FoxNews Now Playing Michael Jackson Videos Without News

Great.

Shep Smith is playing about a minute and a half to two minutes of Michael Jackson videos, without any reportage or over-talk, in between minute-long shots of the crowds at Neverland or wherever.

The only "news" on display during these MTV flashbacks is their chyron and crawl, which simply repeats the news that Michael Jackson's condition remains stable, and dead.

Yes, there are ratings to consider. There is also integrity and newsworthiness to consider. This story is no longer breaking and, for obvious reasons, not likely to take a sudden dramatic turn.

It's a story. You note it. You do a quick retrospective. You interview some friends. And then you move on.

More Pills: Jackson's own spokesman -- well, former spokesman now -- hints pills may in fact have been involved.

Shep Smith is now interviewing a former Jackson attorney who drops the bombshell revelation that Michael Jackson's father was very proud of the Jackson 5.


BREAKING: The attorney reveals that her "heart goes out" to Jackson's fans, whose lives, we are informed, largely turned on what music Michael Jackson was making.


BREAKING: "It's a very sad day." The attorney reveals that it's a sad day especially for his parents.

BREAKING: MUST CREDIT ACE: Former stunt-wife Lisa Marie Presley also says it's very sad.

BREAKING: Snap poll of Jackson confederates interviewed by Shepard Smith reveals that 37% of respondents say this is "sad," 44% are "shocked," and 26% are "stunned."

BREAKING: This is so hugely important even Iranian resisters can talk of nothing else.

BREAKING: Michael Jackson was very "excited" about his upcoming tour, and believed it would return him to his former prominence. Just like his previous much-hyped tours did.

BREAKING: Liz Smith notes that he didn't need to invent "new moves." His fans just loved his old ones.

BREAKING: Liz Smith "goes there:" Outpouring of grief over Michael Jackson's death will rival or exceed that demonstrated after assassination of President John F. Kennedy.

BREAKING: Shep Smith now interviewing former FoxNews anchorbabe Arthel Neville. She reveals she had his posters on his wall when a little girl. She reports "shivers" on her body as she realized he was dead.

BREAKING: "My heart is overcome with sadness." So says former "date" Brooke Shields.

I'm waiting for the "con" side on the important national debate over whether this is sad.

Posted by: Ace at 07:03 PM



Comments

1 First.......to vommit!

Posted by: Ad rem at June 25, 2009 07:05 PM (t3q8+)

2 CNN just compared this to the Anna Nicole situation.

Posted by: muffy at June 25, 2009 07:05 PM (zplc6)

3 Whoa... it's really time for Rupert to give this douche the punt.

Posted by: Dang Straights at June 25, 2009 07:05 PM (QO5YG)

4 Egads, Shepard Smith is a douchebag.

He deserves to be strapped to a rocket and shot into the Sun.

Posted by: Empire of Jeff at June 25, 2009 07:05 PM (xGIqT)

5 You don't get a much more stable condition than DEAD, now do ya?

Posted by: AngelEm at June 25, 2009 07:07 PM (+OJTS)

6 Tapping ...

Yep, the "Give-A-Shit-O-Meter" is busted.

Move on.

Posted by: butch at June 25, 2009 07:08 PM (myCYQ)

7 It's a story. You note it. You do a quick retrospective. You interview some friends. And then you move on.

So who died and made ace "The Almighty News Producer and Director Man"

Posted by: Edward R. Murrow - Dec. at June 25, 2009 07:08 PM (ruzrP)

8 I'm still dead!
I liked Dubai better..............

Posted by: Michael Jackson at June 25, 2009 07:08 PM (5V/kc)

9 OK Shep, you got your point across no give it up and turn it off.

Posted by: rplat at June 25, 2009 07:08 PM (G1ArL)

10 Now Bill O'really! is giving up his time for more information about this child molester's death? Shouldn't Shep be on MSNBC?

Posted by: Haile Tsada at June 25, 2009 07:09 PM (pAvyS)

11

Michael Jackson Dead -- cosmetic surgeons and losers hardest hit

Posted by: Unicle tweets at June 25, 2009 07:09 PM (e46Cb)

12 i don't think it's his call. He's being told to do it.

He's playing the videos, most likely, because there's nothing to report -- a dead man makes no further statements or has any further controversies -- and he's just filling time, as ordered.

Apparently the interest in this is high enough that the internet slowed to a crawl, so they figure as long as MJ is on, even if it's just Billy Jean being played for the bazilionth time, they're attracting some of that non-news audience.

i get that to some extent. But it's time to stop. Do a report and retrospective, if you must, once every half hour for five minutes, but playing Michael Jackson's videos? Almost in full? This goes too far.

Posted by: ace at June 25, 2009 07:10 PM (gEsIJ)

13 Smith is a clown, but it could very well also be his producer calling the shots on this...just sayin'...

Posted by: ECM at June 25, 2009 07:10 PM (q3V+C)

14 Deathcare. Cap Destroy. Deathcare. Cap Destroy

Deathcare. Cap Destroy

Deathcare. Cap Destroy

Deathcare. Cap Destroy

Deathcare. Cap Destroy

Deathcare. Cap Destroy

Deathcare. Cap Destroy

Deathcare. Cap Destroy

Deathcare. Cap Destroy

Deathcare. Cap Destroy

Deathcare. Cap Destroy


.

Posted by: flooflyparisparamus at June 25, 2009 07:10 PM (59Rtb)

15 Maybe Shep will implode. One can only hope.

Posted by: dreamin at June 25, 2009 07:10 PM (ax4Qo)

16 When does the Reverend Al make his statement, I must record it for prosperity. I didn't miss it did I?

Posted by: Javems at June 25, 2009 07:10 PM (/IQA9)

17 so move on already

Posted by: Jones at June 25, 2009 07:10 PM (KOkrW)

18 IN OTHER NEWS, what's the first bill hussein obama threatens to veto? Why, a defense appropriations bill, of course. We can spend trillions on handouts to deadbeats, but we don't need F-22s in the newer, safer obamaland.

http://tinyurl.com/nam5rf


Posted by: Dang Straights at June 25, 2009 07:10 PM (QO5YG)

19 So, young boys are ever so slightly safer tonight. Yay!

Posted by: Gabriel Syme at June 25, 2009 07:10 PM (to4Qu)

20 let's start a petition to fire shep. that'll teach em to leave morons like us unattended without oreilly and hannity.

Posted by: Anti-Harkonnen Freedom Fighter at June 25, 2009 07:11 PM (5r0Tz)

21 This story is no longer breaking and, for obvious reasons, not likely to take a sudden dramatic turn.

Sure, ace, no way this story could suddenly shift.

Posted by: Zombie Michael Jackson turns out to be the Hidden Imam at June 25, 2009 07:11 PM (wU8X9)

22 Boy's pants still half-off....

Posted by: Target at June 25, 2009 07:11 PM (A2uXF)

23 Pass the Jesus juice.

Posted by: Macaulay Culkin at June 25, 2009 07:13 PM (z/8AK)

24 The Jooos won't let me talk to Michael Jackson!

Posted by: Jerry Wright, Reverend at June 25, 2009 07:13 PM (wU8X9)

25 Get some melted butter just in case he turns vengeful.
Lobster Zombie Jackson

Posted by: The Idiot at June 25, 2009 07:13 PM (t/GDA)

26 God help us.

Posted by: Lisa at June 25, 2009 07:13 PM (2MRQo)

27 Um, Ace, I lubz you n all, but haven't you just enabled the disabled by posting another thread about MJ? Just sayin.

Posted by: Cyn at June 25, 2009 07:13 PM (cxzu3)

28 By now Michael Jackson is toast anyways

Posted by: Haile Tsada at June 25, 2009 07:14 PM (pAvyS)

29 As far as I can tell, MJ has so overloaded Twitter, that tweets are 1 hour delayed...revenge of the blogs!

Posted by: flooflyparisparamus at June 25, 2009 07:15 PM (59Rtb)

30 Do you think he had hisnose on when the paramedics arrived? I hate being caught without makeup, let alone my nose. Fox should be talking about the evils of the CAP TRADE scam the House is voting on tomorrow!!!! What a lucky break for the Dems that Jacko kicked it tonight. BO's luck is unbelievable, the slimy illegal bastard.

Posted by: crowtoe at June 25, 2009 07:15 PM (10LS5)

31 Hey, we have some ideas for the funeral.

Posted by: Pepsi Cola Pyrotechnics Crew at June 25, 2009 07:15 PM (wU8X9)

32 Elvis is still alive though.

Posted by: Roy at June 25, 2009 07:16 PM (jwbSX)

33 Vindication.

102
He committed suicide:

According to various sources, Michael Jackson was reported dead at 2:35
PST this afternoon after he went into cardiac arrest after consuming
more than two dozen sleeping pills. He was 50 years old.


Posted by: Anti-Harkonnen Freedom Fighter at June 25, 2009 05:17 PM (5r0Tz)

Posted by: Anti-Harkonnen Freedom Fighter at June 25, 2009 07:16 PM (5r0Tz)

34 26
The Jooos won't let me talk to Michael Jackson!

Freaking hilarious. You never let me down, morons.

Posted by: Dang Straights at June 25, 2009 07:16 PM (QO5YG)

35 Okay as 'they' say it always happens in threes.....
So we now have Jackson, Fawcett, and McMahon......and Jeff Goldblum.
So, obviously we need two more.
Any ideas?

Posted by: christmasghost at June 25, 2009 07:17 PM (aUut1)

36
Is it sad day?

I need to know.

Posted by: Unicle tweets at June 25, 2009 07:18 PM (e46Cb)

37 Good news for Mark Sanford.

Bad news for the Iranian reformists.

Next!

Posted by: poon at June 25, 2009 07:18 PM (i31Zq)

38 I hope god didn't send Cherubs to collect michael jackson's soul. ...

Posted by: Ben at June 25, 2009 07:19 PM (f0I0I)

39 Uri Geller, TV psychic - now that's a guy i want to hear comment.

Fox sucks worse than a drunken Soto

Posted by: Anti-Harkonnen Freedom Fighter at June 25, 2009 07:19 PM (5r0Tz)

40 Yeah. Michael Jackson was the best dad I ever had!

Posted by: The one that got dangled of the balcony at June 25, 2009 07:19 PM (wU8X9)

41 When does the Reverend Al make his statement, I must record it for prosperity. I didn't miss it did I?

Yes, you did miss it. He already made a long statement on camera. Nobody beats the Rev Al to the camera--nobody.

Posted by: stace at June 25, 2009 07:19 PM (g/wgk)

42 I'm thinking that shep smith has been looking a little under the weather lately...or is that just wishful thinking? Because he and a Kennedy would be stellar.....

Posted by: christmasghost at June 25, 2009 07:19 PM (aUut1)

43 Yeah....let's get back to chattin' about meaningful shit...like Obama....and Newt....and Hillary. .

Posted by: jacksen at June 25, 2009 07:19 PM (rsMYr)

44 Great. Now we're going to be treated to pictures of perimenopausal women holding candles and wailing.

Posted by: Ombudsman at June 25, 2009 07:20 PM (fWF4Q)

45 Meanwhile, cardcheck and cap'n trade are rolling merrily along. Although I guess I shouldn't complain too much. Anyone distracted by MJ probably has no idea what those are, and would probably be on the wrong side of the issue anyway.

Posted by: Cautiously Pessimistic at June 25, 2009 07:20 PM (ltwze)

46 Great. With the news consisting of pointless and unwatchable coverage of Michael Jackson's death, all that's going to be left on late night TV is infomercials and... more infomercials.
And it'll probably be worse tomorrow, when it'll still beMJ on the news, and infomercials selling MJ memorabilia.
He's dead. We get it. And for most of us, we don't care all that much. Move on already.

Posted by: Hollowpoint at June 25, 2009 07:21 PM (plsiE)

47
Not for anything, but it's tragedies like this (wink wink) that really bring out the funny at AoS on the main page and in the comments.


Posted by: Unicle tweets at June 25, 2009 07:22 PM (e46Cb)

48 this Uri guys sounds completely fucking insane. Fox is really sopping up warm piss with this interview.

Posted by: Anti-Harkonnen Freedom Fighter at June 25, 2009 07:22 PM (5r0Tz)

49 The attorney reveals that her "heart goes out" to Jackson's fans, whose
lives, we are informed, largely turned on what music Michael Jackson
was making.



Woah. First Jackson and then his attorney? Damn, Michael was jinxed.

Posted by: Herr Blcher at June 25, 2009 07:22 PM (QN4vE)

50 Yes. My plan to kill Michael Jackson worked perfectly.

Posted by: Karl Rove at June 25, 2009 07:22 PM (f0I0I)

51 He would never give me his hand. Yet now, somehow, I miss him so.

Posted by: The other glove at June 25, 2009 07:23 PM (AZGON)

52
Will I get all this praise and attention when I die?


Posted by: Gary Glitter at June 25, 2009 07:24 PM (e46Cb)

53 [bears repeating...]

420 From "Oxfordgirl", a source of information on Iran....I can't believe Jacko death overstretching twitter. Alarmed that we might not be able to organise in a V imp week. #iranelection #iran #gr88Priorities ladies and gentlemen..
Posted by: DrewM. at June 25, 2009 06:37 PM (iTt2X)

Posted by: Cyn at June 25, 2009 07:25 PM (cxzu3)

54 I do not think he changed music at all.

Posted by: NortonPete at June 25, 2009 07:25 PM (fVuwW)

55 Here in Los Angeles, traffic is tied up around UCLA medical center. So, other people with heart attacks will just have to wait while the cretin fans come to stare at a building where a pedophile pop star died.
Anyone remember when a woman with heart trouble was moved from her room in that Santa Barbara hospital during his trial because MJ needed the room to get over his case of anxiety
People's lives at risk today because of traffic tie ups to a hospital and Twitter overloading with "wows I'm so sad !11!!" tweets blocking out "men with hatchets coming in house, good bye"

Posted by: kbdabear at June 25, 2009 07:25 PM (7FgWm)

56 Now, if only a bunch of other celebrities can die and distract the bitter clingers while we pass cap and tax along with socialized medicine, I get to ride the porcelain unicorn.

Sweeeet.

Posted by: Barack, Lord of the Flyswatters at June 25, 2009 07:26 PM (AZGON)

57 LOL they're interviewing Uri Gellar about MJ on Shep. Uri Freaking Gellar. James Randi is probably proud.

A Farrah too? On the heels the first recorded incident of one of the original broadcast networks of our century willingly becoming a propaganda organ of the President?

And North Korea is claiming it's going to nuke the US next week while Iran burns?

And the US government is threatening to nuke the economy on Friday and take over the health care system?
May you live in interesting times.- Ancient Chinese curse

Posted by: Good Lt. at June 25, 2009 07:26 PM (n/M5O)

58 I simply could not care less about Michael Jackson.
I cared in the early 80s when he was a musically talented, young, charismatic black man.

But I was young too so I have that as a defense.

My thoughts and prayers are with... the Iranian people.

Posted by: I'm Not Even Faking It de Blog at June 25, 2009 07:27 PM (1Bods)

59 The one I really pity is Farrah Fawcett. Life took a major dump on her and it was obvious she was hoping for some notoriety when she died. Instead she became page two news.

Posted by: Aaron at June 25, 2009 07:27 PM (Veovo)

60 I will ban the next personwho is not sad.

Posted by: Charles Johnson at June 25, 2009 07:28 PM (5V/kc)

61 the only thing more heartbreaking than fox news, is watching mtv's coverage. when speaking about his past, the only phrase they used is "legal troubles"

the man raped children and i don't mean a guy accused of touching a kid at a mall, or an uncle who inappropriately held a kid. I am talking about a guy who turned his house into a kiddie theme park, had it filled with toys, stuffed animals, and a hidden bedroom within his own bedroom that had a kids sized bed in it. The house fridge was always stocked with jesus juice, and the last kid he touched was suffering from cancer. Honestly the saddest thing about his death today is the fact he did die 20 years ago.
i don't know if i should feel bad for his kids or feel good for them. sure they lost their father, but on the upside they probably aren't getting touched anymore

Posted by: Ben at June 25, 2009 07:28 PM (f0I0I)

62 Speaking of annoying douchebags, Cohen aka Bruno, I think I saw his bare ass on the cover of GQ while I wasin Giant Eagle.
There's another guy who could suffer from cardiac arrest.

Posted by: ErikW at June 25, 2009 07:28 PM (hKtiw)

63 21 let's start a petition to fire shep. that'll teach em to leave morons like us unattended without oreilly and hannity.
Posted by: Anti-Harkonnen Freedom Fighter at June 25, 2009 07:11 PM (5r0Tz)
I personally would feel better about a petition to set Shep on fire. We could use some of that Firestarter hairgel MJ used back in the day. The only problem is then we run the risk of having him look like a Pink Floyd album cover character.

Posted by: Bill H at June 25, 2009 07:28 PM (q8CmE)

64 I'm thinking that shep smith has been looking a little under the weather lately...
Hope for the change

Posted by: scif at June 25, 2009 07:28 PM (sFEp7)

65 fox has become unwatchable.

i'd rather see a Hillary-Soto lesbian porn scene.

Posted by: Anti-Harkonnen Freedom Fighter at June 25, 2009 07:29 PM (5r0Tz)

66 58

Here in Los Angeles, traffic is tied up around UCLA medical center.
So, other people with heart attacks will just have to wait while the
cretin fans come to stare at a building where a pedophile pop star
died.



If a member of my family died in the ambulance because they couldn't get to the hospital because of the MJ fans, you can be damned sure my family member would have many, many slaves in the afterlife.
I'd cut through them in numbers worthy of a Conan novel.

Posted by: Unclefacts at June 25, 2009 07:29 PM (vZVv7)

67 Old SNL video of Norm McDonald riffin' on MJ. Norm never passed up an opportunity to bag on Jacko.



Please post one.

Posted by: 13times at June 25, 2009 07:29 PM (wT6xJ)

68 67
21 let's start a petition to fire shep. that'll teach em to leave morons like us unattended without oreilly and hannity.


Posted by: Anti-Harkonnen Freedom Fighter at June 25, 2009 07:11 PM (5r0Tz)
I personally would feel better about a petition to
set Shep on fire. We could use some of that Firestarter hairgel MJ used
back in the day. The only problem is then we run the risk of having him
look like a Pink Floyd album cover character.

Posted by: Bill H at June 25, 2009 07:28 PM (q8CmE)

oh man, that really cracked me up.

Posted by: Anti-Harkonnen Freedom Fighter at June 25, 2009 07:29 PM (5r0Tz)

69 please die shep.

Posted by: coldwarrior at June 25, 2009 07:29 PM (I3a3V)

70 This woman on Fox actually compared this to the Kennedy assassination. Are you shitting me?

Posted by: Ombudsman at June 25, 2009 07:30 PM (fWF4Q)

71 Cyn @ 29,

This is a story about media fecklessness.

Posted by: I'm Not Even Faking It de Blog at June 25, 2009 07:30 PM (1Bods)

72 Forget to change socks.

Posted by: Nom Schreiber de Blog at June 25, 2009 07:30 PM (1Bods)

73 i'd rather see a Hillary-Soto lesbian porn scene.
The Mental Picture!!!! AAAAAARRRRGGGG. Must.Get.Ice.Pick.Now.

Posted by: Cyn at June 25, 2009 07:31 PM (cxzu3)

74 I'm as upset at his suicide as I was at Hunter S. Thompson's - not at all.

Another boil removed off the ass of humanity.

Fuck 'em.

Posted by: Empire of Jeff at June 25, 2009 07:31 PM (xGIqT)

75 He never could say goodbye
http://tinyurl.com/b5ldc6

Posted by: kbdabear at June 25, 2009 07:31 PM (7FgWm)

76 Ought to be an award given out for the most insipid coverage. Like the continuing shot of the hospital parking lot from a helicopter. GET OVER IT! Move on!

Posted by: GarandFan at June 25, 2009 07:31 PM (C3okI)

77 "The attorney reveals that her "heart goes out" to Jackson's fans, whose
lives, we are informed, largely turned on what music Michael Jackson
was making."

Wow, I feel a whole lot better about my life

Posted by: meth skankliving under an overpass giving BJs for a living at June 25, 2009 07:31 PM (myCYQ)

78 didn't die type o

Posted by: Ben at June 25, 2009 07:31 PM (f0I0I)

79 breaking news....my neighbors dog threw up today.

Posted by: evil libertarian at June 25, 2009 07:31 PM (GSI77)

80 50 Not for anything, but it's tragedies like this (wink wink) that really bring out the funny at AoS on the main page and in the comments.
Posted by: Unicle tweets at June 25, 2009 07:22 PM (e46Cb)
Well, we 're the sort to not let a good tragedy go to waste.

Posted by: Bill H at June 25, 2009 07:31 PM (q8CmE)

81 Now Julie Banderas is having a orgasm about the guy. Wait... pause for mental image..... I be in my bunk

Posted by: Ombudsman at June 25, 2009 07:32 PM (fWF4Q)

82
the only thing more heartbreaking than fox news, is watching mtv's
coverage. when speaking about his past, the only phrase they used is
"legal troubles"

When Edward Kennedy dies they'll refer to his killing of Mary Jo as 'Ted's car trouble'.

Posted by: Unicle tweets at June 25, 2009 07:32 PM (e46Cb)

83 Shep, on Fox, sounds like he lost his sleeping-bag BFF from the CubScouts.But seriously folks, Michael is dead! If this isn't a scream in the night to adoptgummint-run health-care,RIGHT NOW, I sure as hell don't know what is. If Acorn, Jesse and Sharp Al have their way, the King of Pop will lie instate in the Capitol rotunda.......protocol be damned.....and we'll swiftlypass the pending health care bill.....for Teddy...for Michael......fo' HarriettTubman....fo' Rodney King.....fo'......................





Posted by: Trajan at June 25, 2009 07:33 PM (ETd85)

84 Shep is now doing the moon walk while sobbing/screaming like a pre-teen girl. It's very entertaining. I hope they show it again on re-runs.

Posted by: Sparky at June 25, 2009 07:33 PM (J1f2W)

85 Mercy

Posted by: CoG at June 25, 2009 07:33 PM (vdSfT)

86 the most overblown fuckin pap ive ever witnessed. HE WAS A FUCKIN CHILD MOLESTOR GODAMNIT.

Posted by: coldwarrior at June 25, 2009 07:33 PM (I3a3V)

87 "Buckwheat has been shot!
for those just tuning in, lets go to the videotape"

Posted by: av at June 25, 2009 07:34 PM (HR02C)

88 They say celebs die in threes... in the spirit of AOSHQ tastelessness, anyone want to start a death pool?

After all, that's the fate Barry has in mind for us with Obastardcare.

I'd like to nominate Shemp Smith, but he's too young and apparently healthy.

I nominate Henry Waxman. In a fit of wishful thinking.

Posted by: George Orwell at June 25, 2009 07:34 PM (AZGON)

89 Nancy Pelosi was seen running from the Jackson residence screaming 'PALAMINO'...

Posted by: Dysfunctional at June 25, 2009 07:34 PM (FTiH0)

90 Well, on the bright side, i think this episode of Fox oversaturation re MJ hack guests and coverage has created an indisputable consensus:

Shep is a worthless piece of shit who should set himself on fire, pronto.

Or head to MSNBC.

Whichever comes first.

Posted by: Anti-Harkonnen Freedom Fighter at June 25, 2009 07:34 PM (5r0Tz)

91 I don't know whether to be static or ludicris

Posted by: Iron Mike Tyson at June 25, 2009 07:34 PM (vZVv7)

92 Did someone die?

Posted by: Waterhouse at June 25, 2009 07:34 PM (UH6dO)

93 al sharpton is sad. i hope youre all happy. racists bastards.

Posted by: coldwarrior at June 25, 2009 07:35 PM (I3a3V)

94 the world is a little less strange place tonight.

Posted by: JohnTBissell at June 25, 2009 07:35 PM (LgpXT)

95 92

my money's on Obey or Waters. They did exchange blows today.

Posted by: Anti-Harkonnen Freedom Fighter at June 25, 2009 07:35 PM (5r0Tz)

96 I just heard David Hasselhoff died of an alcohol-induced brain cloud. Evidently, he was walking up a staircase ahead of Gary Coleman when fell backwards on Coleman, breaking Coleman's neck and killing him, too.

Posted by: Rumor Monger at June 25, 2009 07:35 PM (hnq5i)

97
It's a sad day.

Right?

Posted by: Unicle tweets at June 25, 2009 07:35 PM (e46Cb)

98 Michael is dead? I've been waitin' ta have a talk with him

Posted by: Elvis at June 25, 2009 07:35 PM (7FgWm)

99 People of Iran,

We are here for you. Michael Jackson has died. Please send donations in lieu of flowers to any of the news organizations working 'round the clock to bring you coverage of this event.

Thank you and you're welcome.

Posted by: The MSM at June 25, 2009 07:36 PM (FcR7P)

100 97
al sharpton is sad. i hope youre all happy. racists bastards.

damned skippy I'm happy. Fuck, someone revive MJ, so we can kill him some more.

Posted by: Unclefacts at June 25, 2009 07:36 PM (vZVv7)

101 "fox has become unwatchable.

i'd rather see a Hillary-Soto lesbian porn scene.


Posted by: Anti-Harkonnen Freedom Fighter at June 25, 2009 07:29 PM (5r0Tz)"

You've been banned.

Posted by: Troll Busters Puking Simultaneously de Blog at June 25, 2009 07:36 PM (1Bods)

102 Shep just let out a really loud sob, maybe scream and began vomiting on top of his desk.

Posted by: Sparky at June 25, 2009 07:36 PM (J1f2W)

103 #92

Ed, Farrah and Jacko.

We have the trifecta.

Posted by: 13times at June 25, 2009 07:36 PM (wT6xJ)

104

BREAKING: Buckwheat is dead, yes, Buckwheat is dead.

Posted by: Rev. Dr. Ted Koppel at June 25, 2009 07:36 PM (CHf6r)

105 Michael Jackson jokes about him sleeping with other peoples molesting children are now for the ages.

Posted by: torabora at June 25, 2009 07:37 PM (QMm96)

106 is it just me that wants to blind shep smith with a hot fire poker and then put paper cuts in the corners of his piehole?

Posted by: coldwarrior at June 25, 2009 07:37 PM (I3a3V)

107 This whole thing jump-starts a vomit. I was over it an hour ago. Please end.

Posted by: Corona at June 25, 2009 07:37 PM (InjUv)

108 108


BREAKING: Buckwheat is dead, yes, Buckwheat is dead.

Wookin pah nub?

Unce, Tice, Fee tines a mady?

Posted by: Unclefacts at June 25, 2009 07:38 PM (vZVv7)

109 This is a story about media fecklessness.
I do get that. I think I'm just feckled-out.
Is it too early for the ONT with talkof the right cheeses to go with Triscuit crackers, Bacon, boobies, man junk and ladybits on statues, sammiches, and upcoming discounts at Victoria's Secret?

Posted by: Cyn at June 25, 2009 07:38 PM (cxzu3)

110
SEVEN 'Breakings' from Ace?! Uhhh, is there something we should know, oh Hairy One? You weren't in the Navy, were ya?






i keed! love the navy, they have a great band

Posted by: Dang Straights at June 25, 2009 07:38 PM (QO5YG)

111 Olbermann only wishes he could throw a dig at the republicans.

Posted by: chris at June 25, 2009 07:38 PM (nYumm)

112 I nominate Henry Waxman. In a fit of wishful thinking.
Posted by: George Orwell at June 25, 2009 07:34 PM (AZGON)
George, I'll see your Waxman, and raise you Maxine Waters and Bernie Sanders.

Posted by: Bill H at June 25, 2009 07:39 PM (q8CmE)

113 105
"fox has become unwatchable.

i'd rather see a Hillary-Soto lesbian porn scene.


Posted by: Anti-Harkonnen Freedom Fighter at June 25, 2009 07:29 PM (5r0Tz)"

You've been banned.


Posted by: Troll Busters Puking Simultaneously de Blog at June 25, 2009 07:36 PM (1Bods)

cmon man its a useful image - if every democratic senator was forced to think Soto and sex at teh same time, she'd get voted down for sure.

i mean, that is one frigid bitch. Hillary is like a sex pussycat comparatively speaking.

Posted by: Anti-Harkonnen Freedom Fighter at June 25, 2009 07:39 PM (5r0Tz)

114 As I said in Cairo, it's very sad when entertainers succumb to the robust debate of heart failure.

Posted by: Barack the Magnificent at June 25, 2009 07:39 PM (UH6dO)

115 Very happy, thanks for asking!

Posted by: Racist Bastard at June 25, 2009 07:39 PM (hKtiw)

116 My brother and I were Beatles fans, but when John Lennon was killed and there was wall to wall Lennon songs, my brother just said "what'll they do when Ringo dies and they have to play the same 3 songs all day"

Posted by: kbdabear at June 25, 2009 07:39 PM (7FgWm)

117 BREAKING: I CEASE TO FUCKING CARE

Posted by: Herr Morgenholz at June 25, 2009 07:40 PM (d8yxu)

118 Please compare the time, footage, and emotion spent upon this dead child molester, and the same expenditures upon Neda Soltani in Iran.

One fucked up, sickass country. We're gonna get what we deserve. Alexis de Tocqueville is shaking his head in the afterlife.

Posted by: George Orwell at June 25, 2009 07:40 PM (AZGON)

119 Now with Jackson self-deading, Byrd and Kennedy are really gonna need their Obamacare, and go on life support for another week. No way those egomaniacs don't want front page when they go.Meanwhile, with the passing of Farrah, some last remnant of my adolescence faded. Sigh.

Posted by: Alear at June 25, 2009 07:40 PM (tmLi3)

120 Seriously, I bet the guy committed suicide. Heart attack? hmm...

Posted by: chris at June 25, 2009 07:41 PM (nYumm)

121 this just in from msnbc, sanford, cheney and palin provided oxy to michael.

Posted by: coldwarrior at June 25, 2009 07:41 PM (I3a3V)

122 BREAKING: Shep Smith now interviewing
former FoxNews anchorbabe Arthel Neville. She reveals she had his
posters on his wall when a little girl. She reports "shivers" on her
body as she realized he was dead.

Well, I have a pearl necklace she can have on her body instead???

breeaking - Shep refers to an "RF Sewer", gets he's not supposed to talk about his cumdumpster mouth.

Posted by: Anti-Harkonnen Freedom Fighter at June 25, 2009 07:42 PM (5r0Tz)

123 125
this just in from msnbc, sanford, cheney and palin provided oxy to michael.

Cheney you magnificent bastard!

Posted by: Unclefacts at June 25, 2009 07:42 PM (vZVv7)

124 I'm still dead!
.....Not much happening here.

Posted by: Michael Jackson at June 25, 2009 07:42 PM (5V/kc)

125
Is it a sad day?

I feel like my heart should be going out to something or someone. Shep, tell me what to do?

Posted by: Unicle tweets at June 25, 2009 07:42 PM (e46Cb)

126 Breaking: Shep told to go get his fucking shinebox. More later.

Posted by: Unclefacts at June 25, 2009 07:43 PM (vZVv7)

127 122
Please compare the time, footage, and emotion spent upon this dead
child molester, and the same expenditures upon Neda Soltani in Iran.





One fucked up, sickass country. We're gonna get what we deserve. Alexis de Tocqueville is shaking his head in the afterlife.

Posted by: George Orwell at June 25, 2009 07:40 PM (AZGON)
Threadwinner, sadly.

Posted by: Anti-Harkonnen Freedom Fighter at June 25, 2009 07:43 PM (5r0Tz)

128
Michael Jackson Dead -- Politician-Philanderers Everywhere Relieved


Posted by: Unicle tweets at June 25, 2009 07:43 PM (e46Cb)

129 What is the exit question?

Posted by: scif at June 25, 2009 07:44 PM (sFEp7)

130 #116
I'll see your Waters and Sanders, and raise you Bawney Fwank and Nancy Lugosi.

I mean, come on. Nancy just has to be charged with embalming fluid, judging from her looks. Every time I see her face, I expect her mask to crack, fall, and see Dr. Phibes underneath.

Posted by: George Orwell at June 25, 2009 07:44 PM (AZGON)

131 like i said, ill be outback burnin the tire pile. come on back when youre sick of this shit. i got a little tennessee white liquor left. it make s the colors purty.

Posted by: coldwarrior at June 25, 2009 07:44 PM (I3a3V)

132 You will be sad!
You will think of nothing else!

Posted by: MSM Douches de Blog at June 25, 2009 07:45 PM (1Bods)

133 Breaking news: General Francisco Franco is still dead.

Posted by: Chevy Chase at June 25, 2009 07:45 PM (pfStM)

134 I was stationed at Fort Knox when Elvis died. All my friends had tickets to the upcoming Louisville concert. Every radio station in KY played "Kentucky Rain" 24/7 for a week. It's only memorable to me because that's when I got my SGTs stripes.

Michael Jackson we put up with because it was wall to wall on MTV and the kid liked him. And there was some stuff you could dance to. But outside of being a freak show, he hasn't done anything worthwhile in decades.

But hat's off for Farrah. Now there was an angel.

Posted by: Ranger at June 25, 2009 07:46 PM (b82rd)

135 Michael's outfits looks like they were made by a ex us soldier who was kicked out of the military for violating don't ask don't tell

Posted by: Ben at June 25, 2009 07:46 PM (f0I0I)

136
True fact: Michael Jackson saved Darfur Tibet.

Posted by: Unicle tweets at June 25, 2009 07:46 PM (e46Cb)

137 I'm here.
What did I miss?

Posted by: Shep Smith-Cooper's Shine Box de Blog at June 25, 2009 07:46 PM (1Bods)

138 Is there a difference between MJ worship and Obama worship?. Compare and contrast the messaniac tendendicies and problematic histories of each.

Posted by: meleager at June 25, 2009 07:46 PM (Mbz0W)

139 Well, this'll fill the otherwise-empty news cycle. Nothing important being voted on tomorrow, right?

Posted by: ABCNNBCBS at June 25, 2009 07:46 PM (UH6dO)

140 is it just me that wants to blind shep smith with a hot fire poker and then put paper cuts in the corners of his piehole?
I just laughed so hard that I peed a little. Pure Hilarity!
And no, you're not the only one who wants to revert Shep to a small boy, roll back time a few years, and then introduce him to Michael.

Posted by: Cyn at June 25, 2009 07:46 PM (cxzu3)

141 woooooohooooo!!! cap and trade! i luvs a dry fuckin.

Posted by: coldwarrior at June 25, 2009 07:47 PM (I3a3V)

142 138

yea i feel really bad for farrah - mj is stealing her media.

Posted by: Anti-Harkonnen Freedom Fighter at June 25, 2009 07:48 PM (5r0Tz)

143 This just in... Michael Jackson is still dead. We will continue to bring youupdates as they occur.

Posted by: Cautiously Pessimistic at June 25, 2009 07:48 PM (ltwze)

144 At least Shep isn't talking about Farrah's anus anymore...

Wrong time for a revolution in Iran, eh?

Posted by: Dysfunctional at June 25, 2009 07:48 PM (FTiH0)

145 I really hope this isn;t goint to turn into some Diana-esque grief session with a people bawling all over the bloody tv and laying a mountain a flowers and teddy bears as they seek "closure"

Posted by: atwood at June 25, 2009 07:48 PM (DCvYe)

146 Close the investigations.

Posted by: LA District Attorneys de Blog at June 25, 2009 07:49 PM (1Bods)

147 I've heard numerous times that Hollywood gets scared shitless when someone important dies. Its that whole:

"They always die in 3's"

Sure as shit

Ed McMahon

Farah Fawcett

Michael Jackson



Posted by: TendStl at June 25, 2009 07:49 PM (wNN6d)

148 I thought I would pee on myself when that asswipe Shep was interviewing Yuri Freakin' Geller, and trying to make him say what kind of stuff he was trying to get Michael to not do that wasn't good. Then when Geller said he did "Unethical Hypnosis" on Jackson, and asked him if he molested that kid, and MJ told him NO! He was completely satisfied beyond a reasonable doubt. Yup, me too, Yuri.
And then this has been compared to Kennedy, Princess Di, John Lennon, Elvis, James Dean and Marilyn. Is that the end of the roll call of the dead too soon stars?
I am thinking about sending nasty notes to Shep. Telling him his panty shield is showing, eyeliner is smudged, you know, passive/aggresive stuff.
Forget about that Crap and Tax bullshite. No RedEye and F and F is coming on early at 5 am to do a "retrospective" of Jackson's life.

Posted by: di butler at June 25, 2009 07:49 PM (tjdui)

149 elton is composing a smarmy lament as we speak.

Posted by: coldwarrior at June 25, 2009 07:50 PM (I3a3V)

150 24/7 MJ songs, and after a few days I'll be sick of them for life

Posted by: kbdabear at June 25, 2009 07:50 PM (7FgWm)

151 Olby just came on theset with Shep. They are in an embrace, sobing and crying in each other's chest. Oh God, they are moon walking together, holding hands, tears streaming down.......

Posted by: Sparky at June 25, 2009 07:50 PM (J1f2W)

152 I mean, come on. Nancy just has to be charged with embalming fluid, judging from her looks. Every time I see her face, I expect her mask to crack, fall, and see Dr. Phibes underneath.
Posted by: George Orwell at June 25, 2009 07:44 PM (AZGON)
Dude, you've forced me into this. I did not want to do this. I'll see your SanFran Nan and Bawney, and raise you a lesbian 3-way with Janet Reno, Hillary!, and that old hag in the White House press pool. Michelle the Gorgon can referee.

Posted by: Bill H at June 25, 2009 07:50 PM (q8CmE)

153 MJ RIP- Good career move, anyway.

Shep will get a Pulitzer for this, mark my words.

Posted by: Bat Chain Puller at June 25, 2009 07:50 PM (AvpZg)

154 I keep waiting for Breaking News: Michael Jackson has risen from the dead to perform "Thriller" for his fans. Ushers in Zombie Apocalypse. More at 11.

Posted by: Brenden at June 25, 2009 07:50 PM (54lqZ)

155
elton is composing a smarmy lament as we speak.

hahaha, let me guess...

something to do with a candle...

and wind?

Posted by: Unicle tweets at June 25, 2009 07:51 PM (e46Cb)

156 I got it when Dale Earnhardt died. We drove to Kannapolis and placed some flowers in his memory. He was a hero.

But Michael Jackson abused children. So I'm lost on this one.

Posted by: Southerners de Blog at June 25, 2009 07:51 PM (1Bods)

157 Fox news showing the reportedly last pic of MJ as posted over at ETonline.
Now, is this the last pic alive, or perhaps more accurately, the FRIST pic dead??!!

Posted by: Cyn at June 25, 2009 07:52 PM (cxzu3)

158 Hey mother fuckers! Im the only black guy that matters!

You know, Health care for all! Cap and save or create!

Fuck these motherfuckers!

Damnit, someone get me a fuckin response ready for TOTUS. This guy is much more important than that warmonger Long that was shot recruiting 5 year olds into this war of choice.

Fuckers

Posted by: Barry Obama (TendStl) at June 25, 2009 07:52 PM (wNN6d)

159 The news "coverage" is pretty fukkin' pathetic. They have no shame. My country has become the home of Braindead and the land of the pop addled. Sickening.

Posted by: maddogg at June 25, 2009 07:52 PM (RL5Dn)

160 NBA Draft coverage is remarkably Michael Jackson-free.

Posted by: Tresjin at June 25, 2009 07:52 PM (l7K0j)

161 Posted by: TendStl at June 25, 2009 07:49 PM (wNN6d)
Hell, that just means everyone in Hollyweird can breathe easier (at least, easier than MJ) for a few months.

Posted by: Bill H at June 25, 2009 07:52 PM (q8CmE)

162 Paul Rodriguez once said "food and Michael Jackson, that's what Ethiopians are talking about"

Posted by: kbdabear at June 25, 2009 07:52 PM (7FgWm)

163 I want to see gay marriage legalized only to witness the spectacle of Shemp Smith tying the knot with Anderson Crouper. For the ceremony, Anderson will be dressed in vintage Gloria Vanderbilt denim and a Chanel sun hat, and Shemp will be dressed as Michael Jackson from the Pepsi wolfman video.

The reception orgy will last seven days and cost 1.5 trillion dollars, creating or saving dozens of catering jobs.

Posted by: George Orwell at June 25, 2009 07:52 PM (AZGON)

164 Will any of those crackerjack reporters ever notice that the kids Michael Jackson supposedly fathered are white, and he's....you know....black?
Maybethey just assume that after all the surgery and skin bleaching his spermaquired caucasian DNAin some sort of sympathetic reaction.

Posted by: AP idea stylist at June 25, 2009 07:53 PM (ecZmv)

165 It wasn't MJ, it was that damned monkey that couldn't stop messing with me

Posted by: Kid whose parents sold out at June 25, 2009 07:53 PM (t/GDA)

166 142
Is there a difference between MJ worship and Obama worship?.
Compare and contrast the messaniac tendendicies and problematic
histories of each.


Michael Jackson had:
1. a job
2. talent
Prez for Life Hussein:
1. never held a real job
2. can read a teleprompter
As for their fan base, well, I certainly can understand why people were followed Jackson. He was a very talented entertainer. Those that follow Obama, well, I don't know what they see in him.
In other words, MJ did have something credible to worship.

Posted by: shibumi at June 25, 2009 07:53 PM (OKZrE)

167 Was hea little bit country ora little bit rock and roll?

Posted by: tito gimme a tissue at June 25, 2009 07:53 PM (eu7/X)

168 113 LOL

124 Suicide angle sure makes sense.

2 Oh Lord, I wonder if the reporting is going to go on as long as the Anna Nicole Smith thing too then? Well, thanks for doing the ugly work of watching CNN so we don't have to.

Posted by: sis at June 25, 2009 07:53 PM (hm0CN)

169 i swear this shit makes me wanna go lonenutish.

Posted by: coldwarrior at June 25, 2009 07:54 PM (I3a3V)

170 169

Will any of those crackerjack reporters ever notice that the kids
Michael Jackson supposedly fathered are white, and he's....you
know....black?

Maybethey just assume that after all the surgery and skin bleaching
his spermaquired caucasian DNAin some sort of sympathetic reaction.



Posted by: AP idea stylist at June 25, 2009 07:53 PM (ecZmv)

now there's some funny shit.

Posted by: Anti-Harkonnen Freedom Fighter at June 25, 2009 07:55 PM (5r0Tz)

171 just kiddin homeland secirity guy

Posted by: coldwarrior at June 25, 2009 07:55 PM (I3a3V)

172 Maybethey just assume that after all the surgery and skin bleaching
his spermaquired caucasian DNAin some sort of sympathetic reaction.

Well maybe Lamarck was right.

Posted by: Mtenloch at June 25, 2009 07:55 PM (SKftV)

173 Even I couldn't get him out of that first child molestation accusation. The kid identified a freckle "down there" and we wrote a $20 million check.

Posted by: Zombie Johnny Cochran de Blog at June 25, 2009 07:56 PM (1Bods)

174 #41 Coke on the keyboard. Thanks for the belly laugh.

Posted by: teri at June 25, 2009 07:56 PM (zZXNL)

175 168
i got a little tennessee white liquor left.

I'm having two fingers' of Jack Daniels Green Label whiskey.

My index finger and little finger.

But two fingers, nonetheless.




Boozeless in ATL here...sigh

Posted by: Anti-Harkonnen Freedom Fighter at June 25, 2009 07:56 PM (5r0Tz)

176
BREAKING -- Talking heads on news outlets declare: Sad Day

Posted by: Unicle tweets at June 25, 2009 07:56 PM (e46Cb)

177 Two popular old white women died today. What a shame.

I know I'm gonna fucking destroyed over this comment......

Posted by: Herr Morgenholz at June 25, 2009 07:57 PM (d8yxu)

178 At the top of his game, MJ was top talent. He just couldn't keep himself in this world for extended periods past 1984(ish).

Now--Farrah's legacy lives on in that poster. For those too young to remember it--that was the original bunk moment. Literally.

P.S.: My newscast in hell has Shep as anchor with a commentary by Fred Barnes. The lead-in is a 200-hour episode of "The View."

P.P.S.: My newcast in heaven has the talking poster of Farrah Fawcett as anchor with commentary by Eric Sevareid. The lead-in is a 200-hour episode of "Hogan's Heroes."

Posted by: Circa (Insert Year Here) at June 25, 2009 07:57 PM (uM+37)

179 If everything comes in threes:
1. Ed McMahon
2. Farrah Fawcett
3. Michael Jackson

1. Jeff Goldblum
2. ?
3. ?

Posted by: BrianO at June 25, 2009 07:57 PM (7Zs42)

180 Breaking News: Al Gore commends Michael on his effort to reduce his personal carbon footprint.

If you this the coverage of his death is going to get ugly - just wait until the circus that surrounds settling his estate.

The low-lifes are going to be coming out of the woodwork.

Will Howard Stern (the lawyer) claim to be the real father of Michael's children?
Where's Zsa Zsa's husband, BTW?

Posted by: Dysfunctional at June 25, 2009 07:57 PM (FTiH0)

181 Shep gives German Shepherds a bad name.
Partial bad name.

Posted by: Who Knows at June 25, 2009 07:57 PM (0aQsc)

182 He peaked my curiosity, if you know what I mean ...

Posted by: President Pantywaist at June 25, 2009 07:57 PM (czm9r)

183 heh, the twitter top trending topics right now are:

1) Farrah Fawcett
2) RIP MJ
and...
3) Jeff Goldblum

Internet rumors are pretty awesome.

(BTW, they rank those in order, right?)

Posted by: dan-O at June 25, 2009 07:58 PM (teb/C)

184 Maybethey just assume that after all the surgery and skin bleaching
his spermaquired caucasian DNAin some sort of sympathetic reaction.
Posted by: AP idea stylist at June 25, 2009 07:53 PM (ecZmv
We stand behind the Clorox brand as we have for the last 75 years.

Posted by: Procter & Gamble at June 25, 2009 07:59 PM (d8yxu)

185 174 i swear this shit makes me wanna go lonenutish.

you'll need a footlocker for all the ammo, and the key to get out on the roof

good hunting!

Posted by: Jones at June 25, 2009 07:59 PM (KOkrW)

186 Dear Mr. Coldwarrior at 174, we are not amused by your contemplations of going "lonenutish". Please grab your toothbrush and answer the knock at your door in 3....2.....1....

Posted by: homeland secirity guy at June 25, 2009 07:59 PM (cxzu3)

187 In hindsight, turning off Fox News the day they hired Geraldo is looking pretty damn smart right about now.

Posted by: John Galt at June 25, 2009 07:59 PM (Ylv1H)

188 I be sad. Michael's dead and he never fixed my mortgage or paid for my gas.

Posted by: richard mcenroe at June 25, 2009 08:00 PM (ALhLC)

189 184: Jeff Goldblum, too? It's the apocalypse!

1. Jeff Goldblum 2. Lindsey Lohan 3. George Lucas

Posted by: Dysfunctional at June 25, 2009 08:00 PM (FTiH0)

190 Wasn't Fox the news channel that always called Jackson "Jacko" and ran a lot of "tsk tsk!" commentary about how weird he was?

Hypocrisy knows no shame.

Posted by: The Chimp at June 25, 2009 08:00 PM (teBup)

191 Now Geraldo is bumping Hannity for this bugger!
Will the orgy never end?!?!?

Posted by: drillanwr at June 25, 2009 08:01 PM (Lpcy6)

192 uhhh


It seems as though two celebrity deaths just isnt enough for some
members of the public. Mischievous types have begun spreading the
rumour that actor Jeff Goldblum fell to his death from a mountain in
New Zealand. Well, dont start mourning The Fly just yet - actor Kevin
Spacey insists that rumours of Jeffs death have been greatly
exaggerated.

Kevin Spacey on Twitter says:



And if you cant trust Kevin Spacey, who can you trust?

Posted by: Anti-Harkonnen Freedom Fighter at June 25, 2009 08:01 PM (5r0Tz)

193 A very cool Stevie Wonder story.

Yeah, he's an Obama guy. Do. Not. Care. He rocks and he did a great thing for a dying kid.

Posted by: DrewM. at June 25, 2009 08:01 PM (iTt2X)

194 why did gov sanford kill him?

Posted by: coldwarrior at June 25, 2009 08:02 PM (I3a3V)

195 Breaking: Boy Scout's sphincters everywhere unclench in relief at the news.

Posted by: Larsen E. Whipsnade at June 25, 2009 08:02 PM (Mt+xC)

196 Can we Cap and Trade Shep?

Posted by: CDR M at June 25, 2009 08:02 PM (cvmTR)

197 BTW, does Fox have the phone lines open for requests?

Posted by: drillanwr at June 25, 2009 08:02 PM (Lpcy6)

198 I'm still dead!
You know, there isn't a lot to do here.....
There's nothing even on TV. All the news is carrying the same stupid story.

Posted by: Michael Jackson at June 25, 2009 08:02 PM (5V/kc)

199 if you are bored. they have that great dmitri martin special on, not the shitty tv show, but the special that is freaking hilarious. check it out

Posted by: Ben at June 25, 2009 08:02 PM (f0I0I)

200 Now Geraldo is bumping Hannity for this bugger!

I'd hit it.

Posted by: Rep. Barney Frank at June 25, 2009 08:03 PM (d8yxu)

201 they had to take shep off the air because.....
BREAKING NEWS: SHEP SMITH DIES OF SADNESS.

Posted by: evil libertarian at June 25, 2009 08:03 PM (GSI77)

202 Goodbye Michael J
Though I never blew you at all
You had the grace to hold yourself
While those around you crawled
They crawled out of their cribs
And they whispered into your pants
They set you on the rollercoaster
And they made you change your noseAnd it seems to me you lived your life
Like a candle in the wind
Never knowing who to cling to
When the rain set in
And I would have liked to have known you
But I wasn't just a kid
Your candle burned out long before
Your legend ever did

Posted by: Elton John at June 25, 2009 08:04 PM (e46Cb)

203 hot searches going on now, updated every 5 min... www.alexa.com/hoturlsand Jeff Goldblum has got to rising right up there on IMDB too

Posted by: Cyn at June 25, 2009 08:04 PM (cxzu3)

204 BREAKING: Michael Jackson's 1201 page will leaked out to press ... they should be going over it with a fine-toothed comb and reporting on it very soon ... I understand we're ALL in it:

http://tinyurl.com/nfwp8v

Posted by: drillanwr at June 25, 2009 08:04 PM (Lpcy6)

205 If you are having a heart attack, have been in a car crash, or have been shot please use anotheremergency roomin Southern California which hasn't been shut down due to financial stress. We have very important matters to attend to here.

Posted by: UCLA Medical Center at June 25, 2009 08:04 PM (7FgWm)

206 It's the Rapture!!

Posted by: Rick Warren at June 25, 2009 08:05 PM (d8yxu)

207 #110 - Cold Warrior - don't forget the lemon juice.

Posted by: meth skankliving under an overpass giving BJs for a living at June 25, 2009 08:05 PM (myCYQ)

208 MJ will be writing a book posthumorously (sic) called The Atrocity of Homo
ghostwritten by either Bill Ayers or BHO. He'll make more money dead than
alive.

Posted by: The Authenticity of Hoop ➃➃ at June 25, 2009 08:05 PM (oIIff)

209 207 - Damn!

I was going for the trifecta, too.

Posted by: Dysfunctional at June 25, 2009 08:05 PM (FTiH0)

210 im numb. just numb. of course ive had a little blow.

Posted by: coldwarrior at June 25, 2009 08:05 PM (I3a3V)

211 wow.

i'd forgotten how truly awful Geraldo is.

Doesnt he have something to fucking do with himself during the week?

do they keep him in a sealed container at Fox studios with a sign on it:
"Break glass only in case of celebrity death"????

Posted by: Anti-Harkonnen Freedom Fighter at June 25, 2009 08:06 PM (5r0Tz)

212 You were 130,001.
So sorry, Michael.

Posted by: jehovah Witnesses at June 25, 2009 08:06 PM (0aQsc)

213 Ok, so tell me ... WHY hasn't Jeff Goldblum come out in public in front of the TV cameras to dispute his death? Huh? We're just supposed to take Hugo-lovin' Kevin Spacehead's word for it?

No way, Josie ...

Posted by: drillanwr at June 25, 2009 08:06 PM (Lpcy6)

214 President Obama has ordered a national holiday for tomorrow. He will conduct a 24 hour non-stop press conference to discuss how water-boarding, global warming and lack of federal healthcare caused this great tragety.

Posted by: White House Press Office at June 25, 2009 08:06 PM (J1f2W)

215 Yeah, 1.5 weeks is about the limit of our attention span now. Sorry, Iran. Has-been celebrity deaths and rumors of celebrity deaths are much more important. Look, Paris Hilton!

Posted by: The ADD Generation at June 25, 2009 08:06 PM (UH6dO)

216 The 52 - they deserve what they get get.

Us 48 - not so much.

Another round of Glenlivet muscle relaxants!

Posted by: meth skankliving under an overpass giving BJs for a living at June 25, 2009 08:06 PM (myCYQ)

217 Get me out of here. I only took this gig because I was in hiding because I owed Brian Dennehy 20 G's.

Posted by: Geraldo's Mustache at June 25, 2009 08:08 PM (f0I0I)

218 Why is no one on this smart military blog following www.troopathon.org? It's a much better use of time and attention than Michael Jackson. He'll still be dead tomorrow...

Posted by: HeatherRadish at June 25, 2009 08:08 PM (YzDEL)

219 "Young man"? I think Jerry Rivers just fought off calling MJ "boy"

Posted by: drillanwr at June 25, 2009 08:08 PM (Lpcy6)

220 This just in:
Michael Jackson is setting the standard for the new ObamaCare!

If you are handicapped or debilitated in any way, take the freakin' handful of pills and STFU.

Its for the Children!!!1!!

Posted by: TXMarko at June 25, 2009 08:08 PM (yueGS)

221 218
You were 130,001.
So sorry, Michael.
Posted by: jehovah Witnesses at June 25, 2009 08:06 PM (0aQsc)
--I thought it was 144,000, not 130,000.

Posted by: Bubbles. Just Bubbles. at June 25, 2009 08:08 PM (tjUml)

222 Will Jackson be interred with honors in the NAMBLA national cemetary? Will he get a prominent place in the front foyar of their museum for children?

Posted by: maddogg at June 25, 2009 08:08 PM (RL5Dn)

223 I died a long time ago, and the damned news doesn't seem to care...

Posted by: Obama's Credibility at June 25, 2009 08:08 PM (teBup)

224 228
Will Jackson be interred with honors in the NAMBLA national cemetary?
Will he get a prominent place in the front foyar of their museum for
children?

Posted by: maddogg at June 25, 2009 08:08 PM (RL5Dn)

oh man...that one got me too...NAMBLA #1 all time member for sure.

Posted by: Anti-Harkonnen Freedom Fighter at June 25, 2009 08:09 PM (5r0Tz)

225 Right, Cable TV operations should eschew ratings and cover Global Warming Bill. What Capitalists you all are.

Posted by: Aaron at June 25, 2009 08:09 PM (5i9U+)

226 If everything comes in threes:
1. Ed McMahon
2. Farrah Fawcett
3. Michael Jackson

1. Jeff Goldblum
2. ?
3. ?

Its a hoax, hes not dead.

Posted by: Barry Obama (TendStl) at June 25, 2009 08:09 PM (wNN6d)

227 Now I'm glad I do not get Fox News. :-(
(Damn sockpuppet!)

Posted by: logprof at June 25, 2009 08:09 PM (tjUml)

228 You were 130,001.
So sorry, Michael.
Posted by: jehovah Witnesses at June 25, 2009 08:06 PM (0aQsc)
--I thought it was 144,000, not 130,000.
Posted by: Bubbles. Just Bubbles.

Damn Obama recession!

Posted by: drillanwr at June 25, 2009 08:10 PM (Lpcy6)

229 Where do I get a refund for my London concert tickets?

Posted by: TXMarko at June 25, 2009 08:10 PM (yueGS)

230 What me? What about ny tits?

Posted by: Farah Fawcett at June 25, 2009 08:11 PM (0aQsc)

231 ok you morons, im out. i gotta go shoot those fuckin possums been dumpin my trash. later.

Posted by: coldwarrior at June 25, 2009 08:11 PM (I3a3V)

232
I'm kinda used to the idea of Jeff Goldblum being dead.

Posted by: Unicle tweets at June 25, 2009 08:11 PM (e46Cb)

233 In Michael's memory, I'm reposting this from another thread
Triumph the insult comic dog at the MJ trial.

Posted by: UCLA Medical Center at June 25, 2009 08:12 PM (7FgWm)

234 217 AHHF
geraldo is the black angel of death....i'm never letting that douchebag near me.

Posted by: evil libertarian at June 25, 2009 08:12 PM (GSI77)

235 Well one person who doesn't mind this is Sanford

Posted by: brak at June 25, 2009 08:12 PM (AN17e)

236 What Capitalists you all are.

Don't worry your pointy little head - that capitalism shit all ends tomorrow.

Posted by: Waterhouse at June 25, 2009 08:12 PM (UH6dO)

237 I fed him some bacon. He has color back in his cheeks.
His nose grew back, too.

Posted by: Elvis at June 25, 2009 08:13 PM (0aQsc)

238 Dammit, Iasked formy diamond earrings back the other day and hadn't gotten them yet!

Posted by: Elizabeth Taylor at June 25, 2009 08:14 PM (cxzu3)

239 Well! I guess Michael Jackson won't be "gettin' jiggy wit' it" anymore!

LOL!

Posted by: Guy Who Confuses Black Pop Stars at June 25, 2009 08:14 PM (gEsIJ)

240 Has anybody heard? Is Ann Couric dead? Or Katie Curry? I wonder who the third one will be.

Posted by: Haile Tsada at June 25, 2009 08:15 PM (pAvyS)

241 This little bag is kinda like my old oxygen tent. Just sayin'.

Posted by: Michael Jackson at June 25, 2009 08:16 PM (d8yxu)

242 I messed with all of you.
Make up your own story and numbers.

Posted by: Jehovah at June 25, 2009 08:16 PM (0aQsc)

243 Here's why I think it's 144,000:
And I beheld: and lo a Lamb stood upon mount Sion, and with him an hundred forty-four thousand, having his name and the name of his Father written on their foreheads. And I heard a voice from heaven, as the noise of many waters and as the voice of great thunder. And the voice which I heard was as the voice of harpers, harping on their harps. And they sung as it were a new -->canticle-->, before the throne and before the four -->living--> creatures and the ancients: and no man could say the -->canticle-->, but those hundred forty-four thousand who were purchased from the earth.
I think the JVs get it from here (Revelation 14: 1-3).

Posted by: logprof at June 25, 2009 08:16 PM (tjUml)

244 Michael who?

Posted by: Lisa Marie Presley at June 25, 2009 08:16 PM (cxzu3)

245 Now they can glue his nose on with super glue

Posted by: jane at June 25, 2009 08:16 PM (NUl2C)

246 Arrah, Michael, we hardly knew ye! This is so sad. The world is saddened. I'm sad. You are sad. We are all sad. It's a sad day. We need a day of national rememberance. June what-ever-this is, the day we were all sad. I mean Neda's death was sort of sad. This day from now on will be Sad Day. Because you know, we are all fucking sad. June Fucking Sad Day.

Posted by: Dick Primate at June 25, 2009 08:16 PM (iVO/E)

247 Chad Ocho Cinco on Twitter just compared MJ's death to 9/11.
Disgusting

Posted by: The Q at June 25, 2009 08:16 PM (pfStM)

248 Local station was playing nonstop Michael, now playing other songs..
hmmm... listeners calling and saying enough?

Posted by: kbdabear at June 25, 2009 08:16 PM (7FgWm)

249 There's Hillary-Sotomayer lesbian porn out there????? !

Where?

Posted by: torabora at June 25, 2009 08:17 PM (QMm96)

250 Did you know that vegetarianism makes you live longer? Uh, without the drugs?

Posted by: Michael Jackson at June 25, 2009 08:17 PM (d8yxu)

251
To repeat: Transformers 2 sucked. If you've seen it and liked it, please let me know 'cuz I want the pleasure of publically calling you a immature nincompoop with awful taste in movies.

That is all.

Posted by: Unicle tweets at June 25, 2009 08:17 PM (e46Cb)

252 I'm kinda used to the idea of Jeff Goldblum being dead.

As I was frantically changing channels trying to find some station not babbling about this 'story', I chanced to overhear some hot but brain-dead bimbo celebretard 'reporter' droning on about how she hasn't even had a chance to 'process' Farrah Fawcett's death, and now this.

The agony of 'processing' the death of someone you in all likelihood hadn't even thought about in years. Fuck me.

Posted by: Waterhouse at June 25, 2009 08:18 PM (UH6dO)

253 By the way, the JVs back in the 30's or 40's had to do a lot of spinnin' when their numbers surpassed 144K.

Posted by: logprof at June 25, 2009 08:18 PM (tjUml)

254 oh FUCK! harvey wientraub has died.

Posted by: coldwarrior at June 25, 2009 08:18 PM (I3a3V)

255 By 'you' I mean the celebretard reporter, not Unicle tweets.

Posted by: Waterhouse at June 25, 2009 08:19 PM (UH6dO)

256
The Q, at least he remembers 9/11. I was afraid everyone had forgotten.

Posted by: Unicle tweets at June 25, 2009 08:19 PM (e46Cb)

257 So ... what did Michael Jackson, David Caradine, Ed McMahon, and Farrah Faucett Majors have to do with each other?

Was a birth certificate involved?

Was a suspicious lebgth of rope found at each scene?

Posted by: Kristopher at June 25, 2009 08:19 PM (Jjzb5)

258 Chad Ocho Cinco on Twitter just compared MJ's death to 9/11.

Is he any relation to Chad Johnson, the screaming fucking pass dropping pussy that plays for the Bengals?

Posted by: Herr Morgenholz at June 25, 2009 08:19 PM (d8yxu)

259 236 What me? What about ny tits?
Posted by: Farah Fawcett

OK, Janet ... Knock that shit off ... This ain't YOUR moment you know.

Posted by: drillanwr at June 25, 2009 08:19 PM (Lpcy6)

260 For fuck's sake (sorry but I need it here) the pizza place I order from is playing Michael Jackson songs when it puts you on hold.

Posted by: ParanoidGirlInSeattle at June 25, 2009 08:19 PM (AJ4xq)

261 249 Man, I won't follow any religion that makes me do math.

Posted by: Dysfunctional at June 25, 2009 08:20 PM (FTiH0)

262 Techno songs like to report deaths about living stars and world leaders too.

There was a popular techno song called "Michael Jackson is in Heaven now" a long time ago around the time of another called "Helmut Kohl (sp?) is Tot" which I guess means dead.

Kinda wonder if any new songs will dispute that location given the private life allegations.

Posted by: sis at June 25, 2009 08:20 PM (hm0CN)

263 Twohundredfortyfour (244)comments at 8:13 pm and you're telling me you don't care a shitt about Jackson. ???

Posted by: Java at June 25, 2009 08:20 PM (wNd3M)

264 257 To repeat: Transformers 2 sucked. If you've seen it and liked it, please let me know 'cuz I want the pleasure of publically calling you a immature nincompoop with awful taste in movies.That is all.
Posted by: Unicle tweets at June 25, 2009 08:17 PM (e46Cb)
--Thanks for the review. You shoulda listened to me; I would have saved you the $$$!

Posted by: logprof at June 25, 2009 08:20 PM (tjUml)

265 uncle tweets. did they mention obama by name in transformers two?

Posted by: Geraldo's Mustache at June 25, 2009 08:21 PM (f0I0I)

266 You humans confuse me.
Where's my beer? I invented it, but I still need a beer run.

Posted by: Jehovah at June 25, 2009 08:21 PM (0aQsc)

267 Logprof:

That is what Jehovah's Waitlist is for.

Posted by: Kristopher at June 25, 2009 08:22 PM (Jjzb5)

268 Shepard Smith gives douche bags a bad name!

Posted by: MCPO Airdale at June 25, 2009 08:22 PM (l51zO)

269 Breaking - Shep Smith is worthless cocksucker and his time slots should be boycotted to get this fucking moron off the air. I HATE that asshole.

Posted by: ken at June 25, 2009 08:22 PM (9zzk+)

270 32 ...Fox should be talking about the evils of the CAP TRADE scam the House is voting on tomorrow!!!! What a lucky break for the Dems that Jacko kicked it tonight. BO's luck is unbelievable, the slimy illegal bastard.
Posted by: crowtoe
Heh, heh, heh, luck had nuttin' to do wit it. Rememba the Illinois daily numba the day after Metro was elected?

Posted by: RushBabe at June 25, 2009 08:22 PM (LKkE8)

271
Did you review it, logprof? I musta missed it. It's cool, though, it was a bootleg copy.

F-You Jack Valenti!!!

Oh wait. Is Jack Valenti dead?

Posted by: Unicle tweets at June 25, 2009 08:22 PM (e46Cb)

272 Michael Jackson, David Caradine, Ed McMahon, and Farrah Faucett Majors

Dude, you're going to mess up the 'celebrities die in threes' fuckwitted numerologists' brains.

Posted by: Waterhouse at June 25, 2009 08:22 PM (UH6dO)

273 who would you rather do, tot mom casey anthony or susan smith in her prime? im leaning toward susan.

Posted by: coldwarrior at June 25, 2009 08:22 PM (I3a3V)

274 Breaking: Boy Scout's sphincters everywhere unclench in relief at the news.
Hey, even as an 11 yr old Tenderfoot, I could still have broken him in half if he touched me

Posted by: Ombudsman at June 25, 2009 08:23 PM (fWF4Q)

275 268 Techno songs like to report deaths about living stars and world leaders too.There was a popular techno song called "Michael Jackson is in Heaven now" a long time ago around the time of another called "Helmut Kohl (sp?) is Tot" which I guess means dead.Kinda wonder if any new songs will dispute that location given the private life allegations.
Posted by: sis at June 25, 2009 08:20 PM (hm0CN)
--sis, I recall a particularly annoying one from my college days with the refrain "James Brown . . . is dead!"

Posted by: logprof at June 25, 2009 08:23 PM (tjUml)

276 I don't think you guys are fully grasping the affect Jackson's death will have on the economy. The payoffchildrape Fund is going to suffer as its biggest contributor is now dead. Also family lawyers, defense lawyers, and creepy people who follow celebrity trials will be out of work or without anything to fill their time.
The company that makes only right handed bedazzled gloves will be out of business by tomorrow.
This is being reported because of the massive impact it will have on this country. Damnit! Now Barack is going to have to create or save even more jobs to prevent a total collapse of california.

Posted by: Ben at June 25, 2009 08:24 PM (f0I0I)

277
did they mention obama by name in transformers two?
Um, well, I don't know because I couldn't watch more than 15 minutes of it.

Okay, so my 'review' isn't really reliable. You'll have to trust my instincts -- the movie sucks.

Posted by: Unicle tweets at June 25, 2009 08:24 PM (e46Cb)

278 No, it's 244 comments about the state of our people when you've got news coverage 24/7 of a washed up pop star pedophile's death, with each trying to say something dramatically more over the top than the others, like comparing this to 9/11

Posted by: kbdabear at June 25, 2009 08:25 PM (7FgWm)

279 I question the timing.

Posted by: CoolCzech at June 25, 2009 08:25 PM (teBup)

280 We are together again.

Posted by: Michael's Nose at June 25, 2009 08:25 PM (0aQsc)

281 278 Did you review it, logprof? I musta missed it. It's cool, though, it was a bootleg copy.F-You Jack Valenti!!!Oh wait. Is Jack Valenti dead?
Posted by: Unicle tweets at June 25, 2009 08:22 PM (e46Cb)
--High-five for not sending any royalties Megan Fox's way. Loopy fucking c**t.

Posted by: logprof at June 25, 2009 08:25 PM (tjUml)

282 Um, this really isn't sarcasm or a sockpuppet but you know, but in reality MJ was like the beatles in popularity, this is as big as if not bigger then Lennon getting killed.
He is one of the world's biggest freaks but the man really was an icon. This is big news and should get serious air time.

Posted by: navycopjoe at June 25, 2009 08:26 PM (JNOXj)

283 Do you all realize what a nightmare it will be if there ever is a major 'man-made disaster' at the Oscars?

CNN, Fox, MSNBC and the rest will become the 24/7 obit channels.

North Korea could strike the US with nukes and no one would notice.

Hey - wait a minute... How close is the Iranian Embassy to the Jackson residence?

Posted by: Dysfunctional at June 25, 2009 08:26 PM (FTiH0)

284 aren't fully shit i am a type o machine

Posted by: Ben at June 25, 2009 08:26 PM (f0I0I)

285 Oh, and how can we be sure it's really Michael Jackson. He committed suicide or he was murdered.

Well according to The Sun UK he died after being given an injection of demerol. So it probably wasn't suicide or murder, just drug carelessness. And maybe an indifference to death.

Posted by: Mtenloch at June 25, 2009 08:26 PM (SKftV)

286 Breaking - Shep Smith is worthless cocksucker and his time slots should be boycotted to get this fucking moron off the air. I HATE that asshole.
Posted by: ken

I thought that went for atleast 20 bucks on the street corner ...

Posted by: drillanwr at June 25, 2009 08:26 PM (Lpcy6)

287 Was Jackson invited to Barry's BBQ? Cause if he was nobody just nobody will be showing up now.

Posted by: TheQuietMan at June 25, 2009 08:26 PM (BE9eW)

288 What??? Michael Jackson is dead???
Why the fuck is no one in the media covering this???

Posted by: beedubya at June 25, 2009 08:26 PM (AnTyA)

289 Coolczech: Exactly! It's a conspiracy I say!

I'll bet Michael died of autoerotic asphyxiation as well.

More investigations need to be made of the other two celebs' deaths, I tell you ....


Posted by: Kristopher at June 25, 2009 08:27 PM (Jjzb5)

290 This is bigger news than D-Day, which we all know was an irrelevant sideshow anyway!

Posted by: T_Dumbass at June 25, 2009 08:27 PM (UH6dO)

291 I was able to stomach about two minutes of the Fox coverage, during which time some brunette chick sayd that everyone loved MJ and that he had touched so many lives.

When I turned it off, I think I heard Shep weeping gently in the background. What the fuck is up with him? I know he's always been orange faced and hysterical, but he seems to have gone over the edge. Was MJ his first celebrity crush or something?

I blame Princess Diana. The celebrity obsessed in this country have always been jealous of the culture of grief her death set off in England, and have been yearning for a similar death here for them to get behind.



Posted by: Scout at June 25, 2009 08:27 PM (7Uoki)

292 FOX NEWS ALERT:
Shep Smith agrees to adopt Michael Jackson's gerbils.

Posted by: Fish at June 25, 2009 08:28 PM (FnA4R)

293 I can't believe the heartless bastards at FNC are interrupting the continuous coverage of Michael Jackson's very sad deathwith commercials!! How could they?!
Btw, I've decided Geraldo is more interesting than Shep because it's amusing (to me, anyway) to watchGeraldo make everything about him.

Posted by: estee at June 25, 2009 08:28 PM (xlYqZ)

294 Michael Jackson, David Caradine, Ed McMahon, and Farrah Faucett MajorsDude, you're going to mess up the 'celebrities die in threes' fuckwitted numerologists' brains.

No, no, when the fourth celebrity dies, you just start a new triplet. So we have two more to go.

Posted by: Mtenloch at June 25, 2009 08:29 PM (SKftV)

295 Don't do it Shep! You don't know where those gerbils have been ....

Oh well ... I guess Shep just wanted to become a real Gerbilist.

Posted by: Kristopher at June 25, 2009 08:29 PM (Jjzb5)

296 A little 'serious' note here ... Betting the LA ME finds cardio damage from years ofeating disorders ...

Man can't live on 'young buck dogs' forever, you know

Posted by: drillanwr at June 25, 2009 08:30 PM (Lpcy6)

297 I blame Princess Diana. The celebrity obsessed in this country have always been jealous of the culture of grief her death set off in England, and have been yearning for a similar death here for them to get behind.
Posted by: Scout at June 25, 2009 08:27 PM (7Uoki)


welcome to America's 'Diana moment'

Posted by: Jones at June 25, 2009 08:30 PM (KOkrW)

298 Geraldo:

(while hitting joint)

"yo...its like....its like he went all reverse Tropic Thunder, maaaan.....i mean instead of white to black....he was like.....black to white yo....."

Posted by: Anti-Harkonnen Freedom Fighter at June 25, 2009 08:30 PM (5r0Tz)

299 Michael's Nose- I hope you will search for Michael's Melanin.

Posted by: The Authenticity of Hoop ➃ mtcmtmail= at June 25, 2009 08:31 PM (oIIff)

300
In light of Mr Jackson's death, we're thinking of marketing and manufacturing a Michael Jackson Children's Thermometer.

It will play this:

Your butt is mineGonna take you rightOh I'm bad, I'm bad, I'm bad...
when the temperature reaches 95 degrees and above.

What do you think?

Posted by: Johnson & Johnson Marketing Division at June 25, 2009 08:31 PM (e46Cb)

301 Unicle Tweets and Logprof

Transformers 2 sucked? That is news I can use.

Their advertising is first class though, you can't go anywhere without targeted ads making it look child and family friendly during entertainment shows women watch, or focusing on the opposite super sexiness to men's mag audiences. I'm in awe of their PR which made me think maybe it'd be good, wonder who's responsible.

Posted by: sis at June 25, 2009 08:31 PM (hm0CN)

302 299 Yeah, but will we ever see them?

Posted by: RushBabe at June 25, 2009 08:32 PM (LKkE8)

303 Geraldo plans on opening Michael Jackson's safe in the mansion to uncover the secrets of his life. I have it on good advise that Geraldo won't find Dick Cheney's cock.

Posted by: Fish at June 25, 2009 08:32 PM (FnA4R)

304 Nobody is looking at the bright side: Elvis is beating the living (or dead) shit out of this little puke for defiling his daughter.

Now some can argue that she was incapable of being defiled - but that state came after the Michael issue.

In any event, Rock on Elvis! And, watch the nose - it will stick to your fist!

Posted by: george at June 25, 2009 08:32 PM (By3BV)

305 Damn. At lunch today, we were talking about Farrah, reminiscing. I made an idle comment about who was going to be number three.

Less than 2 hours later, MJ's dead and a bunch of my co-workers are creeped out.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at June 25, 2009 08:33 PM (oT+Ek)

306 Fixed Nik

Posted by: The Authenticity of Hoop ➃➃ at June 25, 2009 08:33 PM (oIIff)

307 right cheeses to go with Triscuit crackers


Dunk them in salsa con queso. Yummy.

What were we talking about?

Posted by: KelliD at June 25, 2009 08:34 PM (Q9Cny)

308 a bunch of my co-workers are creeped out.
Explain it away as a Rovian plot and nothing more.

Posted by: Fish at June 25, 2009 08:35 PM (FnA4R)

309 312 Damn. At lunch today, we were talking about Farrah, reminiscing. I made an idle comment about who was going to be number three.Less than 2 hours later, MJ's dead and a bunch of my co-workers are creeped out.
Posted by: IllTemperedCur

We were ALL wondering who to blame for this!

Posted by: drillanwr at June 25, 2009 08:35 PM (Lpcy6)

310 I blame Princess Diana. The celebrity obsessed in this country have always been jealous of the culture of grief her death set off in England, and have been yearning for a similar death here for them to get behind.

This is our "Di moment"
It's all about MEEEEE and how Di's death affected MEEEE
It's now about MEEEE and how Michael's death affects MEEEEE

Posted by: kbdabear at June 25, 2009 08:35 PM (7FgWm)

311 I admit, as a child growing up in the late 80s and early 90s, Michael Jacksons music touched me deep down inside. And when I say "music" I mean hand.

Posted by: Ben at June 25, 2009 08:36 PM (f0I0I)

312 Okay, stop it, you guys. Michael Jackson touched a generation...

Posted by: Masturbatin' Pete at June 25, 2009 08:36 PM (sfRWa)

313 BREAKING NEWS: Generalissimo Michael Jackson is still dead.
And Fox is playing MJ videos because Shep is overcome with emotion.

Posted by: tsj017 at June 25, 2009 08:37 PM (TV9JE)

314 beat you to it 319

Posted by: Ben at June 25, 2009 08:38 PM (f0I0I)

315 Michael Jackson has saved or created over 300 postings on AoSHQ.

Posted by: Barry Sotero at June 25, 2009 08:38 PM (QMm96)

316 HEH...anyone need a giggle?? Apparently there was a bitch fight between David Obey and Maxine Waters in the House floor
http://tinyurl.com/meucz6

Posted by: beedubya at June 25, 2009 08:39 PM (AnTyA)

317 How many liberal politicians will attend the funeral? With the exception of the Black Caucus, Brown Caucus, Yellow Caucus, and Faggot/Lesbian Caucus, only two other's will attend.......Obambi and James Brown.

Posted by: Fish at June 25, 2009 08:39 PM (FnA4R)

318 Live coverage of the helicopter carrying the body?

It's like it's a pope or something.

Posted by: Tresjin at June 25, 2009 08:39 PM (l7K0j)

319 Logprof--sis, I recall a particularly annoying one from my college days with the refrain "James Brown . . . is dead!"
Oh really? LOL I totally missed that one. 100% accuracy so far with these songs and rumors eventually, somehow they keep getting proved right in the end.

Posted by: sis at June 25, 2009 08:39 PM (hm0CN)

320
Remember this day (and tomorrow and the next day and so on...) and compare it to the coverage the news outlets give the 40th anniversary of Apollo 11's moon landing on July 20th.


Posted by: Unicle tweets at June 25, 2009 08:39 PM (e46Cb)

321 Goodbye, Jacko Rose...

Posted by: Elton John at June 25, 2009 08:39 PM (teBup)

322 #253 In Bengal Land Chad is known as 85 or, his real legal name according to the NFL is ochocinco. That is how he signed his papers. That is how his name will appear on his jersey. I do not know Spanish. How do you say eightyfive in Spanish?Ocho=8 Cinco=5. That much I know.

Posted by: Mystry at June 25, 2009 08:39 PM (dIHlE)

323 I'm sorry, I think all of this shock and tears over Jackson's death was unwarranted. So he gave some music to the world and was a huge star-- I also believe he was a pedophile. If he was, good riddance.

Posted by: Amy at June 25, 2009 08:39 PM (eGNTq)

324 Look on the bright side. After a week of this bullshit hero worship, we will very rarely ever hear of him again, thank God.
And during that week we'll dust off our old cassette tapes of his better music and play them at least once, to remind ourselves what decent music used to sound like.
And we'll have that long overdue warning talk with our kids aboutfreakyinsane buttfuckers who prey on little kids.
And then the madness will end.

Posted by: Sharkman at June 25, 2009 08:40 PM (OcxlV)

325 We live for these moments.

Posted by: LA Coroners Office at June 25, 2009 08:40 PM (0aQsc)

326 In a statement, one of the brothers - not Tito -made some reference to Allah. So, I'm guessing MJ was still into Islam, not JW. He's probably up there with all those virgins, now. Curled up in a fetal position. . ..

Posted by: estee at June 25, 2009 08:40 PM (xlYqZ)

327 Ummm Barry....Michael Jackson has molested more children than you have.

Posted by: torabora at June 25, 2009 08:40 PM (QMm96)

328 AHFF: "do they keep [Jerry Rivers] in a sealed container at Fox studios with a sign on it: "Break glass only in case of celebrity death"????"

Technically, I think his producers call it "the vault." His peers call it "the Capone." The public calls it "the blessed relief from a blithering douche."

Technically.

Posted by: AnonymousDrivel at June 25, 2009 08:40 PM (rZ235)

329 I am so SAD he is gone. I feel BADLY. I will miss him. He changed MY life. What was I doing when I heard the news of his tragic death? Well, let ME tell you; I was... ... ...

Posted by: MEEEEE at June 25, 2009 08:41 PM (cxzu3)

330 Wz hpn 2nt? MJ b dd?! snp!

Posted by: Ocho Texto at June 25, 2009 08:41 PM (JyfVU)

331 I also believe he was a pedophile. If he was, good riddance.

Every time a pedophile dies an imp gets his wings.

Posted by: Mtenloch at June 25, 2009 08:41 PM (SKftV)

332 116...and the Sanchez sisters from hell....how can you forget them?

Shep Smith is just unraveled because he and MJ planned a coming out party together and Michael chickened out.....
But no worries Shep...I'm sure light in the loafers Barry will stand in as the black "guy" for you...

Posted by: christmasghost at June 25, 2009 08:42 PM (aUut1)

333 Fox News (and the rest of 'em I'm sure) are being treated to the vision of a helicoper with MJ/Its still warm body to the morgue. Jeebus Titty Fucking Christe. Just too much.

Posted by: Cyn at June 25, 2009 08:43 PM (cxzu3)

334 As hard as I'm trying, I'm finding it impossible to give a rusty fuck. After all, child molesters die every day. Get over it already.

Posted by: Evil Red Scandi at June 25, 2009 08:43 PM (erlfI)

335 Dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun doot doot doot doot

Billie Jean is not my lover........

Posted by: eman at June 25, 2009 08:44 PM (fpywm)

336 I'm sure there's a way I can make this all about me.

Posted by: Barack Obama at June 25, 2009 08:44 PM (jNE9Q)

337 Jack OD's Cronkite's in the wings Sanford rejoices ! .....

He - Heeeee !

Posted by: Michelle Obama at June 25, 2009 08:44 PM (Ftcrf)

338 A little 'serious' note here ... Betting the LA ME finds cardio damage from years ofeating disorders ...
And then congress willbegin working on legislationto baneating disorders.

Posted by: estee at June 25, 2009 08:45 PM (xlYqZ)

339 329
i think it is ochentocino

Posted by: Ben at June 25, 2009 08:45 PM (f0I0I)

340 Michael Jackson hung out with more kids that Mr. Rogers. The difference is one was a kindly old man who taught life lessons and the other was a pervert.

Posted by: Fish at June 25, 2009 08:46 PM (FnA4R)

341 Cardiac Arrest? was he clutching a Zac Efron or Jonas Brothers pinup at the time?

Posted by: Plain Troof at June 25, 2009 08:47 PM (g2sw+)

342 Now it's Geraldo on Fox....front and center....his day in the sun...babbling,postulating, kneeling at the Jackson altar. I mean, this is where he shines....hanging like a Puerto Rican/Jewish flag at right angles in a hurricane gust,or shoving his tabloid "inside information"( think O'reilly mumbling, "thatwhy we have you here at Fox") down my throat. If Shep shared hissleeping bag with Michael, Mr. Rivers must have been "touched" by himin a way that's just as scary. Geraldo will have MANY appearanceson Fox in the next few days. I will be using the remote just as inevitably.



Posted by: Trajan at June 25, 2009 08:48 PM (ETd85)

343 I don't think I've laughed this much since the 2000 election resulte.

Thank you, fellow morons.

Posted by: butch at June 25, 2009 08:48 PM (myCYQ)

344 I would like to add that Shep Smith is a douchebag.
Thank you.

Posted by: tangonine at June 25, 2009 08:49 PM (C8Pcc)

345 Rush calls Jerry Rivers "The Grim Reaper." I just happened to be on TMZ when this crap first popped up and thought, hmm, I'll put it on Twitter. Evidently I was one of the first ones. I got all kinds of hate and weird stuff. So I backed off, and left it alone and waited to have to apologise for freaking out weirdos, but it worked out ok. The minute I saw old Shep throw it to Geraldo I knew Rush was vindicated once more and the Angel of Death had done his deal.

Posted by: di butler at June 25, 2009 08:49 PM (tjdui)

346 Michael Jackson invited Howdy Doody over for a spend-the-night, but Buffalo Bob Smith thought it was improper for a grown man to sleep with young children. Buffalo Bob was correct.

Posted by: Fish at June 25, 2009 08:49 PM (FnA4R)

347 Turned Fox off when they started going stupid.

Posted by: Barry da man Obamacan at June 25, 2009 08:49 PM (NLtVk)

348 Jackson was a talented, but deeply troubled guy. Lots of hit songs. We get it.

WTF is wrong w/the MSM?

Posted by: Ocho Texto at June 25, 2009 08:49 PM (JyfVU)

349 You know what? He basically had one huge mega hit album. He did nothing for charity, he didn't help the poor, he was just a mess. Seriously - what is the fuss about? He probably screwed up a bunch of little boys for life. It really is so sick. Let's go back to Iran or healthcare.

Posted by: jane at June 25, 2009 08:49 PM (NUl2C)

350 Evidence indicates Jackson was a pedophile. Decorum dictates here, so I won't dance a celebratory moonwalk, but no tears for dead pedophiles.

Posted by: troyriser at June 25, 2009 08:50 PM (cYYYp)

351 As much of a freak as he became, you could make the case that if Michael Jackson hadn't crossed over to whites so well, Obama would not now be President. Obviously, there are a lot of other factors involved, but Jackson's popularity when I was growing up (early 80's) was massive and that was the first time I remember even the whitest white boy trying to emulate a black man.

Posted by: BS, Inc. at June 25, 2009 08:50 PM (Gogjm)

352 That, Ace, is why I come back, day after day.

Posted by: franklinstein at June 25, 2009 08:50 PM (AZ2ZF)

353 Shep Smith is a moron.

Posted by: mike at June 25, 2009 08:50 PM (9dSAJ)

354 No, no, when the fourth celebrity dies, you just start a new triplet. So we have two more to go.
In that case, there's only one more to go.
Well, at least if you count the death of Shep Smith's dignity.

Posted by: Hollowpoint at June 25, 2009 08:50 PM (plsiE)

355
One less child-molester in the world...

Posted by: thebronze at June 25, 2009 08:51 PM (oMHAH)

356 Geraldo Rivera is absolutely motherfucking unbearable. Literally unwatchable.

Posted by: Ocho Texto at June 25, 2009 08:51 PM (JyfVU)

357 Heaven's cool. Sparkly.
Haven't seen MJ. You sure he's coming?

Posted by: Farrah at June 25, 2009 08:52 PM (dQdrY)

358 Reminds me of an old joke about the Celebrity Loser Vacation:

You fly in with Carol Lombard....

Grace Kelly and James Dean drive you to your hotel....

Dip in the pool with Natalie Wood

Dinner with Mama Cass followed by drinks with William Holden.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at June 25, 2009 08:52 PM (oT+Ek)

359 Eighties kids can see the end of the road now, and it is approaching fast.


"But, I still have my Members Only jacket!"

Posted by: eman at June 25, 2009 08:53 PM (fpywm)

360 We are so fucked up. Iranians being beaten to death, Obama dances, the Congress yams cap and trade and is going fuck up the health care system, jobs going down the drain, Korea wants to nuke us, and is Michael Jackson wall to wall. Shit.

Posted by: mike at June 25, 2009 08:54 PM (9dSAJ)

361
Donna Brazille and other top Democrats can say wonderful things about a pedophile, Michael Jackson.

But if John McCain or any presidential candidate has his photo taken with Jerry Falwell...



Posted by: Unicle tweets at June 25, 2009 08:54 PM (e46Cb)

362 I am a physician. I'm sure Michael's nose fell off during resuscitation. Let's
findit NOW, before the Jackson family auction takes place on E-bay in
the next few months.

Posted by: Trajan at June 25, 2009 08:55 PM (ETd85)

363 Do I need to see that movie "Idiocracy" now? Music videos as "News"? Where's Kurt Loder?

Posted by: blackrockmarauder at June 25, 2009 08:56 PM (GvgvT)

364 I love basketball but have never heard of some of these guys being considered in the draft. Dude from Spain, Sergio Llull -- five letters in his name, four of them l's. I can't go for that, no-o-o, no can do.

Posted by: Ocho Texto at June 25, 2009 08:56 PM (JyfVU)

365 You con(victs) never fail to disappoint me with your utter lack of compassion.

Makes me proud to be a liberal.

Posted by: Bullwinkle at June 25, 2009 08:56 PM (Lsz2a)

366 It's looking more like a suicide, ever since they found one end of a rope tied around Jacko's neck and the other end tied around David Carradine's penis

Posted by: Roy at June 25, 2009 08:57 PM (jwbSX)

367 Check this out. Some skinny middle aged Jewish actor just passed me going 80 miles an hour !

Posted by: A Mountain in New Zealand at June 25, 2009 08:57 PM (3p97v)

368
The same people celebrating the life of Michael Jackson, a pedophile, are constantly shitting on Gov Sarah Palin.

These. People. Sicken. Me.

Posted by: Unicle tweets at June 25, 2009 08:57 PM (e46Cb)

369 My two cats are very nonchalant about this whole thing. When I told them this HISTORIC life altering news, one just sat there and yawned, the other went to the food dish.

Cats are so heartless

Posted by: kbdabear at June 25, 2009 08:57 PM (cGmnP)

370 LACE MOTHERFUCKING WIGS

Posted by: Masturbatin' Pete at June 25, 2009 08:57 PM (sfRWa)

371 The rumor now is that he died of food poisoning from eating 12 year old nuts.

Posted by: Countrysquire at June 25, 2009 08:57 PM (pAaCg)

372 Has anyone checked on Abe Vigoda?

Posted by: sandbagger at June 25, 2009 08:58 PM (jN/tx)

373 Thanks for stealing my thunder, you freak.

Posted by: Farrah Fawcett at June 25, 2009 08:58 PM (oE1S9)

374 logprof@249...and that's why it is so easy to get rid of them when they show up at your door. just tell them you are pretty sure that "heaven" is all filled up already....

207....Goldblum story a hoax...someone should tell wikipedia... that always honest and accurate purveyor of "facts" then......snicker

Posted by: christmasghost at June 25, 2009 08:58 PM (aUut1)

375 You con(victs) never fail to disappoint me with your utter lack of compassion.

Compassion is for losers, pansy.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at June 25, 2009 08:59 PM (oT+Ek)

376 @373 -Bulldildo - Nobody gives a shit what you're proud of.

Posted by: Ocho Texto at June 25, 2009 08:59 PM (JyfVU)

377 Well, my girlfriend told her cat the news of Michael. The cat coughed up a hairball and molded it into the shape of MJ

Posted by: kbdabear at June 25, 2009 09:00 PM (cGmnP)

378 He is survived by his three children, Prince Michael Jackson,
"Blanket," and, um, I don't know his other kid's name. "Spatula,"
maybe. "Soup Tureen." Some other common household item, I'd imagine.

Fucking Classic!

I'm sill waiting on reaction from Corey Feldman

When I think I my Jackson...all I hear is Enter Sandman.


Posted by: Rocks at June 25, 2009 09:00 PM (3RHzM)

379 Gee, if only we had Obamacare, we could have avoided this sad state of affairs...

/sarc

Posted by: cheshirecat@cheshirecat.com at June 25, 2009 09:00 PM (oE1S9)

380 What do Michael Jackson and caviar have in common? They both come on little crackers.

Posted by: Via Shannon at June 25, 2009 09:01 PM (UkL5l)

381 You con(victs) never fail to disappoint me with your utter lack of compassion.

We aim to please.

Posted by: cheshirecat at June 25, 2009 09:01 PM (oE1S9)

382 Putting my "Thriller" record album on ebay ... Some weepy sap (Shep) will buy it

Gonna need some help paying for the first month's increases on utility bills after tomorrow

Posted by: drillanwr at June 25, 2009 09:01 PM (Lpcy6)

383 Michaels' new project will be a benefit album for Zombies called "We are the Dead"...
...

...slated to appear: Frank Sinatra, Jim Morrison, Jimmi Hendrix, Dean Martin, Ricky Nelson, Gus Van Zandt, Ace Frehly...you get the idea.

Posted by: g at June 25, 2009 09:01 PM (FAYNo)

384 Whoa Whoa Whoa...."Well, at least if you count the death of Shep Smith's dignity."
He had dignity????
Come on...how can you joke around on such a sad day.....

Posted by: christmasghost at June 25, 2009 09:01 PM (aUut1)

385 389 You con(victs) never fail to disappoint me with your utter lack of compassion. We aim to please.
Posted by: cheshirecat

The only thing we snipers feel is the recoil of the gun ...

Posted by: drillanwr at June 25, 2009 09:02 PM (Lpcy6)

386 373
You con(victs) never fail to disappoint me with your utter lack of compassion.Makes me proud to be a liberal.

Aren't you supposed to type a teary entry onto your Facebook blog about Michael's meaning to YOUR life, then crawl into a ball and cry yourself to sleep? What kind of liberal are you?

Posted by: kbdabear at June 25, 2009 09:02 PM (cGmnP)

387 381 Thanks for stealing my thunder, you freak.
Posted by: Farrah Fawcett at June 25, 2009 08:58 PM (oE1S9)

You BOTH suck.

Posted by: Ed McMahon at June 25, 2009 09:03 PM (KOkrW)

388 Fuck off Bullwinkle......shouldn't you be off buggering Rocky now

Posted by: Mikey Jackson....rotting in hell at June 25, 2009 09:03 PM (h+amG)

389 Roy: "It's looking more like a suicide, ever since they found one end of a
rope tied around Jacko's neck and the other end tied around David
Carradine's penis"

OK. I giggled at that like I was a little school girl Shep Smith. I'm going to hell for it... but it was worth it.

Posted by: AnonymousDrivel at June 25, 2009 09:03 PM (rZ235)

390
Kinda funny that the day the Supreme court says "Strip Search of Child Illegal", MJ checks out from this earth. Guess he couldn't take the disappointment.

-AC

Posted by: Anonymous Coward at June 25, 2009 09:03 PM (WIdyQ)

391 I remember the day Moe of The Three Stooges died. "Moe Howard died today," said NBC's John Chancellor, the words delivered with a smile. There followed a few sentences recognizing a good man and a long life well lived, a man who brought laughter to millions. He ended by saying how much he would be missed, and that he's in a better place now, and wished him well. End of story. End of newscast. Roll credits.

The MSM once had class.

Posted by: lmg at June 25, 2009 09:03 PM (Qt4Y7)

392 Red on Red fire - "Conservatives" attacking a Fox News anchor.

The circular firing squad continues.

Posted by: poon at June 25, 2009 09:03 PM (i31Zq)

393 388....I officially despise you for that image....ack ack ack

Posted by: christmasghost at June 25, 2009 09:03 PM (aUut1)

394 Oops! Geraldo found Jackson's nose......but will secrete it in a secret vault,to be opened upon his death by Steve Doocy, or, whoever takes Doocy'sposition on the "We Report, You Decide" network.

Posted by: Trajan at June 25, 2009 09:03 PM (ETd85)

395 And now on Fox, without commercial interruption, until we can get Shep out of the control room without harming any of the hostages, "The Wiz"

Posted by: eman at June 25, 2009 09:04 PM (fpywm)

396 393 389 You con(victs) never fail to disappoint me with your utter lack of compassion.
This, from the bunch that would book a tour to spit on Reagan's grave

Posted by: Ed McMahon at June 25, 2009 09:04 PM (KOkrW)

397 i have got to stop with the sokpupets cuz I always fergit to turn em off

Posted by: Jones at June 25, 2009 09:05 PM (KOkrW)

398 Michael Jackson hated being a black person.

Posted by: Kayne West tweats at June 25, 2009 09:06 PM (PasZ5)

399 Hmmm...."circular firing squad"....where's the cracker?

Posted by: poon at June 25, 2009 09:07 PM (GvgvT)

400 341
Fox News (and the rest of 'em I'm sure) are being treated to the vision
of a helicoper with MJ/Its still warm body to the morgue.

NOW can I get in to the emergency room have this bullet yanked out of my liver?

Posted by: Venice drive-by gunshot victim at June 25, 2009 09:07 PM (cGmnP)

401 I heard a report that it wasn't suicide, but that it was food poisioning from eating a 12 year-old penis.

Posted by: Empire of Jeff at June 25, 2009 09:07 PM (xGIqT)

402 Poon misses the tang as usual ... Shep and Jerry aren't why we watch FOX, buttwhiff. Maybe you and Bulldildo should go grab drinks, and pick up T-Dub on the way out.

Posted by: Ocho Texto at June 25, 2009 09:07 PM (JyfVU)

403 I heard a report that it wasn't suicide, but that it was food poisioning from eating a 12 year-old penis.

Everyone knows not to eat 12 year-old penis in months beginning with "J".

Posted by: Mtenloch at June 25, 2009 09:09 PM (SKftV)

404 In real non-news, AP in the Age of Obama still has no shame. Transformers movie may be racist you know.

"Jive Talking Twin Transformers Raise Race Issues"





LOS ANGELES - Harmless comic characters or racist robots?


Posted by: sis at June 25, 2009 09:09 PM (hm0CN)

405 Actually sounded better as Ed McMahon saying it, Jones.

Posted by: The Q at June 25, 2009 09:09 PM (pfStM)

406 400
Red on Red fire - "Conservatives" attacking a Fox News anchor.The circular firing squad continues.

poon, your circle jerk on Kos has NOT been cancelled tonight because of this national tragedy

Posted by: kbdabear at June 25, 2009 09:10 PM (cGmnP)

407
This is the post of the night, seriously? Nothing else is happening out there, NORK, Iran, Waters and Obey having a slapfight, the raping of our healthcare system, defense appropriations threatened with veto, and we get an MJ thread?


Posted by: Dang Straights at June 25, 2009 09:11 PM (QO5YG)

408 Wait'll Bette Midler goes. Shep will openly weep on air.

Posted by: . at June 25, 2009 09:11 PM (bdDEz)

409 poon: "Red on Red fire - 'Conservatives' attacking a Fox News anchor.The circular firing squad continues."

Yo, sugartits. Since when is Shep a "red?" Don't bust your last synapse squaring that circle.

Posted by: AnonymousDrivel at June 25, 2009 09:11 PM (rZ235)

410

So what happened today that's got the media in such a frenzy? Did I stop turning?

Posted by: Earth at June 25, 2009 09:12 PM (cGmnP)

411

Buckwheat dead: America mourns.


Posted by: Rev. Dr. Ted Koppel at June 25, 2009 09:12 PM (CHf6r)

412 You know, I don't care one way or the other for MJ but I know a lot of people who truly do - or at least used to when they were teenagers - I can't begrudge them their night of news. He really was a big deal and cultural phenomena at one point. One last explosion of headlines and news seems like a fitting way to see the King Of Pop.

Flame on - just don't liken me to any fricken lib.


Posted by: E.M. August at June 25, 2009 09:12 PM (yOdoq)

413 Well, how convenient!

Maybe we can use this crisis to pass socialist health care.

Posted by: Rahm it down their throats at June 25, 2009 09:13 PM (/+GDy)

414 #400 poon go away. it's been real nice here all evening without a single sockpuppet to spoil our day.BE GONEI SAY!Come back another day!

Posted by: Mystry at June 25, 2009 09:13 PM (dIHlE)

415

For those of you who have not seen the videotape of Buckwheat being shot, lets take a look.

Posted by: Rev. Dr. Ted Koppel at June 25, 2009 09:13 PM (CHf6r)

416 I've adapted one of my earlier hits for this occasion:

"Don't Let Your Son Go Down on Me"

Posted by: Elton John at June 25, 2009 09:14 PM (n2eCn)

417 Yeah I'm not keen on the nostalgia for a pedophile.

I was playing Plants vs Zombies ... a zombie appeared with a red vinyl jacket and a jerry curl. He struck a pose, lights came on, and four dancer zombies (with 80s-style tank tops and leg warmers) popped out of the ground. I just about died laughing.



Posted by: Cincinnatus at June 25, 2009 09:14 PM (K5AMb)

418 poon, bullwinkle

In memory of Michael, you will be allowed to put the Home Alone DVD into your computer and jerk off to it

Posted by: Axelrod Troll Team at June 25, 2009 09:15 PM (cGmnP)

419 In his last moments, Jackson was heard singing a very strange version of "My Way"

Posted by: eman at June 25, 2009 09:16 PM (fpywm)

420 Shepard Smith has always been jealous of Trent Lott, a former cheerleader at Ole Miss. Shepard tried out of the squad, but was disqualified for not being manly enough, and his insistence on wearing pink panties.

Posted by: Fish at June 25, 2009 09:16 PM (FnA4R)

421

We have just received word that Buckwheat has been shot. Apparently, it
happened just moments ago as the legendary performer was leaving 30
Rockefeller Plaza in New York. He had just finished making an
appearance on "Saturday Night Live", and as he was leaving the
building, he was shot by an unknown assailant, or assailants..
details are sketchy at this point. Now, I understand
that we now have a videotape of the shooting - let's take a look.

Posted by: Rev. Dr. Ted Koppel at June 25, 2009 09:16 PM (CHf6r)

422 Michael once told me that I had the whitest teeth he's ever come across

Posted by: Macauley Culkin at June 25, 2009 09:19 PM (cGmnP)

423 Well I guess that about wraps it up for peter pan huh?

Posted by: Berserker at June 25, 2009 09:20 PM (gWHrG)

424 God (not Obama) has a way of evening out the scales of justice in a profound way. I will shed no tears over this person's passing.

Posted by: MrsPaulsFishSticks at June 25, 2009 09:20 PM (PBGAP)

425 #390-Oh, you obviously didn't watch the Trainwreck Shepster for the first hour and a half of this shizz. He was rolling off deets about Jackson, along with his crystal clear memories with military precision. He has definately got Thriller, and most likely everything else including his old white glove and highwater pants. He was into it. It was f#cking insane. I couldn't look away. Now, Olbermann might not still have his copy, he recently scaled down to live in his million dollar apt in Trump Tower, so some things might have went by the wayside. Tweet him, I am SURE he will get right back to ya.

Posted by: di butler at June 25, 2009 09:21 PM (tjdui)

426 I wonder if my daughters Michael Jackson record player and lunch box have increased in value.

Posted by: toby928 at June 25, 2009 09:21 PM (PD1tk)

427

Obamacare, could it have saved Michael Jackson...

Let's take a look.

Posted by: Rev. Dr. Ted Koppel at June 25, 2009 09:21 PM (CHf6r)

428 Does anyone know how to remove glitter? Hi, PGiS! [waves]

Posted by: Georgia Lass at June 25, 2009 09:21 PM (8PGHt)

429
Man, I'm already tired of hearing about this. Yes, he had a sad life - but he was a FREAK. Can we please move on?

Posted by: jane at June 25, 2009 09:22 PM (gIQ7K)

430 The Fox "The Wiz" Hostage Crisis Marathon continues.

Shep has just now released the female hostages.

Posted by: eman at June 25, 2009 09:22 PM (fpywm)

431 Didn't MJ convert to Islam a few years ago? I think it was the promise of 72 virgins, especially after he'd seen The Vienna Boys Choir on PBS

Posted by: kbdabear at June 25, 2009 09:22 PM (cGmnP)

432 BREAKING NEWS: TARGET STORES DEVASTATED IN THE AFTERMATH OF DEATH OF KING OF POP

PARKING LOTS SAID TO HAVE MANY OPEN SPACES CLOSE TO THE DOOR

CASHIERS STUNNED AND SILENT WITH FEW CUSTOMERS IN LINES

film at 11

Posted by: BurtTC at June 25, 2009 09:23 PM (+88PR)

433 Well, I guess there are somethings beyond even the power of bacon.

Posted by: eman at June 25, 2009 09:23 PM (fpywm)

434 Max Headroom has died, apparently during the analog switch. He had suffered from the Conficker virus.

Posted by: Dead Icon News at June 25, 2009 09:24 PM (n2eCn)

435 For sale on Ebay

One calf's leather glove, no wrinkles, very smooth

Posted by: kbdabear at June 25, 2009 09:25 PM (cGmnP)

436 Da da doot doot doot, another pedophile bites the dust...

Posted by: ray_d_eightor at June 25, 2009 09:25 PM (SG+fr)

437 Greta just said his personal physician was there? Did I hear correctly? Why didn't they just call an ambulance?

Posted by: muffy at June 25, 2009 09:25 PM (zplc6)

438 First, couldn't michael jackson have the decency to die tomorrow and let this be FARRAH FAWCETT'S day?

geesh.

Second, on CNN Larry King Still-Alive show, Celine Dion actually said "I'm watching all these images. Its like JFK..."
THAT'S IT! I switched immediately and thanked God for the invention of the remote control.

Third, I am now watching - in order: Cavuto, Beck, TBS reruns of Seinfeld, O'Reilly (although he's gone mushy too), Hannity, Greta (who's grown some big big testicles and I like it) and then more reruns or some other small cable niche channel until RED EYE on Fox.

Burn Notice is good and had BSG's Caprica 6 on last season and its got BRUCE CAMPBELL!

Shop Smart
Shop S-MART.

Shep is not getting either my cable or my dish network vote, if that's the way they tally things - and dish keeps track of what I watch because of it being connected to the phone line at all times.


Posted by: kay at June 25, 2009 09:25 PM (Tk2NM)

439 Aren't you supposed to type a teary entry onto your Facebook blog about Michael's meaning to YOUR life

I was no fan of Michael Jackson but he was really fucked up by his father and I feel sorry for him.

Posted by: Bullwinkle at June 25, 2009 09:25 PM (Lsz2a)

440 Brooke Shields' gynecologist announced today that they found the other glove.

Posted by: This One Has Whisker on it at June 25, 2009 09:27 PM (n2eCn)

441 I'm watching the Home Shopping Network. At least their not selling any Michael Jackson mementos.

Posted by: GarandFan at June 25, 2009 09:28 PM (C3okI)

442 Q: How do you neuter Michael Jackson?

A: Give him spiked gloves and tell him to sing a song!

Posted by: redrock at June 25, 2009 09:28 PM (ZRr96)

443 " Breaking: Boy Scout's sphincters everywhere unclench in relief at the news."

YES!!!

Posted by: barney frank at June 25, 2009 09:28 PM (ALhLC)

444 Was he wearing a burqa at the time?

Posted by: andycanuck at June 25, 2009 09:29 PM (8PGHt)

445 I have a question. Why does Fox let CNN mornings advertise on their network?
Another one-who is the old black guy that Greta is interviewing? He is a comedian? And a "family friend?" He is telling some weird stuff, or rather regular Michael stuff, I guess. Dick Gregory? Who?

Posted by: di butler at June 25, 2009 09:29 PM (tjdui)

446 I question the timing. Just one day after the messiah laid out his healthcare plan and Farrah and Michael both die! John Edwardsto channels both,proclaim they will rise from the dead as soon as obamacare passes.

Posted by: newsjunkie_ky at June 25, 2009 09:29 PM (7E+oD)

447 388 - Use your own for that shit, ricky/Trout.

Posted by: Shannon at June 25, 2009 09:29 PM (v4qA1)

448 MJ's Dad does have some 'splainin' to do.

Posted by: eman at June 25, 2009 09:30 PM (fpywm)

449 I guess I'd better get knocked up, give birth in the middle of the dance floor after 25 whiskey sours, and have one of my fans retrieve the infant from the ladies room sink. After all, it'll be important news and I'll be forgiven because it's ALL about the music.

I want to go out like Marilyn did. Is it true she pooped in her negligee when she died?

Posted by: Britney Spears at June 25, 2009 09:30 PM (cGmnP)

450 We are all about Jacksoned out.. Lets talk anything else. All this glitter in the air is starting to make my eyes burn. I think I just tripped on something on the ground.. Damn glove. Where did that come from!

Posted by: Mystry at June 25, 2009 09:30 PM (dIHlE)

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Posted by: royalmewigs at June 25, 2009 09:31 PM (q1bxb)

452 Thankfully, at last, the fucking wig ad.

Posted by: Fish at June 25, 2009 09:31 PM (FnA4R)

453 Hey, anyone get sooo sick of Shep earlier they switched over to see if Olbermann was crying and blaming this on Bush/Cheney?

Posted by: drillanwr at June 25, 2009 09:31 PM (Lpcy6)

454 Yes, we have no bananas.

Posted by: bubbles at June 25, 2009 09:32 PM (8PGHt)

455 I'm watching the Home Shopping Network. At least their not selling any Michael Jackson mementos.
Give it a day. Two, tops.

Posted by: Hollowpoint at June 25, 2009 09:32 PM (plsiE)

456 Anyone seen Janet Jackson today?

Posted by: Jonathon E. at June 25, 2009 09:33 PM (dQdrY)

457 MJ's best momento will be his merkin.

Posted by: Fish at June 25, 2009 09:33 PM (FnA4R)

458 The good news is that this takes Sanford off the front burner.

The bad news is that it takes Iran, cap-and-trade, and who knows what off the front burner, too. And Shep never mentioned he was a pedophile. If he did, I missed it.

Did you ever think about what Bushmills does to your your typing skills? Just consider before you try to comment.

Posted by: Scott at June 25, 2009 09:33 PM (f3TRn)

459 Dick Gregory, seems like a fascinating man.

Posted by: muffy at June 25, 2009 09:34 PM (zplc6)

460
Wait and see the nasty comments by the same Michael Jackson worshipers when Bill Graham dies.

Posted by: Unicle tweets at June 25, 2009 09:34 PM (e46Cb)

461 I know 4 teenagers who lost a parent in the last year to accidents and disease. I have no time to consider what the death of Michael Jackson means to America. I will watch no coverage. I will post no more comments on the subject. Not that anyone cares, nor should they.

Posted by: John F Not Kerry at June 25, 2009 09:37 PM (HF2US)

462 So I hear the pallbearers are going to be 8 chimps?

Posted by: CoolCzech at June 25, 2009 09:37 PM (teBup)

463 "373 You con(victs) never fail to disappoint me with your utter lack of compassion.Makes me proud to be a liberal."
Yes, n how many deaths will it take till he knowsThat too many people have died?

Posted by: Javems at June 25, 2009 09:37 PM (/IQA9)

464

To repeat: Buckwheat has been shot. He's now in emergency surgery, and all we Americans can do is wait and worry.


Posted by: Rev. Dr. Ted Koppel at June 25, 2009 09:38 PM (CHf6r)

465 That lace wig ad guy has impeccable timing. Really knows how to break up a tense thread.

Posted by: BS, Inc. at June 25, 2009 09:38 PM (Gogjm)

466 just wait until the alien bursts out during the autopsy and melts through the table.

that'll really make some media waves.

Posted by: AES at June 25, 2009 09:38 PM (dkcp2)

467 Coming out of lurking just to say: have any of you frikkin' morons ever considered the idea that Rahm was behind this?!11?! MJ dies, the media is all over it 24/7, and Cap and Trade slides thru like crap outta a goose. Chicago, dudes.

Posted by: Jane D'oh! at June 25, 2009 09:38 PM (UOM48)

468 I love the shot of the Apollo theater. There's whole 200 people there. They have to frame it just right just to fill the frame with people.

Posted by: Rocks at June 25, 2009 09:39 PM (3RHzM)

469 Who wants a hand job?

Posted by: Michelle Obama at June 25, 2009 09:39 PM (zzd8k)

470 373
You con(victs) never fail to disappoint me with your utter lack of compassion.Makes me proud to be a liberal.

Why aren't you screaming to all the MJ mourners the usual liberal line of "Why is THIS death more important than all the people being slaughtered in Darfur!!"

Posted by: kbdabear at June 25, 2009 09:39 PM (cGmnP)

471 I sent Fox News an email saying I am interested in important news, like the fact that Cap Trade is to be voted on tomorrow and I expect real news from them, not Michael Jackson for ( I just checked, 10:38 pm EDT, stilll Jackson) and I know the vast majority of the public is ignorant but get this off the air and put Cap Trade being thrown at us with the vast majority, Obama voters mainly, having no idea the real impact of it.
Rush Limbaugh is right, Geraldo is the Grim Reaper. If there is a death, Geraldo is covering it.

Fire Shep Smith. Doyou remember him crying during Katrina?

Posted by: CarolT at June 25, 2009 09:41 PM (EhnYT)

472 480 Coming out of lurking just to say: have any of you frikkin' morons ever considered the idea that Rahm was behind this?!11?! MJ dies, the media is all over it 24/7, and Cap and Trade slides thru like crap outta a goose. Chicago, dudes.
Posted by: Jane D'oh!

Wonder who else was on that list of 'candidates' that lived to see another day ... They checking his bed sheets for a pony's head yet?

Posted by: drillanwr at June 25, 2009 09:42 PM (Lpcy6)

473 Savage versus Levin/Rush/Hannity
http://tinyurl.com/me9dxc

Posted by: Booyah at June 25, 2009 09:42 PM (MqJKF)

474 There's no mystery to this death and more than there was to Heath Ledger. It's mixing drugs that do it every time. Any idiot that doesn't know what he's sticking in his mouth will do to him and how it interacts with what's already in there is just askin' for it.

Posted by: Rocks at June 25, 2009 09:42 PM (3RHzM)

475 Will any of those crackerjack reporters ever notice that the kids Michael Jackson supposedly fathered are white, and he's....you know....black?

I'll look into it. This is right up my alley...

Posted by: Andi Sullivan at June 25, 2009 09:42 PM (oE1S9)

476 Sheila Jackson-Lee, D(umbass, TX) dedicated the landing on Mars and planting of the American flag to the memory of Michael Jackson. Jackson-Lee has always been ahead of the curve, way ahead of the curve by probably 20+ years.

Posted by: Fish at June 25, 2009 09:42 PM (FnA4R)

477 I know 4 teenagers who lost a parent in the last year to accidents and
disease. I have no time to consider what the death of Michael Jackson
means to America. I will watch no coverage. I will post no more
comments on the subject. Not that anyone cares, nor should they.

Actually we do care, bro. Sorry to hear that. We kid here all the time, but that's real world right there. Hang in there.

Posted by: Ocho Texto at June 25, 2009 09:43 PM (JyfVU)

478 Hi. just wanted to introduce myself to you wonderful guys. I'm a mom from Savannah who's 19 year-old son is off to Parris Island the end of August. My husband and I enjoyed MJ's music. Aside from that, he's a probable child abuser, and an ass.

Posted by: Jane D'oh! at June 25, 2009 09:44 PM (UOM48)

479 So, nearing 11:00 ET ... Fox usually repeats the 8:00 Factor @ 11 ...

They gonna repeat the Shep Smith bump so we can relive that steaming pile of pussy shit again?

Posted by: drillanwr at June 25, 2009 09:44 PM (Lpcy6)

480 its 10 pm, and MJ is still dead.

...and I have moved from not caring to really not giving a shit.

The NBA draft is on.....

Posted by: Plain Troof at June 25, 2009 09:44 PM (g2sw+)

481 MJ's Death = Poster Child for Obamacare.
Reach 50 and your sick? Here's a massive shot of Demerol for you and a check from Social Security for $216 for death benefits. Next in line please.

Posted by: Rocks at June 25, 2009 09:45 PM (3RHzM)

482 And who was the first person that Shepard Smith interviewed this
afternoon on MJ's death? That's right, Joe 'funny how?' Pesci.

Yeh, I hadda go testify at his trial when I used to drive that Culkin kid over to Santa Barbara after shooting Home Alone 2. Little prick got carsick all the time but it mighta been nerves. The prosecuter asks me what can I tell him about these drives and I tell him I don't know nothing, zero, nadda. And he says, well yeh, you're gonna tell me something tough guy, and I say "I'll tell ya something, go fuck your mother!" I thought he'd shit


Posted by: Joe Pesci at June 25, 2009 09:45 PM (cGmnP)

483 Fox is still at it.

Time to flip around and see if I can find a Deadliest Catch marathon or something.

Then tomorrow, if that cap-n-tax happens, I'll start redoing the family budget. with big cutbacks on most of our spending.

Posted by: stace at June 25, 2009 09:47 PM (g/wgk)

484 I'm a mom from Savannah who's 19 year-old son is off to Parris Island the end of August
Welcome mom and bless your son.

Posted by: Javems at June 25, 2009 09:48 PM (/IQA9)

485 So I hear the pallbearers are going to be 8 chimps?
Pretenders, CC, they're all pretenders. There's only one Bubbles.

Posted by: bubbles at June 25, 2009 09:48 PM (8PGHt)

486
Hi. just wanted to introduce myself to you wonderful guys.

Hello, Jane.

Michael Jackson inspired me to moonwalk.


Posted by: Unicle tweets at June 25, 2009 09:48 PM (e46Cb)

487 493
its 10 pm, and MJ is still dead.
And I'm still revolving around the sun. Or is it Michael Jackson. Obama? Hell, I don't know anymore

Posted by: Earth at June 25, 2009 09:49 PM (cGmnP)

488 Do you think google with help track the runners from Obacare end-of-life madate care?

Posted by: Jonathon E. at June 25, 2009 09:49 PM (dQdrY)

489 So how's Michael doing, anyway? Feeling a little stiff?

Posted by: CoolCzech at June 25, 2009 09:49 PM (teBup)

490 398
Kinda
funny that the day the Supreme court says "Strip Search of Child
Illegal", MJ checks out from this earth. Guess he couldn't take the
disappointment.

You owe me one coffee and one screen wipe

Posted by: kbdabear at June 25, 2009 09:50 PM (cGmnP)

491 Okay, here's what happened. I woke up andthere wasthis scarydude with red glowing eyesstanding over my bed, holding this big sickle and looking down at me. I swearit was Dick Cheney. He asked ifmy namewas Michael andI told him, "No, Michael lives over there," and just pointed in a random direction. Honest,I thought it was Dick Cheney trying to spy on me, like he does to all the innocent unaware citizens. How was I supposed to know?

Posted by: Michael Moore at June 25, 2009 09:50 PM (xlYqZ)

492 Feeling a little stiff?
Hey! That's my line!

Posted by: bubbles at June 25, 2009 09:50 PM (8PGHt)

493 Jane (annoyed grunt), good luck to you and yours with the Marines; they are some of the nicest people I know. I've been whistling a collection of MJ's hits during my nightly constitutional.

Posted by: Big Fat Meanie at June 25, 2009 09:51 PM (n2eCn)

494 Why is Woody Allen pointing a gun at a fake nose?

Posted by: eman at June 25, 2009 09:52 PM (fpywm)

495
You think "Jane" is a confederate? An infiltrator?

My moron-sense is tingling.

Posted by: Unicle tweets at June 25, 2009 09:53 PM (e46Cb)

496 BREAKING NEWS: Francisco Franco is still dead!

Posted by: wherestherum at June 25, 2009 09:53 PM (rN258)

497 Michael Jackson may be in the cooler, but he's still a pedophile, even in death. Check.

Posted by: Fish at June 25, 2009 09:53 PM (FnA4R)

498 Michael always said he loved champagne because of the way I tickled his nose.

Posted by: bubbles at June 25, 2009 09:53 PM (8PGHt)

499
wow over 500 comments

and I think 200 of them are mine

Posted by: Unicle tweets at June 25, 2009 09:54 PM (e46Cb)

500
I blame Bush.

Posted by: P steele at June 25, 2009 09:54 PM (1tvww)

501 Well according to The Sun UK he died after being given an injection of demerol. So it probably wasn't suicide or murder, just drug carelessness. And maybe an indifference to death.
Demerol? Piker.

Posted by: Keith Richards at June 25, 2009 09:54 PM (plsiE)

502 And I'm still revolving around the sun. Or is it Michael Jackson. Obama? Hell, I don't know anymore

Posted by: Earth at June 25, 2009 09:49 PM

Well, he never did the "Earthwalk". I'm shuddering to think all because of that frigging dance step I'm gonna end up being renamed to Michael Jackson. Think of the headline changes of "NASA to send probe to explore Michael Jackson's craters"

Posted by: The Moon at June 25, 2009 09:54 PM (cGmnP)

503 This fucker molested LITTLE KIDS.
And all these Hollywood assholes giving quotes about how great he wasenabled him.
How many people had to turn their backs on doing the right thing for him to get away with what he did?

Posted by: Warden at June 25, 2009 09:55 PM (z7zHs)

504 I'm trying to be sad. I really am. And I really am. Sorry Michael for the way things turned out.
But can we get back to important things like health care and cap and trade? bo must think he has the votes necessary because all of a sudden this must be passed tomorrow.
Like all of their bs, ram it though before people can read and debate it.
There has to be a way to stop the insanity.

Posted by: txpanhandler at June 25, 2009 09:55 PM (E5620)

505 "NASA to send probe to explore Michael Jackson's craters"I thought those were on Uranus not the Moon.

Posted by: bubbles at June 25, 2009 09:55 PM (8PGHt)

506 Dudes, the braves just lost and i flicked on Greta.

did anyone see that wacked out video with like Eddie Murphy and Magic and shit?

Posted by: Anti-Harkonnen Freedom Fighter at June 25, 2009 09:56 PM (5r0Tz)

507 As a child, I was deeply touched by Michael Jackson. No, really.

Posted by: PAULS at June 25, 2009 09:56 PM (Zw4Ga)

508 We won.

Posted by: The Osmonds at June 25, 2009 09:56 PM (0aQsc)

509 its 10 pm, and MJ is still dead.

...and I have moved from not caring to really not giving a shit.

The NBA draft is on.....Well, that's two things that don't peg my give-a-shit meter.


Posted by: IllTemperedCur at June 25, 2009 09:57 PM (9Lm5R)

510 Who will be the lucky recipient of the gloved hand during transplant? The heart is unusable because it's so dark, and the brain is so evil it should be destroyed.

Posted by: Fish at June 25, 2009 09:58 PM (FnA4R)

511 Yuk it up now while you still can republican haters. Just wait til the Pedophile protection hate crimes act is law and you all end up in jail for hateful statements.

Posted by: Nancy Pelosi at June 25, 2009 09:58 PM (PasZ5)

512 who's = whose

one glass of wine too much.

Posted by: Jane D'oh! at June 25, 2009 09:58 PM (UOM48)

513 Just posted this at fox's MJ Memorial:

Just think-
Those hundreds, possibly thousands, of Iranian protesters who were killed yesterday in the massacre in Tehran that the media isn't covering will never know that Michael Jackson is dead.
The Congress is voting on the LARGEST tax increase in history TOMORROW, plus designing a takeover of 1/6th the US economy- I hope Michael Jackson's death doesn't impact that- we will never know, since all we are hearing is about Michael Jackson moving on.
N Korea is threatening nuclear war- DO THEY NOT UNDERSTAND Michael Jackson kicked?????Al Qaeda recently announced they will use the (possibly soon to be captured) Pakistani Nuclear arsenal to attack Americans and American interests- how does Michael Jackson's death affect this plan????
Has Obama issued a statement yet?
Where are we as a country, that THIS spectacle requires wall to wall coverage????

Wonder if they will accept it- I tried to keep it somewhat tasteful.

Posted by: Gerry Owen at June 25, 2009 09:59 PM (g2sw+)

514 #451
Hey Idiotwinkle.
A lot of us are fucked up by our parents but we don't end up molesting little boys.
Bite on that assbag.

Posted by: MrsPaulsFishSticks at June 25, 2009 09:59 PM (PBGAP)

515 I suppose a serious note is merited here.

Here goes.

Her name was Neda.

Posted by: eman at June 25, 2009 09:59 PM (fpywm)

516 Keef Olberdouche had his moments too. Especially when he said Jackson might not have died if whitey had cared a little more. Then he offered up his ass to a black guy...out of guilt.
No surprise with Shep. He's a huge faggot. He's all broken up because he remembers listening to a Jackson tune the first time he took it up the ass.

Posted by: jaleach at June 25, 2009 09:59 PM (gHrZU)

517 Re. Shep: Why are so many gay guys just frickin' OBSESSED with celebrities?

Posted by: . at June 25, 2009 10:00 PM (h6wcn)

518 Is he still dead?

Posted by: Unclefacts at June 25, 2009 10:01 PM (vZVv7)

519 Damn. At lunch today, we were talking about Farrah, reminiscing. I made an idle comment about who was going to be number three.

Less than 2 hours later, MJ's dead and a bunch of my co-workers are creeped out.

Awesome

Posted by: cheshirecat at June 25, 2009 10:01 PM (oE1S9)

520 Breaking News: President William Henry Harrison has died.

Posted by: Zachary Taylor at June 25, 2009 10:01 PM (LFZRj)

521
What was that "Iran confessions" all about? Were the Iranians forcing people to confess their opposition on to the government on televsion?

Posted by: Unicle tweets at June 25, 2009 10:02 PM (e46Cb)

522 Man, the media's priorities sure do suck.

Posted by: I have a Jalen Rose jersey at June 25, 2009 10:02 PM (qIT/g)

523 534
What was that "Iran confessions" all about? Were the Iranians
forcing people to confess their opposition on to the government on
televsion?
Think it was about their support of Shep's constant whatthefuckery.

Posted by: Unclefacts at June 25, 2009 10:03 PM (vZVv7)

524 MJ wasn't the only dancing fool.

Posted by: Frank Zappa at June 25, 2009 10:03 PM (Gnu/s)

525 If only it would have been Sarah Palin!

Posted by: Senator John Kerry at June 25, 2009 10:04 PM (8PGHt)

526 Starting to come out that Jackson collapsed after taking an injection of Demerol.

Posted by: Barry Obama (TendStl) at June 25, 2009 10:05 PM (wNN6d)

527 524
Yuk it up now while you still can republican haters. Just wait til the
Pedophile protection hate crimes act is law and you all end up in jail
for hateful statements.


Posted by: Nancy Pelosi at June 25, 2009 09:58 PM

Oh yeh? Read that Green Energy Bill carefully, especially the paragraph with "Soylent" in it.

Posted by: Charleton Heston, whose death liberals cheered at June 25, 2009 10:05 PM (cGmnP)

528 #399 I remember the day Moe of The Three Stooges died.

Moe is dead? Take it back or I'll brain ya.

Posted by: TheQuietMan at June 25, 2009 10:06 PM (BE9eW)

529 OMG! Is Duran Duran next?

Posted by: eman at June 25, 2009 10:06 PM (fpywm)

530 Breaking News: President Zachary Taylor has died from acute tummy ache.

Posted by: Abe Lincoln at June 25, 2009 10:07 PM (LFZRj)

531 517

I'm trying to be sad. I really am. And I really am. Sorry Michael for the way things turned out.

But can we get back to important things like health care and cap and
trade? bo must think he has the votes necessary because all of a
sudden this must be passed tomorrow.

Like all of their bs, ram it though before people can read and debate it.

There has to be a way to stop the insanity.

Posted by: txpanhandler at June 25, 2009 09:55 PM (E5620)

eleventy.....sigh....the fact that there is a vote tomorrow most certainly does mean El Douche thinks he has the votes - and he's right. the Obamatariat granted red state rural Dems an exemption from cap and trade hell for livestock - aka the "cow tax" - so they're gonna vote for this shit sandwhich, and that's all folks.take a look at the cow tax discussion - that is the same for everything this bill is going to regulate - which is the biggest tax in the world history. Maybe that's the catchy logo - Biggest tax in world history.
I mean really, is there anything to be done? how about a million phone calls campaign by all the right wing radio talking heads? fucking eh....politico:
Chairman Henry Waxman (D-Calif.) has overcome one of the last big
obstacles standing in the path of his landmark climate-change bill,
cutting a deal with Agriculture Committee Chairman Collin Peterson, who
sought greater protections in the bill for farmers and other rural
interests.



Their agreement sets the stage for a vote Friday in the House.



Under the deal, the U.S. Department of Agriculture will oversee the
offset program for farmers, and the House will seek further guidance
from the Obama administration
about the appropriate role for the EPA. And Waxman has agreed to ask
the EPA to roll back its new requirements that farmers offset rural
land developed in other countries. Both were major sticking points for
rural members and the many agriculture associations opposed to the
bill.
AP ARTICLE:

THE INFLUENCE GAME: Excuse me! Lobby wins on burpsTHE INFLUENCE GAME: After 'cow tax' campaign, Congress and EPA steer clear of cattle burps



WASHINGTON
(AP) -- One contributor to global warming -- bigger than coal mines,
landfills and sewage treatment plants -- is being left out of efforts
by the Obama administration and House Democrats to limit greenhouse gas
emissions.











Cow burps.
Belching
from the nation's 170 million cattle, sheep and pigs produces about
one-quarter of the methane released in the U.S. each year, according to
the Environmental Protection Agency. That makes the hoofed critters the
largest source of the heat-trapping gas.
In part because of an
adept farm lobby campaign that equates government regulation with a cow
tax, the gas that farm animals pass is exempt from legislation being
considered by Congress to limit greenhouse gas emissions.The EPA
under President Barack Obama has said it has no plans to regulate the
gas, even though the agency recently included methane among six
greenhouse gases it believes are endangering human health and welfare.
The
message circulating in Internet chat rooms, the halls of Congress and
farm co-ops had America's farms facing financial ruin if the EPA
required them to purchase air-pollution permits like power plants and
factories do. [editor AHFF note: AP here assumes that cap and trade will pass by using the active voice] The cost of those permits amounted to a cow tax, farm
groups argued.
"It really has taken on a life of its own," said
Rick Krause, a lobbyist with the American Farm Bureau Federation, which
coined the term cow tax and spread it to farmers across the country.
"This is something that people understand. All that we have to say is
that (cows) are the next step with these proposed permit fees. And
people are still talking about it."
Administration officials and
House Democratic leaders have tried to assure farm groups that they
have no intention of regulating cows. That effort, however, has done
little to ease the concern of farmers and their advocates in Congress
about the toll that regulating greenhouse gases will have on
agriculture.Lawmakers and farm groups are now pressing for the
climate legislation to guarantee that farmers will be compensated for
taking steps to reduce greenhouse gases. That could lead to farmers
getting paid if their cows pass less gas.
Research has shown that
changing cattle diet and boosting efficiency -- such as producing the
same amount of milk and beef from a smaller herd -- can result in less
gas, according Frank M. Mitloehner, an associate professor at the
University of California at Davis, who has studied livestock gas for 15
years."I don't think livestock should be ignored. Every industry
has to play their role," Mitloehner said. But laws designed to reduce
emissions from smokestacks and tailpipes won't work with cattle, which
can't be fitted with pollution control devices, Mitloehner said."The belching is very hard to collect," he said. "You cannot capture these gases."
The
climate bill specifically excludes enteric fermentation -- the fancy
term for the gas created by digestion and expelled largely by burping
-- from the limit it would place on greenhouse gas emissions. The
legislation directs the EPA not to include it among the various sources
that could be subject to new performance standards.EPA administrator Lisa Jackson has called rumors of the cow tax "ridiculous notions" and a "distraction."
House
aides and EPA officials say that controlling such emissions is
unworkable. Cow burps make up about 2 percent of all the
climate-altering pollution in the U.S.But allies of farmers in
Congress say the reluctance to step in the cow tax debate has a lot to
do with the outcry from the agriculture industry and moderate Democrats
from rural states whose votes are needed to pass the bill.
"I
think they realized that if you are a Democrat in an agricultural
state, a red state, that this is radioactive and I think that is why
they have tried scrupulously to reaffirm that they don't have any
intention of doing this," said Sen. John Thune, R-S.D. He is sponsoring
a bill that would bar the EPA from requiring farmers to get permits for
cattle burps.
Thune, whose state is home to a half-million
cattle, first heard about the cow tax at a South Dakota Cattlemen
Association's conference in early December. Within weeks he introduced
his bill and recruited support from New York Democratic Sen. Chuck
Schumer, whose state boasts three times more cows.
The origins of
the cow tax can be traced to last July, when President George W. Bush's
EPA released documents outlining how the Clean Air Act could regulate
greenhouse gases.
Even though the Bush administration had no
intention of using the law, farm groups seized on a single paragraph
deep in the comments from various federal agencies. The Agriculture
Department warned that if EPA decided to regulate agricultural sources
of greenhouse gases, numerous farms would face costly and
time-consuming process to acquire permits for barnyard burping.The
Farm Bureau quickly did the math and figured farms would have to pay
about $175 for each dairy cow, $87.50 per head of beef cattle and $20
for each hog to purchase permits for emissions.
The cow tax was born.


Posted by: Anti-Harkonnen Freedom Fighter at June 25, 2009 10:07 PM (5r0Tz)

532
John Kerry, I know, right? So much for the Democrats changing the tone in Washington.


Posted by: Unicle tweets at June 25, 2009 10:07 PM (e46Cb)

533 Don't eat Soylent Off-White! It's Michael!! Soylent Off-White is Michael!!!

Posted by: Robert Thorn, NYPD at June 25, 2009 10:07 PM (8PGHt)

534 539
Starting to come out that Jackson collapsed after taking an injection of Demerol.

And an injection that might have Bubbles in it.

Posted by: kbdabear at June 25, 2009 10:08 PM (cGmnP)

535 And you did a good job Gerry. That was my point here. Who cares when there are so many important things happening?
I pray that American is not as stupid as those controlling the government and media seem to think we are.

Posted by: txpanhandler at June 25, 2009 10:08 PM (E5620)

536 I suppose a serious note is merited here.

Here goes.

Her name was Neda.

...she was a showgirl...

Oh, too soon...

(I'm sorry, but that just popped in my head when I read that sentence. Yes, I'm probably going to hell.)

Posted by: cheshirecat at June 25, 2009 10:08 PM (oE1S9)

537 In other news, soldiers (aka my brother)are headingto war into Afghanistan. Nothing to see here, move along.

Posted by: Lou at June 25, 2009 10:08 PM (rFWLj)

538 From Twitter:
@IranNewsNow RIP Michael Jackson. Ppl fllwing #MichaelJaction, please also follow #IranElection. Ppl in Iran are fighting 4 their lives!

(Fox's Special report which also got 'bumped' by Shep) Brett Baier's Facebook Update: "Sorry - we had to cover this ... we'll be back tomorrow. It wasn't our choice."

Posted by: drillanwr at June 25, 2009 10:10 PM (Lpcy6)

539 Michael Jackson is too big to fail.
Therefore, I've directed Treasury Secretary Geithner to extend Michael a 60 billion dollar loan in exchange for a controlling interest in his future recording career.

Posted by: Barak Obama at June 25, 2009 10:10 PM (teBup)

540 550
In other news, soldiers (aka my brother)are headingto war into Afghanistan. Nothing to see here, move along.

God bless, and godspeed to him. He has my thanks for his service, and my hopes that he gets back to the world ok.

Posted by: Unclefacts at June 25, 2009 10:10 PM (vZVv7)

541 OK, I got pissed off enough at the wall-to-wall MJ coverage that I created a twitter account.

What channels should I be following for Iran news?

Posted by: Anachronda at June 25, 2009 10:10 PM (f5hkO)

542 From the Sun:


He collapsed and stopped breathing after an injection of a powerful painkiller named Demerol.

Jacko, 50, was said to be addicted to the drug - similar to morphine - and it is feared he took an overdose.

Posted by: Barry Obama (TendStl) at June 25, 2009 10:10 PM (wNN6d)

543 And an injection that might have Bubbles in it.
That's sick.
And save that political crap for the ONT, AHFF. We're all in mourning here.

Posted by: bubbles at June 25, 2009 10:12 PM (8PGHt)

544 I don't know about MJ's fans, but a lot of mine did the world and offed themselves after I cashed in my chips

Posted by: Kurt Cobain at June 25, 2009 10:12 PM (cGmnP)

545 In other news, President Abe Lincoln has died.

Posted by: J. Garfield at June 25, 2009 10:12 PM (LFZRj)

546 Of course, Michael felt a "little stiff" for the first time about 30 years ago, and coninued to feel little stiffs at his Neverland Ranch throughout his life...

Posted by: CoolCzech at June 25, 2009 10:14 PM (teBup)

547 What channels should I be following for Iran news?

#iranelection #neda

When you see these, they'll point you to other tweets

Posted by: trainer at June 25, 2009 10:16 PM (yCWYQ)

548 This post is why I'm liking this site.

Posted by: rockhead at June 25, 2009 10:17 PM (RykTt)

549 556

funny - i like the bubbles theory.

it really is a tragedy 1200 pages of Obamatariat fraud is going to actually pass the House tomorrow. Can you even imagine the boondoogles and various hidden payoffs to all manner of "interests" in that bill?

Most fraudulent bill of all-time. Or at least fighting the Stimulus bill in a death match for "most fraudulent"

Posted by: Anti-Harkonnen Freedom Fighter at June 25, 2009 10:17 PM (5r0Tz)

550 O/T: Ace, "the other McCain" is quoting you from your "sanford's presser" article, that was a good article.

Posted by: muffy at June 25, 2009 10:17 PM (zplc6)

551 Demerol, shemerol. It was those disco guys on the grassy knoll.

Posted by: JFK at June 25, 2009 10:18 PM (LFZRj)

552 This just in....liberals are brain dead. Repeating liberals are brain dead.

Posted by: TheQuietMan at June 25, 2009 10:18 PM (BE9eW)

553 152And then this has been compared to Kennedy, Princess Di, John
Lennon, Elvis, James Dean and Marilyn. Is that the end of the roll call
of the dead too soon stars?

Don't forget Jimmy, Janis, and Jim.

Posted by: muggedbyreality at June 25, 2009 10:18 PM (1F5pN)

554 funny - i like the bubbles theory.
That I'm the only one he ever reallyloved, AHFF? Thanks, man. I take it back about saving it for the ONT.

Posted by: bubbles at June 25, 2009 10:19 PM (8PGHt)

555 Some people are so stupid it hurts. They'll eat this "MJ is dead" shit up as long as the media shovels it.

As if it really matters... Who the hell is not going to die at some point?

Our government is getting set to cap and trade your ass while you're eating shit. Look up before it's too late. The shit eating grin will win, I guess.

Posted by: AES at June 25, 2009 10:19 PM (dkcp2)

556 In the meantime, The One is hosting a Hawaiian ho-down this weekend.

Let's all take a cleansing breath of air, stretch, and shoot ourselves in the head. In the end, there will be barbeques, cocktail parties, and conga lines.

Posted by: Jane D'oh! at June 25, 2009 10:19 PM (UOM48)

557 And an injection that might have Bubbles in it.

I don't care what anybody says, that's some fucking funny shit right there.

Posted by: MrsPaulsFishSticks at June 25, 2009 10:20 PM (PBGAP)

558 569
In the meantime, The One is hosting a Hawaiian ho-down this weekend.

DUDE, I am SO there...

Posted by: Former Gubner Elliot Spitzer at June 25, 2009 10:20 PM (vZVv7)

559 God is a Racist

Posted by: required field at June 25, 2009 10:20 PM (zBVc/)

560 Reports are Obama is scrambling to find a replacment for Dr. Tiller who he had planned to name as Neo-natal Czar under the new healthcare plan. Dr Kevorkian has graciously accepted the role of Czar for the Elder Care portion.

Posted by: Jonathon E. at June 25, 2009 10:21 PM (dQdrY)

561 In the meantime, The One is hosting a Hawaiian ho-down this weekend.
And if that asshole has the band play 'Tiny Bubbles' one more time, then Olbermann isn't the only one who'll be throwing poo around.

Posted by: bubbles at June 25, 2009 10:21 PM (8PGHt)

562 Unclefacts, Thanks. This is where my prayersare tonite!!!!!

Posted by: Lou at June 25, 2009 10:22 PM (rFWLj)

563 And no one ever called me "Tiny Bubbles" to my face.

Posted by: bubbles at June 25, 2009 10:22 PM (8PGHt)

564 I'm thinking NAMBLA for the pall bearers.

Posted by: MrsPaulsFishSticks at June 25, 2009 10:23 PM (PBGAP)

565 Especially Michael.

Posted by: bubbles at June 25, 2009 10:23 PM (8PGHt)

566

And an injection that might have Bubbles in it.

Tiny bubbles

Make me warm all over

Posted by: Don Ho at June 25, 2009 10:28 PM (7+pP9)

567 #527 A lot of us are fucked up by our parents but we don't end up molesting little boys.

Obviously you were one of them fucked up. I'll give you points for choosing little girls!


Posted by: Bullwinkle at June 25, 2009 10:29 PM (Lsz2a)

568 In other news, anyone thinking of running against the one have been taken out by blackmail.oh the chicago way!! I am not making excuses for their stupidity, but come the fuck on. Two in a week? Who got the emails?

Posted by: Lou at June 25, 2009 10:31 PM (rFWLj)

569 What was the better video, "Beat It" or "Eat It"?

Posted by: eman at June 25, 2009 10:31 PM (fpywm)

570 Boris Badenoff and I are pissed at you, Bullwinkle.
Shut the fuck up.

Posted by: Rocky at June 25, 2009 10:32 PM (0aQsc)

571 F#ck you, Ho!

Posted by: bubbles at June 25, 2009 10:32 PM (8PGHt)

572 Michael Jackson's bestsong was Weird Al's "Eat It"

Posted by: Bud Fox at June 25, 2009 10:34 PM (nTKVd)

573

STFU Bullwinkle.

Posted by: Natasha at June 25, 2009 10:35 PM (7+pP9)

574 In other news, the Real Housewives of New Jersey are having a warm and huggy moment. (I wouldn't know, except someone told me, or something.)

Posted by: Jane D'oh! at June 25, 2009 10:35 PM (UOM48)

575 What do we do to bad moose?

Posted by: Sarah at June 25, 2009 10:36 PM (0aQsc)

576 Welcome to the moronosphere, Jane, and all the best to your son as he heads to the Island.

Posted by: PaleoMedic at June 25, 2009 10:36 PM (yiNoG)

577 Hey, Ballwrinkle,
It ain't the Cons offering legal protection to pedophiles. Why would ya'll do such a thing?

Posted by: Jonathon E. at June 25, 2009 10:37 PM (dQdrY)

578 @582 Weird Al trumps all, except Ray Stevens.

Posted by: AES at June 25, 2009 10:37 PM (dkcp2)

579 I always fucking hated you, Mr.Moose. O.K., you and Bullwinkle.

Posted by: Mr. Rabbit at June 25, 2009 10:38 PM (0aQsc)

580 "Bad" or "Fat"?

Posted by: eman at June 25, 2009 10:38 PM (fpywm)

581 Tribute song to Michael Jackson

I'm Forever Blowing Bubbles


Posted by: kbdabear at June 25, 2009 10:38 PM (cGmnP)

582 541 #399 I remember the day Moe of The Three Stooges died.Moe is dead? Take it back or I'll brain ya.
Posted by: TheQuietMan at June 25, 2009 10:06 PM (BE9eW)
I see Moe, I see MoeSometimes when I look in the mirrorI see MoeI'm alone, I'm all alonebut I never see Larry or CurlyI just see MoeI don't know what's wrong, Moe is dead and gonebut part of him lives on in meNow I got friend, yeah that's for surebut Larry and Curly don't come around much anymoreI don't know what's wrong, Moe is dead and gonebut part of him lives on in meAnd I see Moe, I see MoeSometimes when I look in the mirrorI see Moe
--Guadalcanal Diary

Posted by: logprof at June 25, 2009 10:38 PM (tjUml)

583 First!

Posted by: Ed McMahon at June 25, 2009 10:39 PM (1tvww)

584 588
What do we do to bad moose?

Let the fucker stew.

Posted by: Unclefacts at June 25, 2009 10:40 PM (vZVv7)

585 Jane D'oh! good for originality!!

Posted by: Lou at June 25, 2009 10:40 PM (rFWLj)

586

Did I ever tell you about the time I shoved a lit M-80 up Bullwinkle's ass?

Posted by: Sherman at June 25, 2009 10:41 PM (7+pP9)

587 Obviously you were one of them fucked up. I'll give you points for choosing little girls!

Posted by: Bullwinkle at June 25, 2009 10:29 PM

B: Hey Michael, watch me pull a rabbit out of my hat

MJ: Bullwinkle, that's not a rabbit and that's not your hat

Posted by: kbdabear at June 25, 2009 10:42 PM (cGmnP)

588 560: Thanks.

Posted by: Anachronda at June 25, 2009 10:42 PM (f5hkO)

589 M no longer shows music videos and now Fox News is just showing music.
What a fucked up world. . . .

Posted by: logprof at June 25, 2009 10:43 PM (tjUml)

590 Michael Jackson is too big to fail. Therefore, I've directed Treasury Secretary Geithner to extend Michael a 60 billion dollar loan in exchange for a controlling interest in his future recording career.
Now that is a perfect analogy!

Posted by: Michael Moore at June 25, 2009 10:43 PM (xlYqZ)

591 Is Genghis curled up in the fetal position mourning Farrah? Where's the ONT, I'm so over the Michael Jackson news now.

Posted by: ParanoidGirlInSeattle at June 25, 2009 10:43 PM (AJ4xq)

592 And finally a tribute tonight to Michael Jackson, who loved music and the Little League World Series

Posted by: Keith Olberman at June 25, 2009 10:44 PM (cGmnP)

593 Ahem, that's
MTV no longer shows music videos and now Fox News is just showing music.
What a fucked up world. . . .

Posted by: logprof at June 25, 2009 10:44 PM (tjUml)

594 Michael is with Tupac now.

So this is what it is like when the world goes full retard.

Posted by: eman at June 25, 2009 10:45 PM (fpywm)

595 one down 40 million to go.

Posted by: Obama's Special Pill at June 25, 2009 10:45 PM (n2vBd)

596 You lose, Bullwinkle. I have all of myfriends.

Posted by: Magilla Gorilla at June 25, 2009 10:45 PM (0aQsc)

597 Thanks, kbdabear. I needed that. Come to think of it, that's what Michael used to say too.

Posted by: bubbles at June 25, 2009 10:46 PM (8PGHt)

598 607
Michael is with Tupac now.



So this is what it is like when the world goes full retard.

Hey man, you never go full retard...

Posted by: Unclefacts at June 25, 2009 10:46 PM (vZVv7)

599 And with the death of Michael, it's not an issue of black or white, but who now must be seen in shades of gray

Posted by: Keith Olberman at June 25, 2009 10:47 PM (cGmnP)

600 WTF is it with trolls like Poonwinkle anyway? I mean, I get going over to Kos or Feministing every once in a while just for laughs and flaming for fifteen minutes or so until they boot you (which is undoubtedly coming for defying the orthodoxy), but what do these fecal-covered scabs get out of coming over here for a plunger raping on such a regular basis?

It's bizarre. You'd think that if You Won you'd be happy in your own little corner of the Intertubes masturbating over Obama with your friends. But no, even with everything these lice say they want actually in place, they still aren't happy, and for some reason feel compelled to show up in shops where we're all having a good time and pee on the carpet.

What utter losers. I bet their dogs and parents even hate them.

Posted by: Ocho Texto at June 25, 2009 10:47 PM (JyfVU)

601 Hi, Magilla. How's it hangin'?

Posted by: bubbles at June 25, 2009 10:47 PM (8PGHt)

602 Like a big ripe banana, bubbles.

Posted by: Magilla Gorilla at June 25, 2009 10:49 PM (0aQsc)

603 Michael's not dyed--he was bleached.

Posted by: bubbles at June 25, 2009 10:49 PM (8PGHt)

604
I was looking forward to the new show...

Jon & Kate Plus 8...watch Michael Jackson Masturbate

Posted by: Unicles at June 25, 2009 10:50 PM (e46Cb)

605 But no, even with everything these lice say they want actually in
place, they still aren't happy, and for some reason feel compelled to
show up in shops where we're all having a good time and pee on the
carpet.

Because kostards and other nutroots make themselves miserable in the knowledge that some conservative somewhere is having a good time

Posted by: kbdabear at June 25, 2009 10:50 PM (cGmnP)

606 613, oh they are on my list also, we will not treat illness under obamacare associated with huffing paint, sniffing gas, drinking sterno, or sepsis as a result of small mamals caught in the colon.

Posted by: Obama's Special Pill at June 25, 2009 10:51 PM (n2vBd)

607 I'm impressed with how quickly one can turn tragedy into comedy.
It's not wrong to laugh, is it?

Posted by: jmflynny at June 25, 2009 10:51 PM (cFcA7)

608 Like a big ripe banana, bubbles.
Tell me about it, Magilla.
Jon Kate Plus 8...watch Michael Jackson Masturbate
Tell me about it, Unicles.

Posted by: bubbles at June 25, 2009 10:51 PM (8PGHt)

609 617 - you owe me a screenwipe

Posted by: kbdabear at June 25, 2009 10:51 PM (cGmnP)

610 OK, I can't take another minute of TV. Where the hell is Joan and her extensive library of soft porn Facebook links?

Posted by: Ocho Texto at June 25, 2009 10:51 PM (JyfVU)

611 It's a story. You note it. You do a quick retrospective. You interview some friends. And then you move on.
Unless it can be a useful distraction from The One's uselessness, in which case it can be run instead of that distracting, partisan Iran or North Korea stuff. And re-run. And gone into in great depth, because--Ooo, look a celebrity!

Posted by: BeckoningChasm at June 25, 2009 10:51 PM (dCasg)

612 This about sums up what I expect to hear from some of my friends:

http://tinyurl.com/mpxtec







Posted by: blackrockmarauder at June 25, 2009 10:52 PM (GvgvT)

613 This is my first night off in three weeks - so they better not be pre-empting RED EYE for this shit too.

Posted by: GrayLoess at June 25, 2009 10:52 PM (nTKVd)

614 My ass has less hair on it and is justas real as Joan's ass.

Posted by: Magilla Gorilla at June 25, 2009 10:53 PM (0aQsc)

615 Now don't you guys get the wrong idea.
I didn't hang out with that Neverland cocksucker. It's just me here in the shed with my kitties.
No Randy 'n' Lahey thing here.

Posted by: Bubbles. Just Bubbles. at June 25, 2009 10:53 PM (tjUml)

616 #589: Thanks! He is a private school grad, and unlike what John Kerry has said, our son made a decision based on his lifelong dream of serving his country.

Trust me, he's our only child, and I'm scared shitless that he will serve under President Prissypants as his CIC.

OOPS! Sorry to go off topic! Do I get a newby excuse card?

Posted by: Jane D'oh! at June 25, 2009 10:54 PM (UOM48)

617 I'm impressed with how quickly one can turn tragedy into comedy.
Well, like Michael always used to say just like Chuckles the Clown, "A little song, a little dance, a little bubbles down your pants."

Posted by: bubbles at June 25, 2009 10:54 PM (8PGHt)

618 Let me make that a little easier:

http://tinyurl.com/mpxtec

Posted by: blackrockmarauder at June 25, 2009 10:54 PM (GvgvT)

619 GrayLoess,

Too late. Andy Levy tweeted as much 5 hours ago.

Posted by: Sorry To Disappoint de Blog at June 25, 2009 10:54 PM (1Bods)

620 Iran, N. Korea, cap and trade, healthcare (which I heard from my husband the glorious one may have chewed his foot on a bit) -- and all I've heard about is El Glove-o croaking.
No offense, I always felt he was a sad, deranged, and tortured soul (kind of like a sad, crying clown, or a mime) and no disrespect to the dead, but he didn't really thrill me when I was a kid (and Thriller was big back then) and I kinda have to stifle a yawn at his passing. And the whole obsession with kiddies...call me heartless, but I can't seem to get past that.

Posted by: unknown jane at June 25, 2009 10:56 PM (EpmMs)

621 I heard that a fake black manchild whonever grew up, lives in a fantasy world, lies a lot and hasnever been held accountable for his actions died. AndI thought, Obama died?!

Posted by: Crusty at June 25, 2009 10:57 PM (qzgbP)

622 Excuse me, but do you have any Grey Poupon?

Posted by: Hussein Soerto at June 25, 2009 10:57 PM (JyfVU)

623 is it okay here to goof on someone who just expired? silly me, this place is awesome.

Posted by: formerparatrooper at June 25, 2009 10:57 PM (n2vBd)

624 Apparently genghis is in mourning, that or PGiS has him tied up again.

Posted by: Mtenloch at June 25, 2009 10:57 PM (SKftV)

625 Contempt and Disrespect. eeeexcellent... I see I've come to the right place.

Posted by: Terry at June 25, 2009 10:57 PM (DUYQy)

626 Jackson's third child, Prince Michael Jackson II (also known as Blanket) was born in 2002

Free at last, free at last, free at last!

Posted by: Blanket Jackson at June 25, 2009 10:58 PM (cGmnP)

627 Kind of weird how MJ and BO have much the same fan base. Makes ya wonder.

Posted by: Jonathon E. at June 25, 2009 10:59 PM (dQdrY)

628 614
How's it hangin'?
Upside down, four stories up

Posted by: Blanket Jackson at June 25, 2009 10:59 PM (cGmnP)

629 640
Kind of weird how MJ and BO have much the same fan base. Makes ya wonder.

Makes me fucking sick.

Posted by: Unclefacts at June 25, 2009 11:00 PM (vZVv7)

630 i wonder, how does one give someone cpr whose nose keeps falling off during the process? just wondering?

Posted by: formerparatrooper at June 25, 2009 11:00 PM (n2vBd)

631
You think this is bad?

Wait until the funeral. The streets of Los Angeles will be mobbed. The talking heads will be gushing their crocodile tears and reminiscing to us how much of a wonderful humanitarian Wacko Jacko was.

It. Will. Be. A. Circus.

The worst part? The whole world will be watching and every criticism they have about stupid Americans will be right there on full display to prove them right. It will truly be a low point in our nation's history when our news media and millions of our fellow citizens publically mourn the creep, Michael Jackson.

Posted by: Unicles at June 25, 2009 11:01 PM (e46Cb)

632 638
Contempt and Disrespect. eeeexcellent... I see I've come to the right place.

Posted by: Terry at June 25, 2009 10:57 PM

Yes, we should show the respect that the nutroots showed for the death of Charlton Heston on Huffpo and Kos

Posted by: kbdabear at June 25, 2009 11:01 PM (cGmnP)

633 You gotta hold the mouth closed and breathe into the nose hole. Might be why no one was willing.

Posted by: Jonathon E. at June 25, 2009 11:02 PM (dQdrY)

634 Well my guess is they will run this shit through the weekend, so we dont see the bill they pass tommorow (aka economy destroyer)!!Sorry that is how i see it. I hope I am wrong!!! These people are fucking pathetic!!!

Posted by: Lou at June 25, 2009 11:02 PM (rFWLj)

635 Shit, I plan on having a party the day of his funeral. I'm gonna have me an MJ pinata and everything.

It'll be authentic as hell, bits and pieces will just randomly fall off it, to the delight of the children.

Posted by: Unclefacts at June 25, 2009 11:03 PM (vZVv7)

636 Can't wait for Obama's comments re: Freakboy. I effin' guarantee he'll have more compassion for a child molester than the innocent protesters in Iran.

Posted by: Ocho Texto at June 25, 2009 11:03 PM (JyfVU)

637 Kind of weird how MJ and BO have much the same fan base. Makes ya wonder.

Remember how MJ's handlers bussed in hundreds of supporters to his trial? I've been thinking "ACORN" for hours.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at June 25, 2009 11:03 PM (9Lm5R)

638 i am sure iranians will think that millions ofAmericans are taking to the streets to support their protests- WRONG, imagine their shock when they find out its for Michael fucking Jackson - what the fuck is wrong here?

Posted by: formerparatrooper at June 25, 2009 11:03 PM (n2vBd)

639 The worst part? The whole world will be watching and every criticism
they have about stupid Americans will be right there on full display to
prove them right. It will truly be a low point in our nation's history
when our news media and millions of our fellow citizens publically
mourn the creep, Michael Jackson.


Well, perhaps we shouldn't say much, but we bloody well will

Posted by: The British at June 25, 2009 11:03 PM (cGmnP)

640 @643 CPR is easier that way. You just open your mouth wide and make a seal over moth and nose.

Posted by: Magilla Gorilla at June 25, 2009 11:04 PM (0aQsc)

641 If Michael uh would have had er government run health care, uh he would still be here with us.

Posted by: Barak Obama at June 25, 2009 11:04 PM (gcysp)

642 It's easy if you are a moth, and aren't drunk.

Posted by: mothra at June 25, 2009 11:05 PM (0aQsc)

643 Michael Jackson dies.
Douchetools like Shep get weepy.
Oh, the faggotry.

Posted by: Milesdei at June 25, 2009 11:05 PM (FS9ko)

644 @629, Jane, "Trust me, he's our only child, and I'm scared shitless that he will serve under President Prissypants as his CIC."

I hear you. My son is at Fort Benning and I worry more about how Bambi will exploit his service than I am about him falling off of twenty foot obstacles (yep. It happened; "but don't worry, I'm not dead." is what he wrote in his letter. Sprained ankle, thank God. Guess he'll make a good paratrooper.)

Posted by: PaleoMedic at June 25, 2009 11:06 PM (yiNoG)

645
I hope I'm wrong. I hope MJ has a small funeral with family and the whole thing just quietly fades away.

But we all know I'm right and the funeral is going to be a media circus because the media is going to make sure it's a circus...with the help of Latoya, of course.

Posted by: Unicles at June 25, 2009 11:07 PM (e46Cb)

646 @ 653, are joking? i apparently was not blessed with the snake like ability to unhinge my jaws to open my mouth that wide.

Posted by: formerparatrooper at June 25, 2009 11:07 PM (n2vBd)

647 It. Will. Be. A. Circus.
I hope no one goes to the funeral dressed as Peter Peanut.

Posted by: bubbles at June 25, 2009 11:08 PM (8PGHt)

648 BREAKING: My leg. "Ouch"

Posted by: Rocks at June 25, 2009 11:08 PM (3RHzM)

649 manbla just lost one of their best members

Posted by: formerparatrooper at June 25, 2009 11:09 PM (n2vBd)

650 I feel an uncontrollable urge to watch the Michael Jackson episode of South Park.

Posted by: PaleoMedic at June 25, 2009 11:09 PM (yiNoG)

651 I broke my personal embargo of Fox News and tuned in tonight and saw a few moments of the media-whore-mourning from a remote location in Los Angeles (I think Westwood) and I remembered why I stopped watching Fox news.
Thanks Shep!
Thanks Adam Housley!
You two cheapen my world by just being in it.
Seriously, has Fox always sucked this bad or are we nowjust noticing it? Yeah, I know it's better than MSNBC, but that's a terribly low bar.

Posted by: Jim From San Diego at June 25, 2009 11:09 PM (H7Rlw)

652 Waddaya bet the Bambster comments on MJ's death quicker than he did the Iranian election?

Posted by: rockhead at June 25, 2009 11:09 PM (RykTt)

653
That might very well be the silver lining in the upcoming funeral-circus, bubbles. You just know there will be California freaks and weirdos coming out to join the fray and get in front of the cameras.

Maybe naked-swollen-testicle-guy will come down from San Francisco.

Posted by: Unicles at June 25, 2009 11:10 PM (e46Cb)

654 Anyone who cares
Needs to get a fucking life.
Neda's dead too, yo.

Posted by: Milesdei at June 25, 2009 11:10 PM (FS9ko)

655 new cpr guidelines omit the mouth to mouth part

Posted by: Jones at June 25, 2009 11:11 PM (KOkrW)

656
I feel an uncontrollable urge to watch the Michael Jackson episode of South Park.

Posted by: PaleoMedic at June 25, 2009 11:09 PM (yiNoG)

That's just ignorant. I want to play, let's play Blankie.

Posted by: Micahel Jackson at June 25, 2009 11:11 PM (3RHzM)

657 O/T: Gawker has a purported videotape of Sanford's GF.

Posted by: muffy at June 25, 2009 11:11 PM (zplc6)

658 Uri Gellar said he knew this would happen, he might have warned someone for gosh sakes!!

Posted by: Lou at June 25, 2009 11:11 PM (rFWLj)

659 Fuck me.

It's the pedophile getting the press?

What the fucking fuck?

Posted by: Randy Rager at June 25, 2009 11:11 PM (x6dJS)

660 His funeral will be fleeting, forgotten in a month....but my sweet Lord, imagine what his mausoleum will be like.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at June 25, 2009 11:12 PM (9Lm5R)

661 i guess i was lucky that i missed fox news tonight, was shep really that faggitty?

Posted by: formerparatrooper at June 25, 2009 11:12 PM (n2vBd)

662 See you later, folks. I've got to get back to work typing my Shakespeare play list.

Posted by: bubbles at June 25, 2009 11:14 PM (8PGHt)

663 Posted by: muffy at June 25, 2009 11:11 PM (zplc6)
Saw it. She's hot. I would like to see that mane flying.


OT: "Bruno" sucks balls on the Tonight Show. How bad is that going to be?

Posted by: Micahel Jackson at June 25, 2009 11:14 PM (3RHzM)

664 I'll pretend to care
About Micheal Jackson's death
When...ummm....well...never.

Posted by: Milesdei at June 25, 2009 11:16 PM (FS9ko)

665 We all love Shep. How dare you?

Posted by: New Orleans Fags at June 25, 2009 11:17 PM (0aQsc)

666 He's fine. We were playing 'Got Your Nose'.

I won.


Posted by: The Anamorphic Personification of Death at June 25, 2009 11:17 PM (94a3+)

667 Michael Jackson was a man amongst boys in bed. He was a pedophile's pedophile, and I mean that sincerely. He could diddle little boys like no other AND get away with it, repeatedly, over decades, and it only cost him some bad publicity and very few of the millions of dollars he made. No other pedophile in the history of pedophilia has been able to moon walk as well as him or sell 750 million of anything. EVER.

He was a rare breed - One of the most successful, wealthy, talented, sad, fucked up people this world has ever produced and that's saying a lot. Wherever he may be now (and I think we all know where that is) at least he's not here amongst us anymore.

Posted by: CozMark at June 25, 2009 11:17 PM (klUBn)

668 OK ... wine taking over, and lack of O2 from laughing so hard for the last few hours ...
But can the crazy little porn-lovin' bastard fire off a missile or some shit now?

Posted by: drillanwr at June 25, 2009 11:19 PM (Lpcy6)

669 I have nothing to say, just this,The king is dead, long live the king.

Posted by: missg at June 25, 2009 11:19 PM (1vDEl)

670 Am I the only one that watched Anderson Cooper long enough tonight to learn that he first met Michael Jackson at CLUB 54 WHEN HE WAS 10 ?!?!?!?!

10-year-old Anderson Cooper at Club 54 with Michael Jackson. I get it now.

Posted by: Brian in New Orleans at June 25, 2009 11:19 PM (3QAIh)

671 Michael was gentle.
He knew how to use his tongue.
I did not need lube.

Posted by: Jake Boyman at June 25, 2009 11:21 PM (FS9ko)

672 680
He's fine. We were playing 'Got Your Nose'.

Thanks for posting that while I had a mouth full of cereal.

Which btw, was the drug that killed him. Damned Frosted Mini Wheats got another one. When will the evils for cereal narcotics move congress to do something!

Posted by: kbdabear at June 25, 2009 11:22 PM (cGmnP)

673 When Farrah Fawcett arrived at the pearly gates God asked if she wanted

a wish. She said she just wished that all children were safe, so God

killed Michael Jackson.

Posted by: redc1c4 at June 25, 2009 11:22 PM (d1FhN)

674 Celebrity deaths are one of the myriad of reasons why I hate living in LA. Some celeb dies suddenly and traffic is fucked. Damn the reporters and the starstruck idiots who live in this town. Assholes.

Posted by: wherestherum at June 25, 2009 11:22 PM (rN258)

675 @684, no fucking way, no wonder anderson is so familiar with tea bagging.

Posted by: formerparatrooper at June 25, 2009 11:22 PM (n2vBd)

676 Where is the Overnight Thread? I've had a busy day today and need a break.


Posted by: The Anamorphic Personification of Death at June 25, 2009 11:23 PM (94a3+)

677 Posted by: kbdabear at June 25, 2009 11:01

Yes, we should show the respect that the nutroots showed for the death of Charlton Heston on Huffpo and Kos


Just to be clear..... I really am down with the contempt and disrespect.

Posted by: Terry at June 25, 2009 11:23 PM (DUYQy)

678 Amongst thealien Spider-Puppeteer queens, who is more powerful, Oprah or Worf Michelle?

Posted by: Jonathon E. at June 25, 2009 11:23 PM (dQdrY)

679 @ 687 red

LMAO

Posted by: wherestherum at June 25, 2009 11:23 PM (rN258)

680 Speaking of perverts, Justice Thomas was the only Justice to rule that it is OK to search a underage girls underwear for ibuprofen.

you just gotta wonder.....

Posted by: torabora at June 25, 2009 11:23 PM (gcysp)

681 Which btw, was the drug that killed him. Damned Frosted Mini Wheats got another one. When will the evils for cereal narcotics move congress to do something!I thought Jackson choked to death on 12-year old nuts? Could the NYT be wrong?

Posted by: sock puppet ripping off poster on "other" Jackson thread at June 25, 2009 11:24 PM (8PGHt)

682 Really. Two people die and the world stops.

It's all in a days work for me.

Show some perspective.

Posted by: The Anamorphic Personification of Death at June 25, 2009 11:25 PM (94a3+)

683 Not making it up. He said the explanation for why or how he was in Club 54 when he was 10 "was another story altogether" and "social services might be interested in mom, chuckle".

Well, no shit!

Posted by: Brian in New Orleans at June 25, 2009 11:25 PM (3QAIh)

684 686 680 He's fine. We were playing 'Got Your Nose'.Thanks for posting that while I had a mouth full of cereal. Which btw, was the drug that killed him. Damned Frosted Mini Wheats got another one. When will the evils for cereal narcotics move congress to do something!
Posted by: kbdabear

Well, be thankful it wasn't Cheerios `cause those ARE a drug ... FDA says so.

Posted by: drillanwr at June 25, 2009 11:25 PM (Lpcy6)

685 Why not alaska? Pick on someone your own damn size. Really.
Oh, wait...we are talking about North Korea.

Posted by: Hawaii at June 25, 2009 11:25 PM (0aQsc)

686 She's the Argentina babe?

Meh.

Posted by: eman at June 25, 2009 11:27 PM (fpywm)

687 I think this may be the de facto ont. I think all the bloggers assume someone else is taking care of it or something.

Posted by: logprof at June 25, 2009 11:27 PM (tjUml)

688
Tomorrow is...

the day after a 'sad day'

Posted by: Unicles at June 25, 2009 11:28 PM (e46Cb)

689 Anybody remember several yrs back when MJ did the halftime show at the Super Bowl and stood there like a damn statue for like 15 minutes while the crowd went nuts?


Wonder if the ER docs said, "Just give him another minute or two ... I saw him do this at the Super Bowl a few years ago ... He'll start singing any minute ..."

Posted by: drillanwr at June 25, 2009 11:28 PM (Lpcy6)

690 This thread is already at 700. Can it go to 1000 before an ONT is put up?

Posted by: wherestherum at June 25, 2009 11:28 PM (rN258)

691 10-year-old Anderson Cooper at Club 54 with Michael Jackson. I get it now.

Nice job parenting, Ms. Vanderbilt.

Nice job enforcing those liquor laws against minors in nightclubs, NYC.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at June 25, 2009 11:29 PM (9Lm5R)

692 Dudes, on a serious note, this is truly unreal.

Public Shouldnt Be Kept in the Dark by an Agency Supposedly Committed to Transparency







Washington, D.C., June 26, 2009The Competitive Enterprise Institute is today making public an internal study on climate science which was suppressed by the Environmental Protection Agency. Internal EPA email messages, released by the CEI earlier in the week, indicate that the
report was kept under wraps and its author silenced because of pressure
to support the Administrations agenda of regulating carbon dioxide.
The report finds that EPA, by adopting the United
Nations 2007 Fourth Assessment report, is relying on outdated
research and is ignoring major new developments. Those developments
include a continued decline in global temperatures, a new consensus
that future hurricanes will not be more frequent or intense, and new
findings that water vapor will moderate, rather than exacerbate,
temperature.
New data also indicate that ocean cycles are
probably the most important single factor in explaining temperature
fluctuations, though solar cycles may play a role as well, and that
reliable satellite data undercut the likelihood of endangerment from
greenhouse gases.All of this demonstrates EPA should independently
analyze the science, rather than just adopt the conclusions of outside
organizations.
The released report is a draft version, prepared
under EPAs unusually short internal review schedule, and thus may
contain inaccuracies which were corrected in the final report.
While
we hoped that EPA would release the final report, were tired of
waiting for this agency to become transparent, even though its
Administrator has been talking transparency since she took office. So
we are releasing a draft version of the report ourselves, today, said
CEI General Counsel Sam Kazman.

Posted by: Anti-Harkonnen Freedom Fighter at June 25, 2009 11:29 PM (5r0Tz)

693 Idiot DJ on the radio saying of MJ:

"We're ALL trying to pull ourselves together and trying to understand what happened"

JHC, do we have any functioning adults talking into broadcast tv or radio microphones today?

And not only do they vote, we encourage them to do so

Posted by: kbdabear at June 25, 2009 11:29 PM (cGmnP)

694 Studio 54?

Posted by: jmflynny at June 25, 2009 11:30 PM (cFcA7)

695 I think this may be the de facto ont. I think all the bloggers assume someone else is taking care of it or something.

I'll give genghis another 10 minutes or so then put up an emergency stunt ONT.

Posted by: Mtenloch at June 25, 2009 11:30 PM (SKftV)

696 That's right, folks, with ObamaCare, we'll create celebrity job openings at the rate of TWO per day!

Posted by: Doktor Obama at June 25, 2009 11:31 PM (FcR7P)

697 Geralso and shep saying drugs may have caused him to die, I feel bad now, I should have cared a little more!! Then his fame would not have been so out of control!! Maybe he should have taken a knee. But according to his death, he was better then Jesus, so what do I know.

Posted by: Lou at June 25, 2009 11:31 PM (rFWLj)

698 @ 706

BLASPHEMER! THE SCIENCE IS SETTLED!!!!!ELEVENTY!!!!!111!!!!!

Posted by: wherestherum at June 25, 2009 11:31 PM (rN258)

699
I don't know how I'll get over this tragedy.

Posted by: Unicles at June 25, 2009 11:31 PM (e46Cb)

700
I'm hungry.

Posted by: Unicles at June 25, 2009 11:32 PM (e46Cb)

701 Anderson Coopers's mom was pimping his ass at the age of 10? No wonder he gravitated to the MSM.

Posted by: Jonathon E. at June 25, 2009 11:32 PM (dQdrY)

702 Party like it's a couple weeks till nukes!!

Posted by: Hawaii at June 25, 2009 11:33 PM (0aQsc)

703 704
This thread is already at 700. Can it go to 1000 before an ONT is put up?

This thread aint over until Lace Wigs says it's over

Posted by: kbdabear at June 25, 2009 11:34 PM (cGmnP)

704 This thread MUST BE STOPPED

this thing will get out of hand- it'll get out of hand and we'll be lucky to live through it

Posted by: Jones at June 25, 2009 11:34 PM (KOkrW)

705 I'll give genghis another 10 minutes or so then put up an emergency stunt a Fake Shemp ONT.

FIFY.

Because all blog postings are 100% better with Evil Dead II references.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at June 25, 2009 11:34 PM (9Lm5R)

706 God I'm an idiot. Yes, Studio 54.

Posted by: Brian in New Orleans at June 25, 2009 11:35 PM (3QAIh)

707 Let's talk!

Posted by: Joans fake ass pictures at June 25, 2009 11:35 PM (0aQsc)

708 @kbear

Lace wigs has only shown up once this whole thread. Is it restraining itself? Or is it mourning MJ?

Posted by: wherestherum at June 25, 2009 11:35 PM (rN258)

709 any 'resident evil' fans?

Posted by: Jones at June 25, 2009 11:36 PM (KOkrW)

710 Well. Even ESPN's not safe. A Sportscenter story on Michael Jackson, because he played the halftime at Super Bowl XXVII.

Posted by: Tresjin at June 25, 2009 11:36 PM (l7K0j)

711 Can someone help out and get me turning again? These celebrity deaths are a real bitch on my rotation

Posted by: Earth at June 25, 2009 11:37 PM (cGmnP)

712 I honestly cannot think of a single celebrity I would shed a tear for if they died. Not a single one. Sure, I'd miss some of them, maybe like Johnny Depp or The Rock (mmmm Dwayne Johnson), but I sure as held wouldn't CRY.

And I say this as a chick.

Posted by: wherestherum at June 25, 2009 11:37 PM (rN258)

713 I just figured it out ... Shep is putting together an audition tape for MSNBC!

Posted by: drillanwr at June 25, 2009 11:38 PM (Lpcy6)

714 I don't like the fast zombies. They always win.

Posted by: Jonathon E. at June 25, 2009 11:38 PM (dQdrY)

715 oops, held = hell

Damn, I've been bored at work too long.

Posted by: wherestherum at June 25, 2009 11:38 PM (rN258)

716 My goal in life is to be the last irrelevant poster
on the worst thread in the blogosphere.


Posted by: Derak at June 25, 2009 11:38 PM (7FwmQ)

717 Um, can we get an ONT or any other topic, please?

Posted by: Methos, wet blanket at June 25, 2009 11:39 PM (wU8X9)

718 724
Well. Even ESPN's not safe. A Sportscenter story on Michael Jackson, because he played the halftime at Super Bowl XXVII.

AKA the Jackson who didn't flash his tits on national tv at halftime

Posted by: kbdabear at June 25, 2009 11:39 PM (cGmnP)

719 And there's something similar here too, AHFF, from Kate at SDA. (From an Aussie enviro named Plimer.)
Much of what we have read about climate change, [Plimer] argues, is rubbish, especially the computer modeling on which much current scientific opinion is based, which he describes as "primitive."
The Earth's climate is driven by the receipt and redistribution of solar energy. Despite this crucial relationship, the sun tends to be brushed aside as the most important driver of climate. Calculations on supercomputers are primitive compared with the complex dynamism of the Earth's climate and ignore the crucial relationship between climate and solar energy.
To reduce modern climate change to one variable, CO2, or a small proportion of one variablehuman-induced CO2is not science. To try to predict the future based on just one variable (CO2) in extraordinarily complex natural systems is folly.

Posted by: andycanuck at June 25, 2009 11:40 PM (8PGHt)

720 724
Well. Even ESPN's not safe. A Sportscenter story on Michael Jackson, because he played the halftime at Super Bowl XXVII.

Not to mention Michael's intense interest in Pop Warner football in Reseda

Posted by: kbdabear at June 25, 2009 11:41 PM (cGmnP)

721 I am going to boycott TV all weekend. I have a really short attention span as well as a low tolerance for opportunistic displays of "being part of the national tragedy" phenomenon. People weeping, candles in hand, fervently mouthing the words to whatever inane tune is playing at the vigil. Blech.

Wait. Did that sound cynical? Sorry if it sounds cynical.

Posted by: PaleoMedic at June 25, 2009 11:41 PM (yiNoG)

722 730 My goal in life is to be the last irrelevant poster on the worst thread in the blogosphere.You Win! DING DING DING

Posted by: Lou at June 25, 2009 11:41 PM (rFWLj)

723
This could turn hilarious, folks. Think about it; Jacko was crazy. I would not be a bit surprised if he had arranged in his will for an actual circus in lieu of a funeral -- with clowns, elephants, jugglers, Sigfried & Roy, etc.

I would be more surprised to find out if Jackson did not make special, extraordinary funeral arrangements for himself.

Posted by: Unicles at June 25, 2009 11:42 PM (e46Cb)

724 genghis must be beside himself with grief, too stunned and shocked to type, paralyzed by melancholy, a statue of pain, adrift in a sea of sorrow, raging at the Almighty, swept away by a torrent of tears, or.....

spreading the last bag of lime on the hobo before filling the hole

Posted by: eman at June 25, 2009 11:42 PM (fpywm)

725 730 My goal in life is to be the last irrelevant poster on the worst thread in the blogosphere.
Posted by: Derak

You're half successful ... Count your blessings your half worked out for ya.

Posted by: drillanwr at June 25, 2009 11:43 PM (Lpcy6)

726 genghis must be beside himself with grief, too
Or he just got shit-faced and passed out.

Posted by: Jonathon E. at June 25, 2009 11:44 PM (dQdrY)

727 Yeah, he was the King of Pop....26 years ago. After Thriller it was all downhill, music-wise, and by the mid 90's he became the freak show that we all know. How relevant was he, in the 2000's, to warrant this kind of overkill coverage? At least John Lennon and Elvis were still performing and making music when they died.


I'm still pissed at him for hijacking the Beatles catalog, hopefully Paul has enough money left over from his 2nd marriage to buy the shit back.

Posted by: Al Gore at June 25, 2009 11:44 PM (FhWAV)

728 738
genghis must be beside himself with grief, too stunned and shocked to
type, paralyzed by melancholy, a statue of pain, adrift in a sea of
sorrow, raging at the Almighty, swept away by a torrent of tears,
or.....


Or Ace wants to see what Michael Jackson jokes pop up here. At least before he has to chase everyone out and lock up before we trash the place.

Posted by: kbdabear at June 25, 2009 11:45 PM (cGmnP)

729
"I'm waiting for the "con" side on the important national debate over whether this is sad."
The upcoming, and inevitable, Vegas MJ tributes/reviews should decide this.

Look for tone, then authenticity, sincerity, celebrity impersonators in attendance, etc.
In the event of "no decision", the details of the first celeb sighting of MJ, and said celebs status in the celebrity universe and reaction reaction (and whether or not Opra stages an intervention, or merely an interview), as written up in a tabloid, will decide.

Posted by: Arbalest at June 25, 2009 11:45 PM (2ymvt)

730 Thanks, Unicles, now you've given me a case of the munchies. And I'm trying to lose weight.

Posted by: Siberian Tiger at June 25, 2009 11:45 PM (8PGHt)

731 Andycanuck (prolly from Revelstoke....uuh?) Dammit the earth is FLAT.
FLAT. and the sun revolves around it, kay?

So pay up. We're all gonna die.

Ghengis, cripes. wake up big guy. Onot!

Posted by: Derak at June 25, 2009 11:46 PM (7FwmQ)

732 Ace died, too.
No new threads.

Posted by: Joans fake ass pictures at June 25, 2009 11:47 PM (0aQsc)

733 I still can't get over how much sanford's GF could be twins with his wife. Wow, guys must go for the same type. Really bizarre, a bizarre day all around. Rumor has it that Peres Hilton (I won't go to his site, won't give him the click) apparently claimed MJ's death was/is a stunt????

Posted by: muffy at June 25, 2009 11:47 PM (zplc6)

734 Genghis is trying to feather his hair in honor of Farrah. Hes already donned the red leather jacket and glittery glove and has practiced saying Heeeres Johnny until he was hoarse.

Posted by: ParanoidGirlInSeattle at June 25, 2009 11:48 PM (AJ4xq)

735 I can't stop thinking about how different my mood would be this evening if it had been Barney Frank and Maxine Waters who had croaked today.

Posted by: Hucbald at June 25, 2009 11:48 PM (O9yAg)

736 as vice chairman of the lower south carolina "be a man, not a fag" association, i have been given this decree to be released: shep smith will forthwith, be stripped of all man credentials as we havediscovered his hairless withered body to be devoid any testosterone.additionally, we have discovered several cher and streisand cd's under the seat of his lavender vw bug. when available, we will remove his diminutive sack. that is all.

Posted by: coldwarrior at June 25, 2009 11:48 PM (I3a3V)

737
Ooh, I was just reminded of the guy who did the Jackson 5 act by himself. He built this big costume-contraption that had two dummies on each side of him and he made it look like five people dancing in unison.

Remember that?

Posted by: Unicles at June 25, 2009 11:48 PM (e46Cb)

738 No, Derak, from the Great Satan--Toronto. (But from the saner west end where we don't allow garbage strikes.)

Posted by: andycanuck at June 25, 2009 11:49 PM (8PGHt)

739 742 738 genghis must be beside himself with grief, too stunned and shocked to type, paralyzed by melancholy, a statue of pain, adrift in a sea of sorrow, raging at the Almighty, swept away by a torrent of tears, or.....

Wait ... he hasn't been seen and MJ is dead ... AND Janet ain't been seen!

My gawd! How many lives can one man lead??!?

Posted by: drillanwr at June 25, 2009 11:49 PM (Lpcy6)

740 Okay the stunt overnight thread is up. Have fun.

Posted by: Mtenloch at June 25, 2009 11:49 PM (SKftV)

741 We pass on our condolences at the loss suffered on the planet earth today, the whole galaxy mourns with you

Posted by: Romulan Senate at June 25, 2009 11:49 PM (cGmnP)

742 Soros and the Chicago Mob Government know where the real Barry Sotero's body is.

Posted by: Jonathon E. at June 25, 2009 11:51 PM (dQdrY)

743 I'm confused: Will Sir Elton John play ANOTHER version of "Candle in the Wind" at Jacko's funeral, givenMJ's previous problem with the infamous Pepsi commercial?

Posted by: Russ from Winterset at June 25, 2009 11:51 PM (/MEFr)

744 I don't run my site this way. You need to talk about creationism, get your numbers up.

Posted by: Charles Johnson at June 25, 2009 11:51 PM (0aQsc)

745 733

And there's something similar here too, AHFF, from Kate at SDA. (From an Aussie enviro named Plimer.)

Much of what we
have read about climate change, [Plimer] argues, is rubbish, especially
the computer modeling on which much current scientific opinion is
based, which he describes as "primitive."

The Earth's
climate is driven by the receipt and redistribution of solar energy.
Despite this crucial relationship, the sun tends to be brushed aside as
the most important driver of climate. Calculations on supercomputers
are primitive compared with the complex dynamism of the Earth's climate
and ignore the crucial relationship between climate and solar energy.

To reduce modern
climate change to one variable, CO2, or a small proportion of one
variablehuman-induced CO2is not science. To try to predict the future
based on just one variable (CO2) in extraordinarily complex natural
systems is folly.

Posted by: andycanuck at June 25, 2009 11:40 PM (8PGHt)

dude its scary on some MSM blogs - they're all about the "Only 175 dollars per family" and "so maybe sun spots are determinative - but i'll pay 175 a year for as a "insurance policy" against warming - it could killll us allllll"
sickening. this is the last night of American freedom from the menace of bureaucratized AGW warriors with the power of the State to stop global warming with force.
truly historic.

Posted by: Anti-Harkonnen Freedom Fighter at June 25, 2009 11:52 PM (5r0Tz)

746 Maxine had a fight with another critter today, that Maxine "keepin it real"

Posted by: muffy at June 25, 2009 11:52 PM (zplc6)

747 Just because it seems that a lot of people here have short memories.

I
want you to think back to what jackson and his lawyers did to that
family. How the absolutely destroyed them in the press. He and his
lawyers made them all out to be some gold digging welfare rats trying
to make a quick buck off some inoocent philanthropist.

When in fact the poor boy was just some normal kid that thought it was cool to go to a rich guys house and meet someone famous.

Fuck michael jackson, fuck him in is coke ulcerated nose hole.

Posted by: Rickshaw Jack at June 25, 2009 11:52 PM (10Zkn)

748 758 I don't run my site this way. You need to talk about creationism, get your numbers up.
Posted by: Charles Johnson

Oh FUCK! The missing link died today, bud! Game over!

Posted by: drillanwr at June 25, 2009 11:53 PM (Lpcy6)

749 who died?

Posted by: Jones at June 25, 2009 11:54 PM (KOkrW)

750 763 who died?
Posted by: Jones

Alice Ghostly ... Dude! Keep up, huh?!

Posted by: drillanwr at June 25, 2009 11:55 PM (Lpcy6)

751 How much for Jackson's remains?

Posted by: Elephant Man at June 25, 2009 11:56 PM (FhWAV)

752 from politico - a paid obama commenter - scary country this is turning into:

Would you trust the future of the planet to scientists who have
spent their lives studying the issue (skeptically studying the issue,
at that) or would you trust a few wingnuts ultimately funded by big oil
and big coal?
As for me I will pay the $175 and thank God that we finally have
elected patriotic Americans who are willing to allow American
leadership in renewable energy, instead of the Bush-era deniers,
willing to allow the country to lose out in the economic growthof this
century to protect the entrenched interests of last century.
The "saving the earth" bit is a bonus! As is ending the flow of billions of dollar/dayto the terrorists!
Tom
____________
The deniers furiously fuss, fume and foment while patriotic America
is rebuilding the country with renewable, reliable energy that doesnt
pollute this planet nor provide terrorists w/ money and nukes

Posted by: Anti-Harkonnen Freedom Fighter at June 25, 2009 11:56 PM (5r0Tz)

753 I have orders that a child be slain and buried with me.

Why do you think I always wore just one glove?

Posted by: Michael Jackson at June 25, 2009 11:59 PM (gcysp)

754 I demand to be last. In fact, I insist upon it. LAST. ME. ME.mememe.

There. My best impression of a troll.

Posted by: Derak at June 26, 2009 12:01 AM (7FwmQ)

755 It's official ... It was an honor killing.
Bubbles had enough of the whoring around MJ was doing

Posted by: drillanwr at June 26, 2009 12:04 AM (Lpcy6)

756 im going outside to dangle my newborn baby off a balcony to celebrate his life

Posted by: KurtTheInfidel at June 26, 2009 12:07 AM (jn4iq)

757 im going outside to dangle my newborn baby off a balcony to celebrate his life
I'll bet five bucks it won't bounce.

Posted by: Jonathon E. at June 26, 2009 12:09 AM (dQdrY)

758 "Joans fake ass pictures"

You mean someone finally figured that out?
Imagine that.....

Posted by: christmasghost at June 26, 2009 12:09 AM (aUut1)

759 I'll bet five bucks it won't bounce.
Ill take that bet. will be posting it on youtube in the morning

Posted by: KurtTheInfidel at June 26, 2009 12:12 AM (jn4iq)

760 Another fucking circus in LA ...
Have they finished cleaning up after the Lakers win yet?

Posted by: drillanwr at June 26, 2009 12:16 AM (Lpcy6)

761 @746: Ace died, too.
------
Wait? What? Ace was Jeff Goldblum? I guess that explains why we never saw them in the same room together.

Posted by: Anachronda at June 26, 2009 12:16 AM (f5hkO)

762 OK .... MUST Ellen be a Cover Girl spokes person?

Posted by: drillanwr at June 26, 2009 12:17 AM (Lpcy6)

763 Ellen who?

Posted by: Jonathon E. at June 26, 2009 12:20 AM (dQdrY)

764 Stable and dead is good. There's been far too many celeb zombies lately. The thought of a zombie Michael Jackson is pretty fucking scary.

Posted by: Purple Avenger at June 26, 2009 12:21 AM (9Ij7R)

765 Why, Ellen the bar maid of course.
http://bit.ly/wFn12

Posted by: KurtTheInfidel at June 26, 2009 12:24 AM (jn4iq)

766 Hey, they dragged poor Liz Taylor to the hospital after he died ... Someone tell those folks he didn't actaully hear Liz say 'good bye, you sick knob licker' ...

Posted by: drillanwr at June 26, 2009 12:25 AM (Lpcy6)

767 #730-I didn't know you posted at the bicycler's blog. He still lets you?
Muffy, if that is the chick then she is not too hot. Fact is, If you cut her hair all surburban chic( maybe a headband?), put her in a rich preppy chick outfit and waxed her brows, she would look a hell of a lot like Mrs. Sanford. Men run for the same types, don't they?
The "got your nose" post will win you time in hell, whoever wrote it, but was great. It might be the best here, but I still like Soylent Off-White, so jury is still out.
Whoever asked earlier, was Shep extra-special pussified today, then the answer is a resounding oh hell yeah! If there had a bus wreck involving Bette Midler and Cher with Kathy Griffin driving he would have been more freaked, sure, but this was way on up the scale, nonetheless.

Posted by: di butler at June 26, 2009 12:32 AM (tjdui)

768 Men run for the same types, don't they?
Hey, that's not true. My wife is a brunette, and I only rent red headed hookers.

Posted by: Jonathon E. at June 26, 2009 12:38 AM (dQdrY)

769 That looks just like Ellen Degeneres.

Posted by: Jonathon E. at June 26, 2009 12:39 AM (dQdrY)

770 So Death won by a nose, di butler?

Posted by: andycanuck at June 26, 2009 12:41 AM (8PGHt)

771 Fox News better not push off Red Eye for this shitty Michael Jackson shit. Yes, he's dead. He sang songs. It's surprising. And if he really was a pedophile, may the barbed cock of Satan do it's job without mercy.

Now give me my fucking Red Eye with Greg in 30 minutes.

Posted by: Brenden at June 26, 2009 01:32 AM (54lqZ)

772 784-yup, I think so. I am naming it Thread-winner.
785-no RedEye. Andy twittered it early last nite. I kinda love/hate Twitter, it is ghey, but you find out everything over there and quickly.Also, most of the ppl suck. Treacher is one of the only parts that make it worth it. That and laughing at Meghan McCain's self-involved dumbass tweets. Those rock.

Posted by: di butler at June 26, 2009 01:39 AM (tjdui)

773 Michael Jackson is going to be melted down and turned into Lego's so that little boys can play with him for a change.

Posted by: KennyM at June 26, 2009 01:39 AM (JsI0k)

774 I was/am not a big Michael fan. I have his Thriller album, only. I loved the Thriller song cause it also had Vincent Price's voice in it.
When I learned thatMichael had died, I was surprised and thought it was sad because he was not old....but that was about it.
I have a curiosity to know exactly what took him down.
What caused the heart attack, and what (if any) substances he had in his system.
This is certainly NOT on the same scale as Kennedy being assasinated.
*

Posted by: SB Smith at June 26, 2009 02:58 AM (W9xZH)

775 WTF?? I'm glad to see that the world's problems have all been solved and the only thing left to report is the death of a perverted child molester. News for the lowest common denominator.

Posted by: nraendowment at June 26, 2009 03:33 AM (wWJ1T)

776 Michael Jackson=freak.

Jacko the Whacko is gone!

Posted by: Picky at June 26, 2009 04:49 AM (3uwFe)

777 Fox should just play "man in the mirror" over footage of Iranians getting hacked to death. That way, both of these important, earth shattering stories get the coverage they need.

Posted by: The Drizzle at June 26, 2009 04:50 AM (fWnCD)

778 Eh. I didn't even like Thriller.

Posted by: FUBAR at June 26, 2009 04:54 AM (J5Srq)

779 I'm devastated.(s). One less obama voter.

Posted by: LtE113(Mike in Chicago) at June 26, 2009 05:16 AM (3NFq/)

780 The HA thread on MJ has almost 1250 comments.

What's wrong with you slacker morons?

On a related note, Geraldo attended MJ's autopsy and discovered Al Capone's treasure.

Breaking News: Shep is off the air and safely home now - Hagen Daz stock rises

I think it's safe to go back to FoxNews now - they are back on to the Sanford scandal with video of the Argentinian bimbo, and _finally_ tearfilled videos of celebs mourning Farrah.

The King is dead - long live the King One!

Posted by: Dysfunctional at June 26, 2009 06:36 AM (FTiH0)

781 Bring back the old SNL skit........and ferdinand franco's conition is still the same..... dead....

Posted by: rog at June 26, 2009 07:45 AM (qlIZh)

782 "The news "coverage" is pretty fukkin' pathetic. They have no shame. My country has become the home of Braindead and the land of the pop addled. Sickening."

I could only stomach about 1 hour of the Shep & Geraldo "Mourning MJ" Show last night. It's quite repulsive how these news vultures circle the carcass and talk non-stop about meaningless, repetitive gargabe. I swear, if I heard Shep talk one more time about how he was a high school student in '82 during MJ fever, I may have puked. They are such sensationalists. It was sickening.

Posted by: Twinks at June 26, 2009 07:48 AM (lFhCW)

783 So the guest asked Valerie "what give you hope" in the face of rising unemployment. She answered him with "you know robert, we talked about this" and then rambled on and said nothing. But the public trouncing was accomplished. Would you further challenge her after that?.

Posted by: muffy at June 26, 2009 07:50 AM (zplc6)

784 With MJ gone, that leaves 2 overly-emotional, sorta-black celebrities, whose styles I don't care for.
Theone from Minnesota hasn't done anything substantial (only symbolic) since 1999.
TheOne from Chicago's only useful contribution so far has been a medical infomercial on network TV.

Posted by: Roy at June 26, 2009 07:52 AM (cB77O)

785 The best part was watching Jermaine, The Black Jackson, have to actually say the words; "<em>Ronald Reagan</em> UCLA Medical Center".
He was choking.

Posted by: Winston Smith at June 26, 2009 07:54 AM (fgBfR)

786 I'm so sad that he had to leave my me behind.

Posted by: Little Boy Blue at June 26, 2009 07:55 AM (6kZI3)

787 Francisco Franco is still dead.

At least MJ has demonstrated the only way that hypocritical celebrities can actually reduce their carbon footprint. Algore should hold him high as an example.

Posted by: Alamo at June 26, 2009 07:57 AM (Mqupr)

788 I finally went to bed last night, and this morning I'm still dead.
Geez, its quiet here....

Posted by: Michael Jackson at June 26, 2009 08:07 AM (5V/kc)

789 He's been dead for weeks, but the Kenyan Teleprompter kept him on ice for a diversion during the Tax and fuck the American taxpayer vote.

Posted by: Sgt. Rock at June 26, 2009 08:14 AM (RmFRH)

790 "It's a story. You note it. You do a quick retrospective. You interview some friends. And then you move on."

Hogwash, Ace. This was one of the two or three biggest entertainers of the 20th century. I wouldn't be entirely surprised if NR and TNR did their biw/weekly covers on it.

Posted by: Knemon at June 26, 2009 08:20 AM (rwkiU)

791 I am a conservative and I watch Fox everyday. You people lambasting their coverage and making crude remarks are ridiculous. They had the best coverage on this, and sorry, I listen to Quinn, Beck, Rush and Hannity everyday so I didn't mind the break for once. The coverage is appropriate and he was the biggest entertainer since Elvis and his death was just as trajic and save the crude ass comments regarding him as well because they are pathetic also.

Posted by: Robert at June 26, 2009 08:35 AM (QispW)

792 Yeah, Robert, I'm a conservative too and I also crave being told every ten minutes that Michael Jackson is dead and listen to his old hits over and over. I never knew what I was missing! This is great!

FOX should have changed their format to the 'Michael Jackson is dead' Show years ago, if you ask me. I would have watched every day, all day.

Posted by: lauraw at June 26, 2009 08:40 AM (1JPbD)

793 Since I did both little boys and girls you could say I was biweekly!

Posted by: Michael Jackson at June 26, 2009 08:46 AM (gcysp)

794 I am a conservative little boy and this is not LGF, and you're not in charge CharlesRobert.

Posted by: Little Boy Blue at June 26, 2009 08:50 AM (6kZI3)

795
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Posted by: Hughie at June 26, 2009 08:50 AM (iGqcN)

796 The HA thread on MJ has almost 1250 comments.What's wrong with you slacker morons?
Until a very concerned Robert showed up, almost everyone here was mocking him. At HA I'm guessing many if not most are defending and/or blowing him. Thus the disparity in numbers of posts.

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Posted by: Little Kid Hiding Under Bed at June 26, 2009 09:01 AM (gcysp)

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Posted by: Bold Patriot at June 26, 2009 09:01 AM (smemM)

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Posted by: Lisa at June 26, 2009 09:38 AM (tncOu)

801 As a Conservative Christian myself, I am apalled by the hypocrisy here. Even Daily Kos and Democratic Underground are more respectful. The behavior of people here makes me seriously consider the benefits of celebrity pedophilia, and for the first time in my life I am going to die of a pointless drug overdose.

Posted by: Another Conservative Christian at June 26, 2009 09:56 AM (5V/kc)

802 815: We are giving Jackson exactly as much respect as he deserves.

Posted by: Kristopher at June 26, 2009 10:00 AM (EqbaN)

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If you want Vincent Price's voice on an album, get Alice Cooper's _Welcome To My Nightmare_ to hear Vincent's prolonged intro to "The Black Widow." Plus, the album totally kicks _Thriller's_ ass.

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Posted by: Booyah at June 26, 2009 10:37 AM (MqJKF)

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Posted by: David Letterman at June 26, 2009 11:55 AM (uymlc)

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Confirmation has just come in that Michael Jackson died of food poisoning - apparantly he ate some 1 year old nuts.....


Madonna has paid her respects to the Jackson family - and asked how much they want for the kids......


Apparently since the death of Michael Jackson his management have cancelled all his upcoming dates. They were Billy, 8, and Thomas, 11.



Reports say that Michael Jackson in fact died of shock after discovering that Boys2Men were a band, not a delivery service


An auction has already started for Michael Jacksons personal belongings with a bidding war erupting between Gary Glitter and The Catholic Church for MJ's little black book


The FBI has raided jackos house and found class A drugs in the kitchen, class b drugs in the living room and class 5c in the bedroom.


Today the Jackson family are in mourning after watching their brother die from heart failure. Apparently CPR isn't as easy as ABC.

strange that Farrah Fawcett and MJ died the same day one slept with majors, the other slept with minors

They are still no sure how MJ died but apparently they were showing him round a childrens hospital and he had a "stroke"

Mcdonalds tribute is the new mcjackson burger its a its a 50 year old piece of aged albino meat shoved between 8 year old buns.

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Posted by: lowfibass at June 26, 2009 01:47 PM (T1ZAZ)

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................................................crickets chirping............

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