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| A Titan Versus a Titan!I don't really have terribly fond memories of the cheesy 1980 mythological monster movie mash-up Clash of the Tians. Except I did like a couple of the monsters. (Medusa with a serpent's body? Turned her from lame to cool.) And so I don't know why, even with all this remake fever, they'd remake this particular movie. But I guess there's some reason the movie still plays on TBS every year. Here's the trailer. Once again we have classier British actors playing the gods (was: Laurence Olivier and Maggie Smith; now: Liam Neeson and Ralph Fiennes). What I don't get is this: I liked the Medusa's blood that turned into the giant scorpions. Good monsterage there. But, still and all, giant scorpions are pretty unimaginative monsters, and aren't particularly unique to Greek mythology. So why does every third cut in this trailer feature them? Yeah, giant scorpions, yay. But I would think they'd want to show us more flashes of more iconic monsters. Why this movie might actually be good: The director is Frenchman Louis Leterrier, who did a bang-up job with The Incredible Hulk. I watched the commentary, and a lot of the stuff he says makes me think he's got a lot on the ball as regards this kind of movie. Stuff like, "Oh, here I didn't want to put the CGI right in your face, I wanted to be subtle about it," or "I let this take go on a while because I hate that chop-chop-chop style of editing." * Those aren't real quotes. They're made-up for-examples. I remember, though, nodding along with him as he described the various choices he made, thinking, "Yeah, man, I hate that crap too. Thanks for not doing it for once!" Thanks to DavidR. * One thing I really appreciated was his use of a practical (not CGI) special effect where anyone else, pretty much, would have just used CGI because it's so cheap and easy. He wanted to show Tim Roth running at 40+ mph. (He'd been given Captain America's super soldier serum.) They set up a line above Roth, then dangled him from that line by another line, then pulled him by another line, this one powered by a motor, at 40 mph as he pretended to run across an open field. Then, yeah, they used CGI to erase all the ropes. It was a subtle thing, and not really this huge eye-catching special effect, in the sense you weren't quite sure you were looking at a special effect. Maybe he went too subtle on that one. Still, it was cool to actually see a guy booking along at a very high speed, and realize, "Hey, I'm not looking at some dopey-looking CGI gollum here, nor obviously-sped-up film, that is really Tim Roth somehow running that fast." I like his impulse to go with the right way to pull something off rather than just going with the easy and cheap way. Dating Advice: Pretty much why everyone comes here. Oblig. offers some:If your date's gone well and you got the lady home, and you're about to seal the deal but you need to drop that lobster-dinner deuce first, excuse yourself quietly, and at the sound of the closing bathroom door, yell "UNLEASH THE KRAKEN!" Always be closing.Oh Dear Lord: This isn't even the remake of the cheesiest movie from this era coming out soon. They're remaking... Piranha. Comments1
What the hell was the Kracken, anyway? Some sort of sea monster, I get it, but what kind?
Posted by: Tommy Gunn at November 11, 2009 01:01 PM (rQTdM) 2
Why this movie might actually be good Umm, no. Nothing good about this movie-why? No Harry Hamlin in a loincloth. Posted by: laceyunderalls at November 11, 2009 01:02 PM (pLTLS) 3
I had the action figures.I shit you not.
Posted by: steevy at November 11, 2009 01:04 PM (XhRMg) 4
If your date's gone well and you got the lady home, and you're about to seal the deal but you need to drop that lobster-dinner deuce first, excuse yourself quietly, and at the sound of the closing bathroom door, yell "UNLEASH THE KRAKEN!"
Always be closing. Posted by: oblig. at November 11, 2009 01:04 PM (/eW6V) 5
Looks good, but I noticed a lack of clockwork owls. Hopefully that will be fixed.
Posted by: kefka at November 11, 2009 01:06 PM (n1uMU) 6
After all nothing says Greek mythology like a clockwork owl.
Posted by: kefka at November 11, 2009 01:06 PM (n1uMU) Posted by: Keith Olbermann at November 11, 2009 01:09 PM (IhQuA) 8
this movie will suck balls...hard. no matter how much cgi that is constantly shoved in my face i will never conceed it to be superior to ACTUAL fx (ray harryhausen[sp?] RIP), just ask yourself this: were the "effects" in the later star wars movies better than the earlier films? i have zero respect for cg and will be happy to see more people wake up and demand real artistry and innovation as it pertains to visual effects, sure it takes longer and requires real skill to pull off that type of effect but the payoff is far more realistic imo, as soon as i see some slick, shiny cgi "effect" i can't help being nostalgic and pine for simpler days, before fat slobs behind keyboards lazily mock up some supar-awesome monster that will "dazzle" everyone with its shininess, give me stop-motion ANYDAY/rant
Posted by: weewilly at November 11, 2009 01:11 PM (iBHcm) 9
Just found your blog on Big Government today and I really like it! Great work.
I have a political blog of my own (rjmoeller.com), but I also do some stuff with the show LOST: http://johnlockespants.blogspot.com/ Anyway, keep up the great work. -RJ Posted by: RJM at November 11, 2009 01:12 PM (pEXyx) 10
CGI? I didn't need no god damned CGI. Lazy sons of bitches. Gonna ruin my damn master piece. I hope that metal owl shits in your mouth.
Posted by: Ray Harryhausen at November 11, 2009 01:13 PM (IhQuA) 11
i liked the original except for the owl from sharper image my fav part was perseus looking at the medusa's reflection in his shield as they stalked each other add some gratuitous nudity and the new flick will be a hit Posted by: Jones at November 11, 2009 01:14 PM (KOkrW) 12
excuse yourself quietly, and at the sound of the closing bathroom door, yell "UNLEASH THE KRAKEN!" Alternatively, drive her out to the middle of nowhere, and tell her you're ready to move the relationship forward right now, or else you'd rather end it right there. AIDA. Attention: Do I have your attention? Interest: Are you interested? I know you are because it's fuck or walk. Posted by: Entropy at November 11, 2009 01:14 PM (IsLT6) Posted by: Elmew Fudd at November 11, 2009 01:15 PM (qP2BK) 14
Ralph Fiennes took Maggie Smith's role? Those crazy Greeks.
Posted by: Strick at November 11, 2009 01:15 PM (93CPh) 15
Hey, you're talking about the greek myth movie with the steampunk mechanical owl? That was a great movie! Posted by: Entropy at November 11, 2009 01:15 PM (IsLT6) 16
I hope in the remake they don't kill my favorite character.I forget his name but he was the commander of the soldiers that went with Perseus.I had the action figure.
Posted by: steevy at November 11, 2009 01:15 PM (XhRMg) 17
I love the original. But I still think this is gonna be badass. Its gonne look double badass on blu ray.
Posted by: lowfibass at November 11, 2009 01:17 PM (T1ZAZ) 18
what's on the slate for 2010, jason and the argonauts with some shiny-boned skeletons with uber-shiny sheilds/swords battling amongst some impeccably-rendered ruins that just happen to reflect everything with there awesome shininess, yeah i hate shiny things!
Posted by: weewilly at November 11, 2009 01:17 PM (iBHcm) 19
What the hell was the Kracken, anyway? Some sort of sea monster, I get it, but what kind? It was a halibut in the original, but I think they'll CGI it as a Chilean sea bass in the remake. Technology is amazing. Of course, if aging lesbians John Cusack or Steven Seagal are involved, "Kraken" will be played by an evil oil company out to rape the pristine swamplands that Calibos calls home. Posted by: VJay at November 11, 2009 01:18 PM (gQ+XA) 20
"Titans. Will. Clash." Oh good god. That's the best tagline they could come up with? That does not fill me with hope.
Posted by: jake at November 11, 2009 01:19 PM (wlSqE) 21
The whole owl thing was there for the toy line, and to give the movie its obligatory "R2-D2."
When Jon Peters was telling Kevin Smith what he wanted in a Superman Returns script, Peters kept insisting that Braniac (then the villain) have some kind of cute alien dog that he kinda hated, but would be "funny" as he drove Braniac nuts. "I need my R2," Peters kept saying. For the Burger King toy promotion. I just saw the incredibly awful GI Joe, and I gotta tell you, they had a really piss-poor script, made poorer by the fact that they were contriving different situations just to slip in additional vehicles. To make the toy line as large as possible. Posted by: ace at November 11, 2009 01:20 PM (jlvw3) 22
I liked the original very much. A couple things I don't like with the trailer though.
Medieval armor on great gods? WTF? The robes are cooler and sexier. The heroine was ridiculously HOT and in an old time way. Her coming out of that bath is seared into my friggin memory. I don't want the updated skiny ass tough heroine, thanks. and they better have the mechanical Owl. Completely wrong but so cool. Posted by: Rocks at November 11, 2009 01:20 PM (Q1lie) 23
i weep when i think r2d2 actually had a real midget(small person?) inside of it once upon a time, if rotj were remade today just think of all the unemployed "small people", cgi is a job-killer!
Posted by: weewilly at November 11, 2009 01:21 PM (iBHcm) 24
Titans... Will... Clash! That alone makes me not want to see the movie. It's called Clash of the Titans. They sure as hell better be clashing, dammit. Posted by: 12thMonkey at November 11, 2009 01:22 PM (fZzaW) 25
jake at November 11, 2009 01:19 PM (wlSqE)
It's a step up from Transformers 2, where the tagline was "Things go boom" Posted by: lorien1973 at November 11, 2009 01:23 PM (IhQuA) 26
What the hell was the Kracken, anyway? A giant octopus/squid type thing with tentacles. The name gets tossed around alot though - sometimes it's like Cthulu and sometimes it's like Charybdis (a sea sarlac). You may know this song, although it hasn't been sung in over a thousand years... It's called.. Awaken, Awaken, Mustakrakish, The Lake Troll! Posted by: Entropy at November 11, 2009 01:23 PM (IsLT6) 27
In one scene (IIRC), they're crossing the arctic for like five seconds in a large vehicle. For no good reason, the large vehicle spits out two smaller one-man vehicles to complete like the last 600 yards of the trip.
For. No. Reason. And the shot was just a traveling shot. Lasted five seconds total. Why the two new vehicles when the first vehicle was perfectly capable of moving an additional 600 yards? Toys. That's kind of the least of that movie's problems but it's still rankling, to see the mercenary nature of the production so shamelessly in-your-face. Posted by: ace at November 11, 2009 01:24 PM (jlvw3) 28
In the original, the "clash" was really anti-climactic. Medusa just mailed it in. Her body wasn't really into the performance.
Posted by: lorien1973 at November 11, 2009 01:24 PM (IhQuA) 29
The heroine was ridiculously HOT and in an old time way. Her coming out of that bath is seared into my friggin memory. The both of us. I remember screaming to my father in the theater that something was wrong with my wee-wee. Ah, to be 18 again. Posted by: VJay at November 11, 2009 01:24 PM (gQ+XA) Posted by: Rocks at November 11, 2009 01:24 PM (Q1lie) 31
1 What the hell was the Kraken, anyway? Some sort of sea monster, I get it, but what kind? A giant octapus-looking monster. I thought the Kraken myths were more Norwegian and Scandi in nature, but they've make their way into several modern "Greek mythology" stuff like Clash of the Titans and God of War. I wonder if Harry Hamlin (the dude who played Perseus in Clash of the Titans) will make a cameo? Posted by: Kratos (on the back of Gaia, scaling Mt Olympus) at November 11, 2009 01:24 PM (9hSKh) 32
It's called Clash of the Titans. They sure as hell better be clashing, dammit. Actually, the original script called for a romantic comedy that included Medusa, the cheesemaker cyclops, the hydra and Chronos playing a 15 minute rendition of London Calling. Posted by: Entropy at November 11, 2009 01:27 PM (IsLT6) 33
Hopefully the chick they get to play Cassopiea will be as hot as the one in the original. There is no denying she was a babe.
Posted by: Little Big Tiny Small Guy at November 11, 2009 01:28 PM (iL+0I) 34
#20. "Titans. Will. Clash." Oh good god. That's the best tagline they could come up with? That does not fill me with hope. There's no damn Titans in either movie, so both the title and the lame tagline for the remake don't make any sense. Now if say Atlas and Perses were attacking each other, then it's more appropriate to say it's a "Clash of the Titans". Lol on Ace bringing up TBS. I remember seeing this movie played a lot on TBS, (but not on, alas, Skinemax), during the 90's, but I always caught the part right before Perseus cut off Medusa's head. Posted by: Kratos (on the back of Gaia, scaling Mt Olympus) at November 11, 2009 01:28 PM (9hSKh) 35
Bubo was also there to show off stop motion technique. It was a cool effect.
Good point on the R2-D2 comparison though. If there is one thing I can't stand these days its the plucky droid saving the hero over and over, and in a sickeningly kid friendly way. Bubo would almost certainly take that role in this movie and it would be annoying. Posted by: kefka at November 11, 2009 01:29 PM (n1uMU) 36
Well I believe they claimed the Kraken and medusa and gorgons were titans. I think they took the position that most of the monsters were "titans" from the old earth.
Posted by: ace at November 11, 2009 01:29 PM (jlvw3) 37
(ray harryhausen[sp?] RIP), Happily, no need for RIP. Ray Harryhausen is still alive. Wiki says he is, and Wiki wouldn't lie. I'm a big Harryhausen/stop-motion fan and just rewatched Clash recently. I still enjoy it, despite its flaws. But this new one looks good, too. It might even get me into a movie theater. (Last film I saw in a theater was Peter Jackson's King Kong, so I'm not what you'd call a regular moviegoer.) Posted by: sauropod at November 11, 2009 01:29 PM (r45p0) 38
I thought the Kraken myths were more Norwegian and Scandi in nature No, they are. Kraken is norse. But people use it as a name for Charybdis. Posted by: Entropy at November 11, 2009 01:29 PM (IsLT6) 39
I like the movie before Clash of the Titans whose name I can't recall right now. Skeleton soldiers rising from the ground was pretty cool.
Posted by: polynikes at November 11, 2009 01:30 PM (m2CN7) 40
20 "Titans. Will. Clash." Oh good god. That's the best tagline they could come up with? That does not fill me with hope Titans.Will. Fluck. Chicken? Posted by: Ben at November 11, 2009 01:31 PM (wuv1c) Posted by: ace at November 11, 2009 01:31 PM (jlvw3) 42
Jason and the Argonauts. yeah that's it.
Posted by: polynikes at November 11, 2009 01:33 PM (m2CN7) 43
Well I believe they claimed the Kraken and medusa and gorgons were titans. I know the cheesemaker cyclops, and I believe the gorgons (and Medusa) were titans. But the kraken (which isn't even greek) and hydras and crap are just monsters. Posted by: Entropy at November 11, 2009 01:33 PM (IsLT6) 44
did y'all catch the gratuitous Sarah Palin reference on NCIS last night? agents knock on door response is shotgun blast thru the door woman opens door holding shotgun agent says "Who do you think you are? Sarah Palin?"
i mean, wtf? Posted by: Jones at November 11, 2009 01:33 PM (KOkrW) 45
I watched the trailer. Someone has played God of War a time or two, methinks. The original one was worth watching because it was the swan-song of Ray Harryhausen -- this CGI stuff will just be lame compared to the great stop-motion stuff of the immortal Ray.
Posted by: Monty at November 11, 2009 01:33 PM (4Pleu) 46
The Kraken was already released...last November.
Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at November 11, 2009 01:34 PM (P33XN) Posted by: kefka at November 11, 2009 01:34 PM (n1uMU) 48
yeah apparently harryhausen is still alive, i just assumed he was dead, he's friggin 89! wow! polynikes that was "jason and the argonauts", btw the new king kong flick sucked when compared to the 1933(?) original which incorporated very innovative special effects.
Posted by: weewilly at November 11, 2009 01:36 PM (iBHcm) Posted by: toby928 at November 11, 2009 01:36 PM (PD1tk) 50
27 The movie is based on a toy line.Still it was better in when the tie in was a comic book series(and a pretty lame cartoon,so lame me and my 10 year old friends made fun of it but wayched anyway).I remember seeing the comic GIJOE #1 my friend brought in to school.I managed to get it in trade and that Christmas was heavy on GIJOE as I recall.
Posted by: steevy at November 11, 2009 01:37 PM (XhRMg) 51
The "Titan versus a Titan" thing was using the head of one titan (medusa) to turn to stone another titan (the kraken).
Yeah, the kraken doesn't belong here, but you guys are really overthinking "strict fidelity to shit that never, ever happened in the first place." They also tossed in a bunch of things that Perseus didn't do, that other heroes did. I forget what was Perseus and what was others. Did Perseus have the pegasus, for example? I don't think he did; I think that was someone else. Posted by: ace at November 11, 2009 01:37 PM (jlvw3) 52
I agree concerning the giant scropians. I think under agednaked boys would be more true to greek history and mythology.
Posted by: Ben at November 11, 2009 01:37 PM (wuv1c) 53
49 Yeah that had the Harpies and the skeleton soldiers.They sell a DVD set of classic Harryhausen movies.
Posted by: steevy at November 11, 2009 01:38 PM (XhRMg) 54
"Titans. Will. Clash." Oh good god. That's the best tagline they could come up with? That does not fill me with hope.
Posted by: jake at November 11, 2009 01:19 PM (wlSqE) That's exactly what my husband said to me about the trailer last night. Posted by: Mandy P. at November 11, 2009 01:39 PM (MK6Kx) 55
In my movie Obama plays the role of Icarus. Posted by: Ben at November 11, 2009 01:39 PM (wuv1c) 56
51 The thing is way off on the mythology.I used to date a girl who knew her mythology and she shredded that movie.I thought it was fun anyway and I knew fuck all about Greek mythology at 8 or 9.
Posted by: steevy at November 11, 2009 01:40 PM (XhRMg) 57
They also tossed in a bunch of things that Perseus didn't do, that other heroes did. I forget what was Perseus and what was others. Did Perseus have the pegasus, for example? I don't think he did; I think that was someone else. Posted by: ace at November 11, 2009 01:37 PM (jlvw3) I think Perseus had the flying shoes. Posted by: Mandy P. at November 11, 2009 01:40 PM (MK6Kx) 58
Pegasus aided the hero Bellerophon in his fight against both the Chimera and the Amazons
but perseus did slay the medusa Posted by: Jones at November 11, 2009 01:40 PM (KOkrW) 59
I like the Sinbad movies better than Jason and the Argonauts, but I have that in my collection as well. Saw all those in the theatres when I was a youngin. I still think they rock.
Posted by: lowfibass at November 11, 2009 01:41 PM (T1ZAZ) Posted by: Jones at November 11, 2009 01:41 PM (KOkrW) 61
Yeah, the kraken doesn't belong here, but you guys are really overthinking "strict fidelity to shit that never, ever happened in the first place." YES IT DID! I believe in Homerian Creationism. Posted by: Entropy at November 11, 2009 01:42 PM (IsLT6) 62
59 Sinbad was Muslim terrorist.
Posted by: steevy at November 11, 2009 01:42 PM (XhRMg) 63
yeah I know he capped the medusa. But other parts of it were from other hero's stories.
I knew this stuff a lot better when I was a kid. Posted by: ace at November 11, 2009 01:42 PM (jlvw3) 64
#51 Consulting with the unerring Wikipedia yields that Bellerophon used Pegasus to help him slay Chimera. Posted by: Kratos (on the back of Gaia, scaling Mt Olympus) at November 11, 2009 01:42 PM (9hSKh) 65
Pelosi, Michelle, Hillary = Gorgan sisters?
Posted by: Ben at November 11, 2009 01:42 PM (wuv1c) 66
The annoying thing about the movies/toy line nonsense is that they are marketing the toys to children too young to see the actual movies. Well, if their parents respect the ratings at all that is. I can't tell you the number of pissed off second graders I've encountered who were mad about seeing endless commercials for toys for movies they can't actually see--so why the heck would they ask for the toy? My son and his friends are very savvy young consumers.
Posted by: ParanoidGirlInSeattle at November 11, 2009 01:43 PM (RZ8pf) 67
46 The Kraken was already released...last November.
Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at November 11, 2009 01:34 PM (P33XN) So then it's safe to assume Pelosi stood before Medusa at some point? Posted by: laceyunderalls at November 11, 2009 01:43 PM (pLTLS) 68
Yeah, the kraken doesn't belong here, but you guys are really overthinking "strict fidelity to shit that never, ever happened in the first place." YES IT DID! I believe in Homerian Creationism. I take off all the mythical holidays from work. Posted by: Ben at November 11, 2009 01:43 PM (wuv1c) Posted by: Entropy at November 11, 2009 01:44 PM (IsLT6) Posted by: lowfibass at November 11, 2009 01:44 PM (T1ZAZ) 71
Or, if God of War is actually the correct version, I was given Pegasus by Gaia to help me enlist the aid of Typhoon and to get to the Island of Creation.
Posted by: Kratos (on the back of Gaia, scaling Mt Olympus) at November 11, 2009 01:44 PM (9hSKh) 72
66 Well the old movie was a softish PG.Some violence and a chick in sheer outfits.
Posted by: steevy at November 11, 2009 01:44 PM (XhRMg) 73
I knew this stuff a lot better when I was a kid. Posted by: ace at November 11, 2009 01:42 PM (jlvw3) That's because if you know it as an adult you fail at life. Just sayin'. Posted by: laceyunderalls at November 11, 2009 01:45 PM (pLTLS) 74
#67 So then it's safe to assume Pelosi stood before Medusa at some point? Yep, Medusa's gaze cannot turn to stone that which is already stone. Posted by: Kratos (on the back of Gaia, scaling Mt Olympus) at November 11, 2009 01:45 PM (9hSKh) 75
Well I believe they claimed the Kraken and medusa and gorgons were titans. I know the cheesemaker cyclops, and I believe the gorgons (and Medusa) were titans. But the kraken (which isn't even greek) and hydras and crap are just monsters.
Posted by: Entropy at November 11, 2009 01:33 PM (IsLT6) Actually, the Titans were the precursors to the Greek Gods. They were essentially their parents. The Greek Gods overthrew them because they main titan king was eating his own children. Zeus managed to escape being eaten by his father because of intervention by his mother. Then he helped the other Gods escape his father's stomach and they had a big battle. The titans lost and were banished to the lowest level of the underworld, which is similar to our version of Hell. The titans as portrayed in this movie are not the real titans. They're just the different monsters in Greek mythology. Posted by: Mandy P. at November 11, 2009 01:45 PM (MK6Kx) 76
And yes, I'm a total goober for knowing all that.
Posted by: Mandy P. at November 11, 2009 01:46 PM (MK6Kx) 77
I look forward to the day when movie studios acknowledge the changing demographics of their ticket buying public and remake these classics with a cast entirely comprised of morbidly obese actors. Maybe throw in a couple of retards.
Posted by: Ted Kennedy's Gristle Encased Head at November 11, 2009 01:46 PM (+lsX1) 78
If looking at Medusa gives you an erection lasting more than 4 eternities please consult Asclepius.
Posted by: Ben at November 11, 2009 01:46 PM (wuv1c) 79
70 Yeah the witches scared me.I had the comic adaption too.I always used to get the comic adaptions of those movies.I still have BSG(the original bought on Ebay but I had it as a kid)and Blae Runner.
Posted by: steevy at November 11, 2009 01:46 PM (XhRMg) 80
76 Did we used to go out?
Posted by: steevy at November 11, 2009 01:48 PM (XhRMg) 81
I look forward to the day when movie studios acknowledge the changing demographics of their ticket buying public and remake these classics with a cast entirely comprised of morbidly obese actors. Maybe throw in a couple of retards.
Jason and the Forklift? Posted by: Ben at November 11, 2009 01:48 PM (wuv1c) 82
#75 God of War 2 cutscenes (Birth of Zeus and the Great War)!
Posted by: Kratos (on the back of Gaia, scaling Mt Olympus) at November 11, 2009 01:49 PM (9hSKh) 83
Did we used to go out?
Posted by: steevy at November 11, 2009 01:48 PM (XhRMg) Not likely. I'm a stay-at-home-mom. So when I'm not chasing my kid around or cleaning my house, I watch a lot of the History Channel. Posted by: Mandy P. at November 11, 2009 01:49 PM (MK6Kx) 84
Titans. Will. Clash.
Seriously? 'Cause in a movie called Clash of the Titans, that would totally blow my mind. Posted by: Monty at November 11, 2009 01:50 PM (4Pleu) 85
I also liked Piranha.
Posted by: steevy at November 11, 2009 01:51 PM (XhRMg) 86
Actually, the Titans were the precursors to the Greek Gods. They were essentially their parents. Yes, I know that. The cheesemaker cyclops (and all cyclops) from the Oddessy were titans. Or the other children of titans (besides the Olympian gods). I don't recall if the cyclops was in that movie or not. They all kinda blur. I like the old version of the Oddesy (or was it the Iliad?) the most. Posted by: Entropy at November 11, 2009 01:51 PM (IsLT6) 87
Titans. Will. Clash.
Seriously? 'Cause in a movie called Clash of the Titans, that would totally blow my mind. I think since it is the Pax Obama, the tag line should be , "Titans. Will. Negotiate." Posted by: Ben at November 11, 2009 01:52 PM (wuv1c) 88
83 Well it was like 10 years ago.
Posted by: steevy at November 11, 2009 01:52 PM (XhRMg) 89
Titans. Will. Clash! Titan 1: Dude, what the hell are you wearing? Posted by: reason at November 11, 2009 01:52 PM (5npD/) 90
88 83 Well it was like 10 years ago. don't probe any further, one of her kids might end up being yours Posted by: Ben at November 11, 2009 01:54 PM (wuv1c) 91
I like the old version of the Oddesy (or was it the Iliad?) the most.
Sigh. Buncha damned philistines in this thread! Iliad: Achilles/Siege of Troy. Odyssey: Odysseus trying to get back home after the fall of Troy. Neither story, BTW, bears much resemblance to the modern mythological mash-ups made of them. (Or maybe the Fagles translations left out the part where Odysseus fights off the animated skeletons while being menaced by giant scorpions while ogres threw boulders at him.) Posted by: Monty at November 11, 2009 01:55 PM (4Pleu) 92
The Greek Gods overthrew them because they main titan king was eating his own children. That would be Chronos (father time). Chronos himself overthrew his own father Uranus (the sky) who was keeping his own children imprisoned inside his wife (Gaia, the earth). The cyclops were also the children of Uranus and Gaia, siblings to Chronos and uncles to Zeus. Posted by: Entropy at November 11, 2009 01:55 PM (IsLT6) 93
I don't recall if the cyclops was in that movie or not. They all kinda blur. I like the old version of the Oddesy (or was it the Iliad?) the most.
Posted by: Entropy at November 11, 2009 01:51 PM (IsLT6) I think it was the Oddessy. The Iliad was mostly about the Trojan war. Not nearly as much in the way of the Gods and monsters and such. I know Medusa wasn't a titan, though. She was originally a virgin priestess to Athena (I think). Zeus basically raped her but Athena still took it as a personal affront and punished Medusa for it instead of blaming Zeus. Which turned her into a gorgon. Jesus, I'm a dork. Posted by: Mandy P. at November 11, 2009 01:55 PM (MK6Kx) Posted by: Palin Steele (Comic book expert) at November 11, 2009 01:56 PM (V9SYy) 95
Iliad: Achilles/Siege of Troy. Were they actually 2 seperate movies? Or did they even do both? I don't think I saw the Iliad. I know what Homer's stories are yes, but don't assume I'm assuming the movie version got any of it right. Cuz I'm not. Posted by: Entropy at November 11, 2009 01:56 PM (IsLT6) 96
#93 I know Medusa wasn't a titan, though. She was originally a virgin priestess to Athena (I think). Zeus basically raped her but Athena still took it as a personal affront and punished Medusa for it instead of blaming Zeus. Which turned her into a gorgon. Zeus was a horndog, but wasn't it Poseidon that raped Medusa in the majority of the references? Posted by: Kratos (on the back of Gaia, scaling Mt Olympus) at November 11, 2009 01:58 PM (9hSKh) 97
I LOVED the original, this YARM looks great.
I also love the Voyage of Sinbad battling skeletons and giant scorpions some things never get old my son loves them too Posted by: ginaswo/MiM at November 11, 2009 01:59 PM (qvtkZ) 98
don't probe any further, one of her kids might end up being yours
Posted by: Ben at November 11, 2009 01:54 PM (wuv1c) If that's the case then that's some super long-lasting sperm! My son is only two and I'm currently pregnant with number two. Been with my hubby for the last ten years, too. Plus, he's been my only partner ever, so unless I absorbed some of that super sperm via osmosis then I'm gonna have to stay with my answer of "not likely". Although I guess since we've learned this week you can get PTSD from osmosis, anything's possible, right? Posted by: Mandy P. at November 11, 2009 01:59 PM (MK6Kx) 99
90 That's what she said!!
Posted by: Michael Scott at November 11, 2009 01:59 PM (XhRMg) Posted by: Entropy at November 11, 2009 02:00 PM (IsLT6) Posted by: ginaswo/MiM at November 11, 2009 02:00 PM (qvtkZ) Posted by: reason at November 11, 2009 02:01 PM (5npD/) 103
Zeus was a horndog, but wasn't it Poseidon that raped Medusa in the majority of the references?
Posted by: Kratos (on the back of Gaia, scaling Mt Olympus) at November 11, 2009 01:58 PM (9hSKh) Yeah, you're right. It was Poseidon. It's hard to remember who seduced/raped who in Greek mythology. They were all so bad about it. Posted by: Mandy P. at November 11, 2009 02:01 PM (MK6Kx) 104
I'd like to think I have super sperm.I really would.
Posted by: steevy at November 11, 2009 02:01 PM (XhRMg) 105
But the only remake you’ll be lining up to watch next year is Piranha*. That remake will star Ving Rhames, Christopher Lloyd, Eli Roth, Elisabeth Shue, Dina Meyer and Paul Scheer. Oh, and Richard Dreyfus. Piranha? Sounds more like Night of the Living Dead Acting Careers. I would still hit Shue though, hard. Posted by: Rocks at November 11, 2009 02:03 PM (Q1lie) 106
#103 Yeah, you're right. It was Poseidon. It's hard to remember who seduced/raped who in Greek mythology. They were all so bad about it. Indeed. I'm hoping Poseidon is a boss in GoW3. I know Hades is. Posted by: Kratos (on the back of Gaia, scaling Mt Olympus) at November 11, 2009 02:06 PM (9hSKh) 107
105 Dina Meyer is totally hot.Love the redheads...
Posted by: steevy at November 11, 2009 02:06 PM (XhRMg) 108
I'd like to think I have super sperm.I really would.
[STEEVY enters the Hall of Justice. BATMAN and SUPERMAN look up and notice the new-comer.] BATMAN (sotto voce): Who's the new guy? SUPERMAN (shrugs): New recruit. We need all the help we can get against the Legion of Doom. BATMAN: Yeah, but...well, he doesn't have a costume or wings or lightning bolts or any shit like that. He's not even armed. He's just, you know, some guy. WTF? SUPERMAN: You should see his sperm! BATMAN: (Edges away from Superman.) Posted by: Monty at November 11, 2009 02:07 PM (4Pleu) 109
my fave is athena the toothache birth Athena's name was originally called Pallas. Pallas Athenae, Pallas of Athens. Posted by: Entropy at November 11, 2009 02:08 PM (IsLT6) 110
Holy commentary, Batman! Cheesy? The orignal was great! First time I ever saw boobies and ass - and what a set they were! *Sigh* Judie Bowker.
It actually is pretty dramatic when Perseus is racing against time at the end to save her. Posted by: JohnW at November 11, 2009 02:13 PM (aNQWz) 111
I just liked the steampunk owl.
Posted by: Entropy at November 11, 2009 02:14 PM (IsLT6) 112
In 1980 I was 16 and a pathetic nerd, so I almost certainly saw it, and it had that hawt english chick as the love interest, so...Oh, yeah, NOW I remember.
Posted by: joncelli at November 11, 2009 02:15 PM (RD7QR) 113
I liked the original as well. This looks like it my be pretty good but the trailer didn't show who the obligatory babe was.
Please let it not be a totally hot babe that they have to keep covered up because she has a mess-o-ugly tats. Posted by: Vic at November 11, 2009 02:17 PM (CDUiN) 114
63 yeah I know he capped the medusa. But other parts of it were from other hero's stories.
I knew this stuff a lot better when I was a kid. Posted by: ace at November 11, 2009 01:42 PM (jlvw3) Well, then you had to know it for Dungeons and Dragons cred. Posted by: JohnW at November 11, 2009 02:18 PM (aNQWz) 115
The heroine was ridiculously HOT and in an old time way. Her coming out of that bath is seared into my friggin memory. The both of us. I remember screaming to my father in the theater that something was wrong with my wee-wee.
It's okay son. There was something wrong with mine too. Posted by: dad at November 11, 2009 02:21 PM (JKGfQ) 116
114 The cool thing about D&D was it borrowed from every mythology for source material.
Posted by: steevy at November 11, 2009 02:21 PM (XhRMg) 117
Well, plus Deities and Demigods had all teh hot naked chicks in it.
Posted by: JohnW at November 11, 2009 02:23 PM (aNQWz) 118
Was the second Hulk film worth seeing?I tried to watch the Ang Lee "Brokeback Hulk"and couldn't get through it.
Posted by: steevy at November 11, 2009 02:24 PM (XhRMg) 119
They need to remake Conan the Barbarian, but this time staring Shia LeBouff.
Posted by: Entropy at November 11, 2009 02:26 PM (IsLT6) Posted by: Cahrsle Jhonsno at November 11, 2009 02:28 PM (eR37w) 121
The cool thing about D&D was it borrowed from every mythology for source material.
Oh, that was the cool thing. I always thought it was the rejection and ridicule of your peers, all-male bonding time and fantasy creation of a heroic alter-ego to replace the crushing scorn of reality. Posted by: Ted Kennedy's Gristle Encased Head at November 11, 2009 02:29 PM (+lsX1) 122
119 As much as I like Millius that was not his best work.He screwed up the Conan mythology,Conan was never anyones slave.Plus what was with the friggin blondish hair?Everyone know's Conan had raven black hair was there no dye??
Posted by: steevy at November 11, 2009 02:31 PM (XhRMg) 123
121 Well,there was some of that...
Posted by: steevy at November 11, 2009 02:31 PM (XhRMg) 124
I have an important question for Mr. Monty. Does Batman, in your fanfic up there, actually say the letters Whiskey Tango Foxtrot, or does he say the words which you have chosen to paraphrase / sanitize with the aconym? Posted by: reason at November 11, 2009 02:32 PM (5npD/) 125
"Pirahna" made trips to pet stores that much more exciting--glad I've only seen it as a kid.
DON'T BANG ON THE GLASS!! As far a CGI goes, I like getting surprised that it was used, instead of grumbling about how fake it looks. That happened when I saw the "making of" clips from "Castaway", when he looked over the cliff, the shore/ocean is all CGI green screen. Nifty! Posted by: Johnny I at November 11, 2009 02:33 PM (XYBSD) 126
If Monty makes Batman say "double-u tee eff?" I'm going to mail him envelopes full of baking soda.
Posted by: Entropy at November 11, 2009 02:34 PM (IsLT6) 127
108 I would need wonder Woman or Power Girl(Supergirl?) to help me use my powers...
Posted by: steevy at November 11, 2009 02:35 PM (XhRMg) 128
>>>Was the second Hulk film worth seeing?I tried to watch the Ang Lee "Brokeback Hulk"and couldn't get through it.
Yes, it was completely different and simply better on every conceivable level. I don't even like The Hulk. But it was fun and smart throughout. I did a review, somewhere. Posted by: ace at November 11, 2009 02:37 PM (jlvw3) 129
128 Hulk was never one of my favorites either.
Posted by: steevy at November 11, 2009 02:38 PM (XhRMg) Posted by: JohnW at November 11, 2009 02:40 PM (aNQWz) 131
Blegh. Why is Hollywood just remaking old movies and recycling old storylines and scripts? Where are the original movies?
Posted by: chemjeff at November 11, 2009 02:40 PM (PhN4p) 132
119
They need to remake Conan the Barbarian, but this time staring Shia LeBouff.
Please dont give Hollywood any ideas. Posted by: brak at November 11, 2009 02:42 PM (fpGgc) 133
Alexa Davalos plays Andromeda in this one.
Posted by: Charlie Gibson at November 11, 2009 02:42 PM (/vN7m) 134
I remember the Piranha in the movie were created by the US Government for use in Vietnam.To take away the use of the Mekong Delta.Somebody stumbles onto the old facility and turns a valve emptying the holding tank into the river.I bet the remake will be A.Evil corporation develops them for ??? and profit B.Government to use in WoT how?? C.AGW or Climate change causes Gaia to strike back at humanity with deadly fish D.All of the above
Posted by: steevy at November 11, 2009 02:44 PM (XhRMg) 135
\sockpuppet
Posted by: theBman at November 11, 2009 02:44 PM (/vN7m) 136
Entropy - A big box 'o cat crap.
Posted by: reason at November 11, 2009 02:47 PM (F26eZ) 137
steevy - I though Gaia already wrought her vengeance upon us in Day After Tomorrow and Deep Impact.
Posted by: reason at November 11, 2009 02:50 PM (F26eZ) 138
137 Yeah and that movie by Shamalama where the plants make us commit suicide.It's been done but you can never have too many apocolyptic events happen to evil humanity.
Posted by: steevy at November 11, 2009 02:56 PM (XhRMg) 139
The trailer's kind of typical, but that music really needs to go.
Posted by: BeckoningChasm at November 11, 2009 03:13 PM (eNxMU) 140
The trailer's kind of typical, but that music really needs to go.
Posted by: BeckoningChasm
Agreed. It sucked balls. Titan balls. Posted by: Iskandar at November 11, 2009 03:41 PM (u1pln) 141
Ah...movies...Greek mythology...nerds...
I should hang out more. Hated the original because of its lack of fidelity, cute owl and--nobody's mentioned this--the fact that the Kraken, the Big Freakin' Finale Big Boss Monster, was a freakin' guy in a freakin' rubber suit. Where's your stop-motion now, scarecrow? Posted by: moviegique at November 11, 2009 04:32 PM (1y5Vr) 142
Mmmm Alexa was freakin hot in Chronicles of Riddick.
Posted by: lowfibass at November 11, 2009 04:33 PM (T1ZAZ) 143
Also, Pirahna was a satirical take on Jaws, scripted by Indie-before-it-was-cool John Sayles and Joe "Gremlines" Dante.
It was remade in the '90s as part of the "Roger Corman Presents" series on Showtime, with William "Greatest American Hero" Katt. For myself, I can't watch Dante since his leftwing diatribe on "Masters of Horror". Posted by: moviegique at November 11, 2009 04:34 PM (1y5Vr) 144
And here I thought this thread would veer in McNair territory at some point. Oh wait... Posted by: keninnorcal at November 11, 2009 04:42 PM (SDc54) 145
But, still and all, giant scorpions are pretty unimaginative monsters, and aren't particularly unique to Greek mythology. Have we become so jaded that giant scorpions don't thrill us anymore?
Posted by: Ken at November 11, 2009 04:53 PM (Bs34i) 146
LEAVE THE OWL ALONE! He was the best damn character in the whole show!
Seriously how cool would it be to have a mechanical owl... Posted by: Entropy at November 11, 2009 05:32 PM (cok/k) 147
Giant scorpions are great, nothing like saying "in trouble now" like a hostile arthropod the size of a compact car. But if they want to impress me I'd like to see them top the lamia-style Medusa created by Harryhausen. And stop bad-mouthing the owl, he had more persona and acting ability than Surfer Perseus.
So, the the dedicated remake squad finally got around to Pirahna, huh? No surprise, they've re-made just about everything else right now. The movie will still suck in cheap CG the same way it sucked with cheap models the first time around. Posted by: exdem13 at November 11, 2009 07:16 PM (lYKj1) 148
I'm one of the few that actually liked the first Hulk movie.
Posted by: KG at November 11, 2009 07:34 PM (S8TF5) 149
LIAM NEESON, people!!! That might just be enough for me to actually go to the movie.
Sigh....... Lurve him. Posted by: experience smeperience at November 11, 2009 08:05 PM (Qh9s8) 150
Age of Conan CD Key Burberry scarf: http://www.scarves-store.com Posted by: jason at November 11, 2009 09:48 PM (i1eiU) 151
Yeah that had the Harpies and the skeleton soldiers.They sell a DVD set of classic Harryhausen movies. Own it, along with "Clash" and "Golden Voyage of Sinbad." Ray rules. His version of the Kracken looked an awful lot like his alien from "20 Million Miles to Earth." Posted by: barbelle at November 11, 2009 11:32 PM (qF8q3) Posted by: Entropy at November 11, 2009 11:44 PM (cok/k) Posted by: Entropy at November 11, 2009 11:44 PM (cok/k) Posted by: barbelle at November 12, 2009 12:21 AM (qF8q3) 155
add some gratuitous nudity and the new flick will be a hit
Posted by: Jones at November 11, 2009 01:14 PM (KOkrW) Could be mixing it up with another Greek mythology movie, but as I recall, the first one was PG, but actually had a very brief female nude scene. I remember because I was in grade school at the time, and this was therefore the the most awesome thing I had ever seen in my sad lonely life. Posted by: RINO in Name Only at November 12, 2009 01:27 AM (HUdxK) 156
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