1 First.......to vommit!

2 CNN just compared this to the Anna Nicole situation.

3   Whoa... it's really time for Rupert to give this douche the punt.

4 Egads, Shepard Smith is a douchebag.

He deserves to be strapped to a rocket and shot into the Sun.

5 You don't get a much more stable condition than DEAD, now do ya?

6 Tapping ...

Yep, the "Give-A-Shit-O-Meter" is busted.

Move on.

7 It's a story. You note it. You do a quick retrospective. You interview some friends. And then you move on.

So who died and made ace "The Almighty News Producer and Director Man"

8

I'm still dead!

I liked Dubai better..............

9 OK Shep, you got your point across no give it up and turn it off.

10 It was time to move on about two hours ago.

11 Now Bill O'really! is giving up his time for more information about this child molester's death? Shouldn't Shep be on MSNBC?

12

Michael Jackson Dead -- cosmetic surgeons and losers hardest hit

13 i don't think it's his call. He's being told to do it.

He's playing the videos, most likely, because there's nothing to report -- a dead man makes no further statements or has any further controversies -- and he's just filling time, as ordered.

Apparently the interest in this is high enough that the internet slowed to a crawl, so they figure as long as MJ is on, even if it's just Billy Jean being played for the bazilionth time, they're attracting some of that non-news audience.

i get that to some extent. But it's time to stop. Do a report and retrospective, if you must, once every half hour for five minutes, but playing Michael Jackson's videos? Almost in full? This goes too far.

14 Smith is a clown, but it could very well also be his producer calling the shots on this...just sayin'...

15 Deathcare.  Cap & Destroy. Deathcare.  Cap & Destroy
Deathcare.  Cap & Destroy
Deathcare.  Cap & Destroy
Deathcare.  Cap & Destroy
Deathcare.  Cap & Destroy
Deathcare.  Cap & Destroy
Deathcare.  Cap & Destroy
Deathcare.  Cap & Destroy
Deathcare.  Cap & Destroy
Deathcare.  Cap & Destroy
Deathcare.  Cap & Destroy

.

16 Maybe Shep will implode.  One can only hope.

17 When does the Reverend Al make his statement, I must record it for prosperity. I didn't miss it did I?

18 so move on already

19   IN OTHER NEWS, what's the first bill hussein obama threatens to veto?  Why, a defense appropriations bill, of course.  We can spend trillions on handouts to deadbeats, but we don't need F-22s in the newer, safer obamaland.

http://tinyurl.com/nam5rf

20  So, young boys are ever so slightly safer tonight. Yay!

21 let's start a petition to fire shep.  that'll teach em to leave morons like us unattended without oreilly and hannity.

22 This story is no longer breaking and, for obvious reasons, not likely to take a sudden dramatic turn.

Sure, ace, no way this story could suddenly shift.

23 Boy's pants still half-off....

24 I didn't know Sheppard was such a Michael Jackson fan.  I guess I should have.

He went to Ole Miss, though.  You'd think that would be worth something.  I suppose not.  He and Rachel Maddow could have a show together over on MSNBC or something.

25 Pass the Jesus juice.

26 The Jooos won't let me talk to Michael Jackson!

27 Get some melted butter just in case he turns vengeful.
Lobster Zombie Jackson

28 God help us.

29

Um, Ace, I lubz you n all, but haven't you just enabled the disabled by posting another thread about MJ? Just sayin.

30 By now Michael Jackson is toast anyways

31 As far as I can tell, MJ has so overloaded Twitter, that tweets are 1 hour delayed...revenge of the blogs!

32 Do you think he had his nose on when the paramedics arrived? I hate being caught without makeup, let alone my nose. Fox should be talking about the evils of the CAP & TRADE scam the House is voting on tomorrow!!!! What a lucky break for the Dems that Jacko kicked it tonight. BO's luck is unbelievable, the slimy illegal bastard.

33 Hey, we have some ideas for the funeral.

34 Elvis is still alive though.

35 Vindication.

102 He committed suicide:

According to various sources, Michael Jackson was reported dead at 2:35 PST this afternoon after he went into cardiac arrest after consuming more than two dozen sleeping pills. He was 50 years old.

Posted by: Anti-Harkonnen Freedom Fighter at June 25, 2009 05:17 PM (5r0Tz)

36
26 The Jooos won't let me talk to Michael Jackson!

Freaking hilarious.  You never let me down, morons.

37 Okay as 'they' say it always happens in threes.....
 So we now have Jackson, Fawcett, and McMahon......and Jeff Goldblum.
 So, obviously we need two more.
 Any ideas?

38 Not to change subjects, but is it me or does the Bruno guy, Sascha Baron Cohn, look like a femme Iggy Pop?

-

and Michael Jackson's "Scream" video - LUN - is a masterpiece, in the sense that Janet looks about as good as she's ever looked, in videos not shot in black-and-white.

39
Is it sad day?

I need to know.

40 Good news for Mark Sanford.

Bad news for the Iranian reformists.

Next!

41

I hope god didn't send Cherubs to collect michael jackson's soul. ...

42 Uri Geller, TV psychic - now that's a guy i want to hear comment.

Fox sucks worse than a drunken Soto

43 Yeah. Michael Jackson was the best dad I ever had!

44 When does the Reverend Al make his statement, I must record it for prosperity. I didn't miss it did I?

Yes, you did miss it. He already made a long statement on camera. Nobody beats the Rev Al to the camera--nobody.

45 I'm thinking that shep smith has been looking a little under the weather lately...or is that just wishful thinking? Because he and a Kennedy would be stellar.....

46

Yeah....let's get back to chattin' about meaningful shit...like Obama....and Newt....and Hillary. .

47 Great.  Now we're going to be treated to pictures of perimenopausal women holding candles and wailing.

48

Meanwhile, cardcheck and cap'n trade are rolling merrily along.  Although I guess I shouldn't complain too much.  Anyone distracted by MJ probably has no idea what those are, and would probably be on the wrong side of the issue anyway.

49

Great.  With the news consisting of pointless and unwatchable coverage of Michael Jackson's death, all that's going to be left on late night TV is infomercials and... more infomercials.

And it'll probably be worse tomorrow, when it'll still be MJ on the news, and infomercials selling MJ memorabilia. 

He's dead.  We get it.  And for most of us, we don't care all that much.  Move on already.

50
Not for anything, but it's tragedies like this (wink wink) that really bring out the funny at AoS on the main page and in the comments.

51 this Uri guys sounds completely fucking insane.  Fox is really sopping up warm piss with this interview.

52 The attorney reveals that her "heart goes out" to Jackson's fans, whose lives, we are informed, largely turned on what music Michael Jackson was making.

Woah.  First Jackson and then his attorney?  Damn, Michael was jinxed.

53

Yes. My plan to kill Michael Jackson worked perfectly.

54 He would never give me his hand. Yet now, somehow, I miss him so.

55
Will I get all this praise and attention when I die?

56 [bears repeating...]   420 From "Oxfordgirl", a source of information on Iran....

I can't believe Jacko death overstretching twitter. Alarmed that we might not be able to organise in a V imp week. #iranelection #iran #gr88

Priorities ladies and gentlemen..
Posted by: DrewM. at June 25, 2009 06:37 PM (iTt2X)

57 I do not think he changed music at all.

58

Here in Los Angeles, traffic is tied up around UCLA medical center. So, other people with heart attacks will just have to wait while the cretin fans come to stare at a building where a pedophile pop star died.

Anyone remember when a woman with heart trouble was moved from her room in that Santa Barbara hospital during his trial because MJ needed the room to get over his case of anxiety

People's lives at risk today because of traffic tie ups to a hospital and Twitter overloading with "wows I'm so sad !11!!"  tweets blocking out "men with hatchets coming in house, good bye"

59 Now, if only a bunch of other celebrities can die and distract the bitter clingers while we pass cap and tax along with socialized medicine, I get to ride the porcelain unicorn.

Sweeeet.

60 LOL they're interviewing Uri Gellar about MJ on Shep. Uri Freaking Gellar. James Randi is probably proud.

A Farrah too? On the heels the first recorded incident of one of the original broadcast networks of our century willingly becoming a propaganda organ of the President?

And North Korea is claiming it's going to nuke the US next week while Iran burns?

And the US government is threatening to nuke the economy on Friday and take over the health care system?

May you live in interesting times.
- Ancient Chinese curse

61 I simply could not care less about Michael Jackson.
I cared in the early 80s when he was a musically talented, young, charismatic black man.

But I was young too so I have that as a defense.

My thoughts and prayers are with... the Iranian people.

62 Speaking of ace's update re: Lisa Marie Presley,

Michael and Lisa's kiss was ranked as the third on the "All Time Worst Kisses"

1.  Al and Tipper Gore's Kiss at the Convention
2.  Judas Kisses Jesus
3.  Lisa Marie Presley Jackson and Michael Presley Jackson's Kiss
4.  Madonnna Kisses Britney
5.  Sammy Davis Jr. Kisses Archie Bunker

63 The one I really pity is Farrah Fawcett. Life took a major dump on her and it was obvious she was hoping for some notoriety when she died. Instead she became page two news.

64 I will ban the next person who is not sad.  

65

the only thing more heartbreaking than fox news, is watching mtv's coverage. when speaking about his past, the only phrase they used is "legal troubles"

 

the man raped children and i don't mean a guy accused of touching a kid at a mall, or an uncle who inappropriately held a kid. I am talking about a guy who turned his house into a kiddie theme park, had it filled with toys, stuffed animals, and a hidden bedroom within his own bedroom that had a kids sized bed in it. The house fridge was always stocked with jesus juice, and the last kid he touched was suffering from cancer. Honestly the saddest thing about his death today is the fact he did die 20 years ago.

i don't know if i should feel bad for his kids or feel good for them.  sure they lost their father, but on the upside they probably aren't getting touched anymore

66

Speaking of annoying douchebags, Cohen aka Bruno, I think I saw his bare ass on the cover of GQ while I was in Giant Eagle.

There's another guy who could suffer from cardiac arrest.

 

67 21 let's start a petition to fire shep.  that'll teach em to leave morons like us unattended without oreilly and hannity.

Posted by: Anti-Harkonnen Freedom Fighter at June 25, 2009 07:11 PM (5r0Tz)

I personally would feel better about a petition to set Shep on fire. We could use some of that Firestarter hairgel MJ used back in the day. The only problem is then we run the risk of having him look like a Pink Floyd album cover character.

68

I'm thinking that shep smith has been looking a little under the weather lately...

Hope for the change

 

69 fox has become unwatchable.

i'd rather see a Hillary-Soto lesbian porn scene.

70 58

Here in Los Angeles, traffic is tied up around UCLA medical center. So, other people with heart attacks will just have to wait while the cretin fans come to stare at a building where a pedophile pop star died.

If a member of my family died in the ambulance because they couldn't get to the hospital because of the MJ fans, you can be damned sure my family member would have many, many slaves in the afterlife.

I'd cut through them in numbers worthy of a Conan novel.

71 Old SNL video of Norm McDonald riffin' on MJ. Norm never passed up an opportunity to bag on Jacko.


Please post one.

72 67 21 let's start a petition to fire shep.  that'll teach em to leave morons like us unattended without oreilly and hannity.

Posted by: Anti-Harkonnen Freedom Fighter at June 25, 2009 07:11 PM (5r0Tz)

I personally would feel better about a petition to set Shep on fire. We could use some of that Firestarter hairgel MJ used back in the day. The only problem is then we run the risk of having him look like a Pink Floyd album cover character.

Posted by: Bill H at June 25, 2009 07:28 PM (q8CmE)

oh man, that really cracked me up.

73

please die shep.

74 This woman on Fox actually compared this to the Kennedy assassination.  Are you shitting me?

75 Cyn @ 29,

This is a story about media fecklessness.

76 Forget to change socks.

77

i'd rather see a Hillary-Soto lesbian porn scene.

The Mental Picture!!!! AAAAAARRRRGGGG. Must.Get.Ice.Pick.Now.

78 I'm as upset at his suicide as I was at Hunter S. Thompson's - not at all.

Another boil removed off the ass of humanity.

Fuck 'em.

79

He never could say goodbye

http://tinyurl.com/b5ldc6

80 Ought to be an award given out for the most insipid coverage.  Like the continuing shot of the hospital parking lot from a helicopter.  GET OVER IT!  Move on!

81 "The attorney reveals that her "heart goes out" to Jackson's fans, whose lives, we are informed, largely turned on what music Michael Jackson was making."

Wow, I feel a whole lot better about my life

82

didn't die   type o

 

83

breaking news....my neighbors dog threw up today.

84 50
Not for anything, but it's tragedies like this (wink wink) that really bring out the funny at AoS on the main page and in the comments.

Posted by: Unicle tweets at June 25, 2009 07:22 PM (e46Cb)

Well, we 're the sort to not let a good tragedy go to waste.

85 Now Julie Banderas is having a orgasm about the guy.  Wait... pause for mental image..... I be in my bunk

86
the only thing more heartbreaking than fox news, is watching mtv's coverage. when speaking about his past, the only phrase they used is "legal troubles"

When Edward Kennedy dies they'll refer to his killing of Mary Jo as 'Ted's car trouble'.

87

Shep, on Fox, sounds like he lost his sleeping-bag BFF from the CubScouts.
But seriously folks, Michael is dead! If this isn't a scream in the night to adopt
gummint-run health-care,RIGHT NOW, I sure as hell don't know what is.
If Acorn, Jesse and Sharp Al have their way, the King of Pop will lie in
state in the Capitol rotunda.......protocol be damned.....and we'll swiftly
pass the pending health care bill.....for Teddy...for Michael......fo' Harriett
Tubman....fo' Rodney King.....fo'......................

 

 

 

 

 

 

88 Shep is now doing the moon walk while sobbing/screaming like a pre-teen girl.  It's very entertaining.  I hope they show it again on re-runs.

89 Mercy

90 the most overblown fuckin pap ive ever witnessed. HE WAS A FUCKIN CHILD MOLESTOR GODAMNIT.

91 "Buckwheat has been shot!
for those just tuning in, lets go to the videotape"

92 They say celebs die in threes... in the spirit of AOSHQ tastelessness, anyone want to start a death pool?

After all, that's the fate Barry has in mind for us with Obastardcare.

I'd like to nominate Shemp Smith, but he's too young and apparently healthy.

I nominate Henry Waxman. In a fit of wishful thinking.

93 Nancy Pelosi was seen running from the Jackson residence screaming 'PALAMINO'...

94 Well, on the bright side, i think this episode of Fox oversaturation re MJ hack guests and coverage has created an indisputable consensus:

Shep is a worthless piece of shit who should set himself on fire, pronto.

Or head to MSNBC.

Whichever comes first.

95 I don't know whether to be static or ludicris

96 Did someone die?

97 al sharpton is sad. i hope youre all happy. racists bastards.

98 the world is a little less strange place tonight.

99 92

my money's on Obey or Waters.  They did exchange blows today.

100 I just heard David Hasselhoff died of an alcohol-induced brain cloud.  Evidently, he was walking up a staircase ahead of Gary Coleman when fell backwards on Coleman, breaking Coleman's neck and killing him, too.

101
It's a sad day.

Right?

102 Michael is dead? I've been waitin' ta have a talk with him

103 People of Iran,

We are here for you. Michael Jackson has died. Please send donations in lieu of flowers to any of the news organizations working 'round the clock to bring you coverage of this event.

Thank you and you're welcome.

104 97 al sharpton is sad. i hope youre all happy. racists bastards.

damned skippy I'm happy. Fuck, someone revive MJ, so we can kill him some more.

105 "fox has become unwatchable.

i'd rather see a Hillary-Soto lesbian porn scene.

Posted by: Anti-Harkonnen Freedom Fighter at June 25, 2009 07:29 PM (5r0Tz)"

You've been banned.

106 Shep just let out a really loud sob, maybe scream and began vomiting on top of his desk.

107 #92

Ed, Farrah and Jacko.

We have the trifecta.

108

BREAKING: Buckwheat is dead, yes, Buckwheat is dead.

109 Michael Jackson jokes about him sleeping with other peoples molesting children are now for the ages.

110 is it just me that wants to blind shep smith with a hot fire poker and then put paper cuts in the corners of his piehole?

111 This whole thing jump-starts a vomit. I was over it an hour ago. Please end.

112 108

BREAKING: Buckwheat is dead, yes, Buckwheat is dead.

Wookin pah nub?

Unce, Tice, Fee tines a mady?

113

This is a story about media fecklessness.

I do get that. I think I'm just feckled-out.

Is it too early for the ONT with talk of the right cheeses to go with Triscuit crackers, Bacon, boobies, man junk and ladybits on statues, sammiches, and upcoming discounts at Victoria's Secret?

114
SEVEN 'Breakings' from Ace?!  Uhhh, is there something we should know, oh Hairy One?  You weren't in the Navy, were ya?






i keed!  love the navy, they have a great band

115 Olbermann only wishes he could throw a dig at the republicans.

116 I nominate Henry Waxman. In a fit of wishful thinking.

Posted by: George Orwell at June 25, 2009 07:34 PM (AZGON)

George, I'll see your Waxman, and raise you Maxine Waters and Bernie Sanders.

117 105 "fox has become unwatchable.

i'd rather see a Hillary-Soto lesbian porn scene.

Posted by: Anti-Harkonnen Freedom Fighter at June 25, 2009 07:29 PM (5r0Tz)"

You've been banned.

Posted by: Troll Busters Puking Simultaneously de Blog at June 25, 2009 07:36 PM (1Bods)

cmon man its a useful image - if every democratic senator was forced to think Soto and sex at teh same time, she'd get voted down for sure.

i mean, that is one frigid bitch.  Hillary is like a sex pussycat comparatively speaking.

118 As I said in Cairo, it's very sad when entertainers succumb to the robust debate of heart failure.

119 Very happy, thanks for asking!

120

My brother and I were Beatles fans, but when John Lennon was killed and there was wall to wall Lennon songs, my brother just said "what'll they do when Ringo dies and they have to play the same 3 songs all day"

 

121 BREAKING: I CEASE TO FUCKING CARE

122 Please compare the time, footage, and emotion spent upon this dead child molester, and the same expenditures upon Neda Soltani in Iran.

One fucked up, sickass country. We're gonna get what we deserve. Alexis de Tocqueville is shaking his head in the afterlife.

123 Now with Jackson self-deading, Byrd and Kennedy are really gonna need their Obamacare, and go on life support for another week. No way those egomaniacs don't want front page when they go.

Meanwhile, with the passing of Farrah, some last remnant of my adolescence faded. Sigh.

124 Seriously, I bet the guy committed suicide. Heart attack? hmm...

125 this just in from msnbc, sanford, cheney and palin provided oxy to michael.

126 BREAKING: Shep Smith now interviewing former FoxNews anchorbabe Arthel Neville. She reveals she had his posters on his wall when a little girl. She reports "shivers" on her body as she realized he was dead.

Well, I have a pearl necklace she can have on her body instead???

breeaking - Shep refers to an "RF Sewer", gets he's not supposed to talk about his cumdumpster mouth.

127 125 this just in from msnbc, sanford, cheney and palin provided oxy to michael.

Cheney you magnificent bastard!

128

I'm still dead!

.....Not much happening here.

129
Is it a sad day?

I feel like my heart should be going out to something or someone. Shep, tell me what to do?

130 Breaking: Shep told to go get his fucking shinebox. More later.

131 122 Please compare the time, footage, and emotion spent upon this dead child molester, and the same expenditures upon Neda Soltani in Iran.

One fucked up, sickass country. We're gonna get what we deserve. Alexis de Tocqueville is shaking his head in the afterlife.

Posted by: George Orwell at June 25, 2009 07:40 PM (AZGON)

Threadwinner, sadly.

132
Michael Jackson Dead -- Politician-Philanderers Everywhere Relieved

133 What is the exit question?

134 #116
I'll see your Waters and Sanders, and raise you Bawney Fwank and Nancy Lugosi.

I mean, come on. Nancy just has to be charged with embalming fluid, judging from her looks. Every time I see her face, I expect her mask to crack, fall, and see Dr. Phibes underneath.

135 like i said, ill be outback burnin the tire pile. come on back when youre sick of this shit. i got a little tennessee white liquor left. it make s the colors purty.

136 You will be sad!
You will think of nothing else!

137 Breaking news: General Francisco Franco is still dead.

138 I was stationed at Fort Knox when Elvis died. All my friends had tickets to the upcoming Louisville concert. Every radio station in KY played "Kentucky Rain" 24/7 for a week. It's only memorable to me because that's when I got my SGTs stripes.

Michael Jackson we put up with because it was wall to wall on MTV and the kid liked him. And there was some stuff you could dance to. But outside of being a freak show, he hasn't done anything worthwhile in decades.

But hat's off for Farrah. Now there was an angel.

139

Michael's outfits looks like they were made by a ex us soldier who was kicked out of the military for violating don't ask don't tell

140
True fact: Michael Jackson saved Darfur Tibet.

141 I'm here.
What did I miss?

142

Is there a difference between MJ worship and  Obama worship?. Compare and contrast the messaniac tendendicies and problematic histories of each.

 

143 Well, this'll fill the otherwise-empty news cycle. Nothing important being voted on tomorrow, right?

144

is it just me that wants to blind shep smith with a hot fire poker and then put paper cuts in the corners of his piehole?

I just laughed so hard that I peed a little. Pure Hilarity!

And no, you're not the only one who wants to revert Shep to a small boy, roll back time a few years, and then introduce him to Michael.

145 woooooohooooo!!! cap and trade! i luvs a dry fuckin.

146 138

yea i feel really bad for farrah - mj is stealing her media.

147

This just in... Michael Jackson is still dead.  We will continue to bring you updates as they occur.

148 At least Shep isn't talking about Farrah's anus anymore...

Wrong time for a revolution in Iran, eh?

149 I really hope this isn;t goint to turn into some Diana-esque grief session with a people bawling all over the bloody tv and laying a mountain a flowers and teddy bears as they seek "closure"

150 Close the investigations.

151 I've heard numerous times that Hollywood gets scared shitless when someone important dies. Its that whole:

"They always die in 3's"

Sure as shit

Ed McMahon

Farah Fawcett

Michael Jackson

152

I thought I would pee on myself when that asswipe Shep was interviewing Yuri Freakin' Geller, and trying to make him say what kind of stuff he was trying to get Michael to not do that wasn't good. Then when Geller said he did "Unethical Hypnosis" on Jackson, and asked him if he molested that kid, and MJ told him NO! He was completely satisfied beyond a reasonable doubt. Yup, me too, Yuri.

And then this has been compared to Kennedy, Princess Di, John Lennon, Elvis, James Dean and Marilyn. Is that the end of the roll call of the dead too soon stars?

 I am thinking about sending nasty notes to Shep. Telling him his panty shield is showing, eyeliner is smudged, you know, passive/aggresive stuff.

Forget about that Crap and Tax bullshite. No RedEye and  F and F is coming on early at 5 am to do a "retrospective" of Jackson's life.

153 elton is composing a smarmy lament as we speak.

154 24/7 MJ songs, and after a few days I'll be sick of them for life

155 Olby just came on the set with Shep.  They are in an embrace, sobing and crying in each other's chest.  Oh God, they are moon walking together, holding hands, tears streaming down.......

156 I mean, come on. Nancy just has to be charged with embalming fluid, judging from her looks. Every time I see her face, I expect her mask to crack, fall, and see Dr. Phibes underneath.

Posted by: George Orwell at June 25, 2009 07:44 PM (AZGON)

Dude, you've forced me into this. I did not want to do this. I'll see your SanFran Nan and Bawney, and raise you a lesbian 3-way with Janet Reno, Hillary!, and that old hag in the White House press pool. Michelle the Gorgon can referee.

157 MJ RIP- Good career move, anyway.

Shep will get a Pulitzer for this, mark my words.

158 I keep waiting for Breaking News: Michael Jackson has risen from the dead to perform "Thriller" for his fans. Ushers in Zombie Apocalypse. More at 11.

159
elton is composing a smarmy lament as we speak.

hahaha, let me guess...

something to do with a candle...

and wind?

160 I got it when Dale Earnhardt died. We drove to Kannapolis and placed some flowers in his memory. He was a hero.

But Michael Jackson abused children. So I'm lost on this one.

161

Fox news showing the reportedly last pic of MJ as posted over at ETonline.

Now, is this the last pic alive, or perhaps more accurately, the FRIST pic dead??!!

162 Hey mother fuckers! Im the only black guy that matters!

You know, Health care for all! Cap and save or create!

Fuck these motherfuckers!

Damnit, someone get me a fuckin response ready for TOTUS. This guy is much more important than that warmonger Long that was shot recruiting 5 year olds into this war of choice.

Fuckers

163 The news "coverage" is pretty fukkin' pathetic. They have no shame. My country has become the home of Braindead and the land of the pop addled. Sickening.

164 NBA Draft coverage is remarkably Michael Jackson-free.

165

Posted by: TendStl at June 25, 2009 07:49 PM (wNN6d)

Hell, that just means everyone in Hollyweird can breathe easier (at least, easier than MJ) for a few months.

166 Paul Rodriguez once said "food and Michael Jackson, that's what Ethiopians are talking about"

167 I want to see gay marriage legalized only to witness the spectacle of Shemp Smith tying the knot with Anderson Crouper. For the ceremony, Anderson will be dressed in vintage Gloria Vanderbilt denim and a Chanel sun hat, and Shemp will be dressed as Michael Jackson from the Pepsi wolfman video.

The reception orgy will last seven days and cost 1.5 trillion dollars, creating or saving dozens of catering jobs.

168 i got a little tennessee white liquor left.

I'm having two fingers' of Jack Daniels Green Label whiskey.

My index finger and little finger.

But two fingers, nonetheless.

169

Will any of those crackerjack reporters ever notice that the kids Michael Jackson supposedly fathered are white, and he's....you know....black?

Maybe they just assume that after all the surgery and skin bleaching his sperm aquired caucasian DNA in some sort of sympathetic reaction.

 

170 It wasn't MJ, it was that damned monkey that couldn't stop messing with me

171 142

Is there a difference between MJ worship and  Obama worship?. Compare and contrast the messaniac tendendicies and problematic histories of each.

Michael Jackson had:

1. a job

2. talent

Prez for Life Hussein:

1. never held a real job

2. can read a teleprompter

As for their fan base, well, I certainly can understand why people were followed Jackson. He was a very talented entertainer. Those that follow Obama, well, I don't know what they see in him.

In other words, MJ did have something credible to worship.

172 Was he a little bit country  or a little bit rock and roll?

173 113  LOL 

124   Suicide angle sure makes sense.

2   Oh Lord, I wonder if the reporting is going to go on as long as the Anna Nicole Smith thing too then?   Well, thanks for doing the ugly work of watching CNN so we don't have to.

174 i swear this shit makes me wanna go lonenutish.

175 169

Will any of those crackerjack reporters ever notice that the kids Michael Jackson supposedly fathered are white, and he's....you know....black?

Maybe they just assume that after all the surgery and skin bleaching his sperm aquired caucasian DNA in some sort of sympathetic reaction.

 

Posted by: AP idea stylist at June 25, 2009 07:53 PM (ecZmv)

now there's some funny shit.

176 just kiddin homeland secirity guy

177 Maybe they just assume that after all the surgery and skin bleaching his sperm aquired caucasian DNA in some sort of sympathetic reaction.

Well maybe Lamarck was right.

178 Even I couldn't get him out of that first child molestation accusation. The kid identified a freckle "down there" and we wrote a $20 million check.

179 #41   Coke on the keyboard.  Thanks for the belly laugh.

180 168
 i got a little tennessee white liquor left.

I'm having two fingers' of Jack Daniels Green Label whiskey.

My index finger and little finger.

But two fingers, nonetheless.

Boozeless in ATL here...sigh

181
BREAKING -- Talking heads on news outlets declare: Sad Day

182 Two popular old white women died today.   What a shame.

_{I know I'm gonna fucking destroyed over this comment......}

183 At the top of his game, MJ was top talent.  He just couldn't keep himself in this world for extended periods past 1984(ish).

Now--Farrah's legacy lives on in that poster.  For those too young to remember it--that was the original bunk moment.  Literally.

P.S.:  My newscast in hell has Shep as anchor with a commentary by Fred Barnes.  The lead-in is a 200-hour episode of "The View."

P.P.S.:  My newcast in heaven has the talking poster of Farrah Fawcett as anchor with commentary by Eric Sevareid.  The lead-in is a 200-hour episode of "Hogan's Heroes." 

184 If everything comes in threes: 1. Ed McMahon 2. Farrah Fawcett 3. Michael Jackson 1. Jeff Goldblum 2. ? 3. ?

185 Breaking News: Al Gore commends Michael on his effort to reduce his personal carbon footprint.

If you this the coverage of his death is going to get ugly - just wait until the circus that surrounds settling his estate.

The low-lifes are going to be coming out of the woodwork.

Will Howard Stern (the lawyer) claim to be the real father of Michael's children?
Where's Zsa Zsa's husband, BTW?

186

Shep gives German Shepherds a bad name.

Partial bad name.

187 He peaked my curiosity, if you know what I mean ...

188 heh, the twitter top trending topics right now are:

1) Farrah Fawcett
2) RIP MJ
and...
3) Jeff Goldblum

Internet rumors are pretty awesome.

(BTW, they rank those in order, right?)

189

Maybe they just assume that after all the surgery and skin bleaching his sperm aquired caucasian DNA in some sort of sympathetic reaction.

 Posted by: AP idea stylist at June 25, 2009 07:53 PM (ecZmv

We stand behind the Clorox brand as we have for the last 75 years.

190 174 i swear this shit makes me wanna go lonenutish.   you'll need a footlocker for all the ammo, and the key to get out on the roof   good hunting!

191

Dear Mr. Coldwarrior at 174, we are not amused by your contemplations of going "lonenutish". Please grab your toothbrush and answer the knock at your door in 3....2.....1....

192 In hindsight, turning off Fox News the day they hired Geraldo is looking pretty damn smart right about now.

193 I be sad. Michael's dead and he never fixed my mortgage or paid for my gas.

194 184: Jeff Goldblum, too? It's the apocalypse!

1. Jeff Goldblum  2. Lindsey Lohan  3. George Lucas

195 Wasn't Fox the news channel that always called Jackson "Jacko" and ran a lot of "tsk tsk!" commentary about how weird he was?

Hypocrisy knows no shame.

196

Now Geraldo is bumping Hannity for this bugger!

Will the orgy never end?!?!?

197 uhhh

It seems as though two celebrity deaths just isn’t enough for some members of the public. Mischievous types have begun spreading the rumour that actor Jeff Goldblum fell to his death from a mountain in New Zealand. Well, don’t start mourning The Fly just yet - actor Kevin Spacey insists that rumours of Jeff’s death have been greatly exaggerated.

Kevin Spacey on Twitter says:

And if you can’t trust Kevin Spacey, who can you trust?

198 A very cool Stevie Wonder story.

Yeah, he's an Obama guy. Do. Not. Care. He rocks and he did a great thing for a dying kid.

199 why did gov sanford kill him?

200

 Breaking: Boy Scout's sphincters everywhere unclench in relief at the news.

201 Can we Cap and Trade Shep?

202 BTW, does Fox have the phone lines open for requests?

203

I'm still dead!

You know, there isn't a lot to do here.....

 There's nothing even on TV. All the news is carrying the same stupid story.

 

204 if you are bored. they have that great dmitri martin special on, not the shitty tv show, but the special that is freaking hilarious. check it out

205 Now Geraldo is bumping Hannity for this bugger!

I'd hit it.

206

they had to take shep off the air because.....

BREAKING NEWS: SHEP SMITH DIES OF SADNESS.

 

207 Goldblum story a hoax -

the story was autogenerated from a site called "Fakeawish . Com"

Fake a Wish is a site that lets you generate fake celebrity death stories that look real(ish).  The "Falling 60' off a cliff" is one of the scenarios they have.

.

.

208 Goodbye Michael J
Though I never blew you at all
You had the grace to hold yourself
While those around you crawled
They crawled out of their cribs
And they whispered into your pants
They set you on the rollercoaster
And they made you change your noseAnd it seems to me you lived your life
Like a candle in the wind
Never knowing who to cling to
When the rain set in
And I would have liked to have known you
But I wasn't just a kid
Your candle burned out long before
Your legend ever did

209 hot searches going on now, updated every 5 min... www.alexa.com/hoturls and Jeff Goldblum has got to rising right up there on IMDB too

210

BREAKING: Michael Jackson's 1201 page will leaked out to press ... they should be going over it with a fine-toothed comb and reporting on it very soon ... I understand we're ALL in it:

 

http://tinyurl.com/nfwp8v

211 If you are having a heart attack, have been in a car crash, or have been shot please use another emergency room in Southern California which hasn't been shut down due to financial stress. We have very important matters to attend to here.

212 It's the Rapture!!

213 #110 - Cold Warrior - don't forget the lemon juice.

214

MJ will be writing a book posthumorously (sic) called The Atrocity of Homo

ghostwritten by either Bill Ayers or BHO. He'll make more money dead than

alive. 

215 207 - Damn!

I was going for the trifecta, too.

216 im numb. just numb. of course ive had a little blow.

217 wow.

i'd forgotten how truly awful Geraldo is.

Doesnt he have something to fucking do with himself during the week?

do they keep him in a sealed container at Fox studios with a sign on it:
"Break glass only in case of celebrity death"????

218

You were 130,001.

So sorry, Michael.

219

Ok, so tell me ... WHY hasn't Jeff Goldblum come out in public in front of the TV cameras to dispute his death? Huh? We're just supposed to take Hugo-lovin' Kevin Spacehead's word for it?

 

No way, Josie ...

220 President Obama has ordered a national holiday for tomorrow.  He will conduct a 24 hour non-stop press conference to discuss how water-boarding, global warming and lack of federal healthcare caused this great tragety. 

221 Yeah, 1.5 weeks is about the limit of our attention span now. Sorry, Iran. Has-been celebrity deaths and rumors of celebrity deaths are much more important. Look, Paris Hilton!

222 The 52 - they deserve what they get get.

Us 48 - not so much.

Another round of Glenlivet & muscle relaxants!

223 Get me out of here. I only took this gig because I was in hiding because I owed Brian Dennehy 20 G's.

224 Why is no one on this smart military blog following www.troopathon.org?  It's a much better use of time and attention than Michael Jackson.  He'll still be dead tomorrow...

225 "Young man"? I think Jerry Rivers just fought off calling MJ "boy"

226 This just in:

Michael Jackson is setting the standard for the new ObamaCare!

If you are handicapped or debilitated in any way, take the freakin' handful of pills and STFU.

Its for the Children!!!1!!

227 218

You were 130,001.

So sorry, Michael.

Posted by: jehovah Witnesses at June 25, 2009 08:06 PM (0aQsc)

--I thought it was 144,000, not 130,000.

228 Will Jackson be interred with honors in the NAMBLA national cemetary? Will he get a prominent place in the front foyar of their museum for children?

229 I died a long time ago, and the damned news doesn't seem to care...

230 228 Will Jackson be interred with honors in the NAMBLA national cemetary? Will he get a prominent place in the front foyar of their museum for children?

Posted by: maddogg at June 25, 2009 08:08 PM (RL5Dn)

oh man...that one got me too...NAMBLA #1 all time member for sure.

231 Right, Cable TV operations should eschew ratings and cover Global Warming Bill.  What Capitalists you all are.

232 If everything comes in threes: 1. Ed McMahon 2. Farrah Fawcett 3. Michael Jackson 1. Jeff Goldblum 2. ? 3. ?

Its a hoax, hes not dead.

233

Now I'm glad I do not get Fox News. :-(

(Damn sockpuppet!)

234

You were 130,001.

So sorry, Michael.

Posted by: jehovah Witnesses at June 25, 2009 08:06 PM (0aQsc)

--I thought it was 144,000, not 130,000.

Posted by: Bubbles. Just Bubbles.

 

Damn Obama recession!

235 Where do I get a refund for my London concert tickets?

236 What me? What about ny tits?

237 ok you morons, im out. i gotta go shoot those fuckin possums been dumpin my trash. later.

238
I'm kinda used to the idea of Jeff Goldblum being dead.

239

In Michael's memory, I'm reposting this from another thread

Triumph the insult comic dog at the MJ trial.

240

217 AHHF

geraldo is the black angel of death....i'm never letting that douchebag near me.

241 Well one person who doesn't mind this is Sanford

242 What Capitalists you all are.

Don't worry your pointy little head - that capitalism shit all ends tomorrow.

243

I fed him some bacon. He has color back in his cheeks.

His nose grew back, too.

244 Dammit, I asked for my diamond earrings back the other day and hadn't gotten them yet!

245 Well! I guess Michael Jackson won't be "gettin' jiggy wit' it" anymore!

LOL!

246 Has anybody heard? Is Ann Couric dead? Or Katie Curry? I wonder who the third one will be.

247 This little bag is kinda like my old oxygen tent.  Just sayin'.

248

I messed with all of you.

Make up your own story and numbers.

 

249

Here's why I think it's 144,000:

And I beheld: and lo a Lamb stood upon mount Sion, and with him an hundred forty-four thousand, having his name and the name of his Father written on their foreheads.  And I heard a voice from heaven, as the noise of many waters and as the voice of great thunder. And the voice which I heard was as the voice of harpers, harping on their harps.  And they sung as it were a new canticle, before the throne and before the four living creatures and the ancients: and no man could say the canticle, but those hundred forty-four thousand who were purchased from the earth.

I think the JVs get it from here (Revelation 14: 1-3).

250

Michael who?

251 Now they can glue his nose on with super glue

252

Arrah, Michael, we hardly knew ye! This is so sad. The world is saddened. I'm  sad. You are sad. We are all  sad. It's a sad day. We need a day of national rememberance. June what-ever-this is, the day we were all sad. I mean Neda's death was sort of sad. This day from now on will be Sad Day. Because you know, we are all  fucking sad. June Fucking Sad Day.

253

Chad Ocho Cinco on Twitter just compared MJ's death to 9/11.

Disgusting

254

Local station was playing nonstop Michael, now playing other songs..

hmmm... listeners calling and saying enough?

255 There's Hillary-Sotomayer lesbian porn out there????? !

Where?

256 Did you know that vegetarianism makes you live longer?  Uh, without the drugs?

257
To repeat: Transformers 2 sucked. If you've seen it and liked it, please let me know 'cuz I want the pleasure of publically calling you a immature nincompoop with awful taste in movies.

That is all.

258 I'm kinda used to the idea of Jeff Goldblum being dead.

As I was frantically changing channels trying to find some station not babbling about this 'story', I chanced to overhear some hot but brain-dead bimbo celebretard 'reporter' droning on about how she hasn't even had a chance to 'process' Farrah Fawcett's death, and now this.

The agony of 'processing' the death of someone you in all likelihood hadn't even thought about in years. Fuck me.

259 By the way, the JVs back in the 30's or 40's had to do a lot of spinnin' when their numbers surpassed 144K.

260 oh FUCK! harvey wientraub has died.

261 By 'you' I mean the celebretard reporter, not Unicle tweets.

262
The Q, at least he remembers 9/11. I was afraid everyone had forgotten.

263 So ... what did Michael Jackson, David Caradine, Ed McMahon, and Farrah Faucett Majors have to do with each other?

Was a birth certificate involved?

Was a suspicious lebgth of rope found at each scene?

264 Chad Ocho Cinco on Twitter just compared MJ's death to 9/11.

Is he any relation to Chad Johnson, the screaming fucking pass dropping pussy that plays for the Bengals?

265 236 What me? What about ny tits?

Posted by: Farah Fawcett

 

OK, Janet ... Knock that shit off ... This ain't YOUR moment you know.

266

For fuck's sake (sorry but I need it here) the pizza place I order from is playing Michael Jackson songs when it puts you on hold.

267 249 Man, I won't follow any religion that makes me do math.

268 Techno songs like to report deaths about living stars and world leaders too.

There was a popular techno song called "Michael Jackson is in Heaven now" a long time ago around the time of another called "Helmut Kohl (sp?) is Tot" which I guess means dead.

Kinda wonder if any new songs will dispute that location given the private life allegations.

269 Twohundredfortyfour (244) comments at 8:13 pm and you're telling me you don't care a shitt about Jackson.  ???

270 You know they'll screw up the autopsy.  And there will be some question about where the body really is.

Oh, and how can we be sure it's really Michael Jackson.  He committed suicide or he was murdered. 

Drama, drama, drama.

271 257
To repeat: Transformers 2 sucked. If you've seen it and liked it, please let me know 'cuz I want the pleasure of publically calling you a immature nincompoop with awful taste in movies.

That is all.

Posted by: Unicle tweets at June 25, 2009 08:17 PM (e46Cb)

--Thanks for the review.  You shoulda listened to me; I would have saved you the $$$!

272 uncle tweets. did they mention obama by name in transformers two?

273

You humans confuse me.

Where's my beer? I invented it, but I still need a beer run.

274 Logprof:

That is what Jehovah's Waitlist is for.

275 Shepard Smith gives douche bags a bad name!

276 Breaking - Shep Smith is worthless cocksucker and his time slots should be boycotted to get this fucking moron off the air.  I HATE that asshole.

277 32 ...Fox should be talking about the evils of the CAP & TRADE scam the House is voting on tomorrow!!!! What a lucky break for the Dems that Jacko kicked it tonight. BO's luck is unbelievable, the slimy illegal bastard.

Posted by: crowtoe

Heh, heh, heh, luck had nuttin' to do wit it.  Rememba the Illinois daily numba the day after Metro was elected?

278
Did you review it, logprof? I musta missed it. It's cool, though, it was a bootleg copy.

F-You Jack Valenti!!!

Oh wait. Is Jack Valenti dead?

279 Michael Jackson, David Caradine, Ed McMahon, and Farrah Faucett Majors

Dude, you're going to mess up the 'celebrities die in threes' fuckwitted numerologists' brains.

280 who would you rather do, tot mom casey anthony or susan smith in her prime? im leaning toward susan.

281 Breaking: Boy Scout's sphincters everywhere unclench in relief at the news.

Hey, even as an 11 yr old Tenderfoot, I could still have broken him in half if he touched me

282 268 Techno songs like to report deaths about living stars and world leaders too.

There was a popular techno song called "Michael Jackson is in Heaven now" a long time ago around the time of another called "Helmut Kohl (sp?) is Tot" which I guess means dead.

Kinda wonder if any new songs will dispute that location given the private life allegations.

Posted by: sis at June 25, 2009 08:20 PM (hm0CN)

--sis, I recall a particularly annoying one from my college days with the refrain "James Brown . . . is dead!"

283

I don't think you guys are fully grasping the affect Jackson's death will have on the economy. The payoffchildrape Fund is going to suffer as its biggest contributor is now dead. Also family lawyers, defense lawyers, and creepy people who follow celebrity trials will be out of work or without anything to fill their time. 

The company that makes only right handed bedazzled gloves will be out of business by tomorrow.

This is being reported because of the massive impact it will have on this country. Damnit! Now Barack is going to have to create or save even more jobs to prevent a total collapse of california.

284
did they mention obama by name in transformers two?

Um, well, I don't know because I couldn't watch more than 15 minutes of it.

Okay, so my 'review' isn't really reliable. You'll have to trust my instincts -- the movie sucks.

285 No, it's 244 comments about the state of our people when you've got news coverage 24/7 of a washed up pop star pedophile's death, with each trying to say something dramatically more over the top than the others, like comparing this to 9/11

286 I question the timing.

287 We are together again.

288 278
Did you review it, logprof? I musta missed it. It's cool, though, it was a bootleg copy.

F-You Jack Valenti!!!

Oh wait. Is Jack Valenti dead?

Posted by: Unicle tweets at June 25, 2009 08:22 PM (e46Cb)

--High-five for not sending any royalties Megan Fox's way.  Loopy fucking c**t.

289

Um, this really isn't sarcasm or a sockpuppet but you know, but in reality MJ was like the beatles in popularity, this is as big as if not bigger then Lennon getting killed.

He is one of the world's biggest freaks but the man really was an icon.  This is big news and should get serious air time.

290 Do you all realize what a nightmare it will be if there ever is a major 'man-made disaster' at the Oscars?

CNN, Fox, MSNBC and the rest will become the 24/7 obit channels.

North Korea could strike the US with nukes and no one would notice.

Hey - wait a minute... How close is the Iranian Embassy to the Jackson residence?

291 aren't fully  shit i am a type o machine

292 Oh, and how can we be sure it's really Michael Jackson.  He committed suicide or he was murdered.

Well according to The Sun UK he died after being given an injection of demerol. So it probably wasn't suicide or murder, just drug carelessness. And maybe an indifference to death.

293 Breaking - Shep Smith is worthless cocksucker and his time slots should be boycotted to get this fucking moron off the air.  I HATE that asshole.

Posted by: ken

 

I thought that went for atleast 20 bucks on the street corner ...

294 Was Jackson invited to Barry's BBQ? Cause if he was nobody just nobody will be showing up now.

295

What??? Michael Jackson is dead???

Why the fuck is no one in the media covering this???

296 Coolczech: Exactly! It's a conspiracy I say!

I'll bet Michael died of autoerotic asphyxiation as well.

More investigations need to be made of the other two celebs' deaths, I tell you ....

297 This is bigger news than  D-Day, which we all know was an irrelevant sideshow anyway!

298 I was able to stomach about two minutes of the Fox coverage, during which time some brunette chick sayd that everyone loved MJ and that he had touched so many lives.

When I turned it off, I think I heard Shep weeping gently in the background.  What the fuck is up with him?  I know he's always been orange faced and hysterical, but he seems to have gone over the edge.  Was MJ his first celebrity crush or something?

I blame Princess Diana.  The celebrity obsessed in this country have always been jealous of the culture of grief her death set off in England, and have been yearning for a similar death here for them to get behind.

299

FOX NEWS ALERT:

Shep Smith agrees to adopt Michael Jackson's gerbils.

300

I can't believe the heartless bastards at FNC are interrupting the continuous coverage of Michael Jackson's very sad death with commercials!! How could they?!  

Btw, I've decided Geraldo is more interesting than Shep because it's amusing (to me, anyway) to watch Geraldo make everything about him. 

301 Michael Jackson, David Caradine, Ed McMahon, and Farrah Faucett Majors

Dude, you're going to mess up the 'celebrities die in threes' fuckwitted numerologists' brains.

No, no, when the fourth celebrity dies, you just start a new triplet. So we have two more to go.

302 Don't do it Shep! You don't know where those gerbils have been ....

Oh well ... I guess Shep just wanted to become a real Gerbilist.

303

A little 'serious' note here ... Betting the LA ME finds cardio damage from years of eating disorders ...

 

Man can't live on 'young buck dogs' forever, you know

304 I blame Princess Diana.  The celebrity obsessed in this country have always been jealous of the culture of grief her death set off in England, and have been yearning for a similar death here for them to get behind.

Posted by: Scout at June 25, 2009 08:27 PM (7Uoki)

 

 

welcome to America's 'Diana moment'

305 Geraldo:

(while hitting joint)

"yo...its like....its like he went all reverse Tropic Thunder, maaaan.....i mean instead of white to black....he was like.....black to white yo....."

306 Michael's Nose- I hope you will search for Michael's Melanin.

307
In light of Mr Jackson's death, we're thinking of marketing and manufacturing a Michael Jackson Children's Thermometer.

It will play this:

Your butt is mine
Gonna take you right
Oh I'm bad, I'm bad, I'm bad...

when the temperature reaches 95 degrees and above.

What do you think?

308 Unicle Tweets and Logprof

Transformers 2 sucked?    That is news I can use.  

Their advertising is first class though, you can't go anywhere without targeted ads making it look child and family friendly during entertainment shows women watch, or focusing on the opposite super sexiness to men's mag audiences.   I'm in awe of their PR which made me think maybe it'd be good, wonder who's responsible.

309 299 Yeah, but will we ever see them?

310

Geraldo plans on opening Michael Jackson's safe in the mansion to uncover the secrets of his life.  I have it on good advise that Geraldo won't find Dick Cheney's cock. 

311 Nobody is looking at the bright side:  Elvis is beating the living (or dead) shit out of this little puke for defiling his daughter.

Now some can argue that she was incapable of being defiled - but that state came after the Michael issue.

In any event, Rock on Elvis! And, watch the nose - it will stick to your fist!

312 Damn. At lunch today, we were talking about Farrah, reminiscing. I made an idle comment about who was going to be number three.

Less than 2 hours later, MJ's dead and a bunch of my co-workers are creeped out.

313 Fixed Nik

314 right cheeses to go with Triscuit crackers


Dunk them in salsa con queso. Yummy.

What were we talking about?

315

a bunch of my co-workers are creeped out.

Explain it away as a Rovian plot and nothing more.

316 312 Damn. At lunch today, we were talking about Farrah, reminiscing. I made an idle comment about who was going to be number three.

Less than 2 hours later, MJ's dead and a bunch of my co-workers are creeped out.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur

 

We were ALL wondering who to blame for this!

317

I blame Princess Diana.  The celebrity obsessed in this country have always been jealous of the culture of grief her death set off in England, and have been yearning for a similar death here for them to get behind.

 

This is our "Di moment"

It's all about MEEEEE and how Di's death affected MEEEE

It's now about MEEEE and how Michael's death affects MEEEEE

318

I admit, as a child growing up in the late 80s and early 90s, Michael Jacksons music touched me deep down inside.  And when I say "music" I mean hand.

319 Okay, stop it, you guys. Michael Jackson touched a generation...

320

BREAKING NEWS:  Generalissimo Michael Jackson is still dead.

And Fox is playing MJ videos because Shep is overcome with emotion.

321 beat you to it 319

322 Michael Jackson has saved or created over 300 postings on AoSHQ.

323

HEH...anyone need a giggle?? Apparently there was a bitch fight between David Obey and Maxine Waters in the House floor

http://tinyurl.com/meucz6

 

 

324 How many liberal politicians will attend the funeral?  With the exception of the Black Caucus, Brown Caucus, Yellow Caucus, and Faggot/Lesbian Caucus, only two other's will attend.......Obambi and James Brown. 

325 Live coverage of the helicopter carrying the body?

It's like it's a pope or something.

326 Logprof

--sis, I recall a particularly annoying one from my college days with the refrain "James Brown . . . is dead!"

Oh really?   LOL   I totally missed that one.  100% accuracy so far with these songs and rumors eventually, somehow they keep getting proved right in the end.

327
Remember this day (and tomorrow and the next day and so on...) and compare it to the coverage the news outlets give the 40th anniversary of Apollo 11's moon landing on July 20th.

328 Goodbye, Jacko Rose...

329 #253 In Bengal Land Chad is known as 85 or, his real legal name according to the NFL is ochocinco. That is how he signed his papers. That is how his name will appear on his jersey. I do not know Spanish. How do you say  eightyfive in Spanish? Ocho=8 Cinco=5 . That much I know. 

330 I'm sorry, I think all of this shock and tears over Jackson's death was unwarranted. So he gave some music to the world and was a huge star-- I also believe he was a pedophile. If he was, good riddance.

331

Look on the bright side.  After a week of this bullshit hero worship, we will very rarely ever hear of him again, thank God.

And during that week we'll dust off our old cassette tapes of his better music and play them at least once, to remind ourselves what decent music used to sound like.

And we'll have that long overdue warning talk with our kids about freaky insane buttfuckers who prey on little kids.

And then the madness will end.

 

332 We live for these moments.

333 In a statement, one of the brothers - not Tito - made some reference to Allah. So, I'm guessing MJ was still into Islam, not JW.  He's probably up there with all those virgins, now.  Curled up in a fetal position. . ..

334 Ummm Barry....Michael Jackson has molested more children than you have.

335 AHFF: "do they keep [Jerry Rivers] in a sealed container at Fox studios with a sign on it:
"Break glass only in case of celebrity death"????"

Technically, I think his producers call it "the vault." His peers call it "the Capone." The public calls it "the blessed relief from a blithering douche."

Technically.

336 House resolution honoring American hero Michael Jackson in 3...2...1...

337

I am so SAD he is gone. I feel BADLY. I will miss him. He changed MY life. What was I doing when I heard the news of his tragic death? Well, let ME tell you; I was... ... ...

338 Wz hpn 2nt?  MJ b dd?! snp!

339 I also believe he was a pedophile. If he was, good riddance.

Every time a pedophile dies an imp gets his wings.

340 116...and the Sanchez sisters from hell....how can you forget them?

 Shep Smith is just unraveled because he and MJ planned a coming out party together and Michael chickened out.....
 But no worries Shep...I'm sure light in the loafers Barry will stand in as the black "guy" for you...

341 Fox News (and the rest of 'em I'm sure) are being treated to the vision of a helicoper with MJ/Its still warm body to the morgue. Jeebus Titty Fucking Christe. Just too much.

342 As hard as I'm trying, I'm finding it impossible to give a rusty fuck. After all, child molesters die every day. Get over it already.

343 Dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun doot doot doot doot

Billie Jean is not my lover........

344 I'm sure there's a way I can make this all about me.

345 Jack OD's    Cronkite's in the wings   Sanford rejoices ! .....

He - Heeeee !

346

A little 'serious' note here ... Betting the LA ME finds cardio damage from years of eating disorders ...

And then congress will begin working on legislation to ban eating disorders.

347

329

i think it is ochentocino

348 Michael Jackson hung out with more kids that Mr. Rogers.  The difference is one was a kindly old man who taught life lessons and the other was a pervert.

349

Cardiac Arrest? was he clutching a Zac Efron or Jonas Brothers pinup at the time?

350

Now it's Geraldo on Fox....front and center....his day in the sun...babbling,
postulating, kneeling at the Jackson altar. I mean, this is where he shines....
hanging like a Puerto Rican/Jewish flag at right angles in a hurricane gust,
or shoving his tabloid "inside information"( think O'reilly mumbling, "that
why we have you here at Fox") down my throat. If Shep shared his
sleeping bag with Michael, Mr. Rivers must have been "touched" by him
in a way that's just as scary. Geraldo will have MANY appearances
on Fox in the next few days. I will be using the remote just as inevitably.

 

 

 

 

351 I don't think I've laughed this much since the 2000 election resulte.

Thank you, fellow morons.

352

I would like to add that Shep Smith is a douchebag.

Thank you.

353

Rush calls Jerry Rivers "The Grim Reaper." I just happened to be on TMZ when this crap first popped up and thought, hmm, I'll put it on Twitter. Evidently I was one of the first ones. I got all kinds of hate and weird stuff. So I backed off, and left it alone and waited to have to apologise for freaking out weirdos, but it worked out ok. The minute I saw old Shep throw it to Geraldo I knew Rush was vindicated once more and the Angel of Death had done his deal.

354 Michael Jackson invited Howdy Doody over for a spend-the-night, but Buffalo Bob Smith thought it was improper for a grown man to sleep with young children.  Buffalo Bob was correct. 

355 Turned Fox off when they started going stupid.

356 Jackson was a talented, but deeply troubled guy.  Lots of hit songs.  We get it.

WTF is wrong w/the MSM?

357 You know what? He basically had one huge mega hit album. He did nothing for charity, he didn't help the poor, he was just a mess. Seriously - what is the fuss about? He probably screwed up a bunch of little boys for life. It really is so sick. Let's go back to Iran or healthcare.

358 Evidence indicates Jackson was a pedophile. Decorum dictates here, so I won't dance a celebratory moonwalk, but no tears for dead pedophiles.

359 As much of a freak as he became, you could make the case that if Michael Jackson hadn't crossed over to whites so well, Obama would not now be President. Obviously, there are a lot of other factors involved, but Jackson's popularity when I was growing up (early 80's) was massive and that was the first time I remember even the whitest white boy trying to emulate a black man.

360 That, Ace, is why I come back, day after day. 

361 Shep Smith is a moron.

362

No, no, when the fourth celebrity dies, you just start a new triplet. So we have two more to go.

In that case, there's only one more to go.

Well, at least if you count the death of Shep Smith's dignity.

363
One less child-molester in the world...

364 Geraldo Rivera is absolutely motherfucking unbearable.  Literally unwatchable.

365

Heaven's cool. Sparkly.

Haven't seen MJ. You sure he's coming?

366 Reminds me of an old joke about the Celebrity Loser Vacation:

You fly in with Carol Lombard....

Grace Kelly and James Dean drive you to your hotel....

Dip in the pool with Natalie Wood

Dinner with Mama Cass followed by drinks with William Holden.

367 Eighties kids can see the end of the road now, and it is approaching fast.


"But, I still have my Members Only jacket!"

368 We are so fucked up. Iranians being beaten to death, Obama dances, the Congress yams cap and trade and is going fuck up the health care system, jobs going down the drain, Korea wants to nuke us, and is Michael Jackson wall to wall. Shit.

369
Donna Brazille and other top Democrats can say wonderful things about a pedophile, Michael Jackson.

But if John McCain or any presidential candidate has his photo taken with Jerry Falwell...

370

I am a physician. I'm sure Michael's nose fell off during resuscitation. Let's

find it NOW, before the Jackson family auction takes place on E-bay in

the next few months.

371 Do I need to see that movie "Idiocracy" now?  Music videos as "News"?  Where's Kurt Loder?

372 I love basketball but have never heard of some of these guys being considered in the draft.  Dude from Spain, Sergio Llull -- five letters in his name, four of them l's.  I can't go for that, no-o-o, no can do.

373 You con(victs) never fail to disappoint me with your utter lack of compassion.

Makes me proud to be a liberal.

374 It's looking more like a suicide, ever since they found one end of a rope tied around Jacko's neck and the other end tied around David Carradine's penis

375 Check this out. Some skinny middle aged Jewish actor just passed me going 80 miles an hour !

376
The same people celebrating the life of Michael Jackson, a pedophile, are constantly shitting on Gov Sarah Palin.

These. People. Sicken. Me.

377 My two cats are very nonchalant about this whole thing. When I told them this HISTORIC life altering news, one just sat there and yawned, the other went to the food dish.

Cats are so heartless

378 LACE MOTHERFUCKING WIGS

379 The rumor now is that he died of food poisoning from eating 12 year old nuts.

380 Has anyone checked on Abe Vigoda?

381 Thanks for stealing my thunder, you freak.

382 logprof@249...and that's why it is so easy to get rid of them when they show up at your door. just tell them you are pretty sure that "heaven" is all filled up already....

 207....Goldblum story a hoax...someone should tell wikipedia... that always honest and accurate purveyor of "facts" then......snicker

383 You con(victs) never fail to disappoint me with your utter lack of compassion.

Compassion is for losers, pansy.

384 @373 -Bulldildo - Nobody gives a shit what you're proud of.

385 Well, my girlfriend told her cat the news of Michael. The cat coughed up a hairball and molded it into the shape of MJ

386 He is survived by his three children, Prince Michael Jackson, "Blanket," and, um, I don't know his other kid's name. "Spatula," maybe. "Soup Tureen." Some other common household item, I'd imagine.

Fucking Classic!

I'm sill waiting on reaction from Corey Feldman

When I think I my Jackson...all I hear is Enter Sandman.

387 Gee, if only we had Obamacare, we could have avoided this sad state of affairs...

/sarc

388 What do Michael Jackson and caviar have in common? They both come on little crackers.

389 You con(victs) never fail to disappoint me with your utter lack of compassion.

We aim to please.

390

Putting my "Thriller" record album on ebay ... Some weepy sap (Shep) will buy it

 

Gonna need some help paying for the first month's increases on utility bills after tomorrow

391 Michaels' new project will be a benefit album for Zombies called "We are the Dead"...
...

...slated to appear: Frank Sinatra, Jim Morrison, Jimmi Hendrix, Dean Martin, Ricky Nelson, Gus Van Zandt, Ace Frehly...you get the idea.

392 Whoa Whoa Whoa...."Well, at least if you count the death of Shep Smith's dignity."
 He had dignity????
 Come on...how can you joke around on such a sad day.....

393 389 You con(victs) never fail to disappoint me with your utter lack of compassion.

We aim to please.

Posted by: cheshirecat

 

The only thing we snipers feel is the recoil of the gun ...

394 373 You con(victs) never fail to disappoint me with your utter lack of compassion.

Makes me proud to be a liberal.

Aren't you supposed to type a teary entry onto your Facebook blog about Michael's meaning to YOUR life, then crawl into a ball and cry yourself to sleep? What kind of liberal are you?

395 381 Thanks for stealing my thunder, you freak.

Posted by: Farrah Fawcett at June 25, 2009 08:58 PM (oE1S9)

 

You BOTH suck.

396 Fuck off Bullwinkle......shouldn't you be off buggering Rocky now

397 Roy: "It's looking more like a suicide, ever since they found one end of a rope tied around Jacko's neck and the other end tied around David Carradine's penis"

OK. I giggled at that like I was a little school girl Shep Smith. I'm going to hell for it... but it was worth it.

398
Kinda funny that the day the Supreme court says "Strip Search of Child Illegal", MJ checks out from this earth.  Guess he couldn't take the disappointment.

-AC

399 I remember the day Moe of The Three Stooges died. "Moe Howard died today," said NBC's John Chancellor, the words delivered with a smile. There followed a few sentences recognizing a good man and a long life well lived, a man who brought laughter to millions. He ended by saying how much he would be missed, and that he's in a better place now, and wished him well. End of story. End of newscast. Roll credits.

The MSM once had class.

400 Red on Red fire - "Conservatives" attacking a Fox News anchor.

The circular firing squad continues.

401 388....I officially despise you for that image....ack ack ack

402

Oops! Geraldo found Jackson's nose......but will secrete it in a secret vault,
to be opened upon his death by Steve Doocy, or, whoever takes Doocy's
position on the "We Report, You Decide" network.

 

403 And now on Fox, without commercial interruption, until we can get Shep out of the control room without harming any of the hostages, "The Wiz"

404

393 389 You con(victs) never fail to disappoint me with your utter lack of compassion.

This, from the bunch that would book a tour to spit on Reagan's grave

405 i have got to stop with the sokpupets cuz I always fergit to turn em off

406 Michael Jackson hated being a black person.

407 Hmmm...."circular firing squad"....where's the cracker?

408 341 Fox News (and the rest of 'em I'm sure) are being treated to the vision of a helicoper with MJ/Its still warm body to the morgue.

NOW can I get in to the emergency room have this bullet yanked out of my liver?

409 I heard a report that it wasn't suicide, but that it was food poisioning from eating a 12 year-old penis.

410 Poon misses the tang as usual ... Shep and Jerry aren't why we watch FOX, buttwhiff.  Maybe you and Bulldildo should go grab drinks, and pick up T-Dub on the way out.

411 I heard a report that it wasn't suicide, but that it was food poisioning from eating a 12 year-old penis.

Everyone knows not to eat 12 year-old penis in months beginning with "J".

412 In real non-news, AP in the Age of Obama still has no shame.  Transformers movie may be racist you know.

"Jive Talking Twin Transformers Raise Race Issues" 

LOS ANGELES - Harmless comic characters or racist robots?

413 Actually sounded better as Ed McMahon saying it, Jones.

414 400 Red on Red fire - "Conservatives" attacking a Fox News anchor.

The circular firing squad continues.

poon, your circle jerk on Kos has NOT been cancelled tonight because of this national tragedy

415 And what of O.J.?  You'd think he'd have the common courtesy to show up and offer his respects.

Especially with Geraldo there.  And Greta.

416  
 This is the post of the night, seriously?  Nothing else is happening out there, NORK, Iran, Waters and Obey having a slapfight, the raping of our healthcare system, defense appropriations threatened with veto, and we get an MJ thread?

417 Wait'll Bette Midler goes. Shep will openly weep on air.

418 poon: "Red on Red fire - 'Conservatives' attacking a Fox News anchor.

The circular firing squad continues."

Yo, sugartits. Since when is Shep a "red?" Don't bust your last synapse squaring that circle.

419

So what happened today that's got the media in such a frenzy? Did I stop turning?

420

Buckwheat dead: America mourns.

421 You know, I don't care one way or the other for MJ but I know a lot of people who truly do - or at least used to when they were teenagers - I can't begrudge them their night of news. He really was a big deal and cultural phenomena at one point. One last explosion of headlines and news seems like a fitting way to see the King Of Pop.

Flame on - just don't liken me to any fricken lib.

422 This is a topical thread.

423 Well, how convenient!

Maybe we can use this crisis to pass socialist health care.

424 #400 poon  go away. it's been real nice here all evening without a single sockpuppet to spoil our day.BE GONE I SAY! Come back another day!

425

For those of you who have not seen the videotape of Buckwheat being shot, let’s take a look.

426 I've adapted one of my earlier hits for this occasion:

"Don't Let Your Son Go Down on Me"

427 Yeah I'm not keen on the nostalgia for a pedophile. 

I was playing Plants vs Zombies ... a zombie appeared with a red vinyl jacket and a jerry curl.  He struck a pose, lights came on, and four dancer zombies (with 80s-style tank tops and leg warmers) popped out of the ground.  I just about died laughing.

428 poon, bullwinkle

In memory of Michael, you will be allowed to put the Home Alone DVD into your computer and jerk off to it

429 In his last moments, Jackson was heard singing a very strange version of "My Way"

430 Shepard Smith has always been jealous of Trent Lott, a former cheerleader at Ole Miss.  Shepard tried out of the squad, but was disqualified for not being manly enough, and his insistence on wearing pink panties.

431

We have just received word that Buckwheat has been shot. Apparently, it happened just moments ago as the legendary performer was leaving 30 Rockefeller Plaza in New York. He had just finished making an appearance on "Saturday Night Live", and as he was leaving the building, he was shot by an unknown assailant, or assailants.. details are sketchy at this point. Now, I understand that we now have a videotape of the shooting - let's take a look.

432 Michael once told me that I had the whitest teeth he's ever come across

433 Well I guess that about wraps it up for peter pan huh?

434 God (not Obama) has a way of evening out the scales of justice in a profound way.  I will shed no tears over this person's passing.

435 #390-Oh, you  obviously didn't watch the Trainwreck Shepster for the first hour and a half of this shizz. He was rolling off deets about Jackson, along with his crystal clear memories with military precision. He has definately got Thriller, and most likely everything else including his old white glove and highwater pants. He was into it. It was f#cking insane. I couldn't look away. Now, Olbermann might not still have his copy, he recently scaled down to live in his million dollar apt in Trump Tower, so some things might have went by the wayside. Tweet him, I am SURE he will get right back to ya.

436 I wonder if my daughters Michael Jackson record player and lunch box have increased in value.

437 Shepard Smith has always been jealous of Trent Lott, a former cheerleader at Ole Miss.  Shepard tried out of the squad, but was disqualified for not being manly enough, and his insistence on wearing pink panties.

It was Trent Lott's hair.  You know it's true.

438

Obamacare, could it have saved Michael Jackson...

Let's take a look.

439

Does anyone know how to remove glitter? Hi, PGiS! [waves]

440
Man, I'm already tired of hearing about this.  Yes, he had a sad life - but he was a FREAK.  Can we please move on?

441 Does anyone know how to remove glitter?

Depends.  From where?

442 The Fox "The Wiz" Hostage Crisis Marathon continues.

Shep has just now released the female hostages.

443 Didn't MJ convert to Islam a few years ago? I think it was the promise of 72 virgins, especially after he'd seen The Vienna Boys Choir on PBS

444 BREAKING NEWS: TARGET STORES DEVASTATED IN THE AFTERMATH OF DEATH OF KING OF POP

PARKING LOTS SAID TO HAVE MANY OPEN SPACES CLOSE TO THE DOOR

CASHIERS STUNNED AND SILENT WITH FEW CUSTOMERS IN LINES

film at 11

445 Well, I guess there are somethings beyond even the power of bacon.

446 Max Headroom has died, apparently during the analog switch.  He had suffered from the Conficker virus.

447 For sale on Ebay

One calf's leather glove, no wrinkles, very smooth

448 Da da doot doot doot, another pedophile bites the dust...

449 Greta just said his personal physician was there?  Did I hear correctly?  Why didn't they just call an ambulance?

450 First, couldn't michael jackson have the decency to die tomorrow and let this be FARRAH FAWCETT'S day?

geesh.

Second, on CNN Larry King Still-Alive show, Celine Dion actually said "I'm watching all these images. Its like JFK..."
THAT'S IT! I switched immediately and thanked God for the invention of the remote control.

Third, I am now watching - in order: Cavuto, Beck, TBS reruns of Seinfeld, O'Reilly (although he's gone mushy too), Hannity, Greta (who's grown some big big testicles and I like it) and then more reruns or some other small cable niche channel until RED EYE on Fox.

Burn Notice is good and had BSG's Caprica 6 on last season and its got BRUCE CAMPBELL!

Shop Smart
Shop S-MART.

Shep is not getting either my cable or my dish network vote, if that's the way they tally things - and dish keeps track of what I watch because of it being connected to the phone line at all times.

451 Aren't you supposed to type a teary entry onto your Facebook blog about Michael's meaning to YOUR life

I was no fan of Michael Jackson but he was really fucked up by his father and I feel sorry for him.

452 Brooke Shields' gynecologist announced today that they found the other glove. 

453 I'm watching the Home Shopping Network.  At least their not selling any Michael Jackson mementos.

454 Q: How do you neuter Michael Jackson?
A: Give him spiked gloves and tell him to sing a song!

455 " Breaking: Boy Scout's sphincters everywhere unclench in relief at the news."

YES!!!

456 Was he wearing a burqa at the time?

457

I have a question. Why does Fox let CNN mornings advertise on their network?

Another one-who is the old black guy that Greta is interviewing? He is a comedian? And a "family friend?" He is telling some weird stuff, or rather regular Michael stuff, I guess. Dick Gregory? Who?

458 I question the timing.  Just one day after the messiah laid out his healthcare plan and Farrah and Michael both die!  John Edwards to channels both, proclaim they will rise from the dead as soon as obamacare passes.

459 388 - Use your own for that shit, ricky/Trout.

460 MJ's Dad does have some 'splainin' to do.

461 I guess I'd better get knocked up, give birth in the middle of the dance floor after 25 whiskey sours, and have one of my fans retrieve the infant from the ladies room sink. After all, it'll be important news and I'll be forgiven because it's ALL about the music.

I want to go out like Marilyn did. Is it true she pooped in her negligee when she died?

462 We are all about Jacksoned out.. Lets talk anything else. All this glitter in the air is starting to make my eyes burn. I think I just tripped on something on the ground.. Damn glove. Where did that come from!

463

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464 Thankfully, at last, the fucking wig ad.

465 Hey, anyone get sooo sick of Shep earlier they switched over to see if Olbermann was crying and blaming this on Bush/Cheney?

466 Yes, we have no bananas.

467

I'm watching the Home Shopping Network.  At least their not selling any Michael Jackson mementos.

Give it a day. Two, tops.

468 Anyone seen Janet Jackson today?

469 MJ's best momento will be his merkin.

470 The good news is that this takes Sanford off the front burner.

The bad news is that it takes Iran, cap-and-trade, and who knows what off the front burner, too.   And Shep never mentioned he was a pedophile. If he did, I missed it.

Did you ever think about what Bushmills does to your your typing skills?  Just consider before you try to comment.

471 Dick Gregory, seems like a fascinating man.

472
Wait and see the nasty comments by the same Michael Jackson worshipers when Bill Graham dies.

473 I know 4 teenagers who lost a parent in the last year to accidents and disease. I have no time to consider what the death of Michael Jackson means to America. I will watch no coverage. I will post no more comments on the subject. Not that anyone cares, nor should they.

474 So I hear the pallbearers are going to be 8 chimps?

475 From LA Times:

The circumstances of Jackson's death remain unclear. Law enforcement sources said that Los Angeles Police Department robbery-homicide detectives have opened an investigation into the death, though they stressed there was no evidence of criminal wrongdoing. The detectives plan to interview relatives, friends and Jackson's doctors to try to figure out what happened. The L.A. County coroner's office will determine a cause of death.

What did I tell you.  It's got all the ingredients for a celebrity mystery myth:

Unclear circumstances.
Demerol injection.
LAPD.
Jackson's personal physician on the scene.
LA County coroner for Christ's sake.
Geraldo.
Greta.
O.J. will be in this, count on it.
And who was the first person that Shepard Smith interviewed this afternoon on MJ's death?  That's right, Joe 'funny how?' Pesci. 

476

"373 You con(victs) never fail to disappoint me with your utter lack of compassion.

Makes me proud to be a liberal."

Yes, n how many deaths will it take till he knows
That too many people have died?

 

477

To repeat: Buckwheat has been shot. He's now in emergency surgery, and all we Americans can do is wait and worry.

478 That lace wig ad guy has impeccable timing. Really knows how to break up a tense thread.

479 just wait until the alien bursts out during the autopsy and melts through the table.

that'll really make some media waves.

480 Coming out of lurking just to say:  have any of you frikkin' morons ever considered the idea that Rahm was behind this?!11?!  MJ dies, the media is all over it 24/7, and Cap and Trade slides thru like crap outta a goose.   Chicago, dudes.

481 I love the shot of the Apollo theater. There's whole 200 people there. They have to frame it just right just to fill the frame with people.

482 Who wants a hand job?

483 373 You con(victs) never fail to disappoint me with your utter lack of compassion.

Makes me proud to be a liberal.

Why aren't you screaming to all the MJ mourners the usual liberal line of "Why is THIS death more important than all the people being slaughtered in Darfur!!"

484

I sent Fox News an email saying I am interested in important news, like the fact that Cap & Trade is to be voted on tomorrow and I expect real news from them, not Michael Jackson for ( I just checked, 10:38 pm EDT, stilll Jackson) and I know the vast majority of the public is ignorant but get this off the air and put Cap & Trade being thrown at us with the vast majority, Obama voters mainly, having no idea the real impact of it.

Rush Limbaugh is right, Geraldo is the Grim Reaper. If there is a death, Geraldo is covering it.

 

Fire Shep Smith.  Do you remember him crying during Katrina?

485 480 Coming out of lurking just to say:  have any of you frikkin' morons ever considered the idea that Rahm was behind this?!11?!  MJ dies, the media is all over it 24/7, and Cap and Trade slides thru like crap outta a goose.   Chicago, dudes.

Posted by: Jane D'oh!

 

Wonder who else was on that list of 'candidates' that lived to see another day ... They checking his bed sheets for a pony's head yet?

486

Savage versus Levin/Rush/Hannity

http://tinyurl.com/me9dxc

487 There's no mystery to this death and more than there was to Heath Ledger. It's mixing drugs that do it every time. Any idiot that doesn't know what he's sticking in his mouth will do to him and how it interacts with what's already in there is just askin' for it.

488 Will any of those crackerjack reporters ever notice that the kids Michael Jackson supposedly fathered are white, and he's....you know....black?

I'll look into it. This is right up my alley...

489 Sheila Jackson-Lee, D(umbass, TX) dedicated the landing on Mars and planting of the American flag to the memory of Michael Jackson.  Jackson-Lee has always been ahead of the curve, way ahead of the curve by probably 20+ years. 

490 I know 4 teenagers who lost a parent in the last year to accidents and disease. I have no time to consider what the death of Michael Jackson means to America. I will watch no coverage. I will post no more comments on the subject. Not that anyone cares, nor should they.

Actually we do care, bro.  Sorry to hear that.  We kid here all the time, but that's real world right there.  Hang in there.

491 Hi. just wanted to introduce myself to you wonderful guys.  I'm a mom from Savannah who's 19 year-old son is off to Parris Island the end of August.  My husband and I enjoyed MJ's music.  Aside from that, he's a probable child abuser, and an ass.

492

So, nearing 11:00 ET ... Fox usually repeats the 8:00 Factor @ 11 ...

 

They gonna repeat the Shep Smith bump so we can relive that steaming pile of pussy shit again?

493

its 10 pm, and MJ is still dead.

 

...and I have moved from not caring to really not giving a shit.

 

The NBA draft is on.....

494 MJ's Death = Poster Child for Obamacare.
Reach 50 and your sick? Here's a massive shot of Demerol for you and a check from Social Security for $216 for death benefits. Next in line please.

495 And who was the first person that Shepard Smith interviewed this afternoon on MJ's death?  That's right, Joe 'funny how?' Pesci.

Yeh, I hadda go testify at his trial when I used to drive that Culkin kid over to Santa Barbara after shooting Home Alone 2.  Little prick got carsick all the time but it mighta been nerves. The prosecuter asks me what can I tell him about these drives and I tell him I don't know nothing, zero, nadda. And he says, well yeh, you're gonna tell me something tough guy, and I say "I'll tell ya something, go fuck your mother!" I thought he'd shit

496 Fox is still at it.

Time to flip around and see if I can find a Deadliest Catch marathon or something.

Then tomorrow, if that cap-n-tax happens, I'll start redoing the family budget. with big cutbacks on most of our spending.

497

 I'm a mom from Savannah who's 19 year-old son is off to Parris Island the end of August

Welcome mom and bless your son.

498

So I hear the pallbearers are going to be 8 chimps?

Pretenders, CC, they're all pretenders. There's only one Bubbles.

499
Hi. just wanted to introduce myself to you wonderful guys.

Hello, Jane.

Michael Jackson inspired me to moonwalk.

500 493

its 10 pm, and MJ is still dead.

And I'm still revolving around the sun. Or is it Michael Jackson. Obama? Hell, I don't know anymore

501 Do you think google with help track the runners from Obacare end-of-life madate care?

502 So how's Michael doing, anyway? Feeling a little stiff?

503 398
Kinda funny that the day the Supreme court says "Strip Search of Child Illegal", MJ checks out from this earth.  Guess he couldn't take the disappointment.

You owe me one coffee and one screen wipe

504 Okay, here's what happened. I woke up and there was this scary dude with red glowing eyes standing over my bed, holding this big sickle and looking down at me.  I swear it was Dick Cheney. He asked if my name was Michael and I told him, "No, Michael lives over there," and just pointed in a random direction.  Honest, I thought it was Dick Cheney trying to spy on me, like he does to all the innocent unaware citizens.  How was I supposed to know?

505

Feeling a little stiff?

Hey! That's my line!

506 Jane (annoyed grunt), good luck to you and yours with the Marines; they are some of the nicest people I know.  I've been whistling a collection of MJ's hits during my nightly constitutional.   

507 Why is Woody Allen pointing a gun at a fake nose?

508
You think "Jane" is a confederate? An infiltrator?

_{My moron-sense is tingling.}

509 BREAKING NEWS: Francisco Franco is still dead!

510 Michael Jackson may be in the cooler, but he's still a pedophile, even in death.  Check. 

511

Michael always said he loved champagne because of the way I tickled his nose.

512
wow over 500 comments

_{and I think 200 of them are mine}

513
I blame Bush.

514

Well according to The Sun UK he died after being given an injection of demerol. So it probably wasn't suicide or murder, just drug carelessness. And maybe an indifference to death.

Demerol?  Piker.

515 And I'm still revolving around the sun. Or is it Michael Jackson. Obama? Hell, I don't know anymore
Posted by: Earth at June 25, 2009 09:49 PM

Well, he never did the "Earthwalk". I'm shuddering to think all because of that frigging dance step I'm gonna end up being renamed to Michael Jackson. Think of the headline changes of "NASA to send probe to explore Michael Jackson's craters"

516

This fucker molested LITTLE KIDS.

And all these Hollywood assholes giving quotes about how great he was enabled him.

How many people had to turn their backs on doing the right thing for him to get away with what he did?

517

I'm trying to be sad.  I really am.  And I really am.  Sorry Michael for the way things turned out.

But can we get back to important things like health care and cap and trade?  bo must think he has the votes necessary because all of a sudden this must be passed tomorrow.

Like all of their bs, ram it though before people can read and debate it.

There has to be a way to stop the insanity.

518

"NASA to send probe to explore Michael Jackson's craters"
I thought those were on Uranus not the Moon.

519 Dudes, the braves just lost and i flicked on Greta.

did anyone see that wacked out video with like Eddie Murphy and Magic and shit?

520 As a child, I was deeply touched by Michael Jackson. No, really.

521 We won.

522

its 10 pm, and MJ is still dead.

...and I have moved from not caring to really not giving a shit.

The NBA draft is on.....

Well, that's two things that don't peg my give-a-shit meter.

523 Who will be the lucky recipient of the gloved hand during transplant?  The heart is unusable because it's so dark, and the brain is so evil it should be destroyed. 

524 Yuk it up now while you still can republican haters. Just wait til the Pedophile protection hate crimes act is law and you all end up in jail for hateful statements.

525 who's = whose 

one glass of wine too much.

526

Just posted this at fox's MJ Memorial:

 

Just think-

Those hundreds, possibly thousands, of Iranian protesters who were killed yesterday in the massacre in Tehran that the media isn't covering will never know that Michael Jackson is dead.

The Congress is voting on the LARGEST tax increase in history TOMORROW, plus designing a takeover of 1/6th the US economy- I hope Michael Jackson's death doesn't impact that- we will never know, since all we are hearing is about Michael Jackson moving on.

N Korea is threatening nuclear war- DO THEY NOT UNDERSTAND Michael Jackson kicked?????
Al Qaeda recently announced they will use the (possibly soon to be captured) Pakistani Nuclear arsenal to attack Americans and American interests- how does Michael Jackson's death affect this plan????

Has Obama issued a statement yet?

Where are we as a country, that THIS spectacle requires wall to wall coverage????

 

Wonder if they will accept it- I tried to keep it somewhat tasteful.

 

527 #451
Hey Idiotwinkle.
A lot of us are fucked up by our parents but we don't end up molesting little boys.
Bite on that assbag.

528 I suppose a serious note is merited here.

Here goes.

Her name was Neda.

529

Keef Olberdouche had his moments too. Especially when he said Jackson might not have died if whitey had cared a little more. Then he offered up his ass to a black guy...out of guilt.

No surprise with Shep. He's a huge faggot. He's all broken up because he remembers listening to a Jackson tune the first time he took it up the ass.

530 Re. Shep: Why are so many gay guys just frickin' OBSESSED with celebrities?

531 Is he still dead?

532 Damn. At lunch today, we were talking about Farrah, reminiscing. I made an idle comment about who was going to be number three.

Less than 2 hours later, MJ's dead and a bunch of my co-workers are creeped out.

Awesome

533 Breaking News:  President William Henry Harrison has died.

534
What was that "Iran confessions" all about? Were the Iranians forcing people to confess their opposition on to the government on televsion?

535 Man, the media's priorities sure do suck.

536 534
What was that "Iran confessions" all about? Were the Iranians forcing people to confess their opposition on to the government on televsion?

Think it was about their support of Shep's constant whatthefuckery.

537 MJ wasn't the only dancing fool.

538

If only it would have been Sarah Palin!

539 Starting to come out that Jackson collapsed after taking an injection of Demerol.

540 524 Yuk it up now while you still can republican haters. Just wait til the Pedophile protection hate crimes act is law and you all end up in jail for hateful statements.
Posted by: Nancy Pelosi at June 25, 2009 09:58 PM

Oh yeh? Read that Green Energy Bill carefully, especially the paragraph with "Soylent" in it.

541 #399
I remember the day Moe of The Three Stooges died.


Moe is dead? Take it back or I'll brain ya.

542 OMG! Is Duran Duran next?

543 Breaking News: President Zachary Taylor has died from acute tummy ache.

544 517

I'm trying to be sad.  I really am.  And I really am.  Sorry Michael for the way things turned out.

But can we get back to important things like health care and cap and trade?  bo must think he has the votes necessary because all of a sudden this must be passed tomorrow.

Like all of their bs, ram it though before people can read and debate it.

There has to be a way to stop the insanity.

Posted by: txpanhandler at June 25, 2009 09:55 PM (E5620)

eleventy.....sigh....

the fact that there is a vote tomorrow most certainly does mean El Douche thinks he has the votes - and he's right.  the Obamatariat granted red state rural Dems an exemption from cap and trade hell for livestock - aka the "cow tax" - so they're gonna vote for this shit sandwhich, and that's all folks. 

take a look at the cow tax discussion - that is the same for everything this bill is going to regulate - which is the biggest tax in the world history.  Maybe that's the catchy logo - Biggest tax in world history.

I mean really, is there anything to be done? how about a million phone calls campaign by all the right wing radio talking heads? fucking eh....

politico:

Chairman Henry Waxman (D-Calif.) has overcome one of the last big obstacles standing in the path of his landmark climate-change bill, cutting a deal with Agriculture Committee Chairman Collin Peterson, who sought greater protections in the bill for farmers and other rural interests.

Their agreement sets the stage for a vote Friday in the House.

Under the deal, the U.S. Department of Agriculture will oversee the offset program for farmers, and the House will seek further guidance from the Obama ! important; font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-weight: 400; font-size: 13.0167px;">administration about the appropriate role for the EPA. And Waxman has agreed to ask the EPA to roll back its new requirements that farmers offset rural land developed in other countries. Both were major sticking points for rural members and the many agriculture associations opposed to the bill.

AP ARTICLE:

THE INFLUENCE GAME: Excuse me! Lobby wins on burpsTHE INFLUENCE GAME: After 'cow tax' campaign, Congress and EPA steer clear of cattle burps

WASHINGTON (AP) -- One contributor to global warming -- bigger than coal mines, landfills and sewage treatment plants -- is being left out of efforts by the Obama administration and House Democrats to limit greenhouse gas emissions.

Cow burps.

Belching from the nation's 170 million cattle, sheep and pigs produces about one-quarter of the methane released in the U.S. each year, according to the Environmental Protection Agency. That makes the hoofed critters the largest source of the heat-trapping gas.

In part because of an adept farm lobby campaign that equates government regulation with a cow tax, the gas that farm animals pass is exempt from legislation being considered by Congress to limit greenhouse gas emissions.

The EPA under President Barack Obama has said it has no plans to regulate the gas, even though the agency recently included methane among six greenhouse gases it believes are endangering human health and welfare.

The message circulating in Internet chat rooms, the halls of Congress and farm co-ops had America's farms facing financial ruin if the EPA required them to purchase air-pollution permits like power plants and factories do. [editor AHFF note: AP here assumes that cap and trade will pass by using the active voice] The cost of those permits amounted to a cow tax, farm groups argued.

"It really has taken on a life of its own," said Rick Krause, a lobbyist with the American Farm Bureau Federation, which coined the term cow tax and spread it to farmers across the country. "This is something that people understand. All that we have to say is that (cows) are the next step with these proposed permit fees. And people are still talking about it."

Administration officials and House Democratic leaders have tried to assure farm groups that they have no intention of regulating cows. That effort, however, has done little to ease the concern of farmers and their advocates in Congress about the toll that regulating greenhouse gases will have on agriculture.

Lawmakers and farm groups are now pressing for the climate legislation to guarantee that farmers will be compensated for taking steps to reduce greenhouse gases. That could lead to farmers getting paid if their cows pass less gas.

Research has shown that changing cattle diet and boosting efficiency -- such as producing the same amount of milk and beef from a smaller herd -- can result in less gas, according Frank M. Mitloehner, an associate professor at the University of California at Davis, who has studied livestock gas for 15 years.

"I don't think livestock should be ignored. Every industry has to play their role," Mitloehner said. But laws designed to reduce emissions from smokestacks and tailpipes won't work with cattle, which can't be fitted with pollution control devices, Mitloehner said.

"The belching is very hard to collect," he said. "You cannot capture these gases."

The climate bill specifically excludes enteric fermentation -- the fancy term for the gas created by digestion and expelled largely by burping -- from the limit it would place on greenhouse gas emissions. The legislation directs the EPA not to include it among the various sources that could be subject to new performance standards.

EPA administrator Lisa Jackson has called rumors of the cow tax "ridiculous notions" and a "distraction."

House aides and EPA officials say that controlling such emissions is unworkable. Cow burps make up about 2 percent of all the climate-altering pollution in the U.S.

But allies of farmers in Congress say the reluctance to step in the cow tax debate has a lot to do with the outcry from the agriculture industry and moderate Democrats from rural states whose votes are needed to pass the bill.

"I think they realized that if you are a Democrat in an agricultural state, a red state, that this is radioactive and I think that is why they have tried scrupulously to reaffirm that they don't have any intention of doing this," said Sen. John Thune, R-S.D. He is sponsoring a bill that would bar the EPA from requiring farmers to get permits for cattle burps.

Thune, whose state is home to a half-million cattle, first heard about the cow tax at a South Dakota Cattlemen Association's conference in early December. Within weeks he introduced his bill and recruited support from New York Democratic Sen. Chuck Schumer, whose state boasts three times more cows.

The origins of the cow tax can be traced to last July, when President George W. Bush's EPA released documents outlining how the Clean Air Act could regulate greenhouse gases.

Even though the Bush administration had no intention of using the law, farm groups seized on a single paragraph deep in the comments from various federal agencies. The Agriculture Department warned that if EPA decided to regulate agricultural sources of greenhouse gases, numerous farms would face costly and time-consuming process to acquire permits for barnyard burping.

The Farm Bureau quickly did the math and figured farms would have to pay about $175 for each dairy cow, $87.50 per head of beef cattle and $20 for each hog to purchase permits for emissions.

The cow tax was born.

545
John Kerry, I know, right? So much for the Democrats changing the tone in Washington.

546

Don't eat Soylent Off-White! It's Michael!! Soylent Off-White is Michael!!!

547 539 Starting to come out that Jackson collapsed after taking an injection of Demerol.

And an injection that might have Bubbles in it.

548

And you did a good job Gerry.  That was my point here.  Who cares when there are so many important things happening?

I pray that American is not as stupid as those controlling the government and media seem to think we are.

549 I suppose a serious note is merited here.

Here goes.

Her name was Neda.

...she was a showgirl...

Oh, too soon...

(I'm sorry, but that just popped in my head when I read that sentence. Yes, I'm probably going to hell.)

550 In other news, soldiers (aka my brother) are heading to war in to Afghanistan. Nothing to see here, move along.

551

From Twitter:

@IranNewsNow RIP Michael Jackson. Ppl fllwing #MichaelJaction, please also follow #IranElection. Ppl in Iran are fighting 4 their lives!

 

(Fox's Special report which also got 'bumped' by Shep) Brett Baier's Facebook Update: "Sorry - we had to cover this ... we'll be back tomorrow. It wasn't our choice."

 

 

552 Michael Jackson is too big to fail.
Therefore, I've directed Treasury Secretary Geithner to extend Michael a 60 billion dollar loan in exchange for a controlling interest in his future recording career.

553 550 In other news, soldiers (aka my brother) are heading to war in to Afghanistan. Nothing to see here, move along.

God bless, and godspeed to him. He has my thanks for his service, and my hopes that he gets back to the world ok.

554 OK, I got pissed off enough at the wall-to-wall MJ coverage that I created a twitter account.

What channels should I be following for Iran news?

555 From the Sun:

He collapsed and stopped breathing after an injection of a powerful painkiller named Demerol.

Jacko, 50, was said to be addicted to the drug - similar to morphine - and it is feared he took an overdose.

556

And an injection that might have Bubbles in it.

That's sick.

And save that political crap for the ONT, AHFF. We're all in mourning here.

557 I don't know about MJ's fans, but a lot of mine did the world and offed themselves after I cashed in my chips

558 In other news, President Abe Lincoln has died.

559 Of course, Michael felt a "little stiff" for the first time about 30 years ago, and coninued to feel little stiffs at his Neverland Ranch throughout his life...

560 What channels should I be following for Iran news?

#iranelection  #neda

When you see these, they'll point you to other tweets

561 This post is why I'm liking this site.

562 556

funny - i like the bubbles theory.

it really is a tragedy 1200 pages of Obamatariat fraud is going to actually pass the House tomorrow.  Can you even imagine the boondoogles and various hidden payoffs to all manner of "interests" in that bill?

Most fraudulent bill of all-time.  Or at least fighting the Stimulus bill in a death match for "most fraudulent"

563 O/T:  Ace, "the other McCain" is quoting you from your "sanford's presser" article, that was a good article.

564 Demerol, shemerol.  It was those disco guys on the grassy knoll.

565 This just in....liberals are brain dead. Repeating liberals are brain dead.

566 152And then this has been compared to Kennedy, Princess Di, John Lennon, Elvis, James Dean and Marilyn. Is that the end of the roll call of the dead too soon stars?

Don't forget Jimmy, Janis, and Jim.

567

funny - i like the bubbles theory.

That I'm the only one he ever really loved, AHFF? Thanks, man. I take it back about saving it for the ONT.

568 Some people are so stupid it hurts. They'll eat this "MJ is dead" shit up as long as the media shovels it.

As if it really matters... Who the hell is not going to die at some point?

Our government is getting set to cap and trade your ass while you're eating shit. Look up before it's too late. The shit eating grin will win, I guess.

569 In the meantime, The One is hosting a Hawaiian ho-down this weekend.

Let's all take a cleansing breath of air, stretch, and shoot ourselves in the head.   In the end, there will be barbeques, cocktail parties, and conga lines.

570 And an injection that might have Bubbles in it.

I don't care what anybody says, that's some fucking funny shit right there.

571 569 In the meantime, The One is hosting a Hawaiian ho-down this weekend.

DUDE, I am SO there...

572 God is a Racist

573

Reports are Obama is scrambling to find a replacment for Dr. Tiller who he had planned to name as Neo-natal Czar under the new healthcare plan. Dr Kevorkian has graciously accepted the role of Czar for the Elder Care portion.

 

574

In the meantime, The One is hosting a Hawaiian ho-down this weekend.

And if that asshole has the band play 'Tiny Bubbles' one more time, then Olbermann isn't the only one who'll  be throwing poo around.

575

Unclefacts, Thanks. This is where my prayers are tonite!!!!!

576

And no one ever called me "Tiny Bubbles" to my face.

577 I'm thinking NAMBLA for the pall bearers.

578 Especially Michael.

579

And an injection that might have Bubbles in it.

Tiny bubbles

Make me warm all over

580 #527 A lot of us are fucked up by our parents but we don't end up molesting little boys.

Obviously you were one of them fucked up. I'll give you points for choosing little girls!

581 In other news, anyone thinking of running against the one have been taken out by blackmail. oh the chicago way!! I am not making excuses for their stupidity, but come the fuck on. Two in a week? Who got the emails?

582 What was the better video, "Beat It" or "Eat It"?

583

Boris Badenoff and  I are pissed at you, Bullwinkle.

Shut the fuck up.

584

F#ck you, Ho!

585

Michael Jackson's best song was Weird Al's "Eat It"

586

STFU Bullwinkle.

587 In other news, the Real Housewives of New Jersey are having a warm and huggy moment.  (I wouldn't know, except someone told me, or something.)

588 What do we do to bad moose?

589 Welcome to the moronosphere, Jane, and all the best to your son as he heads to the Island.

590

Hey, Ballwrinkle,

It ain't the Cons offering legal protection to pedophiles. Why would ya'll do such a thing?

591 @582 Weird Al trumps all, except Ray Stevens.

592 I always fucking hated you, Mr.Moose.  O.K., you and Bullwinkle.

593 "Bad" or "Fat"?

594 Tribute song to Michael Jackson

I'm Forever Blowing Bubbles

595 541 #399
I remember the day Moe of The Three Stooges died.


Moe is dead? Take it back or I'll brain ya.

Posted by: TheQuietMan at June 25, 2009 10:06 PM (BE9eW)

I see Moe, I see Moe
Sometimes when I look in the mirror
I see Moe

I'm alone, I'm all alone
but I never see Larry or Curly
I just see Moe

I don't know what's wrong, Moe is dead and gone
but part of him lives on in me

Now I got friend, yeah that's for sure
but Larry and Curly don't come around much anymore

I don't know what's wrong, Moe is dead and gone
but part of him lives on in me

And I see Moe, I see Moe
Sometimes when I look in the mirror
I see Moe

--Guadalcanal Diary

596 First!

597 588 What do we do to bad moose?

Let the fucker stew.

598 Jane D'oh! good for originality!!

599

Did I ever tell you about the time I shoved a lit M-80 up Bullwinkle's ass?

600 Obviously you were one of them fucked up. I'll give you points for choosing little girls!


Posted by: Bullwinkle at June 25, 2009 10:29 PM

B: Hey Michael, watch me pull a rabbit out of my hat

MJ: Bullwinkle, that's not a rabbit and that's not your hat

601 560: Thanks.

602

M no longer shows music videos and now Fox News is just showing music.

What a fucked up world. . . .

603

Michael Jackson is too big to fail.
Therefore, I've directed Treasury Secretary Geithner to extend Michael a 60 billion dollar loan in exchange for a controlling interest in his future recording career.

Now that is a perfect analogy!

604 Is Genghis curled up in the fetal position mourning Farrah? Where's the ONT, I'm so over the Michael Jackson news now.

605 And finally a tribute tonight to Michael Jackson, who loved music and the Little League World Series

606

Ahem, that's

MTV no longer shows music videos and now Fox News is just showing music.

What a fucked up world. . . .

607 Michael is with Tupac now.

So this is what it is like when the world goes full retard.

608 one down 40 million to go.

609 You lose, Bullwinkle. I have all of my friends.

610

Thanks, kbdabear. I needed that. Come to think of it, that's what Michael used to say too.

611 607 Michael is with Tupac now.

So this is what it is like when the world goes full retard.

Hey man, you never go full retard...

612 And with the death of Michael, it's not an issue of black or white, but who now must be seen in shades of gray

613 WTF is it with trolls like Poonwinkle anyway?  I mean, I get going over to Kos or Feministing every once in a while just for laughs and flaming for fifteen minutes or so until they boot you (which is undoubtedly coming for defying the orthodoxy), but what do these fecal-covered scabs get out of coming over here for a plunger raping on such a regular basis?

It's bizarre.  You'd think that if You Won ® you'd be happy in your own little corner of the Intertubes masturbating over Obama with your friends.  But no, even with everything these lice say they want actually in place, they still aren't happy, and for some reason feel compelled to show up in shops where we're all having a good time and pee on the carpet.

What utter losers.  I bet their dogs and parents even hate them.

614

Hi, Magilla. How's it hangin'?

615 Like a big ripe banana, bubbles.

616

Michael's not dyed--he was bleached.

617
I was looking forward to the new show...

Jon & Kate Plus 8...watch Michael Jackson Masturbate

618 But no, even with everything these lice say they want actually in place, they still aren't happy, and for some reason feel compelled to show up in shops where we're all having a good time and pee on the carpet.

Because kostards and other nutroots make themselves miserable in the knowledge that some conservative somewhere is having a good time

619 613, oh they are on my list also, we will not treat illness under obamacare associated with huffing paint, sniffing gas, drinking sterno, or sepsis as a result of small mamals caught in the colon.

620

I'm impressed with how quickly one can turn tragedy into comedy.

It's not wrong to laugh, is it?

621 617 - you owe me a screenwipe

622

Like a big ripe banana, bubbles.

Tell me about it, Magilla.

Jon & Kate Plus 8...watch Michael Jackson Masturbate

Tell me about it, Unicles.

623 OK, I can't take another minute of TV.  Where the hell is Joan and her extensive library of soft porn Facebook links?

624

It's a story. You note it. You do a quick retrospective. You interview some friends. And then you move on.

Unless it can be a useful distraction from The One's uselessness, in which case it can be run instead of that distracting, partisan Iran or North Korea stuff.  And re-run.  And gone into in great depth, because--Ooo, look a celebrity!

625 This about sums up what I expect to hear from some of my friends:

http://tinyurl.com/mpxtec

626 This is my first night off in three weeks - so they better not be pre-empting RED EYE for this shit too.

627

My ass has less hair on it and is just as real as Joan's ass.

 

628

Now don't you guys get the wrong idea.

I didn't hang out with that Neverland cocksucker.  It's just me here in the shed with my kitties.

No Randy 'n' Lahey thing here.

629 #589:  Thanks!   He is a private school grad, and unlike what John Kerry has said, our son made a decision based on his lifelong dream of serving his country.

Trust me, he's our only child, and I'm scared shitless that he will serve under President Prissypants as his CIC.

OOPS!  Sorry to go off topic!   Do I get  a newby excuse card?

630

I'm impressed with how quickly one can turn tragedy into comedy.

Well, like Michael always used to say just like Chuckles the Clown, "A little song, a little dance, a little bubbles down your pants."

631 Let me make that a little easier:

http://tinyurl.com/mpxtec

632 GrayLoess,

Too late. Andy Levy tweeted as much 5 hours ago.

633

Iran, N. Korea, cap and trade, healthcare (which I heard from my husband the glorious one may have chewed his foot on a bit) -- and all I've heard about is El Glove-o croaking.

No offense, I always felt he was a sad, deranged, and tortured soul (kind of like a sad, crying clown, or a mime) and no disrespect to the dead, but he didn't really thrill me when I was a kid (and Thriller was big back then) and I kinda have to stifle a yawn at his passing.  And the whole obsession with kiddies...call me heartless, but I can't seem to get past that.

634

I heard that a fake black manchild who never grew up, lives in a fantasy world, lies a lot and has never been held accountable for his actions died.  And I thought, Obama died?!

635 Excuse me, but do you have any Grey Poupon?

636

is it okay here to goof on someone who just expired? silly me, this place is awesome.

637 Apparently genghis is in mourning, that or PGiS has him tied up again.

638 Contempt and Disrespect. eeeexcellent... I see I've come to the right place.

639 Jackson's third child, Prince Michael Jackson II (also known as Blanket) was born in 2002

Free at last, free at last, free at last!

640 Kind of weird how MJ and BO have much the same fan base. Makes ya wonder.

641 614

 How's it hangin'?

Upside down, four stories up

642 640 Kind of weird how MJ and BO have much the same fan base. Makes ya wonder.

Makes me fucking sick.

643

i wonder, how does one give someone cpr whose nose keeps falling off during the process? just wondering?

644
You think this is bad?

Wait until the funeral. The streets of Los Angeles will be mobbed. The talking heads will be gushing their crocodile tears and reminiscing to us how much of a wonderful humanitarian Wacko Jacko was.

It. Will. Be. A. Circus.

The worst part? The whole world will be watching and every criticism they have about stupid Americans will be right there on full display to prove them right. It will truly be a low point in our nation's history when our news media and millions of our fellow citizens publically mourn the creep, Michael Jackson.

645 638 Contempt and Disrespect. eeeexcellent... I see I've come to the right place. Posted by: Terry at June 25, 2009 10:57 PM

Yes, we should show the respect that the nutroots showed for the death of Charlton Heston on Huffpo and Kos

646 You gotta hold the mouth closed and breathe into the nose hole. Might be why no one was willing.

647 Well my guess is they will run this shit through the weekend, so we dont see the bill they pass tommorow (aka economy destroyer)!!Sorry that is how i see it. I hope I am wrong!!! These people are fucking pathetic!!!

648 Shit, I plan on having a party the day of his funeral. I'm gonna have me an MJ pinata and everything.

It'll be authentic as hell, bits and pieces will just randomly fall off it, to the delight of the children.

649 Can't wait for Obama's comments re: Freakboy.  I effin' guarantee he'll have more compassion for a child molester than the innocent protesters in Iran.

650 Kind of weird how MJ and BO have much the same fan base. Makes ya wonder.

Remember how MJ's handlers bussed in hundreds of supporters to his trial? I've been thinking "ACORN" for hours.

651 i am sure iranians will think that millions of Americans  are taking to the streets to support their protests- WRONG, imagine their shock when they find out its for Michael fucking Jackson - what the fuck is wrong here?

652 The worst part? The whole world will be watching and every criticism they have about stupid Americans will be right there on full display to prove them right. It will truly be a low point in our nation's history when our news media and millions of our fellow citizens publically mourn the creep, Michael Jackson.

Well, perhaps we shouldn't say much, but we bloody well will

653 @643   CPR is easier that way. You just open your mouth wide and make a seal over moth and nose.

654 If Michael  uh would have had er government run health care, uh he would still be here with us.

655 It's easy if you are a moth, and aren't drunk.

656 Michael Jackson dies.
Douchetools like Shep get weepy.
Oh, the faggotry.

657 @629, Jane, "Trust me, he's our only child, and I'm scared shitless that he will serve under President Prissypants as his CIC."

I hear you. My son is at Fort Benning and I worry more about how Bambi will exploit his service than I am about him falling off of twenty foot obstacles (yep. It happened; "but don't worry, I'm not dead." is what he wrote in his letter. Sprained ankle, thank God. Guess he'll make a good paratrooper.)

658
I hope I'm wrong. I hope MJ has a small funeral with family and the whole thing just quietly fades away.

But we all know I'm right and the funeral is going to be a media circus because the media is going to make sure it's a circus...with the help of Latoya, of course.

659

@ 653, are joking? i apparently was not blessed with the snake like ability to unhinge my jaws to open my mouth that wide.

660

It. Will. Be. A. Circus.

I hope no one goes to the funeral dressed as Peter Peanut.

661 BREAKING: My leg. "Ouch"

662 manbla just lost one of their best members

663 I feel an uncontrollable urge to watch the Michael Jackson episode of South Park.

664

I broke my personal embargo of Fox News and tuned in tonight and saw a few moments of the media-whore-mourning from a remote location in Los Angeles (I think Westwood) and I remembered why I stopped watching Fox news.

Thanks Shep!

Thanks Adam Housley!

You two cheapen my world by just being in it.

Seriously, has Fox always sucked this bad or are we now just noticing it? Yeah, I know it's better than MSNBC, but that's a terribly low bar.

665 Waddaya bet the Bambster comments on MJ's death quicker than he did the Iranian election?

666
That might very well be the silver lining in the upcoming funeral-circus, bubbles. You just know there will be California freaks and weirdos coming out to join the fray and get in front of the cameras.

Maybe naked-swollen-testicle-guy will come down from San Francisco.

667 Anyone who cares
Needs to get a fucking life.
Neda's dead too, yo.

668

new cpr guidelines omit the mouth to mouth part

 

 

669 I feel an uncontrollable urge to watch the Michael Jackson episode of South Park.

Posted by: PaleoMedic at June 25, 2009 11:09 PM (yiNoG)

That's just ignorant. I want to play, let's play Blankie.

670 O/T:  Gawker has a purported videotape of Sanford's GF.

671 Uri Gellar said he knew this would happen, he might have warned someone for gosh sakes!!

672 Fuck me.

It's the pedophile getting the press?

What the fucking fuck?

673 His funeral will be fleeting, forgotten in a month....but my sweet Lord, imagine what his mausoleum will be like.

674

i guess i was lucky that i missed fox news tonight, was shep really that faggitty?

675 See you later, folks. I've got to get back to work typing my Shakespeare play list.

676 Posted by: muffy at June 25, 2009 11:11 PM (zplc6)
Saw it. She's hot. I would like to see that mane flying.


OT: "Bruno" sucks balls on the Tonight Show. How bad is that going to be?

677 Will tomorrow's Google logo commemorate Michael Jackson?  Maybe spell out Google using gloves or fake noses or something.

678 I'll pretend to care
About Micheal Jackson's death
When...ummm....well...never.

679 We all love Shep. How dare you?

680 He's fine.  We were playing 'Got Your Nose'.

I won.

681 Michael Jackson was a man amongst boys in bed. He was a pedophile's pedophile, and I mean that sincerely. He could diddle little boys like no other AND get away with it, repeatedly, over decades, and it only cost him some bad publicity and very few of the millions of dollars he made. No other pedophile in the history of pedophilia has been able to moon walk as well as him or sell 750 million of anything. EVER.

He was a rare breed - One of the most successful, wealthy, talented, sad, fucked up people this world has ever produced and that's saying a lot. Wherever he may be now (and I think we all know where that is) at least he's not here amongst us anymore.

682

OK ... wine taking over, and lack of O2 from laughing so hard for the last few hours ...

But can the crazy little porn-lovin' bastard fire off a missile or some shit now?

683 I have nothing to say, just this, The king is dead, long live the king.

684 Am I the only one that watched Anderson Cooper long enough tonight to learn that he first met Michael Jackson at CLUB 54 WHEN HE WAS 10 ?!?!?!?!

10-year-old Anderson Cooper at Club 54 with Michael Jackson. I get it now.

685 Michael was gentle.
He knew how to use his tongue.
I did not need lube.

686 680 He's fine.  We were playing 'Got Your Nose'.

Thanks for posting that while I had a mouth full of cereal.

Which btw, was the drug that killed him. Damned Frosted Mini Wheats got another one. When will the evils for cereal narcotics move congress to do something!

687 When Farrah Fawcett arrived at the pearly gates God asked if she wanted
a wish. She said she just wished that all children were safe, so God
killed Michael Jackson.

688 Celebrity deaths are one of the myriad of reasons why I hate living in LA. Some celeb dies suddenly and traffic is fucked. Damn the reporters and the starstruck idiots who live in this town. Assholes.

689 @684, no fucking way, no wonder  anderson is so familiar with tea bagging.

690 Where is the Overnight Thread?   I've had a busy day today and need a break.

691 Posted by: kbdabear at June 25, 2009 11:01

Yes, we should show the respect that the nutroots showed for the death of Charlton Heston on Huffpo and Kos


Just to be clear..... I really am down with the contempt and disrespect.

692 Amongst the alien Spider-Puppeteer queens, who is more powerful, Oprah or Worf Michelle?

693 @ 687 red

LMAO

694 Speaking of perverts, Justice Thomas was the only Justice to rule that it is OK to search a underage girls underwear for ibuprofen.

you just gotta wonder.....

695

Which btw, was the drug that killed him. Damned Frosted Mini Wheats got another one. When will the evils for cereal narcotics move congress to do something!
I thought Jackson choked to death on 12-year old nuts? Could the NYT  be wrong?

696 Really.  Two people die and the world stops.

It's all in a days work for me.

Show some perspective.

697 Not making it up. He said the explanation for why or how he was in Club 54 when he was 10 "was another story altogether" and "social services might be interested in mom, chuckle".

Well, no shit!

698 686 680 He's fine.  We were playing 'Got Your Nose'.

Thanks for posting that while I had a mouth full of cereal.

Which btw, was the drug that killed him. Damned Frosted Mini Wheats got another one. When will the evils for cereal narcotics move congress to do something!

Posted by: kbdabear

 

Well, be thankful it wasn't Cheerios `cause those ARE a drug ... FDA says so.

699

Why not alaska?  Pick on someone your own damn size. Really.

Oh, wait...we are talking about North Korea.

700 She's the Argentina babe?

Meh.

701 I think this may be the de facto ont.  I think all the bloggers assume someone else is taking care of it or something.

702
Tomorrow is...

the day after a 'sad day'

703 Anybody remember several yrs back when MJ did the halftime show at the Super Bowl and stood there like a damn statue for like 15 minutes while the crowd went nuts?     Wonder if the ER docs said, "Just give him another minute or two ... I saw him do this at the Super Bowl a few years ago ... He'll start singing any minute ..."

704 This thread is already at 700. Can it go to 1000 before an ONT is put up?

705 10-year-old Anderson Cooper at Club 54 with Michael Jackson. I get it now.

Nice job parenting, Ms. Vanderbilt.

Nice job enforcing those liquor laws against minors in nightclubs, NYC.

706 Dudes, on a serious note, this is truly unreal.

Public Shouldn’t Be Kept in the Dark by an Agency Supposedly Committed to Transparency

Washington, D.C., June 26, 2009—The Competitive Enterprise Institute is today making public an internal study on climate science which was suppressed by the Environmental Protection Agency. Internal EPA email messages, released by the CEI earlier in the week, indicate that the report was kept under wraps and its author silenced because of pressure to support the Administration’s agenda of regulating carbon dioxide. 

The report finds that EPA, by adopting the United Nations’ 2007 “Fourth Assessment” report, is relying on outdated research and is ignoring major new developments. Those developments include a continued decline in global temperatures, a new consensus that future hurricanes will not be more frequent or intense, and new findings that water vapor will moderate, rather than exacerbate, temperature. 

New data also indicate that ocean cycles are probably the most important single factor in explaining temperature fluctuations, though solar cycles may play a role as well, and that reliable satellite data undercut the likelihood of endangerment from greenhouse gases. All of this demonstrates EPA should independently analyze the science, rather than just adopt the conclusions of outside organizations. 

The released report is a draft version, prepared under EPA’s unusually short internal review schedule, and thus may contain inaccuracies which were corrected in the final report. 

“While we hoped that EPA would release the final report, we’re tired of waiting for this agency to become transparent, even though its Administrator has been talking transparency since she took office. So we are releasing a draft version of the report ourselves, today,” said CEI General Counsel Sam Kazman.

707 Idiot DJ on the radio saying of MJ:

"We're ALL trying to pull ourselves together and trying to understand what happened"

JHC, do we have any functioning adults talking into broadcast tv or radio microphones today?

And not only do they vote, we encourage them to do so

708 Studio 54?

709 I think this may be the de facto ont.  I think all the bloggers assume someone else is taking care of it or something.

I'll give genghis another 10 minutes or so then put up an emergency stunt ONT.

710 That's right, folks, with ObamaCare, we'll create celebrity job openings at the rate of TWO per day!

711 Geralso and shep saying drugs may have caused him to die, I feel bad now, I should have cared a little more!! Then his fame would not have been so out of control!! Maybe he should have taken a knee. But according to his death, he was better then  Jesus, so what do I know.

712 @ 706

BLASPHEMER! THE SCIENCE IS SETTLED!!!!!ELEVENTY!!!!!111!!!!!

713
I don't know how I'll get over this tragedy.

714
I'm hungry.

715 Anderson Coopers's mom was pimping his ass at the age of 10? No wonder he gravitated to the MSM.

716 Party like it's a couple weeks till nukes!!

717 704 This thread is already at 700. Can it go to 1000 before an ONT is put up?

This thread aint over until Lace Wigs says it's over

718

This thread MUST BE STOPPED

 

this thing will get out of hand- it'll get out of hand and we'll be lucky to live through it

719 I'll give genghis another 10 minutes or so then put up an emergency stunt a Fake Shemp ONT.

FIFY.

Because all blog postings are 100% better with Evil Dead II references.

720 God I'm an idiot.  Yes, Studio 54.

721 Let's talk!

722 @kbear

Lace wigs has only shown up once this whole thread. Is it restraining itself? Or is it mourning MJ?

723 any 'resident evil' fans?

724 Well. Even ESPN's not safe. A Sportscenter story on Michael Jackson, because he played the halftime at Super Bowl XXVII.

725 Can someone help out and get me turning again? These celebrity deaths are a real bitch on my rotation

726 I honestly cannot think of a single celebrity I would shed a tear for if they died. Not a single one. Sure, I'd miss some of them, maybe like Johnny Depp or The Rock (mmmm Dwayne Johnson), but I sure as held wouldn't CRY.

And I say this as a chick.

727 I just figured it out ... Shep is putting together an audition tape for MSNBC!

728 I don't like the fast zombies. They always win.

729 oops, held = hell

Damn, I've been bored at work too long.

730 My goal in life is to be the last irrelevant poster
on the worst thread in the blogosphere.

731 Um, can we get an ONT or any other topic, please?

732 724 Well. Even ESPN's not safe. A Sportscenter story on Michael Jackson, because he played the halftime at Super Bowl XXVII.

AKA the Jackson who didn't flash his tits on national tv at halftime

733

And there's something similar here too, AHFF, from Kate at SDA. (From an Aussie enviro named Plimer.)

Much of what we have read about climate change, [Plimer] argues, is rubbish, especially the computer modeling on which much current scientific opinion is based, which he describes as "primitive."…

The Earth's climate is driven by the receipt and redistribution of solar energy. Despite this crucial relationship, the sun tends to be brushed aside as the most important driver of climate. Calculations on supercomputers are primitive compared with the complex dynamism of the Earth's climate and ignore the crucial relationship between climate and solar energy.

To reduce modern climate change to one variable, CO2, or a small proportion of one variable—human-induced CO2—is not science. To try to predict the future based on just one variable (CO2) in extraordinarily complex natural systems is folly.

734 724 Well. Even ESPN's not safe. A Sportscenter story on Michael Jackson, because he played the halftime at Super Bowl XXVII.

Not to mention Michael's intense interest in Pop Warner football in Reseda

735 I am going to boycott TV all weekend. I have a really short attention span as well as a low tolerance for opportunistic displays of "being part of the national tragedy" phenomenon. People weeping, candles in hand, fervently mouthing the words to whatever inane tune is playing at the vigil. Blech.

Wait. Did that sound cynical? Sorry if it sounds cynical.

736 730 My goal in life is to be the last irrelevant poster
on the worst thread in the blogosphere.
You Win! DING DING DING

737
This could turn hilarious, folks. Think about it; Jacko was crazy. I would not be a bit surprised if he had arranged in his will for an actual circus in lieu of a funeral -- with clowns, elephants, jugglers, Sigfried & Roy, etc.

I would be more surprised to find out if Jackson did not make special, extraordinary funeral arrangements for himself.

738 genghis must be beside himself with grief, too stunned and shocked to type, paralyzed by melancholy, a statue of pain, adrift in a sea of sorrow, raging at the Almighty, swept away by a torrent of tears, or.....

spreading the last bag of lime on the hobo before filling the hole

739 730 My goal in life is to be the last irrelevant poster
on the worst thread in the blogosphere.

Posted by: Derak

 

You're half successful ... Count your blessings your half worked out for ya.

740

genghis must be beside himself with grief, too

Or he just got shit-faced and passed out.

741 Yeah, he was the King of Pop....26 years ago. After Thriller it was all downhill, music-wise, and by the mid 90's he became the freak show that we all know. How relevant was he, in the 2000's, to warrant this kind of overkill coverage? At least John Lennon and Elvis were still performing and making music when they died.


 I'm still pissed at him for hijacking the Beatles catalog, hopefully Paul has enough money left over from his 2nd marriage to buy the shit back.

742 738 genghis must be beside himself with grief, too stunned and shocked to type, paralyzed by melancholy, a statue of pain, adrift in a sea of sorrow, raging at the Almighty, swept away by a torrent of tears, or.....

Or Ace wants to see what Michael Jackson jokes pop up here.  At least before he has to chase everyone out and lock up before we trash the place.

743

"I'm waiting for the "con" side on the important national debate over whether this is sad."

The upcoming, and inevitable, Vegas MJ tributes/reviews should decide this.

Look for tone, then authenticity, sincerity, celebrity impersonators in attendance, etc.

In the event of "no decision", the details of the first celeb sighting of MJ, and said celeb’s status in the celebrity universe and reaction reaction (and whether or not Opra stages an intervention, or merely an interview), as written up in a tabloid, will decide.

744 Thanks, Unicles, now you've given me a case of the munchies. And I'm trying to lose weight.

745 Andycanuck (prolly from Revelstoke....uuh?)  Dammit the earth is FLAT.
FLAT. and the sun revolves around it, kay?

So pay up. We're all gonna die.

Ghengis, cripes. wake up big guy. Onot!

746

Ace died, too.

No new threads.

747 I still can't get over how much sanford's GF could be twins with his wife.  Wow, guys must go for the same type.  Really bizarre, a bizarre day all around.  Rumor has it that Peres Hilton (I won't go to his site, won't give him the click) apparently claimed MJ's death was/is a stunt????

748

Genghis is trying to feather his hair in honor of Farrah. He’s already donned the red leather jacket and glittery glove and has practiced saying “Heeere’s Johnny” until he was hoarse.

749 I can't stop thinking about how different my mood would be this evening if it had been Barney Frank and Maxine Waters who had croaked today.

750

as vice chairman of the lower south carolina "be a man, not a fag" association, i have been given this decree to be released: shep smith will forthwith, be stripped of all man credentials as we have discovered his hairless withered body to be devoid any testosterone. additionally, we have discovered several cher and streisand cd's under the seat of his lavender vw bug. when available, we will remove his diminutive sack. that is all.

751
Ooh, I was just reminded of the guy who did the Jackson 5 act by himself. He built this big costume-contraption that had two dummies on each side of him and he made it look like five people dancing in unison.

Remember that?

752 No, Derak, from the Great Satan--Toronto. (But from the saner west end where we don't allow garbage strikes.)

753

742 738 genghis must be beside himself with grief, too stunned and shocked to type, paralyzed by melancholy, a statue of pain, adrift in a sea of sorrow, raging at the Almighty, swept away by a torrent of tears, or.....

 

Wait ... he hasn't been seen and MJ is dead ... AND Janet ain't been seen!

 

My gawd! How many lives can one man lead??!?

754 Okay the stunt overnight thread is up. Have fun.

755 We pass on our condolences at the loss suffered on the planet earth today, the whole galaxy mourns with you

756 Soros and the Chicago Mob Government know where the real Barry Sotero's body is.

757 I'm confused:  Will Sir Elton John play ANOTHER version of "Candle in the Wind" at Jacko's funeral, given MJ's previous problem with the infamous Pepsi commercial?

758 I don't run my site this way. You need to talk about creationism, get your numbers up.

759 733

And there's something similar here too, AHFF, from Kate at SDA. (From an Aussie enviro named Plimer.)

Much of what we have read about climate change, [Plimer] argues, is rubbish, especially the computer modeling on which much current scientific opinion is based, which he describes as "primitive."…

The Earth's climate is driven by the receipt and redistribution of solar energy. Despite this crucial relationship, the sun tends to be brushed aside as the most important driver of climate. Calculations on supercomputers are primitive compared with the complex dynamism of the Earth's climate and ignore the crucial relationship between climate and solar energy.

To reduce modern climate change to one variable, CO2, or a small proportion of one variable—human-induced CO2—is not science. To try to predict the future based on just one variable (CO2) in extraordinarily complex natural systems is folly.

Posted by: andycanuck at June 25, 2009 11:40 PM (8PGHt)

dude its scary on some MSM blogs - they're all about the "Only 175 dollars per family" and "so maybe sun spots are determinative - but i'll pay 175 a year for as a "insurance policy" against warming - it could killll us allllll"

sickening.  this is the last night of American freedom from the menace of bureaucratized AGW warriors with the power of the State to stop global warming with force.

truly historic.

760 Maxine had a fight with another critter today, that Maxine "keepin it real"

761 Just because it seems that a lot of people here have short memories.

I want you to think back to what jackson and his lawyers did to that family.  How the absolutely destroyed them in the press.  He and his lawyers made them all out to be some gold digging welfare rats trying to make a quick buck off some inoocent philanthropist. 

When in fact the poor boy was just some normal kid that thought it was cool to go to a rich guys house and meet someone famous.

Fuck michael jackson, fuck him in is coke ulcerated nose hole.

762 758 I don't run my site this way. You need to talk about creationism, get your numbers up.

Posted by: Charles Johnson

 

Oh FUCK! The missing link died today, bud! Game over!

763 who died?

764 763 who died?

Posted by: Jones

 

Alice Ghostly ... Dude! Keep up, huh?!

765 How much for Jackson's remains?

766 from politico - a paid obama commenter - scary country this is turning into:

Would you trust the future of the planet to scientists who have spent their lives studying the issue (skeptically studying the issue, at that) or would you trust a few wingnuts ultimately funded by big oil and big coal?

As for me I will pay the $175 and thank God that we finally have elected patriotic Americans who are willing to allow American leadership in renewable energy, instead of the Bush-era deniers, willing to allow the country to lose out in the economic growth of this century to protect the entrenched interests of last century.

The "saving the earth" bit is a bonus! As is ending the flow of billions of dollar/day to the terrorists!

Tom

____________

The deniers furiously fuss, fume and foment while patriotic America is rebuilding the country with renewable, reliable energy that doesn’t pollute this planet nor provide terrorists w/ money and nukes

767 I have orders that a child be slain and buried with me.

Why do you think I always wore just one glove?

768 I demand to be last.  In fact, I insist upon it. LAST. ME. ME.mememe.

There.  My best impression of a troll.

769

It's official ... It was an honor killing.

Bubbles had enough of the whoring around MJ was doing

770

im going outside to dangle my newborn baby off a balcony to celebrate his life

771

im going outside to dangle my newborn baby off a balcony to celebrate his life

I'll bet five bucks it won't bounce.

772 "Joans fake ass pictures"

 You mean someone finally figured that out?
 Imagine that.....

773

I'll bet five bucks it won't bounce.

Ill take that bet. will be posting it on youtube in the morning

774

Another fucking circus in LA ...

Have they finished cleaning up after the Lakers win yet?

775 @746: Ace died, too.
------
Wait? What? Ace was Jeff Goldblum? I guess that explains why we never saw them in the same room together.

776 OK .... MUST Ellen be a Cover Girl spokes person?

777 Ellen who?

778 Stable and dead is good.  There's been far too many celeb zombies lately.  The thought of a zombie Michael Jackson is pretty fucking scary.

779

Why, Ellen the bar maid of course.

http://bit.ly/wFn12

780 Hey, they dragged poor Liz Taylor to the hospital after he died ... Someone tell those folks he didn't actaully hear Liz say 'good bye, you sick knob licker' ...

781

#730-I didn't know you posted at the bicycler's blog. He still lets you?

Muffy, if that is the chick then she is not too hot. Fact is, If you cut her hair all surburban chic( maybe a headband?), put her in a rich preppy chick outfit and waxed her brows, she would look a hell of a lot like Mrs. Sanford. Men run for the same types, don't they?

The "got your nose" post will win you time in hell, whoever wrote it, but was great. It might be the best here, but I still like Soylent Off-White, so jury is still out.

Whoever asked earlier, was Shep extra-special pussified today, then the answer is a resounding oh hell yeah! If there had a bus wreck involving Bette Midler and Cher with Kathy Griffin driving he would have been more freaked, sure, but this was way on up the scale, nonetheless.

782

 Men run for the same types, don't they?

Hey, that's not true. My wife is a brunette, and I only rent red headed hookers.

783 That looks just like Ellen Degeneres.

784

So Death won by a nose, di butler?

785 Fox News better not push off Red Eye for this shitty Michael Jackson shit. Yes, he's dead. He sang songs. It's surprising. And if he really was a pedophile, may the barbed cock of Satan do it's job without mercy.

Now give me my fucking Red Eye with Greg in 30 minutes.

786

784-yup, I think so. I am naming it Thread-winner.

785-no RedEye. Andy twittered it early last nite. I kinda love/hate Twitter, it is ghey, but you find out everything over there and quickly.Also, most of the ppl suck. Treacher is one of the only parts that make it worth it. That and laughing at Meghan McCain's self-involved dumbass tweets. Those rock.

787

Michael Jackson is going to be melted down and turned into Lego's so that little boys can play with him for a change.

788

I was/am not a big Michael fan. I have his Thriller album, only. I loved the Thriller song cause it also had Vincent Price's voice in it.

When I learned that Michael had died, I was surprised and thought it was sad because he was not old....but that was about it.

I have a curiosity to know exactly what took him down.

What caused the heart attack, and what (if any) substances he had in his system.

This is certainly NOT on the same scale as Kennedy being assasinated.

*

789 WTF??  I'm glad to see that the world's problems have all been solved and the only thing left to report is the death of a perverted child molester.  News for the lowest common denominator.

790 Michael Jackson=freak. 

Jacko the Whacko is gone!

791 Fox should just play "man in the mirror" over footage of Iranians getting hacked to death. That way, both of these important, earth shattering stories get the coverage they need.

792 Eh.  I didn't even like Thriller. 

793 I'm devastated.(s). One less obama voter.

794 The HA thread on MJ has almost 1250 comments.

What's wrong with you slacker morons?

On a related note, Geraldo attended MJ's autopsy and discovered Al Capone's treasure.

Breaking News: Shep is off the air and safely home now - Hagen Daz stock rises

I think it's safe to go back to FoxNews now - they are back on to the Sanford scandal with video of the Argentinian bimbo, and _finally_ tearfilled videos of celebs mourning Farrah.

The King is dead - long live the King One!

795 Bring back the old SNL skit........and ferdinand franco's conition is still the same..... dead....

796 "The news "coverage" is pretty fukkin' pathetic. They have no shame. My country has become the home of Braindead and the land of the pop addled. Sickening."

I could only stomach about 1 hour of the Shep & Geraldo "Mourning MJ" Show last night. It's quite repulsive how these news vultures circle the carcass and talk non-stop about meaningless, repetitive gargabe. I swear, if I heard Shep talk one more time about how he was a high school student in '82 during MJ fever, I may have puked. They are such sensationalists. It was sickening.

797 So the guest asked Valerie "what give you hope" in the face of rising unemployment.  She answered him with "you know robert, we talked about this" and then rambled on and said nothing.  But the public trouncing was accomplished.  Would you further challenge her after that?.

798

With MJ gone, that leaves 2 overly-emotional, sorta-black celebrities, whose styles I don't care for.

The one from Minnesota hasn't done anything substantial (only symbolic) since 1999.

The One from Chicago's only useful contribution so far has been a medical infomercial on network TV.

799

The best part was watching Jermaine, The Black Jackson, have to actually say the words; "<em>Ronald Reagan</em> UCLA Medical Center".

He was choking.

800 I'm so sad that he had to leave my me behind.

801 Francisco Franco is still dead.

At least MJ has demonstrated the only way that hypocritical celebrities can actually reduce their carbon footprint.  Algore should hold him high as an example.

802

 I finally went to bed last night, and this morning I'm still dead.

Geez,  its quiet here....

803 He's been dead for weeks, but the Kenyan Teleprompter kept him on ice for a diversion during the Tax and fuck the American taxpayer vote.

804 "It's a story. You note it. You do a quick retrospective. You interview some friends. And then you move on."

Hogwash, Ace. This was one of the two or three biggest entertainers of the 20th century. I wouldn't be entirely surprised if NR and TNR did their biw/weekly covers on it.

805 I am a conservative and I watch Fox everyday.  You people lambasting their coverage and making crude remarks are ridiculous.  They had the best coverage on this, and sorry, I listen to Quinn, Beck, Rush and Hannity everyday so I didn't mind the break for once.  The coverage is appropriate and he was  the biggest entertainer since Elvis and his death was just as trajic and save the crude ass comments regarding him as well because they are pathetic also. 

806 Yeah, Robert, I'm a conservative too and I also crave being told every ten minutes that Michael Jackson is dead and listen to his old hits over and over. I never knew what I was missing! This is great!

FOX should have changed their format to the 'Michael Jackson is dead'  Show years ago, if you ask me. I would have watched every day, all day.

807 Since I did both little boys and girls you could say I was biweekly!

808

I am a conservative little boy and this is not LGF, and you're not in charge Charles Robert.

809
Poor Shep Smith, does anyone else notice how gay men like Shep get all emotional when a famous gay celebrity dies.  Let me clarify, Michael Jackson was a gay, pedophile celebrity but the point is the same.

810

The HA thread on MJ has almost 1250 comments.
What's wrong with you slacker morons?

Until a very concerned Robert showed up, almost everyone here was mocking him. At HA I'm guessing many if not most are defending and/or blowing him. Thus the disparity in numbers of posts.

811 Now that we just about got homophobia and gay marriage put to bed (as it were), next we're gonna make it OK to molest your children with impunity. After all we teach them in school that getting ass fucked is fun!

Actually for me it is, for you not so much....

812 He's fucking dead? How do I know you're not lying to me?

813

In other news, Congress is about to vote on Cap-n-crunch...err trade.  Maybe, and just a thought, folks will turn to important BLOGGERS today to escape the non-news to discuss what's going on with the world situation.  Just sayin.

814 I'm so frustrated with FOX right now.  There is a huge bill on the floor of the House which will affect millions of Americans and FOX is playing over and over again the same thing about Michael Jackson.  People are dying in Iran and we get to hear about MJ.   Thank goodness for BLOGGERS!  And the new stations wonder why their ratings are down?  Maybe because we actually want the NEWS!  Ughhh.....

815

As a Conservative Christian myself, I am apalled by the hypocrisy here. Even Daily Kos and Democratic Underground are more respectful. The behavior of people here makes me seriously consider the benefits of celebrity pedophilia, and for the first time in my life I am going to die of a pointless drug overdose.

816 815: We are giving Jackson exactly as much respect as he deserves.

817 @788 "I was/am not a big Michael fan. I have his Thriller album, only. I loved the Thriller song cause it also had Vincent Price's voice in it."

If you want Vincent Price's voice on an album, get Alice Cooper's _Welcome To My Nightmare_ to hear Vincent's prolonged intro to "The Black Widow." Plus, the album totally kicks _Thriller's_ ass.

818 I would agree with you, Another Conservative Christian, but I think Christians are freaks, so  I cannot agree with you.

819

Michael Savage reacts in 8 short seconds....

http://tinyurl.com/memj6j

820 So now that MJ's no longer with us who's going to keep A-Rod and Elliott Spitzer away from his children? 

821 I've always found it odd that we worship those whose job it is to entertain us.

822 Im sure Im to late to the thread for anyone to catch and enjoy these but:

Michael Jackson hasn’t been this stiff since that time MaCaulay Culkin slept over


Confirmation has just come in that Michael Jackson died of food poisoning - apparantly he ate some 1 year old nuts.....


Madonna has paid her respects to the Jackson family - and asked how much they want for the kids......


Apparently since the death of Michael Jackson his management have cancelled all his upcoming dates. They were Billy, 8, and Thomas, 11.



Reports say that Michael Jackson in fact died of shock after discovering that Boys2Men were a band, not a delivery service


An auction has already started for Michael Jacksons personal belongings with a bidding war erupting between Gary Glitter and The Catholic Church for MJ's little black book


The FBI has raided jackos house and found class A drugs in the kitchen, class b drugs in the living room and class 5c in the bedroom.


Today the Jackson family are in mourning after watching their brother die from heart failure. Apparently CPR isn't as easy as ABC.

strange that Farrah Fawcett and MJ died the same day… one slept with majors, the other slept with minors

They are still no sure how MJ died but apparently they were showing him round a childrens hospital and he had a "stroke"

Mcdonalds tribute is the new mcjackson burger its a its a 50 year old piece of aged albino meat shoved between 8 year old buns.

It is reported that Michael Jackson will not be cremated or buried but instead melted down into Lego pieces, allowing kids to play with him for once.

823 Okay, I admit it. Michael was low-hanging fruit.

824 But think about it-if you had a choice between going after Michael Jackson and Dick Cheney, who would you pick?

825 Since we now know The King of Pop was a Oxycontin addict the press should be condemning him like they did Rush in 4, 3, 2, 1.....hey guys! In 4, 3 ,2, 1....

YO! Hey, Oxycontin addict over here! Condemning in 4, 3, 2, 1...

................................................crickets chirping............

826

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827 MMORPG is now Runescape Gold got maturity chanel watches development Buy Runescape Gold day by Runescape Money day. Most of Runescape the game got similar Buy Runescape Money framework which is Runescape Gold For Sale from scenario design to Runescape Money For Salegame tableau. Nowedays, the designers pay Runescape Power Leveling much attention on chanel j12 watches the culture aspect. vgoldzone

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