Whoops: Story Pulled; Hey, Let's Instead Talk about the Capt. "Sully" Sullenberger Plan for Marital Bliss

Damn. The drive to get up a quick, cheap post got me into trouble here.

Story posted below. Drew tells me that not only is this story three years old, but it's been debunked and retracted.

And you know what? Now I remember that. Five minutes ago? Nothing. Now? Face red.

Okay, so, in addition to using this to slam me for being stupid, let me promote this story out of the sidebar and on to the the main page. Captain "Sully" Sullenberger, you'll be glad to know, is getting regular sex from his wife -- "rock star sex," he says.

All it took to turn the pooter-tap was for a near-death-experience where his extreme grace under fire saved 300 lives which then catapulted him to worldwide celebrity and a likely movie-of-the-week bidding war.

So, guys: That's all it takes. So stop complaining.

(Oh, by the way, it went unreported, but Capt. Sully also got hit by a radioactive meteor that gave him the mystical power of having a dick the size of a Jart. So, again: There's the secret, easily achievable by most husbands, so shut up already, your wives just want you to take some initiative.)

Original errant post below the fold.

Sounds like a Plan.

Human rights groups are raising alarms over a new law passed by the Iranian parliament that would require the country's Jews and Christians to wear coloured badges to identify them and other religious minorities as non-Muslims.
"This is reminiscent of the Holocaust," said Rabbi Marvin Hier, the dean of the Simon Wiesenthal Center in Los Angeles. "Iran is moving closer and closer to the ideology of the Nazis."

How so?*

* This joke really only works if I say it loud but I'll try for it in print anyway. I'm going for the joke where this is obviously, incandescently a Nazi move, but all innocently, I ask "In what way?," because I'm retarded, and am having trouble seeing the connection.

See? I told you it only works if it's said out loud.

Thanks to mac.

Posted by: Ace at 04:04 PM

Comments

1 I Love It!

Posted by: Adolf Hitler at November 23, 2009 04:05 PM (xNw7B)

2 why stop there? get special color badges for any fucker who dares believe in a God. we gotta out these scary creationists

Posted by: Charles Johnson (LGF King) at November 23, 2009 04:06 PM (xNw7B)

3 I hate to ask this but, will this cause outrage in the wider Jewish community here in the US?

Posted by: Dr. Spank at November 23, 2009 04:06 PM (GGgoa)

4 I promised myself I would never say it...

Posted by: SoCalSteeler at November 23, 2009 04:06 PM (AoeLY)

5 wow you guys are fast (and I deserve everything I am about to get...)

Posted by: SoCalSteeler at November 23, 2009 04:07 PM (AoeLY)

6 Guys,

Check the date on the story.

It's 3 years old and I'm pretty sure it was debunked as a myth.

Posted by: DrewM. at November 23, 2009 04:07 PM (FCWQb)

7
Thats a wonderful idea, why didn't I think of that ?

Posted by: Adolph Hitler at November 23, 2009 04:07 PM (+FzLa)

8 Yeah, let's negotiate unconditionally with these guys. Look how well it worked for Chamberlain!

Posted by: joncelli at November 23, 2009 04:07 PM (RD7QR)

9 Here we go again...

Posted by: vai2112 at November 23, 2009 04:07 PM (9eb2k)

10 Is Barry still having wagyu and cocktails with Ahmadinejad without preconditions, or will that interfere with his golf?

Posted by: HeatherRadish at November 23, 2009 04:07 PM (NtiET)

11 This joke is similar to "the Roger Cohen", except in that one the retard is malicious instead of innocent.

Posted by: bgates at November 23, 2009 04:08 PM (AKY4c)

12 Hmm, it is 3 years old. This one might need some more research.

Posted by: joncelli at November 23, 2009 04:09 PM (RD7QR)

13 Nice catch DrewM.

Posted by: Dr. Spank at November 23, 2009 04:10 PM (GGgoa)

14 If I recall correctly, the Islamic Agenda is to go after the Saturday people first, then come after the Sunday people.

Seems like this is a useful first step towards that goal.

Posted by: shibumi at November 23, 2009 04:10 PM (OKZrE)

Posted by: Dr. Spank at November 23, 2009 04:06 PM (GGgoa)

yes, but they'll still vote for the guys who refuse to protect them

Posted by: YRM at November 23, 2009 04:10 PM (xNw7B)

16 What about the Indians?

Posted by: Dum-dum (The ghost of, that is) at November 23, 2009 04:11 PM (5aa4z)

That way it'll be easier to behead/stone/cut out the tongues of infidels.

Especially if you have one on your back.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy at November 23, 2009 04:11 PM (ZGhSv)

18 I knew that story sounded familiar....

The Ewok King never disappoints.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at November 23, 2009 04:11 PM (l1Wlr)

19

We don't get the joke ace.

Posted by: The Schutzstaffel at November 23, 2009 04:11 PM (+FzLa)

20 The Iranians came up with a number of solutions to the problem of their inability to readily identify infidels, but they liked the final one best.

/obligatory

Posted by: Chris at November 23, 2009 04:11 PM (SiJV8)

21 If I recall correctly, the Islamic Agenda is to go after the Saturday people first, then come after the Sunday people.

First they came for the college football fans, and I said nothing, because I hate college football. Then they came for the golfers, and there was no one to speak up for me.

Posted by: Herr Morgenholz at November 23, 2009 04:12 PM (5aa4z)

22 it is 3 years old

EPIC FAIL Ace?

Posted by: YRM at November 23, 2009 04:12 PM (xNw7B)

23 Rock star sex? I'd settle for lounge act sex these days.

/Try the veal.

Posted by: joncelli, suddenly changing moods at November 23, 2009 04:13 PM (RD7QR)

24 Didn't Amir Teheri take heat for reporting that something this had been under consideration years ago? Liberal critics misrepresented Taheri's comments as saying that Ahmadinejad had absolutely ordered this new policy, and then they crucified him for false reporting.

http://tiny.cc/taheri

If this proves correct, then everyone then will owe him a big apology. Or... this report could just be wrong too.

Posted by: GDLL at November 23, 2009 04:14 PM (klw4o)

25 Ace=EPIC FAIL

Posted by: YRM at November 23, 2009 04:14 PM (xNw7B)

26 Everyone has to link to the steering wheel desk top story in the sidebar and check out the pictures and comments. F*cking hilarious. Seriously.

Posted by: Dr. Spank at November 23, 2009 04:15 PM (GGgoa)

I was told something three years old was here?

Posted by: Roman Polanski at November 23, 2009 04:15 PM (TpXEI)

28 And Post-Switch!!

Cut. Wrap it.

Posted by: Herr Morgenholz at November 23, 2009 04:16 PM (5aa4z)

Sullenberger, you'll be glad to know, is getting regular sex from his wife -- "rock star sex," he says.

Mrs. Mallamutt and I practice hall sex. We cross each other in the hallway and yell "Fuck You" at each other.

Posted by: Mallamutt at November 23, 2009 04:16 PM (V9SYy)

30 HTML Fail, "continue" reading brings up the original post

Posted by: Jean at November 23, 2009 04:16 PM (vb5IK)

31 29 -- lol!!!!

Posted by: Sassypants at November 23, 2009 04:16 PM (UScFS)

32
Rock Star Sex? I'm gonna send Sully a box of Mars bars.

Posted by: Mick Jagger at November 23, 2009 04:16 PM (+FzLa)

33 What can I say, women are hot for a hero. But what's with sharing your bedroom life with the rest of the world?

Posted by: Girl Thursday at November 23, 2009 04:16 PM (kLg4W)

34 Sully's wife makes him wear a badge to designate him as a sex machine.

Posted by: polynikes at November 23, 2009 04:17 PM (m2CN7)

35 "This is reminiscent of the Holocaust," said Rabbi Marvin Hier, the dean of the Simon Wiesenthal Center in Los Angeles. "Iran is moving closer and closer to the ideology of the Nazis."

I dunno. It all sort of depends on why they're doing it. Iran is a country where religious laws are secular laws. In theory, at least, Muslims are forbidden from doing all sorts of things Christians and Jews are allowed to do. So if the reason they want to know who the Christians are boils down to who gets flogged for eating pork, then at least I can see the rationale.

Posted by: Ace's liver at November 23, 2009 04:17 PM (XIXhw)

36 It is rather ridiculous that sex was brought up at all during the Sully interview. But he's obviously a very happy man.

Posted by: Sassypants at November 23, 2009 04:18 PM (UScFS)

37 Doesn't Rock Star sex include projectile vomiting and at least one overdose?

Posted by: Dr. Spank at November 23, 2009 04:19 PM (GGgoa)

I was told something three years old was here?

Posted by: Roman Polanski at November 23, 2009 04:15 PM (TpXEI)

FTW

+10000 and the internets

Posted by: Blazer at November 23, 2009 04:19 PM (+FzLa)

39 Posted by: Jean at November 23, 2009 04:16 PM (vb5IK)

I think that's intentional.

It's poor sportsmanship to drop your mistakes down the memory hole.

I say that as someone who has wanted to do it on a number of occasions around here.

Posted by: DrewM. at November 23, 2009 04:19 PM (FCWQb)

It's poor sportsmanship to drop your mistakes down the memory hole.

Yea - now, sneaking out in the middle of the night and not leaving cab fare on the nightstand. That is cool.

Posted by: Mallamutt at November 23, 2009 04:25 PM (V9SYy)

41
Rock Star Sex is all fun and games until someone finds theirself in the emergency room at 3 a.m. getting their stomach pumped.

Posted by: Elton John at November 23, 2009 04:26 PM (+FzLa)

42 You need glasses, pal. Sully has a dick the size of an Airbus.

Posted by: Mrs. Sullenberger at November 23, 2009 04:28 PM (AZGON)

43
Damn I got hit by a radioactive meteor and it didn't make my junk any bigger,but it does glow in the dark.

Posted by: bulwark at November 23, 2009 04:28 PM (jvrmc)

44 Rock Star Sex. Isn't that the newest X-Box game all the kids want for Christmas?

Posted by: BackwardsBoy at November 23, 2009 04:28 PM (ZGhSv)

45 Dr. Spank
26 Everyone has to link to the steering wheel desk top story in the sidebar and check out the pictures and comments. F*cking hilarious. Seriously.

I went to that amazon listing. Still laughing. The pictures were great!

Posted by: Hedgehog at November 23, 2009 04:31 PM (oQIfB)

46 Sully's dick is so large it shows up on JFK International's air traffic control. Even when he's in the Holland Tunnel.

Posted by: Mrs. Sullenberger at November 23, 2009 04:31 PM (AZGON)

47
Rock Star Sex. Isn't that the newest X-Box game all the kids want for Christmas?

Is that the one where you tape buttons to your cock and put a snare drum pedal up your ass?

I think I'd be a natural at that.

Posted by: Andrew Sullivan at November 23, 2009 04:32 PM (+FzLa)

48
Rock star sex does not happen with your wife. It happens with every body but your wife.

Posted by: sickinmass at November 23, 2009 04:32 PM (g7J39)

49 The size of a Jart? Weren't those things about a foot long and as big around as a pencil?

Posted by: BackwardsBoy at November 23, 2009 04:33 PM (ZGhSv)

50
Rock star sex does not happen with your wife. It happens with every body but your wife.

Posted by: sickinmass at November 23, 2009 04:32 PM (g7J39)

You got that right.

Posted by: John Edwards at November 23, 2009 04:33 PM (+FzLa)

51 48 - I think Mr. Sassy would beg to differ.

Posted by: Sassypants at November 23, 2009 04:34 PM (UScFS)

52 Even I'm jealous of Sully. Me. Me.

Posted by: Brian Dennehy at November 23, 2009 04:36 PM (AZGON)

53 51 ... anyone having sex with you better have all their shots.

^*ducks*

Posted by: sickinmass at November 23, 2009 04:36 PM (g7J39)

54 53 - perhaps, I misinterpreted you.

Posted by: Sassypants at November 23, 2009 04:37 PM (UScFS)

55 Somewhere in this thread there is a very sick Michael Jackson joke. I'm just too classy to bring it up.

Posted by: Mallamutt at November 23, 2009 04:37 PM (V9SYy)

56 55 - not too classy to bring it up on tonight's ONT?

Posted by: Sassypants at November 23, 2009 04:38 PM (UScFS)

57 I leave my wagyu/golf question on the table.

Posted by: HeatherRadish at November 23, 2009 04:39 PM (NtiET)

58

Rock Star Sex ? Jesus Juice anyone ?

Posted by: Michael Jackson at November 23, 2009 04:41 PM (+FzLa)

59 ...a dick the size of a Jart.

Or as Lynne likes to describe me, flaccid.

Posted by: Dick Cheney's Cock at November 23, 2009 04:43 PM (GF+6V)

60 rock star sex, before coctail hour?

Posted by: willow at November 23, 2009 04:43 PM (1kwr2)

55 - not too classy to bring it up on tonight's ONT?

Not classy enough, however, to suggest it so someone else could bring it up - thanks however to number 58!

Posted by: Mallamutt at November 23, 2009 04:44 PM (V9SYy)

62 What is "rock star sex?"

Booze and coke fueled crying jag after a sloppy attempt at an "Anne Hathaway"?

Posted by: mare at November 23, 2009 04:44 PM (X1fsj)

63 Does this mean that the Eikenberry surrendering to the Taliban story IS true?

Posted by: John Galt at November 23, 2009 04:47 PM (F/4zf)

64 CRAP! Barry's going to hear about this, next thing you know Pelosi and Reid will be creating legislation that Independents, Conservatives, Republicans and Libertarians will have to wear some sort of "badge" on their outer garment.

Posted by: GarandFan at November 23, 2009 04:52 PM (ZQBnQ)

65 "women are hot for a hero"

A lot of women want what other women want. A decent chunk of our economy is based on it.

Posted by: right at November 23, 2009 04:55 PM (EquV1)

66 More retractions?

Reputations are made one post at a time, kid. Have you noticed how often you have to retract your posts because they're just too good to check? Look ... if you want to be taken seriously as a political blog outside the moronosphere, you need to get your shit in one sock.

Otherswise, you have a very funny blog. Love the Anka bit.

Posted by: someguy at November 23, 2009 05:05 PM (VRJIW)

67 Captain "Sully" Sullenberger, you'll be glad to know, is getting regular sex from his wife -- "rock star sex," he says.

Well, that should nicely compliment the sex the stewardesses have been offering him for the past year or so.

Posted by: Y-not at November 23, 2009 05:19 PM (sey23)

68 Posted by: someguy at November 23, 2009 05:05 PM

You know, if you're going to rag on ace, and have it matter to anyone outside of your basement bedroom, you might want to consider mixing it up a bit instead of making the same post each time.

Posted by: some other guy at November 23, 2009 05:22 PM (sey23)

69 Reputations are made one post at a time, kid. Have you noticed how often you have to retract your posts because they're just too good to check? Look ... if you want to be taken seriously as a political blog outside the moronosphere, you need to get your shit in one sock.

Otherswise, you have a very funny blog. Love the Anka bit.

Posted by: someguy at November 23, 2009 05:05 PM (VRJIW)

Your right, this blog sucks big time, please direct me to the much more awesome blog that you own.

Posted by: Blazer at November 23, 2009 05:26 PM (+FzLa)

70 You know who else gets rock star sex?

Keith Richards.

Think about that.

Posted by: AmishDude at November 23, 2009 05:38 PM (T0NGe)

71 I have hiked with the Sullys, and she is so smoking hot it is not funny.

Posted by: mbruce at November 23, 2009 06:03 PM (t/GDA)

72 Dude deserves all the poontang he's getting. He is a straight-up American badass for doing what he did.

And yeah, IIRC from the interviews I remember earlier this year? His wife is quality.

Posted by: Moose4 at November 23, 2009 06:05 PM (a9Sq2)

73 I ain't gonna hate on ya, Ace. You did more than most would in that situation. And by that I mean making the retraction visible without aid of a high-powered microscope.

Posted by: tdpwells at November 23, 2009 06:07 PM (Ei3oZ)

"Or as Lynne likes to describe me, flaccid." - Dimwit

_{(Psssst, hey dimwit, Cheney isn't VP anymore. So what's with the cheap shot?)}

Posted by: Dmnit, I"m VP now. I yam. I yam. I yam. at November 23, 2009 06:23 PM (Cta0m)

75 Ace sure is willing to believe any ol' story about the brown people. Ace rhymes with racist. Coincidence?

Posted by: FUBAR at November 23, 2009 06:24 PM (eRJUD)

76 Ace rhymes with racist, huh? Um, no, dimwit, but fubar rhymes with goober.

Posted by: Fubar is dyslexic at November 23, 2009 06:32 PM (Cta0m)

Damn Sully, you've got to be careful with that kind of information. We should now expect to have scores of pilots dive-bombing their aircraft into flocks of birds all over the country. keep the waterways clear.

In unrelated news, I've just signed-up for pilot training. Which way to the simulator?

Posted by: Max Entropy at November 23, 2009 07:07 PM (uuZjB)

Posted by: china wholesale at November 23, 2009 08:30 PM (z4dwF)

79 You need glasses, pal. Sully has a dick the size of an Airbus.

Posted by: Mrs. Sullenberger at November 23, 2009 04:28 PM (AZGON)

Posted by: Douglass DC3 at November 23, 2009 09:10 PM (q8CmE)

You know who else gets rock star sex?

Keith Richards.

Think about that.

He's been getting that since, what, 1849?

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