Jay Mohr Goes There: Michelle Obama's a Man, Baby

The sniping starts at around 1:54.


Michelle Obama—that is a big dude. When Barack plays pick up games at the White House, you know he picks Michelle as his forward, maybe his (center) depending on who’s in Congress that day.”

“That has to be like being married to Elton Brand. She is a big dude.”

That's NBA forward Elton Brand.

Supermodel Iman, by the way, said of Michelle Obama, she's "no great beauty.

From gossip site The Frisky, which finds all of this horrible and grossly disrespectful and all that.

The problem is this: When the MSM and tabloids push the absurd idea that Michelle Obama is one of the most beautiful women on the face of the earth, eveh, comedians, whose job it is to call bullshit on bullshit, are going to vent the politically incorrect truth. Which is also their job.

No one would be saying this, really, if it wasn't being insisted 24/7 that Michelle Obama is a supermodel. As I've said, if the media merely limited the comments on her appearance to the courteous, obligatory, and occasional claim of "beautiful" -- fine, whatever. All first ladies eventually get called beautiful, by someone.

It's the constant demand that we accept a glaring falsehood as a truth which must not be contradicted that pretty much begins demanding contradiction.

Jay Mohr has kinda destroyed his career before -- he got nailed for stupidly ripping off a comic's bit for an SNL sketch "he" wrote. (He has admitted this and apologized for it; he talks about it in Gasping for Airtime, which is also the book that hipped me on to my panic disorder.)

I hope he knows what he's doing. As Marcus Brody says, "You're trifling with forces you cannot possibly comprehend."

Thanks to gg.

Jay Mohr RIP: Since the media is about to destroy him, might as well relive one of his finer moments. Jay Mohr, doing Christopher Walken, pitching Skittles candy.


Posted by: Ace at 05:55 PM



Comments

1 As Marcus Brody says, "You're trifling with forces you cannot possibly comprehend."

I thought that was Riley Martin. That crazy black guy who used to appear on Howard Stern every now and then.

Posted by: Stu Pidd at May 20, 2009 05:57 PM (/Rs6s)

2 Maybe the people talking about how awesomer! the Gilded Wookie looks, are also subscribers to Ka'Plah! The Definitive Magazine of the High Council?

Posted by: UncleFacts at May 20, 2009 06:00 PM (vZVv7)

3 michelle o can be pretty photogenic at times, and is definitely fashionable...far more than pretty much any first lady we've ever had

but i agree she isn't some supermodel.

Posted by: palin steele at May 20, 2009 06:00 PM (VDj74)

4 Mohr is "more" fucked than anyone in the celebrity media world at this moment.

poor guy.

Posted by: Anti-Harkonnen Freedom Fighter at May 20, 2009 06:00 PM (5r0Tz)

5 Evveerrone! Talk about me again!

Posted by: palin steele at May 20, 2009 06:02 PM (kIjlp)

6 Michelle O is definitely not another Eleanor Roosevelt, but all this fawning over her arms and shit is getting pretty disgusting.

Posted by: TXMarko at May 20, 2009 06:02 PM (edYLE)

7 the Gilded Wookie

lol, very funny

Posted by: ECM at May 20, 2009 06:03 PM (q3V+C)

8 She's a perfectly okay looking woman. Flaws here and there, of course. The good side of average, I guess.

But we usually don't insist until we're blue in the face that "the good side of average" is ravenously beautiful.


Posted by: ace at May 20, 2009 06:04 PM (gEsIJ)

9 I should provide evidence of my comparison.

Here is Eleanor Roosevelt. Geesh.

Posted by: TXMarko at May 20, 2009 06:05 PM (edYLE)

10 Admittedly, Bess Truman is a better pick for "Most Beautiful Liberal First Lady", but Michelle O'Bambi does place a distant second.

Posted by: Fish at May 20, 2009 06:05 PM (FnA4R)

11 Anyone remember that Mother's Day paean from the Washington Post? Look, it ain't my fault Obama married Aunt Bunny. Gooney Goo Goo.

Posted by: sears poncho at May 20, 2009 06:06 PM (uj/0b)

12 Hey, if David Axelrod Goebbels can call Miss California a dog, then I guess the First Wookie is fair game.
Their rules, right?

Posted by: Warden at May 20, 2009 06:06 PM (QoR4a)

13 definitely fashionable...far more than pretty much any first lady we've ever had

Fuck you.

Posted by: Jackie Kennedy at May 20, 2009 06:06 PM (uWLhV)

14 When Axelrod thinks than Michelle Obama is one of the most stunning beauties in the country, and that Ms. California is a dog....what is he smoking?

Answer: Axelrod smokes pole.

Posted by: wooga at May 20, 2009 06:07 PM (2p0e3)

15 At least I didn't wear the Oval Office drapes on Inauguration Day.

Posted by: Jackie Kennedy at May 20, 2009 06:07 PM (uWLhV)

16 Nor do we try to claim that after hundreds of years that she's the most fashionable First Lady this country has ever seen. If that's fashion, it's no wonder Perez Hilton is a judge for beauty pageants.

The world has turned upside down when Miss California is an ugly dog and Michelle O. is the most gorgeous first lady evar!

Posted by: Brenden at May 20, 2009 06:08 PM (54lqZ)

17 please jay dont apologize for telling everyone that the first wookie is not all dat!

Posted by: Assman at May 20, 2009 06:08 PM (t5YAE)

18 The fashionable Michelle Obama on one occasion wore a bumble bee outfit which made a statement about her personality.

Posted by: Fish at May 20, 2009 06:09 PM (FnA4R)

19 At least I didn't wear the Oval Office drapes on Inauguration Day.
I should've been so lucky.

Posted by: Aretha Franklin at May 20, 2009 06:10 PM (jMk+v)

20 Carla Bruni and Sarkozy share a smile. (And somehow I doubt the French president's dog is named "NS".)

Posted by: andycanuck at May 20, 2009 06:11 PM (MB+jN)

21 Just my opinion and I am no liberal - Jackie Kennedy was the most fashionable and attractive first lady we have had. Michelle Obama is better than average looking, sure, and fairly attractive with the right makeup and clothes for her body shape, as are all women when they put some effort into their appearance. But she is no raving beauty nor iconic in her fashion sense, and all the fawning from the media is quite ridiculous.

Posted by: IC at May 20, 2009 06:12 PM (jZNCU)

22 When morons are confronted with the choice of hitting either Aunt Jemima or Michelle Obama, over 98% of the MoronBrigade chooses auntie, and the 2% should be ashamed.

Posted by: Fish at May 20, 2009 06:14 PM (FnA4R)

23 "When morons are confronted with the choice of hitting either Aunt Jemima or Michelle Obama, over 98% of the MoronBrigade chooses auntie, and the 2% should be ashamed."

morons indeed...

Posted by: palin steele at May 20, 2009 06:15 PM (VDj74)

24
What's this, seven posts on Michelle Obama's looks? Eight? I lose count honestly.

We get it. You don't find Michelle Obama all that attractive. You do realize 99% of the fawning things you read about Michelle's style and arms and whatnot are written by women and gay men right? No one cares if you or Jay Mohr want to sleep with her. People can actually admire a person for how they carry themselves and how they present themselves given what they have to work with. Michelle is not Halle Berry. I assume most people would admit this.

Then again George Bush and Bill Clinton weren't exactly George Clooney and people often wrote about how hansome they were as well. And don't get me started on JFK.


Posted by: seattle slough at May 20, 2009 06:15 PM (H5l9d)

25 No one would be saying this, really, if it wasn't being insisted 24/7 that Michelle Obama is a supermodel.
She is on the Home World and that's good enough for me.

Posted by: Gravity Dick at May 20, 2009 06:15 PM (ewXBY)

26 22 When morons are confronted with the choice of hitting either Aunt Jemima or Michelle Obama, over 98% of the MoronBrigade chooses auntie, and the 2% should be ashamed.

You get breakfast in the morning too!

Posted by: single stack at May 20, 2009 06:16 PM (/Rs6s)

27 I always thought jackie o was overrated. her face was just weird looking to me.

nancy reagan and laura bush are both blandly goodlooking...with their stepford smiles.

personally, I think hilary is far prettier than michelle.

Posted by: palin steele at May 20, 2009 06:16 PM (VDj74)

28 Wow, really like the link to the Frisky Breeder/Man Hater site...

ME-ow!!!

Oh..wait...that should be 'What the fuck are you looking at you Goddamn Cock Oppressor??'

Posted by: BigWyo at May 20, 2009 06:16 PM (zNeJ0)

29 I saw an image of Michelle on a used piece of toilet paper, I swear it looked just like her. Maybe I should have sold it on Ebay

Posted by: Todd at May 20, 2009 06:17 PM (RNwpX)

30 You do realize 99% of the fawning things you read about Michelle's style and arms and whatnot are written by women and gay men right?

It is almost like women and gay men are obsessed with looks or something.

Posted by: Hoe Moe at May 20, 2009 06:18 PM (/Rs6s)

31 Ace-
So what skit did he rip off? On YouTube?

Posted by: CozMark at May 20, 2009 06:19 PM (klUBn)

32 "Then again George Bush and Bill Clinton weren't exactly George Clooney
and people often wrote about how hansome they were as well. And don't
get me started on JFK."

clinton is quite handsome, although not in the classical sense. he's got a dopey harrison ford quality...but clinton was tall and had (still has) a great head of hair that richard gere would be jealous of

george bush was quite handsome in his younger days...and in spite of his silly mannerisms, was a good looking man

JFK, before being bloated, was very goodlooking.

Posted by: palin steele at May 20, 2009 06:19 PM (VDj74)

33 Hoe moe, everyone, not just women and gay men, are obsessed with looks. we're a superficial creature.

Posted by: palin steele at May 20, 2009 06:20 PM (VDj74)

34 On a trip to visit the troops at a mobile hospitalin Iraq with Michelle, we ended up crouched down in a tent, terrified from the shells that were falling all around us. The mutual embrace of fear led to a tender kiss shared between us that was the highlight of my life.
We kept it a secret from the wisecracking surgeons and the cross-dressing Lebanese orderly, but the memory will remain forever.

Posted by: Joe Biden at May 20, 2009 06:22 PM (rf03a)

35 On a trip to visit the troops at a mobile hospitalin Iraq with Michelle, we ended up crouched down in a tent, terrified from the shells that were falling all around us. The mutual embrace of fear led to a tender kiss shared between us that was the highlight of my life

LIAR! You're not Joe Biden! Jo Biden would never be "terrified," just inconvenienced.

Posted by: Pants on Fire at May 20, 2009 06:23 PM (/Rs6s)

36 "JFK, before being bloated, was very goodlooking."
I always had a thing for William Howard Taft, myself.

Posted by: Dr. Carlo Lombardi at May 20, 2009 06:24 PM (VZBqk)

37 I admit that Michelle Obama s not supermodel material, but seeing her on the cover of Duck Hunters International was proof of her wide spread appeal.

Posted by: Fish at May 20, 2009 06:24 PM (FnA4R)

38 When Jay Mohr hosts the Jim Rome show it's the only time that it's worth listening to because Mohr had me laughing so hard the last time he was on that I was just about in tears while driving. Rome is a pc little jock-sniffing knob that gets off on being able to converse with real athletes. His "interviews" are just as bad as dipshit Letterman's but in a different way; he slobbers all over whoever his guest is and then spends the following half hour selecting calls from his sycophants about how great they were (employng and excellent screener so no discouraging word can get through). My guess is that Mohr will be unwelcome on the show after this; if I'm wrong then good for Rome for the first time in his miserable cocksucking life.

Posted by: Captain Hate at May 20, 2009 06:25 PM (Vlq0g)

39 palin steele- you related to steely dan by chance?


Posted by: buster mcDissenter at May 20, 2009 06:25 PM (6aPb6)

40 LIAR! You're not Joe Biden! Jo Biden would never be "terrified," just inconvenienced.
Well, maybe not terrified, but definitely worried. Do you have any idea what an artillery shell can do to hair folicle implants?

Posted by: Joe Biden at May 20, 2009 06:27 PM (rf03a)

41 Where were palin steele and seattle slough the other day when pelosi was steppin' all over her own dick? Were both you girls tossin' salad that day or what?

Posted by: pendejo grande at May 20, 2009 06:27 PM (PXZI9)

42 I hear that Martha Washington was a smokin hottie.

Posted by: MAJ O at May 20, 2009 06:28 PM (bQ4oU)

43 On a trip to visit the troops at a mobile hospitalin Iraq with
Michelle, we ended up crouched down in a tent, terrified from the
shells that were falling all around us. The mutual embrace of fear led
to a tender kiss shared between us to that enormous, shovel-like lower jaw yawing open and swalloing my head...whole, that was the highlight of my life.

Really..that's what gives me the giant wood...

Posted by: BigWyo at May 20, 2009 06:28 PM (zNeJ0)

44 uh pandejo, i don't religiously follow this board like you do...sorry if i missed a post

and the whole pelosi affair is nonsense...she's not a good off the cuff speaker

Posted by: palin steele at May 20, 2009 06:29 PM (VDj74)

45 Michelle Obama—that is a big dude.
Just thinking outside the box here now, but...what if Jay Mohr's not wrong.

Posted by: Cyn at May 20, 2009 06:29 PM (cxzu3)

46 "The good side of average, I guess."

Dude, now you're going too far to "fairness".

She's definitely on the ugly side of average.

Posted by: someone at May 20, 2009 06:30 PM (1wXl7)

47 We get it. You don't find Michelle Obama all that attractive. You do
realize 99% of the fawning things you read about Michelle's style and
arms and whatnot are written by women and gay men right?


Damn, Seattle Slough just called Palin Steele gay...........
Hey, Slough, how about those military comissions. Looks like the CiC isn't going to be closing Gitmo any time soon, either.

Posted by: sears poncho at May 20, 2009 06:30 PM (uj/0b)

48 It's about time somebody aside from us in the righty blogosphere pointed this out. She looks like a dinosaur with a hunk of tarp thrown over it. That forehead is the size of Montana!
She looks decent for her age......but hot.......no freaking way!

Posted by: MM at May 20, 2009 06:30 PM (hhqqN)

49 "Michelle is not Halle Berry. I assume most people would admit this."
One would assume, in light of all the evidence. And yet Michelle makes "most attractive" lists she has no business being anywhere near.

Posted by: Sobek at May 20, 2009 06:31 PM (UefZl)

50 We kept it a secret from the wisecracking surgeons and the cross-dressing Lebanese orderly, but the memory will remain forever.
I'm pretty sureBiden would have said wisecracking sturgeons. Just a hunch. Probably flashbacks to the Dean Martin show.

Posted by: sherlock at May 20, 2009 06:33 PM (L4jPh)

51 And although I'm impressed that Mohr had the stones to go there, his material was not funny.

Posted by: Sobek at May 20, 2009 06:33 PM (UefZl)

52 sobek, alot of people make most attractive lists who don't fit the 'classical definition of brad pitt/angelina" beauty

the attractive lists list people who are wellput together...and michelle is wellput together

Posted by: palin steele at May 20, 2009 06:34 PM (VDj74)

53
obama said it best --

YOU CAN PUT LIPSTICK ON A PIG BUT IN THE END ALL YOU HAVE IS A PIG WITH LIPSTICK.

Posted by: sickinmass at May 20, 2009 06:35 PM (/i4dU)

54 Michelle always wore patent leather shoes in grade school hoping the boys would sneak a peek. She's still waiting.

Posted by: Fish at May 20, 2009 06:35 PM (FnA4R)

55 Me and a friend were staying in a hotel room together (strictly business you smartasses) one night and Jay Mohr was on HBO doing stand up. And one of his routines was about how much trust we place in a bar of soap. We expect it to be clean enough to wash our face with, but the truth is that it's been in our mom's armpits and dad's ass and sister's pooter pryor to us washing our face with it. Doesn't sound real damne funny as I type it, but I can assure you it was some funny shit. The next morning my roomate sets an alarm for about 30 minutes before I was planning on getting up and showers. He gives me a knowing grin as he's toweling off. I didn't use any soap during my shower, just rinsed off. I hope thenancyboys that run the entertainment industry don't bust him down to Norm McDonald status over this one.

Posted by: pendejo grande at May 20, 2009 06:35 PM (PXZI9)

56 Awwww, c'moff it allready. Michelle is one fugly bitch and not because she's black either, fugly comes in all color's. No shame in admitting it, she's not someones ugly as fuck newborn kid, so no need to play nice and act like it's the cutest baby you've ever seen.. I've seen better looking grill's on worktruck's.

With that said,...... yea,..... I'd still hit it.

Posted by: Blazer at May 20, 2009 06:35 PM (AoS9J)

57 Someone posted a picture of young Martha Washington the other day, and she was very beautiful. Beautiful in the real sense, not the polite sense. Like a really young, slightly prettier Diane Lane.
I just don't find Michelle Obama attractive in the least. It's not so much a pretty/ugly thing as it is that she looks perpetually angry, like she's always scowling. Always. I really don't like her looks.
Oh, Nancy Reagan was lovely when she was younger, too. And Jane Wyman, though she never made it to First Lady. Most of the recent First Ladies I would describe as ... very elegant. And leave it at that. Jackie Kennedy, like Princess Diana, was not a pretty woman, either, but she had great fashion sense and a graceful manner, and those two traits go a long way.

Posted by: Ella at May 20, 2009 06:36 PM (huf8h)

58 the attractive lists list people who are wellput together...and michelle is wellput together
Then why aren't they called "well put-together lists"?
And why does an Ivy League genius such as yourself think that wellput is a word?

Posted by: Warden at May 20, 2009 06:37 PM (QoR4a)

59 everyone, not just women and gay men, are obsessed with looks
But, obviously,not PS's 'girlfriend'.

Posted by: stalin pale at May 20, 2009 06:38 PM (MB+jN)

60 "With that said,...... yea,..... I'd still hit it."

lol

Posted by: palin steele at May 20, 2009 06:38 PM (VDj74)

61 You do realize 99% of the fawning things you read about Michelle's style and arms and whatnot are written by women and gay men right?
Posted by: seattle slough at May 20, 2009 06:15 PM (H5l9d)


to which category do you belong? w-w-w-wait- third category: ball-licking sycophant

Posted by: Jones at May 20, 2009 06:38 PM (KOkrW)

62 Just to clarify: I don't think Michelle Obama has good fashion sense or grace. I need to ward palin steele off at the pass here.

Posted by: Ella at May 20, 2009 06:39 PM (huf8h)

63 Dolly Madison was a hottie

Posted by: Jones at May 20, 2009 06:39 PM (KOkrW)

64 "And why does an Ivy League genius such as yourself think that wellput is a word?"

whatever, you know what i meant

Posted by: palin steele at May 20, 2009 06:39 PM (VDj74)

65 alot of people make most attractive lists who don't fit the 'classical definition of brad pitt/angelina" beauty

Point out one other clomping mule on Maxim's Hot 100 list, then.

Posted by: Waterhouse at May 20, 2009 06:39 PM (uWLhV)

66 Posted by: pendejo grande at May 20, 2009 06:35 PM (PXZI9)

Dude, get some bodywash in a plastic bottle. Homo.

Posted by: Dropped the Soap at May 20, 2009 06:40 PM (/Rs6s)

67 "I don't think Michelle Obama has good fashion sense or grace."

then you are in a terribly small minority.

Posted by: palin steele at May 20, 2009 06:41 PM (VDj74)

68 Idiots- How dare youimply that the savior of the world would have anything less than the most beautiful womanever to be bornon earth as his wife.

Posted by: lan sing at May 20, 2009 06:41 PM (cEOZd)

69 You know she beats the crap out of Barry when they are alone.

"Barry, do you think my eyebrows look.....I dunno....angry? Like they say in all those bloggy thingies?"

"Huh? What's that Chelly?"

"The Bloggy thingies and the angry eyebrows...they say they look angry..do you think they're angry?"

"Your eyebrows? What?"

"Angry"

"Angry?....ah now c'mon they don't look angry they look like eyebrows....you know...unless you are angry, then.."

"WHAT?"

"Uh...look....I think that uh...You see what Limbaugh said about me??"

.....


Posted by: JavaJoe at May 20, 2009 06:41 PM (Am6n/)

70 Jay Mohr's a Jersey guy and some of us do like to tell the blunt truth. OK, granted, I started in the Bronx but I imported my wit over here with me.

Posted by: JWF at May 20, 2009 06:41 PM (1l37M)

71 63 Dolly Madison was a hottie
Posted by: Jones at May 20, 2009 06:39 PM (KOkrW) Let's see a link!
--and I wonder if she was a Virginian as well?

Posted by: logprof at May 20, 2009 06:41 PM (tjUml)

72 5 Evveerrone! Talk about me again!
Posted by: palin steele at May 20, 2009
You got it shithead.
I see you as the skinny, pimply,piece of turd on the grade school playground that use to get his ass kicked every other day just for being an obnoxious stupid fuck. I see you as the dork who handed over his lunch money every day cause he was too weak and stupid to stand up for himself.
I see you now as the older version of this frightened, insecure pathetic kid on the playground. You are all for so-called "torture" and capital punishment, not because of any basic moral argument of human rights and sovereignty when it comes to self-preservation, but because you get off on finally getting a chance to get even with the world.
On any other issue of importance you go along with whatever to be kool, to be part of the in-crowd. Wishing you were something better, in the closet you masturbate to one of thousands of pictures of Obama while masquerading your credentials in public as a "man of reason".
So lacking any redeemable social skills, you come anonymously to the AoSHQ and repeat the mistakes you have been making all of your life.
Have I got that about right? Yeah.

Posted by: Gravity Dick at May 20, 2009 06:42 PM (ewXBY)

73 "Point out one other clomping mule on Maxim's Hot 100 list, then."

wait, michelle obama maid maxim's 100 list?

that's a bit farfetched if true.

but an example would be oprah making people's beautiful issue.

Posted by: palin steele at May 20, 2009 06:42 PM (VDj74)

74 uh pandejo, i don't religiously follow this board like you do...sorry if i missed a postand the whole pelosi affair is nonsense...she's not a good off the cuff speaker
Nope. You just showed up a couple of days ago and now you can't quit us.
Yeah publicly calling dedicated public servants who are tasked with some of the most important jobs in the country liars because that's the only way you can make it appear that you're not anpathetic fuckingliar should rightly be labeled 'nonsense'. Just a simple malaprop if you will. She's the fuckin' Yogi Berra of politics.
Calling you a fucking tool is an insult to fucking.As well as tomost tools.

Posted by: pendejo grande at May 20, 2009 06:42 PM (PXZI9)

75 @67: why, palin steele, I'm proud of you For the First Time in My Life!

Posted by: Michelle Obama at May 20, 2009 06:43 PM (iafWn)

76 "All first ladies eventually get called beautiful, by someone." How true, Ace. Why just the other day, I saw a comment here on this blog that said that Eleanor Roosevelt was hotter than Michelle. I wonder if Jay Mohr is a closet conservative. The comment he made in addressing the extra lbs. he's put on, something aboutgrowing older, maturing, having kids "accountability and credibility sort of weighs you down". I wouldn't be surprised if he finds himself getting a big fat IRS audit (along with the Pres.et al from ASU).Poor Jay, he's going to be in for a world ofhurt. No one messes with the First Wookie without some kind of Hell to pay (and that doesn't even include the face beating he'll be taking from the media). Obama has the thinnest skin of anyWhite House inhabitant. I'm sure Jay's comments will be duly noted.

Posted by: runningrn at May 20, 2009 06:43 PM (aC/SY)

77 Gravity Dick just dicked palin steele in the squeekhole.

Posted by: Fish at May 20, 2009 06:43 PM (FnA4R)

78 I've heard that Michelle has trouble getting movie roles because she is too hot.

Posted by: Jessica B at May 20, 2009 06:44 PM (5yytL)

79 Have always loved the smackoff. Iray Craig, where are you!!

Posted by: JDW at May 20, 2009 06:44 PM (+WJgT)

80 And I say good for Jay Mohr for pushing back against the Michelle worship. Of course, sometime tonight Jay will be grabbed up by large men in dark suits, who will place a burlap sack over his head before tossing him in the back of a non-descript van. Days from now, Jay will be 'found' at the bottom of a ravine along the PCH, having 'driven off the road' to his 'death'.

Posted by: Jones at May 20, 2009 06:45 PM (KOkrW)

81 Leonardo Da Vinci thought Mona Lisa was beautiful.

Now who the hell here agree's with him ?


Yea, that's what I thought.

Posted by: Blazer at May 20, 2009 06:45 PM (AoS9J)

82 Michelle is hot. I love it when she straps on a banana dildo and shoves it up my ass.

Posted by: Magilla Gorilla at May 20, 2009 06:45 PM (1kwr2)

83
Things sure have changed for America.
We now have a First Lady and President, who have gone
to church week after week just to hear how much the Black
Community Hates America and hates "Whitey".
All of this hate of America, All this hate of Whitey, all of this Envy, is simply oozeing out through the pores of Michelle Obama day after day and week after week and keeps twisting her further into the fugly hole.

Just look at the looks of Democrat commentators (p0s) and leaders like Pelosi
and Harry Reed. I say their mates deserve to wake up to them every morning.

Posted by: sickinmass at May 20, 2009 06:46 PM (/i4dU)

84 anyone see the smackdown jesse ventura gave bush asskisser hannity...it's awesome pwnage.

Posted by: palin steele at May 20, 2009 06:46 PM (VDj74)

85 hey, how do I quote people?

Posted by: palin steele at May 20, 2009 06:47 PM (VDj74)

86 Preferably in English.

Posted by: Fish at May 20, 2009 06:48 PM (FnA4R)

87
"the attractive lists list people who are wellput together...and michelle is wellput together"

Oh,I get it. 'palin steele is a random 'straight line' generator.

Posted by: Dr. Carlo Lombardi at May 20, 2009 06:48 PM (VZBqk)

88 77
Gravity Dick just dicked palin steele in the squeekhole.

That was indeed beautiful...and sums up 95% of all liberals...

WOW...just....wow...

Posted by: BigWyo at May 20, 2009 06:49 PM (zNeJ0)

89 "That was indeed beautiful...and sums up 95% of all liberals...

WOW...just....wow..."

wipe that dribble off your chin

Posted by: palin steele at May 20, 2009 06:50 PM (VDj74)

90 Slam Man is usually very funny. Hope he survives this foray into unknown territory. He is one brave dude.

Posted by: nikkolai at May 20, 2009 06:51 PM (G8d+5)

91 85
hey, how do I quote people?

Just type in 'I am a sniveling Cock Holster' and run around your chair 3 times with a hunk of cheese crammed up your ass...that should do it.

Posted by: BigWyo at May 20, 2009 06:52 PM (zNeJ0)

92 Sorry it's "Dolley" Madison (with an E) and she was born in North Carolina

Posted by: Jones at May 20, 2009 06:52 PM (KOkrW)

93 whatever, you know what i meant
Posted by: palin steele
I heard that they're totally cool with wrong answers ingrad school ... just so long as the professor"knows what you meant".
Enjoy your job as 2nd shift manager at Burger King.

Posted by: Warden at May 20, 2009 06:53 PM (QoR4a)

94 The MSM is pushing the meme that Meechelle is an ultra hottie. Well, Gail Collins and Helen Thomas are in the MSM.

Nuff said.

Posted by: Blazer at May 20, 2009 06:53 PM (AoS9J)

95 Terrance from Sierra Madre is the best clone to never win the smackoff.

Posted by: nikkolai at May 20, 2009 06:55 PM (G8d+5)

96 For the record, Jay Mohr referred to Dennis Miller as anUnfunnyRight Wing Jerk. So, if they try to pound the kid, you can be sure Mohr will remind people of that.

Posted by: JDW at May 20, 2009 06:57 PM (+WJgT)

97 92
Sorry it's "Dolley" Madison (with an E) and she was born in North Carolina

Broad makes some really good cake......

Posted by: BigWyo at May 20, 2009 06:58 PM (zNeJ0)

98 63
Dolly Madison was a hottie
and she made one hell of a cupcake, from what I hear.

Posted by: UncleFacts at May 20, 2009 07:01 PM (vZVv7)

99 I'm not worried for Jay Mohr. Sure, there will be the predictible disingenuous "backlash". But then, there willbe a backlash to the backlash in favor of Mohr having the courageto make fun. In fact, comics, even Obama fanboys like Maher and Stewart, will rally to Mohr's side if the media try to destroy him.

Posted by: JDW at May 20, 2009 07:03 PM (+WJgT)

100 Someone needs to take all the paintings/ photos of the first ladies, (when they where in their late twenties for fairness) and sort them by party affiliation. What was that quote by PJ O'Rourke?

Posted by: Cincinnatus at May 20, 2009 07:06 PM (K5AMb)

101 Just a reset - someone at the top of the thread referred to MO as
"The Gilded Wookie".
It was funny at #2. And it's funny now at #100+

Posted by: JDW at May 20, 2009 07:08 PM (+WJgT)

102 "The Gilded Wookie".


I guess that makes her a real looker Wooker.

Posted by: Blazer at May 20, 2009 07:10 PM (AoS9J)

103 Michelle Obama is pretty attractive, if you find Patrick Ewing in drag to be an attractive concept.

Posted by: T. AKA Ricky Raw at May 20, 2009 07:13 PM (w+Fw3)

104 Hey guys. Enough about me. Let's talk about me some more.

One thing morons can't get enough of is?????

YES! ME!

Posted by: palin steele at May 20, 2009 07:14 PM (kIjlp)

105 Dolley Madison was good-looking.
Another reason James was one of our greatest presidents.

Posted by: logprof at May 20, 2009 07:14 PM (tjUml)

106 Michelle Obama is pretty attractive, if you find Patrick Ewing in drag to be an attractive concept.


I agree, on our Klingon homeworld of Kronos she is considered to be quite a fetching specimen.

Posted by: Kahless at May 20, 2009 07:18 PM (AoS9J)

107 70 Jay Mohr's a Jersey guy and some of us do like to tell the blunt truth. OK, granted, I started in the Bronx but I imported my wit over here with me.
Go back, you fucking stunad!

Posted by: Sal in Lodi at May 20, 2009 07:21 PM (/Rs6s)

108 Warden, you mock all 2nd shift managers at Burger King for no reason by comparing them to Palin Steele, and I'm ashamed to be associated with you sir. Sir, you should apologize sir before you sir have those same standards placed right on you sir. How dare you sir! How DARE you! I'll have you know I worked at Burger King while I was going to my Cow College, and I've got my Employee of the Month Certificate to prove it! How dare you sir!


Posted by: K. Olbermann at May 20, 2009 07:24 PM (54lqZ)

109 Turns out Martha Washington wasn't so bad in her younger years: http://tinyurl.com/plvt77

Posted by: Girl Thursday at May 20, 2009 07:24 PM (npDwD)

110 toby the beagle says he wouldn't hit it.

Posted by: paranoid polly at May 20, 2009 07:27 PM (YLNjm)

111 I wouldn't fuck Michelle Obama with Michelle Obama's dick.

Seriously, tho, after last fall, the chicks have no biz weighing in on this one. Not even Maddow.

Posted by: BuddyPC at May 20, 2009 07:30 PM (nSkOL)

112 #44 says: and the whole pelosi affair is nonsense...she's not a good off the cuff speaker
Huh. She's not a very good reader of lies, either. She couldn't even remember what her "statement du jour" was last Thursday during that bizarre press conference; she had to refer to her notes.

Posted by: jana at May 20, 2009 07:30 PM (vSRlG)

113 Michelle Obama is pretty attractive, if you find Patrick Ewing in drag to be an attractive concept.


Not even if you spread all of the Peanut Butter in Rosie O'Donkey's kitchen on it.

Posted by: Tobie The Beagle at May 20, 2009 07:31 PM (AoS9J)

114 I'm not one for mocking anyone's appearance. I'm not even sure it should be done here. If it isn't indecent, it's because the CULT OF PERSONALITY that is Obama needs to be punctured/destroyed/demolished. And, well, MO has not be forced to appear on all those moronic magazine covers, so she is not a completely innocent bystander.


Posted by: flooflyparisparamus at May 20, 2009 07:33 PM (gP59u)

115 that rev wright loving bitch is ugly on the inside and outside

Posted by: pby at May 20, 2009 07:35 PM (TsRLp)

116 Hey logprof, you still digitizing your music collection?

Posted by: OregonMuse at May 20, 2009 07:36 PM (wQE87)

117 Democrat Women:
Barbara Mikulski
Helen Thomas
Barbra Streisand
Rosie O'Donnell
Hillary Clinton
Monica Lewinsky
Bwaney Fwank
___________________________________________________________
Republican Women:
Bo Derek
Ann Coulter
Megyn Kelly
Monica Crowley
Laura Bush
Laura Ingraham
Michelle Malkin


Posted by: Fish at May 20, 2009 07:39 PM (FnA4R)

118 111 I wouldn't fuck Michelle Obama with Michelle Obama's dick.

Posted by: BuddyPC at May 20, 2009 07:30 PM (nSkOL),/i>

Which brings us to one of CoolCzech's favorite Life's Little Rules.

I call it the Rule of Thumb. To wit: if it's longer than your thumb, it's NOT a clit.

Just sayin'.

Posted by: CoolCzech at May 20, 2009 07:40 PM (iafWn)

119 @117: Barney is NOT a "woman," he's a semi-transgendered, self-emasculated flaming fag.

Just wanted to set the record straight...

Posted by: CoolCzech at May 20, 2009 07:42 PM (iafWn)

120
Republican Women:

Bo Derek

Ann Coulter

Megyn Kelly

Monica Crowley

Laura Bush

Laura Ingraham

Michelle Malkin


Democratic Women:
jessica biel
angelina jolie
scarlett johannson
virtually any and all hotties, most porn stars, etc

Posted by: palin steele at May 20, 2009 07:46 PM (VDj74)

121 There's a reason why NOW is the National Organization for Ugly Women.

Posted by: Brenden at May 20, 2009 07:48 PM (54lqZ)

122 Democratic Women:jessica bielangelina joliescarlett johannsonvirtually any and all hotties, most porn stars, etc



Next time, could you post a Dem woman I'm not liable to catch v.d. from ? kthnx : )

Posted by: Tobie The Beagle at May 20, 2009 07:49 PM (AoS9J)

123 uh, brendan, NOW isn't spelled NOUW genius

Posted by: palin steele at May 20, 2009 07:49 PM (VDj74)

124 tobie, you dont have to worry about catching a v.d. you have to make actual contact with de wimen to do so.

Posted by: palin steele at May 20, 2009 07:50 PM (VDj74)

125 Betty Crocker is doing a photo spread on Michelle next month, and they rave about her gorilla cookies.

Posted by: nickless at May 20, 2009 07:51 PM (MMC8r)

126 You're a fucking dumbass you little cockholster. First you can't take a joke, and you can't even spell my name right when it's right in front of your pimple-filled face so your Ivy-League spelling skills don't necessarily make me believe you know what the hell you're talking about.

Posted by: Brenden at May 20, 2009 07:53 PM (54lqZ)

127 What? Not a single pic of Iman for comparison?
As for Iman's comment: I laughed my ass off.
I couldn't help but applaud Iman for being the first public figure (to my knowledge) to reveal that the emperor was marching butt naked down Pennsylvania Avenue.
Seattle, as for the men not comparing to Clooney...You perhaps meant to say that, 'in your opinion" they don't compare to Clooney.
Many women, myself included, do not find Clooney even remotely handsome.
Not now. Not last year. Not when he was screwing around with Jo from Facts of Life.
I think the Clooney always manages to look both somewhat dirty and unkempt as well as...well, smarmy.
GW, in my opinion, was far more handsome as a young man than was Clooney. Hell, he's a far more attractive man now than is Clooney.
Clooney's smugness doesn't help one bit.

Posted by: jmflynny at May 20, 2009 07:53 PM (aBS12)

128 I think Michelle Obama is stunningly beautiful.


Posted by: Sasquatch at May 20, 2009 07:55 PM (VE5tZ)

129 tobie, you dont have to worry about catching a v.d. you have to make actual contact with de wimen to do so.


Everyone, even Hollywood liberals, along with skeleton's, have peanut butter in their closet's.

What ? You think those little toy poodles and chihuahua's get toted around for publicity ? Anyone in Hollywood will tell you, the best sex toy in the world is a dog that hasn't ate in a week.

Just ask Mickey Rourke.

Posted by: Tobie The Beagle at May 20, 2009 07:56 PM (AoS9J)

130 Me, too!

Posted by: Chewbacca at May 20, 2009 07:56 PM (VE5tZ)

131 Ace, I just went back and read your old posts about your panic disorder. They almost word for word describe my experience. Thanks for sharing!

Posted by: Girl Thursday at May 20, 2009 07:56 PM (npDwD)

132 Damn you, Tobie, you split my hairy sockpuppets.

Or something.

Posted by: schizuki at May 20, 2009 07:57 PM (VE5tZ)

133 I guess the question here is, who'd you rather ?

Grace Jones or Michelle Obama ?


I know. That's like picking what you'd rather shoot yourself in the head with,....a .40 or a .45.

Posted by: Blazer at May 20, 2009 07:59 PM (AoS9J)

134 I'm thinking Allahpundit won't cover this.

Posted by: nickless at May 20, 2009 07:59 PM (MMC8r)

135 Good God. There are people here who would hit that?

(shudder)

Posted by: Dan on the Strait at May 20, 2009 07:59 PM (10jM/)

136
63
"Dolly Madison was a hottie."

I did like her pie.

Posted by: right at May 20, 2009 08:00 PM (EquV1)

137 OK, so none of those "hotties" lists are complete without Girl Thursday ... and Alex the Chick ... and Paranoid Girl in Seattle ... and the other moron chicas. Of course, I'm not a registered republican, but still.

Posted by: Girl Thursday at May 20, 2009 08:00 PM (npDwD)

138 Good God. There are people here who would hit that?

Sometimes you have to hit them or they'll flop out of the boat.

Posted by: nickless at May 20, 2009 08:01 PM (MMC8r)

139 girl thursday, prove your hot...post your pic.

Posted by: palin steele at May 20, 2009 08:01 PM (VDj74)

140 I did like her pie.


Then you would have really went bonker's over her hair pie.

Posted by: James Madison at May 20, 2009 08:01 PM (AoS9J)

141

Grace Jones or Michelle Obama ? >>

Kenyon Martin?

Posted by: Dan on the Strait at May 20, 2009 08:02 PM (10jM/)

142 57 I just don't find Michelle Obama attractive in the least. It's not so much a pretty/ugly thing as it is that she looks perpetually angry, like she's always scowling. Always. I really don't like her looks.

Same here. She always looks like she's angry, or cramping, or both.

Posted by: Noah Bawdy at May 20, 2009 08:03 PM (dCjum)

143 girl thursday, prove your hot...post your pic.


Make it fair. Prove one of the following:

You have a job.

You don't take prescription medication for depression/bi-polar disorder.

Your not an emo/hipster fag living in moms basement.

Posted by: Blazer at May 20, 2009 08:05 PM (AoS9J)

144 14 When Axelrod thinks than Michelle Obama is one of the most stunning beauties in the country, and that Ms. California is a dog....what is he smoking?
I don't think he was calling her a dog, I think he was calling her a bitch. And Obama was calling Palin a pig. Cuz enlightened liberals can say all the misogynist, racist shit they want and still think it's conservatives who are bigots.

Posted by: Average Jen at May 20, 2009 08:06 PM (KIG/8)

145 120
Republican Women:
Bo Derek
Ann Coulter
Megyn Kelly
Monica Crowley
Laura Bush
Laura Ingraham
Michelle Malkin
Democratic Women:jessica bielangelina joliescarlett johannsonvirtually any and all hotties, most porn stars, etc

Seems the republican list is filled with good looking, intelligent women. While the democrat list is filled with good looking retards. No wonder you're attracted to them.

Posted by: UncleFacts at May 20, 2009 08:07 PM (vZVv7)

146 Palin Steele: I will if you can prove you know how to use a contraction.

Posted by: Girl Thursday at May 20, 2009 08:07 PM (npDwD)

147 146 Palin Steele: I will if you can prove you know how to use a contraction.
Is that where he curls up into the fetal position ?

Posted by: Noah Bawdy at May 20, 2009 08:08 PM (dCjum)

148 Conspicuously absent the Democrat women list is the world famous cock sucker, Monica Lewinsky.

Posted by: Fish at May 20, 2009 08:09 PM (FnA4R)

149 uncle facts,

we libs like our wimen pretty and dumb, duh.

Posted by: palin steele at May 20, 2009 08:10 PM (VDj74)

150 Seems the republican list is filled with good looking, intelligent
women. While the democrat list is filled with good looking retards. No
wonder you're attracted to them.


Hey give him a break. I'm sure one of those lovely Democrat ladies he mentioned above would be thrilled, in fact they'd probably fight each other to serve him a chicken pot pie with a side of Cheeto's and a Pabst down in moms basement his man cave.

Posted by: Blazer at May 20, 2009 08:12 PM (AoS9J)

151 One fine Thursday I accidentally did Jessica Biel, or at least a reasonable facsimile. Mandatory blood tests every six months to eliminate the possibility of testicle shrivel, dick rot, or blood dyscrasia.

Posted by: Fish at May 20, 2009 08:13 PM (FnA4R)

152 The Frisky: "[H]e (Mohr) went off on a mean-spirited monologue about the First Lady." And 3.5 inches away on my screen: "Carrie Prejean's mother is rumored to be gay!"

Posted by: rdbrewer at May 20, 2009 08:14 PM (DQjxs)

153 149
uncle facts,we libs like our wimen pretty and dumb, duh

Must be a real bitch not being able to hold an intelligent conversation with a woman.

Then again, that's kind of the hallmark of leftist trolls like you isn't it?

Weren't you the one a couple of days ago, claiming to be a moderate republican?

Guess you're just another in a long line of concern trolls.

Posted by: UncleFacts at May 20, 2009 08:15 PM (vZVv7)

154 we libs like our wimen pretty petty and dumb, duh.


fify

Posted by: Blazer at May 20, 2009 08:15 PM (AoS9J)

155 149 uncle facts,we libs like our wimen pretty and dumb, duh.
Well one out of two ain't bad.

Posted by: Meatloaf at May 20, 2009 08:16 PM (ewXBY)

156 Let's be honest. Maxim is a stroke mag. Putting Obama on the "100 Hottest" list is absolutely ridiculous. She's barely decent middle-aged mother looking, and that's being charitable.. Not even close to hot. The only people stroking it to her pics work in the media.

Posted by: brak at May 20, 2009 08:16 PM (tL4w1)

157 unclefat

I never claimed to be a moderate republican. I said I hold several conservative positions. there's a difference.

Posted by: palin steele at May 20, 2009 08:16 PM (VDj74)

158 better ease up on the whole Bitchelle ugly thing, she is sharpening her bat'leth. It's time for some payback!

Posted by: Jim King at May 20, 2009 08:17 PM (GBXCy)

159 I agree. Maxim should redeem itself and put out a 100 Cruelest Things You could Ever Do To Your Dick issue. Michelle still wouldn't even crack the top ten, hell even twenty.

Nailing Helen Thomas in her squeekhole sober an hour after she downed her Metamucil and Budweiser would be my number one.

Posted by: Blazer at May 20, 2009 08:21 PM (AoS9J)

160 Palin Steele likes "several conservative positions"? You mean, like missionary?

Posted by: Average Jen at May 20, 2009 08:23 PM (KIG/8)

161 157
unclefatI never claimed to be a moderate republican. I said I hold several conservative positions. there's a difference.

Sorry, you retarded libs all look the same to me.

Posted by: UncleFacts at May 20, 2009 08:24 PM (vZVv7)

162 The unprettiest liberal women are those Code Pink chicks who disrupt meetings, make asses out of themselves by spouting nonsense, and have the expectation that someone other than a short dick liberal would give themmore than a mercy fuck. Nebber hoppen.

Posted by: Fish at May 20, 2009 08:26 PM (FnA4R)

163 brak-

I consider Michelle Obama to be a middle-age woman who's kept herself together, but nothing remarkable. On the Vicious Hose-Beast Scale, with 1 being mid-1990s Janeane Garofalo (which would normally be "meh") and 10 being Medusa from Greek mythology, Michelle rates a 2.

That said, the Maxim thing is horse crap, and I will continue to enjoy every "gilded sasquatch" and "Lt. Worf" reference I see/hear.

Posted by: Hoss Fuentes at May 20, 2009 08:26 PM (QWAKu)

164 Somehow, the whole Sam Kinison "leper whore" sketch is not leaving my mind here.

Posted by: Dan on the Strait at May 20, 2009 08:27 PM (10jM/)

165 Also, to quote Jules Winnfield, "Personality goes a long way."

Average Jen-I believe the "Screaming Wheelbarrow" is a conservative position as well.

Posted by: Hoss Fuentes at May 20, 2009 08:28 PM (QWAKu)

166 164 Sam Kinison "leper whore" sketch

Good times. I'm going to have to watch that on YouTube when I get home tonight.

Posted by: Noah Bawdy at May 20, 2009 08:29 PM (dCjum)

167 Average Jen-I believe the "Screaming Wheelbarrow" is a conservative position as well.


Don't forget the Donkey Punch. However, I only use that on liberal women. Don't have to worry about brain damage with them.

Posted by: Blazer at May 20, 2009 08:31 PM (AoS9J)

168 157 unclefatI never claimed to be a moderate republican. I said I hold several conservative positions. there's a difference.
Yeah, like 'torture' and kill the guys who use to take my lunch money.

Posted by: palin steele at May 20, 2009 08:32 PM (ewXBY)

169 Don't forget the Donkey Punch. However, I only use that on liberal women. Don't have to worry about brain damage with them.

This post is like an onion. Many layers.

Posted by: Hoss Fuentes at May 20, 2009 08:33 PM (QWAKu)

170 85
hey, how do I quote people?


Posted by: palin steele at May 20, 2009 06:47 PM

hey, how do I quote people?

Posted by: Maureen Dowd at May 20, 2009 08:33 PM (93F13)

171 Regarding Michelle's fashion sense: I am reminded of my fashion industry sister's piece of advice...."Just because you can get it buttoned doesn't mean it fits!"

Posted by: Miss Marple at May 20, 2009 08:34 PM (Vli7s)

172 tobie, you dont have to worry about catching a v.d. you have to make actual contact with de wimen to do so.

Posted by: palin steele at May 20, 2009 07:50 PM

tobie, you dont have to worry about catching a v.d. you have to make actual contact with de wimen to do so.


Posted by: Maureen Dowd at May 20, 2009 08:35 PM (93F13)

173 "Carrie Prejean's mother is rumored to be gay!"
Don't forget she's a bookburner.

Posted by: LSM at May 20, 2009 08:35 PM (ewXBY)

174 hey, how do I quote people?


Beats the hell outta me.

Posted by: Joe Biden at May 20, 2009 08:35 PM (AoS9J)

175 anyone see the smackdown jesse ventura gave bush asskisser hannity...it's awesome pwnage.

Posted by: palin steele at May 20, 2009 06:46 PM

anyone see the smackdown jesse ventura gave bush asskisser hannity...it's awesome pwnage.

Posted by: Maureen Dowd at May 20, 2009 08:36 PM (93F13)

176 i think jackie o was quite beautiul and she had great stlye. her voice was also really soft and and sweet. michelle does not even come close in comparison. laura bush is more attractive thanmichelle oand has a 1000 times as much class. even jimmy carter's wife was more attractive than michelle. and barbara bush though no great beauty was smarter and funnier and had more class.

Posted by: joan at May 20, 2009 08:37 PM (v6T4M)

177 Michelle looks like she fell out of an ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down!

Posted by: Jim King at May 20, 2009 08:37 PM (GBXCy)

178 I just asked my friend... a bi, liberal, black woman, "Michelle Obama, "HOT BEAUTY" or "KLINGON"?

The immediate answer? Klingon.

This is NOT your father's Oldsmobile.

Posted by: Dan on the Strait at May 20, 2009 08:38 PM (10jM/)

179
I'll push her face in dough and make gorilla cookies

Posted by: Fred Sanford at May 20, 2009 08:39 PM (93F13)

180 177 Michelle looks like she fell out of an ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down!
Poor tree.

Posted by: Noah Bawdy at May 20, 2009 08:39 PM (dCjum)

181 i dare say even hildebeast was as attractive as michelle, but they both have as much warmth as an ice cube.

Posted by: joan at May 20, 2009 08:42 PM (v6T4M)

182 My favorite passage in the Audacity Of Hope is when Barack Obama was talking about his first kiss with Michelle and how she shaved her beard off for the occasion.

It was very touching.

Posted by: Blazer at May 20, 2009 08:43 PM (AoS9J)

183 181 i dare say even hildebeast was as attractive as michelle, but they both have as much warmth as an ice cube.

Hey !

Posted by: Ice Cube at May 20, 2009 08:44 PM (dCjum)

184
She'd scare the stink off of shit

Posted by: Fred Sanford at May 20, 2009 08:46 PM (93F13)

185 182 I wonder how many blades she went through...

Posted by: Ice Cube at May 20, 2009 08:47 PM (dCjum)

186 i also think gw was the best looking pres we have had too, better looking than jfk. reagan was quite handsome and looked great in his old age .

Posted by: joan at May 20, 2009 08:47 PM (v6T4M)

187 Oregon muse,
I'm still on it, although I have not recorded any today. I need to test the files --on a different computer, so I can tell whether it's just these speakers or something else.

Posted by: logprof at May 20, 2009 08:48 PM (tjUml)

188 "the attractive lists list people who are wellput together...and michelle is wellput together"

The Centurions on BSG were generally well put together (riveted one might say), and they had way more feminine grace than M.O., yet they did not make Maxim's Hot 100 list. Condi Rice is much better looking than M.O. (in spite of the teeth, and she did not have a satellite dish for an ass), yet she did not make the list.

Posted by: Holdfast at May 20, 2009 08:52 PM (Gzb30)

189
I swear I saw her bust out of the gut of one of the Secret Service guys in the White House kitchen. Luckily I had the laser blaster that hit one of the windows, sucked her right out through it.

That vision went away when the kitchen staff turned off the microwave though

Posted by: Joe Biden at May 20, 2009 08:52 PM (93F13)

190 hi dan

Posted by: joan at May 20, 2009 08:53 PM (v6T4M)

191 Same here. She always looks like she's angry, or cramping, or both.

-Maybe she only has one look?

Posted by: Derek Zoolander at May 20, 2009 08:58 PM (Gzb30)

192
I told MO once not to wear yellow because it made her ass look so big that folks were yelling "TAXI!!"

Well, her eyes turned an eerie bright green, her already awesome arms grew to the size of tree trunks and she hurled the Presidential Limo at me.

I tell you folks one thing. Remember to remove the plastic wrapper before lighting up a cigar

Posted by: Joe Biden at May 20, 2009 08:59 PM (93F13)

193 She's a samsquanch!

Posted by: mrcaniac at May 20, 2009 09:01 PM (Rbulg)

194 You guys think you have it hard ? Fuck you. Try rubbing Michelle's tennis ball sized bunions everynight after she's been out in the garden all day long in her size 22 high heels.

Dr. Scholls ain't never get a whiff of a foot like that.

Jeez, guys, gimme a break allready. I'm the Commander In Chief for chrissakes, the most powerful man in the world. I thought the Secret Service was supposed to do that shit.

Posted by: Barack at May 20, 2009 09:01 PM (AoS9J)

195 22 When morons are confronted with the choice of hitting either Aunt Jemima or Michelle Obama, over 98% of the Moron Brigade chooses auntie, and the 2% should be ashamed.



You get breakfast in the morning too!

Not to mention, Auntie will your salad tossed. . . with syrup.

tahDeetz

Posted by: tahDeetz at May 20, 2009 09:02 PM (oJPh8)

196 Republican Women:
Bo Derek
Ann Coulter
Megyn Kelly
Monica Crowley
Laura Bush
Laura Ingraham
Michelle Malkin

Democratic Women:
jessica biel
angelina jolie
scarlett johannson
virtually any and all hotties, most porn stars, etc
--You would do well to compare apples (pols/wives thereof) to apples, and oranges (celebs/columnists) to oranges
When you do it that way, conservative beatthe libs in the pol category, no contest (Palin, Cindy McCain hell even Maggie Thatcher back in the day versus, uh, whom?). Celebs is tougher because of the small sample size of admitted conservatives (under virtual gag order in Hollywood).
Category C is everyone else of us schlubs, and I would bet my paycheck that the conservative chicks win out there too, particularly in being disease- and drug-free. (I know for sure which side of the barrier in a pro-life demonstration has the prettier --and happier--women.) Like Derbyshire wrote, "Liberal women aren't better-looking; they're just easier."

Posted by: logprof at May 20, 2009 09:04 PM (tjUml)

197 Angelina Jolie says...
“I think people assume I’m a Democrat. But I’m registered independent and I’m still undecided. So I’m looking at McCain as well as Obama.”

Posted by: The Oort Cloud at May 20, 2009 09:05 PM (nOQXA)

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Posted by: royalmewigs at May 20, 2009 09:23 PM (8KZ/I)

199 >

Hey, girl... welcome to the Sasquatch thread!

So gimme the female perspective on Michelle.

Posted by: Dan on the Strait at May 20, 2009 09:23 PM (10jM/)

200 Wow. I can't believe how much I missed the lace wigs.

I'm a little... emotional right now. Gimme a minute. (sob)

Posted by: Dan on the Strait at May 20, 2009 09:25 PM (10jM/)

201 What Michelle needs is a lace wig.

Posted by: african chick at May 20, 2009 09:25 PM (AjsNX)

202 dan , post 176, 181

Posted by: joan at May 20, 2009 09:26 PM (kxWJ2)

203 202 Dang... I missed those! For a while, the comments were a'flyin'...

Posted by: Dan on the Strait at May 20, 2009 09:28 PM (10jM/)

204 michelle o can be pretty photogenic at times

Well, she can look good in still photos - but when you see her move, she has a somewhat ungainly, ungraceful way about her. Also, when she opens her mouth - no grace whatsoever. Yikes.

Posted by: Jane at May 20, 2009 09:28 PM (gIQ7K)

205 56 Awwww, c'moff it allready. Michelle is one fugly bitch and not because she's black either, fugly comes in all color's.

-----------

Hey morons, I know I'm late to the game but I have an honest question. I've always suspected white men find black women unattractive on the whole and that we are on the lowest part of the totem pole (for white dudes) compared to females of other races/ethnicities. Is that true?

Not trying to stir up a hornets nest.

Posted by: african chick at May 20, 2009 09:30 PM (AjsNX)

206 jane, what do you mean she has no grace when she opens her mouth? are you talking about her teeth (below average) or her speaking ability (above average)?

Posted by: palin steele at May 20, 2009 09:30 PM (VDj74)

207 That would be *hornet's nest*.

Posted by: african chick at May 20, 2009 09:30 PM (AjsNX)

208 You guys think you have it hard ? Fuck you. Try rubbing Michelle's
tennis ball sized bunions everynight after she's been out in the garden
all day long in her size 22 high heels.



Dr. Scholls ain't never get a whiff of a foot like that.



Jeez, guys, gimme a break allready. I'm the Commander In Chief for
chrissakes, the most powerful man in the world. I thought the Secret
Service was supposed to do that shit.

Posted by: Barack at May 20, 2009 09:32 PM (AoS9J)

209 yeh think we have pretty much exhausted this thread, i'm glad a comedian finally came out and made fun of michelle though, he's probably toast now. i don't like calling other women ugly, i don;t think michelle's looks are what makes her unattractive.

Posted by: joan at May 20, 2009 09:34 PM (kxWJ2)

210 T. AKA Ricky Raw: Michelle Obama is pretty attractive, if you find Patrick Ewing in drag to be an attractive concept.
Ouch.

Posted by: Lucius Vorenus at May 20, 2009 09:35 PM (MXbNo)

211 @205

I've always suspected white men find black women unattractive on the
whole and that we are on the lowest part of the totem pole (for white
dudes) compared to females of other races/ethnicities. Is that true?




Not at all. There are as many attractive black women as well as white women, however, Michelle ain't one of em', and I'm tired of the media trying to cram that shit down our throat's.

Michelle's as ugly inside as she is outside too.

I find black women extremely sexy,...... M.O., not sexy,..... despite the media's best intention's.

Posted by: Blazer at May 20, 2009 09:37 PM (AoS9J)

212 Blazer, thanks for responding.

For the record, Michelle Obama is not hot. She looks nice sometimes and, unlike most here, I think she has a nice figure, but pretty she isn't. And I saw a picture of her from a while ago, before she became prominently known. Let's just say make-up, nice clothes, and a good hairdresser do a world of different.

On a similar vein, wasn't Turbo Tax Tim one of People's most beautiful people? (Or some other mag.) I believe it turned out that his bro was one of the mag editors or something.

Posted by: african chick at May 20, 2009 09:44 PM (AjsNX)

213 make a world of difference.

(Darn it!)

Posted by: african chick at May 20, 2009 09:45 PM (AjsNX)

214 #205
Hey morons, I know I'm late to the game but I have an honest question. I've always suspected white men find black women unattractive on the whole and that we are on the lowest part of the totem pole (for white dudes) compared to females of other races/ethnicities. Is that true? --Not to stir up a hornet's nest myself, but isn't a similar issue that black women (well at least in the States) want nothing to do with white guys?
Personally, I like black women a lot. Our family does not discriminate at all. My uncle even married a woman (a very sexy one, at that) from Angola.I would say say that among the prettiest women to me have a mixture of races --including women with some African ancestry(think Brazil especially).
I don't really have a totem pole race-wsie; I rank my women on a case-by-case basis. ;-)

Posted by: logprof at May 20, 2009 09:47 PM (tjUml)

215 This thread bothers me a bit.

As a gentleman, I try not to point out the obvious when I see a woman who has a face that could make a freight train take a dirt road.

So I can't participate in this thread.


Posted by: trainer at May 20, 2009 09:47 PM (yCWYQ)

216 I think Condi Rice is gorgeous.

Posted by: rdbrewer at May 20, 2009 09:50 PM (DQjxs)

217 logprof,

how are you doing the conversion? When I wanted to digitize my vinyl, I bought me one of those turntables with a USB connector and captured the audio on my PC with Audacity, which I was then able to cut up into separate MP3 files. Never had a problem.

Beats having to buy a bunch of CDs.

You having problems?

Posted by: OregonMuse at May 20, 2009 09:51 PM (wQE87)

218 As for Michelle, I do not find her ugly --on the outside. I'll grant that she has put on a few pounds since the election, but that's to be expected, likeNFL draft prospects during the banquet circuit (or me after getting a real job).
She needs to fire her wardrobe advisor as well. --and resolve those anger issues.

Posted by: logprof at May 20, 2009 09:51 PM (tjUml)

219 Joan, I agree with most of what you said about the looks of the other First Ladies, but if you haven't ever seen the pic of Barbara Bush in a bathing suit when she was young, you should. She was a very attractive young woman. She just got matronly as she aged too quickly. Jackie O wasn't great looking, but she was CLASSY. Michelle Obama comes across like a linebacker, especially when she walks! She looks decent cause she has 24/7 makeover teams working on her. Any one of us moron chicks would look 10 times better. Jeez, have ya'll not ever looked at the Stars w/o makeup pics in the tabloids? Some of them are scary.

Posted by: di butler (no longer mentioning her tits) at May 20, 2009 09:52 PM (oNWMY)

220 @79 Iray Craig, where are you!!


you know he's chillin' with Home Skillet!

Posted by: Terry at May 20, 2009 09:53 PM (foKte)

221 Blacks chicks can be very hot. MO does not do it for me. It has more to do with who she is more than what she looks like.

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222 #217 Oregon muse
Well, the problems involved the sound seeming to "skip" like a record or CD (despite that I was recording cassettes --not ready to work on the vinyl) when I would jolt the table, which i thought odd. There's no way yet to confirm until I listen to some of the files elsewhere, maybe on my ipod.

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Posted by: samchan at May 20, 2009 09:56 PM (z96UH)

224 219 Joan, I agree with most of what you said about the looks of the other First Ladies, but if you haven't ever seen the pic of Barbara Bush in a bathing suit when she was young, you should. She was a very attractive young woman. She just got matronly as she aged too quickly. Jackie O wasn't great looking, but she was CLASSY. Michelle Obama comes across like a linebacker, especially when she walks! She looks decent cause she has 24/7 makeover teams working on her. Any one of us moron chicks would look 10 times better. Jeez, have ya'll not ever looked at the Stars w/o makeup pics in the tabloids? Some of them are scary.

you are right about barbara, she may have been a hottie when she was younger. barbara i think is a warm person, beautiful from the inside outand she is matronly. i do think jackie was beautiful though.

Posted by: joan at May 20, 2009 09:57 PM (kxWJ2)

225 hmmmm... wish I had an answer for you. Other than, don't jolt the table, I guess.

Posted by: OregonMuse at May 20, 2009 09:58 PM (wQE87)

226 hi brew howz chewz ?

Posted by: joan at May 20, 2009 09:59 PM (kxWJ2)

227 Hi, hoan!

Posted by: rdbrewer at May 20, 2009 10:00 PM (DQjxs)

228 that was nice what you said about condoleeza rice, brew. i think it was prertty unfair how her appearence was criticized, shows the ridiculous double standard by libs.

Posted by: joan at May 20, 2009 10:03 PM (kxWJ2)

229 I didn't know anyone criticized her appearance. Well, vague recollection.

Posted by: rdbrewer at May 20, 2009 10:06 PM (DQjxs)

230 caricatures of her mostly

Posted by: joan at May 20, 2009 10:07 PM (gzDdQ)

231 Hoan, I've actually been sleeping at night for the past couple of days. (heh) I'm going to try to hit it right now.
Enjoy, nite shift. Don't forget me or nuthin'.

Posted by: rdbrewer at May 20, 2009 10:11 PM (DQjxs)

232 He'll be fine. Radio silence on this one. If they try to make to big a deal about it people will actually start thinking about the whole situation and the media doesn't want that. The last thing they need is the lightbulb going off over a bunch of peoples heads and having them think "Hey, why exactly is the media trying to sell me that Michelle Obama is hot and why are they going nuts just because some comedian disagrees?"
I could be instructive to people who have a pulse that perhaps maybe these Michelle Obama fanclub members known as the MSM might possibly not be wholly objective about the subject matter. If they're so smitten with Barack Obama that they can't tell that Michelle Obama is not some kind of supermodel and actually has....uh, ratherunique features then what else are they missing?

Posted by: Big E at May 20, 2009 10:12 PM (VOigi)

233 that's good to hear brew. i still have terrible insomnia, woke up today at 1pm, steve dragged me out of bed or i would have slept longer.

Posted by: joan at May 20, 2009 10:13 PM (gzDdQ)

234 I learned a couple of songs for you.

Posted by: rdbrewer at May 20, 2009 10:15 PM (DQjxs)

235 joan, how are the hippies today up there? :-)

Posted by: logprof at May 20, 2009 10:15 PM (tjUml)

236 i saw that. mazzy and nick drake ?

Posted by: joan at May 20, 2009 10:15 PM (gzDdQ)

237 I just heard Rush call into Greta's show unexpectedly. He obviously likes the Gretster.I loved his little speech today about Colin Powell. Excellent.I still cannot believe that Greta saved Anal Marie Cox from dying on the train. That is some wild crap. Wonder why she did it? Maybe she didn't see the mark of the beast?

Posted by: di butler (no longer mentioning her tits) at May 20, 2009 10:16 PM (oNWMY)

238 Palin Steele, I find her comments ungraceful.

For example, America is "just downright mean"

Also: "Barack will never allow you to go back to your lives as usual, uninvolved, uninformed." How does she know I'm uninvolved and uniformed? Cheeky assumption.

And the New Yorker reported she called America a nation of cynics and sloths.

It is also terribly ungraceful to discuss your advantages in front of people who don't have those advantages - like commenting on how nice it is to have a chef or personal assistant in front of people who don't (and who, by the way, are PAYING for yours). Or to talk about how expensive summer camp is for the kids during a speech to people who struggle to pay their mortgages and grocery bills.




Posted by: Jane at May 20, 2009 10:19 PM (gIQ7K)

239 log, the hippies smell of dirty feet, patchouli and bongwater as always.

Posted by: joan at May 20, 2009 10:19 PM (gzDdQ)

240 It is also terribly ungraceful to discuss your advantages in front of people who don't have those advantages - like commenting on how nice it is to have a chef or personal assistant in front of people who don't (and who, by the way, are PAYING for yours). Or to talk about how expensive summer camp is for the kids during a speech to people who struggle to pay their mortgages and grocery bills.

don't forget the freaking $500 tennis shoes at the homeless shelter (i think ) wtf. michelle is not a very appealing person, arrogant, dumb and mean.

Posted by: joan at May 20, 2009 10:22 PM (gzDdQ)

241 Wow, regardless of how this game ends, the myth of the Cavaliers cakewalking to a title is blown.
(Please, someone beat Kobe!)

Posted by: logprof at May 20, 2009 10:24 PM (tjUml)

242 Another 'graceful' Michelle O comment:

"I think I was like most Americans. Pretty oblivious to the life of military families. Sort of taking it for granted."

Posted by: Jane at May 20, 2009 10:29 PM (gIQ7K)

243 shit like that makes me want to choke a bitch.

Posted by: joan at May 20, 2009 10:30 PM (gzDdQ)

244 Barbara Bush was way too ancient. She looked even older then, then Nancy Reagan does now.
It is in yet another way that old people become like children, in that at some point they become completely asexual. Neither "hot" nor "not hot" but just "not applicable". Asking if you'd do her is like asking what the color blue sounds like.
Laura Bush, however, is hittable.

Posted by: Entropy at May 20, 2009 10:34 PM (cok/k)

245 Angelina Jolie and her father are both conservatives, as I recall.
Why would any of you accept what palin steele writes at face value.

Hey palin steele,
Have you figured out when and where open mic night is?
Confess your lies because it's good for the soul.

Posted by: Nom de Blog at May 20, 2009 10:42 PM (fnU+z)

246 PRESS SECRETARY GIBBS: "Ah yes, nest question, the New York Times reporter, Jeff Zeleny...Jeff?"

JEFF ZELENY: "Hi Michelle! If you were a piece of pie, what kind of pie would you be?"

FIRST LADY: "For the first time in my life, I can sincerely say that I am proud to be a tasty piece of chocolate pie. Know what I'm sayin'...?"


Posted by: PLC14 at May 20, 2009 10:44 PM (sasV9)

247 "Barbara Bush was way too ancient."

I always thought BB looked more like George HW Bush's mom than his wife.

But I like her A LOT. So, she didn't color her hair or watch her figure - she is a great lady.


Posted by: Jane at May 20, 2009 10:48 PM (gIQ7K)

248 thanks, now i'll never eat another chocolate pie.

Posted by: joan at May 20, 2009 10:48 PM (gzDdQ)

249 You know how you'll hear someone say, "She looks like she got hit in the face with a frying pan?" Michelle's face literally looks like that.

And while the couch upholstery dress was horrific, I was way more taken aback by that black number with the red panel in front. Yes, the black wife of the first black President literally dressed like a Black Widow. I was honestly worried about an assassin at that point. Don't dare fate, Michelle.

Posted by: schizuki at May 20, 2009 11:11 PM (VE5tZ)

250 I still think mo looks like a cross between a drunk Patrick Ewing and that bulldog smoking a cigar in the old "dogs playin eight ball" picture. Butt ass fugly, and her personality is worse.Sort of like a turd filled with pus pockets and vomit.

Posted by: drolmorg at May 20, 2009 11:12 PM (phXJn)

251 Do white dudes find black chicks attractive? Depends on the chick. Same as white chicks.

Sure, I dig blondes, but I'd give my left arm to hit something like Tyra Banks (before she got a fat ass.) And "African" is too large a set - it's like "European." Eastern European chicks are generally hot as hell (when young, at least) while I don't find Greek or Italian women generally attractive. So I find East African women to be pretty hot, but I'm not as high on the West African ones in general.

In short - it's the chick, not the color (even though being very different definitely lends a hot "exotic" aspect.) Sadly, at age 43 and married, I'm a little bummed that "sleep with a hot black girl" will forever remain uncrossed-off on my List.

Posted by: schizuki at May 20, 2009 11:19 PM (VE5tZ)

252 There are tons of hot black chicks, look at all the chicks in the music biz, the acting biz,or are models. MO is just not one of them. I think Lauren Greene from Fox is a doll. She is smart, classy and very attractive. I don't know why they don't use her more.

Posted by: di butler (no longer mentioning her tits) at May 20, 2009 11:29 PM (oNWMY)

253 We have Dennis Rodman as first ladyand there's no way "she" isn't poundingObama's squeek-hole with a strap-on.

Posted by: Larsen E. Whipsnade at May 20, 2009 11:31 PM (9dOTD)

254 Eeeeexcellent. I missed Mohr's Smack-off call the day of. He's so funny on the Rome show that it's scary. I'll never forget his call from 10 or 12 years ago on Big Fat Cecil Fielder (Big Fat Prince Fielder's dad, of course) playing in Japan, and them mistaking him for Godzilla. "Ruuuuuun!! Godzirraaaaaaa! Ruuuun!" "No, fellas! I'm Cecil Fielder. I'm on your team now..." "Ooooooooooooooh. Godzirra... bat...fourth."

Like Mark Steyn is a better guest host than Rush is as actual host, Mohr is better than Rome.

Posted by: Bender Bending Rodriguez at May 20, 2009 11:53 PM (Hk0E1)

255 Mark Steyn is a better guest host than Rush is as actual host

So true.


Posted by: Jane at May 21, 2009 12:13 AM (gIQ7K)

256 I will always be an admirer of Jay Mohrfor that show Action back in the late 90s. The scenes he had with Buddy Hackett were some of the funniest ever on the small screen.
I wouldn't worry for him too much. At least he's still banging Nikki Cox every night.

Posted by: Mark V. at May 21, 2009 04:48 AM (h9hPV)

257 I've always suspected white men find black women unattractive on the whole and that we are on the lowest part of the totem pole (for white dudes) compared to females of other races/ethnicities. Is that true?

You are indeed correct!

Posted by: Jay at May 21, 2009 06:32 AM (iy1Xt)

258 Evidently Jay here has never had any Brown Sugar. Too bad, dude. No need to be racist about it.

Posted by: nikkolai at May 21, 2009 06:37 AM (G8d+5)

259 What happend to this blog? Who let all the fag trolls in? What happened to the AOSHQ I once knew and loved that would have dismembered them?

Michelle Obama is one ugly bigfoot. And her bend over boyfriend husband is a cunt.

Posted by: LtE113(Mike in Chicago) at May 21, 2009 07:24 AM (3NFq/)

260 I am pleased that so many think MO is beautiful.. She has people paid as full time employees to make her up and do her hair...Queenie over in the UK has less help than MO. Look at old photos of BO and MO...not good looking, the image makers are successful and the MSM is eating up this stale meme each day like they are seeing it for the first time.
Yes, I was very surprised when Axelrod took a doggy attack to Ms. California...and the MSM laughed...misogyny all around.

Posted by: ford at May 21, 2009 07:41 AM (Ki7fm)

261 Wow did I enjoy that! I am sure that Jay won't be able to get a gig at the Holiday Inn on Rt 9 ever again but it will have been worth it.

Posted by: Marie at May 21, 2009 08:50 AM (KqpgS)

262 Evidently Jay here has never had any Brown Sugar. Too bad, dude. No need to be racist about it.
Um, actually I have. But that has nothing to do with the fact that there are very, very few good looking black women out there.

Posted by: Jay at May 21, 2009 09:13 AM (/ZX77)

263 What I don't get is how they ( you know, "they") always go for the inversion.

I mean, they could say, "Michelle is forceful, and commanding, and a professional, and yadda yadda yadda, and at least it could be arguable. I could have that argument.

I am not going to have the argument that Michelle Obama is prettier than Padma Lakshmi. That is just not going to happen, because it's a stupid contention.

Even if she does have the nicest teeth on Kronos.

Posted by: Merovign, Strong on His Mountain at May 21, 2009 09:23 AM (or0jG)

264 If it weren't for the offensive drivel that comes out of her mouth, I'd say it was obvious she's above-average looking for any woman in public life (not counting entertainment), and miles above any First Lady I can think of in the last century (perhaps not counting Jackie Kennedy). I don't think it's a good idea to obsess on the beauty of ugliness of prominent women. We're much harder on them than on men, and much more preoccupied with their looks, and much more inclined to be extra hard on them if we don't like what they say. That kind of ugliness is on us, not them.

Posted by: Texan99 at May 21, 2009 11:51 AM (uetv9)

265 Do the math. The broad is fugly and, in large part, because she chooses to be.

Posted by: Gone Gulchin' at May 21, 2009 12:04 PM (Lip4P)

266 Isn't it "And you're meddling with powers you can't possibly comprehend"?

Posted by: sydney jane at May 21, 2009 07:32 PM (wogbZ)

267 I can't see how anyone finds her attractive. I'm not trying to be mean, but she really does look like a tranny. She's rancid. I'll give you that she's not morbidly obese, but that's about where the kudos end.

I got stuck out overnight once when I couldn't get my deer back to camp; I shot it with the last of the light. It wasn't the first night I've spent out, I made myself a little debris shelter and slept as best I could, then quartered it and hiked out at first light. I could really have used Michelle's ass as a windbreak that night.

Posted by: carl hungus at May 21, 2009 08:28 PM (7b51Q)

268 Personally, I think the asians boast the best looking women closely followed by the whites. There are plenty of good looking black women out there too, but I'll bet most of themhave white mothers. No offense, I'm just sayin. There's a reason every brutha (and everyone else) wants blondie.

Posted by: drolmorg at May 21, 2009 11:13 PM (phXJn)

269 Hey! West African chicks are hot, too! You just haven't seen the right ones.

Posted by: african chick at May 21, 2009 11:44 PM (AjsNX)

270 jay really shouldn't be talking about people wives because his wife looks like she has pussy lips on her face. google nikki cox and you will see some pretty beat up looking pics. maybe jay should stick to what he's knows best: shitty comedy routines and hair plugs

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