from Texas on our honeymoon.  They live in the Dallas area and there is talk of a visit next year....if it comes to fruition we will have to plan a meet up.

252 You're not originally from Missourah, are you?

Posted by: HeatherRadish at November 25, 2009 02:47 PM (NtiET)

Uh, that would be Misery dear. Remember, Misery has 3 native sons that are considered heroes. 1)Hannibal Hamlin, better known as Mark Twain, (good guy). 2)Harry Truman, ballsy Democratic President, (would be considered a right wing war-mongering piece of shit Conservative in this fucked up day and age). 3)Jesse James,(there are actual memorials to this piece of Confederate murdering and robbing  piece of human garbage in the state of Misery). So with Misery, you take the good with the bad.

253 My wife is 3/4 Cherokee, and she loves to make fun of that so-called Native American holocaust shit.

Posted by: Samuel Adams at November 25, 2009 02:33 PM (nxUYP) -

Fellow Kansans and now, maybe cousins-in-law. My great grandfather was full blooded Cherokee.

 

Humorously enough, aren't they the network that gave Obama the two hour infomercial for Healthcare last year. And if I am not mistaken, didn't Charles Gibson bow to Obama at that event? I can't find a picture but i am positive i saw it at the time. I guess it is the only time someone had bowed to Obama and not vice versa.

 

Is the special actually on Christmas Day?

 

254 That pumpkin cheesecake dip recipe was shamelessly stolen from World Market/Cost Plus.

Physics geek, I'm makin' that pumpkin cheesecake at Christmas. I love the stuff, but have never tried making it.

255

"Christmas at the White House" will air Sunday, Dec. 13, at 10 p.m.

Good. That makes it less than likely that I'll flip it on purely by accident.

256 Thank you for the recipe, Mandy!  _{I'm slow today 'cause I have to baste the turkey.} 

Now I can finally use my new Kitchen Aid stand mixer (bought pre-doctor's visit, naturally!). 

257

"nam grunt  You need to get dawg grunt to haul back a turkey or two back to the homestead. Or are all thr Turkeys hunted out already?   Of course, I am talkin' about the two legged type.

258 I like to have a large gathering for Thanksgiving. We all then hold hands as we sit around the table admiring my refelection in the mirror I set at the other end. It's the best!!!!

259 251,

Done bunny-hop, sounds great!

260

Front page of Drudge

Obama/Oprah Christmas special!!!!11!!!!

That is a recipe for a flaccid penis.

261  Stuffed Camel

1 whole camel, medium size
1 whole lamb, large size
20 whole chickens, medium size
60 eggs
12 kilos rice
2 kilos pine nuts
2 kilos almonds
1 kilo pistachio nuts
110 gallons water
5 pounds black pepper
Salt to taste

Skin, trim and clean camel (once you get over the hump), lamb and chicken. Boil until tender. Cook rice until fluffy. Fry nuts until brown and mix with rice. Hard boil eggs and peel. Stuff cooked chickens with hard boiled eggs and rice. Stuff the cooked lamb with stuffed chickens. Add more rice. Stuff the camel with the stuffed lamb and add rest of rice. Broil over large charcoal pit until brown. Spread any remaining rice on large tray and place camel on top of rice. Decorate with boiled eggs and nuts. Serves friendly crowd of 80-100.

I think if you haven't cleaned the camel by now, it'll never be done in time for Thanksgiving dinner.

262 The Vapid one is getting enough face time to finish him off by mid term. The more people see him, the less they like him. Son of a bitch must find it hard to partition enough time between golf and making appearances to fuck the country up. Good thing he delegated all the grunt work to Botox Nan and Dingy Harry, or the rate of fuck-up might slow to a crawl.

263

The Three Wise Men:

1/3 shot Jim Beam

1/3 shot Jack Daniels

1/3 shot Jose Cuervo

1 toilet

1 beer of your choosing

Mix liquor in shot glass, shoot.  Use toilet to vomit.  Repeat as necessary.

264 248 Oh boy, I can hardly effin wait. Gonna program the tivo, fer sur..

Maybe it will be filmed in Rev. Wrights church.

265 Posted by: polynikes at November 25, 2009 02:48 PM (m2CN7)

Did you know that the Indians so loved Tecumseh, that they dug him up and re-buried him in Oklahoma. Now that is warrior pride and respect. Everybody has been taught that the white man had no respect for the Indians, when if fact for the most part with some exceptions, we did.

266

Sorry for the bold but this deserves it.

Via HA

The Federal Reserve has put out estimates that the unemployment rate will be 6.8-7.5 percent in 2012.  

267

That is SO going in my newly married recipe file!

Posted by: loppyd at November 25, 2009 02:49 PM (UJIeT)

Along with the Heart-Shaped Meatloaf and the Stuffed Dumpling?

268 257,

HAHA, that dawg doesn't like any animal in his AO he's killed 7 possums to date and he leaves them where they lay and it's up to me to get rid of the stinking bastards.

269 Baby Seal Dip is tasty (be sure to club it first, so it will stop wiggling)

270

118 Here's my own recipe for rum and coke.

1. Drink some rum.
2. Snort some coke.
3. Repeat as needed.

 

Perfect

271 OK, teej, the cousin thing threw me off there

Hannibal Hamlin, better known as Mark Twain

He did his writing in New York.  

Never made it to Elmira over the summer...

272
Peacerose


 I don't see why the onions have to be friendly to the French

273

The Federal Reserve has put out estimates that the unemployment rate will be 6.8-7.5 percent in 2012.  

No, you cannot have any of my turkey.

Stop whining and get a job.

274 Thank you for the recipe, Mandy!  _{I'm slow today 'cause I have to baste the turkey.} 

Now I can finally use my new Kitchen Aid stand mixer (bought pre-doctor's visit, naturally!). 

Posted by: Y-not at November 25, 2009 02:57 PM (sey23)

You're very welcome! And remember to use the Splenda with anything you would normally use sugar in. Just be sure to buy the bag that has the "cup-for-cup" measurement on it- so you don't have to re-calculate any ingredient quantities- and substitute away. I've yet to come across a recipe where I used Splenda instead of sugar that didn't turn out fine. I even use it to make my sweet tea.

275

If you are on a diet try this, it's good: CORN GRITS

2 cups chicken stock

2 cups of cream

1 cup yellow grits

˝ lb butter

Salt to taste

1 ear roasted corn

 

Bring liquids to a boil, cook grits, add butter

Roast corn till kernels start to turn, slice off kernels and add to grits

Garnish with green onion tops.

 

I tired to work bacon grease in but it just doesn't work.

 

 

276 Actually 3 Wise men is Jim, Johnny, and Jack. No Jose. You are talking about a Four Horseman.

277 Posted by: HeatherRadish at November 25, 2009 03:01 PM (NtiET)

From I believe Hannibal Missouri. Oh excuse me, Hannibal Misery.

278 254 That pumpkin cheesecake dip recipe was shamelessly stolen from World Market/Cost Plus.

I love that store!  Great place for cheap wine. 

279

Along with the Heart-Shaped Meatloaf and the Stuffed Dumpling?

Posted by: stuiec at November 25, 2009 03:00 PM (7AOgy)

Heh.  I've never made a meatloaf in my entire life.  Come to think of it, I've never made a dumpling...

280

The Federal Reserve has put out estimates that the unemployment rate will be 6.8-7.5 percent in 2012.  

That's in the Federal Reserve isn't it?

The last  30min.s is the longest and I'm out of here for  four days.

I've enjoyed reading the comments and links. Getting tired of cleaning off the spewed coffee though.

Have a happy Thanksgiving and may God bless you all.

281 Unprecedented Dip

1 dash of Marxism
2 teabags - or more for fun
4 scoops of media malpractice
12 bags of job losses

Let it simmer over the summer

Add in a scoop of revenge.

It's ball-dipping good. 

282 Posted by: easy at November 25, 2009 03:02 PM (/IQA9)

You could probably use some chopped or crumbled bacon instead of the grease. Some cheddar cheese might be good in that, too.

283 279, I use frozen pillsbury biscuits when I make chicken and dumplings better than original dumplings and easier. mmmmm!

284 176 AND SCREW YOU PETA!!!!!

You can screw me, but don't eat my meat!

Posted by: Pamela Anderson at November 25, 2009 02:15 PM (nxUYP)

I have neither the time nor the patience to cook any piece of meat as long as I'd have to cook that one to make it even barely edible.

285

No, you cannot have any of my turkey.

Stop whining and get a job.

 

It's ok Entropy, according to the new Healthcare bill in the senate, you will be forced by the police to give me some of your turkey.

286

If you need to bring an appetizer, this is a crowd pleaser and easy.

Artichoke Dip

2 cans artichokes (in brine), drained and chopped

2 cloves garlic (use a garlic press)

1 cup mayo (ok to use reduced fat - you can't tell the difference)

1 cup freshly frated Parmigiano-Reggiano cheese

1 4 oz. can diced chiles

Combine ingredients in mixing bowl

Transfer into baking dish and cook at 350 for 20-25 minutes until bubbly

Serve with bagel chips, tortilla chips or pita chips

 

 

287

Since you are looking for sweets - another SC favorite:

Glazed Pecans

1/2 cup brown sugar

2 Tbl OJ

2 cups pecans

Mix all in a 10 x 14 dish, cook for 6 -8 minutes in the microwave, stirring every 2 minutes till bubbly and brown.  Spread on a buttered cookie sheet till cool.

288

Nam

Is a dumpling just a ball of dough?

289 Never seen bagel chips in my life, must try them!

290 288,

Yes Ma'am!

291

While we're on the subject, got any slow-cooker recipes?  I've got a brand new one sitting in the box with all of the other gizmos I am afraid of.

292 283 279, I use frozen pillsbury biscuits when I make chicken and dumplings better than original dumplings and easier. mmmmm!

Posted by: 'Nam Grunt at November 25, 2009 03:07 PM (65lJF)

The regular canned ones work well, too. I use the buttermilk biscuits, chopped into 1-inch bites. The only thing with using biscuits, instead of making your own dumplings, is that for some reason the sauce doesn't thicken properly and you have to either add in flour or cornstarch to get it to a thick enough consistency for my liking. Whenever I make the home made dumplings, the sauce thickens without adding anything else to it.

293 Well, it's time M&M's, I must get some sleep for I have to work tonight and receive my triple time. You folks have a blessed Thanksgiving.

294
I do think I'll make some jalapeno and cheese cornbread.  From the package.  I just slice up fresh japs and cube some cheddar, mix it in, pour it into a big iron skillet (use 2 packages of cornbread mix) and back for 15 mins.  Serves 1 (me!).

295

Along with the Heart-Shaped Meatloaf and the Stuffed Dumpling?

Posted by: stuiec at November 25, 2009 03:00 PM (7AOgy)

Heh.  I've never made a meatloaf in my entire life.  Come to think of it, I've never made a dumpling...

Posted by: loppyd at November 25, 2009 03:05 PM (UJIeT)

Well, if you're a newlywed or planning to become one, you'd better learn.

296 275

If you are on a diet try this, it's good: CORN GRITS

We love shrimp and grits.  I usually make it with polenta, same diff, I guess.  I'm going to try to figure out a way to use less cream. 

A really good polenta recipe that may work with modifications is to use less cream but stir in cream cheese at the end.  I've found non-fat cream cheese so maybe that will work.  

Anybody have good gator/cayman recipes?  I have a package in our freezer.  I used to make gator fritters, but I'm thinking it would be better to try to grill them.  I haven't found a convincing recipe yet. 

297 Cranberry Orange Relish:

1 package cranberries
1 orange
1 cup sugar

Pick over the cranberries, removing any squishy ones. Cut the orange into 1/8ths. Put half the cranberries and half the orange into a food processor, pulse into everything's in little chunks. Remove into a big bowl, repeat with the other half.

Once everything's chopped into little pieces, mix in the sugar. Let sit overnight or for a few days. S'good.

298 100 parts of saltpeter,
18 parts of char coal, and (Parts given by weight)
16 parts of sulfur

CATION: Do not mix in a blender

Great, NOW you tell me!!

299

Guy Fieri is making pork and chicken cassoulet right now...looks delish. 

300 Take 8 oz glass...add 2 oz very good bourbon...take egg nog out of fridge and pour that fermented piss down the drain...down bourbon in one shot...repeat several times

301 291,

Great for beef stew and chicken and dumplings should have a recipe book with it.

302

Is a dumpling just a ball of dough?

Posted by: loppyd at November 25, 2009 03:10 PM (UJIeT)

Yes, but it can be done with different types of dough. If you like regular flour-based dumplings (which I usually do), then the biscuits work really well. If you like cornmeal dumplings (I do on special occasions) then it's a little different and it's almost more like a fritter batter than a ball of dough.

303 Hey Nam, you making Cat Head Biscuits?

304

Quart-o-Chili

1 qt. frozen chili

1 twelve-pack of Dos Equis

1 bag of Fritos

Drink beer.  Eat Fritos.  Thaw and warm chili.  Drink chili from second mug.  Mix Fritos with chili for desert ("Frito Pie").

305

Is a dumpling just a ball of dough?

Posted by: loppyd at November 25, 2009 03:10 PM (UJIeT)

In beef or chicken stew, a dumpling is basically biscuit dough that cooks in the stew at the last half-hour (like the Bisquick box says).  Or it can be a flatter dough cut into strips or squares and cooked in the stew.

Elsewhere, "dumpling" takes on different meanings.  Won tons, pot stickers and ravioli are all dumplings.  So are gnocchi.  So is spaetzle (soft dough squeezed into boiling broth to make random shapes).

306 A good and easy crockpot recipe is just to throw some boneless ribs in there, mix some BBQ sauce, brown sugar, a little water, pepper and salt, i usually throw a chopped up habenero in there, then pour that over the top and cook on low for about 5 hours.

307

Yes, but it can be done with different types of dough. If you like regular flour-based dumplings (which I usually do), then the biscuits work really well. If you like cornmeal dumplings (I do on special occasions) then it's a little different and it's almost more like a fritter batter than a ball of dough.

Posted by: Mandy P. at November 25, 2009 03:14 PM (MK6Kx)

I have lived such a sheltered life.  Got a recipe?  Do I just I drop them in my chicken soup?

308 303,

Just about every morning my friend, doesn't everyone?

309 Posted by: Y-not at November 25, 2009 03:12 PM (sey23)

Cream in your grits?? ACK!!! My southern sensibilities are cringing right now. Use water. They come out just fine.

310 Everybody has been taught that the white man had no respect for the Indians, when if fact for the most part with some exceptions, we did.

Posted by: Samuel Adams at November 25, 2009 02:59 PM (nxUYP)

I believe General Sherman's father would agree with you.

311

I’m off to the liquor store to stock up. I have no bourbon in the house right now. WTF is that about?

312

stuiec

Marshmellow meatballs going into the weekly rotation. 

313 I think we are dead. We made brownies and time is going by really really really really slow.

314 PGiS - it evaporates, or at least thats what I used to tell my dad.

315

I have lived such a sheltered life.  Got a recipe?  Do I just I drop them in my chicken soup?

Posted by: loppyd at November 25, 2009 03:17 PM (UJIeT)

The search engine is your friend.  Or foodnetwork.com.  (Or the side of the Bisquick box.  Seriously.)

316 Best Holiday biscuit would be one that I baked watching The One and his family leaving our White House.

317

This is so easy, it is absolutely ridiculous!!

Cube sweet potatoes and beets (Yes, beets).

Lightly coat them in olive oil, salt and pepper.

Spread them, on, foil, over a pan--throw them in the oven at 400 degrees.

Takes about thirty minutes, and you have a very healthy and delicious side dish.

Beets are an antioxidant have vitamin C, iron, and fiber. Sweet potatoes have vitamin A and C. And both are good for your colon!!

318 Recipe Blogging:  Scotch Surprise

1)  Get a bottle of scotch
2)  Drink it.
3)  Get another.  Drink it.
4)  Put on a kilt.  Don't wear underwear.  Or shoes.  Or a shirt.
5)  Start shouting incoherently at the neighbors.  Curse at them.
6)  Get another bottle.  Start drinking it.
7)  When the police come, vomit on them.
  When you wake up in jail the next morning, act surprised.

This also works for vodka, but replace the kilt in #4 with one of those funny Russian fur hats.

319

^{While we're on the subject, got any slow-cooker recipes?  I've got a brand new one sitting in the box with all of the other gizmos I am afraid of.}

^{Posted by: loppyd at November 25, 2009 03:11 PM}

OK, this is the best recipe ever.  And it's cheap (get pork blade roast, bone-in, when it's about $1 a pound on sale - skip the tenderloin, it's better with the cheaper cut of meat).  I make it in an Emile Henry flameware covered casserole (starting on the stove top then moving to the oven at low heat), but if you want to use a slow cooker, just sear the meat in a pan and then transfer it (and as much of the good scrapings from the pan) into your slow cooker.  I found it at Kevin Weeks' Seriously Good blog.

I have a really good and simple pot roast recipe I'll try to dig up.  Basically, it's just braising pot roast in port with some fresh mushrooms and, I think, some garlic.  I used to make my mom's pot roast (which used horseradish and onions) but this is so much better. 

I have a chicken recipe that involves braising.  The key to it is using these really good rabbit-pork sausages.  I'll try to find that one, too. 

320 291--

Dump two pounds of stew meat (or you can even use a roast or pork, if'n ya want) into your crock pot. Pour a bottle (16-ish ounces) of salsa verde on top. Cover and cook on low for 8 hours. Serve over rice or use it as burrito filling.

So easy a retarded moron can do it, and the fam raves about it.

321 A good and easy crockpot recipe is just to throw some boneless ribs in there, mix some BBQ sauce, brown sugar, a little water, pepper and salt, i usually throw a chopped up habenero in there, then pour that over the top and cook on low for about 5 hours.

Posted by: Mr. Pink at November 25, 2009 03:16 PM (SqAkN)

That would be great if I had a good BBQ sauce recipe.

cough cough Nam cough cough

322
no self respecting southerner uses instant grits

323 PGiS   You mean to tell me that you do not know what happened to the Bourbon?   Or did it just evaporate?

324

Marshmellow meatballs going into the weekly rotation. 

Posted by: loppyd at November 25, 2009 03:18 PM (UJIeT)

Alka-Seltzer took out a two-page ad spread in TV Guide back in the day with those recipes printed in it.  I wonder how many people actually tried them.

325

100 parts of saltpeter,
18 parts of char coal, and (Parts given by weight)
16 parts of sulfur

1 part magnesium

5 parts ferric oxide

5 parts aluminum filings

Microwave on HIGH for 10 minutes.

326 Why are southerners on this blog?

327

#314  Jean   Sorry about that.  you were quicker on the keyboard than me!

328

316 Best Holiday biscuit would be one that I baked watching The One and his family leaving our White House.

Don't let the door hit you in your fly weight ass biscuits?

329

Y-Not

Thanks!  I just saved the link.  Would love to try a new pot roast recipe if you can find yours. 

330 Wait a few days after Thanksgiving, when you're SICK of leftover turkey (although, that's never happened to me) and try this.

Nissin Original Chow Mein* (assorted flavors).
1/2 cup of chopped Turkey.

Cook the Chow Mein in the microwave (4.5 to 5 minutes). Heat the turkey for 1 minute or two. Mix 'em up.

Serves 2.

Delish!

*Surprisingly nice. Tastes a lot like Panda Express chow mein.

331
Recipe Blogging:  Scotch Surprise

Now that's a moron living the lifestyle, right there.

332

I have lived such a sheltered life.  Got a recipe?  Do I just I drop them in my chicken soup?

Posted by: loppyd at November 25, 2009 03:17 PM (UJIeT)

For cornmeal dumplings?

2 cups yellow corn meal

2 tbsp flour

2tbsp melted butter or oil

3 tbsp of milk (or add 1 more if too thick)

salt/pepper, to taste

Mix it up and drop by about a tbsp full into any hot broth and cook for 10 minutes or so with the lid on.

Regular dumplings?

1/4 cup oil or melted butter

1 cup milk

2 1/2 cups flour

1 tbsp baking powder

1 tbsp each salt and sugar

Mix well and drop by teaspoons into hot broth. Cook covered for 20 minutes and don't peek until the 20 minutes are up.

333

Beets are an antioxidant have vitamin C, iron, and fiber. Sweet potatoes have vitamin A and C. And both are good for your colon!!

Posted by: crystal at November 25, 2009 03:20 PM (KVSUW)

In fact, you could call this recipe "Gulf War Chairman" - you know, 'cause it's your "Colon Pal"!

334 Nothing beats Mosselen met Frites for Thanksgiving. No matter where you are.

335

Posted by: Mandy P. at November 25, 2009 03:24 PM (MK6Kx)

Geez, Mandy... such a stickler for scratch cooking.  Whaddya got against Bisquick?

336

I used to make my mom's pot roast (which used horseradish and onions) but this is so much better.
 
Posted by: Y-not at November 25, 2009 03:20 PM (sey23)

Don't ever call me again bitch. 

337

Eat just a tad too much during the holidays?  Well, relief is on its way! Barry Obama is providing is personal recipe for holiday Ipecac.

Ingredients: 1 recorded episode of Opah/Obama Christmas Special

Directions: Turn on tv, cue up Obama Christmas special. Watch until obtaining relief. Repeat as necessary.

338

Nam

Is a dumpling just a ball of dough?

Sorta, it's more like a ball of dough with heart.

339

I just use store bought BBQ and mix it with all the stuff I mentioned.

PS a good hot sauce is Chalula, stock up on that to spice up meals if you don't wanna go full bore and use the habenero.

340 I'm going to try out the new Russian Hobo Sausage recipe. Yum!

341 334 Nothing beats Mosselen met Frites for Thanksgiving. No matter where you are.

Posted by: Jack is Back! at November 25, 2009 03:24 PM (BxwTG)

You mean, like moules?  'Cause I almost thought it was like "Musselman met Frites."  My Flemish is not so good.

342

Mandy P.

Just printed that out.  Thank you!!  I make soup/stew a lot and this will add a nice new twist. 

343 321,

I once had a BIL pull a knife on me at a family gathering because I wouldn't give him the recipe for my rib sauce and marinade, I kicked his ass and he divorced my Sis a few months later and the secret is still mine. LOL

344 This is a recipe for braising.  It's very good.  But don't bother with the poussin... just use either game hens or chicken.  Actually, I think rabbit would be really good instead of chicken. 

Oh, and skip the lemon juice (just use the rind) and substitute the white wine for white dry vermouth.  The latter is a trick from Julia Child that really has transformed my cooking. 

I believe we got the sausages at an on-line place called Fossil Farms. 

Poussin and rabbit sausage with lemon sage sauce
(My own invention)

Sear poussin halves (dredged in flour seasoned with salt, pepper, and zest of half a lemon) and sausages in vegetable oil. Set aside.
Drain oil, add 2 tbsp butter, and saute chopped leeks, diced shallots, and fresh sage (I used 10 this time, but would increase next time). When leeks begin to brown, add remaining lemon zest, juice of one lemon (I would probably eliminate that next time), whole garlic clove (peeled), and white wine. Return poussin and sausages to the pan. Cover tightly and braise in a 375 deg oven for at least one hour (I wound up cooking about 1.5 hours, but the poussin was starting to fall apart). Check occasionally - add some chicken broth as liquid evaporates to keep the meat partially covered.
To finish, remove meat and on the stove top over medium heat vigorously stir sauce (the garlic and leeks should be very tender at this point and practically dissolve into the sauce) while adding cream (and chicken broth). Salt to taste.
Strain sauce before serving.

A sauvignon blanc or fume blanc would go well with this dish.

345

In fact, you could call this recipe "Gulf War Chairman" - you know, 'cause it's your "Colon Pal"!

Posted by: stuiec at November 25, 2009 03:24 PM (7AOgy)

ya got me.

346 Posted by: loppyd at November 25, 2009 03:11 PM

Pot Roast

3-5 lb boneless beef roast
1 envelope Lipton onion and mushroom soup mix (powdered)
1 can cream of mushroom or celery soup

Put roast in crock pot. Sprinkle dry soup mix over the top. Spoon canned soup over the entire thing. Cook on low for 8 hours. When it's done, the meat will be falling apart, well seasoned, and the soup mix plus the creamed soup combine in the pot to make a really good gravy.

347

Divorcee Stew

1 can Dinty Moore Beef Stew

1 twelve-pack Dos Equis

1 prescription anti-depressants

Double-up on anti-depressants.  Eat stew.  Drink beer.  Try to make it all the way to Christmas.

348

Geez, Mandy... such a stickler for scratch cooking.  Whaddya got against Bisquick?

Posted by: stuiec at November 25, 2009 03:25 PM (7AOgy)

I'm a stay-at-home-mom, so I've got the time on my hands to do it from scratch. Plus, IMO, everything comes out better that way.

349 And cooking from scratch can save you a ton of money.

350

Best thread ever.

 

A simple appetizer I really like is called somebodyorother’s secrets.  This combines bacon, sugar, and ketchup, using water chestnuts as a carrier.

 

Take a bunch of whole water chestnuts (at least 2 cans) and a pound of bacon.  Cut the bacon slices in half (not the long way) and wrap the water chestnuts with the strips.  Skewer them together with tooth picks.

 

Bake the skewered water chestnuts for 20 minutes at 350, on a cookie sheet.

 

Meanwhile, mix 2 cups of sugar with 2 cups of ketchup in a sauce pan, and heat/stir it until it blends together.

 

Once the chestnut wraps have baked, dip each in the red sauce you just made.  Slather it on there good and heavy.  Place the now reddened chestnuts back on the cookie sheet.  I like to pour a little extra sauce onto them, just in case the calorie layer is not thick enough. 

 

Then put them back in the oven for another 15 – 20 minutes to carmelize.  Then you're done.

351

ya got me.

Posted by: crystal at November 25, 2009 03:29 PM (KVSUW)

BTW, I hope you warn your dinner guests that what they will see the next day isn't evidence of rectal bleeding, it's just beets.

Beets, peas and corn: the ideal additions to your diet to monitor the speed of the digestive process end-to-end.

352 My God, why do all the rumaki recipes on this thread leave out the chicken livers?!?  They're essential in the balance: liver with bacon and (non-onion water chestnut) crunch.

353

I'm a stay-at-home-mom, so I've got the time on my hands to do it from scratch. Plus, IMO, everything comes out better that way.

Agreed, Mandy.  And you can control the seasoning...

 

354 Clearly I need Mandy to come to my house for a month and help me convert all of my diabetes-inducing recipes into healthful ones!

355 Anyone like Atomic Buffalo Turds?

Was thinking of making a batch this year, but I am not sure I want to fire up the smoker.

356 Another good crock pot recipe is one I stole from Sparkpeople.com.

Chicken Taco Stew

1 can black beans
1 can kidney beans
1 can corn, drained
1 small can tomato sauce
1 small onion, chopped
1 packet taco seasoning
2 cans Rotel tomatoes
1 lb boneless chicken breast

Dump both cans of beans (liquid and all) into the crock pot with corn, tomato sauce, taco seasoning, onion, and tomatoes (juice and all). Mix well. Lay the chicken on top and put the lid on. Cook on low for 8 hours (or high for 4 hours if you're in a hurry). When it's done, pull out the chicken and shred it, then put it back in the pot and mix it up well. Serve hot with shredded cheese or your favorite toppings (like green onions, guacamole, sour cream).

357

I'm a stay-at-home-mom, so I've got the time on my hands to do it from scratch. Plus, IMO, everything comes out better that way.

Posted by: Mandy P. at November 25, 2009 03:30 PM (MK6Kx)

Ah, but at least even you have to admit that the Lipton's and Campbell's soups are handy shortcuts once in a while (per your crockpot pot roast recipe).

358

Truman's Holiday Egg Nog

1. Take some egg nog, like you buy in the store

2. Pour it in a bowl.

3. Sprinkle some nutmeg on top.

4. Serve.  Very festive.

Our Egg Nog recipe:

Buy the BORDENS eggnog in a can.

Put in feezer, shake every 30 minutes for a few hours.

Enjoy ice creamy eggnog!

359 Honestly I love crockpot recipes. Put them on the morning before you go to work, come home and you have a delicious meal.

360

Thanksgiving Sandwich

Ingredients:

A whole bunch of thanksgiving crap other people cooked.

2 slices of cheese.

2 pieces of toast.

Directions:

Put a little bit of all the crap with some cheese between the toast.

Eat carefully.

 

 

 

Pro Tip: Consider consistency in the structural architecture of the sandwich. Melted cheese in direct contact with refridgerated cranberry jelly will just go all soupy and run out of your sammich. Mashed potatos, sweet potatos and stuffing can all be used to mortar together layers of loose pieces of broccoli or turkey.

361

You guys eat on the holidays??

I keep an iv of hot apple cider totty's pumping through my veins until I'm incoherent and the family disputes are unintelligible.

362

356 Mandy

That sounds so good.  Printed that one too.

This is great!

 

363

Mandy,

Are you suppose to brown the chicken breast on the stove before you throw them in the pot?

364 These roasted vegetables are the best, and simple:

Preheat oven to 425.

Put asparagus or broccoli/cauliflower mix on no stick pan. Drizzle with olive oil. Salt and Pepper. Roast for 20-25 minutes.  If you want an Italian flavor, put some parmesan on top after it cools a little. Add a little more olive oil and serve.

Also Alton Brown's guacamole is the best. I bring it every year because peole love it.

365 Beets, peas and corn: the ideal additions to your diet to monitor the speed of the digestive process end-to-end.

My grandmother used to grow a mutant variety of huckleberry she used exclusively for pie that turned your face/tongue purple and your poop green.  That was the highlight of every childhood holiday.  Good times, good times.

One year they didn't come up and my dad didn't save any seeds, so the strain is gone.  I have no idea if an heirloom seed dealer would have anything similar.  Sigh.  My niece and nephews are deprived.

366

While we're on the subject, got any slow-cooker recipes?  I've got a brand new one sitting in the box with all of the other gizmos I am afraid of.

Posted by: loppyd at November 25, 2009 03:11 PM (UJIeT) -

Brown one venison roast on all sides in skillet

Place roast in crock pot with four scrubbed and quartered baking potatoes - 2 quartered onions and a bag of scrubbed carrots that are cut in half (no, not lengthwise you moron). Add enough water to half cover the roast and cook on low all day (while you're at work). Remove the meat and veggies and use the broth to make gravy.

367 355 Anyone like Atomic Buffalo Turds?

Was thinking of making a batch this year, but I am not sure I want to fire up the smoker.

Posted by: Rickshaw Jack at November 25, 2009 03:34 PM (O/ezx)

It sounds like it's worth the effort.  But why buffalo turds?  They much more closely resemble, say, buffalo foreskins.

368 Posted by: Reactionary at November 25, 2009 03:31 PM (P+HSn)

I've got a good recipe for bacon that's sort-of similar to your water-chestnut one.

You take a pound of bacon and cut each slice into 3-4 smaller slices (width-wise). Wrap each piece around a Hillshire Farms Little Smokie (All Beef- not the ones with cheese in them) Sausage, and secure with a toothpick. Put them in a baking pan and top with 1 box of light brown sugar. Bake at 350 until the sugar melts.

I make these for parties and never have any left. They're so easy and freaking delicious!

369 My favorite dip (low calorie low fat yeh right)

1 tomato chopped (seeded and peeled if you want)
1 can ortega green chilies diced (I use serrano's or grillejo (or how ever you spell it) which are a little hotter but not jalapeno's which I don't like the taste of.)
1 medium onion diced
1 tablespoon butter or lard
1 8oz cream cheese cubed
1 pint heavy cream

Melt fat in sauce pan cook onions until just starting to turn transparent add diced chilies cook 5 min med low heat.  Add diced tomatoes cook 15 minutes.  Add cream cheese stirring constantly until melted.  Add cream.  Serve hot with chips and veggies.

This freezes well so you can make it ahead and then thaw and heat. Don't let it boil or you'll have problems because of the cream and cheese.

I usually make it in triple batches for 4-6 people and never have any left.

370

no self respecting southerner uses instant grits

No self respecting Northerner eats grits.  If I wanted to eat tasteless mush, I'd just put some honey and salt on wet toilet paper and save myself the cooking time.

What the hell is it with grits anyways?  The south has awesome BBQ, chili, tex-mex, etc.  I really don't get it.  I've tasted air that was less bland.

 

371

Mandy,

Are you suppose to brown the chicken breast on the stove before you throw them in the pot?

Posted by: crystal at November 25, 2009 03:38 PM (KVSUW)

Nope. Just put them in right on top. I've even put the frozen chicken breasts right on top and it came out just fine.

372 One year they didn't come up and my dad didn't save any seeds, so the strain is gone.  I have no idea if an heirloom seed dealer would have anything similar.  Sigh.  My niece and nephews are deprived.

Posted by: HeatherRadish at November 25, 2009 03:38 PM (NtiET)

Were they a very different strain from wild huckleberries?

373

teej

What would you suggest instead of venison?  That won't fly with mr. loppyd...

374
My mom is 97 and still makes this family favorite of the past 60 years.

Mom's Peanut Butter Pie

1 tbs oleo
8 tbs flour
2/3 cup sugar
1/2 tsp salt
2 egg yokes
1 tsp vanilla
2 tbs powered sugar
2 cups milk
2 egg whites
3 tbs peanut butter
baked pie shell (Crisco recipe the best)

Melt oleo - add flour, salt, sugar, and milk.  Cook over hot water bath until it starts to thicken.  Temper egg yokes with custard, then return all to custard.  Cook additional 10 minutes or until thick.  Remove from heat and add vanilla.

Mix peanut butter with 2/3 box powered sugar until it looks like cornmeal.  Put 1/2 of mixture into pie shell and pour custard over top.  Add balance of peanut butter/powered sugar mixture to top of pie.

Beat egg whites, add 2 tsp of powered sugar and spoon onto pie.  Bake at 325 until whites are golden brown.

Butthead relatives will forgo other food so as to consume as much pie as possible.  Some of the jerks ask for take out pie, and prove their liberal leanings by making assholes of themselves.  Thankfully, only once year. 

375

No self respecting Northerner eats grits.

Hey.. I like grits.

It's not crazy good but it's better then oatmeal.

I think you're suppose to put stuff in it, like cinnamon and butter and crap.

376 four pack Dogfish Head 120 Min IPA.

377

Hollowpoint

This Northerner loves grits.  With tons of salt and buttah...

Maybe you haven't had good grits?

378 370,

Grits are made with love if you find someone that can make them right, I make a mean batch all the time and they are great.

379

Posted by: Mandy P. at November 25, 2009 03:39 PM (MK6Kx)

Ehhxcellent...  Yours has little sausages in it and is easier.  How can one go wrong?  I'll have to use that one to pass at this year's Christmas parties.

380

BTW, I hope you warn your dinner guests that what they will see the next day isn't evidence of rectal bleeding, it's just beets.

Beets, peas and corn: the ideal additions to your diet to monitor the speed of the digestive process end-to-end.

Posted by: stuiec at November 25, 2009 03:32 PM (7AOgy)

 

Lol. I'm just taking a cake. But my six-year old FREAKED out during his first BM after eating the beets.

381

Posted by: airedale at November 25, 2009 03:39 PM (lq3f+)

Now that sounds like a worthy use of the peppers we grew this year.  We didn't eat any, and they've all dried nicely.

382 stuiec--I don't know.  I don't think I've ever had wild huckleberries.

383 Clearly I need Mandy to come to my house for a month and help me convert all of my diabetes-inducing recipes into healthful ones!

Posted by: Y-not at November 25, 2009 03:34 PM (sey23)

Oh no! I'm not a very healthy cook. I use the Splenda stuff for my diabetic relatives, but everything else I make is loaded in fat. I use real butter and bacon grease in every recipe I can fit them into.

384 Fowl stuffing

2 breasts
Knead them well, then knead them some more
Add a pinch, or two
Apply grease or lubricant
Stuff it really good
Let it simmer

385 373,

Try Mr. Speeekahhhhh! Actually a pork roast is fine bunny-hop.

386 Grits are made with love if you find someone that can make them right, I make a mean batch all the time and they are great.

Posted by: 'Nam Grunt at November 25, 2009 03:42 PM (65lJF)

I prefer the hoity-toity Italian grits (polenta).

387 Ah, but at least even you have to admit that the Lipton's and Campbell's soups are handy shortcuts once in a while (per your crockpot pot roast recipe).

Posted by: stuiec at November 25, 2009 03:36 PM (7AOgy)

I didn't say I made everything from scratch. And I do use shortcuts quite a bit. But like I said, I've got the time, so why not make what I can. Especially baked products. I love to bake, so I make everything I can from scratch when baking.

388

Recipe for photo-op:  (feeds 1 brazillion troops)

HDPE Pellets  -  1 cup

Blow mold    -  turkey shaped

Place pellets in hopper, heat, blow, serve.

389

1 part magnesium

5 parts ferric oxide

5 parts aluminum filings

Microwave on HIGH for 10 minutes.

heh it wouldn't make it past 2 minutes

390 382 stuiec--I don't know.  I don't think I've ever had wild huckleberries.

Posted by: HeatherRadish at November 25, 2009 03:43 PM (NtiET)

I first saw wild huckleberries in the Pygmy Forest in Mendocino County.  It's a place where the soil is so acid from poor drainage that the pine trees only grow to two feet tall... but the azaleas, rhododendrons and huckleberries thrive.  Apparently before the Europeans came, the Indians would periodically set wildfires to spur regrowth of the huckleberries to increase their crop.

Oregon is also huckleberry-rich.  Maybe a nursery or seed company there could help.

391

Hey.. I like grits.

It's not crazy good but it's better then oatmeal.

I think you're suppose to put stuff in it, like cinnamon and butter and crap.

Posted by: Entropy at November 25, 2009 03:42 PM (IsLT6)

Cinnamon goes into oatmeal but I don't recommend it in grits. Grits are the best (IMO) well salted with tons of butter. But they're also really good with cheese, crumbled bacon or sausage, red-eye gravy, and even with jalapenos. One of my favorite things to do with grits is to make jalapeno cheese grits, pour them into a rectangular baking dish and let them cool in the fridge overnight. Next day I cut them into small squares, dip them in egg (sometimes egg and cornmeal) and fry them until golden. Delicious!

392 Alex's Holiday Feast

1.  Go to Mommy's House

2.  Whine at Mommy until Mommy makes favorite foods

3.  Do the dishes so as not to be killed in sleep.

4.  Enjoy!

Actually, I'm the sous chef so I get to do all the chopping and peeling and, if I'm v v good, put together the green bean casserole. 

We (by which I mean Mommy) did the turkey and stuffing today so that all that's on the schedule for tomorrow are the sides. 

393

heh it wouldn't make it past 2 minutes

Posted by: chemjeff at November 25, 2009 03:48 PM (F+U5/)

And it would probably cause the flying saucer in the ice to explode and disintegrate.

394 Actually, I'm the sous chef so I get to do all the chopping and peeling and, if I'm v v good, put together the green bean casserole. 

We (by which I mean Mommy) did the turkey and stuffing today so that all that's on the schedule for tomorrow are the sides. 

Posted by: alexthechick at November 25, 2009 03:49 PM (bQ5xy)

This is why we had children: so we could send THEM to Grandma's to help with the Thanksgiving cooking.

395

@373 Posted by: loppyd at November 25, 2009 03:41 PM (UJIeT) -

Works with a beef roast too, I just prefer venison. I do brown all my roasts before putting them in the pot as it seems to help hold in the meats juices somewhat and the roast seems to just look more appetizing too. I like this one 'cause you've got a plate of meat, taters, carrots and onions from one pot. Well, not counting the skillet you browned the roast in.

396 Listened to coast to coast last night while going to sleep and it's safe to say the moonbats are alive and well, dumbasses!

397

Hollowpoint

This Northerner loves grits.  With tons of salt and buttah...

Maybe you haven't had good grits?

That's like asking if I've ever had a good prostate exam.

Of course you'd eat it with tons of salt and butter.  Otherwise you wouldn't be able to tell if you were eating grits or accidentally ate your napkin.

398  everything else I make is loaded in fat. I use real butter and bacon grease in every recipe I can fit them into.

Posted by: Mandy P. at November 25, 2009 03:43 PM (MK6Kx) -

now that's my kind of cook right there

399 For dessert, Swedish apple pie. Easy to make, damn good.
http://tinyurl.com/yjetmpe

And for cocktail hour, to make the demons come out to play and entertain the family:

The Mojo Nixon
1 2-liter bottle Mountain Dew
1 liter gin

Empty half of Mountain Dew from bottle. Add gin. Shake. Consume. Get strange.

Happy Thanksgiving, Morons!

400 I didn't say I made everything from scratch. And I do use shortcuts quite a bit. But like I said, I've got the time, so why not make what I can. Especially baked products. I love to bake, so I make everything I can from scratch when baking.

Posted by: Mandy P. at November 25, 2009 03:45 PM (MK6Kx)

Baked from scratch is a very, very good thing.  And some really simple scratch recipes, like Dutch babies and popovers, have an almost infinite goodness-to-effort ratio.

Do you ever look at the cakes on Cake Wrecks (the good ones, not the disasters) and wish you could make one of those?  I marvel at the work that goes into those.

401 Here's the port roast recipe.  (Or close enough... I think I got the original from Frugal Gourmet.) 

It's very good, but pretty expensive because of the port. 

Again, I don't use a crock pot (I have the time to braise in the oven), but I think it would be best to sear the meat in a pan and transfer the pan goodies from the searing into the crock pot.

402 if i don't die of H1N1 by tomorrow i might set aside my vegetarianism for an afternoon and eat a pound of bacon. seriously make sure you bring a bottle of hand sanitizer and stay away from your liberal relatives.

403

now that's my kind of cook right there

Posted by: teej at November 25, 2009 03:54 PM (QdUKm)

I figure, you only live once. May as well enjoy it.

404 I have the hobo and the Valu-Rite.  How long do I simmer?

405 397,

Once I stopped at truck stop in Illinois and had grits w/my ham and eggs and they were the best, found out that the cook was from Mississippi.

406 Oh man.  The turkey literally just came out of the stove.  My mother is already having to keep me and my dad from going all Bumpus hounds on it. 

407 Sorry, but my wife is the cook, so all I got is:
Get glass, add ice, fill half with Crown Royal, add your favorite cola.

As for food, I would ask Oprah, she seems to be packing it away pretty good.

408

I figure, you only live once. May as well enjoy it.

Posted by: Mandy P. at November 25, 2009 03:54 PM (MK6Kx) -

and my kind of philosopher too

409 I always use real butter in anything I cook, any other substitute is a hoax!!!!

410

Do you ever look at the cakes on Cake Wrecks (the good ones, not the disasters) and wish you could make one of those?  I marvel at the work that goes into those.

Posted by: stuiec at November 25, 2009 03:54 PM (7AOgy)

Just saw the site for the first time. Wow. I have a cousin-in-law who makes the most beautiful cakes. She made mine for my wedding and it looked gorgeous and was extremely tasty. I can bake a mean cake, but I don't have the patience to fiddle with all the decorating. I will ice and garnish it nicely, but all the fondant and such is way too much effort for me. When my cakes are done, I want to get down to the business of eating them ASAP. So spending hours on the outside of the cake just unnecessarily prolongs the process.

411

Hmmmnnn...grits with sugar and butter. yummmmmm

I'm from Oklahoma. I eat fried catfish too. I'm black. I also eat greens with cornbread. But HELL NAW, I don't eat chittlin's. I have to work out while I sleep to sustain my health.

412

I have the hobo and the Valu-Rite.  How long do I simmer?

Posted by: Cicero at November 25, 2009 03:55 PM (QKKT0)

Apparently, three days:

NEW YORK —  The Chinese dish known as Drunken Chicken has nothing on a bird that'll be dressing up a New York City tavern's Thanksgiving fare — it may require legal ID to eat.

Owner Paul Hurley today is unveiling what he calls the nation's first 100-proof turkey.

A spokesman for the owner of O'Casey's Tavern in Midtown Manhattan says that the bird is infused with fruit-flavored and 100-proof Georgi vodka for three days before being cooked.

The flavors of vodka include peach, raspberry, cherry and apple.

The gravy is also laced with the distilled liquor.

Out of concern for the danger of drinking-and-driving, the tavern is offering a free taxi ride home to anyone who orders the turkey.

It wasn't immediately clear how much it will cost to have some of the boozy bird.

413

I'm from Oklahoma. I eat fried catfish too. I'm black. I also eat greens with cornbread. But HELL NAW, I don't eat chittlin's. I have to work out while I sleep to sustain my health.

Posted by: crystal at November 25, 2009 03:59 PM (KVSUW)

Chittlins is like matzah: a culinary reminder of our past and our heritage, the food we had to eat when other people were making our choices for us.

414 Hannibal Hamlin was Lincoln's first vice-president.  Mark Twain was Samuel Clemens.

415 I have to work out while I sleep to sustain my health.

Posted by: crystal at November 25, 2009 03:59 PM (KVSUW)

Me, too. Well, to sustain my figure anyway. If I didn't exercise regularly, they'd be craning me out of the house. With all the butter and bacon grease I use, I'll likely have a heart attack by the time I'm 35.

416 411,

Fried catfish is the only way to eat that wonderful fillet, sometimes I just hang them on a nail and skin them and throw them in the black iron pan smothered in cornmeal & onions. mmmmmmmm!

417

Just saw the site for the first time. Wow. I have a cousin-in-law who makes the most beautiful cakes. She made mine for my wedding and it looked gorgeous and was extremely tasty. I can bake a mean cake, but I don't have the patience to fiddle with all the decorating. I will ice and garnish it nicely, but all the fondant and such is way too much effort for me. When my cakes are done, I want to get down to the business of eating them ASAP. So spending hours on the outside of the cake just unnecessarily prolongs the process.

Posted by: Mandy P. at November 25, 2009 03:59 PM (MK6Kx)

The disasters -- the "wrecks" -- on that site are hilarious!

They did have one post some days or weeks ago showing a cake decorated with hand-piped sugar icing that was suspended, like icicles.  Imagine having to pipe a bead of icing so slowly and steadily that it solidifies as you pipe it....

418 Oh no! I'm not a very healthy cook. I use the Splenda stuff for my diabetic relatives, but everything else I make is loaded in fat. I use real butter and bacon grease in every recipe I can fit them into.

Posted by: Mandy P. at November 25, 2009 03:43 PM (MK6Kx)

Mandy, if I was in to chicks, I'd be into you.

419 Alright morons and moronettes,

Gotta go. Time to do some housework, then off to work on cooking prep for tomorrow, then on to finish crocheting the tree skirt for my Christmas tree. Yes, I said crochet. Remember, I'm a SAHM, so cut me some slack.

420 Hannibal Hamlin was Lincoln's first vice-president.   Posted by: huerfano at November 25, 2009 04:01 PM (vtuZz)   He ate Lincoln's brain with grits and a nice Chianti.  Or am I mixing up my Hannibals?

421 crystal,

We know how to cook darlin'!

422

Nam

I'd be a load if I lived with you.

423

Chittlins is like matzah: a culinary reminder of our past and our heritage, the food we had to eat when other people were making our choices for us.

Posted by: stuiec at November 25, 2009 04:01 PM (7AOgy)

 

stuiec

You are spot-on. ANd because of that, I tried.I really did. I've done everything from loading them with onions, to dumping an entire bottle of Lousisiana Hot Sauce on top.I think the problem lies in the fact that I have been in the house WHILE they were being prepared. I'm 31, and I still have nightmares.

I do love neckbones, and I put ham hocks in my beans. yummm.

424

Or am I mixing up my Hannibals?

Other than that , Mrs. Lincoln, how did you like the play?

425 My turkey's done so I'm off for now!  Happy Thanksgivingus to you all. 

426 422,

Happy fat and sassy honey, no worries I would keep you busy tromping through the woods to find game for the pit.

427 Get glass, add ice, fill half with Crown Royal, add your favorite cola.
drink, rinse and repeat.

FTFY, ruining good stuff with damn coke!

428

Oreo Ice Cream Sandwich Dessert

12 ice cream sandwiches

1/2 cup hot fudge topping

1 box (4 serving size) instant chocolate pudding mix

8 Oreos

8 ounces Cool Whip, thawed

Warm hot fudge till stirrable but not hot. Fold in 1 cup Cool Whip. Stir in pudding mix. Crumble up Oreos and stir into fudge mixture. Place piece of foil on cutting board. Place 4 ice cream sandwiches on foil side by side. Spread with half of fudge mixture. Top with 4 more ice cream sandwiches. Top with remaining fudge mixture and then with remaining ice cream sandwiches. Frost top and sides with remaining Cool Whip. Freeze 4 hours. Thaw 15 minutes before cutting.

 

 

429 #427   Amen Vic, Amen. I just checked to see if mine was in the launch position.  ONT time!

430 427,

I'm a beer drinker and I'm damn good at it, nevertheles you and yours have a great TG Bro'!

431

World's easiest, if not best crock pot "recipe":

Take the frozen chicken out of the freezer.

Put in in the crockpot.

Add one bottle of BBQ sauce.

Cook on low all day.

 

Yeh, it's pretty basic, but everyone has days when it comes in handy.

Another yummy favorite, that I don't have a name for, but is kielbasa and would be fine with your favorite sausage:

1/2 c. ketchup

1/2 c brown sugar

1 tablespoon spicey mustard

(vinegar if you want a little)

1 lb kielbasa

Cook in crock or on stove on low for 3-4 hours. May want to add more brown sugar.

Great for parties if you can get it there without spilling it in your car or burning your ankles.

 

432 Futhermore Happy TG to all my Veteran Bro's past, present and future GOD BLESS our TROOPS and their FAMILIES!!!!

433 I'm a beer drinker and I'm damn good at it, nevertheles you and yours have a great TG Bro'!

Oh I do the beers along with the brown as well. And you have a good holiday as well.

This has been a funny thread. Some of these entries I have laughed until I had tears coming from my eyes.

But I got to get some stuff done before Beck comes on in a few minutes.  So I am going to call it an early day.

So to all the Morons, have a good night and don't get stupid drunk. Have a good holiday tomorrow. I'll be gone most of the day.

434 Super easy carrots vichy:
Some carrots (I don't know how many just make a guess)
Water (maybe a cup or two just depends on how many carrots, you want the water to cover them)
Some sugar (enough to make it sweet but not to sweet maybe half a cup)
little butter (or a lot just depends on your taste)
parsley (rough chop)
Throw everything in a saucier(except the parsley) and let it cook down until the sugar just begins to caramelize. Take it off the heat and throw in the parsley. Make sure to announce that you are serving "carrots vichy" several times so your guests think you are sophisticated.

435

I'm a beer drinker and I'm damn good at it,      Posted by: 'Nam Grunt at November 25, 2009 04:20 PM (65lJF)

Amen to that Brother.

Have Great Thanksgiving Nam.

436 My favorite crock pot cookbook is the Sunset Crockery Cookbook. Other books I'd gotten tend to need 15 different ingredients, which is annoying.

437 I'm trying a fresh cranberry in Earl Grey tea recipe from Sunset magazine...

also bringing Trader Joe's spanikopita, and fried apple cake.

My sister is cooking the turkey & stuffing & green beans.

Happy Thanksgiving, y'all.

438 This is the absolute shiznit. Folks go crazy for it:

Sausagemeat Stuffing

2 oz    butter
2       medium onions
2       medium apples
1 lb    sausagemeat
4 oz    fresh breadcrumbs
2 oz    chopped almonds
4 oz    streaky bacon
Half a teaspoon of sage, chopped fine
Pinch   nutmeg
Eggs    one or more
Salt and pepper

Fry chopped bacon first and set aside.  Chop onion quite finely, and apple into 1/2 inch cubes. Fry onion and apple till soft (NOT BROWN). Mix breadcrumbs, flavourings, seasoning, almonds and chopped bacon with the sausagemeat till well blended. Mix in onion and apple and blend in eggs.

Cook in a pre-heated oven at Gas Mark 6, 400F, 200C for 45 mins - 1 hour. I usually cook it separately in a lightly greased/buttered enamel tin or Pyrex dish. Turn it over half way through, to brown both sides.

439

Thanks to all who shared their crock pot and dough ball recipes!

Now I have to get cracking on my Christmas cards.

Later.

 

440

Happy Thanksgiving!

Eat beets. Your colon will thank you later.

I'm out.

441 OK.  I have beer and a firearm.  And Ol' Tom is out back.  Wish him well.

And basted.

442

I am back from the liquor store with a box of booze. Since we have to go to a state store to buy alcohol here I always stock up while I’m there. Besides, the bourbon felt lonely so it needed some brandy and some vodka and some kahlula and some rum and some butterscotch schnapps to keep it company in the basket. Oh, and a bunch of those adorable little booze bottles that are just right for your purse for visits to relatives.

443

Now I have to get cracking on my Christmas cards.

Ugh, don't remind me. It's a shame that I feel like it's a burden, but there it is.

 butterscotch schnapps

My blood sugar level went up to dangerous levels just reading those words. Can I make that with Splenda??

444 Call it Corn Casserole, call it Corn Pudding, whatever.
This kicks ass, everyone loves it and it's damn easy.

CORN CASSEROLE

1 can corn niblets
1 can creamed corn
1 box JIFFY corn muffin mix
1 c. sour cream
1/2 stick butter

Mix. Bake at 350 for about 1.25 hours or so.

I add chopped green chilis sometimes. (The kind in the little tiny can.)

445

My only recipe involves vodka, ice and green olives. Experiment with the proportions until you get something you like.

Thanks in advance, all, for making this one of the best places on the internets. Enjoy the holiday!

446

Before I share with you Michelle's award winning thanksgiving day receipe for roasted Klingon beast, I want to give a shout out to all the morons and moronettes who are here today.

447 145

I love carrots with butter and nutmeg!

448 1. Spatchcock bird.
2. Mix ground boar and squash. Cook with bird.
3. Serve on bitter greens.


That's right. A spineless turkey stuffed with pork and acorn and a heap of arugula

It's a Kenyan thing. You wouldn't understand.

449

 And Ol' Tom is out back.

 

You seen his downstairs mixup yet?  If you have it's officially thanksgiving!

450

Beer

1 buy beer

Take the beer and pop the top in a manly way.  Drink beer.

 

451 Since you're looking for vegetable recipes, here's a perennial favorite in the H household. 

Jack Daniels Sweet Potatoes
3 cups cups cooked, mashed sweet potatoes
1/4 cup butter
1/2 cup brown sugar
Pinch of salt
3/4 cup Jack Daniel's Whiskey
Pecan halves or marshmallow for topping

Preheat oven to 325 degrees F.

Combine sweet potatoes, butter, brown sugar, salt, and JD.  Spoon into a greased 1-quart casserole. Top with pecans halves or marshmallows. Bake for 20 to 25 minutes until bubbly.

452

"BTW, I hope you warn your dinner guests that what they will see the next day isn't evidence of rectal bleeding, it's just beets."

LOL, what every thoughtful host needs to know!

453 burberry scarf | CD Keys

454 I'm late as usual to the threads, but I have a good excuse. I have been keeping my two grand daughters entertained as they are out of school this week.  My knees are not going to allow me to cook for this holiday so we are eating out tomorrow. It won't be as good but at least everybody will get their turkey and such.

I hope all the old Vets have a good holiday dinner, I'm sure there are many at rest homes or at the soup kitchens that will get food only fit for those who have nothing else. Maybe not, maybe it will taste as good as those choppered in to us on long ago holidays. Maybe they won't have to eat it standing in the rain, or keeping their heads down so they won't be blown off.  But the ones on the line today, the Soldiers, Marines, Sailors, Coasties and others might not be so lucky as to even have a holiday meal. I missed a few and I'm sure that they will too. But I wish them good luck and that they have what they need, even if they don't get all they want.

God Bless and keep them.

Here is my contribution to the fantastic (and funny) recipes from/for the morons.

Holiday Mashed Pototoes

4-5 pounds  potatoes (peeled, cut into chunks)
1 pack     8 oz Cream Cheese
Ľ cup     Butter or half a stick
1 tbsp garlic powder (not garlic salt)
˝ cup     Sour cream
˝ cup     Milk
2 eggs --  beaten
1 bag onion soup mix
1 teaspoon Salt
2-3 dashes Pepper

Preheat oven to 350°F.
(you can prepare tonight and cook tomorrow)

Cook potatoes in a large pot of boiling salted water until tender, about 25 minutes. Drain almost all the water.
Transfer potatoes to large bowl. Add remaining ingredients. Using electric mixer, beat mixture until smooth as you want,
I like it a little chunky. If too thick add a little milk.

Put in big enough baking pan
Cover with foil; bake 20 minutes.
Uncover, bake about 15 minutes longer.
Remove, cover

Have a great Thanksgiving everyone.

Papa Ray

 

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